Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 127 : Vince McMahon vs Saudi Arabia

Episode Date: August 28, 2021

Are we dead yet?

we are back We're recording Turn that You know I don't like this Yeah Yeah TV on It's confusing

Because there's Wanda Sykes Yeah How am I meant to talk to you While Wanda Sykes Is on the TV It's too distracted Yesterday Yeah

Yeah God damn You stupid eyes Motherfucker Oh boy You don't like the black man Yeah A piece of ass

I genuinely I love Wanda Sykes Like she's very funny She's great crack Yeah I love to have her over She's great on Curb Yeah

It's like there was Like an episode of Curb and like it just yeah was it uh a black guy walks past larry's car and he locks it and then wanda sykes appears oh you think the black man gonna steal the car there's actually it's a running joke where he keeps doing things that can be perceived as racist and she's right there yeah watching the whole thing's very funny shaking her head yeah yeah anyway we've been but we're downstairs in the living room now because my roommates are all gone so it's cassidy cadden yeah i stayed over last night he did yeah we had a bit of a wild one

I drank some red wine You drank a whole bottle of red wine Yeah Yeah And then it made you feel sick And you had to go to bed Yeah Rock and roll

I wasn't that much of a party animal You're Nicky Six We got fucking Tommy Lee over here I was like I got a headache Yeah how you feel A bit hungover this morning No I'm all good

Yeah Popped up straight away I was up and watching Summer Slam First thing in the morning Yeah Yeah Like a child

Waking up Saturday morning cartoons while his while I'm just upstairs struggling to get out of bed to face another day you're just coughing up blood and I'm like James

hurry up you're missing SummerSlam John Sina's back yes actually SummerSlam was on all right yeah so I was kind of watching

it kind of like mild I'm not a big wrestling guy ball watch it you're trying to get into it no watch it like mild you know like oh yeah this is what people like and not be interested

but was reading a real interesting because you know the way of Taliban are kicking off again. Oh, do I? Yes, sir. Yeah, so I've got a renewed interest in, like, the Middle East shit. Yeah. And I was looking up, um, apparently WWE signed a contract with Saudi Arabia.

Oh, and that's why no wrestlers died in 9-11. Facts. Straight facts. 3,000 people dead and none of them were professional wrestlers. Impossible. They obviously had inside knowledge because of their prior dealings with Saudi Arabia. Prove me wrong. Triple H got a phone call.

Don't come into work today. I don't work in the trade center, but cool, yeah. Yeah. Now, if Triple H was there, he would have done the pedigree on Muhammad Atta. The rock, the stone cold stunner.

Yeah. Yeah, so they did a deal with Saudi Arabia, literally the king. Muhammad bin Salman. So, Vince McMahon made a deal with the devil. With the king of Saudi Arabia. And basically they were like, we'll give you insane amounts of money.

like billions, okay? For a 10-year deal. A 10-year deal where you put on like, I think it was like four events. In Saudi Arabia. Yeah, yeah.

And this is called sports washing. Sports washing. Yeah, yeah. It's the new craze. So all these countries with like, not great PR,

because there's all those little whiny country like, oh, human rights abuses, where? Yeah, being all Alanis-Morriset about it. Oh, we have to raise awareness. Shut up,

Yeah. So these countries are sick with a little whiny little liberals like, oh, human rights abuse gives me anxiety. So what they do is... I actually find it triggering because they cut my head off. So what they're doing now is they're going like,

okay, people like sport. Yeah. We're going to become sporty countries. So people with like, let's say Qatar. Yeah. Okay, people are like, oh, Qatar, that's they own PSG. And the world, the fucking World Cup's going on there It's a fun place

And nothing else happens there It's just football A bit of footy And that's it Yeah And sure a lot of workers died while constructing The stadiums

But it's the footy Sure the foundations Of the stadium Were made with cement And the skulls of children But The footy Oh yeah

So Vince is like This is great I've always wanted to work I love what you guys do I wish I had the balls that you had, okay? Basically, Vince McMahon has modeled the WWE on Saudi Arabia's policies.

Exactly, yeah. So, he's like, okay, done deal, we're going to have a thing called. I think they're like, crown jewels with the events. They're going to do four of them. They're going to get all the big names. It's going to be a huge thing, okay? And the king is at the events. I mean, this is very, like, Roman

Coliseum shit, isn't it? Which way will the Saudi Arabian Caesar's thumb turn? And also what's kind of funny is because... Instead of tigers it's Trish Stratis doing bra and panty matches. No, none of that. None of that? Because it's Saudi Arabia.

Oh, right. So they have to be very careful in terms of content. Okay, so it's not bra and panties, it's burqa and boots. No, I think they're literally wearing bin bags. Really? Yeah. I think the women all have to be, the women have... They probably don't even have the women wrestling.

No, they do have women matches. They actually made history. They had the first women's any kind of fighting match in Saudi Arabia. But they have to be very careful, make sure no boob made contact with the face. They're nothing like that. they're wearing full suits there's no ass cleavage or anything you know

let's be careful but anyway so they did the first event it went well he did the second event it went well but Vince isn't getting the money

they've signed the deal and Vince isn't getting the money yeah well the shoes on the other foot now he knows how Jake the snake feels yeah I don't get that reference what I know Jake the snake I know who he is kind of

well Vincent Man is just like kind of infamous for like all those wrestlers like the top wrestlers they're all on like zero hour contracts they get no health insurance no benefits once they leave the WW

they're back living in a trailer like they're lucky yeah a lot of them die broken penniless fucking China and Xbox had to do porn you know what I mean like it's it's bad Vincent Man is a piece of shit

well I do love him though oh so do I know he's great he's very here, but let's be honest, like, he's a fuck We all love a bad boy Dana White basically doesn't pay Like the way everyone's like, oh, Dana White doesn't treat, doesn't give his MMA people any money. Like he models that

all entirely on Vince McMahon Dana White, I think he loves Vince Yeah, 100%. Yeah, even the theatrics of it, you can see MMA is becoming more like fucking WWE, you know? Yeah. But I don't know, right. So Vince isn't getting his money. Yeah. And he's starting to get

peeved. So they have another event and I think I forget who the big name on it is like Brock Lesner and a few other have a lot of big names on it okay but Vince decides you know what I'm going to stop the feed mid show

I'm going to stop the this is balls that is serious I mean he's basically saying fuck you to the king of Saudi Arabia now bear in mind the first one of these events they did was a month after Khashoggi remember that journalist

when he got caught up in the little B pieces okay so it was like a Saudi Arabia being journalists who was talking shit about the country. Right. And then they walked into an embassy and cut him up basically. Okay, right, right. So because of this...

Yeah, was that like he went into the embassy and never came out? Yeah. And everyone's like, where'd he go? And they're like, oh, I don't know. Probably in the jacks. Probably tripped. And, uh, did there something silly, I say, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Why is there blood leaking out your bag? It's like the phone call in Goodfellas. Uh, we had a problem. He's gone. And we could know about it. Yeah. So actually, the American government.

government, like a lot of people were giving WWE shit because of this. They're like, a journalist just got murdered and you're having a big event. What year are we talking here? Is this before or after 9-11? Oh, this is like 2018. Oh, oh, shit, okay. 19 maybe. Oh, wow.

Yeah, okay, yeah. This is recent enough. Yeah, yeah, okay. I think one of the events, the last event thing on the contract got cancelled because of COVID. They haven't got back to us since. Oh, wow, okay. I didn't know about any of them. Yeah, yeah. So they were getting a lot of shit from American people, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Democrats. mostly okay being like oh human rights abuse is it right and it made him worse because Linda McMahon works in Trump's cabinet yeah well like Trump and Vince were very good friends like yeah I mean Trump was even in WWE

he was wrestling yeah he was in there like yeah so they were getting a lot of pressure okay what is this world we're living and the president of the United States before he was president was in the WWE remember when presidents had a bit of dignity and they play saxophone on our senior

Hall. Yeah. That's something you can hang your hat on. That's respectable. Proud of that. He'd play saxophone and rape a child

and like, that's my president. Okay, so, so they're getting a lot of pressure, okay. But anyway, back to the,

this is a live show and Vince is like, I'm cutting the feed. Yeah. So he basically cuts it. So people can get it, you know, let's say you're in America,

you're getting the feed. But in Saudi Arabia, it's off. You're watching on local TV. It's gone. And, of course, the Saudi guys are, Oh,

back to a pardon. my shish kababab. Oh no. What happened to my shish kebab? Oh. Yeah. I don't know. It's a real show.

Now back to pardon my shishababab starring Jennifer Coolidge. Who put the shiskebab in my pussy? So the Saudi Arabian producer is like, what the fuck? Yeah. Fuck it hell, Vince. You're ruining it? He's like, my money now.

Okay, fine. here you go take your fucking money and then they put the feed back on this literally lasts like seconds the feeds back on all right it's gone but Vince can sense there's things have turned bad now yeah

there's an atmosphere yeah there's a bad vibe in Saudi Arabia okay so the show ends and Vince is like yeah I feel like tensions have been raised here I got my money

I'm gonna fuck off in my private jet right now. So him and a few like the important people probably like Triple H and his daughter. Yeah, like the big names. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think they took off. I think Hulk was on the wing as well. Don't leave, I thought my brother. It was like, you know, in Vietnam, like the chopper rising. Out of Saigon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Hulk's is hanging on. Like, help. So Vince gets the fuck out of there. Yeah. But there's a lot of other wrestlers and WVE people still

there, they're scheduled to leave like the next morning. Right, yeah, they're getting like a fucking commercial flight, they're flying coach. Yeah, they literally have to get in coach, well, like a shitty, okay, they have to fly, because they're doing the show, they're doing like raw. Yeah, like hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's intense.

It's an intense schedule. It's, there's no rest. No, yeah. Okay. You've got to be on coke, steroids and oxycontin just to get through the day. I would hope so. Yeah. If someone was like, yeah, like get by just with the love of Jesus, I'd be like, Freak. Freak.

Demented, psychotic freak. Wait, you're not doing Oxy. You're reading the Bible. Kill him. Oh, God. At least Benoit had an excuse. So, all the fighters are scheduled to leave, okay? They're on the plane, and then it's kind of like,

yeah, actually, we're not leaving? Like, oh, is there a problem with the plane? No. No, you're just staying. Can we leave the plane? No. I recommend no. If you want to keep your tits

Yeah, yeah You know that game Floor is lava Okay, outside the plane is lava But instead of lava It's beheading So we're playing outside is beheading It's the fun new game in Saudi Arabia

So they're like Here's a box set of pardon my shish kebab Signed by Omar de Bubabam Oh wait No, that's not okay You can't say those things That's, you meant Jennifer Coolidge.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, I was reading Jennifer Coolidge, but I read it out an angle and it looked weird. Anyway. Yeah. So, and they're like, there's a lot of people with guns around the plane. Are they protecting us? Maybe. Sure, yeah.

That's one way to look at it. Yeah. So they were stuck on that plane for like 24 hours. Right. While Vince is kind of like, go on, let him go. Don't be a cunt, Mohammed Bill Salman. Any big names on the plane? any names you recognise?

No, I'm not a wrestling guy, but like, a lot on the... I know, Goldberg. He was a WCW, you fucking idiot. A lot of the sexy ones were there. Okay, okay. So now I care.

Yeah, all right. So they were just stuck on a plane then. It became like an international incident. Oh, wow. I didn't know that anyway. What's interesting is none of the fighters have discussed this afterwards. Yeah, yeah.

Which is weird. So I think it must be a thing like, let's just all agree we all had a bad dream. Yeah. That didn't happen. Well, I mean, I think they see what happens to the people that go telling tales out of school. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. So that was a little bit interesting. Wrestling trivia, Middle East trivia. Yeah. But professional wrestling and Afghanistan news. I don't know it was Saudi Arabia. Yeah.

It's all the stuff. Yeah. It's like Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia. it's kind of like W-W-E W-C-W-W-C-W. It's, I mean, it's different, but is it that different, really? Yeah.

I'm sure they'd love the analogy as well. Qatar is ECW. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty crazy stuff. I was also looking up an interesting thing about this Irish couple. Did I send you this? I don't think I did.

If I didn't even hear about this? What's this? This Irish couple that, like, disappeared like 30 years ago. Oh. And they never found them. They went extreme. Where is this, sorry I'll look it up real good

I'm interrupting your facts with my silly silly jokes Yeah, I don't like that No one likes it I get messages and they're all Yeah, make James go away I'm like I'm trying Bring back James Mourne

And get rid of Cadden Send Cadden to Saudi Arabia In a bra and thong And it'll all take care of itself Yeah Let me look up Irish couple go missing Yeah they went missing

and, like, nothing was missing from the house. Really? Yeah, the car, like, was there. They had, like, money hidden that didn't leave. Interesting. Very interesting. And then you can go on this website of all, like, different missing people in Ireland. It's kind of freaky.

Really? The way people can just, like... Disappear. Just gone. It's like, yeah, like, what can you do? What? Yeah. Like, you would kind of assume that, like, all missing persons, like, you hear about, like, every one of them.

But, no, definitely not. people can just disappear and is it some sort of satanic paedophile cult of love island fans yes i believe it is we're asking the big questions the big question but you know what i'll probably end up dead just for you know breaking the truth here yeah yeah yeah so firmoi yeah yeah where's that that's that cork it's cork yeah so i're in cork by oh my roommates just went to cork And they're, like, my roommate and our boyfriend just went to cork. They're a couple. What if they disappear?

Oh, my. I'll be like Kevin McAllister in Home Alone. I made my family disappear. Yahoo! Just like, a montage of me jumping on the bed. You can try shaving. Yeah. But it's like my bald sack.

I shave my sack and then I splash like after shave on it. Joe Pesci breaks in the house and rapes me. that's what happened in that movie right yes yeah yeah so yeah in 1991 Connor and Sheila Dwyer attended a funeral in the church they walked back to their home

gone never seen again not a single sighting they're both in their 60s and they just left very very weird now a young couple you can be like oh I don't know maybe they do

a young couple like maybe they went surfing yeah yeah true maybe they were doing extreme mountain biking it took 23 days for anyone to notice that's cork not a fun couple then you would assume you're like you know

23 days for anyone to even notice I bet in the town they're kind of like should we tell the play nah I kind of like it yeah yeah let's just enjoy the quiet seems to be a lot like I don't know what kind of comes to mind for me is a murder suicide well look at them

that's why that's why a new used in reporting them. They were not camera friendly. Let's see that. You wouldn't even put them on the side of a milk carton. It would ruin the milk. Yeah, yeah.

Turn the milk sour. Yeah, just put their picture on the side of cow's udders. But here's thing, there's been... What a silly, silly joke. Does it make any

fucking sense, Cadden? You worthless fucking cunt. Like a lot of these mysteries, there's always like people calling and being like, oh, I think I saw them. Yeah, yeah.

But they've been getting sightings in, like, Germany. Really? Yeah. like all like Spain shit like that's always like oh yeah I saw a couple it's probably them

I saw a man and a woman so that's probably them they were black but you know you can be dying I saw the cast of cool runnings is that them I think cool runnings came out in 91 could be hopefully

yeah it works either way yeah it works either way look and as well if it didn't come out that time people listen to me like oh James has been very clever he's playing the character who doesn't know when cool runnings came out

but I God, he's just working on so many levels at once. It's 4D chest. I also I was looking up other missing people and also there's another guy who went missing in America. Have you heard about

the smiley face murders? I have heard that being mentioned yeah, but I've never looked into it properly. So this guy went missing and other people tried to connect it to the smiley face murders. I'll just tell you about the guy first. Yeah, yeah. So the guy he was a medical student

great family had a girlfriend he was doing well for himself I think he just graduated and he went out to the boozer yeah he went down and had a few sherrys

and cremed him out with his fraternity brothers So I think they were in like Chicago Right Oh yeah Chicago Yeah Yeah having some deep dish pizza They're hanging out in a tiny little bar

Doing my voice bring Don't fucking interrupt me again Cunt All right so they're hanging out in a bar A tiny bar now okay And he's with his friends Like three friends Yeah

His friends are He goes outside Okay Does CTV footage of him outside Chat on the two girls Having a smoke Yeah yeah A medical student

You know he's a radical Yeah Yeah Monkey see monkey do I think not So he There's footage of him Walking back into the bar

Okay His friends don't see him Walking back into the bar Okay It's kind of freaking out There's only one proper door In and out That main door

That main door That he just came in after the cigarette Yeah The only other door really Was normally in use But there was construction going on So if you had to get If you try to escape out that door

You'd have to do a proper like You have to crawl And like step over blocks And climb a fence Okay Like this it wasn't a fire hazard Right right So it wouldn't make sense

That he would go that way Unless he was proper trying to like escape Something like somebody Pulled a knife on him Or something This is in the 90s so he went missing no one ever saw him again

that's crazy never again they don't know how no one saw him walking back to the bar the two girls they talked to her it's like yeah he was walking past him uh we got a light or a cigarette off nobody saw him talk to anybody or just so the ccdv shows him walking back it shows him walking out of the bar smoking a cigarette walking back in and then his mates don't even see him again in the bar

his friends think oh he's probably I don't know, maybe he's gone home or something like that. You wouldn't be too worried if you're friends. Yeah, probably, you know, it's probably like, oh, he probably just, you know, hooked up with a check. Yeah, maybe he's cheating on his girlfriend, nice. Awesome. That is so Zach.

What's his name? I've no idea. Zach, Zachary. Yeah, Zach, Zachary, man. It's the guy from safe with a bell. Zach Morris. That's it. Whoa, freeze frame, or what did they call that?

I think he paused or something? Time out. Time out. Yeah, yeah. So he goes missing and he's just never seen again. Okay. And like a lot of things, people are like, oh, it's probably some kind of crazy conspiracy. Yes.

It probably isn't. Okay. One thing is kind of freaky, though, is his friend used to call his mobile every day when he vanished. Okay. And it kind of like, maybe someday he'll pick up. Yeah. Two weeks later, it never rang before. Two weeks later, it rang out.

Wow. Yeah. That sort of indicates that it was switched off for those two weeks and then switched on. Yeah, yeah. Wow. And then after he tried ringing again, didn't ring out. Okay. So that's a little bit of creepy stuff there.

Yeah. So there was actually a number of men. It was always athletic white men. Okay. Who went missing. Right. So we'd be in trouble. Look at me.

I'm a Greek Adonis. They'd be like, oh, look at this sexy beefcake here. Probably, he probably bangs Pamela Anderson. Now that she's old and has hepatitis I can have a go That fucking weird old hacktivist had a go on her Yeah fucking she was banging Julian Assange Yeah

Anyway Good for him Yeah so So there's a number of athletic White men Yeah Who went missing around the same time All right

A lot of them were found in the river Tifa Yeah A lot of them were found in the river Dead obviously Yeah yeah And others were just gone forever Right

And people were like Is there some connection here Yeah Now one cop who I would consider I haven't done the full research now but I would consider a dummy okay all right

was like hey there's smiley face graffiti in every one of these cities that someone went missing therefore there must be a smiley face killer so it's not even at the scene no it's just it's like okay

we found him in the river and six blocks away there was a smiley fit it was technically a frowny face but it's some kind of face right and there's probably a connection It's not even a consistent, like it doesn't look like the same face every time. No.

Yeah, okay, that's a very, you know... Very loose. Very loose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he managed to get a book deal out of it. So, fair play they have. Not only to get a book deal, but of all people, Brett Easton Ellis wrote a screenplay. Really?

Yeah, for the smiley... I think it's got like 14% in Rotten Tomatoes? Oh, so it's actually got made? Got made, yeah. Oh, okay. No one's heard of it. Yeah, I've never heard of that. Brett Easton Ellis has actually had a few films.

him out that nobody heard of. Like, he's had, like... Yeah, it won't be more dignified if he had some, like, big failures? Yeah. But it says, like, oh, the canyons. The canyons, yeah. You watch that? Is that the one that's Brad Renfro's last film, Mickey Rourke's in it?

No, it's a... I'll think of something else. Lindsay Lohan's in it. Oh, no. Oh, is that the one with James Dean? Yeah, it's pretty hot. It's pretty hot. Lindsay Lohan makes a guy suck off another guy against his will. Yes.

Yes, it's actually on. to God, the best thing I've ever seen. It's the great citizen team. Why are we doing this fucking shit? Why aren't we watching that right now? I'm going to order the special edition Blu-ray. Directors

commentary. Yeah. So the film... What, does she hold a gun on him or something? No, no, she's just kind of pushes his head because he's trying to fuck her and she's like, uh-uh, uh-oh. Yeah. And she pushes his head down.

Hey, you want the, you want the pie. You got to have the Broccoli first Eat your cockley to get the pie Hey Lindsay Lohan gets her tits out in the film Really? Great tits.

Nice. She's underrated, I think. Remember in Machete? Was that her real tits? No, I definitely looked at it. You believe me. That's why I'm asking you, Tuller. You are my titty encyclopedia,

you know what I mean? Okay, so yeah, the smiley face killer, so you don't think it's real then. It seems very tenuous, and they've never been able to find any other link to the random murders. If there are murders, they could literally just be, like, drunk guys. Falling in rivers. Or just disappear or, like, I remember hearing the story of, like, a guy, he, like, fell in the river and just, like, he was walking home drunk.

Yeah. And he fell on some river, and then they found him, like, a couple of months later, like, just bobbing around. So he obviously just fell in the river and drowned. It's pretty easy Just like fall in a river And you're drunk And you end up in like Madagascar Yeah

No true You're dead of course There's no funny animals There's no David swimmer Oh This guy's dead David Why are you crackers

You say I can't swim These crackers can't swim Ah yes Yes Yes Yes I did the bad fun Mamma ma'am So

Fuck you How about that How do I defend it here's my defense just fuck off will you busy body cunt

yeah there you go anyway yeah that's all I have to talk about okay yeah I'm done I'm spent okay

we've probably only been going about 12 minutes yeah well how long we've been going I blew my wad you know all right what else is going on

not much I'll see what are oh wow 26 minutes Brian let's see what are notes I made uh we can talk about about, let's see what

gets your going. It's your fancy alright, so we can talk about Robin's gay now. Who? You know, Robin from Batman and Robin? Yeah, no, he's not even gay, he's bisexual. Yeah. Who cares? Like, I don't know. Wasn't he always kind of

interpreted as secretly gay? Well, I remember those jokes, like, from like, 90s sitcoms, like, come on. Robin's definitely, you know, a friend of Dorothy. Yeah, little short, English Butler put two and two together. Holy throbbing

penis, Batman, your cock is in my ass. Oh, let's right, old jump. Yeah, so it's Tim Drake, he's Robin and he, in the comic apparently, I kind of skimmed through, I didn't read the comic, but

I literally went to Forbidden Planet to read it, I didn't pay for it. Nice. Open the, I was like, where's your gay Robin comic? Join the cue, sir. And I was like, I need to use her Batroom. We don't

really have I need it Give me the keys Yeah So he's trying to save his friend John Who we've never met

before Right Okay And he's got Oh God Save John Because he's my friend

My special friend Yeah And you know Batman's like You really love your friend John Don't you

Is this John who has that island Yes That's him Yeah Oh okay So he's got He saves John

From like Derriddler River Okay Diddler and then at the end he's like Do you want to go on like You know maybe we can meet up

And he's like Are you trying to ask me out on a date And Robin's like Yeah And then they go on a date Don't even have sex or anything Really? Yeah

Do sex happen in those comic books Oh yeah All the time Really Batman is just straight fucking They should call him Twatman Because he is just Slaying gash left and right Harley Quim

Am I right Yeah It's all kicking off In the Batman universe Everyone's non-binary now And it's just all Gender Fluid Yeah

I can't wait for the Batman Pride parade That'll be good Yeah Like I'm not in vet I don't care I'm not a comic book guy at all How has this been received

Among your people Brian Your types A lot of people Don't like it Because it comes out of nowhere And it's not a great story It's just

There's no build up to it It's forced It's contrived and forced It wasn't like We follow Robin meeting John Being like, well John really has a nice six-packed Yeah, yeah

It's literally three panels John meets Robin John get saved by Robin And then Robin sucks him off They literally don't even have him suck him off Like It's a disgrace That's what happens between the panels

My friend What can we else can we talk about Bob Dylan got a little bit trouble I'm talking about that Yeah I don't know It's weird Because like it came out

The headlines sort of came out And then like A lot of publications Kind of shared it And then it went away very quickly Because literally like the day after Poor old Sean Locke died I'm that kind of took everyone's breath away

Now he should get Nobel Prize for literature Yes he should Tarot in your box Genius I don't even know what that is everybody was like sharing that as if that's like his highest achievement it's like some little dumb segment they did on eight out of ten cats with john richardson and jimmy car's fake laugh like sean lock has done way better stuff than that like it's kind of sad it's kind of sad

how like when sean lock died everyone was like eight out ten cats the best thing he ever did and that's the clip through not a stand-up yeah it's all just like and you could like he was very open about it's like i don't like doing this i'm not enjoying this i'm not enjoying this. I hate it. I'd say that's what gave him cancer and killed him. Definitely. I mean, I know he had skin cancer before, but that's what made him go into what is that? Not remission, but

the other one. Submission? Yeah, whatever. He got dommed by cancer. That's right. Finn Dom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he used to be a builder. A builder. Yeah. And then he got skin cancer from that apparently, yeah, yeah. And then he gave that up and became a comedian. He seemed

like a nice guy. He did, yeah. A friend of ours met him in a restaurant. and said he was very nice and pleasant. And I've heard lots of other comics were posting shit about him and they're all like yeah, deadly guy, didn't rape children or anything. Yeah, yeah. A bit of a square in that sense.

But yeah, he just seemed also, it's a very Sean Locke way of dying. Yeah, well, he didn't really fuck with social media at all. So he just like, the news just dropped. Like nobody, we hadn't really seen him in a few years. Yeah, we'd seen them bits and pieces like a few years is a bit much.

I'm serious I genuinely don't think he's been on TV in the last two to three years because here's the thing 8 out of 10 8 out of 10 castles count down it's not even him or John Richardson was on it for the last few seasons

it was fucking Rob Beckett and Ashleen B and like those types of people yeah like so the only kind of like Jimmy Carr is still there but it was all like new younger comedians with bigger teeth than less jokes

you know yeah but anyway yeah so I think he's kind of he's been sick sure he was on a hospice for like the last year was he

yeah he was in a hospice I didn't know any of this yeah no like Harry Hill wrote like an article in the Guardian after he died and just talked about

like he you know his humor remained up to the very end I remember ringing him one time and being like what's the hospice like

and Sean goes yeah it's okay the sex is great things like that yeah that's fun yeah and like he didn't it would be very easy for him to be like

posting this emotional team being like guys I don't have long I'm gonna keep fighting and he's just like yeah I'm just gonna die now yeah like it's popping down to the pub

but it's just like yeah fucking like a man like a real man just go and crawl under the house to die alone that's definitely how I want to die like the dogs we are yeah that's how I don't want to post

anything like no fucking like a cry a teary Instagram post Guy, all my best friends, I'll see you again in heaven. No, I'm not going to like you. You're not going there, neither am I. Yeah.

Oh, I'll see you again, but you ain't going to like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'd have taught about, I don't want a funeral. I don't want to give those cunts of satisfaction. What cunts? All the cunts are out to get me. Yeah, you know who you are. Pretend you don't see me.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think I literally just want, I want to hire some guy in secret just like, just don't me in the river, like. Okay. Do it a smiley face. Yeah, just and tie a rock to my foot

so no one finds me. Just dump me in the river. Yeah. And that's it. But I don't want people, I want people know like I'm dead. Yeah. So maybe just leave,

leave like a leg or something Oh no Cut out my heart And leave it on a on a pristine pillow How are they going to know it's your heart Fingerprints What about your head? We chop your head off

Yeah Put it on a stick Actually you're right Yeah I want something horrific Yeah Yeah Plus a severed head Is always funny looking

You know Yeah I want to go funny Yeah I don't want any way Like people crying on People laughing at my severed head You know Make them laugh

Make him cry Now Spike Milligan had that great epitaph on his headstone It just says I told you I wasn't feeling well What would your funny little message be to the world Just the picture of my cock Picture of your cock And then it just says

You are what you eat Brian O'Toole There you go And then people from all over the world flocked to see it Yeah like fucking Jim Morrison and they write poems on your headstone, yeah. How do you want to go out? Would you take anyone with you?

Oh, that'd be great now, yeah, yeah. Actually, would be. Get my pilot's license, like, yeah. And then just like, where's the Earth's orphanage? Okay. Oh, I don't know, yeah. Like, we were watching videos that Plymouth guy. Yeah, he's like doing, it's like,

I've tried my best, but I can't get funny. Yeah, that's basically, It wasn't what I was expecting. Yeah. Because he hear, like, the rain shooter kills people. He was more, he wasn't, like, angry. He was just kind of sad and pathetic. This is a sad sack.

You felt kind of bad for him. Yeah. Because you're expecting, like, I am the angel of debt. Yes. And I will make the vermin pay. It stays as like, oh. I'm very sad and I just want friends. Oh, the condoms are too big for me.

Yeah. I try to have a posh wank. And I fill off my ladder. Oh yeah I don't know Yeah there's a lot of guys like that though There's like sad

Can you believe this now A lot sad What's this Brian People who are sad Unhappy with their lives Feel like losers I feel bad for those dorks Not L dude

Brother cat in here Let's go back to dying though How do you want to I don't know man I get I used to be like When I remember like being like a child Right

Like seven years old And sort of this moment, this sort of epiphany happened. Because, you know, I was raised Catholic or whatever, right? Yeah. So, you know, you're made to believe heaven and eternal life and all that stuff. So I remember it was actually very weird. I was out of sleepover at my cousin's house. I remember lying awake in bed thinking, okay, so when you die, you go to heaven.

But that's eternal. It's eternity. It's never ending. And that, there was the first time I ever really tried to wrap my mind around that concept. of eternal consciousness and that I fucking freaked out I got so

I was like wait what it goes on and on and never stops what what? Like the idea of

heaven actually terrified me more than dying you know what I mean yeah the idea of like eternal life

is awful it is yeah you can't even picture like what is that like how many times can you have a wank yeah

and how many times can you watch fucking only fools and horses yeah over and over again eventually you get sick of it

after 8 million years you probably get sick of Grandad Yeah The chandelier Seeing Dell boy Falling over at the bar Play it cool ball shan

Yeah Yeah no So I don't know How would I want to go Quick Like I don't want to even know It's common Yeah back of the head

Yeah somebody just walks up Back of the head Like two bullets You know That'd be nice I would like that By wanting to be in a public place and it freaks out people.

Like JFK, that's the best way to grow. I want the blood from my head to splatter into a hot woman's mouth in all of our tits as well. Nice. Rock and roll till the end. Dolly Parton's big 90-year-old fake tits just covered in your blood.

That'd be great. I finally get to see Dolly Parton. That would be the perfect way to die. I'm about... At Dollywood. You shoot yourself in Dollywood. I'm about to say something witty to her and in my head I'm like, this, we'll be best friends after this again. I'll mention something,

I won't mention like her bit. I won't be like, oh, working nine to five, that's a song you wrote. I'll mention like littlest hor house, something obscure. The best little whorehouse in Texas? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then we'll become friends from that. Let's go up. What's Bert Reynolds cock like? Bang. And then, yeah, bang. You're all over her. Are you shooting yourself or somebody shooting? No, someone else is shooting.

Dolly part and shooting me. This is Dallywood, sweetie. I'm gonna fuck you up. Yeah. I think death is actually like pretty great. Yeah. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, just like...

Every day more and more. There's that old, there's an old saying, death is like taking off a tight shoe that you've worn well. It's just a... That's great. It's loosening your belt. Yeah, loosening your belt. shitting and jizzing

at the same time you know death is a blumpkin you're getting sucked off while taking a shit that's death baby just you need death

yeah like remember that black mirror episode with two lesbians no I didn't watch that one well there's one with two lesbians and it ends with them being like hey we'll never

going to die we're going to get uploaded to a computer program and we'll live forever fuck that shit that seems like a, being a lesbian that lives forever. A fucking digital lesbian?

Holy shit. Being a Tron lesbian, a Trondike. What's this called? You've got female? You've got male, you female. Fucking bitch! That's what it's called. You've got female.

Does it work? No, not really. Let's keep going. So it's just, okay, we're just going to be in the computer world together forever and ever. people talk about that uploading their consciousness to like a computer what is that called the singularity yeah yeah yeah that like fuck that

no way I would never do that yeah because here's the thing so what I'd share a consciousness with fucking like what Rob Beckett like it's you and Rob Beckett it's me and everyone I don't want to talk I want to share my consciousness with everyone in the world a lot of them are cunts

you and Rob Beckett and he's just telling that open a joke every time I'm working class my girlfriend's middle class she used to be at my class but we're together now that's his opening jokies that's his you know he's been doing that for the last 12 years and I have to not even hear it I have to

like be part of his consciousness then you're one of his teeth yeah that's what you are you have to live eternity as one of Rob Beckett's teeth what a nightmare not even one of his two front teeth you're like a molar in the back it's you and fucking Carl Spain first time what we're talking about

I have no idea singularity death Bob Dylan's a paedophiles smiley face killer Afghanistan Vince McMahon Jesus Christ I like this

I like a nice wild one Yeah it goes all out You know let's just watch an episode of Pardon my Shishababab Musk is always talking about Singularity But he just goes like Yeah it's a cool concept

and then people online are I was like whoa he's so deep oh my god that's fucking freaking my mind man as if he like came up with like he didn't come up with any of this shit I don't get the appeal with that guy I also don't understand

the like visceral hatred of him like when he hosted SNL people were like no let's burn down 30 Rockefeller Plaza no burn down the whole thing and if Kate McKinnon dies

so be it Oh, be it, yeah, hallelujah. But, yeah. Have you seen his new Tesla bot? You were showing me there last night. Yeah, I think I went to bed, though. You were falling asleep and I was like, James, wake up, wake up, it's the Tesla bot. I was like, look, either put on Gen Z Hospital or don't waste my fucking time.

Yeah, Tesla bot is his new thing. It's like, yeah, it's a robot, and it can tink and it can walk around and it can lift things. But don't worry about it. Okay. It's a robot, and yeah, it could strangle you if it wanted to. but yeah it probably won't i think it's too late now like there's no point and even worry it's like climate change you know like who cares about artificial intelligence climate change is going to kill us all anyway so yeah it's all fucked my friend i have been thinking about that

a lot more and like when i'm in social situations this sounds about kind of bad but a few times i'm like social situations i'm like go i'd love just tell this guy he's a fucking cunt and i'm like the world is ending yeah yeah maybe i should call him a cunt right now i never do no no because the world is ending but not quick enough it's like that old joke life's short but not short enough it's that kind of mood today

yeah yeah I'll tell you what we'll cheer ourselves up let's talk about something different I watch the AVN Awards oh you did we were watching a little bit of it there yesterday I was very surprised

by what a big production it was like you could have told me that that was the MTV movie awards and I would have believed you Yeah, so let's explain the AVN awards are like the porn awards. Yes. Now, I don't know who's paying for the awards. I don't know how it works.

Where does the money come from? I mean, I guess there is still a lot of money in porn. Yeah, but who's paying for this? Like, who's the guy being like, okay, guys, everyone put money in the bucket. We're paying for you. We got to pay for Doja, come on, guys. Do they have a union? Are they unionized?

I'd hope so. Yeah, I mean, you got to think, like, porn stars on the level of, like, Lisa Ann are, like, you know, surely they're unionized. Lisa Ann is like a sports columnist now I mean she's like she's sort of one of the few that sort of crossed over to mainstream success. It's so weird like I be when I was working in America to have like ESPN on a lot and

they'd have like you know just a regular like and coming up now uh can the New York Nix'd really do it this year? Lisa Ann what do you think I sucked all their decks oh wow very good good good stuff good stuff yeah I'm glad we paid for you we have to fire that guy in a wheelchair

but it was worth it And that's the way The Cookie Cumbles But she's just there being like Yeah I think You know With the new signings this year I think they can really make a push

In the playoffs She's not even talking about Cox What? Outrageous She doesn't even get her titty's out No No I'm sorry And that's why

I don't want to live In the singularity Because now we're in a world Where Lisa Ann's on telly But her tities are coming up It's bloody wrong You know it's all so strange I was working with a bunch of foreigners

Yeah End of episode That's the last episode we ever recorded I was working with a bunch of foreigners People from like the Eastern Bloc People from like Spain You know the Europe Eastern Blocke

Nigeria They all knew who Lisa Ann was Of course they did I mean she is like one of the most famous Port Stars in the world It was quite strange There's like these girls who have bad English Being like Bran

Brann, Lisa Ann Oh, it's a Lisa Ann Oh, Big a Titty She do not to shave a bush But he look good Yeah And I was I don't know why

But I was kind of Oh, Lisa Ann I kind of know her Yeah Oh yeah She's from ESPN Isn't she Oh she featured in that

M&M music video Yeah, that's right I wouldn't know And then you take off your shirt And you're covered In Lisa Ann tattoos Have you seen the new Lisa Ann now?

like she kind of got more surgery and she looks different like kind of her tits are different oh no let's not go down this road well look at all it that's for Patreon yeah yeah yeah let's watch it together

as a goof let's see who can stay hard the longest but not come as a goof as a funny funny goofy funny funny fucking joke all we could do

like a goof we could print out a picture of her and then come on it and then send her the video of us coming and be like we did it for you it's all for you

Lisa. Do you want to come to Dollywood with us? I'm going to kill myself. We take her to Dollywood and then Nollywood and see which one she likes best. I think I know.

Giving the video evidence I has of her criteria. Explain what Nollywood is because people won't know. That's on them. I'm not here. What am I a fucking encyclopedia

Nollywood? It's like like Bollywood. in India and Hollywood in Nigeria apparently Nigerian film it's quite

it's popping over there it's happening Yeah yeah yeah I mean they have They're trying Yeah They're not succeeding

Well I mean They're succeeding In their demographic In their country In their market There's not a lot of crossover potential But

A lot of Western world Has seen There's something happening there And they got Guinness of all people They got involved They funded an action movie

Okay And it was like a Nigerian action movie and the star of course he's like, I gotta save the world, but first Creamy Guinness delicious black and what together, usually

not good, but this time well, you know, a friend of the show and a personal friend of mine, I would say like a brother to me, the great Irish filmmaker Terry McMahon went over to Nollywood

and directed a big action movie over there apparently. Yeah, yeah, If they can afford Terry McMahon Wait, you got the Terry McMahon. You're not yanking my chain here, are you in Hollywood? You crazy Nigerians lying to me again. He's these Nigerian prince.

But yeah, no, Terry McMahon. I was showing you some of his interviews and his previous work. He's a very interesting man. He's fascinating. I think we should watch one of his films for a podcast. Yeah, yeah. I've actually watched both of his biggest films

Charlie Casanova and Patrick's Day I've watched them both because I did like film and TV and TKIT and he like was a guest lecturer so I've you know I've experienced the full

the full Terry McMahan experience Pure uncut yeah yeah Terry just raw dog in your mind basically he would come in and like his whole thing was like to shock you and like get you out of your comfort zones

we'd be like what's your name Brian it's okay what's your name Jennifer. Okay, so here's the scenario. Brian was banging Jennifer last night. He fucked her in the airs.

He came on our tits. Now let's make a scene out of that or something. Yeah. Like he was like, his whole thing was like, be like sexually aggressive and offensive. Basically like real edge lord energy, like Opie and Anthony type stuff. And you're saying this was like 2016,

like, 2016 just before the Me Too stuff. Just when the golden era was, the sun was setting. The sun was setting, you know, yes, that's right. But if you're unfamiliar with Terry McMahon, just look him up on YouTube. You know, you only have to hear him talk for about two seconds to get a sense of who he is and what he's all about. He actually got in trouble there like a year ago, like a clip went like semi-viral in Ireland. He was on the Paddy Hulahan podcast.

Yeah, the MMA guy. Yeah. And he was talking about his daughter and he was like, look at my dad, okay. No, I got a son. He's 21 years old. He wants to be a filmmaker. He works every fucking day of his life. He busts his balls. He's grind and working hustling. And I'm damn proud of him. Then I look at my daughter. She's a fucking lazy cunt. Doesn't want to do fucking anything. She just talks about feminism and the patriarchy and all those bullshit she sees online. She just wants to use her genitals to get ahead. My God, that's prostitution. She's a goddamn whore. I'm not like, you know, I'm putting a little bit. a stank on it but that's pretty much what he said like that was a gist of it

that was I mean you know what like he says some very salacious shit about his own daughter basically calls her a lazy contour and is he wrong

well look you don't have a daughter yet so you can't see any yeah yeah that's true I've talked to a lot of guys who have daughters and I think that's all they're that's what they all think

they might not say it but you can tell by their eyes you know I'm I consider myself an empath I'm very good good as reading people

and I just like I meet a man I'm like oh let me guess your daughter's a whore cunt yeah I know it I could tell

I see a guy pushing a pram with a little baby in there and like whore right yeah yeah I know

trying to use her pussy try to get her pussy to get an ad in the Johnson and Johnson she doesn't even work for the milk she sucks it

yeah a little parasite anyway back to the EVNs oh wow yeah Avian Awards Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is 2021 AVNs. Okay. Right before COVID. Right. Right before the Chinese ruined everything. Oh, yeah. So. Chinese people cockblock in the world.

So as you were saying, it's very nice. It's very like it's a big, like you kind of think, CD like a small little shitty conference room and a three star hotel. Like, but no, this is a, it's a big deal. Like it looks like a legit, very good, well-produced. award show. It looks at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. Exactly.

I'm waiting for people to get gunged. Yeah. What's they call it? Gunged or slimed? It's slimed and gunged. Okay. That would be a funny thing to have them gunges, but it's literally just jizz. Yeah. Clunge gunge.

Ew. Yeah. That's disgusting, actually. It is, isn't it? Yeah. It's just not a good set of words together. It's the ear wrong. You know what?

It doesn't feel good to say. Clunge gunge gunge. I feel bad for anyone listening to this with their little whore daughter. so yeah it's a big set up everyone's really fancy dressed everyone's got their tits popping out lots of cleavage

yeah yeah yeah and there's like tits pop out and these women don't even pop it back in no just let wiggle around yeah yeah oh I wouldn't like that if I was like the Paul Blart at the scene you're like put that away I got pepper spray

yeah put that way pepper spraying her tits yeah I'm making a citizen's arrest so it's a big event, all right? And they've got a guy in a cowboy hat DJing. Okay. And then

the event starts to get Ari Spears. Yeah, he's like a... From Mad TV. He's a comedian. Fat black guy. Yes, he is. I'm a media like I like this guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets on and he does like an opening monologue. And it's interesting because it's... Not good.

It's not good, is it? No, not funny. He's trying to be like the kind of cool, oh yeah, I'm all about the fucking I whip my dick at the bitch be sucking and la la la la la and the porn stars are kind of like huh yeah yeah he did a reference to like

what's the show moving on the jefferson he's doing references that and all the girls there are like some of them are just legal yes yeah yeah what's he talking about jefferson i fuck the guy called jefferson is that who he mean yeah and i'd say a lot of people a lot of these people

imagine aren't straight edge I'd say there's a lot of pills being popped Yeah, I think you're probably right to assume that Yeah, yeah, yeah A lot of wine is being drank So they're probably not even in the mood for stand-up No, no Yeah, he had some funny bits

He had a bit where it's like, you know A white girl's like When she's sucking dick She's like, tee-hee, am I doing it right? Yeah And a black woman's like, wasting my damn Give me that dick Give it!

Yeah, come on, come already, Wasteing my damn time Yeah, that was kind of funny That's funny, yeah, yeah White girls suck dick like this Black girls suck dick like this And then he's like And a black guy

Suck dick like this And it I'm a kill you motherfucker So yeah he does it And then it's like The porn stars Then they get famous porn stars Who I never didn't recognize

To then And some of them do little funny bits Oh yeah There are any like sketches You know There was some sketches Yeah There was a sketch where

Ari Spears talked To like the porn star's asses A bit like Ace Ventura Ah okay Yeah And then there's another bit I didn't really understand The premise

of this sketch. It was like he was at like a support group for porn stars but then one of them starts masturbating because she's horny. Yeah, she's too horny. What's the support group? Like what are they struggling with? It's something, it's something silly. It's something silly. It's something silly. It's not like

I'm addicted to oxycon. Yeah. I mean a lot of them end up killing themselves and a lot of them were molested and a lot of them are drug addicts and amoral deplicitist horse. I think I think the sketch was they're addicted to big cock. Yeah, cockaholic. And Ari Spears is like, well, mine's big.

And you're like, no, it's not. Yeah. And then when the girl starts masturbating, because she's thinking about big cock. And Ari Spears is like, that girl crazy. And you actually see her, like, flicking the bean? You don't see her flick in the bean. You see her, like, rubbing her, like, panties. Okay.

So. Cowards. Yeah. Yeah. And then a lot of the porn stars, they're like, Hey, it's good to be here. Oh my God. 20-20.

It feels like last year. was a different decade. Ha ha. It actually was. You're right. Anyway, the nominations for best anal are...

Yeah, what are the categories? Best anal, best blowjob. Best newcomer. Best newcomer. Rookie of the year. Nooky of the year. Keep it going, baby. We're having fun here.

I'm knocking them out of the park. We're finally having fun. For the brief two seconds. Yeah. It's like stand. stuff, you know, best director. Yeah.

What's interesting is a lot of the girls is like, thank you, and a lot of guys are proper like, yes, thank you so much. I start with a dream. They're very Terry McMahon. Really? I started a young boy with a small dream and I worked on that dream and I made that dream. Like planting a seed in the woods and it grew

into a mighty tree. Thank you for this award. And I promise I won't let you down in my future. Yeah. I was just a young boy with a small dream and a big cock. And after I've been passed around, every football coach and priest in my local area, they were like, son, I've had my dick sucked by a lot of children, but you are something special. You got the talent, you got the brains, you're a leader, you can get your ass fucked for money. Yeah.

It's all kind of silly. Then, like, near the end, they're like best fucking, I don't know, diversity hire or something like that. Oh, really? Yeah, so best, uh, divest, best, uh, best, uh, best, uh, uh, best, uh, uh, uh, best, uh, uh, uh, uh, best, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, diversity something. Really, do they need that? Because I would say that's one area of the entertainment industry that has been

very inclusive. Almost too inclusive. Some might say, you know, there should be a limit or a quota. Only this many inches are allowed. Which water fountain is you getting fucked at?

Yeah, there's something like... Moving on up. It's something like best showing of diversity and LGBT matters. Something like that, which is weird, because they already had like best gay sex

and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, and then they had like some Doctor Who looking cunt, some cunt with a bowtie being like, thank you so much,

but we must continue fighting because LGBT issues are still an incredibly important. People are trying to take away our rights so we must continue to fight every day. And everyone in their, everyone of the awards show,

they're all having fun now, just feel sad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's kind of ruin the mood. And then they're like, okay, good, work. They wore

her biggest best black cock goes biggest best black cock yeah

and then at the end they get doja car he's a big name and she's

wearing something that it's almost beyond sexual it's like it's kind of like BDSM what with bright

colors it's a dress that is meant to look oh that sorry you're right yeah

sorry it's a dress that's meant to look like she's nude yeah and it's

very it it tricks the eye you're like is she actually naked there like it's very well done it's not like one of those funny aprons you know what I mean yeah this is like this will this could fool you very easily

if you were glancing at let's say I'm doing the dishes let's say I'm helping my kids with the homework all right and I glance at the TV I'm like is she naked here kids look at this put away that Pythagher's theorem is that a real bush yeah it's very well done

I like Doja Cat I don't have much experience with her I couldn't I don't know her at all Like I've heard the name But like I couldn't name you a single song Oh I couldn't name the songs So what do you like about her that Her tits

No songs I've heard I'm like Yeah I can groove with this Yeah You just said you can't name the songs by I can't name the titles But I can groove I click my finger

And like tap my phone down Okay well let's hear Sing it now Lay it down brother man Give me a beat so brother I couldn't sing the songs either Oh that's that's Convenient

Yeah I'm just pretending I don't know what Dota guy is I'm just pretending to be cool Yes But yeah No She's a big name

But like I think there is a really big push now Especially from like sort of Mainstream Female artists who are like You know Very big in feminism Like you know Respect sex workers

Sex workers Sex workers real work You know You shouldn't stigmatize It's crazy how in 2021 You still can't get weed And you still like can't pay for pussy.

Like, porn is still, porn is illegal to make in Ireland. Prostitution is illegal in Ireland. Well, like, have, yeah, I think it is illegal to make porn here. I need to double-check that now. I need to get my legal team on that. Okay. Have you ever seen any Irish porn? I've seen OnlyFans, yeah?

That's different, though. That's not like porn. See, OnlyFans is like a different little thing. I've seen amateur Irish porn. Where? What do you mean? Where? Just like fucking, like, you know, a camera phone video of somebody getting a blowjob?

Carla Fergaarda, she was doing that for a while. Yeah, that doesn't count, though. I'm talking about a real, like, porn set, you know, Pete, like, you know, like, uh, I'm here to deliver the chicken fillet rolls. Oh, I'll have mine with extra spicy chicken and some taco sauce. And it's like, is there any black chicken? No.

No burnt chicken here. Yeah. And then Brendan O'Carroll shows up as Mr. Wang. Oh, well, let me have a fight. in one and it's a double vaginal double anal penetration scene and he's like

oh five in one fought in one it is quite I always assumed there's no porn in Ireland like no proper like brazers no Irish brazzers

just because of Ireland's still pretty lame and none of the girls want to do it because Ireland's such a small town it's a small country so you know it's like everyone knows everyone

it'd be kind of like it's easier in America Eric, I feel like, I'm going to go to L.A. and do porn. Yeah, okay. Who gives a fuck, you know? Yeah, yeah. I was born in Ohio. I don't know. I'm pretty sure it is still legal to make under like the sort of the 1994 blasphemy act or something shit. I'm probably absent. He lost. Let's Google it right now.

Yeah, you Google it. Yeah, go on. Is it legal to make porn or? Because, yes, OnlyFans is a thing. But like, OnlyFans is very new for us anyway. Like, you know, it's only kind of in the last couple of years. People are like, only fans is a thing and you know we should respect the people to do it but you're on Nevo Connor like she's like

I bet she's making like 50 grand a month or something yeah fighting with the fighting with the Itgals yeah she's always fighting with them yeah it's so funny it gals will bury her yes we're an it gal's podcast remember yeah that's right I will fucking kill

for the it gal I don't with her names but I will kill I'll kill you Nevo uh yeah I'm I think you're right, yeah. Yeah. Because there's like obsendi laws and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. It's very much to do. It's very much to do with the Catholic Church as well, like, you know. That's such a shame. I'll tell you, though, when they finally repealed that, it's going to be a gold rush. There's going to be a poon rush in Ireland. It's going to be insane, like.

The pussy rush. Old prospector is coming in. My gosh, darn, darn, God, that's the best part piece of pussy I ever seen. I'm not even joking. I genuinely do want to do porn at some stage in my life. Really? Yeah, yeah. You want to, like, be a actor in porn?

No, well, I've taught about this. Or do you mean, like, a producer or director? No, no, actor, yeah. You want to fuck on camera? Yeah, I have no problem with that. Really? Yeah, yeah. I want to work out a little bit.

Okay. Just a little bit. Maybe, like, have a little, not even a six-pack, just a little... A bit more toned. I'd like to be a little bit more toned. Yeah. But after that, I'd have no problem on camera. I could go for, like, the Ron Jeremy.

And I was like, oh, he's a fat, ugly conch, but he's banging hot women. But here's the thing. I would want to have some kind of security first So the plan is when the podcast Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all part of the plane I haven't heard any of this This is the first time This is like, you know, we're in a smoke-filled room

With the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds cigar smoke and branding Yeah, so I'm gonna work out Get a nice tone, stomach And then I've got a fuck on camera That's how we rule the world Yeah Alright, sorry, go on tell me And you're going to have to watch the whole damn thing

The whole darn shooting match, I will. I'll be like Philip Seymour Hoffman and buggy nights. So like, I buy the same car at you. I try to kiss you and you're like, oh, no, James, we have a podcast together. You stupid fucking idiot. You're so stupid.

Anyway, sorry, tell me your plan. What's your plan? So I want to wait until we have in some way like enough Patreon money where like we can get by. Okay, yeah, I'd like that too. Yeah, okay. Because I don't want to do porn and then,

because what happens, this is sadly, what happens is like, girls do porn for like a year. Yeah. They stop. They try to get a job somewhere else and people like,

eh, no, thank you, Mrs. whore. You know, they can't get a job like teaching or

anything, okay? It follows them around. Definitely. So I want that security be like, okay, I can do porn.

I don't have to worry about everything goes tits up and I have to get a job like, you know, school janitor. And all the kids are like, poor,

whore, poor, janitor, whore. We saw your cock and left a lot. it left a lot to be desired i'll say that my cock's bigger and i'm 12 yeah yeah oh yeah let's have a cock off right now you and me let's go to death canyon and have a cock race yeah yeah so you do like a ski race

but you're jerking off the whole time so when we have something of security yeah and someone a fan base yeah i will do porn genuine i'd no problem i've no problem i'm i'm let's start this now let's actually you know you're saying let's wait to get the security i think if we like promote this is like if we like you actually make a promise to the fans if we hit a certain number of patrons like what what do you think you'd have to get to to go i want i'm going to do porn i think we've got 20 now yeah 23 not in this lifetime you're dreaming buddy you're dream paul marsh gets three more accounts it's an investment yeah

no like we could actually we could use this as I like a you know like a go fund me yeah it's our go fuck me or make a like make a wish yeah yeah so yeah ladies and gentlemen this is an exclusive

if you can you help yeah I'm like Jim will fix it I'm Jimmy Saville here we've got a little boy his old dream is to fuck on camera for money Let's make it happen

Well even when I was younger Remember I told you I used to show my dick to those men Yeah On camera You know that was a real old episode Maybe you say that Explain that again for the people The new people who are like listening

For the first time Yeah when I was younger I used to like jerk off with men And like show my dick on like Cam Yeah Used to cam with like older guys Not even for money

Chat roulette I know that's pretty lame I'll go for like cam four I think was the name of website So you What age you when you did this? Like 14 or something?

And you jerked off in front of old men on the internet. Yeah, yeah. I mean, technically you were groomed then. No. Yeah, yeah. This little bell, what a fag! He was groomed by old men

on the internet. Dork, dark, dark, dark. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm, oh no, I gotta do that. Oh, Ryan, I'm here for you. I want to hear you. You're so brave. Obviously on the podcast, I do that, but deep down.

Well, I was a little out. betraying a character sometimes I'll get lost in the character but really I was very empathetic to Brian we're how very special we're like no queer jeez the amount of queer is be like oh my God Brian

I'm so sorry to hear that you're supposed to be laughing you freak yeah all right so let's tell everyone what a queer you were Brian when you're showing your big Willie to their old men how did it? No I just did it like it's not really that good a story

Did they ask you to do it or did you... No, I was like, come on. Do you want to look at this? Yeah, and they're like, Brian, stop. It's already started. The process has begun. Metamorphosis. This is great, though.

So you, a 14-year-old Brown-Otool actually groomed old men on the internet. And they didn't like it at all. And I was like, yeah, no, I'm going to read. You always ever see the ring, I'm going to come out with a scream. In seven days you will come. But I just, I'm saying that. So I have no problem with it. And I genuinely, like, I want, again, I want to get a little bit more toned.

Yeah. Not even crazy. I don't want to look like Triple H. Okay. I could if I wanted to do. Oh, I know you could. Yeah, yeah. You're nearly there.

Yeah, I just want to get to a Pete Davidson level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even less than that. He's actually getting pretty ripped. Not rip, but he's getting like a six-pack and shit. He's also getting a lot of his tattoos removed. Yeah. For like movie roles.

Pussy. Be queer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, so, yeah, I'm all for this. I support your dreams. Well, I did consider putting a dick pick on Patreon. was like, well, if people don't want that, it's a bit, like, you know... Yeah.

It's a bit like... Maybe... I wonder if on Patreon is some way to, like, have, like, a thing where... If you click on this, you'll see Dick. Yeah, it's kind of like on Instagram. It's, like, sensitive image or some shit. It's like, you have to click on it. And then you're complicit.

Well, I would like to... I have... Actually, do have some video of me... Uh, not full fucking, but, uh... Okay. Some video on my phone and me doing stuff. Okay. Obviously, I can't post that because...

No. There's a girl involved. Yeah, yeah. Now the, the pencil pusher's got with their revenge porn laws. You know who did revenge porn? Who? Kim Kardashian's brother. Rob Kardashian?

Oh, of Black China. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, nice. Respect. So, you know, what, it's okay for Rob to do it, but not brined. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, and like, what would you just be guy on girl or? Oh, you know what?

get fucked by it? Would you do a dude? No. No. No. I, I, I, very, only hot women. Yes. Or Twinks. I think I, I, maybe do a twink on camera, I think. Okay. Yeah. Now you, I mean twink. Not, a twink. The lady.

Oh, the lady, twink. Yeah, yeah. And Dustin LaTurge, well, yeah, go take wet, ma'am. Yeah, so I think that that could be a thing we do at some stage, yeah. Well, look, ladies and gentlemen, you're hearing it here first. You have to help us. Help us help you. If you want to see Brian O'Toole Fuck on camera Then you go out there

So if you're not subscribed to the Patreon Do it Because the more subscribers we get The closer we get To see in Brian's tight little heads And big dick and balls Fucking Fucking fucking a cut

You know what I might actually ask I haven't talked to her a long time I might ask that girl Can I post this on It's on Is that a bit weird I mean can you see her Yeah full face like

Oh well then yeah That's weird they she will probably say no what if I blur I don't know how to blur you have no idea how to do that you just put your hand over her face on the screen

there done what's that thing you'll wait like you ever see that video like people like take Bill Hayter's face and they put Al Pacino's face on it deep fix yes I'll learn how the deep I'll make it like Bill haters sucking me off

yeah yeah I actually developed my own one called a deep cake where I just eat chocolate sponge because I'm a fat done pig onky yonky yonky

yonky die anyway yeah yeah I think that girl might not like no I don't

hear you are I'm gonna go out in a limb and say no but hey especially because there's also there's also

bit in it where like I come on her face and I hold up her passport and be like this is her

and you want to know her dress as well yeah but yeah no I'm excited about this I'm on the

first step I've got a job yeah I mean, I think, have you approached the people that have hired you? It's like, look, here's my five-year plan. Please help me achieve this, you know? It's funny because you've got pie charts and everything. In the interview, they did ask, like, what are your career goals?

And I was like, I'd like to get myself in a management position at some stage. Imagine if I was like, yeah, I'd like to be, you know, you know, Lana Rhodes? I'd like to be doing. I think that's a good business model. You know, Mia Khalifa? I want to be like her, basically. But I don't want to, like, in five years' time, go all bitchy about it and be like, oh, I was exploited, take down those videos.

It's like, bitch, you know what this was. Yeah. And the guys in the office, like, fucking, I like this kid. They give you the key to the executive bathroom. Yeah. So, yeah, that's something look forward to. I'm looking forward to that now. Yeah, I think this.

I'm like, how real is this? Now, are you just yanking my chair? No, no, no, I actually do. Because I believe you. Yeah, no. People, I think people underwent. I have no problems with size of my penis or anything. Is it a big dick?

It's not, no. But you've never thought it's small. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you're happy with the size of the dick. You know that there's bigger dicks out there, but you're happy with what you got. Now, I'd rather I didn't know. I'd rather I didn't know it was bigger dicks. Yeah, kind of like Plato's Cave, you know, yeah.

It's like the shadows on the wall of your dick. That's a very highbrow reference. These dogs won't understand. And this is a free episode. I know, yeah, yeah. Want me to do the voice again? What are we out now? We're like over an hour.

Okay, right. So we're going to start wrapping up now a second. But yeah, I think I genuinely would quite... I have considered asking, you know, I get with a hooker every now and again. Yeah. Have considered asking her, can I film it? But that's always like extra and stuff like that. Oh, is it?

Yeah. They probably wouldn't want you to release it, though, would they? As long as they don't show the face. Okay. That one American key? you know her she was on Tommy Tiernan Oh yeah Yeah we were didn't we

I was actually talking to her about organized something But like she went to America then She's back now but yeah So I'll tell you what I'm going to talk to her I'm going to try Because she puts full nudes on Twitter all the time Yeah yeah yeah So yeah I'll try and fuck her on camera

And give it to you guys on Patreon Well no I thought we were going to try our range Like were we do an episode Whether we're going to interview Yeah that was smoking mirrors James That I just wanted to get her in the room Oh okay nice Then I can charm her

Nice, yeah By Charmer, I mean pay her I'm going to use the old Brian O'Toole charm Madam, here is a blank check I will pay any amount for you to piss on me Do you want a field?

Yeah, I can give you You know what as well? A good road frontage She's a Cincinnati Reds fan Okay Baseball, so I can mention that Yeah, yeah So any porn or baseball fans

Head to the Patreon Yeah, yeah, so I'm looking forward to this I personally can't wait to watch you fuck on camera. Yeah. Can I be on set? Can I be the fluffer? Yes. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can be the Bert Reynolds, the Philip Seymour Hoffman, the Colonel. I'll be, I'll be roller girl. I'll be all of them. All of them at once. And like, American Kate's like, what's his deal? He doesn't take off the skates. Does he have to do that, boss?

Hello, American Kate. So nice, for me, too. He's a very confused young man. all right well this is a fun one I kind of went a bit all over the place I like sometimes

with a freestyle one like this you don't know where you're going to end up no idea at the end up doing porn yeah hey it's a wild and crazy ride hey uh good luck guys

good luck goodbye head over what have you got coming up oh I tell you what we got coming up Indiana Jones yeah that'll be good I'm going to do Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Arce Temple of Poo and the last Crucid Quails Yeah Nailed it

Perfect Yeah