Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 129 : A Tribute to Benny Hill

Episode Date: September 18, 2021

Boxing/Norm Macdonald/Benny Hill

All right. We're back. We're back in the podcast, having fun. We had a little moment there, a little breakdown. Brian got all. Brian was like, he came into, because we're in a new gaff now and Brian's like, oh, this won't do at all. Yeah.

You just came in and just like, you're ruining my wedding. So yeah, now we're just, this is what I've been reduced to, Brian. Describe it for the audience, okay? The audience, they're horny. They want to hear this, okay. How best to contextualize my new. abode have you ever seen the people

under the stairs that sort of cult favorite 90s horror comedy starring who the fuck's in that again I actually haven't seen it yeah it's not good

that's not the one with the midgets did it there might be midgets in it yeah there's a whole thing it's like these like these guys break into a gaff and then it turns out the gaffs inhabited by freaks

and weirdos and it's one of the kids there's a little black kid in it and he was in what? No, just like freaks and weirdos and a black child. The black kid,

he's along with the crew that are breaking into the house. Okay, right, right. Another stereotype. It's interesting that, so they have like a group of adults who are like breaking enter and they have the kid with them.

It's like he can get into little nooks and crannies and then if they get bored or horny. No, that's the subtext. But he was in The Mighty Ducks. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, but that's where I'm living.

Well, your house is not the Mighty Ducks, James. No, no, no. Maybe Mighty Ducks three. That's how you can describe this house. It's fine. Look, it's fine. It's just not as nice and clean as the other one, but it is considerably cheaper. It's cheaper. And look, let's be honest, this podcast isn't exactly paying the bills, is it? Well, it will if we put money into it.

All the fucking cheapskates, listen to this one, not subscribe to the Patreon, have forced me to live into this, move into this little crack dungeon. I think you fake it till you make it. So when you were living in the nice house, people have guests over, and they were like, oh my God. Some people would, like, you know, Larnie, Kevin Larnie was over and he's like, wow, James will be doing really well. Oh my God. Really? Is James a millionaire? And I was like, yes, he is, yeah.

He is, yes. He buys me diamonds. Diamond studded dildos. It hurts, but my God, it's extravagant. I just think that like if we bring guests over here, they might get sad. Yeah, you know, kind of like at the end of a gig, they pass a bucket around and throw change in. That's what we can do at the end of every podcast, just pass the bucket around. They throw a bit of money in. Yeah, it's true. Look, I'll be honest, it's a downgrade, but what can

I tell you, you know? I tell you what, I thought it would be fun for the podcast, but James threw water on my idea. Oh, what? Is I thought it might be fun if you hired a cleaner. Yeah. Hired a nude cleaner. Yes. It's like, it's a nude cleaning service you can get. Yeah. I thought that might be a wacky thing. Well, I, every listener can enjoy. I disagree, and I'll tell you why because one that's kind of inconsiderate of the other people that live here two like the fact that they're topless is the gimmick so they could do a really bad job cleaning your house and you can't say anything because like well i had my tits out so what's your problem and uh you know three disrespectful of sex workers because you know it's not even sex work you don't even get to

bang them it's not the easy version she takes her tits out and cleans the house probably does a bad job I can't touch her and you know I get bored it's like do I just to get my money's worth really I'd have to

just watch her the entire time which is like boring it's like watching paint dry but the paint has tits no it's more like

it's not she's not the show she just adds to the mezen scene of the house okay so if you just got she adds to the stank of that house so like

if you add to the whole environment of like you're watching the footy you know drinking a few cans there's a girl cleaning where her tits out you don't even care that's what you pay for

the element of I don't even care that's what appeals to me you're paying to ignore a naked woman yeah yeah but you don't I could pay attention to if I wanted to but I'm so powerful I think I don't know what type of person this appeals to

seemingly you you sound like you would really enjoy this no I'd get I try to make small talk with her and she probably wouldn't she'd be like I'm trying to clean yeah And I probably get a bit awkward. I try and be like, do you like the people under the stairs?

Do you do grout work? Or what's your policy there? Get up on the roof. Yeah, yeah. I really just get your money's worth out of it like. So anyway, I think this episode will do a nice little tribute to a comic legend who died. Oh shit, yes. Benny Hill.

Benny Hill. Yes. Gone far too soon. We were watching some Benny Hill and people are like, what about Norm? Shut up. Who? Yeah. That guy.

that guy what? The Burt Reynolds guy cares about that Yeah spewing hate Yeah

I mean We're joking around But that was a rough one Now I gotta say It was so Unexpected Because he didn't tell anyone So it's just like

I mean When I saw it first pop up In my feed I audibly went What the fuck Like I was like Visib Like you know

upset You know Because it feels like Something stolen from me Yes Yes It's kind of annoying Because we didn't get

that many hours of stand-up from him. No. I wanted more shit from him, and it's kind of like, I just realized life is unfair. Yes, it is. And we're left with, who are we left with, fucking Jack Whitehall and Russell Howard? They'll live for a hundred years, but Norm dies at 60.

It's just, it's not right. It's sad. Didn't drink or do drugs. He just gambled and smoked a lot. He smoked a lot. Yeah, he was a big smoker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And gambling, like, he lost everything a couple times. three times what a legend yeah that's awesome hey i've lost all my money hey yeah who i was thinking about this on the drive up it's kind of depressing that i can't take in many people who out like

norm is like one of the handful of people that like when they died i got an emotion you know i was like oh shit yes there's very few people that i'd really give a fuck yeah including my family yes i should give a fuck if they died yeah yeah yeah yeah like Most people if they died, I think, like, how can you use this to benefit me? Yeah, yeah. Can I get some sympathy pussy? Can I, if I cry somewhere, will I get... Did you try when Norm died?

We just, like, drunk dialing hoars. Let me smash. Norm's dead. It's for Norm. Haven't you seen dirty work? It's actually a lot better than people give it credit for. Call me turd Ferguson. But, yeah, what, so who...

Yeah, who actually out there is very few, I think... Gandalfini? that one well no i mean who in the future no people who are dead now okay yeah

who's left that you actually give a fuck about I can't think of money I mean just for childhood nostalgia

maybe Jim Carrey I love Jim Carrey as a kid like we proper loved them Eddie Murphy would be another one I'd put in that

category as well yeah if they died tomorrow Chappelle Chappelle will be a bad one Louis yeah you know uh who

maybe like Larry Larry David Larry David um Not Seinfeld. Wouldn't care about Seinfeld. Seinfeld, you know, the kind of head tilts like, huh.

You had a good run. Yeah. You had a good run. You got that girl of big tits. Yeah. It was worth it. I mean, do you know how lucky you are to get a 17-year-old with titty's that juicy? It's,

oh, actually, speaking of girls at big tits, okay? I've just remembered what we can talk about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever heard of Morgana? Morgana. Yeah. Oh, the fucking vampire bitch? No, no.

That's like, I think her name's like Vampirella. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. thinking of. Morgana, okay. Let me tell you the story of Morgana. Hit me. This is the story of Morgan.

This is our tribute to Norm MacDonald. This is the story. The tale of Morgana, the tale of two titties. Ah? Are we all right? Am I right? Come on. Come on, people.

What am I doing here? What am I doing wrong? Should there be more references to Russian literature? Well, then I'll be a genius, will I? Yeah, okay. So Morgana, okay. Born in a hard life. born in the city

rough city drugs and guns and explosions and the police and the white man yeah okay um

she's white oh okay yeah a white woman the most insidious evil of all exactly this is a good one okay so she

I think bad dad bad mother parents are in them prison and shit like that right but she had one special gift big tits really yeah she was 13 years old 13 years old and she had big massive tits when are we talking here uh i think 70s oh yes

okay that's the right i tell you the 70s loved that didn't it this is how much they loved it she became almost like an elephant man where they tour her around the country i'd be like look at the amazing 13 year old with big tits and people like oh my god oh wow this is amazing and the elephant man was like what about me shut So, yeah, she became famous. For being 13 years old at Big Tits. Yeah, yeah. But then...

Kind of like Millie Bobby Brown. No, no. She's a dog. Drake wishes he was back in the 70s. Yeah, did Drake fuck her? Oh, no, Drake hasn't fucked her yet. Wink, wink. Yeah, yeah.

I think Drake's so big, he definitely can, like, stick it in as the clock strikes, you know, 12, you know, when she just turns... Count down to 18. yeah he had that for uh the mary kate and alsoson twins yeah yeah god what a what a time to be alive eh anyway well this girl morgana okay she was 13 big tits big star okay sure but then she you know she's 14 15 yeah yeah yeah people people are leaving you see other things okay yeah yeah yeah there's a nine year old with a giant gunt you gotta see this it's unbelievable this is also back in the day where like you'd have these kind of variety of shows where it's like uh i A juggler, a girl with big tits than a comedian. Yeah. And you'd have to, like, follow Morgana and be like... Take my wife, please.

So, um, she's like, she's like 16 now. Yeah. She's not as popular. All used up. Yeah, she gets fake tits. Really? Yeah. Still not as popular.

Wait. Does she get them bigger? Bigger. Oh, okay. Yeah. Even bigger her. Wow. Yeah. And like, obviously, you know, she was a child, but because it was,

was the 70s were people like fucking are having a pop I would imagine there's literally no way they weren't yes it's completely unavoidable how the fuck completely unavoidable

unless she was in like no I was going to say if she was like I was going to say like if she was I was going to say like if she was Amish and lived with a bunch of Amish people but she still began fuck like probably more so yeah yeah yeah you know but you got to think about like Studio 54 I mean the bouncer just sees those titties she's not getting carded

you know yeah but also like she's doing she's going all around the country so she's just like yeah I'm in Nebraska night with a bunch of guys from Nebraska and they're not like oh if I do this was affect my career she's going on a country wide tour

am I right people hello hello my baby hello my honey hello my ragtime gal and the frog's got big tits okay so 16 fake tits They're not doing

People are not doing People are like Oh I've seen fake tits before Boring Yeah Then she gets a bright idea She's going to start Running out

On baseball fields Naked Not naked But with no brass So they'll be jiggling Okay And kiss the baseball players Right

She said that will like They'd be like Oh it's that Morgana girl I remember her Okay So she did it once They broke her collarbone kicked her in the head

and grabbed her tits. Who? The security. They're having a great day. There's pictures of them proper like just like kicking her head and there's another one that's going honk a honk

and they have like the wacky sound effects and little speech bubbles like honk honk but this is almost like Rocky so they battered her they fucked her up she didn't quit

she did it again and again and again and eventually everyone just got used to her and they stopped breaking her collarbones. She was still a child at the time? No, she would have been like 20-something now. Oh, wow. She would be like, maybe like at most like 25 or something like that.

Right, right, right. And eventually she became almost like a novelty then where the players were like, did pay for her bail. Oh, okay, it became like a fun thing. Yeah, it became a fun thing that everyone was like, oh, and it became a thing that was like, oh, I hear will Morgana show up tonight? Oh, I hope she does. Yeah.

And if she does, they're like, Morgana, yeah. Dad's bring their little sissy kids. It's like, Morgana will put them on the right track, you know?

I don't like this Morgana, dad. I love her outfit, though. Bro. The dad's like, okay, you gotta break her collarbone. That'll fix you.

She became so big that she's actually in that bowling movie Woody Harrelson. Kingpin? Yeah, yeah, she's in Kingpin. In Kingpin,

she runs up and kisses Woody Harleson. Oh, okay. Yeah. and then this is the best thing ever okay she got really big from that she was doing loads of different sports she did basketball kissing basketball players right um

I think uh like all different things as well I think ping pong and shit you know silly things okay and then she just stopped okay she made enough money just stopped fair okay I can respect that that's almost that's very respectful and then she just like never seen again is she still alive yeah oh wow she lives in this did what he just had her money was like

okay fuck you I'm going to live A bit like Joe Rogan Okay She bought like a ranch Somewhere Just like chilled out DMT

Yeah Put her titties In a flotation tank Yeah Nice Yeah that's Morgana there Why are we talking about Morgana?

I don't know Someone brought up Seinfeld Someone brought up Yeah Kids I was going to say Yeah

Someone brought up children of big tits. Yeah But because you asked Who would die Who would be sad About what about you Do you have anyone Who would die

That would bomb you out anyone you've already said yeah Larry David Scorsese would bum me out even though he's old but every now and again you do think like

this is really the last Corsese film yeah I think this next one it kind of has to be right unless he does a Clint Eastwood thing who thought Clint Eastwood still be making movies in his 90s

but you know what's funny about Scorsese is he's not doing what you expect where he's like I'm older now I'll do small you know intimate dramas

he's doing like the biggest movies of his career now yeah yeah it's it's like an old guy's like i'm going to use state of the art facial technology and like people are like oh what about the bit where the near a walked weird new irish man's like there's a 90 year old man directing this like cut him some slack yeah yeah so cut him a little bit of slack yeah and even this new one now it's like um the flowers killer flowers in the moon flower killer moon cunts wherever that's like a couple of hundred million budget or something like

It's like crazy and it's like an eight-month shoot. It's a massive project. What's, is it Apple TV or something? It's Apple, because no one else will fund it. Right. Because it's too big and they're like, he's probably going to die. He's like, I'll show you. Yeah, yeah, it'd be funny if he died now, though.

Well, it's already done now. Okay. He's a few reshoots. You always forget Francis Ford Coppola is still alive. And he's still kicking around being like, you know, oh, my next film is going to fucking. He thought Godfather 2 was good. Get ready for Jack 2. Godfather, I call that practice.

he's made some awful shite his next film is going to be $100 million and it's going to be called like Metropolis something like that and it's going to be like a big robot movie

Oh Yeah big science fiction robot movie There is like There is like a German expressionist film from like the 20s called Metropolis That's all Oh then this one's called Megatropolis He's like I'm going to top that

Oh right I just assumed it was like a remake or something But it was considered very influential like Tim Burton and Fincher and David Lynch who all loved it you know We watched it in college a little bit

What's the story of that? It's like a robot And she's like Don't know I didn't watch that shit I just went out the back And blazed a doobie Oh my God Slow ride

Do do do do do Take it easy No I didn't watch it You pull a whitey in the hallway Call the police I know the man that sold it to me Yeah Jim Carrey got me high

he gave me syphilis and then got me hooked on dodgy weed yeah yeah who else would like care about if they died yeah norm was really number one normal it was a rough one man because he was so good he was like he was great he was great

he was great and honestly if you think otherwise you got a dog brain you know it was quite funny going online and seeing like a lot of just one Asian girl was going off of him and she was like the way he talked about Courtney Smith when she was promoting

the Carrotov movie was disgusting Wait was that Remember the Conan bit? Yeah yeah She wasn't even talking about him Or he wasn't even talking about her He was slagged Carrotop And then he said

Yeah Chairman of the Board It's probably spelled B O RED Yeah no that's that's rape Oh yeah that's the way she was acting As it's like her Basically Norman Conan Held her down on TV

And raped her by disrespecting carrot top Yeah but that's the way you want though When you die you want some people who are like He made me want to kill myself That's what you want Yeah yeah Richie I'd hate if I died

And it's just like a bunch of people being like He was the best I loved him Don't think you gotta worry about that my friend No it's my biggest fear I don't want to be too I don't be universally loved Yeah yeah I want some people to be like you know

Okay I still have PTSD from what he did to me Yeah Yeah Yeah That's why I know I've done a good job

Yeah Well there was There's always But like On the day he died As well People are like Oh we shouldn't forget

How problematic He was like Why Because he made some jokes What was the Problematic thing He said Like he made jokes

But no But like What actually Like What was it Was it like When he was it like Oh

There's T's and Bs And I love him all Remember that clip No Was there I don't know. Yeah, like, he just talked. He was kind of like talking shit or like making dark jokes.

I tell you now, there's like some trans people now. I'm just like, you're doing it wrong. You're, you're a bad trans person. I need to teach you how to do it right. How would you, what would you do? Stop being a little cunt. That's what I'd say. Remember when the 90s when being trans was cool?

Yeah. Remember that? It was like, RuPaul and I was like, oh, you got a problem with this officer? Yeah, kits and a cock. Yeah, take that. It's a real. Kineat buffet. Yeah, trans people used to be having fun.

Okay, I imagine. It was always great for trans people. It's coming from a guy who was born in 1995. I'll tell you how it was back in the 80s for trans people. Being the trans people, all in the club together, watching It's Pat, and we were loving it. God, you're really, you love It's Pat, don't you? Yeah, it's great. I actually, I was chatting to a really cool trans guy a couple days ago, and I convinced

them that it's good. Okay. Maybe he was just nodding and. You know, because I was quite loud at the time. Had a broken bottle in your hand. Yeah, I was quite drunk and bludering. And eventually he was like, okay, it's good, Brian, leave me alone. Yeah.

But, yeah, I just think, like, there's loads of trans people who are like, I love norm. There's a few bad apples out there. They're like, he made me cry. Yeah, yeah. This is the problem, okay, because then we, people only focus on those ones. They're like, oh, I guess all trans people are unfunny, humorless cuns. Yes. And it's not.

It's not the case. And that's why almost like I need to lead the trans people into the right direction, like Moses. Like a Pied Piper figure, you know? Sort of like Because nothing he said was actually hateful.

No. I was shocked a few people who were like, well, I do think he hated them though. And I was like, show me some proof. What are you talking about? And they were like, oh, I just heard it on Twitter they hated it.

Yeah, exactly. He made jokes. He made off-color jokes that were just jokes. That's it. you know what I mean and you know what the fucking guy

was battling cancer for nine years and he never fucking complained about it never did a little cry yeah nothing like that like massive respect

for that yeah no norm norm is great now I really wish we had a couple extra stand-up specials though yeah because I was hearing a few people

talking about norm and they were like talking about bits he done there's a lot of bits he done they were like oh I love that bit you can't find anywhere

now yeah it was sad to see that him being forced to basically go on an apology tour when his Netflix show came out, remember that? Yeah, well.

Because, like, he basically said something like, because Roseanne and Louie, you know, were being, you know, they were in the headlines and he was like, oh, you know, maybe we should like cut them some slack and they were like, you demon man, I hope you have cancer.

Well, I've got good news for you then. But even during all that, when he's been raked over the colds for, you know, stupid innocuous bullshit, he never brought he never jumped on the whole oh i've got cancer you can't get mad at me he just he took his lumps he didn't say shit and he kept on very funny where he was like uh remember he did down syndrome comment dog what was that remember he was like oh i wouldn't want to offend anyone he has to be down syndrome i want to offend someone yeah he said he said that instead

of retarded because he thought he'd get in trouble for retarded yeah yeah yeah he got in trouble for down so you tell you you can't appease them can you it's uh yeah he's definitely number one on the list he was fucking great he was great and like nobody was in on his level or in his league kind of like the way Stuart Lee is in British stand-up I can't wait till Stuart Lee dot because I actually

have been thinking about this like Stuart Lee has said the N-word is act yes I remember oh I tell you now I'll say verbatim right now I tell you now I've got a recording on my phone of him saying the N-word and he better watch out okay because let's just see I might leave it on the capital steps

but it's just you're recording a YouTube video with your phone I've got a surreptitiously recording no it's me being like oh actually the video is not working

I just say it myself okay so this is me being Stuart Lee I love you bloody be oh yeah like Stuart Lee it's only a matter of time

it's going to be quite funny when they're like Stuart Lee needs to be cancelled yeah maybe we should do that now That'd be good. Let's go after Stuart Lee. Yeah. I wouldn't want to.

That, um... I wouldn't feel good about that. I know there's a lot of people to do it for that as well. It's like, oh, I can get some clout by trying to cancel this guy. Yeah, well, that's literally it like, because you've got nothing going on. So, like, well, I'll go after him and then it's kind of like, it's kind of like I'm helping people. Yeah. No, you're not.

It's kind of like going to Africa and helping children in a way. You know, it's equally good. I'm like Rosa Parks, but, you know, I get a... I get a show out of it, so it's good. Yeah, I don't really, uh, I deliberately haven't watched too much norm stuff, uh, after he died. I was like, nah, I'm going to save that for a rainy day, you know, if that happens. If, if, if I'm ever depressed, which probably won't happen. Yeah, I, well, I was watching a good bit of norm stuff now, uh, you know, it's a movie with, like, him and Chappelle and Danny DeVito.

Yeah, what's it? Something like SNAP. Screwed or something? Screwed, yeah. Obviously, it's not good or whatever, but I, uh, you know, it's a movie. still want to check it out. He had a lot of chances. Yeah. And you kind of forget, he had two sitcoms.

Yeah, I think the Norm show was pretty well regarded, though, was it? Did you ever see Richard Pryor on the Norm show? Oh, God. Oh, I actually won't play it for you. What is that, like, the 90s? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, like, because when you think of Richard Pryor, you think very still and mumbly.

Yeah. Oh, that's Richard. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a two-minute clip But he plays like a guy In a wheelchair who can't move And can't really talk that well Yeah

And a kind of joke is that Like he's like throwing stuff at norm When he's not looking Oh, I see, right But it's very obvious when it's a dummy When it's like a back of the headshot Of him doing something And when that back

You know Richard Pryor's in Lost Highway as well Yeah I keep forgetting he did other stuff Why he was all spastic He even, like, I think it was like 2002. He's like, he went back, he went on a tour or whatever. I've heard people describe that tour as like awful. Obviously, because he's like completely incapacity.

He's not doing any act outs. You know, I don't find this quite as biting as his earlier work. That'd be so funny to be an actualist mean like that. I ain't never going to say the word. You know the word I'm never saying it again Yeah He's quite funny

To like boo him He's not even walking You suck Yeah Yeah But yeah But yeah So he was on

I haven't heard That many good things About Norm the show It only lasted like What Two seasons Three I think Oh three

Oh I don't know That's fairly good For sitcom If you're right Yeah Then you had a different show Called A Minute With Stan Hooper

What was that You ever hear about that Oh what's that I think it's a bit I think it's a bit ahead of his time It was meant to be like A sitcom

but Norm, I heard Norm talking about it so we meant to start off like a normal sitcom Right And then as it went on Things got weirder and weirder

I think the Later on you find out The premises They're actually in a sitcom Oh like they can't leave the town And people keep getting recast and stuff Oh sounds interesting And I think like

One season probably No it lasts like seven episodes It's cancelled But I think I heard Norm's saying that Like he wanted to have like It's a slow turn into like someone get like he wants to have like people getting murdered and shit and just like

deliberately like confuse the audience with it yeah if you're going to do that he he he i think his plan was he wants to have it over a whole season right which last seven episodes so and then he had like those kind of like chat shows he yeah he had a good run this podcast is good anyway whatever he had norm macdonald sports show which is really funny and that got cancel as well so he couldn't catch a break also the cancer couldn't catch a break well and then you know the whole oj thing. He basically got fired because the guy, fucking, the guy the head of NBC was like, hey, stop telling

OJ jokes, he's my friend. And then he refused to do that. So then he got fired. Plus, that was a big thing as well. He enjoyed breaking the rules and doing the opposite of what he was told to do. So he got he was given a lot of chances, but he shot himself in the foot a lot too. Well, no.

He followed the rules when he actually respected it. Like when he was doing Letterman, let's say. Well, yeah. It wasn't he was like, oh, take this letterman, uh, and like,

ripped the picture of the Pope and half, you know, he wasn't doing anything like that. He wasn't like, I'm gonna burn an American flag.

Fuck you, Letterman. That Letterman said is so good and then he starts crying and I'm like, ugh, I don't know. I think like,

Norm wasn't a, like, he put on this faggot facade, what? A Freudian slip there me thinks.

He put on this for, homo of, of, of being like this kind of like this kind of like snarky kind of guy he liked to pretend he was

dumb he liked to pretend like I don't read and stuff like that he was a smart guy literate also a very emotional guy and a very loving guy and that's why when I see the people who are like spewing hate what's wrong with you

honestly what but then here's the thing though I have to always take a step back and be like well this person is upset about something else norm McDonald didn't ruin their life. No. It's something else. I think it was, they were probably

seeing, you know, an outpouring of sort of grief and respect. Well, they didn't like the dude energy. I saw that as well. Yeah, yeah. It's also some Asian girls say that. It's like, it's a very dude energy.

No women even liked him. Yeah, which is not true. I know, like, I know three women. I, you know, I pulled a knife on them and said, do you like Norm? And they're like, yes. Do you like a minute with Stan Hooper? It was too bad for my tastes

All right, I'll agree with you I'll only cut you once and then you'll leave Yeah, but no, like, okay, fair enough These women that I know are like comedians But like they were You know, so I wouldn't go Like, I don't think it was just men that like Norm I'm sure he had lots of female fans that weren't comedians

You know But he's just sort of like weird and esoteric And you know, it's just like an original fresh perspective You never knew where he was going that's the thing with Norm like that's what was so appealing about it he couldn't really predict where his act would go

yeah but whatever look he was just and he loved like kind of I wouldn't even call it anti-comedy he just knew the rules of comedy in the way it should go and he loved like yeah you know not doing a set up not explaining something right on purpose deliberately like derailing the story

that's why he was so great with like Conan yeah because Conan always knew exactly when to just listen and when to play like the kind of like oh Norm you got you're pissing off the advertiser norm you come on norm this story's too long norm you gotta stop norm show her respect she was in the jersey shore well i think she was in the jersey horr oh norm what do you think andy oh i want i want chocolate yeah fucking andy what's his name richter rickter oh what a worthless specimen yeah he's always depressed as well that's quite funny yeah Some girl was like Hey y'all Depression ain't real

And she was She had like 12 followers And Andy Rector Who's like a multi-millionaire He's like You fucking whore Oh how dare you It's like relax pal

He got divorced from his wife there as well His wife literally just looked The only a sketch We're like Let's see in a sketch It's like oh here's James's wife And it's you in a wig Yeah

That's what That's what his wife looked like Hey You know Don't knock it you try it when do you see me in a wig it'll change your life yeah

yeah he got the I think he said his wife shit on him once oh it was in like no not in like a funny way took a shit on him yeah when he's asleep

I think I heard that's disgusting and he was like oh that's my wife no I mean I think I'm not for domestic violence or beating up women but if a woman takes a shit on you

I think you should be allowed to give her the back of the hand At the very least make her eat the shit At the very least Right clean it up But have your tits out Yeah Oh I just had a brilliant idea

For a business A woman goes around Shitting on men What? Anyway See I subverted the expectation Just like Norm Yeah Norm MacDonald

RIP One of the greats of all time Yeah I like now that like so Norm McDonald's dead and now instead of just like

oh he's a he's a good comic one of the best and that's it now it's almost become like a culture war thing where it's like

as it always is yeah where it's like oh you like Norm Macdonald yeah that's a red flag ladies

I guess we know what side your bread is buttered aka you're evil let me guess you love fight club and Wolf of Wall Street

like yeah because they're the best it's my religion They're pretty good films. Oh, you rapist. What? Yeah.

I do love now how people can just like easily just be like, you like that? Well, you are the worst person who ever lived. You probably rape children and murder them because you like the movie with... I'm calling the police. You like the moth joke. I don't even understand the moth joke because I'm retarded and that makes me angry. I'm going to blame him. Yeah.

Oh, that's so true. You see a lot of that and I was like, oh, you enjoy this well. Yeah. I'll just assume all this stuff about you. It's funny is like... You know, what's funny, Brian, now if I were to make assumptions about certain people, let's say any particular person, be the specific gender race. Now, if I were to make assumptions on their character based on, you know, incidental information,

I would be labeled somewhat problematic. But these hoars can do it willy-nilly and it's just fine and dandy. Well, what a wonderful little world we've created for ourselves here. Yeah, it's so funny. People literally like,

oh, I love the post with Norm MacDonald but I don't want to be associated with the evil, the Canadian evil. It's funny because he loved trans people. Did he? Yeah, Caitlin Jenner on. that's the wrong type of trans The fact of you like Caitlin Jenner

is actually even more evil Yeah It'd be better if you drove her out in an SUV killing them Instead of having her on Yeah Yeah Norm was like

I think people have this idea Norm was a little bit like I mean he was like a little bit religious He definitely was a little bit conservative Yeah and like You know But like he he loved everyone

Yeah he wasn't like a hateful person And you know He definitely didn't make like you know what you could consider offensive jokes well give me an example though that's the thing people keep bringing it up but not give me an example so like well he did say a lot of hurtful things like give me an example give me an example or I'm burning down your house

well like uh you know he'd talk about you know gay stuff like he'd say like fag and stuff a lot like and you know whatever say it near the end hopefully he said it was the last word yeah what was the name his co-host was it Adam Adam he got he's so funny it was like Adam Eke's like come here

bring Adam in you're a fang that's so warm but whatever like it was always within the confines of a joke and he was always very aware of the fact that he was saying it is bad and that's why it's funny which is what kind of what

you know lots of people do it doesn't mean that you believe horrible things if you say something horrible because it's funny in the moment. It's like relax. What is calling Andy Richter gay, is that like homophobic?

Because if it is, I'll tell you, I don't want to be not homophobic, tell you that. Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, whatever. That's a little tribute to Norm there. It's not good enough.

No. But... Nothing is. Yeah, yeah. Norm was the only good thing we had left. Us, you know, us straight dude, us manly men.

Us absolute bro dog just flinging hogs. I am so manly James We're wild hogs over here I'm Martin Lawrence your William H. Macy Yes No, I'm only William H. Macy and Boogie Nights

That's more my level I'm Tim Allen Whipbubbubbbbbbbbbbb Yeah he was the last Good guy left Everything else is now just shit Yeah It's true

And like I try I try to think like no So let's say like I went on Twitter and you got angry Like some people Yeah That's Norm wouldn't want me to do that No You know

Norm would think that was stupid If I was like Norm they're saying Oh I'm so angry I gotta fight them for your honor norm What are you a fuck? That's what Norm would say Yes Norm

Norm keep saying it Make me stronger Like Popeye with the spinach Da da da da da da da da da da da da Okay, well, let's move on from Norm because it's funny, this was going to be a Benny Hill episode.

Yeah. And then Norm died, and I was like, aw. Well, we couldn't not mention it. We're only 37 minutes in, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I might cut out a little bit of start.

Okay. I like to cut out the start and it just starts with us, like, talking. You like to cut out the start and the end and a lot of stuff in the middle. Yeah, yeah,

and it's always for the best. Do you think? I take, if I send you the stuff that I cut out, you'd be like, and it's not because it's like, it's so extreme. it's the Pentagon

and found out about this oh my God no it's always just like this is like not really you know what we do a lot is if we can't think

about it and we go yeah yeah I know what you mean yeah yeah we do that don't we yeah

it's a lot of that yeah even in bits that are good like cut out a lot of that yeah a lot of that

like yeah I really make I make the show sing do you really You know what, I'm Steve Jobs and you're the little kid in... I'm Wozniak?

No, you're the little kid in China building the phone. You're doing all the work and trying to jump out the window and I'm like, get back in there. Oh, I try so hard to make a phone so good for you. Yeah, I'm in the little workshop making offensive stereotypical voices and I try to jump out the window. It's a one story. Yeah, but Morgana is at the bottom and I just bounce on.

off her tits and go back in the window yeah anyway okay so this is going to be about Benny Hill Benny Hill

from one comic genius to another so Benny Hill I didn't know much about him no me neither you know you kind of

you can't know you can't know and just like woman walks by with big tits laugh track that's the show so I did a bit of research

in Benny Hill because we were watching some videos in your old gaff back in a good old days yeah that weekend where you refused to leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just didn't want to go home and I was like, what have I got, what have I got, do you want to see my family this weekend? I was supposed to move out much earlier on the Sunday, but I couldn't leave until you left. That's what I was hoping.

I was like, you know, you leave and I was close the door and I was like, now we can, now the fun can begin. Boit up on a bang to bang, dinky, dinky. Yeah, no.

I don't think they would have. Old man, Cairdon is gone. I don't think. they would have put up with you for too much longer. I think I could really push it. Yeah? I think Evans on my side, yeah. I think Evan's a little bit too much.

Leanne is more like the sensible one, okay? Evans, I think it's a bit too starstruck by us. That's right, yeah. I think we could scam him. You know what it would be great now if it turns out he didn't actually like the podcast. He just pretended. I would respect him so much more. That would be so funny.

He unsubscribes with the Patreon. He's like, you guys are fucking weird. The end. I don't understand it. I don't like it. you're not as good at the voices as you think you are james yeah he's like you're no rich little that really hurts oh god yeah that would hurt anyway back to benny hill so we stuck on some benny hill it was just me and james uh bolt hard yeah i was taking uh opiates and uh i was edging

yeah and i told i put on some benny hill because i thought like oh just be so shit we can laugh with it. I mean it wasn't great but it was interesting to watch like this was big for like 28 years yeah it's like the number one show on television for like 17 years I didn't realize the entire show is fast forward

yeah like you know like it doesn't play in real time you basically so they shoot it and they just speed it all up well there's little bits that's the entire show there's little bits where to go regular speed but a lot of it is just him running around yeah but it's actually good because you pack more jokes in yeah I could understand why

coal miners in the 70s liked it, you know what I mean? It's like you don't have to, it's basically like Mr. Bean, but like raunchy and sexy. Yeah. And not as clever. And if you're a coal miner and you know it must be so bad for a coal miner, because you know for a fact like, all this

stuff going into my lungs isn't good for me. Yes. There's no coal miner being like oh yeah, fucking, I feel great after that. Oh yeah. I'm coughing up. Oh, there's this black shit all coming on my ears and nose and my eyes. Yeah. This is great. This is like a facial.

Is this like a, like a detox, you know? Like a spa day. Yeah, like a vitamin scrub, you know. So those, the coal miners know they're going to die. Yeah. Real early. And they're happy because they've got a

cunt wife at home and a little weird kid, a little weird son who keeps setting fire the things, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they hate their lives. They don't want to go and watch TV with some woman being like, hmm, I first realized that

my father was emotionally distant when I was 12. What the fuck is they shanks? Better get in here, you slag. Why don't you leave the telly on this channel? He's the only channel that is. I don't want your fucking excuses, love. Yeah, the good old days, eh?

Yeah, so, no, they want to watch... Staking kidney pie up the con. Yeah. They want to watch a fat man running around getting chased by naked women and he chases them. I mean, it's not even subtle. like aggressively

chases and gropes women who are just minding their own business. Sometimes they slap them so it's okay sometimes they don't slap them that's not as okay yeah yeah Benny Hill after dark where that's the episode where the women don't get away

I'd love to see the original scripts like Benny I think you can't show the full on rape with penetration it's going to be hard to fake it's going to be hard to fake the rapes for the show he's like what do you mean fake I have it timed up to the music so I come on the

It'll be great He's been accused of plagiarism Yeah apparently he stole a little bits Like the bit where he grabbed woman's tit He stole that From every man ever Yeah No apparently he used to

Like vaudeville No no he used to go to France I think every summer And he'd go see all different shows All different comedy shows All different comedy shows and he'd write things on napkins and I think every night

every morning he send off a napkin to the BBC Right So then like when he comes back There's like 400 napkins Filled with notes Yeah And like some guy has to like

Put it all together And make into an episode Jesus Christ That was his writing room Yeah Napkins And napkins be like Titt equals grab

Frog grab tit Bairay Oh So let's let's go into the history of Benny Hill His origins, okay So named Alfred Alfred Hill

Child of circus performers Which isn't That's not good Is it? Well, I would see This is back in the day Like vaudeville and the circus Like you could genuinely earn a living

Doing that I suppose yeah He didn't interest So he's circuit performers Okay So born the circus Then got a job As a milkman

And then a drummer And then a soldier The three professions Where he learned his love of sexually abusing women. Because the milk man, oh, you want some milk love. Or the drummer

is like, yeah, I'm going to bang all night long. And the military's like, it's just rape in it. Yeah, don't even need innuendo for that. I'm in the military. Of course I'm going to rape you love. What do you think? But that's just the men. You start off of the men like Oh yeah, of course, yeah. And that's how you get

good of it. You've got to work your way to it. You've got to, you know, yeah, for every, for every pussy you have to get ten cocks. It's like, that's just, that's math, baby. So, you know, World War II breaks out. Oh, yeah. And Little Alfred's guy join up. Okay.

So I think he's like, I think he's like driving the ambulances and stuff or whatever, like, you know. He's kind of, he's not like literally, like, you know, it's not saving Private Ryan. He's not there with going to go like, puky, he's not in the shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I think what he'd do is, like, I think he was at Normandy. Right. But he was collecting the bodies afterwards.

Oh, wow. Or, like, helping the wound. And he kept, like, slipping on, like, instead of. a banana peel he'd slip on limbs and stuff and all of it like even the Nazis

and the they all would stop and start laughing and that's when he realized an epiphany yeah well you're kind of

half right he'd make the soldiers laugh a lot yeah he was a cheeky chapy okay yeah of course and then they put him

in charge of like entertaining the troops oh okay he was like in the entertainment section which was a seems to be

a big enough section of the military was the entertainment side well they were very big like you gotta keep up their spirits, you know, like, that's like

Bob Hope and the USO tours and all that stuff. Very big deal. And then, of course, you want to get into the real nitty, gritty of it, you know, the sort of crossover of the entertainment industry and the intelligence industry. Oh, they make for very interesting

bedfellows, Brian. Let me tell you. So, yeah. Well, actually, like, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Just thinking they're like, you know, a performer, he's hanging out with the troops And he's a general, he's like, hey, you're pretty funny, Benny Hill. Yeah. Don't tell anyone, but we're doing some weird shit.

Do you want to join in? He's like, yeah, okay, yeah. Do you ever, like, burn a village to the ground just for entertainment? Yeah. Not yet. Set it to music, you love it, the way they run around. But, yeah, so he was entertaining the troops. Yeah, kind of like, do you ever remember that show, it ain't half hot mum?

No. It was a sitcom that I didn't quite like. Like British 70s? It was a British 70s sitcom that Brian O'Toole didn't like. I couldn't think of a more harsh critique of the show. It was a lot of blackface in it, which, again, like, blackface that Brian didn't like. Wow. You know, they really have to, the writing must have been subar if you didn't enjoy the black face.

Yeah, because normally even little kids like, da, black man, not actually black. Black man, but not scary black man. That's right, Brian. I'm like, da, Jimmy Fallon. It's Chris Rocked. Which is very good blackface. Very good.

I mean, as far as blackface goes, that's the best I've ever seen. Top volley. But anyway, yeah, eight half hot mum. The whole sitcom was about the entertainment people who entertain the troops. Oh, that's actually an interesting. Yeah, yeah. But it was a lot of like, they said puffed a lot. Yeah.

There wasn't that many jokes in it. the black face was intentionally bad as well because the whole thing is they do blackface entertain the troops and they give you an idea of like who the enemy is it's so funny like it's World War II

and like you're in blackface this is what the Germans look like but yeah let's get bad I'm getting too silly here yeah it's Benny Hill show some respect exactly

so this isn't fucking norm dick face McDonald that loser this is Benny fucking Hill respect the dawn So as I said He was born

Alfred Hill But he got big In the entertainment scene And he started doing Like after the war He was still doing shows You know nightclubs Stuff like that

Yeah And he took the name Benny Hill Because of his favourite comedian Jack Benny Okay Yeah You ever seen much

Jack Benny No he was kind of like The talk show guy Like Kind of long before Carson Right He's known for doing This thing

With his hands Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah The listeners Can't see But just imagine

The hand on the face Kind of like exasperated. When are we talking? Like, early television. Like, this is like literally the first thing on telly. Yeah. So you could be shite if you wanted. They didn't know any bearable. He was actually kind of funny. Remember he had a black butler called

Rochester. Okay. And Rochester would like, you know, wasn't allowed to do much. That's what it should be. No, Rochester was sometimes, he'd just be like, okay, Mr. Benny. And that was really all he said, yeah. Yeah. But I always liked Rochester, even as a kid.

Anyway, so he becomes Jack Benny And he gets... Oh, yeah, sorry, yeah, he becomes Benny Hill And he gets a variety... You're going to edit that out? No, no. No. People need to see...

Sometimes see that I'm fallible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, um... He's still human. He gets a show on the BBC, it's like a variety show. All right. And it's not what you...

What you come to think of Benny Hill. It's very, like, it's a lot of singing. Right. And, uh... All those variety shows, yeah, they kind of had it all, didn't they? Yeah, yeah. but even like the comedy stuff was more like it's a full on song

but like he falls over at the end that's like it's a three minute song and then like he just trips right and that'll be like the big joke at the end it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't curbing enthusiasm it was all of its time that's what people liked back then you know well I think it was more like

the BBC back then a lot of British television had this kind of vibe of like we'll tell them what they like yeah they like opera okay they like musical whereas Benny Hill was like I think they prefer something else Yeah

Tits Just case you couldn't have Oh I gotcha yeah So He does a variety show shit But he's not happy with it He decides to get his own show It seemed very easy

He just pitched in her like yeah okay You can do it Yeah do whatever you want Literally nobody You're the first guy That ever came to us and said Hey can I do my own show They were like

Oh yeah I guess you can Yeah okay Do you want money or anything? Nobody ever thought to do that before. Yeah, yeah. It's funny as well. Like, back then it was almost like, yeah, I'm going to do my own show now

and the heads of BBC were like, can we say no? Are we allowed? Yeah. Are we allowed cancel the show on your stage? No, I guess not. So it became huge, like, straight away for years. So here's some of Benny Hill's big fans, okay?

Go. Johnny Carson. Yeah. Love Benny Hill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, tried to get him over to L.A. multiple times. But he wasn't.

He wouldn't, he's like, nah, L.A.'s dirty. Not my type. L.A. Over there, they're doing black face for real, and I don't like it. Mike Myers. Yeah, I could see that. Snoop Dog. Real. Well, Stoner. Yeah, I suppose.

Yeah, this motherfucker crazy man, grabbing bitch, tithies, and shit, yo. Yo, you do it, Benny. Get their scrella, yo. This might surprise you. Charlie Chaplin. Really? Yep. Charlie Chaplin In fact

The reason I know this is because The Chaplain family Invited Benny Hill To the chaplain's house Right After he died Like you are going to be the only person That were going to invite to his house

Really Yeah And you get to like Look at his like His notes And his little desk And all that Okay

Yeah And Benny Hill was like Oh cool So he went over there And it was like a little TV there as well And they'd say like The only show he'd watch In his later years

Your show Did he have Alzheimer's? Probably, I don't know it. Also, he was a pedophile, so that's that, you know. Well, I think if you got Alzheimer's and your pedophile, the Benny Hill

show was great to watch. It's two of my favorite things. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. That's interesting. You know, another one who loved to, so at one stage Benny Hill had a heart attack. Right. He's sitting in hospital, and they're like, guess what,

Benny Hill? A special fan is on tour at the moment in London, and he wants to meet you, his name MJ. Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson? No, Michael Jackson. Oh, right. Funny was Michael Jordan as well. No, Michael Jackson, yeah, huge again.

Wow, yeah. Interesting, isn't it? I just love the way that you don't wait for them to say yes or no, you're just grabbing. I think that we can learn so much from each other, Benny. Yeah, he loved him. Okay. Loved him, yeah. Yeah, it's very interesting that this had a cross- over appeal to like you know

he was big all over the world yeah i think at one stage was the most syndicated show ever so like he must have been like a multi-millionaire mega rich yeah here's interesting he didn't like spending money at all yeah i heard this now he's very uh thrifty

because apparently his dad skin flint apparently his dad was very trifty as well and he could a little bit abusive right so benny hill like he'd never buy new shoes yeah he'd like walk around have holes in his shoes Yeah, yeah, he'd, like, stitch up his own shirts. Yeah. He, like, wouldn't get a taxi.

Really? He'd just walk to his house. His house was, like, 20 minutes away from the BBC. And he'd never get a taxi? No, I was like, yeah. Surely they'd provide, like, a company taxi or something? Oh, he'd take it if they gave it to him. Like, let's say he went out to, like, a restaurant or something like that.

Yeah. It'd be like, let's say the BBC, like, we bring you to dinner, okay? And he's like, okay, great. And then he gets dinner and they were like, oh, we didn't actually... And, like, didn't he stay and, like, just he lived his entire life in a shitty little flat. Shitty little house, yeah, yeah. But I was saying, like, if they were like, okay, we bought you a dinner, but oh, we don't have money

for a taxi, be like, okay, and just walk, you know, three hours home with no shoes because the shoes are falling apart. Oh, you that Benny Hill, fam? That's my main man, Benny Hill there, isn't he? Do the thing when you grab the titty, man. Oh, leave me alone, you,

you scallywags. Man's a pussy-o, in it? Ain't you got bare money, from whilst you walking, cos? I'd love to see a black... Shut up. I'm doing my voices. I love to see a black Benny Hill. I think that's what the world needs, yeah.

Like Bernie Mac is Benny Hill. Yes. Yeah, that'd be good. Like, did it the black honeymooners? Yeah, that was not well regarded. I know what's a start, isn't it? I'm just saying Idriselba is not doing anything at the moment. It's better looter. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think Idriselba is very comedic. think he thinks he is and I think other people think he is because he's like, but he's so handsome, he has to be funny. Yeah. He's not though. Same as John Hamm. John Hamm is not funny. But John Hamm really thinks he's funny. Exactly. I really, it's here the thing. If you're in a dramatic role and maybe there's a funny thing happens in it's one thing. Yeah. But John Hamm, I feel like just hanging around SNL every single week being like, do you want to use me? I can do something. I can play a French man. Wee, wee, we. I'm not sure that's the right energy for this week's episode, John. Oh, yeah. And we're back to Benny Hill. So Benny Hill said lots of big fans, but also as the times were changing,

a lot of enemies. Yes. A lot of people were outraged by Benny Hill. Apparently it really hurt him. He couldn't understand what was going on. Really? Like all these women's groups were like, it's offensive, it promotes, you know,

assaulting women he was like I literally don't understand what is wrong with that what's happening wait he didn't even understand it at the slightest didn't understand it as slightest that's a bit

that's almost worse he was so confused by it he was like what's the problem I run around the park and I grab women's tits my pants fall down and everyone laughs and a child sees my penis

what's wrong with that it's British comedy it's smart it's just like Jeeves and Woodhouse fuck it off i don't even get that one you fucking shirtlifter fuck you i'm gonna glass you uh sorry it's actually i got it wrong it's jeeves and mooster that's what it is yeah that pg woodhouse is that uh fry and lorry they did an adaptation of it yeah yeah okay but anyway so what about him then his private life his romantic

this is going to be very interesting now yeah so i thought okay maybe i get something juicy now maybe he raped someone or maybe he's a homosexual either way is good yeah he basically what if hey let me blow your mind for a little minute take take those two sweet ingredients and put them both in the pie oh that's that makes for good eating yeah yeah a homosexual rapist now that's something you can hang your hat on eh anyway deal i'm done yeah uh yeah so very non-sexual really almost to the point of asexual interesting yeah interesting

like Janine Garofalo yeah very Janine Garofalo whenever he sounds the word okay

never really dated apparently he proposed to two women they're both like no but I think

the like him proposing was almost like do you want to be my beer do you want to just like oh do you think he was

gay then I don't think he was even gay because no one knows what he was just asexual yeah I think he was just like do you

because I know I have to go to a lot of functions Did anyone Did anyone ever come out? Oh yeah, I fucked him Ever? Because like, yeah, he's like a kind of like fat old gross guy

But he's like Mega rich Mega rich Mega famous like He could provide such a great life for you But you know what it is It's probably like Now we can get married

But we have to live in this flat And you can't buy anything What? But you're a multi-millionaire Yeah, no But still But I'm mentally ill as well I mentioned that

I should have mentioned that problem well it's too late now see the benny hill episodes that's me that's the best version of me it gets so much worse than that you wish i was just out in the park grabbing tits oh no we watch one episode of benny hill we're like he's trying to grab tits and he can so he's gonna kill himself remember that he's like he's at the window that was so funny he's at the window he's gonna jump out because he can't grab tits yeah and then do like the one the girls like does a strip tease to convince him to not jump But then she's like, well, you can't actually fuck me.

He's like, well, and he's jumps out the window. He's the original in-cell. Yeah, yeah. Fucking Benny Hill is the original in-cell. I love it. Yeah. Where was the next? Yeah, so people are hating him, as I said.

Ben Elton said that he was responsible for every rape in Britain. Did he say that kind of in a joking way, though? Well, I think maybe in a joke, but he hated. Yeah, yeah. Ben Elton, ugh. He really did sow the seeds for all this shit. that we see now didn't he?

Yeah fucking alternative comedy cunt you all cheer you up why he wrote the sequel to Phantom of the opera

and it bombed good yeah I'll cheer you up yeah so he's just a failure like you and I yeah

yeah fuck Ben Elton so Benny Hill people are turning against him the ratings are going down

because the older he gets the people are being like it's kind of getting a bit sad now. Yeah, he's getting older and fatter and the women are getting younger. Yes. Now, imagine the people who are like getting, like, you know, as the show goes,

it gets better every fucking season. Just every season's better than the last. It's like the Sopranos. It just keeps getting better. I also, like, at the start, it's him running around grabbing tits, but near the end it was him, like, slowly getting out of a chair. In a mobility scooter grabbing tits. So he says that he's been with

Like, you know, he's been on TV for years and years Like over two decades, I think Yeah He gets a call from the television production studio They call him into like Benny, you're done It's over It's over, yeah

Bye Oh really? It takes like five minutes Wow No, there's not a big meal being like Benny We loved, you know, we had a great relationship But all things must pass Yeah

It's like yeah you're done old man Then they grab his tits Oh, that actually doesn't doesn't feel good. Benny's like, I've finally realized the error of my ways. I've been wrong

all this time. I got a lot of phone calls to make, oh boy. And then people said after that Benny just didn't care. Just kind of gave up trying,

like he just wanted to die. Yeah. He was just drinking eating pies. Just wanted to... Just wanted to die. Wow. He was getting fatter and fatter.

Wasn't going out. Yes. Smelly. Oh, yes. It's literally... beautiful they were like oh you got a small heart problem he could put in a bypass he was like why even bother yeah yeah oh my god he turned down he could be alive today he's just like it won't cost you anything yeah well yeah i think he was like 40 something

when he died really yeah holy shit or maybe 50 something but like yeah he wasn't as old as i taught and he could he had so much money he didn't spend it he never took a lover he oh it's actually really sad, isn't it? Because, like, all things being considered, he never, he didn't seem like he was a bad person, he just kind of... Apparently very good person. Made smutty humor. Like, that's it. Like, one of the women

who was on his show, did you see him? It's like Adam Sandler. Yes. He just makes kind of silly... Remember when Sandler would grab Spade's tis. It's up I do, let me grab it. That's why Chris Farley, like, wanted to die. I can't take it anymore,

Adam, you're grabbing my shut up fat boy and you be the poor bah but yeah no it's sad I was going to say they used to call him Benny's Angels

that was the girls on the show not a single girl was any bad say about about Benny I mean that's pretty fucking impressive

considering the time they said never touched them never he seemed interested in them and they also said that like he he'd always be like oh can I hang out

with the kids and like he'd be like oh can I go to the parent teacher meetings with the kids and stuff Who's kids? Their children Oh

He's like Oh you work for me Can I hang out with your kids Oh And he loved disabled people He'd always hang around disabled people Oh He had his own key

Oh no I'm sorry This just sounds like I would like to retract my statements Oh you've said it now No I'm sorry No I'm joking now It's bad that like

You know you can say like Yeah you liked hanging out with children and helping disabled people and you're like, oh, nuns. It is, it's how cynical we are.

But I'm after Saville. Yeah, but he wasn't like, let me hang out with your kids in my caravan. You can't call. No,

he was like, oh, I'll hang out with the kids in a public school and I'll do a little show for him. Right, right, right. Kind of like entertain the kids. Yeah,

I'll bring, I'll grab your mother's tits in school. Yeah, what were the Betty Hill matinees like, you know? Um, you know, because he was,

he was still, like, the pratfalls The slapstick stuff Yeah And he could do like that Whip You know

Yeah Yeah Like silly stuff And like you know He probably Because they're kids as well So I don't know Any better

So he could probably like You know Yeah Do the whole like Oh it's a pencil of me Or oh No it's not Oh yeah

Got your dose I don't know Cheap easy lass Yeah I want to see Benny Hill smoke A cigarette Being like

The CIA Is what they don't tell you But the fucking Tories And the fucking Labour Bann They're all a bunch of quits The Iraq war

More like the Iraq murder The Iraq genocide You can't call it a war A war is when two countries fight That was a genocide man An invasion Bimbing Pick up the gun

So yeah He just died alone He left a will This is very weird Left a will But he left everything to his parents Were they still alive? No

they'd been dead for like 40 years he didn't have any kids though no siblings no oh actually he did his siblings yeah so it all went to his dumb nieces and nephews now he has so there's probably right now there's some like 19 year old like granddaughter or great granddaughter of benny hill

and she's a multi-millionaire getting coked up and you know it's so bad as well nobody's grabbing her tickets that's the tragedy of it there's definitely some young girl she's 19 and she's like you know she just she's always high on coke and like running over little children and like you know if like a homeless guy comes near her she spits him and goes like ew disgusting make it go away

it's not human then she gets on Twitter and she's like norm McDonald was a bad person spewing hate yeah that that smelly hobo actually triggered some things for me so i think I was right to shove a pencil in his cheek you know I was uh I was defending myself. Yeah, so all his like dumb niece and

nephews got it also you like this now there's a rumor going around that he was buried with lots

of gold oh so did people dig him up they did yeah they dug him up and like

you know fucked him around the place you know because they were like it's got be here somewhere

sort of shaking his skull and stuff you know yeah so yeah no gold though

no the next day just found bits of Betty Hill all over the great and like a dog

shaking it that's great actually I think that's what he wanted. There's a dog with his cock in his mouth and they're like, hey, come back here. Oh, it looks like he's going to give the dog a bone. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I agree a great crack watching some Benny Hill stuff. For the time that it is now, you know, in this PC world, we need a bit of Benny. That's right, yeah, we should try and revive Benny Hill. Yeah, when gigs are back now, we should do that. I tell you what, a bit, like, you know how you had like, the uh the black remake of the honeymooners the black remake of benny hill i think that will be well received now but it's us so i just cast a black guy to sexually assault white women

you know that's the dream i'm just uh i'm being antisocial man i'm just texting my dad telling them that i'm not coming home yet okay well i think we went over an hour here let me check yeah we're over an hour it's like an hour 10 no let's do one little thing before we end it? Oh, is it? What time is it? I don't know. Whatever. It's like eight now. Yeah, okay.

What do you want to? Did you have something else? Yeah, well, we'll end it there in a second now. This would be fun. Yeah. I watched that trailer fight. That was sad. Oh yeah. Who was that again? It was like, it didn't you feel like, because you know, trailer the whole thing is like it's spectacle. Yeah, they have like, yeah, we get Tyson or like Jake Paul or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was like, it felt very cheap. A lot of bad audio and shit And the only big name was Like Trump Well he was there They got Donald Trump To be the commentator

I tell you something These two guys I could beat the shit out of both of these guys They're just They're weird Well yeah They got Trump just for name But like Trump obviously like

It's quite funny though Because he is entertaining He is entertaining That's the one thing You were never allowed to say But he is pretty funny Yeah But like

When he get up there It's like You're trash You smell bad You look weird no one's voting for you. That's just very funny for like a pollid

like the president because a lot of people have said it. You're actually an ass you're a dork and nobody wants to say it but you're a dork you'll probably go to school on time

you give the teacher an apple you're an apple polishing dork okay? Because a lot of people have said it but he's basically this Regina George from mean girls yeah

he's just like if Regina George got fat and writ like that's basically why he's just a little like queen you know it's so funny but like that's the funny thing

is so it's him doing commentary with like actual commentators think like Trump Jr. was there as well and they're all like it's a very interesting match now but both two well equally matched opponents and Trump's just like yeah he's good but you other guy's also good

you know he's a boxer but he's also good they're both good and you know what I know a thinker too about being good because people say I was the best president that never existed. They're fighters I'm also a fighter I'm a fighter I thought every week I thought that the lying liberal media you know these people

I tell you something, you can't trust him. Are these guys Jewish? They don't look Jewish. Jews can't fight. Everybody knows that. So the main fight was Evander Hollifield and Veter Belfer. Van der Holyfield? That's the guy Tyson bit off his ear?

Hollyfield is 58 now. Oh, my God. And he is literally like the mummy. Really? His brain is not there. Nice. Even before the fight, they're like, are you, it true? Like, boxing's affected your mind.

It's like, mm-hmm. are you do you feel that the sport has impacted your cognitive dissonance about quarter to three thanks for asking me like I think in 2004 they're like this guy can't fight anymore yeah and but for some reason no other place in America would let him fight but Florida are like yeah yeah let that old man get punched in the head this is fun we make old men fight to the death every week yeah so yeah i think that match it was very sad it lasted like one round who is the other guy a veter belfer who's like 44 so compared to like holly feels like he's a spring chick yeah yeah yeah jesus and yeah it's 58 oh my god yeah so basically it's punched him the head for a while at one

stage hollyfield nearly fell off like fell out a ring oh i think i saw the meme of that and then there's like him falling out the ring and then the joe rogan you know remember when rogan interviewed McGregor on the ground. Yeah, yeah. And now all the bros make their funny memes. I couldn't imagine paying for this because the whole show was, first of all, it was David Hayes, or David Hayne. He's like a British boxer.

Oh, yeah, Hayes. Yeah, yeah. And the whole thing was like, I'm fighting my friend. So the whole time it's like, yeah, we're just having a fight, you know, but I'm still going to love him. And his friend had never done professional boxing or like any big boxing. What, he's just, he's just a mate, just a random lad. Yeah, he's like some rich guy, yeah.

he who's done a bit of like you know underground boxing maybe like one or two fights but he's not like anyway known interesting and then and then this like box for a little while and at the end they're like yeah it was fun but we're still good mates aren't we we are yeah

you paid for this you idiot the next fight was some Irish lad and it's funny because I was watching some reactions from like boxing fans Irish boxing fans they're like I've never heard this guy really yeah interesting

wasn't Kevin McBrose Was it? No. I think John O or something like that. Okay. Kevin McBride, that was Mike Tyson's last fight. No, this guy was like 20. This guy was younger than me.

Oh, okay. Interesting. So that fight went on for a little bit. It was so sad that like they kept bringing up the fact that like his wife had a miscarriage, the Irish guy, just to try and like get some sympathy. Like you don't know this guy, but his wife had a miscarriage. So it's weird to even bring that up. Like why would you do that?

Well, the celebrity hosts were Mario Lopez. and 50 cent I think Wow Doesn't get more street than that It's a very mixed bag here isn't it You got Mario Lumpez 50 cent And Donald Trump Yeah

The girl, there's a girl doing basically What Rogan does Yeah But she was very incompetent Really Well it's a mix of her being incompetent And the, like The production was incompetence

There was a lot of her being like Are you excited for the fight? Yeah Good, good I'm excited too Back to you you in the studio. Was she hot? Yes, she was. But there's a lot of this. Back to you in the studio.

There is no studio. Back to you now. On trailer. Okay, we're... Globony, tell this stupid fucking bitch is no fucking studio. Look, I offered to eat her box. She said, no. I don't care. I'll get all the pussy I want. I'd rather eat a big mac than her pussy, so who gives a fuck?

She's a dog, trash whore. And then the, the penultimate fight was then Tito versus Anderson Silva, Tito Ortiz, who used to date Jenna Jameson. Nice. He didn't know he's married to her. Didn't, oh and he... After she quit porn. And she, he battered her around

a good bit. Well, here's the thing, James. He battered her, but she was being very, she was also being a bit of a bit of a nightmare, I think. He actually set up cameras around the house to prove how paranoid she was. He set up cameras in the house to prove how

paranoid she was. She was. that paranoid cunt. Sounds like you really dragged the Kool-Aid there, brother. He put a camera in the toilet just to prove to her that she was being weird. What was he saying

about her? She was like threatening to hurt the children and stuff. Nice. I think there's footage of her proper being like that. I'm going to kill the kids.

That porn star was quite erratic. Yeah, yeah. Who, like this is you know, this back in the 90s where like you were still allowed to say that

oh, she's probably a bit mental. Yeah. but uh so um that that that fight lasted like i think like 30 seconds okay so the whole thing was so and they had musical acts all right or i should see i was watching as illegally i was watching like the live comments oh yeah some very funny comments i cannot repeat oh always the best kind but they had musical acts so um the first act was some brazilian girl never heard of um i think her name was like loopie or something like that oh okay and then they had a performance marvin um

they put Snoop Dog in a Marvin Gay video Oh like kind of C-G-I'd him in to Marvin Gay and then at one stage Marvin Gay was like What's happening

Snoop Dog was like It's Triller man Hollyfield Versus Vitor Belford Hey yo Marvin You want to hit this shit Oh I don't think so Brother

You're getting a lot of trouble For that back in my day Do you ever hear what happened to Marvin Gay Yeah his dad shot by his own dad Yeah Yeah Jeez that's awkward

isn't it? And the mother keeps bringing that up. What was the reason? I think the mother and the dad was having a little argument you know

probably just over the dishes and stuff in the Mar-Dade Oh, it's like, oh I'll show you love Yeah, yeah That's the ultimate dad move Like, well

I'll kill your son Oh shit He's my son as well Oh yeah Oh, I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this now aren't I And then the other musical act With some like

No well they had like Some Mexican guy singing Okay No idea what was going on Then the little child singing the national anthem because it was 9-11. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 9-11.

That's why Trump was there. Oh, right. It's a 20 anniversary 9-11, so. So funny, like, because before he was president, he was like a big truther. He's like, I've got to one seal the documents. We're probably going to get to the bottom of this. It was quite funny that, like,

I think his name Bruce Buffer was there, like, as the commentator. Yeah. He was like, no, a moment of silence for all the men, women and children and the first responders who died on that American tragedy and there's like ring girls walking around with American flags with big tits

as like yes yes the terrorists will never win oh yeah right well that was trailer I think we should end it there because it's getting dark outside and I know you're working tomorrow so I want to keep you too long

all right yeah we'll do one more for the Patreon now is going to be pretty lit okay I won't say too much but we're going to do relationship questions again and people I know have sent in real questions. So before it's just me

reading stuff from the Guardian or like... Yeah, but now it's like this is real lives. Real people's lives are at stake. You could ruin even more lives.

I can't wait. I love this power. It could be a good crack now. Anyway, cheers for listening guys. Back next week. Good luck. Bye.