Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 101 : How to Sell Crack in LA

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Buy a wheelchair.

Today, we're going to talk about Training Day. Training Day, yes. A seminal masterpiece. Well, it's fun. From the writer of the movie where Will Smith fights a unicorn or what the fuck.

Bright. Yeah, bright. That was garbage. Written by a rapist. Yeah. Is he a rapist? Oh, Max Landis, I mean. Oh, Maclandis.

Yeah, yeah. No, he is a rapist. Well, let's not. Let's not. Bad mouth. He's not, you know. Yeah, yeah. Max Landis is like a guard,

you know, you can't talk bad about him. Yeah, Landis's are, uh, yeah. they're endangered creatures. Yeah, he raped someone in a helicopter while it was cutting someone's head off. That's a hat on a hat. Okay, we're talking about training day, okay? Training day, yes.

Directed by some guy. Some guy. Written by some other guy. David Eyre, yeah. Air, yeah, yeah, yeah. Air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did Suicide Squad and a bunch of other shite.

Starring. Yes. Denzel. Denzel. Hawk. Peak Denzel and Ethan. Ethan Hawk. You know, I have to say something here.

Yeah. I have to issue an apology to Denzel. Okay. Because for years, I would say they only gave him the Oscar for this because of Malcolm X. Okay. Did he not win it for Malcolm X? No, they gave it to Buccino. For?

For... Sent of a woman? Sent of a woman. But everyone knew that was really for the Godfather because he didn't get it for Godfather. So it was all like makeup Oscars. So they gave it to... Kind of like how DiCaprio won it for the Revenant. Yeah.

Kind of should have won it before that. Yeah, yeah, definitely, yeah. Where he should have won it for the film where he played in African. What? Yeah, remember that? South African. Blood diamonds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you want these diamonds? Yeah, yeah. That's not very good. I was so into that film when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, where's my diamonds? And blood diamonds in general? Yeah, only blood diamonds.

Mommy, for Christmas, can no, Santee bring me blood diamonds? So, starring Denzel. Yeah. And I used to say, like, oh, he only got that because he didn't get it for Malcolm X. Yeah. This is great. He's great in this. This is better than Malcolm X.

Does Malcolm X ever shoot up motherfucker? No. Well, unless you believe those declassified CIA documents, which I don't, because I'm woke. Yeah, yeah, they were all like, and he didn't, but he was planning. He was a domestic terrorist, that's what he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, an Eaton Hawk who, you know, I don't really like Eaton Hawk a lot, but in this he's good. I think he's good.

Like, he's decent. know, I can't think of anything else that he's been in that really blew me away like, you know, it's weird. Everyone loves him and everyone, all actors are always like, man, he's great, man, he's great. It's the stuff he, like, you don't understand it because you're just a pleb.

Yeah. But for an actor, you watch Eaton Hawke, and you're like, wow. Well, you know, he does, you know, I, whenever he's on screen, I always, you know, believe him. But, like, even when he's, like, very over the top, it doesn't feel like he's over the top.

you know what I mean? It's weird. It's like every performance he gives seems to have this kind of understated reserved quality to it or subtlety. Even though, you know, you look back at it, like Training Day, for example, and he's like very over the top at times.

But it kind of gives it that sort of, I don't know, every man believability. I don't know, it's hard to articulate, but I'd say I like Ethan Hawke. Yeah, I just feel like... Oh, Captain, my Captain? Yeah, suppose. That's a shite film, in fairness.

A lot of films he just seen to play the cool dad he's the cool guy in it like you're watching boyhood you haven't seen

boyhood yeah and by hood he's just like the cool dad who like loves the Beatles right kind of like

I am Sam he's feeding his children ice cream and the government's taking them away cool dad yeah

well yeah hawk is good okay I can't say now I think he's good in this before we get

into the film itself now let's be honest here I'm definitely a hawk in the situation oh am I

Denzel oh yeah you know the streets yeah it's true I do you got a few kids knocking around

you also like planting evidence on black people gotta love your work gotta love what you do you do it just for crack you know nobody employs me I'm self-employed I'm just I'm trying to tell you how the shit works Brian the shit's chest it ain't checkers

it's like James what are you talking about we're just planting drugs on innocent Nigerians when a new kid starts in your TV job you're like let me show you the ropes You get trusty people Smoke this shit right now I can smoke PCP Boo

Didn't know you like to get wet Jake You want to show football on TV You got smoked this Yo If I was a rail TX operator You'd be dead by now Yeah

Yeah Get the fuck out of my division You ain't got what it takes son So Okay Before we get into the actual Plata training day right let's talk a little bit about who it could have been

so hawk and washington were not the original choices okay originally originally it was going to be jackson and damon samuel jackson and matt damon yeah to be honest i think it would have worked with those two but i think it would have worked but would have felt uh it would be a different film yeah i think not well like see i kind of my i have this tendency to say oh i think samuel jackson would have like kind of hammed it up a bit

like Samuel Jackson's great don't get me wrong he's a really good actor but he kind of has sort of fallen into that Christopher walking he's a parody of himself kind of thing although I have to say I watched coach character recently he gives a very good performance in that

and he's not yelling I think it would have worked with Simon L Jackson and Matt Damon but I'm glad that it's Denzel more so I'm glad Denzel I think anybody any kind of generic white guy could have done the Ethan Hawk role but he is good

We'll get into generic white guys a minute but I think that the reason training day works a little bit is like you're not kind of used to seeing Hawk and Washington and this kind of like

a little bit trashy little bit a little bit crimey film where like Samuel Jackson you're kind of like almost like used to seeing him do shit like this

that's true yeah yeah yeah it's weird it really does walk a fine line because it is like kind of very at times

trashy style over substance pop movie but then you know kind of you have the angle of police corruption and this is the way the shit works blah blah blah it gives it kind of more kind of credibility or merit or something because

the time it came out as well yeah it's not too long after like the rampart rampart scandal where people are like oh this is relevant obviously now it's not relevant at all no the cops the cops never did anything but all got sorted out all that trouble all those kerfuffles

yeah they smoothed out the it's a big misunderstanding yeah yeah So the other white guys they were thinking about, okay, apart from Damon. Yeah. Paul Walker. No. He's not as, he's not as good. He is not as good an actor as Ethan Hawke is.

Now, like, again, maybe there doesn't require too much in this role. He's too handsome. I wouldn't even say that. Like, he just doesn't really, he never struck me as a guy who had a lot of range. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, he's just so handsome. I think because he kind of looks a bit, like, skinny and a bit, like, you kind of look like, yeah.

You kind of look like, pointy face, goaty, yeah, I could bend them over. Yeah. Does anyone else think that? I'd like to see you try.

Yeah, yeah. Hawk, he'd make, he'd have you for breakfast spout. He'd mints me down to you. He'd pick me up

and fly away. Oh, brilliant! Like the bird! Very good. Yeah, okay. Also,

they're considering Toby McGuire, too young, I think. Yeah, too young. Two baby face. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. And Eminem. Yeah, no, that wouldn't have worked. You sure? Well, I don't know. Look, the only thing we've ever seen him acting is fucking 8 Mile.

Yeah. Now, he is good in that, but he is just playing himself, so it's, you know. I think he could have a given that goal. I think you, I think definitely he could have an acting career if he wanted right now. Oh, yeah. He was meant to be in that sci-fi film, Elysium. Really? Yeah.

He was also going to be in Southpaw. Yeah, you're right. Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah. Who got shredded. Well, I could like to, I'd like to bend him over. I bet I could. But he'd pick you up and fly away.

Yeah, because he's a bird as well. A Jillynhole. A big gay bird, Jillynhole. Yeah, okay. What was going to say? Oh, and also, so Eminem.

Toby McGuire. I feel like he's another guy. Paul Walker. I know, Jack Black. Yeah! No way, man. This can't be the way. We need to rock.

This will clean up the streets. Yeah, that's a much. better film The other bit were to pointing the gun at him in the bat

unless you can rock out and then Kyle comes in so let's start off this film okay so it starts off

okay oh and it's also that's what I was going to say it's based on a guy called Perez who was a real cop he was one of the

guys in the Rampart scandal also linked to the Biggie Tupac murders Perez. Very much linked. Not just like he might have been involved. No, he was... The guy in the car doing the

shooting, like... Oh, really? Some people say he was the actual guy who pulled the trigger. Well, he... Because he did kind of work for... No, he... Not kind of. He definitely worked, like, security for, like, Shug Knight and Death Row and stuff. Yeah. So, yeah, but there's a lot of... Yeah, so the guy Perez, that's kind of who Denzel was based off.

He, you know, the way, his facial hair in a movie? Yeah. That's based directly on Perez. A goatee? Yeah, yeah. Okay. And, you know what Perez was doing recently? What? He was driving for Harvey Weinstein. Are you serious?

Serious. I swear to God. Yeah. Wow. Driving his limo and shit. Nice. That's a guy. That's a sweet gig.

That's the guy who's been around him so long. He could see Harvey rape and he's just like, yeah. And he seems as every other day. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, in my opinion, if it's not in a crib, it's not that bad. Do you mean a house? No, no, no, I do not. No, definitely not.

So starts off Eaton Hawk His first day Yeah As a big boy cop Okay He's been giving out parking tickets Sorry I just thought of a joke

Which really isn't funny enough To interrupt I was like What if like paedophiles When they're watching MTV Crembs We're like Wait what the fuck is this False advertising

Anyway Not good Yeah it's okay But I Yeah All right sorry So let's let's go again Training Day

We're going to cut that out We have ruined the flow that was not in the script You don't go off book No sorry Start off Eaton Hawk It's first day Not like traffic cop

Yeah he's kind of bumped up to What is it like narcotics Is that the division Narcada okay And he wants to be part of like Denzel's squad He's yeah Denzel Alonzo

He's kind of got like a hit squad Of sexy sexy cool badass detective dudes Who are also rappers Yeah yeah Well only one of them Okay Well I bet the other one's tried

Yeah They've said the N word a lot Of course well, come on And hope that it rhymes They're like This rapping is it? Screaming the N word at a woman So it's his first day

He wants to be part of like I'll go and call him Denzel in this I'm not going to call Alonzo Okay Denzel's division Denzel's division Yeah he's got a group of six The Denzel dudes

Yeah The L dude The L dude brothers So he's got a group of six guys he worked under him and Eaton Hawk wants to be the seventh

Okay Eaton Hawk He's got a banging wife back home Oh yeah Remember her? Vagely Yeah

She's a I think Latin Or something like that Oh Latino Yeah Yeah Hey deos Me or Mr.

Hawk I look I looked her up Please don't send me back to country I looked her up And he's got a kid With her

Oh Yeah But a lot of those Foreign ones They make you get a kid With them Yeah They trick you

Yeah Yeah And I looked her up She was a Former Miss T in USA Oh, very nice. Good casting there. Was she ever in anything else?

No. She might be in some stuff afterwards, but it's funnier if she wasn't. And she didn't agree to this. Is this part of the show? We could probably get her on this podcast. Yeah, what's Ethan Hawke like? Now she's driving a bus. She lost her job driving Harvey Weinstein,

but she couldn't keep our mouth shut, busy buddy. You know who's driving the bus? You know the song that, um, he does the naked dance in Silence of Lambs Buffalo Bill Oh yeah The good was

Dubah horse That singer disappeared And people found her driving the bus Really? Yeah she just drives a bus now

She just didn't want The fame at all No she completely went bankrupt Oh I see She needs this to pay for rent Like Oh okay

It's not a decision It's not like Warren Buffett Where it's like I have loads of money But I live gracefully Yeah Okay That's sad

She's had a very rough I think she's got like You know Problems In the head and probably like can't afford her health care bills Yeah, yeah Probably fanny problems too, Brian

That drives them mad Well, you know That's what my priest tells me anyway He's a very learned man Well, Ian Hawke Make me dear, no No, no Stop myself

We're gonna get longzo after you Yeah, okay So Eaton Hawk doesn't want to end up driving a bus He wants to be a cop So he says goodbye to his wife and kid And then goes to meet Eaton Hawk at a diner. Danzae Washington had a diner.

No. Ethan Hawk goes to meet Ethan Hall. Yeah, yeah. It's a diner. It's Kafkaesque. Yeah, it's my version. It turns to a big mott. Wherever the fuck.

Okay. So he meets Denzel in the diner. Yeah, and then Denzel, remember this scene where they're talking? And Denzel's like, I'm reading my paper. Yeah, yeah. And then he's like, tell me a story. Tell me a story. Entertain me.

Because you're, yeah, you're, like, you're insistent on interrupting my newspaper time, so you tell me a story and entertain me. So, Hawk's going to tell him an interesting story where he's working with this white girl, okay? And then Denzo's like, fuck her, fucking with the age! Yeah, yeah, yeah, she got a good, juicy ass.

Yeah. Was she, what's the word he used? A dyke. He has some slight, he doesn't just say dyke. It's something like, was she a slip and sleigh? Was she a lick? Ah, he has some term. okay

sure sure Brian he says was she a lesbian that's what he says yeah he put in cool

javved yeah yeah yeah I wish I could remember it now something like a lick lady okay

was she a lick lady okay okay this is going drive me crazy yeah we'll circle back

to this yeah if you know right in god the Brian and James Dyke hotline yeah

the dyke line it's like they thought I was a fool for reserving this number but who's laughing no it's like the phone

and Batman what's that I jumped down at the pole my butler's like is the lesbians again sir I'll cancel

tea then son it's a problem with Ellen DeGeneres I gotta go yeah so he keeps like basically what I'm trying to say

is he keeps interrupting Hawk yeah during his story apparently this is what Denzel did during uh rehearsal Oh, to kind of throw him off

And a proper fucked with Hawk Yeah He'll nearly walked at one stage He's like, I can't deal with this motherfucker Really? He didn't say that without to Denzel Because he's bigger than him Sure, yeah

But he was like talking to he's probably crying On the phone with age and being He's mean to me Yeah, yeah How come he gets to wear a leather jacket And I'm not allowed I should be boat rolls Like the clumps

I'm like Harvey Tooface okay um so uh he you know he's like talking to denzil while in the diner and then denzil's like let's roll

yeah you pay you pay rookie pays yeah they get in the car he's got one of those cars that like raises up

the hydraulics yeah they start playing a still dray ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding you remember oh yeah

that's a very cool scene like it's very you know well I love that album as well the chronic 2001 what's the point to do those hydraulics, hydraulics. Just looks cool, I think.

I don't think it offers... It looks dangerous to me. Yeah, well, I think that is... Yeah, it's kind of like a, you know... I'm not sure if it offers any sort of advantages in terms of auto motor transportation. I think it looks cool when they go bouncy up and downy, you know?

The Dodge Brothers approve of this. Yeah, maybe it's better when you're fucking in a car. Probably, yeah. Yeah. You don't even have to move. You just hit the button. And it's like, weir, weir. You could literally be dead.

A woman can ride your dead corpse in that car. Yeah. And then as your ghost is watching, it goes like, yeah. And she'll still bust the nut. I love it. So they're driving around, and basically Washington is, like, you got one day to impress me, kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to school you on the real shit.

These mean streets, you work with me, or you go back to sucking cock and giving their parking tickets. That's not what I shut up. So, first thing they do, terrorise. some white boys. Yes, because that's how we do. These little white boys

trying to score probably like 10 bags. Yeah, there's a little dime bag of weed. Yeah, yeah. So they go to the Cholos or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then fucking Washington is like, puts a gun in their mouth and it's like, give me the fucking weed, you piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, I'm going to suck my barrel, you little bitch.

Yeah, yeah. And the little white guy's like, Officer, please. He's shut the fuck up. My father works for Goldman Sachs and when I tell him about else.

Yeah, and then Washington says, which is a great line, I'm going to let those home boys pull a train on your girlfriend. Yes. It'd be funny if the white boy was like, yes. Oh, no, really? Well, whatever you say. I'd be a real dirty cock then. Funny, that's the only reason he gets the weed, just in case, like,

sure we bet if you pull the train on my girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. And the girlfriend's like, yeah, that would be terrible. She's already in, like, the gynecology stirrups in the back, see? Just spread eagle, ready to go. Choo, choo! So now they got the shit, okay? Yeah, they got the gear.

Okay. You know what Washington does? Denzel. Denzel? Yeah. Why, okay. I don't know. It's a, it's better.

Washington could be a bit, everyone knows. It's a lot of syllables. And a lot of time I keep fucking with got Washington. Yeah, Washington. Washing machine? Yeah. Denzel washing machine? So Denzel, okay

Pulls a gun out And it's like You'll smoke this shit now So he puts the weed In a little weed pipe Yeah And smokes the whole thing Yeah

He's like Taking some mad sized hits dog And all that Yeah yeah Virgin lungs He kind of roast them a little bit Yeah And Hawk's doing it

And he hasn't smoked Since fucking high school Yeah Yeah And then later Now I want to ask you a question here Go on Later on he says

That was PCP. Do you think he was fucking with him? Would white boys be buying PCP? Well, see, yeah, here's the thing now. What I often wondered that myself

because they like confiscated the weed of these white boys. No, I don't think they were buying PCB. I think Wachit, Denzel had weed lace with PCP in the car and just kind of put that in the pipe and made him think that, you know, so it's kind of like he did an old switcheroo on it.

Because kind of as we later find out, Denzel He wanted that in his system Yeah, yeah So, we'll get to that, James Oh, sorry Yeah, sorry This is a complex story You can't pull the tread too much

No, this whole thing collapses Yeah, yeah So yeah And so he kind of starts kind of bugging A little bit I tell he does good Fucked acting

Yeah, he does Because he's not, again, not very over the top, very understated and believable And then you kind of his POV shot where it's all like Greed and hazy Yeah

And you're like, what the fuck And it's like, yeah I didn't know you like to get wet, though, Jake PCP, shirm, angel dust That's what you just smoked, don't me? Oh, no, gee, Willickers, really? Oh, no, boy, oh boy, I'm going to get in all kinds of trouble. Yeah.

My old lady don't like me smoking PCB. His mother shows up with a broom. Mrs. Brown. I'm not smoking the PCP. I'm you're just. So, yeah, you're right. He does very good, stoned acting. Yeah.

Because, you know, sometimes you watch a film and someone was like, this is a pot brownie. What? And then the next thing they're like on the ceiling. Yeah, with a lampshade on their head. Like, with their shirt off pretending to swim. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not believable. No, but he's very, he's just kind of like just a bit monged looking. And he's even good at like, he's got that expression of I'm trying to keep my shit together. Yeah. But I'm struggling. So they go and meet Scott Glenn. Yes.

Yeah. Who in this film, they don't really say outright what he is. They say like he's a big wheeler dealer. Yeah, he's a big deal. Like drug dealer,

I think is, but like kind of, um, obviously him and Denzel. Like, so yeah, his name is Roger and Denzel. They seem to have like a camaraderie,

like their friends. So you kind of get the impression that this dealer, Roger is sort of being protected by the cops. Maybe he's giving them kickbacks and he gets to deal for them. Definitely. And later on, Denzel says,

is something like he's one of my guys, one of my first guys. Yeah, one of my first ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So definitely this is like a long relationship, yeah, yeah, yeah. And in this scene, it's funny, dude, all they really do, if you break it down, just show up, take a drink at his and leave. Have a drink a glass of whiskey. Well,

I would counter that with, there was a reason. Should I put it in? Should I say? No. No. No. Okay. It's best I don't know. Okay. I have forgotten. We'll circle back to it. No, no, this is just a theory. No real. Okay, okay. I thought there's actually like a legit thing I forgot. No, no, no.

So basically all they do, it's just kind of like sober them up a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he kind of soberes them up and, yeah. Glenn, he tells a story about the snail. Yeah, yeah, a little joke and, uh, hot. Yeah, this is really dumb. It's like, you figured that joke out, you figured the streets out. It's like, what does that mean? Blacks are snails. Because they're all slow and covered in slime.

Yo, Roger, I said I don't like you telling that joke, man. You got to chill out on that shit. yeah what is the joke then you should probably say it because the joke is like do you remember I'll tell I tell it I'll go on go on go on listen here okay there's a snail and it spends a whole year

going to the front door of a man's house the guy walks out what are you doing here throws a snail behind his house yeah snail spends another year a full year going all the way around from the back to the front of the house again man walks out you know we got a problem here yeah that's the streets

yeah it's like and then Ethan Hawke starts laughing but then he's like That's not funny That's not funny And it's like yes So what are you laughing for

He's like And then the old guy goes You figure that joke out You'll figure the streets out What is that made? That's retarded Unless I am just being an idiot And it's going

You don't know the streets I obviously don't How many snails are going around the hood Can you even like Could you make a stab At one of these? Yeah yeah I think

Deconstructed Something about perspective And one guy might think of a problem another guy is like that's just how it is it's the nature

it's in my nature it's kind of like another version of the parable of the scorpion and the toad that guy's gonna come out every day of his house

because he's got to go work and you're just there yeah so it's kind of like yeah so he's the cop and you know you're gonna always be trying to shoot them away but they're always

going to keep coming back because like the war on drugs is an unwinnable war like it's a bullshit thing you'll never you'll never stop drug dealer

or like, whether there's supply, there's demand or vice versa. But this old guy hasn't taught that far ahead. That old guy, if you was like, is that what means? You're like, I don't know. I'm fucking, I did heroin

three times and it's not even 10 a.m. Oh, you forgot one little thing. This is always the little thing I found a little wrinkle wit. Is Scott Glenn is like, uh, eating hawk, eaton hawk. Yeah, yeah. Uh, you play, uh, oh yeah, you played football in some college.

He has memorized everyone who's ever played college basketball and can tell them their stats. Nah, that's bullshit. Isn't that a bit weird? Yeah, it's really dumb. Yeah, kind of this whole interaction is very weird and doesn't really work. Yeah. Yeah. If you want thing, if it was like, I don't even think, because college basketball is one thing, I think it was like high school basketball or so.

Okay. I don't know, I always thought like, is that going to go somewhere? And it doesn't. Yeah, it was a bit jarring. You're right. You know what? It would make sense if at the start

it used to be a kind of a pro back in the day Yeah, you could have went pro Yeah and then he hurt his leg and became a cop

That would have worked Maybe that was meant to be included Maybe But I remember I did have a problem with Dan I was like

Yeah Interesting Interesting Then I'm going to call up Denzel What's the snail Mean Anyway, okay

So they leave Yeah Right Yeah They leave And they're They're driving along Okay

guess what Eaton Hawk while still blitzed out of it Still tripping Sees a rape Yes Yeah

And Has to hide his erection From Denzel Yo, you getting Hard there my man No He Okay

So he's like Whoa stop the fucking car Stop the car Because a little girl Like a school girl Outper Yeah Yeah

Yeah Is getting raped By these Homies Two crackheads I think it was three Oh I think it was two

Actually I think it's two Yeah Yeah So, Ian Hawke, like a white knight, virtue signaling. Yeah. He gets out of the car, runs down the alley, and jumps on the two guys. Yeah, starts beating him up.

And Denzel's kind of like strolling along. Just kind of watching. He, like, stands there, smokes a cigarette. He's still wearing a leather jacket. Yeah. God, he pulls that jacket off. Oh, yeah. This is all old hat to him.

He's like raping the street. Yeah. That's like, you know, like seeing a piece of litter to him, basically. Well, that's like seeing a snail. on your front door you rape that snail yeah yeah so um

uh hawk is getting a little bit beaten up but then hawk does like a kind of a choke move it's meant to be banned because they mentioned uh rodney king earlier yeah yeah yeah yeah that shit can't fly

anymore yeah yeah but then hawk does it because he's panicking okay yeah he's there's two on one and they're beating him and one of them has a knife so he's got to do what he has to do so you know then tells watch a little bit chuckle then gets involved

yeah takes out his two guns two guns I don't think they're issued by the police No, they look custom made Yeah, okay And then he's like, you know, you want Did you say suck my dick? You said, suck my dick, bitch, that's what you said?

That's what you said? Oh, that's not what you say. So I'm lying, which ball you want? The left or right, make a decision. Yeah, he's going to shoot off on his balls. Yeah, there's a great little scene actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then he just, he like pistol whips him and kicks him in the balls. He doesn't actually shoot his dick.

It's good. Yeah, yeah. And the kind of, scare him off. Oh, and then Hawke finds a wallet. Yes. Yeah. He picks up the wallet of the schoolgirl. Yeah. And like, they were like, uh, and the schoolgirl was like, you mace. They're gonna blast

you fools. Homery, you're going to get pop. That's what she says. I'm not the racist here. James just, James just played a recording from the movie. Yes, yes, I did. But yeah, so she's like kind of, you know, she's got, uh, you know, she's from the hood or whatever she's kind of like Hispanic and maybe

her cousin she says or in like yeah during a gang they don't say MS-13 but some kind of straight gang I don't think MS-13 was around back then or at least it wouldn't have been known 2001 did people know about maybe not okay

so what like Latin kings or some yeah it's the laugh yeah let me tell you man my man Jerry Adams gonna fuck you fools up we're gonna blast on you motherfuckers man y'all it's fucked you

yeah same text up this morning the fucking mate. So they're like, okay, we stop the rape. What we're going to do next? It's pick on the guy

in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they, who is it in the wheelchair? Snoop. None other than Snoop Dog. Yeah. And they roll up on them and it's like,

yo, let me get like a, something, a crack. Yeah. Can I have a crack, rock, please? Just one. I'm on a diet.

But then Snoop Dog, he ain't no fool. He says, you smell like baking up this motherfucker. And Hawks like, What's that mean? You call me cow.

Is that anti-Muslim rhetoric, is it? Seeing on fat. You call me a fat Muslim. You call me Ahmad Dajali or whatever the fuck his name is. Big fan, big fan. Me and my wife watch him. So fucking Snoop Dog starts fucking,

he takes off in the wheelchair and he's picking up some speed. Oh yeah, it's downhill, yeah. And then Ethan Hawk has to run after him. Then he goes into like Asian not massage parlor I think it's a nail place It's something like that, yeah

It's a nail place And they're like, no, snuttle, get my star now, get my star! Yeah, yeah Back up off me, motherfucker. Yeah. So they catch them up. I'm doing all the voices today folks. Come on, guys. It's a smorgasbord. It's 101, we can do this.

Yeah. Voice is 101. So they catch him eventually. It was fair play to them, catching a guy in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tax dollars hard at work there. And guess what? No, no crack on him. Where's this crack gone? He was slinging rocks.

Where's the crack? That should be a kid's book. Where's the crack? Where's the crack gone? The sneaky crack rock dealer. Yeah, yeah. So, um, Hawks like, oh, gee whiz,

there's no crack here. We got to apologize to him now. We made a big mistake. We're probably going to get fired. This is a citation waiting to be written up. And then, uh, Denzel. Oh, he knows what's up.

Let me get, uh, can I borrow pay. pencil. Yeah. Shove the pencil in his mouth full of crack. He vomits and pukes up

six crack rocks I believe and they find a gun on him. And a goldfish. And a gold fish. It's Steveo, yeah. Yeah, so they find all this

Jackass, welcome to puking up crack rocks. They find all this shit and like, who gave it to you? Yeah. Who gave it to you? Who gave it to you?

You got a gun and crack you're going to be doing, you're on probation. You're looking at least 10 years. 10 years, okay? Yeah, minimum.

And he's like, I ain't, I ain't saying shit. I ain't saying shit to you, Denzel. I ain't snitchin, motherfucker. Yo, Crimson Tide, overrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, true. But then Denzel takes out his gun and starts dropping bullets. Yeah, yeah. And the bullet represents a year.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it's Snoop's gun, isn't it? And, like, yeah, each bullet is like, there's a year, two years, three years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's kind of like, because it's something about, like, the more bullets you have, the more you're going to shoot people.

I guess. I don't know. I didn't understand. I mean, I don't really think Denzel is playing by the rules here. He kind of makes him up as he goes along. No, I think he, he's definitely got a code and he follows it. And he respects the law. Yeah, he respects the law, the streets. Yeah.

Oh, man. Yeah. So, eventually, Snoop, it's like, oh, okay, it was the Sandman. Got it from the Sandman. That's right. And the big creak dealer. What is your problem? with Greg!

I love Greg! Yes, yes. Yeah, he's the crack dealer. Yeah, Adam Sadler is the crack dealer. His hench men. Chris Farley and David Spade. Spade and Kevin James, they're all there. They were going to cast Chris Rock,

but they thought that was a little too on the nose. So, um, where did it go next? Random House. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so they just like, uh, he goes in with a fake warrant a gaffe. Yeah, remember,

it's a menu. It's a Chinese my dude. You know who that woman is? No. It's Missy Gray. She was a singer.

She had that song. I try to say goodbye and I choke. You don't remember that song? No, I actively walk away and I listen to that. People try to hide it.

It's, no. It's a good song. Wait, wait, I do know that. People try to hide it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's her. Our world crebles when you are not here. Is she an actress or just another?

She was a few. She was also in Scary Movie 3 A brief cameo No, I don't think she does much acting Was she the janitor? Was she? He's been hitting his wife

Remember that? Yeah So, yeah But yeah, that's Mason Gray Who's great in this She's really like Yeah, she's good Very believable

Yeah Very believable So basically she's in the gaff With her son Denzel and Ethan Hawke roll up Denzel goes into a back room To check something now Yeah, he's searching for something

While Ethan Hawk has to keep The mother and son And she's very agitated. She's not showing any respect. Yeah, she's like, you're a fucking rookie. You're a fucking punk-ass, motherfucker. That's not right, you know. What if Eaton Hawke committed suicide?

Men's mental health is very, she's like, she's worse than the it gals. Yeah, yeah. Worse than Gemmo Daugherty. Oh, yeah. So fucking, um, she's giving shit and she's almost like getting in front of the gun. Yeah, she's like, yeah, you ain't got the balls.

Yeah, yeah, you pussy. Motherfucking rookie. Yeah. And Eaton Hawk's a guy. everybody helps. Like, how long am I doing it? One day. Please, I'm trying to one. Just for one day.

Oh, I've got. Oh, my God. Be peepied my bed. Oh, no. But anyways, so eventually Denzel comes back. He's like, we didn't find nothing. Sorry for the disturbance. Blah, blah, blah. Let me see that warrant. He hands it to her. It's a Chinese

takeaway menu. And then they leave. She's like, these bitches took my money. These motherfuckers rob me. What you doing? They blast them fools. Yeah. And then the, I like to call them heroes. The heroes, the neighborhood watch spring into

action. Yeah, yeah. Just happened to have some firearms at their disposal. Yeah, which is lucky. He didn't seem to be wearing a shirt, but he had two guns in his hand. One of them had a real belly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But big arms. Yeah, so it's okay, yeah. That's what I need. Yeah, that's what you need. A gun.

Two guns. A no shirt. Okay, so yeah, so basically some local kind of like Yeah, some local ads. Start shooting at the police. Start shooting at Denzel and Nathan Hawk. Yeah, and they have to drive away and the back windows get shut out. It's a good little scene, actually, because Denzel starts firing off the two guns.

Yeah. Looks so cool. Yeah. They get to drive away. I think they're cripsing to see. Yeah. Yeah, that was great. And then we find out that money might have got taken.

Yes, yeah. And, yeah, we do find that out. We'll find out why later on. Yeah, okay. Well, first of all, we go to, um, now I thought this was his wife, originally I think it's just his like bit on the side. Oh, Eva Mendes.

Yes. Oh my God. My goodness. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Yeah, she's like ridiculous. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I know why Gosselin got her pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, you got to lock that down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't just like, you know.

Yeah, I'll deal with the immigration problem later. Let's just lock that down. Yeah, they'll be in cages. I won't have to raise them. It's fine. Oh, too much. No, it's got. bossing said it

not cat yeah yeah mr blade runner two said it take it up with him she was a robot yeah

yeah so we meet her and he's got like a kid with her yeah Alonzo does yeah and she is looking fine

she is looking real good and the hawk gets on with the kid yeah weird almost immediately they have like this bond they like fall asleep

on the couch within 20 minutes yeah they're all like he's already like oh I fell sleep beside your son and the son's kind of like cuddled up to him

and it's real weird man that son was asking for it yeah yeah piece of hawks too clever yeah yeah yeah

you let that sun out in the wild okay like he's immediately he's going to be like I'm gonna hug strangers yeah

you're not gonna last see what happens yeah so what happens I think he just bangs Eva Mendez I think he's just there because he's like

you know when you get shot you need to relax yeah he got it's been a stressful day He needs to unwind. Kind of like when I hit that guy with my car,

I jerked off afterwards. Yes, exactly. This is like Denzel's version of that. But we also learn that where he, where she lives is in like a really bad like neighborhood. Like it's, what's,

they have a nickname for it? I don't remember it. Like Death Valley or something. Oh yeah, I think that's it. Really high. And everyone's afraid of Denzel. Homicide rates.

But like it's kind of like, it's a no-go area for police. But like, Denzel's like, I got the golden ticket because I treat them fair. But they know if they cross the line, I'm taxing that ass. Yeah, yeah. So it's kind of like, he's like the head honcho.

And they're all like, you know, showing him respect. But then as soon as he walks off, they're like, fucking sick of that motherfucker. Yeah, you know, making us do shit from. He rules when iron fist. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Like a dictator. People might be ready to revolt. Beware the eyes of March, Alonzo. So then after he gets his hole.

Yes. Okay. He goes to meet the five guys, the five kings. Is that what they're called? Something like that. Five guys burgers. Yeah, five guys. No, what are they called like the high priests or some shit?

Some gay shit. Some real. You're not real priests. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking liars. Yeah, basically guys high up in the LA. I think you're right, though. It's like the three, four kings or something like that, yeah.

Who aren't we, uh, royalty, you know? So they're all like, they're all like old, rich white guys and you get... They're all involved with the police, though. Yeah, but it's like, you kind of, like, one's a commissioner or one's maybe like head, they're high up in administrative roles if you know what I mean but yeah so Denzel's kind of got to go and it's weird because

they're all really kind of talking down to him he's sort of jumping through hoops for them you know there's real like patronizing condescending element to it but then they're kind of like Alonzo how did you fuck up so bad and then we get the sense like oh there's something that's happened

well well you find out so far is that Denzel has pissed off the Russians yeah the Russians and they don't care about a badge. No, they're gonna, yeah. They're not like, we gotta respect the place. No, no, so yeah. So, Denzel owes them big money. He was a big money. And he needs the money now.

No, like, it's, you know, anyone that's kind of brought it up, we're like, that's a fucked up situation. Like, you're, what are you going to do? You're in big trouble kind of thing. Should we reveal what happened now? I guess it doesn't really matter. It's not like people are watching this going, I mean, listening going like, what's going to happen next?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we find out that Denzel went to Vegas. Yeah. and beat a Russian to death. To death, yeah, who was high up with the Russian mafia. Yeah. So now he's got to come up with, what is it, like a million? A million dollars before midnight. And drop it off at LAX.

Or else the, yeah, the Russians are going to murder him. Yeah. So, yeah. So he goes to these four high kings or whatever the fuck. And basically we find out that the money he stole from Macy Gray's house, he gives to them. And then we find out why is like, ain't nothing free in this world, Jake. even arrest warrants So there's like high level

corruption going on here So basically he's paid With stolen drug money He's used to pay for an illegal rest warrant To go and get Roger Get Roger Scott Glenn Yeah Scott Glenn

And then we meet his posse His team His team and it's like Dr. Dre And the bad guy from the mask Yeah Yeah and then some other Peter Green It's a really good character actor

Yeah and some other white guys There's like one his Hispanic there, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. I didn't like him either. You're not Dr. Dre. Yeah, but they're all, like, cool to wear, like, suits or leather jackets.

They're all, like, badass dudes. Yeah, they all those, they're basically soldiers, like, yeah, yeah, they've been... Mercenaries, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't give a fuck. Yeah. So, um... So they all show up to Rogers' house to kick in the door. And at first, Rogers, like, because, you know, Rogers, like, he's been loyal for ages.

He's like, you're doing this really? Yeah. Oh, fuck's sake. he's annoyed. Yeah, he's just like, oh, come now. Yeah. This is too, that's a new door. Yeah. Hey. Oh, you're going to take a bit of money off me? Oh, sure. It's not, it's more the

it's the lack of respect that matters. It's just a bit rude. You know, I was about to settle in with a murder she wrote marathon. And you're coming in here. Diagnosis murder. All right. So, yeah, they kick in the door. They kick open door. They know where the money is.

It's under the house. Yeah, so they kind of go into the back kitchen, sledge hammers to the door to the floor and they start they're like digging up looking for big money yeah and they kind of have guns pointed out roger but roger's kind of like yeah you have to do this yeah do what you got to do whatever he's kind of not sweating it and then they find the money they dig up the money everyone gets their cut everyone gets their cut and then when hawk won't yeah hawk won't take the money hmm how much is it like a quarter mill each or something like that uh it's a lot it's a lot yeah yeah yeah yeah it's it's a lot yeah yeah yeah it's it yeah

numbers don't make sense to me but it's a lot it's all squiggles to me lots of green paper that buys fizzy dweigs yeah so uh fucking

but Ethan Hawk won't take his cut and this time Denzel's like okay I'll hang on to it for you but next time you gotta take a cut right

and then it's like hey mission done everything's okay hey Hawk shoot Roger yeah Roger's like yeah yeah shoot me

yeah sure yeah yeah and Ethan Hawk's like oh yeah yeah I'll shoot him a bang bang ah it's a bit of he's kind of like he's doing a little improv like he's in the groundlings or something they're saying second city motherfucker shoot that fool oh what up his gun was a banana oh yum yum potassium up my assyum yeah and then denzil's like yeah that's pretty

funny oh like your um like your improv work yeah yeah that's a bit yeah that's a bit work on the obviously from the dell close school thought i like it use that on your SNL audition but then he's like let me give me that gun from a bang bang shoots Roger in the chest dead yeah now why you Denzel do that

well it's basically because it's kind of like it's a bust out you know what I mean he's not just going in and taking in a bit of his cut he's taking all of Roger's earnings and I guess you know maybe Roger like

Roger obviously had knowledge has an pre-existing relationship with Denzel obviously his knowledge of, you know, felonious activities on Denzel's part. So because fucking Denzel's crew just ripped him all for his life savings, he could turn around to be like,

well, I'm going to rat you out. Yeah, Roger's got balls. Even with the guns played on him, he's got balls. So he probably would be like, yeah, yeah, good, good, good. And back at the head, he's like, I'm going to get this motherfucker.

Yeah, exactly. Plus, that's another thing. If he lets him live, Roger's going to come after him. You know, he's a big time dealer. So you got to kill him. If you're going to rob him. You got to kill.

You got to kill. Scott Glenn, I've always said that. It's one of my many manifestos. One of my 12 rules for life. Yeah, 16 rules for getting pussy, killed Scott Glenn. She'll respect you. So, they kill him, and they're like, yeah, we're going to

say this was, he shot at us. Yeah. And they have the one guy to shoot him in the chest twice. Yeah, they kind of, like, they plant it going on Roger and shoot him in the, because he's got the bulletproof vest on to make it look real. But one slips through? Yeah, yeah. Which I didn't know that could happen, but apparently.

Apparently, because they must have... Pretty close range, though. Yeah, that's probably it, yeah. But anyway, so, Ethan Hawks, like, what the fuck? This is crazy. You guys are murderers and drug dealers. So then they're like, yo, this guy's a fucking rat, and we need to kill him, too. And Denzel's like, no, we're not going to do that.

And there's a bit of drama where Denzel points a gun to him. And then Ethan Hawke points to go to Denzel. No, well, yeah, no, Denzel points to gun on him, and Ethan Hawke disarms him. Yeah. And Denzel's very impressed. He's like, my beep! He's... No, say it.

No. 1.1. My N word. Yeah. You, my N word. Very impressed. Okay. The student becomes the master.

Wait, to episode 200. Is what he meant by when he said. You know when I say, yo, Brian, my beep. I really mean, I'm impressed by you today, Brian. You have exceeded my expectation. When those black guys are making fun of me. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm like, I respect you too.

Okay. And then Denzel is like you got PCP in your system boy Yeah, think about it You got five officers Decorated officers here Who said you shot Roger You got PCP in your system

If you don't go along with the story And take the money We're going to throw you onto the bus So he's got no choice He's got to go along with it now Yeah So it's like wait You've been planning this all day

I've been planning it all week So yeah The PCP was a preemptive thing He wanted it in his system Very sneaky So now Hawk is like really Like he's not happy about this Yeah he's basically been forced into taking

He's been forced into like Being an accomplice to a murder And to steal drug money And yeah And he's like freaking out And he's basically like You know what fuck this I'll go I'll go back to traffic cop

I don't want this shit You guys are fucking insane I want nothing to do with it So just I'm out Does he actually say I'm out Or is just like I'm not unhappy about this No I think he does actually say say, like, they have that kind of conversation

in the car, it's like, this can't be the way it is, like, well, this is how it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary. You're right, you're right. I'm sorry, I expose you to it. So he's like, well, I can't fucking do it like this. You guys are murderers and psychopaths, and I can't do it. It's funny how I watched this last week, and I've forgotten, like, a lot of the plot points. Yeah. But you.

But Cadden's retarded brain to the rescue. Thank God. Yeah, well, I've seen this movie set. Like, I watched it like many times growing up like I loved it I was like it's so cool and bad ass it's kind of

I mean it's still fun it's a lot of fun but it's not like you know I kind of considered it a seminal masterpiece when I was younger answer me this because I kind of forgotten

why do they then go to the gangbanger's house is just like I'm going to take you somewhere yeah I think literally his excuse is I just got to drop something off here and then we'll go to the station

yeah it's literally like a kind of bullshit you know Ethan Hawk doesn't really know what's going on is like because you know thing about they've been going around all day like he stopped off at his missus his gap and bangor and so it's not like hawks used to it like yeah yeah so he's like look we just got to go in here for a

second and uh so they go to the gangbangers house yeah these kind of like uh latino gang bangers yeah now one of them is uh tukul choolo oh yeah tucco from uh breaking bad and bare cost all yes yeah yeah a great actor yeah doesn't really you wouldn't really see him like in pride and prejudice yeah he's not not like playing a lawyer anytime soon well maybe he will be James 2021

he should play all the lawyers I'm just saying like he is usually cast he he's been in like every CSI NCIS TV show always cast as like the gangbanger never as the detective no or the doctor or the brain scientist

the rocket scientist brain surgeon man racist who's also a gangbanger Hey man You got some problem With your mandola Alangara I need to cut that shit out Man

Cause you crazy man You're fucking loco So So um Hawke is then left Yeah So hawk is just like Chill him in the kitchen

With these guys Playing car Playing poker Yeah come on man Play some poker with us And he's like Yeah okay Okay

Oh he guys want to be my friend Yo swell I'm not very good But I got a lot of money Because I have a paid job Unlike you people from a good family Wasp

I went to Brown University Do anyone know my basketball stats I miss Roger He was a much better Host than you guys Where's my free drink Where's my jokes You guys want to hear a joke about his smell

Or as you call him relatives No, too far, Ethan, too far. Dial it back, my friend. So this is a pretty dumb scene. They're like playing cards with Hawk. Yeah. Can I see your gun? Yeah.

Let me see your gun, man. Yeah. So he gives him the gun. Well, he takes out the clip and he does a little cool trick where he pops the bullet out of the chamber and catches it. Yeah. It's pretty cute. Yeah, that trick won't help you. No, it won't.

Oh. But it's kind of like, yeah, it is a bit. But he's like, I got Denzel in the back. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't think anything's going to go wrong. because it's like Denzel's top dog Yeah Denzel nobody's fucking with Denzel

And I'm with him so So then they're playing and they're kind of chatting And then Mr. Mustache He won the gangbanger He's like Yeah he's like the car's gone man Yeah yeah It's like he played you for a fool homie

Once you sit down Play some cards man So they sit so like Ethan Hawks sits back down Once he realizes Alonzo was gone Denzel has left them there Yeah

And so he's like wait what the fuck They keep playing cards And then the conversation turns a little bit sinister A little bit blue Yeah Is this a red fox record What's going on there

It's like Hey big You ever have your shit pushed in I beg your pardon You bloody Oh you cheeky bugger How dare you That's not how it works

I'm not Mr Humphre It goes out It don't go in Pal I'll tell you that for now Opposite land So yeah it's like You ever have your shit pushed in It's like, I've had my shit pushed in.

What about you? It's like, oh, sure, I'm always giving love to the homies. So they're all saying that they've all been raped in the ass in prison, basically. You know, kind of a fun little colloquial thing. Yeah, and Hawke's like, I'm going to go. Yeah, yeah. So Hawk is like, all right, I'm starting to get a bad feeling from you, fellas. And yeah, so Hawke basically, he like kind of flicks the cards in one of their faces, punches the other one,

and tries the run but they all like grab them smash a bottle over his head yeah they fuck him up the girlfriend's like you fucked them up yeah yeah yeah yeah oh honey you fucked them up yeah

yeah yeah so then they take him into the shower into the bathtub one of them's got a shotgun yeah pointed at his face and then before they're ready to shoot him they go wait let's check his pockets

get his wallet and stuff and they pull out and whose wallet do they have the girl the girl from the rape The rape alley girl Yeah

Yeah And they call her up Yeah they're like Whoa this is crazy man It's your cousin Small world man Yeah yeah yeah So then

Basically Ethan Hawks like That girl was gonna get raped By two crackheads But I saved her today And it's like I swear to God And then the guy calls her up

He's like We're gonna find out And if you're lying I'm gonna fucking Like torture you Shoot even more Yeah Yeah yeah

Yeah your face It'll get double shot How do you like that I got an extra Big bullet in the back For liars for fibbers. With the word liar

right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he calls up his cousin, okay? And she's like a lying bitch, okay? Yeah. Don't believe any of them. She's like, no, I went to school all day. Hey, man, I was like in school and shit, man.

Yeah, doing numbers and shit. Yeah, yeah. Two equals three. Joey checks out, man. Yeah, okay, so it's like, come on. Tell the truth, it's like, okay, so this white cop stopped me from getting raped by two crackheads. Is he an hawk looking motherfucker?

Yeah, yeah. Do you ever see that before sunrise, man? It's like low budget, but like, it's beautiful, man. Like, the connection of the characters have, man. It's beautiful. It's so the cinematography is shot so well. And it's like with little budget too, man. But great dialogue, you know?

I was like, really invested in shit. Yeah, even if there were some white motherfuckers. Yeah. So they eventually decided not to shoot him. Yes. Like, there's trippy. Yeah, yeah. Trippy homes.

That's trippy. he was like, you know, he was telling the truth, it's like, and basically they're like, I hear no hard feelings, yeah, just Alonzo paid us to kill you, but you save my cousin, so we're not going to do it. We all good, gee? Yeah. Yeah, go on. Now, Ethan Hawk kind of, he

Ethan Hawke's a bit like the guy you knocked over in your car. He's kind of like, you know, walking away. He's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder. He's in a bit of a huff. He won't shake hands on him. He's in a bit of a huff. He won't stay for another game. As the blood pours from his head.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Winge, wind, snowflake. Fucking white privilege entitlement. Yeah. Oh, what? You think you don't deserve to have a glass cracked over your skull

and a shotgun in your face? Yeah. So you think Denzel paid them. Yes. Yeah. Okay, so you're smart, okay? Now, I've gone on Reddit and read some theories. Okay.

It was actually all a test. On Denzel's part. Because Denzel knew, no, no, no, listen, James. No. Denzel knew that girl was related to those guys, so he knew they'd look in his pocket for the wallet. So it was a test to see how

good detective he was. Okay, wrong because Denzel didn't see Ethan Hawk pick up the wallet. He didn't know the girl. It was, you know, if anything it's a bit kind of a silly coincidence but it works. I think it works in the moment the first time you're watching

you're like, oh shit, it works, you know. But yeah, no, it not a test he paid them to kill him but here's oh i'm reddit man now okay reddit okay hit me hello a m bitch a m so when um eton hawk goes to denzil's house yeah afterwards denzil's like hey you passed the test yeah he says that as i like he wouldn't lie he's a straight shooter he's a straight arrow yeah yeah so uh no i think reddit is uh wrong there in my opinion In my opinion. But who knows?

Who knows? It's from the same guy who wrote that bullshit about the snail and the basketball stats. So I guess it could be possible. Yeah. But personally, no, I think,

look, Ethan Hawk is a liability so it pays for him to be out of the way. Exactly, yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, what made me pop pop,

okay? Why did you go on Reddit to search that? You were like, I need to investigate. I know, sometimes they'll just type in a movie and read it

just because it always, always get something interesting. Okay. You always get some tarred being like, this is my take on it. And sometimes like sometimes people write

something like I noticed in the film okay that this the sled was called Rosebud henceforth. Where's my likes?

Yeah. Okay, so anyway when Hawk goes into a room we see some ass. Oh yeah. And titties. Do you see? I don't think so tithies.

No, no, okay. It's like pressed up titties against the pillow Which is a good look Yeah That's a good look The smushed up titties Against the pillow and the ass Yeah

It's a good look Those the best titties now Yeah Oh wait Oh yeah To be honest It was the pillow That was doing it for me

Oh yeah The best pillows Yeah Oh look with that pillows Full of feathers You cut up in a woman It's full of feathers Oh no

That pillow likes to go down Yeah That works because A pillow with feathers it's called down. Oh, I didn't get that. Yeah, get it. Listen to me.

I was just like, yeah, don't get it at all. Idiots. No, I'm very cerebral, Brian. A pillow with feathers, it's called down. That's what that's called. You know what would actually be... It goes down on my cock!

You know what fucking idiots would actually listen to it? And they'd be like, what's so clever? A podcast about pillows called Pillow Talk. Is there a podcast? No, there isn't. But people will be like,

that's so clever. And we get celebrities on. We get fucking Paul Rode on. we talk about pillows Yeah it was like Instead Because like pillow talk is usually Like

The talk you have after sex Yeah Yeah But instead I could just be like Yes we fuck this pillow I fucked the pillow No no That'd be such a gentle

Like we get Oh we got Keith McKinning on What type of pillows do you like Are like soft pillows Hehee We're so crazy Oh what do you like You're crazy

That's crazy Such a wacky comedic mind Black Lives Matter Bye Okay Okay Ethan Hawke shows up Yeah

And fucking Denzel's like Hey You know It's just all a test Yeah You pass a check in you Hey Hey if you don't believe me

Look on Reddit Yeah It's all a test Man it's okay What He jumps down under bed Denzel has a full loaded gun

Just under the bed Yeah Just wait But mounted as well On this thing That like Swiveles

He like Went under the bed Is like Are you coming to bed Pappy He's like Just one second Honey

I gotta fix this shit He's got a Like I'm fucking, he's got a shotgun mount under the bed that has the ability to swivel. I mean, I'm talking about a few hours, I'd say. But anyway, yeah. Yeah, that was cost of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine the kid getting a hold of it out.

Like, imagine the Christmas presents under the bed. Boom. Where's my transformers? Okay, so, yeah, so. So, a gun fight ensues. Yes, a firefight. Yeah, and it's like, bow, pow, and the sun gets involved, but the sun runs away and Eva Mendez is running around the place.

With her titties hanging out. Yeah, yeah. Distracting everyone. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Okay, it's crazy. There's pillow feathers going everywhere. And then, uh, Denzel's, like, jumping out the window.

Yeah. And then it gets a little bit over top, but you accept it. We're, like, fucking, um, they're bang, bang and they're punching each other. Yeah, and they're kind of, like, chasing over the rooftops. Yeah, it's, like, fall from one fireplace, one fire escape to another, and then fucking Ian Hawks on top of a car at one stage. Yeah, they kind of, they fight a lot. But yeah, it's very, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, okay. And eventually, we're not going to, I'm not to describe the fight. And then he goes like this, and he goes like that, and he's like, pooh-pooh. Punches him with a fist, but then Ethan blocks his fist. But then, guess what Denzel uses his other fist? Oh, my God. And then, headbutt, it's headbutt sooner. Oh, yeah.

Okay, so basically, like, yeah, they fight. Hawke gets the better of Denzel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a gun on him. Yeah. And Denzel's like You ain't you pussy You ain't gonna shoot me

Yeah yeah yeah Okay then everyone The neighborhood gathers around Yeah from the hood Right They all gather up It's like You wanna go home Jake

You wanna go to jail Or you want to go home Or something like that Yeah And all the people in the hood Are now on the white boy So yeah Like Denzel goes

I'll give five grand To the first guy Who drops this motherfucker So he's basically like Somebody kill him And I'll pay you And then nobody moves And then like

Somebody just walks up And drops a gun At Denzel's feet Is like Got to put your own working around here and so it's basically like saying nah fuck you we're not doing your shit anymore

yeah yeah great scene yeah all the homies team up with the white boy I'm like yes Terry Cruz is there with no shirt yeah I tell you what the only thing the rules so Dentell was a great speech okay but you know King Kong and got shit yeah yeah yeah it kind of ruins

the fact that like Terry Cruz is just in the shot the whole time is it yeah during that whole thing he's just there it's like 2001 before he was big so he was just, I mean, he's just a guy. He definitely works as like an intimidating guy. Yeah, but now I keep

thinking him in white chicks and shit. Brooklyn 9-9. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, him and Peralta get up to some shenanigans. Yeah. Oh, he's big, but he loves his daughters and he can't make the dollhouse. And he can dance. Yeah,

it kind of ruins it from me. But yeah, so that whole like, King Kong ain't got shit on me. Improvised. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Improvised. Yeah. All that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they all just kind of walk away like whatever. This guy's a loser fucking.

Now, here's the thing. In the original script, the ending was much more open-ended where I think like Denzel gets away and he's driving with the money to the Russians. Yeah. And we never see what happens. Right. Yeah. But Denzel was like, no, we got to see this guy get fucked up. Yeah.

We just see this guy get massacred. I mean, I think it would have worked if you didn't because, I mean, it's basically. on the guy Perez, right? He's still alive and kicking. I know, but for the audience, I think at the time as well, people like, we want to see a cop getting fucked up. Well, he definitely does. I mean, it's like a godfather style.

It's full on sonny, like, yeah, yeah. Bonnie and Clyde, like, yeah, he's just fucking riddled. Yeah, he's at the traffic lights, these vans pull up, a few lads jump out of machine guns and just fucking drill the con, turn him into Swiss cheese. Yeah. He gets all fucked up. Yeah. It's a cool scene. It's good.

works. Yeah, and he doesn't survive. He doesn't, no. He is full of bullets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He even goes to try and smoke a cigarette after being shot 50 times. It's like, that's all. That's how powerful nicotine is.

Yeah. Oh, I've got a craven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's me patch? So, and then Hawk goes home. The end. Yeah. Question mark?

No, the end. Yeah. Yeah, so. That's training day. That's training day. It's a fun ride. Very fun ride. It's a fun ride and two great performances.

obviously Denzel's is more fun but Ethan Hawks is necessary and he definitely makes it believable like the whole time I mean the first time I saw this I was like oh shit you know

this poor white guy's he's had a real stinker of a day yeah yeah yeah yeah I know the feeling hard day of school just like that okay here's an interesting fact about the film so while they were making it

the NACP the advancement of colored black people visited the set, okay? And they were like, this is wrong. Right. Denzel, you shouldn't do this movie. Okay. It's wrong.

You're playing a corrupt cop. People are going to like the corrupt cop. Bad, bad man. Okay. Yeah. And he was like, get the fuck off my set. King Kong ain't got shit on me. Yeah.

And he was like, yeah, I'm a black guy. Yeah. I should be able to play what I want. A villain, a hero. I'm fucking Denzel, Washington. It's more inspiring if I do a good job. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And it's true.

I think... We need a bit more of that today. Yeah. Don't I know who I'm referring to, but I know, you know who I'm talking about. Isn't there, what's that rampart with Woody Haraldson? Yeah. Yeah, nowhere near as fun, though. No, it wasn't fun, but a very realistic portrayal, but nowhere near as fun.

Yeah, but, no, I don't think what their argument was, you're going to make the audience sympathize with corrupt cops. and think, do I think it's cool? Yeah, I really don't think that's the case. Don't think it's cool to bang Eva Mendez. It's not problematic. It's sick. It's wrong.

Look at ass. You're supposed to like that. Makes you all confused. Yeah. Put your shit in that. Yeah, I will. Yeah. But, uh, so that was the, oh, also they did a TV show starring Bill Paxton.

Yes. One interesting choice to be like, you know, this role that Denzel did so good. And won an Oscar for. at Bill Paxton. Yeah. What an interesting choice. It was his last thing before he died.

He died, yeah. That's what killed him. I think he died before he even came out. Really? Yeah, they shot it all and he just died straight away. Yeah. That's a shame.

I always liked Bill Paxton. Well, he's no Denzel. I'll tell you that. That should be on his grave. Yeah. You're not Denzel. Not dead zeal. Yeah.

So you were saying, like, Denzel was kind of, he started to tuck over the script. A little bit like with the ending. He improvised a lot of the kind of cool lines. A lot of him messed around with like Right Yeah like Like I'm probably like

A lot of like the kind of dialogues Do all the memorable shit Yeah That's uh That's all Denzel Yeah In the moment Just having fun with it

He's he's great He really is Yeah Yeah The equalizer Yes You know who's equalizer now Who?

Queen Latifa Oh Yeah That's who they should get For the next training day Queen Latifah Training Bra day Hey oh oh I did it

Yes That's great That's an S&L sketch Yeah Yeah. They would love that. The swine. And also there's plans, who knows now with Corona, but there was plans to do a prequel.

Yes. Set directly after Rodney King hearings. That sounds really good now. Now, we were talking about who they would get. Yeah. You said that black guy. Michael B. Jordan. Uh, the other one from Atlanta.

Oh, no. Lake East, Lake East Stanford. Yeah, yeah. Now, who they'll probably get. I'm not too happy about this. They'll probably get his son. Oh, Denzel's son? Yeah. Because they love that. They're like, oh, the son has become the father. But like, what age?

He's kind of probably the age now that Denzel was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, he's in his late 30s now, isn't he? Yeah, he is. But, like, I'm just saying, I'm not saying it would work. I'm saying to probably get him. Well, I don't think he's got the charisma of his dad.

Yeah. Well, I've seen him in shit films, so I can't really. Well, like, the only thing I've seen him in is Black Clansman. So I didn't really like him Black Landsman I especially didn't like him No, it's that thing I didn't like him

because it was I didn't like what he was given Okay Because in both those films He's not like the fun guy In which films In Tenet or Black Landsman

I haven't seen Tenet Well in Black Landsman It's not exactly like Okay He's not I tell you he doesn't say King King got shit on me No he doesn't

He doesn't have a big You know He should have Fighting the KKK Yes Yeah Yeah But he didn't

No Make the KKK I need to I wouldn't be comfortable Given an opinion on him, you know, without seeing more stuff, you know. He used to play NFL.

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, because I didn't know, when I saw Black Klansman, I didn't know. I actually found out very recently that that was Denzel's son. I had no idea. Does that make me woke? I think so. I thought he's Bill Paxton, son. Game over, man.

Game over. Yeah. Okay, so Training Day, it's fun. If you haven't seen it, go see it. It's fun. Yeah, very fun, yeah. A real rocking good time Yeah, it's a real snapshot of that kind of

early 2000s post-gangster rap West Coast hip-hop vibe, you know It's impossible not to watch it and be like, I'm just going to drive around Carlo for a while Ling, ling, ling, ding, ding, ding. You've seen an old lady like, yeah, what? Got some crack for me.

Bitch. Show me that pussy. Show me that pussy, bitch. I'm going to put your ass to work, girl. Yum Yum Yum Damn bitch Don't you want to be making some real fucking money Put that shit to work yo

Yeah That's no that young old fella's gone mad in the head all together Jesus he's fucking these affairs He's a three-in-chale chap now Damn girl don't you be talking shit by me I ain't you fucking bug and you think I'm gonna let you slide on that Jesus no This is awfully to have to all together now

Talk like one of the bloody day pop fellas okay that's uh that's about it i've done all the voices now end it with an old white woman ha ha come full circle yeah cancel me now