Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 88 - Jim Gaffigan

Episode Date: January 14, 2022

The perfect guest has arrived! My good friend Jim Gaffigan comes by to eat donuts, get bread and talk about his new Netflix special Comedy Monster!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hey, it's our goal. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey! Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for being here.

A big show today with my good pal, Jim Gaffigan. How great is that? He is really the perfect guest, isn't he? He loves food. wrote a whole book about his love of food. He is hilarious. He has a new special out on Netflix called Comedy Monster, and he's one of my dear friends. So yeah, this is going to be a home run. You guys are going to love this conversation. I would like to start off by thanking the good people at Helix Sleep. Thank you Helix Sleep for coming on board. Take their two minutes sleep,

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I sleep on one, so you should too. It'll be like we're sleeping together. That's creepy. And we'd like to thank the good people from DoorDash for sponsoring today's program. You ever pull into the driveway after a trip to the grocery store and realize you forgot that one key ingredient? Now you have options. Get the groceries you need or backup meal from your favorite local restaurant delivered with DoorDash. For limited time, you can get 25% off and zero delivery fees on the

their first order of $15 or more when you download the Door Dash app and enter the code Papa, P-A-P-A. That's 25% off, up to a $10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app and enter the code Papa subject to change terms apply. So yeah, Jim has a new special that came out just recently. It's called Comedy Monster. He is a just a super funny, super funny comedian, of course, but he's also super reliable. Every time a Gaffigan special comes out, you get excited because you know you're going to get more gym, and more gym means more funny. He's a great, great guy.

We've started out back in the day in New York. It was Gaffigan. This was like in 93 was when we were young cubs running around. and I would do these shows, these like we would put together these different shows and Gaffigan was around, Greg Giroldo was around, and I was around, and we would bounce around and do these different shows,

and we were always in each other's orbit, and it's pretty crazy that after all of these years, we are still doing it and still pals, and it all came from those crazy, not knowing what to do, do times. The very interesting thing, and I wouldn't say this in front of Jim, because he'd probably be a little embarrassed, but he really is, in my opinion, a true artist in the realm of stand-up comedy. And we would do those early shows, and he would do version, like a new finding it kind of version of his stand-up comedy today, where he would be on stage and he would do, do, you know,

the little funny voices and how you know he'd break into i don't know what's he talking about and in the beginning when you're trying to find it and these audiences of like five or six people a lot of times they'd be like what is he doing who is who who's this weird guy in between these other people who were who were just killing us with non-stop jokes and straight ahead stuff and jim had a style all to his own in the early days and he kept to it and that became his style and it became mainstream and he easily could have surrendered and just went at it and did what everybody else was doing and he didn't he stayed true to himself and I think that's really the key to his success so funny so great we have a great time and I was very excited because now that

we live on a different coasts today is a day I could actually give him my bread this is going to be a good one enjoy Jim Gaffigan look I even wrote on the bag comedy monster. Oh my God. This is... Now, I know you're on the road right now. Yeah. How long are you out on the road?

You're going home? I'm leaving Friday. Friday. All right. So you can bring this back and eat it. I could, or I could eat it right now. You can take a look at it. I don't recommend eating it just yet.

I mean, you couldn't... You could peel off a piece if you wanted to. It's warm. It just came out of the oven. You know, it's like, why is bread when it's warm? It is... It's... Like, anything else you're like, it's not hot, but bread when it's, oh, look at this.

Right? This is beautiful. That's just for you. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I was so happy to give it to you. Oh, my gosh. I know.

And then, because that's a big thing, and it really by tomorrow it's going to be really killer. So it is kind of one of those things. It's like, it ages? Yes. Oh, God, I'm so ignorant. You'd think the. It does. appreciation I have for bread that I would know more.

But I'm like, bread, good, good, good. Well, that's what was so great about your book. And then we got donuts just for fun for today, just if we're hanging out. Because I know you love donuts. And you were so nice to come on my very short-lived food network show when we met at that donut place. Yeah, I remember that. That was so fun. You just rolled in and it was like, this is like Santa just showed up at the toy story.

It was like, how often do you? Do you treat yourself to donuts? Not very often. Not very often, right? Because there is, these are, I mean, it's like I, there's nothing, there's no justifying a don't. I mean, I've had like, I remember I had donuts in like two specials and I was like, I got to stop with the donut material. And, but there is just, like I've dropped our car off and to get, and then there was a dunk of donuts across the way and I got donuts. you go home, you're a hero.

You are a hero. You are a hero. Right? It's like you might as well have like, I won the lottery. But when you have kids and you show up with donuts, they're like, this is the best dad ever. I know. Yeah, it must be like in the olden times, like if you brought home like a giant elk or something. It's, none of these have sugar in them. No, these are all these are just, you know, Winchell is known for.

How do you go, how do you? How do I pick? You were a pudgy guy. I am still pudgy. No. I don't think so. You don't think so? No.

But you were, you Christian Finnegan, Seguro was a fat ass. Seguora was gross. But he is a stud. He's a stud. And now I'm the fat ass. But I was working out two times a dad. I didn't have kids. Yeah.

Well, I was thinking about that watching your special, which is hilarious. Thank you. I can't believe that you're the, how consistent you are, but I will get to that. But you, as a chubby guy, like, because I'm always been, I could be, if I, when you ask, like, do you eat donuts all the time? No. But if I ate the amount of donuts I want to eat, I would double in size in a week and a half. Yeah. In a week and a half. So I'm always kind of, like, consider myself chubby because I was chubby for a bit as a kid, all that stuff. So anyway,

I'm watching your special and I'm thinking, oh, tucking the shirt in with a belt. Which one was that? Tommy Monster. Yeah, that was a mistake. That was a mistake. I was thinking, I always go untucked so maybe I can create the illusion that I don't have love handles. I, um, yeah, no, by the way. You looked good.

I looked good. Well, I lost weight. You always look the same. I lost weight during the pandemic. I lost like 25 pounds. Whoa. And then I, probably within a week, I gained it all back. That's the most disheartedly.

You go out to eat. You're touring. You go out to eat. Once. And they literally boil steaks and butter. Do you know what I mean? It's just like, you're like, wow, there's so much better than my steak. Yeah, because it's like cooked in butter.

It's, they literally. spoon feed the cow's butter as they're growing. You got in my head because we were talking about how we eat on the road and you said, I like a steakhouse. I like after the show, Steakhouse. And then I went out on the road. Omicron had hit so I wasn't going to a steakhouse.

But the only thing in my head from the moment I took my wheelie bag and left the house was, can I get a steak tonight? Yeah, yeah. But eating after the show is such a bad idea. it's really deadly because you're going to be asleep within a half hour after you put the last giant piece of beef and onion ring in your face. Yeah, just loaf of bread. But it's like, what else are you going to do? Don't you?

How do you come down? I don't get the come down part. You don't. No. I often say if there was a mattress on the side of the stage and I said good night, I could lay down on that mattress and be asleep before people get up to leave. Wow. Yeah. Maybe you're just playing bigger places.

No. Well, for me, I'm such a low energy god that I have to drum up this energy. Then there is the excitement of the show, the feedback and all that. Yeah. And then afterwards, I'm like, I don't want to go out partying. Right. And so I'm like, a restaurant, that's human. Yeah.

Right? And then it's also... It's a great idea. It's a great joy. Yeah. You deserve it. You're hungry. Now, what do you do?

Like, all right, so where were you? So I was in Austin and Tucson. And both nights, I didn't have an opener for either show because of Omicrud. I was just like, I just went out and did an hour and a half by myself. Oh, that's interesting. I was totally alone. So I went and did the shows and then said good night, didn't do any book signings or anything. Just went back to the hotel room.

Got a little snack like nuts or whatever and just went back and sat in the hotel. And it sounds kind of sad and small. Oh, it does. But it was so joyous at the same time. Well, there is. Because, you know, you're with your family all the time. Yeah, yeah. There is something about that decompression that is so, so valuable that, like, my wife never gets.

But it's that, yeah, that downtime is. pretty important. Like just sitting alone? Yeah, that battery, you have to sit back and watch. It's so weird to watch TV with commercials. You're like, look at me watching commercials, like a loser. Or just picking what the TV says is on. Yeah.

You can't find. You know, like there's no guide, you know, there's, it's like also just the whole notion of like, like people don't realize how hard we have it. we have to figure out how different showers work. Like, you're like, what is this knob? Is this knob? Oh, my gosh, I burn my arm. Oh, more red should be more hot.

Right? It's just like, and then you're like, oh, is this hotter or this is, and then you've been making it colder and you're like, all right, this is, no, now it's off. Right. There's different knobs and it's like the shower. What about the water that comes out of the wall? Do we need that? Like, are people like, you know what?

Water coming out your wall, hitting you in the belly. I love the, you've done a big show, and you're feeling pretty good about yourself. Everybody was loving you, and then you get back and you turn the shower on, and that one with the hose attached is twisted right at your face. All right, big shot. It's brutal. There you go. So you did Austin and Tucson.

Yeah. Obviously would have made more sense to do Austin and another Texas. city. Yeah. You know, there's big cities in Texas, one of which is Dallas and Houston or, you could have gone to Oklahoma, but you're like, you know what, let's go all the way over. Yeah, where I have to connect in Dallas to get there. Oh, no.

Yeah. So the whole day is just travel and, yeah, dumb. It was dumb. I feel like airports is where that's, I feel like not so much the planes, but airports, you're just like, I'm getting it. here. I'm getting COVID here. I'm getting it twice. I know. I know. I know. I feel like, I feel like my red alert is any bar or restaurant with a bar in it on the road. Right. That, if I go in there, I'm hungry, but if I go in there, I'm definitely getting a bunch of things. Right, right, right, right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I just, uh, I kind of danced around it. Did you catch it? I actually, when I did Rogan's thing, I, you know, the, I did a negative, I had a negative test. And then someone in his empire was getting, um, an antibody test. And I'm like, do you want an antibody test? I'm like, sure. And so they, it said I had it. I don't know. They could have told me anything.

They could have been like, you're French. And I'm like, really? Okay. I really don't know. It's at Rogan. We must have the top science. It's, no, he has his own nurse. I know.

He has his own nurse. Yeah, you go in, you get tested. It's amazing. And he gets tested every day too. Yeah. Think about how many podcasts he does in a week. Like, he's had more tests than anyone. It's just so unbelievable.

But it said you had the... It said I had it at one point. Oh, at one point. So you have antibodies. Yes. And I think the antibodies, you have them for six months? I don't know. We should know by now.

It's like COVID is kind of like a wine menu. Like given how much I've been around it, I should know a little. Like I should have picked up something. Like, but I'm still at like, there's red and there's white and there's a rose egg. That's all I know. Right. And champagne is like if you want a headache in an hour. Just someone tell me what to do.

Yeah. Someone just tell me what I'm supposed to do and get this book out of my hands. I do feel my optimistic part of me. because New York is starting to come down. Yeah. New Jersey is starting to come down. This seems like the South Africa model. It seems like between the vaccine and everybody getting it,

I feel like this is kind of the end of it. I feel like Omicron was the Friday the 13th where you killed the bad guy. And then they pop out of the tub one last time. Well, that's what's so funny. It's like Omicron. My thing was that Omicron is like a Dateline episode. It's like, there's this thing coming. And you're like, what?

And they're like, it's called Omicron. And you're like, what is it? And they're like, after this commercial break. And you're like, and then they're like, there's this thing coming. Omicron. We don't know. It's from South Africa. And we're going to, and you're like, what else?

We'll tell you later. And you're like, just tell me what it is. And they're like, it could be nothing or it could be unbelievable. And you're like, what is it? They're like, when we come back. Right? And we still don't know. It either's going to make everyone have it and we're all going to be happy. Yeah. Or it's just soften us up so that we're all going to die. Right. Exactly.

Either one of those, but possibly neither. How much of you right now is thinking that donut was really good and went really fast? It's almost like I didn't have it. Right. I could just have another donut. Yeah. I mean, I could, you know, if I was alone in my room, I'd be, I would be down to one or two and I'd be like, well, there's only one or two a lot. What I love of watching your Instagram when you're on the road is, you know, you wrote a great book on food. Everyone knows from your acts, how much you love food. You love food.

And, but not everybody, but it really takes at this point someone to really, really shower you with something great. And then you post it up on Instagram. So I know whenever there's a food thing, it's like, I should. should be writing this down because this in Wisconsin is more is more special than anything. Yeah. No, there is, I mean, it's fun to, you must get food all the time. I get, I get, yeah. The scary part about mine is because I bake is a lot of home baked things. Oh, really? Yeah. So that's kind of a little iffy, right? It's a little iffy and I tell everyone that I don't eat it, but I do. Right. And so that's, you go back to your hotel.

tell her I'm like, you ever get like a gift basket? And you're like, all right, I'm going to bring this back. My kids love this stuff. And then I'm like, you know, it's not going to fit my back. So I'm like, yeah. The one great thing that you hooked me up with was the, uh, the cringle. Oh, yeah, the cringle. The cringle.

That's a special thing. That is a special thing. And, um, I saw, I don't know if I got it this year, actually, now that I think of it. I did shows in November. It's crinkle.com. Like, if we talk about it now, now we'll get, they'll send us cringles. They're so good. So, but.

I never even knew what they were until they showed up. Yeah, I didn't either. My wife was, you know, she had a pregnancy craving. I don't know which pregnancy it was, but she was like, I need a cringle. And I'm like, I don't even know what that is. And we had, and then I realized it was the thing, you know, like Wisconsin, they just, you wake up, you have a cringle, you eat cheese all day, there's just a cheese tray. Right.

I think in Italy it's like that. There's cheese. Yeah. Just out. It's just not cheddar. Wisconsin's all bright orange cheese. Oh, but it's just amazing. It really is.

I had a run where I was staying in the state and did a couple. Yeah. And it was like late fall. It was like the leaves were all changing. And it just seemed like they had said. at the tour up with, you go to this bakery and then you stop at that bakery and then you'll be at the show and then the next day you go to this little home place. Well, because you are so, I'm impressed that you've held the weight off because I know that

when I did my book about food, you get in that mindset thinking about food and mine was also like trying local specialties and there's so many specialties that are not in my book. But like, and then people are like, you got to go here. And you're like, oh, I got to go here. And then you just end up like eating all the time. Like, it's not just people giving you food. It's like your subconscious is always like, oh, there's an amazing bakery in Albany, New York.

Maybe I should go there. And you're like, you don't need to go there. It's really true. But because you're in the bakery thing. Yeah, you're thinking about it all the time. I know. That guy who did Man versus Food. Remember that show?

The first guy? Because I think. The first guy. guy. Yeah. The first guy. He just failed. He's like, I'm going to die.

He had, he would have a physician on the road with him. And they would, yeah, they would take like his blood pressure all the time. And yeah, it was like a big health concern. Like he, it was going to kill. Food was winning. Yeah, because he was. Yeah, that was interesting. There would be like that's one of those things that seems like would in the future.

It would be like how. responsible for a network to allow that. Right. Right now we're like, who cares? A fat guy dies. Who's the next host? But I think he quit. He did quit.

And then there was another guy. Yeah. Who looks a little like you, I think. He does? Yeah, I think he looked a little. He's good looking. Yeah, he was very handsome. By the way, people think that I look like you.

For real? I've seen that on, maybe because we're both, you know. Glasses. Glasses and we don't. say fuck or have hair or have hair or we're friends with crazy people i was watching a comedian the other day a well-known comedian yeah and he's successful and he was telling a joke that was pretty you know just regular material about whatever but he he dropped f bombs pretty much every fifth word.

Yeah. The effect that that has on the, on the act. So he's seen as an edgy guy. Right. But the joke was literally like, sprinkles on donuts are crazy, right? But putting the F bomb in every other thing, he's not us. He's edgy. He's like, if we're a teenager, if I was a teenage kid, I'd be like, oh, this guy's pretty

cool. Right. You know what I mean? Right. It is, and that goes along with the authenticity thing. It probably appears authentic for him, right? Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Whereas if we did it, it's like, it's like, it's like me and, like, I did a show of Milwaukee and they gave me a Harley Davidson jacket. And I'm like, I can't wear this. You know what I mean? Like if I wore, if I wore it, people would be like, no, just take that off. Do you know what I mean? Because it's an authenticity thing. What are you doing? I have material about motorcycles that I know nothing about it.

But like people don't even need to guess. Right. They're like, no, he doesn't. He doesn't. I wouldn't like if there's like there's a disaster, we need someone to ride a motorcycle. People are like, well, obviously not Jim Gaffigan. Do you know what I?

Is that three year old? How's the balance on the three year old? And so, but it's the authenticity thing. It is. I don't know if I talked about this with you, unfortunate but the whole thing of I think that

and this is totally you know there's other issues but I think that for clean comics there is a big disadvantage because we will never get the attribute or the adjective

edgy and I think that like that is a it's you know it's what everyone one wants. You want a little edge. Right. But my theory is that like, Seinfeld, point of view,

like, it should be point of view. Right. But, but edge is kind of a lazy thing. It's kind of like, uh, the equivalent of like saying to a teenage boy, there's going to be a woman in a tight sweater. Do you know what I mean? Does that make sense? Yeah. No, no, no. It's true because you could be talking about, I don't want the baker to feel bad. You could be talking about the same thing. and but if you aren't if because if sometimes I'll get reviews that say something something like he's a he's clean or he talks about family but letting the reader know this material is like

pretty provocative where this is like it is it does have some edge to it like you're right like the first half of it if you say that then everybody just thinks well it must be just vanilla ice cream. Yeah. But it really has, you know, when you see Brian Regan ranting about something, he's, he's angry. Yes. You know what I mean? He's just doing it in Brian's way. Right. Which and if Brian... It's like, you don't want to see, I don't know if I want to see Brian angry. You know what I mean? I feel bad. Yeah. No, in the same way like you can't wear the Harley Davidson jacket, I remember early on at the comedy seller going on after a tell when I first got down there. And I was like, well, I've got a, I've got to lean against the wall and curse.

Yeah. The audience who didn't know me from Adam was like, what are you doing? Like, you could feel them and be like, that's not you. You know what I mean? And I don't curse really my all day long. So why would I get on stage and start doing it? Yeah, it is so interesting. Yeah.

The, but that's my time. But I wonder if it's a calculated thing with some of the, some acts like they know that by by filling your act filling the act with that you are talking to a different audience you're expanding the audience that's insane which one that chocolate one yeah it's too insane i don't know what they're doing it is that looks like it's yeah that looks like it's yeah that looks like they dipped it three times in chocolate it's it's all kinds of amazing all right i'll taste it yeah um do you do you ever do that when you're home just go into a sugar come up.

Like the last half of the episode. You ever do it at home when there's donuts around and you just eat one donut, like over an hour, just taking two little pieces? That's another good dad move. Go to do the regular shopping and get like just the Entomans chocolate donut box and just drop it on the counter. Who did this? My wife comes in.

who did this? You know, I'm going to be the one eating all of it. Oh my God. That's good, right? Mm-hmm. But it's just all sugar, right? We're just responding to sugar. Yeah, and love. And love.

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slash Papa P-A-P-A back to Jim You ever think I'm just going for it and going to like John Panette's size He was so funny Yeah so funny

God I saw him recently They were playing all these comics I never really get to sit and watch And there was a bunch of comics From that era And he was the funniest of all of them. He was so much better written than I remember. Really? Yeah. He was so colorful with his language and really painting a picture and then he had the act behind it of his

just... Well, he also, the theatrics. Yeah. Sing. Yeah. The voices. I mean, wow, he was, he was a special guy. I mean, he was like, I remember one time for his birthday. I middled for him and it was his birthday and he was like, come on, let's, let's go to a strip club. And I'm like, really? Okay. And he gave me, like, I think $50 for the strip club. And I'm like, what a great guy. This is such a weird story. And then we murder the strip club. And I was like, what a great guy. What a great guy. Oh, but here's what I was going to tell you that I think is so funny. It's like, when you talk about the clean thing is, so I've been doing. press for comedy

monster and what is really interesting is comedy monster really there's I mean you know like the past I have a joke in my in my new hour that I'm touring with now

about how he ran out of food meaning me three specials ago like I didn't really talk about food in this special no and but in interviews people have been like

you know so great the food material and comedy monster and I'm like, and I don't want to be a dick and be like, there wasn't any. But like, I'm so associated with it. Yeah. They just assume where they're going. Well, you talk about being chubby in it. Yeah, and then there's the, the cat calling other people's food in a restaurant.

Right. Yeah, but you think that's a process of them wanting to, like, you're known for that? Like, they want you to talk about it? I think it's similar to the clean thing in that. Because what I thought you were going to say is that no matter what we talk about, we're known as the clean guys, that it's always clean, you know, like, it's very safe. But like, I know in one special I talked about cancer. Right.

And, you know, it was like maybe five minutes on it. And it was, you know, because it affects. everyone, right? But like, there was still like people like, yeah, clean comedy. And I'm like, really, that's clean comedy? Talking about how we're all going to die of Canada. Right. How like, you know, when you hear about a, I mean, this is before COVID. Now everyone's grandpa dies from COVID. Yeah, but even like in, even when you in comedy monster, there's one joke, forgive me, because I forget what it was. But at the end, you're like, and then we murdered her. Right. Or something like, right? Right. Yeah. And I was like, and it was. And it was. And it. And it's,

It doesn't get darker than that. But it's, I think it's the whole package, right? It's because I look like, I used to have a joke about looking like John Tesh. Now people don't even know who John Tesh is. But because we look a certain way. Yeah. And I think because people know that we are not the type that are out there murdering hookers. Not that other comics are.

but I don't know. It's weird. I'm sure it's an advantage. Don't you feel that it kind of, it's kind of lost its, it's not so much a talking point as it was earlier? I think it's definitely diminished, but it's still, it's like, I think people are, I think people are lazy. Yeah. And it's, you know, I'm also grateful when I get press. So it's like if they're going to say something.

Right. And, you know, you know, when we first started, there weren't many articles. And still when we tour, people will like, it'll be like, here's the act. And then they just list your jokes. You're like, could you not do that? Right. Yeah. They're like, that's the article.

It's just listing your jokes. Yeah. You're like, all right, that's not an article. Right. Exactly. But so, yeah, I think it's shifting a little bit, but I think that, I mean, we are a culture where we like new, right? We always like new stuff. And so.

Yeah. I do, I do honestly feel pretty good when you'll, I'll be signing books at the end or whatever and some, a whole family will come up. Oh, yeah. You know, like the parents and the 13-year-old kid and his 14-year-old sister. and they all just had a great time and they're like, oh yeah. Like, I do feel really good about that.

Yeah, because it's, because it's hard to, it's hard to write that stuff and be funny so that all those people are into you and wanting to show up. Like, you know, that's,

I allow myself to pat myself on the back at that moment, like that this shows that it kind of pays off. Yeah. I mean, I, you know, there is part of me that feels like, it is, I believe comedians kind of do what they do.

So we're going to do the style of comedy that we're going to do. Sure. And we're going to get the criticism or the credit. But I know as a parent, you know, when you finally have, I mean, I've got, I don't know how many kids at this point. Well, I think it's 12. No, but there is like, you know, finding a family movie, you go through them. You're like, ah. Or, you know, because there's, you know, because I have nine and ten year olds and I also

have a 17 year old. So now I'm like, all right, we can watch Dune. Everyone in on Dune? Yeah. So, like, to your point, there is something where I also really appreciate it because there is stuff that you want to watch and you want everyone to be able to enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah.

And I also like it when I'm at a show and there is. the teenage kid and then maybe an uncle. I'm like, that's pretty cool. Yeah, right. Right, exactly. Because they obviously have varying opinions. Yeah, right, exactly. And, you know, if you're talking about stuff that comes from a family,

everybody's been in a family at every aspect of it. So it's not like you're just talking to parents. Right. Let me talk because this is the only, you know, we're pals and stuff, but you never get to really ask these questions when we're just hanging out. but you are so prolific and you are, I mean, you crank out. But you're prolific too. Yeah, but this is about you.

But it's also about me. How do we do it? But I feel like you have, you gave me advice to start getting into writing books. And I really do enjoy it. But there is a lot of time. you are there's a you know your book you're both your books are joke heavy there's not there's not a paragraph that goes without a laugh i mean there's very few um but now that you're you've kind of been spit out of that and you you've got the uh you know you act and stuff but you got

the show out of your system you went through that um do you feel like you're in a place where you can just focus on the act and that all your writing gets poured into that. It's so interesting, right? Yeah. It is like because obviously the task of writing a book, which is essays, right? It's not like, you know, a novel.

Yeah. But, and it is managing your time, right? 100%. But I do feel as though, it shifts so much because having done a show, and I'm saying this because you've gone through this, or having written a book and be like, I'm going to do another one.

There is something, and there are certain skills that you bring to those things, and also certain things that you acquire from those that you bring into your act. Yeah. That I, you know, I feel as though like writing stand up and how I write it's changed so much.

I don't know about you. It's like, I remember waking my wife up to like, come on, we got to come up with more bacon jokes. And now it's when I'm doing a couple nights in a row, that's when I feel like I'm writing the most is because I'll do a set, I'll kind of think about it. And then it's some of it's writing, but it's a lot of it's on stage, kind of I talk. with Ted Alexander a lot. Right.

And then, but like that's also the coming up with the standup is pretty rewarding. So like I love acting. And so like the forced hiatus, because I think that standups need a forced, you can't solely stand up. Right. So whether it's a podcast, whether it's writing a book, I think it's healthier. for your act to have other outlets. Yeah.

But while I'm doing those other things, a lot of times I'm thinking, imagine if I could just take all of this and put it all towards the act. Yeah. But, you know, it's also weird because it's like, it's like the, stand-up is so self-assignment, right? And, but, I mean, this is me being a total comedy nerd. But like I think that there's, I have this theory that there's how often I just there's a theory on how long people want a show to be. I don't know in the podcast world how long it's supposed to be.

But my gut is that people want to see an hour and 15, maybe an hour and a half of a show. Right. That's my opinion. There are comics that have like three openers and then they do two hours. To me, that seems insane. Yeah. I start feeling bad about everybody that has a life and has to go back home. And so, but like I feel like then there's like how often do they want new stuff from you?

So we know when we go to Austin or Tucson that there's an unspoken agreement, you're going to come with new material. But do they want a special, what kind of frequency? So we know in like the British culture, it's a new hour every year, which is a little bit, I don't think America wants that. And I think it's also determined by style. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're going to, if you're going to be packed with as many jokes as we have, an hour every year is, you know, you can get to the hour. You can get to 60 minutes. But is it the packed 60 minutes that you want to share with people?

There's also, it's like baking or growing something. You have to, you have to let it, like, it's so weird because like we write these chunks, we put them away. And then there'll be this new infusion of an idea six weeks later. Right. That will shrink it or expand it. And so there is something about, and that's always shifting about how, often and when they want to see it. Like, I think that topical, political can be every year.

I think that super outrage can, it has to be like once every three years. Oh, yeah. And even then you're done after two. Super caustic. Yeah. Super caustic. It is, and we have friends that are really good at this. And I'm not making this.

I'm just saying this is my impression. Because you watch people who have that real anger thing and then they run out of the angers thing. And it's like you can't be as mad about crayons as you were about the government in your first one. And or like I think it's special doses of it too. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, I think that like for observable, Seinfeld gets so mad when I use these terms. for observational guys like you and I,

I kind of feel that the material tends to be evergreen, right? Yeah. I feel as though it could be every year or every year and a half. I don't know. You've been on an every year schedule pretty much, right? But it's weird because there is like comedy monster, a lot of people are like, oh, this one's so much better than the last couple. I'm like, well, the last one was like I was doing a special about Canada.

I was doing a special about Spain. It was a weird project. Right. But I do hear like, and so some of the material really could bake, which is pretty important, right? Right. So I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

But go back to the, when you're freed up. Oh, yeah. When you're freed up. When you're freed up. Is that a fantasy? Because is it a fantasy that, oh, now. I'm just... Well, remember when we had day drops

and you're like, if I didn't have a day job, I would wake up and I'd start writing. Right, exactly. And then you have the freedom and you don't. It's so weird because also there's the balancing act of... You need to live your life so you have material. Right.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't perform because for me, like when the first year and a half of this pandemic, I mean, I did a couple of... drive-end shows, but I didn't really write. I mean, I did the CBS Sunday commentaries. Yeah. But I don't feel like, I do think that writing other things to answer your question is important.

It keeps the machine oiled. Right. Yeah. But it's weird. I mean, I love acting and I'll work on sometimes it's usually a week. Sometimes it's three weeks. You know, I worked on a movie where it's four months. but I almost feel like those forced hiatuses are good.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, I do. I do. I always come back to, I really do have this suspicion that it's a fantasy. Like you could just throw everything else out. You don't have to do anything else.

And you can just pour all that into the act. I think it would be minimal how much faster the act grows than the way we're doing it as busy buddies. Yeah. And I think there is There is something about Because there obviously there's people that can I mean I think Dane Cook did like two specials Louis's done two specials in a year

There are people that can do it It's it's also I think Again people that are talking about Politics or topical stuff or tabloid stuff I think the topics are delivered to you. But like when you're talking autobiographically and observational,

you know, it's pretty hard to harvest that stuff. Yeah. And you also go through it. Like, yeah. You're like, I've talked about my family.

Mm-hmm. I certainly don't want to, you know, like I even just feel like in Comedy Monster, I'm like, you know, I was a little bit complaining about my wife. Like I don't want to do that.

Mm-hmm. I don't want to go that far. Right. Like you want to be the, and you know, I see it in your comedy. You want to be the, you know,

to be the cynical people we are, but you also don't want to be this cliche of like, yeah, this bad. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. When the reality is, they're probably looking at this like this dick. You know what I mean? Right, exactly. Yeah, I know.

As much as you can couch it with, we've been in this for 22 years, everything's great. I love this thing, but, and then you complain about something that you do together. And it's like, yeah, you don't want to. You know, because it's just like any other joke, you don't want to hear the wrong laugh. You don't want to be like, no, that's not what I'm, I'm not saying that. Right, exactly. Do you know what I mean? It's like, yeah.

It's weird how people don't realize that you have to rewrite stuff. You're like, no, my point is, I'm not doing an eighth grade homophobic thing. I'm actually, that's not the point I'm trying to say. Yeah. You know people are like, yeah. Yeah. You're like, no, that's, that's, I'm going to rewrite that. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you have anything, do you have any stuff from early on that, that went out into a special that you would have rewritten? I mean, not just from. Yeah. I mean, it's so, uh, we weren't really giving it to people even at that time. No. I mean, there's, look, there's stuff that I've done that. that it's so weird.

You know, during the pandemic, we did this thing called Dinner with the Gaffigans, which started as this. We had friends that were at home and we were like, you know what, we'll just do dinner and we'll see if they can watch. And then it turned into this fundraising thing. And then it was kind of like,

oh, this is good for our kids to like, we're eating dinner but we're actually we're talking about helping people and and that kind of looking back we did it too long it was like you know there was a lot of benefit but like in some ways it's like you don't want to uh you don't want to put your kids in that position do you I mean? Yeah. Having like a production schedule or having to be on camera. We were just having dinner and like it's just a lot to ask.

But like I think that it was well intended. But like that's one of those things where and like I'm sure there's probably going to be people that are like I love dinner with the government. And yeah, it was good. And it was kind of good to keep us in the chaos of the pandemic. We're going to have dinner at 6 p.m. Eastern every night and we're going to do it live. And we're going to talk about, like, you know, the conversations you would have. But it's a little bit too exhibitionisty for me.

Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, 100%. It's just not in my thing. Does Jeannie get uncomfortable if you put the kids forward on stuff? Cynthia's always, always saying, like, off limits. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's so, it's so strange because there is this balance. of, you know, you can talk about, I mean, I would never specify unless they're okay with it. Like at the end of Comedy Monster, there's a bit about my son Michael and Halloween. Yeah. And so, and I asked, I mean, he's 10. Yeah. But I also know that like he's not going to be, I can't believe you told that story.

You know what I mean? But there's, it's a slippery slope because there is almost kind of along the thing. where and I have friends, you know these same people where they'll put like a peach over the kid's face. And you're like, all right, that's just. And that's fine because that's their boundary. Right, right, right. And but like there is part of me that's like some of these friends, I'm like, yeah, all right, I understand you being protected. But like, you do discuss eating ass in your standout.

You know, so like, right. You know, everyone's making it up. We're all making it up as we go along. But, yeah, that's a very good point. It's so weird. Like, the concept that we're even parents is insane. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's, I mean, it seems like, I guess because we've just been doing it long enough, it seems like there's more. It seemed like when we started having families, there were very few. There was, yeah. There was nobody was, of our peers were. Yeah. And it's like, but I think in the long run, Cynthia asked me that actually, she was like, do you think it would have been much different if, if you hadn't had a family if like your stand up or whatever? And I was like, yeah, it would have been worse, you know, like, oh yeah. I would have been worse. I mean, some people are okay as like a single unit. Yeah, I'm not that guy. I don't, I would, who knows what I would have been talking about? Who knows what I would have been spending my time on in between shows? You know what I mean? Like, it gave me. structure and it gave me

perspective on the world. And I mean, it was, it's everything. I don't understand. I really think I would have been worse off. That was good. Now, let's try one more time. Make it more believable. I felt, yeah. Maybe a maybe a little missing your eye.

It was my daughter. No, no, it is. One time. One time, the first time I did the Tonight Show, I did with Leno and I came off to the side and sat next to him. And he was like, that was really funny. And we're talking a little bit.

And he goes, you have, you got kids? And I was like, yeah, I've got a kid and another one on the way. He was like, oh, and he looked away. He was just like, oh, too bad. I thought you were going to be a success. Oh, no. It was that kind of feel. Well, that's how you kind of interpreted it.

But I remember, I remember. Or maybe he just didn't have anything to talk about. But I definitely got the feeling it was, oh, that's too bad. When I see, like, I hear that and I would interpret it as he didn't go down that path. Yeah. I mean, that's just, I wasn't there. And he's the host of the Tonight Show. And he is, well, it's like, I think, you know, the ambition thing is such a strange monster, right?

But like, there's also the, um, the whole thing of like, I remember when I was at the comedy seller. So it was like 25 years ago. And Ray Romano was like, this is before he got a show, before he really broke through. Yeah. And he was the married guy with kids. And I remember thinking, that poor guy. That poor guy is married with kids.

He's trapped. Like I literally would think like, that poor guy, he lives in Queens. He drives. He has a car. He's going home after the set. He drives home. I'm right. And he was like one of the best comedic minds.

And I'm like, it's such a loss. It's so true. And it was just like. And so like, but like the ambition thing is that was there a moment during your career where you were like, there's, I describe it. There's always these moments where I call it kind of. kind of the Wizard of Oz moment where you look behind the curtain, you're like, oh, this is what? This is it? And this is not a criticism of just for laughs, but I remember the first time I went to just for laughs.

Yeah. Because I ended up doing Letterman and I didn't do new faces, I don't think, until I did it. You know, I ended up. Came in after, yeah. Yeah. And so, but it was something I always wanted to go to Montreal. I got to Montreal. I'm like, oh, there's just a bunch of comedians.

Like, I imagine there was like, sign here and get your bag of money. And then there's a conveyor belt. Tom Cruise is in that room. And there are so many of these moments. Like, I remember when I did Letterman and my brother flew in. And I had a friend who had put me in a commercial. And I was like, this is great. And it was a big night for me and everything.

But like, there was part of me that was like, well what do I do now? Because that was my only goal. Right, right. Was to do Letterman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So crazy. I know. And then you're like, oh, all right.

Right. I heard something, I'm going to butcher the quote, but it was, it was something about that wisdom is knowing what not to worry about. Oh, wow. And I really am feeling that now because, when you're younger and running equal energy in every part of what you have to do the writing, the touring, the getting to the thing the talking to the interviews, like that.

And now you're like, all right, I know I'm going to keep it all quiet until it's time to do the run through for the show and then go out and do the thing and that's where, and then the editing after the show is going to be the thing that is going to be really important.

You know what I mean? It's kind of like when you would watch Michael Jordan, not to compare us to Michael Jordan, but when you would watch somebody who had experience in the game, and you're like, why isn't he running back on defense? He's like, he's pacing himself. He knows where he's valuable. He knows when he has to hit. He knows how to spend his energy. And I feel like that's the big difference from now. Like all those moments that you're saying, like, that we're like, you kind of like punctured the balloon. You also were learning like, oh, that's perspective. It's not that big and

weighty. Yeah. You know? It is just, it's amazing how, I guess I am generally a naive person, but I look back and I'm like, what was I thinking? What was I thinking? Like, what? Like, I had this opportunity.

So I did Letterman, I got a development deal. And then, um, uh, the show, welcome to New York. Right. And, um, and, um, and, um, and, the executive producer guy was like, hey, they want to take all credit for the concept you came up with. And I was like, yeah, that's all right. I don't care. And I was like, yeah, that's okay. I just want to be on, I'm just grateful to have a show. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yeah. And then they're like, they don't want you in the writer's room.

I'm like, well, that's all right. I'll be busy acting. But can I give ideas? They're like, they're definitely open to your ideas. They never took a single idea. Right. And it was, It's just one of those things, and I know you had different experiences with your show. Yeah, but similar. But you're like, wow. Like, it's just so strange how, like, people don't realize these comedians, these, these people that if you say don't say turd, they'll go out there and say turd are also the same people that have been eating so much shit. that from comedy managers, comedy clubs, and all the comedy club managers, that if you were to take away all their toys, they'd be like, okay, that's all right. You're a mean? Right. Yeah. It's a very strange thing. There's this rugged individual. Yeah. But then they're like, oh, I don't get paid. That seems to make sense. Do you know what I mean? It's so, like, how is the same person who has the gumption to go on stage doesn't have the gumption to say,

No, no, that was my idea. Well, you think it comes from the vulnerability that we have just in the purerness of what we do. Like, I remember I did the, like, as a community, you're always filled with self-doubt. You always, if it's confident, you're standing in a room with 800 people. There's no guarantee it's going to work. There's no guarantee it's going to work. And you pull it off and it goes great. Yeah.

And you still, when you get back to your room, we're like, huh. Yeah. Was it? How did it happen? How do I think it better? I came off. I did the, you've done this, the Michael J. Foxe. Foundation thing that he does in New York every year. And I think we were there at the same time, actually. Yeah, yeah. And I went up on stage and I did my thing. And it went really well. Yeah. And I came off and I was like, huh. And Katie Couric was on the side because she was hosting or doing something. And she was like, that was great. And I was like, was it? And she hit me. She like slapped me and goes, you comedians are all the same. Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah. But there is.

And I think that that, to your point, I think it's not only the abuse of all the managers and stuff. I think that it's purely, it's an insane thing that we're doing. It is an insane thing. But also I would say at events like that, which that's an amazing event, is that you're also. performing for people that spend $200,000 for a table. And so they're not the

you know like it's not like your Tucson audience. Right. And it's not a comedy club audience. Some people don't even like comedy. Some people are there and they're you know it's not ideal for stand-up. So you're not going to hear the same laughs. Like I think that like

hearing is the like I did a show where was it? I did. did the Melrose Improv last night. Uh-huh. It's just a, it was like a different, because it wasn't full capacity. Right. It's like, oh, no, you know what it was?

I did Kimmel. Uh-huh. And, you know, late night shows, they're usually, you can tell, you're like, but that didn't work, but that worked, that didn't work. It was all like, that didn't work, that didn't work, that didn't work, that didn't work, because hearing the sound. Right. But, you know, the weird thing is like, I also have a thing.

that all, you know, comedians, it's like, you know, Katie Couric, who is so nice and all this stuff. Yeah. She doesn't understand that every single conversation everyone's had in the entertainment industry, because she's a journalist. Yeah. Is a lie. So every time, like, we're buddies, we've been buddies forever. but like most people that you meet and they say I'm a fan in your head you're like probably not

you know what it doesn't and there's a difference between that being low self-esteem and that just being the experience like I remember there was a time when I um I realize because people in the entertainment industry are so responsive to I really love your stuff like who did I say it to I do it too. And they're so, they're, they're, they, they, they light up like a, to compliments, right? That that's just like a necessary thing. Like, like when I would, if I met someone, now I know. Yeah.

To say that. But before, I would be like, hey, how you doing Ben Affleck? Like, I wouldn't know to be like, really loved this and that. And that's not to say that he needs it. I'm just saying he's been getting that for 25 years. Yeah. So if that's absent, he would think this guy doesn't think I'm... Right.

He's like, I directed a movie that won an Academy Award money. You know what I mean? So does that make sense? Yeah, it does. It does. We're very sensitive creatures. Yes. So, you know, Ben is even though...

And this is the thing, like, I haven't met anybody. who I see it on social media sometimes. And I'm like, God, do they really believe that? Like when they have like a slow motion camera following them out to the stage and they're like, you know, getting on the jet. And they're just like, it's just nothing but pure ego and confidence. And I think there are a couple of those that are that way. But you know, from acting and being around the huge stars and stuff, most people are still like,

am I any good? Yeah. And I think that's okay. I think that's what makes you work harder. That makes you keep searching. You know, I think, I think people are surprised that there's self-doubt. Because you are the guy standing up there in this theater and doing this thing. It seems like, well, he's confident.

But in your quiet moments, it's like, if you didn't have any doubt, you wouldn't try and write a better joke. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's a huge thing. Do you think the guys on Instagram are, do you think they really believe it? You know the guys who have like the huge I think that's a cultural thing.

Yeah. That is a status thing. It's kind of like the people that have hub caps with diamonds on it. It's like you're like, I look at it. I'm like, that's insane. And they're like, did it. And you're like, good for you, buddy.

Do you what I mean? Like, it's so funny. Yeah. Like you see someone with like a giant watch for $200,000. Got this watch. Hey,000. You know, it's, but I think that's, I think that. And when I say cultural, I mean like, their family culture.

Yeah. I mean, like, it's not like, oh, every person of this nationality. I mean like kind of, no, the greed culture. It's kind of the greed culture. It's the American making it culture. Yes, it's like there's the, you know, like there's, I remember there was a story that like, you know, it used to be pretty standard that, uh, some performers, famous singers would only want to arrive in a limousine wherever they went.

Right. Which I'm like, that would be, I would hate that. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's just like, every now and then you'll do a show in like Reno and they'll sit in a limbo and you're like, what's going on? Yeah. Are we time traveling here? Right.

You know what I mean? And so, but, I don't know, there's also people that. I think it's interesting the people that travel in packs. Yes. So you did Austin and so you didn't have an opener, Omer Kron stuff, but it was just you. And to just me. It was just you. It was a little weird.

I literally felt I literally had a bit. I was like, I don't, I don't know if this is wise. Like I was like, should I bring Joey with me just to walk, have some. to walk in case something happens. Like, you know what I mean? Like that. But back to the pack part of it too is I don't want a ton of people. I think it's fascinating.

Some people, they bring their crew. Yeah. And I'm kind of like, all right. Again, it's not me. Yeah. Is there, but like, I'm like, who's paying for their hotel? No, they're, no, the person's paying. And, but the thing is that I sometimes wonder.

is what is the value in it that I'm not seeing. So like, you know, like, so I'm touring. Right. And I have a tour manager, which my, I don't pay it for it because I'm the cheapest man on earth. And, but, I mean, so invaluable. So, yeah. He does the sound check. He does all this stuff.

It's like he calls it ad. And so I understand that. I mean, I don't understand, like, having my buddy Bob. who's just there. He eating chips. Give me a pack of cigarettes, Bob. Like, I don't. Bob's just.

But there are people. There's some, but I'm just eating dip. I don't want to, I don't want to sound like I'm judging people. It's just, but then again, I also,

no, it's a different way. Yeah. My pack is my family. Right. Like, I'm like, I'm like,

all right, I'm doing shows in Hawaii. Everyone's going, you know? I mean, obviously it wasn't planned, but. Yeah.

Yeah. But like, that's expensive. It's a ton. Yeah. All those plane tickets and get, oh my God. I mean, then again, some of the people we're talking about are doing multiple arenas in different cities. Yes.

So they can afford it. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's true. I mean, I'm also. But there's also those guys who've been doing that before they got to arenas. They just always moved in packs.

Yeah. Right. They just like having all those, all those people around. And I guess it's like, there was a small. You're not going to get in trouble, right? No, well, I don't know. But there was definitely, there was a, and I've done this a couple weekends now, like recently, where I was just solo. Yeah.

There's something so present. It's, I mean, to the point, and this sounds a little psychotic, but where I'm not talking about what do you want for breakfast, what time we're going to meet at the elevator, what time are we going to, like, even just that small stuff, just being backstage. Yeah. It's purely me and my notebook, my jokes, and the only thing I can think about is the show. It's all moving towards the show. But aren't you obsessed also with like, all right, we ran through how we're going to do the lighting when I walk out, right? Like, there is a lot of that, like, remember when I said we were going to bring down the lights and the guys like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, so you have to do some of that.

I'm doing all of that. You're doing all of that. All of that. I would, that part would be helpful. And having someone help out with like the book signing and that, all those little details. Yeah. But I'm talking just purely, artistically about performing and doing the show. Yeah.

There's something, there was something. And maybe this is just a reset, you know, because we're coming back and touring again like that. But there's something so pure about, I don't know, it feels like like a, like a singer-songwriter out on his own in a way. Like, it's just only, there's nothing that's going to happen from the time I leave the house until I come back on Sunday that is going to be anything but the act. And did you, so you would get delivery or sometimes you would go out because that's another thing. I don't go out when I'm alone. I get food and, well, the Omicron too is like, I just get take out and bring it to the room or room service. Yeah.

You know, it is isolating. I don't think I could continue like this. It's one thing to do it. two days because I do that when I do corporates. Right. Those are essentially really weird. Yeah. You know what I love when Ryan,

when Ryan Hamilton posts him and his posse, he's like at corporate gigs. It's always, it's always like, because they always, there's never a green room. Oh yeah. It's just the banquet room with one table and your rider stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he just has his, has his blazer over a chair. Oh, yeah. He's like, killing it. when you just think yeah yeah yeah now those those corporates are fascinating so when you go your posse is your tour manager who's running running the show yes and then your opening act opening act and and that'll vary that's uh ted alexandro or todd glass right but mostly ted but like ted now is two small kids so there was right the balance

You know, and I'm sure you had to reschedule. I had to reschedule all these shows. So, yeah. September, October, November, and December were pretty crazy. And then I was, that's why I was like, I'm not doing much during January. Right. Yeah. No, that was smart.

It is so nice to be back out, though. You know, the other thing I really admire about when you do go out and your specials, they always look fun. They always look like the, like your marketing of it, you're the posters that go with it, the titles of it. But you seem to be really, you put some thought into all of it. Yeah, I do think that like, that, you know, with this pandemic, we just want to have fun. Like, I always, and I know that you and I have discussed this. It's like, when people come to a show, it's not just about hearing laughs.

It's like these people, it's not just about the money. It's about like, it's the value of time. It's like, look, what we're selling is fun. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, look, there's Bert Chrysler Fund. You can have that fun. But we're going to laugh. Yeah.

And so like there is, I mean, I learned that pretty early on that like it was as much as I enjoy it. It's like people, you know, it's doing a theater, as you know, it's like such a great setting for it. It's like, we're adults here. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm not competing with chicken fingers. Right. And then, so there is something about that night out.

Yeah. That and, you know, a lot of us, you know, it's like if you got kids or if you're like, I mean, half the people are switching occupations, it's like, it's pretty precious. Not only monetary, it's timing. Right. Exactly. Oh, I'm always shocked that people are getting in their cars and driving and finding a parking space and coming and sitting down. Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Right? There's a lot going on there. Crazy. So you're not going to go Panette style. So you lost 25 pounds when you were in the pandemic. You were working out a lot. You got an Apple Watch. I went, I think, 200 maybe 300 days straight.

Some workout. Hitting all my fitness goals. Wow. I mean, on an Apple Watch, it's like 30 minutes. Yeah. So, which I... It's still good, though. 30 minutes is good.

But like, you know, like if you're walking through an airport, you're like, Did it. I don't have to work out. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And, you know, I love when the Apple Watch, because you don't walk in L.A. at all. And then I get to New York. And my Apple Watch is like, are we working out right now?

Should I clock this? Are you having a heart attack? Just walked 50 feet. Yeah. Are you, everything okay? Wait a minute. Are you in a swimming pool? But didn't you feel like you were working out?

Because I started dialing it in two during that time. I mean, it was for my mental health more than it was trying to lose weight. Yeah. I just felt less stressed. Yeah. And I think also there was, you know, COVID hit fat people. Right. Right.

And so I was like. You have a very funny run on that in the special. It's like they didn't want to say it on the news. But like they're like, that was the subtext. Like, fatty's, we're, it's, it's you. It's coming for you. It's you. And we're like, how fat?

Right. Not like me fat. And so, yeah, but like, obviously, you know what's weird is mentally, I think, comedians. I mean, we went from getting a pretty consistent dose of, I don't know, what we'd call it, dopamine or whatever. Yeah, affirmation, yeah. And then it's like, what? Yeah. So I had those CBS Sunday commentaries.

but I found it Did you write stand up During the lockdown? Like yeah Two months Like there was part of me It's like that We're probably gonna die

I'm not gonna waste the energy Yeah No it was hard Yeah Someone was talking about that Like it was It's hard to create When you think your life is at stake

Like we didn't know Which way it was gonna go It was hard to like to sit And noodle around But I started getting some shows up Oh yeah You were doing You were out here

So you're outside You can go outside and I had this big warehouse space. My buddy Greg Grunberg had and we did some shows there. So little things, but it wasn't like preparing. It was, yeah, it was like, let's just get through it. Yeah, right, exactly. Exactly. It took a while to start writing again.

Yeah. Because, yeah, you didn't really know where you were headed. Yeah, I did some of those drive-end shows where it was just like, even people in the audience were like, you know, it's just like, we're like. we're having fun right this is fun right are we gonna die are we gonna die you know like it's just like yeah that's the whole well all of life was that it was like a version of what we used to do is it worth it yeah is it worth it and you're like I guess so yeah I know but I'm sitting on a curb it's freezing sitting in a car they were playing the audio of the show on the radio because some people didn't feel comfortable with having the windows down oh my god

yeah flashing lights was laughter uh I'm so glad I didn't do one of those. Yeah, I didn't do any of the Zoom shows. Did you do those? I did a couple of those. How was that? It was weird. You could hear the feedback, though?

Well, that was it. If you could hear it was okay. If you couldn't, it was crazy town. It was, you just needed, and it really was like, you know, because when we started, how many shows did you, most of our career was in front of 10 or fewer people. Yeah, yeah. And now it was like, uh, I saw. I was like, you know, all right, we've been playing bigger shows recently, but give me 10 people.

That's all I need. Just let me hear some laughs. Give some rhythm. I'll have an idea. And when there was none, it was like, all right, this is, this is, I'm not doing this again. Yeah, I mean, we talk about like those corporate shows, which I know you do. It's like, it's so weird because you hear a certain laugh. And then there might be a setting where it's like, all right, the setting's going to influence it.

But like some corporate shows, they're like, they don't laugh at all. And then they're like, you're amazing. And you're like, I think I bombed. And they're like, no, you were great. We don't laugh. We just don't laugh. Right. You have no idea.

You don't laugh. You're like, we're in Seattle, Washington. There's no reason why you wouldn't laugh. No, we don't. We just don't laugh. And you're like, what is this a corporation of? We're the corporation of not laughing. Right.

It's so strange. Although, when they were all together in a world. In the work setting. Yeah. No, who is funny. You know, yeah, the pars is that kind of low. When you can actually have a good one of those. Oh, those are amazing.

Those are great. Well, I call corporates they, you know, you get paid well for them. But like, they can also be the opposite of writing. Like you can, you're like, well, that's not going to make it. And when if you had done it in the show, you would have been like, there would have been some sprout of life out of it. Right. You're like, nope, done.

Done with that. Yeah. All right, well, this was so great. You have to take the bread home. Oh, yes, definitely. You can take the donuts too. No, I can't. You can.

Yeah, you have several days. Feel this, it's still warm. Yeah. So is it, so it's still kind of doing like the yeast? Yeah, it's, this is why this bread is healthier than you'll have in, like, the market. Right now, it's still baking. And it's still breaking down the sugars that are in the bread. So it's not going to be like when people say like, you know, bread is the biggest evil.

It depends what you have. Yeah. Rogan was telling me about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I know it's true. So how often, I know you enjoy making these. Yeah.

And I love. How often do you eat it? All the time. All the time. And you will eat it with what? Butter, olive oil. Most of the time, before I do the radio show in the morning, I'll have coffee and then I'll have a piece of toast with butter on it. That's like the simple, really nice version of it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Butter. I should have brought you butter. No, I'll get some from from service. I'm just going to be like, oh, yeah, just tear it. You're not going to have a great knife there. No, I think I'm going to bring it home.

You can just do it with your hands. It'll stay for a while. It'll stay for a bit. Jesus. This is like, he broke this bread. Comedy monster. Comedy monster. You are a comedy monster.

Oh, well, thanks, buddy. You are too. This was really nice. So sometimes you do the booze. Once in a while, we'll crack open the wine, but it really changes the day. And how do you drive home after that? I don't. You'll do an Uber.

I'll just sleep here. What? I'll just lay down and then they wake me up. What's that one over there? I don't know. There's all these different sets. You're like, I'd like this to look, was the design for this set, it's like, I'd like it to look like a restaurant that went out of business. Jim, don't, a pandemic restaurant.

Don't criticize my set, you jerk. The way you say it, it actually is, this is what you'd see on the street in New York right now. Are there supposed to be things in here or no? We thought about putting up some, like, head. And shots and things. Or you could put like, I think it should be, I think you should go, I think this should be an Italian restaurant. Yeah.

I think it should be the red checker. Jim, it's not your show. It should be the red. And then this should be like scenes of Italy. Right. Do you know what I mean? All right. Will you come back then?

Yeah, of course. All right, good. And then, and then there is like, yeah, then it's, then, you know, because it's, it is capturing that you have in a restaurant. Right. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not sure people don't like you chewing on the mic so much. That's why donuts are good because they're nice and soft.

Oh, yeah. But I feel like maybe we sit down, start eating first. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, because you don't want to hear the... Yeah, people get angry. So maybe we eat a little first and then get into it. It's a work in progress. But we started the whole thing where...

it was just going to be this and it quickly went to you can't be around human beings for a year. So it got a little thrown. But I was really psyched that you were able to sit at the table. You're the best. We got it, Aaron. All right, kids, that's the big show. Great conversation.

Love Jim. Go check out a special comedy monster. And then when you go to work and have to do something, just turn it on again and let it play. So everybody at Netflix knows that you really love comedy monster. A big thank you to Jim and Aaron here at the podcast wants to thank Jim as well because he left behind a good amount of donuts and they're going to Aaron's house. All right kids, enjoy. We'll see you next week.