Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 119 : Cock Destroying Midsommar

Episode Date: June 13, 2021

Hungover Midsommar party you little sluts.

And you're on. Okay, let's get this over with. Let's turn the shit out. You know it's going to be good episode. You're like, just looked at the clock already, being like, how many seconds have we done so far? Well, me and James aren't feeling so great. I'm feeling great. Really?

Are you talking about? No, of course not. You've had your second wins. Yeah. You were out there jogging. Doing push-ups. Yeah, no. In front of the local kids.

Yeah. You see that? You see that? This is what a winner looks like kids. Eat your greens, kids. You can end up like this. Don't run. Where are you going?

Get back here. Come on. I'm like Leon the professional. But I'm not a frog, so it's cool to like me. Yeah. So it's a, it's Sunday afternoon. Yeah. Now, you arrived here Friday afternoon.

It is now Sunday afternoon and you're still here. Much like a cancer. I have entered into your house. Burrowed in like the little tick that you are. You stayed. just lighting down in the sofa just making a mess Really yeah

I really sweated into that sofa To give a big context okay So me and James Had a bit of a wild night Friday night Yeah yeah And I was so hung over then I literally was paralysed for all of Saturday

I had never seen you that hungover But I had never seen you that drunk either Yeah You were shit face Well in fairness It's actually not my fault Because one An unnamed roommate

well an unnamed an accomplice of yours was making cocktails and he's very generous with the mixes. Very, yeah, he was, we were having a cocktail tonight for Leanne's birthday and there was, so we're a few people around having drinks

and yeah, the drinks were very heavy or strong, very strongly mixed, so big generous measures. And I'm such a nice guy, you know, he kept making me drinks, not going to be like, no, I don't want to drink. I had to drink at all and just down it.

So I'm cool. yeah yeah like immediately you just had that doubt you was like balushy in animal house just down the bottle of jack daniels and i was the life of the party you were remember when i smashed that glass and i put it up against someone's troll and i started crying down i'm not fucking gay and we didn't believe him yeah i think we were right to not believe it no i remember having a fun time you said i was talking a little about football you were like here's the thing now you were very very drunk now you weren't like embarrassing or making a fool of yourself or doing or saying anything bad. Good. So you got no

to worry about. So you haven't seen the real me. Yeah, yeah. You hit it very well. Yeah. I didn't go full you, Kip.

Well, save that for the Patreon. But now, you were like talking like and so we'd be like to be a few of us talking was like oh yeah,

that new film. Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah, yeah. And then like nobody would even ask you a question and you just are going, yeah,

the Ferguson documentary doesn't really show. how you would just like chime in like halfway through like kind of you start the sentence in your head then midway through start speaking the sentence out loud and then go back to saying it in

your head it was very choppy it's your job to put the pieces together it was like mad libs like a retard mad libs like a piss head well I was enjoying myself yeah that's good and as well I haven't drank in like months yeah well you weren't the

only one everyone was very very drum It was a drunken night Yeah, yeah It was a messy good drunken night I'm glad to hear I didn't attack anyone Or get sexual Yeah, yeah So even it shows

Even when you're fully Uninhibited You're still a coward Yeah You're still a little coward Yeah, still just like Will I rape someone No, I'll just talk about Fergie

Uh yes So yeah So I was just paralysed And here's the thing I wasn't like Like badly hungry over like I've been worse hungover this was like

a hungover level that just stayed with me for hours it wasn't like it's bad you throw up a few times you eat a roll in your grand this is like am I okay there's multiple times I was like I think I'm okay

and then I'd like stand up and like oh no am I dying I got sick like three times yeah we'll see man cocktails it's like you're mixing spirits a lot and there was beer on the go-to

so you're mixing the alcohols But then there's a lot of like sugary drinks and, you know, juices and fruity stuff. It's a lot of sugar as well. So it just, it fucks you up the next day, man, you know? Man, I, uh, I had that terrible experience. You know when you think you want to get sick? Yeah. And you're walking to the bathroom and then you put your hand to your mouth and then you kind of feel it.

Yeah. Come, reaching your hand. Yeah. Oh, God. And then you shit yourself. Like, oh, that was a surprise. I hold it in. I'm like, well, that's the problem solved in.

Oh. My nose starts bleeding. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, you were very, very hungover. I wasn't too bad, though. But you're an old road dog. That's true. I'm basically a little virgin.

Yeah, it's like you're drinking with the big boys now, Tuller. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to keep up. Yeah. End up just on the ground going like, West Ham. Yeah, so it's Sunday and you're still here. I'm still here. Boy, I'm going to leave soon.

I haven't changed my socks in ages. Yeah. I haven't brushed my teeth in ages. well you know yeah that's right ladies that's the good thing about shay cadden you can do that and nobody notices my friend

I do like the way as well a lot of your other roommates went home this weekend as well as if they're like it's probably for the best we just evacuate the house yeah and they made the right call because we had a real bro down there

yesterday you know we were ordered pizza and started watching bro movies man you couldn't get any broier like you know all the women, they were like, ooh, toxic

masculine, they're talking about us, all right? We're eating pizza and watching house. Watching clips of House and Love Island. Watching Dr. House with his zingers, taking down. What were some of the things he said? Black

people are stupid? Yeah. That's literally a quote from Dr. House. Don't come at me. That's him. Yeah, and he's a doctor. Where's your medical degree? But no, yeah, that's literally. Now, obviously, there's a context to it that I'm not going to go to. Yeah, he was being sarcastic, but like you try

you try using that excuse now. Like, I was being sarcastic. Yeah. When I went to a Black Lies Matter rally and I said that I was having a little jape. Yeah, yeah. I had a K and I'm surprised they didn't pick up on the goof. I don't want to be mean here, but I did have

friends who like were big in the house. Yeah. And looking back in it, I'm kind of like, oh, you just liked him because he was a bit of a dick. Yeah. And you wanted to be the kind of snarky doctor. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't think that's exclusive to your weirdo spastic friends.

But, like, everybody kind of, that's the, that was the popularity of the show, because everybody wants to be the... We all want to say black people are stupid. Everyone, literally everyone wants to say that. Tony Hugh Laurie had the balls. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, everybody wants to be the kind of very intelligent, snarky asshole who pops Vicod in and lips around. And when his, when his boss shows up in a low-cut top, he's like, hey, nice fun bags bitch yeah you know it's like everybody wants to be that guy and you can be that's

what i'm telling you this is a dedication with that you need to self-actualize yourself into a sexist racist vicodin addict we should actually give a little bit context for the black people are stupid thing no there's actually you're oh well no go out there's a thing called targeted medicine yes and that's the idea that different races are different okay stay with me okay is that black people are more prone to diabetes let's say and then you make some kind of joke about white people and they're prone to not being able to dance there we go Tuller's back

I was like how's he going to dig himself out of this one but he did it one failed stoop you are watching a pro here folks a master of his craft pay attention there we go so they're trying to give this black patient a type of medicine that's made for black people Yeah.

And he's, you know, like, I ain't taking that shit. Because why are he trying to kill me? Yeah, why are you on the moon? You know, pharmaceutical corporations trying to kill the black man. Yeah. And then doctor... I mean, Tuskegee experiments there, you know. Yeah, but Dr. House, like, yeah, well, from my experience in the last 19 seconds,

all black people are stupid. Yes. And the black man respects that. Yeah. You tell it like it is, Doc. When a British man pretend to be American calls me stupid, I respect that. And that's why it won so many. Emmys.

You get a lymie fuck coming over here pretending to be a yank being racist to a black man who's sick. There's another scene I watch That's Emmys

You went to bed by kept watching it for another six hours There's a great bit in it where like He's looking at some kid Look at the kid's medical details Okay and he's like

Oh your son hasn't been vaccinated And the mother's like A real like Uh we don't believe in vaccination Yes Because the pharmaceutical corporation Is trying to take down The Black Man

yeah and also the white kids as well yeah and then doctor house is like oh yeah you're right yes hey your kid has a toy that's fun you know what else is fun children's coffins and the mother's like oh no give me the vaccine now yeah yeah and you know what that's a bit i'll say that's a bit of a lazy one like when you know he's got some good zingers but that one uh wasn't very organic felt a bit contrived, you know? He should have just said, yeah, well, black people are stupid. Yeah, so, Dr. House, I never really watched it. I wasn't into it, and after watching those clips,

I think I made the right choice. And then, this morning, we're like, that's enough house now. We need to, like, level off a bit. Yeah. We were watching Modern Family. Oh, yes. Modern Family. See, only season 11. That's when it got good. Yeah, yeah.

Season 11, that's insane. It's finished. now, though, right? It's over now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, God. They really drained every little bit of milk from that Mexican woman. Yeah, my big ditties, sir. Yeah, they're another very, uh, they won a lot of Emmys, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hurt, yeah. Seems like everything we don't like is

just wins lots of Emmys and they're all wrong. Yeah, they are all wrong. Boy, are they going to feel foolish when they hear this podcast? Oh, yes. modern family there was a massive cast Even as a kid I remember seeing that There's too many people there

They can't spin all those plates Yeah So there was the two gay guys And one's fake gay Yeah one's pretending to be gay Stolen Valor Yeah so he's like We were joking downstairs

That like he has a like He has to like vomit Every now and again When they haven't do the case Were we? I don't remember that Oh yeah Oh no no you're right

You're right I was joking about And then you just had your head In your hands I was like Oh Brian For shame but yeah yeah so you know it's a very popular show

well you know what just annoyed me about it is like the the real sweet sweetness wholesome like oh we're all a family and we love each other it always ends with a hug yeah no like a real family isn't it yeah look a family that big where is the heroin addict where is the sex offender where is the suicide the person who kills like you have a family that big You know, you're going to... There's going to be about nine members

we don't talk about. Yeah, exactly. It's too painful. Where's the school shooter? The little white kids should have been a Columbine fucker, you know? That would be hilarious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, another thing I noticed, so I would watch, like, later episodes that did have guest stars in it, but they wouldn't even try. Really? So, like, it's like, hey, Shaq, what are you doing here?

Well, I was driving by and I heard these kids are playing basketball. I heard a fat Mexican kid was playing basketball. Oh, maybe I'm going to... No, why does Shaq sound like Stallone? He's trying something different. Shack's doing impressions now.

Or like I showed you that other clip, remember, where it's like, hey, Courtney Cox and David Beckham, what are you doing here? Is that in Modern Family? Oh, yeah. What was that about it? And they're playing themselves. Yeah, just like...

Who was the context of that? They're just like, oh, we're doing the charity thing and we thought we'd pop boys. There's having a little charity thing and we thought we'd pop boy. that rap, Courtney Cox. It sure is, David Beckham. Oh, God.

I have multiple personality disorder because Jennifer Edison was sexier than me. Well, sounds like you have a lot of problems. My vision is dedicated challenges it to you. You're fucking mental bitch. Yeah.

Terrible. Just awful. Why am I being? It's shite. Modern family is shite. It's gone. They had one joke that made me laugh, though. No, it didn't. No, I think, I'll tell you what. I quit the podcast.

Let's put money down right now. Right, okay. If you can admit this is a funny joke, all right? How much money do I have to give you? You can bend me over right now. Okay. Yeah, okay. Oh, I forgot on it.

Oh, it's like, Jesus sounds great. No, no, no. It's Cam and some other gay guys, all right? And he's holding a big flag, all right? Right. And then what's the ginger game? Guy. So then

Ginger guy. Ginger guy is like okay everyone follow the big flag and Cam's like what do you call me? Ah yes Yeah

that's good so you know 11 seasons it would worth it for that sometimes you know you gotta you gotta dig through the dirt

before you get the gold it is funny like the idea of like a writer who's like I have this really funny flag fag joke all right but I can't just say it

I need to okay, I'll backtrack here, all right? Yeah, let's reverse engineer this a little bit. We'll do six seasons of Mexican woman yelling. Yeah. And then I'll get them gold. God, they really, uh, it's, does she, I don't know, is there kind of a conception that, like, she thinks she's funny or whatever? Like, she gets up there's like, oh, yeah, no, I went to the parent-teacher meeting, but everyone looked at my t-tees.

Oh, Gloria, you know, fucking border jumping. bitch. Jump on my dick, you whore. Jay really near the end he was always sitting down. Didn't even move his neck for a lot of things. Yeah, just sitting down drinking a glass of scotch just like

just climb on top of me and do what you want. Make manny watch. Yeah. But yeah, so, no, I'm not a fan, I'm sorry. Yeah. Apologies to all the modern family fans who are listening to this podcast. The fanatics. Yeah.

yeah so we did that any other crazy stuff we got up to it's literally just been us me on a couch for like yeah 24 hours you just paralyzed on a couch it's funny as well I just took the whole couch no one else can sit down on it that's true you just spread out on the couch and like people would come in and they'd have to sit on like on the ground yeah while I'm just on the couch wanking it's okay I have a hangover so it's allowed how long do you could like milk that where like it's it's day I'm still like, oh, the cocktails. I still feel dizzy.

Yeah, yeah. Well, if anyone could do it, Brian, I'm sure you could. Yes, I'm going to take up the challenge. But would it be even more of a challenge if it's a stranger's house? Yeah, I'd just break into a family's house at Christmas Eve. They come downstairs, I'm on their tree, being like, oh, the cocktails were hard. Evan made strong cocktails. I also, I stole all your Optimus primes.

oh yeah yeah it was yeah but I'm feeling better now yeah you're better now yeah I'm going to dry I'm very sweaty though even when you were talking

I can feel sweat it's quite warm it's a the weather's been warm but whatever yeah they're not listening to this for our weather report

well we're well the only reason we're here yeah is because we got some more spooky movies yes I told you it's the summer

of spooky movies it is spooky summer yeah so we've got two right here. Yeah. The movies of Ari Astar. Yeah.

Is it Ari Aster? Whatever. Ari Ashole. Yeah. Yeah. Just call him Jerry. All right. So this guy, he's directed two films, Hereditary and Midsummer.

Yes. And I taught, you'll be interesting if we go through them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And look at the connections between the two. Are there connections? There's a lot connections. Okay. You can call them connections of purpose.

purpose are just him being lazy and just doing the same shit again. Yeah, yeah, true. But before we talk about the two films, you want to quickly just... So he did a short film called The Strange Case of the Johnsons. Yes, about a black family in the suburbs and it starts off

the son's masturbating and the dad catches some, but the dad's like, oh, it's okay, son, it's natural, don't feel bad. You see, the thing about it is, young man, the hormones in your body you feel very sexual. Yes. So the dad's like, don't worry, it's natural masturbating.

Then the dad leaves. And then it's revealed that the son was masturbating over a picture of his dad. Yeah. And thus, a street deer, you're like, I'm intrigued. I'm in. Hey, you had me at a hello. Finally, a movie I can relate to. So then as it goes on, the son gets older and just continues to violently rape the father

who's just turned into a little, just a little jizz rag for his teenage son. And yeah, it goes on and on. on and it's the wedding day and he's raping his dad he's just raping constantly well the thing about this you do the rape and my father is there is a very sexy

athletic man oh you tell me how to spend quality time with my pop so it's his so it's a student film that got him attention all right and if you want to get attention like black guy raping his dad perfect I mean come on

like I mean that's a sure fire Those are the stories Hollywood was built on. Yeah, that's the Joseph Campbell right there, okay? The hero's journey. So what do you, so we were discussing this earlier. Yeah. I have the notion that Ariasdar is more just like

an edge lord who knows how to dress it up and make it look all nice. Obviously, it's very shocking, right? It's a shocking thing. But like the way it's executed, it's fucking stupid. Like, it's really dumb. But it is good.

It is good for what it is Like for first student film I don't know Maybe I just like I just find it really funny Like that's me I'm a fucking piece of shit Whatever But like yeah for me I wasn't like I was very taken out of it

It just didn't feel real It felt like kind of like a Hyper realism or something I don't know You know what's funny I've watched this film like seven times Today Yeah seven times today

Cause what I would do a lot is If I was at a party Yeah and like if you look kind of like it's not like fully kicked off yeah we're just kind of watching shit I'd be like guys let me take you on a journey

and I played that everyone sit down shut up stop talking and I played that and I'd have great enjoyment looking around everyone's faces and they weren't happy

and I was like this is great and then you're like hey guys how about a game of spin my bottle yeah who wants to be daddy here's some shoe polish

who wants to be daddy Yes, yes. But I do think you could make the argument that it's about the way like, there's a lot of incest and families and people can ignore it even when it's very obvious and then he made it the dad just for the attention of it, you know? Yeah.

And to make you think you think a bit more. Sure. You could say that. Yeah. But I think it's also like, dude, what have you been dead? Yeah, I mean, like, I think even the way like it's executed isn't great, you know? It's kind of like, it comes off like kind of, I don't know,

lynch. esk and that it's very there's a surreal element that I don't think is intentional I think it's just a funny kind of horror element as well like a bit where he's kicking the door down in the stuff

and the sun's like screaming while he's getting cornholed by his boy well irregardless of what we think it got attention it did well look don't get me of course it's a great as you said it's a great

way of getting people's attention I mean it certainly did that But yeah, all right If you want an elevator pitch Go, that's it No, I'm just saying If you want to pitch Yeah, okay

That's just how it is Yeah, yeah But so from there He went on to his next movie Hereditary Hereditary Which was an insane hit It was big

People loved it It was the biggest film The studio Would ever had at the time A24 Yeah yeah Which is surprising More like gay

24 Yes, nailed it In the bag Cadden for the win Which is the problem I'm just going to ignore that No No, no, let's...

I don't want to burn bridges, all right? Back to black people are stupid. Oh, the only black people that aren't stupid are the ones that rape their fathers. I'm putting that on wax right now. Imagine it's trying to be like, what's wrong with that? Oh, sorry, do you not like science? Isn't it kind of weird the way you can get banned

for like denying the vaccine, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, AstraZeneca is good, but I can't say that. Hmm. Funny old words. world, isn't it? The shoe fits. Yes, it does.

But anyway, so... So, he made hereditary. Yeah. And this got, like, Scorsesee loved it. Everyone loved this film. And I liked it at the time. I liked it. I enjoyed it.

There were a few bits where I laughed out loud when I shouldn't have. Which, no, I do think there's an element of, like, yeah, he did that on purpose. Yeah, okay. Yeah, well, you got... The timing stuff on it. I think it is a little bit of him being like, dude, let's include this. Yeah. But I'll trick people.

I'll trick that dumb old Scorsese fool. in thinking it's a good film. Take that, you old blind bitch. But, yeah, I did like Hereditary a lot. Okay. And I was like,

this is a great first feature-length film. Yeah. And then I watched Mid-Summer, midsummer made me like, re-evaluate hereditary. And I was kind of like, have I been duped here. Ah, you've been swindled.

So I kind of have, like, you know, you find out your girlfriend's cheating on you. Yes. And then all the good memories in the past were like, oh, was she banging him then? Well.

At my dad's funeral. Did she sneak off for a quickie in the bushes? Bet she did. Yeah, and they were a laugh on the whole time. Ah, ha, ha, ha, cadden the fucking loser. So I kind of trust issues now what Ari asked there. Okay.

So, I tell you, he can win me, I'll tell you, Ari, here's the challenge, all right? You can win me over with your next film, or you can put the final coffin in the grave. Does that make sense? Yeah. Put the final nail in the coffin of, that's the one. Nail in the coffin of the kettle. Yeah. Nail in the coffin of the kettle calling you black and stupid.

as the old saying goes. But hereditary, I think, there is, there is something to it. Yeah, okay. And the acting, you can't deny the acting's very good. Tony Colette. She's great. And she's Australian as well, which is, you know, fair play to her. Yeah?

For, like, overcoming that. I hate hereditary is fucking mental. Of course, a little of fucking doses. She's a little space equals something. Lul. Yeah. So hereditary starts off, right? Right.

A woman is sad. Oh, here we go Oh, the poor cats A woman is sad Break out the violin Yeah The woman's sad Because her mother has died

And it seems like her mother Had mental health issues All right And it might got passed on to her What's it called Being a woman Score one for the bros No cure for that lads

You know what me Yeah you want to cure that You need a hot beef injection Love Take two of these And kill me in the moon Oh, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, yes, yes. Okay, she's married to Gabriel Byrne in the film,

who does a nice little understated performance. Yeah, true. Gabriel Byrne is good, sometimes worried that he's, like, going to be homeless, you know? It's good to see him working. You know, ah, God, what is he... I kind of go back and forth and Gabriel Byrne's like, he's good. I mean, that delivery right there wasn't, you know, particularly convincing, but I like him

but he's Irish you know I do hate the way Irish people are so much like yeah oh but you gotta support him

you know you know fair play to him now yeah yeah he knows how to read a script he was doing

the big film with the Kevin Spacey man you know before he was falutin the young fellas eh

so it's great to see it but yeah he hasn't done that much yeah great he was in

in treatment yeah where he plays like a psychiatrist tries to talking to mentalids. Yeah, and then they replace, there's a new in-treatment now, but Gabriel Byrne's a black woman.

Ah. So, you know people talk about diversity, all right, how it's good. Do you ever think about Gabriel Byrne? Yeah, yeah. I mean, he's just an old Irish white man. I mean, that's the real minority we should be worried about.

So she's married to Gabriel Byrne, and she's a miniature artist. Right. That's a job now, is it? I think if you're like a rich, New York, you know, well-to-do person, you can have that job like the, you know, the kids

that, like, live off being an artist in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Yeah, do like an artist, and it's like, yeah, I've been working on this installation for the last six years. I'm going to get to eventually, but I'm kind of living my life right now, and every day is like an art piece in a way, man. I'm finding out who I am.

I think the artists must live the life before they speak on what life really is. Yeah, my dad pays my rent. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've been to rehab six times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been doing this for six years, and I'm pretty sure I'm just an annoying guy who, like, fucks a lot of girls, fucks a lot of girls who then start crying afterwards, but it's probably their fault. I want to stress this again, in this state of New York, 17 is the age of consent. Yes, I have checked, okay? I have checked rigorously. I always, I, every day I just refresh the page online just to make sure they don't change it, because you're not going to get. catch me on. Ain't got to catch me

slipping. So I'm pretty sure I'm an artist that fucks a lot of young girls and does a lot of coke. But I'm not sure so any under six years

of living this lifestyle just to know. Yeah, I'll be 40 next week. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your point? Yeah. Got a problem with it.

I'm like Van Wilder. The machine. Yeah. Oh, my God. Artsy, Bert Kreischer. Oh, art student, Bert Kreisher. Wow. Hipster Kreishter.

Yeah, yeah. Instead of performing with his shirt off. He performs wearing a shirt but naked from the waist down. It's like, I'm an artist, guys, okay? Andy Warhol would love this. Yeah, she's a miniature artist.

I call myself Andy Cornhole. Hey, come on now. Who could be angry at that? Now, I think, already, she's already a bit wrong in the head, I think, this lady, and any artist, I think, is wrong, all right? Right. And here's, this is dumb, right?

So she has a son and a door. Yeah. Sun is, like, high school. probably going to graduate soon kind of good looking guy good looking Jewish guy yeah yeah yeah kind of rocks my boat you know yeah sure

and then the girl not so much she's uh is she she meant she's talented is she she's got a great person but she doesn't actually bitch doesn't say two words and she're like real quiet and weird she's real quiet yeah

is she now what's the thing is she ugly or is she a bit bleh no no I think she's like all she's all there like because she does musicals and stuff okay so you know you need to remember the tap dance

and stuff. Yeah, I don't remember that at all. No, no, in real life. Oh, okay, right. In real life, the girl does musical. She's a Broadway kind of girl. Okay. This was like her first film.

No, I meant the characters. The character, I think, is just a, you know, you know what girls are like back then. We've all seen them. Sure. You know, we've all investigated. So I think she's just like an awkward girl. Right. And the mother's like, oh, my son's going to a party with loads of like 18 year, 17, 18 year olds.

Bring the, bring your sister along. as well. Yeah. Yeah. What are you just the sister again, sorry? Like 13. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't seem like a good environment for her. Yeah, the mother's like... Hello, I think the mother's like, come on, let's be honest. She'll be safe, you know, anyone...

I mean, like, anyone who's willing to have a pop with that, you know, God bless them, good luck to them. And I wish she gave them a badge or something, you know? Yeah. I want to stress the girl in real life, I think, is a nice person. Okay. Yeah. I always feel bad making fun of kids, you know? All right.

Well, I'll do what, I'll do it. Oh, look at that. You already just sold me up the river there. I'll do it off air, of course. I'll throw rocks at them, you know, because they deserve it because they're pigs. All right. I did betray you. Yeah, she's a cunt.

She's a whore, slow, little pig. Yes. Yes. Let's leak her nudes. Yeah, let's. Oh. So they go to the party, all right? Yeah.

And things don't really go. There's like a wee brownie going around. It's got weed and nuts in it Oh And she's allergic to nuts And psychotropic drugs And having a good time Yeah

And chilling out So she eats the cake Yeah Okay which you know You know like Adam and Eve With the apple you know Yeah Yeah

She's false was it Yeah She eats the cake And she has like a bad reaction Okay It's a bad mix Of like allergic reaction And white

And I pull in the whitey At the same time It's not a good It's not fun And the brother's trying to get his leg over with some buds Yeah, he's got a nice little piece in it, a right little shorts

Yeah, but he can't, he's got to drive this one to the emergency room, because she's like all hyperventilating and stuff like that, her eyes are bugging. She's really killing the boot here, she's a bull's kill. Yeah, yeah, so he's driving her home, okay, and he's like, hey, don't put your head out the window. And what does she do? What'd she do? Wouldn't you know?

Little fucking Dennis the menace over here. You won't believe this. Yeah, she puts her head out the window, Right. And then I think they see like a, sort of like a cow or a sheep on the road or something like that. So he swerves, there's a telephone post, telephone pole, her head gets knocked off.

Right. And I thought this was a very real scene. He sees this, just drives home, just goes to bed. Really? Yeah. Man, I don't remember this film at all. I only saw it once in the cinema and I was really high. Yeah, it's a great scene.

Yeah. He just drives home, he's just in shock. He just goes to bed, but doesn't go sleep, he's just lying in bed. And then isn't there a hard? cut. No, before that, you hear the mother going like, Hello, what's going? Nah!

Oh! Oh! And the son's like, I'm totally going to be grounded for this. Oh, no, I'm not going to get to go to the third base with Stacy and prom. Because my mom's being a bitch. And he just like hits play. Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort. Yeah, yeah.

She lost her head. Now I won't. be getting any heads. Oh, nice, nice. We'll workshop that a bit. There's something there. There's something there. We're going to spend hours on.

I'm not going home tonight. This needs to be done. Call your parents up and said, I'm doing the Lord's work, creating my masterpiece. So you're right, you're right, though. So you hear the screaming from Tony Collette, and it's a hard cut of her head just on the road. A decapitated head on the road with like a stupid face, and I'm like, and there's flies crawling on it and it's like the music like jumps as well

so it's a big jump right it's a jump hard cut to an extreme close up of her big stupid head decapitated on the road but I think though there is a thing of like when you get decapitated it doesn't look artsy it looks stupid

I think that's almost like the indignity of it yeah so when that happened that hard cut happened in the cinema like I did burst out laughing and not in a who fuck you edge lord way I was kind of high

and I was surprised it you know because it's a it's a hard cut it's surprising it's unexpected yeah it's like a jump thing and I started laughing

and people around me like looked at me and it's like those people are wrong yeah and you know what you should just pull out a gun right there and then

I shut up but like there is something I do have this feeling of like dying in a very indignant kind of in a silly dumb way yeah

and just like oh that's that's gonna be last thing the final humiliation yeah like i'd say i'd fall off a building and something goes up my ass yeah yeah or that guy who died by getting fucked in the ass by a horse yeah i mean that's pretty i mean that's that doesn't look good that's not a good epitaph on a gravestone you know it's kind of yeah it's not the best way it's not it's not like dying in war saving orphans yeah yeah it's how he wanted to go do you ever watch that documentary about him no there's a

documentary i think they talk to his kids and stuff and like well dad was a character her. He loved animals. I don't remember this and Dr. Doolittle. He couldn't talk to him. That was the problem. Yeah, I do remember

there was some terrorist attack and I saw on Reddit there was a picture of like one of the victims of it and it was like, it was just like she was lying down like her head was smashed and I think she'd been shot in the chest

but she was like lying in like a funny way like her leg was just sticking up yeah yeah someone please put the leg down at least like yeah what would you remember what terrace attack it was i think it was a london one oh yeah i think she'd been hit by the bus right right but it just looked like just like just like just all kind of crumpled up like a fucking rag doll yeah it's like that's yeah like a raggedy ann yeah yeah it's just like it's just a bit sad you got a chuckle out of that did you toller no i didn't you laugh didn't no no i didn't i sick sick man i closed the computer down put my cock away like a gentleman For a couple seconds I was like Who am I trying

to impress? Yeah Anyway So yeah So the So the little girl Got decapitate it Yeah

And fucking Tony Collette doesn't take it She's a bit Fucking You know She's in a mood Now is it Oh she's got

The Omp Gabriel Burns Got to deal with this Yeah I like in the film As well It's kind of Gabriel Burns

The practical one Being like Look she's dead Yeah Come on We don't know I wanted Home Office

So now we could Remod her bedroom her bedroom, you know. I can get one of those standing up desks. I think that could help with my sciatica, you know, every cloud

and all that. He's trying to look to the bright side, you know, and she's like, my daughter's dead. You know, just the whole time.

You know, they're trying to... Well, my blad is all over the sight in my Jeep. It's a bit of... It's been a rotten die. Like, they're just trying to eat dinner, okay, and Gabriel Burns, like,

oh, these are nice potatoes. And she's like, well, she liked potatoes. And now she's dead Oh I told you we should have ordered in tonight Yeah

And she She kind of resents the son Now Yeah Yeah It's true It's like I'm not mad I'm just disappointed

That you murdered Our daughter By being a reet I know She's been real passive aggressive About it Like she'd be like

Oh Yeah You know Your sister What happened To her Would you remember Do you remember

What happened To her son Do you? Mom Where's my Where's my new jeans Oh Don't lose your head

over its son we'll find them yeah she's doing she'll laying it on thick with that she's like she'll say like oh son did you get any head last night she lost her head I miss your sister you know she in when it came to academic she was head and shoulders above

the rest eh you know mom you're really laying it on sick with these this is your Edinburgh show is it and we all have to pretend you're brave yeah she did like an online comedy writing course so she's like she's slowly going insane basically she's kind of like seeing things and she's kind of like you know

she's not doing well and she goes like a grief counselling kind of group you know right the people other people who have been affected by grief yeah and she kind of starts suspecting that there's ghosts around this is completely not funny and it derails the entire thing but what if somebody showed up to the grief council is like oh yeah people just keep giving me grief and work you know just keep giving me grief like

Ah, Johnson, your silly tie is like, and then there's someone's like, oh, my daughter's dead. Yeah, I've got the hump. Yeah, fucking, I work in an office all right. Just let me put me stapler and jello. Yeah. No, so that was not funny.

It was not worth derailing the podcast, but I... No, jumping it, man. I stand by it. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. That's right. Wayne Gretzky. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Now, I've got nothing. That's the thing. I'm spinning my wheels here. I've got nothing. Don't worry, man. I'm going to stay. saved the day. Okay. Back to the notes. Back to the notes. Good thing I wrote this

all down. Yeah, yeah. Just sitting there writing it all down, not blinking. Okay, so she's seeing ghosts and shit. She starts thinking that like, oh, we can communicate with her. And she's kind of like going like, oh, the flashing lights, that means she's talking to us. She's probably big into astrology and shit as well. Mercury's in retrograde so my daughter can talk to me through a cabbage. Yeah, she's talking all this shit. And Gabriel Burns, like, oh good for you yeah very good now yeah i think i'm gonna go down and have a few pipes

and yeah i might just drive home and whatever happens happens you know might go for a swim yeah i love that stage of life when you when you get home your drink drive when you get home you're like damn oh maybe i left something at the pub i'll take the long way home this time yeah yeah that kind of windy road yes yeah yeah yeah yeah You just start, you just turn up the music. Here I go again on my own. So like fucking Gabriel Byrne has to humor her the whole time.

She's like, she's communicating with us. She's got a Ouija board. She's like, oh look, it's working. He's like, oh, good, good. Yeah, you're going to make dinner? I thought we could do red cabbage tonight. What do you think? Oh, the Ouija board.

I'll order pizza then. But the final straw is she's doing a new art. piece and it's all of her daughter getting decapitated. Really? Yeah, she's doing like a little miniature thing of like, oh look, look honey, look her head's rolling around it's very realistic isn't it?

Gabriel Burns like, oh fuck Oh, Jesus. I have all the birds I could have banged. You know, I got wanked off by Miriam O'Callaghan once. Oh God. Those were the days.

We've got to add something. That's what I was a young buck and thought I could achieve anything. Yeah, yeah. Me and Pat Kenny Eiffel Tower at Gabriel Burns' pool party. No, Gabe Byrne, fuck it up. Idiot Caden. Worthless Kant.

Yeah. Not even going to offend that. No, there's nothing to be saying. Go in the corner now. There's five minute. Penalty time goes to the sin bin. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so Gabriel Burns is getting annoyed with her.

But there's kind of like cult things or people are watching them, you know? Okay. It's like culty shit happening. all right and the sun is seeing things as well yeah I remember that bit in class yeah yeah yeah it's kind of freaking out he's a bad version of himself

yeah and he like he like kind of falls and hits his face on the desk yeah yeah yeah so then at the end I think she's got something like a book or something like that and she's like oh I've written down I forget exactly

and Gable Burns like go throw it in the fire will you okay and then she throws in the fire and he goes on fire Burks into flames I remember that. I think that was done on purpose to look a bit comedic It was quite

A bit silly It was silly I remember chuckling At that bit too Because he's running around They don't same Cunts judge you again No no no

I had my dick out this time So they dare not look Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Look into the eye Of the store my friend They saw that They saw him

They saw him go on fire And they heard the laugh And they were like Oh I'm gonna turn around Now and judge him They just feel something hard Against their neck And you're like

Oh I'm all ready, one more pump and I'm going to blow. Yes, yes. Yeah, so he goes up on fire and then all these naked cult people start walking around the house. Yeah, what's that about?

What was the call? Honestly, I thought maybe they were just like bill collectors or they were there for the TV license or something, you know? Hippies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so they're part of the support group, so it turns out this is all part of their plan.

Don't ask any questions why. Yeah, it's kind of one of those things like I'll just let it happen and if you can't really go Really? Does that not kind of seem Shut up, shut up, shut up Don't ruin the magic James Yeah, yeah Suspension of Disbelief

Extreme logic Oh cool Yeah, great Yeah, good That's fun isn't it But yeah so like the naked old people Are running around the house Yeah

And the sun is freaking out Alright And then he finds that like His mother's cutting her own head off Remember this? Was she cutting her own head off? Yeah, she hangs herself but she's still alive

and she's cutting her own head off and then he jumps out a window then he goes up a tree house and then they give him a crown and it turns out he's like the king of the cult and then he looks straight into the camera and smiles the end

which is kind of accept he's like the show that he's accepted the evil into him so well like he's a part of the cult now kind of thing he's like the king of the cult right okay yeah so that's I think the

the thing is that the mother was in the cult as well and this is all the thing the sun is the new Antichrist Oh Yeah so Good Yeah

Is this better than fast and furious Is it Tokyo drift I think not So that's hereditary Yeah A fun trip Yeah

It was good And like a lot of trips You're like That was fun Then at the end You're like Was it fun? Yeah

Yeah Best not to question Yeah Just go home And lie down Take some pills Don't think about it Just don't think

about anything ever again. Yes. So that was his first big film. Yeah. And then he followed it up with midsummer. No, I have not seen midsummer. Well, even better, I'll tell you.

Please. Mid-summer, it's three hours long. Okay. It definitely wasn't, this is definitely him, like, I'm going to get even weirder, do you. Yeah, this is like real artsy and out there, isn't it? Yeah, which is funny because he was basically given free reigns do whatever he wanted. Yeah.

So he made this kind of artsy, three hour long culty film with not that much interesting stuff in it. Right. But the studio. pushed it like it was gonna be next big thing yeah

like I was in America at the time and they were like pushing it like check out the new Spider Man far from home and also

midsummer two big movies the magic of the movies this summer like they were really pushing it like yeah you're an asshole

if you don't watch midsummer ah yeah so when did midsummer come out like 2019 19 right right and did it do well

was it like a success well here's the thing it did all Not as good box office wise are critical But a lot of dumb fucking women Well, no, also just bloggers, also gay guys And probably two straight guys who are trying to get some pussy as well

Wrote all these columns about like, it's actually a very It's a film about gaslighting and abusive relationships And toxic boyfriends And honey, I watched that, broke up my boyfriend the next day You know what I'm saying? joined a cult yes sir so I was a lot of also I got the sense

a lot of these columns were written before a film even came out you know people make up their mind about a film and then they just like watch the film

like okay I can I'll sub this in for that yeah yeah yeah yeah I get you so I don't think it's very good okay I think it's a bit shit here's the thing

it looks nice yeah and people are like and even like a lot of the people who are favorable for like yeah I mean the story isn't great

but it looks nice Why can't you do both? That surely is the objective here, is it not? Am I crazy? Am I the spoiled kid? Yeah But I do have a theory I think Ari, because he wrote this all himself

He also wrote hereditary And I think it's an ego thing Of like, no, I'm like Tarantino I'm going to write it, direct it I'm going to do it all myself Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll play all the characters I'll give myself a cameo work

I get to say the N-word. This is basically the clumps, all right? So I think it is like a kind of ego thing where, like, you look at Scorsesee. Like, he, like, he doesn't write his own shit. Yeah, true. He's a reason why we have screenwriters. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's...

Like, there's only a very select few people that can really pull off the writer-director thing. You know, whatever about kind of like a small budget indie film, but when you have something this big in scope and scale, you kind of need, you need a few cooks. You need a few eyes on it. You need somebody that can keep a kind of objectivity and be like, okay, I'm not sure this works. We need to do this. But like when it's the one person, like, this is my vision. I am an autore.

And everyone's been telling him, man, you're a genius. Yeah. You are literally Kubrick. Yes. Kubrick goes suck. I've actually, you know what? I dug up Kubrick's grave and I've pissed on it because he's worthless now. Yes.

Eyes wide shut. Yeah. Fuck that shit. Yeah. They were all like, you are the next best. You are the next big thing. Yeah. Everything you touch turns the gold.

Your Kubrick and Tarantino. If they fucked Scorsese and had you. If you're hearing all that, you're not going to be like, does this need a second draft? No. This is straight from the source, straight from the brain.

The touch of God. Yeah. So to get into the plot of the film, all right? It stars Florence Poo. Oh. Yeah, okay. Is that how you pronounce it or you being silly then? No, I'm not.

It's like, poo. Is it? It's not, I think it's like, people will be like, it's poo, not poo. Okay. It's like, like, P-O-O-U-G-H.

Okay. Or something like that. So, what's her name, Florence? Florence, Poo, yeah. Poo, yeah. But she's going to be next big thing, like.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to have to deal with her whether you like it or not. I have no opinion. She's going to be a new Black Widow movie. She's going to be... Won't see it.

Doesn't affect me. You know what? You won't have a choice. People are going to break into your house and make you watch it. The new black widow film it's gonna be like

the vaccine if you don't watch it you're in Q and on that will get to that stage you just inject the movie into it and if you have any way

like I don't want to watch the movie it's like well you're basically in the clan then yeah

so this movie I have to say the start of the film is very good okay starts off with this girl uh

the Florence I just call a blonde girl alright okay what's the characters do uh

I think like Hannah. Yeah, let's go with Hannah. Okay, yeah, yeah. So Hannah's like, oh, my sister's calling me. She doesn't sound too well. I think the boyfriend's like, hey, she's probably just you know, probably just being kooky, you know? Yeah, just nosh me off.

You'll feel better. But it turns out the girlfriend has actually, not only killed herself, but has released gas in the whole house has killed her parents as well. Right. This is the main girl's sister. Yeah, yeah. She's carbon monoxized the house on purpose. Right. To kill herself.

on her parents as well. Yeah. That's how the film starts, okay? And you kind of get the sense that the boyfriend is Jack Rayner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's already kind of like wants to break up with her.

He's like, oh, it's not really working out. But then, you know... Murder suicide in the family? Oh, you can't really bail. You can't really be like, oh, that's bad, but here's another little bit of news. Here's another little bit of cherry on the cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he decides to stay with her. Like a gentleman? Yeah, but no, according to this, that's him being bad. How? He's being a coward because he's not telling her how he really feels.

This is what the women on Jezebel say. Oh, okay. This is what the Lindsay Wests of the world say. So he decides to stay with her,

right? And now he cut forward a year, all right? Yeah. And him and his bros all hang out and they're all

anthropology students, all right? Yeah, the coolest bros on campus. Yeah, those jocks are fucking nerds now, okay?

Anthropology where it's at. That's the new punk Croc. Yeah. So, like, they're all planning this cool trip to Sweden,

all right? They've got, like, a friend called Pepe, I think, or no, Pele, all right?

Pele, Pele, the Swedish guy, okay? And he's like, dude, you need to check out Sweden.

We got Mid-Summer festival. It is late, man. You've ever been to IKEA, is like, all IKEA,

man, is great. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, dude, this is going to be awesome.

We have fun. And it works because it's also, we can write about just for anthropology final exams. This is going to be awesome. I think there's a thing

where like the Jack Rainer character is kind of like I don't know what to write about yet but I'll tag along with you guys. And they'll see. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a moment of inspiration and what I get to me.

And then there's a thing where like they're at a party and he's like, yeah, we're thinking about this and she's like, oh. It's kind of like, you know the way sometimes you have a girlfriend though right and it's kind of like, oh, you kind of invite her out of politeness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she's kind of like, oh, yeah, I'll go if you want me to go. Right. And he's like, yeah, I want you to go if you want to go. But you don't have to go if you don't want to go. I mean, like, I'll go if you really want me. Like, it's kind of clear like, they're not, they're not doing too well relationship-wise. I get you.

But they're both kind of like, maybe this will help. Yes. And his other bros are like, dude, you brought your girlfriend to the bro down? To the anthropology trip. Yeah, yeah. That is not bro code. She's the only chick there Yeah, yeah, yeah

And she's always just like I was just thinking about my sister No, I'm okay guys, go on Yeah Keep doing the keg stand I'll be fine Yeah, and they'll always be like You know, they're hanging out being like

Yeah man, that was like sick Yeah I felt alive And she's like You know who isn't alive? Yo man I just watched sister act That's a oh shit Yeah, she's always

Run to the bathroom and crying Sister, sister Oh no Yeah, she's always crying The bros are like Huh, it's gonna be a fun trip, isn't it? So they head off to Sweden, all right? Yeah

They're like, Sweden, baby Exactly like friends, you know? Right, yeah Sweden, baby So they get there, right? The first thing to do is the Pelle is like, yo dudes, we're in Sweden,

let's take some mushrooms. All right Yeah It's party time So they take some mushrooms Alright Yeah yeah yeah And wouldn't you know what

The girl has a bad trip Well of course Yeah yeah So she kind of like She goes to the bathroom She sees like Reflection of her sister in the mirror But then I think she starts

To feel okay then Right And she's like Hey maybe this trip Ain't gonna be so bad after all Yeah So they get to this Swedish village Yeah

And all the Swedish people Are all kind of like Weirdos Kind of like Ah yes Welcome to a town you'll never want to leave well i mean if you think white people are bad swedish people are the widest people of on earth they are the most i think as white people we should like

distance ourselves from the members of the area nation look at swedish people like wow they're problematic well those are honkies look at these crackers yeah so um you kind of get the sense that like they're kind of great they're all wearing white yeah And they're all doing like, hey, we will do a ritual dance now. Yeah. Oogie doogie, boogie. It's like a flash mob, you know. Yeah, yeah.

But it all's... Party rock is in the house tonight. And they're always doing stuff like, oh, drink these herbs and dance. Dance like wild, man, and you will feel good. And it's constantly daylight there, right? Not all the time, but it's just really long days. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay.

God, wait, you're really, you're really, you sandbagging me there, it made me look like a right fool. But okay, no, go on. I guess we're playing for keeps, huh? Yeah, let's do it. Just shut up, all right? Let me read my notes. So, um, they're loving it.

They're taking weird leaves. They're like, they're having, they're dancing. Like, even the most grumpy goss in the world. Even me, why if I shut up there, like, oh, this is silly. You know what, you'd be, you want to play my Xbox. Yeah, you'd be sitting there like, there's no Wi-Fi. This is dumb, okay? I want to watch Amazon Prime workaholics is on.

But they be all dancing, like, hmm, but your foot will be tapping. I'm like, hmm, what's going on? My body's grooving and moving. I got chills. Yeah. So they're having a great time, all right? And then the Swedish people are like, look at our new, look at another ritual. It is very fun.

So they bring them to a cliff, all right? Right. There's a bunch of old people at the top of the cliff, okay? And they're like, yo, bro, what's that old motherfucker doing up there? Yeah, it's crazy, man. He's like, Chris Pontius. Yeah, man, is he going like, do a crazy flip and land in a pool, so, man? Yeah, yeah.

But instead, the old guy jumps off the cliff, lands on some rocks. And goes Chris Splat? Well, here's the thing. Some of them go, a few of them jump, okay? Some of them die, but some of them are all twitchy. Yeah. I miss time to jump, you know? Should have stuck the landing.

Yeah. So then they come to have big hammers, and they just smashed their head in. cool all right sweet yeah okay yeah so they're really i mean you thought like jackass and dirty sanchise were extreme these guys are like the dudess yeah the dudessons on ass this is what bam really should be doing right now this is it's the only thing that can help them so how are the little anthropology nerds reacting to this thing they're all kind of like this is very interesting dude oh really just tell you what this is the real anthropology

not that book shit this is a guaranteed B plus and the Hannah's like oh jack i want to go home this is a little weird oh you know what i didn't want to say anything hannah but you're being a real b word right now ruining the trip you're being a real see you next tuesday you know what me can you spell that you're stupid cubs yeah i do anthropology i can spell but yeah it is kind of like yo you don't realize this is part of my project i need to do this to pass my exams yeah anthropology is a study of living things you usually should fail for having a dead family a stupid bitch you know it's so funny

okay she's like I won't leave now they're literally killing each other and he's like no come on it's anthropology we gotta stay and she's like okay what are we what are we right now what is this relationship where do you see this going who's putting in the most

in this yeah you know it just becomes a relationship talk then while they're scraping off old cunts off of the rocks she's like do you see a future for Yeah Should I go off birth control Will a kid help

I hear it can help With your hormones I'll give you a back of my hand That'll help it's your hormones Also There's like a British couple there as well I'm just like Hey

Bloody hell Cubea I mean these bloody deaf These deaf pillocks Have to jump enough Bloody cliff Yeah they're the ones like Fuck this

I'm not staying around there Watching this We're heading off All right Go to our beef a pal Doing large pills in it They head off and I forget,

I think later on we see them just their bodies or they're just buried in a field or something like that. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think they just see their heads sticking out of the field.

Ah. So, but I forget how they're, but they're killed off, okay? Right. So you can't leave. We're trapped here. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it turns out the Swedish people

are all murderous freaks. Yeah, I was starting to get an inklin. Yeah, to be honest. This is a, midsummer is a real festival, all right? And then this is like, yes, in the festival, we sacrifice people and we murder,

sexy teens and it's like imagine if I did that about Hanukkah you know what I mean Hanukkah's not really a festival but I see what you're imagine if I was like oh I made a film called Nigerian Christmas where they all just you know

Pretty accurate portrayal actually he nailed it on the head Yeah they're all doing their thing you know Are you fill in the blank But any other kind of group of people But the Swedes is like yeah they're all freaks So was there any kind of reaction from the actual festival? No Swedish people are just like

like, yeah, it's good. It's an expression of the art form. We like very much. You like a strange case with the Jansons? Yeah, yeah. The old black men, they rape their fathers in asshole. They sure do, Mr. Sweden.

Yeah. Anyway, so they're killing each other, and it's kind of like, what's funny is this is like 90 minutes in, they're like killing each other and like, oh, this is bad, is it? Well, it could help with the project. All right, and the next scene,

them just are drinking soup. this is nice soup you guys have you know midsummer is actually kind of cool and you're just like she takes a bowl like a spoonful of soup and there's a toe in it like well it ain't perfect but the excuse they give them as well it's like well they're old people

and they're dying anyway and they want to die the traditional way yeah they sacrifice themselves they were also they probably had cancer we didn't check but they probably were dying anyway they had problematic views on trans bathrooms

so, you know They got what was coming to them Yeah, yeah So they're kind of like Well, you know, we don't want to be offended You know, we don't want to, you know, put our sensibilities onto a different

group of people Oh yeah, we don't want to, yeah, it's like Because we're, you know, we're dumb Americans who think old people shouldn't jump off cliffs But like, you know We're not respecting your culture's heritage And then the traditions, you know?

It's like people that don't want to speak out about 9-11 because they don't want to seem Islamophobic, you know? Yeah, so more stuff happens, a lot of talking, a lot of talking. There's a bit where Will Poulter's in the film. Yeah, I like him. He's good, he's fun, and there's a bit where, like, he takes a piss on, like, just a random tree, all right? And then the Swedish, like, no, you're the sacred tree, no! And there's no guy proper, just wailing.

Yeah? No. Some fucking hippie tree. hugger cunt yeah and then like Will Poulter's

like dude should I like apologize he was just a bloody piss pal would you fucking

calm down and Pelle is like a dude an apology that's not enough you just

gotta leave him man he is that guy's pissed all right you just he needs to deal with

you walk it off man you walk it he fucks that tree he's a dendropheliac yeah that's the term

oh is it yeah dendrophelia I tell you what you don't laugh when you're learning yeah

Dendrophilia is people who fuck trees. Let's give it a go. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Honestly. Oh, God, it's going to be someone trying to ruin my fun. Honestly, what? If somebody wants to fuck a tree, who's he hurting? Himself!

Imagine fucking a tree, splinters, man. I wonder to some guy who's like, he's doing well in his career and it's like, oh my God, when I was 19, I got blackout drunk and I fucked a tree. Trees can't give consent. If that tree ever tells the press, I'm done. Tree rape Thank God that tree doesn't have Twitter Yeah

Yeah Oh it was just a shrub You sick fuck You sick cunt He jizzed on the fucking bluebells You worthless scum Holy fuck we're like an hour 40

No we're not Yeah we are look No that's an hour And one minute Those are the seconds Oh right okay I was like wow Time really does fly

You're having fun Okay well we're over an hour We're near the end of the film, right? So the next thing, then, Will Poulter goes off. He disappears. Oh. What happened to him, I wonder? There's also a black guy in the film.

Oh. He's cheedy. Yeah. In that TV show where they're all dead. Ted dances in it. Oh, the good place? Yeah, the good place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he's in as well, and he's like, man, I got to check out this. He's kind of like, these people kind of whack, all right? Yeah. This is some white people. Shit. And he's right. Yeah. It is.

Extremely white people shit Even white people look at that and think Now that's fucking white people shit You know I've been I was being racist though He doesn't say whack

He's like This is very unusual This is quite strange Very bizarre subculture But in your head He's like Yo man This shit crazy

Yo this is whack Yeah I just assume You know I'm like what kind of What kind of hood speakers You go on to like Netflix

And there's like Ebonic subtitle It's like Oh this is very straight. Yo, this crazy, man. Yeah, okay, that's the bit. You get the bit.

That's the gag. So he decides to do a bit snooping around, okay? And he finds a book with like weird drawings in it. Yeah. But then he gets waxed in the back of the head

and it's a guy wearing Will Poulter's face. Oh, like his skin Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's cool. So people are disappearing. Awesome. So people are disappearing all right.

Yeah. And it's kind of like, oh, should we like look for our friends? Oh, do not worry. They are gone to a different place. Come dance with us some and drink more funny leaves. Yeah.

So, like, they kind of just don't. They're kind of distracted with dancing and Swedish shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then what happens is there's a little young one walking around and all the Swedish people to Jack Rainer are like, you should fuck her.

Yes. You know, because you have good genes, you know. But when you say young one, is she underage? I think she's meant to be just, just right. Barely legal. Yeah, yeah. And Anthony Coombe is special, huh? Yeah, just right, you know.

You know when you take it out of the oven It's still a bit, you know It's just sweet It just crumbles in your mouth Ever so perfectly Yeah God I love Crystal to you Goldilocks and the three bears

So They're trying to get him To fuck this young one All right Because he's got They want his jeans You know Yeah

Like you're a fan specimen Yes So they get them all High on acid All right And they do basically Like strip him naked

and basically push him into the girl Wow, really? She's just lying there like she's at the gynecologist, like her legs up like that. In the stirrups? No, just up like that. Oh, okay. And then they push his ass and going like, go on. Fuck her. He's like, I've got a girlfriend. Oh, no.

Well, technically he's not doing anything. If they're shoving him in and out, you know? They're not actually shoving him. They got to push him in. He trips into her, you know? Right. And you know, you know yourselves. Like, you fall into a vagina, you know. You run away immediately. Yes, I know. You go.

And you scream, you punch her and you run away and you're crying. You call your mother. Yeah, you call the police. Yeah. So they make him fuck the girl, all right, and then they dress him up like a bear. And then they set fire to him, all right? Oh. And then Hannah, they make her wear a big flower dress.

Right. I think they put a crown on her. Okay. And they make her watch him burn alive. Right. And you're supposed to think that Hannah is now the new queen. Of the cult? Yeah, of the cult.

And there's a shot of her face, then she smiles to suggest that she's accepted the evil. So that's kind of, that's exactly how hereditary ended. He was given the crown, and he smiled, and is the king of the cult. Yeah, yeah. This is the exact same way. And even the music at the end is the same kind of folksy kind of juxtaposition, kind of, like, you know, horrible scene. And like, oh, the ladybird, I like ladybirds. It's very wicker man vibes as well.

Very wicker man. Well, he basically what I did was... Would I be right in saying it's a rather derivative? You know what? He basically was like, oh like Rosemary's Baby and Wickerman. That's going to be my first two films. Yeah. And I'll just add a bit of extra stuff just so to keep them off my trail.

Yeah, yeah. So you didn't care for midsummer. I didn't care, but I will admit I did get in an argument with my girlfriend while I was watching the film. Okay. So that kind of coloured my view a bit. Then I'd read all those things about it's about being a bad boyfriend. It's like, I was the bad boyfriend. They made me fucker, I swear.

Yeah. It was a Swedish cult in Dundalk. It's true. They got me high on camomile tea and made me fuck that 12 year old. It was a dumb argument, but it wasn't a big argument. I get you, though, yeah. Like, if you're getting an argument with someone, you're in a bad mood, you're just kind of sitting there on a fowler,

and then you're watching the film. Oh, fuck this. It was literally over-leaving someone on red. Yeah. That was it like. Right, right. And then she was like, why did you leave me in red? It's like, well, I forgot, all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm watching, I'm watching Jack Rayner gets his cock out, all right? So you're going to compete with that? Yeah. How, he, full on, you see the dick? You know what? I actually respect Jack Rayner. You can tell he didn't try and fluff it up or anything.

Oh, it's quite small, is it? It's very small. Oh. It's the stage where I'm like, I like him more now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I can relate to him. I'm sure he's got the big muscles and the success, but deep down, we're all part of the same club. Yes, yes, the little dick club

The little dick on acid club So, yeah But midsummer was well received, wasn't it? It was received, but there was a lot of people being like Hey, you know, it's a companion piece, they're retitary and, you know, it's Sure, it's weird and long and not particularly enjoyable But hey, everyone else likes it

So I don't want to be the odd man I don't want to be the one fucking, you know, nonce basically You don't want to be the ugly duckling here Yeah I'll just step in line with the rest of the Nazis. I don't think that's a false equivalency at all, Brian. I think there's a direct

correlation between people who like popular films and Nazis. Well, look at the connection. Jewish man who directs films. Yeah. Hitler. Well, I got to fill in the blanks for you. Plebs. The Swedes. Yeah, yeah. So that's the

two films there. And you know what? I will say this. Even though like oh midsummer shit it looks nice and like yeah it's not totally without merit you know what

it would be you ever heard the term moving wallpaper no what's that that's the term people use for like hey you know

it's not great but it looks all right so you just have it on the background like TV shows or something like that okay right right yeah yeah

yeah I think if I watching the cinema I would be like oh come on where's the Avengers three hours is long but hey if it's I tell you what

if you watch it downstairs mates you're all chatting and that few drinks it's on the background you can kind of like when they're talking you can go look at your phone for a bit you can go off make a cocktail come back then look at the nice flowers go to the shops you know come back but go to the cinema yeah go see a fucking whore yeah get a few prosgies yes bring them back to the gaffter like oh midsomer was derivative wasn't it like oh you whores know your stuff now too cheat yeah I think maybe, yeah, maybe watch it, but maybe don't pay full attention to it.

Yeah, to be honest, I mean, you didn't really pitch it very well. And I'm not, I wasn't, I wasn't keen enough on Hereditary to go, oh, I need to see this guy's next film. You know what I mean? But his next film, it's called Disappointment Boulevard. Pretty apt. He described it as a four-hour horror film. Oh, my God. But it's got Walking Phoenix.

So you see Rop, poor old walking And walking's going to end up getting Like high on acid They're going to make a fucking bayer Four hours though Jesus Christ Yeah, well there's an extended cut

A midsummer Really? Yeah, you watch the extended cut For people who were like I need more swede Indulgent I don't know I think it needed something

It needed like the Swedes I really came away hating the Swedes Yeah Well I tell you what If one of them tries to marry my daughter who I'm getting the shotgun You know what I mean?

Yeah Pack him up in that IKEA shit I don't even know what that means That didn't make sense I'm very We're near the end I'm getting all loopy now You can kind of tell

We had the energy We drank the coffee It's wearing off Yeah The listeners can tell We're on the way on the interest Yeah But yeah

That's the end of the Okay I think we had some good stuff In this episode It was very fun You know Hey Matt I literally thought

We'd done this For like an hour 40 minutes Yeah I was having fun I was like, wow, man. Let's do like, let's do three yet. Let's make it the same length as midsummer.

Yeah. So that was that then. Oh, are you looking forward to his next film? No. No, good, yeah. I just know it, even if it's shit, people being like, actually, you don't understand it because look at the, there's numbers in it and the numbers mean things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's going to be all those, like, YouTube videos that are like the real meaning.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you did put one of those on. and it did go into like numerology and I was like all right fuck up numerology is so fucking stupid man can literally apply it to anything she's got five fingers

yeah yeah yeah just five days in a week if you forget the other two yeah yeah yeah I think yeah I know have we got anything to end it on are we just gonna you got any plans now

I'm back to work tomorrow so I'm back to I'm in work and the bank holiday Monday so yeah got to suffer from my sins. Yeah, I had a big blowout this weekend and now I have to pay for it, you know? Yeah. But you live for the weekend, man.

What a weekend. What a weekend. With the toler? With the toler. On my couch refusing to leave, stinking up the place. I ordered you pizza and McDonald's. You didn't pay me for either of them. I just expect it now. And you're like,

oh, I've got to pay rent to Dublin it's hard. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Where's that pizza? Extra large. A and Jopies. Yeah, yeah. And if I don't get it, I just proper sulk. Shit.

You went to four star. I wanted me zonis. Oh, you cheap skate. Yeah. So, yeah, man, fucking, imagine, imagine if you were dating me. I know.

The insane fun you can have, me just going like, well, want to watch these videos. Be quiet. Go upstairs and wait for me in the position. Can I put on a video?

No. You put on a video. pick bad videos okay we're watching the Fergie documentary again you don't appreciate him I'll throw a shoe at you like Beckham you even get the reference no nobody does and that's

that's why we love it that is my well that's your that's your forte your modus operandi my sadness behind that smile was a frown your blessing and your curse all right that's end it's a piece of shit thanks for listening everyone

go check out the films Yeah, yeah. Or don't. What do I care? Yeah, let's turn on the gas. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't get bare. Bye. Bye.