Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 81 - Fielding Edlow & Larry Clarke

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

Meet Fielding Edlow and Larry Clarke - the definition of marital bliss and the stars of Bitter Homes and Gardens.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey! sourdough. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you for joining us at this table as we head into the holidays. Very exciting show for you today. We have Fielding Edlo and Larry Clark, a married, comedic, acting powerhouse couple who have a great web series called Bitter Homes and Gardens. You have to look it up, Bitter Home and Gardens. You have to look it up on the YouTube's. It's hilarious. They're so funny together.

If you have been anywhere near a relationship, you will definitely see shades of yourself and your partner in this very funny series. They've got great guests on it. They write it and produce it and do everything themselves. They're super funny. And I figured what better, what better guests for our Thanksgiving week show than people that are going to make you feel better about your own life. I got a beautiful banana bread. I have a feeling it's not from Larry.

It's really from fielding. I'm very grateful. They also got two breads. More of that when we get into it. This show is brought to you by me. I'm out on tour. So make sure you go to tompapa.com. I have a lot of tickets in the New Year.

If you're thinking about what you want to give your loved ones, perhaps. I have some shows before then. I'm going to San Francisco at Cobbs. And I also have Tarrytown, New York. We'll be wrapped up by this one. And then we're going to Arizona. We're going to North Dakota. My father just pointed out I'm going to North Dakota in Milwaukee in February.

That's how much I love you. But lots of tickets, all going through the spring. We just announced the win in Las Vegas. We're returning there in May. So make sure you go to tompapa.com and get your tickets there. I hope you're doing well. I hope your holiday is great. I hope this adds some joy to your week.

It is a week of celebrating, I do believe. I have already made my list of things that I need to complete my holiday feast, which I will be doing for, I think it's 14 people this year. I've got a little panic that I ordered my turkey too early, but we'll figure that out. And I have all of these different, I literally started listing all of the things out that I need. I just enjoy it.

I mean, for a week and a half out to be doing your shopping list for a meal, shows that you're kind of into it. But there's pressure also. You don't want to blow that one. You know, if you're successful all year, and then you blow Thanksgiving for people who are coming in and the people especially who aren't with their family and are turning to you to satisfy this emotional holiday, you blow that one. You're really, really screwed. So take some care and go through it.

And even if you're just making one thing, nothing wrong also with going and taking a dry run. I made carrots the other night, these caramelized carrots, which were insanely good. And it was a preview. It was a little cheat, a little. practice. It took a couple hours, but now I know what to do and what to expect when I go into it. And the rest of it is all from Thanksgiving past, one or two new things. So it's all dialed in, but it is a lot of work. This one, this is, for some reason, the weight of this and that everything has to come out at the same time, this is pressure. This is definitely, I do a huge thing on Christmas Eve as well, where we do the feast of the seven fishes and it's a big thing and there's like lasagnas and

all this other stuff. For some reason, that is more casual than what is going to happen on Thanksgiving. It is a stress-filled meal for sure. Doesn't mean you don't love it. Doesn't mean you don't enjoy it, but you got to dial in and prepare. And I hope you do well, wherever you go and whatever you do. This is a big celebration. Anything that you can tie into food and that much family, go for it. And I saw a couple snarky articles that were talking about the history of Thanksgiving or the real meaning of Thanksgiving and even during the pandemic and all that. Like, what does it really mean? You know what it means? It means shut in your face and being thankful for your life and for the people around you who you love.

End of story. That's it. Just take one day out of the year and sit with the people you love and just be thankful. Don't make any more of it than it has to be. Just enjoy your life. All right, enjoy this interview. This is Fielding Edelow and Larry Clark. Two very funny people.

And as you'll see, we've all worked together in different capacities, but to sit down with them and after seeing all of their videos and being fans of them and then to sit and actually see it really unfold is hilarious, charming, funny, great people. This will not be the last time that we sit down with them for sure. So enjoy. Thank you so much for being here. I was running late because I was taking care of your breads. Put your hand on.

Are you kidding me? Oh, my gosh. This one I baked before the weekend before I went out on the road. And then froze it. Oh. So it should be good. This one just came out and you can feel it. This is like 102 degrees.

Yeah, this is really hot. 500 degrees. I'm very excited. I've never felt so taken care of in my life. Well, it was very funny because I was like, oh, wait, I'd really need one bread. They're married. Right. And then I was like, and then I did like a deep dive into all your videos and stuff on bitter

Home and Gardens. I was like, I don't know. They probably should have their own breads. There's been no truer statement uttered. No truer statement. Yeah. We almost drove here separately. I thought that when I pulled in.

I was like, I wonder which two cars are theirs. Yeah. And most of the time we do, because he's like, I can't take on your energy, like on the car ride. No. Because you get really nervous. It was different this time. I said, we should go together and develop some kind of rapport before we go. He did.

He wanted to play tennis. A lot of times, you know, like this morning she didn't talk to me. She was doing, you were doing meditating and hanging out. Like, not talking to me. And then we'll go and do like a podcast. And she's like, oh, and then we just, we kick in. And it's like this pretend acting couple. What did I do when I came over to you?

And we were about to get. And I said, do you want to hug? Yeah. She said, do you want to have? Do you want to have a moment of togetherness this morning? And then as soon as we hugged, you went like this, is that enough? And I was like, I actually enjoyed it. Well, that's kind of the funny dynamic that you have is you're never really sure.

Let me try and describe it. And I'll be insulting to everybody. There is, watching it as someone who's been married for 21 years, it's sometimes it's nails on a chalkboard accurate. Like, it's so, like, it's so good. It's so funny. I appreciate that. And there's so much to it. But the thing that's funny is you both go back and forth from being the needy one in the relationship.

Like it's not set that you're going to be like, you're watching the Chernobyl thing. And you're like, would you do that for me? And you're like, that whole episode, you're just like, go F yourself. I can't handle you right now. Of course I wouldn't die for you. Like, are you, please. Yeah. But then it switches.

And then all of a sudden you're needy. Yeah. Which is so accurate in a relationship. I mean, you don't see it with the breakneck speed that you guys have within like a seven-minute episode. But we'll go through like months where you're like, I just want to be with you. And then when she's like, I want to be with you. You're like, ugh, get off to me. But it's never really when you're on the same level a lot of the time.

Like I always feel like they'll be like, I think you love each other differently in different times too. Because I'll look at them and be like, you fall more deeply in love with me every day. And he's like, absolutely not. Not at all. I can't tell you how not true that is. And also, we actually did this based on, you know, real quarantine, what happened to us. And it was crazy time. I mean, it was weird.

You know how some comedians have that joke were like, my life was the same, or like the same during the, and like, we were kind of the same too, like our relationship. I mean, it put a little bit of a stressor. Well, I mean, you're referring to the Chernobyl thing. We actually, I remember watching Shernoble, not watching Chernobyl, because I was so depressed out of my brain. Do you say Shernoble or Chernoble? Sorry, Shernoble. Are you, are we supposed to say sure? No. No. Is it like Iran? Shil Nobel. He has weird pronunciation. I do. I actually say

weird. Weird pronunciation. Anyway, Chernobyl, I remember and I was like, listen, it's the pandemic. I'm not watching the most depressing show on HBO. Is it Netflix? HBO. HBO. And I started hearing it and she's like, you have to watch this. And it kind of, like that ominous soundtrack Yeah Yeah You know, you know, people

screaming And so I just had to like Take a pick And then it You know, I looked in And I specifically avoided The first episode And then it just got me

And I got so depressed But at the same time I couldn't stop watching it And it pervaded You get a very affected Like he's really the actor When he takes on energy And he can shake it off

You're Irish? Oh yeah Yeah Yeah I like I'm not done It comes that, yeah, it comes through in your acting, too. There's that, like, that Irish poetry thing. Angst.

Yeah, angst. That's a nice way of putting it. I mean, that nonstop storytelling interminable pauses. Yeah. And there was something about watching that on top of what this impending doom was. You remember their first reports of the COVID? They were like, I remember hearing the first numbers was depressed the hell to me. They were like, 50,000 people were going to die.

We're like, oh, come on. There's only 2,000 dead. They're like, no, 50,000. I remember thinking of death just like marching across this down. Depressed out of my mind. And then I was watching Chernobyl and trying to connect to you. Trying to connect to me. I don't know about that.

Connect to me. We were trying to find connections. We were trying to do things. I guess. It was tough, man. You saw Chernobyl as a comedy. She was laughing. I saw it as like almost call my agent or a nice little whimsical romp.

I mean, the shooting of the dogs was horrible, but like, I mean. Well, this is kind of, there's kind of, there is that thing about, it's a funny combination of Jewish and Irish because the Jewish part of reflection and stuff, they do it so much better because they have it and it's angsty and it's, and then let's eat and then move on. And the Irish will kind of wade into those waters and then carry it for years. and never leaves. Definitely. No, never leaves. His family would tell stories

and they're still talking at three in the morning. And I'm like, what do you, stop it? Like, do you think you're all so interesting? Yeah. Like in the same stories. No, we're complete opposites. Yeah.

And I, Irish. I argue. I Irish. Oh, they tell you, I'm Irish. I know, when I argue, like, an Irish Catholic family like I was raised, nice, good arguing. And she'll fall asleep in the middle of, like, she'll go to bed.

In the middle of the argument. I go, what are you doing? She's like, I come on to bed. Like, you can't do. to bed right now. And he still will spin and spin as if we're still dating. Like, it really affects him. I'm like, nobody's going anywhere. Why do you give a shit what I say to you? She does, we'll pick it up in the morning. And I was like, I don't sleep all night. I have that problem. I have that too. I can't shake it off. Yeah, I don't, I'm not good with conflict.

So if there's, I'm not either really. I got into a thing with my daughter last night, right before bed. And it was like, I literally was on my way to bed. And we got into this kerfuffle. And I just laid him. I was like, I really wanted to get to sleep early. I had stuff to do and I just laid there for two hours just going through scenarios in my head. I'm not good at it. It's torture. The arguing in your head. Oh, forget about it.

Yeah. Yeah. But was your household fighty when you were home? No, it was this silent, scorn, simmering resentment and go into other rooms. Yeah, they shut down. They just shut down. But I never saw my parents fight and then resolve it. Right.

Not once. Like I never saw, like, all of our couple therapists is like, if you can just put your hand on his shoulder and be like, I love you, you're a great actor. You're good looking. You're the greatest actor of your generation. And then he's like, are we going to pavilions? But it's like, for me, I didn't, I'm really bad with conflict. I'm better now.

Because your parents didn't have conflict. It was always so much acrimony. It's like a live and divorce. Right. But it's like it never just was this healthy we're fighting and then we dealt with it. Right, right. And no one apologized. So you've been rebelling from that for years and finding your voice through me.

I swung to the extent. Yeah. She attacks me. He got everything. Like it was like this Pandora's box. and he's like, I am a woman, and I'm going to have to talk. And he's like, oh, my fucking God, why did I marry this? I was raised this way.

I can't argue like this. That's why you bring up your mother in every fight. Every single fight, I'm like, you're 57. Like, stop it. What do you mean he brings up his mom? He's like, I was raised by an angry woman. An abusive narcissist who was brilliant and disturbed. And it's given me issues until the day I passed.

How many kids? There were five of us. Five of you. Yeah. Yeah. And then you were in the middle somewhere? I was the last. Oh, no.

The youngest, unfortunately for me. I was mama's boy. The baby. I was the last one left in the house. Oh, that's a good combo though. Yes and no. I mean, I mean, yes. If he remembers his place in line, it works.

Right, exactly. So how do you decide, how do you decide to start making bitter homes? That's a long story. He's going to know. If it's just still like, I'm going to distill it down to three cents. No, no, don't make me. Give me the long word. There was a night.

We actually, she was asked. I want to just say, because I know you get mad at me for saying this, I was commissioned. Oh, commissioned. And I use that lightly. It's a light commission. It was a light commission. From Temple Israel, they were putting up a night on forgiveness. I don't know, you probably have many Jewish, some Jewish listeners.

A ton. It's the forgiveness. Yes. This is food and family, of course. It's Tom Papa. What was the holiday? Sleeco. Okay, never heard of it.

Right. He still, whatever, he'd just learn what Heros it is. So we, they're like, field of fielding right at one act on forgiveness. But other people wrote one acts on like the IRA, like the Holocaust stealing your grandmother's morphine, and we were like the palate cleanser or whatever. And you were funny.

And we wrote who erased Game of Thrones from the DBR? Literally. It's this night of like crazy, like, I was hid in an attic in the Holocaust. And we're like, why'd you erase Game of Thrones? And I don't give you enough blow jobs. And they were just staring at us. The whole congregation was staring at us.

The rehearsal, but then we got them on ours. You were so scared that we were going to break Judaism that in the rehearsal, he goes like this. Can you just, I'm going to just slip in a monologue. Just like a poignant monologue. Just to make a serious. I would go, and at that moment, I really looked at my wife and I thought, I've got to really consider the impact

on this relationship in my past and how I'm... You wedged a moth story. Yeah, exactly funny thing. To try to justify, because it's just a silly sketch. That's all it was. It was a stupidest thing in the world. So stupid. And then I had a monologue.

I mean, it was whatever. Did it anyway? It did not. Well, sort of about the rabbi loved it. No, I think it did great. The rabbi came back. I didn't. I think it did okay.

He goes, my wife and I argued like this. He just came running. The head rabbi came running after us and was like, this is, yeah, it was very nice. And then a friend of ours who turned out to be our producer and editor and director. He goes, I want to do a short film of this. Oh. And we, It was called DVR, and so we shot that.

Which is watching Game of Thrones. And then we started getting in, so only because of him, he started submitting it into festivals, and we started winning and getting into these festivals. Okay, let's not be so sad. We did. We got into Palm Springs film festival. It's ridiculous. It's not a con.

It was great. It was fine. And they were the heaviest most overproduced shorts, like people coming all over the world. Right. You know, and they're very serious. And then our stupid little thing of DVR. like a girl dying of anorexia and like someone else and suicide and then ours and then like and but we were like a darling of I think I think we were of Palm not is it Palm Springs

because the people that were running you were like oh god that's the silly little one yeah right yeah relief that we didn't take ourselves seriously so anyway and then then a friend of ours I was in a writer I was in a writer's group he's there as an actor and they were like we want to do this like we want to produce this right right Can you write? And then he kind of said it was like an insult slash compliment. He's like, you're best with like eight minute things.

Like, let's just keep it eight minutes. Let's keep him. He was right though. And I remember I was like, I'm Aaron Brockovich. I can write a half hour and he's like, you know, eight minutes. You don't want us anymore? Nobody can take us longer than eight and a half minutes. Don't you think?

I think, yeah. I think, yeah, because it's really funny. But there is a, there's some realism to the marital tension. So then you got to, you got to, you got to, you got to, it's if you were at a cocktail party, you would turn and go talk to someone else. And then come back. Right. That's exactly. I love such an apt analogy. It's like you just turn and get your Virgin Cape Codder and then come back. Most of it's based on real arguments.

I don't know. It's like pages from my diary. Yeah. Really? Everything. Really? All of it. I have an imagination, but a lot of stuff is, yeah, pretty real. The delivery guy? I mean, not the delivery. I mean, we've had, not the delivery guy. Did you have crushes on people like Amazon drivers or something? No. Yeah.

No. Just the entire fire department. I think that she used that as a tool. She used that as a literary. Can I start a fire in the kitchen? Just the Giscawanga guys. No. We had one guy come to the house and work on something, on some shelves or something.

And I was on the road. And my wife was like, I got a text from the shelf guy. He was at a bar. Oh, my God. I'm like, yeah, how about we don't respond to that guy? Oh, my God. You think he's hitting on me? I'm like, yeah.

I think he's hitting on you. I would say, yeah. The shelf guy. And it's in her phone as shelf guy. But he said, Barney's beanery being like, want to shoot some pool? Yeah. Come by and show. Good for your wife.

Good for your wife. Yeah, good for her. Good for her. I like that. Yeah, it's great. She told you. That's great. I don't think you would have told me.

I had a, I had a, this is a cool story. I had Harold Ramis, I had a tiny couple, a scene, even, analyzed that. And Harold Ramis was the, um, analyzed that. And Harold Ramis was the, um, um, director and so cool and it's a wonderful day great with deniro like perfect i get a call from him like a couple months after that after it came out and he said i have a great idea for a tv show and i want you to host it i was like holy shit okay this can be great uh it's called pimp my wife and we go in and we give the wife a makeover and we like help her out like

jazz everything up and refresh everything. And then we put her in a bar setting. And the husband has to watch from the monitors and see how his, how the wife is a valid sexual being wanted by the world. That's a disaster. What happened? That's a disaster. It went nowhere.

Yeah, no way. I never heard from him again. One conversation. I'm like running out of here to watch it. That's amazing. It would be pretty good. I think that's kind of genius. I know.

And they're a little bit hot. Because you always said, if we're going to have a threesome, I'll stay in the closet. Which feels a little strange in a way, because you're like, why are you such a pussy? You don't want to be there? Who's the other? Is it a male or a female? He'd allow me with a woman. Right. We first started going out, she would talk about threesomes because her act was really racy.

Right. And she's a very, you know, you talk a pretty big game. And then when we started going out, I was like, so what about that threesome thing? I know. I was like, I'll shampoo your hair. Like, really, I'm just like this prude being like, no, shampoo. How do we go about doing it? Like, we're both sober.

Yeah, it's going to be awkward. Yeah, I mean, you can't really do anything like that without having some wine or something. No, you got to be drunk. Yeah, well, yeah, that could happen. Do you have enough bread for another person for sure? No, this is amazing, by the way. I don't think that's going to. You know his thing is bread.

No, I don't know. I have a thing in my act where I'm like, if you had to choose between like never having sex with me again and giving up. He didn't even let me finish. Oh, yeah, man. He literally turns into, like, Jack Nicholson and a few good man, like, don't ask me questions. You don't want the answer to. Yeah, literally. I mean, this is good.

Well, I really want to know. Because, like I said, this one is frozen, so it's going to be, it's good. It should be fresh. It'll cut up now. Listen, I've been seeing your, this. Yeah, we've followed. Bread on an Instagram. I've been seeing this over the months.

All right, good. I'm very excited. All right. To get my hands on it. I'm telling you. Yeah, no, no, this is a national treasure. Well, let me know how you like it. And don't try and save it for Thanksgiving.

It won't make it. Yeah, no, it's tonight. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, this is exciting. Just eat it like an apple. Oh, no, he will. He's going to scamper away.

Who cooks at home? Um, tender greens. Yeah. I cook. He cooks. You do? I cook. I don't really.

I don't enjoy it. No, you don't like cooking. I bake. You do? I bake. I like to bake. Oh, this is your banana bread. Yes.

Or for your daughter or your wife. It's for you. Oh, this is very good. No, they're not going to get it. Okay. Oh, okay. You're late at night. Yeah.

So you like to bake? What else do you bake? A lot of muffins. Yeah. Pumpkin muffins, banana bread, a chocolate. I just, like, baked a cake for the first time. Oh, yeah? Used to bake, like, poppy seed cake, and that would always be, like, her thing.

So our daughter would be like, you never bake me a cake. Oh. And I was like, oh my. Nine. Nine. And then she was like, literally, let's set aside a day. And you could bake me. And I was like, okay.

Okay. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it was like a milestone, you know. How to come out? It wasn't that good. No, it was pretty dry. It was so rude. He's so rude.

He always be like, it's dry. Well, if he doesn't say it, he's going to have to eat dry cake the rest of his life. It was your first kind of foray into the cake, but my muffins are delicious. Your muffins are very good. She's very good at muffin and banana bread. She's very good at that. It's not sustenance, but he'll, the only annoying, really truly annoying thing is I literally put on our, I don't know if this, if you do this, your marriage, it kind of saved us, the shared apple cow, where I'll be like, Larry buys the salmon,

cooks the salmon, and then there's this alert, second alert to like do it. Yeah, so I don't have to literally say it to him. Oh, you know, my wife, she barely knows how to make a call with the phone. Oh, really? Yeah. That's kind of great. Like, she's all handwritten calendars with a quill pen. Oh, she's sending a home in kitchen.

There's no way, like I could. So she's not really on social media. No. Instagram only. I love that. Yeah. But you've been married for a longer time than us. So you've...

What are you? 10? 13. 13? Yeah. With a nine-year-old. I'm getting a really respectful vibe. Yeah.

Yeah. You've really made it. Oh, I thought you meant me towards you. I always feel that way. You wear a suits. No, you obviously have a good marriage. I do feel that. You've got a good marriage.

You know, you're... I think I've an excellent marriage. Yeah. You've successfully raised your children. Yeah. You've stayed together. It's been, how many years? 21.

Okay. Well, that's, okay. 21. Okay. That's significant and it's like... You think I'm done? You might be. No, I think you're the new Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.

I think that's amazing, but I think you should do the show. I think she'd be the darling of this series, your wife. Of what? Pimp my wife? Oh, I'll pimp my wife. No, she's not going to do that. She would never do that. I'm not going to, no, she would love it.

Of course, I don't, yeah. She obviously threw out. I'm not trying to start trouble. She was like... I'm just saying she put on makeup and like something was going on there a little bit. Take a tiny bit. With the carpentry dude?

Yeah. Oh, please. Or maybe she threw out a joke. Oh, get out of. You know, this is why I don't trust any of these. Any person that comes to your home to do anything. And with the top of the list is probably personal trainer. Oh, God.

Like, there's no way. You're right. We have a no personal trainer of the opposite sex. Oh, they're the horniest people on the finish. Yeah, come on. They're like, let's hike into the mountains and then we'll get lost and have to fend our way back. No, she went to see a healer on our honeymoon. A healer, a male healer.

The post-ran shaman. He was a shaman. The post-ranned shaman. Which isn't shaman. Totally hitting on her. He's like a weekend. You know what he did? He took a deer skin and laid it over her.

Nether regions. Yeah, her nether reasons. I was closed. And then said, you can keep this for later. It's like a very healing. He goes, I've never given anyone my deerskin, but I'm going to give this to you. They put it over your crotch? Yeah.

On our honeymoon. And then he goes. but if you want to, you can mail it back to me. What? Yeah. I mean, this guy, he just, you know, it's so funny. You just triggered a memory on our honeymoon. Oh.

We were in Mexico at this, like, eco resort, and they had a Temescal, which is one of those, like, igloo things that they fill with, they fill with wood, and they create a fire, and you go in there, it's like a sweat lodge. And there was that, they killed a bunch of people in, like, Arizona doing this, right? Right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And we had this guy who was like the shaman of the resort and he was hitting on my wife. And he was like, I just get these, I get these impressions from people. And he turned to me and he was like, I'm feeling humor from you. You like to make people laugh. I was like, oh, he's got some skills. And I go back to the room and I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a Comedy Central baseball hat. Oh, my God.

That is so, yeah, they're so sleazy. So sleazy. So sleazy. And we're in the Tamascaul. or in there sweating. And it's an endurance thing. Like you're supposed to just... Yeah.

You're sitting in the sand. It's a thousand degrees. There's like, you know, 20 people in there. And I'm like, I start having like an allergy attack. It's like, snod is coming out of my nose. And I go to, I go to like wipe it off. And now I got sand face from having my sand and I'm just like, what am I doing? Like there's nothing stopping me from leaving this.

Why do I have to get through this? Like the shaman said. Oh my gosh. And I just start crawling out. because it's very low. So you have to crawl. I crawled around the fire. And my wife is sitting there, Indian style.

And she sees me crawling past her. And she's like, what about, wait, the shaman said we have to stay. I'm like, I'll see you at the pool. That was really bold. Oh, there's no way. They really want, that's hysterical. They really want the woman. And then he had his opportunity.

No, he said to me also in our session, he goes, I just want you to know, I don't know why, but I'm feeling like you're going to Broadway. acting and writing like that specific and I was like say that again I'm gonna be Wendy Wasserstein he's like I just feel Broadway

and he said something else really like amazing and then we would see him and Larry was so pissed up he's like there's your shaman go fuck your shaman yeah surprise

oh yeah no we're a huge way and then I found weird porn on your computer so yeah that was fun oh you did yeah on the honeymoon it was a weird porn it was a weird honeymoon it's a weird honeymoon

I mean I just remember I was like I was looking up a hike and I see oh like Like, porn. Yeah. I mean,

oh, surprise, surprise. I was like, you don't need that anymore. On a guy's computer,

she found porn. I know. I was like, shocking. No, but literally, I was like, this is how

disorganized he is. He couldn't even put it into a folder so I wouldn't see it. It's like just on his desktop. I wasn't hiding it. It's so old school. It's no old school to like collect it too.

Yeah, he was like, I don't know what you do, but like, I was like, I mean, we never, we're not that couple of watch porn together.

It's like catching his DVD collection. Yeah, yeah, totally. It was like Bang Brothers, but in the DVD or whatever. I have like one reference. My husband watches porn. Oh, my God. Horrors. So who's going to make Thanksgiving dinner?

How's that run? A friend of ours. Oh, you go this over. Thank God we got the advice. Listen, I was raised. I was raised. I was, first of all, when I think of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I think a big Catholic.

get, you know, Irish Catholic get-togethers, and it's depressing. I get very depressed around the holidays. You do? A lot of stress. Mostly Christmas. You're okay. A lot of stress. So as I've gotten older, I like to simplify.

Your body language is not very good right now. Thank you. Because I'm crossing my arms. I'm trying to my arms. And he's hugging himself. And then I worked in the food industry for a long time. So I served Thanksgiving. I was a private waiter on Thanksgiving.

So now that I'm not doing any of that, I like to chill. We go to his brothers. We go to his brothers. an Echo Park and it's lovely. And lovely. They do all the cooking. Or it's Jones on third. Clean a little.

Yeah. But I just, you know. What are you guys doing? I host. Oh. We host. I cook. Good for you.

And you probably really enjoy it. And it's pretty. I do. Yeah. My whole, last night I started making the list of all the things I need and what to get. And yeah, I get into it. You were having fun. You were getting into it.

Yeah. Are you thinking about the rub? The rub. I'm thinking about the dry brine. Yeah. Yeah. So do you do all of it? I'm kind of panicking because there is a turkey shortage.

Yes. And I pre-ordered it. And then they want me to pick it up two days earlier than it normally was. I'm like, what am I going to do with this turkey for two days before? And empty your fridge out? Yeah, right. And will it keep? Like, we'll just keep in the fridge that long?

I don't know. That's a little unnerving. I'm a little panicky. Do you do the thing that everyone does? I don't know why this is like a du jour. But people like do potluck? Like, are you those people who are like, Everybody brings something?

So they're catering your Thanksgiving. I get annoyed. I get kind of annoyed. Like when someone's like, we brought sweet potatoes. Right. I'm like, I made sweet potatoes. You're like a fern or a phycus or something like Pellegrino? Yeah.

Oh, so you're put off a little bit. Yeah, a little bit. It's a nice group though. It's like it's a couple comedians and some friends and like all our family's East Coast. It's a manageable number. Yeah. Yeah. People fly in for this.

My parents will fly in. intermittently before the choir they would come out but they're not they'll probably come next year so no direct family okay so on this one which is pretty cash that's pretty good yeah it'll be great it'll be good yeah the whole key is to really get everything done and then just get hammered oh yeah i have some big i got some big magnums of wine that are I've been waiting because we didn't have Thanksgiving last year so they've been around Yes. And I'm just going to...

How wonderful. Yeah. It's a time to celebrate. We're going to rub little CBD lotion on our elbows because that's what we can do. Just a little bit on our cuticles, a little c. He just said to me, I don't know I'm jumping. I'm doing weed gummies. And I'm like, that's a slip.

Yeah. I'm not doing weed gummies. He wanted to do weed gummies. It's one of his sponsors. Yeah. Just joking. I was listening to your show and I was... I didn't know that was a sponsor?

I was to see. I always listen to your podcast. I was listening to Bill. It's a new one. It's a new one. You're one with Billy Gardell. Yeah, who's in your thing. He's my old buddy,

Oh, he's so great. But my friend too now. Okay, he's your friend too now. We actually were arguing outside about who knew you better. Oh, who knew me? Oh, really? Yeah, we were arguing.

But then I was like, clearly, you. Okay. Anyway, I heard the CBD commercial and I went, I'd like to get some of those gummies. Yeah, I don't know. The dad grass. Yeah, I want some of that.

It's kind of in between. It's like if you don't want to get really high. Exactly. But you want a little something. You could just meditate. I want to try to find it to do that and be sober at the same time. It's kind of hard to do that. Yeah.

They really, it's like a clove almost. It's like, it gives you like, you stand in the yard and smoke and you're like, I'm cool again. This is totally dead. I love clothes cigarettes. I miss the act of have just, I don't know smoking per se, but just that act would be, and they'd be like, and then my bitchy friends in Penn would be like here. Like, I miss that. I was wondering the other night if smoking, if we're getting so far from people smoking in everyday life, like the numbers have gone down so much, will smoke and continue to be cool on film?

Oh, that's interesting. No. I don't think it already looks strange. Right? It looks strange when people light up for me. It is. It is a weird thing. It's like when they do a VCR TV.

Yeah. Then again, during quarantine, seeing group scenes in movies, I was kind of like, yeah. Like, hey, everybody, back off. There's a lot of people in this room. I know. But Tom's totally right about that. Like when we see that,

like when Carrie's lighting up in sex in the city, I'm like, yeah, it almost seems silly now. It seems silly. It dates you. It dates you. Yeah. Alcohol and a rocks glass, still sexy.

That's always sexy. Coffee still makes me want it. Triggering. Triggering. Triggering in a good way. Sank is triggering. Vaping is not sexy. Vaping is so not sexy.

They're still don't even understand. They actually. in a huge stream of... And they're weird paraphernalia and you look like a clown? Like their head explodes. Are you going to like set a dove on fire? Like what is happening?

Yeah, that'll never be cool. That's never going to be cool. Never be cool. My daughter said that they are all into the kids that do it. They take the disposable ones. They're not even into the jewels and stuff. It's like these disposable vape things.

They all do those. And hardly anyone smokes cigarettes. I think that the cigarettes are probably a little more healthy than those things. Really? Yeah, I do. I think those things are dangerous. Yeah, the popcorn lung and all that stuff. Yeah.

Putting hot oil vapor into your lungs. It might be more toxic. Well, it's what ignites it. They can't have figured that out yet. Yeah. How to actually get it going and make it safe, the steam safe. Right. Right.

I do like a cigar, a nice cigar once in a while. That's nice. You know? Yeah. Like, it's very offensive and everyone wants to be away from you. Yeah. I use cigars to get off cigarettes. I almost, I almost, yeah.

I almost left him when he did a talkback after a play he did, streamers. Uh-huh. And he has a cigar in a talkback. It was an unlit. Cigar. And I literally wanted to die. No, no, I wanted. And even my brother, who's the nicest guy, like, my brother is the least judgment.

He's like, yeah, it was pretty annoying. I totally get it. I get both sides of that. I can totally get both sides. I mean, I was like, what's going through his brain? I mean, I don't know. My father gave it. me a cigar and he was like, have you smoked the cigar I gave you? I was like, no. And I was on

the road and it's like, oh, it's in my bag. And I took it out and I didn't have time to smoke it. But I just walked around all day with it. Yeah. But you walked around. It wasn't like, well, here's a thing about my character in this David Ray play. I was a stranger in a strange town. It's like if people thought it was a douche, I wasn't going to hear it. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It was a bottom. Which play was streamers? Streamers was the play about Vietnam. He wrote three Vietnam plays. This one was directed by Mike Nichols done in 75, and it was about, I mean,

it's most successful, one of the most successful plays. It won, almost won the Pulitzer. And you did the revival in like 2000. I did the revival at the roundabout, yeah. Oh, wow. And as soon as he got, because I think secretly, wow.

Both of us, because you're talking about being needy, like, we're both afraid the other one's going to leave the other one if you get really successful. If you get really big? Yeah, if you get really, so I get the call that he has it.

I'm on the 10 and I'm Googling streamers. If women are in it. Yeah, she's like, do you have any sex scenes? risking my life to see if other women, women characters. Because you know I was going to be in New York for like six months. And I'm like he's going to leave me for like, you know, Brittany.

I was like, it's a barracks. And I was like, woo-hoo, everyone at the Edendale grill tonight. Like Larry's gone. You turned into an artist. You're like, well, I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. So I'm like, you're doing the work.

Oh, man. What a cool thing though to do something at the roundabout. Like that was really something. That's a special place. Yeah. And I had to go to L.A. to get it. You know what I mean?

Wow. Not when I lived in New York. Of course, I couldn't get into the roundabout at all. I saw John C. Riley. True West. True West. Yeah. Yeah, that was amazing.

I saw that too. Yeah. Oh, you did. I forget who was playing who. They switched all the time. Yeah. But that was extraordinary. It really was.

I was just thinking, I'm reading the Mike Nichols biography, which is amazing. I don't know if you've read it. No. They were talking about the Seagull and, like, the film seemer hopping in, which I didn't love. To be honest, but I do remember when it was the right fit. Like, I feel like with Milton Ralph and playing Death of a Salesman, he was, like, too young to play.

Right, right, right. This is terrible casting. Right. You know what he was so good? And I just saw Mr. Ripley, the town of Mr. I want to see that again. They're all so good. They're all so young and so, like, they're all just.

Beautiful. Yeah. And he really was a sensation. Yeah. His energy when he came in. Yeah. Wow. he was just filled with emotion and he was funny and he's extraordinary just in everyday life or on stage

um in everyday life he was kind of that way too but i thought what he brought to that film was unique yeah um his energy when he enters the film that just changes the whole when it's the right because he brings the air of suspicion in right he's the first guy that calls him on it you know he's like what's all with you dude and he's yeah what's up with you why are you wearing a clothes. What's going on with that? How are you doing? It's bullshit.

It's a really good bullshit. It's a really good invitation. Yeah, he does a good invitation. Yeah, I used to do it too Phil. I used to do it too Phil. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he left him a voicemail that my my mother makes Larry do every

fucking Thanksgiving. He's like, please, please do the Philipsy Moffman voicemail. Oh, really? Yeah. Phil was a friend of mine. Literally, it's like why I stay married to him because he does a great Philipsymoffman.

And then we worked together once and when he directed me in a play and we hated each other. For real? Oh, I couldn't stand him. Why? He's a horrible director. This is terrible.

I mean, I can't defend himself. He's dead. It's okay. He put me down and pushed me, in front of me. He's like, oh, you're going to do that? Is that what you're going to do? Are you going to, like, hold your coffee cup like that, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I was like, dude, I'm playing a detective. Like, what do you want me to do? Not hold the coffee cup? Was it one of those things like if I get him in this, like a Hitchcockian? He liked to do that. You like to push actors. Yeah. He'd make fun of you.

upset them and he would question your choices and I was like, I don't like this at all. I mean, he was a tortured guy probably. That's how he approached his process. Right. But he would always go, so stupid, why am I doing that as a stupid job? He would write stuff over scripts

and he would beat himself up. And I don't think he really ever enjoyed himself. I just think he beat himself up all the time to this state where he could get to these incredible levels of performance. But I think they were all, it was all shrouded in negativity. And once I kind of got a glimpse of that

with him directing me, I was like, I will never work with this guy ever again. And I love them. I mean, I really loved him as a person. And I was like, get me out of here. Yeah. And that one day when you were like, you're like, fuck, you just kind of left. Like you were angry and he knew you were angry. Like it turned. Right.

He could tell. He was doing these impossible note sessions where he would be like, all right. And Larry, I don't know what you're doing. I mean, I gave you a note. You were doing it last week and then you stopped it. Like, I don't know what you're going to do. But anyway. But he would imitate you and that mean.

ways. Yeah, and he'd make fun of me. He'd make fun of me. I was like, listen, dude, this is, I'm trying to be like a good actor. Yeah. And respectful of our relationship and just, you know, and I'm like, listen, this is a simple character. It's, I'm playing a detective in Georgia.

And Anna Pacquine is playing the serial killer. Right. And I'm putting out the pictures. This is a really simple scene. I don't understand why you're having such a big deal with, like, I can play a cop. Right. But he had this thing. And I can't even describe what it was.

But we knew it was like oil and water with us. We could just, it was like, wow. And I don't know whether it was competitiveness or I wasn't competitive with him. I was like, I was really open to kind of learning. But he just had this way of needling. And it bugged the hell of it. Would he do it to everybody? He did it to everybody.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But then he apologized. No, but he's trying to get to this message he left because I kept it for a number of She kept it for 20 years. I didn't keep it for 20 years, but I kept it was on my answering machine. Yeah. And I got home because I was pretty pissed at him, and I hit the machine, and he would go, hey. He's doing a cookie.

And he goes, hey, it's Phil. And he goes, hey, Larry. Listen, I know you left today and you're a little, I don't know, pissed off or something. And he goes, sorry, I'm eating peanut butter cracker. Is that adorable? And then he goes, I just, you know, I want. this to be really fucking great and you're great

and I want this whole night to be great and I just want that leave me alone. Be nicer. Be nicer. Why you leave me a message? Oh God. Yeah, I'll get there on my own.

I can do it. So I saw Larry in this play but I didn't remember him and I went because of Phil because I had this crush off. Yeah, she saw this before you met. Yeah, it was called Gloria Living. It was 2001 and she saw that production Oh, and Phil was also in it.

No, no, Phil directed it. He just directed it. But I hope we'd maybe get a glimpse. Right, to see the director and his ass dot. He was there every night. No, he was there every night, and he wished he could keep directing. He was so angry that equity made him stop directing. Why?

Because you can't give notes after opening night. Oh, it's over, right? I wish everyone did. He was like, I can't believe I have to stop giving notes. That's great. You're there with a peanut butter cracker. too bad for you. That's hilarious.

One night, our last preview, he walked out. He left the theater. He's tortured. To see the director leave the building, you're like, what kind of a douchebag are you, man? Stay there and take it. So you saw that, and then when you guys hook up and you mentioned that you saw it, and he's... I think we found out. We also think we were on the same M-86 cross-down bus when I was going to high school.

He was going to his, like, Gracie's catering job. Oh, really? And he thinks I was like, you must say next to him. I was like 16 and grossed out by him. Yeah. I was like, hey, hey little girl. Yeah, and I was like, in about 10 years, you're going to meet me.

My prince is going to be a balding middle-aged character actor, a little Irish show voting. And I'm going to try and convince you I was in a play that you saw. Yeah. And you're going to be in the director. You don't really want to be with the director, but you're really going to marry me. Right.

And I think then when I, yeah, so we, But I'll imitate him, so it'll be cool. Exactly. I got to laugh. We didn't hang out. I almost ran you over once in L.A. There was a time when I was, like, going down Santa Monica's a rainstorm, and I kind of knew you. She almost killed me.

And then I almost ran them over. And then we looked at each other. It was really weird. Really? Well, we were going to the same reading night. It was raining, and I turned around, I'm on a crosswalk, and you didn't stop. And she almost killed me. I grew up in New York City.

I didn't drive. And so we're like, look at each other. That's supposed to stop for people. Yeah. I was like, you stop for me. And I think my guardian angel jumped out and stopped the car. They were like, wait, they're supposed to get married to have a kid. Right.

That kid has yet. No, they're supposed to make a digital web series that two people are going to watch. Yes, and we're going to be on Tom Papa's broadcast. Right. I know. That's one of the biggest things we've ever done. 16 years. So, yeah, we did.

But then I had this one woman show, which did okay. And then I followed it up with Strenberg's Miss Julie in the middle of Hollywood, which I was like, good marketing skills. And then my director's like, Larry Clark's a great actor. He should be your Jean. And I did Jean with her. That's how we started dating. In 2006?

Yeah. And we did Miss Julie in the middle of Hollywood. Where he tells me to kill myself at the end of a ring. Why? Why would we do that play? Right. And by the way, he kept being like this. I don't know if I can do it fielding. I'm on hold at the Geffen for all my sons.

I don't think I can do it. Like, he kept saying that. And I'm a little... I said you need an understudy because I easily get something. But I'm a little bit psychic, and I was like, you're not going to get it. Like, we're supposed to do my studio together. I'm going to put the whammy on you and be sure you don't get it. Yeah.

I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Yeah, I didn't get it. You didn't get it, yeah. So then we did. But it was a depressing play, and we did it. And that's where we started going out. Yeah.

That's cool. Well, that's what kids in Hollywood want, those kind of plays. Yeah, Miss Jewel. I really had my finger on the pulse. Strimberg. Hot. And, like, all our friends, you know when your friends, like, kind of have to come. Yes.

those events where they're like, so we're coming Friday night, you know, and you know they don't want to, and it's so awkward. There's nothing worse than a bad play. The hostage situation. I think we were okay. I mean, I think we got better as if we went along. Yeah.

I think we entertained people. He got one of the best reviews of his life from the Toluca Times. No, really? It was like, I can't find it anymore. I've done a search on it. Was it at that theater there on? On Lillian. Lillian?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you? miss doing plays?

I do. Yeah. Do you do theater? I did when I was in school. Mm-hmm. And I just did everything. You did? That was my idea.

You sing? No. Okay. No. Me neither. The only musical I auditioned for was Little Shop of Hars. Oh. And the director, I was, you know, I was the lead in all of the plays from when I showed up

as a freshman. I was like, just loved it and into it. And then I walked into audition for Little Shop of Horrors. And he's like, um, how about, being the puppeteer inside the plant. I'm like, really? I want to be Seymour. And he's like, no.

You can't sing. I'm like, yeah, you're right. I'll go inside the plant. So I would just, I just sat in there. Because he wanted to be on stage. I just did the puppet. Yeah. Humble.

Humble work. But I do miss. I really do miss. And it's been, you know, almost 30 years now of not doing a play. Yeah. But that thing of like being with everybody. dream of your agent's going to be like, this is weird, but the Nile A Butte has something I think you'd be perfect for? Would that be a dream?

Yeah. You know, when you just said the roundabout, it's like, oh. I know. I have no sights on it. I haven't been thinking about trying to do any of that. But when you hear it, you're like, oh, yeah, that's what you're supposed to be doing. I know, I got so jaded, though, doing it. Yeah.

Eight shows a week and you do it for a couple of months. And by the end, you're like, get me the hell out of here. We used to say a joke. We go, what's the crowd look like out there? there and they go, oh, round about 80. Oh, yeah. Everybody's got strollers and wheelchairs, and you hear the hearing hates going off. My 98-year-old grandmother saw him twice because it was like dicks everywhere in the locker

room and she's like a man eater. Oh, really? She came in the front row because she had the hearing thing. Oh, good for her. I know, she loved it. But like the dream of doing the Broadway stage and being discovered and all that stuff, just, I don't even know, to me, it just kind of, I got that out of my system.

I was like, you know, it's like, you really miss, you, it's your favorite thing in the world. Well, I like performing on the stage, but, you know, I don't miss New York and that grind. Right, right. If you can come in now as somewhat, and you just get the role and. I could do that.

That was the plan. That was the plan. You know, to become famous out here and then get offered roles on Broadway. You know, that hasn't exactly happened. Well, not yet, maybe. Oh, you know, it's coming. Well, what do you think abundantly? Okay, yes, it's happening.

I would love to do that, but I've gotten lazy in a way. Like, I want, you know, you make, you do a movie and then it's done and it kind of lives, your performance kind of lives up there. Forever. Just press the button and watch that. But you do better when you're busy and in a play. It's true. You do better.

I was raised on the stage. I love the stage. You're better when you're, I'm a decent film actor. I think I'm a much better stage actor. I completely agree. You do? Yeah, I do. I am.

No, you're great on film, but I think. that like your Larry Clark is meant to be on the same. That's the nicest thing I've said. You're not supposed to be close to this big Irish face on a screen. That's what you and Billy Gartell were talking about when he did yours. He's like, look at these big heads just in the laptop. Well, Billy's like, big head. Big heads are good.

He's always saying that. I know. And then you have Kekner come in. Another giant person. Oh, that's right. Another giant person. I know. And Eric Edelstein would like tons of like giant people.

I know. And I was like this little like garden gnome. Peter's gardener. And I was like, I'm, thank you for, I'm sorry to breathe. And yet tougher than all of them. Right. I try. I try. Everyone was afraid of you. I think they were. Yeah. You're like a coiled snake.

When you said in the one video that it's been eight months, we haven't done it in eight months, we have to do it. Yeah. Is eight months a true thing? Oh, yeah. For real? We went. We've gone, I mean, we've gone a year. You have? Well, no. I mean, we've fooled around. We've, we've fooled around. We've. We fooled around. Listen, we had to go into couples therapy during quarantine.

And the couple's therapist goes, I'm not going to lie, that's a long time. No. You know in their word, it's like a drug dealer being like, you got to slow down. It's really kind of jarring when someone that probably should, like, you know they're rattled by it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It hasn't, listen, you've got a kind of a skewed, skewed. I think couples need to hear this. First of all, hurry, do.

That's why I ask. People feel, people feel shame about it. I think it's important. Shame about what? Listen, because... You don't have to feel embarrassed or insecure. Like, we've always been attracted to each other if you have to. God Almighty.

I don't know why you guys aren't doing it every day. But, you know, having a nine-year-old trying to get into the... It sleeps in our bed every night. She comes... But that wasn't... That's not when we had the hiatus. Can I talk for a second? That was a hiatus.

He had this Irish, I feel like Madonna-hor thing. When I was pregnant, Larry was very put-off. She did not like... You were too racy. Like, he was not into having sex with a pregnant. No. Like it scared the shit out of him. It scared me.

Right. And guess what? You're hornyest. No, you were sacred. I looked at her as a sacred being. Which is disgusting. And I did not want to ravish her with my child inside her. Stop acting like you're James Franco.

I'm sorry. Throw me into a wall. A lot of guys are really into that. And some guys aren't. You don't know what guy you are. But like my boobs are bigger. It's like I'm a goddess. I'm a goddess.

They were huge. They were huge. Your whole body morphed. Yeah. Anyway, so that's for him, it was like this in a schematic kind of frame. Uh-huh. And then it was like, you have the kid and then we just, like, we know, like, our connection is like, this is going to sound so. But it's like this more creative, spiritual one.

Like, we weren't always the couple to like, had sex. Like, we've had sex. Like, we've had. That wasn't the main thing. Yes. But we had it. So it's like for us, that wasn't crazy to us if we went a long time. Right, right.

But then we would have. This is, it's been challenging. since day one since the birth, I think, where your couple, your coupling. But I was angry about the pregnancy. I know you were angry about that. We've talked to many couples therapists about it. I literally go to Atlantic City and someone can fuck the baby out of me. Like, I don't need you.

Where you change, your whole idea of being together changes from this carefree couple into being a business of keeping this kid alive, this little baby alive. But that's your kind of anxiety. Well, I was. I got extremely anxious. I was talking about that in my act right now about how, because my kids are older now. We're kind of coming out of that. There was 16 and 19. So I'm going back to just being in charge of myself.

And that's not, I wasn't, that wasn't the best version of me. Right. I was a great version of taking care of the kid. And I have a joke about when you bring the baby home, you're on suicide watch immediately. Like immediately, like immediately. They're like putting their tongue in the socket and gargling Clorox run to the sink and you've got to step up your game immediately. You do. You do.

I remember the first night where we were in the hospital after she was born and all of a sudden, the kids going, and I'm like, what the hell's going on? And we're like, get the nurse, get the nurse. And we go, her kid's choking. And she gets, oh, and she flipped her over and she just went. And then the kid, burped. No, no, threw up. The fluid was still in her lungs, the embryonic fluid.

And I was like, what the hell was that? And she goes, oh, we didn't tell you about that? You got to, you know, watch the, there's fluid in the lungs. I'm like, okay, well, I'm glad we were in the hospital. They don't tell you any of that. I just would have been staring at her at home calling 911. But then, but guess what? He went home every night to take care of the cats when we were in the hospital.

It's like, I just think Adrian Larry. I just want to check on Adrian Larry. And so. Well, it's five minutes down the road from Cedars. I mean, why am I going to sleep on a cut? The most terrifying part is when they just after a day or two, they just hand you the kid and they're like, you've got to go now. And it's like, wait.

How about a brochure? How about it? Or just someone to come home for the night. Yeah. And the kid wasn't, you know, jumping on your nils. Simple correctly. You were having a hard time. Yeah, that was a difficult thing. Actually, yeah, it was a difficult thing.

And so we were like, wait a second. What were they called us home and we can't feed it? Latching. Latching. Yeah, she wasn't latching. But even like the car seat that's waiting for the kid in the car. Like I'll never forget you in the parking lot being like I'm about to put. And it's like your life is about to change.

Oh, completely. No, I had to go out, I had to go to a special place to put the car the thing in because they made me so fearful that I didn't know how to put a car seat in. And you're like pulling it as hard as you can and strapping it in. And I did. And finally she's like, I don't. trust you, go send it to, and I had to go to a guy to put in my own car seat. We called the shelf guy.

The shelf guy, too. But my level of anxiety started from the moment she got pregnant. Oh, no. At the baby shower, three friends came out to me and they're like, listen, we talk to Larry. I think we're, I think he's going to be okay. Like, people perceive how anxious. At the baby shower, people are like, we talk to him.

It stopped. You know, it has a, I mean, last night, we gave her a shot for, she got her first COVID shot last night. And I was a wreck. I was a wreck. I was so nervous for her. She's nine years old. It's not stop. Yeah. I think it's a panic. But you feel like, so now Tom is like just, I just need to look after myself.

Well, it's, yeah. Well, because you can't, there's, yeah, you go back to that. And the, the consequences and the things that they're getting into now are so, so much greater. And you have less control. Yeah. So you have to kind of, I think it's, I think mentally I'm just kind of shifting. Like, I'm aware, like, I can't control someone who's across the. country in college.

It's, yeah, she's not, it doesn't matter. Yeah. It doesn't matter if it's a party school or not. That's true. That's true. It's just they're not there. And for you to worry about it doesn't make sense. So I try and, I try and channel my one, my aunt Josephine who had like six kids.

And she was like, I don't want to know anything. Right. I don't want to know anything. Well, you really, what you've done. Yeah. Is that you've done your job. You've created this, this thinking. being who has, and I'm always trying to tell my daughter this too.

Like, I'm trying to train you so that you can do this on your own. Yeah. Because I'm not going to be here. Right. So I'm trying to train you to make the right choice. Yeah. You've already done it. I mean, in a way, it's done.

Somewhat. You did great. Somewhat. Let's see what decisions they make. And it doesn't, and here's, sorry to burst your bubble on this one. It's not going to decrease your panic. Yeah. I'm just going to get worse.

I can't think about it too often. Yeah. I still think about it. Like, you know, we got into a random car accident. Yeah. Taking her to dance class a couple weeks ago. And then an 80-year-old man who was confused just happened to veer over and hit the car right after they got out.

And that was the only car hit on 3rd Street. Right. And we're like, thank God that didn't happen 30 seconds before. Yeah, right. Oh, my God. That kind of stuff, it just drives me crazy. No, it does drive you crazy. Are you glad you had girls?

Yes. Yeah. That's too. That's why we didn't have another. So sweet. The rhythm of the house was so nice. It was like, yeah, there wasn't mud and sticks and. Yeah.

And you know, right. And we seem like the same energy level. Like, yeah. I wasn't like having to go play football in the yard and go fishing 20. It was like, give her a cotton ball and she'll just paint it for the day. And I'll read. Right. Let's build a yurt.

I really loved it. And put some ribbons. Yeah. I wasn't into it at first. I didn't know how to raise a girl. Yeah, you were kind of an asshole. Did you not have sisters? I had one sister, but I didn't know how I would contribute.

I didn't know how, but it turns out it was the best possible. It's the best. I'm so glad I had a girl. You're an average husband, they're an excellent dad. Oh, that's good. That's kind of sweet. I think I went on Karen Rontowski. It's like, you know, she's a psychic.

Yeah. And I think she said that about you too. Oh, really? I was like, even Karen's call. it. Like, yeah, I was like, she's right. She's right. A psychic said that? Yes. Okay. She's like, he has your back to you sometimes, but to your daughter, he's facing her.

That was a card. You pulled that card. No, no, Karen knows. Karen knows. No, she knows. Okay, Karen. Yeah, yeah. The psychic, yeah. They're good at telling you what you want to hear. I did, like, a few sex because I'm like, I've done like 20 years of therapy, nine, 12-step program. It's like, why not a psychic? Why not? I did the weekend shaman that raped me, me just joking. It was like a gentle.

thing. But the problem was I also even went to Kira and like she's like my friend though too and I was like are you like a codependent psychic like you don't want to tell me that like because I remember she's like you and Larry you're going to have something really intense in like a couple years. Who's this? Kira. Kira. Chiltovich. Oh she's a psychic? Yeah.

Wait a minute. Yeah. No. Yeah? She's a Russian. I know she's Russian. The Russian third eye. She doesn't lead with it.

She doesn't lead with it. but like and she and Karen had a podcast together called like the psychic podcast. Wait a minute. No, no, you should know that. I should totally. She's one of my dearest friends and we've been in Russian backhouses together. I saw that episode. We saw that episode.

We love that. Yeah, I love her to death. She just did my birthday show on the Sirius XM show. Here's one. Yeah, she's a good friend. She says she's a psychic or I mean she is a psychic? Um, she could. She is getting a call immediately.

I. Exactly. I was just like she's going to. I wonder if she knows I'm about to call. That's hilarious. She's not like on a kiosk and languish. Right. She's not going to.

She's like, I have the powers. I could put out of. Exactly. She has a, I could do it, but I'm not going to. It's like basically like I'm a therapist,

but I don't do it. Right. Kind of. Right. But she's, no, but I think some of the things she said, I was like,

hmm. Yeah, but she knows you. Yeah. She knows. She knows. So that's not psychic. I'm seeing a large white man. in your bed.

I'm seeing a corpulent, like, kind of addicted to bread and brouche and croissant. No, I mean, it was like, but both of them together, I listened to both of them, they talked about your movie that was coming out, how you're not. They did the forecasting of all your horrible money problems, although most indie movies.

They did. Don't plug it right now. That's not why we're talking about it. I'm not plugging it. Is it a good movie? It's very good. Yeah, it's a good movie. All right.

You don't have to get aggressive about it. I'm not a psychic. I don't know. What, you've got a problem? No, it's a good movie. What's it called? Three Days with Dad. About the death of his father.

Right. I based on death of my father. It's a comedy. Right. And Brian Denahe plays my dad. It's one of his last movies. Oh, that's perfect.

If not, his last movie. So perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I got Keckner. I got a lot of friends did favors and came in and did the movie. But they did for it, but they did say specific movie.

A lot of, the money fell through. right before I shot. So it became a real, I mean, huge stress. And we shot in our house as well. Right. Maybe the worst time in our marriage. Yeah. Yeah.

The reason why she went to the psychic and said, when is this going to stop? It's going to end. I was like, not going to go to like just, I was like, I was looking at my friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When is this shit?

No, I mean, ask Kara something. I'm going to. Yeah. But I do think she might be a little derailed by the, because we had a joke that she's like, maybe I should do a series about the codependent psychic. Mm-hmm. Like, because I, that's my idea. I was like, you can have it.

I gave her the idea for her sauna. Oh, you did? Yeah. It's great. Let's get sweat. Yeah. It's not, not very COVID-friendly, though. No, it's not.

Being in her two-by-four sauna. I love seeing you in a sauna. I love her so much. I really do. Yeah, me too. She's wonderful. But I guess a little less now because she didn't, because she was a psychic. I feel like, yeah, she has her, like, coven of like, which.

He knew that you weren't going to take it well. Yeah, maybe. I think that's why. I think that's why. I think that's why. Yeah. Yeah. No, she could, yeah.

You know, you and I were in The Informant together. Yes. And that movie almost broke up our marriage. The Informant did. You didn't break up our marriage. Why? Because you were in Springfield. Decatur.

Yeah. I was about to get married to her. They asked me for, you know, when they cleared the dates. That was my first kind of big movie. Me too. I had. And the dates thing was a huge thing. It was like, what do you mean I'm going to be there for a month and a half?

Exactly. In Decatur. I'm like, can I go home in between? Right. Because my scenes aren't every day by far. Right, right. You had a huge part. I mean, you were...

You're not used to being somewhere for like a month and a half. No, you had a great role in that. But with me, I only had two scenes playing Matt Damon's lawyer. Right. And I was like fifth lawyer. And I was so excited. It was his fifth lawyer. No, I was the last lawyer.

You came in chewing gum in like a Tommy Bahamas shirt. It was like the fifth lawyer. The last lawyer. The last lawyer. Yeah. You really got to put it down. Really? You're one of the greatest actors at dinner.

So why? Because you were away so much? The marriage? No, no. We were about to get married. It was the wedding conflict. Oh. Like, he missed our rehearsal dinner.

No, they asked to clear all the dates. I said, I have no problem. I could shoot this. Whenever. Soderberg movie, whenever. Just, I'm getting married on this one weekend. Right. And they went, oops.

Like, they called back. They do not care. Three weeks later. And they said, we need these two dates. Like, it was the 15th and the 16th. I said, are you guys kidding me? You're shooting a movie on the weekend? Yeah.

And they said, yeah. And it's in Decatur, Illinois. Oh. And I had to turn down the movie. Wow. But my parents were like, don't turn down the movie. Who gives a shit about the wedding? I flipped out.

I was like, you know many auditions I've been on? I finally book this thing. Finally. With this dream director that I've always... And I can't do it. Yeah. And my manager's like, yeah, the studio wants you to shoot your scene on Saturday, which was the courtroom scene.

You remember the court room? Yeah, where they flew us all back just to sit in a courtroom? Yeah. and stare at Matt Damon. Right. That's all that was. Who really didn't have much to do there either. No.

They could have shot that in any courtroom here, right? That's really true. But they flew all of us to the cater to do this. That's so crazy. And that's it. So I had to turn it down. And then, you know, Stephen actually called, anyway, they said, no, we'll make it work.

I'm not going to recast. It was crazy. Whoa. Yeah. And so he did? He said, so it was a big joke on set. When we shot that scene, he was like, here's Larry.

He's going to get married tomorrow. morning. Isn't that something? Look at that. And he's got to be in Santa Barbara in like 12 hours. Everyone's laughing at me. And I'm like, I'm super, I'm super stressed because I'm looking at weather patterns were in the middle of freaking nowhere.

Nowhere. It had to go into Springfield. Remember we flew into Springfield? Then you had to go to O'Hare. It was summer, so there was all these tornadoes touching down. Oh my God. And I was like, and I even asked the fault, my father-in-law was like, check in to see about private jets. If we have

do it from Springfield. How much is it? So I called this pilot and I was like, listen. Oh my God. Yeah. If I miss, no, it was $23,000 one way to Santa Barbara. Oh my God. At Santa Barbara Airport. But, but my whole family was flying in that day for the wedding. They're all there before you. They were all there before me. And I missed and she was so angry at me. So angry. So angry. We went in pissed. Wow. She was also jealous. I was feeling like my career like just, I didn't have a lot going on. Yeah, that's a hard thing. It was hard. It was very stressful.

And I said to him, if I even hear you holding court and talking about Matt Damon at our wedding, I will fucking kill you. I was like, I don't want to hear a fucking thing about it. Matt Damon, I don't hear a sotterberg. Isn't that I love it? I didn't want to hear a fucking thing. And then I brought my gay yoga instructor as my date to my rehearsal dinner. Oh my God.

It's like a lot hosting. Yeah. You want your partner. There's a reason, you know, your partner helps shoulder the burden. It was like, it's so funny, though. I had that same realization on that film because I had never done anything like that before, like at that level. And they were so like, no, these are the dates and that's it.

And I was like, well, I've got a bunch of money on the table for all these stand-up shows. And they're like, yeah, you can't do those. I mean, you have to come and just live in Decatur for a while. I was like, this is how it works? All right, I guess. So you cancel the shows and then you lost a lot of money doing that. Lost a ton of money. Yeah, you come away making nothing.

But it was the greatest thing in the world. Yeah. I mean, that movie turns out so great. So great. And Matt to this day, like, thinks it is one of his favorite roles. It is one of his best roles. Oh, really? Yeah.

Because that guy is so funny. So. And that his performance is so good. And I loved how he got a little pudgy. You know what I mean? He could put a little weight on. He loves talking about the shoot, too, because he didn't have to watch his weight. He was just like.

He could eat what he wanted. Yeah. And then he's better. He's not so angry and skinny. Yeah. I'm so good. I would never describe him as angry. Not angry.

But I think he's probably always in a place of distress of always trying to lose weight. Always having to look good. Yeah. Always having a thing. And, yeah. I just wanted. I literally remember doing candelabra with them. Yeah.

And he was talking with Scott Bacula. Yep. And they were talking about what they do, like what they eat. And Scott's like I run bleachers at UCLA or. And Matt's like, yeah, I do like this cross-fetch thing. And I'm on this kind of diet and I'm on that kind of diet. And I'm like the third wheel in this conversation. And literally Matt's like, so as a comedian, what do you do?

And in fact, speculous, like eat cheeseburgers at midnight? Right. I was like, hey. That's a big assumption. You know what Baker's doesn't. Yeah. You're like, actually, I do the bleacher. I could do a bleacher.

I could not eat. I think you, did you have your shirt off in that scene? They try to get you to have your shirt off too. Does everyone have their shirt off? I love that movie, man. So good. I don't mean to brag, but I was the stenographer in behind the candelabro. You were.

Yes, she's in the movie. You guys did another, you guys did a movie together. So we're all in movies together. Hey. You look at us. We work together, but far. Yeah. All right.

This is the, this is the Thanksgiving episode, really. Give me your favorite thing to eat on Thanksgiving. My mom. Um, I don't talk about, she had the sweet potato, but like toasted marshmallows on top. And I was looking at that last night. I've never made that. And I was like, it's a dream. It's a dream.

It's a dream. I mean, it's like, I get to eat dessert right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I highly recommend. Right. That's a good thing to do.

I want something decadent fun like that. Yeah. It's decadent and you just, you have it once a year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet potato. Yeah.

Surprise. Right. Marshmella surprise. Yeah. Yeah, marshmallow surprise. I think a real crowd pleaser, and one of my favorite things to eat, is corn pudding. I was just talking with Fortune, my co-hosts on the radio show. She's from the South and our producer, Charlene.

And I've never had it. Yeah, it's like spoon bread with corn in it. Right. And it is, oh, my God, it's delightful. Yeah. I wonder if a Yankee can make it, though. You can. You can.

Oh, yeah. I have a recipe. I'll send it to you. Okay. All right, do it. But it's from the South. I'm going to make it for you someday. It's not very hard to make.

I mean, it's like, it's really like you throw like a cornbread mixed together with spoonbread and then corn. It keeps saying spoon bread. Spoonbread. Yeah, it's from the South. Yeah, it's kind of like a casserole, but bready. Yeah. Just with corn in it. And it's hot and it's creamy and delicious.

You're like going into a trance. I know. He's literally going into a trance. All right. Well, thank you so much for doing this. You guys are amazing. Thank you. You're amazing.

I love your. series. It's really great. Are you going to make more? We hope so. We'd like someone to help us do it. So we got in our lit kitchen. Right, right. Right. Right. We're pitching at each other. But hopefully. We're pitching all over town. Oh, good. Yeah. Someone should make that. Yeah. We'll see what happens. And if not, we'll just, uh, now that we found out that we're all actors together. We'll just do like a really depressing play in West Hollywood together.

Let's do a Donald Margulies play in Westwood. And we'll be like, or we'll do guess who's coming. Not guess who's coming. We'll figure it out. Yeah, exactly. And you direct us like Hoffman with. All right. Do it again. Oh, you guys. Not good. And then Tom and I will quit.

Yeah. And then I'll become friends with his wife. All right. We got it, Aaron. All right, everybody. That was the big show. Happy holidays to you. I hope that this kicks off a great season for you.

I hope that you had a good time. And I hope you enjoy this first big meal of the holiday season and work out a little bit. Take care of yourself. but enjoy yourself. That's the most important thing. All right, enough corny platitudes for me. I'll see you next time. Enjoy your life.