Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 91 - David Cross
Episode Date: February 8, 2022The great David Cross shares his new standup special 'I'm From The Future' (available February 12th at OfficialDavidCross.com) and wisdom about drinking and eating. Learn more about your ad choices. V...isit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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It's time for breaking bread with Papa.
Hey!
Don't you know?
Hey, it's how we're going.
It's time for Breaking Bread with Papa.
Hey, don't you know?
Hey, it's also a show.
Hey.
Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa.
I'm Tom Papa.
I'm so excited to be with you today on this glorious, glorious day.
We've got a great show for you today.
Have a wonderful conversation with the great David Cross.
He's got a new special out.
on his website, and he came to the studio.
We sat down.
We broke bread.
An amazing, amazing time.
And I can't wait to share it with you.
You are going to be delighted.
And I've got another little story.
But first, I would like to thank the people at Better Help for sponsoring our show today.
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Oh, we have a good show for you today.
This is so exciting.
I sat down with David Cross.
it really is a there are sometimes when you i get to sit down with comedians who i knew from the
early days who were kind of the juniors and seniors when i showed up as a freshman and david cross
was definitely one of those he wasn't just a a junior going into senior year he was a cool
junior going into senior year and he was really part of the the great
resurgence, or not resurgence, emergence of the alt-comedy scene.
And they just broke out from the clubs and were just based on creativity,
just started a new way.
Mark Marin, Janine Garofalo, of course, and Bob Odenkirk.
And they just were cooler than cool.
So to be able to sit down with David all these years later and talk with him about his
new special was really.
really a treat. It was meaningful for me. And I never got to actually sit and talk to them and ask
them questions. Because you don't do that when you see a senior in the lunchroom. You just kind of look and
talk to your friends and you eyeball them. You don't go up and ask them questions. And I know this
sounds so silly. We're all grownups at this point. And but comedians really aren't really grownups.
And you have it in your jobs, I'm sure. There's just, we never leave high school. We never
really leave high school. So I was lucky enough to see him last week. We sat down, he came into the
studio, we sat at the table, I gave him some bread, and he told me all about his life and what he's
been doing. The special is called I'm from the Future, and it's available February 12th on
official davidcross.com. And it's really, really strong. This is the latest in a series of specials
from David. They're all thought-provoking. They're all hilarious. And that's the great combo that
David Cross gives you. It's not only, you know, he'll dip into politics, he'll dip into social issues,
but it's just thought-provoking is really the best way to phrase it. We talk about that. We talk
about people calling him a political comedian and why he kind of pushes back on that a little bit.
And I wish I, in the moment, could have said it, but I'll say it now. It's really just thought.
provoking. He will take things that are uncomfortable and things that people are trying to figure out
in the moment, in the culture, and he dissects them and makes sense of them and makes them funny.
And this special is no exception. You're really going to love it. Again, it's called I'm from the
Future. It's available February 12th on official davidcross.com. And I also learned some other things
about David. He loves to cook. He loves to cook. He lives in New York. He's a fan. He's a
family man now. He's got a beautiful daughter. And it was really great. It's just a well-rounded
day with the great David Cross. And then he took my bread because he was traveling. And I was like,
I don't know what you're going to do with the bread. I know you're in a hotel room. You're probably,
I can't tell you how to eat it or what to do. You know, Jim Gaffigan, I gave it to him.
and he flew back to New York with the bread.
And then if you saw on Jim's social media,
his kids got to eat it, it was a beautiful moment.
I actually saw Jim in the airport.
We didn't even realize we were on the same flight together.
And I came down and the drivers were holding Gaffigan
and the other driver was holding Papa.
And then Jim comes rolling up with his backpack
and he had the bread in the backpack.
But that's how Jim Gaffigan rolls.
Jim's not going to give away food.
David, I told him, like, you could just pass it on to your friends, bring it to dinner,
whatever you're going to do.
He actually went on James Corden on the Late Late Show, on the CBS, and he walks out with my bread,
which was so perfect.
It was so great.
My bread basically had a late night appearance on the Late Late Show.
He brought out my bread.
James, of course, is the perfect guy to do a bit about breakfast.
bread in front of because he loves bread. And he was very funny in how, like, he wanted the bread,
but didn't want to get it. I'm not going to go into the little comedic parts of it. But Reggie Watts was
involved. James Corden was involved. And my little bag of bread was involved. And that was a very
funny bit. You should look it up on YouTube. I posted it on my Instagram as well. I think you
could probably still see it. I think it's in the feed on Instagram. But it was a really triumphant
for us here at Breaking Bread, having our little bread, make a late-night appearance.
So a big thank you to David Cross.
And you're going to really enjoy this interview, I know, and you're going to even more.
You're going to enjoy his new special.
I'm from the future.
Again, available February 12th on official davidcross.com.
So let's get right to it.
Enjoy David Cross.
It's such a funny thing because you get known for like people just, when they're introduced
to you,
whatever your face is, that's what they think you are.
And like, I never had glasses until maybe six years ago.
Never had glasses.
And now when I take my glasses off, I just, I was in the green room and I left them.
Oh, that Tom Papa.
Exactly.
Oh, now I, I was wondering, because your voice was so familiar.
Yeah.
And you go out on stage and people like, where are your glasses?
It's like, like when Drew Carey took his glasses off, it was kind of a big deal.
Well, I mean, that was a, I don't think I have the,
quite the same, and maybe because I've done so many roles where I didn't have glasses
or different glasses.
But, yeah, with Drew, that was a dramatic difference.
Yeah, those glasses and he had little characters drawn of him.
We always had the big glasses and it's kind of like a big thing.
All right, before we jump into your special, which I really want to talk about in so many different ways.
Yeah, we started.
I baked you bread.
Thank you.
I bake this bread for you. I'll show it. You do it. You do it. It's your hands.
Well, I also like the little illustration there.
Yeah, it's my little...
Is that you, or did you go down to the pier and get a caricaturist to do that?
Oh, Tom. Wow.
Yeah. Now, I don't know...
I assume you're on the road right now, so I don't know...
That's great.
Yeah.
Well, unfortunately, yeah. Oh, man, that looks tremendous.
I hope you like it. Yeah.
Well, I mean, it would be...
I'm not going to eat this all.
I can't.
I'm actually, I'm just here for like 36 hours.
And you're going back home?
Yeah, I'm doing stuff today and tomorrow.
And then I go home.
I mean, if the snowstorm lets me.
Right.
Well, if it does, Gavigan was on, and I saw him at JFK,
we were on the same flight and didn't know it.
And we got off the plane.
He said he took the bread out of his backpack and he brought it home to his family.
So this will be for a couple days.
Fuck it. I can put this in my luggage.
All right. Are you sure?
Yeah, the, the...
Do whatever.
No, no, no, here's the thing.
Okay.
I've got, I'm going to have to...
Because I don't, I'm not going to be back at my hotel until like 10 o'clock tonight.
I have a full day of running around.
Then I'm going to meet some friends for dinner.
But it looks, it smells and looks delicious.
All right.
Well, you do your best.
If you pass it to a friend, whatever.
Thank you very, very much.
But I made it for you.
And I hope you enjoy it.
You want to sign the bread?
I'll sign the bread.
And then I'm not sure if you're hungry because we're doing this kind of early.
I don't know if you eat donuts.
I don't, but thank you.
Are you vegan?
No, no, no.
You just don't eat gross things.
I just, you're not an animal?
I'll tell you what.
I've put on, I've been drinking a lot and I put on like, I have a pretty slight frame.
And I mean, I'm a good five pounds heavier than I should be, which is already five pounds heavier than it should be.
So, like, I'm really feeling it.
I haven't, I don't think I,
me too.
We weighed this much since, you know, when I was in, I'd go to London and when I was, like,
doing shows and pre-production on these shows, before I actively started to, going, okay,
I need to, like, just going to pubs every night.
And I would really, fucking 12 pounds.
Just on my frame, I mean, and it's a lot.
I feel it.
I know.
It's not good.
I'm the heaviest I've ever been.
Yeah.
And I'm scared because it feels like it's just a new plateau.
Like, my fatest was 10 pounds less than I am, like, for years.
And then it went up five.
And now it's up another five.
Do you think it's getting older in metabolism and stuff?
Oh, definitely.
I mean, I could work my ass off and starve myself for a month and drop it.
And then have, like, one night of good wine and cheese and gain half of it back.
I've been drinking so much, though.
What do you like to drink?
Alcohol.
I'll have a little, I'll have a couple of things.
of coconut water in the morning, but mostly alcohol.
Are you wine or you beer?
Both, really.
Yeah.
There's a, you know, things in, where I live in New York, I'm in Brooklyn, and there's a great,
legit Irish pub, and everybody who opened it and works there is, you know,
often they come over and offboat, and they do proper Guinness with nitrous and not
instead of CO2.
It's the best.
That is heaven.
It's so good.
It's so different and the difference is huge.
And it's just this warm, you know, and they have a little, you know, Irish music on Monday night.
It's just like four people who sit at table and, you know, just like if you've ever gone to Ireland and popped into a pub.
And then you're sitting there.
And then before you know, like a couple people show up and then they're playing music.
Nobody introduces it.
It's not like a band.
It just happens.
Yeah, it's heaven.
Heaven.
And so I've been there a lot.
Wow.
And then also the, also the between, I'm going to go all the way back to the World Series.
And I'm just drinking, watching every game.
So great.
And then the football and the playoffs.
Yep.
Going to the bars and, you know, hang out with my friends.
And so then even off my off time, I'm having, you know, half a bottle of wine.
Yeah.
And it's also about the.
shit that I eat when I drink.
So if I don't drink that much, I eat, you know, I don't eat crap.
Right.
Once I'm like four or five beers deep or, you know, I'm on my third glass of wine, it's like,
where is that, where's that dip?
I'll make dip, mayonnaise, cream cheese, oil, butter.
I'm making dip.
What can I put in the dip?
Oh, sour creaming onion?
Tadet chips.
It's really true.
Chips that have dip already.
I'm going to make more dip.
I'm going to dip the sour cream and cheddar chip into the sour cream and cheddar dip.
You know what this needs?
Bacon.
You know, so if I just get very irresponsible.
It's really true.
It's true.
Like, if I, if I, my, the thing that keeps me straight is if I have a show that night,
I usually won't drink.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
Right?
If I'm working.
Yeah.
That's the big difference.
Yeah.
I'm, uh, and I haven't worked on, um, you know, if I'm doing a, uh, TV show or movie, I, I don't drink.
I'll have a glass of wine maybe at home. Yeah. I'm like learning my lines for next day and stuff.
But I, I'm in much better shape than when I eat. I eat light and I eat healthy. I have oatmeal
morning and salad. I mean, I just take much, much better care of myself because I have to.
Yeah. And, you know, I haven't worked like that. And also the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, what I'm doing stand-up.
Mm-hmm.
When I'm in New York, I mean, all the stand-up that I was doing that resulted in that special, with maybe three exceptions, they're all shows I'm doing in Brooklyn, and I ride my bike.
Right.
Either walk or ride my bike.
Mostly just ride my bike, whether I'm going to Bushwick or Gowanus or Park Slope.
I mean, it's all, they're all accessible.
So great.
And so, you know, I'm getting plenty.
of exercise and and I have, like you said, I don't really drink until I'm kind of getting
done with the set. Right. And then I'll have a few beers and I do, you know, Q&A and talk to people.
Uh-huh. And, and that's it. Yeah. That's the thing. Go to bed. It's, uh, the work really,
it's amazing. Like you're saying, like you gain a little weight and you feel a little heavy,
all it would take was getting a roll. Yeah. And your brain just clicks in and you'll lose it.
You definitely will lose it. I have to. Like, as a,
I was saying before, when I was in London, where I'd always put on more weight, I'd walk
everywhere, but I, and also I wouldn't eat, I mean, I would just be eating curry takeaway
and fish and chips. And I mean, just all the shit I love. It's also good. It's also great.
And then just getting those pints and I'm having way more than they normally would.
Yeah. And then I'm drunk. I'm going back home because I don't have to, we're
writing, you know, and I don't have to be in the office until 10. And, uh, and, uh, and then I
grab a, you know, three bags of crisps and a bunch of fucking, you know, Indian snack,
crunchy things and just all garbage. It's so fun. It's with a big smile. But as I'm,
you know, getting, you know, gaining weight. Yeah. And then you dial it back in. But yeah, if, and if I'm
not working, if I don't have a spot, and then I'm going to make dinner for everybody at home,
if I'll start with that glass of wine and that's just immediately now I'm eating as I'm going.
I'm like chopping up cheese and pepperoni and that's the best right?
The best.
Oh man.
The best.
My, I've really grown in my cooking vocabulary is grown.
And I'm still, I'm a big like stew soup guy, but I'll make a shit ton and then freeze half of it.
That's great.
made uh, Beria, um, which, uh, what's Beria?
Beria is a Mexican, it's, it's huge in New York now. I don't know if it's, oh yeah, it's, uh,
from, I'm gonna, uh, I want to say, I'm probably butchering this, but Hacinth, uh, is that,
a J-A-C-I-N, it's a, uh, part of Mexico. Right. I'm probably saying it wrong.
Hacinta.
Hacinta. I don't know. And I might even be.
dropping some letters from there.
But it's, it, there is like four or five months ago, this big, uh,
Burya explosion happened in, in New York.
And it's the fucking best.
I mean, it's usually, uh, goat or lamb, but they also have like beef, like short rib
or a shot or whatever.
And it's, uh, this long, simmered slow.
You, uh, you, uh, you sear the meat first.
And then you get these three different, uh,
chilies and you wrote, you know, de-seat them and stem them and roast them up in a pan.
And then you roast tomatoes and onion and garlic in that same pan.
And you're putting all this stuff in.
Yeah.
And you put it in a blender and you, you know, you liquefy it with some beef broth.
And then everything's cooking in the same kind of thing.
Yeah.
Take the stew meat and put it in.
And then I put it in the crock pot for like eight hours.
Oh, boy.
Ridiculous.
Oh, my God.
It's so rich.
And it's amazing.
It's my wife's new favorite thing.
How spicy is it?
That's up to you.
Because of my daughter, she doesn't like spice.
I only put one of the spicy chilies.
If I was doing it, I'd put in like three, four kick up the heat.
But you can always add a little hot sauce in there.
Right.
It sounds amazing.
It's so good.
But I was driving from the airport in a taxi the other night, last night.
And as we were coming up to the hotel,
there was, I saw a red taco, if you see red tacos, I think that's what it is, because you take the tortilla and you dip it in the, and you coat it in the beeria consomme.
Uh-huh.
You toast it, you know, you put them on the grill like that.
Oh, boy.
And then you put the cheese in the beeria and then you fold it.
And then you dip that into the consomme as well.
So good.
But I'm going to do homemade, as part of my new diet plan, homemade clam chowder is going to be the next thing.
Ooh, yeah, the pounds will go right off.
That's the next thing I'm going to make.
Oh, you're in the throes of winter.
That's New York thick soup stews.
But I've also got all this stuff frozen, so I make big chilies.
Oh, that's great.
You know, big pots of chili and freeze half of it.
So smart.
Pull it out.
I have to say, it was, first of all, I'm so happy to sit down with you.
We had a little bit on my radio show on Sirius with Fortune.
Yep, yep.
And it's just so cool, I have to say.
But we couldn't see each other.
This is much nicer.
Much nicer.
And it really does mean a lot because you were, you were part of the cool kids in New York
when I was starting out.
And it was like, it was very intimidating group of like really artistic people that were going
and doing their thing.
And it really does mean a lot to like sit down with you.
And actually it's one of the joys of comedy, I think, is that if you go the distance,
all these people that you knew like, you know, the Attells or the Sagitts or the you, like,
that you all end up sitting at the table at some point together.
Yeah.
It's so meaningful.
I was just saying this, I was doing somebody else's, you know, doing an interview or whatever,
and, but it was somebody who wasn't that versed in stand-up.
But it was, you know, saying how supportive the stand-up community is.
and it doesn't have the weird backstabbing ego shit that, I mean, there is to some degree,
but not to the extent like any of those other parts of the arts have.
Right.
And stand up maybe because it's so hard and it can be so lonely is, you know, it's just,
and also what we're doing by definition is fun.
Right.
Yeah.
And it's late.
night and it's there's it's it's raucous and it's uh I mean it is a supportive community
yeah and uh and I think the most in the arts I would say yeah um and so that's good to hear
yeah it was really I hope I was nice to you yeah yeah yeah you are we didn't really cross
paths all that often because I was going through the clubs more than right then the all
rooms yeah and um so I would just do it a little bit and then get freaked out and run back to
the cellar
But it was cool, but just watching all your stuff throughout the years, and you're very smart,
and you're fearless in your analysis of everything,
and then the way you're going to speak about the things that really mean something to you,
they're not candy-coded.
And so you are going to, you are going to get criticized from people who aren't aligned with you politically.
Sure.
And which is, you know, there's a handful of guys that,
are fearless enough to do that and, you know, screw it.
If you don't like it, that's fine.
It was a cool thing to see your special.
And also here you talk about being married and your daughter.
And because those things are very hopeful.
And all those really smart people I know in my life who really look at the issues,
it gets very scary because you really, because it is scary.
And I always feel like being a little ignorant is probably helpful.
because you can just whistle your way through and have some and have a good time without being
worried that the planet's on fire. So it was kind of, it was kind of hope, it was kind of nice to see you now
still raising, pressing the alarm, but also having this family and your daughter and that kind of thing
and your love of your dog and all that. It was a nice, you've matured into this balance of.
That's interesting. I haven't thought about it.
that way, but yeah, that's, uh, and that is in itself hopeful and, and, and, you know, I,
I, I can't afford anymore because I have a, uh, well, she'll probably be five by the time this
comes out, a daughter who, um, you know, I can't, I can't afford that kind of cynicism or
solely just live in that cynicism. And I, I, I'm fully aware, uh, and it's things, it's something
I've thought about before.
Like if I just,
if I could cut in half
or even two thirds
my consumption
of news,
I'd be a better person.
I'd be a happier person.
Yeah.
And I've always been kind of a news junkie.
And it would be a very difficult thing to do.
But maybe I need to spend a little less time
in the minutia of how horrible people are
and how corrupt this government is,
et cetera, et cetera.
And I'd just be a happier person, happier dad.
I mean, I'm a good dad, and I love spending time with her,
but it's something I've thought about, you know.
But you're bringing up that just by doing material,
which is, you know, all the stuff with my kid is kind of anecdotal anyway.
Yeah.
It's all...
It's kind of cool to watch.
Sorry to interrupt it.
Like I, you know, when I do sets, I do like an hour and 20, hour 30.
So I cut bits out of that special that I'll just keep developing and doing stuff, you know, about the family and things like that.
And it was cool to watch the balance the way you chose it for the special because I'm pretty heavy with family, especially in the set I'm doing now.
And it was really kind of, you don't need that much to convey I'm a dad.
I'm in love with my wife.
You don't have to hammer it all.
I mean, if you want to analyze it, that's fine.
But you had it, you, you wove it in nicely.
It wasn't the, it wasn't the thrust of your set, but it was weighty.
Like, I got to know you.
That's the thing when I'm putting a set together, and I'm sure you experience the same thing.
But sequencing is probably outside of developing material and editing.
it is the most important thing.
And it's, uh, especially with the last really three specials, it's about, um, you know, the, the,
the, the feeling of like, okay, this is too, I've really belabored this political part.
And let's, let's ease up on the, let's lose that bit because that's too much about religion.
Right.
And let's add some more, excuse me.
Yeah.
Hopeful stuff about, uh, um, and, um, and, let's lose up on the, um, and, um, and,
maybe you don't think of it that consciously, but it really is about the feeling of, okay,
let's dial back on the stride in anger and inject a little.
And I tried to do, you know, I try to every, every special or every, you know, set,
have a good mix of just stupid, goofy things that have nothing to do with anything like
the stuff about the, you know, the impression of the mid-level.
life crisis, artisanal, you know, just whatever.
The Gettysburg, shit like that has nothing to do with anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Silly and stupid and try to balance it out.
So it's not too much, it doesn't feel.
And it's interesting, though, because I, the two sets prior to this special,
oh, come on, and making America grading, and, I mean, I've added it up.
It's like, I don't talk about politics except for, like,
like 34% of the set.
But it feels like that.
And people go, you're a political comedian.
I'm not.
Right.
I am not a political comic.
I am a comic who talks about politics, but I'm not.
It just feels that way.
Right.
But your other stuff is not political, but it's meaningful.
I mean, you have the silly shit for sure.
But you also have, you also...
Yeah, I mean, if I'm talking about, I guess, like, gun control that could come under the...
Right, right.
Right.
The, you know, umbrella political, but it's not.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, but it's not, but it's, yeah, you're just searching, which is such a cool thing to watch.
It's like, you're, you're, you know, you're, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
that's why I always loved about Carlin was, he would be, you know, railing about something,
and then all of a sudden, imitate a crab walking across the stage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it was, yeah, it was a cool, it was a cool, it was a cool balance.
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But man, the way you started the set on this special is so good.
And there's also a real reason why people should be watching it right now.
There's, it's very current.
Let's go ahead and mention it.
Yeah.
It's called, I'm from the future, and it's available on my website, official davidcross.com.
Yeah.
And I'll do a whole intro when you're not here to not embarrass you.
And it's very current.
it's very current.
And it's such a cool thing to watch because I've heard a lot of comedians say,
I don't know if I'm going to talk about COVID, if people are sick of it or people are going to do it.
And the way that you talk about it in that it's, you're speaking about it in the results of what it's done to us and what it's exposed of us.
Yeah.
It's so good.
And it's like, it's not like, you know, a belabored joke that everyone's doing on late night about whatever, about the,
the pandemic.
It's like you really use it to kind of pry open who we are and what's going on.
Yeah.
And it's such a, it really, people should watch it immediately.
Really, because of that, because that's, that is a.
Well, that's, you know, it speaks to why the special exists, the way it exists.
Because I was, I mean, planning.
I was in the middle of selling, you know, tickets and had this tour.
planned.
Yeah.
And then I had to cancel it.
And it was a really difficult and upsetting thing to do, but ultimately the right
thing to do.
And I was, I was, I was very, um, uh, heartened.
And by, I got so many comments of people, you know, in those places going like, you, you
know, this is the right thing to do.
I'm glad you did it.
I wanted to come, but, you know, just various people saying, you know, they were, they were,
uh, and this is when.
when Delta was, you know, starting to rise before Omnacrom, actually.
Oh, wow.
Or maybe as they were kind of joining forces.
This is when you were going to go out with Sean, right?
Yeah, I was going to go out with Sean Patton.
And we had, I was going to do it in this, this cool way that I hadn't done before,
which is the idea was just to go out.
Because the last two tours I did, you know, the Making America Great Again tour was
111 shows, you know, in the states and Canada and Europe.
Wow.
And with the philosophy, like, hey, if I'm out there, might as well go out, you know,
let's do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, oh, come on, was like 80 shows, but, uh...
Oh, come on.
That's such a great title.
Uh, yeah.
And, and, and so this one was going to be, um, uh, uh, because my kids in,
in school, and I don't want to be, because she was with me.
The last, well, she was in my wife's uterus.
And then she was with us.
And my wife, who does lots and lots of different things, but is also a writer, an author.
And she had a book, both of those stories, had a book come out just coincidentally.
Right.
So she would do book signings and appearances.
based on where I was.
Oh, very cool.
So we were traveling together.
Oh, wow.
We had our daughter.
We had a, you know, like a pack and play crib put into the tour bus.
Nice.
And it was great.
That's so great.
We were out on the road for, you know, almost half a year.
Wow.
It was pretty cool.
Perfect.
But now she's older.
She's in school.
And so getting back to what I was saying, that so this is I was going to be out on the road for like
two and a half weeks and then home for a week, week and a half.
half. And they'd just do that and go region by region. And I had to cancel the tour. And,
and, and I just scrambled to put this, I, like, I had all this material that I knew by the time I get
back out on a, back out on tour, because I have this pending project that I'm going to be doing
with Bob Odenkirk and his brother Bill. And who knows when I'm able to get out. Right. But I knew, like,
a lot of this material, I'm not going to do a year and a half from now.
I'm not going to do certainly the COVID stuff and the stuff about my dog.
Right.
I'm not going to do that a year and a half from now.
Yeah.
And who knows what will replace some of that stuff?
Yeah.
So I just really scrambled and just put this thing, you know, got three shows at the Bell House.
So great.
And just, you know, hired some producers, threw some cameras up.
Yeah.
A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend.
Edited it and, you know.
Oh, nice.
And I love the intro.
A little thing with John Benjamin.
So great.
And is that your wife he's talking to?
No, that was a producer.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I couldn't tell.
It's such a funny opening.
It looks really great.
It really looks cool.
And it looks like a special.
But it also is, you know, the Bell House isn't like this overblown,
huge place. We're sweeping in with, you know, showing all these people.
That was a conscious thing. Like, no jib. Also, you're losing seats. When you put a
jib up, you're going to lose 50 seats. And it really, I saw, and, uh, Aziz just did one on,
uh, at the comedy seller. He just had a couple cameras, like, sneaking in there. And it really,
between the two of them, it was like, oh, this is such a, this is where we should be going.
Like, you have something to say. Let's get it out. Let's have people see this. It's not,
go nuts.
Like, let's show this slice of comedy.
And also the turnaround, because it's, I'm releasing it on my website, and I'm not beholden
to, like, other places where I was, before I had shot it, was shopping around, like, well,
we don't have a place until, seriously, like, you know, late spring 22.
And I'm like, oh, that's not going to work.
Yeah.
And I, and I was like, fuck it.
I'll just put it up on my website and get it out.
The turnaround is so quick.
Yeah.
I mean, I shot it in November, and it'll be out in February.
That's great.
That's, you know, really quick turnaround for a comedy special.
Sometimes those sit because, again, you're like, well, you know, Hulu is interested,
but they can't put it out until summer of, you know, whatever.
Right, right.
You're like, oh, that's, forget that.
No, it was perfect.
It was so great.
It was such a treat to watch it because I don't think you can have a conversation about America being divided.
without also mentioning the lack of comedy that happened during these two years.
Like, network television is, like, so frozen and careful that they're not putting out comedies.
They're not putting out, like, just like the airplane level kind of movies of just, like, throw comedy out so we can all just laugh.
And the lack of stand-up was, it really shrunk, especially live.
And I think that it's really hurt us as a culture.
I think it's left people just to lead with,
their politics and their thoughts on the vaccine rather than, hey, did you see this funny thing last night?
Yeah.
That was the thing that...
It's so trite and corny, but it's true.
Like, the healing power of comedy and humor, and it can bring us together, you know, as opposed to divide us and, you know, show us a different way to view things that are emotional and disturbing.
and upsetting. And yeah, I mean, there was very little of that. Yeah. I did this like, um, show. I got like
this warehouse in the valley and we put up a show like summer of 2020 where we had like literally
10 people scattered in this giant warehouse. And the Scalarz did it and Sagitt was there and Greg
Fitzsimmons. And we, and I didn't, I was kind of floored by how much I needed to hear comedians digesting what
we were going through.
Yeah.
Everybody, I mean, you could see the audience, the reaction to the stuff I'm talking about was,
and part of this is, and I completely acknowledge this, and I did when I, when I canceled the
tour, is like, I live in a bubble.
I live in a progressive part of the country in the, you know, culturally diverse area where,
you know, as I say, like people, we followed the rules,
and so we're able to open up sooner than other places,
and, you know, and, you know, there's,
I put that tour together going, oh, this would be great,
and I'm fun, and, you know, and that just wasn't the case,
and people are like, I'm vaccinated, and I wear a mask,
but most people don't, and I don't want to go into a road.
people who are, you know, not here in Missouri, no thank you.
Yeah.
And, you know, you can, you can, you can see the catharsis, I guess, in the audience.
Yeah.
And yes.
And they're also, they're also leaning in.
They're like, they're really, you could see them thinking when you were in the middle of.
Oh, that opening bit too is like, oh my God, it is so brilliant.
Holy shit.
You know, that every time I did.
it, you know, you really, it's like how, that's another thing where you have to intuit, do I do
another sentence? Do I keep going or do I end it here? Uh-huh. Do I do less? Or like how, because,
you know, everybody's sitting and going, where the fuck is he going with this? How is he going to
get out of this? Yeah. That's what my wife said as soon as it was over. She was like, I had no
idea how he was getting out of it. Yeah. That was cool. That was a cool feeling. That's so cool.
My, yeah, probably favorite opening I've ever done. Oh my gosh.
God, absolutely. Because there's no hello. It's just right into it. And you literally go probably three sentences longer than anyone else.
Oh my God, it's brilliant. It really. We can't talk about stuff. We can't. We can't.
No, absolutely. They will. Just for that, you've got to go and check it out.
But it's funny, I did a show in San Francisco, and I was talking about, about the rules there as opposed to...
This is post...
This is like a month ago.
A month ago, yeah.
And they were, they were, I mentioned something about Florida and how they were doing what, going through the pandemic with their own set of rules.
And everybody kind of cheered.
And I said something about, you know,
And because of that, there's a lot of people that, you know, going to die.
And people applauded.
We're talking about a divided country.
I know.
And I was like, I don't know why you're cheering that, but I also get it at the same time.
And you went through this really eloquent fit about that and giving us permission.
Yes.
Because those people are going to, through their selfishness, are going to, are going to,
potentially
create orphans and widows
because they
refuse to wear a mask
or they refuse to
I mean, you know, that's where
it's like, that's where
why people would applaud.
Right.
You know.
Right.
Exactly.
I mean...
Well, your audience applauded.
Yeah.
My audience laugh.
I don't know if they applaud.
You had that one guy that went,
woo,
rioting.
You do this a really good job of the swirling of the people who are saying no to the mask
and pulling the way they pull in every, every possible fear.
And they say they're fearless.
Yeah.
Well, they say you're fearful.
Yeah.
The idea is that you're living in fear by wearing a mask.
Right.
When those people are truly the most fearful people, you know.
I mean, I'm scared of everything.
Did you catch Bill Maher and the Barry Weiss on this last week?
I can't stand Barry Weiss.
What did you say?
You didn't miss it.
It was pretty big story.
They had she, he was, it was hashtag I'm done with COVID, done with COVID.
I saw that.
She's like, I'm just done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
What a fucking ridiculous, ignorant, privileged bullshit thing.
Okay, you're done.
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
And they had a congressman, I believe, from New York there.
And he's like, I'm sorry, I can't really support this narrative.
We had mass graves and people just, the hospitals were choked out and it's happening again.
Yeah.
So I understand the frustration you want it to be over, but.
Yes, sure.
But we're not alone.
We're not alone in this.
And Bill had some, and look, we all want it to be over.
We all, from the beginning.
Except for Fox News.
Right.
As they're getting vaccinated themselves.
They're all vaccinated.
They're all such blatant, corrupt hypocrites.
Blatently lying.
Lying.
Just lying.
It's amazing when you say like if you were to cut back on the news like you
would be a happier person.
And those people that create that news, they seem like pretty happy people.
And you realize they don't take it.
seriously at all.
No.
Like when more Ingram talks.
They don't have to.
They're rich.
They're protected.
Right.
I mean,
those people are extremely wealthy.
Their kids are in private schools.
Right.
They can take,
they have drivers and cars and private planes.
They can do all that shit.
They don't have to,
you know,
they don't have to take the subway.
They don't,
I mean,
these people are just such blatant hypocrites.
And, and I mean,
it's not new to this generation.
It's been going on forever.
but yeah um just you know the people that they're talking to are just pawns they're suckers
you don't get it i don't get that disconnect they've been able to make it work for so long
it's it's i mean it's you know classic uh you know uh pop psychology emotive button pushing
101. It's all, it's why, you know, you have, why elections turn on a, on a, you know, not on the
substantial or substantive issues, but, you know, this cultural thing about CRT, which is
bullshit, you know, that's why how a guy can get elected governor, right?
Right.
Right.
a large state by saying, I'm against critical race theory being taught in school.
Well, it's not.
It's not taught in any across the country nowhere.
And you can say that to be blue in the face because it's a truth.
They don't want to hear it.
The narrative has been set.
So that's how a guy gets elected, you know?
Yeah.
They just hang on to these things.
They know what they're doing.
Totally know what they're doing.
Totally know what they're doing.
The whole thing about, remember the caravans?
you know, the migrant, immigrant caravans were coming.
And then as soon as the election was held, literally, they stopped talking about it.
Because there wasn't a thing.
There was no fucking caravan of murdering rapists.
It just, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
It's insanity.
And it's depressing.
It is depressing.
It seems like it's good.
And he got guys like, sorry to interrupt, like guys like Rogan and, you know, people who reach,
millions of people with, I mean, just speculation.
There's no scientific thought.
They'll have on a anti-vax type person once in a while.
Right.
And not just Rogan, but he's like the most obvious example.
And just talking garbage.
And then enough people, and they're killing people.
People, there are children who are orphans because,
somebody refused to get vaccinated.
Right.
And they refused because they were led to believe, you know,
these completely unqualified statements.
Right.
And because people think, the people saying, I'm like,
well, I'm actually libertarian or, you know,
I'm, I kind of clastic or whatever they think.
And I don't, you know, the,
the news is bullshit and it's corporate and and they're right where are they getting their
material from and well that's what's the disturbing is that there's no like source of like oh
that's where I go for the real for the real truth like if people are going in masses to comedians
with podcasts that shows we're lacking yeah a stop along the freeway that's truth town
you know what I mean like that shouldn't be I almost feel like
they it's like then when the daily show became this
this really powerful place for like for the truth it was like
what's this comedy center we're doing premium blend and
yeah and john stewart was like the the quickest to say like guys were
we're a comedy show right yeah but there's no
Walter Cronkite kind of a news guy no that's just like this is the news
yeah like when you watch CNN and fuck CNN and you see and
see like Anderson Cooper who's the guy who's like their Walter Cronkite on New Year's Eve with Andy Cohen.
Like what's, how's this all add up?
No, I know.
It's, uh, um, and you know, look who owns who is a major, uh, shareholder in CNN now.
You know, right wing guy who's, who's said, uh, I mean, I'm paraphrasing, but basically
said, I want to be more like Fox News.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Who, I didn't, I can't remember his name.
It's, uh, fairly recent.
Really?
Yeah.
That owns a large share of CNN?
Yeah, a major majority share of CNN.
Oh, my God.
So now we're going to have two?
Then we're going to have two Fox Newses?
Well, I mean, CNN was the idea, that was another very successful thing that Fox and the right wing did was to position CNN as some liberal.
They're not liberal at all.
Right.
I mean, they're not.
They're just not crazy bad shit bullshit.
Right.
Fox and
Right.
You know,
it's also kind of like this idea
that Bernie Sanders is some crazy lunatic socialist
who left this guy.
He's like only in comparison.
He's not,
if he was in any other country,
just be a regular guy on the life.
That's all.
The idea of universal health care or a child tax credit isn't,
you know,
it's crazy.
He's a cooke.
He's out of his mind.
And they've been very successful at that, you know.
Yeah.
No, I know.
And also the DNC did the same thing with Sanders and that because they're centrist and, you know.
Yeah, they tore them apart.
When I remember watching when Trump was running and you'd go to CNN and they would just have an empty podium with a running clock of when Trump was going to speak.
And was like, who?
That's right.
Remember that?
Yes, I do.
My God.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
It was insane.
So what do you think is, and what will allow you to tell the future?
Do you think Trump is our president again?
I mean, I don't, but I was wrong before.
Right.
And I had a, up till then, I had a fairly good track record of predicting that stuff.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
All bets are off.
And they've got so many things in place that most people,
people aren't really aware of and so much that I'm not aware of. And they've been very smart
about thinking micro instead of macro and getting people on school boards and getting people
in state government that kind of flies under the radar. Yeah. You know, who knows? Yeah. Once things,
it's like they're playing for the post-election already. Yeah. Oh, they are. They are. Yeah. They're putting
all the people in the right positions who will agree when they say. Yeah. To do the thing.
that people wouldn't do in 2020, you know, because it's highly illegal and it's
treasonous.
Right.
But, you know, the tenor has just, it, it, the Democrats have been pretty ineffective.
We'll see what happens with the January 6th House Intelligence Committee and we'll
find out.
I don't know.
Isn't it crazy when Dick Cheney is walking through Congress as the love
Sain guy.
That guy's pure evil, too.
See, like, and then he's like...
I know they turned on Carl Rove.
Right.
Turned on Carl Rove.
Carl Rove.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, really shot out.
Well, you do an amazing job on the special, and, uh, but we just want to have to mention
your dog a little bit.
And you dedicate, you dedicated the special to, to, um, this lovable guy.
And as I was watching it, I had my,
pug curled up under my under my arm and just uh just snoring away uh is your is your family a
uh is your family or your daughter more specifically uh do they does she long for any other
type of pets is it all dogs is it cats is it lizards it's dogs it's dogs and uh i'm obviously
going to go ahead and we're giving some stuff away here but uh i was being careful not to
I guess it's okay, isn't it?
Yeah, it's okay.
I, neither my wife nor I were ready or expecting it to have the impact on her that it did.
And it was really upsetting.
Yeah.
And there's some stuff I cut from that bit, which is the,
you know, what, just what happens and the, the, the next 15 minutes.
Yeah.
And it's, um, it's just, you know, tough.
Yeah, so heavy.
But, I mean, Ali was in such bad shape that I think my wife and I were both like, I mean, it really
was like, like, I mean,
it was quite a while of,
uh,
uh,
taking care of
something that needed constant attention.
And I think and,
those are the roughest.
And it was like, okay, we're going to take a little break from this.
And, uh,
and,
and I think I'm,
well,
I know,
but,
um,
my wife would probably rather have a cat.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
and, uh,
and,
and,
and,
want a puppy.
And also, here's a thing.
I have a house upstate in the woods.
Oh, nice.
I had before I even met my wife.
And I got it in a large part because of my dog.
And it's almost irresponsible to have a house with the, you know, we're in the woods and we're, you know, acres and acres.
And there's no roads or anything nearest for a while.
and it's irresponsible not to have a dog.
Right.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
No, you have to.
You have to.
But we were talking about like, okay, when the winter's over.
Yeah.
Because, you know, you have to make those sometimes, sometimes often, because you don't know what's going on.
You have to get up at four in the morning and walk the dog and a snowstorm.
Puppy time is hard.
It's so hard.
Those, those, the great, you know, like two to eight or nine are just the best.
But yeah, puppy is hard.
And then, you know, tearing things up.
Yeah.
And then, of course, you know, when they get older and it gets a little rougher.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
We have these, we have these bamboo floors and they're just kind of slippery.
and we've two dogs.
And every time they get excited and run
and their legs are like going out like that,
we're just like, oh, the hips, the hips.
We're just thinking in eight years, we're screwed.
The sound of their nail.
As they're scrambling, they don't understand the physics of flipping around.
I know their hips are going to be shot.
We're going to be wheeling them out to the backyard eventually.
It's so rough.
Well, congratulations,
The special is really amazing.
Well, thank you very much.
Yeah, really.
It was so fun to watch.
And I hope we can spread the word somewhat and get people to watch.
I mean, we got into the weeds and some serious shit.
Wasn't that one of the lighter, funnier episodes, but yeah.
Yeah, that's okay.
It's meaningful stuff.
And, you know, that's the cool thing about you.
You kind of like have all that stuff and it's all wrapped in funny at the same time.
But thank you and good luck with the bread.
Yeah, thank you for the bread.
Let me know what happens to it.
Well, I'm going, I'm going to be, I have another thing here, and then I'm going to tape
the Late Late Show.
Oh, nice.
And then I'm going to go to Highland Park to meet some friends for dinner.
Oh, cool. Maybe they'll eat it with you.
Maybe, maybe the restaurant has a policy where you're like.
allowed to bring home baked bread in. Bring your own bread. B-Y-O-B. Awesome. Well, thanks.
Oh, my pleasure, Tom. Yeah, we'll see you again. We got it, Aaron. We're good, Aaron.
We got it. Aaron, we got it. We're good to go. Wrap it up. Ship it out. A dog.
All right, everybody. That's our show. I told you it was a good one. David Cross, very smart,
very funny. Again, go on February 12th.
to official Davidcross.com and get his new special,
I'm from the future.
Very talented comedian.
I'm so glad we got to sit down with him and spend some time.
A big thank you to the people at BetterHelp.
A good big thank you to the people at Helix.
And a big thank you to you.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for spreading the word.
It's so nice when I'm out on tour
and everybody's coming up and saying they enjoy the podcast
and enjoy listening.
And it's nice to know that we're growing
and reaching more people all the time.
This is Super Bowl week, so make some good stuff and maybe some giant nachos, some giant
tray nachos, maybe some wings, maybe some burgers, just eat your faces off.
This is the week.
This is the week you get to act like you weren't going to improve your dietary life, which
is what you thought on New Year's Eve, and then you kind of did it.
And then this is like, well, screw it, it's Super Bowl.
After this, you can dial it in and start eating healthy.
but this is your day.
This is your week.
Enjoy.
I'll see you next week.
