Breaking Bread with Tom Papa - Thanksgiving Surprise! - Zoltan Kaszas

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Happy Thanksgiving, Bread Breakers. This week Zoltan Kaszas joins us at the table to discuss food, fun, and fantasy. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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And I remember that. And I told my mom years later, and she's like, I can't believe you remember that. You were two. That was in 89. But so dramatic. It was dramatic. We were all on the streets. And I'm like, what the heck were we doing out of here?

And so they had occupied it and were just all going home. It was communism ending. The Russians were moving out. Wow. That's the earliest memory I have of Hungary. Wow. Wow. Yeah. All right, dumb question.

Yes. Where is hungry? It's breaking bread. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Fantastic. You came up from San Diego. Yeah, yeah.

And you gave the response. I said, and you're going to drive back and you were like, yeah, let me just go back. And you gave a response like you're tired of people saying that's a long drive. I mean, I've heard it my whole. They're like, well, because there's always this, like, anytime I would come up to do a show or a meeting or anything, they're like, see, I came up for this. Like, the tone of like, you spent all that time in the car to come up for this. And now knock on any meeting I've been to, any show I've done. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, get over it.

Yeah. Yeah. But in L.A., there's definitely the thing, like, if somebody offers me a meeting after 2 o'clock. in Santa Monica. I'm like, well, I'm not going. Because I'll never come, I'll never be home. I'll never make it back. I did live here for a short time, and it was in Culver City.

And there were many open mics and little shows I'd get booked on that I would start the journey there. And then halfway through, I'd just go, forget this. And I'd just go home. I'm like, what are my dreams? Let's just forget my dreams. I have an apartment. I literally have a gig, a private show. and San Diego on Saturday.

Oh. And I'm going to, I'm flying in from Phoenix. I'm going to do that show. And then I have a car that's driving me back home to L.A. After the show. Whoa. And I'm, all I can think about all week is, I wonder what that traffic's going to be like. Are people all leaving the beach at 9 o'clock on a Saturday?

I think you'll be all right. I think it should be all right. I think, yeah, that should be fine. Yeah. Yeah. What's the benefit? Or what's the private? Yeah, corporate.

Yeah, I don't know. My father always laughs at me. He's always like, so who's it for? I'm like, I don't know. I like not knowing. Yeah, I don't need to, why don't have to be worried about real estate people? I'm going to do my act. Do you want to know more about our CEO?

I'd like to know less. Yeah, I'd like to know less. Because if I do make a good joke about him and you all laugh, you're then going to not laugh even less than. Yes, exactly. At all my rest of my stuff. Because you're like, why aren't you making fun of Bob? Oh, that's the worst.

You have some inside joke for the company. And then they're like, yeah. And then you're like, how about my jokes? And they're like, how about me and my family? Oh, we hate all that. For our listeners, I apologize if you're sensing some tension between Zoltan and myself. He's here to promote his special, which is a great thing. Yes.

It's called London Fog. It's on YouTube right now. Yes. And you're so damn funny. And I've only became aware of you in like the last two years, I guess. Yeah. And asked you to do my shows in New York. It was so cool.

So great. And you just really make me laugh. You know, there's a lot of funny people. But for whatever reason, some comedians make you laugh personally. Right? There's a very famous comedian who I love. And a booker the other day said to me, I don't get him. And I was like, he's the funniest guy on,

earth but I can't beat him up for it no because it just doesn't tickle him right uh this is inappropriate to say but you tickle me thank uh that's how I got on the show everybody so anyway I'm just setting this up to say that we're being very generous in our time and our effort we have a whole staff here that's putting this show on and Zaltan just made me uh agree to my daughter's request to pay eight hundred dollars eight hundred and eighty dollars and sixty five cents to get a test on a rabbit of why it's not eating hay. Oh, you didn't, you cut out that part. I thought it wasn't feeling well.

It's not feeling well. Oh, okay. It's not, it's not, it's not just being finicky and like I'd rather eat veal parmesan. I just learned this too. Rabbits have to eat hay. Okay. Because it's for their digestion and their teeth. They're always chomping on stuff.

They have teeth that never stop. growing. Is that true? I do know that. That is true. And if you ever see a horrifying picture on the internet to research that fact, you will be exposed to a rabbit with teeth that wraps around its body. Yes.

Because they just keep growing. That's why they are either pets or they are killed by coyotes. Right. Those are the two lives. Those are the two trajectories of rabbits. Yeah. Yeah. You're either boozy and a rabbit hutch with a comedian dead paying.

for your medical bills or yeah you're just coyote food you're torn apart yeah if they don't have the hay they eat everything in your daughter's dorm room power cords uh boots other items that you then have to pay for it to replace oh wow so your daughter's off at college with the rabbit in the dorm yeah that's so that sounds like a sitcom yeah yeah that's a very sitcomy life she's what would you title it something with like a hair pun hair in the sink I don't know something like that I guess

hair clog so yeah so you know thank you I baked you bread by the way also I just came out of the oven I'm pumped for that that's the most exciting part

I mean doing the show is awesome but I'm a sourdough sucker I plow bread more than I should Good. So let's just add that in the column of things Tom did for you, as opposed to the column of what you've done for me, which is make me $800 poor.

There are a couple things on that column. You also recommended me to Esty at the seller. Yeah. And I swung around and hit myself in the head with the bat. And I was like, Tom doesn't even know me like that, and he was just nice enough to recommend me. And you got passed. I didn't.

You didn't? No. Oh, is that what you mean by swung around? Yes. They set me up for a home run. And I, what happened? 18 or 19, 18 years of comedy left my brain. I saw the silhouette of the sweet old lady in the doorway watching me.

And then I just started talking. And my brain's like, what the hell are you doing? And I'm like, I don't know. What are you doing? No. And that lasts. Because you only have five, for our listeners, you have five minutes set. Usually after somebody established at the cellar on a Friday night.

They couldn't have set me up better. Right. And I remember right before I went on, Jim Norton's like, good luck. And I'm like, you're Jim Norton. Yeah. And then I just forgot what life was for like 30 seconds. Oh, my God. I snap back into it.

And then I finished okay, but definitely not like a set where she would go, we would love to have you here at the comedy seller. Borderline. Yeah, it was borderline at best. Yeah. And then I was like, I felt so bad because I was like, Tom went out of his way to recommend me. And I was like, I hope I didn't soil the good name of Tom Pomp at the comedy cellar.

You know, it's a tough place to get past that. It's very difficult. Everything has to line up and go right. Yes. And there's a lot of people who don't get passed and eventually, of course, do. Right. And she ends up with no memory of not passing you. It's just like you've always worked here and I always knew it kind of a thing.

That's great. So it will happen. Yeah. But to make you feel better, there are, and this is a, maybe it's a me problem. Your number, I'll call you number three of three people who I work with and really highly recommended and did not get passed. Okay. Well, at least I'm not the only one. No.

That makes me a little better. I don't think I put someone up in recent times who's gotten past. Okay. I think it's gotten a little trickier. All right. She's tough. I also didn't do myself any favor. It wasn't one of those where like, that's the best I could do and you still didn't.

It wasn't one of those. I was like, I get it. Right. Oh, man. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, no. I'm glad I had to bring it up. Yeah.

I was like, hey, I got to apologize for this. this. Well, that's right. It does make me feel better about the rabbit thing. Just a little bit. You're from Hungary. Yeah. Yeah. Were you born there? Born in Budapest, and then we moved when I was four, so mostly raised in the States. Right. Yeah. The only thing I know about Budapest is the end of a great Christmas movie called The Shop Around the Corner.

I never watched that. It's with Jimmy Stewart. It was done before it's a wonderful life. And it's this really elegant, beautiful Ernst Lubich film. And it's in Budapest. The whole thing takes place in Budapest for some reason. Wow. And this is my only thing I know about Budapest.

It's a delightful little place with little gift shops. Yeah. And it snows sometimes. Yes. And at the end of the movie, the shopkeeper is talking to a young employee, and they have nowhere to go on Christmas night. And he's telling the little kid Pepe, he's like, have you ever had a goose pudding? And he's like, no, I've never had goose pudding. Oh, we're going to have you goose pudding with cranberries and caramel carrots.

It would be delicious. Have you ever had schnitzel with whipped cream on top, fresh from the fish? No, I've never had. Oh, wait to you. Have you ever had goose? Have you ever had the most beautiful goose in your life? He goes, no, whoa, we're going to have a time today. And they go walk off and have this great Christmas meal, which we never see.

Oh. It's all I know about Budapest. That was not my experience at all. I had a grandma that used to serve me spinach soup and radishes. That's what I remember. Spinach soup? Spinach soup, which I actually enjoyed. It was heavy cream.

and then radishes, which I've always hated and still continue to hate. But yeah, yeah, all that stuff you listed, I've never had. I had a radish the other day that it wasn't happy about. They're all bad. Yeah, they're really rough. I guess, I don't know if they try to pickle them sometimes, or maybe just overdressing, but they didn't make an attempt. There was a book called Setting Free the Bears by John Irving. I'm really filled with facts today.

And he It was a guy who wanted to let the animals out of the zoo And every day he would sit in a bench Outside the zoo And he would eat He had a brown paper bag with radishes in it And a salt shaker And we'd take the salt shaker out

Put it on the radish and eat it And that was the only time I was like A radish is good That might be pretty good Yeah it's like when you see like old hillbillies back on like Andy Griffith They'd have a tomato and just salt You're like, have I been doing it wrong?

You're supposed to salt it. You're supposed to salt the hell out of it. You just need so much salt on it that you have no taste buds left. So what is, do you go back? Do you have family there? All my family outside of my mom and my brother are over there. Okay. And I'm supposed to go back.

I have not gone back since I was in kindergarten. Okay. And I have a show there in April. So, yeah, I get to go back. And I'm trying to get my mom to come. Yeah, I'm like, I'm doing a show in Budapest. You have to come. And I had her, and then I lost her.

And it wasn't my fault. I have a godfather. I come from like a lineage of kind of white trash. American white trash? Hungarian white trash. And they're lovely, I mean, I guess they're not lovely people, but some of them are. my godfather is recovering or maybe still drug addict alcoholic and he has no teeth and so my mother's like you need teeth

right i called a local dentist i set it up i'm going to pay him yeah and he said thank you and then like two days later he's like just send me the money and my mom was so offended she's like i'm not coming to hungry this is her brother uh my godfather so i think it's her her nephew. Right. And she's so upset about it. She's not coming. And I was like, oh, just because she doesn't want to face him?

Not just him, but a few of them. And I was like, well. The whole thing is a sad scene for her. Yeah. And I'm like, well, we could not. I was like, I don't even know how we sneak in because my show is going to be heavily advertised. Yeah.

I'm going to be posting about it a lot to try to fill up whatever the venue is. Yeah. And so I'm like, she might not be coming, which is a bummer. Oh, that is. So you haven't been since kindergarten? No. No, no, no. So do you still see it vividly in your mind?

I have a very distinct memory, and it's when communism ended in Budapest. All of my family, and not just everybody, we were out on the streets, and we were watching the Russians move their military vehicles out. And I remember that, and I told my mom years later, and she's like, I can't believe you remember that. You were two. That was in 1989. But so dramatic. It was dramatic. We were all on the streets, and I'm like, what the heck were we doing out of here?

So they had occupied it and were just all going home. It was communism ending. The Russians were moving out. Wow. That's the earliest memory I have of Hungary. Wow. Yeah. All right.

Dumb question. Yes. Where is Hungary? Center? It's Eastern Europe kind of in the middle. So it's next to Romania? Romania. So Ukraine's to the west?

West and north. I believe. Okay. Poland is north and I'm going to say west. Okay. Oh. But yeah, it's kind of in the center next to Romania, a couple countries, maybe away from Turkey. So from my idyllic film watching of a little Budapest, that would have been before all of the lockdown with communism and stuff.

So that's why it probably looks so picturesque. Yeah. And a lot of the architecture from what I've seen through Bourdain and just travel channels, all of it's still there. So I'm excited to go see it all. It looks really cool. Oh, man. I have an aunt who does a lot of traveling and goes to places that aren't the Barsolonas of the world, you know, the super popular places. and a lot of it is in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union and stuff.

She says these places are so beautiful. Yeah. And nobody knows about them. I mean, tourism is very popular right now, but there's still these countries that just don't. Yeah. You know, other countries get swamped with them to the point where the locals are like water gunny. You see them like in Spain. They're just spraying people from America down.

Hey, maybe we need it, I guess. I don't know. But, yeah, maybe Hungary is not one that's been overpopulated by tourism. Or at least I haven't heard about them. Yeah. I would like to go. Any place that has Borsht and Schnitzel and that kind of stuff, it sounds like a good place to visit. Cuisine is my main reason for any type of travel.

Do you identify as Hungarian? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's most. You carry it? Yeah. Yeah, that's most of my. lineage my father's side they're Hungarian gypsies so like you know they're a gypsies are a mixture of everybody right so I've never done a 23 and me but I'm sure it's just a a mess of what does that

mean a Hungarian gypsy like what would that really that means they're on the move they're always on the move and well they're supposed to be a nomadic group without a home right technically right and yeah grown up I didn't even know that was like a negative thing yeah like my mom always told me with like an upward inflection, you're half gypsy. Isn't that cool? Right. And then I remember I told a teacher and I saw her face. She's like, don't use that word. And I came home and I told my mom, she goes, yeah, not a lot of people like the gypsy. And I was like, why would you tell me it's such like a positive? She wanted me to feel positive. But yeah. So I have to put my little symbols away, my little, my little thumb clippy,

clapies? Do I have to stop pickpocketing in school? Why do I have an urge to caravan? I have an urge to caravan. It's a lot of that. Yeah. So is his family still around? My father said.

Can we not find them? Yeah, my parents split when I was a baby, so I never met my dad. I just know of them through what my mom said. Musician comes from family musicians. And that's kind of his background. Wow. Isn't it funny that or odd that like a musician, like you could say traveling musician. Yeah.

Just following his destiny, living off the land just as this artist. Yeah. It sounds so wonderful. Or he'd be like, he's a gypsy. That's all you have to say. Tone, right? Tone matters. Tone matters a lot.

Yeah, you either just described your father as Bob Dylan or crazy carnie folk. Exactly. And he could be both. It is weird how you end up following in your parents' footsteps even if you don't know them. Weird. Because I remember I was working cruise ships years ago. And then my mom was like, you know, that's where your dad played music. Yeah.

It was part of the orchestra on the cruise ship. And I go, really? What are the odds that we're both on the ship entertaining people we probably hate? And like, what an odd connection to this man I haven't met, you know. Is he still alive? As far as I know. Yeah, like, I have, like, no connection with him. Have you ever thought about finding him?

That's the weird thing. I don't, like, have the gumption to try. Right. And I think it's because I didn't meet him. Did you grow up with a stepfather? Not real. Kind of, not really. Uh-huh.

Like, my younger brother has a dad, Carlos, who's been in my life. now that I think about it for 30 years. And he and I are cool, but, like, we weren't super close. It wasn't like a dad bond. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't like that. Right.

Yeah. So in the absence of that, though, you didn't have a desire to go try and find out this other dude. No. My wife is blown away by this. She's like, you're not interested. Like, you don't have an inkling? What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I don't know.

I just, I don't, it's because I never met him. Yeah. And maybe if I knew him until I, I was five or six, I'd be like, where is this guy? Right, yeah. I just don't, I don't have it. And maybe it's also, not to psychoanalyze, but if you were content and being raised in a way that you didn't feel a lack or an absence of something.

Right. Maybe there wasn't a thing like, I got to go find this because mom's really blowing it. I was really happy with what, she was always supportive of my dumb dreams. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was like, well, you have to go try, go try. Most comics, when their parents found out that they were trying to get into comedy, were usually not too positive. I don't know if your parents were.

But my mom was like, yeah, yeah, I think you're funny. Go try. You said dumb dreams. Was there another dream also? I mean, she did pick on the other one, but the original dream was professional wrestling. And she's like, that's dumb. You would have to be the most open-minded, coolest mom. in the world to be like, good for you.

Wow. I mean, and not to cast dispersions, but you're not 6-8-3-50. I thought I was, I thought, like, you know, when you're a kid, you're like, well, growth spurts happen later. Sometimes you grow later, and then I didn't really take a good look at my mom and the fact that she's four foot nine and just the tiniest scosh of a person. I'm like, well, maybe my dad was really tall. Turns out that wasn't a kid.

Yeah, I grew up in the trailer park, and those guys are like idols. Yeah. That's who you look up to. You're like, oh, the rock. Wouldn't that be awesome if I was the rock? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Why is it the, yeah, why is it that it's the trailer park level of society that has that aspiration that wrestling touches?

I think is pro wrestling is kind of poor man's theater. And so you, just like theater captures other people's attention, poor man's theater wrestling catches the trailer park's attention. You're like, oh, I'd like to be the actor in this drama. How cool would that be? Yeah. I think that's what it is. I mean, for the same reason, stand-up captured my attention watching Comedy Central Presents

grown up and watching David Tells Insomniac. Like, he gets to travel the country at these clubs and then go out at night and see what's going on. That's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what a life. Amazing. And so what's how?

If this hurts, tell me. No, no, no. But when did the professional wrestling dream die? It died fully. That's actually what helped me get into stand-up. It'd be funny if you just said, it hasn't. Why did you say that?

It hasn't. What do you think I'm here to promote? I'm here to challenge Jake Paul to something. No, it was, I was 19. I was getting ready to go to wrestling school. is out here yeah I was like saving my money but I had a bad shoulder I have like an arm that's longer than the other I'm a real freak and I was gonna go get surgery done and I was gonna be in a cast or a sling for like six weeks I'm like well I have to do something while I recuperate so before surgery I went and went to my first open mic and I just I fell in love with it I kept going and then I ended up booking the show that would have landed near my surgery date and I was like actually books and it wasn't you know it was a little bar show or something but it meant the work but it meant the work to me. Yeah. And so I canceled my surgery. Never got my shoulder fixed. And then the dream just pivoted to stand up. And then we went after stand up. Wow. That's amazing. So you were that

close. I was close to going to wrestling school. But that would be an investment that would have in success or failure. You're going to go in that direction for a while. Yes, at least for a while. And I'm glad I was blessed with a bad shoulder. Yeah. And I don't know if you ever look at your life and go, there must be something up there that's at least nudging me and closing doors but leaving others open and just kind of going that way, dummy. Yeah. Go that way. We know professional wrestling youth is kind of funny.

Yes. But this is even funnier. This is funnier and you're not an athlete. So you can just talk. Were you not an athlete? No. So where you, I mean, for you to be able to go to be like checking out the website for this wrestling school, you've got to be physically somewhat...

You would think. Not at all? I mean, I was trying. I was like going to the gym all the time. I had those protein shakes. I went and bought these giant amino acid pills. I would choke those down every morning. Creatine that gave me awful gas and I'd just be farting at work.

And I'm like, it's the creatine. Were you getting bigger? I was getting bigger. It wasn't like noticed. It was, it was if you grade on a curve and you, looked at my body and no one else's before and after you're like oh you look better than you did but compared to actual wrestlers you look nothing like these individuals you just look like you you're like a average fit guy at a warehouse did you have in your mind a character like what your

angle would have been you know oddly enough i didn't i think i think i i just thought i was going to be this guy, Sean Michaels, who's this, who's this, like, sex symbol? And I'm like, well, that's obviously who I'm going to be, even though I've never been that in my entire life, but things will switch once the tights get on, you know? And I think that's as far as I thought about it. Right. It's weird, these, like, obsessions I've gotten into, and then they just don't go away. Like, I've always been one of those people that I don't, I'll grow things. Uh-huh. So whether the wrestling dream, the only reason I stopped is because comedy took over that obsession. Yeah.

But the comedy obsession has been there since I was a kid too and you just don't, I'll grow it. Yeah, I like this. You were just kind of dialed in on it kind of fit. Yeah. Do you have another obsession that you, that's not career-wise, that you haven't let go? I mean, I still like the same music that I did from, I mean, I'm still a huge Metallica fan. I think they're the best band that's ever been a band. Yeah.

And I'm loyal, too. Like when people jump off a bandwagon, like, oh, wrestling's lame now, or Metallica, maybe they're early stuff. I'm like, you're not a real fan. Yeah, it's good. I like that. You're sitting through the rough albums if you're a real fan. Yeah, right, exactly. So, yeah, like, there's, like, a sense of loyalty to my fandom.

Yeah. I feel, I wish more people had. I know. I was just talking about this. It's, yeah, if I have, if somebody's created something great. Yeah. I'm with you. That's it.

I'll watch everything that you've got. Anything else you'll give me, I'll show up for. I see it in stand-up so much. Yeah. Where name any giant comedian, and they're like, yeah, like, maybe these are really specials, but everything from here on, not so much. And it's like, you realize you're comparing this comedian that you think highly of against themselves. You're not even comparing them against other comedians.

You're comparing them against their previous work. Yeah. So it's this weird. weird, I don't know, I just feel like it's like a level of disloyalty. Yeah. It is disloyalty. Yeah. Yeah, because there's definitely people that are just in for the long haul and they're just whether, I remember seeing Bono talk about that in the Pavarotti documentary.

And he was upset that people later in Pavarotti's career were saying, well, his voice isn't the same. it's crackles now he's like he's 65 now and how beautiful is that that you hear that guy who you love now have those defects and those things and the age and all the stuff that comes with it I mean how beautiful is that to see that version of him it's it's incredible that people think vulnerability is a negative yeah he's showing that this monster voice has growth to it. Right. Yeah.

And he's, and he's still out there. Yeah. I don't know. There's something admirable, I think, about that. Yeah, absolutely. I did a,

I hosted, for some reason they had comedians host Woodstock 99. You did. Was that the one the way everyone went crazy? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I don't know where the call came from. I started commenting in 93. So in Woodstock 99, I was standing on the stage in front of 100,000 people. bringing up Whitecliffe John. Whoa.

Yeah. Did you know that? When Kid Rock came out? Yes. That was like the big, big moment. Kid Rock was huge for me. He represented the trailer part. Yeah.

He's the one person I haven't been loyal to. That's on him. Yeah, that's on him. But that's crazy. When he comes out, that was like the moment. Everyone knew that this was going to be of everybody that day that he was going to be the guy that exploded. Yeah. And he did.

And he met the moment. and it was so gigantic because his album had just come out like a couple of months before and then he 100,000 people would suck 99. Anyway, if you go on YouTube and you watch his entrance,

he comes out with the fur coat and the... And no abs. Yeah, and just... Just flappy and I'm like, this gets awesome. Yeah. And slow it down in the very beginning

and you'll see a young Tom Papa and a Bob Marley T-shirt standing at the curtain opening. Wow. Yeah, that was my... my big moment to be on stage when he did it. Yeah. And now a word from our sponsors. This podcast is sponsored by The Good People at the Perfect Gene. Okay, everyone's got jeans. I just literally just did this. I went through my closet and I was like, I have probably eight pairs of jeans.

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When you go buy nice jeans and you pay too much, you have to get them. them tailored. You have to go and get them all because they have this giant long. It's annoying. Finally, jeans without the annoyance, the perfect gene. Go check them out. Today's podcast is brought to you by nambay.com. Nambay, the makers of this and the makers of this. This is all stuff that Nambay and Tompapa designed. It's a new line of bread tools. I'm sure you've heard me talk about it a lot. And we designed these. beautiful, beautiful bread tools, baking tools. You don't have to bake bread, it could be for anything.

Here's my secret recipe. And they're fantastic, and they're beautiful, and people love them, and you will love them too. It's also brought to you by The Good People at tompapa.com. My whole tour, the 2026 tour, is on sale. We're going everywhere. We're going to Florida. We're going to California. We're going to Minneapolis.

We're going to South Carolina. We're going to Portland. Portland, Maine, a whole bunch of things. I mean, I can't even think about it right now because I've been on a plane for the last 10 days. But go to Tompapa.com and look up all that good stuff, and I'll see you out there in 2026. So I'm on stage just as a, me, rich boss,

and somebody else. It was mainly me and Rich Boss. And working both stages and doing all this stuff. It was just a blast. We had no reason to be there. I was like, James Brown came out and started the whole thing, and I'm standing next to, James Brown. I've been doing comedy for six years.

That's insane. And there was no comedy to be had. It was just go out there, introduce someone, and try not to get hit by shoes and bottles. That was it. So you got to be on the stage, rage against the machine, all these other things are like right there. When Metallica showed up to close, I think, the first or second night, it was a whole different thing. Metallica's crew came, their tour managers and crew and it was if you're not part of Metallica get off the fucking stage and they cleared all of us out

and it was a military operation and Metallica came in with their people locked down the stage got their stuff ready and just crushed and destroyed it was like oh the grownups are here yes yes yeah that's enough of this

here comes Metallica you guys thinking you're in rock and roll That's so cool. That's so cool. Wow, I didn't know you were a part of that. Yeah. Your Comedy Central Presents was in that library of the ones that I grew up on. Oh, really?

Yeah, you had one in that era, if I'm not mistaken. I still remember one of the jokes that you did that really stuck with me. Oh, yeah? Where, like, I'm going to butcher it, but it's about being young, and when you're young, you have, like, one pose that you'll do in every photo. Oh, yeah. And then so everything from, like, 19 to 25 is just you coming in. a doorway and just like it was like kind of a swoop and I think that resonated with me because I'm like

I think I'm doing that when I was like 13 or 14 I'm like I did I do that it's funny those like jokes that really stick with you so all through the years and you're like oh yeah yeah yeah you can't let them go yeah it is really strange yeah that's wow yeah the accuracy of it for some reason just hits you at the right time and it just lingers. That's my favorite thing of comedy is just finding those little bits that aren't obvious, but it's something everybody does and somehow, and everyone just relates to that little thing you know. I love those ones because it's also like how did nobody,

so many people have been doing stand-up and looking for ideas. How did everybody miss it with this guy? How did they get where she get that thing that we, it was right there. It was right there. It is pretty amazing. It's true. Yeah. How long you've been doing stand-up in total now?

19. 19, yeah. Next year would be the big... Yeah, it started in 06. So, yeah, 19. And you started where? In San Diego. In San Diego.

Yeah, there was a comedy store in La Jolla wasn't my first set. There's a guy that opened a comedy club in a garage. Right. Because he had a beef with the comedy store. And he gave everyone six minutes at the open mic instead of three. And so I went over there a lot for the extra stage time, and I still went to the comedy store. But those two places, that's where I got my start. Oh, that's great.

Yeah. And where did you tape this special, London Fogg? In Seattle, at the Neptune Theater. Oh, that's the best. It was my first time there. Oh, really? And it was absolutely beautiful. And it's right across from the hotel.

I used to work at the Club Laf's in the U District. And they always put me at the graduate hotel, and I always used to see. stare at the Neptune, which was across the street at the coffee shop. I'm like, man, it'd be cool to perform in that place one day. And then I got to film my special in there. And it was excited. It was one of those nights where I'm like, I'm going to remember this one for a while. It's amazing. I was putting together a special and we were considering the Neptune for some reason. It didn't work out, but it was still on the tour. And I came in to perform there. And it was going to be another month before I did the special. When I was on the stage, I was like,

oh this is a good place it's the bounce that the dynamics of that room were so perfect it doesn't feel big like it's not a huge theater it plays big though it looks big but it feel it felt intimate enough for me yeah

I was scared to film something in a place that was you don't you want to perform you want to you want to film where you perform kind of thing like if I'm used to comedy clubs I don't want to film in a theater because then I'm like what if that feels weird and it's all going to look weird. Yeah.

But it didn't feel big, which was nice. Yeah. But a lot of people are filming specials in that venue. I know. Like, I looked at the calendar, and I was, like, one of four or five comics in the coming months that were filming in that venue. Yeah. I was at the Wilbur in Boston. I saw that. Last week.

Yeah. And I was backstage, and I was, like, telling somebody, you know, I shot my, not the last special, the one before I shot it here. And I was thinking, yeah, I did one, and Norm MacDonald did one here too, and a couple other people. And then the tour manager came in and goes, yeah, they were just telling me

there's been 40 specials shot here. Well, I'm not special. I'll tell you what's not special. Me, doing a special here, I guess. I thought it was me and Norm. 40. You could probably tell on the staff's faces. Yeah, another camera group.

Yeah, special. Yeah. This is going to be the one. Is there a city that you prefer shooting? Has there been a city that you've shot multiple specials in? Because you feel like the audience just is really with you. And it's a good place for you to film. No, I did too in New York.

Okay. That doesn't really count. It's like New York's thing, right? Yeah. And then New Jersey and then Cleveland. and then D.C. Yeah, D.C. is a popular one. Yeah.

They always have good comedy crowds. I know. They're really good. Yeah. That's actually how I feel about Seattle. Seattle always in Portland, that whole Pacific Northwest, I think it's the seasonal depression out there.

For real. It just makes great comedy audiences. Yeah. You need the weather to be just bad enough where there's a cynicism about life. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Because you can go across the upper part of the country

and you can go San Francisco, Portland, Minneapolis, Chicago. And they're all just bangers. I guess we're skipping Buffalo and then get to Boston. But that's true. To your journey, it's not easy to do comedy in San Diego all the time. No. Those people, they have a good life. They have a really good life.

and I guess this is a positive. There's a lot of different types of people because it's a transplant city because of the military. Right. So one positive to it is you could try a joke at a club and in front of the right crowd you're like, oh, I think this joke would work in the Midwest because this has a Midwest-y kind of group to, like vibe to it.

And then you go to another club where it's maybe more city people and you're like, oh, this joke would work well in like a New York, L.A. type place. And you actually got a little sense of the whole country just in different parts of San Diego, depending on who comes. Oh, that's interesting. But yeah, you are right.

There is just a sense of overall happiness. Yeah. And so if someone comes in just trashing everything, eventually someone's going to be like, hey, things aren't that bad. Come on, guy. Yeah, dude, go to the beach. We're all in flip-flops.

Yeah, you're having a great time. And you're like, in my apartment. We'll move Yeah, I always feel in those places when it's really nice Especially in the right time of year That everybody has had a pretty great day And they've got a lot They're tired from the sun

And they're dackeries And they're sex with their partner And now we're capping it off with a comedy show We don't need your angst They don't need That's why summer is the rough time of year for comedy because everyone's had normally a great day. And then they're just like, why are we listening to this guy?

Right, exactly. We have more drinks outside. Why am I coming into the dark to listen to this guy trying to make his rent? Yeah, there is a little bit. But it is true. There is that thing of you have to be in a place to, you have to live in a place almost to know it or visit it with such frequency. Because San Diego still is a little unknowable to me.

Yeah. Or unknown to me. Especially in comedy because Big Brother, you know, L.A. is up there getting all the attention. But yeah, getting started in San Diego was a little hard. Just doing road things. Like guys that get started on the East Coast, you can drive to so many cities. And when you get started working on the road in San Diego, it's Phoenix, Tucson, and Vegas, and all those are five, six-hour drives. Right. And that's the only place you can get paid.

Yeah. So, yeah, your radius of where you can go is you have to cast a wide net and be willing to lose money to try to work the road. Yeah, yeah. You have a huge tour coming up. Oh, yeah. The almost, what's it? I called it the worldwide-ish tour. The worldwide-ish tour.

It's because I get to do some spots in the UK, which is awesome, and some spots in Europe. Oh, nice. It's not quite worldwide because there's many places. we're not going to one day Australia. I think if you're bringing out your passport, you could say worldwide. Yeah. They have to apply me for a visa, for God's sake. Yeah, for one of the countries, I think.

Really? Yeah, like some kind of work visa. So where else? Hungary. Hungary, Berlin. Amsterdam, Paris. We were talking about adding Copenhagen, but I don't think we ended up adding Copenhagen. Are they on sale yet?

Yeah, yeah. What's the best selling of all of them? London sold really well. I added a show in London. Where are you performing there? The Leich-Lichre Square Theater? Yeah, I did that once. It's the only place I did there.

Was it nice? Yeah. It's in like that main really busy, time-squary area. That's what they were telling me. Yeah. Okay. And it's so funny, isn't it? Like you have these ideas of what a place is when you're looking at the website and the map and all the rest of it.

And you get there and it's like, oh, it's the same as all the other. The club in my hometown. Yes. But it is a cool spot. Do you notice a difference between like when you perform in the UK, pacing, timing? Does anything have to adjust? Very little. That's great.

Yeah, for there. Yeah. For there. That's great. You know, there's, yeah. I mean, there's, you know, it's really, the material definitely translates. It's the timing. Yeah.

Sometimes just a little bit slower can kind of help us all get used to have this guy just. talking. Right, right, right. Yeah. Because they're also used to drier comics out there. Yeah. Quick dry. And I'm like, I'm not any of that.

Yeah, you're, I mean, I'm not slow, but I'm also a lot of personality. I don't know. I get into my head a lot before I go, I remember the first time I did Calgary. I'm like, ah. They're not going to get me. They're not going to get me. No, knowing nothing about Calgary. But of course, they're going to hate me.

They're going to hate it. I don't know them. never met anyone from there. I don't know how other people have done, but there's no way that they're going to like me. That's what I tell myself. And then after the first show, I'm like, oh, that went better than I thought. Yeah. F you, Calgary. Yeah. We're going to have a good time. It is pretty interesting, the reach, but I haven't been able to kind of, it's, I don't know, I think if I was, I think of a single and had more time Europe would make more, there seems will be like really big and kind of small.

Yes. So really small means fun shows, great people, no money. Yeah, so I'm not, this is not a financial. This is more like there's people that, there's even a hundred people that would come see me in Amsterdam. Which is amazing. I'll go do that. And then I'm counting it, I'm bringing my wife.

I'm counting it as a vacation. Right. So it's a write off. And that's what I kind of hear is like you do it, go through the first time. And then the next time you come through, maybe you bump up a little bit more. and do it. But isn't that remarkable? It's awesome.

This young professional wrestler from San Diego will have 100 people in Amsterdam waiting for you. It's incredible. It's a dream. If we can go back to that, if I were you and I would be developing my thing and I had one arm longer than the other, how are you not the claw? Those things you can't even control it. You're just there for the interview. ready to go. What if this is the conversation that gets me

to ditch comedy and go back into the world wrestling? Like you said, the universe opens and closes doors for you. Yeah. Boy, would my representation be sad. No more comedy? What are you doing now? Yeah, wrestling. Wrestling. What are you doing? That's ridiculous. You have children? No.

No kids. My wife's younger than me. I'm 38. She's 34. And so we go back and forth on it. And our parents ask. Sure. Repeatedly. Yes. Yeah, repeatedly, subtly. What are we doing here? Kind of thing. You're coming to holidays? Yeah. And you're like, you got a tree? For what? There's no kids here. You know?

Those kind of questions. Do you really need a gym? How about a crib in that room? I did notice that when my in-laws came to visit, my wife's Persian. And so they speak mostly Farsi. They speak English, but they're very fluent in Farsi, obviously. Yeah. And we're kind of giving them a tour of our place, and they saw that the second bedroom is a podcast studio.

They saw that the garage was a gym. And I could tell they didn't say it, but they were like, what are they doing here? They are selfish people. How do they say selfish and Farsi? I think I might have heard it. If I could only track down the word, I think I'd

definitely heard it that weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. On the days where you think you might do it. Yeah. Where's your head at? I think the fear, I'll go to that, because it seems nice. Anytime I see people with kids during the nice times, I'm like, that's really good.

Right. It's when I watch a guy handle stress well. Mm-hmm. Like a dad fumbling with the car seat, loading a plane, kids everywhere, sweat coming down his brow. and his kid asks him something and he goes yes sweetie i go that's not me that's not how i would handle that and that part scares me why how would you response be something bad like it's not talking yeah shut up i'm wrestling the stroller can't you see and you want to do the stroller

you want to do this dollar? And I don't... You fold it up and I'll answer you about snacks. I'm just... I watch people be good parents. Yeah. Good modern parents that keep their cool and handle things so well

and I'm like, if I felt like I could be like that at least 80% of the time, then I'd be like, let's go for it. But thankfully, my wife's on the same page I am. I say we're like 70, 30, 70% not having... kid 30% and then that 30 is like slowly growing oh yeah um but yeah we kind of go we're kind of on this we're on the same page right yeah yeah it's a big one it's a big question what old are you when

you had your first kid um i was uh in my 30s so you had already on the road comedy full time yeah okay yeah yeah yeah so i started in 93 and wasn't really working until like 98. Man, that's so, that's fast. That's really good. Yeah, it was pretty quick. Yeah. And that's when we got together,

and we had our first daughter in 2002. Oh, okay. So 98 to 2002, I was touring and starting to do stuff. That's great. And then it just got and got folded into that. Yeah. yeah i i mean like money-wise it feels okay like i feel like if we were you're a big hit yeah i mean if if we had a kid i'd be like uh i think we can we can afford this so this is okay

which is very uh which is not where a lot of people are when they have their first kid exactly and that i mean i wasn't raised that way you know everything was second-hand and what the hell's going on but uh i love that just as a play just a just family planning of just what the hell is going on and no one has an answer no one has an answer my mom told me that she for a while when we moved here we didn't have a bank account so she kept all the cash under the mattress that we slept on wow and i was like i didn't know that she goes yeah why would i tell you you were sick until you were sleeping on cash but it definitely felt like we were sleeping on like it felt like it felt like things weren't steady yeah yeah yeah we were always on the move

There wasn't always a lot of cash under there. No. She wasn't lying all the time. A lot of times it was just a bed. That should be the name of a credit union. It's just a bed. Yeah, so financially you'd be there. Yeah, I think that would be fine.

I guess it's just my generation, I feel like it's a millennial issue. We're just naturally, we're immature. We were like, I read, this is a bit I'm doing on stage, but I found out that I was middle-aged through a news article. After I placed a bid on eBay for an action figure for my childhood, I saw a news article headline that said millennials are handling midlife crisis differently than previous generations. And then that's how I found out I was middle-aged. And then I was like, how do you mean? And then I went back to eBay and I'm like, oh, I'm buying an action figure from my childhood. This is my mid-life crisis.

This is our sports car This is our leather jacket This is our hair dye And it's kind of Like our ideal age is like nine Really? Like my general Not everyone in my generation

But this article was saying A lot of people in my age group Are heavily set in the 90s And when we were kids And everything felt good And you're like That's why a lot of us can't grow up That's why you see a lot of 40 year old men

With X-Men T-shirts Like we're stuck in that 90s. They're not wrong. Right. It's an accurate article. As a nation, that was the last time things felt okay. That's a deeper.

The 90s were very different. It was had its, you know, aggravations or whatever. But it wasn't an existential thing. For when you, you know, they're not wrong. When you add up 9-11, start it with 9-11, and then you guys, you guys. go from that through all the stuff that we've gone through and global warming stress really hits and banks crashing yeah and then social media and social media drumming all that into your head all the time and then covid which was much bigger than we're all acting like it it it rocked us it was it was

the whole world saying are we dying yeah is a very profound thing that we don't really talk about because everyone just wanted to get past it. Craving 1995 X-Men times. It's kind of badass. Get it. Jordan was king. The world made sense. It's a big, comfy blanket

with some chamomile tea. Not wrong. My wife asked me, because she's not a big fan of watching movies and TV shows over again. And I love it. I love watching movies that I've already seen. And she goes, what do you love about it?

You've already seen it. And I said, I like knowing what's coming. Yeah. There's something comforting and knowing what the next line is going to be. The next scene is going to be. The rest of the day, I don't know what's coming. And it's kind of scary. Yeah.

Knowing that John Candy is going to say this next line and this next scene makes me feel good. Right. As opposed to watching some new movie where you're like, oh, geez, what's going to happen? Don't go up there. Don't go up there. Oh, what was that Irish movie that was really? popular a couple years ago. Banshees and Shearin?

It was, it was, not Colin. It was an actress, Redhead, very sweet. I don't know. This is a dad moment. But it was very, it was this very sweet Irish film,

and some of her friends have gone to the U.S. And she doesn't know if she wants to go to the U.S. And she's in love with someone, and he's going to come back. And it's her in that little Irish town trying to figure out life. And the whole time, my wife and I were just gripping the couch. Like, a guy walks into the scene, you're like, oh, here we go.

Here we go. This is when it's going to, oh, God, here we go. Nothing ever happened. There was nothing bad ever happened. And we were so shocked that we're so programmed for just death to walk into the room or the threat of it. That where are we? Where we think that the worst is going to happen. Yeah.

That's very true. That's most movies. It's most people's like energies towards a day. It's like, oh, God. That's why no one answers. No one answers the phone. Yeah. The phone rings.

You're like, I don't even want to know what that is. Don't answer that. It's not going to be good. That's never good. No one just calling to say, hey. Hey, we have a problem. That's normally what it is. Yeah, it's a real...

Zaltan. Is this you? Do you live at... Oh, shit. Why do you want to know? I do live here. Yeah. But let's play devil's advocate

with the big decisions of life. Yes. Okay, 1990 was this kind of sweet spot of like, especially in this country, of feeling like... we're untouchable from the big tragedies that the rest of the world has. You roll back in time, you know, bring up any, the World War II, the Depression, World War I, the Civil War, all talking locally, and then where you came from, you know, insanely crazy. A lot scarier. Way worse. No social media telling you.

the ins and outs of why it's really scary on a daily basis. What do you think is different? They were popping babies out, like crazy back then. Yeah. Like my grandparents lived through two World Wars, and they still had a bunch of kids. Yeah. And it's like, what?

Was it out of necessity back then? It's not like they had a farm. Yeah. But they still did. It wasn't really a choice. Yeah. People weren't sitting around going, should we or shouldn't we?

You know what else I will say? I'll tell you what, I'm sorry to interrupt. Oh, no, go ahead. They didn't have a gym in their garage. That's very true. Also, I was going to say two things. One, we were the first generation,

I think, that they really hammered safe sex into our heads as kids. For me, starting from fifth grade, AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, safe sex, abstinence from fifth grade through graduation. So like accidents are happening less. On top of that, we had parents that were oddly honest with us about how much we've set their lives back. You mix, I could have a potentially better life without kids and you eliminate the likelihood of, oops, I'm pregnant. Yeah.

You end up being 38 with no kids and you're buying an action figure on eBay going, should I, shouldn't I? Yeah. It's, I think, a lot of those things, they took whoopsies out of there. Ah. That's interesting. I think they might have made a mistake on that. Yeah. It might have been worth the little AIDS.

They can treat it now, right? Yeah, people seem to be doing better with it. it's a global thing though it is you know i was reading about how uh they were trying to come up with ways to get people to have more babies yeah as a just a which is kind of a that's another question i haven't answered in my own head of they keep saying that you need more like it seems like we're kind of at max like we're eating up all the resources and gobbling up all the money and i can't park at trader jo's right uh it seems like we're good on people but they say that if you don't keep increasing, that it doesn't sustain, which I don't know that,

I don't know that math. The economy, meaning like, it's the economy that it starts to shrink and people start to suffer more, more than they are now with us gobbling up all the resources. And then the polar bear comes back. I don't know. There are benefits to us being less of us. Yeah, you would think. I don't see, I can see billionaires being upset about like lineage-wise. Like, how are we going to continue making this much money if we have less people to sell stuff? Well, if I'm being perfectly honest, I think this theory came from Elon Musk. Oh, did it?

Yeah, I think now that you're saying. He's always talking about that. And he's trying hard. He has like 8,000 kids. He's doing his part. Yeah, he's trying. He's doing his part for sure. He's like, I'll sell to my own family.

I don't care. Whatever it takes. But it is a global thing. And to think of it as a global thing of varying degrees of comfort and privilege for it to be kind universal that people are having fewer children. I hate to always go back to social media, but if we're all looking on TikTok as young people and seeing like,

why would you bring a baby into all of this? That could be the most successful ad campaign going on right now. Because it really is, yeah, even people that come from good families and whatever, they're all kind of faced with that end calculus of, You want to bring a kid into here? Because it seems like it's all ending. Which it's not.

But if you're sitting in World War II and you're in the subway in the UK and bombs are raining over your head and you're still like, we're going to have another baby. We need someone from the future to come back and go and just go, hey, guys, it's going to keep going. Yeah. It's going to get worse. But it's also going to keep going. You're going to be all right. You can have kids. Yeah.

Yeah. It'll be okay. Well, to wrap up this point and make myself seem somewhat cool. There you go. We were going to have kids. My wife's a comedian, was a comedian, and we weren't sure if we were going to do it or not. And then we decided, well, we don't want to, we don't want to, our whole thing is experiencing life. As artists, you're just experiencing life. And why would we pass on the big one?

Yeah. This was kind of an intellectual way of as being like, we just love each other and let's make more of us. Yeah. But that's what we said at the time. It was like, why would we pass on that, right? Right. Because we're talking each other into it. And then 9-11 happened right as we were like getting ready to start trying.

Yeah. And you have everyone, we had a pause of like, do we want to bring kids into this? And again, this is the intellectual reason for it when it was probably. our hormones, our DNA just going, you're making more. Get your head, catch up, brain. But the thing we said out loud was, all right, this is pretty effed up, what just happened, what's going to happen to the world, better make some more good guys. Oh, yeah. That was it. That's a good, I like that. Yeah, let's not give in to whatever heinous stuff we see on the horizon.

Right. Let's add some more good people and see what they're. they can do. And one of those people just cost me $800 for a rabbit. That's a good person. It is a good person. She didn't charge it behind your back. No, she called. She called you. She asked for permission. That's a good person. We do a thing on this program called an uncomfortable moment. Okay. Now, this is uncomfortable for a couple reasons. And yeah, I'm pretty right on why it's going to be uncomfortable. You know, it's just, like, we're friends.

I respect you as a comedian, and it's all good. But, you know, we take a deep dive on this program. There's only two other people on the staff, so you can tell which one probably did it. And we find things and come up with things. and we asked the internet to come up with a tour for the two of us. Oh. It's uncomfortable because of what it named the tour,

and it's even more uncomfortable by, well, I'm not sure this is you. It came back with Tom and his Hungarian friend. Oh, my God. World tour. And that's not you, right? That is not me. Who is that guy? I don't know.

It's what the internet thinks you are. Oh, these are, I always think these AI images, you specifically, that's not me at all. You specifically is like the person you see when you dream about somebody and their face is off. You're like, I think I was talking to Tom Papa, but it wasn't Tom Papa. Why does he have that neck? I mean, I love the tour idea. Tom and his Hungarian friends. Hungarian friend. It's going to take up the entire marquee. This is just in markets, this is in markets like

where I'm popular, like New Jersey. Yeah. Well, Cleveland, a lot of Hungarians. Right. That'll help. Then it will be Zoltan and his Italian-American friend. Yeah, then they'll have it. And we just flip-flop, which is actually not that uncomfortable. No, that could definitely work. And it's humbling for both of us. We just do 20 in the beginning and get to hang out. Well, the other guy's got to do all the lift. I love it. But we always split the money. Yes. Yes. 50-50. But you're You're going to have to fight this guy who the internet thinks is Zoltan. Oh, my. You just asked Chet, GPT or whatever, and that that's what they can.

Good God. I feel, you know what that looks like when I used to live here and I'd go on auditions? I'd be in a room of, like, 10 of those guys. And I'd be like, ah. Even if I can read, I don't know if I'm getting this one. That was uncomfortable. Yeah, for all the. I told you.

Yeah. For all the people I think putting yourself on tape is a lame way to audition. Walk into a room full of... I prefer it. 20 U's. Those were rough. Those were rough. And now I just set up a camera in a hotel while cleaning ladies walk by and go,

why is he yelling? Why is he yelling the same line a hundred times? Why is it when you're practicing your lines you think everyone in the world can hear you? You can be in your car. Yeah, I know. And you're just like, why did you say that to me? Why did you say that to me? Oh, that guy's looking at me.

That guy hears me. No, he doesn't. Oh, yeah. I did one where the opening line was, Hey, Marky, baby. How are you? They definitely heard it. Everyone heard it.

Everyone heard it. Even when you didn't say, just walked to the store, they just read it on your face. They're like, he's been yelling, hey, Marky baby. He is desperate. He wants this role.

Desperate. Well, I'm glad you didn't get cast in a lot of stuff because your stand-up is great. Thank you. And you're killing it. I'm very happy with the stand-up. Yeah. Anything else is purely extra.

And I'll still take it. Yeah, and take it. And it definitely helps to fuel the... Sure. More people knowing you for your stand-up. Yeah. Yeah, definitely, hopefully. What was now remembering?

Yes. Because you... She didn't pass you at the seller, but then you were doing, like a sold out show at a pretty big place in New York. At the Grammarcy. Like within the month or something. Yeah, same month.

Because it was the New York Comedy Festival. Right. And that show went well. It was sold out. I wish you would have seen that. It was sold out at the Gramercy. I'm like, I was like, really? Not my career has always worked backwards in the sense that I feel like

any time I've gotten something, it's always been five years later than I feel like I should have gotten that. Which I'm fine with. It just means I'm over-prepared. I've never been under-prepared for anything. Right. I remember the first time I did a road gig, I had to open with 35 minutes, and I had 45, and it went really well, and the headliner was like, wow, you were funny the whole time. And I was like, thank you.

And they're like, yeah, normally these guys only have eight minutes, and then they bomb for the next 27 minutes. And I go, oh, yeah, I would never agree to that. unless I had the exact amount of time that I thought would do well. I'd like to be prepared. Yeah, I like to prepare a little. But yeah, yeah, it is funny how that works. She said no, and she wasn't wrong based on the set she saw.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Gramercy was awesome. Yeah, and it'll come around again. And like I say, then people are just, it'll be like, they don't even believe that you didn't pass the first time. Like you could be like, no, remember and you didn't pass? No, you've always, I've always liked you. You were passed before you moved here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that, I always thought that too. It's like anytime they said no and you thought you were ready, I always equated it to a slingshot. And it's like, all right, I'm ready. They're like, no, but further.

And you're, all right. And by the time they let you release it, you're so much stronger than if they had said here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it usually works out that way. Especially now, I sometimes feel for comics that blow up really quick in the first couple years because of, you know, Instagram or something. And I'm like, man, I'm really glad that didn't happen to me. Because I would have been so terrified. I wouldn't have been ready.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it all happens for a reason. Yeah. Yeah. But then they're going to experience it in a different way because I'm sure a bunch of comics back in the day. Oh, yeah. So-and-so got on the Tonight Show way earlier than everybody else and they figured it out too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Have you ever been to Berlin? No. No, we went to Germany. We went to Moonster and Cologne. Yeah, we went over there. It was cool. Yeah. My friend was just in Berlin. He loved it. Everyone says Berlin's awesome. Yeah. Munich. I hear a lot of good things about. Yeah. All of that part of Europe has just this, the architecture is beautiful. The people are cold until you get to know them. And then they're like incredibly warm. Oh, yeah. And you're like, it's like the doors open. It's like the cathedral doors open.

You're like, oh, it's nice in here. Yeah. It was so mean outside. And it's just, it's cool to experience. Americans have the opposite. We're like super friendly, inviting, and then we'll go cold. Yeah. And then they bring you in your house, you're like, you have a bunker with ammunition.

And you're like, yeah, come hold it. And you're like, I don't want to do anything. I guess we shouldn't be friendly with everybody. This is kind of weird. There's a lot of that. Yeah. Well, congratulations again on the special. It's great.

In your 12-hour drive back to San Diego, I hope that the bread will sustain you when you're stuck in traffic and not moving. My wife's going to see how the bread started, and then she's going to see what she ends up with. Just a handful. It's going to look like a raccoon's hat at it. Well, this is what's left. Took nice little chunks. Awesome. Well, this was great.

Thank you for having. I'm glad we got to spend some time. Yeah. And come back often. Definitely. I love to. All right.