Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 116 : The Shrink Next Door

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

The Noel Clarke Next Door.....

recording. We are going. Yep. This is great. I'm back in James's house. Yes. And I'm feeling good. I tell you, I was feeling I was getting real spazzy over the week. Were you? Yeah, I was very emotional. Oh! Getting angry all the time. And it was all

with someone else's fault. Of course. I was never overreacting. Never. No. But I tell you what, I come here and something about this place, this is like my safe space. I come in and I just relax. Yeah, you just chill out. Yeah, I walk in the door and I just like unclench. Yes, yeah.

I've been clenching the entire week. You know that in these four walls, you can say anything. And you do. Quite horrific stuff. Yes. Yeah, and I always love to hear it. And your neighbours don't like it. Well, how are you doing, James?

Yeah, good, man, good, you know. It's, well, you know. You see, you're excited. Yep, it's another week. I made it another week. Oh, what's been going on? So what's been getting you angry? What's been getting you down?

Real simple things. Kind things that I tell you, you'd be like, what are you talking about, Brian? Right, yeah. Like one thing, this guy owed me a little bit of money.

I actually, I need to give you a tenor, but this guy owed me like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. This guy owed me like $7.20 or something like that. Right. And he was like, oh yeah,

I'll just send it to you using money gram. Money gram. Yeah, it's some app, okay? I've never heard of it. Yeah, and I try to like figure it out when I couldn't. I went all... I started kicking things and stuff 720 is an unusual amount

What was that for? It was a thing for college You had to split it four ways Oh, okay Yeah, but I was proper like And it's always like somewhere If I actually calmed down And explain to someone

It's because I can't work an app properly And they're like Did you have to kick the fucking Because we have a little foos ball table In my house Right And I was just kicking it there for a good A good 40 minutes

And your parents are like He's finally getting into sport. It's great to see. So today we are going to be talking about the shrink next door. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A really interesting story about

gaslighting and psychological abuse. Fantasy then obviously, make-believe stuff. Yeah, yeah. Stuff that we... Dungeons and dragons. That we are really into. But before that, we talked about what's been going on in the week, so the big thing for us was that we were downstairs

watching a little bit of Elon Musk on S&L. On SNL, yeah. Why do you think about that, James? That was very, it was weird, you know what I mean? He just, he is a very odd guy, not even, well, he is, like he has Asperger's or whatever. He came out. Yeah, he came out and said that, but. Which is good deflecting from him, because before they're all like, Elon Musk, bad, bad.

He was like, Asperger's, like, top trumps. Top trumps, yeah, he had them over a barrel then. Oh, apartheid doesn't matter if you have Asperger's. But yeah, so he did the monologue, and like, he's just a lot of moving, like, oh, so, you know, my name is Elon Musk, and, you know, people are like, what's wrong with you? It's like, I built rocket chips. Do you expect me to be a chill dude? And he's doing a lot of head movements, and he kind of was like Keanu Reeves and Bill and Ted, just like, whoa, dude. Yeah.

It was weird. I think he was having fun. I seem like he was having fun. To you honest, I didn't give a shit. Like, when people was like, S&L. Elon Musk, oh no, like people were proper angry about it. They were acting as if like before this SNL had a

perfect track record. Yeah, yeah. But what's funny is right, so Elon Musk, he's not like, he wasn't funny obviously and he wasn't a very good actor but that didn't in any way diminished the quality of the sketches or the show

itself, which is just testament to what a piece of absolute dog shit SNL has become. Yeah, it's just horrendous. could get anyone to do S&L and the sketches would still be the same, like Gen Z Hospital. That Gen Z Hospital. Oh, man.

That could work with anyone. You could get my dad to do that sketch. It would still be the same level. You can't elevate that kind of thing. It's, yeah, so I don't know. Obviously, S&L is trash. Him being on it didn't improve it or you know, reduce the qualities. So

it's kind of a, it was a whatever moment. Why do you think about seeing all the moms? Because it was Mother's Day in America. but not here. Why do we have children Mother's Days? I don't know. I don't know why that is

because they're all made up bullshit holidays that don't really exist. Yeah, they don't exist man. Yeah. That's just a woman

pretending to... That's women gaslighting society. Mother's Day. If you caught her head off it would just grow back like a liquid Terminator. But what do you think

about? I just got the video up here and we got to see all the cast members mothers. Okay. Let's go through and look at the mothers.

Oh, you want us to actually look at the mothers. Let's rank the mothers and decide if they're good enough for my cock This is really Okay

So if you're listening to this Pull up the S&L Mother's Day thing And go through it Well you don't need to We'll describe it to you So first of all we see Who is that

That's old Kate McKinnon Yeah Kate McKinn's mother Kind of looks like Kate McKinnon Yeah a little bit Like an older Kate McKinnon Yeah bring up the brightness here Yeah it gives a pause Awful

Kind of like Elizabeth Warren Yeah And then, whoa Who's this This's a B. Bryant's mother Eddie Bryant Eidy, yeah Eadzie Brian

Kind of looks like Yeah What can you say They're all Kyle Mooney's mother They're all trolls Let's be honest Mylie she's looking good

Is there anyone You like to fuck Look at her Pause on that Who's is that Back to that I think that's Heidi Gardner Heidi Gardner

Just pause Look at that man Holy fuck Yeah it looks like They fish out of the river And they put a bit of lipstick Yeah, look like, you know, just imagine like Liza Minnelli

if they fished her out of a canal tangled up in a shopping trolley. I want to see Beck's mother. I think Beck's mother is hot. She's the pick of the bunch. Yeah, Beck Bennett's mother had big arms. Oh, she could hold you. Show us. Look at her. Look at those veins and arms.

She takes care of herself. She keeps it tight. It's funny, you really see how important genes are. Some of them are like, she's looking good and some of them it's like, oh God, when did she die? Is there anyone else? I want to see Pete Davidson's mother. I bet Pete Davidson's mother is very nasty, filthy girl.

Yeah, she's just... Dirty girl. Fucking new... Was it Long Island they're from? She's just Long Island trash. She's banging firefighters. My fucking husband died in 9-11, so I know I need some fireman cock. Let me slide down your pole if you know what I mean.

Mom, I have borderline bristolty disorder. Shut up, you little queen. That's why your old band died I've heard that In the firefighting community It's pretty common You know like And it's kind of accepted thing like hey

If I die I don't want some fucking stranger banging my wife I want the guys looking after Yeah right okay yeah I don't want some fucking postman You know Some mulein young Some fucking moolly postman

Coming over here sticking it to your mother you're gonna take that huh fuck that shit we need a good Catholic cock right in the pussy that's what we need all right

that's your you're the man of the house now Pedy you're listening to put down that bong your little twink I'm trying to teach you something eh

actually wait that reminded me of the Sopranos I was listening to a podcast called Shattered Shattered Yeah it's about the New York Knicks Right in the 90s

And they go into Remember I was telling you This is like a while ago was telling you that when the Knicks were trying to get LeBron James Oh they did

A little Sopranos video That's right, yeah This podcast is very good I recommend it because they get E.D. Falco on to talk about that Oh wow Apparently like

Gandalfini was really excited to do it Really? Yeah and she said that like they've been offered like way bigger money to be like Can you do this for Coca Cola

or Microsoft? Because he loves basketball Yeah yeah He said yeah But the video sounds even worse than I talk because I thought the video was them it was Tony and

Carmilla. Is it Carmela? Tony, I want you to meet Meadows, no boyfriend. This is LeBron. Oh, who the fuck is this? Chaco, prequered over here. You know what happened?

We know my old man would do if I brought a fucking butterhead in there? Which I don't even know what that means. Butterhead. I assume it's a slur of some kind. Black people love butter. You never see a white man eating butter. They're respectable.

No, but I thought it was just them to, you know, Tony, I just talking about, like, oh, LeBron James, should he come New York? Apparently in the video, they're friends of LeBron James. Oh, wow, yeah. Yeah, and this... Hey, Tony, I just came by to drop over your Black and Decker. Oh! Yeah, I got him check for AIDS. What do you think I am?

Am I a fucking toxic person over here? Something, huh? No, apparently they're friends of LeBron. He's coming over and they're trying to find him a place to live. This is, it's like a reimagining of guess who's coming to dinner. LeBron James is Sydney pot-aill. Pauley comes over. Hey, don't, yeah.

Yeah, it sounds really bad. And apparently the footage is gone now. Okay. You can't find it. Okay. So, it's probably good. I think it would be weird. Also in it because Gandalfi is a big beard at the time because he was filming something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's meant to be they're under witness protection. Okay. But they're still going. going to hang out with LeBron. Right. But keep it on the, on the D.L.

Sure, yeah. Just hang out in a diner in New York. With LeBron, James. David Bowie and Michael Jackson in an urn. I'm living like an everyday schnuck. Yeah.

It's a good podcast. I recommend it even... What's called Shattered? Shattered. Even for non-basketball fans because it's all about... It's hosted by Chuck D. Oh, from fucking public enemy.

Yeah. Sweet. But a lot of times... I get some street. credit there for no one who Chuck D is?

Yeah, I didn't know who that was. Is he from Abba? Chuck D. Is he related to EZE?

Because, you know. Yeah, no, but I will say, it's not like he's actually writing the script

or anything. Okay, yeah. Because a lot of these podcasts now they'll get a celebrity on to host it,

quotation marks, but all he does really just says, like, hey, this is the podcast and then like, here's an interview

with someone else and they do the right, okay. They have a little bunch of interviews And at the very end, he's like, well, that's the podcast. Fight the Power.

Yeah. If you want to fight the power, check out our merch online. There's a lot of ads for Viagra. Okay. Well, it's not Viagra. It's like, what would you expect from Chuck D? Uh, get it? It is funny.

It is funny how so many podcasts, they're all sponsored by, like, dick hardening pills. Yeah. It's like, we should be the first one and it's like, dick softening pills. Hey, is your dick too hard? Are you just walking around poking? three-year-olds in the eye with her massive cock accidentally wink wink because they're sure winking after you're done with them

but listen take our what is it what would we what would you call it floppy pills take our floppy pills definitely this is a marketing meeting now okay yeah yeah we come up with the name first then the product right okay so it would be

a hard no hard no hard no hard no hard no hard no hard No hard. Let's circle back to that. I'm going to circle back to that. I'm going to stay up all night if I have to. Hard. So, yeah, Chuck D's podcast, Dick Hardening Pills.

I wish, why can't we get sponsorship with Dick Hardening Pills? I've tried. They're like, we don't want, we, customers don't like the idea of brino tool being hard. Two men with erections? Not in this lifetime, buddy. Take that sick shit, the Fantasy Island. It definitely is our name, the fact that we have fuck in the title. That should attract them.

Well, you'd think so, but... They're pussies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I was talking to a blue-chew guy at one stage. I was telling you that, wasn't I? Mr. Blue-choo himself. Mr. Blue-Too. Of the Blue-chew.

Please, my father was Mr. Blue-choo. My friends call me Chewy. That's not what they call you, and you know it. Shabbat, Shalom. Yeah, but I was talking to... representative from the company and he was like well we kind of only deal

with the American market so we have no interest in the Irish market at the moment okay that's a real fuck you yeah isn't it fucking cons they would have respected me

if I just sent him abuse Bluetooth's for paedophiles there I said it yeah now it's true yeah now we're just gonna sub man just want to watch the world bird

I said that now the entire empire of blue chew will crumble overnight. Yeah, yeah. Like Rome falling. Yeah. Um, so that was one podcast to listen to. Okay. And the other podcast been listened to

is the shrink next door. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, you were telling me about this. Sounds very interesting. Now, I didn't tell you too much because I wanted to get your genuine reaction. Oh, this is what he does. Yeah. He tries to, do, pull little tricks on me, you know? I like keeping you in the dark

at all times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right? Because I want to get your genuine reaction. A lot of times this is scripted and then you're going like oh wow and i've been rehearsing for months in the mirror yeah in the mirror yeah that's why i've gained all this weight for the podcast i'm like christian bale yeah reverse christian but um they call me the machinist because i need a machine to breathe properly so i've been listening to this uh the shrink next door it came out like last year okay i remember the time people like oh my god brang you have to listen to this podcast it's so great. Who are these people?

People online. I pretend like they're my friends. No. I meant the Huffington Post. That's those people. You go to a cafe with your laptop and you pretend it's like we're friends in Central Perk. Just you in the corner. Sorry, I don't

drink coffee. Yeah, I try to start a conversation just walk past someone with Shrinkling's door. Shrinkin his door says what? Okay, so... So they all say it's great, but the thing with the podcasting world is it feels like every single week there's a new

true crime thing It is It's a very Over saturated market It is And also a lot of times Like the crazy true crime It's just like

It's a 10 episode series And at the end it's like Oh the other creepy husband Yeah he did it Yeah If you can believe such a thing But this is different This is a

This is less about murder And more about psychological intrigue Okay Okay So And the reason it came up now Is

that they're making a TV show based on this. Okay. Starring Paul Rode and Will Farrell. Yes. And the doctor involved in this has recently been back up in the news. Okay.

Yeah, but we'll get to that at the end. Yeah, I get to that, yeah, yeah. So we'll just jump right in, shall we? Do it, do it, let's do it. I'll describe the main players. Oh, okay. Okay. I'll tell you who's playing who, just so you

get an idea, a visual idea. I believe it's, uh, it's gonna, the show is by Michael Schollwater. Showwater, yeah. And he kind of did stuff with like, uh, David Wayne and that whole. group of people who like I like their stuff like they admit their stuff very silly

I'm hoping they don't go silly with this yeah okay it is dark in places yeah all right okay so we'll jump into it okay a picture a man a Jewish man what stop Marty Markowitz Marty Markowitz

hello kids my name is Marty Markowitz yeah he's now he's played by Will Farrell in the show okay so and it sounds I need more cowbell, okay. No, that's too much cowbell. I have a migraine. Now, he is, it sounds like he's very man-childish in this,

so I think Will Farrell will do it. It's not really much of a push for Will Farrell. Sure, yeah. Okay, so he is a guy, he grew up in New York, all right? Right. And his father runs... It's you in New York. Yeah.

Are you sure this is a true story? He, he, uh, his father ran a very, very successful fabrics company. Okay. Okay. Now, the father dies. Right. And now Marty is put in charge He's in his late 30s

He's in charge This big multi-million dollar company Okay A lot of stress there, right Sure Now make it worse Is he's like Oh am I good enough

To fill my father's shoes One of the uncles doesn't think so The uncle's like That should be me Right So there's a little bit of an argument Amongst the family Of Shakespearean

Isn't it Like a Greek tragedy Come to life Speaking of Shakespeare There's an evil bitch In this as well Of course I knew it

And he's dating a girl as well and the girl's like we need to get married right now you just got money let's get married right now and he's kind of like maybe we should get a pre-nup and she's like

if you get a pre-nup that means he doesn't love me yeah well then that's on you sign it or get out so there's a lot of stress okay mean uncle

mean girlfriend right and this uncle is the dad's brother I'm assuming yeah yeah yeah so and he's kind of like oh the worthless son shouldn't own the company

interesting now Okay. Now, Marty's under a lot of pressure, so he decides to go to a therapist. What? For what? Do you think that's a pussy move? Yeah, real pussy.

You know what he needs to do? He needs to go out, pound a few beers, and then pound a few quays. You know what I'm talking about? That's how we deal with our problems. We have a couple of Jack Daniels, and I smash a glass in some Finook's fucking face. Yeah, it's literally better for you.

It is, yeah. Like, it's a scam in a way. Better for every. Oh, it is. Total scam. I, for... Mental health, not... No, for a bit of a laugh recently,

I was looking up online therapy, all right? Oh, what? Better been for a goof photo. Oh, it's for a podcast. Look, you getting humiliated by prostitutes is fine, but therapy, that's where I draw the line. If they found out about this, they'd be sickened. Yeah.

If Mait Higgins found out about this, she'd vomit. All right. All over her seeing eye dog. Look into it. Yeah. Alex Jones is the whole thing about it I can't like

this goddamn comedian whore so he decided to go to a therapist Oh no I was talking about I tried to go

to a therapist recently Yeah I look at you trying to deflect I was just looking up

for the crack okay for a giggle alright and I don't like the online therapy stuff

because it's 65 euro for texting session Yeah that's fucking like what is that

Not like you see their face or anything Yeah For texting for an hour, that's 65, for the initial hour. That's ridiculous. Isn't that a scam?

That is a scam. That's a fucking scam. And also on the website, you can pick which therapist you want. None of them look like that was the picture. It looks like they got the worst picture than possible. Okay. Also, one of the therapist is a nose ring. What?

Yeah. A nose ring? Yeah. I don't want my therapist to be in a fucking real big fish cover band on the weekends. Fucking less than Jake over here. telling me what I need to do to improve my fucking mental attitude. Yeah, fucking smash

mouth, cunt. It's a scam. It's a scam. And Marty should have known this, but he didn't. So what he did is he looked up like, okay, I'm a rich guy. I'm kind of a public profile. People know me around the place. He goes to a lot of like functions and charity dinners, okay? Yeah. So he decides,

okay, just a therapist who specializes in the rich and famous. Right. Dr. Ike. Hertzcock. Hertzcov I think it's Hertzcove Let's go with

Hertzcov Dr. Ike Dr. Ike Ike Come on Ike Eich Hey Oike Oike

Oik Oik Oik Oik Okay So Dr. Ike Okay

He's got a lot of famous clients Alright We'll find Find out about a few As the show goes on

Alright But So Marty Goes Dr. Ike And he's like Oh my God I've got

So many Problems Can you help me Dr. Ike says He doesn't say Like Oh I will

give you tools in order to help yourself deal with these things. Dr. Rike says don't worry, I'll fix all your problems. Wow. Yeah. I like the confidence. I like the confidence. Immediately. Yeah. There's another thing in this show in this podcast and we'll get to it, but like

where do you draw the line between being like an individual who was gaslit and you know someone like psychologically controlled you? Where's the line between that and just a chump? Sure. You know what I mean? I get you. Yeah. I know. Well, yeah. Okay.

There's some people in this, I think you could classify as chump. Chump. But in the podcast, every single person is like they play a sad music and like, oh my God, I can't believe Dr. Ike would do this. Yeah, I was manipulated. But anyway, so Dr. Ike immediately is like helping Marty. Right, okay. So first thing he does is that, you know that girlfriend? Yeah.

Dump her? Dump her, yeah. Sweet. Well, I think she left. But I took credit for it anyway. Oh, no, I tell you, I forgot. What happened is they broke up

because of the pre-nup scandal Okay Yeah, yeah Yeah She came back Like two months later And was like Hey,

by the way When we were together You said you'd pay For my vacation I still want you to pay For my vacation You're not allowed to come Okay

And Dr. Ike was like Maybe don't pay For a vacation Martin Martin He was like Oh my God You're a genius You can

You can say no to a woman My God, Doc I'm cured Oh it's just fantastic So Ike immediately he's like he's um he's helping marty but he's really going like we need three sessions a week you know right yeah and he's he's really like we you need a lot of me marries how much is he charge in an hour big this is big bucks yeah and also this is actual mental health ice not what we

give the plebs on the in the public sector this is the classified this is the real shit also dr ike will sometimes be playing around he's his big thing is like i'm not just a therapist i'm your buddy okay and an early sign of like things being a bit strange was dr ike was like, hey, you know what? I'm your buddy. I'm your buddy and my birthday's coming up. I want you to buy me a pair of sneakers. Yeah, okay.

And this is going to be a bonding exercise, okay? Right. So they walked from his office down to the street to the sneaker store. Yeah. Dr. Ike says, I want those and he made Marty pay for him. And he was like, now we're friends. Here endeth a lesson. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you couldn't get this mother therapist. This is great. So he's helping him and he's helping him. And then Dr. Ike's like, you know what? You're running this business. I think the best way I can help you, so I go down there and check out the business. Right, yeah.

You know, just have a little look to see what's going on, okay? Sure, yeah. So Dr. Ike comes down, and he's making lots of suggestions. Okay. They're meant to be helpful, but they're all very like, uh, move that table over there. Yeah.

Or, oh, that door opens inwards, make it open outwards. Yeah. But, and like, Marty is, like, proper, like, oh, wow, I didn't think it. That's really helpful. Yeah, that can really help the whole mood of the office. Yeah, Marty does sound like a

real chump now to be honest. And even the other guys who work, they interview some of the guys who work in the company, a lot of them were like, what the fuck was going on here? The door opens one way, opens one, who do you the fuck? Oh, my, oh, fucking Stephen boy just lost his arm in the fabric machine

last week. This motherfucker's opening a door. What's going on here? So even at the start of workers, like, is it kind of weird how Marty is just like, almost like a puppy, following Ike around. Yeah, okay. But Ike sees a problem.

Marty's sister works in the company. Okay. And she is very close to Marty. Right. And Dr. Ike doesn't like that. Dane's in the office. It'll never work. Dr. Ike is like,

hey, I tell you what, how about I become your sister's therapist as well? That would be fun. So he tries to get her involved. And she's like, that's bit weird. You know, you're my brother's therapist. You want to be my therapist He's probably like

Hey your brother's a real wacko Has he told you about his foot fetish Look at these sneakers From him He's a fucking chump Come on baby We could be living the high life Yeah so he's like

I should be your doctor And she's like no She immediately becomes the enemy Of Ike Yeah yeah So Ike starts filling Marty's head With all these things like Oh your sister's taking advantage of you

oh she's working she's expecting the salary for working with you bad okay and they interviewed a sister and she says the attitude completely changed between her and her brother where they were really friendly before and they'd even like take taxi into work together and talk about you know like uh business talk about business just family and like marty

was really good friends with like her children right like she was he was the cool uncle and then after dr right got involved Marty suddenly became like don't talk about anything other than business Right And if I catch you talking about anything Other than business in work

You're getting deducted Wow Okay and I'm not talking to you outside of work Jesus Christ Yeah So he really had his Dr. Reich really had his claws in Marty Yeah yeah

A lot of people say the personality I mean let's be honest Marty sounds like a full blown retard Who's that easily influenced Another thing they always said is Although I haven't said that It would be kind of great If I got manipulated by a doctor

And they were like You can't see your family and more. Yeah, cool. Good. Let's just do it. It would be fun just kind of turn off your brain

and be like, oh, I'm just doing what Dr. I tells me. Almost like season two of succession, no spoilers, but you know, in season two of succession. Yeah, sure.

It's almost like I'm just doing, I'm not, I have no free will anymore. I'm like a puppet. Yeah, I can just do bad shit now. I don't really care. I've turned off my motions. Right.

But like workers would say that they'd hear Marty on the phone sometimes and he'd be talking like a client, let's say, right? And he'd be like, let's say, I don't think we can do that price Yeah can we can we

Can we lower that Okay Give me a minute And then he'd call up I can be like What am I supposed to do here Okay I'll say that And he'd call up company like

Yeah I'm not taking that Yeah I'm not to wait Hey it's my way or the highway buddy I know where your kids are right now They're in the playground I've got a guy I got a sniper in the bushes You want to play hardball

Your kids are going to buy me sneakers This is the fabric softener business or whatever the fuck it is I don't even know the fabric but close enough textiles yeah yeah yeah

yeah so this carpet world motherfucker the gloves are off it is like the sopranos like we're killing people over there like some black guys

trying to style carpet on the street they're on my territory yeah yeah so um Dr. Ike's influence becomes

weirder and weirder okay where he's like you know what the company seems because he's a lot of stress how about I just take that over for you

Oh my god And you know Marty's like That's really helpful Thank you So much sense So they register the company under Dr. Ike's name

Under a fake name I should say Holy shit So he becomes like You know he's like Hey Marty Just simpler for the tax guys And everything

All on all the paperwork I'll be like Dr. Stephen Jackson or something like that And Marty again is like Yeah great This all makes sense Doc

Yeah Because that way like You know We're both winning somehow And then, all right, Dr. Reich is like, you know what, you have an apartment in New York, you got this big, big house out in the Hamptons. It's a lot of stress. Yeah, okay.

I'll tell you what, I'll move in with you. Yes. I'll move in and I'll take the master bedroom. And you can have the dog kennel outside. Oh, brilliant, doc. Yes, this helps us both. I don't even have a dog. This is great.

So they've so much room. in here he puts marty in the spare room okay and marty's not allowed keep his food in the in the kitchen area what the absolute fuck he has to keep his food in the bedroom with him yeah so he's just like living like a prisoner yeah it's like okay marty you know what i just realized if you suck my dick three times a day that will relieve the stress in your tempo mandibular jaw and uh oh yeah he's he's a doctor Okay, and then, this is some great stuff in this. Then Ike is like, you know what would really help you? What if you built a miniature golf course out the back of your house?

Who called it Aikland? So he got Marty to build him a miniature golf course, a full-scale basketball course, and got him lots of life-sized statues of cows. Okay, weird. Yeah, lots of, like, life-sized statues. There's lots, lots of stuff that, like, Marty was not interested in. Right.

Marty did not, like, golf or basketball. Obviously, and so Marty obviously had a lot of money then to be able to finance this. Yeah, yeah, well, he's run the big company, okay? Right, okay. Now, um, the sister, she's still in the picture, right? Here we go. Fucking buzzkill. She's like, uh, this is a little strange.

Shut up! My mental health. Yeah, so Marty fires her. Good. Finally. Okay, now here's the thing. Uh, there's a joint account. count on the bank

with like some diamonds and some necklaced like some very expensive jewelry and stuff okay that only the sister and Marty can access

kind of like safety deposit box yeah yeah yeah the sister is pissed so she's like you know what fuck my brother I'm taking that stuff

sure yeah you know I don't deserve this and he's fucking I'm taking it almost for like his protection yeah exactly because eventually fucking Dr. Ike

will get his grubby little paws on it so she takes it all right what does marty do he sends a letter not to his sister

but to his sister's daughter okay he sends a he drafts a letter and sends it to the daughter's school so the principal has to call the daughter

and be like yeah we got a letter from your uncle here what age is the daughter is she's in the high school okay so the principal's like there's a letter from your uncle

you should read it and the letter was literally like I'm sorry to inform you but your mother is a duplicitous bitch What's duplicitous mean? Don't worry about that, sweetie. Just keep reading. No, something like your mother is a bad woman.

She's a teeth. She's a criminal. I can't trust her and I can no longer be around you or your mother. This is your mother's fault. I love being your uncle, but your mother has driven me away from you. P.S. I'm pretty sure she bangs Puerto Ricans for sick pleasure.

kindest regards Uncle Marty Yeah Yeah So that kind of Caused a bit of a wedge In the family Dr. Reich

You know he's coming in Playing all these mind games And like a weird Tricky magician Yeah Mujahadine You can call him Judini

Huh Yeah Yeah Get it right Kids Huh Uh Antisemitic

Let's kick Go Yeah Judini Are you with me here because he's a Jewish I love when people say like oh you just do like

kind of like lazy offensive comedy oh please come on Judeini that's beautiful no one could think of that is that is what is Gen Z Hospital better anyway

so it's getting worse and worse this situation Dr. Ike is like oh I should Dr. Ike had like kids by the way he had a family he moved the whole family

into Marty's house and he's like oh you know what Marty, you've got no family left anymore because I've driven them all away from you. You know what? You should do because, you know, if you die, your money's not going to go anywhere. Put my kids in your will.

What the fuck, man? Martin, did I have a wife? Yep. So she, is she complicit? She knows what's going on? She knows all about this. Yeah, she's like, my husband's very smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves it, like. There's nothing sexier than your husband's scamming

a basically mentally disabled man. Yeah, it seems like he's a fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. So, what happens next? Let me get my notes up. Let's see.

Oh, here's a very juicy thing, all right. So, Dr. Ike fancies himself a writer. Oh, I see. He wrote multiple novels featuring a psychiatrist.

Dr. Sexy and the wealthy retard by Dr. I featuring a psychiatrist who solves crimes. Okay. with a sidekick called Marty

who's a Mexican Hey Mr. Ike I think we find out who did this homes Please go back to the garden Marty I'll call you and I need you So Dr. Ike would write all this In legal pads

With pencil right And then he'd get Marty to type it up Yes This is part of your therapy No, no, that would count as his session. That's fucking insane. So, you have to remember this whole time, Marty is still paying for sessions.

Oh, wow. So he typed up seven full mystery novels. Does it get published? No. Oh. Which is a shame. They actually read out a bit of it on the podcast. It seemed very generic.

Yeah. Very law and order. Sure. There's a bit in it where, like, the cop, the criminal's got the gun on Dr. Ike. He's like, how do you find me? And he's like, well, I knew the body. was in such a place where it's almost like someone

wanted to find it and he's like hey good work professor but it looks like your time is over and it looks like disappointment is over right but then Marty comes in and saves the day nice yeah yeah he just hits him with a burrito

hey Dr. Reich what's going on man and then Dr. Wright puts him back in the cage Dr. Ike calls ice gets rid of Marty that's how every book ends Marty gets deported Another very weird thing is that with multiple patients, Dr. Ike made them get second bar mitzvahs. So chop off more of their foreskin?

I think it's, I honestly think it's more he just liked the party. Right. Okay, yeah, so I actually was going to ask there, how many patients does he have? Because it really seems like... Lots. And is he doing this to all of them? It seems like a lot of them, yeah. Wow.

Another thing... What a busy bee. Another thing Dr. Ike would do is he would write letter. about his patients and send them to his friends Oh my God So like he literally He wrote out a letter

And gave it to Marty type up And it was all about Courtney Love Really? Because he was Courtney Love psychiatrist Jesus And Marty was like There's a lot of very personal stuff In these letters

Where you're basically Yeah yeah And he's like I could sell this to like The New York Like yeah What's the real trashy one? Oh the National Enquirer

The National Enquirer I could sell this for millions Like this is all about Courtney loves, like, you know, who she's banging and who her friends are banging. Yeah, yeah. This is very juicy. And you're just handing it to me.

What are you writing about him? Me, yeah. It's like nothing, Marty, because you're a boring fuck. Thank God. Yeah, yeah. So, like, yeah, what other patients did he have? He had Courtney love, any other big names?

I think he was looking after Kurt for a while. Oh, that went well. Well, yeah, well, he used to have big parties in the Hamptons. And he'd invite loads of people. over. He was very good friends at Richard Kind. Oh, okay. Apparently, Richard Kind was always hanging out in the pool. Which is funny you think about this, you know, like this kind of psychological thing and Richard Kind just hanging out. Yeah, yeah. But, um...

Wait, so he was a doctor to Kurt and Courtney? Do they, in the podcast ever allude to the... No, I don't think he actually pulled the trigger. Murder suicide theory? No. But he was friends with everyone. Apparently, he put up loads of pictures of himself in Marry's house. And it was pictures of him with like, you know, OJ and all the big names OJ, Richard Kind all the big names

and a lot of people who went to the house taught fucking Marty was like the Gardner or something or like the butler because he would never talk yeah he'd keep his head down

look at his feet and you'll hand out like truffles whatever so Ike really had this guy like manipulated to an extreme degree around his little finger and there's loads of footage of Dr.

I hanging out with other patients you know yeah female patients and he's like oh I can see you're exercising

ooh that exercise really paid off and you know and Marty was holding the camera wow he's getting Marty

to hold the camera while he's actual like footage of this stuff yeah yeah while he's like flirting with these uh

while he's own patients yeah yeah and like in the podcast I was like her hand was very close to his shorts

oh or you know the hand was moving ever closer to the groin. A bit of physical therapy, if you know what I mean. Oik, oik, oik, oik, oik, oik, oik. So what else is going on in this? What else happened?

So, like, it just seemed, oh, by the way, this lasted for almost 30 years. Wow. Holy shit. 30 years. 30 years of this. Respect. It is like, you got to give it to them.

I mean, it's horrific, but fucking. You got to love to hustle. Look, don't hate the player. the game you know what's like it's like you know the guys who have like the three cups and you have to guess which uh what's under the cup if you if you do that and you lose yeah whose fault is it kind of on you yeah yeah and like marty's like the worst case there's other people that weren't affected that much i feel like they're like there's one girl's interview for the podcast and she's like i i was sad and i went to marty because me and my mother had a bad

relationship oh no sorry ike i went to ike and i was like me and my mother of a bad relationship but she died should i go to the funeral and i was like no no and she's like and i didn't go to the funeral and now i regret it well again that's on you yeah that's the thing with all these stories of like oh i was you know manipulated it's like okay so what personal responsibility accountability take an agency for your own life doesn't come into play here you were just completely manipulated and you're not at fault at all well i feel like well that's the narrative they're trying to push but i ain't buying it, bitch. I ain't drinking

the Kool-Aid. Ike for president Caddog out. Yes. I feel like a lot of these cases where someone's been abused. There's always like a very legitimate case of abuse and then people hear about and they try and latch on to it like little leeches. I also was affected by

this. Somehow, let me think. But like it's a tale as old as time, you know, the chump getting taken for a ride. I mean that's the world we live in. Everything is the entire world, the entire global economy and foreign policy. It's all manipulation, baby. Cinema, television, advertising.

We're all being manipulated. And it's great. I love it. Manipulate me more. That's what I want. No one cares enough to manipulate us. Exactly, yeah. I wish some fucking crazy son of a bitch would come in and like try to take us over and pit us against each other.

That'd be great, you know? No one cares. Nobody cares. Well, no one cared of a moment. Marty near the end because what happened is the company was going to shit okay because it's being run by a psychiatrist that is too busy thinking about

mystery novels all right Courtney loves pussy yeah so the guys who worked there were like Marty we gotta move the rents are in so we're in New York the rents let's move over to Jersey right we go over Jersey we can actually buy a place full out you don't pay rent anymore yeah yeah and Marty's like

I guess that's a good idea is that a good idea and Ike's like no no I am never going to Jersey that rich famous people are not in Jersey yeah what Kevin Smith's there I don't want to fucking listen to Smodcast I need fucking Gabagoo all right

I'm a New Yorker fuck Jersey yeah so he was like I'd rather the company go bankrupt than we go to Jersey I would rather another three 9-11s right after each other than go to fucking New Jersey but here's the thing this is when Marty starts like kind of wake up from the spell a little bit because the company's about to go on

me up. Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Wake me up. Yeah. The company's about to go under and Marty's like, no, I have to do this. All my staff, people's lives are in risk here. So when are we talking like when he starts, this is, this has got to be like post recession, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we're talking like, what, 20? I assume around 2008, 2009. All right, okay. Right, right. So Marty is like, we're going to have to move. So they move against Dr. Ike's wishes. Ooh.

And Dr. Ike is pissed. like he is so pissed he will visit the New Jersey office but he just finds things wrong right okay his things wrong are like that TV's there that's stupid

you put a TV on the wall what's wrong with you he literally said my kids heard about the TV on the wall they all think you're an idiot nice one Dr. Ike's getting a bit sloppy with his gaslight

and to be honest I think he's been resting on his laurels for too long you've lost your edge doc you don't got what it takes no more it's like it's like when a comedian gets successful yeah they don't work on the material that's right abusers are funnier when they're riding the bus that's what sinbad used to say yeah you got to keep working every day you got to keep it sharp keep it sharp even you know what it's like for abusers you got to like work the small clubs you got to work they like yeah just like the dead beats the junkies the pimps the

buggers, the hoars. You know, you've got to get the bottom feeders in the trash. If you spend all your time abusing the very rich, you'll lose your edge. You have to go find some fucking like garbage man or a podcaster and start abusing them. Just to work out a few little, like, I'm trying this new thing

tonight where I call it a girl's fat. I'm going to see if it works. See if it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to see if I can get them to start taking blue chew 24 hours a day. Let's see if it works. So, and then, Marty starts to get sick. Oh?

He's having heart problems. Oh. Marty has to go in for an operation. Right. And he's like, oh, oh no, no one's visiting me because I've alienated all my friends and family. Yes. But Dr. Ike will visit, won't he? No, Dr. Ike don't visit.

Dr. Ike, don't visit, don't text, don't call. Like a true G. That's what I like. He's like, you're no good to me now. Yeah. Come to me when you want to start. cleaning the house again. This place is a fucking pig stime, Marty.

So because of this incident, Marty's like, I don't think Dr. Ike has my best interest to heart. So he decides to go to his sister and try and make amends, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the sister then fills his head full of nonsense. Oh, God. You should be an independent man. You shouldn't keep your food in the bedroom, you know? You should put your food in the press. Nonsense.

You should be allowed to. to go to the toilet whenever you want not just once a day what are you Gandhi shut up stop to fill my head full nonsense so he starts to wake up a little bit yeah okay yeah yeah and

during this time I should have mentioned that there's a guy who works from New York Times lives right beside Marty and he notices this and he thinks this is a bit weird so he starts doing a podcast about this and that's where the podcast came from

Oh, wait, so you listen to his podcast? Yeah, this is a podcast by a guy who writes for the New York Times. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So he was looking for a story. He found it right next door. That's where the name shrink next door comes from. Can't believe it then.

It's obviously lies. It's all lies. The New York Times, wake up, right? Fabric's not a thing. Okay, so the podcast game. And now, so had there been any repercussions? Yes, yes. So there was like a two-year ordeal where they were trying to get his

license taking away, get Dr. Ike's license taken away and Dr. Ike's like, I've done nothing wrong. Yeah. How does I do anything wrong? Yeah, yeah. He was asking for it, basically, yeah. He didn't need all that bone marrow. Come on. And it's funny how he's like, Dr. Ike is like, hey, look at

all these documents that got him to sign saying that he was of sound mind and definitely not being controlled. Yes. But it's like, if you get a guy to sign like 12 documents saying I'm not being controlled. Yeah. That looks a bit weird, isn't it? It does. It's a little strange, yeah. so did he go to jail or anything marty or dr ike in the last few months he's lost his license

okay but oh there's a weird thing actually when they first confronted dr ike about this or like the new york times guy yeah yeah dr ike's uh defense was that he had to do this because marty was unstable and he liked to drown animals marty like to drown animals yeah okay weirdly dr ike says this is his defense like the first time these questions on this, it never gets brought on up again. Oh, okay. So I feel like this is him getting real sloppy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just throwing shit at the wall,

you know? Seeing what states? This is, again, the comedy equivalent of reading off the notes. I'm just being like, uh, that didn't work. That didn't work. They're not all going to be winners, folks. We're trying something here. Yeah. Yeah. So that's basically it. So at the moment

he's lost his license. And but not really legally has happened yet. Yeah. What about his wife? Is she going to get, like... Dr. Ike's wife? Yeah, yeah. She's grand.

She's complicit. Is she not? No, actually, she called up and was like, can we get the novels back? Oh, okay. Because a lot of Ike's shit is still in Marty's house. Right, okay. So she was like, yeah, I know the way we controlled you for 30 years, but can, like, stop being a dick, all right? Come on, Marty.

Don't be a douche. Yeah. So I think that that's basically everything I have about the shrink next door. I look forward to the show. I really hope the show. isn't too silly I don't know like

because there's a I got sense there's a much darker side to this that even the podcast didn't cover okay like there's a lot of like

some of the some of the sexual stuff and like there's probably more going on there but they can't say it because it's a New York Times thing

what kind of sexual stuff there's a lot they mentioned a lot like he was hanging out with a lot of his female patients and they kept touching his tie right

a lot of Noel Clarkism oh fuck yeah kid old hood well go on and ting I be ripping da bitchies fam etc That was crazy That happened

We just recorded the last episode Of the podcast And we found out about that The story broke And Brian was like Oh we need to record another one And I was like Get out of my house

It's 11pm I want you gone But Kidult hood I actually rewatch Kidold hood there Does it hold up Fucking trash It's awful It's really bad

And I'm not saying that I mean you know me Brian And I like to support the work of abusers. Yeah, that's you're known for it. That's my whole thing. No, I remember watching kid adulthood when I was younger and really loving it. It's fucking shite. Like, the whole thing, it's kind of like, it plays a trick on you, right?

Because it's, the majority of the film is like colloquialisms and slang. It's like, you're going to step to me, fam, going to mark me blood, blah, blah, blah, all that type of stuff. Yeah. So you kind of like, oh, I guess this, you know, there's a gritty authenticity. to it, right? But then when you kind of look past that, it's like, oh, actually the decisions being made by the characters and the way they go on.

It's actually really dumb and underwritten, underdeveloped. It's just not very good. It's bad writing, bad directing, bad acting. And you kind of got fooled the first time because it's like, you know, it's all sex, drugs and violence and like British street slang.

Yeah. So you kind of... So when you're watching, you're like, I'm kind of basically in a gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I'm pretty, I'm pretty, I'm pretty, much plan B over here. Now you can walk around Monaghan and be like, yeah. Well, go on, fam. Allow it, fam, fam, allow it.

Man's going to get murk and ting. On the glissie, fam, man, Lincoln and Jesse, you get me. I'm afraid I don't. I kind of more liked it because I was a big Noel Clark fan from Doctor Who. You're just right, he was in Doctor Who. See, I never watched Doctor Who. See, I was a big fan Noel Clark. I still am.

And the whole two words, two roads diverge at a water. I'm all like, yeah, British gangster street crimes. Well, I really love this work in Doctor Who. Yeah, I watched Kiddell Holds like, Where's the Cybermen? This is strange. I see black men, no Cybermen. But like...

They're in disguise. The Cybermen are wearing Fubu tracksuits. But I liked them, all right? And I kind of, looking back, I kind of surprised, he was really, he was always putting out stuff. Oh, man, he's very prolific. Yeah, he always putting out films.

I didn't realize how powerful he was. Is he that powerful? No, that's the thing. I didn't think. so initially, right? Because literally his entire filmography is fucking garbage. Like, Kidulthood is the best film

he's ever made, and even it is shite. And that was the lowest budget of all them, but like... Yeah, but it's all fucking garbage. It's all very kind of cheap, low-budget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But see, he won the BAFTA, right? But then he was on like whatever, like the board of trustees or something, like the actual BAFTA committee.

I guess, you know, whatever, for whatever reason, they decided to put him on. So because of that, he had clout in the industry even though he didn't deserve it because his work was all terrible but Doctor Who? Yeah well obviously Doctor Who yeah like that

endears him to fucking little white nerds like you but yeah the top dogs the hard lads like Cadden here I was like Oh yeah see if a woman came to me and she's like oh Noel made me feel uncomfortable like but Doctor Who he played Mickey

But fucking like what is it like 20 women I think it's like almost close to 30 now. It's like 27. It's insane. I'll tell you what doesn't sound good now. I've been thinking about this a lot. If you hear the Guardian have your dick pics, that does not sound good,

does it? What's fucking insane, though, is like he won, he got the BAFTA, it's like Lifetime Achievement BAFTA or some shit. He's given the speech about it, but he knows that the Guardian article is about to come out. Yes. The BAFTAs know about the

allegations, but decided to still give him the award. It's fucking insane. He's just standing there. He's like, yeah, when I won this 12 years ago, people are like, oh, you're cocky, brough. So I was like, maybe I'll apologise, but you know what? I'm not going to apologize. For nothing. For nothing, I didn't do nothing.

And it's like, mate, you've got 20 women coming forward at rape allegations and you're standing there as like, inclusivity in it, fam. Do you know? Yeah. It's insane. Oh, I think now, what would you've done now? You're in that same position.

Yeah. See, would you have gone like... Okay, here's what I want to do. got in front of the story, would you? No, this is what I would have done is, like, there's going to be a lot of like crazy things being said about me, yeah? But I'm going to even the playing field for you now. This is my apology to all them bitches. And I just pulled on my trousers and shoved the entire bath to statue up my ass.

Like, oh, fucking out. Like, it hurts and ting. But maybe now you see that, like, we is level. That is all good. So, let's sleep in dogs lie, yeah? And it'll be like, the first black man to put a bag. up his ass that's progress

but not the last not if Kenneth Brana gets his way do you remember well actually I always I didn't think he'd be like you know

as bad as he was but there always there was a rumor about him being a bit of a cunt because you know Adam Deacon yes

yeah they had a big feud yeah because they like he was in Adam Deacon was in kid oldhood they had a real working relationship that did movies

together blah blah but then there was a big falling out and then apparently Adam Deacon like got sectioned because he like kind of

he sent death threats to he sent death threats to Noel Clark via text and Noah Clark took him to court and he got sectioned and all this stuff

but then later on he was also running around with machete I think yeah I think he has got some mental issues and probably Noel Clark didn't help it

help it yeah yeah but so there was a rumor like he's a bit like you know bit harsh yeah bit mean

but it sounds like you know what's so like what are the allegations he was like filming women without their consent and showing it

making them do naked auditions when they didn't want to filming it showing it around and then sending cockpicks and dick pics

like grabbing on women trying to kiss them touching them caressing them just like just creepy purvy shit I don't know if there's any

hard hour allegations no is there not no no but still there's enough you know bad stuff there and like here's a thing

like not to say that if your work's good you can get away with it but his his work is terrible. He is not good. What about bulletproof? What was that with Ashley Waters?

That's the TV show he's in. On Sky One. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think you've answered your own question there, pal. There's a great scene in that, all right? It's a great show on Sky One. There's a great scene in that where, like, I think there's a terrorist trying to put, give him, throws him handcuffs.

He's holding a guns. Like, put those on. And no clerks, like, when are you people going to learn, we don't wear chains? Ah. It's her slavery. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless she was a fan-ass, bitch, get me. Yeah, so.

But yeah, so it's wild. All these allegations coming out now. And then he's throwing Barrowman on her bus as well. Poor old John Barrowman. He's right. Oh, we should talk about that video as well. Yeah, that was hilarious. He should have done that, and accepting the awards.

Barrowman took his dick out and he did it like this. And he used the mic as a proff. He used the microphone as his dick to show that John Barrowman, who was his co-star and Doctor Who used to, like, whip out his dick and like rested on people's shoulders. So there's Noel Clark there and then two middle-aged middle-class white women. Yeah.

And he's just going around pretending the microphone is his dick and slapping them like in the face with a microphone and it goes on for about three minutes. Yeah. And everyone is very uncomfortable. It is good mind games though

because it's like there's layers to it because it's like this is what a gay guy would do if he was rubbing his cock in your face right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the white woman can't get offended. Yeah, yeah. this is like what gay bloods do

with their dick and thing they slap it on the face and the shoulder because they don't want to get near the punani in it like if you had a bum hole they'd be like give me the bummo fam but no they can't even fathom that because the bumo too close to the punani and that's too much for a minute yeah

I don't know if that really switched there yeah yeah yeah I'm letting you roll like you've got energy now what's this we're going after a black man let's go after a white guy now. John Barrowman. Innocent. Wait, no, gay.

Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! And Welsh. Welsh tend to be American. Yeah, but what's that about it? He has like the American accent, but he's Welsh. I think he was Welsh, and he came over to America and he was like 10. Right, okay. And that's where he caught the gay. Caught the gay, yeah. I got the bug,

the acting bug. Also called AIDS. But like, yeah, they're trying to get him as well, but no one's made a complaint about Barrowman. It sounds like it was all fun. Everyone involved, it's funny like everyone involves like, yeah, he rubbed his cock on my chuggler and I liked it and people on

Twitter like, it's still wrong. Yeah, well again, like now, I'll just preface by saying I have never done this, but like, you know, growing up with lads, you know, that was always the big goof, somebody had whipped their dick out. Would that happen a lot with you? A mutual friend of ours

used to do it quite a bit. I do remember that. Yeah, yeah, quite a bit he used to do it. But was that anyone else would do that, though? no it wasn't like a regular thing but like i remember like another another fan of this podcast i got a festival he liked to go streaking he'd like he'd whip take off all his clothes and he'd have a guitar like and he'd just have the guitar covering his genitals and he'd start running

around the you know campsite it was a better time wasn't it you know what i mean it was just it was silly fun in games now in retrospect yeah probably you know problematic or whatever but like when you're a teenager you don't even think about it in that respect what age was he uh he would have been maybe around 19 when he did that okay so of age as well yeah of age yeah but like he never like went grabbing on anyone or anything like that you know wasn't hard yeah that's what he can't tell with the guitar yeah exactly yeah yeah that's what it's so good about it anyway but look i'm just saying like i never did i never the confidence to yeah me neither it's meant to be funny taking your cock out imagine if you bomb yeah exactly

imagine bobbing with your cock out your cock and you have to like just put a back in. Like your flaccid, shriveled cock. Yeah, got to hold it back in with silence. There's like someone coughing. Yeah, yeah. Just a tumbleweed going past your dick. Yeah, it wouldn't be a good feeling.

But that mutual friend of ours used to do it a lot. Like, I don't think he does it anymore. Well, like, yeah, it's not like he was doing it in front of, you know, while giving speech to the BAFTAs or he wouldn't do it at women. It was just like to the lads. Just when you're tied up. Huh? We're just with us when we're tied up.

And that's grands. With a ball gag. But anyway. Look, I'm just saying And that's sort of like And that's what seems like with John Barrowman It seems like that They're all buddies

Like a silly, funny You know, oh, jackass dirty Sanchez kind of way But that's the thing Men, we just didn't even contemplate how That would make a woman uncomfortable,

you know what I mean? Why should I care? Well, I don't know Because they feel Like I'm just saying If you're filming Doctor Who You're doing God's work here Yeah

And if someone wants Take their cock out Yeah, just grin and bear it, take one for the team I'm just saying like he's a gay guy He's not going to do anything to you Hopefully He might like run up on the lads And you know, try to do stuff to the end

Yeah, maybe Should support that Yeah, yeah Are you a Doctor Who fan or not But yeah, look I'm just saying He actually He talked about that in Doctor Who magazine actually

Whipping his dick out Yeah, I remember he taught And they got complaints in the magazine Really? Yeah, because people are like My gay son reads this And he doesn't need to hear any more about this He gets too excited

Yeah, yeah well look again I think it is just a product of its time lads didn't realize how bad it was to whip your dick out as a funny prank but now we know it's bad so so what I don't know if am I supposed to change my way of life

well we've never done it so like but again that's a confidence thing as opposed to like a morality thing I'd love to do it I wish I could I need Dr. Ike to help me yeah yeah wish I had the balls say, we're so it's

interesting what happens with Noel Clark and he's still doing cameo yeah oh no I'm wrong

he got kicked off cameo oh and McDormit's on cameo yeah no it's no connection no connection

there the white Noel Clark the white posh Noel Clark the most evil thing

I can think of the white Noel Clark one fam allow it my slime yeah

what are we on time what are we at you check there Yeah, we're just at an hour there Okay I think we'll wrap I like

Because the last few times We've been recording They've been going like way over Yeah I think that's not way over They don't deserve more of us Yeah yeah I think

Let's keep them hungry Hungry Hung for more So let's Let's wrap open one little thing Do One little thing What else you got

Oh tell you what You got very excited We watch We've separately We both watch Bad Grandpa Oh dirty grandpa Oh yeah dirty grandpa

I get those two mixed up all the time But Robert De Niro Yeah That's our recommendation of the week. Don't listen to some fucking stupid podcast with people with issues. Yeah, or fucking, yeah, Mark Kromo's like, it was an absolutely vile piece of cinema, a complete attack on the senses, grotesque.

Like, no, if you want to see De Niro jerking off the porn, wanting to bang 12, no, what is it? Aubrey Plaza, who is so hot in that film, holy shit. Yeah, she's great. I'll tell you what, something about her banging nose, man. Man, it's so good. So hot. Yeah.

Because it gives you that hopes, like, maybe when I'm 80, a sexy 22-year-old will bang me. You know, the way they have blacked raw. They should have elderly raw. What is the thing? Old guy, young girl? Yeah. I've heard. It's so great.

But yeah, and then, like, fucking De Niro's just like saying racist, homophobic shit all the way through. It's great. Yeah. Well, it's not a good film, but it's a lot of fun. Oh, it's definitely not a good film. You know what? There's actually kind of hints of a good film You're like, I wish Lord and Miller

or someone good could have made this into something because, you know. Yeah, Zach Efron is kind of like, it's not even not bad enough to be good. Yeah, do you know what it is? And the whole thing is like

Zach Ephron is like the weird, like nerdy guy is like, but he's fucking like a shredded beefcake. I mean, he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Yeah, he's so human life. Yeah, yeah. No, he's extra human.

Makes me sick. But did he, he, he just got surgery, did he? I said he got his jaw. The rumor is he got his jaw. He was like, I'm not good enough. Yeah, my jaw extended. You gotta love Hollywood that someone as fucking beautiful

Zach Ephron looks at himself in the mirror and thinks, I'm a worthless pig. I need to go under the knife. There's some world-class nagging going on in Hollywood. I mean, Dr. Reich. That's who's Dr. Reich's working for Zach Ephron saying, you're proud of yourself, you ugly fat pig. Where you can be like, hey, Zach Ephron,

put down the fork Hey buddy I got a movie for you A fridge too far Hey Yeah And then like You know Zach runs into the bathroom

Starts crying You're like See I'm helping his career Making himself sick This is how you help the young people Yeah yeah He just hooks a car battery up to his abs Take it you whore

Get better Shred it Yeah But no dirty grab buzz It's fun if you're stoned And not being attention yeah exactly but don't expect citizen

king it's no but Kermode was like it's worse than entourage than the entourage movie he said it's also

worse than movie 43 yeah which I really don't think anything could be worse than movie 43 Kmoe's got bad taste

I think yeah is movie 43 yes the anthology movie yes it's it's unwatchable at least

30 grandpa there's like a semblance of a film there you know but like movie 43 is just like

just take a bunch of dumb, underwritten, underdeveloped sketches that are just really like scatological or like, you know, crude humor. And it's just, the whole thing is so, I don't understand how they got all those A-listers to do. I think it's some kind of

tax thing. Tax thing. Like, some money laundering thing. Look, you can either do more movie 43 or do swimming with spastics with dolphins. It's a new charity of set up. And they're like, which one makes me more sick? Now, can I put my finger

and the spastics blowhole, yeah, of course you can't. They're not coming back. Most of them can't swim. We're just going to say it was a bad accident, you know. But yeah, that's my new charity. Swimming with spastics with dolphins.

It's going to be huge. People are going to love it. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. When, like, dolphins blow water out of the blow hole, the spasics just drool out their mouth.

Anyway. Perfect. Perfect. Let's get some lasagna. We've earned it. We've done it. No, God. I'm all spent now.

The Patreon, I'm going to have to... Yeah. Oh, I'm going to have to get myself all psyched up again. You've got to get offensive now. Yeah, now I'm done with the PC bullshit. Come over to the Patreon if you want the real stuff. Yeah, this is like, you know, I had to tone down here. I had to sell out.

Yeah. This is Johnny Rotten when he did it a commercial for butter, you know? It's like, if you want the real punk rock, subscribe to the Patreon Your Majesty That was BBC 1 James Caird Turn over to see BBC 3 James Cair

Oh yeah Bar with a bar to bang to bag Diggy Dicking And then it's BBC 4 James Cairns Are you talking about canals Well the Yorkshire Canal Was a very interesting story actually It was a bunch of plebs

Got together and shit in a bucket And I came along with lots of money And thought What if we put a boat on that. Who is it? Oh, it's E4, can.

What going on and ting I mean with my main man, Noel Clark and his mad bitch is talking wow shit about my fam he's so nonsense

brov man's well on the glizzy you get me them suss fam, yeah? Suss, brov. Yeah, so head over to Patreon.

For all that and more subscribe to the video Oh, it's BBC Chinese. No, no, stop. Patreon, save it. Yeah.

Okay, everyone, thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Bye. Goodbye.