Episode 116 : The Shrink Next Door
00:00recording. We are going.Yep. This is great. I'm back in James'shouse. Yes. AndI'm feeling good. I tell you, I was feelingI was getting real spazzy over the week.Were you? Yeah, I was very emotional.Oh! Getting angry all the time.And it was all
00:16with someone else's fault. Of course. I wasnever overreacting. Never. No.But I tell you what, I come here and somethingabout this place, this is like my safe space.I come in and I just relax.Yeah, you just chill out. Yeah, I walkin the door and I just like unclench.Yes, yeah.
00:30I've been clenching the entire week.You know that in these four walls, you can say anything.And you do.Quite horrific stuff.Yes.Yeah, and I always love to hear it.And your neighbours don't like it.Well, how are you doing, James?
00:45Yeah, good, man, good, you know.It's, well, you know.You see, you're excited.Yep, it's another week.I made it another week.Oh, what's been going on?So what's been getting you angry?What's been getting you down?
01:00Real simple things.Kind things that I tell you,you'd be like,what are you talking about,Brian?Right, yeah.Like one thing,this guy owed me a little bit of money.
01:09I actually,I need to give you a tenor,but this guy owed me like...Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.This guy owed me like $7.20 or something like that.Right.And he was like,oh yeah,
01:18I'll just send it to you using money gram.Money gram.Yeah, it's some app, okay?I've never heard of it.Yeah, and I try to like figure it out when I couldn't.I went all...I started kicking things and stuff720 is an unusual amount
01:33What was that for?It was a thing for collegeYou had to split it four waysOh, okayYeah, but I was proper likeAnd it's always like somewhereIf I actually calmed downAnd explain to someone
01:42It's because I can't work an app properlyAnd they're likeDid you have to kick the fuckingBecause we have a little foos ball tableIn my houseRightAnd I was just kicking it there for a goodA good 40 minutes
01:55And your parents are likeHe's finally getting intosport. It's great to see.So todaywe are going to be talking aboutthe shrink next door.Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A reallyinteresting story about
02:10gaslighting and psychologicalabuse. Fantasy thenobviously, make-believe stuff.Yeah, yeah. Stuff that we... Dungeons and dragons.That we are really into.But before that, we talked about what's beengoing on in the week, sothe big thing for us was that we were downstairs
02:27watching a little bit of Elon Musk on S&L.On SNL, yeah.Why do you think about that, James?That was very, it was weird, you know what I mean?He just, he is a very odd guy, not even, well, he is, like he has Asperger's or whatever.He came out.Yeah, he came out and said that, but.Which is good deflecting from him, because before they're all like, Elon Musk, bad, bad.
02:48He was like, Asperger's, like, top trumps.Top trumps, yeah, he had them over a barrel then.Oh, apartheid doesn't matter if you have Asperger's.But yeah, so he did the monologue, and like, he's just a lot of moving, like, oh, so, you know, my name is Elon Musk, and, you know, people are like, what's wrong with you?It's like, I built rocket chips.Do you expect me to be a chill dude?And he's doing a lot of head movements, and he kind of was like Keanu Reeves and Bill and Ted, just like, whoa, dude.Yeah.
03:21It was weird.I think he was having fun.I seem like he was having fun.To you honest, I didn't give a shit.Like, when people was like, S&L.Elon Musk, oh no, like peoplewere proper angry about it. They were acting as iflike before this SNL had a
03:35perfect track record. Yeah, yeah.But what's funny isright, so Elon Musk, he'snot like, he wasn't funnyobviously and he wasn't a very good actorbut that didn't in any waydiminished the qualityof the sketches or the show
03:51itself, which is just testamentto what a piece of absolutedog shit SNL has become.Yeah, it's just horrendous.could get anyone to do S&L and thesketches would still be the same, like Gen ZHospital. That Gen Z Hospital.Oh, man.
04:07That could work with anyone. You could get my dadto do that sketch. It would still be the same level.You can't elevatethat kind of thing. It's, yeah, soI don't know. Obviously, S&L istrash. Him being on itdidn't improve it oryou know, reduce the qualities. So
04:23it's kind of a, it was a whatevermoment. Why do you think about seeing all the moms?Because it was Mother's Day in America.but not here.Why do we have childrenMother's Days?I don't know.I don't know why that is
04:32because they're allmade up bullshitholidays that don'treally exist.Yeah, they don't existman.Yeah.That's just a woman
04:39pretending to...That's womengaslighting society.Mother's Day.If you caught her head offit would just grow backlike a liquid Terminator.But what do you think
04:50about?I just got the video up hereand we got to seeall the cast membersmothers.Okay.Let's go throughand look at the mothers.
04:56Oh,you want us to actuallylook at the mothers.Let's rank the mothersand decide if they're good enoughfor my cockThis is reallyOkay
05:05So if you're listening to thisPull up the S&LMother's Day thingAnd go through itWell you don't need toWe'll describe it to youSo first of all we seeWho is that
05:15That's old Kate McKinnonYeah Kate McKinn's motherKind of looks like Kate McKinnonYeah a little bitLike an older Kate McKinnonYeah bring up the brightness hereYeah it gives a pauseAwful
05:27Kind of like Elizabeth WarrenYeahAnd then, whoaWho's thisThis's a B. Bryant's motherEddie BryantEidy, yeahEadzie Brian
05:35Kind of looks likeYeahWhat can you sayThey're allKyle Mooney's motherThey're all trollsLet's be honestMylie she's looking good
05:45Is there anyoneYou like to fuckLook at herPause on thatWho's is thatBack to thatI think that's Heidi GardnerHeidi Gardner
05:52Just pauseLook at that manHoly fuckYeah it looks likeThey fish out of the riverAnd they put a bit of lipstickYeah, look like, you know, just imaginelike Liza Minnelli
06:02if they fished her out of a canaltangled up in a shopping trolley.I want to see Beck's mother. I think Beck's motheris hot. She's the pick of the bunch.Yeah, Beck Bennett's mother had big arms.Oh, she could hold you.Show us.Look at her. Look at those veins and arms.
06:17She takes care of herself. She keeps it tight.It's funny, you really seehow important genes are.Some of them are like, she's looking goodand some of them it's like, oh God, when did she die?Is there anyone else?I want to see Pete Davidson's mother.I bet Pete Davidson's mother is very nasty, filthy girl.
06:35Yeah, she's just...Dirty girl.Fucking new...Was it Long Island they're from?She's just Long Island trash.She's banging firefighters.My fucking husband died in 9-11, so I know I need some fireman cock.Let me slide down your pole if you know what I mean.
06:54Mom, I have borderline bristolty disorder.Shut up, you little queen.That's why your old band diedI've heard thatIn the firefighting communityIt's pretty commonYou know likeAnd it's kind of accepted thing like hey
07:09If I dieI don't want some fucking stranger banging my wifeI want the guys looking afterYeah right okay yeahI don't want some fucking postmanYou knowSome mulein youngSome fucking moolly postman
07:26Coming over heresticking it to your motheryou're gonna take thathuh fuck that shitwe need a good Catholic cockright in the pussythat's what we needall right
07:36that's youryou're the man of the housenow Pedyyou're listening toput down that bongyour little twinkI'm trying to teach yousomething eh
07:45actually waitthat reminded me of the SopranosI was listening to a podcastcalled ShatteredShatteredYeah it's aboutthe New York KnicksRight in the 90s
07:55And they go intoRemember I was telling youThis is like a whileago was telling you thatwhen the Knickswere trying to getLeBron JamesOh they did
08:02A little Sopranos videoThat's right, yeahThis podcast is very goodI recommend itbecause they get E.D. Falco onto talk about thatOh wowApparently like
08:10Gandalfini was reallyexcited to do itReally?Yeah and she saidthat like they've been offeredlike way bigger moneyto be likeCan you do this for Coca Cola
08:18or Microsoft?Because he loves basketballYeah yeahHe said yeahBut the videosounds even worse than I talkbecause I thought the video was themit was Tony and
08:29Carmilla.Is it Carmela?Tony, I want you to meetMeadows, no boyfriend.This is LeBron.Oh, who the fuck is this?Chaco, prequered over here.You know what happened?
08:43We know my old man would doif I brought a fucking butterhead in there?Which I don't even know what that means.Butterhead.I assume it's a slur of some kind.Black people love butter.You never see a white man eating butter.They're respectable.
08:55No, but I thought it was just them to, you know, Tony, I just talking about, like, oh, LeBron James, should he come New York?Apparently in the video, they're friends of LeBron James.Oh, wow, yeah.Yeah, and this...Hey, Tony, I just came by to drop over your Black and Decker.Oh!Yeah, I got him check for AIDS.What do you think I am?
09:16Am I a fucking toxic person over here?Something, huh?No, apparently they're friends of LeBron.He's coming over and they're trying to find him a place to live.This is, it's like a reimagining of guess who's coming to dinner.LeBron James is Sydney pot-aill.Pauley comes over.Hey, don't, yeah.
09:38Yeah, it sounds really bad.And apparently the footage is gone now.Okay.You can't find it.Okay.So, it's probably good.I think it would be weird.Also in it because Gandalfi is a big beard at the time because he was filming something.
09:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.So it's meant to be they're under witness protection.Okay.But they're still going.going to hang out with LeBron.Right.But keep it on the,on the D.L.
09:58Sure, yeah.Just hang out in a diner in New York.With LeBron, James.David Bowieand Michael Jacksonin an urn.I'm living like an everyday schnuck.Yeah.
10:12It's a good podcast.I recommend it even...What's called Shattered?Shattered.Even for non-basketball fansbecause it's all about...It's hosted by Chuck D.Oh, from fucking public enemy.
10:21Yeah.Sweet.But a lot of times...I get some street.credit there forno onewho Chuck Dis?
10:27Yeah, Ididn't knowwho that was.Is hefrom Abba?Chuck D.Is he relatedto EZE?
10:33Because,you know.Yeah,no,but I will say,it's not likehe's actuallywriting the script
10:40or anything.Okay,yeah.Because a lot of thesepodcasts nowthey'll get acelebrity onto host it,
10:45quotation marks,but all he doesreally just says,like,hey,this is the podcastand then like,here's an interview
10:51with someone elseand they do theright,okay.They have a littlebunch of interviewsAnd at the very end, he's like, well, that's the podcast.Fight the Power.
10:59Yeah.If you want to fight the power, check out our merch online.There's a lot of ads for Viagra.Okay.Well, it's not Viagra.It's like, what would you expect from Chuck D?Uh, get it?It is funny.
11:12It is funny how so many podcasts, they're all sponsored by, like, dick hardening pills.Yeah.It's like, we should be the first one and it's like, dick softening pills.Hey, is your dick too hard?Are you just walking around poking?three-year-olds in the eye with her massive cockaccidentally wink winkbecause they're sure winking after you're done with them
11:31but listen take ourwhat is itwhat would we what would you call itfloppy pillstake our floppy pillsdefinitely this is a marketing meeting nowokay yeah yeah we come up with the name firstthen the product right okay so it would be
11:48a hard no hard no hard no hardno hard no hard no hardNo hard.Let's circle back to that.I'm going to circle back to that.I'm going to stay up all night if I have to.Hard.So, yeah, Chuck D's podcast, Dick Hardening Pills.
12:07I wish, why can't we get sponsorship with Dick Hardening Pills?I've tried.They're like, we don't want, we, customers don't like the idea of brino tool being hard.Two men with erections?Not in this lifetime, buddy.Take that sick shit, the Fantasy Island.It definitely is our name, the fact that we have fuck in the title.That should attract them.
12:30Well, you'd think so, but...They're pussies.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Well, I was talking to a blue-chew guy at one stage.I was telling you that, wasn't I?Mr. Blue-choo himself.Mr. Blue-Too.Of the Blue-chew.
12:41Please, my father was Mr. Blue-choo.My friends call me Chewy.That's not what they call you, and you know it.Shabbat, Shalom.Yeah, but I was talking to...representative from the companyand he was likewell we kind of only deal
12:57with the American marketso we have no interest in the Irishmarket at the momentokaythat's a real fuck youyeah isn't itfucking consthey would have respected me
13:09if I just sent him abuseBluetooth's for paedophilesthere I said ityeahnow it's trueyeah now we're just gonnasub man just want to watchthe world bird
13:21I said that nowthe entire empireof blue chew will crumbleovernight. Yeah, yeah. LikeRome falling.Yeah. Um, sothat was one podcast to listen to.Okay. And the other podcast been listened to
13:35is the shrink next door. Okay. Yeah,yeah, yeah. See, you were telling me about this. Sounds very interesting.Now, I didn't tell you too much because I wanted to get yourgenuine reaction.Oh, this is what he does.Yeah. He tries to,do, pull little tricks on me,you know? I like keeping you in the dark
13:49at all times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right?Because I want to get your genuine reaction. A lot of timesthis is scripted and then you're going like oh wow and i've been rehearsing for months in the mirroryeah in the mirror yeah that's why i've gained all this weight for the podcast i'm like christianbale yeah reverse christian but um they call me the machinist because i need a machine tobreathe properly so i've been listening to this uh the shrink next door it came out like lastyear okay i remember the time people like oh my god brang you have to listen to this podcast it's sogreat. Who are these people?
14:25People online. Ipretend like they're my friends. No.I meant the Huffington Post.That's those people. You go to a cafewith your laptop and youpretend it's like we're friends in CentralPerk. Just youin the corner. Sorry, I don't
14:41drink coffee. Yeah, I try to start a conversationjust walk past someone with Shrinkling's door.Shrinkin his door says what?Okay, so...So they all say it's great, butthe thing with the podcasting world is it feelslike every single weekthere's a new
14:54true crime thingIt isIt's a veryOver saturated marketIt isAnd also a lot of timesLike the crazy true crimeIt's just like
15:02It's a 10 episode seriesAnd at the end it's likeOh the other creepy husbandYeah he did itYeahIf you can believe such a thingBut this is differentThis is a
15:11This is less about murderAnd more aboutpsychological intrigueOkayOkaySoAnd the reason it came up nowIs
15:21that they're making a TVshow based on this.Okay.Starring Paul Rode and Will Farrell.Yes.And the doctor involved in thishas recently been back up in the news.Okay.
15:31Yeah, but we'll get to that at the end.Yeah, I get to that, yeah, yeah.So we'll just jump right in, shall we?Do it, do it, let's do it.I'll describe the main players.Oh, okay.Okay.I'll tell you who's playing who, just so you
15:41get an idea, a visual idea.I believe it's, uh, it's gonna,the show is by Michael Schollwater.Showwater, yeah.And he kind of did stuff with like, uh,David Wayne and that whole.group of people who like I liketheir stuff like they admit their stuff very silly
15:57I'm hoping they don't go silly with thisyeah okay it is dark in placesyeah all right okay so we'll jump into it okaya picture a mana Jewish manwhat stopMarty MarkowitzMarty Markowitz
16:14hello kids my name is MartyMarkowitz yeah he's nowhe's played by Will Farrell in the showokay so and it soundsI need more cowbell, okay.No, that's too much cowbell.I have a migraine.Now, he is, it sounds like he's very man-childish in this,
16:32so I think Will Farrell will do it.It's not really much of a push for Will Farrell.Sure, yeah.Okay, so he is a guy, he grew up in New York, all right?Right.And his father runs...It's you in New York.Yeah.
16:42Are you sure this is a true story?He, he, uh, his father ran a very, very successful fabrics company.Okay.Okay.Now, the father dies.Right.And now Marty is put in chargeHe's in his late 30s
16:55He's in chargeThis big multi-million dollar companyOkayA lot of stress there, rightSureNow make it worseIs he's likeOh am I good enough
17:03To fill my father's shoesOne of the uncles doesn't think soThe uncle's likeThat should be meRightSo there's a little bit of an argumentAmongst the familyOf Shakespearean
17:13Isn't itLike a Greek tragedyCome to lifeSpeaking of ShakespeareThere's an evil bitchIn this as wellOf courseI knew it
17:20And he's dating a girl as welland the girl's likewe need to get married right nowyou just got moneylet's get married right nowand he's kind of likemaybe we should get a pre-nupand she's like
17:30if you get a pre-nupthat means he doesn't love meyeah well thenthat's on yousign it or get outso there's a lot of stressokaymean uncle
17:40mean girlfriendright and this uncleis the dad's brotherI'm assuming yeahyeah yeah so and he's kind of likeohthe worthless sonshouldn't own the company
17:50interesting nowOkay.Now, Marty's under a lot of pressure,so he decides to go to a therapist.What?For what?Do you think that's a pussy move?Yeah, real pussy.
18:01You know what he needs to do?He needs to go out, pound a few beers,and then pound a few quays.You know what I'm talking about?That's how we deal with our problems.We have a couple of Jack Daniels,and I smash a glass in some Finook's fucking face.Yeah, it's literally better for you.
18:17It is, yeah.Like, it's a scam in a way.Better for every.Oh, it is.Total scam.I, for...Mental health, not...No, for a bit of a laugh recently,
18:25I was looking up online therapy, all right?Oh, what?Better been for a goof photo.Oh, it's for a podcast.Look, you getting humiliated by prostitutes is fine,but therapy, that's where I draw the line.If they found out about this, they'd be sickened.Yeah.
18:41If Mait Higgins found out about this, she'd vomit.All right.All over her seeing eye dog.Look into it.Yeah.Alex Jones is the whole thingabout itI can't like
18:53this goddamn comedianwhoresohe decided to goto a therapistOh noI was talking aboutI tried to go
19:01to a therapistrecentlyYeahI look atyou trying todeflectI was justlooking up
19:05for the crackokayfor a gigglealrightandI don't likethe onlinetherapy stuff
19:11because it's65 eurofor textingsessionYeahthat's fuckinglikewhat is that
19:16Not likeyou seetheir faceor anythingYeahFor texting for an hour, that's 65, for the initial hour.That's ridiculous.Isn't that a scam?
19:24That is a scam.That's a fucking scam.And also on the website, you can pick which therapist you want.None of them look like that was the picture.It looks like they got the worst picture than possible.Okay.Also, one of the therapist is a nose ring.What?
19:38Yeah.A nose ring?Yeah.I don't want my therapist to be in a fucking real big fish cover band on the weekends.Fucking less than Jake over here.telling me what I need to doto improve my fucking mental attitude.Yeah, fucking smash
19:55mouth, cunt. It's a scam.It's a scam. And Marty should have known this,but he didn't. So what he didis he looked up like, okay, I'm a rich guy.I'm kind of a public profile.People know me around the place. He goesto a lot of like functions and charitydinners, okay? Yeah. So he decides,
20:10okay, just a therapistwho specializes in the rich and famous.Right. Dr. Ike.Hertzcock.HertzcovI think it'sHertzcoveLet's go with
20:22HertzcovDr. IkeDr. IkeIkeCome on IkeEichHey OikeOike
20:29OikOikOikOikOkaySo Dr.IkeOkay
20:33He's got a lotof famousclientsAlrightWe'll findFind out about a fewAs the showgoes on
20:39AlrightButSo MartyGoes Dr.IkeAnd he's likeOh my GodI've got
20:43So manyProblemsCan you help meDr.Ike saysHe doesn't sayLikeOh I will
20:48give you tools in order to helpyourself deal with these things. Dr. Rike saysdon't worry, I'll fixall your problems. Wow. Yeah.I like the confidence. I likethe confidence. Immediately.Yeah. There's another thing in this showin this podcast and we'll get to it, but like
21:04where do you draw the line between being likean individual who wasgaslit and you knowsomeone like psychologically controlledyou? Where's the line between thatand just a chump? Sure.You know what I mean? I get you. Yeah.I know. Well, yeah. Okay.
21:21There's some people in this, I think you could classify as chump.Chump.But in the podcast, every single person is like they play a sad music and like, oh my God, I can't believe Dr. Ike would do this.Yeah, I was manipulated.But anyway, so Dr. Ike immediately is like helping Marty.Right, okay.So first thing he does is that, you know that girlfriend?Yeah.
21:41Dump her?Dump her, yeah.Sweet.Well, I think she left.But I took credit for it anyway.Oh, no, I tell you, I forgot.What happened isthey broke up
21:50because of the pre-nup scandalOkayYeah, yeahYeahShe came backLike two months laterAnd was likeHey,
21:55by the wayWhen we were togetherYou said you'd payFor my vacationI still want you to payFor my vacationYou're not allowed to comeOkay
22:04And Dr. Ike was likeMaybe don't payFor a vacationMartin MartinHe was likeOh my GodYou're a geniusYou can
22:11You can say no to a womanMy God, DocI'm curedOh it's just fantasticSo Ike immediatelyhe's like he's um he's helping marty but he's really going like we need three sessions a weekyou know right yeah and he's he's really like we you need a lot of me marries how much is he chargein an hour big this is big bucks yeah and also this is actual mental health ice not what we
22:34give the plebs on the in the public sector this is the classified this is the real shit alsodr ike will sometimes be playing around he's his big thing is like i'm not just a therapisti'm your buddy okay and an early sign of like things being a bit strange was dr ikewas like, hey, you know what?I'm your buddy.I'm your buddy and my birthday's coming up.I want you to buy me a pair of sneakers.Yeah, okay.
22:54And this is going to be a bonding exercise, okay?Right.So they walked from his office down to the street to the sneaker store.Yeah.Dr. Ike says, I want those and he made Marty pay for him.And he was like, now we're friends.Here endeth a lesson.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:10And you couldn't get this mother therapist.This is great.So he's helping him and he's helping him.And then Dr. Ike's like, you know what?You're running this business.I think the best way I can help you,so I go down there and check out the business.Right, yeah.
23:26You know, just have a little look to see what's going on, okay?Sure, yeah.So Dr. Ike comes down,and he's making lots of suggestions.Okay.They're meant to be helpful, but they're all very like,uh, move that table over there.Yeah.
23:38Or, oh, that door opens inwards,make it open outwards.Yeah.But, and like, Marty is, like, proper, like,oh, wow, I didn't think it.That's really helpful.Yeah, that can really help the whole moodof the office. Yeah, Marty does sound like a
23:51real chump now to be honest. And eventhe other guys who work, they interview some of the guyswho work in the company, a lot of them were like,what the fuck was going on here?The door opens one way, opens one, who do youthe fuck? Oh,my, oh, fucking Stephen boy justlost his arm in the fabric machine
24:07last week. This motherfucker's opening a door.What's going on here?So even at the start of workers, like, is itkind of weird how Marty is justlike, almost like a puppy,following Ike around.Yeah, okay.But Ike sees a problem.
24:23Marty's sister works in the company.Okay.And she is very close to Marty.Right.And Dr. Ike doesn't like that.Dane's in the office.It'll never work.Dr. Ike is like,
24:35hey, I tell you what,how about I become your sister's therapist as well?That would be fun.So he tries to get her involved.And she's like, that's bit weird.You know, you're my brother's therapist.You want to be my therapistHe's probably like
24:49Hey your brother's a real wackoHas he told you about his foot fetishLook at these sneakersFrom himHe's a fucking chumpCome on babyWe could be living the high lifeYeah so he's like
25:03I should be your doctorAnd she's like noShe immediately becomes the enemyOf IkeYeah yeahSo Ike starts filling Marty's headWith all these things likeOh your sister's taking advantage of you
25:15oh she's working she's expecting the salary for working with youbad okay and they interviewed a sister and she saysthe attitude completely changedbetween her and her brotherwhere they were really friendly beforeand they'd even like take taxi into work together and talk aboutyou know like uh businesstalk about business just family and like marty
25:38was really good friends with like her children rightlike she was he was the cool uncleand then after dr right got involvedMarty suddenly became likedon't talk about anything other than businessRightAnd if I catch you talking about anythingOther than business in work
25:52You're getting deductedWowOkay and I'm not talking to you outside of workJesus ChristYeahSo he really had hisDr. Reich really had his claws in MartyYeah yeah
26:03A lot of people say the personalityI mean let's be honestMarty sounds like a full blown retardWho's that easily influencedAnother thing they always said isAlthough I haven't said thatIt would be kind of greatIf I got manipulated by a doctor
26:13And they were likeYou can't seeyour family and more.Yeah, cool.Good.Let's just do it.It would be funjust kind of turn off your brain
26:19and be like,oh, I'm just doing what Dr.I tells me.Almost like season twoof succession, no spoilers,but you know,in season two of succession.Yeah, sure.
26:26It's almost like I'm just doing,I'm not,I have no free will anymore.I'm like a puppet.Yeah, I can just do bad shit now.I don't really care.I've turned off my motions.Right.
26:34But like workers would saythat they'd hear Marty on the phonesometimes and he'd be talking like a client,let's say,right?And he'd be like, let's say,I don't think we can do that priceYeah can we can we
26:44Can we lower thatOkayGive me a minuteAnd then he'd call upI can be likeWhat am I supposed to do hereOkay I'll say thatAnd he'd call up company like
26:54Yeah I'm not taking thatYeah I'm not to waitHey it's my way or the highway buddyI know where your kids are right nowThey're in the playgroundI've got a guyI got a sniper in the bushesYou want to play hardball
27:06Your kids are going to buy me sneakersThis is the fabric softener businessor whatever the fuck it isI don't even knowthe fabricbut close enoughtextilesyeah yeah yeah
27:15yeah so thiscarpet worldmotherfucker the glovesare offit is like the sopranoslike we're killing peopleover therelike some black guys
27:24trying to style carpeton the streetthey're on my territoryyeahyeahso umDr. Ike's influencebecomes
27:31weirder and weirderokaywhere he's likeyou know whatthe company seemsbecause he's a lot of stresshow aboutI just take that over for you
27:40Oh my godAnd you knowMarty's likeThat's really helpfulThank youSo much senseSo they register the company underDr. Ike's name
27:49Under a fake nameI should sayHoly shitSo he becomes likeYou know he's likeHey MartyJust simpler for the tax guysAnd everything
27:56All on all the paperworkI'll be likeDr. Stephen Jacksonor something like thatAnd Marty again is likeYeah greatThis all makes senseDoc
28:06YeahBecause that way likeYou knowWe're both winning somehowAnd then, all right, Dr. Reich is like, you know what, you have an apartment in New York,you got this big, big house out in the Hamptons.It's a lot of stress.Yeah, okay.
28:23I'll tell you what, I'll move in with you.Yes.I'll move in and I'll take the master bedroom.And you can have the dog kennel outside.Oh, brilliant, doc.Yes, this helps us both.I don't even have a dog.This is great.
28:38So they've so much room.in here he puts marty in the spare room okay and marty's not allowed keep his food in the in the kitchen areawhat the absolute fuck he has to keep his food in the bedroom with him yeah so he's just like living like aprisoner yeah it's like okay marty you know what i just realized if you suck my dick three times a daythat will relieve the stress in your tempo mandibular jaw and uh oh yeah he's he's a doctorOkay, and then, this is some great stuff in this.Then Ike is like, you know what would really help you?What if you built a miniature golf course out the back of your house?
29:19Who called it Aikland?So he got Marty to build him a miniature golf course,a full-scale basketball course,and got him lots of life-sized statues of cows.Okay, weird.Yeah, lots of, like, life-sized statues.There's lots, lots of stuff that, like, Marty was not interested in.Right.
29:43Marty did not, like, golf or basketball.Obviously, and so Marty obviously had a lot of money then to be able to finance this.Yeah, yeah, well, he's run the big company, okay?Right, okay.Now, um, the sister, she's still in the picture, right?Here we go.Fucking buzzkill.She's like, uh, this is a little strange.
30:01Shut up!My mental health.Yeah, so Marty fires her.Good.Finally.Okay, now here's the thing.Uh, there's a joint account.count on the bank
30:10with likesome diamondsand some necklacedlike some very expensivejewelry and stuffokaythat only the sisterand Marty can access
30:19kind of likesafety deposit boxyeah yeahyeah the sister is pissedso she's likeyou know whatfuck my brotherI'm taking that stuff
30:26sure yeahyou know I don't deservethis and he's fuckingI'm taking italmost for like his protectionyeah exactlybecause eventuallyfucking Dr. Ike
30:34will get hisgrubby littlepaws on itso she takes itall rightwhat does marty dohe sends a letternot to his sister
30:44but to his sister's daughterokayhe sends ahe drafts a letterand sends itto the daughter's schoolso the principalhas to call the daughter
30:55and be likeyeah we got a letterfrom your uncle herewhat age is the daughteris she's in the high schoolokayso the principal's likethere's a letter from your uncle
31:04you should read itand the letter was literally likeI'm sorry to inform youbut your mother is aduplicitous bitchWhat's duplicitous mean?Don't worry about that, sweetie. Just keep reading.No, something like your mother is a bad woman.
31:19She's a teeth. She's a criminal.I can't trust her and I can no longerbe around you or your mother.This is your mother's fault.I love being your uncle, but your motherhas driven me away from you.P.S. I'm pretty sure she bangs Puerto Ricansfor sick pleasure.
31:36kindest regardsUncle MartyYeahYeahSo that kind ofCaused a bit of a wedgeIn the familyDr. Reich
31:48You know he's coming inPlaying all these mind gamesAnd like a weirdTricky magicianYeahMujahadineYou can call himJudini
31:58HuhYeahYeahGet it rightKidsHuhUhAntisemitic
32:02Let's kickGoYeahJudiniAre you with me herebecause he's a JewishI love when people say likeoh you just do like
32:10kind of like lazyoffensive comedyoh please come on Judeinithat's beautifulno one could think of thatis that is whatis Gen Z Hospital betteranyway
32:22so it's getting worse and worsethis situationDr. Ike is likeoh I shouldDr. Ike had like kidsby the wayhe had a familyhe moved the whole family
32:33into Marty's houseand he's likeoh you know whatMarty, you've got no family leftanymore because I've driven them all away from you.You know what? You should dobecause, you know, if you die, your money's not going to goanywhere. Put my kids in your will.
32:46What the fuck, man?Martin, did I have a wife?Yep. So she,is she complicit? She knows what's going on?She knows all about this. Yeah, she's like, my husband'svery smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.She loves it, like. There's nothingsexier than your husband's scamming
33:02a basicallymentally disabled man. Yeah, it seemslike he's a fucking idiot.Yeah, yeah.Anyway.So, what happens next?Let me get my notes up.Let's see.
33:11Oh, here's a very juicy thing, all right.So, Dr.Ike fancies himselfa writer.Oh, I see.He wrote multiple novelsfeaturing apsychiatrist.
33:26Dr. Sexy andthe wealthy retardby Dr. Ifeaturing a psychiatrist who solvescrimes.Okay.with a sidekickcalled Marty
33:38who's a MexicanHey Mr. IkeI think we find outwho did this homesPlease go back to the gardenMarty I'll call you and I need youSo Dr. Ike would write all thisIn legal pads
33:54With pencil rightAnd then he'd get Marty to type it upYesThis is part of your therapyNo, no, that would count as his session.That's fucking insane.So, you have to remember this whole time,Marty is still paying for sessions.
34:11Oh, wow.So he typed up seven full mystery novels.Does it get published?No.Oh.Which is a shame.They actually read out a bit of it on the podcast.It seemed very generic.
34:22Yeah.Very law and order.Sure.There's a bit in it where, like, the cop,the criminal's got the gun on Dr. Ike.He's like, how do you find me?And he's like, well, I knew the body.was in such a place where it's almost like someone
34:34wanted to find it and he's likehey good workprofessor but it looks like your timeis over and it looks like disappointmentis over right but thenMarty comes in and saves the daynice yeah yeah he just hits himwith a burrito
34:49hey Dr. Reich what's going onman and then Dr. Wright putshim back in the cageDr. Ike calls icegets rid of Marty that's how every bookends Marty gets deportedAnother very weird thing is that with multiple patients, Dr. Ike made them get second bar mitzvahs.So chop off more of their foreskin?
35:13I think it's, I honestly think it's more he just liked the party.Right.Okay, yeah, so I actually was going to ask there, how many patients does he have?Because it really seems like...Lots.And is he doing this to all of them?It seems like a lot of them, yeah.Wow.
35:27Another thing...What a busy bee.Another thing Dr. Ike would do is he would write letter.about his patientsand send them to his friendsOh my GodSo like he literallyHe wrote out a letter
35:41And gave it to Marty type upAnd it was all about Courtney LoveReally?Because he was Courtney Love psychiatristJesusAnd Marty was likeThere's a lot of very personal stuffIn these letters
35:51Where you're basicallyYeah yeahAnd he's likeI could sell this to likeThe New YorkLike yeahWhat's the real trashy one?Oh the National Enquirer
36:00The National EnquirerI could sell this for millionsLike this is all aboutCourtney loves, like, you know,who she's banging and who her friends are banging.Yeah, yeah.This is very juicy.And you're just handing it to me.
36:09What are you writing about him?Me, yeah.It's like nothing, Marty,because you're a boring fuck.Thank God.Yeah, yeah.So, like, yeah, what other patients did he have?He had Courtney love, any other big names?
36:21I think he was looking after Kurt for a while.Oh, that went well.Well, yeah, well, he used to have big parties in the Hamptons.And he'd invite loads of people.over. He was very good friends at Richard Kind.Oh, okay. Apparently, Richard Kind was always hanging out in the pool.Which is funny you think about this, you know, like this kind of psychological thing and RichardKind just hanging out. Yeah, yeah. But, um...
36:46Wait, so he was a doctor to Kurt and Courtney? Do they, in the podcast ever allude to the...No, I don't think he actually pulled the trigger.Murder suicide theory? No. But he was friends with everyone. Apparently, he put up loads ofpictures of himself in Marry's house. And it was pictures of him with like, you know,OJ andall the big namesOJ, Richard Kindall the big names
37:08and a lot of peoplewho went to the housetaught fucking Martywas like the Gardner or somethingor like the butlerbecause he would never talkyeahhe'd keep his head down
37:20look at his feetand you'll hand outlike truffles whateverso Ike really had this guylike manipulated to an extreme degreearound his little fingerand there's loads of footageof Dr.
37:33I hanging outwith other patientsyou knowyeahfemale patientsand he's likeoh I can seeyou're exercising
37:39oohthat exercisereally paid offand you knowand Marty was holdingthe camerawowhe's getting Marty
37:48to hold the camerawhilehe's actual likefootage of this stuffyeah yeahwhile he's likeflirting with theseuh
37:52while he's own patientsyeah yeahand likein the podcastI was likeher handwas very closeto his shorts
37:59oh or you knowthe handwas moving ever closer to the groin.A bit of physical therapy,if you know what I mean.Oik, oik, oik, oik, oik, oik, oik.So what else is going on in this?What else happened?
38:17So, like, it just seemed,oh, by the way, this lasted for almost 30 years.Wow.Holy shit.30 years.30 years of this.Respect.It is like, you got to give it to them.
38:28I mean, it's horrific, but fucking.You got to love to hustle.Look, don't hate the player.the game you know what's like it's like you know the guys who have like the three cups andyou have to guess which uh what's under the cup if you if you do that and you lose yeahwhose fault is it kind of on you yeah yeah and like marty's like the worst case there's otherpeople that weren't affected that much i feel like they're like there's one girl's interviewfor the podcast and she's like i i was sad and i went to marty because me and my mother had a bad
38:55relationship oh no sorry ike i went to ike and i was like me and my mother of a badrelationship but she died should i go to the funeral and i was like no no and she's like and ididn't go to the funeral and now i regret it well again that's on you yeah that's the thingwith all these stories of like oh i was you know manipulated it's like okay so what personalresponsibility accountability take an agency for your own life doesn't come into play hereyou were just completely manipulated and you're not at fault at all well i feel like well that's thenarrative they're trying to push but iain't buying it, bitch. I ain't drinking
39:32the Kool-Aid. Ike for presidentCaddog out.Yes. I feel like a lot of these caseswhere someone's been abused. There's always likea very legitimate case of abuseand then people hear about and they try andlatch on to it like little leeches.I also was affected by
39:48this. Somehow, let methink. But likeit's a tale as old as time, you know, the chumpgetting taken for a ride. I meanthat's the world we live in.Everything is the entire world, the entire global economy and foreign policy.It's all manipulation, baby.Cinema, television, advertising.
40:10We're all being manipulated.And it's great.I love it.Manipulate me more.That's what I want.No one cares enough to manipulate us.Exactly, yeah.I wish some fucking crazy son of a bitch would come in and like try to take us over and pit us against each other.
40:26That'd be great, you know?No one cares.Nobody cares.Well, no one cared of a moment.Marty near the end because what happenedis the company was going to shitokay because it's being run by apsychiatrist that is too busy thinking about
40:38mystery novels all rightCourtney loves pussy yeah so the guys whoworked there were like Martywe gotta move the rents are in so we're in New Yorkthe rents let's move over to Jerseyright we go over Jersey we can actuallybuy a place full out you don't pay rentanymore yeah yeah and Marty's like
40:54I guess that's a good ideais that a good idea and Ike's like nono I am never going to Jerseythat rich famous people are not in Jerseyyeah what Kevin Smith's thereI don't want to fucking listen toSmodcast I need fuckingGabagoo all right
41:12I'm a New Yorker fuck Jerseyyeah so he was like I'd rather the companygo bankrupt than we go to JerseyI would rather another three 9-11sright after each other than go to fucking New Jerseybut here's the thing this is when Marty startslike kind of wake up from the spell a little bitbecause the company's about to go on
41:30me up.Wake me up inside.I can't wake up.Wake me up.Yeah.The company's about to go under and Marty's like, no, I have to do this.All my staff, people's lives are in risk here.So when are we talking like when he starts, this is, this has got to be like post recession, right?
41:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.Okay, so we're talking like, what, 20?I assume around 2008, 2009.All right, okay.Right, right.So Marty is like, we're going to have to move.So they move against Dr. Ike's wishes.Ooh.
41:58And Dr. Ike is pissed.like he is so pissedhe will visit the New Jersey officebut he just finds things wrongright okayhis things wrong are likethat TV's therethat's stupid
42:12you put a TV on the wallwhat's wrong with youhe literally saidmy kids heard about the TV on the wallthey all think you're an idiotnice oneDr. Ike's getting a bit sloppywith his gaslight
42:26and to be honestI think he's been restingon his laurels for too longyou've lost your edge doc you don't got what it takes no more it's like it's like when a comediangets successful yeah they don't work on the material that's right abusers are funnier whenthey're riding the bus that's what sinbad used to say yeah you got to keep working every dayyou got to keep it sharp keep it sharp even you know what it's like for abusers you got to likework the small clubs you got to work they like yeah just like the dead beats the junkies the pimps the
43:00buggers, the hoars. You know,you've got to get the bottom feedersin the trash. If you spend all your timeabusing the very rich, you'll lose your edge. You have to go findsome fucking like garbage manor a podcasterand start abusing them. Just to work outa few little, like, I'm trying this new thing
43:18tonight where I call ita girl's fat. I'm going to see if it works.See if it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going tosee if I can get them to start takingblue chew 24 hours a day.Let's see if it works.So, and then, Marty starts to get sick.Oh?
43:33He's having heart problems.Oh.Marty has to go in for an operation.Right.And he's like, oh, oh no, no one's visiting me because I've alienated all my friends and family.Yes.But Dr. Ike will visit, won't he?No, Dr. Ike don't visit.
43:49Dr. Ike, don't visit, don't text, don't call.Like a true G.That's what I like.He's like, you're no good to me now.Yeah.Come to me when you want to start.cleaning the house again.This place is a fucking pig stime, Marty.
44:04So because of this incident,Marty's like,I don't think Dr. Ike has my best interestto heart.So he decides to go to his sisterand try and make amends,okay?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
44:17And the sister then fillshis head full of nonsense.Oh, God.You should be an independent man.You shouldn't keep your foodin the bedroom, you know?You should put your food in the press.Nonsense.
44:28You should be allowed to.to go to the toilet whenever you wantnot just once a daywhat are you Gandhishut upstop to fill my head full nonsenseso he starts to wake up a little bityeah okay yeah yeah and
44:41during this timeI should have mentioned that there's aguy who works from New York Timeslives right beside Martyand he notices this and he thinksthis is a bit weird so he startsdoing a podcast about thisand that's where the podcast came from
44:59Oh, wait, so you listen to his podcast?Yeah, this is a podcast by a guy who writes for the New York Times.Yeah, yeah.Okay.So he was looking for a story.He found it right next door.That's where the name shrink next door comes from.Can't believe it then.
45:11It's obviously lies.It's all lies.The New York Times, wake up, right?Fabric's not a thing.Okay, so the podcast game.And now, so had there been any repercussions?Yes, yes.So there was like a two-year ordeal where they were trying to get his
45:29license taking away, get Dr. Ike's licensetaken away and Dr. Ike's like, I've done nothing wrong.Yeah. How does I do anything wrong?Yeah, yeah. He was askingfor it, basically, yeah. He didn'tneed all that bone marrow. Come on.And it's funny how he's like,Dr. Ike is like, hey, look at
45:45all these documents that got him to signsaying that he was of sound mind and definitely notbeing controlled. Yes. But it's like, if youget a guy to sign like 12 documentssaying I'm not being controlled. Yeah.That looks a bit weird, isn't it? It does. It's a littlestrange, yeah.so did he go to jail or anything marty or dr ike in the last few months he's lost his license
46:04okay but oh there's a weird thing actually when they first confronted dr ike about thisor like the new york times guy yeah yeah dr ike's uh defense was that he had to do thisbecause marty was unstable and he liked to drown animalsmarty like to drown animals yeah okay weirdly dr ike says this is his defense like the firsttime these questions on this, it nevergets brought on up again. Oh, okay.So I feel like this is him getting real sloppy now.Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just throwing shit at the wall,
46:35you know? Seeing what states? This is, again, thecomedy equivalent of reading off the notes.I'm just being like,uh, that didn't work. That didn'twork. They're not all going to be winners, folks.We're trying something here.Yeah. Yeah. So that'sbasically it. So at the moment
46:51he's lost his license.And but not really legallyhas happened yet. Yeah.What about his wife?Is she going to get, like...Dr. Ike's wife?Yeah, yeah.She's grand.
47:03She's complicit.Is she not?No, actually, she called up and was like, can we get the novels back?Oh, okay.Because a lot of Ike's shit is still in Marty's house.Right, okay.So she was like, yeah, I know the way we controlled you for 30 years, but can, like, stop being a dick, all right?Come on, Marty.
47:19Don't be a douche.Yeah.So I think that that's basically everything I have about the shrink next door.I look forward to the show.I really hope the show.isn't too sillyI don't knowlike
47:31because there's aI got sensethere's a muchdarker side to thisthat even thepodcast didn't coverokaylike there's a lot of like
47:37some of thesome of the sexual stuffand likethere's probably moregoing on therebut they can't say itbecause it's a New YorkTimes thing
47:44what kind of sexual stuffthere's a lotthey mentioned a lotlike he was hanging outwith a lot of his female patientsand they kept touchinghis tieright
47:52a lot of Noel Clarkismoh fuck yeahkid old hoodwell go on and tingI be ripping da bitchies fametcThat was crazyThat happened
48:03We just recorded the last episodeOf the podcastAnd we found out about thatThe story brokeAnd Brian was likeOh we need to record another oneAnd I was likeGet out of my house
48:13It's 11pmI want you goneBut Kidult hoodI actually rewatch Kidold hood thereDoes it hold upFucking trashIt's awfulIt's really bad
48:24And I'm not saying thatI mean you know me BrianAnd I like to support the work of abusers.Yeah, that's you're known for it.That's my whole thing.No, I remember watching kid adulthood when I was younger and really loving it.It's fucking shite.Like, the whole thing, it's kind of like, it plays a trick on you, right?
48:43Because it's, the majority of the film is like colloquialisms and slang.It's like, you're going to step to me, fam, going to mark me blood, blah, blah, blah, all that type of stuff.Yeah.So you kind of like, oh, I guess this, you know, there's a gritty authenticity.to it, right?But then when you kind of look past that, it's like,oh, actually the decisions being madeby the characters and the way they go on.
49:05It's actually really dumb andunderwritten, underdeveloped.It's just not very good.It's bad writing, bad directing, bad acting.And you kind of got fooledthe first time because it's like,you know, it's all sex, drugs and violenceand like British street slang.
49:21Yeah. So you kind of...So when you're watching, you're like, I'm kind of basicallyin a gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Look, I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I'm pretty,much plan B over here.Now you can walk around Monaghan and be like, yeah.Well, go on, fam.Allow it, fam, fam, allow it.
49:34Man's going to get murk and ting.On the glissie, fam, man, Lincoln and Jesse, you get me.I'm afraid I don't.I kind of more liked it because I was a big Noel Clark fan from Doctor Who.You're just right, he was in Doctor Who.See, I never watched Doctor Who.See, I was a big fan Noel Clark.I still am.
49:50And the whole two words, two roads diverge at a water.I'm all like, yeah, British gangster street crimes.Well, I really love this work in Doctor Who.Yeah, I watched Kiddell Holds like,Where's the Cybermen?This is strange.I see black men, no Cybermen.But like...
50:08They're in disguise.The Cybermen are wearing Fubu tracksuits.But I liked them, all right?And I kind of, looking back,I kind of surprised, he was really,he was always putting out stuff.Oh, man, he's very prolific.Yeah, he always putting out films.
50:23I didn't realize how powerful he was.Is he that powerful?No, that's the thing.I didn't think.so initially, right? Because literallyhis entire filmographyis fucking garbage.Like, Kidulthood is the best film
50:35he's ever made, and even it is shite.And that was the lowest budget of all them, but like...Yeah, but it's all fucking garbage. It's all very kind ofcheap, low-budget. Yeah, yeah, yeah.But see, he won the BAFTA, right? But then he was onlike whatever, like the boardof trustees or something, likethe actual BAFTA committee.
50:51I guess, you know,whatever, for whatever reason, they decided toput him on. So because of that,he had clout in the industryeven though he didn't deserve itbecause his work was all terriblebut Doctor Who? Yeah well obviouslyDoctor Who yeah like that
51:07endears him to fucking littlewhite nerds like you butyeah the top dogs the hard ladslike Cadden here I was likeOh yeah see if a woman came to meand she's like oh Noel made me feel uncomfortablelike but Doctor Whohe played Mickey
51:22But fucking like what is it like20 womenI think it's like almostclose to 30 now. It's like 27.It's insane. I'll tell you what doesn't sound good now.I've been thinking about this a lot. If you hearthe Guardian have your dick pics,that does not sound good,
51:37does it? What's fucking insane, though, is likehe won, he got the BAFTA, it's likeLifetime Achievement BAFTA or some shit.He's given the speechabout it, buthe knows that the Guardian articleis about to come out. Yes. TheBAFTAs know about the
51:53allegations, but decided to stillgive him the award. It's fuckinginsane. He's just standing there. He's like, yeah,when I won this 12 years ago, peopleare like, oh, you're cocky, brough. SoI was like, maybe I'll apologise, but you know what?I'm not going to apologize.For nothing. For nothing, I didn't do nothing.
52:09And it's like, mate, you've got 20women coming forward at rape allegationsand you're standing there as like,inclusivity in it, fam.Do you know? Yeah.It's insane.Oh, I think now, what wouldyou've done now? You're in that same position.
52:23Yeah. See, would you have gonelike... Okay, here's what I want to do.got in front of the story, would you?No, this is what I would have done is, like,there's going to be a lot of like crazy things being said about me, yeah?But I'm going to even the playing field for you now.This is my apology to all them bitches.And I just pulled on my trousers and shoved the entire bath to statue up my ass.
52:44Like, oh, fucking out.Like, it hurts and ting.But maybe now you see that, like, we is level.That is all good.So, let's sleep in dogs lie, yeah?And it'll be like, the first black man to put a bag.up his assthat's progress
52:58but not the lastnot if KennethBrana gets his waydo you rememberwell actuallyI alwaysI didn't think he'd be likeyou know
53:07as bad as he wasbut there alwaysthere was a rumorabout him being a bitof a cuntbecause you knowAdam Deaconyes
53:13yeah they had a big feudyeah because they likehe was inAdam Deacon was inkid oldhoodthey had a realworking relationshipthat did movies
53:20together blah blahbut then there wasa big falling outand thenapparently Adam Deaconlikegot sectionedbecause he like kind of
53:29he sent death threats tohe sent death threatsto Noel Clarkvia textand Noah Clarktook him to courtand he got sectionedand all this stuff
53:37but then later onhe was also running aroundwith macheteI thinkyeah I think he hasgot some mental issuesand probably Noel Clarkdidn't help it
53:44help ityeah yeahbut so there was a rumorlike he's a bit likeyou knowbit harshyeahbit mean
53:51but it sounds likeyou know what'sso likewhat are the allegationshe was likefilming womenwithout their consentand showing it
53:57making themdo naked auditionswhen they didn't wantto filming itshowing it aroundand then sendingcockpicksand dick pics
54:05like grabbing on womentrying to kiss themtouching themcaressing themjust likejust creepy purvy shitI don't knowif there's any
54:13hard hour allegationsnois there notno nobut still there's enoughyou knowbad stuff thereand like here's a thing
54:22like not to saythat if your work's goodyou can get away with itbut hishis work is terrible.He is not good.What about bulletproof?What was that with Ashley Waters?
54:33That's the TV show he's in.On Sky One.Yeah, yeah.Yeah.I think you've answered your own question there, pal.There's a great scene in that, all right?It's a great show on Sky One.There's a great scene in that where, like, I think there's a terrorist trying to put, give him, throws him handcuffs.
54:47He's holding a guns.Like, put those on.And no clerks, like, when are you people going to learn, we don't wear chains?Ah.It's her slavery.Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Unless she was a fan-ass, bitch, get me.Yeah, so.
55:02But yeah, so it's wild.All these allegations coming out now.And then he's throwing Barrowman on her bus as well.Poor old John Barrowman.He's right.Oh, we should talk about that video as well.Yeah, that was hilarious.He should have done that, and accepting the awards.
55:14Barrowman took his dick out and he did it like this.And he used the mic as a proff.He used the microphone as his dick to show that John Barrowman,who was his co-star and Doctor Who used to, like, whip out his dickand like rested on people's shoulders.So there's Noel Clark thereand then two middle-aged middle-class white women.Yeah.
55:30And he's just going around pretendingthe microphone is his dickand slapping them like in the facewith a microphone and it goes onfor about three minutes.Yeah.And everyone is very uncomfortable.It is good mind games though
55:44because it's like there's layers to itbecause it's like this is what a gay guywould do if he was rubbing his cockin your face right now.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So the white woman can't get offended.Yeah, yeah.this is like what gay bloods do
55:56with their dick and thingthey slap it on the face and the shoulderbecause they don't want to get near the punaniin it like if you had a bum holethey'd be like give me the bummo fambut no they can't even fathom thatbecause the bumo too close to the punaniand that's too much for a minute yeah
56:11I don't know if that really switched thereyeah yeah yeah I'm letting you rolllike you've got energy nowwhat's this we're going after a black manlet's go after a white guynow. John Barrowman.Innocent.Wait, no, gay.
56:27Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!And Welsh.Welsh tend to be American.Yeah, but what's that about it? He has like the American accent,but he's Welsh. I think he was Welsh, and hecame over to America and he was like 10.Right, okay. And that's where he caught the gay.Caught the gay, yeah. I got the bug,
56:44the acting bug.Also called AIDS.But like, yeah, they're tryingto get him as well, but no one's made a complaint aboutBarrowman. It sounds like it was allfun. Everyone involved, it's funnylike everyone involves like, yeah, he rubbed hiscock on my chuggler and I liked it and people on
56:59Twitter like, it's still wrong.Yeah, well again, likenow, I'll just preface by saying I havenever done this, but like, you know,growing up with lads, you know,that was always the big goof, somebody hadwhipped their dick out. Would that happen a lot with you?A mutual friend of ours
57:15used to do it quite a bit. I do rememberthat. Yeah, yeah, quite a bit heused to do it. But was that anyone else would do that, though?no it wasn't like a regular thing but like i remember likeanother another fan of this podcasti got a festival he liked to go streakinghe'd like he'd whip take off all his clothes and he'd have a guitarlike and he'd just have the guitar covering his genitals and he'd start running
57:40around the you know campsite it was a better time wasn't it you know what i mean it was justit was silly fun in games now in retrospect yeah probably you know problematic or whatever butlike when you're a teenager you don't even think about it in that respect what age was heuh he would have been maybe around 19 when he did that okay so of age as well yeah of age yeahbut like he never like went grabbing on anyone or anything like that you know wasn't hardyeah that's what he can't tell with the guitar yeah exactly yeah yeah that's what it's so goodabout it anyway but look i'm just saying like i never did i never the confidence to yeah me neitherit's meant to be funny taking your cock out imagine if you bomb yeah exactly
58:17imagine bobbing with your cock out your cock and you have to like just put a backin.Like your flaccid, shriveled cock.Yeah, got to hold it back in with silence.There's like someone coughing.Yeah, yeah.Just a tumbleweed going past your dick.Yeah, it wouldn't be a good feeling.
58:31But that mutual friend of ours used to do it a lot.Like, I don't think he does it anymore.Well, like, yeah, it's not like he was doing it in front of, you know, while givingspeech to the BAFTAs or he wouldn't do it at women.It was just like to the lads.Just when you're tied up.Huh?We're just with us when we're tied up.
58:48And that's grands.With a ball gag.But anyway.Look, I'm just sayingAnd that's sort of likeAnd that's what seems like with John BarrowmanIt seems like thatThey're all buddies
58:55Like a silly, funnyYou know, oh, jackass dirtySanchez kind of wayBut that's the thingMen, we just didn't evencontemplate howThat would make a womanuncomfortable,
59:07you know what I mean?Why should I care?Well, I don't knowBecause they feelLike I'm just sayingIf you're filming Doctor WhoYou're doing God's work hereYeah
59:18And if someone wantsTake their cock outYeah, just grin and bear it, take one for the teamI'm just saying like he's a gay guyHe's not going to do anything to youHopefullyHe might like run up on the ladsAnd you know, try to do stuff to the end
59:30Yeah, maybeShould support thatYeah, yeahAre you a Doctor Who fan or notBut yeah, lookI'm just sayingHe actuallyHe talked about that in Doctor Who magazine actually
59:39Whipping his dick outYeah, I remember he taughtAnd they got complaints in the magazineReally?Yeah, because people are likeMy gay son reads thisAnd he doesn't need to hear any more about thisHe gets too excited
59:48Yeah, yeahwell look againI think it is just a product of itstime lads didn't realize how badit was to whip your dick out as a funnyprank but now we knowit's bad so so whatI don't know if am I supposed to change my way of life
01:00:04well we've never done it so likebut again that's a confidence thing as opposed tolike a morality thing I'd love to do itI wish I could I need Dr. Ike to help meyeah yeah wish I had the ballssay,we'reso it's
01:00:22interesting whathappens withNoel Clarkand he's stilldoing cameoyeahoh noI'm wrong
01:00:26he got kickedoff cameooh andMcDormit's oncameoyeahno it's no connectionno connection
01:00:31therethe whiteNoel Clarkthe whiteposhNoel Clarkthe mostevil thing
01:00:38I can thinkof the whiteNoelClarkone famallow itmy slimeyeah
01:00:45what are weon timewhat are we atyou check thereYeah, we're just at an hour thereOkayI think we'll wrapI like
01:00:50Because the last few timesWe've been recordingThey've been going like way overYeahI think that's not way overThey don't deserve more of usYeah yeahI think
01:00:58Let's keep them hungryHungryHung for moreSo let'sLet's wrap open one little thingDoOne little thingWhat else you got
01:01:05Oh tell you whatYou got very excitedWe watchWe've separatelyWe both watchBad GrandpaOh dirty grandpaOh yeah dirty grandpa
01:01:13I get those two mixed up all the timeBut Robert De NiroYeahThat's our recommendation of the week.Don't listen to some fucking stupid podcast with people with issues.Yeah, or fucking, yeah, Mark Kromo's like,it was an absolutely vile piece of cinema,a complete attack on the senses, grotesque.
01:01:33Like, no, if you want to see De Niro jerking off the porn,wanting to bang 12, no, what is it?Aubrey Plaza, who is so hot in that film, holy shit.Yeah, she's great.I'll tell you what, something about her banging nose, man.Man, it's so good.So hot.Yeah.
01:01:49Because it gives you that hopes, like, maybe when I'm 80, a sexy 22-year-old will bang me.You know, the way they have blacked raw.They should have elderly raw.What is the thing?Old guy, young girl?Yeah.I've heard.It's so great.
01:02:04But yeah, and then, like, fucking De Niro's just like saying racist, homophobic shit all the way through.It's great.Yeah.Well, it's not a good film, but it's a lot of fun.Oh, it's definitely not a good film.You know what?There's actually kind of hints of a good filmYou're like, I wish Lord and Miller
01:02:20or someone goodcould have made this into somethingbecause, you know.Yeah, Zach Efron is kind of like,it's not even not bad enoughto be good.Yeah, do you know what it is?And the whole thing is like
01:02:31Zach Ephron is like the weird,like nerdy guy is like,but he's fucking like a shredded beefcake.I mean, he's the most beautiful manI've ever seen.Yeah, he's so human life.Yeah, yeah.No, he's extra human.
01:02:45Makes me sick.But did he, he,he just got surgery, did he?I said he got his jaw.The rumor is he got his jaw.He was like, I'm not good enough.Yeah, my jaw extended.You gotta love Hollywood that someone as fucking beautiful
01:02:56Zach Ephron looks at himself in the mirror and thinks,I'm a worthless pig.I need to go under the knife.There's some world-class nagging going on in Hollywood.I mean, Dr. Reich.That's who's Dr. Reich's working for Zach Ephron saying,you're proud of yourself, you ugly fat pig.Where you can be like, hey, Zach Ephron,
01:03:15put down the forkHey buddyI got a movie for youA fridge too farHeyYeahAnd then likeYou know Zach runs into the bathroom
01:03:27Starts cryingYou're likeSee I'm helping his careerMaking himself sickThis is how you help the young peopleYeah yeahHe just hooks a car battery up to his absTake it you whore
01:03:38Get betterShred itYeahBut no dirty grab buzzIt's fun if you're stonedAnd not being attentionyeah exactlybut don't expect citizen
01:03:47kingit's nobut Kermode was likeit's worsethan entouragethan the entouragemoviehe said it's also
01:03:54worse thanmovie 43yeahwhich I really don'tthink anythingcould be worsethan movie 43Kmoe's got bad taste
01:04:01I thinkyeahis movie 43yes theanthology movieyesit's it's unwatchableat least
01:04:0730 grandpathere's likea semblance of afilm thereyou knowbut likemovie 43is just like
01:04:13just take a bunchof dumb, underwritten, underdeveloped sketchesthat are just really likescatological or like, you know,crude humor.And it's just, the whole thing is so, I don'tunderstand how they got all thoseA-listers to do. I think it's some kind of
01:04:29tax thing. Tax thing.Like, some money laundering thing. Look, you can eitherdo more movie 43or do swimming with spasticswith dolphins. It's a new charityof set up. And they're like, which onemakes me more sick?Now, can I put my finger
01:04:45and the spastics blowhole,yeah, of course you can't.They're not coming back.Most of them can't swim.We're just going to sayit was a bad accident, you know.But yeah, that's my new charity.Swimming with spastics with dolphins.
01:04:56It's going to be huge.People are going to love it.Yeah, fuck.Yeah, it's not good.It's not good.When, like, dolphins blow waterout of the blow hole,the spasics just drool out their mouth.
01:05:08Anyway.Perfect.Perfect.Let's get some lasagna.We've earned it.We've done it.No, God.I'm all spent now.
01:05:18The Patreon, I'm going to have to...Yeah.Oh, I'm going to have to get myself all psyched up again.You've got to get offensive now.Yeah, now I'm done with the PC bullshit.Come over to the Patreon if you want the real stuff.Yeah, this is like, you know, I had to tone down here.I had to sell out.
01:05:35Yeah.This is Johnny Rotten when he did it a commercial for butter, you know?It's like, if you want the real punk rock,subscribe to the PatreonYour MajestyThat was BBC 1 James CairdTurn over to see BBC 3James Cair
01:05:54Oh yeahBar with a bar to bang to bagDiggy DickingAnd then it's BBC 4 James CairnsAre you talking about canalsWell the Yorkshire CanalWas a very interesting story actuallyIt was a bunch of plebs
01:06:09Got together and shit in a bucketAnd I came along with lots of moneyAnd thoughtWhat if we put a boaton that.Who is it?Oh, it's E4,can.
01:06:18What going onand ting I meanwith my mainman, Noel Clarkand his mad bitchis talkingwow shit about my famhe's so nonsense
01:06:26brovman's well on the glizzyyou get methem suss fam,yeah?Suss, brov.Yeah, sohead over to Patreon.
01:06:35For all thatand moresubscribe to the videoOh, it's BBC Chinese.No,no, stop.Patreon, save it.Yeah.
01:06:46Okay, everyone, thanks for listening.Thanks for listening.Bye.Goodbye.
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