Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 107 : Fly Fishing Daddies

Episode Date: March 14, 2021

We have a zoom dinner party and go back on the heroin.

Wagwam, everybody. It's Brian and James. Fuck each other. Waguan, my slime. What's happening? Yeah, what up? It's Brian and James. We're back. And this is a free episode for you people, you pavos. For all you plebs who can't afford the Patreon. Yes, you are subhuman and worse than rabid dogs that I shoot in the street for fun when I'm getting in character for my new movie. I shoot rabid dogs. I'm like Shia LaBoff, only not as likable. But look, we're back and it's been a while and things aren't how, you know, it's not how we want it to be. No, we're still doing the Zooms,

the Zoomies. Yes, we're doing Zooms for now. Things will get better. No, they won't. Stop telling them that, Brian. Don't give them false hope. The Biden said, Biden said we can start recording again in April. Sike, Bossman, Biden. I don't hear me now the boss man by don. Yeah, well like I think, you know, I think shit is like, I heard like salons are opening back up now.

I don't even know if they're allowed to be opening but I think a lot of them have just started opening like hairdressers and whatnot. Yeah, I don't know. I think even regardless, I can't keep doing these Zoom episodes. They're so shit. Yeah. They're so shit. Like I get so

depressed during them and not do it, Eugene. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was depressed before we started hitting record. Do you think I'm going to perk up? You think it's going to get better for me? No, not a chance, pal. You've had a pretty rough the last few days, haven't you? Yeah, I have. How did you know that? You could just tell. Yeah. I've not been sleeping very well the last while and yeah. But hey, you know, what are you going to do? I'm the same. I kind of like have college work kind of weighing over me the whole time and I have a lot of people, I don't want to say too much

because it's a free episode, but a lot of people in my class have been asking me lots of very dumb questions and it really drains you and kind of makes you question everything. That's why at the moment I've got two monsters. I'm drinking two, I'm double fist and two monsters and I got some

fucking vitamin pills like an old lady. Just to get me through this. I'm going to keep downing them. What are you on, the calcium, is it? Calcium, yeah, and vitamin D. You know what else is vitamin D by dick? No, I don't do that anymore, James. Oh, right, yeah, sorry.

Things have changed now. Things are changed now. Yeah, you're right. Men have to pull up. Pull up what? That's a hashtag I saw, men pull up. I can't do pull-ups. I'm overweight.

Hard problem. Bad upper body. strength. I can't do it. I mean, I'm a nonce now. Is that, is that, is it? Like, if you can't do a pull-up, you're on the register. Is that, is that the new criteria? Oh, no.

Actually, it's like, yeah, the presidential pedo test. Yeah, yeah. I was looking up, actually, speaking of petos, because we have to do a little bit about petos. Of course. Oh, actually, otherwise, our funding gets cut. We have to meet like a pedo quota. Yeah.

I was reading up about this guy called Carol Beach. I was sending you some stuff about him earlier. Did you watch them? You did. Yeah. Well, okay. Would you quickly explain? I would like to counter this now to an extent. You explain who he is and then I'll tell you why you're wrong. I'll tell you what. I will take on the role of government man. So this is who tells the official story. And then you can be like to kind of like, I know, like, no man, you're wrong. It's the true story. Gulf of Tonka, wherever it's called. What's it called? Tonkin.

Tonkin. Tonka is a little toy truck. I don't think that was the reason we started World War I. No. Was it World War I? No, Vietnam is Guelphal Tonkin. Lucitania is World War I. I always get those two confused.

There's nothing better than retards. Yeah, retards talking about conspiracy theories. Yeah. That's why people make fun of Alex Jones. he knows his shit that's true he can just spout off like you know what a drop of a hat you know did you see him on the flagrant

two podcast oh did I haven't watched it all yet he's saving that he's not looking well he's like he's more overweight than he's ever been and his face was like bright red the whole time he literally looked like he was seconds away from a heart attack and he was just like drinking straight whiskey

for the full two hours legend yes yes he's someone the more off the rails he gets the better he is so entertaining i mean you know sure it's problematic blah blah blah blah but who cares it's a lot of fun who cares a lot of fun it's like you people who are like he's problematic it's like you've given him the power then yeah exactly yeah we all just laughed at him he was just a goofy guy that was on the fringes and then you were like all the fucking gobs shouts were like he's dangerous that you actually gave him the power

Like if you just continued being like, hey, that guy's nuts. Anyway, do you know what I mean? But all the people are like, he's so dangerous. He's a threat to democracy. Yeah, you make him sound cooler then. Then all his fans are like, oh, yeah, he is. Yeah, exactly. Reverse psychology.

It's like when you find a bag of ganja in your son's room and you just go in and be like, hey, want to smoke up some 9-11 was an inside job with your old man? Let's do it, son. It's like, oh, no, this is lame, I'm out of here. Okay, look, I'm not really sure where I was going with that.

Anyway, back to Carl Beach. Carl Beach, okay, so he was a fella, and he claimed that he was molested by a lot of people in parliament, including an actual prime minister. So he alleged all this,

And then it turned out he was lying about the whole thing. And it's so weird, I was reading about him in The Guardian and they go, they keep calling him a fantasist. A fantasist. Yeah, it's a weird, like they decided to pick that term and then use it over and over again. But, so yeah, it turned out the whole thing's a lie. I haven't read too much about this, but this is like the basics. The whole thing's a lie. And then afterwards they found child porn on his computer.

Aha. Well, there you go now. So that's the official story. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Right. Yeah. So he was fucking lying, probably.

But you know what that is? And they use that to cast doubt on anyone that's come forward and said, oh, I was molested by people in a prominent positions of power in parliament. Bit of alliteration for you there. But so prominent positions of power in parliament people definitely rape kids, some of them. Not all of them, but some of them definitely have. And the fact that, you know, the Guardian would use terms like fantasist kind of is, you know, it's sort of subconsciously plants the seed of doubt in everyone's mind. It's like, oh, well, that other guy made it up. So maybe they're all making it up. You know, and it's just like it's a little subtle propaganda tool there. The propagandas, the propaganda people in power and parliament. Yeah. So, you know, for whatever. Look, they're all nonsense. I should work for the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so he accused

like if you want to pick like the most powerful like you know the way they're like oh no one be that powerful to like yeah to make this like to like push this narrative but like he accused a prime minister

a chief of defense a director of the secret intelligence service and the director of MI5 and the director of Mission Impossible too they were all implicated

yeah yeah the Palmer. But yeah, so but then turns out he was telling fibs. Yes. Telling noncy fibs and he turned, then he, they, well like, you know, who's to say that they didn't just plant

the porn on his laptop and framed them, give him the old stitch up, who knows? Well, we don't know, but at the moment, it only came up, the only reason I know about this, it came up today because I think one of them, one of the people accused, his name was Lord Britain. Okay.

It sounds like a superhero. Lord Britain, here to defend the queen and country from the bloody immigrants in scam that poison our streets. Oh no, it's Megan Markle. She's using her pussy powers to infect Harry's mind. But yeah, so apparently he died pretty soon after the allegations. He had ill health. Okay.

Really? Or was there an umbrella stuck in him? Yeah, yeah. Suicide by umbrella. It's a classic story. But his wife is now suing, I believe the government or maybe like, people are getting sued now

because they're saying like it ruined their reputations. Right, okay, fair enough. Probably sue the newspapers, I'd say. They probably ran with stories and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. But Carl Beach himself was found guilty of all charges and sentenced to 18 years of prison. So he's still alive.

So we could, you know, break. Get them on the podcast? Yeah. What? Is that what you're going to say? I was going to say break in and get them on the podcast, but yeah, yeah. We just dress up as like prison cards. No, you have to wheel in a cake, all right.

Okay. And everyone's like, or you know what? Easy way in. We just, you know, molested child that were in there. You know, we'll be sharing a cell with them. I'm two steps ahead of yet. That's bad. Not allowed to say these things anymore.

Yesterday it was all fine. It was all. good spirits. But today, no, no, no. Actually, speaking of people who would like to have on the podcast, just give a little bit Owen McDermott update. Oh, what are you hearing? What's the word on the street? No word.

The streets are silent. Right. There's been no updates at all. It's weird. It's just like he's gone. There's no word from him, and that's perfectly normal. Yeah. And RT just scrubbed him from the website, and they just do not mention him at all now. And like a bunch of the presenters

unfollowed him on all the socials on Twitter and Instagram and whatnot. So did they? Apparently, yeah. Look, I only know that from a comment that was made on some random like, I think someone on Twitter is like they all unfollowed him, blah.

But obviously Twitter is still like buzzing with, you know, the allegations and that he's guilty of, you know, all sorts. So do your research people? Yeah, we talked about it on the Patreon, so if you didn't subscribe to that, you're in the dark, where you belong, your bottom feeding, penny pincher. Yeah. What's been going on with you? Not much. It's very quiet here. Kind of going insane. Luckily, though, I've got really into True Jordy. Oh, yeah. So he's my friend now. Look, only good things can come from that, Brian. You know, I'd say keep going. with this. This is only going to, things are already going to get better for you. Yeah, I listen to the true Jordy podcast. That's the guy he's talking about football and I watch

football so I know what they're talking about. Right. And is he actually a Jordi like, yeah? Yeah, he is. Yeah, it's not a character. Why I'm on playing the footie? Get me, Wau Gawgwa. Jordi becomes Jamaican a little too quickly. Waguan with the Biker Grove and Ting, Anton Deck be my main man. Well, hang on. Let me try and do a Jordie accent. Oh, why I bit? Oh, you're getting on there, pal? Yeah, that's the, that's the extreme version.

He's a little bit toned down because he's a younger generation. Oh, okay. Outer, Mike a grove. But he, yeah, he's entertaining. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't be like, oh, James, your life is empty because he don't have true Jordy in it. Maybe it is. Feels pretty empty.

Maybe this is the key. This is the missing piece of the puzzle. Maybe a big fat Jordy was the one thing I need. finally yeah well then I'll just watch some Sarah Milican DVDs hey what oh legs legs

yes yes James see it when you can because they're going to come after us soon yeah it's all popping off let's talk about the murder then or do you want to talk about more true Geordie I want to talk with true Jordy for another minute okay

let's see how good of a broadcaster you are and let's see if you can find a natural segue from true Jordy to the murder of a white woman. Okay, this is good

now. It's like six degrees of Kevin Bacon. It's like swordfish. I've got a gun to your

head and there's somebody's sucking your dick. It's like, you got 60 seconds. Takes the best podcaster 60 minutes to do it.

But you got 60 seconds. Go. Did I ever tell you I actually do a, there's a rapist in college?

Really? Yeah. There were plenty of rapists in college if the statistics are accurate. No, just one. But anyway, I only go off. If that Lady Gaga music video is anything to go by, it's a big problem.

No, there was, I don't think I've mentioned this in a podcast, which is weird because we're so, you know, rape-centric. But, yeah, there was like this German guy who was hanging around my first year of college before I met you. Okay. I wasn't, like, friends with him, but it would be like, you know,

there'd be parties, and he'd be like, oh, hey, what's your name? Oh, cool, yeah, yeah. And he kind of had, like, a memorable name because it was a German thing. So, like, you know, I might see him around town or, like, around the college, like, oh, hey, hey, and that's it.

Yeah. For legal reads, that's it. I don't want to think we were buddy, buddy or anything. Yeah, we weren't Eskimo brothers. You don't want to say, we did everything together. That's just at the hip. But, yeah, so, like, I didn't take anything about him.

And then, like, about a month into college, I was talking to some girl. And she was like, oh, you know, this guy? And I was like, oh, yeah, he's pretty cool. She was like, oh, oh, no. Do you know what he did? And I was like, no. Apparently, like, there was some, like, there was some party where there was a girl passed out in the room. Like, you know, she passed out, so just kind of left her in the back room, okay?

Yeah, yeah. And then her friend went into the check on her, and it was this German guy and another guy. And they were both, like, you know, about to start fucking, uh, it, it was, it looked bad. Okay. They were, you know, they were like, um, taking belts off and stuff. Oh my God. Yeah. This girl's passed out.

And then I assume your one was like, what the fuck is that? And yeah. It's so weird. It's kind of ran around, just kind of ran the two guys out like, ah, shoe, shoe, you know. Yeah, get out of here, you. And then nothing came of it. Wow. that's fucking dodgy man

it is very dodgy but the thing I didn't know he's still around the college well he was like so no he's gone now this is my in the first year what like he wasn't in our building

or was he? No no no no he did what did he do architecture I think well last Christ yeah that's a classic sign

right there do you ever see those buildings phallic shaped Yeah. Okay. That's weird. Yeah. It's so weird. It's only, I only remembered it like this week. It's like, how is I not tell James that? Well, I feel like that should be the first thing I told you when we first met. That's why I've never befriended a German, nor will I ever. Them crouts are, you can't trust them. But so that's like, now that I've mentioned rape and murder and, you know, women and stuff like. like now we can talk about this big case that's been, it's really kicking off at the moment. Yeah, to be honest now, I don't really know any of the

specifics, I just know young woman in her 30s went missing, then her remains were found and so she was murdered and turns out it's a cop, like a PC guy policeman person, a coper, an old copper, a bobby on the beat.

Yeah, the old bill, the foes. A bobby on the beat. Yeah. So it's a cop that killed her. And so that's literally all I know. Like, I mean, do you know any of the more specific aspects or details? No, I can't even remember her name right now. Sarah Everett. Everly?

Yes, yes. Everd. Something like that. Yes, yes. Yeah, she was walking home and then she got murdered by this police officer. I don't know. I believe it's still all very up in the air at the moment about like why he murdered her. Yeah.

Like if he even knew her. or if this is like a, like a Buffalo Bill situation. Yeah, yeah. But so like in the last, since the details have come out, there's been a lot of like things been shared on Instagram and Twitter about like how women feel unsafe and they can't go out on their own at night, of course. Well, here's the thing, okay, because you'll get a lot of people online being like, who cares about women, like our fans, okay?

like, oh, who cares about I'm German, who cares about women? Yeah, yeah. This also applies for weak men. Okay. Like me. Sure, yeah, that's true. And twinks and stuff like that.

So, like, it should be in everyone's interest to, you know, to reduce all this shit. I think, yeah, of course. No, absolutely. And look, the stuff that women are sharing is all completely accurate. There are, I mean, it's completely undeniable. Like, of course, this is the truth. But I think the issue why, you know, women in Ireland especially got so annoyed is because, you know, as soon as they started sharing this stuff, then the hashtag, not all men started trending in Ireland.

Oh, that's just them trolling. Yeah, but even still, like, it's just, you know, emblematic of, you know, the, you know, problematic ideology that men have, even if they were trolling or whatever. That's just, it's just a bit of a, it's just a troll. and those guys they like they retweet that and then they go off and they're like

women will be upset by that and then they go off to do their own thing okay so you seem to know a lot about these types of men Brian like you can

you can argue with these guys on Twitter a lot but it's that's not really going to help no that's what that's what they want like you know they want that reaction

or whatever and like women are sharing a lot of stuff well men are sharing a lot of stuff as well. And there's one thing I've learned in this past year is that men who share a lot of stuff about toxic masculinity always have women's best interest. They're never using it.

There is the best kind of people. I mean, these very vocal men on social media, you know, I defy anyone to point to any case where they've been proven to be bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing like, I guarantee

you this. The guys, the lads who are going like, oh, I spend every day thinking about how toxic masculines you're bad, are actually way more dangerous than the guys are just like, do, not all men, ha ha, I beat, I win this argument, you know.

Yeah, it's true, because there are a lot more duplicitous and insidious, you know, plus they're more likely to be like, wait, I said not, I said women are okay, so now you have to touch it. That's the rules. I watched. Lina Dunham, shit.

Now I deserve. I've watched both Hannah Gatsby specials. You gotta let me bust. Yeah. No, yeah, literally they are the like the weirdest kind of creepiest. Now, of course, not all of them. Not all, not all, man.

No, no, a bit of wordplay there. It's just weird to me. It's a red flag. I'm not saying they're all bad, but like, it would be like, hmm, I don't want to go to dinner party. with you. It's like, yeah, when they really, you know, make it like a core part of their identity, it just, and there just have been too many cases of there were these guys who were very vocal and visible about all these issues. And then behind closed doors, they were

just as bad, if not worse, as the people they were speaking out against. So, yeah, it's just, I don't know. It's, it's, look, It's a horrible, horrible place for a woman. I'll tell you what, it just is. Let's give some real world solutions because a lot of these dumb cunts, I'm saying, I said it an ironic way,

but a lot of these women are like, oh, you're sweating right now, Brian. Are you sure it's so ironic? Oh, red like Alex Jones. But like, think how are we going to stop women getting raped? We got solved this now. Honestly, here, this is like,

no, I don't know it was a friend, it was a friend of a Vaj. that said that he read this thing, but there are, apparently is this campaign in England to put in a curfew, a 9 p.m. curfew, but only for men. So women can go out and enjoy the night. Well, this is 100% something that like a men's website made up. Again, it was just like a friend of mine that told me about it.

So, but yeah, you're probably right. Although I think it would be pretty funny. It's like, you know, There's going to be a lot more Mrs. Doudfire situations like, Hello, I'm just a lady, join the evening stroll. All right, lad you've had your fun, get in the van. Fuck off, Capa, you're not going to get me, you know. I love that.

Let's make up new stories to just to freak out men's rights activity. You know, there's going to be a men's tax. That's what we're going to say. They're going to tax you for having a cock. Yeah. and you know if you have both your testicles you're in the higher tax bracket it's the sack bracket that's what you are you're in a higher sack bracket yeah yeah so you got to ban the footy i hear they're going to ban the footy to stop to stop toxic masculinity that's right yeah

it's just going to ban through jordy with male cheerleaders that's the world we're heading to yeah how else can we stop rape I don't know Brian well you know how I stop it I don't do it that's not helpful enough

I'm doing my part I don't do it I don't associate with anyone who does it to the best of my knowledge yeah we don't you don't know no I don't know yeah look anyway

especially where you work I really can't I wish I could disagree with you on that but uh no you got me by the the short and curly zero tool yeah well done well done i was looking up like anti-rape devices okay uh they're not great apparently some of them there's like uh one it's like um it's like you know the sponge no uh you know the sponge in Seinfeld like the Seinfeld episode yeah yeah it's that is he sponge worthy oh you putting a sponge up there?

Oh, my God. Anyway, it's that but with spikes. Oh, wow. Yeah. Surely that's uncomfortable for the women, no? Well, they look, it's the lesser of two evils, you know? Okay. Yeah, it's very fucked up, you know?

And it is something that, like, even, like you said, like even like weaker, smaller men have to worry about it. I've always been a big fat old flikes, so nobody's having a pop at me. you know what I mean? Yeah, you can just skip around the middle of the night, you know? That's true, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just me on my pogo stick. Yeah, with your little short shorts. No worries. Yeah. No, actually, I have been jumped before when I was younger and I got like the shit kicked out of me, but, you know, that was, that was it. And that was pretty horrible.

I didn't enjoy it. Yeah. Well, look, we'll give you updates on the case when it comes. We'll break the story next. Apparently that police officer, I think he tried to like, smash his own head in. I heard he did, yeah, he ended up in the ICU with head injuries. So maybe a few coppers had to go on him or maybe some inmates. It's like they find out he's a

copse like batter the con. Man, I'm such a like naive person. I never even considered that. I just assumed like, oh, he must have hurt himself. There's no way the police or other prisoners would hurt him because that wouldn't be nice. Yeah. No, no. With all of our, all of our institutions worked perfectly. There's no yeah. Anyway. Okay, here's a question for you. They want to hold like a big protest about, you know, like

rape. Should they be allowed to do it? Yeah, I guess. Well, the police would disagree with you, James. Wait, is this in England or Ireland? No, in England, yeah. There's a movement called Reclaim these streets and the police have said they can't, they've made the decision to ban it, to ban

the protest, even though it's going to be social distance protest. Yeah, but like, wasn't there Black Lives Matter protests during the summer? I mean, you know, it's like, I'm sure that the police had to come out and say, no, this isn't allowed, but really, there's nothing

they could do to stop it. They just have to kind of attend and make sure nothing bad happens, you know? Yeah, it's not like the police can be like, yeah, fucking do it. They got at least like, make for liability reasons. It's got like at least... It's pretty bad now if they just go like in with the water cannons and batons and just the let the guard dogs on them you know just proper

just ravage them yeah with the water cannons we're like wet t-shirt contest look at all those feminists are you thinking what i'm thinking all right do do do do do do do yeah bro we got to cruise this feminist march we're going to get some boys oh yeah wash them yeah you what, I'll tell you what, James. We got a new segment on the show. And normally it's like, there's a new segment. We never, we do it once and it always fails. But this time, this is the one. I finally have hope. Yeah. This is called fan mail. Fan mail. Yeah. The mail bag. The mail bag. Yeah. Okay. So I asked the, I asked the listener to send us in some questions, all right? Right. Okay. Then we have to answer the questions. So this is like something to have in our back pockets whenever we can't think of anything, all right?

Right. We're talking about, you know, women getting murdered and raped and stuff. And it's like, let's, let's, you know, let's move away from that. Okay. Or now you're like, okay, enough of the silly stuff. Now we get serious. Enough of the silly banter. Okay, so let's start with the first one.

Ask play. Yes or no. Yes. Next question? it's like Frost Nixon I don't get that reference you buffdy you know what happened to me once

go on I was with a girl this is in college no German guy was involved in this all right okay I'll believe you I was with a girl I got with her once

a night out and then we remained civil and then she got with a friend of mine okay perfectly allowed yeah perfectly yeah what's your problem Motel? I recorded everything

in case, you know, they try and use it against me. I was talking to the friend of mine afterwards and he wasn't happy because she had tried to put a finger in his ass. Oh my God. But she hadn't done that with me. She didn't try that with you? No. You know what it was? Because she knew

you'd like it. It's like, it's only fun for her if they don't like it. The first time that happened to me now. I mean, I was about 16, 17, and she didn't tell me she was going to do it. And she didn't like ask my permission. She just did it, which was, I'm sorry, but that was just so much better because I was like, whoa, stop that. Okay, keep going. This is good.

Yeah. You have to like at least pull up D&D, like, oh, I don't like that. Yeah, you, I have to be like, oh, no, don't do that. And she's like, can you feel that? Because this is just going and so, yeah, you're going to have to use your whole fist, I think. uh yeah yeah yeah actually i think you might be right because my friend was a much more manlier man exactly yeah yeah you were just a little prison bitch

she knew you'd take it she would you know she was like it would be boring with him yeah it's more fun for them if you don't want her to do it that's the game brian that's the game you should have put a little do not disturb sign on your asshole and then she would have been all good you know. I remember trying to do a bit about that on stage, right? You know, like, it just did not work at all about the finger in the ass. It's like, how insecure about your sexuality do you have to be that during the act of having sex with a woman, you'll be like, oh, I don't want you to do that because it's gay.

Yeah. But it didn't work. That's because the audience, they weren't ready for it. It's like when Dylan. And then, like, it was a good wee tag. The tag I really liked because the tag was because you're literally, you know, you're having sex with a woman, which is the least gay thing you could do apart from fly fishing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. I bet those fans are just a bunch of fly fishing cunts.

Yeah. A bunch of J.R. wasn't ready. You know, that was like when Chris, Chris Rock did the, there's two kinds of black people. Yeah. There's two. There's a war with assholes right now. And there's two sides. Black people and fly fishers. anytime I want to have a good time ignorant ass fly fish is fucking up when I go to the ATM machine I'm looking for fly fishes do you remember the do you remember the ad with J.R. Hartley

no he's J.R. Hartley it's a really old reference I shouldn't even know it it was like the 80s basically it was an ad for the yellow pages this might get a little tear of your eye James okay okay picture this it's an old man and he's going to book shops and he's like do you have fly fishing by jr hartley they're like no why we have that book that book sounds dumb he's like okay he goes another shop and they're like no we don't have that book what are you talking about old man fly fishing by jr hartley i've never heard of that book ever get out yeah get out but then he goes back to his uh his house and he finds the yellow pages and he like he calls up a book shop he's like do you have

fly fishing by J.R. Hartley. You do? Oh, yes. My name, J.R. Hartley. Oh, wow. Yeah. So he's an old man. Why the fuck does he not have a fucking book that he wrote? He got scammed out of his own copy of the book. Fucking senile old gimp.

That's what he is. Yeah, I hope somebody comes around and beats him to death with a copy of his own book. Yeah, yeah. Man, that ad was so popular, okay? It came out in the 80s. They released a book. They released that book for Christmas. It was a bestseller.

Because everyone was touched by that old man. Quite literally. Yeah. Yeah. And then they did an ad, a sequel to the ad in like the, I think the naughty's, but the guy's like got like a flip phone. He's like, yeah, what up? You got the book.

Yeah, that's my granddad's book, bro. If allow it from, you got their flag. efficient thing from J.R. Hartley, because do you get me? I'm afraid I don't, young man. But yeah, no, it's the 2000s. So, like, it was all multicultural. I was like, we don't have book. You get out.

Get out my stuff. It's like, which is racist, Brian. Yeah. It's not okay. So there you go. Very good. Yeah. Good. Thank you. This is a two-part question, okay? Yeah.

You would be in your dream dinner party. Okay. And who would be in your worst dinner party? Okay. So your best dinner party, five people you can pick. Five people. That you'd actually want to spend time with. And then five people you'd hate to spend time with.

Okay. Five people I want to spend time with. Yeah. That would actually be a good crack. So don't be like, oh, Nelson Mandela. No, I won't. Hold on. Well, you know, giving everything that's been happening lately, Brian.

My first pick is Ruth Bader Ginsburg. At what age? Oh, just before she popped her clogs, you know? I thought you want her now. That's what she was at her best. And who else? Harriet Tubman. There you go.

You know, I know very little about Harriet Tubman. Well, the Underground Railroad. I know the very base, like the Wikipedia version of her. Julia Roberts is going to play her in a movie. Oh, yeah. And then they cancel it because, you know, Hollywood sexist. See, I'd like to, what I'd like to do is get Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Harriet Tubman and then pitch them my spec script for the all-female reboot of lethal weapon.

Yeah, yeah. So that'd be good, you know. So, yeah, it wouldn't just be a social event. It'd be like a work dinner, you know, like a lunch meeting in Hollywood. Yeah. So that's my first two guests. They wouldn't like that, I don't think. They just want to relax.

The last thing they want is some like sniveling little worm. Trying to talk business the whole time. Okay. Yeah. And, uh, all right. So that's a little bit too female centric. So I need a couple of bros in there, a couple of dudes. Yeah.

You brought a shit up. Eric Harris and Dylan Kleboldt, the Columbine School Shooters. Uh, because they like Marilyn school shooters. Marilyn Manson, which, you know, good tunes, regardless of his bad behavior. But then they could be the bad guys in my lethal weapon female reboot. And like Harriet Tobman and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, have to defeat the Columbine shooters. So there you go. Do you think those Columbine kids, if they were alive today, would they be like, oh, we can't be fans of Marilyn now? Yeah, that's too problematic. Let's listen to Taylor Swift while we're shooting up the high school. Yes,

Queen. Have you heard about Taylor there recently? Oh, no. Taylor tried to do a bit of a boycott because there's a show on Netflix called Ginny and Gina. I think it's called Ginny and Gina or Ginny in Georgia. It's like, you know, it's like a black girl and a white girl and their teenagers and, you know, boys and shit like that. Sure, yeah. You can, you can, you can write it yourself in in your head you know they gotta go to the prom and it's like a sitcom on netflix all right right and then in the show uh one the girl says you go through men quicker than taylor swift what she's annoyed over that yeah she's really it's really annoyed she was like what the fuck man she was like those yeah outdated sexist i think she said something

like oh the 90s called they want their sexist joke back shut the fuck up you dumb con't how about that. Yeah. Okay, well, here's the thing, right? First of all, you're one of the biggest fucking recording artists in the world. Why the fuck you're paying attention to some dumb joke and some stupid shitty sitcom? Are you dumb? You dumb, dummy, dumb? But then also like... Also, you're dumb. Your whole career has been, you know, I date this guy, we break up, I write an album about it. That's your whole thing, which is fine or whatever. Plus your music shite plus you're a dose of shit so fuck you

yeah is my response I was very much on the side of Ginny in Georgia who gives a fuck like it's a fucking dumb joke in a shitty sitcom why would you care you're literally like one of the biggest recording artists of all time why would you care well you know who did think it was sexist the people on RT2 FM

what Owen McDermott I guys I think this is very problematic shut up shut off back there anyway yeah so don't worry guys she'll be 18 by the time I let her out of the cage

yeah okay so is that everyone your good dinner party we do bad after I got four then number five Johnny Briggs he played Mike Baldwin on Cornation Street

he'll be the sexy eye candy for Harriet Tubman and RBG to fight over, you know, because they're still red-blooded women who love a bit of cock, you know, and you can't get sexier than Mike Baldwin, you know. He had the underwear factory on Canadian Street. You'll be his wingman, you know, you'll be like, of course I'll have a cameo in it. Yeah, yeah, I'll be the goofball, you know, I'll be the, I'll be the, I'll be the, I'll be the Chris Farley type, but with more health problems. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so if I either pick my dream dinner party. I'd go Barclay first, Charles Barkley.

Of course. Because I've heard multiple people say he's incredibly sound. Okay, that's good. Like, a weird stage. Like, there's a story of this one guy. I think he was like a dentist or something. Or like, what do you call a child dentist? A prison inmate?

Like a pediatrician? Yeah, a pediatrist. A pediast. something like I'm a pedoist I'm a pedoist dentist but anyway apparently he saw like Barclay just drinking in the hotel once and he was like

oh shit it's Charles Barkley I don't want to annoy him but oh fuck it I'll just go over and get him to like sign something yeah and then Barclay was like oh hey man yeah I'll sign that yeah do you want to get a drink and he's like he's like so desperate for attention hey can I go back to your house

please he's like it's been three weeks and Charles Barkley won't get out of my living room. Hey, come on. We're going to watch Little Giants. It's one of Rick Moranis's lesser known vehicles, but it's great. Please get out of my house, Charles Barkley. Be gone, Charles Barkley.

Be gone. No, apparently. Charles Barkley, you just some wannabe who looks like him. Be gone, wannabe. No, apparently they drank for three hours. And then Barclay was like, hey, next time I'm back in wherever it was. Philly. We should meet up again. He was like, yeah, okay. And then he did. He actually called them up like, hey, I'm back in Philly. Do you want to drink again? And they became good

friends, the really good friends to the stage where when the guy's mother died, Barclay went to the funeral. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Yeah, Barclay gives the eulogy. I love it. That's great, though. That's a cool story. Yeah, he's well known for doing shit like that. The other guy, I think, I have to stress this now. I think it might be fun to have Russell Brand over, but only Russell Brand when he's on the gear. Oh, of course. Yeah, you get him all geared up and then like, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I want a bit of a wild card at my party. Sure. I think that would be very fun. He keeps, you know, like, um, you know, tying up and injecting. I'm like, oh, that's entertaining. Here, Russell, do you want to talk about, uh, um,

elevated consciousness. No, I just want some fucking heroin love. Yeah, perfect. That's what we like about you. Yeah, now, Russell Brand now would be a terrible guest because he'd make it all about him. And he'd be like, okay, everyone, let's do breeding exercises together.

Come on. I've whipped us up some kale smoothies. Ooh, delightful. Fuck off, pal. Yeah. I'm actually, I actually kind of like Russell Brand, though. Oh, I like him, yeah. Yeah.

I'm subscribed to his newsletter Oh, really? Yeah Okay, well I don't like it that much It's not much It's just him like talking about like Different meditation exercises And last time I went on it

He was talking about a tapping exercise Where you tap your head And that helps You know I don't know It's just as good as heroin Yeah It probably helps more

if you're like a multi-millionaire famous actor-comedian I think if you and I were to do it we wouldn't get much out of it but that's just my guess I've heard so many great stories of brand when he was off the rails of him like doing like crazy fun stuff

and like that sounds cool but I hear stories about him in like the last decade it's all stuff like oh he made everyone in the room do yoga together and he was on a table directing everything it's like that doesn't sound in any way one

sounds annoying as fuck and just talking about oh the consciousness oh we're all one consciousness like please shut up yeah yeah yeah once you go be the consciousness in the bathroom and stay there you prick

so who else would I want I don't want anyone like Obama or stuff like that unless I get him drunk you couldn't get him or two even in your fantasy you wouldn't get Obama yeah I don't know Nixon? Nixon might be fun

because he was a real alcoholic. Nixon, date stage Nixon, because he was all, apparently got real sloppy near the end. Yeah, yeah. Well, like, you know, you could ask him about Bohemian Grove and he could tell you, it was like, well, faddy shit,

like, Mr. Nixon, that is inappropriate, sir. Riley Reid, she might be fun. Oh, yeah. A bit of dessert. No, can't make those kinds of jokes anymore. Just make jokes about molesting children. That'll always be funny.

But women having sex, no. No, no humor there, my friend. Anyway. Yeah, I can't think of anyway. I don't know, maybe Scorsese, but I think he'd be talking about film. He'd be talking about films from like the 40s to all the time. You know, he's like pretty much blind now. He's got such bad glaucoma.

Well, that might be fun to have at the dinner party. Like we all go quiet. You got like a Mr. McGoo running around. Like, yeah, yeah. Just down the stairs, Marty. Oh, fuck. Badoo do, badoom, bittum, and you're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, classic. Yeah.

I feel like there's definitely someone else we get to his party. He just turns around the Riley Reed. It's like, have you ever seen? What a 45 Magnum could do to a pussy. Now that you should see. What a 45 magnum could do to a pussy you should see. Don't, don't touch your cattle. Just turn it off.

Just fill the drink. you know who lives up there a boo! Louis might be fun to have. Louis C.K. Yeah. He was just so weird. He was on Joe List's podcast there.

Was he? Yeah, like a couple of days ago, apparently. What was he talking about? Stanley Kubrick movies. Cool. Just going by the description. I didn't actually click on the thing. But yeah, it would be fun to like pick his brain

about so what was all that about then I just wouldn't mention it if you don't mind my asking it's a shame though it's a shame I wouldn't mention it

because you don't want to ruin the vibe at dinner party you know yeah it's like you know look look over there Louis CK Russell Brands on heroin

hey it's pretty funny I know right you want to poke him I kind of do yeah who would you not want then who would you hate at your dinner party yeah we'll do that next okay so the five worst people who would be like an awful group of people to have your party

Russell Brand not on heroin yeah that's that would be one yeah any kind of person who's like real spiritual or into like astrology or rocks or stuff like that yeah yeah anyone who needs to be yapping about that shit yeah yeah who else else would be awful.

Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. I kind of went off on Taylor Swift there. I don't really have any opinion of her. Like, I don't know. Even though it seemed like that was coming from a real place of hatred, I'm ambivalent towards her. I think it's dumb that like somebody of her stature would care about a stupid sitcom joke.

The girls in that show are like, if it's an old woman. It's created by a woman, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So like, what are you on about? let women be sexist haven't they earned the right I'll tell you who would hate at a party

any kind of musician who brings a guitar like let's say John Mayer because John Mayer be like okay everyone I'm gonna play one song for you and then he'd play like 19 songs

yeah yeah I'm really not prepared honestly I just know myself everyone be like oh he's so dreaming I'd just like be so pissed off. I'd probably burn food

on purpose, just, I'd make a theme. How's your Crenbleau, John Mayer? A little bit overdone. I used to hate parties. Whenever I went to like a party and it was like a guy with a guitar. It was always like this ticking time bomb. We're like, oh, he's going to, he's going to pull it out.

Oh, that's like his fucking it's weird because if it was a guy doing magic tricks, everyone would be like, oh, this is like cringy. Because of the guitar, he can play with their minds and trick them and thinking that it's not incredibly rude to play guitar while I'm talking

while I'm talking I was trying to explain deep space nine to some hole and now you're playing Wonderwall out of key fuck you man the amount of times I've like just sat there with a big

frown in my face watching someone play guitar and just fantasized by just smashing up the place just to teach a lesson. Like belushi and animal house. Yes. Yeah. I just smash up his girlfriend.

Just teach him a lesson. Just slash her what is Stanley now. Yeah, yeah. That'll learn them. Anyone else? Eh, I don't know. Like any of those intellectual dark web guys, you know, like Sam Harris or Jordan Peterson, I just wouldn't be arced to listen to him.

They wouldn't be fun at a party. you know. Yeah, they'd be yapping. Yeah, yeah. And you know, it'd be them yapping about how, like, persecuted they are the whole time. They'd be, they'd be no fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on a clonopin and, uh, my wife's dead. Shut up, Jordan.

Is his wife dead? Yeah, I think she, or, no, did she get cancer, but she's not dead yet or some, some shit. Do you ever read, do you know his 12 rules for life? No. I know of it, but I know. I never read it. Do you want to go through them and see if you agree?

I guess. Now, if you agree with them, you're a Nazi, okay? Okay. You're a big anti-trans Nazi, so be careful. I'll keep that in mind. Rule number one, stand up straight with your shoulders back. Nah, I like to slouch, pal. Yeah, I like to slouch.

So fuck you. You don't even stand up ever. He just slouch. Look, my dad's dead. so I don't have to stand up straight anymore. I can slouch all I want. Yeah, awesome. You like, if you want to go to the fridge,

you just slouch, you don't even stand up. You just like a slug. You just kind of like... I am, literally, I'm just a slug. Unappealing, gluttonous little blob of flesh who just slimes his way through life. So, no, I ain't standing up straight for nobody. Okay, rule number two,

treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping that is actually pretty good advice I mean I don't do it I have never lived that way and probably never will

but it is I mean you can't really argue with that as like treat yourself like somebody you were responsible for helping so pretend you're your own care well pretend I'm a special needs child really is what he's saying

I just like go on the bus and just start, like, licking people. Hello. Is that what he's saying? Then I can be a Mongo baby. Definitely, yeah. Mongo baby, yeah, it's my new band. Mongo baby, you stole a cramism from my heart.

Mongo baby. I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Okay, next one. So that was rule number two, be a Mongo Baby. In fairness, I have to admit, that's a pretty good rule, you know. But this one, rule number three, make friends with people who want the best for you. Well, that's impossible because nobody wants the best for you.

Everybody in your life wants to see you fail miserably. How do I know that? Because everyone I know in my life, I want them to fail miserably. That's just a fact. That's what I want to succeed. And I want everyone else to fail. And guess what? It's not working out like that.

That's not how the tables have turned That's not how it's panning out For old cat So that's a dumb, stupid fairy tale This isn't a fucking Disney movie Nobody wants the best for you Everybody wants you to die face down On the street like a dog

Even your own mother wants that He knows You know how much mileage your aisle one Would get out of you dying young Oh Brian's dead Oh no yeah every time she goes into the local shop they'd let her just skip to the front of the queue

you know she'd milk it they give her free fish fingers exactly yeah yeah yeah there you go they were Brian's favourite he used to eat them frozen out of the box that's why he died that's what killed him I'd say actually it's probably

the opposite's better make friends of people who want the worse for you because that'll keep you like you're that'll keep you strong, you know. Exactly, yeah. You'll be weak if everyone was like, oh, we love you, Brian. Oh, we want the best for you. That'll make you weak.

You want people like fucking, you know, that's why people in prison are so hard. Exactly, yeah. They're the toughest, happiest, most well-adjusted people in the world. Number four, compare yourself with who you wore yesterday, not with who someone else is today. Okay. Whatever. That's just like, that's some dumb, stupid thing. see like middle-aged women

sharing on Facebook, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like a dumb meme. Compare myself with who I was yesterday. Okay, James, you're fatter. I have less hair. No friends. You're no money. Your life's in the toilet. Yeah. You're the

all the antidepressants you are on. The dosage has been increased. Yeah, thanks a lot, Jordan Peterson. I really perked me up. I feel somewhat better now. fucking cunt. This next one is really childish, okay? It's like fantasy world stuff.

Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them. Well, look, that's just unrealistic because everything you do, everything your child does, you resent because here's the thing. They either do stuff that, like, you know, makes you like, oh, why the fuck you're doing that, you're fucking idiot? You're embarrassing me. But then if it's the opposite and they do something that, you know, is actually really good and beneficial.

It's like they've elevated themselves above you and don't need you and you resent them for that. So then it's, oh, you know what, fuck you. So it's, you know, it's a double-edged sword. You're going to hate your children regardless of what they do. But don't feel bad because they hate you too. So it's fine. It all works out.

Yeah, it's a weird thing. Because like, let's say like your kids gets an earring, all right? And you're like, oh, that makes me dislike them. Oh, no, Jordan's going to be angry. Yeah, yeah. Look, you know how much I love this book. So I'm sorry, but you're going to have to move out. I'm six.

I don't care. This is, look, this is my gospel now. Jordan Peterson would not allow it. Okay, I'm going to skip through some of these because a lot of these are very boring. Like, oh, set your house in order before you criticize the world. Okay. In fairness, now, that's not a bad one. A lot of people, like, you know, could learn to, myself included.

Like, I'm just sitting here ranting about Taylor Swift and, you know, while I'm just surrounded, sitting in my bedroom surrounded by filth and shit. I haven't showered in fucking weeks. Everything's gone wrong, but I'm like, oh, Taylor Swift's a prick because of whatever. Because of what I told you about her. Yeah, yeah. It's not even true. I just get you all roiled up. Yeah.

You just said her name. him and I was like, oh, fucking God. So, yeah, I didn't mean it was like a dumb rule. It's meant like, it's kind of like, oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, it's kind of true. Oh, yeah, so it's not much. You can't really do much with it. Be precise in your speech. Yeah, I mean, kind of vague, kind of whatever.

Yeah, be precise in your speech. What do I mean? Don't be dancing around the issue. Don't be dilly-dallying. Yeah, get to it. I feel like, uh, in a way, way you kind of, um, um, I just feel like when you speak, you're not speaking to me so much as you are speaking through me. Do you know what I mean? Uh, no. Look, I admit it. I touch the kid. Am I going to jail or what? Um, I just feel like, uh, I don't, I don't even know what I'm saying here. I'm very, very tired. I'm like underslept and, uh, it's all gone wrong. Uh, help me, help me. Do you ever wake up in the

just dark clouds and you're just surrounding you, you know, it's like, God, I don't know if it's ever going to get any better. Anyway, sorry, what's the next rule? The next one, okay, is when you see a cat, petty. Okay, I like that. I have a cat and I do pet it.

You feel much better, don't you? I do, it is. It's nice. Yeah, yeah. And my cat, she's very, like, even if I'm busy and I, like, walk right past her, she'll do this thing where she, like, curls up and she knows that sounds. she makes herself all adorable

and then I have to choke her. You know? Just like, because I'm not falling for her tricks. Little I don't know. Yeah, I like my cat. I pet my cat.

I don't hurt my cat. Yeah, I'm glad you have a cat. I'm less worried about you now. Yeah. Yeah. And the final one here, do not bother children when they're skateboarding.

What does that even mean? Is that meant to be queen? Is that literally? Or what's the like figurative? What's that like, you know, a metaphor for? Because don't bother children while they're skateboarding. Here's one for you. Don't bother kids at all.

Don't go near them. Even if they're yours. Just avoid them at all costs. Because, you know, yeah, they can't catch what they can't see. So just don't go. Anywhere near them. Yeah, I think that was meant to be a funny one. Okay.

Yeah, that would seem like something he would find funny. Yeah, do you know what? Because skateboarding to him is probably like a new thing. Yeah. It's like that's what black kids do. Don't bother kids if you see them on a penny farthing. I can't really do a Jordan Peterson impression. Okay.

Anyone else? Let's get back to his dinner party. Let's wrap this up. anyone else that you would hate to have around? No, sorry, actually, Patrice would be great to have at the party. You're right, actually.

It'd be loud but entertaining. Like I kind of, for my, you know, people I would like, I kind of went for a silly joke answer. I didn't give the real one because, you know, who cares about that, really? Yeah. Well, I went from real,

because the listeners asked, and I like to give them the truth. Yeah, that's true, yeah. I can't even admit the truth. truth to myself. That's the problem. Anyone else? I live in a fantasy land. Oh, Jared Leto be awful. He would be. He would be awful, yeah.

Look, there are so many people that, like, who do I properly hate? I mean, lots of people. Who do I? You know, it's like when you're put on the spot, you can't really think of anyone. Anyone in your personal life? Yeah, lots of people, but I'm not going to say. that like you know for fear that they would listen to this you know some of them do some of them don't yeah and i never know which is which so yeah lots of people pretty much everyone actually no fuck it yeah if i've ever met you ever in my life i don't want to talk to you leave me alone

just leave me be yeah that's that's my ideal dinner party just me sitting alone eating a mcdonalds and guess what? I have that dinner party every day. So Caton wins. It's, yeah. Just eating cold McDonald's chips out of the bag. Oh, yeah. Rock and roll.

Yeah. Yeah, so let's move on from this. We've been going well now. I think we're getting close to the hour. Okay. Yeah, this one has been more. I tell you, it's more fun. I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would because, you know, before we hit record,

it's like, oh, for fuck's sake, I have to do this shit again. You're proper self-harming. I was, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wasn't even doing a good job of it. It was like those plastic scissors that they give special needs kids, you know. I was saying, but it wasn't working. But no, I'm doing good. It's been fun.

I think the fact that I'm at a desk and I've got some monster in me, I think that's really helped. Yeah, yeah. Because I felt like in other episodes, you were on. You're always on, of course. And I was just like, oh, I'm not feeling this. So I was just giving you nothing. Like, you'd be all, like, you'd be doing one of your bits or one of your characters, you know? One of your little skits.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'd be like, yeah, yeah. Anyway, back, back to notes. Yeah. The rock, yeah. You know, it's, yeah. I'm not always on.

You know, there are some. times when the dark thoughts take hope. I've been really tired today. Like tired all day and I slept a lot like so just like coming off night shifts I'd be all fucked up on it, you know? But that's all right.

A few more head meds will sort that out. Get the kills. Things will get back to normal. I'll leave Carlo. Carlo's actually, I didn't realize this. I was reading the Carlo Nationalist. That's like like the Guardian and Carlo. Because the Carlo Nationalist sounds like a white supremacist

newsletter you subscribe to I thought it's only one race I don't know what Carlo people sound like well actually I got here okay okay and look this is literally front page of the Carlo Nationalist high number of Carlo males researching

far right topics wow that's front page yeah the rise the rise of the far right has not escaped Carlo with the with the county with the county reporting

one of the highest rates of online searches for searches for far right and white supremacist material it'd be so funny if that was just all you like the pinpointed to your IP address like no I've got a podcast

it's research she'd give it the old Pete Townsend defense and I'm like no no it's not just me and they're like, you're the only person in Carlo with Wi-Fi. You're the only person who knows how to use a computer, Mr. O'Toole. But I'm not, it's literally, it's

apparently it's Dublin, Carlo and Longford are the three the three big ones. Wow. Longford. Is Carlo a big carlo a big county? No. But we fucking, we try where it matters. Fair play. Fair play. Well, Dawn, I'm proud of you.

This is great. Look, we need to set up a studio and Carlo, that's we're missing a trick. Yeah. Oh, listen, apparently there's a group who track far right extremism and they've been doing a lot of studies

about Carlo and they said the high search rates may be due to a small but dedicated far right scene. Well, like, what exactly constitutes far right searches? Because I mean, you and I would both like,

we kind of go on maybe like gab or 4chan or bitch shoot for a laugh you know because we know it's silly I mean do they count that or is this like the real hardcore you know whatever like you know I don't I don't really know any I mean I'm sure there are other like real dedicated the only we both listen to Alex Jones on the Andrew Schultz show yeah that we're so we're we're white nationalist now okay right well I don't think they really, I don't think they really like distinct between like Alex Jones on a funny show

and then like a real white supremacist website where it's like this is how you, this is how you build a wooden cross. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting now. I didn't realize like they were kind of even conducting these kind of searches in Ireland you know, to like catalog the alt-right

activity. Yeah, it's a company called Moonshot. I like, so what happens, you end up on a, on a, like a list or something? I think so, yeah. Oh. Also, the, uh, the mayor of Carlo has formally invited President Biden to, to come to our little town. Uh, hold everything. There's an invite here from, there's Carlo, Carlo mayor said to come, his house.

Uh, he's going to have dinner. He's making me, uh, bird's eye potato waffles and, uh, make beans so uh we're gonna go there that's a good that's a good Biden thank you that's a really have you been practicing that no that's a really good Biden I'm happy with that unfairness now I listen to Comtown and Nick Mullen does a very good Biden that's I'm not even Joe I'm not trying to big you up here because I'd never do that but uh make a point to never honestly that's better than Mullins isn't that great oh wow thanks man Mullen's it feels like he's trying too hard

Mullen's a real try hard Yeah, yeah He's not a natural talent Like, padding here Yeah, yeah He's not mentally ill enough To be this good Yeah

But yeah We'll wrap this up in a minute I would recommend Carlo Nationalist Everyone should get it It's a great Everyone should get it Yeah, yeah

There's some great crime stories in it Yeah Yeah, like But it's funny That's so many crime stories and distance all just like man with 10 euros worth of weed arrested it's like that stuff does not that much exciting shit like carl putting the stockades in the town square the the the weekly throwing of cabbage and fish will take place at noon tomorrow like the big story was like

in the crime section was like a woman stole dog food what was the what was that what was the headline pedigree scum pedigree chum people pedigree chum are you keeping up are you keep it folks you get you get it come on have you seen this if you heard about this apparently the uh did we get this woman in there Carlo Carlo she uh steal a dog food

what a con yeah um what else oh it was actually this is kind of fucked up I was looking up um other true crime in Carlo all right yeah apparently there was like a psychiatrist in Carlo who murdered her own daughter.

Right. Yeah, apparently her daughter was anorex. That's a strange diagnosis now in fairness, isn't it? Yes, you wouldn't see that on Frazier. Wait, why did why did she murder her? Apparently her daughter was anorexic and then like

the mothers went a bit spazzy and like drowned her in the bat. Wow. What age was the daughter. Like 16. Oh, the sexiest age as well. That really is a crime, isn't it? This is why men you pull up.

A skinny, sexy, skinny 16 year old, you evil bitch robbing the world of the great beauty. Yeah, so she killed her daughter and then she stole some dog food. As a reward for herself. Earned this. Earned this. Jesus. You always have to kind of be wary of therapists, though, don't you?

I mean, what kind of person? What kind of God complex is like, oh, you know what? Oh, I'm so good up here. My brain works so well that I'm going to help fix all the Mongols with the depressions and the boo-hooos. I will decide who I'll fix and who I won't because I have that power. I'm basically Jesus. I'm Jesus, but with pills. so yeah

perfect yeah imagine like dating a psychiatrist it's probably awful from what I've seen in Fraser it seems terrible yeah like every time

like every time you have to have a talk you like she makes you light on on the sofa and she just keeps prescribing giving you pills yeah she keeps like prescribing you Viagra it's like what are you trying to tell me here doc she knows how to gas light you

like a professional Olympic level gaslighting. Yeah. You know a friend of mine told me like I gaslight like but this is like a male friend of mine and he was like oh that's that thing that you do.

I was like wait, what do you mean? And then it was your man Sean. Remember when he lent me that 20 quid? Oh yeah. And when he asked for it back, I basically said no. And apparently that's gaslighting.

That's pretty mild gaslight. Good thing you're not dating him. Yeah, it's pretty mild, yeah. Good thing you're not dating him because otherwise he could, you know, ruin your podcasting career. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd get kicked off Try Channel. You're promising you, uh,

you like ends up like get me too and you have to do your Biden impression just to get away with it. See, Biden's dogs to pack someone. Gaslight, you let the light. And on the street, the gaslight. You see, Biden's dogs attack someone. He had to send them home.

That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. I wonder if they'll get putt down. No, probably not. I think it was a guy, so it's okay. Oh, okay, cool. If it was Kamala, then you had to be shot.

She would have shot them. Anything else you want to say? I think we're going to wrap this up now. I think we've gone. No, yeah, I think we can wrap it up. That was a fun one now. we got some stuff out of that. Yeah, it's not one that I'm ashamed of.

Yeah. And you know, it's free as well, so fuck them. Yeah. What do you want? Yeah. What quality?