Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 141 : Don't Look Up

Episode Date: January 1, 2022

Xmas is over and we getting flagrant.

No, we did some Patreon episodes. Patreon episodes. Patreon episodes were good. They were good. Especially that second one, you were in all cylinders. I was. I was in awe. I was just looking there, being like, what the fuck?

It's like, you know, it's like watching Amadeus. Yeah, you know, I see what you're doing right now, and I don't like it, Brian. belittling me and my efforts. How are you doing, James? I try, so hard. I'm good. How are you? I'm doing well.

We had an expensive burger that was. A very expensive burger That was not worth the value Not at all A bit of a Karen moment there Yeah, yeah yeah So tell them what happened So we ordered some expensive burgers

I didn't realize Because I'm not good with money So I don't know how the price of things You're like fucking Michael Jackson Just spending I don't know the cost of milk You know so it was like 40 quid a burger It was like 12

It was like 11 or 12 euro Just for the burger by itself Exactly Yeah And then like it was the guts of like 16 or 17 quid for chips and a drink. It was mental. Yeah, I didn't know. And I was like trying

a big dog yet. I was like, yeah, I can afford that James. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. But then as soon as I pressed down, it's like, oh God, I'm fucked. Oh, Jesus. Mom, please. I need you to send me more, buddy. No, Brian, you're not in the expensive burgers again, are you? I can't help it. It's my secret shame.

They're so expensive and not delicious. It wasn't. They were not good. They were fine. No, they weren't. This is exactly like don't look up. It was shit. I forgot that's what we were talking about in this episode. This episode is the don't look up episode.

We're talking about don't look up. Don't look up. A movie that came out on Netflix by Adam McKay starring a whole host of famous faces. An ensemble cast. Yes. A big load of cunts, all right? So we watched it.

We watched it. And it raised some important issues. Yeah, really. Well, that's what the film thinks they're doing. I don't even think... Okay. Hearing them, people behind the film, hearing them talk about, are like, this film can really save the world.

Oh, I didn't, I see, I haven't heard... See, here's the thing. I knew about this movie, because I saw the trailer for it. I was like, oh yeah, that'll be fine. And then you watched it, and you were like... I haven't seen you get this angry about something in a long time. You got proper... I've had women cheat on me.

I've had people spit in my face. you were so like we were to group chat with like the lads that we did the podcast with there a couple of weeks ago the shy talk boys and there's like a couple other people are in it but you were like

don't look up has anyone seen it yet it's fucking shit he's 400 words about why you shit and then like you know Larney was trying to talk like shut up Larney this ain't your place I don't care if you need dialysis okay

listen I know it's like you know when Gordon Ramsey looks at a burger you'd probably think oh it's you know it's nice you know there's two buns a bit of meat

I think that's meat anyway I'm the real I'm the real expert here on the cuisine I'm like now it's all wrong it's bloody shit

the movie's burned yeah yeah you go up to Adam again put a slice of bread beside each ear what are you I'm an idiot sandwich

I mess up though what are you what kind of sandwich are you? What kind of idiot sandwich are you? So that's what the episode is going to be about. Before that though, let's just run through some things. I took down some notes things to talk about, so just run through them real quick.

The BBC are going to pilot an anti-woke show. An anti-woke show? Yeah. An anti-woke comedy show. Like a one-off or like an actual... It's a pilot and you're going to see what happens. But it's going to be like the whole thing is like it's comedians. We're not like the blue hair.

freaks. Yeah. Not like the people like, the quality, but the real guy... Yeah, yeah. No Ramesh Ranganethanathan around here.

That's good cold, isn't it? That's a dog where... No Rameshs around here. But, yeah, it's going to be the anti-walk show. It's for guys like us, you know, who smoke cigars. Is it like a panel show or what is it?

I don't know what it is like. Yeah, I assume probably a panel show of some kind, yeah. They love panel shows, don't they? The shittest format ever. It's just awful. And it's all they do.

The amount of good, that's like, oh, you're in a panel show? Yeah. And it's like, well, you're ruined. Like, Frankie Biles show. It's like... I can't watch that. Yeah, I think it's awful.

It's the same guess every time. And it's them just like, oh, here's a clip of Boris Johnson saying something a bit silly. Yeah. See, the thing about that show and all those panel shows, but that one in particular, the comedians are much more concerned but seeming intelligent than funny. So they want to say something clever as opposed to something. That's just funny. It's true, but even like have I got news

for you back in the day it was always like the comedian would be on and be like well actually not I did read an article that says the war in Iraq was bad

but then you'd have like the journalist or the politician that's trying to be funny so they're both shit because they're not doing their thing and then you'd have Johnny Vegas in the corner

crying oh shit me shelf he was always shitting himself he loves it I think I said it before I did a show in Edinburgh and the guy who was like

look at that stage dear guess you did a big shit on that stage Johnny Vegas Romish Rangan Pais. Ramesh wishes. Actually, I like Ramesh. I like Ramesh as well.

I used to listen to his podcast, hip-hop saved my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was quite fun, but you know what, ruined it. Because he used to be like he'd get underground guys that you never heard of. So he'd be like, yeah, today we're with Mr. Mix Mouse 4,000. Yeah. Yeah, this is some guy who makes tracks his garage.

It beats Swizzle from Kensington. Yeah, yeah. The Scum Torp. wizards then they were like they got started getting bigger and started

getting like big guest songs so it's like yeah my man James Acaster here hello

Ramesh I love hip up I say he's glad you brilliant what you think about NWA my

am I'm going to say it anyway Ramesh I think the people want Acast thinks NWA were pussies

yeah yeah you know what's weird about Ramesh Ranganathan is my auntie

says he he reminds her of me i see that yeah yeah you both you know glasses i don't even wear glasses anymore i gave it off that's a sign like that's maybe get her checked then something's wrong there she's like you know chris rock he reminds me of you but yeah i don't know what that's about i think it's like uh the sarcasm or something you know what i was thinking a lot about you've got a lot of these honkies, okay, white people that spend all their time on

Twitter talking about like, it's actually problematic, it's wrong, okay, and it's racist and James Caden's racist, okay? You know who you are. But we're putting you on blast. And we're going to batter you. No, but like, they're doing no

help. Yeah. People like Ramesh. Yeah. They're the ones. We need more Ramesh's and less fucking, you know, of them. Less Sarah Pascos. Yeah, exactly. She's terrible. she really is She's bad I'm sorry

She's bad What do you want I knew a girl Who likes Sarah Pasco Yeah Things are going Very bad for her

At the moment Oh good Car crash Let me just say I don't know If they're connected or not But

Princess Diana Oh that Sarah Pasco On Ramesh's show I was such a fucking parody of herself Yeah I actually like hip hop Because it's not

Just swearing and sexism It's actually a message There Yeah That bitches love Dick That's a mess honey

let's stop faffing about stuff messing about you this is going to be a debate episode yeah yeah yeah and I hope you got your notes prepared I don't at all I'm not in any way invested in this I feel like you know what I feel like though

I'm heading for a fall you know the guys who are like you're Johnny Cochran okay but I'm the guy being like oh god he's so OJ is so guilty I cannot lose this case this is going to be a piece of cake right now yeah

wasn't named that guy there was like a woman that was on the prosecution yeah yeah what was his name

Sarah Paulson that's it yeah Chris Darden yeah yeah Chris Darden yeah yeah yeah

yeah basically he fucked it up like but whatever yeah yeah so that's how I feel I feel like this is good this is the

okay well look like Icarus yeah now you watch don't look up before me to be honest

I was I wasn't even like I was gonna watch it at some point I was I was like yeah whatever I'll check it out but then you watched it and you got so angry and vitriolic

I was like well I gotta see this now just to be like I really did a bad reaction to it yeah you really did you know what my problem was because I was trying to play a cool and I was talking you before it came out being like yeah I'm not even interested in that film it was like the hot girl

and I couldn't admit that I was interested you know I was like yeah I mean if you're into that sort of thing I suppose a big cast Adam McKay Leo Aprio, Jonah Hill, maybe. Not really my cup of tea, but maybe I'll give it a watch, I suppose.

Science fiction, satire. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. So I was telling you I wasn't interested. Yeah. But there was a bit of me being like, this could be fun.

Yeah, I was looking, you know, I was thinking, oh, this could be good. And then, like, a day before it came out, I was like, could be fun now. I started hearing bad reviews about it. And I was like, well, you know, the critics, you know, maybe the movie was telling too much truth. Yeah, yeah.

Got too really. for the squares Yeah, maybe Adam McCabeer watch out Maybe the media Will try and kill him Yeah Because he's talking

With global warming And no one's heard About that concept before So So I sat down and watched it And I tried to keep an open mind Yeah I didn't sit down like you

Like you know Like this is gonna be shit Alright I didn't even I'm talking about other films Yeah Okay yeah Yeah that's how I sit down

To every film You should be shit Prove me wrong The credits roll And I'll still be unhappy be shit film will this movie fix my entire life

will spider man fix anything bad boys three let me down in ways I'll never recover from I still need pills Martin Lawrence did

nothing for me okay so you watched it and you you had a reaction I was having reactions during the film okay normally I try and to keep a mind clear at the end say what does I think

about that film but I was thinking about stuff during the film I was like This is not good Okay, so hit me I'm not invested It's not

It's not really shot like a drama Yeah It's not funny People are saying it's smog or it's preachy If it was more smog and preachy At least be interesting Okay And least be able to make fun of it better

Yeah It's really a knotting Okay It's just Like someone Digitly removed All like the funny Interesting concepts

And just left the bare bones So you find like Nothing redeemable about it at all. It's like, you know where a psychopath could watch a baby drowned? Sure.

And they'd feel nothing, okay? That's how I felt watching it. Like, my heart rate stayed still the entire time watching this. Well, see, I'm not sure I could say, agree with you there because then you'd come out with this like, like so angry.

They hit me then after, okay, okay. It built up. The more I told about because I tried to block it out. Right, okay. Like a bad incident with relative, you know?

I try to block it out, okay. But then I just kept coming back. I'd be in bed like, no, punch and dry wall. So let's go to the plot. Okay.

Okay, well, so you said all, you were like, I fucking hated it, it was awful, a piece of shit, whatever. Then I sat down to watch it, and I guess because you had already lowered the bar so much, I poisoned you.

A little bit, but you know what? Here's another thing. Am I so bitter and twisted and hate filled that knowing how much it upset you and made you feel ill subconsciously did I make myself like it just because I know you hated it

Yes, yes To be honest, I think that's probably what it was That's where the sinisterness comes out of you Yeah, yeah, yeah And I'll just come along I thought it was delightful And I was delightful and stroke like No, you fucking

Well what would you like about it? What did you like? That'd be the easy thing Okay, so look, I said my bit I felt like it was lacking in jokes lacking quality felt rushed

underused cast they cut out Matthew Perry and need to say more no Matthew Perry no brine or too old you're yeah

I rest the burden of proof is on me then okay look I kind of people are like yeah so the

kind of immediate like reaction is like oh it's so smog blah blah blah Personally, I never felt like it was going for a sort of high art thing. I felt like they were the entire time being kind of broad and silly and just having fun with it. And then I guess towards the end it did get very sort of preachy and whiny and blah, blah. But like, people were like comparing it to like the big short and vice.

Whereas I don't think you could do that with this film because those two are based on like real events, like real shit. This is purely fictional. So this is more in line with like stepbrothers or the other guys. The other guys. Or Anchorman, then, like, you know, the two films he's done most recently. But not funny? I thought there were some funny stuff. I thought Jonah Hill was very funny in it.

I liked him. Yeah, I know. So it doesn't even count. Okay, fine. Yeah, you said that they improved a lot on set. They did, yeah. It's always a red flag when you're talking about how much fun they had improvving on set. Okay.

That's never good for the audience. Right. It's like, oh, I'm glad you had fun. Well, yeah. I mean, to be honest, the only obvious improvised bits to me, word the bits with Jonah Hill and they all pretty much worked I thought Jonah was really good

and I thought he was funny You Jonah wrote for Ali G Yeah him and Seth Rogan That's crazy Yeah Ali G in the USA I like those guys

Same with Bill Hayder It's almost like Say they're like Immediately going to like The big jobs Like no I need to like Earn some stripes here I need to like

Well I think yeah Seth got hired And I think Seth got Jonah in As a writer Yeah Yeah that was his first credit As a writer anyway Jonah.

That's thing. You're not just going like, we'll just do like acting shit and who gives a fuck like no we need to like Yeah

going to the writing side as well like we need to like work on every side of our game What network actually had the Alley G in the USA? It would think it was FX. FX okay I know as well

They used to like Any old dog can get a writing gig on FX Look at those cunts And it's always sunny Oh look we're in Ireland For four episodes Isn't that good? Not really

Yeah well That's it then We'll drink your Slop. Yeah, yeah. That new season wasn't good. Have you watched much of it? I watched two episodes.

Yeah, I watched it. I watched it all. I mean, come on. They're best workers behind them and that's been the case for a while. I bet if I told in, like, the show, you'd be like, it's actually great. Well, you didn't even say you didn't like it. You're right, you're right. I felt like it's very underwritten.

Yes. It feels like they're just like not even trying anymore. Like the lethal weapon episode? Yeah, yeah. Just ran me near the end of like, oh, and also Dennis went like, a date with a young one. It's just like getting really connected to. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I think they've kind of given up. Also, they have a podcast now. Have you listened to much of that? No, why would I? Yeah, yeah. Don't. Don't.

They don't come off very light. Especially Glenn Harton comes off like, I think the character of Dennis is more in keeping with his real personality than you might think. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. He seems to get very annoyed about. like very trivial things but anyway look that whatever about that so don't look up yeah so i watched

it i thought you know i didn't like in any way i think it was amazing or revolutionary it was very sort of broad stroke heavy-handed there was nothing subtle about it certainly but i think that was intentional they know that that's what they're going for because like even the premise okay asteroid heading towards earth well we've seen that in armageddon and deep impact and loads of disaster movies so wasn't armageddon so much better no but okay i mean you can't say armageddon's a good film though can you i haven't watched it i need to watch that make some notes yeah yeah you do that yeah i won't i won't tackle that yeah get back to me yeah again like i'm not gonna yeah because i'm not in any way passionate like so we're meant to have this debate i thought it was

fine it was a bit over long a bit schmaltzy at times there were stuff in it that I liked. I like the fact, like, the spoilers ahead. DeCaprio's character, he kind of like gets swept up in the celebrity. I like that. Starts banging Kate Blanchett. That's something funny. And like, the fact that like, um, you know, so the message is, it's not so much the message, it's how the message is delivered. So between DeCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence, the odd, like, the people all love DeCaprio's character. It's like, hey, sexy scientist, but the Jennifer Lawrence character they basically call her a crazy bitch and a carron shrill and a media so that was a good like the message is kind of second to the person that's delivering it and you have to present it like

it's all very much like you have to be like a media training you have to be savvy you have to have a personality like so that was all kind of i thought that was you know satirical and like you know it's a good first attempt yeah okay so kind of like i liked the tyler perry kate blanchett every scene with them I thought was funny like you know well you didn't but whatever I like Jonah Hill

obviously the Merrill Street is Trump and then Jonah Hill is Ivanka but they've switched the genders but it's the same dynamic as like I'm only in here because my parent is the president and there's this weird oh I'd love to fuck my own mother well that's like Trump and

Ivana or Vanka or whatever so that's very obvious blah blah and obviously the sort of politicized you know social media don't look up ball, right, all that shit. Again, very broad strokes satirical stuff, not revolutionary or reinventing the wheel, but I thought it was fine. Yeah. And overall, yeah, I enjoyed it for the most part. I didn't have like a hatred for it that you did. See, my problem is I look at it and see possibilities. Okay. Sure. I see things that could have been. Okay, so what could have been?

You know what? You ever see like a, you know, like you see potential. Yeah. And I see the potential getting flushed down the toilet. Yeah, okay. Okay. All right. It's like, so spoilers alert again. Yeah, spoilers ahead.

There's so many chances to go for like a really funny big joke. Yeah. Are you going to quickly go through the plot? No, I don't care like, yeah. So like near the end, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all getting up on a spaceship to get the hell over. Yes.

And they give DeCaprio a chance to get honored. Yeah. And he decides no. Yeah. Does it run through by his family writing? he decides like nah I'm gonna die on earth yeah because there's only one seat

like so they're not gonna fucking he's not gonna leave his family like you know that's the whole thing that's the you know yeah that's not funny it was schmaltzy yeah it was schmaltzy but wouldn't it be so much funnier

at the end we're all sitting around he's like oh fuck this I actually just have to head out for it that would have been funny you're right yeah yeah maybe a little too dark though because you know was he has saying I wanted dark

yeah you're making a movie about the world blowing up because an asteroid. But that's almost, that's why they go kind of silly at times and schmaltzy at times because otherwise it could be very depressing. Well, it's a disagreement we have. I'm talking about me in Adam McKay now.

You're irrelevant. It's a disagreement about the intent. I agree that would have been a lot funnier if he goes, I just have to pop out for something, kids, I'll be back. If he says, oh, I'm just going for a pack of cigarettes and, you know, he gets on spaceship and leaves the planet.

No, he just gets hit by a car or something like that, because he's not going to reach the, he's not going to reach the fucking spaceship in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's even better, luck, you punched it up already. Man, there's so many opportunities, like, you give me 10 minutes in that room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And again, like the final,

the mid-credit scene where they're all naked and they get attacked by aliens. Yeah, I didn't like that. That was pointless. Yeah, because everyone knows when you get your cock out that makes the joke better. You know who's on first? Yeah. Wouldn't it be better if they were naked? Doesn't that, would that not distract you? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Also, Meryl Streep's body double, much better tits. It was clearly like a 33-year-old chick with big old juicy titties and a tight little ace. Whereas Meryl Streep's like a 70-year-old hag. Anyway. I didn't even, you know, I ruined my Christmas. Okay, yeah, see, you got, like, but I think your reaction to it is so, there's got to be more here. What, the more? You're not really giving us much

You're not really giving us much of an insight as to why you hated it You just kind of went It could have been more Well go deeper You could be more right down The reaction to the film It was more the reaction to the film

Okay The film itself is just lazy Kind of for the feeble-minded You know Yeah Sure But again I think that is intentional Because it's like

Kind of like make it A broad message That any old dipshit like me, some retard could like, you know the phrase a camel is a horse

designed by committee yeah that's what this movie is explain that now what basically like they've kind of like shaving off

all like the dark satirical funny elements to make this as it's probably as you're right probably intentional thing because Adam McKay

for like we need everyone in the world to watch this yeah yeah but we're going to try and save the world

yeah yeah so they've deliberately taking out what I like. Yes. Yeah, because And what Adam McKay probably would like. Yeah, but they're trying to, as you say, make it palatable because it is overall, it's a depressing

concept because, you know, we're getting more and more scientific evidence that climate change is fucking up the planet. If you believe that, shit. But you know what I mean? Like, so it is this sort of impending doom that nobody seems to be doing anything about. So yeah, he's trying to be broad and silly

so it's not too depressing. Adam McKay made this film five years ago, it'd be very different. Yes, true. It'd be very, very different. It's in the post-Trump era. Yeah. Yeah, most definitely like that has an effect and an impact. Yeah, 100%. And look,

of course, I am very aware and like, because it's not subtle, the sort of smugness of it and the air of superiority that they have and the sort of general contempt for middle America that sort of, you know, the Harvard educator and comedy writers became up with.

Look at those rednecks, those dumb rednecks that let themselves get hooked in opiates. What a bunch of dogs. They're probably racist, so we shouldn't help him. Look, again, I'm not, like, have you ever known me to, like, take the side of sort of, like, Harvard-educated, ultra-liberal cunts? No.

No, remember when we met Colin Jost? My God, what a bloodbath. Oh, yeah. Well, look, his cunt wife shouldn't have gotten away. That's all I have to say about. that. I'd punch those titties ten times in a row. You're saying, Scarlett loved it. She was getting, she was

creaming over you. And Michael Chee was creaming over me. Oh, you're going to learn a night, big daddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's don't look up. Let's move on then. I don't want to talk us anymore. Oh, come on, man, well, really? All right.

Fine. But again, I think it's, you know what, it's a dumb thing to even argue about because the thing is what you're saying is pretty dead on for the most part there is a missed

opportunity there's a lot more that could have been done I guess they're trying to tow the line between kind of serious message

and silly satire and they kind of fluff it they don't do particularly well on either side I personally

didn't hate it as much as you did but you know again that is just me being like oh Brian hated it so I'll say I like it

and then he'll love me yeah yeah the mind games worked that's a 19 well I'm oh you something has caught my eye

go on a little something Jewish has caught my eye okay as it tends to do yeah yeah my senses

my spider my Jewish senses okay I notice on the table there you have a certain book oh yes yes yes apropose of notting

yes my by Mr your hero my hero yeah for now and forever Mr. Woody Allen. I don't really care for his work,

but him as a person, he's a big Knicks fan. He's a big Nigel Nix fan. No, this is, yeah, Woody Allen's autobiography, Apropos of nothing. Now, what's that mean? I don't know.

Apar pose? Apropos, yeah. Some gay Jew Latin word. I bet that's a very funny pun that we don't get, because we're mouth breeders, you know. It goes over my head.

We're basically rednecks. My brother got me this for Christmas. And I got my brother nothing. I didn't get my family anything this Christmas because, you know, I'm broke, so what do you want? You're the gift. That's right. Yeah. My presence is the gift.

So he got me that because he knows how much I love Woody Allen's films. Have you read any other books by Woody Allen? No. I hear they're quite good. I think they're more just like essays. I mean, if it surprised you to learn, dear listeners, that Woody Allen is actually quite an intelligent. humorous writer I'm sorry that Woody Allen makes

great fucking movies or at least he did I'm very sorry that I like them but I do Annie Hall is one of my all-time favorite films fuck you we need to remake Annie Hall so we can watch you about worrying about problematic nature

yeah stick me in it I'd be a good was Diane Keaton yeah you're Diane Keaton I'm Diane Keaton yeah we have lobsters but you get angry and hit me Artie Lang is Archie Allen Was that his name?

No, what was his name? That's not... In the movie? Yeah, what's his... It was Archie, wasn't it? Was it something? I've only watched it like twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was afraid to watch any more in case I pick up, you know, it's like secondhand smoke. Yeah. No, I'm kind of confusing it now with... Because I kind of went into, like, every so often I'll go on a little Woody Allen kick and I'll watch like six films of his in a row. Do you ever have the thing where it's like,

I'm going to watch them all? No, no. Do you think how many of you watch? So I probably watched like seven. Yeah, I don't know. Like I definitely, maybe like 15, maybe. How about that? Really?

Well, do you actually want me to do? Name some. I can't take a... Okay, Annie Hall, Manhattan, take the money and wrong. Manhattan, I need to watch again. I remember... Made again, Sam. Oh, no, you wanted this.

So here we go. No, you went too fast. Sorry. Bananas was good. Your bananas was good, yeah. Sleeper, Zellig, everything you want to know about sex, but we're two or three.

I've never seen that That's fine It's kind of like It's a sketch movie Yeah it's kind of like The Kentucky Fried movie You know I've never seen that either

Yeah I've never seen it either I only know the one clip Where the girl's getting fucked She pushes her glass Or tits up against the glass She puts her glass against the tits Yeah Yeah

Yeah Very sec Tits pressed against glass Is always a good luck I don't care who you are Sometimes like If I'm fucking the girl Against the shower

Okay She's got her tits against the glass I'm like I actually I'm missing out here Yeah I want to be outside looking at them. That's why I kind of like to want to be a cock someday. No, well, you know what?

If you're hanging out with a cool girl, well, she's having a shower. She'll be very nice and press her tits up against a glass for you. And you know what? You didn't even have to ask her. She just did it for you. That's when you know you found the one. You found the one. There's only one one.

It's all a goof, isn't it? There's not two ones. so I saw Annie Hall when I was like 15 and I fucking changed my life I loved it and he's just very funny he's a funny

fucking writer and actor what do you want for me yes maybe he's a pedo maybe molested his own daughter who knows now you know yourself that's wrong okay what's wrong about adopted daughter

didn't molester was a very respectful gentleman yeah yeah but anyway you've put me on blast have you started reading it yet haven't started reading yet. I'm going on. I mean, very interested. I'd read it after you.

Okay. I have a book about Tottenham. We can swap. Nah, I'm good. Potchitino Spurs. I'm going to read it in work. I like to read and work, you know. I've got really big into Spurs. Yeah. Even more than usual, like, because Spurs are doing well at the moment. Okay. I think it's quite good that, like, I let the team decide my mental health. I think that's, that's good. I think how a team does in a country I don't even like.

Yeah. Having such control over my brain is only a good. thing. That's very similar to your job and that the energy market dictates the prices your customers will have to pay and therefore has an impact on their mental health as well. We are ruining people's mental health.

I guarantee I am responsible for so many suicides. I am ruining people's lives. And they keep saying like, oh Brian, just tell them like the prices will go down in February March. So I've been telling them that for months. Like, you know, like

a man's calling up, I can't fucking do anymore. fucking shit the company's going on to and my wife don't know and she keeps buying expensive shoes fur coats and she's a peg leg she throws every other shoe out

she only needs bloody one the daff bird so like and I'm just like don't don't worry okay listen you're looking at this from the micro perspective you look this from the macro perspective okay in the long run you are making a saving

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow But I'm telling you In 10 years time I'm putting my name one day I put my I swear I swear okay On my mother's name Okay

Yeah On the life of my unborn children The prices will go down In February March Okay They're not though They're not No

No no The boss is called us up Right before Christmas It's like Lads Oh ho Remember I said February March Push that back

A bit push that back Now it's still February March But it's 2026 So you know you might have to finagle them a little bit you know it's funny about your job is kind of like you know like your first suicide will kind of

it'll fuck you up it's like the mafia you know your first hit is like I'm dreaming about this guy's like that happens at the start but the more you do the better you'll sleep so the more of your customers kill themselves because of your

felonious behaviour you'll eventually become numb to it and you won't care at all you actually get a bonus you know what if like five of them kill themselves to bring into a room and they have like a candle and they drip ink on you there's like a bird in the window

then you can't be touched yeah yeah you're a friend of ours yeah yeah it's uh it's depressing I don't know how much longer I can do this I've really stopped being social I try to make an effort at the start to try to be like hey man what's up yeah I'm the newbie here but now it's going to work and I stay quiet

I'm really annoyed that I can't remember Woody Allen's character's name and Annie Hall because I know his friend keeps calling them max but his name's not max he just calls him that i could easily look it up yeah it's it's not archie allen is it oh fuck no archie bunker no he played archie allen and something else i know archie allen is the name of fucking chris rock's character in top five which he named after wady allen this is all information that is never going to help you no no what the fuck is his name fuck i'm such an idiot no i'm gonna blank and like you know one just one of those things

you mind blank and then your brain won't let you remember it. And it comes the most important thing in the world. Yeah. Are you ready? Are you ready? Okay. It's, oh, God. It is Alvin Singer.

Alvin Singer. That's what it is. Okay, yeah, yeah. Alvin, Alfie. Yeah. Yeah, I think, no, yeah. Chris Rock's character in that movie, he named after Woody Allen because he loves Woody Allen. Blah Blah.

I just went retarded there. I'm a freak. Look, Jeff Goldblummed in the film? yeah he's kind of like one of the douchebags in the la party paul simon is in it as well paul simon seems to always hang out with those guys he's real good friends with like uh the s andl gang yeah like he's always hanging around s and loren mike him and lorne michael's i think are like really good friends it's weird i think like some people like if they're like at a certain level just like hang around the set

just getting in the way all the time you're like hey look i'm paul simon and you know you know pete davin's like get the fuck out of here like who's just fucking old fucking retort get the fuck out of here. I got bipolar depression faggot. Oh. Who's the new boy, Lord? He's certainly got a lot of spunk. He's a handful.

He's a spicy little fella, isn't he? Sigourney Weaver made her film debut debut. Oh. Like what? She's in the closing sequence as Alvin's date at the movie theater. Oh, okay. You can rewatch the whole film now. Shelly Duval's

in it as well. Truman Capote. Shelly Duval. plays a pure retard in it. What's she doing it again? They like go on a date to a rock concert. And she's like, this evening is transplendent. And the whole time, like, Woody Allen's

like rolling his eyes like, this girl's a fucking idiot. But of course he's still fucked her. Mad respect. Yeah. Mad respect to the wood dog. Man, I so fucking, if I go back in time and do anything. Yeah. I wouldn't stop Hitler. No.

I can't think of any other examples but I would love to go back and just tell Woody like don't do this don't go after Sunyi because you're going to make me look bad yeah yeah talk about how much like Woody Allen in the future that's the only reason at least do it in secret and kill her afterwards

but don't go public with it like a gentleman like a fucking pro yeah to be honest I think you know he had done that so many times like the going public with it is the only thing it could make it work for him, you know? I won't get hard unless we go public. I'm sorry. This is how it works for me.

A serial killer after a while almost like wants to get caught. He's just bored of it now. Think how many little Chinese girls, Woody Allen, fucked. He's like, there's no magic in this anymore. That's what I do every night. You know why people count sheep to fall asleep?

That's what I count little Chinese girls of Woody fucked. Yeah. I bet Woody Allen loves BTS. He's like, God, they look like Sunni. back in the day before she let herself go we were watching

a BTS imagine picture this lads me you and two other lads downstairs

watching BTS eating burgers drinking beer and there's just little Korean twinks prancing on the

screen yeah yeah and we watched them on uh Jimmy Fallon show yeah

the audience were middle age ugly women and they were wild in our they are pedophiles

those women they are They're like, look at those tiny little boys, I want to rape them. That's what they're thinking. Anyone that is ever willingly sat in the audience of a late night show is a paedophile. That's just a fact. Yes. You know, prove me wrong.

Prove me wrong. The burden of proof is on you, sir. Yeah. They weren't really great on Fallon Ward. No, they didn't exactly pop. They just kind of sat there. They were no North McDonald's, you know. Looking like porcelain dolls.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't, some of them can speak English better than the others, but like, I mean, but they've all been like cosmetically enhanced via surgery, makeup, costume, whatever, that it's not even racist to say they all look alike. They're all Botox, freaks, like they all look like porcelain dolls. Like, there's no, like there's no human features to any of them. Take that out of context. There's no soul. except from the one that's from Seoul hey come on

that's good joke dear even they'd like that if they could understand if they can Google it fast enough there's a you in it by the way

idiot well I suppose there's a you and the actual soul I should have said I said E I said E fuck they're right

I'm a fat racist retard I should fucking kill of myself fuck You know it's sad as well because they're going to just get bigger and bigger They're not in the overnight sensation

This is the future BTS BTS So when we're in our 40s It's going to be so sad We're going to like Try and look like them I want to look like the BTS

fellas Now Jim You are aware that you're 73 Ah yeah But you know I have a few pound in the bank You know I can make it happen

What are you contouring is it The contouring Yeah I watch the contra points You know Oh, Jesus, she's a tasty board She's a what Fuck it

Any contra points fans out there I doubt it People love contra points Yeah, I don't think people Who listen to this show like her They do not No, no Yeah

ContraPoint, she's an interesting cat Yes Because every now Like a pedophile, yes You're right Oh she's not She's not accused No, what are you talking about?

Contrapoints No She's not a pito? No No. Okay. Let me give you a bit Andrew Shultz-y right now.

Yeah, go on. You're in flagrant. Am I being flagrant? Yeah, yeah. Possibly. This is flagrant tree. What up, dog? It's your boy.

It's Cadden in the motherfucking his age. We're popping off. I'm with my main man. B. Tula. Give me the two. We're in the two shed right now. Where are we at? Where are we in the two shed right now?

My name's Fabu B. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. Yeah. This is a very wild This was meant to be about don't lock up Yeah

Well I knew that wouldn't work Okay Because you knew you were wrong Yeah You started making points I was like Anyway Tottenham

One thing Just to bring it back To don't lock up quickly What's interesting What we didn't say Is like How incredibly divisive

It was Not just on this podcast But You know In the whole Critical world Like a lot of the Critics

Kind of they took The knives out It's got like 54% on Rotten Tomatoes. And the IMDB, like the movie only dropped on December 24th. By December 27th, there was already over a thousand user reviews. So people are just like going off arguing one side of the other. So people have really kind of, it's not just you or me that reacted. Everybody kind of flipped their lead over it.

We all got, you know, it's all hustle and flow, you know. We all got caught up in the storm. And we're all Anthony Anderson, just raping a bitch in a trailer. What? That happened on the set of Hustle and Flo. Wow. Yeah. Well, Hustle and Flo, what's that about?

Pymn's the one with, like, Terrence Howard. Yeah, he's a Pimp in Memphis, and then he tries to make it as a rapper, and it's a good movie. I just mean, I just guessed. Pimp. What's about black pimps who don't respect authority? But, yeah, what else are we going to talk about?

Yo, what's, let's try and keep it cool here. Let's try and, um, Christmas. Christmas. How's your Christmas? Fine. Come on. Like, what are we going to get out of that? I sat around and watched films.

Why you watch? I was in a real mood on Christmas Day, but like, I'm not going to watch films wasting Christmas. I just sat there, like, not doing anything. You're wasting your life on your phone, your films, stuff like that. You don't catch me doing that. Reading a book, it's wasting your life.

Just be present in the moment, like the Buddha said, you know. It's a Christmas Buddha. Yeah, I didn't like Christmas I kind of caught I caught some melancholy Oh, did you? On Christmas Day, yeah A lot of people won't respond to my text

You didn't text me You had Christmas Day No, no, I was like, you were probably busy Okay I was texting people with vaginas, I'll be honest Oh, ladies Yeah, yeah And then were responding to my text

I thought you were just like texting other comedians Like, don't tell James we're friends Yeah, yeah I'm texting all my good friends Yeah James The end. You're hitting up some honeies.

I was hitting some honeies, yeah. I was trying to make up some, you know, I'm feeling depressed. On Christmas Day. Yeah, yeah. You're trying to get a Christmas Day booty call. Yeah, yeah. Were these Carlo girls or... All over the place, yeah.

Were you willing to travel, are you? Newcastle. I like, you know, 8 o'clock in the morning Christmas Day. I'm horny. I'm horny and sad. Let me smudge. Fix it or else. sneeze.

It's going to be a white Christmas love, yeah. Open up my box. What? Yeah, Santa's sack is a bacon

full. Stick up my mistletoe. Yeah, Christmas isn't awful. It gets worse and worse every year, doesn't it?

It's awful. I'm hoping it comes back around though when I have some kids. That, I mean, yeah. That's the reason why people have kids is like, oh God, maybe things will get better.

Just to enjoy. Christmas Yeah Yeah Back in the day Man Christmas was It was amazing

Yeah Of course And like you always Have the Doctor New Christmas special Beyond you know Yeah No I didn't watch that

But yeah I understand What was your kind of tradition My tradition was Get up Open the presents Yeah

Real early Play with the presents Yeah They would go by Real fast Yeah Christmas dinner Was always

A bit of a slog Because like You have to like You can't See You'd watch Television No you have to

Sit with The family And age But we always Have TV In the background Yeah

Yeah playing like Muppets Christmas Carol No For some reason It's almost like my dad deliberately picks up The most non-Christmassy thing possible Right okay

So like last year It was a documentary about trains Maybe he knew Oh yeah And maybe that was his Christmas present to you I was after he got the vaccines And then This year it was like Vira or something like that

It was some ITV detective show Okay Or some streetwalker was found down the canal Yeah yeah A bloody dark, that was coming to her And that's the end of it Yeah Should we investigate?

Nah Let's just call up the family and laugh She were Romanian a summit So, you know It's probably bad to the culture, isn't it? Use him up and ditch him in the canal Like an old pack of crisps, eh? So what was your tradition then?

Let's go through today, okay? Morning, cock crows little James what next well as a child you mean well like you're similar to that you get up really early and you go play with the presents and then you know you play with the

presence and then you have to go to mass and then come home from mass yeah it's been so long with COVID I forgot about the map play with the presents until dinner then you have dinner and then we go up to our granny's house and all of our cousins are there and we're all like running around playing while our parents

all get drunk and then my dad gets really drunk and says something horrible to my mother and then she's driving home while he's drunk berating her as she cries and i'm in the backs he's like can't wait to get home to my action man yeah yeah one morning actually like because you know the whole thing is because like i had siblings so there's like there was like four five of us or whatever so we'd all like get up in the morning like real early but my dad and his mates were still in the sitting room because they like came back from the pub the night before and they're still up drinking potching yeah

And we're like, we want to play with depression. And my mother is like, go back to bed. Go back to bed. Like, because you can just hear, you can smell the booze and the cigarette smoke and hear the kind of low rummins are, you're fucking cunt that fucking how are I. My dad, when he drank, he got very, very mean-spirited. And he was already pretty mean-spirited. Didn't need the booze.

Did the Christmas cheer or not work? It took it to strange new places. Now, in fairness, that only happened one year. Okay. The him and his bed's been... Yeah. No, no, no, the putt gene was every year. Okay.

But, like, it never impacted the Christmas presents morning thing. You know, he'd usually just be drunk in bed. No, I'm painting him as a booze hand. He was a farmer, so, like, he was a functioning alcohol. I was saying, like, people, like, in New York would be like, oh, my God, that's such a problem. No. It was like, no, this is life. No.

And he got up and he went and milked the cows. was all by himself hung over the bits because his little fairy sons were prancing around with their action men. Do not dolls. I've got an action man. I'm taking his shirt off.

He's got a six-pack in blue underpants. And my dad's just there. No wonder he's on the potching, you know? He's drinking poaching look over you. You're like licking action man. Licking his taint.

Yeah. I hope they all taste this good. Oh, Jesus. Well, action man. I think I'll go for a drive. What was action man's... He's been drinking? Ah, yeah.

We saw the problem or two. What was action man's nemesis? Dr. X? Dr. X. Man, Dr. X was fucking badass. He was the shit. Remember the ads where you could vote to see if Action Man would save Dr. X?

No. Do you remember this? Oh, no. Oh, yeah. So there's an ad, okay, where Action Man's fighting Dr. X. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he, like, punches him,

and Dr. X falls up, but he's hanging on to, like, a railing? Oh, so you're like, will he save him or let him die. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it's like, will, well,

action, what's his name? His name is just action man. Oh, yeah, pretty dumb, generic, like action man.

Yeah, will action man save him? Dr. X. Or let him die. Yeah. Call in. That's pretty dark.

Yeah, and you want the children voted? Let him die. Let him die. Yeah, capital punishment. Yeah,

there was this one really cool, Dr. X, where you pulled a little lever and his entire chest would open up. And, like, his ribs were all green from, like, radioactive poison and whatnot. Oh, man, I'm knocking this up now. Pretty sweet.

It's burnt into my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to love all the shit, action man. Wrestling toys, teenage uting Ninja Turtles, Batman, shit, you know? It was great. Christmas and the... But you know what the thing is, you go back and watch those ads, like, the toy ads, and they were so cool. Yeah.

And then you'd get the toys and play with us, like, why is it not as good as the ads? Like, because we didn't have post-production or editing. or camera shots that we could utilize or like really cool music or friends to hang out with. All those elements that were in the advertisement that made the toy look so fun were missing from our own life.

We didn't have voice actors. Yeah, exactly. Look at Dr. X there. Yeah, no, hey, I remember what he looks like. Holy fun. I forgot in there. It was awesome. This guy. Yeah.

He was a punk rock dude. Well, where's Action Man? Action Man needs to make a comeback. Everything else is coming back. It all, the PlayStation got rid of action man well I bet

now we'd be something different wouldn't it walk you fill in the blank yourself you know it'd probably

be black blackian man oh shit it's Dr X what up motherfucker I'm a pop one in your eyes

yeah you got it yeah there you go saved it for you action man was basically wasn't he just

like a repackaged Ken yeah basically like Ken with like a James Bond like he's a super spy soldier

it's like what's his actual job description what intelligence agency does he work for is he massad, MI5 CIA look at action man now oh my god what is that this is a man a twink in a wheelchair action man

he's gonna make it all the way up the stairs by himself he's going to write in Edinburgh show Action man's nemesis Doctor X won't let him use the lift to the second floor Oh my God Yeah Yeah

Ah well Oh he was kind of like I think he was like Yeah he's a British thing Yeah They don't have an America Yeah He's our G.I. Joe

Yeah pretty much Yeah he's like the British G.I. Joe I know I bet And this is me purely speculating I bet because You know G.I. Joe was so like American

The troops Yeah I'd say they're probably like Oh will this sell well in England you know, because it's like a different, it's not as militaristic or like... Yeah, I guess they could go with kind of the James Bond angle there, but over here

is like, oh, this is a British toy who like is a government, you know, soldier. The Irish people probably don't like us. You know what? That probably broke my father's heart. To see me playing with a fucking Protestant Brit with a six pack and I'm

just saying, action mate, awesome! Dr. X is Jerry Adams. Bobby Sance Sinister Doctor X What's a sandwich But action man It's too much of a hero To let that happen

Yeah Yeah Yeah man Actually think about You're just like playing with these little toys Yeah Yeah we gotta destroy the Irish Yeah yeah

We're over an hour now So Let's go a bit longer actually Let's go okay Yeah fuck it Yeah We'll go longer Because I'm enjoying this now

Yeah Like America When you're in America there's such like a real like focus on like military yeah like there's so much like you kind of forget other countries have troops you know England's troops you never see like you know this one's for troops

yeah I think you know sort of Afghanistan and Iraq changed that to an extent you see ads in England for like joining the army SAS and all yeah yeah yeah it's all it's during super army soldiers yeah during the foot eat they're like you know yeah but it's all the time you're trying tricky you were like

The life leave you for a packy Join the S-A-S. You can shoot them And go take out on his family. But a lot of them is like, Do you want to learn how to do code? Yeah, okay. Do you want to learn how to cook

And do taxes And do push-ups? Like, yeah, okay. It's like, guess what you learn all that? In the army? Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit, yeah. We'll teach her right after you come back

from Afghanistan. Good luck. But they don't see ads about like, like in America they'll just have ads for targeted for soldiers yeah because soldiers like the only group in America that have like income

what do you mean like a lot of them will come back and they'll have like you know some kind of some money yeah from war okay they blow it all on party bills calculators and sweets

and then you have depression oh give it over soldier yeah Nancy boy yeah god action man was so cool it was great yeah i never actually had an action man no no i just watched the ads and i was like that's awesome someday when i'm a big man so what kind of toys did you get at christmas then

transformers okay that's pretty good transformers were like my shit yeah yeah i remember one christmas i i asked for uh was it hot rod okay i forget which one it was some transformer really wanted was this now this before the michael bay movies was it before okay Some of the cartoons You're OG Even when Michael Bays movies came out

I was like Really? Hmm Bernie Mac That's not Optimus Prime Even Stevens Hmm

I bet he He's gonna Someday Attack F A K Twigs Yeah I just knew back then He shoots dogs I can tell

But like I love the cartoons Yeah Okay Love Transformers cartoons All of them I was never into them

But I tell you What I did have genuinely I had a VHS of GoBots Wow Yeah that pretty It's like an old video shop Was going out of business

And my auntie just brought around All these weird old VHSs There was like go bots And then there was like this weird Russian cartoon Like from like the 60s or something That was really weird It was called like the Cossacks or something

Worker and Paris It was silent like there was You know there was no dialogue It was just like music and weird scrainy cartoon images but anyway sorry Monaghan's like a real like

limbo for like culture where it's like yeah we got like a Go-Bots and Russian cartoons from the 60s let Cadden have it yeah that's just a little inside

into me you know but I think it was hot rod it's some transformer and I asked for it for Christmas and I was in the rapping right okay and it was under the tree and I knew it was that okay

I was so excited I was like it that's it okay I literally like can I sleep with that what do you mean

oh with the with the present I won't open it but can I just sleep with it because I want to be close to it all right

so I was younger that's pretty no it's not let's start rub my dick on it there hot rod there's some fucking queer thing with you

Brian sending your dick picks to hot rod we got we did a merger of Optimus Brian go Joe I fucking win

Fuck off He turns to a helicopter Yeah But yeah I just held it All right Wait So your parents

Let you sleep with it I didn't I was like Can I It was like one present There's other presents there And it was like See Hot Rod isn't a big

Transformer Okay He's like a small one But he was a cool one He was red Right That's all I need really Was he your favorite

Um Interestingly you know what my favorite was star screen don't even know what that is he was now be a psychiatrist here for a minute star I think it's star scream or star screen okay I don't know okay he was Megatron's lackey

Was Megatron the bad guy? Yeah yeah so Megatron was like the Voldemort okay he was like the ultimate bad so it's a They were the Decepticons Yeah so Star Scream Star Scream yeah so Star Scream was like Lackey was like, oh yes, Megatron, yeah, I'll do that Megatron. Yeah.

But sometimes Star Scream would be a little bit like, I don't want to do that Megatron. You'll do as I tell you. Oh. Wait, so he was the little sniveling world? Yeah, he was the Randall from like, re-sex. Oh, my God, you wanted that. I was like, that's awesome. Wow.

That is insane. Oh, the big powerful one makes him do things. That's so weird, man. Why would you want that as a kid? I don't know. It's just like he's funny, yeah. Okay, maybe because he was, was he funny though? Did he have funny lines?

He was funny. Sometimes he tried and betray Megatron and Megatron be like, you fool and they slap him around. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, darling. Speaking of, no, I was never into Transformers, but, you know, the Decepticons. Yeah. I always had this idea when, you know, back when I was like in Monaghan with my stoner friends, I'd be like,

hey man, what about this? What if there was like a bong that you could also, like, turn into a Transformers robot and call it a Deceptibong That's awesome Yeah so it's like just in your room It's just like a little toy robot Seemingly but then you take it off the shelf

You move some parts around And it's a functioning bong And you call it a deceptive bong If the Dean's gonna walk in Exactly yeah You're like oh and then you put it there It's like hey it's just a transformer No it's a microscope

I was just doing some science homework Wink But that was going to be my middle billion dollar idea that was going to get us all out of the projects yeah all my mates were like yo man you got a dream you got the you get the skills you got the knowledge you can take us all out of here baby you're bee rabbit yeah yeah yeah but uh no didn't uh i went on dragons dead and they just raped me that'd be quite funny you go to a rap battle and you just hold a bomb like imagine if it's transformed you the king dog you the main this is a whole new

genre we've just taught of now other items So this is like our thing now So a dildo That could transform into something Okay So different adult items All right, yeah That can transform

So like dildo Dildo's a good one Yeah I've taught one Now your goal I Yeah Bong Dildo

Yeah mine also had like Decepta Bong I got word play there What is yours What do you call it Dildo Dildo Star Dill scream

Mega Dildo Optimist Dildo Dildomus Yeah There's something there I'm not No there's that Yeah

Yeah Hot rod Okay That there you go Hot rod There Yeah Now you go again

No Unless we're playing a game Now Well I The only way To win is not to play What's the thing Women put in their

Vigna's The vibrating Love egg No no It's like to stop You get pregnant It's like a little tiny thing

Oh like the dental dam Yeah Yeah That could be a little mini one Yeah You know it's thought to be funny now

You know, anal beads? Yes. Could you get, like, personal anal beads where, like, each bead is, like, a picture of a celebrity you like? Or maybe you get, like, your kids, you know, on your anal beads, you know? Here's me and the family.

It's six flags. Oh! Yeah. I know a lot of porn stars, they do molds of their vaginas. Yes. And you can buy, like, Rachel Riley.

Riley Reed. Riley Reed's vagina. And they can put it in, like, I'm basically. there's no difference between me fucking this bit of plastic and fucking a living human being. None. None whatsoever. Yeah.

It's weird. That's kind of getting into, that's the thing. Women's sex toys are like, oh-hoo, very cheeky and ooh, but men's sex toys are just gross and sad and depressing. The more realistic they are, the more serial killer like it is.

Like a fleshlight. Like I watched the video of a guy fucking a very realistic sex doll. Okay. so realistic that she got up and tried to run away but he beat her down it's okay it's a sex doll yeah well that's a genre of porn where a girl pretends to be a dull have you seen those videos

oh yeah yeah yeah I don't know what it's called but it's like a girl they'll get a live girl okay but they'll make her just like pretend to be a doll okay and not blink oh and like have them out open and go oh wow like she's dead okay then a guy fucks her

and she doesn't move at all doesn't even bat an eyelid within the narrative how has she been rendered so incapacitated oh I see heroin yeah

no I think she's meant to be a doll oh okay she's playing the role of a doll wow wow yeah no I don't know what that is that's weird yeah it's kind of getting very close to like I don't know

necrophilia I don't know rape something yeah yeah well whatever I've been watching plug talk plug Oh, that's the Adam 22.

Yeah. Adam 22 has launched a show called Plug Talk. Yeah. $5 for the first month. I mean, come on, guys. Yeah. I think it's then $30 after that per month. Jesus Christ. And you have to pay for additional content as well.

And you have to put down a deposit. That is... You have to send them a kidney. Yeah. Yeah. A loyalty oath and stuff like that. You've got to get sexed in the plug talk. But it's weird because...

So Adam 22. Yeah. My favorite Adam. Adam McKay is a dork Yeah Yeah wow Now if Adam 22 directed Don't lock up

Oh man That would be so much better Because you should be like Instead of an asteroid It's two big tits Are coming towards earth Don't look up skirts That's what it would be

You know But he's been recording this for a while I don't know what his business plan was Is it a podcast? It's a video podcast Okay Where he gets different porn star on Every episode

Interviews him with his wife And then they Who's Lana the plug Yeah And then they fuck him Oh Yeah yeah Like a threesome?

Treesome, yeah. Wow. Every episode. But the interesting thing is he started recording this when his wife was pregnant. Weird. So, but he doesn't release him in order. So, like, the first episode, she's, like, nine months pregnant. The second episode, she's not.

And then... And then the second episode is, like, now when she's giving birth to the baby. Okay. Next episode, she's, like, eight months pregnant. That's weird. Yeah, it's very weird that he's, like, you know... And they're having a trisome. Yeah.

And she's very... pregnant. That's so weird. Like her water could break and you wouldn't even tell because she's squirting all over the place

anyway. It's a very interesting show. To say the least. An hour long Yeah. What are they talk about? Just like you know

Yo, what up with Instagram? Yeah. Instagram crazy. It's not Michael Parker Get on the floor. It's not like Frost Nixon. It's not like too

groundbreaking. And then then they just And how long does the fucking go on for? If it's an hour long video it's like 40 minutes of talking 20 minutes fucking

actually no a lot of it's them just like okay get your tits out and do any big name porn stars on it uh um like like i'm not i'm not good with porn star names like Lisa ann probably not on it

no Lisa ann's like too big for Lisa anne's like old and she's like got more mainstream now she's on like ESPN yeah yeah that's true yeah it's always funny to see her like because I watch basketball and sometimes they'll like cut to her and like what you think

about, you know, the nuggets this season. She'd be like, oh. And she'll just say something generic, like, oh, I need to get better players. And they'd be like, oh, yes. I've seen you naked, yeah. Oh, yeah. They need to play better basketball. Yes, yes.

If we keep hair long enough, she might touch it. I've seen them shatter the backboard on you a few times. But Adam Twain, too, I didn't know what his story was. I thought he's just some wigger. Yeah. Turns out he's from a very affluent background. His dad was friends of Bill Clinton Oh wow

Yeah He's from like Is it Virginia Where's Bill Clinton from? Yeah Mina Arkansas Arkansas Yeah

He's from Arkansas I think his dad's like A property developer And his mother's like Right okay I don't know Something something else Big money then

Big money Yeah Yeah So this is so interesting She's kind of like a Chet Hanks I kind of like that But a successful Chet Hanks Yeah

So he went But he's So his life Okay Powerful parents Yeah Then I think he went to L.A. and became a BMX guy. Okay.

And he travelled the world doing BMX events. Okay. And he got really big into, like, drugs. Sure. And tattoos and that scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said he did, like, ecstasy nonstop for, like, three years. Wow.

And he got into a lot of fights. He broke a guy's jaw, you know. Yeah. He kind of earned a respect. Of the hood? Yes, exactly. Yeah. And then he started recording.

Music? No podcast Kind of like us Yeah So far It is Exact trajectory Where the exact same

My dad You know He didn't know Bill Clinton But like he knew Like a Your dad is a bit of a Proper Duty

Developer In Carlo Anyway My dad knows Some of the guards And you know My life My home life

Is probably Very similar To Lan of the plugs You know I don't really know Our story I think she's Armenian Oh okay

Oh well Wow Man Time to just Get off the internet Now Well I jerked off To an Armenian

I don't think I've ever jerked off to her though Have you seen much footage of her? I don't think so, no Let's look her up now You don't have to I trust you Leonard Okay so now

So now he's just like So he just He's interviewing loads of rappers Stuff like that Wasn't there Didn't somebody pull a gun on him at one point Yeah Yeah

He has to get security now He's got too big like Yeah But like Like no jumper is the network And it's like a huge It's huge like It's a bar stool

For them types Yeah for like rap kind of like is it sort of a thing like you can pay to have your song played on his show and then he'll go it's good or it's bad and that'll really that'll have an effect like I think it's so just so like that's the desire yeah but so many people do that now he'll do like um I'm not he'll do like a three hour video twice a week where he just watches videos people send them okay so that's like how music

videos like three minutes. Yeah, roughly. So three hours of three minute videos and he's like, yeah, this is dope. That's not really going to move the needle that much. I also think like, I think it's mostly guys

like me watching no jumper. Yeah. I doubt like anyone actually cool or in the scene is actually watching this shit. It's guys like... Like are the Pyru Bloods watching Adam 22? Our MS-13 going, like, just guys are awesome.

It's guy, it's made literally four guys like me who like sit at home and we play with Transformers and we're playing with Transformers and we're playing with Transformers. Yeah, Optimus Prime's gonna fuck Lana the plug, yeah. Did you ever make your toys fuck? No.

I used to have very complex storylines of my ties. Did you? Yeah. I'm sure you thought they were complex. Oh, very complex. Go on. Twits and turns.

Oh, the things I, oh, I know what I'd do a lot. Do you ever do this or am I weird? It's like I'd pause the storyline. Okay. And I'll leave to tell you exactly where they are. Yeah. Not to pick it up the next day then. If you had to go do something, like...

No, I've had to go to sleep or something like that, okay? So I'll leave Batman there. Batman's about to betray Optimus Prime, okay? And it's like, Batman, what are you doing? No, I think that's a pretty common thing. And I'd come back to them be like, don't worry, I was just fooling you to trick the Joker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I had done that, but like, you know, it wasn't a recurring thing. I wouldn't really have the attention span for that. It'd be like, ah, what was I doing? There's a big continuity With my action Yeah Fair enough, yeah Again, this is when I was younger

But again, it's different When you're an only child Like I grew up with siblings Like you know If you leave something out Chances are to get like Thrown or kicked or something I do remember sometimes like

Other kids that come over And they'd be playing my ties And they'd be like You know Spider-Man says this I'm like Spider-Man wouldn't say that Is that dialogue motivated Seems rather contrived to me Out of character for Peter

Parker, doesn't it? With Stan Lee think? I just happen to have Stan Lee right here. You know nothing of my work. How you've gotten this far as beyond me. I used to be very bad at like communicating. It's an Annie Hall reference. Look at Cad and bringing it up back. I'm easily back. No,

Stan Lee. Stan Lee. I used to be very bad like communicating what I wanted to communicate. Sure. I've gone a bit better now. Not that much. Okay. But I remember one time I was with a friend of mine and we were watching of Simpsons

and you remember the episode was like a later episode where Stan Lee is in the comic book store yeah vaguely it's a later

yeah it's a layer of it checked out but yeah we were watching we were young we didn't know any better

of it I wasn't like did Bill Oakley write this one but so Stan Lee shows up my friend doesn't know who that is

and I was like that's the god it's he like he like he did the spider he did the I got too excited yeah

Spider Man he was the Spider Man man he was he was your dad comes in puts a belt in your mind yeah yeah I wanted your friend think

he was like I need to hang out with cooler people yeah he was like can we put on rap and I was like no is Stan Lee gonna be in it yes actually he does make a cabbio in it

Stan Lee with attitude Stanley I think his brother's doing Marvel now oh yeah Marvel a lot of these creators they always get fucked over in the end And rightfully so The house always wins, baby

You don't fuck with the mouse You know what I'm saying Yeah, that's right Yeah They got China and you know China's fucking with Disney now So they're on stopping Tell you what

This is a teaser for next episode China have released a film It's like the biggest movie ever in China Okay It's about how China are great And how they defeated little Americans Yeah And people are saying it might be propaganda

Oh If you can believe it Well I'll have to I'll judge my Did Adam McKay direct this one too? Also lies, isn't it? Don't lock up. If they could.

Right have to cut that up. Yeah, so I'm going to watch this Chinese propaganda movie. Hey, what do you have for me, baby? Yeah. You're going to watch the Chinese propaganda movie. They got bad next. That's what you meant. It was?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Did I ruin it though? Yeah. Well. What's the plans for, we're going to wrap up in a minute now. What's the plan?

now for 2022. What's the big change you're going to make? Who says I'm going to make any? Who needs it? Yeah, yeah. What are you going to do? That's so great. Tell me, yeah, tell me.

Oh, you wouldn't even... Go on. Oh, just simple things. Give me one thing. Simple things. Like what? Simple things. Run a bit more.

Okay. Work on my relationships of people. I feel like I'll leave, let relationships die. If my relationships were plants, I just wouldn't water them at all. Yeah. Do you not think there's a reason why you let them die? though? I'm a narcissist I think I'm a very unpleasant

person and I want everyone to love me but I don't want to put any work in myself you just described 90% of the human race I think I'm very aware you're not as aware as you think you are I see what you're saying you're wrong Oh am I? Yeah I'm pretty

I'm actually the most aware man Nobody's more aware than me I don't make any changes but I'm aware of what my mistakes you know Too bad you're not aware that You're a big choir, eh? Wee-he. Look at that.

Yeah, I don't know. I might get back into meditation. Try, stop smoking weed. You were going to start cooking at one stage. Remember that? You're going to take a cooking class? Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will do that, yeah.

I mean... You got more free time now. Yeah, but I don't have any money. And these things cost money. YouTube. Yeah, that's true, I guess. But then you just get it. You get to buy eggs and shit.

Yeah, yeah. It does cost money. to cook properly. Also, like, you need a nice kitchen to do it. Yeah, which I don't have. You need, really, that's for the middle class people. You need space. You need to be able to move around. I need space. You need to buy lots of

supplies and laugh, like, oh, I've put too many eggs in. I'll have to start all over again. You and your attractive girlfriend are trying to get lobsters into the pot, but when, you know, in Glass and Evan, it's rats, trying to get rats into the pot. Yeah.

You're so strung out on gear. You can't even get up off the So if you're using the gas cooker to light your crack pipe, you know? Get the fucking thingy in that tang, do you doubt be cunt. Yeah. Yeah, it's a very middle class thing cooking, like, we're not going to do that. What is this, Annie Whitehall? Hey, whitehall's in area in Dublin.

Okay, right, I didn't get there. Oh, you did. You have to explain that. I was completely left out with the loop there. It wasn't very good, but, you know, I tried. Good. It's a kind of rough part of Dublin. Not too rough, but, you know,

Everywhere is kind of shitty in Dublin now What a resolution is going to make now Yeah, I think that's kind of the big one for me Meditate, write more Need to get back into writing I've really dropped the ball there Yeah, you feel much better I've been writing a good bit

Creatively You know what I do? I force myself to write Absolute shit Yes I've noticed that, yes Yes

Roasted Well that's on calls for it I open myself up there And you're like Sorry Yeah, you're right You're right. Sorry.

Just write, I'm gay over and over again. All work and no play make Brian a cunt. Anyway, so yeah. Yeah,

I just write absolute shit. Yeah. With no purpose. Yeah. And then after like two paragraphs then you like you strike something. You're like, oh,

that's actually something there, yeah. And I feel like my thoughts are very jumbled. Okay. Sometimes I need to write shit down just to know what I think. Sure.

I'm not like a Tim Dillon kind of guy I'm like, ladies gentlemen, this is why I think about this. Yeah, yeah, a lot of them's like,

uh, he is very good at that, I have to say. Yeah. And sort of just, uh, he can be like, in terms of just maintaining like coherence,

like obviously every so often he'll have a brain fart or he'll stumble. But like, I definitely couldn't do a one hour podcast where I'm just like constantly going stream a conscious without going, like, I think you and I both kind of stumble over our words quite a bit. Yeah. You know?

Well, I find I stumble less when I'm with people I don't know Yeah You get that Because you're Well see you're more like Aware or like on edge

You're less comfortable Yeah See with me you don't even try anymore Yeah You've let yourself go You're a pig now Yeah It's that stage relationship

You know when you first start seeing the girl She's like you know Oh hello And she's like you know Looking nice and that And then like you know Three date in she's like You know farting all over the place

she just had a miscarriage but she didn't wipe properly so it's everywhere you can't see anything or else it's a hate crime but no yeah I definitely need to obviously bad habits setting in restrictions definitely don't help

restrictions rob any kind of I keep getting on like a kind of good and it kind of just pulls the rug from honour you in terms of motivation you're just like what's the point of anything and I really, really, really need to stop doing that. I need to be more engaged with my thoughts more and realize you're just lying around doing nothing

being a lazy cont and that's just making you feel worse so just do something, anything, for God's sake. Less podcasts from me, that's a big thing. Okay. I listen to way too many podcasts. Okay. And you know, the worst thing is I keep getting into new things. Yeah?

So I keep getting into like basketball, NFL and Formula One and all this shit. So I listen to all these podcasts about it. Yeah, yeah. That's not healthy. No. I mean, you can just like the stuff without liking the podcasts, you know? Look at how many podcasts. Do you only like stuff for the podcast?

Yeah, just so I can get, just to get me through today. You watch 12 fucking, I don't know, UEFA matches from the 90s. I can't wait to listen to the podcast about this. Anything to get me through the day. So look all the shit I've got there. Yeah. Look, the Eamon Dunphy podcast. Wow.

The wrestling show. The Gah hour. Yeah. The fighting cock. The Gary Neville podcast. The far, the dog walk Spitting chicklets Wow, that is a lot

The Josh Whittickham show Oh, you scumbag My therapist raped me My therapist fucked me And my giant cavity Which by the way, we need to make some kind of We need to rescue McNally What do you mean?

Because McNally's always hanging out with that She's too far gone, man She's been infected by Vogue Yeah, yeah You're not done anymore We, let's play a podcast You're not even a has been You're a never-wise

Let's play it Will they pick it off If you put your microphone To it Yeah Well, what's to spend About 200 euro on her I'd never spend that honor

We had a great day I'm forced to spend that On my nephew I don't feed them 200 euro a gift Well Well, I mean Like

Yeah Because I miss all the Well, what's that Now we're over here Talking about action men Yeah You know Wish issues

And they're like Oh 100 this euro I have to buy I oppress. Turns out it's not even mine. It's a working class man. I had a cesarean when I was 12. First of many of course. And James, you know, I'm sorry.

I started a new SSRI and it's not helping as much as it should, but it is a little bit. I've noticed a slight lifted mode. Anyway, I downloaded business wars. What's that? It's all about business. how to win. Business is a war, okay?

You're in the trench, okay? Yeah. And I'm in the tank. Yeah, yeah. So you're Logan Roy and I'm Cousin Greg. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, business wars. It's all good. They pick a different topic every season. That sounds like to be pretty interesting, though.

Yeah. So look some of the things here. They kind of got a bit lazy now. Blackberry versus iPhone. Ah. Crypto wars. Me. Fast fashion.

Death Row versus bad boy Okay, that'll be fun Yeah But really, I mean, you've already I know too much about that anyway Some of them you're kind of like, I don't mind Like, Baccarady versus Permanond Richard I don't know what that is

I don't know what that is either, yeah Anyway, now you're just reading out podcasts On your own podcast Is this what it's come to? I've also downloaded a lot of farming podcast Because I want to get into farming Yes, stop, put the phone away Let's wrap it up now

Oh no Yeah I don't want to go home You don't have to go home If you don't want to There's a lot of cans Downstairs Yeah, do you want some cans

Maybe I'll drink some cans And like Hit someone Yeah, do it Yeah That'll be good for you Maybe I'll call up Some old flames

And telling what I really think I fucking love you Don't please It'll be different This time I promise I've learned how to have sex better God

Some girls Especially in Doc I'm like I gave you some awful sex Yeah I really like Yeah What do you hear

their podcast oh you do not come off good in it my friend oh no and they have an endless supply of guests yeah yeah god the amount of girls in the dock they're like how long do it last you know uh yeah i remember one girl like i just like i remember just like really badly pumping her yeah and just like almost like come on we both know this is terrible right did you even come no oh she didn't Oh, well, I didn't even need to ask Yeah Yeah, no, I can't imagine

Like, if you don't come, you know There's not a fucking chance in hell she is I'd read her principle We'd rather girl be like, this is shit, stop Yeah But I hate when the girl's like It's, it's all right, yeah Yeah, I can do

Oh yeah, it's huge Oh, it's so big Oh, my back walls and all that Yeah, yeah Oh, I'm falling asleep Because it's so good, you know I was roofied, I swear Oh, I'm so dizzy

I just need to Oh That champagne's gone right to my head You were driving tonight though Oh was I Anyway Yeah Yeah I keep dragging on the podcast

Yeah Yeah You want to end it I want to end as well Yeah I mean I just Yeah We've gone an hour and a half

Yeah It was a while So I'm just shooting all out Yeah A lot backed up You got anything else? Nope.