Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Bonus 279 : Bicentennial Man

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Bicentennial Man

All right, we're going. Severely depressed after watching new SNL. Really bad. Sitting on your microphone? Yeah, I like it. Keeping it warm for you. And smelly. No, no.

That's that's uncalled for now. I mean, you're more depressed now. Because things are already going pretty bad for you. Yeah. Because I put on SNL and was like, this is cheer you up, buddy. Tiana Taylor, your favorite. I mean, I got nothing against her.

sure yeah you change your tune now you're the one who hates her you said you hate her why exactly that's what I want to know why do you hate her I love old perfidia

she's great you know Perfidia yeah you know what that's from her character once in one time no one battle after another

oh you idiot I got a mix up with Margo Robbie I'm sorry idiot idiot idiot Idiot. Well, look, my head's kind of fried today. I, yesterday now, I do this a lot, okay, where I get up early, I do some good stuff, you know, so I did a bit writing, I did some push-ups and all that. I was like, you know, I'm going to reward myself with seven hours of house. Uh-huh. I watch house just all day on the couch eating chips. Like, well, I did ten push-ups earlier, so it's okay.

You did ten push-ups? Yeah. Where? On the floor. In your bedroom? Oh, here. Oh, here? Yeah. Oh. The tempo shops, not all at once, you know, over space of like, of 10 days. Yeah, yeah.

And they're rewarded myself, you know. Just eating loads of pizza and chips and fizzy drinks on the couch, watching House, being like, look at that fat fuck. Oh, Dr. House, he's not healthy. He should be shocked. Call him a pig and tell him to kill himself. Go on. Yeah. Well, Dr. House is so cool.

He sure is. Man, so I started watching House again recently because Hugh Lorry shows. up in a different TV show, all right? The night manager. Are you watching that, are you? Yeah, I mean, it's a John La Carrey thing. Oh, yeah? But I'm not happy with it.

You love it, do you? No, it's too sexy. Okay. Because John LaCarray, the whole thing is he's not Ian Fleming, all right? His characters aren't cool spies. His characters are fat, depressed,

they lie around all day. They like, you know, Oh, watching house. Yeah, they're like, oh, Russian spies, who gives a fuck? Yeah. Yeah, and they're cucks as well. Okay.

That's George Smiley. His wife's always getting pipe by someone else. He's like, honey, please don't get piped by that Russian spy.

Sorry, Brosky. She just loves the deep digging, bro. He's hitting the back of the Berlin wall.

My dear, I didn't know you were a squatter. Neither did I until I met you slough. Oh my God, bro.

I hope you got the rubber sheep, brother. Well, that's good, okay? that, right? That's what John LeCarrie should be. John LeCarrie would love that.

But the night manager is Tom Hiddleston as the main character. He's too sexy. I don't know why, but I don't like Tom Hiddleston. He just doesn't have it. I don't have a rationale. I can't even back up my argument. Something about him. This makes he want to take a brick to his face and his mother's face while I'm at it.

Well, that's perfectly reasonable, okay? I'm your psychiatrist, by the way, all right? Because that's your Irish DNA. and you can just sense poshness off him, you know. But you need you have anything like, so Tom Hollanders in the show as well, Night Manager, that's who should be a John Lackarid character, kind of like a

loser, he wouldn't pay attention to him, you know, but like, fucking Hiddleston, you know, he walks in, he's wearing like a suit, okay, he's got his hair perfect, it's like, oh, is he a spy, is he? Oh, the really handsome guy that everyone's looking at and everyone loves. Yeah.

And he's like swimming and he gets out and he's like toweling himself, the little droplets shining down you know. A good spy goes Audotus, is that the thing? Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. No, he's walking and doing

like yoga and suffering all the women, you know, and all men and women are squirting nonstop. That's how he defeats the evil Afghanistan, yeah, I think he's in Afghanistan, you know? So all the terrorists like, oh, no, no, no. They're squirting too hard.

They stop believing in Allah. Oh my God, bro. Look at his tight body. I'm coming so hard. Oh, la la la. Yes, just as John LeCarray intended. Yeah, well, I don't know. Hiddleston, I think I saw him dancing on a chat show

and it rubbed me the wrong way. Why are you dancing right now? It ruined your whole year, didn't it? Yeah. There's a couch there for you to sit on and answer questions that the host asks you. There's no need for dancing like a buffoon. This is a Graham Norton show. Show some fucking respect.

yeah i do know now you get excited with this now i think amazon have bought the rights to uh some of the smiley material george smiley i think is uh i forget which books now okay but you're going to do adaptation with tom walmsgams okay i can see him if he played a bit more like a loser kind of yeah yeah yeah put a little bit of weight as well you know yeah because that's that's what really should be you know okay uh but yeah

but anyway the point is okay in the night manager Tom Hiddleston, it's got a great cast of Musta now, so Tom Hiddleston's like the spy, okay? Olivia Coleman's like his like, you know, God damn it, take the bloody shot. You know, she's like the woman in the control room. Yeah, yeah. Go, go, you bloody fool.

No survivors. And it's got... Kill the children, kill them all now. Especially the disabled ones. They've gods of mistakes. Murder them all now. For king and country. My word, my dear, you're getting me hot under the collar right now.

And then Hugh Lorry's like the villain. He's like, I just love selling guns to brown people. I don't even do it for money. I just do it for fun. And he's selling guns like terrorists and stuff like that. And I don't know how much I should say here, but maybe people are telling lies in the spy show. Maybe there are some duplicitous goings on.

Maybe the real villain is. isn't the brown people, okay? No, you've got that wrong, pal. The messaging has went clearly over your head. This is BBC bullshit, okay? No, maybe it's actually the British government that are making money off these arms deals. Wrong, fake news.

No, this is just your typical communist, liberal hippie agenda, Brian. Wokey pokey bullshit, yeah, I'm lapping it up, yeah. Like I'm saying, oh, I don't like it when Tom Hilsson's swimming. Oh, I hate it. I just keep rewinding over and over again. What a terrible thing. Look at how the water droplets just course down his tight body. Oh, terrible.

I'm sending death threats, you know, Vod? Who? From fresh meat. Oh, right. He's married to her. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you don't deserve her, you fucking bitch.

He deserves a nice boy from Carlo. Anyway, yeah. A spy who's son. too much dick that's me so what are we talking about SNL

Tiana Taylor or something Right Why do they're Oh so house House Sorry sorry Yeah So I was like

Get your fucking head in the game Will you For Christ's The point is Hugh Laurie's very good And he's like Oh tell you how sir Yes Oh I just love

The more innocents Die the better Ha ha ha Prophets of I worship Yes But not Profits is in the Bible, profits in

how much money, money, like, uh, profit. Yeah, I get it. Good, good, good, go in there. I was going to spell out. I was like, are they spelled differently? They are, yes. Prophets with a pH.

Uh-huh. Good job. You got it. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to go watch House. Everybody watched House. You know, it's a huge show. It's like, yeah.

And so you watched the pilot yesterday, all right? And the pilot's pretty, you know, because, you know, House is like, you know, he's lovable, but he's a little bit, you know, not PC. He's very much not PC. Yeah.

So, they're not people. I don't care. They're going to steal the equipment. Derek Chauvin did nothing wrong. Oh, House, you can't say that. So, like, the very first episode, the whole thing is, like, he's got his three little, kind of like followers, all right?

There is Chase, the Australian. Uh-huh. There is Cameron, the woman. And then there is a, old foreman who is the either the dark one he's affirmative action he is that's house just calls him all these names oh okay yeah he's just like hey look at that hey look at affirmative action over there he he ha ha ha ha now clean my shit and like poor old doctor form is like come on house don't do that come on yeah hey look literally one episode he's like hey maybe we'll just start calling

forming a spade yeah and he's like look just like a black like janet there's like a black like janet or something. He looks there like, yeah. That's right. I'm Dr. Howes, well. I can have you fired. Come on, test me. I got tenure. Yeah. Yeah, he's like way over the top, okay?

And also he's like, so it's a black doctor, Mr. Dr. Foreman. He's like, yeah, I need a doctor with street smarts. Oh. I went to Harvard. Yeah, sure. Yeah, well, stealing from there. Stealing Harvard? The movie was Tom Green and Jason Lee.

Huh? You ever seen it? It's actually pretty good. But it's crazy the way he treats his poor doctor. And the doctor never goes like, could you please stop? Yeah. Could you treat me like a human being? I didn't know you were soft.

Yeah. And he also like he's like, so at one stage he wants him to break into a patient's house. Oh. Yeah, he's like, I know who I know could break into houses. Why does he want to break into his house? Just for fun. No, he wants like, it's very silly. wants to check the medicine, you know?

He's like, we can get the key off him. No, we don't need the key. We got this black guy. And then so in the poor woman, okay, Cameron, he's literally like in the very first episode, Dr. House is like, you're beautiful, but you're also a doctor. Beautiful women don't become doctors.

You must be very damaged. Were you molested, were you? The daddy touch your little butt. Oh, Doctor House. You're still a little. lovable. Oh my God. Yeah, it's crazy.

And then, like, we watched an episode together this morning, okay? And the whole plot is like a 50-year-old girl has checked in. Yeah, she's like a teen model. Yeah, yeah. And house the whole time is like, hey, look at those little perky breasts, yeah.

Tight butt. Hey, no. If she was my daughter, I'd still bang her, yeah. Speaking of which, the dad probably banged her. Yeah, so it turns out he did. Yeah, so, like, it rewards bad behavior. So he's like, she's so hot, she's got a little heart-shaped ass. I bet the dad banged her.

Would you blame her? Would you blame him, you know? And he goes like, and for room for the people, like, hey dad, did you do her? He's like, you can't ask me to, sure, yeah, come on. Let's go into the bathroom. It's a man talk. He's like, I need to know if you banged your daughter because that could save her life. So come.

How? Don't question me. She's got measles. all right to So it's like Come on tell me Did you bang her? Only once

Yeah Come on Only once Barely counts Yeah So of course House tells his staff We should probably

Go to police Or something like that What Don't be a gnarc Spoken like a true hobo You don't know why it's Jack Nicholson Hey everybody It's me

Doctor House You can't handle The Teen Pussy But literally he's like So he knows the dad has Had sex with his own daughter And he's like I gotta keep him around here

Okay Let's see what happens next Woo, I love my job Because he does his scan Okay Turns out the daughter's testicles Alright It turns out the daughter

Like was born like a testicle Like hermaphrodite Yeah So he's like Guess what Remember you said You sex your daughter you actually had sex with your son

you big homo dad's like oh no and that's why he's ashamed I suddenly regret my actions I thought I was cool as hell turns out I'm a buffety oh no

I love my it's only Monday what else is gonna happen also he's like popping bike it in nonstop yeah yeah second Vicodin. I think that's a running plot is that he gets more and more addicted to the drugs.

There's so many, like, just mad shit that happens in the show. And there's all these little subplots that even back then, you're like, really, you know, like, one is like a patient has massive tits, okay, and House is like calling all his friends, you know, his doctor friends, like, I need a second opinion here,

yeah. And then, like, they're all like, whoa, like, they're not even like doing it subtly, like, hmm, let me check your breast. And after it's like, fucking hell. Fucking hell! Look at a fucking Melon to that. If you walk him like, Foo!

I'm going to do it right now, I don't care. I got a jack off right now. Swing. The Hippocratic old. I'm going to hypocrite one off right now. Woo! Yeah, it's

like, it is humorous, I must say, you know. It's entertaining. Yeah. It's easy stick on. In retrospect, see, it was came out of that time where everything kind of got lumped under this umbrella of prestige TV.

Yeah, and people are always saying stuff like, the real drama is happening on TV, not the movies. Yeah, yeah. And like shows like fucking, yeah, house or nip talk or fucking, you know, it all kind of, whereas like in, you know, only a few shows have really stood the test of time in terms of. Now, these shows are, they come on streaming, they do very well. They still make loads. they're still getting syndicated in fucking you know

Brazil and Thailand other place aren't Thailand really is the only place I care about but like the point is okay I want to hire a lady boy and just watch house with her you know

but these these shows just on all the time okay still making tons of money off it and like I was just doing dishes there I was just doing house is great because I can leave

I can leave the room for 30 minutes okay come back and like haven't missed anything you know. It's funny. It's a show that, you know, it really takes second screen viewing into account,

even though it was written at a time where there was no second screen. Yeah, yeah. But they knew people were stupid. Yeah, yeah. Well, they knew probably people, most people watching were on Viking in anyway, so if you're not out for half an hour, you wake up, it's like, wait, what happened? Oh,

house called the black guy, black. Okay, now I, yeah. Now I know. Yeah, and then whenever Like, he's really really means these people Like, I ride you because I know you're a good doctor That's why I called you the N-word But I'm not

Oh, I'm the Australian one It's bloody you doft in the head So you're calling me a bligh N-word He's going like the black... Yo, when you called me Kangaroo Black I ain't Australian, motherfucker Why you talk like that? Kangaroo, Jack,

kangaroo, black. people get it straight away. You don't have to, don't really explain it. When you explain it, it kind of undermines... It's second screen podcasting, Brian. I'm reiterating the joke.

Yeah, otherwise they think like that was wrong. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, look, so I do have some movies talk about, but I don't like to just talk

about movies. I feel like it's a little bit. It's kind of like not appealing to the audience sometimes if you're just talking about movie they haven't seen, you know? Yeah. So real quick,

we're going to talk about GROC real quick if you're following the GROC stuff? Uh, the AI generated images. Yeah, yeah. Uh, okay. Yeah. Which actually, speaking of images, okay? Mm-hmm.

I got really throwing under the bus here. Okay, so you were gone. Okay. Convenient. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Empty house, all right?

Right. I'm there on my own watching house. And then there's a knock on the door. And there's a young fella, all right. Right. A little skinny lad, okay? Yeah. And he's like, do you have the hard drives?

He's locking over his shoulder. Yeah. You got the, you got the, you got the stuff of hard drives Yeah I was like What?

He's like Yeah So I was on Done Deal All right And I bought all these Hard drives And like

All this technology And the guy says Come to your address And get it And he showed me A text And it was my address Yeah

And I was like What the What was his name He wouldn't give me a name That's What was his phone number He wouldn't Give me a phone number

Either Why would you Get hard drives From a guy Yeah A guy By the way His name

Was like Dark Souls 420. Dirty hard drive. 69. So I was like, what the fuck? It's definitely not anyone here. No.

And he's like, you sure it's not in the house? He's like putting the head in looking. Yeah. It's like, no, it's not, pal, all right? Yeah. And he's like, oh, but I came all the way from Navin. Like, looking at me like, this is your fault. Why have you done this to me?

Why have you tricked me like this? Yeah, yeah. I was like, maybe he's the neighbours. And he was like, no, could look, this is the address, it's your address. You wouldn't put the wrong address in, would you? Like, balls in your court again. So I was like trying to humor. I was like, I'll text the roommates there, see if they have anything.

And I was like, I start texting. I'm not going to send this. Who cares? And then he was like, I'm going to knock on the door next to us and next to our neighbor. So he went, knocked on them, did in the one thing? Yeah. He came back to me then. He was like, yeah, did you send a text, did you?

I was like, yeah, yeah, no response yet, you know? He's just staring at me. And then he's just hanging around, checking his phone. And eventually he gets a message again from this dark soul guy, all right? And he said, the hard drives are in the bush. That's so fucking dodgy. You know, it's crazy. They actually wore in that bush out there.

There's a plastic bag. It's raining, by the way. There's a plastic bag full of hard drives and a modem. Whoa. Yeah. And he was like, oh, this is great now, but I don't really want the modem. I said I don't want the modem. I was like, why are you telling me?

You have nothing to do with this scenario. And he's like, come on, buddy. Everything we've been through together. Come on, I know you're a fan. So then I'm like, oh, well, look, I'm happy you got it, all right? Maybe he don't mention anyone. Did he kept, like, was he coming back and knocking the whole time? Well, no, I left the door.

I was just watching him because I don't want to leave him on his own, okay? But then he was like, oh, God, it's like, okay, cheers, pal, okay? I close the door, right? I go back in. about five minutes later he knocks him door again he's like yeah I just can't bring this a modem with me

I just don't I have to bring on the bus and I'm like all right he's like yeah you have to take he said have to you are obligated to take this off my hands legally all right so you just have the modem

now this fucking pito ring modem is in our house now thanks a lot we're going to get rid of a real property of James on it

but like no one believes me that's the problem I'm like completely just like oh yeah sure yeah they weren't your hard drives right right you've got so many hard drives you're just throwing them into the bush

it is pretty convenient how you were gone during all this you know and you came back whistling afterwards you're like with a new fur coat just come into some money there yeah I

did it what kind of did you see the hard drives well I know it was a plastic bag okay but yeah

I was like were they big or like small or it was man the bag I sent a picture of it in

it's literally like it was it was a size of like it was I don't know how to describe it really

it was big you know it was like you can probably uh hmm how do I measure quantity of

units of how many how many Doctor Who DVDs could you fit in that Tell you what, you can fit three dead dogs in there. And there are pictures of dead dogs

on the hard drive. Underage. Yeah. Something's happening. You could put about three dead Labradoros in that bag. Wow. A hard drive. That's pretty big.

I don't really know my ounces and all that. Yeah. The metric system and all that. It's confusing. But I try and buy a bag of weed. I'm like, can I get like a dead Labrador word of weed? Can I get a half a fetus worth? of cannabis

off just a little chihuah-wow bag yeah yeah that's so weird man that's a very strange but it's like even try to explain the story to be honest

having known you for some time I'm kind of used to you having these weird stories definitely are true yeah but like yeah I imagine you trying to tell this just in conversation to some you know

yeah I was trying to tell these young girls I was talking to right he wanted the hard drives. They were in the bush. You know with yourself. I'll give me a little floppy disk. Until your bush

is on a few hard drives in town. All right, love. Stop crying. Go on. Yeah, he's the weird old. Yes, yes, he is. He certainly is. Oh my God. I'm afraid now he's going to come back with a hard drive and like, cheers. I left you little some

extra. Oh, no. I said I didn't want all these dead children pictures on my hard drives. Here, do something about it. I need you to talk to the man upstairs. Actually, speaking of downloading and stuff, I shouldn't. Actually, no, let's cut that out. No, that's fine.

No, no, no. I will say, okay, so I'm going to be honest with you, all right? All right. It was a pretty rainy week this week. I was in the shed a lot doing bits and pieces. Okay, most is tinkering with the tractors and all that. We're getting a new tractor, by the way. Okay.

Not to toot my own horn here, okay? Good to know. So we're just going to get, you know, looking after the old tractor, you know, then we send it off to the farm, you know? Yeah. Sorry on the farm, but like, so. Take, you take your tractor to the vets. Go on, just do it.

Come on. I'm going to hold there's a pass away. Yeah, so, um, basically, okay, long story short. It's not, it's not that interesting, but I just tell you, okay? Go on. I wanted something to listen to when I was in the shed. Right. And I was thinking like, oh, yeah, John.

John Hurt, he did like a Doctor Who story, all right? Okay. In 2013. Right. I know he did some audios as well. I was like, oh, how much those audios cost? You know, it's John Hurt, you know, do some Doctor Who stuff. I looked up on this website where you get Doctor Who audios and I said free.

Okay. I was like, oh, fucking. It's a good deal. Maybe some kind of anniversary or something. Maybe of his death or something like that. I was like, oh, look at these, okay? And I looked at another thing, like the Eccleston ones, like, oh, these are all free. I looked at the David Tennant ones

I was like Fuck these are all free I was like What the hell I was looking at all them Like Tom Bakers They're all free Right

And I was like What the fuck's going on here And It must be so kind of glitch Okay And all these stories Literally Download download download

Yeah And I was like What the fuck's going on here And actually on Reddit and stuff But like Is there anything about like A glitch in the BBC website Or anything of that

Okay And there was nothing And I was like What the fuck going on here, right? And I was like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck? You're like Christian Bale and the big shore? He's like, it's a bubble, it's got

a burst, I'm telling you now. So I downloaded one, okay? Just to see if it worked, I was like, it's on my phone now. Press play, because I was like, I must see some kind of thing where like, it's a glitch and you press it as static or it says error or something like that. And I played. I was like, what the fuck? So I just down to another

one, right? I download another one, all right? And just another one, okay? I'm just tapped on my phone, alright. Like, be honest it's not that many doctor who stories I really desperate listen to you know,

a lot of this is like kind of just it's a lot of shike okay? Oh, I don't believe that for a minute, right?

Honestly, there's not, like, if it was like, there's a lot audio audio if it was like a euro,

I still wouldn't get it. Yeah, okay, I'm just not that interested. But I was like, oh fuck, alright?

So just download a good few of them, okay? And I download it, I say, because some of these stories are like, you know, 10 quid,

15 quid, So I download it to say about, you know About 10 stories, all right Okay I was like, okay, that's it there, right? I was like, you know, I'm lucky that that worked, okay? Jesus, you know, save a bit money Yeah, it's pretty good for me

And then I go off, have my dinner, all right? And then the evening I check, it's still free. Oh, you can't help yourself. I might download a few more, you know? Yeah, yeah. And it's just like, literally, download scroll, download scroll, download scroll, download scroll, download scroll. in my head I'm starting to get like

wait a minute now I might have been gotten too cocky what if it's not free and it's coming out of my account oh shit yeah I was like holy shit I'm checking my account and there's nothing there and I'm like still you know

this is getting a bit too dicey now okay I'm in too deep here like I don't know like because what if they notice it or like yeah I'm just like no I'm also like I was in my head thinking of like geez you know like

people spend a lot of people you know just actors doing this right writers and people recording it doing the sound effects and all that you know they need to get their money you know, I don't know, I've had my fill, you know, that's it. I come back later on that night, and it's still free.

And I'm like, fuck, I'm just going download at all, okay? So I'm just like, download, download, download, download. My to, I'm getting in the carpet tunnel, like, download, download, download, download, download. God, I wish I had some hard drives right now. I'm running out of space. No, just download, download, download, download. And one stage, like, I swear to God, okay, because I've got white walls in my room, okay?

Yeah. I looked up, and I was seeing, like, images in the walls. Oh, my God. I've seen, like, David Tennant and Cybermen, the walls, okay? Really? I was like, what? I just kept down, like, my head was sore. Like, you know, I was like, I hope they stopped this glitch, because I won't be able to stop.

Yeah, I was like, download, download, download. Clearly having a psychotic episode of some time. I was like, please stop it. My parents are like, Brian, what's going on? We're worried about you. Fuck off, bitch. I just need one my fucking hat. Yeah, fucking out, Tom Baker's crawling along the ceiling,

his head turned it around. Oh my God. I was like, what the fuck's going on here? And then like, I went to bed like about 3am, all right? And I was like, I need to fucking stop this. Yeah. I wake up in the morning and the glitch is fixed. Okay.

But I still got all the stories. The way it works is kind of like you have access to stories on the app, okay? And you can download at will. Yeah, yeah. It's like, holy fuck. There's no way I managed to do this. Because I probably got about, I'd say about 13 grand word of Doctor Who stories. Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah. What? How many did you? Like hundreds? About well over 300. Fuck. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I was like, man, imagine if it did link to my account and suddenly get like a big hit.

And now I'm in the pauper's grave. You just have to kill yourself and your parents and burn the house down. And I was like, holy fuck. So for two days, I had all these stories on my app. Right. on the Doctor Who app you can download, okay? I was like, listen to them, and a lot of them was like, these are not very good at all.

I want a refund. I'm going to write a complaint. And I was like, geez, I might as well, I, I might just delete a lot of these off my phone, okay? And then they updated and they all left. Oh. And I'm thinking like, surely that's a you problem, okay, so I've legally bought your stuff.

Yeah. I'm not going to complain or anything, because, yeah, it's not worth it. I'm not going to get a lawyer. Oh, I was like, you, that was my property. It was on my phone. Well, I'm just saying, you know, it's like if I went to the shop and the guy in the shop accidentally sold me a Kit Kat,

and he was like, said on the thing here, it's zero euro. Yeah. What? And then I go home with it. He can't knock on the door and be like, sorry, no, I was looking at the zero at the end of it. Yeah, it's actually two euro, but I got the two mixed up. Yeah.

Like, it's like, no, you've made the mistake, pal. Fucker. God. Yeah, try it. Try it. I'm not sure what that... I tell you what, I was thinking, though, if I just taking like 200 euro worth

of Doctor Who stories, maybe it could have away with it, but there's definitely someone in like the... You probably set off the alarms with your grade. The BBC building is like, what the fuck? They have to shut down the BBC. The license fee goes up because of me. But like, it's probably, like, it's a huge chunk.

Yeah, I mean, you definitely Yeah, just from your sheer greed alone First Hugh Edwards, now this Yeah, I was thinking as well, it'd be funny if like The police come around, you know, and they're like knocking the doors Like, we leave your son as Doctor Who are, you, And my dad's like, he wouldn't do that. Hey, what, come on, he respects the license and fee.

We raised them right. I'm sorry, Dad. Don't look at me. Yeah, so, I don't know, like, So now that they're all gone. But I tell you, I did have, I did download quite a few of them. And I listened to, there was some decent ones, you know, there was Eccleston one called Monsters and Metropolis,

where it's, yeah, calm down, all right, where it's, he visits the set of Metropolis. Okay. You know, the Fritz Lang movie? Yes, yes. And guess, you know, the robot? It's a cyber man. Oh, yeah.

Okay. That was only decent one. The rest of them were just kind of drivel. Oh, that was the best one. Yeah, I felt like a real fool, you know. But now I'm listening to some James Joyce to recover. Oh. The Dubliners.

Yeah, are you seeing James Joyce on your bedroom wall? Download, download, download. Yeah. You were actually, you were like tripping. You had like a psychedelic trip? No, it was like a bad trip, do you? Like DMT? Oh, it was like going off heroin, man.

The machine elves. In the... The Cyberman elves, yeah. Wow, wow. I'm a lucky duck, though. I got some free stories over it. Yeah. Yeah.

And a lifetime of memories. Yeah. Yeah, I lost the whole evening to that. But it was worth it. What happens if they do? Like, you get an email saying, oh, you owe us this amount of money? It's their fault.

Okay. Legally, you back me up, won't you? No, you know me when at any time the BBC are in any kind of legal trouble, regardless, I'm always on their side. You're outside, but there's like, yeah, yeah, there's like, you know, an investigative. like Jimmy Saville, you know, like,

do it like, who knew what and all that? You're always outside with a sign, you know, like, my innocent angel. Save the BBC. I'll fix it for Jim. All right, half an hour. I'm going to restart the camera and we'll talk with some movies then. Yes, yeah.

This took a real dark turn. I think we should only talk about movies. That one time you'd talk about, oh, let's talk about something else. Yeah, so, uh, hard drives from a Pito ring and stealing BBC dramas from another Peter Ring. BBC intellectual property.

Yeah. The real crime. God, you're a, you're some man. Some man for some man. Some man for one man. Well, I watch some movies as well. I'm going to talk about the movies.

Good. I watch, and I'll give you a choice here. And actually, movies and TV, all right? The Knight of Seven Kingdoms, casualties of war. Oh, yeah. Bicentennial Man Fear Factor Oh

Uh Alright I think that's it Let's go chronologically then What was that first one The seven rings of power In my assol What was it?

The cock rings The knight of white power No the night of seven You got me going now The Night of Seven kingdoms It is the brand new Game of Thrones show Okay

Are you excited? Nope Oh it's got an Irish lad in it And sort of the original But no, it's got two Irish lads. The main guy's a rugby player. Oh. And you're a guy's nidge.

Nidge. Nidges in it, yeah. Nidge and Patty Jackson. The comedy duo, we never realized. Did I say you a video, by the way, where Patty Jackson did a Love Actually parody? No. Yeah, he did the thing, you know, like you knock on door and Patty Jackson's there with the signs. No.

You know, Love Actually when it's like... Oh, sorry, Love Actually. I was thinking of Love Island. No. Not that's any better. Terrifying. No, Love Island with Patty Jackson No, Patty Jackson

Try and run, love. The only bit of love actually where Andrew Lincoln's got the signs, tell them it's Carol or? Yeah, well, it was like, tell him, it's Patty Jackson. Tell them I'm innocent or I'll kill your mother.

Yeah, Jesus. But no, it's not Patty Jackson now, more fooled him. It's his other lad, I think, I forget his name now, but he's a pretty good guy, a good actor, and it's based on the dunk

and egg stories. So, yeah, I... What are the Dunkin' Egg stories, Brian? Duncan Egg are, there are short stories that George Orr Martin wrote between the novels, okay? I think he wants to do 12 them all together. Right. And they're about, they're kind of like more comedic tales like Dunk. He's like a knight without his master, and then he finds this young boy.

Okay. And it's like, I'm unwanted now. When you're a little orphan or whatever out there, let's, you know, go on adventures. comedic kind of like funny event a bit like Jane's style of Bob Okay Yeah but it's a child And an Irish rugby player

Right So the same kind of principle You know snooch to a noo So who does Nidge play in it then He plays just like a other character I'll be honest I'm not too sure what the vibe of the show is Yeah

I don't know if it's more episodic or what Yeah So the first episode is just laying out to pieces So it's like you know This guy dunk He's like a knight And his master dies all right of old age or like that

and he's like on his own now and he goes to different cities and towns and like I think he wants to join something and Nedge plays like I don't know

I'm afraid it might just be a small role I don't know if Nage is going to be main character now but he's kind of the guy who's like you know spitting and all that's like you want to join up with us yeah

yeah you don't have what it takes yeah what makes you a real night yeah I should just put a stick up your arse I'm only joking Why does he keep spinning? I don't know but that's the main character tree He spits

Really? Yeah I tell you, you know what house starts off Just knight of seven kingdoms, all right? It starts off, okay? Dunk, the knight, he buries his master He's like, what am I going to do now? And they start playing

Do do do do do do do and you're like, okay, what's going to happen? In the very next scene, he's just shitting, all right? and you see shit coming out of his ass Oh yeah you see actual poop coming out like That's disgusting Nobody wants to see that You probably want to see tits, don't you

If that's the choice Yes A pair of tits or shit Coming out of a man's asshole I think of Irish that shit In any day of the week now That's realism Well meet me halfway

Shit on our tits Come on I can't say any fair than that I'm afraid I'm not actually in charge of HBO What Mike who wants to see that genuinely? And like you see it, it's disgusting. Plopping out. It's all liquidy as well, you know.

My God. Yeah, right in the camera. All the audience, they're all wearing 3D glass. Like, what? Smel vision. Oh my God. Yeah, that's how you start a show. Based on that alone, I'm never going to watch it.

Ever. It's nothing to be. Yeah, what are you going to watch? Yeah, your fucking caterbears are. Yeah, exactly. No shitting on that. Yeah. Yet.

But yeah, so that's how it starts off. And it's like him, meeting people. There's a lot of the humor subverting your expectations, okay? So it's like,

I'll do something noble. Next, he falls over. Like, yeah, my master treat me well. And there's like a flashback him getting hit.

Oh. Yeah, it's a lot of that. So it's very wacky then. Oh, yeah. Pure like, you know, I'll probably later on

to have a thing where like, let's say now, there's like a sexy lady. It's like, oohie, come over here. He's like,

oh, But I know it's lady for me, yeah? Don't get in my way, egg. I'm going to get in the funky town. And he's going, okay, but the lady's a donkey, all right? And he's like... Sorry, the lady's a donkey? No, the lady has a donkey.

Oh, has a donkey. He's like, oh, right, okay. And he falls, okay, and his dick goes into the donkey. And he gets stuck in the donkey, all right? And a donkey like, you know, and starts running around the place. So, well, eh, okay. But then, okay, there's like a north side of town. There's like a race, okay?

all the horses, okay? Oh, yeah. For the king. And the king's like, whoever wins this race, I'll marry my daughter, all right? And they're having a race game.

But then, who's that? It's the donkey. And dunk's cock is in the donkey. Yeah, yeah. So the donkey, okay, wins the race. Ah.

And then dunk. The donkey donkey donkey. Yeah, the winner, okay? The king is like, you will marry my daughter now. Is this your spec script?

You feel, I feel like you're this very thought out. No, it came to me right now. I'm in a flow state and you're ruining it. You're shitting all over it. Appropriate. I'm just, I'm in awe. Well, actually, if you honest, I need your help, all right?

Because I've run out with steam. I don't know what's going to happen after. So what? He's like, the king's like, you can marry my daughter. Oh, but then the daughter's like, oh, let's go to the bedroom. Bring the donkey. Oh, yeah. And then she fucks the donkey and donkeys in the cock chair.

The donkey's a new king. Ah. Yeah. There we go. Oh, yeah. I knew the king was ness. Perfect. There you go.

George Martin can suck my dick. Yeah. This is easy. George Martin is now just falling. The other way like he's meant to be writing that book. Which one? The next Game of Thrones book. Okay.

And he's taking years. Yeah. Now he's saying like, yeah, I wake up and I don't feel like writing. It's actually shit, isn't it? Dragons and all that. It's pretty gay. I just want, I'm going to, I'm going to write Miami Vice novellas, you know? Oh.

But he writes it like and then Don Johnson says He just refers to him as the character names When did the last Game of Thrones book come out? Like 2011 Right, right, okay It's funny because he was pretty consistent You know, a book every three years or four years, okay?

And he's been working on the... So there's two more books to go. Yeah. And at one stage he was like, No, I'll finish it before the TV show finishes. Yeah. And now it's like, yeah. That didn't happen.

And like it's getting further and further and he's offering no... He used to be going... like, yeah, no, it's progressing. Like, in like, in like, 20s, fucking 17, he was like, you know, oh, it's progressing now. Yeah, I think it's all coming together.

And now he's like, yeah, I write a sentence. I'm like, nah. Yeah. Now, just go to bed. I mean, he is very old and unhealthy, right? Also, I feel like, as his profile grew and his fame grew, that really derailed him. And now he's getting so much young,

snays that he doesn't have time to He first to him, yeah. Like, he would have been, like, his life would have been just, like, you know, I get up and I write. And then maybe every now and again I go to, like, a convention. And it's like, you know, it's in the fucking Crown Plaza in Dundalk, right? You meet a lad from Carlo? Yeah, but it's just like a small...

Do you buy these hard drives? No, but it's just like a small convention. He's like, you know, sign your book. He's like, how can the elves and the orcs have separate, you know, what kind of like how is the voting system work in the elf politics he's like

I don't know magic or whatever like that and he just goes back to bed okay but now it's like oh fuck I gotta do Conan O'Brien I'm doing Kimmel I'm peering in fucking

always sunny I'm doing San Diego Comic Con I'm doing like Dublin Comic Con that's the big one you know who's doing Dublin Comic Con this year who? Shatner

William Shatner wow he's not like 93 years old. See why he was doing recently? No. He's eating cereal while driving. Legend. Man, to do either those at 93, he's impressive. Literally, he drives

around. You can't do that, no? He drives around, okay, I'd stop at the red, he's just like, what cereal is eating? Uh, no one asked that question. This is why you should be a journalist, who you asked a real question. What's that? Yeah. Lucky Jams. You're lucky to be alive, you old bastard.

Fucking hell. I can smell your bullet. from here, you stanky old gait. Now, please, do not address me like that. Have, respect. I told you, James, leave me low. So I haven't won you over with

the Knight of Seven Kingdoms. Okay, well, how about Bicentennial Man? That would, bycestinue Man's bit where the robots, like, ugh, there's big shit everywhere. I am doing a robot turd. So Bicentennial Man

was a big movie. Spent a lot of money on this. It starred as Robin Williams. I forget when it came out, 90-something. 99, I think. 99, okay, so the Millennium's coming. This is it. We got Fight Club that year.

We got The Matrix. Shit compared to this, right? So, Bicentennial Man. Someone's brave enough to say it. Bicentennial Man, I thought it was going to be a straight-up comedy like Flubber. And it was like, it's Robin Williams

as a robot. So I'm taking a lot of, like, beep-bo-be, you know. Hey, let's put him on funky mode, you know. Oh, ho, I'm a robot. My ex-wife, she was a hobot. Oh, ho. She was a whore. I found her banging the mailman. He put her hard drive in her USB port.

You've got mail. And I banged the vacuum cleaner. Ho-ho. It took me to court for sexual harassment. We settled out of courts. That's how you let the dust settle. Ho-ho. Get it? Vacuum cleaner, dust. Come on.

Oh-ho. I've got a wee body dementia. Come on. I thought I was going to be like Bender and Futurama I was like hey I need a pint of oil You know yeah Hey, well Don't talk me until I've had my Viking it

Robo Vikingid It's harder it looks But The point is okay It's not It's like a real heartfelt drama And love story and they're really going for heartstrings So it's about a family

and the dad is Sam Neal Okay And he's like Hey we got a wife And so it's like set in the future is it I think it's set in like the year 2015 Okay And it's like

You know we got a few kids now We're doing well with money Let's buy one of those robots to hear about So they get Robin Williams robot And he's very kind of It's start very basic He's proper like you know Like a tin man and wizard balls

Yeah Doesn't look human And he's like Hello there I will do your laundry And then the dishes is, hey, pretty handy to have him around, you know?

Yeah. And, like, they're having dinner and all that. And he'd like, I remembered, last time you said, you liked less salt, so here you go. Oh, good memory, yeah. And then he becomes, like, the family dog in a way. Right. All right, where, like, they all love him

and tell him his secret's not, you know, like, the teenage door is like, I don't think I'm pretty enough to go to the dance. You are very pretty. In fact, I would love to eat your pussy. Be poopie. Oh yeah, he's like the dog. Oh, man.

That's a little known fact. Every family dog, the daughter lets the dog lick it. Everybody knows that. The daughter licks out the dog. Well, maybe. Quid pro quo, you know? That's disgusting, all right? That's a true thing.

It's a real thing that happens. We're talking with Bicentennial Man, okay? People went to a lot of effort to make it, okay? And then you just come swanning in. Yeah, what are the dog? fuck some chick alright okay sorry

I got a little too Brett Rappner for you there the point is so we follow so I thought maybe this was the start of the film is something interesting to happen the first I'd say

hour and something to the film is just him being a great robot and then the family grow up and it becomes like a generational thing right so his family's growing up

there's new kids born eventually Sam Neal is like grey hair and full of wrinkles and all that he's like on his deathbed and he's like you are in many ways the most human

of us all even though you are a robot that is retarded you are clearly a fucking idiot I've been banging your daughter the whole time well interesting you say that oh no because then like

he's like he passed on to the next family all right and then as the family gets older, there's like these new updates available, so it's like, oh, we can do this, you're programming like a funny program into him. And the funny program is him like doing these jokes and they're a lot of real, like, I suppose you call

him like cat school, kind of like old street jokes kind of thing, you know, it's like, hey, two blondes have an argument, and the brunettes in the middle, she's a translator. Uh-huh. Yeah. And like, the family, like, ha ha ha! That's so funny! I was like, the granny, the little kid, they're all

over now. Yeah, yeah. Hey, two Jews walking to a bar. Oh, that's brilliant, you know. Do you need to finish it? So he, but he was thinking, okay, eventually they kind of let him go.

Oh. They're like, you know what? Set them free. A bit like that, yeah. You're like, you know what? You're becoming more, more human. You're having more emotions, okay? We don't think it's right.

You've done so much good for us, you know? Kind of like nice slave owners, you know? Ah. Like, they eventually let the slave go if they just didn't make a fuss about it. Thank you. I love you, messa. So the robot then, Rob Williams, kind of goes on a little journey around America.

And this is about an hour and 20 minutes into the film, all right? He goes around and he meets other robots, but the robots kind of like, you know, hey, leaves alone. We got our friend group here. We don't need an extra robot in our group. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. And he's sad. And then after a few years, he comes back, all right? And at this stage he meets Sam Neal's great-great-granddaughter. Oh, wow. And he falls in love with her. Oh, yeah, yeah. Long gone.

Yeah, mega grooming, all right, yeah. All right, so he falls in love with her and he meets who plays, oh, fuck, I forgot now. Some character actor plays this wacky scientist, okay? Basically, he has developed this kind of synthetic, I suppose, skin. It's been like Flubber actually Yeah So he puts his skin on the robot And now he's got Robin Williams

actual face Okay, right Right And then He He falls in love with this lady daughter Okay And she goes falls in love with him

And he becomes more and more human And it's like this wacky scientist Like hey I got a new thing here We can put a human heart in you And hey we can You know We can put actual blood In your system and all that

Right So become more and more Human Like actually biologically human Okay He's more of a cyborg now than a robot Uh-huh.

And this is when it gets weird and this is like, I'd say, we've only got 10 minutes left in the film now, right? So,

no, not, there's no house party or anything, there's no wackiness. It doesn't have to, like, do a bank job or something.

Yeah, exactly. Like, they kidnapped the family and they're like, we'll give you your family back if you robbed, you know, robbed the city,

um, hologram bank. Yeah. But he then is feeling sad because, his wife's getting older now he marries her by the way yeah oh okay it's a robo marriage

okay and it's like you know it's like some way like it's not a lot well they do some little thing like hey you can't get said Adam and Eve not Adam and Roba yeah you hear that

clanker dirty clanker you try to the clanker's coming in trying to marry our women so he marries this girl okay and she's getting older

yeah and he feels sad he's not getting older right right so then he decides to become fully human and they just can do that. Okay.

Yeah, and he has to do like a... It's 2015, they can do anything. So, they make him human, so he has to write, basically he wants the right to die. Oh. Yeah, of old age. And they're like, but why do you want to die? He's like, because in order to live,

you must know that you're going to die. And it ends at them, they're both old and they're getting like a sister suicide. They're getting like pumped to chemicals to kill them. Wow. Yeah. And it's like, Wow. What a journey it's been.

And to find you has been the greatest treasure. No! Fuck! You fucking bitch! I wish I had a robber! And then they die. Wow. Yeah.

And were you crying, were you? No, I was like, what the fuck is this? It sounds absolutely shy. Diabolical, yeah. Oh, God. like this might be the worst Robin Williams movie I've seen and that there's a lot of them there's a lot of bad ones yeah but I tell you what

the other ones like Patch Adams and all that are so ridiculous and over the top you haven't been able to laugh at it you know it's like you know he's curing cancer by showing his ass and doing a open pressure of a black woman you know whereas this it's just so fucking boring yeah and it's like it was just boring okay it was like kitchen sink drama but it's like every time the robot design thing

They're playing this music like, da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, like mellow drama. I made you a bird house. A bird house, but you've made our house. Into a home. Don't be gay, bro. He starts listening to Nick Futez. The Holocaust did not happen.

They don't like the things I say on Twitter. Grock showed pictures. of me naked. Oh, we're almost at the hour already there. Oh, God. It's going faster. Let's see now.

What else can we talk about? Yeah, fuck by Centennial Man. That's my take. No, I actually take it back now. I like it. Do you? Now, do you say it. Good.

Before we go, casualties of war. Yes. You got me onto this. That was great. I like this now. I like it when you recommend something, you know? It's rare, but... I didn't recommend it, though.

I just said I'm watching it. It's like, I didn't want you to watch it. You said it's fucking... fact that you watched it has ruined it for me. Yeah. I can't get hard anymore. Yeah. Casualties of War, Brian De Palma. Great.

Fun fact. John C. Riley met his wife on the film. Really? How romantic is there? Nice. Yeah. The movie where he gang raped a Vietnamese child? Oh, you're so sweet.

Oh, yeah. Did you see me? Yeah. Bender. That's not, I'm not doing it at all. He's so good in it. He's great. I love how.

So basically, it's about true a true story about these Vietnam soldiers who kidnapped and sexually assaulted a Vietnamese girl. It's the incident on Hill 192, I believe.

But John C. Riley in it is almost like he's only discovered the concept of rape. Now he's like, hey, this is great. What? You mean we can just bang? Hey, we're like Genghis Khan.

It's pretty fun, isn't it? You know, fun fact, he wasn't meant to be in the film. Really? Yeah, so Stephen Baldwin was cast in it, all right? Okay. Apparently, Stephen Baldwin was doing,

I don't know this is just cover, but he was doing a bad American accent and the Palmer fired him because of it. But he's American? No, sorry, New York accent. Oh, right. Yeah, that's the thing, okay? I imagine it's probably more like Baldwin was a cunt or the Palmer.

Or he was too manly for the Palmer or something. The cock was too big, you know. But that's, and so, like, John C. Riley was just an extra. Wow. He was on the same. He was on the same. He was on the same.

He was like, hey, can you just, you know, be fourth lead. And he's great, in it? Oh, yeah. Immediately you see it, and you're like, yeah, he's won the guys. Even that other guy, Don Harvey, is that his name? Yeah, yeah. He's fucking great.

He's like the real, well, I don't know, I guess Sean Penn is kind of like, he's the ringleader, but yeah, your man, Don Harvey is the real scummy piece of shit. I mean, they're all bad except for. John Likwazamo as well, yeah. Yeah. Can I be controversial here? I don't want to, you know, be mean to a crippled man, okay? Michael J. Fox

is he at the same level as these other actors? I mean, no. He's not as good as them, but I think he's good in it, like, you know? I will say he kind of has like the worst role in a way because his role is a lot of like, it's the hardest way because it's a lot of like eye acting and just like looking off dissing

and being like shocked and horrified. Yeah, yeah. Being like war as hell. So you didn't like his performance? No, no, I did, but I just thought, you're glad he's got Parkinson's. gave it to him. No, I'm just saying like...

Shake it off, buddy. If it was a different actor, I think it would have propelled it into maybe more memorable in the public consciousness. If it was like an early role for like Johnny Depp or like Tom Cruise, something like that.

Okay. Yeah, I think it maybe would have like that actor maybe would have gotten an award from like a nomination. Right, okay. Whereas this kind of maybe because of the subject matter but it kind of got a little bit swept on the radar.

Yeah. Well, I guess, yeah, I mean... It was considered a little bit of a disappointment and I know Michael J. Fox was like, I mean, I'd rather fail with something like this than just do, you know... Spin City. Yeah. I mean, I guess also it's a movie that's...

You know, it's talking about a real-life incident and it's really portraying the American Army in a very negative light, not just the soldiers that carry out the incident, but then basically the ones that are like all the higher ups are trying their best to cover it up but Michael J. Fox's character just

won't let it die. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, it's only like 20 years after the actual thing. Yeah, relatively speaking to it. And it came out at a time where being critical of, you know, the military was a lot more controversial than it is now. When they come out?

1985. 85. What was going on on 85? Is that like, you know, probably some stuff? Well, I suppose by that stage it was a little bit far from Vietnam. People were like, yeah, I mean, Vietnam is a bit of a hiccup, you know, but in the long term, you know, the American Army's good, you know, yeah. I mean, I think it's, to be honest, this is maybe a hot take, but I think it's as good as Platoon.

I think Platoon gets hyped up too much, quite frankly. I probably, you know what, you know, with Platoon, I've seen the parodies of it. Yeah, the whole, Adagio for strength. Yeah, yeah. Whereas, like, I didn't know anything really about Casualtyty War, so it feels newer to me. Yeah, yeah.

And it felt a little bit more real. Yeah. I think with the graphic violence and all that. Yeah, yeah. Now, I liked it. And the Sean Penn. Sean Penn is great. Sean Penn's great.

Yeah, John C. Riley. No, Michael J. Fox, look, he is, he's not at the same level as Sean Penn. He is really a TV actor. And that's not a bad thing. TV acting is a difficult job. Yeah, yeah. Also, if you started off as a child actor on a sitcom,

not everyone can be DiCaprio level, you know what I mean? It's hard to maybe transfer those initial skills into kind of like a bigger or more. Well, I think he does a pretty good job. But if it was like Richard Pryor or something like that, wouldn't it be better? I guess it would have been. Yeah.

He's doing all that, he's doing lots of improv. He sets himself on fire. He's better to tell you, they're fucking, they weren't good guys. those Vietnam soldiers No they weren't A lot of I mean there's that And then you know

The Miley Or no Mili Mali massacre I mean there's probably so many I didn't correct you there When you said Miley No you didn't Because I respect you Oh

Yeah Whereas if I make a mistake Oh you can't wait To shove it down my throat I sure can What That's an actor said to a bishop As a Vietnam vet

Sent to a villager Hey I didn't Do it? We got a bit of trouble actually. Oh yeah. Someone was like, what? We're talking about

Meely, okay? It's like, I don't think it's actually funny to laugh and babies getting shot on the face. Wow. Did you see it?

We got another comment after that. Oh, no. Another comment was like, no, that's actually how you deal with, actually was more gay, you know? It was like, no, that's how you deal

with the hardness of realities, with comedy. If we couldn't laugh at our problems, we'd be succumbed to the darkness. Did you delete that? Because I didn't see that one.

I think it might be under, hidden. There's like a hidden section that only I can see. Thank God because you wouldn't you wouldn't be able to handle it. No, I'm sure they all love me. Yeah.

What? We put out that one. What was the one I put on Instagram that got no traction at all? Oh, I was depressing. Scott Adams. Givermectin. No respect for gyvermectin.

I know. I know. It's, it's Well, look, Tesla got a lot of shit when he was he didn't get the respect he deserved yeah that's true

yes there you go yeah thanks yeah I'm like Edison I'm stealing all your ideas yeah joive rebectum is my idea

off to the patent office was that yeah casualties awards good diploma flick you know one of his lesser known ones he's got a lot of good stuff well I'll tell you

there's some movies I need to see so I keep trying to see film but like it's hard you know like you know schedules and all there you're all applied bro oh you're all you're

right yeah, I'm doing fuck all. I only have time to watch nine episodes of house every day. I don't have to... But I do... And download 13 grand worth of Doctor Who, audio dramas. While, you know, pointing random men to a bush full of hard drives. You're right. I keep forgetting I'm technically unemployed, you know?

I'm always like looking at bums. Like, yeah, get a job, will you? I mean, you do. You're working for your dad, though. I am working very hard. I know, it's annoying now. I don't want to complain too much, you know, like my dad when he starts something you can't finish it right okay so let's say um it's 8 o'clock in the

morning it's not raining yeah he's like we're gonna start laying some bricks right and then it starts raining at 815 yeah it's like I said we're going to start laying bricks so what are you gonna do you know okay yeah so then we just laying bricks in the rain right and all the cement's getting wet and I keep dropping the bricks on myself you know um well I got my doctor who stories well that's good. Well, this orphanage that you're building

is going to collapse in on the children because, you know, your dad just couldn't wait. I'd be grand. It'll be fine, you know. Well, I'll tell you, I'm going to make a promise to listeners.

Are you okay to record again next Monday? Yeah, that should be all right. Or Tuesday. Who gives a fuck anyway? We could die in all who care. I have to go back to Monaghan. I don't know if I go back

tonight or tomorrow, but I have the NCT now on Thursday, so I have to get the NCT watch done. what guys, you know, do James a favor, okay? Subscribe to the Patreon. Yeah. Because James... I'm fucking dying out of here.

Because there's much bigger podcasts, okay? Podcasts that are huge, that they will really go, like, please, guys, we need you to subscribe. Yeah. Like, there's a podcast called the Important Cinema Club. And they're literally, like, at the end of the episode, like,

listen, I got a kid, I need to feed the kid. I'm so tight with money now. I can't even afford all my Blu-rays. So I need money. I need... It's either the kid or the Blu-rays. Yeah.

Don't make me choose, because that kid's death will be on your hands. I can't abort the Blu-Rays. What am I supposed to sell all my Funko Pops? Don't be, that's cruel. You'll be daft, yeah. And like, another, there's like some football podcast listen to it where they're literally like, we need to keep lights on. We got this big studio.

We have staff, you know. We have a staff member with leukemia. He doesn't know that yet. It's going to be a funny reveal We'll do it next week. We're going to get all his family here. It's going to be funny. So yeah, James needs money for the NCT.

And these lads, by the way, let's be honest. They're probably scamming you, aren't they? Probably, yeah. You see you coming. They're like, oh yeah, we need you to get some skyhooks. Yeah, well, it's the, it's the NCT. It's the Nigerian car theater, is what they call it. And they're like, come in and bring your car.

Do we fix it for you? Do they take cash anymore? I know they stopped taking cash for a while, I think people pull a big ruckus over. Yeah, I don't know. Who has cash anymore? I'm all digital, baby. I should be getting paid soon.

When do you get paid? It's either tomorrow or the next day. I tell you, you know, it's so bad. Right now, I don't think I have enough fuel in my car to take me to money. And I've only got three euro in my account. Oh, no. So that'll only get me through the toll, which is 2.30. like

like I've got no food well I got some old chicken dippers in the freezer they're frozen so they're probably all right you know yeah yeah it's not going well

I got a microwave meal in the fridge you want to I don't want to take food I was going to throw in the bin well I'll finish it out of the bin then you know make me work for well I don't want to like

well this might we won't cheer you up now but we're going to have very high electricity bills you keep telling me that yeah it's going to be over 200, I believe. How do you know?

From the estimate it. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, 200 split four ways. That's 50 quid each. Whoa, slow down. What kind of crazy numbers? What? No, I do the maths.

I'm like, no, that's about 300 each. 300 from you guys, Cadden, 500 from you. You know why. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you go into the bathroom and take those long, smelly dumps? Yeah, that takes up more electricity.

That's on company time, man, what company? Oh, the stink makes the electricity go up. So, the plan is, okay, next week I'm going to go to cinema. Well, I'll probably try and... 28 years later, I'm going to go cinema, see? Oh, yeah. I'm actually looking forward to that. Okay.

I've heard it's much better than the first one. what was the first one again? So it was 28 years later Oh yeah This is 28 years later The Bone Temple The Bone Temple Yeah yeah

So that I call your mother's pussy Well the electricity bill's going up now Yeah From her electric vibrators And the Sibbean Who's the Is someone coming? Somebody called on

Uh-oh No Well So we got scared there I want to watch The plan is I want What Sipan Marri Supreme

And 28 years later The Bone Temple by tomorrow. Okay. So, better get to work. I want to see Marty Supreme. Roy Kean said it wasn't very good. Wow.

Roy Keen was like, eh. Yeah. Ping pong. A white fellow playing ping pong. That's meant. And I want to watch the John Bishop movie as well. The Will Arnette John Bishop movie.

Because John Bishop was in Doctor Who. I wonder will they include that in the film. Oh, I'd imagine that'll probably need its own film. That'll be the sequel. Yeah. you know, Bradley Cooper, he's going to wear a fake nose again for no reason.

I'll tell you what, let's stick on a bit of John Bishop and Doctor Who now, all right? Well, end the episode, by the way. We won't subject you guys to that. Will you do that? I'm going to go fish in the bin for some scraps, you know?

Goodbye, guys. All right, goodbye.