Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 1 : Suicide Priest
Episode Date: July 30, 2018Cyber bullying an elderly priest and making him commit suicide....
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With a bad man ting, bad man ting, do your bad man ting, with your bad man sing.
Hello and welcome to the Cultural Appropriation Show.
I thought it's singing at the start.
Anyway, welcome to Brian and James Fuck Each Other.
It's a new podcast that we've started.
My name is Brian O'Toole and I'm joining with James Cadden.
Hello.
Nice to be here.
It is.
Yeah, it's a new podcast.
We start a podcast, so they'll respect us.
Yes, finally.
The industry will take notice.
Maybe now you'll accept my friend.
request, you dick. You know who you are. We went to school together and you won't look
me in the face. You'll fuck me, but you won't look at me. Anyway, it's nice to be here. James,
we'll start off. Who are you? Well, my name is James Cadden. I'm from Monaghan. I'm a stand-up
comedian, or at least aspiring. Open micer, is the correct time. Open micer. Oh, okay. Wow.
We're going to just take our deck sides straight away. Open micer. Yes, I am. I'm a
I'm a nothing. I acknowledge that.
It's good to admit it.
Well, it's good that you got off your chest.
Well, oh, but yeah, after you forced me to say it.
Anyway, the way it's going to work is...
I'll tell you about myself then.
Go for it.
My name's Brian.
I am a comedian, I think, a stand-up comedian.
I don't get paid for anything, but, you know, in my delusions I am.
I'm from Carlo, and we're recording this in James' house, actually, in Black Rock.
That's right.
it's in my well it's uh the address is black rock but it's pretty it's more still
tell them where you live tell still organ one two three stilorgan road still organ we'll have
stalorgan we'll have a big listener party it'll just be us we're in my bedroom right now how do you
like it brian i like it yeah it's as about as clean as i could get it so you clean it from me
you make your bed as well i know yeah case anything happened in case anything well it is called
brian and james fuck each other so i think we should start off
wait what have you done today i have done nothing today brian i was in bed until about two o'clock
in the afternoon uh i think i may be clinically depressed but but you know in the fun way not like
in a debby downer kind of way no i just i'm unemployed right now and uh so i i do i sleep a lot
of the time that's a bit depressing how's the job hunt going uh yeah it's going all right i've been
email in different production companies i've got a few emails back and so hopefully they've talked
about bringing me in for a meeting and stuff so we'll see it's a lot of balls up in the air right
now so hopefully there'll be so dangled into my mouth soon and i can start my work in the industry
this is hollywood that's right little hollywood uh i was actually at mass today oh really yeah
congregation yeah like you go to mass ever i don't i mean i used to when i was younger and i used
to be an altar boy and all that crack but i was i never i was never devout it never did anything for me
Are you...
It's weird
And they're an altarbite
But I do go to mass every
Every week
Is it your choice to go?
Do you...
I live in my parents
So like
So they...
They don't force me
But they go
It's like more a communal
I live in a village
By the way in Carlo
At Ballin if you're wondering
And it's more like everyone just goes
They'd be talking about you if you didn't
You know
I'm starting to look forward to going now
Because our priests
I'll say Fader Weal
He's not listening to this
No I don't think he'll hear
Father Wheeling from Carlo
Yeah yeah
He's not from Carlo
But I don't know where he's from actually
heaven
heaven yeah
but yeah
he's starting to get
a bit mad
in the head now
oh really
I think the Alzheimer's
sitting in a bit
like so he's going a bit
like
he's going a bit weird
he's gone very
passive aggressive
with the congregation now
where for instance
like last week
he was doing this
kind of sermon
and story thing
and he was like
talking about
how he didn't pick
the parish
I didn't pick it
I don't want to be here
the bishop
basically saying
like the bishop
told me go up
and I said well
you know
you don't pick where you go
but you
where God sends you and I don't care if
you all like me you all hate me
you're basically in fuck the haters
in the way yeah a lot of references
the referendum as well
marriage referendum or
the abortion one yeah he didn't like the marriage one either
oh I didn't I know I didn't think he would
yeah he's kind of hope I think he's hoping
that the Pope's visit
you go see the Pope I don't have any plans
but who knows I mean I'm in Dublin so maybe I'll go
check it out take a bit of angel dust and go see him
as appropriate well yeah I think he's
hoping that the Pope's visit will like change our minds on the referendum and like
all the feminists will um say like oh the Pope so nice let's let's not repeal the
ape after all let's repeal the repeal. And you know what? Let's bring back the
Magdalene Laundries as well. Fuck it. Let's do it. The Pope's so nice. He's got
Nane Carter and Daniel O'Donnell there. Let's fucking do it. Yeah. Wonder would
pay. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe. I assume it would. Where is it happening? Phoenix Park.
You could put it on your Edinburgh poster.
Do you think Daniel Donald's going to do Edinburgh?
If he's good enough.
Yeah, we'll see.
Maybe free fringe.
Well, yeah, there's a...
What is the saying nope to the Pope?
That's like a big...
They're protesting and they're going to protest
to the thumbs and stuff.
I don't think they'll do much.
It's kind of like that protest for Trump.
It won't actually affect it, but it's...
I think it's good to show...
Like, it's down the record now
a lot of people protest against it.
Yeah, that's true.
Like, you know, the Iraq war.
That still happened, but like...
People protest against it.
Yeah, but how many people genuinely protest
or how many people are there just looking to get laage,
you know what I mean?
I'm against imperialism and globalisation, baby.
What about you?
Oh, yeah, I think we shouldn't bomb Shepherds.
Yeah, well, it's good to have that now.
I think it's one of the biggest protests in London.
Yeah, the Iraq war one.
Surely Trump.
Oh, maybe Iraq War beat it, but the one for Trump there is,
they had the big floating baby.
Yeah, the balloon.
They didn't really look too much like him.
No, not at all, really.
And I don't think Trump is going to look it down and think.
Oh.
I've been wrong the whole time.
I shouldn't have grabbed it.
But anyway, Father Wheelon, I was saying,
so that was last week he was being a passive aggressive.
And this week, he proper...
He started off some sermon, and he was like,
is this the right one, is it?
And no one would talk to him.
And then he was like,
is this the 14th Sunday?
I can't remember exactly.
It was just the 14th Sunday, is it?
And like, no one said anything.
He's like, is it?
And then, like, people kind of went, like, yeah, a bit, all right.
And they started sermon, but everyone's kind of, like, kind of laughed themselves a bit.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're, like, more like, like, a substitute teacher to have shown him this guy.
And then he kept, like, going in and out of, like, loudness.
So he'd be, like, anyway, and then Jesus said to the apostles and the gospel, like that.
It's, like, weird tone changes.
That's an old trick just to, like, get your attention and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Dips the voice up and down, up and down.
die. I'm kind of wondering how long until he just, you know...
He just does like a Michael Richards and starts screaming the N-word of people?
No, he's already done that.
We're used to that, every Christmas.
Prayers of the faithful.
No, I'm just wondering how long it took. We used to have a priest before filling in from
called Father Howard. And again, I'll say real name because they don't care.
And he actually had a stroke during mass.
On the altar?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember it was on a Sunday morning, because I used to go to mass
Saturday nights
and then I found out that
I started going Sunday mornings then
to see it
and then he had a stroke again
but on the other time
Saturday nights
you missed it twice
yeah it was so annoyed like
that's unfortunate
and he proper like you know
fell to the floor
and he didn't speak in tongues
or anything but like
everybody thought he was just getting
really into the sermon
yeah he's doing all that
yeah that's pretty
that's probably very offensive
to people listening
who's ever had a stroke
I apologize.
He's not listening.
Who?
Either of them, I doubt.
I really doubt that either priests who are both in their 80s are following our Facebook content.
The stroke one, is he still alive?
Well, you can call it life.
God ain't being kind to that priest.
It's the same life as a parsonic, just sort of sits there.
Nobody likes it.
They've done the last rights five times.
I hope you don't listen to this.
So are you, you go to mass, that's very interesting now, like, you're what, 23?
23, yeah.
That's very, that's very, like, not a lot of 23-year-olds are going to mass.
Do you believe in God or anything like that?
No.
No?
I'd like to believe.
It would be nice, wouldn't it?
Literally, no part of me has any faith at all.
No.
So why do you go then, just?
Um, you know, I think, I was going to say I go to see the people, but everyone I see there
are, like, people from my primary school who are, like, really successful now.
Oh, really?
Because they've had God in their sight.
you know and a few people like
I see people that make me depressed actually
you're happy aren't you
he went to Trinity and now you got a handsome boyfriend
I don't like I definitely
I don't go when I'm away
and I don't miss it or anything
I used to even like a few years ago I would say
like that's a good kind of mindfulness kind of thing
but now no not so much
you just don't get anything from even from a young age
and I used to go like when do your communion
oh Jesus like first class is that right
I can't remember
I remember after the communion then
I stopped taking the host in my mouth
Oh my
Okay I'm sorry
Has this become a little bit confessional
The host
Is that what he made you call him
Yes get ready for the host
I'm too old for this
Too old for this shit
I don't like how the host tastes
No because I know some people
They take it in their hands
Yeah yeah
And they're putting their mouth
So even as a young kid
I just started
I told us real badass
Like just like my other people
Like they steal car
Hubcaps and things
I used to do is put the host of my hand and then it's slide in my pocket.
Oh.
Yeah. But I used a special pair of jeans for masks, right?
Yeah.
And then I just kept loads of holes in my pocket.
And then I put my iPhone in there, my iPod, whatever you call it?
Yeah.
Put it in my pocket one time.
And all the bits of body of Christ got stuck in the charger.
So I couldn't charge my pods.
That's a bit of like...
So God came back for revenge.
Jesus fucked your iPod.
A bit of karma, yeah.
There you go.
That's why I go to Mass.
Do you believe now?
So it's fair-based.
That's where you go.
I do think though
A lot of those people
that go to Mass
it's more just like
they're not thinking of it
like I'm going to go to hell
it's more like a social
like I'm going to see the butcher
Yeah yeah
And I think
kind of go back to what you said
mindfulness
There is sort of a meditative aspect of it
But it's quite
The fact that we all stand up
Sit down and chant in unison
It's quite
It's almost like a cult of sorts really
Yeah it's not a fun cult
It's just the most successful cult
That's ever existed
I look at Jim Jones
And I get jealous
because they all got lovely
Kool-Aid
And they got to go for a nice sleep
Yeah
It wasn't actually Kool-Aid
I don't think
It was like some second-hand
To add insult to injury
It wasn't even
It was like cheap
Awesome aid
You always like corn flakes
And like
Yeah
Flake corn
Like choco pops
I think it was like
Refreshing cool liquid
Like a cool drink
Why would you cheap out
On a mass suicide
Of all things
Would you not put a bit of money
Into it
Have you watched much of the footage
From that
No I've never
I don't spend my time watching mass suicide
I watch so much
serial killer stuff and like
cult stuff
I love serial killer stuff like
John Wayne Gacy
So you watch the Wild Wild Wild Country
No I've heard about that
You should definitely watch that
That's our pick of the week
Yeah
That's our pick of the week
Yeah
Wild Wild Wild Country
Really good yeah
I think Rogan talked about it
In his podcast
But we'll take it from here Joe
Yes, wild, wild country.
Yeah, I actually don't even want to tell anyone about it,
because part of the fun of it is how wild it gets.
Because it starts off, kind of like...
It's up to the title.
Yeah, kind of like, oh, they're cult in a small town,
and, you know, the small town people are like,
we don't like those kind of people, he a brown fella,
that kind of stuff.
Okay.
And they're really kind of intersex and all the...
Yeah, yeah.
It's sinful.
Well, I think one guy kind of says,
I saw that cow,
I saw Ashwitz,
I never seen anything.
I saw a guy.
girl and she had her top off
and I saw a nipples and I crashed
At that way
He saw a pair of tits and he thinks
That's worse than Daco
I think he said it was worse than that
I might be remembering it but like yeah
Because it was like free love and all that
Okay
Well who knows how he feels about
Maybe he's a bit of an anti-Semite
Oh they actually show some orgies in it
Is that right?
There's an orgy clip in it yeah
When did this happen?
When did it?
Well what's great about it is
As more and more documentaries
Are done back when everyone was
filming things.
Yeah.
So there's loads
of footage from the time.
Okay.
Yeah.
So...
Like the 70s,
was it?
I think 70s or 80s,
but like there's loads of footage
because everyone was filming
at the time.
It was a big story as well.
So like every now again
you see Christopher Hitchens
is doing the documentary about it.
Is that right?
See young Hitchin.
Hitchie?
It's a good hitch.
Yeah, yeah.
Not like Pierre.
Yeah, I recommend Wild Wild Country.
Yeah, I'll check it on.
And it's funny, I watch some much
that stuff and people
were talking with Love Island recently
and I was being real snobby about
like, oh, you watch all the people,
handsome people having sex and relationships.
And the drama surrounding it all.
You fools.
I've literally watched four documentaries in the week
about fucking John Wayne Gacy.
Not even like multiple different serial killers,
just him.
Just him.
Well, he's very interesting because he's
have that whole killer clown and he like killed the kid.
Did he rape kids as well?
That's libelous.
Oh yeah, I don't want John Wayne Gacy's people to come after me.
Good artist.
This is slander.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good name of John Wayne Gist
Being dragged through the muck
You know Cliff Richards sued at BBC there
Yeah, because there was allegations against him
For being a nonce, wasn't there?
Yeah, I think they were raiding his house
And the BBC reported it
And that caused emotional damages
Which...
They didn't find anything when they raided
Was he friends with like Jimmy Saville
And I think he hung out at Elam Grove
You know what about Elm Grove, don't you?
Elm Grove, was that the house where
Like politicians brought their rent boys
it fucked them.
Wasn't it like even like some like different rival political parties could
get together?
It was like, you know, a safe space for politicians who like to molest underage boys.
Yeah.
It's nice that they could put their political differences aside in the name of love.
That's good.
Only the Republicans and Democrats could do their safe.
Maybe we get this damn gun control path.
That's all I'm saying.
Finally.
It's bad time someone said it.
Yeah.
But what are we talking about?
Cliff Richards.
yeah
so yeah he said they reported
that he was being investigated
and you cause emotional damage
and now he's suing them
well I think that's a bit absurd
like obviously if a famous guy is getting
investigated that's a newsworthy thing
it's not libelous
it was in the heat the moment
because it was really like U-tree mania
yeah yeah
beetle mania
like everyone was talking about it
you ever see a clip of Philip Schofield
with David Cameron
no and he's got this is real
like he's got a list
Philip Schofield has himself
written a list
of suspected
pedophiles, all right?
Philip Schofield.
Yeah, from Holly and Schofield, all right.
And this morning show, wherever it is.
And he just carries it around.
He has it and interview with David Cameron.
And he literally handses
that David Cameron going,
look, this is a list on the internet I found
of suspected pedophiles.
What are you going to do about?
And David Cameron's trying to be like,
prime ministerial.
Well, Philip, you know,
there's dangers about this stuff.
Like, he's like,
and David Cam's literally going to put the paper down
when no one sees it.
Yeah, yeah.
What are you going to do about it?
Jesus Christ.
Well, fair play at a Schofield for trying to lift the lid and all the pitoes.
I think he told us, like, you know, on the brass eye, the pito hunter.
They need garnishment.
Yeah.
Your first gig, let's say.
What was your first gig?
Oh, God, my first gig was...
I know you've told me by zero interest in you, so I didn't...
I didn't listen.
That's fair enough, I get that, yeah.
What was your first gig?
My first gig was Battle of the Axe, January.
2016. A lot of people
start there. Yeah, yeah. It was
very interesting night.
I was so scared and I kept going to the
bathroom. I must have pissed like 30 times.
I get that loads, right? Is it like there's nothing really coming
out? Exactly, yeah, it's just like tingling
in my dick.
But, so I eventually
they call me up, I go on stage
and I do my
first joke and it gets an alright kind of reception
but I'm very, I'm still very
nervous and like, so
anyway, and shaky. And that
kind of is bad, but then the mic starts
cutting out, like, and people
can hear, they, like, they can hear me for
the setup, but then the mic cuts out at the
punchline, and it just kept happening
and I eventually just said,
fuck this, and walked off the stage, so it was quite
the disaster. Did you get any kind of
applause at all? I tell you, uh,
yeah, I got a bit of applause, and I got a few laughs
and I think, I'm not sure,
but I, it could be, and if I have this
wrong, I apologize, I think it was Ronan
Grace, who was MC in it,
and he said, uh, it sounded like,
Sorry about that, James.
It sounded like a good set, the bit that I could hear anyway.
So he kind of, there was a little bit of positive reinforcement there.
But then this woman, I'll not say her name, but you definitely know who she is.
She's a comedian as well.
She started heckling one of the comedians as he was making a joke about gay marriage,
and it got very heated between the comedian on stage and then herself.
And there was a lot of, then a lot of the crowds started getting involved.
And I'm not messing.
and it was like a 10 minute free for all
of just people screaming at each other
and eventually Rodin Grace went up
and had to take the guy off the stage
and just saying look you're done for you know
this you went over time anyway
and there's no plan to finish in the set
and even he kind of went to war with her a little bit
so yeah it was very
I was just sitting there like oh my God thank God
because then nobody remembered me
fucking up you know what I mean
it's good when a bigger fuck-up happens
it distracts you.
But that was my first ever gig
and I've never seen
that level of heckling
or pandemonium
and I was like
is this what every show
is going to be like
but yeah
it was very interesting
I was good learning experience
my second gig
I had to follow Dave McSavich
he just popped in
for a set
just surprisingly
it was my second
every time on stage
I had to go on
directly after him
and it actually went
very well
I just acknowledged the fact
like here I'm a fucking nobody
and you just saw McSavage
and the crowd
going to went with me on that
your underdog now
yeah exactly
so I kind of play it for that
so that was a good experience too
what about you
what was your first gig
or how I was a bit different
I started up in a spirit store
in Dundalk
yeah you know a really nice room upstairs
yeah but when I started
they were doing comedy downstairs
kind of like beside the toilet
yes I know that that area there
like where the normally just have some guy
with like a fiddle or something like that
it's not really like a good space for comedy
no so I started off there
and I proper remember
I think I got there like fucking four hours in advance
like it was proper to shake
and like, yeah, not, like, couldn't handle it at all.
I had no material at all, like, no, like, proper material.
I had, like, back then I was really into, like, offensive jokes and, like, I really
want to be, like, you know, fuck the man, like, a really political kind of stuff.
Kind of like Bill Hicks, anti-authoritarian.
Yeah, I thought it was Bill Hicks.
I thought it was the carrel of Bill Hicks.
The reincarnation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so then I got up on stage, and, yeah, I think I started off with some
Facebook, anti-Facebook stuff, and they got nothing.
then I did a fingering joke
which got some kind of response but I think just because
because a kid saying fingering
yeah I looked really young at the time
like really young and really like nervous
and that so it's me saying like fingering
like got a bit of response
kind of like Napoleon Dynamite talking about fingering
yeah yeah and then I ended
with like a really long monologue
about how the CIA sold crack to black people
back in America in the Contras right
yeah that's true fucking freeware
Well, I didn't have a joke about it, I just, I just said it, and then, like, waited for them, like, waiting for, like, they're like, whew!
And they start burning money, like.
You just kickstart the revolution.
Every thing I know, it's a lie.
The Emperor has no clothes.
Yeah, so we've got nothing, and then it's, like, good night, and I walked off, and, like,
the MC had to, like, do, like, five minutes, like, kind of, like, getting back, because they were so disgusted by.
Disgusted by you.
But, like, yeah, but then, after that, I think a lot of people still,
start off good their first gig and then go way down.
Yeah, where we started way down and went lower.
Yeah, but eventually things will level out.
Yeah, yeah, we hope.
But yeah, I get what you're saying.
A lot of people kind of do well the first time,
especially though when somebody goes on stage like,
okay, guys, this is his first ever gig.
Crowds will be more, like, receptive.
And, like, Irish crowds generally are very nice and, you know,
warm and welcoming, maybe.
I thought, do I have that wrong?
Yeah, you're right, actually.
I'm just so used to doing, like, really shit rooms outside of Dublin,
like out in the country more like.
Yeah, yeah.
Deliverance.
Yeah, it's proper like that, and you're kind of like,
you have to run from a car in case someone, like.
What would they're pitch for?
Yeah, yeah.
And then also, like, they're not there to see comedy.
Because I've done a lot of shows where it's just like just beside a pub.
Yeah.
And, like, the football's there as well.
Yes.
I know.
Yeah, exactly what you mean.
I did that in Edinburgh once
We're literally
You were in a smoking room
To some old lads
I'd say definitely
The hardest
Crowd of group of people
I found shows
It's just old British guys
Okay
They don't take any shit at all
Yeah
They're just like
Well do you remember
Last year in Edinburgh
On the final night
We got up
And there was that Scottish guy
Hickling the whole time
And then at the end
He came up to
Sorry about that
But you know
I was trying to help you
With the heckling
You know
Yeah
Yeah
And we were like
Get the fuck
He looked like a sad
Pedophile
Yeah
like a pito
but who doesn't enjoy it
like here
my heart's not in
anymore
I'm out of the game
yeah
just doing it for the money
now
yeah I remember
that that show
that was her last show
in Edinburgh last year
and that was
a really bad ending
my only show
it was your only show
it was everywhere
and he fucked you
you went over there
all bright eyes
and bushy tail
I've got to be a star
I was like
I'll bring you to the show
tonight it'd be great
and it was like
that one old guy
and then like remember the little science students as well
yes I think they were like laughing at their own like science jokes
so they'd like say like potassium
and they don't laugh
I can't think any science jokes like no
you know those kind of jokes here in like a secondary school
it's like um why did the matter
lose its antimatter
because sodium or something that's not
I don't think I don't think that's the joke
I didn't do science but that's kind of like
it was that kind of in joke like that
they'll laugh and you wouldn't know what you're talking about
so it was a very sure
gig.
Do you remember at the end, I think I said
I hope you all die?
Yeah.
You know, I remember you on saying
you were like, oh, my heart's not in this at all.
Yeah.
You were like him in the crowd.
I normally keep it like together.
Yeah, yeah.
I said one of the few times I was like,
I hope the audience dies.
But it was like horrifically bad.
Like even, it was an anti-gig.
You know what I mean?
It just wasn't a gig.
Like no atmosphere at all.
Nobody wanted to be there.
I get depressed you're thinking about it.
Yeah, so do I.
I'm going back to bed, Brian.
How did you lose your virginity to end up there?
How did I lose my virginity?
Yeah.
Okay.
There is a little bit of a story to this, actually.
So I grew up in Monaghan.
Like, it's a real shithole, and I was going out with this girl for a few months.
We had this place in the woods where we used to go and, like, I don't know, what's the term, make out?
Oh, in America, like, you got the second base.
Yeah, it was like, make out point or whatever.
In the woods?
Yeah, in the woods.
Oh, sexy.
behind a mental institution oh just like a woman like facing her way well there is no one around but
it was a local drinking spot so we used to go there and kind of hand jobs and oral stuff all of the
building up so one night we're there we're getting into it and she asks do you have a condom which i
didn't and i was like right i'm not going to let's go get some condoms but i had no money so i essentially
went to the shop it was like 10 o'clock at night it was a little sweet shop called the bonbon that used to sell
cigarettes the kids but uh it's gone oh it's not doing free advertise no no it's gone now but yeah so i went
in there and tried to steal some condoms but it's a tiny shop it's smaller than this room and i'm just
there stealing the condoms while he's looking at me and he's like what are you doing nothing and uh
he threw me out of the shop and just then i saw my mother drive past so i chased her down the street
and threw myself on the bonnet of her car when she came to her red line and she was like terrified oh my god
what's wrong? It's like, I need some money, please.
So my mother gave me money
for condoms so I could lose my virginity.
God bless her. When I got back to
the woods, right, this is true.
I don't know, was it nerves or after
all the running or whatever? I couldn't get hard.
So it took me a while to get
That's never happened to me.
And I was like, oh my God, am I gay?
Is that what it is? Maybe I'm gay, and I didn't
know this whole time. But, no,
I eventually got hard. And
as we were having sex, a thunderstorm
was happening. So
I lost my virginity during a thunderstorm
That must felt good, like it was, it was pretty awesome
So yeah, that's the night, I was 16
It was good night
It felt like God was watching
He was coming on top of us
I was like, yeah, get some
Yeah, we had a treason of God
We can call it God
Or maybe the angel tears
We're lubricating us, I don't know
That's a good little fun story
It was, yeah
And then I went out with that girl for like five years
And we had lots of sex
and I could never get hard
No, I don't know
You'll have to brag
I could
Well no
Just like in comparison
To what my life is now
I go through lots of dry spells
So it's unfortunate
You know
I lost mine now
Because I was dating a girl
I kind of
You know that kind of age
It's not like
We're dating now
It's not much less formal
Yeah that's true
Well what age were you
Or do you
16 I think
Okay
Yeah 16 actually
because like and it didn't work out
and we didn't really do it
we didn't do anything at all like we didn't even have the woods to go to
so it didn't work out and it was a bit like
oh geez what I'm going to do
so I got a big fat prostitute
oh wow yeah yeah she's what you call it a BBW
big beautiful woman yeah that's
she's quite large then you would say
oh very large very very large yeah
so I'm 16 got prostitute and my dad
actually called me halfway true
I think he wanted to check with the cross
or something like that.
Did you answer?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, my dad's, like, he's a strict, like, you can't, yeah.
Brian, if you're with a prostitute, answer the phone.
The crops are more important.
Yeah, yeah, so, yeah.
What was, yeah, that's interesting now.
And she was like, what age are you?
And it was, like, 28.
Instead of, like, say, like, it was, like, me and my friend in the trench coat.
Yeah, wow.
So that was like, 16, yeah, exactly, it was 16, yeah.
It was a weird experience.
And where did you go?
Did she have a place?
Oh, she in a hotel, yeah.
I can tell you name the, it's near the rowing club.
In Carl?
So to figure it out.
If she's listening to this, thank you, madam, for taking it around.
She was very nice about it.
That gave me a bit of confidence then, and then, like, yeah.
And then I met regular women.
Not that she was not a regular woman.
Yeah, but a non-professional.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
yeah and I wasn't professional so yeah
well actually an interesting story
about this, we end it on this now
I heard from a good source now that George Hook
cheating his wife a lot
with a big large prostitutes
okay yeah that's like his thing
and again we can say this because I doubt
yeah I don't think George's got to listen
imagine if George and my priest both listens
and the prostitute
yeah and then like
they all came after you yeah well and then like
imagine if like George and the priest
committed suicide
I would a shame of it.
And like in 13 reasons why,
and would it blame me?
This is Sean.
I hope the priest does it on the altar.
He crucifies himself.
And you don't know in my look,
it'd be like on this Saturday.
You miss the whole thing.
Oh, no.
Anyway,
should we end it there?
Yeah, I think that's a good thing.
And we tied it all up in myself, a ribbon.
So we ended there.
Thank you for this thing.
this is our first podcast. We will be back next week with more shenanigans and fun and weird
sexual stuff and allegations about people who won't get sued. I've been Brian O'Toole. This has been
James Caden. And we have just fucked each other. Thank you for listening. Good night.