Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 131 : Reggie Pollock

Episode Date: October 6, 2021

Reggie comes over and we talk about some dead ladies.

We have a guest on this episode. Who? Reggie. Hello. Hey, how you doing? I'm... Paulick, hello. Yes, I'm...

I am me, yes. An actual fan of the podcast. Yes, I'm a big fan. Which is kind of weird, isn't it? Yeah, I really is. This is like the intervention episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You proud of yourself, are you?

No, I hate... I hate my life. Everything is... Everything is wrong. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of... Oh, you are a fan of the show. You've been here before.

Yeah, it's funny. None of our fans are kind of like... accountants, you know. No, yeah. Well, I don't know. I'm not really sure how you would define our fan base. Well, you seem like a bit of a... Virtually non-existent. How you say? A good word. Wild,

a fiend. Fuck it is what you're going to say. Yeah. Yeah, I'm cool. I do cool things and I associate with cool people. That's right. Like fucking me. Yeah. Not you. So just describe yourself, Reggie. What's the Reggie Pollock, not to be confused

at Reggie Miller, who played for the Indiana Pacers. Who I thought is who we were getting, you know. Oh shit, that I made a much better guess. James Gallag. So it's a big black man's coming. I'm a comedian. I've been doing comedy for too long. I am, oh shit, I meant to plug stuff.

I'm doing the Galway Comedy Festival from the, no, that's running from the 19th to the 25th of October. You can buy your tickets now on gallowaycomedy festival.com.com. We can't even afford tickets And we didn't get asked to perform either I'm going to be hanging around outside

You know Trying to look as sad as possible But hopefully someone feels sorry for me That's cool, you in the festival What, where and how long you doing And what's the crack with that? I'm on Sunday afternoon at 3 For loft or noon

Is the name of the thing Because the place where the venue is called the loft Oh, okay cool Afternoon and Lofternoon Oh, I've done the loft actually, yeah Loft is fun Yeah, it's a nice little spot who's running that

oh fuck knows I think Nile is okay yeah yeah so that's gonna be fun um buy your tickets now please

please I beg well you know you're not taking a hit from this yeah yeah but if no one's in the crowd I'm gonna like my ego is gonna take a massive hit

and you know yourself you're a comedian as well the ego is very fragile it's a very very fragile it's getting more fragile that's what I've known I thought I do comedy to get like confidence

no quite the opposite I remember like I was in the first year I met you you were like I'll probably be paying the bills with comedy pretty soon like in the next year

I used to tell people that yeah I was like three years on ironically as well as they three years tops paying rent probably have like Swedish supermodel fuck me yet yeah

how long have you been doing comedy then oh Jesus since like 2015 it's actually my anniversary of comedy coming up pretty soon I think it's like 15th of October wow yeah nice oh you remember that

Yeah, I have a picture from my first ever like crowd I was like, this is my first time doing comedy and I took a little picture of the crowd Oh, that's nice. Yeah, but like if I saw myself do that now, I'd probably want to get sick, but like it was nice to do at the time. And rightly so would be honest, yeah, you shouldn't do that.

Back when I was 20 years old. How did you get on your first time doing comedy? Shied. Absolutely shocking. Absolutely died of my arse. And then for some reason I was like, I want to do that again. That was great. Yeah, so weird things like, oh, that was traumatic and horrible. Can't wait for the next one.

Here we go. It's kind of like a bad boyfriend, you know. It's like, that was terrible. But next time I can fix this, I can make it work. I actually stopped doing comedy as well for like a year because I wanted to focus on music. And then that went swimmingly, obviously. So I went back to doing comedy as well. Well, you also do music as well.

Yeah, I do many things. It's a good thing to mix it. Like, I do nothing, basically. What do you do music-wise? Music-wise, I play guitar, I write songs, I sing songs. Yeah, pretty much it. We're trying to, my band is Mr. Sister. We are at Mr. No, we are at zero, Mr. Sister, Zero on Instagram.

It's good to make it as confusing as possible. Make it really hard to find. That's the key. Yeah, like a riddle, like the Da Vinci Code. That's how we get friends that are like deserving of our music. Yes. But yeah, we're trying to record some stuff. So at some point in the next.

couple weeks, so that should be fun. I write all the music, and then our drummer is also there. I saw your cover of that song, Genghis Khan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was good. And I used to play drums, actually. I've heard this, yeah. And I was very, very impressed with the guy in the Cahan, man, he was fucking, yeah, yeah, what's name? His name's Lorkin. He's actually a fan of the podcast as well. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Thanks. He's a prick, though. Okay. Yeah. And fuck you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mad fucking bastard of a man. So you're a drummer or you're a musician.

I'm not involved in this, so I can't really contribute. No, no, no, no. You're just making your little notes. Yeah, like a dork. Like a therapist, like, hmm. How does that make you feel? Yeah. But we's gig in there recently?

Yeah, we were gigging on Friday in the old 55 in Galway. And we were meant to be doing another gig pretty soon, but I, uh, bandjacks myself. Yes, you're wearing a bandage of sorts. I, I didn't want to ask. like the Brian hit you on the way in or something. Yeah, no, before I came into the house, Brian like went out with like a stick. Yeah. That's, he just likes to

Yeah. He gets excited. This is, you're getting the James treatment. I can relax for an evening, you know. So your, your hands fuck, can not play guitar now? I can, but it's just really sore. So what happened was I was giving someone a piggyback when I was really drunk and then we both fell. And yeah, that was, um, basically me being a dumb shit.

yeah yeah i'd say maybe come up with a cooler story than that like uh shark attack there you go horrific whanking accident shark attack i try to rip someone's trousers down is that what sharking is that's sharking right i've never heard a shark you've never heard a oh i'm the weird one oh is this like the knockout game no yeah i've heard sharking is like uh i've heard is a big thing in japan where you just run up and like jock someone and run away It's joccing someone, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they call it shark, I don't know. It's definitely a thing.

And you were doing this to a shark. Yeah, I was doing this for a shark. You were wanking off a shark. I was wanking off a shark, and now I've got a bandage on my arm. God, musicians, they just, you know, they live their life, you know. Crazy life. The we can only dream about. Yeah, it sounds like you had a wild time in Galway.

I had a very good weekend. It was fab. Now we're just getting you on the cum down. You're like, oh. Oh, I am rattled. I had a little bit of a sleep on the bus So that was pretty okay But like

I was I had to go to the shop this morning To buy recovery cans Yeah That's all good Yeah Fuel my alcoholism Drinking at

Carlsberg Special brew on the bus Just to get the shakes away Honestly god This sounds I'm so jealous This sounds all I think

With your job Go on the door And move back in with your parents And then you can live my life Oh man I've been trying to live Like the righteous life You know

The good life you know, I go to work every day, punch in, punch out. It's shite. It's not exactly noble, though. You sort of fleece pensioners, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Your company sounds very... Yeah, we steal a lot of money from old people.

Yeah. The old and the vulnerable. I'd, like, contribute to the looming energy crisis, I believe, is going to be very bad. It's going to be even better than you can imagine. Yeah, yeah. They're thinking of going to nuclear. That's what I've heard. Oh, really?

Yeah, the UK are thinking of going nuclear now. Wow. That's why I hear. Also, one... So they're going to have like a... Fukushima plant in Bradford is what you're telling me. Also, my manager has to

this might be confidential, but who gives a fuck? He's going to be a witness on a murder trial. I just found this out today, yeah. My manager, Oshin, he, but I didn't say his name. Here's his address. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, tell us where to find this rat

who's going to, yeah, stand trial. It was a farming murder. A farming murder. Yeah, apparently there was some farm, shouldn't say where it was think Tyrone and like there was a wife and a husband

on the farm and my manager would have to go to the farm to like you know look at checkout stuff and pick up documents and that because he was like

supplying energy to him and then you know he's talking to the wife one month next month wife's not around and there's a weird smell coming from the barn

she's gone to live on a farm away now yeah so now it seems like it's I got like excited because I thought he'd literally like seen like the event happen you know like rear window but no it wasn't like

there's probably going to ask him like three questions you know like did he seem rattled the you know the farmer was he covered in blood yeah was he actively stabbing his wife when you were there yes but he was a client so i didn't say anything customer is always right you know um so then okay so my manager said this and then another guy in the office was trying to one up him and then he told us okay that his dad used to run a pub in Dublin and the monk would go there Yeah, the monk and a few of their guys They're all like...

Jerry Hutch, is that the monk? Is that his name? I think that's it. The monk, the general... The gangster. But they've all got names like that, the monk, the skunk and... Yeah, the funk.

We got the funk. But like, it was well known that the general would go there, the monk or whatever the fuck, okay, the monk would go there like every week. Have you drink. But he didn't drink though, right? Was not his...

Well, he'd hang out there. Okay. And then the guards were like to the dad like, hey, do you mind if you just, you know, leave the door open one night? We're going to do something. Dad's like, yeah, sure. So he left the key in the door and then the guards went in and hollowed out the chairs and put mics in them.

Oh, right. What do you think they're doing? I'm like trying to prank this man. Yeah, it's impressive. Yeah, it's impressive. Like, you'll sit down and the chairs like, laugh. And then Murray laughs. But yeah, they put mics in it, and they're,

recorded it but they wouldn't tell the dad like your whole office is just full of rack they are yeah just scum like Jesus it's when I thought I could respect these people that's all the exciting stuff happening in work yeah I can respect like Robin pensioners blind but like not

ratting out people yeah exactly it is pretty funny when you're finding the deal with the old people and you're like oh you're going to hate me now I am ruining your life on proper Wolf of Wall Street we have a little bell everything to ring like yeah really yeah do you have like midget tossing contest we don't we got pizza in one week okay did you order in was it just a couple of like frozen pizzas from the

centra pizza party and i'm like where's the strippers yeah so that's be my week i'm so glad i don't have a job have you ever had a job i've had a couple of jobs what kind of jobs i got i kept getting fired for them i was getting i was a waitress for a bit um waitress is kind of shit It was bullshit. Why did you get fired? When did I get fired or why? Why? Oh, so I was told I was not.

You're not waitress material. That's a compliment. Literally, that's pretty much it. I went into my boss because I got the text that was like, fucking, it's like, hey, can you come in for a chat? And I was like, oh, why for it? I didn't get a response from that. And went into like the wee office. I was in a basement as well.

And there was no fucking windows in this office. And like, I went in. He was like, oh, have a sit down. Like, how are you? I'm at ping pong. Sweet reference there. Yeah, 20 of the QAnon fans. Sorry, go on.

And then, yeah, he asked me to sit down and I was like, okay, I will sit. And he was like, yeah, so your performance hasn't been that great recently. I've only working there for like four weeks. Jesus. Yeah, no, that's how bad a waitress I was. And I was like, right, my performance has been porious. And he was like, we just don't think your company material. And I was like, wait, am I getting fired?

And he was like, no, no, no, you're not getting fired. And I was like, okay, but I still work here. And he was like, just let me finish here. And then I had to walk out before I started flipping tables. Oh, wow. I've never been fired. But not for like, I'm not a good employee in any of the places I've ever. Do you just quit before you get to that stage?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I quit. Yeah, I quit. I kind of, I hit like a two-year thing and it's like, oh, I just got to leave. And I feel that way about like houses or apartments or relations. ships just like two years like all right I'm out I'm gone your dog yeah too much

but I've never I like I used to work in petal stations and I would steal like a lot and it's like I don't know they just didn't and like my manager I remember this one place in Dundalk the manager was always like ah James good man good man and I was a terrible employee and he was so

obviously racist because he hated like the Polish guys and all I was like oh what the fuck is this guy's probably he shows up on time every day and does the work but you hate him he doesn't steal yeah yeah you're walking past to a big box of like animal bars I don't even like these

yeah actively siphoning petrol out of cars and he's like that fucking Polish guy and my yokes diesel so it's like just for the trill yeah yeah I like the place I'm in now I hate it but like which is funny because so many lads like James works in like a sports like basically like sports factory

yeah dream fact I work for satanta sports it's like the I suppose technically they're a TV station like a broadcasting place we just broadcast sports and I hate it and I don't like sport other lads like they know about your job

and you talk to me like oh my god James must have the best job ever yeah you get to watch what the footy every day yeah I do yeah but like even I don't even hate sport enough it's just everything else that I just don't like yeah it's like 12 hour shifts and you have to do night shifts and it's

you'd be so exhausted and the money is dog shit as well and it's just awful and then like nothing works nothing goes right and then when you fuck up you get all these emails like what is the meaning of this it's like oh I don't know I increased the dosage of my zoloft and I'm feeling a bit

spacey I hate those emails they're kind of like why did you decide to make that mistake yeah I want to bring down this company sports is patriarchy and I'm all against that. So, I've got to hold a mirror up to you, people.

I've never been fired, but I do one time I was working in the four seasons, they were expecting, like, a lot because it's the four seasons. Even though it's the four seasons and like, like, Dundalk. It was like in Cardinford. Yeah. Just winter and more winter.

But like, my manager's a real dick, and then one time wasn't pouring the wine quick enough, so he kind of took me aside and was like, Brian, you're just not, You're just not good enough. You're just like... I mean... And I'm talking about the wine,

but it's everything else. This criticism applies to everything about you. He was proper, like, if I known this, I wouldn't have hired you. But we've hired you now. So I think, you know, maybe next weekend,

we can try it again, but for now, just Hoover. This is to Hoover the place, but a lot of the waitresses walking past being like, oh, hey, Brian. Yeah.

It's like, I used to be above you. it's good stuff good times yeah yeah you go ahead it's just you know because like we're you know we're working all these shit jobs like but don't worry we got comedy

comedies where everything dreams come true and it's everything's wonderful that's meant to be the respite from there is that the right word respite I think so yeah why not who cares it's supposed to be the fun bit you know yeah it's supposed to be the bit it's like ah yeah

I've never had a hobby I hated more it's awful and it's awful but you just keep going back for more it's just like it's just like doing gear it's like but when it's really good it's not even that good and then when it's shite it's like it ruins your life it's like the very best version of it is kind of like ah okay that was all right I guess yeah and the worst is just like so bad

it's like I don't know a maris bar it's like he it's like that was nice but you wouldn't be like oh my god this is my life I have to quit my job Yeah, it's like people I've got to write for 30 minutes I'm going to eat Mars bars 30 minutes every day Yeah

So Seinfeld does He eats Mars bars two hours a day Eats Mars bars and dates 17 year olds That's right She had big tits now But anyway Moving on alright You're out of

If I could present My evidence Oh you're going off I'm sorry You can answer We can pause No it's my dad I'm not going to answer that

I go on my phone all the time I also ignore my dad Remember that time we got phone call Like separate phone calls Both being rejected for the same thing Yeah We both like got cast or whatever In this game show that was meant to happen

And then we both got a phone call From the producers saying Yeah just it's not happening for either of you Also he was like You're so good You're so good You're too funny That's the problem

It would ruin the whole thing You're too funny Yeah They just cast a little of big tated 17 year olds we were going to talk about things but I'm going to having fun here we will we have shit to talk about

like Marilyn Monroe and other stuff but stand your shit you want to talk about beforehand well let Marilyn Monroe be the big finisher we'll finish on Marilynne together Yes Any other crack Good bit of wordplay there Brian

Yeah Well done I tell you Nah nothing Nothing this is I can tell you about the other jobs I've been fired for a Yeah yeah continue yeah

um so there was one time i was working a hospital it was like in a del i was a surgeon no i was working a deli and um i would never you're just not surgeon material we shouldn't have hired you for it you just gave a really good interview oh stop so you worked a deli in a hospital yeah now isn't there a lot of um hospital a lot of drama and you know like no everyone's misery oh really oh yeah no there's a lot of misery like there was a lot of misery in that place there was like people coming in with their like uh their dementia partners and like making it my problem

oh leukemia for sandwiches fucking bastards yeah hate sick people but yeah I know fucking I got fired from there well I didn't even get fired like I wasn't fired I was let go because I had to go and do exams and they were like well I guess you can't really

come back afterwards and I was like okay this was a shit job anyway and then I started being a busker in Galway and that made me more money and why more quality of life. Really? Yeah. Buskin is...

There's money Buskin and Galway. Have you ever met Jack Lee? Yes, I have about Jack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack Lee, he makes serious amount of money now. Who's Jack Lee? Just a handsome man. Oh.

I told you to stay away from them. They're not good for you. You get ideas. Yeah. Yeah, but like Jack... You're going to go buskin in the street now, are you? But yeah, Jack Lee would make money buskin in Dundalk. Really?

Even like the shit place like that. make money. So, like, if you can bust, you can just do anything. Yeah, yeah. You can just kind of go wherever you want and just be your own boss and, like, can't do that with comedy. You can't busk, you can't be a comedian busking. That's just a symptom of mental ill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just you're just an empty plastic bag away from schizophrenia, really, aren't you? Just throwing cats of people. Yeah, I know McSavage did that for years. He'd go around Japan, busking. But he always had the guitar, though, was the thing. The guitar was always... Oh no, before he was doing, like, even talking stuff he just did straight up buskin for years

yeah in Japan where they probably washed him like a god yeah yeah I've seen some of his videos of him buskin it is just him like going hey you with the weird hat go fuck yourself it's just like him verbally abusing people on grafted street because it's temple bar it's full of America's being like

that's brilliant culture so yeah it's so funny you think like work in the hospital but it's just like you're making sandwiches so like there's all this like ER shit going on. You're like, butter and mail. Oh, what I found out from working in that hospital is

doctors are cunts, bastards, all of them. I hate doctors. I hate sick people. I hated that job. But nurses are usually really nice. Nurses are pretty wild in the head, though. Yeah. Very, the most unhealthiest people have ever met are nurses, like... I mean physically or mentally.

Both, both, yeah. My mother is a nurse, and I can agree with everything you're saying. She became a nurse, like, in her late 30s. as well, which is weird. But anyway. What did she do in 19 before that? Yeah, she was like a housewife.

Raised me. Oh, fuck that one up. It's like, oh, I'll go help some spastics and mon in hospital in, I suppose. Yeah. But I do I say, what were you saying? I forget now, I got too excited. Nurses are very unhealthy.

Yeah, they are, like, just from what I... Because I used to date a nurse and I've been around, a lot of them, like just a lot of smoking, a lot of drinking. Yeah, yeah, just going out all the time. And they're very good at, like... Well, that's like student nurses. oh right

yeah that's because they're 22 there aren't like 63 year old nurses who are like going on the pace like Yeager shots in coppers I would see what your mother

was doing that well she is but she's not a good example for yeah she's going through some stuff right back she's growing up okay

but yeah no nurses well it's a stressful job really isn't it yeah they got relief well look even like the non student nurses that I've met you know they are like you know they're fond of a nice drink and yeah i find the same like i know nurses

that have like i've been at sessions with and they've just gone up gotten up at like fucking five o'clock um and just gone off to work after like drinking a rake of cans and i'd be there like mowledy out on the on the sofa just like oh where you go are you going to shop you want to buy me some more cans and they'd be like no i need to work because i have a job you degenerate scum yeah well i'm busting later so fucking you i'm making more money than you on the street fucking nurse ratchet con fuck yourself you don't deserve a bonus

bonuses for the buskers the buskers the buskers are going on strike yeah buskin you have to pay don't you in Dublin but not in Galway

is that works in Galway they were going to introduce some kind of like license fee thing but everyone freaked out and was like no don't

fought the power I mean in Galway about the bunch of troublemakers you are. You know there are laws and systems in place for valid reasons but you hippies come along

with your flower power I have a dream nonsense make it the taxpayers problem this is why I never made it as a musician because I had these exact opinions. You give that speech for every show like point it. I was a drummer in a punk band

it's like look what's wrong with the Tories really at the end of the day. Let's call a spade of spade. but yeah no but I do remember the busker thing people were all like the they tried to introduce the now what is it in Dublin

you have to pay yeah it's like 90 euro for application fee and for performance fee and that's just like it's once a year payment thing but like 90 quid is 90 good

I was fully expecting you to say like per day every time Jesus yeah yeah only Bill Gates can busk I wonder what happened if you went out to d4 to try to like if you went out to like sandy for it they probably round you's up like you know yeah yeah yeah kind of like you know send you to the dog pound you know to be gasped yeah i'm sorry

we just don't have that here you know i've seen buskers out in scurries though where i live on the pier and like jumping off no it was like there's people like actually busking there and i'd never seen it before i was like is that a man with a guitar in my hometown i won't stand for actually I know a guy who like kind of busks I don't know if it's scary but he puts up videos of him like around the coastal part of nice part of Dublin

Dan Bracken Dan the man I know Dan Bracken Yeah yeah yeah Yeah Dan's lovely He's a good guy He's a very good musician as well

All you buskers all talking to each other Little community Yeah Dan did me a massive favour before because I had to do an interview about like the busing situation in Galway for a TG car Oh cool

And so Dan translated what I had to say into Irish and I don't speak Irish at all. And I was like, Dan, I don't know how to pronounce any of this. So he sent me a little voice note of him pronouncing everything. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, he's a teacher. He's a legend. Yeah, yeah. Like he would teach

like in a secondary school and it's like, he was like, but then he'd like go out in Monaghan and they'd be like, sir, why are you doing all that cocaine? He's like, ah, don't worry about that. He's a proper mad bastard. Is it okay to see his name on the podcast? Oh, it's already he's a good guy

he doesn't do cocaine that was a job great musician though I will say that we were actually in a band together very briefly yeah yeah

did one gig we were all so fucked it was a disaster and I quit music for good it's good times anyway it's good to have dreams yeah yeah

I took a load of a lyric and like drank a bottle of Captain Morgan's you really are you're pushing yourself so they're in there aren't you This is like fucking about five or six years ago. More even. It would have been like 2014.

How long was that? It's before I met you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I straightened you out. Yeah, you did. You showed me it's like, forget this music comedy. That's the future. That's where the real good comments.

You could be the next marron if you work hard enough. But anyway, yeah, good times. Yeah, so I'm kind of feeling like, do you want to jump in some notes now? Yeah. Yeah, this is what Brian. this is well I can't think of any else talking about

oh I'll just say as well if anyone cares any listening if anyone knows there's a running storyline where like I was dating a girl and she got deported

she got sent to Brazil turns out she's coming back yes so that's pretty cool yeah yeah true love yeah pretty cool I've sent her some money

yeah but she's oh yeah so all the best relationships start off yeah she's in Brazil and needs money

but we're meant to be. She called me and she sounded way more robotic than usual. She had like a kind of

Nigerian accent. Please Brian give me your penis and money. But yeah she's coming back apparently

that's good. That'd be fun yeah. Yeah. Being's having someone around again after the long nights.

Sure. Yeah. She's telling me her manager got done for stealing a horse. You were saying that earlier.

Yeah. I'll find out more when God, you really do I hang out with the best You hang out with the buskers I hang out with a different sort But they're kind of the same Yeah

The same kind of degenerate Also just scum Anyway, I've been watching Some stuff we could talk about I watched impeachment And I watched the thing about Marlon Monroe So impeachment, Bill Clinton

Or Marilyn Monroe You pick We have a vote here Come on, hurry up I go impeachment Yeah, go on impeachment Yeah, so impeachment. Well, you know what?

They're actually very similar because Marlon Monroe and the Kennedys and then Bill Clinton and Lewinsky. Well, the reason I picked him. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Thematically. Definitely not. Definitely not. Just a... How much time have we done? It's like... Oh yeah, perfect. Yeah, about halfway there.

Yeah, great. Right. So impeachment, it's like the new... You ever watched like American crime story? The OJ one. That was a good one. The OJ one was good. I couldn't finish the Versacee one.

I had the opposite one. I couldn't finish the OJ one, but I could finish the Versacee one. I watched them both. because I am a culture of ultra because you've got

any kind of attention that's interesting though I need to give another chance I wasn't against it

I wasn't against Versatchi I agree his way of life okay I voted yes I didn't

it didn't grab me straight away but I I watched OJ twice yeah it definitely wasn't as good as the OJ show I think

I watched it once on my own and I watched it with a girl's date at the time and she wasn't into it and I was like pack your bags

you're going to Brazil tonight. Or I'm going to do an OJ. I got a white Ford Bronco ready to go. Okay, so impeachment's about Bill Clinton. Impeachment is the new Bill Clinton show. So they've got Clive Owen to play Bill Clinton. He's trying his best. You're probably too young to remember.

I remember when this whole Bill Clinton scandal was happening. I was only about six, but still... You were watching it lies. Yeah, I was like, Mother, you don't understand the implications this will have. See, I don't even remember. 9-11, so... Yeah, I'm too young.

How old are you? I'm 26. Jesus. On your... I'm 26. I have a vague... And he was there. Ground zero.

It was you. A little parachute, like, they'll never know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have a vague memory of it being on TV and my mother, like, trying to tell me, and I was like, I don't care. Is that Lego, is it? Where'd the fuck is Saudi Arabia?

So, um, this new show impeachment, it's, um, I've watched four episodes It's already getting boring Because you want to see the sucking You know The actual like the money shot Yeah The jizz on the dress

The cigar going wherever it Supposedly went All that stuff's covered Like the first three episodes Okay Then the rest of that's all like You know like That's a real good anti-smoking ad

Right there I'll just say But I don't And the rest of it's like Oh the legal ramifications of this If he lies in front of Congress This could bring down the whole government It's just all that stuff Yeah

Yeah, yeah, God. A president would never do anything else. But it's like, you know, but people just act surprised every time. It's like, the president lied. Oh, he's not a good guy. So this show, I kind of knew, everyone knows the basics, like, you know,

she sucked them off, yada, yada, yada, yada. Monaco, for anyone that doesn't know, Monica Lewinsky is like... Yeah, she was an intern, she was like 27, I think. Oh, man, she's like 22. Oh, you're right, yeah, 22. Yeah, oh, look at you already trying to white watch it. Yeah.

Like, hey, what's the problem? She was 30, she wanted it. She wouldn't leave Bill alone. Well, in fairness, in this show, she very much wants it. Right. Yeah, like, she's proper, like, we'll jump ahead a little bit, okay? So it's, the reason she's there is there's, like, some kind of strike or something. So a lot of the regular secretaries, they're all, like, oh, it's a government shutdown, that's it.

Okay. So the hire a bunch of, like, secretaries from, like, other parts of government. Okay. They come into the White House. So literally her first day, and she's like, oh, my God. in the white house she's played by no beanie feldstein i that's a name do i whoa we get into a lot of trouble here let's be very careful beanie feldstein so she's like a uh a big woman um but she looks a lot like monica okay okay so it's like her first day and she's like oh my god i'm in the white

house every girl's dream and then she's like in the she didn't like work in the office right beside the Oval Office, okay? So she's, like, sitting up, like, my name tag and all of that, make sure my pencils are all right, and then Bill's like, hey. And Bill's just right behind her, and he's like, hey, I'm Bill Clinton, do you know me? And she's straightway

like, oh my God, I've always had such a crush on you, and she's, like, proper light. What age is Bill Clinton at this time? Old enough to know about her. Yeah, well, no, I'm not, I'm not going to sit here and defend. Bill was an innocent flower. Desecrate by this harlot.

She gave Bill a funny drink. But yeah, she's in the show anyway. But it's executive produced by Lewinsky. Okay. So, I mean, like, you know, she's not. She's never been proper, like, you know, I wasn't, you know, into it. She's definitely, like, said that she was, like, in love with him. Yes.

Oh, yeah. We see later on. No, no, she's definitely, she's even said, like, you know, the relationship with him was not, I didn't feel, like, shitty about that at all. It was how the press treated her afterwards when she got raked over. the whole fun. Well, the reason for that is Linda Tripp.

You know Linda Tripp? No. Linda Trippie. That was definitely on like Def Jam. Shucky Duckie Quack Quack. So. What is that?

Shuckie, is that a thing? Do you not know? I thought you were cool. Yeah. Oh, you thought wrong. Shucky Duckie was a black comic and that was like his like punchline for everything. Shucky quack quack.

Yeah, his name was Shucky Ducky Ducky. But he'd be like, you know. know, some ladies in the club be acting strange. Shucky, dokey, dokey, you say it differently, but, you know, sure. Yeah, basically, you'd be like, bitches be tripping. Shucky, ducky, quack, whack, whack. And everyone be like, who. It's kind of like, yeah, like, yeah, like Andrew Dice Clay, you know, he's, yeah.

Yeah, get her done guy. Get her, oh, Larry the cable guy. You know your shit, yeah. He's not, he's not, he's not like a redneck at all. It's a complete fabrication. Oh, my God. Yeah. The whole life has been a lot.

I know, yeah. Once I heard about that is psych. they probably are all lizards then I can't believe anything anymore you just burnt down the church so anyway she sucks off the president anyway okay spoiler alert

and then she's loving it she's like yeah I got him I managed to fuck Bill the hardest to fuck so she tells her friend who's a big frumpy lady she's in her like her 50s

and she's kind of like a little overweight and stuff her name's Linda Tripp and she's just jealous she's like oh really my Monica, and she's got a big frown on her face. And before we've seen, she's been trying to sell her memoirs to, like, a publisher,

but publishers was like, what? Middle-aged woman works in White House, and none happens. Oh, that will sell. But because she finds out about Monica, she's like, oh, this is my time. So that's, that was the whole... She starts taping. She starts taping. I thought it was, like, out of a sort of virtuous, like, uh...

No. The truth needs to... It was to sell a book. Yeah, she was taping Monica and did have conversations at none. like you know girls like uh like um you know like the old you know the old time image of a girl where they're like they're sitting in the beds and their stomachs and like oh my god i can't believe tim said that you know uh they're proper doing that and she's recording all the conversations and she was the one where monica was like yeah i kept the dress whiz come on it and she's like oh interesting

why did she do that as a like a memento it's like you know like that's pretty weird though to be it is a bit weird yeah yeah like a conquest you know that's really what was she gonna like get it frame it's like uh and now we come to the main attraction of the house yeah there's little people like this is got a host oh this is the the up sale value of the property is going to skyrocket just keep the calm on the dress to like fucking inseminators out later probably yeah she was so in love at bill like so she's like kind of like um we'll get to marilyn as well she's kind of like when this is all over bill's gonna marry me like that he's going to leave that trampillery she can't really understand the idea like you know

but Bill hasn't called me this week he's like yeah he's the president I am so thick of that excuse have you been paying attention of the Gulf War oh Saddam Hussein's over there right now and he is trippin pardon my French

Shucky ducky quack quack and like she'd show up to his like secretary and be like where's Bill and she's like he's busy and Bill's clearly just like Is she gone? So that's kind of like

the moniker thing but it's interesting is to go into Paula Jones as well Paula Jones is another woman who accused Bill Oh of actual like assault Actual rape Right yeah yeah

But that's kind of like not the you know kind of like the tably story because it's like basically Paula Jones the whole story is she was working in Now, where is he from, Bill?

Arkansas. You work in Arkansas. Me, not Arkansas. Yeah, good work. Thank you. Me learning. Yeah, no notebooks for me. All off the top of the dome, my friend.

And she was helping with the campaign. And he was like, oh, come up to my bedroom. I need to talk about the campaign. And then, like, you know, proper like, sit down and like zip. And she's like, I'm going to go. And he's like, come on. And then like, I'm not going to act it out. I thought you were for a second.

I was like, how far is he going to go with this? I just realized this actually is a thing that happened. Should I yes and him here or? Come on James, play along. Don't be a bitch. So the whole thing is like she she kind of like told a few people which she didn't want to be a whole press thing

because she kind of like ashamed of it, okay? But then they got leaked someone told and then like her husband was an actor and the husband in the show was played by you know Taran Killian? Oh yeah, the S&L guy. Yeah, he's married to Cole Colby Smudder's that

Really? Yeah She's in the show as well She plays Anne Coulter in the show And holy Just something about a racist white woman That like Really gets me going Oh yeah well

Yeah but so the husband You're only human The husband of Paula Jones Is like god damn Everyone in Hollywood's gonna be laughing at me now Um Jesus So he he decided

What actor is He was an unknown actor Okay He works in the airport oh really yeah actors kind of like you know

the way we're comedians wow whoa that one hurt yeah Jesus so his old deal is he wants to do

a deal with Clinton where he wants money and also he knows Clinton's high up with Hollywood so he wants to

get some Hollywood jobs wait how what is Clinton at this point is he governor of Arkansas he's president

oh this is during his presidency no this is sorry he raped her when he was trying to be

president oh but then like once he becomes president, then he starts blackmail him, right? He wants to blackmail, basically, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. And, you know, the lawyer's like, go fuck yourself. Oh, all right. And then, um, the Republicans

find the story and then they push the Paula Jones angle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the Republicans are pushing it, everyone's just like, oh, it's just the Republicans. Trying to do a smear campaign. Yeah, against pretty old, you know, lovable Clinton. Slick Willie. And this is real. They had a press conference with, uh, a lot of journalists, Paula Jones

did. And the Joe, the, the journalists in it are proper like oh so what well we're expect to believe this well oh just some girl says oh you went up to his hotel room to talk ha and they're all like making fun of her and there's a bit and this is like real as well it's a bit where they're like so are you saying the president wanted you to perform fallatio and she doesn't know what philatio means okay and they all laugh at her oh my god really very different time i tell you yeah the 90s yeah Wow 96, 97 was it?

96 I think Yeah fucking out So then They kind of just all Forget about her But that's This like

They're trying to show Like It wasn't just the funny Monica Lewinsky Angio Yeah I think that was why Like it got Like the

That got so much Press Because like you know It is like Salacious But it's not Criminal So they were really

Let's go with that And like Suppressed the Paula Jones It was something Everyone can make fun of Yeah Yeah And even like you know

But they didn't even make fun of him. It's like it was her that like got all this shit like you know? Yeah it actually is looking back on it now because again

it's such a different time but it's like is that kind of like crazy how they're so much like this dumb bitch trick the president and she's trying to bring down like they're kind of like

focusing it like she's like yeah bring down America yeah her pussy is a threat to democracy everywhere

Mr. some like some angry army turtle we need a nuke it Mr. President we need to do it it's pretty fucked up though like this single woman

and this married man and the fucking single woman got all the shitprish and he was the president as like getting sucked off in the Oval Office but she's the problem yeah yeah yeah

that's because women are dumb oh okay well Linda Tripp knows there's a reason why we booked you on the show finally validated at last that's on wax

no too You can't get that scrubbed Oh my career is over When you leave We got that recording You just pressed out now and again What you think, Reggie You'll be busking

In the bottom of the river By the time we're done with you So anyway So Linda's talking about all this stuff All right Right And sorry, Monica's telling Linda about all this stuff And then Linda arranges the sting

Where she's like Meet me at the mall at, you know, like, you know, tomorrow 3 o'clock. So Monica goes there and then there's like, yeah, I'm sorry, and then the FBI show up. And bring her into a room, basically. What?

Yeah. But like under what grounds? National security. And they're kind of like, yeah, Monnet, you're kind of, you can't leave. We're not, you're not imprisoned. We're not imprisoning you, but you can't leave the room. Yeah.

And you're going to answer her questions. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. You're not fired situation. you're just that fbi witness material monica i'm sorry so i've got up to watch four episodes as i said at the moment the story's just about to break they've got the cum dress they've got uh you know everything else

yeah yeah the tapes and everything and the last episode i watch is like bill's like uh his whole thing is um because they're like we can pay her off we can make this all go away right and bill's like no i want the fight. I love to fight. And he gives his speech how, like, when he was doing his second election, he was doing really well and he felt sad because there was no fight. The election

was too easy. Yeah, he had to, like, hop on the Lolita Express just to get a thrill. I'm so bored all the time. Damn, Bill, you crazy little motherfucker. That's Chris Tucker, by the way, for the people if this is your first time listening to the podcast. All the Reggie fans are like, what is this?

Why is Brian talking someone? So yeah, the episode ends then with like Bill... This Mr. Sister EP is very weird. Is it... Mr. Sister, Mr. Did I get it right? Yes, I nailed it.

Is that any relation to Sister Sister? Yeah. Good. After a long legal dispute we're finally, we get the right... Those little cunts. Okay, so... Yeah, just episode ends

with him being like, okay, it's coming out in the papers tomorrow. Yeah. And he does the long walk to the bedroom and Hillary's in the bed and he's like,

oh, Jesus. And it's Edie Falco as Hillary. Yeah, Edie Falco, yeah, from Sopranos. Yeah. Yeah, she's not really... We haven't really got much of her as Hillary yet.

Yeah. She's kind of been in the background lurking. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like that. I really like E. I really like E. I really don't like Hillary. It's kind of like

if Jim Carrey played Hitler, you know. No, that's not a good example, actually. Someone I like against someone I don't like

is what I meant to say. Not too, I do. So, yeah, that's impeachment. I think, watch the first, like,

three episodes just to see, like, the, you know, what everyone wants to see. But you don't really see, it's very implied. It's kind of like, oh,

Mr. President. So, you know, and that's it. They're not going to be, like, raw-dogging on the fucking. Full penetration.

come on beanie let me flick your beanie no no you set me up there this is what he does yeah well I want it a little bit like even like her on her knees or something you know just like is that too much to ask

I heard no this is this is definitely anytime I bring this up people are like what are you talking about but I definitely heard this and he has like a like a banana cock it's like shit it like points upwards supposedly now can we corroborate this

or pull that up we need a we need like a jamie character to be like let me see Bill Clinton's banana it's only cox show me a cock I survey says good work Jamie I've heard

I've heard it bends up but I don't know I don't know if that's I haven't seen Bill Clinton's cox no well maybe someday some people have bendy cox I know a few people with bendy cox

and they're very open about it too open in I think. They're really like, you know, first thing to talk about. I'm like, hello. My name is this. I'm Wendy Cock.

I think bending up is okay. Bending sideways is just silly. You'll cop on, you know. Get a job. Straighten out your cock and get a job. But actually, can I go back to one thing? Now, you said that he was like,

no, I don't want to pay her off. I want to fight. Yeah. Do you think that was just to be like, like, okay, we'll get all the press on this and then they'll ignore Paul of Jones. No, that could be it. Legitimately could be it, yeah.

Maybe he just enjoys the struggle. Maybe. Ew. That's bad. Don't say that. The first problematic thing ever said on this podcast, we got to triple digits. Well, I mean, like, it's not like,

there's loads of women. There's like... That have accused him. Yeah, yeah. Well, look, he is on... Jeffrey Epstein's playing I mean there's a whole like

I think like I'm trying not to exaggerate here because it was like a million I think every American yeah six million no if you've ever voted

chances are old Billy was hiding in the ballot when you pull the stick I can't believe they fell for it every goddamn one of them oh my

no but I think there's like six I think there's like six women that have accused him like and there's like a one guy there's a rumor he's got black son so we'll follow up on that when we get more info

some research on that okay should we go to Marilyn Monroe real quick yeah go for this has been a good episode now I like this yeah sometimes it's hard work yeah

see how he looked at be when he just yeah okay so Marilyn Monroe okay now I was looking this up because have you heard about new Marlon and Role

and Netflix movie? No, I haven't. Okay, there's a movie coming out with Anna De Armis. You know her? No.

Okay, right. You're too busy living life. I'm too busy having fun and being really cool. Where I'm like, I'm like looking up Marlin and Roll.

Wait, Knives out, did you see that? No, I haven't actually. Oh, okay. What else are she in? She's in. War dogs?

Do you see that? Oh, God. No, we'll get there eventually. Knock, knock, Blade Runner. Have you ever consumed media in your life be funny if this podcast

was the only bit of culture in your life, it's like, oh no. And you're like, what is this? Wait, there are films? Well, anyway, she's a really hot actress. Yeah, she's like, yeah, we can all enjoy that, yeah.

Talented, I would say. Well, she actually is talented. Yeah, I know. I like her, you know what? I like her knives out because she was dressed down in that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what brought, yeah. She was the help, which is what I like.

She looked achievable. Yeah. So she's doing a, she made a Netflix movie about Marlon Monroe that is apparently so sexual. Netflix are like, we don't know if we can release this. Yeah. Netflix, like. Yeah. I mean, they have some pretty, like, I wouldn't say overtly, but like they.

Well, do they have, like, have I seen penetration? No, I don't think you've seen penetration. I think I have, yeah, that movie Love. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, the movie or the show? It's a show. No, not the show.

The show is like, like a sitcom-y kind of thing, isn't it? No, there's a movie, it's a German movie called Love. Ah, okay. You should have just opened with that. Right, okay. But the new Marilyn Monroe movie is like... It's so sexual Netflix. They're like, tone it down a bit, would you?

And the director has been a big like, you know, how dare you, this is my vision. Right, right. I want to see all the dongs. I want to see both Kennedy's dick, dangling. So then I started looking up Marilyn Monroe. And it's kind of like, we don't even understand how famous Marilyn Monroe was.

No, like, for back in the day, she was like super fucking famous. Yeah. But like, people weren't cynical. And you know, now we're all like, oh she's probably fucking dog shit you know everyone's like probably drinks baby's blood

but back then if you Merrill Street really yes yes but like back then if you aren't just famous like you were literally like you were like Superman you're like like people would be like she's the greatest person she's a goddess

you know yeah yeah it's like you look we need you to be sexy or we won't win the war that's what we're talking about here if you want Hitler to win then yeah cover up all you want like when she died

people were like openly crying yeah just all over the place and no one was like oh grow up they're all just like yeah you should

this is like it's like Pearl Harbor like this is devastating yeah that makes sense like people are more cynical nowadays because the first thing

that came to my head and said people were openly crying was just saps yeah I've never I've never cried about a celebrity death

never cried never cried once even as a baby you're like just yeah just like no I'm not going to do it.

Yeah, when the doctor slapped you it's like, try that again, pal, I will fucking end you. Won't give you the satisfaction. Would you like a job at the deli? It's callback, Brian, yeah? Pay attention, yeah, you might learn something.

I didn't get it. I was like, Delhi, where you get the rolls. Okay, so Marlon Monroe, go to you this real quick because this is nearly over, okay. So, Marilyn Monroe, born, bad family.

Yes. It sounds like everyone backed in bad families Yeah, yeah But like When was she born Like the depression It's like

So for someone to go Oh this is a A dysfunctional family dynamic here During the 20s Yeah, it must have been pretty bad A sad time during the depression If you can believe this Yeah, she had like a shit mom

And then no dad wasn't it? She had like a Spass Mental mom Oh she was like bipolar Schizophrenic Like proper Ended up being institution

Yeah I mean proper like Talking to the T cup And stuff like that Yeah in the movie I watch she's played by Susan Sarandon Oh Nice

That's a name I recognize Yeah Yeah Old classic Hollywood Yeah But yeah I love Susan Sarandon Well in this you love her even more

Because she's like mental Perfect Yeah She's like licking the floor and stuff And you're like yeah She's on my level That's wife material right there Yeah

So yeah As a bad mother I think he used to bring A lot of fellas around Right So you know No no shame actually Good for her

A bad dad I thought there was no dad There was a dad Don't really know who he was Oh no sorry There was a biological dad Yeah but he just like Yeah he pumped and run

Yeah yeah It's all about the coming and going Yeah But then there's another dad That was around for a while And then he like kidnapped her like siblings Ah Yeah he was like I'm taking some of these

Not her That probably won't affect her later on Oh god Wow What kind of abandon issues as much you have to not be chosen for a kid.

For a kidnapping. Holy fuck. So they took like the other two and not her. And I think she only like met them again when she was like

in her 20s. Okay. So yeah. So yeah. Then for a while she got sent to like an orphanage. Yeah.

But she got like heavily abused in the orphanage. Yeah. A lot of abuse. From like the age of 10. Yeah. And it's kind of funny.

I was watching. No. Stop laughing. I was watching a podcast with these two guys. And it was like one of these like really like, you know the true

crime stuff but it's like just two dumb guys talking about shit and like oh that's crazy I couldn't imagine anything like that

yeah yeah well we add shit but they're just like I do the voices more do you want nuance but they

these two guys are like oh it's crazy they do loads of shit but it's like oh that's crazy bro oh man that's crazy they're talking about like

you know yeah if I was alive then I totally would have smashed yeah oh bitcoin but like he's he was like

oh man she got like molested from like age of 10 and that's like you know that's not good that's not cool bro bad praxis my friend okay so

eventually she's like dating like some soldier and she gets a job working in the factory not like a sexy job at all like proper like pulling levers and like just oil spraying all over her face and stuff like in a they were like making kind of like plans and shit

for the war yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like you ever see those old posters like what's her name like oh rosy the riveter yeah yeah you you got an old soul i've realized yeah susan sarandon world war two all that i don't know what netflix is but anything prior to like 1950 i've got it so she's doing like you know stuff like that like helping the war effort so the lads are all fighting okay yeah and then there's a photographer wandering around and taking pictures you know for the boys over there yeah yeah he to he cops her straight and he's like wow and take some pictures of her and they start circulating and people are like

like something about this girl. What was her? Her name was Norma Jean? Norma Jean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, something about this girl we like. And then, like, it got passed around and some producers got involved. And that's how she made it, yeah. Yeah. And what age would she have been then, like 20s?

I think early 20s, maybe, maybe like 19 at the most, maybe at the least, okay. And the husband, of course, like, you fucking fuck off. Yeah, yeah. But then she gets away, goes to Hollywood. And then she, like, marries a bunch of guys. Happily ever after. her dreams all came true

it was all good for her after that and immediately developed a pill addiction wasn't it like she was like 16 and she basically got married off

to some like the neighbor or something oh you're right there was a fat guy involved I'll be honest I'm a real hero

of the story if you ask me I couldn't does it really got a teenage bride from next door oh god this is great

and made her a star no one mentions that Yeah, I watched a really bad movie made in, like, the, 20, like, 2011. Okay. It was a really good HBO movie I couldn't find. Remember watching it? And then that she wanks off the old man. It's like, awesome.

HBO, baby. So then, yeah, she goes to Hollywood. She's a big star straight away. She didn't, like, the first issue of Playboy. Yeah. So that's, like, what really makes her and Playboy. But didn't they, like, use pictures of her that she didn't give permission for? or something.

He's a different time, you know? Yeah. Like, it was prior to 1950, wasn't it? Was it? Is it been around that long? The 50s? A long time, yeah. Playboy is kind of...

Now he thinks it's an old man wearing like a robe, okay? He keeps women in cages. Yeah, he just drools on like women. But like, back then it was like real subversive, like, playboy. Like, there was a short story in it, get this, this will freak out your noggin. There's a story in it, one of the early Playboys

where it was like a world where gay sex was normal. And straight sex is weird. Written by Philip K. Dick. Just bizarre fiction. Science fiction. So then, like, she marries a bunch of people. She married Joe DiMaggio, who's like a baseball player.

Arthur Miller. Yeah, Arthur Miller. I think Arthur Miller slapped her around. One of them did. Everyone was getting slapped around. Everyone slapped around. Was Joe DiMaggio a footballer? No, he was a baseball.

Baseball? You know Joel to Matt. I know a lot about Marilyn Monroe That's cool What got you into Marilyn Monroe? I used to have a little book series They were like Little Tiny Books

And they were called They died too young Jesus I'm just imagining little Reggie reading As a child You're like yep Yeah That's where I found out about

How Marilyn died actually And the circumstances Surrounding that Is this a kid's book? No Okay right It's like a picture book but like it pops out with you.

Baby's first celebrity death. So, yeah, we'll get to the death thing. That's a juicy bit. So, yeah, she married. They all slap her around. But you know that famous scene where, like, her skirt's blowing up? Yeah.

Apparently right after that, Joe was like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. Slip, slip, slip. And, like, she had then, so she was married to Arthur Miller and DiMaggio, but you had relationships with JFK and Robert Kennedy.

Yeah, yeah. Frank Sinatra. A Brando. Brando, Sam Giacano. Yeah, so now with the Kennedys, always get this mixed up. One, I think, was it like, Jack was just like, I'm fucking you,

but I don't really care. Was Kennedy a bit more like, no, sorry, Robert. Yeah, was a bit more relationship-y. It was more like, you know, can I come over tomorrow? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, JFK had, like, a genuine, like, sex addiction.

Like, there's, um, there's stories about, like, um, staff in the White House talking about, like, the president's aspirin, which is him banging women. And apparently he wasn't that good at it, well it was just very much a compulsion oh well didn't he ever hit a bad back and also he was irish yeah the irish curse he got he got fucked up in the war and had like a hole like in his spine yeah see into his spine what yeah he was fucked up i didn't know about it i didn't even know

he was fought in the war apparently yeah holy shit his brother died in the war the brother the older brother was meant to be the the main guy yeah and he was just the middle child just like the fuck and you know have fun and then suddenly they're like okay you have to be the main guy He's like, can I still fuck? Oh, can you? Oh, buddy. But, yeah, so wait, what is it? The president's aspirin?

Yeah. What was that? Code for him compulsively having sex. Wow. That's an interesting phrase to use. It's like, it'll make his headache go away. Yeah. Fuck up his back, though.

Yeah, yeah. But, like, in fairness, like, he's fucking all these women wilders, like, the threat of nuclear war, like, every day, you know? so hobbies i don't know i was defending him there i was like no he probably shouldn't be fucking you should be focusing on the war but then okay so let's get into um the did she did they potentially the kennedies have the rumor is and you can back me up on this wasn't she like a bit like uh luinsky she was like you know cracked yeah yeah she was kind of like i mean she like suffered like a lifetime of abuse so obviously that's gonna take it's cool excuses

I know, yeah, yeah. Well, you gotta say this shit now, don't she or else. I mean, like, if you want to get assassinated, she was trying her best, you know, like, she literally was like, I've got a little red book full of all their secrets. I'm going to tell people.

She's keeping a detailed diary, supposedly. Yeah. Like, all her experiences with the, both the Kennedy. And also, with the, because she was banging a mafia guy. Sanji O'Connor. Yeah, with him as well, she was like, oh, well, I'm going to reveal all your secrets

because you're not fucking me. She was, like, burning all her bridges. Yeah. so I want you to satter down It's like listen You can't really do this There is that thing There was that

Like obviously Yeah no I think it was like Frank Sinatra Took her to like this hotel Like for a weekend There was like a It was like

Sinatra Dean Martin Sammy Davis Jr. A few other people Yeah And basically I think he did Like look You're saying a lot of wild shit

About like the Kennedys And like Like it's not gonna turn out good for you If you keep going It's like Will you please just stop or whatever I'm sure he didn't say it as nice as that They were like

You're crazy, Dane Yeah, yeah But in fairness I think like her brain I'm gonna slap you hotter than Sammy But no But then she was like fuck you And then it was kind of like right She can't be reasoned with so

Also she's been pushed around like her whole life So she sounds like I'm sick of all you people Trying to help me No I get it like Trying to stop me from being assassinated Can't tell me what to do so then is it like so she's found no let me try and get the

the structure right here so she she didn't like a hotel room right no she was at home okay she's at home I fucking con you have notes on this shit well you probably know so what what's the story she was found by the help I think one of her maids yes possibly naked and just like unresponsive

on the phone as well that makes it sad phone in hand ordering a pizza Oh, I know the pan Yep, yep But yeah, so The little book that I read When I was a child

Mentioned a rectal bruising Whoa! Yeah, so She Pretty sweet book Lovely thing to read Tell me more Rectal bruising

Yes, so it's like common knowledge That like Marilyn Robb was like fond of the old enema As a form of like weight loss Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So to keep her way down I didn't know about that So she enamed herself

Or it was made to look like she enemed herself With a fuck ton of barbiturates So she had like about the equivalent of 40 pills in her system I think if my memory is correct But um this is where It is glass Yeah And then it gets into like conspiracy territory where

It's not really that bad of a conspiracy as well It's like not like lizard people It's more like It's sensible isn't it? Yeah I mean it's pretty The Kennedy's fucking killed like so she's about both Kennedy's

a mob boss it's like yeah yeah and then she was suicided but like wasn't it a thing like there was no water found

anywhere near yeah there was no I also no capsule residue found in your stomach yeah yeah also it would be pretty hard

to enamel yourself with that much shit yeah you know like so if you were to take a stab at it what would you say like she

she was just held down and like yeah and just Jesus man Well I mean she was like You know Not in the best of health anyway

From all the pills and shit So she might just been passed out Just like you know Don't even have to hold her down You know Maybe yeah That's probably true actually I've also heard that

She would go to a therapist And that particular day She spent three hours With a therapist You know it was normally like an hour Yeah yeah She spent three hours with him That particular day

And those rumours that like On the same day Like Bobby was calling her up And talking to her Yeah I think she was suicid yeah i mean i think there have been like uh like to classify documents that have come out like there was like a lot of shit that came out about jfk in 2017 and apparently like there was um documents that sort of uh corroborated that there was sort of like uh like even the housekeeper

was sort of implicated and like the housekeeper robert kennedy the therapist like they were basically all like yeah she's got to go and like you know you have have to help us do it or whatever. But again, who knows? See the thing about conspiracy theories. A lot of them, like, we were like, oh, it's crazy. That couldn't happen.

It's very easy to, like, kill someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really not that hard. No, like, a powerful person killing someone is like, that's, I don't know why people find it so hard to wrap their head around. It's like, no, no.

JFK wouldn't do that. That man was a saint. Yeah, I mean, like, I could do it. Like, you would, oh, so quickly would you do. do it. You would, no, but like, you, like. Well, you're on the bed. I'm like,

but I just know, if you were, like, given a, oh, yeah, here, we're gonna, would you like to have somebody killed and it'll ever come back to you? You would do it in a heartbeat, like, yeah.

Yeah, actually, it'd make me feel powerful. It would. It wouldn't make you feel anything, but you do it anyway. That's the real sickness of it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, so that's,

that's Maryland as well. Yeah, definitely got whacked. I'll tell you, though like I never really appreciate her but I watched some clips of her I do see why she was popular like there's a real kind of like dumb I don't say dumb

because she played up the dumb charm but then I watched some movies where she's not playing dumb and you're like oh she can actually act she's very funny yeah very funny have you ever seen any of her movies some like it hot and I haven't seen that many I watched a little bit of Niagara

is that the one that's like a kind of noirish kind of one and that's got a famous scene where it's just like her ass for 30 seconds in a dress like you know it's just her walking just completely out of context yeah yeah

director's like this is this is my greatest moment I don't think I've ever seen any Maryland movies actually have you ever seen that have you ever seen the

that's a hilarious like yeah yeah very Jack Lemon and what's it Tony Tony Robbins no that's the guru guy Tommy Robinson

we got tend to be Muslims Yeah, it is very funny And also it's like, it still holds up today Oh yeah, yeah So good I watched a few of them over lockdown Because my life was so empty

But like some of them are like super, super good And then I was I fell down to kind of a hole A Marilyn hole A Marilyn hole I watched the The clip where she's singing to Mr. President.

Happy births, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That almost makes you feel uncomfortable, isn't it? Yeah, it's like... This is too sexual. Yeah. Wasn't it, like, a big, like, scandal at the time? People were, like, yeah. He's delighted with himself as well, he's there at that.

Like, the wife's not even there, like, oh. Jackie's not around with her big mouth. But, I mean, like, how can you watch that clip and, like, like, everyone, like, not a single person could watch them be, like, they're not fucking, you know what I mean? Like, it's, like, she... They're just besties.

I hope they're fucking Because if it's really weird She's basically squirting All over the cake Was she like pretty fucked up as well She was always fucked up as well She was always fucked up I guess yeah

That's the thing like she God I'm so naive Is she? Marilyn drinking But I mean like she'd be like depressed a lot And like I don't want to do any of like Here take more uppers And you're grand okay

And she's wooden sleep And that affects people Yeah Funny that Oh have you ever seen it's an unfinished movie it's the one she was doing right before she died I forget what it's with her and Dean

Martin and Phil Silvers I don't think so no there's a scene in that where like she's in the pool and it's from the back and it's like everything but tape basically the way it's shot everything but nipple like

and you're like because apparently studio were like you know they fired her and they were like ah she's a mess she's ugly but she looks amazing in that scene yeah yeah

And it's a bit, you know, she puts the leg up. You ever seen that? Yeah. I hear just acting out Marilyn Monroe. Look, my dress is blowing in the air. Yeah, I'm going to be Joe DiMaggio. Can't wait for that? Oh, you're a big bat.

Yeah. Joe's a bit of a cunt, actually. Yeah. Well. What was the thing? Like, he left a rose on her grave every year. Oh, yeah. Have you ever heard that?

I haven't, actually. Yeah, that was the whole thing. I think it's a bit PR because he was like, oh, yeah, I hate that bitch. But he was like, he left the bouquet of roses on her grave every year until the day he died. And his final words, now I'll be with Marilyn. What's up? What's him better up, yeah.

I'll finally get to finish the job. You thought you were safe up there. She's up there like singing to Jesus. Happy birthday. Mr. Christ. Oh fuck We're over now We're there

Okay that was great I think we're gonna wrap it up now We have to do a Patreon still We can hop over You can leave if you want What time is it No I've got time Okay yeah

We do a Patreon Well people Some freaks pay for it Imagine What sad little lives They must leave Okay we'll end it here in a second You plug to the start

Let's plug it again Because we'll forget I'm forming at the Gaube Comedy Festival on the 24th of October It's running from the 19th to the 25th October in Galway City It's got such names as Nina Conti

She's good That's all you need Nina Conti and me She's got the puppets Yeah she's got the puppets Yeah yeah she's good now Yeah yeah It's very professional as well

You plug this straight away Some people are like Oh yeah I've got shit going on Yeah Figure it out I've got EP coming out soon As soon as we fucking record it Follow my band's Instagram

um zero mr sister zero uh what's the zero about because uh regular mr sister was taken oh okay bastards yeah yeah okay we're gonna end it there and now you know where to send your like hate abuse yeah yeah hate abuse yeah hate abuse follow me on twitter it's at lemony ricketts follow me on ticot you tick talk much i i got a viral video i'll talk about this more on the picture see if that's the tease there yeah so send your i'm not on the tic talk they don't let me on please I just want to

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