Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 104 : Jason Brennan on the Rocks

Episode Date: February 14, 2021

Jason Brennan from the Shite Talk podcast shows up to talk about the Rock.

Here. Right. We are now recording the podcast. All right. This is the podcast, everyone. This is Brian James. Fuck each other with a special guest. Yes. I was done. Is that my intro? Do I jump in there now? Is that how I do a better intro, Brian? Yeah, do a better. Well, it's Jason Brennan from the Shite Talk History podcast and comedian and good, all-round, good guy. I see, that's how that's how you do with intro to I think I learned from the best I'm from the school of Leno you know Letterman can eat a dick it's Lenno all the way

I'm going to get a show directly before you're going to fuck me over yeah so Jason why why you here I'm here to record a podcast good we organise this well in advance

I was the right answer That was a test and you passed Brian's not very good with his tests They're not very invasive But he's trying What do we do here We've all got together to like To do a Zoom chat

Are we building a house Are we doing a podcast Are we all gonna fuck each other I know the title is like Yeah you got what it takes Brennan Yeah I listened to the training day The other day actually

When I was walking to work Thank you Yeah I like those were all my voices. I like how you take credit there, Kat and just like, thank you. It was like, I literally didn't play a compliment. I just said, I listened to it.

I thought I'd save you some time, you know. Yeah, yeah. It was. It was very good. It was very, very good. Thank you. I think you do a very, you all do a very good Denzel accents.

Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Brian couldn't do the accent. He brought makeup with him, but luckily there was no video element. But put the photos up on the Instagram. You've got to share that content.

Yeah, I got Brian and Blackface standing next to Clay and Maxwell. I'm going to nail under the wall. Yeah, yeah. So, Jason. Who was the last big blackface celebrity? The Canadian Prime Minister, was it? That's a Trudeau will be the last big one. Yeah.

It was the guy from Barcelona, Antoine Grisman, did it. Although the guys from Versatile did it. Those photos came out during lockdown. That's right. There was kind of like a purge of like all the old. sitcom episodes that had blackface so like the office community always sunny parks and rec they all

they're all off Netflix no black face on Netflix yeah the lethal weapon episodes yeah they're all with sunny lethal weapon episodes had to go that was that was real tough I love those and that's why they stormed the capital that's the real reason yeah I think well that's

what's her name do you all follow the news I don't really follow anymore. Especially, but Trump just got acquitted. He's not going to face criminal prosecution for inciting the capital riots. Okay, so he's got away with it

and he would have got away with it too if it wasn't for those pesky insurrectors. Yes, yeah. It's almost as if he's a part of the billionaire class and doesn't give a shit about inbred fucking retard running into a building and smearing their shit on Pelosi's walls but hey you know but there's wall street so that's the whole the stocks and stuff that's more

important now game stop did you get into any of that the game stop shit did you fuck with that i didn't because i was like right i'm not i'm not intelligent and i'm not very stupid but yeah like all i know is about these things is that if the news it started on monday everyone was by stocks by the time any of us heard about it it was like wednesday night or thursday morning so chances are the billionaires had figured it out by then and then you were just paying it in to be part of the next problem

I think a lot of people lost money on it like a lot of people so yeah my housemate is like he he used to be he used to do that I think he got a college degree in it and then gave it all up to work with his hands he's a carpenter

but he yeah he hates money seemingly but yeah he was he was trying to explain the whole thing to me as it sounds like the worst idea in the world because the only way it was, what was it meant to be like we're going to fuck over the billionaires. Yeah. And then as soon as the public heard about it, everyone was like, oh yeah, we'll fuck over the billionaires by doing the opposite of what we're meant to do with this thing. Like everyone went in and tried to make money. And they're like, well,

that's not going to hurt them then. That's like if you've ruined it in the space of 48 hours. Yeah. I think I'd have like everyone in my office bought stocks and they were, it was basically it was like playing Candy Crush or something. Everyone was just like on their phone for like 72 hours. He's missing around with stocks. How much have you put in $20? Like what are you doing? Stop wasting your time.

It really wasn't like I mean, yeah. Like what do you call it fucking Bitcoin? Do you like fuck around to Bitcoin at all? I'm hearing that's pretty hot right now. My sources on the street are telling me. I'm not intelligent enough to know what to do with any of that stuff. My housemate told me to put money into Etsy. so that's my that's my hot tip

okay don't don't blame it on me that's a hunt walkins kind of thing but I'll give his name out there at fuck you if you are but yeah he's saying Etsy's the big one and Tesla oh Tesla well yeah yeah sure

well isn't I heard fucking Elon Musk wants to like start his own Silicon Valley in Austin Texas which is where you are right now we should clarify I don't know if we said that yet but he's an Austin, Texas. Ah, yeah, I suppose you were talking about that

before we started recording. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I think he said the other day he wants to make Austin the biggest boomtown that America has ever seen. Right. You see he's getting out of Brogan and Chappelle? Do you think he's going to get into stand-up, maybe?

We're going to see Elon start an improv group or something. God, I hope not. That would be good. I really don't like him. He seems weird. He seems very weird. Anyone who's trying to help humanity that much is just, I don't like it.

Same as like Bill Gates. It's like, I'm all for vaccines. And then as soon as Bill Gates gets involved, I'm like, I don't know if I trust vaccines anymore. Yeah, yeah. Vaccines or computers or men in cardigans. Or people giving up all their money to charity. I can't.

That's not. You've got children. Keep it to then. That's charity. If you've raised them the way I assume he's raised them. Well, ironically, he did give a lot of money to children via non-disclosure agreements, but, you know, that's a story for another day. He was on that island.

You signed a letter saying that you're not going to talk about that on the podcast, James. That's true, yeah, yeah. Brian makes me sign an NDA for every episode. But, yeah, no, so it's, I don't know, it's, yeah, everyone's moving here now. Like, Rogan's here, I think Seguer is here, or I don't know what he's talking about moving. All the comedians are coming down. And then, even though I went, I was gigging there the other week, and there was 11 Chicago comedians on the bill. And I had an open mic night.

And I was like, hold on, wait, what's going on? 11 people. Like, you've all moved here. No, they're just coming down for a holiday, like a weekend, like a stand-up weekend. Or a stand-up, some people come down for a month, and they'll rent out a place for a month and just gig for a month and then go back to Chicago. It's literally like Rogan said, right, I'm moving to Texas. So all of you, bums, uproot your lives and follow me. but my children, they need chemo, shut up, you're queer.

Well, it's like, it's an awful lot of like single dudes in their, you know, mid to late 20s or early 30s that are like, I'm just going to up sticks and move to Texas just to do stand up, like, just go to, why the fuck would you want to go to open mic gigs? Like, it's not worth your life. Yeah, it's really not. I'm kind of hoping how all the LA comics go to Austin and we get to see Christa getting up again in the comedy store doing some spots you know.

Is he back? Is he back? No, he's not. No, he is not. Oh, he's back. He's back somewhere. Like, Florida probably haven't. Oh, of course.

Yeah, yeah. Florida wouldn't have him because he didn't go, he wasn't creepy enough for them. Well, he could just lean into that now, see, because now the, like, if the persona just to change, kind of like,

who else, Brian Callan, is he back yet? Yeah. He kind of is. Yeah, he's doing like podcasts and kind of yapping about, you know, being falsely accused or whatever, so.

Oh, so he's going to lean into it and that's going to make his, that's his career now. Yeah, kind of similar to, what's your name? The Star Wars lady or the Mandalorian lady, she's like, I refuse to be cancelled. I'm going to say what I want. So she's definitely kind of setting herself up to be this, like,

she got cancelled for the, you know, conservative free speech people. Didn't she get cancelled this week, though? Yeah, literally just not like, Yeah. Just straight away, she was like, you ain't canceling me, honey, uh-uh. And we're like, don't do the voice. That's why you got in trouble. Don't do that fight. You ain't going to tell me what to do. I'd be fucking a Mandalorian up in here. Republicans, you know, I say about Republicans is the same as Jews. It's the same as Jews and Nazis.

I think that's what she's saying. Oh, but no, she's been cancelled now. I heard she's doing, um, The next day it got announced that she's going to be the lead or she's going to be star in a movie and it's been produced by the Daily Wire. Ben Shapiro's going to be in the Ben Shapiro movie. She's going to play Ben Shapiro. Sexy Shapiro. You can clearly see, I have been juicy tits and I'm going to jerk you off with logic. I'm going to make you come in your pants with my logic. He probably does have like a size complex. He's a pretty little dude, right? Like a giant, giant woman to get, to play him. To peg him. Yeah.

Oh, with that too. Well, I'd be more likely to watch that. Yeah. But so. Although I think I saw that the other, they'd release some movie last year at the same production company. And I don't know. I didn't ever heard of it before, but I'm going to go have to track it down and watch it. Because it was described as a die hard during a school shooting.

Oh, we watched that. Brian, we watched that one. Run hide fight. it was like school shooters and yeah is it good it's it's fun but it's pretty stupid it's kind of like they don't know what they want to do

is like do they make it real serious hard hitting drama it's kind of like it starts like that but then immediately just goes real like you know the school shooter main kid is just like the Joker from Batman it's like you're all sheep and I'm gonna you know it gets very dumb

very quick it kind of makes school shooters look like real dork which I guess they kind of are. They kind of are, I suppose, yeah. Do you think like Alex Jones would have turned up to the premiere of it saying, these are all paid actors? All of these kids right here.

Where's David Hogg? He was in this film. I know he was. That little bitch was in Sandy Hook. Maybe that's what Jones meant. It was just he thought that Sandy Hook was run hide fight and it was a giant miscommunication. that'd be good now that's a good too bad it came out like five or nearly ten years after the fact

or whenever he was talking about that i don't know it's a long time ago yeah it's one of those you don't you can't even really bring it up as a joke because people get very upset yeah parkland it's pretty uh it's still pretty rough now you know because they were like elementary school age so i mean teenagers getting shot that's hilarious everyone can agree on that But when it's little kids, it's like, ah, that's no fun. Yeah, that's too far. There's a line here. Yeah, there is a line.

Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, relationships, 13 and above. That's the Delea line, I believe. Yeah, exactly. You're not frozen again, Brian, are you? No, I'm here. Okay, good, good. He just doesn't want to interrupt our great banter, our back and forth. It's good banter, like, so I don't want to jump in.

Okay. Well, can me and Katten don't really know each other that well. We've gigged once or twice. Once or twice, yeah, yeah, and then you head it off in the States, so I never really, yeah, I never got to know. I know Kevin pretty well, your co-host. Yeah, and I'd know O'Toole very well. And then we just never, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah. It's all coming together now. It's the start of a beautiful relationship, on Valentine's Day and all this. Oh, yeah, happy Valentine's Day. I keep forgetting. See, when you're so, like, so alone, you don't even register Valentine's Day as a thing, you know? You're just like, yeah, yeah. I sent Kevin message earlier on going, are we recording today after I finished with Brian and James? And he's like, no, I have a girlfriend. I'm not lonely. And that's why he's not here right now. No, he's off having that shit. Loving sex or maybe just holding hands, all of those things. That's actually, I mean, you know how they say now you're supposed to wear two masks? I

think you should also have to wear two condoms. We're in the age of COVID now, double bag it. Well, no, because if you wear two masks at the same time, it'll just create friction and it'll eventually they'll burst and you'll get someone COVID pregnant. Oh, okay. You're better off to wear no mask, I think. It feels better. Does any, like, so how is Austin? Like, Austin's a pretty liberal city. How are they treating COVID? Did they believe or not believe? Do they give a shit? What's the, what's the consensus? Everyone here believes, but also it's one of the least affected areas. And then people were also pretty fed up during the initial lockdown and they got over it there by like September, October, definitely.

That's when everyone started to come back out. Before that, there was, it was kind of open in certain places and you could do certain things and some people were doing stuff. But for, yeah, from like September, October, stuff was back to like, you can go to the patios and you can go. Now you can have like beers inside places and like food and stuff. I'm so jealous. I know. It feels weird. Even then I was kind of like, as I'm saying it, two things to all of me.

it's like stop rubbing it into people who can't do it and secondly even the stuff I'm talking about isn't that fucking cool or it's like you can just have I can have a sandwich inside I can pay someone to bring me a beer they'll wear a mask

no eye contact like it's just oh like it's not really it's not too raggedoshes how the other other half live yeah we can we can still do literally nothing there's nothing back we're just in it does Ireland have one like this

one of the strictest lockdowns in the world or something. Yeah. It's like it's fucking, we can do nothing. And it's been like that for the whole year. The summer got a bit more lenient, but then right back into it after summer. And there was really no end in sight. They're already teasing. They're going to extend it. It's fucking,

it sucks. Yeah. I'm okay with it because I'm using it as a way to stay in America for longer. Because I can't go home to a COVID country. I'm like, no, it's an extenuating. circumstances you can't send me back i'll get sick so the longer ireland as a nation stays in lockdown the better it is at least for me so at least think about work visa is it work visa it is yeah but it's going to end real soon but then i'm just going to try and stay for as long as i can just kind of hanging about just arcing around which it'd be that's the dream yeah well like even if you had to come back over you'd probably allowed to go back essential travel for work and

walk match, you know, all that. No, I know, because I was trying to come home at Christmas time and they were like, oh, you can come home to Ireland, but not a fucking hope of getting let back into the States. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, so, yeah, because I got my sister lives in Chicago, right?

And she had a kid there over summer. So, like, the whole family, my mother especially, is just like dying to get over to see her fucking granddaughter or whatever. And, yeah, like, there's, even if like you get the vaccine or you're going to be allowed to visit America or like how's that going to work I don't I have no idea that's I've stopped paying attention to stuff now because like

I don't know I used to be a journalist back in the day and then I gave that up and then since then I just kind of for the most part stop following news a bus band's holiday for you then I understand yeah so it's like when when these things happen I'll end up going and like doing a lot of research in the beginning and then once I'd figured out how I wasn't going to get sick and like what precautions I could take other than that, it's like, am I allowed to travel back home and when does that have to happen? And other than that, it's just buried the head in the sound. Yeah. Sorry, I kind of turned this into like an agony at, tell me how to fix my family, American man over there in the States with your health services and your medications. Please help us.

But even it's like what, like a week ago I had to do that like that it's fucking, you know, it's 2021. So instead of like calling up a lawyer or doing any research myself. I just put a story up on Instagram going like, hey, here, anyone know any immigration lawyers handy? Or, you know, can I have a go off your immigration lawyer? And then, you know, a week later,

you just have like a consultation and there's set to go. You're just some friend of a friend of a friend. Irish guy. Yeah, my great, great grandmother is part Irish. They're like, I'll help them out for free. You're like, okay, just yeah, don't ever work a day in your life again. Just put everything, ask for

handouts at Instagram and only fans. This immigration lawyer is brought to you by bluechoo.com. Promo code, don't deport me. I like it. It is weird now that O'Toole is not talking at all. Yeah, man. Come on, O'Toole, jump in. The Rock.

Brilliant, wonderful segue. So we'll just start out with some back and forth, a little bit of chit-chat, and then we'll have the rock there if we need it at any point. 10 minutes in. So Ed Harris wants to... Okay.

I love it. He takes hostages because they want to get money for military families. Yeah. Do you think that's... Do you think it's weird that they're portrayed as the villains in the film where in any other film they would be the plucky heroes going against the government?

Yeah, I was rooting for them, to be honest. I mean, it's kind of a virtuous altruist. reason to want to set off nuclear weapons, don't you think? Usually people that do that are kind of jerked but these guys I can

empathize with so I was completely going against the US military especially if you are the US military everyone's going to be on site that's fair play to them and it is interesting that didn't like make them like it's not like the rape

and the hostages or like fingering a child or anything, you know? And even like at the start when they're robbing the chemicals, the only one who dies really is one of their own. And do you not think there was enough time to let that fella out when it was like, seal the gates

and then they lock it all up and then they're just kind of hanging around like kicking tires looking at their watch. And they just, oh, we probably could have let him live because the gas hasn't even exploded yet. Yeah, well, after you close the door,

it's too awkward to open it again because you have to like, oh, it's really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. it's kind of like if you say goodbye to someone and then realize you're walking in the same direction you just cross the road and walk on the opposite side of the road. That's the

you just, you let this man die. Plus they kind of want to see, oh, let's see what this shit does. This will be interesting. A little experiment here, yeah. Well, I would have, I would have let happen to, I suppose it's a different thing when they open up, it's a different gas that Nicholas Cage has to diffuse at the very

beginning of it. Oh yeah. But the guy who is, like, his assistant, he's so annoying. I wanted to see him die. It was very frustrating that they didn't bring him back in just to die. Just to die. Yeah, I don't even remember. Yeah, he was kind of like, oh, we're not going to do it in time. We're going to die. It's like, shut up, pussy. Yeah, he has the heart, the thing to stab in his heart. And he's like, I can't stab this thing in my heart. And he just says that for like five minutes straight. And then it ends. And then he's like, I was about to stab this into my heart. It's like,

you're a bitch. You weren't going to do anything. You were just going to die of the gas. Yeah. He's the guy from high fidelity. A scientist. What? Nicholas Cage is a scientist. Yes, he is. Do you think it's interesting that he's in the Beatles?

He's a beetle maniac. Yeah. Now, in films, beetle maniacs is normally code word for retarded. Do you agree with this? I do, yes. I've heard that. I've heard that before. And I am Sam.

He's a big Beatles fan. Is your roommate a big Beatles fan as well? Is that where this hypothesis came from? Yeah. The blind side, that guy, big Beatles fan. He wasn't retarded. Oh, Sandra Bullock, yeah. Sandra Bollock, yeah.

There you go. Ah, okay. Yeah. That's all of the, no, Forrest Gump, they definitely use some Beatles stuff. Didn't he, oh no, he influenced Elvis and Forrest Gump,

not the Beatles. Wait, did he? meet the Beatles? He did. He did, yeah, John Lennon. John Lennon, that's right. There you go. Do you think he also listened to it on vinyl because it sounds better? Yeah, what a dude. That was such a lazy way of putting that in there, right? I listen to vinyl because it sounds better and I like the Beatles and then they never reference it for the rest of the film at all, ever. Yeah, there's a study done that most people who like vinyl are date rapists. So I'm not sure what if it's a qualitative or quantitative study, but I believe there is some statistics out there. I had heard that,

but I'd also heard they conducted the study at an institute for date rapists. So I think it's, the numbers might be a bit off on that one, Cadden. What? Penn State. Whoa, classic. Nice one. Good one, Cadden. So they need someone to break into the prison and they need someone who can break in or out. You love this film, didn't you? I only seen it like twice.

Yeah. Well, did you like it? Yeah, good. I'm not really believing you here. I mean, I'm not, it's kind of like a, there's there's no heart or passion behind it. This is very much, you know, it's methodical, it's paint by

numbers. No, it's good. It's good. He's reading the Wikipedia plot line. That's all it is. No, I've written down the whole plot. He actually has that. He's handwritten.

Yes, he has, yeah. I wrote all the dialogue and everything. There's lots of misspellings. It took me three days and now my little finger won't move properly, but it was worth it. Well, what do you think of Sean Connery? Yeah, he's good in it. It's kind of like his last really. good movie, isn't it?

Because he kind of did pure shite after this. Yeah, and then, like, What, League of Extraordinary Gentleman? Yeah, yeah. All of that crap, yeah. Oh, he did the one with Katrin Zeta Jones, where she, like, does the yoga or the lasers. Intrapment. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. I remember one scene of that movie very vividly, and then almost not any of the rest of it. What scene was it? Was it sexy? Yes, it was.

It was the laser arse scene. Ah, okay That's the thing I think it's about She makes him Impregnate her And then she takes him to the cleaners financially I believe is what entrapment is about No

It could be but also with a spy Yes Yeah What's a scene now when you're talking Here Well in that in that case then here Katten Do you think it was weird when the army guys go on to

the like they're at they get on to Alcatraz and before they like lock everybody down and like start their mission and Harris goes up to like a four year old girl and says hey little lady go tell your teacher that you need to get on the boat and go back to land and then just expects that to happen that and it does happen so yeah yeah but like

how context yeah go tell an adult like go and like what going on? Why did that happen? That's how, that just tells you how afraid teachers are of their students nowadays, because if, you know, a four-year-old can walk up to a 63-year-old woman

said, we have to leave and get on the boat. She has to be like, yeah, okay, I don't want any civil suits against me. I didn't touch it. I didn't hit you. I didn't piss on you. We're getting on the bus. I don't know. It'd be funny if the little girls is like, we have to leave

and teachers like, it's VX poisonous. it. I knew it. We got to leave. They all thought I was mad, but who's laughing now? Yeah, I'm watching a scene now, yeah, like, it's, her arse is nice. Catherine Zia Jones, not the four-year-old.

Yeah. She's blindfolded as well as she's showing off. They basically, they sold the movie on that scene. I think that was the trailer, just those, like, seven seconds, just repeated. And at the end, it just said art.

Do they bang? I guess, because he's probably the same age as Michael Douglas, and that's obviously what she likes. Maybe. Like, it was eventually in Sean Connery's career, it would have been nice to see, like, the realistic slow creep of age into it. Because his old tactic in Bond used to be,

I'm going to come on to a woman, she's going to say, no, I'm going to smack her, and then I'm going to kiss her. But, like, eventually, in a latter day, Connery, he'd go for the smack, and then eventually the girl would just block it. And maybe she knows Jiu-Jitsu, and then she just fucks up James Bond.

That would be pretty cool. And she pegs James Bond against his will. Yes. Yes. And I can't think of any Sean Connery catchphrases. Apart from Highlander, but myself and Kev from Shai Talk now have like a pact to stop doing Highlander quotes.

Okay. It's too much. Do you like Highlander too? No, I just like the first one because Sean Connery's in it and he's playing a Spaniard, but he doesn't change his action anymore. Er, can you dance the fondangle?

Er, my name is Jose, Emmanuel Jesus. You're expect me to talk? Yeah, so when she's pegging, I was like, you're expecting me to come? Yeah. So they cut Sean Conner's hair. That wasn't really worse bringing that back, but okay.

Now we know. Now we know. They then get Sean Connery out prison and they cut his hair. They get gay guy to cut his hair. Yeah, the sassy gay guy. I like. Very sassy.

The FBI gay guy. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? Connery, even though he's like a Scottish man from, like, who's in his 60s, he's totally fine with the very camp man cutting his hair. They even have a bit of banter, you know. But if you notice, you can zoom in on, in Connery's hand, and it's just clenching one of those, like, razor blades the whole time, just in case.

Just in case. Glasgow smile on his asshole, you know? You'll notice that at absolutely no point in any of that scene is Connery's back, even an inch away from the wall. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Well, he pretty much, yeah, then he's, like, he's making his escape plan when he sees the hair dressing. That's actually a great move as well, calling up the room service when you're in the shower.

And he's singing in the shower. That's good. Yeah. There's also, Michael Bay just writes. like all of those side characters. Like, they're either, they're just racist or misogynistic for the most part. Like,

they're, they're always some kind of mystic. Like, yeah, the, the gay, like, okay,

we're going to get a barber, right, it's going to be a gay guy. And then he's going to, he's going to make a bunch of gay yokes. I think he's just got everything's going to be super feminine. And then at the very end of it, when he breaks free and he has to,

like, you, does use him as a human shield or what's he doing with him? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. And then the guy's just like, hunkered over crying and saying, I don't even care of us I couldn't fight. I just want to know, did you like your hair cut?

For no reason other than just be like, yeah, I bet that guy's a sissy because he doesn't fire guns. I also noticed that any character that was African American was really like, oh, Lord, now, some crazy white boy just crashed into my boss here. This is wow. Oh, he really like, yeah. And you know that's exactly. how Michael Bay wrote it. That is verbatim. He was like, oh my lord, child, please. Well, I just felt the character. What if I said it this way? No, you will not. You will say it exactly has over. You will say, oh, this some bullshit. You will say it exactly like that. And it is, it is always

a cutaway. It's like, when all the public get thrown into the prison and they get helped captive, they do two cuts and it's both to black people. One of them saying, oh, this some bullshit and then it's a very large lady and she says oh he has a gun if i don't know we're bringing guns i would have brought my gun and then it is cut away that's lunel remember lunel from borat anyway no yeah well she's that's that's that's that's lunel O'Toole knows what I'm talking about he's just pretending not to no I know Lunel yeah of course she do she's still alive yeah I think so yeah yeah What happens next in the film, Brian?

Well, next, okay, he breaks out. He throws the guy off the wall, all right? And then he goes to meet his daughter, and his daughter's got a very sexy friend. Oh, I think the daughter's pretty sexy too. No. No? Not for you.

Trash. A dog. Just a pile of muck. Don't hold a candle to her father. Yeah, yeah. Those her friend and her talking are, the, that's the only way that this thing breaks like that

Bechdel test, because it's two women talking to each other about something that's like not the main characters dig. Very good, very good. Yeah, that's true. I guess it does pass the Bechdale test. Yeah, this is a feminist dream. Yeah, I bet you Michael Bay always has like

a two frame segment where it's like, there, there's two birds talking. Now let's give back to the real shit. All right, I'll keep the fucking femme box happy now let's get to the real stuff yeah yeah and fair play to him for it as well

because there's not enough people out there saying that James there's not enough people it really isn't in fact if you are one of those people who does say that a lot of people will tell you to stop saying it I've noticed anyway so then the FBI come along and they're trying to

arrest him but Nicholas Cage pretends like he working with the FBI. And then that kind of earns Sean Connery's admiration a little bit, trust. Yeah. Right. Now you've left out the entire Hummer Ferrari chase scene. Incredible

chase scene as well. It really is very well done. It's definitely one of the highlights, yeah. A chase scene that arguably could have cost more money in terms of damage to the city than what the terrorists were asking for, which was money that was legally owed to them. Yeah, that's

true. There is like an insane amount of destruction and carnage that goes on yeah yeah yeah but it's cool though because he steals the Hummer off a German guy so it's fun so it's okay yeah

so what happened next thing oh yeah yeah yeah then they land on Alcatraz yes that's right yeah but with a bunch of other guys but they all get killed yeah that does happen yeah you're really

painting a picture here, Brian. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, you mean, you're not wrong. Yeah. That's definitely the events that transpire. And then you're like, it's only these two guys left. They can't do nothing. The fucking world's fucked. Cage and Sean Connery.

Yeah. Anybody who hasn't seen this film and is listening to this, which I don't know why you would do that. But you are very out of the loop. You have to have watched it quite recently as well, I think. I watched it like three days ago. Yeah, okay. I watched it again this morning,

but I was watching the football at the same time. Oh, do you think there's any chance Man City won't win the league? No, no. I think they're going to walk away with it. I'll walk away with it, right? I heard they bought the league. Yeah. I thought so, too.

Do you think? I mean, I thought I heard so I can't. I'm not getting sued. Well, they got Saudi money involved. Kind of like the Kinnahins. Do you think there's any, what's the future for the Premier League?

Irish gangland crime I think it's pretty obvious it's heading down towards that direction as it is and that's where the real money in the country is and that's what the lads are interested in anyway it's either fighting or football so if we can get more of Irish drug cartels involved

along with Saudi princes that would be I mean I'd be a lot more interested in watching 11 Irish gangsters fight 11 shakes on a football field than watching the football itself. So there's like a thing underneath the prison that they can sneak through

but it's got stuff that whirls around and only Sean Connery knows how to slowly roll through the spinner things or else he's going to get on fire. What do you think of that? Oh wow. This is literally is this like a performance piece where you are like

you're playing the part of an autistic four year old reading the plot of a movie to his child psychologist. It's hard to describe the plot because it's mostly it's action, so I can't just be like, and then he goes, and then he goes, uh, duck. M-O, kabo, kaboon!

Yeah, yeah. Well, you're right. He does roll under some twirly things that could get you on fire. Did you say the reason why he's there? Because he was in prison. Yeah, because he can break out, he can then break in. Because he was the one man who broke out of Alcatraz. I thought no one ever broke out of Alcatraz.

Well, Clint Eastwood did, and then Sean Connery. I've been to Alcatraz. have you? Yeah. So anyway, James, how are you? I'm all right, you know, just trying to, just hanging on by a Fred while Brian erodes the foundations of everything we've built together with his incompetence. Have you been to Alcatraz? Yeah, I've never been to Alcatraz now. Why were you in Alcatraz, Brian? I was in America for three weeks and we traveled all around the country. And it's kind of silly. It's not really that exciting because I was a kid at the time. So I wasn't like, oh, this is where they filmed the rock or whatever. They've got little tapes you can walk around and it's like, like, definitely just like shitty actors going like, Arr, I'm from Alcatraz and I hate, I love eating gruel.

Gruel is what I called your asshole. When I was, I didn't get to go over to it because you have to like book that stuff way in advance. I was in San Francisco a few years ago and I was like, oh, just rock over to Alcatraz. no you've got to like book that like a month in advance and then so it's a bit shy i took a photo of it from like you know a mile away on land but then realized it's not that far like it's not i couldn't swim it and i don't know if either a ye could but someone who can swim properly can

because they start the the triathlon there every year like you you start the triathlon by swimming from alcatraz to land so the idea of like no man could have ever swam it that's the it's a third of an event that you take part in for fun. Yeah. It seems very doable. Do you want to hear some true crime, actually, so I stop being autistic? Go on.

Yeah. Actually, people have escaped Alcatraz. Oh, okay. Three people, actually, in 1962. Do you think it's possible that because the internet wasn't so big back then, Michael Bay just never bothered to look it up? Probably, yeah. Yeah, I can see that.

Or like, who cares? It's not like, you know, accuracy really comes into play on the rock. So who gives his shit? It's just cool to say, nobody's ever escaped the rock. Yeah. And plus, Michael Bacon kind of do what he wants. Anyway, I was, I remember a lad was telling me, this is actually one of the, you know, that comedian thing of, you know, the other week it was, this actually did happen to me last

week. A lad was telling me that he worked on Transformers 4 and that some of that shot in Austin. And they, like, with the pyro technics crew or something, they ficked up and burnt a barn. And then, like, the whole thing went up ablaze and the fire upgrade had to come in. And then Michael Bay took one of those megaphones and started directing the firemen how to put out the fire. Legend. Yeah, like no prior experience whatsoever. And they just completely ignored him, obviously.

But that's how confident that man is that he's just going to like, okay, well, there's clearly professionals here. I's still going to need to know, no, no, slower again, one more time. Well, Michael Bay, he's even said it himself. He deliberately tries to be the biggest asshole possible and the most controlling cunt possible on set because his opinion is if there's one bad guy, everyone else on the set will work together against him and that's good for teamwork.

Oh, okay. So he has a child sex dungeon set up in his trailer is like, I'll be the heel here, I'll be the boss. that nobody likes. What about recent Hollywood history, James, would lead you to believe

that that would in any way make him the bad day? Well, yeah, that's true. Okay. Oh, okay. He didn't share. He kept them all for himself. Greedy. Yeah.

Kept all the kids for himself. That's right, yes. And he wouldn't even treat them to a nice island. They just have to stay on the mainland. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, if you're good, I'll let you be in the Santa Claus three. We couldn't get Tim Allen back

But we're going to get Larry the cable guy's actual cable guy And he's pretty good You said I could be in Santa Claus 3 No, I said that three Santa Clauss were going to be inside of you It was going to be Tim Allen It was going to give me two other movies There you go And O'Toole

The old guy from 39 steps For fuck's saying you could have said Richard Attenborough that had been a good one that's what was talking about the miracle of 34th Street will be if you don't get AIDS from this guy on that

yeah here's another fun fact those guys never never were found the three guys oh really? Yeah still they're still out there or dead I like to

that's how the three strangers got their start a lot of people know that yeah well let's say yeah because either well wait so they're they either made it or they died they either made it and then they got away to freedom or else they died and drowned on the way well they've been reported sightings of them oh okay but they never got caught a male barista said he saw them in uh 1970 they had baristas in 1970 I didn't think that sort of thing was allowed back well they probably called him something else back then

but now we did retrofrey clears Italians that's what they're Oh yes okay

what happens how did he know him you must have looked into this then how did he how did he know that was him

well they probably were like wanted posters and news coverage because they're the only guys to ever escape from Alcatraz

yeah I'm on the Wikipedia page now and I'm already seeing like wanted posters and a huge bit about the investigation so it must have been

like But why is it important that he's a barista? Is that just him showing off in the 70s? Is that a cool job in the 70s? Wikipedia said, I can change it something else you guys want. Do, do. Change it to, I don't know, what's the... I can't think of any jobs.

I haven't had a real job for a few years. Land baron. All right, what happens next, though, too? Come on, keep this chin. In the early two towns, in the early two towns, a US Marshall got a tip from a in Brazil

from a bartender that one the brothers was there and then they tracked What is it with these service industry rats? Rats

Yeah You wouldn't get a trucker saying this he keeps shum Yeah or a prostitute They'd just be you know tight-lipped You actually not usually

but in regards to this Very tight-lipped Which lips you on about it works for both the jokes that applies so yeah at least one of them's hanging out in Brazil apparently because they confirmed it with someone else there was multiple witnesses

so I'm hanging out well how were they know in Brazil why would they be famous probably some weirdo from Brazil was a big fan of rock there's people in the service industry trying to get their 15 minutes of fame they're all failed actors or musicians

they're all looking for they're all looking for something to get on to the local news. This guy from Alcatraz 20 years ago, he's around. I saw him. You didn't see anything. You're Brazilian. You've got a very bad eyesight.

So then Sean Connery throws a knife. Now here's a fun fact. He throws a knife. What? At some stage he throws a knife at someone. Does it matter?

Did you watch this on YouTube or something just in like one minute segments? No, listen to me, guys. This is an interesting fact. He throws a knife at someone. I think you see it go into the guy Now in the UK released the film And in the DVD release

That was cut out because of knife crime in the UK Ah Man's getting stabbed up and teen Yeah They taught it would influence the grime scene My main man Sean Connery Be stabbing up bloods get me And in the Irish release

They left out all of the The connotations with terrorism and bombs so it was a fairly boring film it was about 20 minutes long it was just about a gay hairdresser and they really leaned into Nicholas Cage like in the Beatles there was a lot more of that in the Irish version

so why did they cut oh yeah in Ireland it was called the rock and roll hey there you go comedy so we see next okay we see a better look at the weapon because

it's like a cool thing where it's those of green balls all stuck together that's a really looks like anal beads like Shrex anal beads

that's what I think when I see the, you know the weapon what are the what's it called X NX what is it

XV Cyclone XV oh sorry it's VX VX VX that's VX VX

VX gas yeah and it can make you apparently I've written it down here okay you spasm

so hard you break your own back and you shit out your own skin nice yeah some of one of just the many great lines of dialogue

in this film like oh yeah the losers always losers always cry about doing their best winners go home and fuck the prom queen oh yeah

was the prom queen yeah awesome the amount of lad to probably have that tattooed on their arm yeah So anyway, Sean Connery dies then And it's

Oh no, sorry, I skipped something I was going to say, he's another fun fact, guys So the XV Gass and VX Gass in this Was then used In a report Before the Iraq war's justification For going into Iraq.

That's true, yeah, yeah I don't know if that's true or not. It's 100% true. That is 100% true. Look it up right now, yeah. Okay, so elaborate on that, Brian. Elaborate on that. So basically, there were some falsified documents about, you know, this VX gas.

Like, that's what they said, the weapons of mass destruction that Saddam Hussein were. You know, when they were asked about the specifics, apparently they referenced VX gas from the rock. So literally, okay, the chief of MI6. So in James Bond, that would be M, I believe. Judy Dench. So Judy Dench, all right, had information. And she said, oh, it's from a classified source. And it was basically a description of the fucking chemical weapon from the movie.

And this got sent around the entire organization and even to Tony Blair. And they're all like, geez, this sounds awful. And this is like a month before the invasion. Get Sean Connery out of retirement. were they just the big guns Were they talking about the VX gas Or this is the movie No they were talking to VX gas as if it was real

They were like They thought it was real So yeah The description of the fictional VX gas For some reason As a description For the weapons of mass destruction And provocation for the Iraq war

It's fucking insane And like your reaction Which was perfectly justified It's like That can't be true. But it's so fucking ridiculous. But yeah, it's actually true. It's mental. Yeah, they literally said the poison was carried in glass beads or spears. In glass anal beads. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, it's actually insane. Now, how did that, was that kind of like confidential?

How did that get leaked to the general public? It got leaked to the independent. Right. Okay. And then the co-writer actually came out and he's like, yeah, we just, it's this is, we made this up, obviously. for a film. But I also love killing Iraqis, so go for it, lads. Yeah, and the thing is, the British soldiers still went into Iraq, so, you know, testament to how good the rock really is as a piece of art.

But maybe they did sit down and watch the movie after they'd heard about, they were like, oh, this is just a description in a film, let's watch the film. Terror is surreal. Yeah, they were like, I want to fuck the cheerleader. Let's go in, let's fucking do it. Let's do it. boys. Let's go fuck the Iraqi

cheerleader. They really did overestimate the, because I guess up until this point there hadn't been a direct attack on American soil before. So they way overestimated what it was going to be because they're like, oh, it's going to be if a droplet of this falls onto

a city, it's going to be 70 or 80,000 people. They're like four giant planes or seven, if you choose to believe the correct number. How many? Seven planes? What? I think so, it was like seven or 11 planes or ever. It was either nine or 11 planes ended up crashing that day, I forget, but into seven towers.

Oh, that's what they call it that. That's why we call it 9-11. Yeah, and then there was seven towers, I believe. That's why, yeah. I haven't read into it for a while. I'm kind of going off of like old memory from when it was a child. I blocked out a lot of that stuff actually. So Sean Connery's then taken hostage then by the guys.

And Ed Harris says Liberty must be washed with the. load of innocence. Good line. Yeah. And then Sean Connery's killed and it's up to Nicholas Cage to save the day. Now Nicholas Cage is meant to be Arnold but that wouldn't have worked.

Now are you going to reveal that Sean Connery's not actually dead because he doesn't actually die in the film from what I remember. Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, he definitely doesn't. He definitely doesn't. He nearly dies when he falls off of the train car. in that train cart scene

which I don't know why there's a train cart in like underground in Alcatraz It becomes all Indiana Jones Yeah Why did you think he died? What are you? I thought he died for a minute I forgot

You're smoking too much Hashisho too That's your problem No I definitely in my memory I do remember him like Getting shot in the head That's weird I remember

Well Ed Harris is about to shoot him in the head And a hostage as well Yeah But so he doesn't die actually Yeah Oh I should mention as well The reason he's in James is because he's supposed to have had stolen something secret, maybe a...

Oh, yeah, I actually forgot about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A microfilm that contains all the government's most incriminating secrets. So the JFK assassination, Roswell, they actually say that. And so it's like, in this universe, the UFO thing's real. They don't push the boat out too much. on the conspiracies. They go with the two most obvious conspiracies.

They don't turn around and, you know, they're like Donald Trump's gay. That would be, I suppose it's too early for that. You can still call him gay. I suppose he would have been famous. He would have still, but he was still in home alone at this stage. They still liked him at that point. Yeah. So then Nicholas Cage stops him and, oh, just jets.

gone, I've forgotten the film, lads. I'm just looking after these notes here. No, I actually watched Mrs. Doubtfires, so yeah, I'm way off, way off. So then Nicholas Cage gets his kids back and... Yeah, you know! Yeah, you tell me what happens. They stop the bad guys and they save the day

and it's all good. What do you call it? Sean Connery escapes, but before he does, he tells where Nicholas Cage can find the secret microfilm, and the film ends with fucking him driving down the road. And he's like, hey, honey, you want to find out who, you want to know who really killed Kennedy? And then, you know, the end.

George Bush, Sr. George Herbert Walker Bush. Yeah, that's who they say. Apparently there was four soon-to-be presidents, not soon-to-be, but like four people who would be president were all around Dallas the time he got shot. And Woody Harrow's saying.

The people who were going to be, so, yeah, I think Lyndon was there. Bush Sr. was there. I don't know who else. That's just why I've heard the podcast. Well, yeah, because the president of America was doing a giant procession through Texas and through like the capitals and everything

and all through like one of the biggest cities in America. Of course, is going to be people who are going to be president. No. Not good enough for me. Cadd is not buying it. I smell a rat. You know, and you know who is at the State of the Union?

400 people connected to the US presidency. Coincidence? I think not. I was up there. I've been up a few times. Actually, I'm going up there next week. I'll be up at Daly Plaza next week for, just on my day off.

I'm filming in Dallas, but I always go down there. I like the idea of you going down with a magnifying glass, looking for clues, like, I'm going to figure this out once and for all. But they do have, like, then the exes mark the spot on the street, and you can go down, and it's hilarious because there's no respect given whatsoever. I went there last year with my brother, that you just have to time it so you can, like, judge the traffic lights and then run out onto the street and start taking selfies with the ex

where the President of America was shot. And then you kind of look back up to the, like, the D.D. Plaza at the bookstore, and you look at the window where he got shot and you go, not a fucking hope that guy was ever making that shot. Like, he was never. It's not him. It's definitely not him. Maybe the first one, but not the second. Yeah, yeah. I wonder if like there's frat boys

who, like, you know, take pictures of them taking shits on the X. I think that'd be pretty funny. I was going to say, is it, like, girls doing TikToks on it? Asian teenage girls dancing The last thing John F. Kennedy wanted Ask not what these Asians can do for you, just make sure these bitches

don't be dancing on my grave. There is on the, besides the bookstore but everything's called the plaque that talks about it, it does say allegedly. Oh really? Yeah, it says this is where,

and yeah and it's someone's like tip X that like yeah like just a highlight all the way around the word allegedly and it's great and they've just left it there because it says this is where former president of America JFK was shot allegedly but Lee Harvey Oswald and they've just left it's a whole cottage industry now there's like tours you can do and museums like I mean there's a whole like little kind of mini fucking uh economic uh whatever you know fucking a little, I don't know, a little, what am I talking about? College industry, kind of like... Yeah, college industry, there you go, yeah.

Do you take... Okay, I tell you what, if you're a betting man, someone puts a gun to your head and says, like, you have to bet on who killed Kennedy. I have to see... I know who. I have secret here. You've got to bet on it. You're going to pick, like, Mafia.

You're going to pick other people. Like, CIA did it. The FBI did it. The Irish did it. The fucking Russians. Was it... Lee Harvey Oswald, who? Who are you going to pick?

Right. Hmm. None of the above, Your Honor. I have my own theory. Have you heard of theory? You've heard of James. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. That's right.

Because he was tall enough to do it. I'm finally lifting the lid on this, mother. Jason, if you heard a theory that was an accident? What? Yeah, this is a real theory. Look it up. It's that one, the guys in the back of the car had a loaded gun, and he was hung over.

And he asked, this is, I swear to God, I'm not joking here. he had a loaded gun and he was hung up he accidentally pulled it and he's like oh jesus then all the second shot together we stick together don't be a rat and then they just fire the second one because they're like just to make it seem proper they won't believe it they won't believe it was an axe of better shoot twice you know aim once shoot twice the yeah I don't think that's true I don't know I did see the I saw the there's a guy there who goes around I don't know how to describe

you won't be able to find his tour online because he's just like he's a very short black guy who'll just walk around telling you that all of the tours there are bullshit, don't pay attention to them they're not true, only listen to his and then he'll let you have a look at his book

but in the book I got to see the photo of Jackie Kennedy trying to put all of his brains back in his head because this is like she's in shock and she can't like father the idea that it's way too late.

She wasn't too smart. Yeah, she's like, I'll just put it all back in once it all goes back in, he'll be okay. You know what's really bad about that is that Larry Flint and Hustler magazine actually released pictures of her putting the brains back in while her tits were hanging out. So, you know, very, you know, very disrespectful. He's dead now as well this week. He is, yeah, RIP, one of the last real ones. Who got him in the end? the people.

That's right. Or was it, no, was it, was it COVID or what did he die of? I think he was just being, Larimer Flint. I think he died of being fucked up

for like 30 years. He was a medical miracle every time he took a breath, like, yeah, he, 78. I mean,

he had a good old stretch, like, you know. Is that? I know, it is, that is a good stretch in fair. Well,

if you've been shot in the spine and you're like heavily addicted to morphine for decades on end, yeah, I think 70, it's pretty good. 82. Oh, he was 82, was it?

No, no, no. Just saying, I would still like to think I would make it to 82. Oh, okay. It's a very specific age. Well, I think you'd get to 80 for sure just to like hit the milestone and get all the plot it. And then you realize I don't have it in me to make a hundred. And it'll just be the slow creep of, uh, of degenerative illnesses over time. And then, yeah, for you just end it.

See, for me, take 82 and divide it. And then divide it again. And I might get. there, me, we'll see, we'll see. Yeah, I thought you're going to say that's the age that you can date. Yeah, that's how many chicks you've banged. Yeah, yeah.

It's your mother's maiden name and your first pet name, and that's how you get the name of the porn star who's sadomized you, I believe. That's the old. That's the old trick. No, okay, so if, O'Toole, answer me this.

Yep. If you were wanted by the FBI and you'd have run away now as a drop of a hat for the rest of your life. So I'm like Sean Connery. I'm escaping. You're just like Sean Connery.

You're about to go and I turn to you. It's like, I don't know if you can make it there, but if you can get there, go to my hotel room. Here's the number. Open up the closet and there's going to be

how much money in it to set yourself up for the rest of your life? How much you think? How much money do I need? yeah how much money do you think it be worth it to run the risk of going back to the place where the FBI are definite looking because that's the FBI's hotel oh okay yeah how do you do that yeah he's like they never explain that he's like to go back to my hotel which they're clearly looking for and he's the only person that they're looking for for $200 that you can get

back there there's $200 in a Bible go off and start your new life he's like I'll just not do that I'm a secret agent. I've gotten away from the FBI. Yeah, I just go Brazil and getting out with the other guys. Fair, fair. I think they died, Brian. Nah, I'm going to just keep looking for him. Nah, wait, so then Alcatraz people go to Brazil.

Nazis go to Argentina, and that's where the rivalry really stems. Nice. Yeah. so um here's have some fun facts about the rock go on um you know they shut down San Francisco to film the big bus crash chase yeah the chase it took 5,000 signatures to shut down two full streets

and they had to do everybody's dry cleaning what yeah just to keep them happy you know because he didn't want people being like you're shutting down the street this is bad. No, that's just one guy in the local area owns the dry cleaners and he's like, why don't we get all, no, everyone should have their dry

cleaning done as well. That's and then there's an apartment and say, yeah, and we should all have one free pint and we should all have, like that's just, this is like when the camera crew come to the Springfield and the Simpsons. Oh yeah, no, there's, you got to pay the tax.

The prison set was one of the biggest, prison was one of the biggest sets at the time. It was so big that other heads of studios would have just come in to be like, geez, you'd check this out. Okay. Cool. There was plans for a sequel

involving the FBI chasing down Sean Connery. What would you like to see in a sequel? We can end with this. What would be the perfect sequel to the Rock? And it's Sean Connery. It's not like a different actor. It was going to be shot like two years afterwards and like, you know, contracts and shit.

Okay. okay so he's escaped from Alcatraz and the FBI are after him but that really pales in comparison to a problematic interview he gives with Barbara Walters and that's what they really come

after him for where he says it's okay to slap women around yeah but then he like throws Barbara Waters off a fucking off a roof but he doesn't even tie your wrist to the fucking thing what a bastard see that's like his Al Capone moment you're like you can

get away with all of the with all of the espionage it's the it's the saying you're going to hit women so you can't you can't do drugs you just can't not pay taxes on them bring back the sassy gay hairdresser they're like a like a double team like you know jacky chan and chris tucker and rush hour i can't understand the cock's going into your mouth uh you know actually i would just instead of that can we just have sean connery playing chris tooker in rush hour Or Jackie Chan, that might be better. I think he'd buy you better with Jackie Chan. I don't know how much of a fan, Sean Connery, would be of Chris Tucker.

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. He only died there recently, didn't he? Sean Connery, like this year, wasn't it? Yeah, like, a few months ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he was, like, horribly demented towards the end. But the, yeah, he'd said he'd recounted.

at his ways and he doesn't want to hit women anymore and everyone was like he's gone he's seen he's lost it Sean's finished better put him down do you know who produced this movie no I don't is your mic gone Brian no it's I just turned off for a second

because I'm making coffee oh okay look so like in the early days of Michael Bay the result that most people always said he had like a strong help in hand from the studio that they would always like have the producers or even like secret directors out there with him just above him making sure that he was kind of like rained in a little bit and then and then he had a lot of success with the rock and

bad boys and things like that that I think by the time he got to Armageddon that he was like I'm going to do it all my own now I'm Michael Bay and never made a good film since no yeah he was kind of I think he wasn't really like a protege of like Don Simpson and Jerry Brochheimer Yeah, because the movie's dedicated to Don Simpson. This is Don Simpson's last movie, and that's also, you can go back and find, that's pretty much Jerry Brookheimer's last good movie as well, because he was with him with Brookheimer for, I have it here in front of it. Beverly Hills Cop, Flash Dance, Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop 2, Days of Thunder, Bad Boys,

Crimson Tide, Dangerous Minds, at O'Culio, and The Rock. And then that's like all of Brookheimer's good films. Directly after that, he just goes to shit. That's my childhood right there. Yeah. Dangerous minds. Yeah. It's a good shit.

Gangsters Paradise. Yeah. Is that kind of... Where are you from Monaghan? I am. Yeah. That's, is that a gangster's paradise? A certain type of gangster.

Yeah. Yeah. I call him the tax man. Oh. The local car salesman. No, a lot of ex-power military, actually. Very scary people. Yeah, I grew up with murder.

and they didn't care for my effeminate inflections and you know animated you know witticisms when you're doing

your little one-man shows when you're doing that your one-man shows like come on guys look at this I've murdered up to 150 people in Afghanistan I've done quite well

on stage some people say that that's murdering Mr. Bang bang I don't know I don't know are you ex-parallar military because you're making me weak at the knees oh you yeah and then and then

they like you know send me dead rats in the post and like a lot playing hard to get just local baristas and barman that's right yeah all touts um is there a lot of ex-military power military people in monhan ah there's a few yeah well like monahan like had a lot of like IRA lads and, you know, it's a border county as well. So, like, I'm, like, where I live, like, I live in this little village, and it's literally, like, a fucking 10, 15 minute drive away from the Fermanagh border. So, like, I'm right there on the, yeah, there definitely was, you know, a lot of people sympathetic to the cause where I grew up and a lot,

some people were directly involved, but I can't really say much more than that, you know? Fair, see, because me and Brian are so far down south that we're, like, so far removed. from any of it that we just get to make jokes jokes about it and it doesn't really affect us I've been in Dundalk for a long time so yeah

I have actually like yeah I've met a lot of these lads Oh you've seen some shit A lot of them it's like Ah yeah that lad down the pub there He got in trouble for fucking transporting a huge amount of fucking bombs Across the border

Okay But he's out now and he's grand Just don't get If he gets too drunk just watch out Because he will try and start with you Yeah yeah i'm gonna release a tell-all book i've got uh the ghostwriter of uh katie price's third autobiography interested so a lot of exciting things in the pipeline yeah i'm more likely to believe that that's

actually a thing that katie price is a third autobiography then oh man he's got like six uh i was going to say that that that's more believable to be than that the plot of this movie influenced the Iraq war, but then no, actually no, because wars have been fought over a lot less. Well, her books help a lot people, lads, so. Yeah, homeless

people stay warm at night. Hey, oh, roasted. Yeah. My lad's WhatsApp group every so often I'll get like a video of her son, Harvey. You're in one of those WhatsApp groups, sorry.

Yeah, a lad, any lad's WhatsApp that group. Whereas it used to be like not funny jokes but you are memes but then like in the last couple of years there's sort of in videos did you ever see the one of them

having sex in a bathroom? No, I don't think that's legal. Maybe don't knit down on the rock podcast. Don't sully Michael Bay's good name with his filth. Yeah, he's real. Oh yeah, he's into the rough stuff as well. Like he's proper going like

smack and going at it and he's a big boy he's not serious you shouldn't be admitting this man well he's 18 now yeah no he's like he's like 25 or something he's well old yeah he's grand he's literally

18 now yeah no sorry I was just watching a love on the spectrum oh this isn't actually Harvey Price no it was that was just an underword joke to tag along to it that's true I've definitely seen that.

There's like, but lads WhatsApp groups are like the worst thing in the world. Like you can't really, I don't open the things in then every so often what I'll do is like if you wake up to Preston like a Sunday morning, I were a bit hung over or something. You're like, oh, I'll go and spend like half an hour watching this like just the depths of humanity and then just the worst possible things that people have ever videoed. And then you forget about it and you're like, okay, I feel better about my life. At least I'm not doing any of that. And then that kind of powers you through for like two or three days.

It's a tribute to Larry Flint. Yeah, that's what he fought and died for. Maybe we should have watched that film. Brian would have been more interested. That's a good film. Yeah, Woody Harrelson. I watched it yesterday. Yeah, yeah, it's good.

I actually had to Rock and Larry Flint on the same time. That's why I was confused. Yeah. How long we've been going for? A long time. I'm going to end it now in a second. Anything you guys want to say before we wrap this up because we're going over an hour?

No, I just want to thank Jason for agreeing to do the podcast and is there anything you want to plug Jason or anything like that? I already think so. Shite Talk history, that had my podcast with Kevin Larney. I have another one at Heinfeit.

How many, do you have a lot of fight fans? What's your demographic? Do you have a lot of lad? I'm saying, you definitely have a load of lads. We have some lads. How many women are? We actually have statistics. statistics and it's like, I think it's like, I'm not even joke, I think it's like 99%

lads who aren't doing well. And then just one very depressed woman. I'm like, she really needs help. Dear God, reach out to this poor woman. She's like, what is it? So there's 98 single fellas. One lad has a girlfriend and he makes her listen to it. And he explains it to work. Yeah. He's like, you don't get this, okay? I have to. No, at the back of it, it's actually,

it's satire is what it is. It's satire. I know it's very on the nose. I know he's doing the accent and he's saying exactly what he feels, but it's satire. Satire, that's right. Yeah, man, it's great, isn't it? It's great I'll get out of jail free card. It's all

about intent and context. It's like, no, you were screaming the N-word through a megaphone. I'm not sure we can defend that. Well, that would you lock up Lenny Bruce, would you? that would be what in my mind Kramer versus Kramer should have been

it's just it's a it's a rose battle but it's just going back and forth saying the J-Rourke because that would be I miss him that was that was fun to have just comedy always needs to have one person

that everyone hates and it was Dane Cook it was him for a while it was Dane Cook who is it now actually who's the heel now people over here don't like that Brendan Schaub guy. Oh, yeah, he's

terrible. He's just like a genuinely bad comedian and an idiot. Oh, actually, I want I mean to ask you, Jason. Is there anything good about his like fight analysis? Oh, because you're getting into fighting, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. Like, is his fight analysis even good?

Yeah, he's like yeah, he seems like a nice guy. I don't know. He's like, um, he was a fighter. Are you friends with them? Are you friends with them? Have I just bad you've been stuck like God. Fuck him. Fuck Callan. Fuck all those bitches. I'm ending a show now. Fuck you. You know what it is. I'd say the reason like a lot of people don't like him is

like obviously his friends are Rogan and he's got a lot of success pretty quick. But like there's no difference between that and who like you know, what's her name? Jenny Slate or like who's the girl off Broad City or like any of these people. Oh, Eliza Glazer who was not on the ultimate fighter season 10. Yeah, but I've also realized now I've given two men and two women in a list now, so I should add a man before I'm like, all these women who are getting these

specials that they don't deserve it, no, but I'm like, these people who were famous for doing other things that weren't stand-up, that weren't, then they aren't comedians, and then they get a special on Netflix because they're famous and people like, because they have the streaming platform and have seen their face in a TV show, they're like, now you get

a special. Brendan Shob's the exact same as that, but like we don't tend to care about um so i probably just because he's friends with comedians whereas those other people can like feck off back to doing whatever you know like judd apatow and that he's my one i'm i'm starting i'll talk shit about apatow not shop i try to i go at him i hate him okay for no reason just like i need you need to hate somebody you need to like there's definitely reasons you need to have one you need to have one negative reasons yeah yeah but he's not very funny and he's very famous and then people who don't understand or like comedy like think he's very good and it's like he's

yeah yeah yeah yeah actually i'll give a plug i did i watched the feckin uh because i was bored and worked in the steve martin master class oh really on stand up yeah it's not going to teach you anything it's the same as like a self-help book it's all the shit that you know already but you just need is someone to give you a quick start like a jump start to be like oh okay i'm back at it then and then after a week or two that'll like dissipate and you'd be done again but as a nice like oh kick up the arse. Yeah, that was fun. Okay.

Did you pay much for it? I'd had a subscription over here with one of the lads I work with because it was only like 50 quid for the year or something that we got some deal. So I just had it and then never, I had it for a year, never went near, like nearly a year, never went near any of it. And then I watched that and then I'm going to watch that. What's it, Werner Herzog? Because I'm a giant dick.

Yeah, I'm pretending. Yeah, but I could just watch the Spike Lee one and then have things to talk about with other people. But no, I'll just, I'll watch the Warner Hart's dog one and I'll cry myself to sleep alone and then go like, why am I so lonely? It's because you only, like, endeavor to take part in activities that you can only talk about on your own. Like, it's

stupid. I'll end up like O'Toole someday. Oh, that's the big fear in the Irish comedy scene, isn't it? Yeah. I don't think so. I think there's other stories that have come to light in the past year. Yeah, very good. Yeah. The Irish comedy scene.

I mean, that was the big, uh, that was a big scandals. Like, Brian doesn't, Brian forgot how the rock ended. You get cancelled. Yeah, for that. He just puts, he puts, there's a long tweet. There's an Irish comedian on the scene who doesn't even know how the rock ends and he just retweets it and said, this tweets about me. And there's some truth in it. Yeah. No, no true. I'll never admit it. Never apologize for what I've done. I'm trying to work on it. I'm just a bad dude. I'm sorry. I'm going to watch the rock.

I'm sorry I've been telling people for years to watch the rock. I've never actually watched the rock myself. Yeah. I'm telling you, if I get me too, I'm proper going to kill a few people. Yes. Rock and roll, baby. Because the patriotism must be washed with the blood of innocence.

I get me too, and I'm taking over Alcatraz. So yeah, let's end it now. all right yeah well hey all joking aside but we have our goofs and our gaffs and all that but thank you so much jason for coming on the show despite many technical issues uh caused by me but thank you so much and cheers everyone for listening and we're gonna be back to you before you can whistle bye hopefully someday we'll get to do it for rails in person you know in person Someday we'll be doing this live and thicker street. So look forward to that in, I know, 2049.

Do you think you'll go that long with this? I don't know. Nah, won't survive.