Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Episode 94 - Judy Gold

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

My good friend Judy Gold aka The Challah Queen drops for some good Italian/Jewish love!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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From binge all episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus It's time for Breaking Red with Papa Hey! Don't you know Hey, it's how we're going. Hey, it's time for Breaking Bread with Papa. Hey, don't you know? Hey, it's also a show. Hey!

Hey, everybody, welcome to another edition of Breaking Bread with Tom Papa. I am Tom Papa. Thank you so much for joining us at the table once again. I am in Fargo, North Dakota, recording this week's episode. It is minus a thousand degrees. There is, there are. some places where I can get food, but I don't know how you get across the street and get back and don't die. So I'm very excited, though, because we're going to be speaking with Judy Gold.

One of my favorite people on the planet, so naturally funny, just as I was getting to a point of going out and starting to make my way into New York and becoming. a comedian. I would say probably, I'm guessing, a year or two before that happened, I remember watching Judy do a set on some show, and she had this big curl on her cheek, and she was so dynamic and so funny. And look, I must have seen a bunch of comedians at the same time. She was one of the only ones that I distinctly remember. She was so funny, so charismatic, and that all these years later, then I go into New York and I start doing the thing and we became friendly and then friends. And now she's just one of my favorite people.

There's something special about going the whole distance in comedy and seeing who's still around and who actually ends up being super important. And there is that little fan kid thing where I do all the time every day appreciate that I I am friends with this person who I watched and obviously was an influence, like, as I was getting started. And this isn't to say that Judy's old. She would be very horrified if I made this seem like, you know, I'm already have people say, like, when you're coming up on stage, this guy's a legend. Well, you're just 20. Judy didn't, she's not that much, you know, ahead of me in the comedy thing. But I was just about to enter and she had already arrived.

She looks amazing. She's beautiful. I'm trying to convert her all the time. I'm like, can't we just kiss on the lips once in a while? And I feel like I've come close a couple times, but she just won't have it. She's just, I think she likes just abusing me more than she does entertaining any of my thoughts about anything. I love her so much. This show is brought to you by tompapa.com. That's right. The Family Reunion Tour is out there. We're cranking out shows all over the place.

We have shows in Reading, Pennsylvania and Barrington, Mass. And we are going to the Keswick Theater and Cleveland at Hilarities. I'm going to back with my good friends there. I don't do a lot of clubs, but that is one that I just adore. And I'm going to be a Cleveland in Hilarities. The Keswick Theater in Glenside, Pennsylvania, has a special place because that was the last show I did before the pandemic. I know I've told this story before, but I will tell it again because if you're like me, you need to hear things multiple times. I did the Keswick Theater.

My stand-up special had come out on Netflix. Crowds were coming out. I was signing books at the end of the show in the lobby. People were coming up. Can we shake hands? Can we not shake hands? fist bumping, wondering, everyone was on edge. Everyone was thinking this was our last really fun night out because we didn't know what was

coming. And within like the next week, everything got shut down. So now to return to the Keswick Theater is a very special thing that we're like coming back and it'll be normal and fun and that we actually got through something. The other little add-on to that story is when I got on the plane the next morning, I'm sitting on the plane. Again, everybody's thinking what's going to happen to the world. And Paula Poundstone, who had been performing somewhere in the Philadelphia area, got onto the plane, saw me there. We know each other.

We became pals through, wait, wait, don't tell me. And she got on the plane, saw me, and just leaned in and said, we're fucked. and then she got on the plane and she has like a little asthma situation so she coughed the whole way back to L.A. and just horrified everybody on the plane. So that'll be exciting. That'll be in Gledside, Pennsylvania. A lot of shows all on Tompapa.com and you can look up all the dates and hopefully we'll come see each other and hang out. But tonight I will be in Fargo, North Dakota. When this airs you, it'll be something in the past. So this may be, Aaron, my producer might be posting this as this was the show he did right before he got frostbite and lost his limbs.

So let's play a very special breaking bread. You guys are the best. Enjoy this. This is a great conversation with Judy. There's so much there. She's a New Jersey native like I am and a lot of family background similar to mine and very different from mine. all in the same spectrum. She's great.

The interview is great. You're going to love her. Enjoy Judy Gold. Nice to see you, Judy. So, Thomas. Yes, love. First of all, I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you for doing this.

As you know, I am your biggest fan physically, you know, literally and figuratively. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. And I have a big flip on my hair, and I'm just going to leave it there. You're there for you. Your hair looks sexy. Hot. Yeah. You look like.

Let me tell you something. Yes. So right now, Thomas, we're in my house in P-Town. Peatown. Oh, yeah, Provincetown, Massachusetts. We're leaving tomorrow because my son, Ben, is in the semifinals of the NASCAR Neskak championship. Oh. He had 28 points on Friday and 23 on Sunday.

I'm not bragging, but anyway. Wow. Best on the team. Well, you know, I'm biased. Well, the points don't lie. Yeah. So anyway, the reason I'm happy that I'm here is because, you know, we both grew up in New Jersey. I am a Jewish girl from New Jersey and you're an Italian boy from New Jersey.

And I grew up in a Jewish Italian neighborhood. My neighbors were the DeSavinos and the Antonellis. And I loved them. I loved, I lived in the Antonelli's house. And something is here from my childhood that I would like to show you that I think you might appreciate. Ooh, I'm excited, yes. So these, I don't know what that black thing is in the corner, but whatever. So, oh, that's my microphone.

Oh. You see these things right here? Up on the wall. Yes, they're candle stick holders. Okay. And I just want you to know that when I bought this house in 1994 when I first made money on a sitcom. Uh-huh. Okay.

And my mother gave me those as my house warming gift. Oh. And now I'm going to tell you where they're from. Okay. I made them in seventh grade shop class. Those are really nice for seventh grade. I know. I made them in seven.

And she kept them. Oh, my God. That's amazing. I know. That's that. is how my mother was. Wow. Where in New Jersey, where are you? In the most racist city in New Jersey town, Clark, New Jersey. Clark was racist? Oh my God. We moved from Elizabeth to Clark. Okay. All right. So Elizabeth was mostly black. Well, it was a lot of Jews, but it was diverse. Right.

You know, I had people of color in my kindergarten class and, you know, teachers of color. And then I moved to White Clark. And it's, yeah. And Clark. And then I went to Rutgers, which very diverse. But yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't happy in the Clark, New Jersey area. How old were you? That was like.

We moved when I was five and a half. Five and a half. And you roll into Clark and you stay there your whole childhood. Right. from first grade through 12th grade. Right. And if I could describe it, I don't know if you ever sold Welcome to the Dollhouse.

That would be something I would use to describe the fun and hijinks I had in Clark, New Jersey. But when you first described, you said it was Jews and Italians, that sounds kind of nice on the surface. Right. So there was in one section of town, Jews and Italian. And then there was another section of town, German, Polish. It was originally a German town. They had a, well, they had a VFW.

They had a Catholic school. They had, I mean, we moved in 1968 and, you know, not all the houses on our block were built yet. And my mother grew up in Manhattan on the Upper West Side. And my father grew up in Perth, Amboy, New Jersey. and they picked the halfway point between New York City and Trenton where my father worked. And this was the town. It was just being built.

Right. I don't know if they knew that it was racist when they first moved there. Right. Maybe it was just coming into its own at the time. Right. And so, yeah, there was a synagogue. So, you know, that's what they, but it was not easy. It was not easy growing up.

You know, it's funny because you're from New Jersey, too, where you live. 27 miles from the biggest city in the world, and yet there are so many people who are so provincial in their thinking. Yeah. Yeah. It really is pretty remarkable. When I went back during the whole Trump of it all, I couldn't believe, like, southern New Jersey was like being in like the deep south.

Right. And northern New Jersey, where I grew up, was all Trumpy. There was just flags everywhere. I was like, we're literally right outside of Manhattan. Like you said, it was like, my wife came back and she's like, whoa, that was, I just went to our hometown and that was weird. I was like, no. And I had to go out to see it to believe it. It's like there is a very redneck element in New Jersey, which is very bizarre because I don't remember

feeling that when I, when I grew up. I did because my parents told me that. My, I, you know, they would call them farmers. But it's only because my mother was, you know, they were cosmopolitan like, you know? Right. But, um, you know, when we were kids, no one talked about politics. Like, no, there were no flags that, I literally, there was, there was no flags. I mean, not American flags. There were no. flags about the guy you were into. There was no merch with politics. Right.

Now there's t-shirts and hats and giant flags. It's like that was something you kept to yourself. Right. You know, you didn't know what your neighbor's political leanings were, nor did you talk about them. And or your religion. People kept their religions to themselves. Yeah.

And now it's like, it's so eye-opening to go back and think, oh my God, these people, People are like, I don't even know what to call them because, you know, they're in a whole other. If you support some of the policies on the GOP, like, then to me, you're an abhorrent person. Like, they're just ridiculous, you know? Yeah, well, there was, it really was a philosophy and a practice that you don't discuss religion or politics. And we're seeing that that's for very good reason. Right. Because you don't need to know that about your neighbors. All you need to know is that they've got their kids or they've got that dog and they bring out the recycling. And he's got a hammer. Right. And she has some flour. And he's in the morning. Right. Exactly. Hammers in the evening all over this land. He numbers out daylight. Right.

It comes out sunshine. You don't need to know all that stuff about people. It's very upsetting. It's like we just know too much. It's like, yeah, you wanted to, I just want to know this much about you. And then I'm done. Then I'm done. We can have fun. Yeah. You can do activities together. You can come by the barbecue that we're having.

Right. Have a hot dog and a beer and then take off. And I don't need to know that you have a child sex ring in your basement. I don't need to know that. So when you, let's go back to the rosy part of the thing when there's Italians around. And you said you spent all your time at that. that Italian family's house, was, were you over there eating their food? Were they?

Yeah. So here's an interesting thing. So I grew up kosher. My mother was very into being Jewish, which I totally appreciate now. Right. So I grew up kosher. And we did all the holidays, you know, and there was a lot of baking and a lot of cooking. And when I think of my grandmother, you know, I think of the kitchen and I think of her sifter.

She had a sifter that we, you know, and making, there were these Pogatchel cookies, which I actually made on Rachel versus Guy, and I won that, I think I won that competition. Oh, really? Yeah. What's it called? It's called Pogachal, but they are, oh, this is, you'll love this. They are these sort of, you know, I'm Hungarian, but like, you know, the Czechoslovakia of it, it keeps getting cut up.

But, you know, they are these sort of sour dough cookies with sour, they have sour cream and butter in them. And they're so delicious. My grandmother used to take the fork and make a little thing at the top of it. And then she would bring them to us in a tin. Yeah. And each layer had wax paper over it. And she loved what she was doing. And they were so delicious.

So I said, you know, I'm going to make these pogoc chel. And it's so interesting because Rosemary Antonelli, my neighbor, who, you know, she was a year older than me. We still keep in touch via Facebook and other shitty social media. But anyway, she wrote to me and said my mother and her mom had passed away. And she said she used to make those cookies from your grandmother's, you know, that recipe. she italianed them up and put that. Remember though, you know what? They would give us Christmas cookies.

They were so good. And they had that sort of tangy topping. I don't, like a lemony glaze on top of it. Oh, boy. So I sent her the recipe and she made them. Oh, that's amazing. Do you have the Pugatrol recipe? Recipe?

Yes. You do? Yeah. I might make them and cookin. My mother used to make this thing called cooking, which was, And they made their own bread. Like we had yeast in the house. It was very old-fashioned.

My grandmother was born in 1896. Wow. And she lived until I was 25, but she, every weekend would come to visit. I shared a room with her. I shared a room with a woman on the weekends who was born in 1896. That's so crazy. And couldn't vote until she was 24. I mean, her values, she taught me so much.

I hated having older parents because I felt like, oh, you know, they're not going to be here that long, which, you know, for my father was true. Was that the fear? Like, you were aware of that as a little kid? I wasn't aware until I realized they were all lying to me about, like, my grandmother turned 75. And so that would have been 1971. So I would have been nine or eight, you know. And I was like, Granny, you're so old. I mean, 75 and 9, you know, that was old.

It was old. Yeah. Especially for an 8 year old. Yeah. Like, you're so old. And she was like, oh, Judith, I'm 57. It's a joke. You know, and I was like, oh, okay.

And then when my father turns 50, well, he told me he was turning 50. Right. And I was about 13, I guess. The whole day, I'm like, you're half a century old. You're half a century old. You're half a century. Like, you know, I was torturous. Yeah.

50. That's a half a century dad. He was turning 60, actually. They had lied to me. They had lied to you. Yes. They didn't want to scare you. And at one point, my brother said to me, he was a little old.

He was older. I think he was like a freshman in college. And I was just a, I know this is shocking. I was a challenge for my parents. No. Because everyone was perfect. Like everyone did their, you know, straight A student, you know, music, everything, you know, like,

not rocking the boat. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on in this house? No one talks to each other. Why? Come on. Can we have fun? You know, it was just a depression central.

And where did you get that perspective, though? Like where, what, did it just come out of you naturally that you were looking around like this is weird? I think so. Or was it from visiting other families and seeing. That's such a good question. And seeing they're having more fun than we are. It was.

Well, but finishing that story, my brother told me, I guess, when he was a freshman or sophomore in high school, I'm in college that our parents are old and they're not going to live that much longer. And you've got to stop. And I was like, oh, my God. Like the worst thing you could say, you know, so I always had this fear that I was going to kill them. Anyway, but yes, where did I get that from? Well, I wrote a show. I did two one person shows that were off Broadway. One was 25 questions for Jewish mother,

but the other was called The Judy Show My Life is a sitcom, and it was really about my addiction to sitcoms and how growing up, I was addicted to the Brady Bunch, to the Partridge family, to all these shows, to Mary Taylormore. And I just wanted to climb in that TV and run away to their houses. And it was just, we weren't sort of a weird-ish family

because our parents were older, And my siblings didn't really, it wasn't like we were doing like, but hey, you know, it was weird that we didn't, we weren't close like that. I mean, we would protect each other. But it wasn't like, how school, can I, you know, no, there was not, I had no, I remember being in high school.

And there were these people in the band. I still, Mike Conklin and Wendy Conklin. Yeah. And they were a year. part and they were brother-sister and they were like best friends still best friends and I was like wait you guys talk to each other like I had no idea how many kids were in your family three three and where were and where were you in the order youngest okay and my my aunt says to me my mother's sister still alive there was a faction of the family that were really on her side on my mother's side that were really

funny and edgy. Right. And my mother was really funny. Of course, I didn't realize it. Yes, that when she died, people were like, you know, she was the life of the party. She was hilarious. Wow. But when you grow up in a house full of sarcasm where every, everything, the value of a

clever remark or, you know, funny retort is, that's valued more than a hug or a hug. you know what I mean? You sort of get an edge. So I think I was so aware, you know, the curse of the comic. You're aware of everything, you know? Right, right. And she was really, and she was sharp and funny, but you didn't see it as sharp and funny when you were a kid.

No, I was like, shut up. You know what I mean? Like, no, I'm already unpopular. And their values were so right on. which was really bad for me. Like at my bat mitzvah, you know, all these kids would have, did you go to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs

when you were growing up? Yeah, yeah. My neighborhood, my growing up was, it wasn't, there was some Italian, but it was a lot of Jewish. Right. So I went to a lot of bar mitzvahs, yeah. And they were ridiculous, correct?

Oh, yeah. And each one got, whoever started, that one by the end of the year. Yeah. By the end of the year, that was like garbage because the other ones, by the end, you had like, you know, gigantic. Right. Yeah, exactly. So that was sort of the same.

Uh-huh. They'd have, you'd have a, you know, the service. But then on Saturday night, at some hall, you'd have this. And my parents, for my brother's bar mitzvah, after his, he read out of the Torah and everything, everyone came back to the house for brunch. Okay, that was his bar mitzvah. My sister, after she did her, you know, Friday night service, they had dessert afterwards. Okay. And then for mine, six feet tall, taller than the rabbi, I, they did this, they had dinner at the synagogue before and then dessert after.

Oh. And every, remember you used? to get gifts. They used to give you swag at these bar impotments. Right. Yeah, with the date and the name on it. Or, you know, you'd get a thing. You'd get something. You'd get a caricature of yourself. Or you'd get like, I remember once I got this gigantic paper clip. It was like marble on the bottom and you could put your, anyway. And my mother bought these little key chains for the boys and this little change purse for the girls. This little, it had like a little design on it, these teeny little change purses. And when my mother was in the nursing home and we, you know, I would take her out to the diner.

Diner's and New Jersey people. Oh, God, the best. And we would go out to the diner and she would always pay, you know, and I'm like, ma, you know. And I remember one of the last times when we went out, she, it's like, Judith, I am paying. and she pulled out the little purse. Oh, my change in it. Oh, my God. So, I mean, they were very, they didn't care about things.

Right. You know, like there were so many young parents in their 30s. And my parents are in their 50s, 60s. Yeah. And they're like, we don't need that. You don't need that. So when your grandmother, when your grandmother was this amazing baker and was baking bread and stuff. How far away was she from you? Was she in another town? Oh, no, she would come over on the

weekends and do it. And just stay in your room and just. Oh, my God. And I wanted to help her. She would make potato soup. Uh-huh. They were very into the yeast being alive. Yes. I remember my mother always taught, be careful with the yeast. It's a living thing. That's right. That's what I have in my refrigerator. Yeah, this Fleischman's yeast. And they use. And they use. I used to, yeah, there were so many. And my, oh, we had in the backyard. My father had a vegetable garden. I don't know if you grew up in a vegetable garden.

Nice. But I, of course, another thing, I was like, oh, God, I want a pool. And they had eggplant. Uh-huh. Tomatoes. Zucchini, tomatoes. Um, I mean, she would make gazpacho that was. I mean, who make a spacho in the 70s, you know?

And so fresh and alive. Right. Rattatoo. And then we had raspberry bushes. We had an apple tree. And my mother would make these pies with the homemade crust. You know. So she got, she was as good a baker as your grandmother?

Yes. There was a lot of cooking and a lot of aprons. When I think of them, I have aprons. And Elise is always yelling at me. Judy, dude, take the apron off when we. eat. But there, yes, I think of them. When I think of my grandmother and my mother, I think of them in the kitchen. Yeah, of course. But oh, I have to tell you a story about the Antonelli's. Okay. So yes, I did spend a lot of time in their house and I did eat in their house.

And who was your friend over there? Rosemary. Rosemary. She had two brothers and a sister. And I loved her parents. And she had a dog named Apollo who bit my mother. Anyway. So, and there was a lot of like my father and Nick, Harold and Nick would stand, you know, on the, on the, on the, whatever, the, you know, their part. No, it was like in between the shared, they had a shared area. Like their driveway ended and our lawn began. Uh-huh. But there was about a foot that was really theirs, but was on our.

our property. And my father planted rose bushes there with their blessing. And after my father died, Nick kept those rose bushes alive. Wow. It was so beautiful. Anyway, so I used to go over there all the time, and I remember one time. And they always had, I don't know if it's a cast iron, but it was always, it smelled like bacon and bacon and fat and bacon.

And everything was bacon and sausage and bacon. Guanchale. Yeah. So they were from Brooklyn. Every Sunday they would have, their cousins all would come from Brooklyn. They have a huge dinner. My father called it the Italian festival.

He loved it. We loved it. The Italian festival. Yeah, it was so great. And we, I went over there once. And I remember it was Passover. And Grace, the mother was like, Judith, you want a hot dog?

I was like, yes, I love hot dog. So I had a hot dog. And then we go back. Then it's dinner time. Six o'clock. No, no, you know, every night, six o'clock. And I'm like, I'm not hungry, which was the most unusual thing that could ever come out of my mouth. And I said, I'm not hungry.

And my mother's like, what did you eat? And I said, oh, I had a hot dog over at the end of alleys. Oh, no. You ate a pork hot dog at the, it's Passover. I mean, like, it was like I had bludgeon someone to death. cut them up and put them in the basement and now we have to like leave town. Oh my God. That's so harsh.

I know. But those families are very similar, aren't they? Don't you find like the Jewish and Italian families are very, because I would go over for Passover to like my girlfriend's house and just watching the rhythm of like the of the uncles and the aunts and the father and the grandfather and everybody like around the table and and and the mom especially like like with the guilt and with the with the yelling. Oh yeah.

It was all very, very familiar. Yes. I always felt like that. It was very like home in their, you know, the family first. And the not, I mean, you guys way better food. But yeah. Shut the up. But your food wasn't, you know, I would come in and be like, oh, this is good.

And they'd all be rolling their eyes. Like, yeah, this is the one day you're going to eat it. Right. Yeah. The thing was that there is that cacophony and that sort of, what is it called? It's called, like this caustic vulnerability, you know? And I feel like I really did feel. at home because there's this, I mean, I know this is probably politically incorrect to say,

but when I was working at Catcher, I mean, I did a lot of comedy clubs in the 80s that were frequented, owned by, or had something to do with the mafia. And those guys were so nice. I mean, like, there was something like, yeah, and I felt taking care. I don't know what it was. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, there was a taking care of kind of a thing.

It was like if you were, if you were part of them, then you were part of them. And that was it. You were just like, you're the, you're the comedian and you're going to be family. And yeah, there's that, there was that part to it for sure. And growing up in New Jersey, there were a lot of people who, Italians who had nothing to do with the mafia, but they would want you to think that they did. Yes, yes, yes. I got people. Right. I got people. No, I'll take care of it. Right. Exactly. Yeah. No, no, don't, don't, don't, don't have to worry about it. I got you covered. It was like. And they would sexually harass you and you didn't, I mean, I didn't, I know this is hashtag me too, but it was like, okay, whatever. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you could read it. There was, it was pretty, it was kind of, it was harmless in most cases. Yeah. You know, did you, where did you first go up on stage when you were in New Jersey? Jersey. Oh my God. I have to...

I've never asked you that question. When I was a sophomore in college. Right, which was... I think I was 19, so 1988. Where were you? Rutgers. Redkers, right. Yes. My parents wouldn't let us go anywhere else because

for me it was $2,500 in semester. Yeah, state school. Good state school. And I really wanted to go to Emerson, but whatever. Anyway, And they're like, it's a good school. And you go to graduate school, you can go everywhere. Okay. So I'm at Rutgers and I'm a music major.

I was going to be a communications major. And then I was like, and I love music. Like I was in the band and the orchestra and the choir. I mean, I'm not like, you know, it's not like I'm, right. That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm not Sarah Brown. How's that? All right.

Or Carol King. But I loved music and I wanted to learn, you know, like if you, if you study music history or art history, you really do. I wanted to learn about the world through music. So anyway, so I was a music major and I didn't want to practice. But I did. I was very funny. And so we had Secret Santa's and my secret.

And on our floor in the dorm, we had the most creative secret. Like it was a show. Every night, people had to do the. strangest things. Right. And one night, I was dared to do 10 minutes of stand-up and use the people who lived on our floor as material. And I skipped classes.

I was so, it was like, I don't know what happened, but I took it so seriously. Yeah. And I stood on that lounge floor. I have a picture of it in New York. Wow. And I told my first joke. And I got a huge laugh. And that was it.

That was it. It was like an out of body. Like God had spoken to me. Like, what is this? This is it. And then I, and it was 81. So like in 82, I started going to, there was this place called the charter house and Scotch Plains.

Like, everyone was starting to do standout. I would go to, you know, Westchester, Pennsylvania and, you know, all these, I would just, I would just go anywhere and then I, yeah. But let's go back for a second. Let's go back just for a second. When that was, when that was so important to you, like, I know what you're talking about. Like, this is not really a stand-up thing, but you are being asked to do stand-up and this isn't a club.

This is you with your friends in this place. But you took it really seriously. And is that because everybody knew you were funny? And now it was, let's see if you can be funny. like this? Like, do you think that's what it was? I, yeah, I think it was a little bit of such a good question because that no one's ever asked me, by the way.

This is what we do here at Breaking Bread. Right. I mean, Tom, you're very deep. So I feel like I was always funny. Yeah. But I was so big. I was so tall and awkward and never fit in. I mean, which.

that's why I loved Joan Rivers and Tody Fields and like all these women who were really pushing the envelope and not and I would be like oh yeah that's so funny like I want to do that I want to do that and I and my RA or preceptor we called them you know who ended up being my secret Santa and made me do this he used to have me come in his room

he was older than me and tell tell the story about blank Tell the story about blank. Okay, leave. And I was like, oh, okay. And it was this, everyone for your whole life telling you you're really funny, people who knew you, you know. Yeah. And then, okay. Yeah.

I don't know it was just, it was like, wow. Right. You have that little idea like, can I be like Joan Rivers? Right. Can I mean, that's all I loved. You know, I remember watching like Elaine Boozler. and Rita Rudner. I mean,

and of course I loved Robert Klein, and there was that David Brenner bit about him sitting on the newspaper, and I loved Richard Pryor, the film, you know, I went to see his film. I loved, you know, George, I mean, there were just so many funny, I really geared towards funny and inappropriate.

Did you think when you were digesting all that stuff as a kid before college, was there any. Like I could be a comedian or I want to be a comedian? I knew I wanted to perform, but I didn't know. I didn't know, you know, what genre. Yeah. Yeah.

I really wanted to act and I really loved playing the piano and singing and stuff like that. But yeah, it must have been in there somewhere. But it wasn't like this is something, a Jewish girl from New Jersey. Jersey, like, this is not what we do. No one of my family was in, I mean, I had a cousin who was an agent, whatever. Right. But, no, it wasn't like, it was like you're going to be a music teacher. Right.

You're going to do this. Everyone was very safe. And when I decided to do this, I mean, nothing ever, that one set, that first thing, Nothing I ever did ever compared to how I felt on stage. And they had this thing. Remember Catcher Rising Star, of course, you remember Catch Rising Star, but. It was actually before me. It closed when I showed up.

Well, Tom, I did. They did this thing called Campus Comedy. Uh-huh. And where three professional. comedians would come and perform and they had like some sort of talent show where you could get five minutes yeah form with them and I won and I performed I did five minutes at our student center whatever lounge we know the bigger you know with place with the stage and um Larry Amrose was the MC wow and Bill Schaft and Adrian Tulsh. Wow. And and I

I was 19 years old and Bill will still tell the story, but they, I got, I did my five minutes and they were like, you're really funny. Wow. Yes. And Adriens told me to come and hang out. She did the Monday night, um, open. I mean, it was like you'd pick whatever.

You got to hang out. Yeah, yeah. Just come. And I would go on Monday nights to New York City and like not get on. But I was in that. And I'd see these people that were. like on the tonight show. I was like, oh, a year.

I'll be on it a year or two. You know. It's happening. But it was such a... But you were good, you were good right away. I had stage presence. I mean, there was something, you know, I still had to, you know, you take 10 or 15 years.

You go, oh, okay, that's what this is about. But, yeah. But you were on the fact, you were, everyone knew you're funny. Yeah. Right. I got, I was, I was funny instinctively. and I commanded that. Like I got on there and I commanded that stage.

Stage presence. You can't buy stage presents. Right. That's so great. Yeah. It's so exciting. And so you started doing it. So you're still in school.

You haven't even graduated yet. I haven't graduated. I'm doing it. And I'm like, I got to graduate. What's your mom saying? Judith. I don't, as long as you're, I don't know. They were very, they came to the show at the,

they came to a couple of my shows. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But then I was like, all right, I can't be driving in New York, you know, twice a week or whatever. I want to finish college. So I finished college. And then I went and when I moved, I moved to New York. Right. And I started taking acting classes at HB.

I wanted to, you know. Oh, I went to HB. Yeah. And I took improv classes. And. It was a great spot. Yeah. And I remember I met my ex, Sharon. And I, and I remember saying to her, yeah, I used to do stand-up and, you know, yeah, I know that person. Yeah, I'm on the stand. And she goes, either shut up about it or do it. And that was it. And that was it. And I went back. So I kind of took a couple, maybe 84 off or 80, you know, a year or two off and graduated. And then I went back. And isn't it funny? I had. a similar thing where I started and then stopped. But think about it. Like, you starting really on paper

is like nothing. It's like, but it's so huge that in your head you're like, and then I stepped away from her a bit. Like it was a sabbatical. And it's like, wait, you didn't even have a career yet. But you knew how important it was and what a big thing it was and you really weren't going to get away from it. So those, that year or two off is like, it's kind of big. Right, and I was still performing a little bit, you know, I would, you know, I would do like, I did like a children's musical where I played the piano when wrote some of the music. It was like, you know, I was still like nothing is ever. Yeah. It's just, it was the grind of, you know, being in college and driving to gigs.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was not. But I never really stopped. And, you know. Right, right. That was always. Yeah. Isn't it funny when you, when you start, especially in school, you start to get a sense that, oh, I'm, I'm kind of carving out a different life here.

This is not going to, if you're driving to gigs and you're doing that stuff, it's like all of a sudden you're skipping parties. You're not, you're not hanging out with everybody the same way you were before, right? Like you start to realize. Yeah, you start to have a whole other life. Yeah. Sometimes you're not, I could not stop thinking about it. And the minute, you know, when I moved to New York after I graduated in 84, I missed everything in my 20s. You know, I missed and 30s.

Yeah. I missed New Year's Eve's. I missed my father's last father's day. I missed holidays. And I mean, what I sacrificed just to get on, just to get 30 minutes of stage time. Yeah. Yeah. And no phone.

and no computers. No, no contact. Isolation. That Eddie DeBoschowitz gig. Did you ever do that? Where it was Buffalo and Niagara Falls. It was two weeks. You go to Buffalo for a week, Tuesday through Sunday.

I'd have Monday off. And then I go to Niagara Falls, Tuesday through Sunday and stay in a motel. Like, miserable. Miserable. So alone. So alone. I had a junk drawer. One of my suitcases was a junk drawer.

I'd bring my clarinet. I mean, it was ridiculous. So lonely. I know. I know. So lonely. It is lonely. Did you have things?

I had, I remember my parents telling me, like, I don't know if this is going to be a life for you because you love family. You love, you love, you love, like, being home. You love, you know, having food and being with everybody. Right. You know, that's not the life that you're talking about. And I remember, and I still kind of carried it, but I kind of made it. work. Like I had to, I had to kind of get both out of it. But it was too big of a drive. It was too big of a thing. Oh my God. I, you know, I will sacrifice, but I'll just take the first flight home.

Right, right, exactly. You know? I mean, there were times where I drove, you know, I drive from Boston. There'd be a 1 a.m. show at Nix or something. And I'd drive home. I would drive anytime I could drive home to sleep in my bed. Even it was for like four hours to get up to go. In my bed was. But it was interesting because I'd never thought about, you know, am I going to, I mean, being gay, I wanted a family. I mean, but I didn't think it was going to be possible. When did you figure that out? That I wanted a family or that I was gay.

They were gay. Oh, three. I don't know. I remember thinking. You knew the whole way. The whole time I'm like. Okay, there's, it's so weird because I, I've talked to other, you know, 20 year olds who were gay.

Uh-huh. There's this really weird phenomenon that you realize, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Wait, what's, oh. And then, you know, you figure it out. You've kind of figure it out when you're 11 or 12 when you're going through puberty. Like, oh. Uh-huh.

But you know something's different from the get-go. But you know inside. Like inside there's something, you can't tell anyone that it's a secret. And like even now when it's not a secret, kids still can't, they know like you're five years old. You're like, nope, can't talk about that. You know, it's so weird how that is ever present when you're such a young person. So. But there was this thing when I, when I, after I had.

had Henry, you know, Sharon had Henry, my ex, and which I'm not supposed to, you know, I'm supposed to call her Wendy. Right. In my act, but Sharon, so we call her Schwendie. Anyway, so Schwenny had, you know, first of all, I was in this relationship. Yeah. Which I didn't talk about on stage because there was nothing about it. Plus, I didn't want to be pigeonholed as a, I wanted to be a comic who happened to be gay. Right. But then when Henry was born, and, you know, it wasn't easy. You know, it's not like you guys where you're like, all right, we're going to have a kid, boom. Right.

And, you know, we're not married legally, you know. And so we go to the sperm, back, all this, we have our first child, Sharon has him, I adopt him several months later. And I have all this material. Right. And every comic talks about their family. And I'm like, I'm talking about my family. I like came out on stage as a gay parent, really. And after a minute or two, people were like, oh, that's the same shit.

You know, like, they forgot I was gay. Right. And it was. So I think a lot of people came out before me. But I truly think I'm the first person to come out as a gay parent. Uh-huh. Interesting. And, you know, I had been talking about my family.

I talked about my mother and my mother and my mother, you know, my family. And here was my family expanding. Right, right. And, you know, it was just the natural progression and I wasn't going to hide it. And what kind of message is that to your kids? It's like, listen, we don't talk about this. You know, like, I just wasn't going to do that. Yeah.

Do you? So, yeah. What are your thoughts on comedians who kind of hide it on stage? I think it's so sad. Yeah. There is nothing. Like, why would you hide that? Like, what are you ashamed of?

Great comedians tell the truth, and they speak truth to power, and they're brutally honest. Right. Let's be, let's face it. That's the best part. You're laughing. Right. Because it's fucking 100% true. Right.

I mean, look at your stand-up. You say, I mean, you're very clean, which my mother would love, because my mother used to be like, Judith, Bill Cosby doesn't curse in his act. And I'm like, well, that's true, but I don't drug and, you know, rape. Yeah, at the end of the day, how'd that work out? Yeah, I don't rape unconscious women. But the, but how can you be truly a comedian if you're not honest with yourself? And if you're not presenting your true self, unless you're doing a character.

But I think, I think it's. sad. And I think you just, you know, one person you can change their life. I can't tell you how many people and kids now that come up to me, you know, I watch you on Comedy Central when I was a kid. And I realized I can have a family and I can have, like you don't know. You know, representation is everything. Honest representation. Yeah. And I feel like, you know, I'm the reluctant sort of gay parent advocate, you know, gay LGBTQ families, you know? Yeah, no, 100%.

Because I'm all about family. And who are you to tell me, you know, that my family's not as valid? And I had so much material the way the world looked at me or treated me and Sharon and the kids, you know? And now Elisa. But there was so much there. And, you know, you tell these stories.

And people leave there going, oh. Yeah. Right. Oh, I liked her, and she happens to be gay. Yeah. And you know that, you know, my son's friend has two moms, and I shouldn't invite, you know, like you just don't know. No, you don't. You really don't like.

No, it's not right. It's not right. So when you, when you built this family, so you had these Jersey roots, you built this family, you got all these moms and grandmoms cooking for you and making all the stuff. Do you still carry that on? Oh, yeah. Are you the cook? Are you the baker? Well, I feel bad because as my mother got older, she couldn't cook anymore.

But yes. So I am the cook. You are. A sister also will cook and make this noodle cuggle, you know, like there are so many comfort foods. But yes, I cook. I make hala. Nice. How is your hala?

Let me just see if I can show you something. Let me just look my video background. Let's see. I haven't made it a lot, but when I have made it, it's good. It looks, but if I'm being honest, it looks better than it is. The flavor is not bad, but it's dense. I keep making dense holla. Oh, okay.

Let me just show you that, shall I? It needs to be light and airy. Oh, nice. Look at that. That is beautiful. I don't know if you notice that my, on my Twitter bio, it's I love Chala. I love Chala.

Like I can't tell you how much I love Chala. And we have, we get one every Friday night. And that is all I thought about. Like all weekend. And I still, there is no bread. That compares to chala. I'm sorry. Chala French toast.

Oh, Hala French toast is, yeah, that's like the pinnacle. Oh, my God. So you get it on Friday, eat it in different ways, and then by Sunday you're making the French toast? Yeah, you want to, first of all, you want to, you know, you want to make sure it's sort of Saturday night when you're done. First of all, there's nothing, nothing like a piece of chala with butter on it. Like there's nothing that compares to it. And then you want to make French toast, leave it out, leave it in a paper bag, make it sure it's like kind of stale. And make that French toast.

Chala stuffing in the turkey. Oh, my God. Use Chala in your meatballs, too. What's amazing, I'm just realizing it now that Hala is already made with eggs and then you're making the French toast and dipping it in more eggs. Oh, it's egg and, you know, it's just so good. There's nothing. And I make sandwiches on chala. They have now that little chala rolls.

I should consult with you because I've got it. Like, I'm getting it. It looks really great. Do you braid it? I do braid it. I do braid it. Which I'm a little curious why yours is separate in the middle. Okay, maybe the braiding.

I made a big, huge one. I didn't realize it was for two chalas, and I think that's why it separated. And you made a gigantic hala? I made a gigantic kala. And you want it to be really, do you like it really light or it can be a little dense? I like it a little dense. Maybe you would like my hala. Yes, I like it a little dense, a little eggy chala.

Right. I mean, the light is fine, but it's like, you know, it's like airy. I love it dense. Oh, so maybe I'm on to it. Yes. Maybe I shouldn't try and air it out. Now, do you do six braids or three? Six.

Oh, aren't you fucking six, which is very complicated. By the end, it's just like, you know, stuffing it all in. Right. It is hard to keep track of. What about, have you ever made the holla where you braid it and it's make it into a circle? Right. So that's a round kala that you would use for, uh, for a high holiday.

Oh, okay. I have not, I just want to show you a beautiful picture. Who's that? Me. Oh, look at you. Adorable. Oh, please, awful. Here's my family.

Ready? Yes. Oh, with my grandmother, too. Oh, nice. There's your grandma. Oh, look at her. There's my father. Right.

Oh, wait. I have a funny story. It's very Jewish. That looks like a Jewish Brady Bunch. Like you've got, you are the seven. You are, everyone look, your brother looks a little morose maybe. Oh, they're all miserable. Wait, hold on.

Hold on. Wait. Your sister, your parents look like they've got, they're ready to go. Your grandmother looks like she's ready to go. Oh, my father loves to call up too. Your siblings look a little, a little. They're miserable. That's what I'm telling you.

Look at them. He's like, get me the fuck out of here. She's like, I want to kill myself. I'm not kidding. Okay, wait. I got to show you something that you're going to love. So if I move, you'll see. Fuck.

Your dad was a good cook, too? Yes. Wait. Okay. So you see, I'm wearing that around my neck. Yeah. I'm wearing an apple necklace. Yeah, an eaten apple.

It's an eaten apple. Okay. So that was really popular. I remember those. Right? Yep. And so I used to wear that. And they had another one that was, what should I call it?

That was an Oreo cookie with a bite out of it. Right. And I wore the Oreo cookie with the bite out of it to Yom Kippur where you're supposed to fast services. And I thought it was the funniest. It's funny. Yeah. For like, you know, seven-year-old. But whatever.

Yeah. So my father would cook and he would clean the silver. That was another thing he did. He cleaned the silver. But he would make this thing called bake spaghetti. which was very, I think it was spaghetti, ketchup. Oh, no. Something else.

And he'd put it in a pan and bake it. And it was crunchy and it was so good. But we can't remember what else he put in there besides the ketchup. Oh, no. And the spaghetti. Did he ever share this with the Italians next door? No, we, I doubt. They would have moved.

They would have made you move. It was very important about the sauce. Everyone had their own sauce, the Italian. Oh, yes, of course, of course. I remember a friend in high school once, like, this, it was as hard. He came out to me, okay? Uh-huh. Which was really hard.

Yeah. But the thing that was equally hard for him to tell me, like, I'm not kidding, it was as difficult for him to tell me was that his mother used ragu in her sauce. and he was like, don't ever. And literally, I'm gay. And my mother uses ragu and the tomato. Like, it was really, like you can never tell anyone. Yeah, that would be.

And you know what? That's funny. I know a couple people who told me a very similar story about their own family. No way. Yeah. Well, I just dress it up. Jesse. Jesse May Paluso is a very funny comedian.

and she said that with one of her grandparents, I think. And she was like, she saw ragu in the pantry. He was like, what is this? Oh, I just dress it up. I make it my own. It is really a big, it's so crazy. That is like a badge of honor. Like, it's a secret.

Yeah. And you cannot use any sort of jarred or canned anything. And unlike coming out as gay, people will really shame you 100% across the board. No one shames you from being gay. No one's, no, no one's, no one's, you use prego, forget it. No one's accepting that at all. But I have, but you know, it's interesting because the food tells this history, you know,

especially for the Jews who've been kicked out of every country. Our food, you know, Shabbat for different people. Yeah. It's not the same food. It's depending on, you know, we were in Greece. for, you know, a generation. So we put this spice in. Or we lived here, you know, my grandparents lived here for a while.

So we used this. So it really tells, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I never is, which I loved, which I haven't made, but I really want to do it was, they would make dough. They would roll them into little, um, like golf ball size. Uh-huh. Uh, put them in sugar and cinnamon. Oh, boy.

Put them on the bottom of the pan, add walnuts, do another layer. Oh, my God. Even, and then you'd pull it apart and, oh, my God. That's amazing. Do you think, are we, like, when you look at your brother and sister who don't look very happy, they seem like, I was going to ask, do you? that thing of like having your grandmother come over and stay for the weekend and just cook, or every week, like every memory is of the family, someone's in the kitchen and family's coming over

every single weekend. And because we didn't have options and we didn't have people who weren't living in different places and we all lived around there. And the one side, like the romantic part of me thinks, wow, it's so sad that we don't have that with our families, like that we don't get to do that all the time. Right. But then when you see the faces of your brother and sister, it's like, well, maybe they didn't enjoy it anyway. Right. Well, they were like in high school miserable, but, um. But do you feel like, I mean, you feel like we've lost something in that?

It's funny because, all right, would you want your parents-in-law every weekend? Like, no. And that my grandmother, my father, like, I loved my grandparents. mother. I loved my parents. But my father was busy on the weekends a lot, you know, doing his gardening or going or working or we'd go to Rickles. Judith, you want to go to Rickles, you know. The hardware store. Yeah. But think about it. Yeah. You know, she was there every, you know, every weekend. And my parents are married. Yeah. But it wasn't, yeah. It was a sort of normal thing at that. time. It was a normal thing. There were no other options. And in a way, it's like, well, we might, we, we kind of expect too much from like, like, well, I should be going here and I should be traveling there and I should be doing this. Right. There's like a nice, miserable calm. Right. We go nowhere and grandma comes over on Saturday. Right. And cooks and we all.

And I always remember waking up Saturday morning And hearing them drinking their coffee And speaking in Yiddish or German They would use a lot of German words And talking about like everything And it's like, oh, and wachin, Judith. And I'm like, what? Nothing.

You know. Yeah. But there was this familiar. I don't know. It was much. It's much simpler time for sure. Absolutely. But, you know, the other part for us as comedians is like, we weren't sticking around no matter what.

It was like you have that balance. You crave family. You made it. You have this thriving family and you have all that joy and love in it. But there was also the part where you're going to be going and finding the audiences all around the country and doing the stuff that you have to do and writing all the time. Right. writing all the time. And, you know, there was that balance that kind of had to be had to be struck.

Right. There's no security. There's no security in this business. And to follow your dream and be able to raise your family, you know, so unconventionally. Yeah. There's something to be said for that. Like, I may not be, I'm not the biggest star in the world. I don't have a lot of money. Like, I'm just, I'm okay. And there's something to say about I raised these two kids doing what I love. How many people can say that? Very few. Right. Yeah. No, that's a huge achievement. Yeah. You may not know who I am, but it doesn't matter because I have these great, I created these two great people. And a lot of people do know who you are. Like you have that balance of both of it, you know. Yeah, the people, I think of all these comments. without families.

Yeah. And it makes me sad. I mean, your career's not going to, you know, wipe your ass at the Hebrew home for the ages. Or like, yeah, or make like a grandkid or or just be on the reliable guest list for the holidays. Right. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah.

How about this for a fantasy? How about I move back to the East Coast eventually, which probably happen anyway. and we live near each other, and we share like this rose bush little piece of land between us, and we recreate that better version of the Italian Jewish neighbors. Nick Antinelli and Harold Gold. I love it. And we could do a little podcast there on the rose bushes.

That would be great. Judy, what do people need to know about you? Where can they see you live? Well, that I'm old. Okay. Old.com. Old.com. What do they need to know?

Well, I have a website, Judygold.com, J-U-D-Y-G-O-D. Nice. I am on Twitter and Instagram and TikTok at Judy Gold, J-E-W-D-Y. I see what you're doing there. Yes. And I have a book that I wrote. Nice. If you want to see it, it's right there.

It's called, yes, I can say that when they come for the comedians. We're all in trouble because we are. Because if you're going to live in a world without humor, I don't want to live there. And the joke is not about you. Everyone, you know, no comedian is thinking about you when they're writing in their material. Okay, and what you went through and blah, blah, okay. So I'm doing a lot of gigs. I'm on, I don't know when this is airing, but I am on next week.

Oh, so February 28th, Better Things on FX will be premiering and I'm on the last three episodes. Plus I wrote on this season. I was in the radio. Oh, no way. Yes, I didn't know that. And the first lady on Showtime, I'm in the Eleanor Roosevelt block of that show. one of her lesbian. Oh, nice.

Look at you. Advisors and friends. Yes. Gillian Anderson plays Eleanor. Nice. I'm also in the new Apple TV series called extrapolations about climate change. Wow. Oh, that's right with my buddy Greg.

My buddy Greg was producing and directing. He was the director. We talked about you. He is a great. Yes. What a great guy. Oh, one of the best. He directed my last stand-up special.

Yes. He's amazing. I told him to go over and harass you and give you. I gave him a couple lines, but I know he's not the kind of guy that probably did. Yeah, no, he's too nice. So I did that. You know, I'm doing a lot of episodic, like girls I've ever and all this stuff. Anyway, but I'm doing a lot of stand-up.

So you can check that out. I'll be in New Hope. The 12th and 13th. What's in New Hope? I love New Hope. The Raz Room. Is it a good place? Yeah, you'd love it.

It's very gay. But you would do great, pass. Let's see. I'm at the Sevor Theater in Fort Lauderdale on March 26. Nice. I have my podcast, Kill Me Now, which you've been a guest on. I don't know. I have a lot of stuff going on.

It's a lot of stuff. It's way. I'm very happy. And I, you know. It's way more than. I needed to hear. Balance. Balance.

Balance. And I'm going to write a one-person show about my book that'll premiere in 2023. Forgive me, what was the name of the cookie? Pogatchel. Pogachal. I'm going to send you the recipe. I would love it.

Please do. Please do. Thank you, Judy. I love you so much. I love you. You are the best. I'll see you really soon. I hope so.

All right, everybody. That's the big show. Thank you for listening. Judy Gold, thank you for being on the show. I told you Judy was great. She's so funny. Go and look up all of her stuff at judygold.com. Go to Tompapa.com. Look up the family reunion tour and all the other stuff we've got going on. I am now going to venture out into Fargo and like I said earlier, I hope I keep my limbs. And if I don't, well, we'll just do the podcast as a torso. You guys are the best. Keep your likes and subscribes coming. Keep growing the family.

See you next time. Thank you.