Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 137 : James Moran Rittenhouse Epstein

Episode Date: November 28, 2021

James Moran comes by and we talk private schools

I'm in see you. All right, we're going again. Oh, yeah, we're going. Sorry, yeah. I fucked up there. We were recording. That's twice I've done that now. Yeah.

I hit record, the battery went real low, so I had to change them real quick. But I did it pretty quickly. Yeah. Give me that. Give me that. Anyway. Will I give you to you? We're here with our guests.

I'm supposed to celebrate when you're not completely incompetent? Oh, right. I'm sorry, yeah. Well done, Brian. You said something that wasn't in your notebook. We're all very impressed. Off the dome, people. he came up with that all by himself

I was written down I saw it I saw it in the notebook I was rehearsing it in the car anyway Are you done? Are you done belittling me? Stop, stop fight in front of the guest We have a fan favourite Yes literally a fan favourite Sometimes you say that and no one's mentioned it

But we have people who are like Bring James back Yeah So we're here with James Moran Returning fan favourite That is true though People have like Oh when are you getting that guy back on

As soon as he returns my call A few people are a little bit, a little bit weirdly excited when you come back, where they're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, there's like, once I think the calm trivia, picture of me, you know this? Yeah, yeah, they've got fake nudes of you. Yeah. They've made themselves. See, Vogue Williams came out against fake nudes. What's fake nudes?

And who's Vogue? Like, deep fake? No, I'm not even deep fake. And who's Vogue Williams? Volg Williams, yeah. Who's that? You don't know what? My therapist raped me.

What? I'm sorry to hear that, but. Not here, Brian She's like an Irish media Personality And she has a podcast With Joanne McNally Called My Therapist Ghosted Me

Oh Yeah So she's like What She got famous from this like reality show Called Fade Street Oh yeah Kind of like the only way is Essex

But Irish You know like Like D4 Rich Yeah Dublin people But like yeah And they eat croissons

Yeah Yeah And put dildo up there. She got famous from that and then she said Muslim people should be in cages or something. What'd she say? Like a big cross-aunt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Muslim people are trying to steal my cross-offs, so put them in camps. Yeah, Muslim people ghosted my therapist. Yeah. So Vogue Williams came out and she's like, there shouldn't be fake nudes, I think.

Fake nudes just like, you know, real cut and paste. Like a Photoshop kind of thing. Yeah, but really badly Photoshop. Yeah, yeah. It's hard to, like, when you can tell it when the neck doesn't match the head it's very hard to bust you know yeah it's hard to crack it's a rita franklin's body and lindsay lohan's head you know what works for me every time though

john goodman as linda tripp that makes me calm every time without fail uh yeah what are we talking i don't know we're trying to talk to you james morin yeah i'll call you morin so don't get confused okay yeah yeah well it was the podcast what's it about? I guess... Just prececo. Yeah. They're on the Prosecco Express

having mad banter. My driving instructor ghosted me. I would tell you that. Really? Yeah. Wow. I had him for like 20 lessons. Okay.

And he was, for the first one, he was like, two weeks ago, I woke up from a coma. Would you believe that? And then, like, he got progressively sicker. Oh, dear. And, like, every, you know, every, you know, every time I... So he literally ghosted you.

in that he died. I think so. Okay, I see. I was real sick and then he just stopped answering the farm. Dear me. Did he go into like,

why is he getting sicker and sicker? Or he's like, it doesn't matter? He, he was for like, you know the way they,

when they want to like X-ray your brain or something? Yeah, like an MRI kind of thing. No. Oh, like an X-ray.

Of your brain. Okay, right. And they inject you with, like. Oh, the stuff, the colorful, the injecting of colored stuff.

Did you? Yeah. like this white, creamy stuff that smells of chlorine because it's really a weird needle and they they injected into the wrong part of him when he went into Oklahoma

what the fuck? Wait, is this like the dye the radiation die for an x-ray? Apparently they injected into like his spine. Whoa. Just like gung like just

I did it again. Oh God, how embarrassing would that be you're the new doctor Oh, my God. And you're trying to fuck the nurse trying to show off. Yeah. Like, I can do one hand. And I didn't turn him into a superhero or anything.

No, just... No. Yeah. Turned him to a very bad driving instructor. So... You passed in the end, didn't you? No thanks to him, because, like, after 20 lessons, he stopped answering the phone and I got a new driving instructor.

The other driving instructor was like, you don't know how to drive. Oh, wow. At all. So... It's like someone who... who was dying was trying to teach you Yeah

Yeah So he was a bit distracted Yeah By his own mortality Yeah Yeah So leave it out there Pail

When you're in this car It's all about just I pay you 25 quid an hour Not to think About your own mortality Just block that shit out When you're on the open road

All your problems Just melt away You know How many driving instructors Have you had Two? Two Okay

What about yourself? Just one I had one You got done just like the Oh no I kind of I had my first

driving lesson with this guy when I was 17 and then I didn't get my full license till I was 24 I was a very

like sporadic student because I moved to Dublin at 18 is like I don't need to drive it's all buses yeah

and I'm on you know legal highs all the time yeah the party we never end yeah yeah

probably way more money back then as well yeah no not real well no you could of off the dole back then quite easily.

When did you move to Dublin? I first moved to Dublin in 2008, just as the recession happened. So you, probably the last year or two of like legal highs? Well, yeah, yeah, no, because they ended around 2010-ish, wasn't it?

Yeah, I never actually got going to a head shop. Yeah. I didn't know about them. Yeah, no, the head shops, it was actually, it's insane. I mean, I've spoken about it before, but yeah, you could just walk into a shop, and basically go, can I have the cocaine, the weed and the pills, please?

Yeah. And you get, like, your whole weekend for 50 quid. And it would fuck you up. Like, you got legitimately off your face. I think they should open up, like, hardware shafts. And they're like, don't half this paint. Yeah, yeah. And don't inject this.

They got paint, you got glue. Well, that was the thing. The packaging all said not for human consumption. So it's like, you know, it's just for, I don't know what it was for then, or how they were getting away with it but yeah it was good times was there cases of people like village people rising up and like attacking the stores no well in dublin a few drug dealers like petro bombed the head shops because like competition yeah yeah because like you know it was it was perfectly legal it was a lot cheaper there was no hassle you just walk into the shop and buy it you don't have to you know

fucking find a dealer and go through that whole thing it was just very easy but you know there was an aspect of we don't really know what's in this stuff we don't know really what it's doing what the short term or long term effects are i kind of think i was always destined to be like mentally ill anyways so it doesn't really matter you know just got me there a little quicker perhaps put a little extra flavor a bit of extra spice on it you know i have disassociative states when i shouldn't but apart from that i'm fine you know it makes the mental illness a bit more fun yeah yeah more trippy it's sexier everyone's got anxiety and depression I was like, well, do you disassociate when you're in shops?

Ah, I didn't think so. You're right. Do you want to be the guy who just sits in the bus and is sad? Yeah. Or you want to be the guy that has loads of glitter and is thrown out old ladies. Yeah. You're fabulous. I don't know how we got on this.

But yet, my driving instructor was this like really kind of overweight, aggressive Scottish man living in Monaghan. Like, he was very like, oh, look at a lot of sexy arsh on that. It's like, well, she's a child. but yeah he was cool guy I remember I stalled out at a traffic light once

someone behind me beeped he got out fuck it he went mental ladders like fucking cop yourself on your stupid con I thought he was gonna like punch this old woman

it was great yeah what about you how many driving instructors I had like one proper one yeah he was sound enough you know

forget his name now he's a bald man and he was really big in his solar power okay yeah was his car solar power

no no no he didn't go he wasn't that he wasn't that gay but he was good and then for some reason I remember like my parents they were like

you're not to see that man he's dangerous you're right dad he touched me I don't care about that solar power what a freak because they were like

come on let's burn some tires for the crash this is what you're supposed to be doing okay yeah burn some tires to charge the phone you have your phone your phone connected to like

the incinerator yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just pouring shit into the river. No, but... Now, if you want the supercharge, you have to throw, like, an animal in there or something just to get it really cooking.

But for some of me, my parents, like, I'd done, like, six lessons with this one guy, and they're like, you know, let's just do another lesson with a different guy. Let's get a second opinion. Yeah, just to see, like, if you really are that shit. Okay.

And the other guy, he was real skinny, and, like, he was telling me about how he used to be a trucker in Africa. Okay. And he didn't tell me stories, but he'd, like, interstories we'd be like

oh there's some of the ones down in Africa oh you know like that or he'd be like oh the prostitutes in Africa

ugh yeah he's all sound effects when was this like in the 80s during like the AIDS epidemic he went to Africa

to get his whole he's a trill seeker yeah I tell you fucking out got bare grills over here be funny if he was like some of them down there

so it's honk of the horn for some of the other ones so it's flashed of the light Was he Irish or was he They were both Irish Yeah My parents wouldn't allow any other type

What age were you when you got your full license Very young Yeah My dad was really like The second you turn Yeah What age is it is 16 or 17 17?

17 Well you can get your provisional At 17 You can get your full license 17 If you plow through it Like Yeah That my dad was like

We're doing it right now Yeah No time for homework Or any that shit Yeah Why How do you end up doing Truck driving in Africa

I didn't ask I assume it's probably good money He didn't ask Of the prostitutes Oh Oh Hong Kong Um

I don't know if I believe Someone was like Oh I worked in Africa You know I think it's a lie She's trying to big dick me Impressed until a 17 year old Brian And I'm like

You're in Africa He doesn't know It's not a country It's my mother Not about you And like Maybe he just went to Blanchardstown You know

Yeah That's a Faboudie show. Yeah, he talks about, he says Blanchardstown is like Africa, so I'm allowed to say it now. I'm allowed to say it at a rally. I got the Faboo D seal of approval, you know? Yeah. What are we talking

about? We've got a lot of stuff talking to this episode. Yeah. Hit us. Where do you want to start? I watch King Richard. We can talk with that. I watch I didn't watch all the Ghostbusters, but watch the end of Ghostbusters. Afterlife. Yeah, the new one. So I want to see the CGI Harold Ramos. How

was that? Weird. Yeah. Because it looks too good really is it looked very he looks too good to you yourself yeah too sexy yeah but it looks so like him yeah that your brain like rejects it

what age is the the hologram what like what era Harold Raymond oh in the movie yes 13 years old yeah it's 13 years old yeah

big tits naked and it's okay it's a technicality child porn's legal if it's a hologram yeah no so in the film

spoiler Okay, but in the film, Harold Ramos dies in the first scene. Because he's dead in real life. Yeah, yeah. It'd be terrible now if this is the way somebody finds that out. I know. We break it to... Egon, no!

His family find out from watching it. Yeah, so he dies in the first scene. He's like an old man he's seen from the back of the head. Right, okay. And he sits down in a chair and then a demon attacks him. Oh, okay. Or some kind of shitty ghosts. Right, right, right.

And then, uh, Carrie Coon is the... the daughter, okay, and then Carrie Coon and then the kids fight the spooks. I don't know the way you say it. I'm not liking it either. And you know what, I can tell by the look on your face, you know it's bad too.

Carrie Coon versus the spooks. You can't get me, I have covered airtight here. They do. They do say spooks a lot in the movie. Really? Yeah. They do, yeah. Paul Rudd demanded that. What's a little stranger thing's killed? Finn, Wolfheart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so they fight the ghost then. At the end, the old ghost busters show up, you know, Danak Ride and Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson. Ernie Hudson, yeah. Oh, I got some nerd points there. And then they show up and they're fighting the ghost, but they're not strong enough. But then the ghost of Harold Ramos comes out.

Right. And he starts... And he just goes to the right. Bam! Yeah, he holds the gun to the side like that. No, I've said they shoot him. Welcome to Earth. Yeah. And he just punches him.

But he doesn't talk. That's the weird thing. Oh, the hologram doesn't talk. No, he just kind of nods. They're like, I guess you miss us, don't you? And he like nods. Yeah. You got to go back to the other side to fight the demons, don't you?

You have to fuck off now. Is that what you're saying? You killed yourself, really, and you pretend it was a demon. Yeah, yeah. What was his last movie? He did, wait, did he do analyze this? Was that him? What was he analyzed this?

No, I think you, like, directed it? Or was that Rob Reiner? I don't know. I'm bombing here. Keep it going. Oh, no. Look that out. No, no.

People need to see. They like to see warts and all, you know. Yeah, he directed, like, he did some good stuff. He had Animal House. Animal House, Caddyshack, he, um, uh, Groundhog Day, obviously. But then he had a few stinkers as well. He had a few duds there. But anyway, the point was it looks exactly like him.

Okay. And it's very strange. And is it, but is he like an old man? He's an old man, yeah. But they made him look old, which is he. even worse Yeah, okay Back of the day

They would have just like To cast a old guy They would have cast a no guy And then put a bandage on his head Covering his face It'd be like He can't talk And he hid his head

So he can talk We don't want to talk to you, Bill Murray Yeah And he's not going to appear on screen Apparently they didn't talk for years Yeah They reconciled on Harold Ramis's Deathbed

Really? So the story Yeah apparently They had a big falling out over Groundhog Day because they were working on it. I think one of them wanted it to be really like philosophical or whatever

and the other one is like, no, it should just be a comedy. Yeah. I think Murray wanted to be more serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? I've seen even like pictures of Murray there's a meme going around and he just looks miserable. He looks like he does not want to be there at all.

Oh yeah, exactly. Like on set or like doing interviews with Fallon or whoever. He was on Fallon to promote new Ghostbusters and he just looked like, you know, hide the shoelaces. But I feel like if you're, everyone to go back to a role as an actor, you're insane.

Like, you're just a very depressing person. I saw an interviewer of the guy I played Malfoy and... Oh, yeah? He was like, I'd do anything to go back and play Malfoy and Harry Potter. Well, that's just because he has no career outside of that.

Yeah. Bill Murray, you know, he's, well, he's Bill Murray, so he can do whatever he wants. No one's ever compared Malfoy to Bill. Murray. They're both American national treasures

in a way. Yeah, jeez, that's got to be a rough one for Malfoy. Even fucking Rupert Grint. Where's he been the Ginger Con?

I feel like Grint's probably got more points on the back end. That's true. But Malfi probably, he just goes to those conventions and each year

like less and less fans recognize him. Oh yeah, because he's getting older and older and they're like, oh, it's Maggie Smith. Are you the dad

of the actor who played Malfi? And he's like, ugh. He actually didn't he was at like the, was it the fucking, what's that, PGA tour, the big golf thing

Yeah, he fainted. Yeah, he passed out at it. Do you see that? Yeah, yeah. He didn't... Can't even watch golf properly. Imagine if he was getting out to Offers, but he's like, what's the character's name? Yeah. Is it Malfoy? Is it Malfoy? Yeah. No, it's no.

Is it a magic accountant? No, it's just an accountant. Can you please get off the phone? I'm waiting for a call. I better know. The Malfi spin-off and HBO Max. It's coming. I've pitched it. Yeah. Malfoy plays a wacky gynecologist with Michael Richards.

I'd watch that actually. Yeah, I'd watch that. I'd watch it backwards. Yeah, it's actually quite weird. There's never been a gynecologist sitcom. And you'd think they'd pitch that like, that'd be the number one thing. It's too rude.

No, you get away, because it's gynecologist, you get around with it. You know what? You'd have that camera shot, you know, in Tarantino, when they open the boot. It'd be the simmer, when they open their legs, you get that P-O-V, you know?

That'd be great, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, and there could be multiple doctors. Like, you know, a 70 show where, like, they're all passing around the joint. They're passed around the pussy. Right. That's great. It is.

It is. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with me. Well, that's, what would happen? Oh, I'm sure he's got, like, wacky in-laws and stuff. Yeah, yeah. He never really goes to work in it, even.

Does he? Maybe his mother-in-law is, like, oh, can you help me out when he looks to count. And we're like, oh, it's a living. Yeah, I don't know what you could really do with the gynecologist. Maybe his wife gives birth and it's a daughter and he's like, no. Now I'll have to be her gynecologist forever. That's the law. That's the law.

That's the gynecologist code of ethics. You make a pussy, you watch the pussy. And he's like, but I'm also a paedophile. He says it out loud Yeah The pedo gynecologist Yeah Well I mean

Frasier wasn't always about him being a therapist That was just the dressing And there was wacky stuff going on with his dad But he was also He was always therapist You know what I mean On the radio show Yeah

But even in his real life He'd be like you're like this Because You're secretly You know Paedify Yeah you're sickly a

paedophile radio presenter so what if this pido gynecologist was like you're at a bad mood because you're on your period or something

yeah yeah I don't get periods I'm only four is like ah it's the only load of the excuse in the book yeah

and I get in the van and it'd be like a female president and he'd be like we can't have this she's on a period once a month or once

however often they go on there How did we get on to this? Talk about Ghostbusters. It was Brian's idea. Yeah, yeah. Well, I had the idea, but, you know, I'm not responsible for it ended up. Yes, you are.

Anyway. If you shoot a bullet. I'm like the guy who started queuing on. It was just a bit of cracking and you took it too far. Yeah, you're like the guy who shoots a bullet into a crowd. They actually just indicted fucking Alex Jones and, I think, Giuliani and stuff about the January 6 riots. Oh, yeah?

For what? For like inciting violence. I think that's very vague. It is very vague, but I think they are going to try it anyway. I don't know how successful it'll be. Hopefully they get off like Rittenhouse now, you know. Let's talk about Rittenhouse. Okay. Are you on stage talking with Rittenhouse? Yeah. The day it happened. Yeah. You couldn't stop you. It's like Tick Natarro over here just like, wow. Turning pain into comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I was so pain that they. let him off. Yeah.

To be honest, I mean, I saw you do that material about Rittenhouse. I still don't know what way you're leaning. Yeah.

Are you happy or so? You know the thing though and this is, I just thought, well, I honestly believe this. Yeah. If you have an opinion

about Rittenhouse, you've been tricked. You've been gaslighted, okay? Okay. Because they've picked written house because it's not a simple case.

Yeah. So the algorithm, yeah. Also the media, okay? They don't pick the story that has like, you know,

I believe it's mom. Yeah, she shouldn't have given him a lift now, in fairness. If she'd just not given him a lift, this whole thing could have been a word. Now someone's making sense. It's a woman's fault. It's the mother's. Oh, I see. Like everything, it's a mother's fault.

You let them drive. Yeah, yeah. No, what I was saying is the algorithm, they push that story because it gets people talking. And then you can pick aside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm anti-written house around pro-written house. Yeah. And then you can like...

Which are you? I don't, I'm not going to be tricked by the algorithm. So you're not A coward then You're not against Renton House That's interesting I'm not for him

Are you? But you're not against him No you're making me pick a side That's what the algorithm No I'm just saying You're not against Wrettenhouse I'm not So this guy

You got him I have a gun in my house Any shit pops off If any petos Try to push me over in the street They're gonna get God I like to take I'm just really pro pedophile

Yeah He was a guy in a car And you murdered him. Yeah, now the written house thing, well, everyone's like, hey man, it's just a distraction from the Galane Gisleine Maxwell trial that's going on right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now that's the real shit. I do like with the whole Jelaine stuff,

it's constantly coming out being like, and her prison, you know, like her jail cell smells. And she is solitary. And like, she's just describing a normal present. Yeah, yeah. But like she is like But it's not for people like me Wasn't her name's Jelaine

It's yeah I think it's actually pronounced Galane But it's spelled like Jislane So call her whatever you want Oh the fucking piece of shit Yeah Yeah

The one thing I don't like about her Everything else Yeah yeah I'm just gonna call her I call her Jis Lane one time By mistake I'm gonna keep calling her that way So

Jislein okay Yeah She's in prison And it's just a standard prison But if you read her talking about the prison it sounds like she's in like a cartoonish like hell

yeah it's like all this raw sewage going boy and there's a rat that makes fun of me yeah a wise talking rat like hey how you're doing there mrs maxwell this place ain't so bad

yeah there's two prisoners like chains the wall and they're always trying to figure out like modern day politics well when you have been raised in such luxury and eloquence as she has it really is you know it's a real shock to the system

and it's like, what? After, yeah. But as she got in, she's like, what time do the children get here? Yeah. You're not allowed to see children at all. She doesn't understand it at all. She's like, what?

There's no, there's no kid on my pillow. There's no, yeah, there's no kids today. Like I meant, yeah, no kid on my pillow. I've come too late for today's kid. Yeah. No, there's no kids at all. So, like, she's solitary confinement. I didn't agree to this.

Yeah. So she is. It's happening right now It's her trial It's happening right now It's getting no coverage Yeah Everybody's focusing on written house

But like Brian said It's because it's not an easy thing Yeah Yeah yeah yeah You're saying about these two cases That like There's no clear side For the written nice thing

Or for the Jolaine Maxwell Exactly yeah Yeah There's grey areas All over And she hates grey areas You know Yeah

Yeah Brian you get it What grey What's been Great cuntare, Brian That's the joke Because she's a paedophile

Yeah That's the joke Yeah I got a spoon feed it to you Anyway I'm the massive I'm dumb Yeah

I'm uneducated So it is I don't think she was a pita Because like Oh no I think she definitely was About her It's like

She brought Epstein the cage Yeah she procured them And then she would just Get to like Fire Drown at her village in Ghana.

That was her reward. Yeah, like, she just had all these really weird things. No, I think I, like, one of the accusers did say that once or twice she did get involved

in the sex act. No, I don't know. Start licking their toes. Yeah, obviously not as much as old Jeffrey, you know. Yeah. Do you ever, like, ride a girl and there's a little dog

trying to hump your leg? No. Okay, right. You know, it was just like having sex with a girl and there's a dog in a room, dog kind of wants to join in. That's what Jelaine was like.

That happened to my roommate, actually, Shane, big fan of the podcast, shout out to him. He was riding a girl on the couch and a dog, like, came in, was that his asshole? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're going to stop. No, he didn't stop. Of course not. He's not gay. Yeah, yeah.

I think that was, that girl, he was taking that girl's virginity as well. So there's a lot of things were going on there, you know. Tell me more. Respect. That's kind of all I know, but it's just a funny story. Yeah, what if a snake, the guy didn't have adopted, he had a snake. Yeah. And it just crawls all the way up your ass

And you're like, oh, baby, I love the way you play with my head. It's like Adam and Eve, isn't it? Or they're like, woman thinks she's sucking your dick But she's sucking a snake's head. Oh, yeah, because its head is coming out your japside. Yeah, yeah. It shoots venom. I don't know a lot about biology or women.

She's a virgin. Yeah, she wouldn't know. Is this normal? This is what they all do? Is this the patriarchy? so yeah Jeline Maxwell what you think will happen to her

the thing is now she's kind of says like oh I got receipts and I could drop a dime on so many people I don't think she does oh I think she definitely does I think she would have dropped it earlier

if that was the case no because for the long like she's only kind of been incarcerated like somewhat recently she's been on the lamb for a long time I don't know

it's interesting personally I don't think she will say anything about anyone because she knows what happens because it's what happened to her dad and it's what happened to Jeffrey Epstein so she knows how it goes I think that the reason she's still alive

like she hasn't dropped the receipts because she's still alive yeah yeah yeah that's the train she's like she's like don't kill me and I won't say anything so kind of like if I die all this shit comes out maybe something like that if she's smart then she has set up something like that

but just doesn't sound very smart no no probably shit it'd be quite funny if she drown in her prison cell. The family curse. She fell off her yacht in the prison cell. And then she has an Israeli

state funeral. Yeah. It's pretty wild. Did you see Boris Johnson's sister was writing about it? Yeah. She said you kind of feel sorry for her, don't you? Oh, of course.

Yeah, kind of like a defense of Jeline. Yeah? She also said that wasn't she saying that Boris was like sticking his tongue in her ear? Something like that. Yeah, yeah. He does that to everybody.

Wait, what? The sister was like, oh, I remember Jolaine be hanging out back in uni. Yeah. And my brother Boris was there and he'd be like, you know, a little bit like that. Stick in the tongue in the air. Yeah, yeah, just in halls. That's weird. Yeah.

That's pretty weird. But like, all those lads that come out of like, what's that school they all right to? Eaton? Cambridge, Oxford. No, Eden. Okay. Right. Stop.

Stop when you were doing. I was thinking of the Cambridge Footlights. Yeah. The Bullington Club was kind of like their little private... Yeah, but they're all, like, molested the entire time they're there. Of course, yeah, that's, you know... So when they have to come out, it's like... They have to got to learn that sticking your tongue on someone's ear

isn't just being the hell out. Yeah, yeah. Imagine the pressure of that you join the Bullington Club and you're not very good of molesting anyone. Oh, yeah. And they all make funny, yeah. And you're trying my best guy. Yeah.

So squiggly. They're very fast. she's a kicker we gotta bite her here like they're like okay Brian that girl's passed out in the bed okay you can't fuck this up go and I go oh geez I fall over hit my head

slipping a banana peel they don't molest girls they don't molest adult girls yeah was he it's an all boys school right yeah yeah maybe that's why like David Cameron they gave the pig they were like practice on this pig

yeah yeah the younger boys like the young boys get the pig and you work away up to the Steve Frye got bummed in eating, didn't he? Oh, yeah. He never left Ian. He's still there.

He's on the board of directors. Never change. We don't have to change a thing. I read his book and I remember like being quite young. When I was young, I like Stephen Frye. I was like, oh, QI's funny. I read his book and it's like, you know, and we all took turns, master beating each other

and like, you know, I had to eat the soggy bits again. I was like, ugh. But Stephen Frye. He's like David Norris, where he would be like, it's good for you for that to happen. Oh, did he say that? Yeah, David Norris is like Petterasty is a normal part of the life.

No, no, no, no, it's not Petterasty. Because it's like a boy who's just one year older. That's how it works, you know? That's Petterasty. How? Pederasty is the... That's like the definition of it. I thought Petterasty was like an older man.

Yeah, you said one year older. Yeah, one year older, like... Technically, I'm right. Well, I'm going to get David Norris on the phone. No, you are right But I think it's the sixth year's molested in the first years Yeah, yeah, yeah I thought it was like clear like you know

If a six year and molested a first year That'd be bad But if the six doing it to the fifth And the fifth doing it to the fourth Okay I think the benefit of being the fifth year You no longer get molesters It's like

That's why they call it You know, if you ever heard of bad boys No Bad boys were like For life What? Martin Lawrence No

they were like you had a sort of one of the first if you were in sixth year one of the first just be your bat boy oh I have heard this yeah what

and then you'd just get to molest them Jesus Christ I have heard this you're right I'm wrong I'm wrong I admit when you read

have you ever read Rolled Al's autobiography and he talks about like when he was in one of these schools one of his jobs is to warm up the toilet seat yeah

for like it's such an innuendo yeah yeah yeah for i don't know for what but for something no i remember that i remember that book and it's all it's all played off for laughs as well where it's like you know every now and again the teacher would be like all right boys which

one of you is going to use your ass to help me and then you know all the boys would pull down their pants yeah the best ass would get to sit on the toilet and warm it up wow yeah Jesus

that's where charlie and chocolate factory came from I'm starting to wonder what the chocolate factory represent. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Roll dog got fucked. They all did. They all did, yeah. I went to an old boy's Catholic school. Nobody touched me. Yeah, same here. Yeah. You did?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. I just didn't know that about you. Yeah. Oh, cool. That's why I'm so normal. Yeah. So well adjusted. Was that any way of fun experience? No. I think I might be better off I went to a boy of school. No, you wouldn't have. I had the choice. Really? Yeah, I could have gone to a boy of school.

Beating you alive, my friend. I think that wouldn't good for me. No, it's only bad. Yeah, it's bad. It is bad. No, I think it'd be a hardship with it. Not enough hardship in my life.

Yeah, you just had a smooth run of it. It's all too easy. See, the hardship is like, it's like a boy jizzing down the back of your shirt. Yeah. It's like, it's all like pseudo-sexual. Yeah. I mean, I know, there was some of that,

but it was all like, I mean, I was always called like a, like my best friend in school was gay. So everyone was like, oh you probably suck his dick don't you can and you're foggut I'm like no I do not

how dare you sir I wish I wasn't eaten what what what eaten oh I wish I wasn't eaten right now

I had like long hair and all so everyone was like oh you're queer and there's a lot of violence like you know physical violence but I was never

I guess I mean arguably the sort of always saying oh you're gay and suck my dick and punching me in the phase there is like a whole morotic element to that but it never was overtly explicit you know see I went to a private school okay so all the boys are too

cowardly to fight each oh really yeah I couldn't imagine an all boy school where people aren't constantly kicking the shit out was it all was it all like you know my dad owns a yacht was it all that kind of stuff earlier like in first year there was a bit of that sort of stuff and then it's been around it turned into like uh uh uh uh like back massages and stuff like that really a lot of back massaging going on

people are all but deep heat each other and there's a thing like pub envelopes where you rip out some of your pubs and put them in a oh yeah

that was one like you know or a put like somebody's got their book open to the desk so you pull out some pubs and put it and then close it over

and then they open it's like ah pub book yeah you got pub booked bro yeah stuff like that yeah was there any kind of boys having sex with each other

with rumours yeah I'm sure on the same in I school I'm sure it was happening but it was probably in the you know the upper etchal on the dark sides of yeah yeah you know I was down the bottom

of the Titanic punching foreigners you know with the art students I was down doing woodwork with the normie kids yeah yeah metal work you know I was allowed to do metal work we didn't actually have metalwork there's only woodwork shops and stuff

we had business studies I had that too but like in a school in Monaghan is like if somebody has beans and they take away some of your beans you'll have less beans it's all like barter yeah exactly yeah

the barrel maker there's too many barrels now you get two goats and a raw cabbage now that might seem like a bum deal but it depends on the time of the year that might seem like a king's ransom but you have to feed the goat

their business studies just like okay just a chicken a goat and some grain and you have to transport across the river this is true now my business studies

teacher in like first to third year fucking Mr. Murphy was a prick right he had like he had this little

metal pipe like this little bar he called it Mr. Motivator and if you got a question wrong he jab it in your ribs

and it really hurt yeah of course yeah yeah yeah against my doughy little pubescent flesh you know

stop it Mr. Murphy To motivate you at all? No, well, motivated me to leave the class. I was like, I'm not sticking around for this. There's moments in like secondary school where it becomes obviously you're like fatter than other people. Yes, yeah. I remember one day, I was lucky I was out because we had to calculate like our body fat percentage.

Oh, that's who did that? I wanted the science teachers. That's awful. A real bitchy teacher. Yeah. Oh, I show you boys. Let's say who's got the tightest body here. She just guesses.

like, she's like, 35%. Yeah. Jesus. And I remember just being like, scary actor. I just see you going hot, not. Yeah. Hot.

That's horrible. I know, but I remember just been so thankful. Yeah. I was out that day. I never had that. Now, imagine trying that in a girl's school. Oh, yeah.

Murder there would be. Especially if it's like an older guy with a cigarette. Right. I confer my message are unconventional, but, uh, And it's business studies I'm so glad we don't have this I'm to have this in America The Presidential Fitness Test

Oh what's that now Just like a That's where they get everybody in the school To do like like A thing where you have to do a certain number Of push up certain number of press up So like you have to run a certain amount And the president watches

Yeah And it's like okay The president has decreed that you are not fit Yeah And you are being shipped out to Iraq Tonight Yeah we've got a weird thing we get all the unfit students to fight our wars.

The ones who can hold guns properly, no, you go into the business sector. You're going to Wall Street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that still a thing? I know it was a thing. That seems like something that they probably done away with a long time ago. Yeah, yeah.

Because of, you know, it's not inclusive or whatever. Yeah, it's probably got away. Definitely they had in like a 70s and 80s. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I do. Yeah. What cartoon? Oh, I do.

recess? Probably recess Yeah I bet the fat kid couldn't do it Yeah Remember Doug? Doug?

Doug was pretty sweet Yeah Doug was a bit too cool for me I can't relate to Doug Skeeter just scared you Yeah I would give my money

to the TV The fat kid from recess was actually He was voiced by this like billionaire son who was just like this fat heroin addict who died

only a few years ago Wait who died The billionaire or the actor The actor, the voice actor who did Do you watch Recess? Do you watch Recess? You remember that? I loved recess would get me so pumped. So like the kids...

I used to like, I hear the music and be like... Yeah. What a... Tender. That's what T.J. used to say. Yeah, yeah. I was just catch for it. Randall with his little Jew face. We all knew what they were doing there. Yeah. A little notebook, yeah. The press.

But yeah, no. So the kid who did the voice of Mikey, he was in like an episode or a season of Celebrity Rehab, Dr. Drew. and he called he just like kept calling all the women whores and stuff he was very catty what an incredible premise for a show

yeah just de-list celebrities at the lowest point in their lowest em like yeah he's an asshole but he's like recovering the amount of them that have gone on to die of an overdose is staggering like you know

you most even sadder is they have like you know I'm on heroin I'm on cocaine and you have other ones that are like just desperate to get on any show at all to be like oh I'm addicted

to television yeah and you know I smoke weed once so yeah yeah yeah that's something

yeah I've got I did heroin now I've got the munchies let me in I watched the movie about heroin

and I felt a bit sick so yeah Wonder Woman what you know she's a heroin oh yeah

ah yes yes that went over our heads that's too clever for us now yeah leave that back

in your private at school. It's your back massages. Yeah. Over here you'll just get violence and race at it.

That's what we're bringing to the table. Yeah, recess is awesome. Remember the movie? I know. Yeah, I think I saw a movie. What happened at the I think in the movie

the government took over to school. Oh! Yeah. And they were going to alter... This is a bit silly now. I think they're going to

change the position of the moon so there'd be no weekends. Yeah. Wow, this this new administration are really fucking cracking down you know this is kind of like I'd say there is people that are like

that's pretty awesome because then workers don't get any break and the kids got stay in school all the time I think that was the evil plan but then T.J. and the gang yeah yeah saved the day and the principal had to team up with TJ. Miss Finster

no the principal Miss Finster was a lady what? Remember the principal? Oh the principal sorry yeah you're right yeah my bad in my bell yeah the moustache. He had a moustache Yeah, I can't remember the principal. I just remember Miss Finster and Randall.

She was a ride, wasn't you? Oh, yeah. God, it'd be great riding her, because it'd be like, you know, stuff going all over the place, you know. You stuff moving, all jiggly, like... Yeah, you just stick your dick in a roll of fat. That's the same thing, you know? Randall is there. Yeah, taking notes as well.

Oh, so that's where it goes. If she doesn't come, that's better for you somehow. Remember those the diggers? the kids that would dig the diggers yeah you know what I'm talking with don't you yeah no I do actually remember

I love them now they were fun I should love digging holes in school digging was awesome like yeah I had the whole plan I was going to dig at like my own little house

and I have like underground where no one could find you I think every kid has this we're like I'm gonna dig my own little house okay and you start and like

you know you dig for like five minutes like oh this is shit this isn't gonna happen I remember digging for like like everyday at school for the break just digging a hole

for like a week wow I know I didn't have the dedication for that to be honest no yeah it was 25 feet deep really yeah

how did they allow that to happen no we moved in we moved in you had a GCB yeah it was the whole thing I think it was only ever got to be like half a foot deep

I bet now if I was digging a hole and I was like this is going to be my grave I get so much young people pussy. I'm digging my own grief.

Yeah, yeah. I'm such a torture... I'm missing the Lincoln Park. Crawling in my skin. Yeah. You ever go for that, any of that emo pussy, you know? I missed out on all...

Roar X-D Bush. I missed out on all that good stuff. Again, I kind of feel like I would have been way more healthy if I did go through that, like, you don't understand, Mom. Yeah. Fucking the rich people, the poor people die in the war, Mom.

Yeah. I think you're greatly overestimating how empathetic those kids were, like. I'm just not cutting myself because you won't let me go to the mall, you bitch. Yeah. Do you go to an emo phase? I remember being intimidated by emo. I remember I wanted to be one, but, like, be too scared. Okay.

Yeah, it did look like a whole kerfuffle, didn't it? I was like a metal head, so we used to, like, bully the emo. Like, you guys suck! Yeah. That's healthy It's not No, it's really lame I remember the emo

was in my school There was always like The ones that are very emo And they need to have like The girls They put no effort into it whatsoever Yeah just like they're hot But they have like

One streak of red hair Yeah exactly yeah You could walk away from this lifestyle Any moment you want And you'll still be hot The guys have fully committed to this And there's no getting out It's like gang life

You know They've been sexed in Yeah Nah The emo thing wasn't for me now, you know, I was... I don't think I've ever gone through a phase. Really? Ever, yeah.

Okay. I've just been me the whole time. Yeah. No, even an attempt. Like, I dyed my hair once. Did you? What color? Like blonde.

Oh, yeah, I remember that. I did a talon before it was cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, you've dyed your hair as well. Yeah, I did it before Matthew as well. Oh, well, it suits you now. Thanks. Especially with a hat as well.

He's very sick at the minute I hear. Is it to do what the hair done? It's seeped into the follicles And he's... He got the cheap shit Yeah Place his brain Yeah he just put

Domestos on his head And it's something We're like Matt you've just changed the hair You'll be fine He's like no This leukeia will go away Tomorrow

It's like no It's my new persona Oh shout out to Talon We hope you get better He actually is very sick Is he really Yeah I think he is Oh shit I feel bad

No I'm sorry Like proper you know Oh no don't tell me that By the time we upload his episode and his family listens it's his last like he just

flatlines it's like oh well I'm sorry Matthew I hope you're feeling better no he's flatline and I burst in like give me

let me try something I press play you're like patch out what were we going to talk about this episode we had loads of talk about we're at like 45 minutes let's talk about

King Richard okay have you watched King Richard Morin no you haven't I haven't either. King Richard, we were laughing at it before we started watching it.

Yeah. I still haven't watched it. No, well, we were laughing at it. Explain what it is. King Richard, it's about Richard Williams. Who's that? Father of Serena and Venus Williams. And Will Smith plays Richard.

But, I mean, I'm going to have to do the voice, but this is very accurate. This is how he played it. He's like, uh, as a, it's very like, I don't know, Jim. As the plays of tennis. Yeah, it's like, Oh, Mazzar goes Gonna do real good In the tennis now

And like, it's very, Very Jim Crowish, you know. Right. Yeah. But in fairness, he did grow up in that era. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, he's an old soul, you know? Fair enough, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've watched it. I watched it, I thought it was class. Yeah. Which one of them was married to the guy who started to Reddit? Yeah, do you know about this?

What? Yeah, one of them married, one of them killed a guy and the other one married the head of Reddit. These bitches is crazy. I love it. and they play tennis The guy who met The guy who started

Reddit I think it's Venus is the one who married the Reddit guy And like He's not one of these

secretly athletic nerds He's like He is Like the shape of a fridge Like he's just Oh really? So unhealthy

Wow Yeah Damn Horaph I don't know who that is But anyway She had They have a baby

God damn God it must be great to be married To like a fucking athletic lady yeah but like you know she could handle it though because they're both very

like they're quite built very strong sturdy ladies they could fuck you up they're like monsters yeah they are and I love it pure just beasts and the other one killed a guy but it was like a vehicular thing

oh the old Caitlin Jenner yeah yeah exactly and also it's probably other guy's fault did the guy sell did he sell his shares in Reddit or is he still like control and owns it Which guy? The Reddit guy? The other guy killed himself.

What? The other Reddit guy. Two guys started... I don't know. I don't know about Reddit. Two guys started on Reddit and then one of them killed himself. And then the other married Venus or Serena Williams. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. An ego death of sorts, I suppose. Eyes up and... Which one killed him, man? I think it was Venus. Okay. I was open it would be like she didn't win a tennis ball. Serena.

is kind of considered the better of the two isn't she? Serena has won the more of the other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Vanessa open the door, she's the older one and then Serena Barrett's true. Did she play tennis as well? Vanessa and Serena, they both played tennis, yeah. Vanessa? You mean Venus?

Venus, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, who's Vanessa? I don't even know. You're throwing curveballs out of it here. You wouldn't even know. Vanessa Williams, Star of ugly Betty, she's a sister. And they called me racist when I made it said that, oh, they're probably related. Ah, I've been vindicated.

I find, let's see the truth. Yeah, but King Richard is awesome. Like, there's one scene, okay? So he's in the Compton. He's in the, in the gutter, you know? Sure. Okay. And there's like, got one little tennis court to go to. Yeah. He's these big hood guys, you know. Yeah, yeah. We're going to pull a train on your girl.

Oh. Yeah, we're going to pull. We're going to fuck her up real good. Slap around. Put gun or pussy. Yeah. And Richard's like, please don't say that. She's only 16s. Yeah. not making like contact He's like, he's like a little bitch

Please don't And they just slap They pistol whip him like Just slap him around Really? Yeah and he's got like How bad must this feel You have to like

The daughter see him Get pistol whipped Okay That's it If I was making this film I'd be like Actually I kick their asses You know what I mean?

Yeah Like it was my biopic I'd be like You see kill Bill I do that Yeah No they didn't make me look Like an assone

In front of my door Yeah so the first time He's got like Limp back Into the van And drive him home he's right oh god sorry girls no tennis today yeah okay table tennis it is there yeah so the second time oh no you don't use our table tennis get out get out now sorry so the second time couldn't

couldn't help myself just couldn't help us it wasn't even like called for no really really unnecessary doesn't even work wasn't organic had to really wedge it in there but anyway what are you going to do so so the second time it gets beat up but he's not going to take anymore so he gets a gun. Oh. He gets a tennis racket. Yeah. No, he hits him

with tennis racket. And then they beat him up even harder, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They, like, kick him in the ribs and, like, they put a gun to his head and, like, not even work the bullet. Yeah.

You know? You're not even worth a tennis ball. Yeah. So then he, like, he follows them afterwards, okay? And he finds them, they're, like, hanging out outside, like, a coffee place, something like that. Right, at Starbucks? Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

Compton Starbucks. Yeah. So then, like, he's like, oh, shit, I'm gonna, so he walks out, he's got the gun, okay? he's about to raise it he's like raising the gun slowly slowly then a car drives by and shoots him oh yeah yeah yeah and he's like oh shit and runs away wait shoots at him no no shoots the guys oh shoots them sarah i thought he shot him no oh so they just got killed in a drive-by yeah they shimp the guy he was about to kill oh okay he's like oh shit and he runs home then then goes back to tennis

really yeah it's pretty tense scene yeah that's cool uh Do you think he felt happy about that? Do you think it's even real? Or he's like, oh, yeah, I was going to shoot them too, but some guy beat me to it. I was definitely going to do it. I was so close. I was doing that thing where I hold the gun up and go like,

you know what, I don't even need this and throw it away. And then do like, come on. Yeah, come on. Do they like the Matrix? Yeah, yeah. He's a beckon kind of. One hand behind his backs, like, come on, I'll give you a fighting chance.

You go, woo, and you're spinning around, and there's two trans women directing the whole thing. Yeah. so I know in NWA they really talk to the liberties about making them look good you know oh yeah yeah

I do loads of bits where they added out the bad stuff they're like angels and they're like yeah we're like just Dr Drey beating every woman he's ever spoken to

yeah yeah but I like this one the way he's just like yeah I was a loser and I couldn't even defend my daughters he was a loser

like and then the whole thing is okay so they're really good and they go to the Punisher, Joel Bertol. John Berthal. John Berthal. What? You know the Punisher? The movie.

The guy John Bernthal, he was in The Punisher on Wolfo Wall Street. He's an actor. You'd know him, okay. I know you meant to do like, where to see the movie. Yeah. And he's like, I'm basically like that. I feel so inspired. Yeah. He's wearing like a t-shirt with his skull on it. He's got a bit of a belly. It kind of looks like the skull.

as frowning yeah that's so funny the idea like they go to all these fancy country clubs okay

he's got to punish your shirt yeah and they're going and like come on tent me

tent me I killed him nearly nearly nearly did put away the fire up you best

not test me do you think if James and I were going to record a podcast and then these

talks from the using the microphones would you would I be going up them being yeah

they're only 16 they're only 16 Yeah we're walking past Oh yeah We're gonna pull a train On their little boy pussy Yeah

Leave them alone Yeah What would you do God that'd be so bad If I get battered I know what We go around the corner We could recreate that

There's always a gang of youths Like hoodies Hanging outside the shop They've got their bicycles And their scooters And they know I can't hit them And powerless I make you walk past

Your shorts Kind of hanging down You know Showing off a bit of crack Okay Yeah Yeah And then I have to

like, oh God, we're so terrible. I have to drive you guys home. Yes. And you all know I've been emasculated. Yeah. Brian, why didn't you stand up to them like you said you would? Yeah. Because they were kids.

If they were older and bigger, I would have hit them. It's because they were gay. You can't touch a gay guy these days. Fucking LGBT, you know. Yeah. Have you ever been hassled by a teenager? Actually, not there. No, not really.

Really? They kind of leave me alone. I'll tell you what it is now They're like that guy's crazy I'm very good Like I'm like loco But I'm very good Even like yesterday

I was in Tesco And it's like a bunch of like kids You just know Like they're not wearing masks Yeah And they're like They're rabble rosers Yeah

You don't You don't You know You're like You're like here's a mask for you Put that to punish a mask No but Don't die

No but I do liberty I act like I'm not afraid of them I walk towards him You know And I don't make eyes contact but don't not make eye contact yeah yeah what does that even mean yeah do that to me now okay so pretend you're like a 16 year old teenager all right okay and you've got tattoos you're two

young to have tattoos yeah okay okay so this one is for you know killing a guy yeah this one's for killing a animal yeah this one's for killing a pig I got a tear drop on my bald sack yeah I'm real fucked up I got a tear drop every time I jiz. So I'm walking towards you all right and you're like

pushing your friends around I'm going like this okay so notice I'm not looking at you but I'm not going

like sorry James some old losers looking at me yeah yeah why do you look the other way and I just don't

I don't acknowledge you know what you want to make out with them or something here bait yeah yeah what's good

what school did you go to eat we got an eating over here they're like you got to eat and I know what this means

then just pull down your jugs right there in the frozen aisle. Yeah. Yeah, they show fish fingers up your ass. You boys, we're going to have to pay for those. You rabble rousers. Yeah. And there's a security guy coming on?

No, no. I'm handling it. I'm handling it. I'm not looking at them. I'm not looking at them. I'm handling it. No, I got completely like, annihilated by these kids. Really?

What are you doing to you? walked out on my door of my house really they're waiting for you wait and then

it doesn't brenda flicker live near your house as well yeah she's with the kids she said the kids there he is

let's get she's got a bunch of pigeons around her and then one of the two you know the way

there's like two small ones and then there's always one giant it's all the same age four guys

like three times as tall yeah and I walk with the limp I heard one of the go, there's your man with the leg, right? Point of me. Okay.

And I'm like, don't engage. Yeah. You know what I mean? Look at them, but don't look directly. Yeah, it's the tooler technique. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just try to look around them. And then the big guy was like, how you bought everything all right?

And then he went like, he went for a fist bump. Okay. But I didn't know what he was doing. Okay. So I, like, grabbed his hand. Oh, dear. Because I thought he's gone for like a, a, a, oh, yeah, like a kind of, yeah, cool guy, you know. Grab hand.

I get you But I said I just grabbed his fist And then he was like All right man I walked off See I was just like

I've lost it Completely No that's awesome Yeah No way Now they're like Well this guy's a bit local I wouldn't

That wouldn't be enough for me I've got a taste of blood Now I need more Yeah I'd be begging them to come hit me Kiss my shoes Boy Yeah

Yeah Yeah That sounds fine to be honestly We're just like Hey what's up And you misinterpreted it Yeah And you stood up yourself

You know And you were like Don't fucking touch me Yeah They think I like caught upon Yeah Yeah And you think we're kind of

Twisting his arm around Yeah And he's still like Uncle He's still like He's still like Yeah Wow

We really beat up those kids Yeah Nice Yeah No like We used to get it all the time And Monaghan Like you go out

And people You know What would they show? What would they show? It's like You're hair wanker you big queer i was like dad go home yeah good one there and no no just like dickheads scumbags they're just like looking for a fight yeah i was never like oh yeah let's get them

but like i had one friend in particular just loved fighting who's like right let's go boys i'm like oh please do we have to yeah so i had to sometimes get involved and i didn't like it i was pretty good at it because i was usually bigger than them i bet that felt good yeah it does but like i wasn't like oh yeah champion prize fighter year everyone ran

when they it was like I was just kind of like I was hanging around people who loved fighting and

were good at it so I was like oh yeah I do a thing where I have like a wrench in my sleeve yeah

brass knuckles yeah like escalated it way too far pull a gun yeah like the retard in eight miles

like you want to fuck with us huh oh cad what are you doing with a gun I shoot my own dick off

I'd be like you know the way Kyle Rittenhouse said that big gun I try and hide that

my sleeve oh I thought something funny during a week actually what about Dr. Dr.

Kyle written house Yes yeah what Dr. How's Kyle written house

imagine that yeah how would that work yeah expand with that he'd like walk around

the place yeah yeah walk around the hospital saying stuff you know so he he's so

whacked on Vicid and he can't shoot straight yeah yeah yeah the hospital the stuffy administration

or like Dr. Rittenhouse you keep shooting patients like well maybe my methods are unconventional but yeah yeah that's funny

yeah sure SNL could do that they could SNL will do that yeah or what about a full written house you know like full house

that's good yeah got Bob Seigott and John Stamos he shoots the twins shoots the Olsen twins yeah torpedoes yeah

what else can we do now okay the house that Kyle Rittenhouse built That's in Jack The house of Jack built Yeah Yeah I haven't seen that I've heard it's good though

It's fun yeah It's pretty fun Lars von Treyer It's good on a date To show him that like Let them know what you're in for What is it? Noel Edmunds fun house

This is cartoons for me Yeah This is the Simpsons You don't like cinema This woman's getting Inviscerated Yeah Is it yeah I've heard it's like

incredibly violent and disturbing He wears a woman's skin Oh yeah Yeah He builds a house out of dead bodies Oh really? Yeah yeah That sounds very silly

He builds a house out of dead bodies Yeah I build them out of breaks Yeah yeah Doy Imagine that That'd be one fucked up Yeah That'd be one fucked up

Storytair The pigs And one of the house out of dead bodies And the wolf was like What the fuck said it's almost as bad as the mica material. Hey! Yeah, if someone said to me,

you can live in a house built out of Micah or a house full of dead bodies. I'd be like, don't even know. It's a no-brainer. Yeah. If someone said to you, you can have a house full of dead bodies, you can live in Donnie Goh.

Which would have been. How'd you get to planning permission for that, hey? It's a fun film. I actually ended up watching it twice because I watched it with one friend. Yeah. And then that same friend was like Let's bring more people over and watch it again

And then let's watch them while they watch it Yeah, exactly, yeah There's some good kills in it Yeah And your man, is it Dylan? Matt Dylan? It's great to see Matt Dylan working I like Matt Dylan, yeah

Yeah And it kind of gets a little bit No spoilers But it gets a little bit Sexual Lars von Trierie at the end Okay Yeah

Yeah Right Stuff's being so conventional And starts being coming Unconventional Yeah, I get you And I quite I liked it.

I liked, some people didn't like it. Some people don't like it when it gets a little bit. He's quite a polarising figure, though, Lars von Trier. Yeah. Let's go out to the Carretton House, you know, house. Thing, yeah, yeah, let's do it. I honestly like, you know what? Yeah.

There's rioters or protesters. Yeah. Hang around my farm. I'm just saying. Carlo. Yeah, yeah. They try to destroy Cardo. then I'm just saying

you know Or what about a White House down Written House down He's got to protect the president Yeah exactly But it's actually JFK Jr He's bringing him back It's like

You're the real president Jeannie Fox is JFK Jr And then because all the presidents are petos He's like I don't know who to shoot Yeah I'm gonna need more bullets Yeah

Yeah Yeah that'd be good I just got through the list Of my head The other day What list of who's a pito or the president

okay all of them well no this is the thing Biden yes yes he sniffs children on camera demonstrably yeah 100%

Trump yes I don't think so no no no because remember he went to the island to Epstein but he only hung out to staff yeah yeah sure

he didn't actually rape any kids well there's a girl that came out and said he raped me when I was 16 and then he also ran the like Miss America He kept sneaking into the girls room.

Miss teen hot EUSA. Miss teen, the itty-bitty-titty committee presented by Donald Trump. Obama? No. No? I don't think so. Okay. Yeah, Obama's too cool for that. I feel like he didn't do it because he was like I can't let the black community down.

That's white people shit. I'm not fucking around with that. He's like the first black president can't do that. Yeah, okay. Second black president. I've already got a trans wife. So I'm already getting by the skin of my teeth. I'm already from Kenya. Yeah, it's a hat and a hat.

They call her Man Shell. That's not even a joke. That's what they call it. It's your name. It's not even a joke. It's your name. It's a real name. It's not a birth cert.

Her Kenyan birthsert. Man Shell. Bush? Which one? I don't think so, actually. I think Senior, Daddy Bush definitely a hunts. I don't think Junior. I think Junior, he was getting some hot pussy.

He was, yeah. He's just a good old boy. He looks cocaine. booze and Yeah, that's true Yeah, I think Laura Bush killed a guy That's right

How did she do that? Run a vehicular They love it Don't do these birds These famous women Love running men over I looked up a list Of celebrities

Have killed people Because I thought that'd be a Fun thing On the podcast All just vehicular Yeah It's all of it Also I didn't realize

You know the Matthew Broderick thing Yes You know he was driving On the wrong side of the road Yeah Yeah Very fast as well I thought it was like

Legitimate accident He was like He's very much at fault Yeah He couldn't not crash. But he was reversing down the wrong side of the road. He's like, sorry, so he driving down the wrong side of the

way. We're chugging a beer. Yeah. His cunt wife is there as well. No, she wasn't there. Oh, really? He was with his co-star of Ferris Bueller. Oh, yeah.

But it was the girl who plays his sister in the movie. That's who he was fucking depraved, sicko. I said, Brian, you have to be more careful with misogyny. Yeah. You're already getting that women hate people in cars. That's fine. That's justified. You've justified that. But you've got to just be like,

I got his wife's a cunt as well. Sex and City's coming back. Without Samantha? Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw's back without Samantha. Kim Cottrell's not coming back. Which one is Samantha? She's the real old one. She'd be like 80.

Yeah, she's... Mid till 860s, probably. She's in the new How I Met Your Fadder. Oh, God. Yeah, they're making How I Met Your Fader. Is she the... father she's the in this thing in age

she's the mother yeah she's the one narrating oh she's like the Bob Sagitt yeah yeah and I think it's Lizzie McGuire plays the wow plays the Ted Mosby apparently the guy who played Gordo

in Lizzie McGuire yeah he's always like tweeting at her oh really and she's like not up for really give me on Gordo what let go

No, Smash. I never really watched Lizzie McGuire, but I know here you're on about it. He's kind of like the weird dork or whatever he was. Dorkable, yeah. Remember Frankie Munez showed up for an episode? No. Playing himself.

Really? Yeah, that was pretty old. I remember when I saw it, I was like, What the hell? She! Yeah. Yeah. Yo, Pops, check this out.

Yeah. And he played Frankie Munez. Yeah, he played himself. They were all like, oh my God, it's Malcolm in the middle. Why was he there, though? what was the story like I was just hanging out I just like

I just like all the random high schools hanging out they used to do that with Drake Bell yeah they'd be like oh my God

is Drake Bell yeah hanging out in the high school long after his career ended he still show up yeah hey it's Drake Bell again and he's like

remember Drake and Josh no we don't yeah I was in an episode of Seinfeld was he he was what

yeah that's what oh you get you're not I'm listening. Yeah. All right.

You're going to have to subscribe to the Patreon for that. Let's end the episode. Actually, let's do it. Yeah. No, I love this now. Well, there's no way they can find out. But I want to prove that I'm telling

the truth and I didn't just say it. Okay. It's been funny if he's made it all. One word. Frogger. That's all I'll say. Final season. Frogly.

That was near the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a little kid playing it in the Pizzeria. Yeah. Holy shit. Pizza? Pizza?

Froger Kramer was there It all ties together Yes Yeah yeah yeah That's how you end the episode Tell you so yeah Well let's tease them

We're going to do the next episode now Okay We didn't get to any of the stuff You had planned Yeah We're going to talk about Home Alone Home Alone

Home Alone Home Alone Home Alone 2 Okay Okay The first one No shit First one was skipping over that

No about Kyle Written Home Alone Oh Oh Kyle Written Home Alone Yeah Yeah Pretty fun movie yeah

And he'd be justified as well. It ends at about two minutes just br-h-h- Yeah Yeah

He shoots Daniel Stern's Big nose off Yeah Right in the schnoz Yeah So let's End it there

All right Cheers Is okay if you do One more episode Let me let you go Yeah Can I go to the shop

Of course Yeah Of course It's been A distance So you have to We can drive Yeah

Okay cool You brought The car Yeah Yeah It says close This is the free one Yeah

You got anything You want to Plug Yeah I'm a podcast To my own Yeah It's got primordial views

With role Yeah Now we need to get role On the podcast Roll is good energy Yeah He should have brought him here today Should have yeah

He's good podcast in voice I always think He does He's confident You just know He ooze his confidence Yeah It's always hitting on people

Really? No No no No He's very respectful No No he's saying I bet he is respectful

Okay He doesn't even realize He's hitting on people He's getting girls wet He doesn't even realize yeah yeah he's got that thing he's be like I'm sure he's glad you're saying this I'm building them up you know

yeah he's got that way where he just be like hey how you doing and you're like he genuinely cares yeah what about me by do you think I'm getting girls wet yeah yeah yeah okay so no actually no you've got a confidence I was saying this often like you've got so I get them dry yeah you've got a confidence

he wets them up I dry them no I dry them out you both get the same girl wet but from different different methods okay I get a mouth wet You know what? I give them wet brain because they drink so much. Here's a tip actually for getting girls, okay, before we end up. Oh, finally. Okay.

So, why do we each give a tip? Okay. Well, you go first, Brian. Well, tell you what, let's say for the Patreon. I've got a surefire way to get girls. I'll tell you for three euro a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ironically, that's the tip as well.

Pay them three euro a month and they'll do anything to you. All right. Did you plug everything you want it? Yeah. Okay, primordial views with James Moran and Ronan Carey. It's this point, yeah? Go check it out, yeah. Okay, square.

We're very professional. Hit the square.