Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 142 : Godfather 3 But With More Incest

Episode Date: January 9, 2022

Dead Popes and lots of jokes we had to cut out cause they were too racist.

I looked up the original idea for the Godfather Part 3 Okay The Godfather Part 3 is shit Yes Yes it is But the original idea Seems very interesting

So it would have been So Mario Puzo Yeah Is the writer of the godfather Yeah he wrote the book He wrote I think like four books Then like some other guy Puzo died

Okay And then like some other guy Took it over And then wrote like three more I think got very silly Yeah yeah I think it's like you know it goes beyond

the realms of realism where like oh the gang gets another wacky adventure and you know Michael's hanging on to like a helicopter

you know Michael's hanging on to the wing of a plane and he's firing some Russians and it's like we must destroy Italian man

yeah yeah it becomes his catchphrase he's solving crimes and shit but yeah the original idea

for Godfather Tree would have been Michael's son is working in the FBI Okay Okay The son that's like in the theatre Yeah Anthony yeah yeah So instead of being like a gay opera singer

Yes Okay Which that's cinematic isn't it Oh so annoying that whole opera sequence Yeah we'll get that a minute So Anthony's son is working like The FBI or the CIA Something like that okay

Yeah And Michael's using him as a mole Like to depart it's parted Okay yeah Yeah yeah that's good And they're using the connections with his son to deal with some South American

dictator who's like moving large quantities of coke okay all right so they're trying to like get one over on the dictator and use a coup so the CIA are going to stage a coup in the country

and Michael's going to use that to his advantage and then probably some wacky shit happens and then like uh I mean that's all sounds good like on paper a bit born identity though isn't it it's also a bit kind of implausible in that like

you know the CIA employ the son of like the head of La Cosa Nostrad, do you know what I mean? And they don't know anything. Yeah. Because when you're applied, you're like it's your dad in the mafia. Maybe. No, I'm Michael Borleone

Jr. Not Corleone. Oh, that checks, huh? Yeah. That's all I could do with that, folks. Borleone. That's where I'm at today. That's the level of brain power I could muster. more pay for the Patreon my synapses are really firing yeah my synapses are like an 80 year old spastic colon just

anyway borely only here we go yeah so let's jump in the godfather tree yeah the reason it exists okay yeah so uh coppola is famously terrible with money yeah kind of that whole family are because nicholas cage is the same yeah yeah they're all bank They're just I won't say the term but they're bad with money okay

Guinea rich Yeah Coppola rich is the term okay I like Nicholas Cage he was buying

like dinosaur skulls and then just smashed them and then like You know how like wops are called without paper because they're bad with money

they can't hold on to that paper yo So Copla the worst thing that happened to him is like he took a big risk with Poclips now and it worked.

Yeah. He was like, I guess I can just take big risks all the time. Yeah. And then he had like a series of failures. Failures he'd never heard about.

Like Jack. Well, Jack came after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dr. T and the women? Funny, Jack was like, okay, they don't like Godfather Tree. I'll redeem myself.

He has defended Jack. He's like, I'm proud of that fellow. I've never fully watched that. No, neither have I. Isn't it like Bill Cosby's a, no. I think Bill Cosby is in it?

Yeah, yeah. Bill Cosby's a doctor and he helps a fully grown man who thinks he's a child. No, he is a child, but like he has... Oh, is he, though, is it like, oh, my pronouns. No, he's got, like, some disease where he ages, like, four times faster than the normal. So he's like, he's a, like, 10-year-old boy, but it's, like, 43-year-old Robin Williams.

Like, ho-ho, hey there, boys, ho. I want to be the anti-war comic now. He's like, well, I identify as a Robin Williams. yeah controversial now I don't the fire as an attack helicopter

I sent you because we were talking about the last episode doing like an anti-walk show on the BBC I was sending you some of the comedians yeah

absolute dog shit like I'm actually genuinely think that the BBC are like they're doing this just to like be able to ridicule

the right even more like let's cast a bunch of fucking retards who are terrible comedians to be like Oh, I'm a PC coach A lot of them do not even doing it's like Oh, I'll probably get cancelled for this

Who is that stupid Irish caught Mary Doyle or something? Yeah, yeah Oh my God Just like, but a lot of them, they don't even do anything He's like, I'll probably get cancelled for this Yeah Oh, I'll get cancelled for this Like you haven't done anything

You stupid bitch Just go back to the Delhi of the Asda Love That's where you belong Save your jokes for the potato wedges You can't It's quite funny, though, and it's a good feeling to, like, see alt-right comedians and be like, they're shit as well. Yeah, they're just as embarrassing and lamb. Yeah, because you see, like, liberal comedians, and they're really shit.

And you're like, oh, I guess I'm a Nazi, because I don't like you. I don't like you. Yeah, yeah. Because you're cringe and embarrassing. I guess I have to join the Reich now, okay? But it's like, no, it's like, they're just all shit. Yeah, any one, if you ever go to any stream, it's always shy. that's why you've got to be where we are

in the grey area of life Is it grey area? I tell you, it's getting grey area and grey Almost black But So wait Coppola's bad at money

Yes Is what we're saying Okay And he was desperate Right And they were like Maybe godfather tree Yeah

He was like okay fine So I think it was a rush job as well Yeah Because like It's like 20 years after The second one but I mean like he and like he didn't even get like so he got Pacino and Diane Keaton couldn't get Robert Duval

no he got Johnny Fontaine Jesus good right but yeah Duval it's kind of like it's kind of bad for Duval because he was like it wasn't like he wants to be paid as much as Pacino but he was like I want to be paid like at least 120th like apparently they were offering him like an embarrassingly low oh really like a packet of crisps

Yeah, right. Yeah, so no Tom Hagan, that really hurts the film. That does hurt it completely, yeah. So they give a, there's a new Hagan, isn't there, like, Hagan's son, the priest guy? Yeah, but he's a priest, he's not like, so he doesn't do anything really. He's not like a consigliere or, like, he doesn't advise Michael at all. He's kind of shows up. It's, you know, who takes over that role is the fucking sister, Talia Shire.

Like, she's making decisions now. Yeah, she's now. like the kingpin like the... She's like ordering hits on people as like bitch yeah

a very weird choice to make her like the black widow It doesn't work It doesn't work Like it doesn't feel genuine It doesn't feel like her character

No not at all It completely betrays her character Of like being a punching bag Yeah I want to see more of that Yeah yeah You giddy bitch Gabby Is Ginny bad

You let's say Guinea I don't know I think Guinea The Italians now they've got a lot of words that are the slurs are funny yes exactly yeah like even like the slurs for like other

so that's for Italians but the slurs for other races it just sounds it all sounds like food you know I'd like to eat a moolie I will have a side order of the mullinian

and a fanuccio for dessert please ah very good so yeah and what's this ditsoon I'm hearing so much I don't even know that

You know even more than I do Well again, it's from the Sopranos I didn't just, I wasn't just born with his knowledge Yeah, he was the chosen one His first word Moolie Yeah Like the doctor in Monaghan brought me out

To the front door of the hospital It was like The Lion King This boy is the chosen one It's the circle of racism The circle of wine The Italians make fun of the blacks The blacks make fun of the Koreans

I'll probably have to cut that out I think Yeah Leave it in I don't care No This ain't free This ain't free material That's a shame

Because that's a No no, cut it out So anyway Where were we? Godfather Yeah So I got a little

Talia Shire I got a little too Flagrant there Yeah yeah Yeah yeah

Who else in it And then Andy Garcia we said He's terrible His daughter Then there's The antagonist

Played by Joe Montania See I don't even Remember Yeah He He's He's character's called

Joey Zaza Don't remember He's terrible As well Let's recap Let's fix this film right now So who would you

Let's fix The whole thing Okay Godfather Tree Brian and James style Yes Alright so we start off

Okay Michael Corley Owen I'm sorry I'm just remembering What the Lister Will never know We cut it out But anyway go on

And it was You know what it's funny But it's like It's not worth it Yeah Really shoot herself Of the foot there And even when you're saying

I was like I hope he knows what he's doing here Just so he can be ashamed Of himself Yeah yeah And I am but I don't ever seem to correct my behaviour

my it's like you know what my attitudes towards race and my eating habits are very similar in that I recognise the destructive patterns and how negative it is and how it negatively affects my life

you hurt everyone around you and everyone around me but I never correct it it's like see as you leave I'm ordering a pizza a Chinese and I don't know fucking pad tie or some shit

and I'll just put it all in a blender and drink it. But anyway, yeah, so who are we casting? This is meant to be a serious film episode. Who are we casting? It's gone a bit, it's gone a bit... Look, at least I'm a bit more energy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't win with you. It's like, oh, I need you to be more energy, but not too much change.

Just the perfect, just the right to fuck of this. Fucking Goldilocks and the three quails. I want it to be just right. Okay, so who are we cast? in the new godfather. Yeah, okay, so the guy who's like fucking where do we even start?

Okay, well, I think the most egregious one is fucking Sophia Coppola. Who were we getting in place of her? Yeah, so that's not even hard because all you need is just somebody who can act. And already it's a huge improvement. Yeah, just anyone else but her. We need to be saving her.

Yeah. I was saying she got so much hate off that. Just because of her dumb dad. Yeah, yeah. So we save her. So you've got to think who's like 19, 20 around that time? Anyone like?

Yeah, let me see, you know, let me work my magic. Let me go to my roller decks. I actually can't think. I'm blanking here a little bit. Well, it's a kind of hard role to think of like, you know,

hot 19 year olds. There's not many of them. Nah, no, they're dogs, aren't they all of them? The only, you know, you know, you got to only get hot when they turn 40. That's what I say. Jada Pinkett Smith. Let's go, let's play with it a little.

Yeah, yeah. No, and okay, who? Like Cameron Diaz or someone, I don't know. Literally anyone, yeah, that'd be fun, yeah, someone like that. Well, you can't need somebody who can... Well, Italian, like, Italian. Yeah, she's a bit too waspy. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, so...

You know what? I think Sophia Coppola, but just a better director. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just, like, less to do. Sure. If she's just there. I mean, she already has very little to do anyway. Look, we're getting hung up on that.

We'll come back to... What about the Joe Montaena? Someone cool. Yeah, somebody fucking, you know... Vinnie Jones. What about Peshy? Pesci would have been good. Get Pesci in there.

Yeah, get Pesci. Oh God. Why couldn't you get Pesci? Pesci? We had De Niro and the second one. Get Pesci and the third is the antagonist. I mean, this is around the time of Goodfellas and Casino where he's like peak psycho asshole.

Like Pesci would have been perfect. And you know what? Young DiCaprio as the daughter. put me in a little sexy dress but he's his character from what's eating Gilbert Graham

yeah I know I want to fuck my cousin he's like look I wanted to fuck my cousin too and that's how you

were born your little retard don't do it trust me just when I thought I was up she put my cock back in

yeah so yeah so yeah a little retarded DiCaprio in a dress perfect that's Sophia Copeland

the son should have a bigger role it's very weird that the son is very sidelined in it where he's just like yeah he's an opera singer

yeah he's an opera singer and yeah so Andy Garcia kind of takes on the role of the surrogate son now what's Andy Garcia what's his where do you come from

he's a son of his Hagan's no he's sunny remember Sonny sunny you had a bit on the side it's Sonny's bastard child

yeah that just come up out of the gutter out of the street so yeah who would have been good that's a fun idea to have like the bastard child

Yeah, kind of the rogue bastard child But I just Who could be the bastard child I can't buy in to fucking Can't buy like What about Nicholas Cage You would have been the right age around that time Oh my God

That's such a better Oh yeah Like he could have nailed it He's Italian He could be crazy He's a Coppola It's like literally perfect Oh my God

And actually you know Even that'd be so sexy That'd be so sexy That'd be so sexy To have him kissing Sophia Coppola That's real incest Real incest

cut and print Oh baby I don't even need Pacino Get him out of the way This old man's fucking wasting time Oh yeah Now I keep Diane Keaton She's good

Diane Keaton she connects you To their previous films Yeah yeah yeah I guess you keep Talia Shire But I wouldn't give her as much to do I know I humanise her Make her the person like Michael You can't do that

Yeah you gotta keep her like the Not innocent But keep her like a little bit distant from the mafia stuff because she would be distant she wouldn't like it because of what's happened to her in the past like her brother got fucking killed

like her abusive husbands got killed she still loved him he had a heart of gold and a cock of steel yeah let's get into the Pope shit because that's for me the only interesting bit in this whole movie is the Pope stuff

so the Pope it's based on Pope John Paul the first so in real life JP1 original. So in real life there's a lot of conspiracy theories about how he died. Because what he, after

like 30 something days 33 days. 33 days of 33. The Freemasons. 33 degrees of the Freemasons Illuminati. Turn upside down add another tree. You kind of change it a bit. You know, you put them on their side. It looks like bumholes

and that's what the Illuminati do. It's all ass play with these people. It's a tit. Yeah, yeah, it's big bosoms What is that, though, the 30th? Actually, didn't somebody try to burn down the Freemasons lodge in Dublin there? Yeah, well, I've charged the Freemasons. Have you?

I tried to sell them electricity. And our podcast still is not successful? It sounded like a real twink on the phone. They didn't know anything. A real, there's an incompetent twink running your Freemasons. Sure isn't they running everything. Affirmative action even ruined the Freemasons.

Yeah, but no, I. I did call up the Freemasons because I saw them on Google Maps to Freemates. I was like, oh, that'd be funny. Yeah. And it was just some guy being, I don't know. You were trying to sell them like...

Electricity. Yes. Yeah. With my company. And I was like, do you know who being charged with electricity? I don't know. Yeah.

I'll give you the email. Let me find it. It's probably just a rent boy that got out of the duncan. Hey, what are you doing? Answer on that phone. Get back here. Yeah, he was talking to me in code.

And by code. I mean he's literally going like, please help I'm being raped and like, yeah, that's cool, yeah. So anyway, who would be in charge of electricity? I'm being raped, yeah, well the premiums here are looking good, you know, the market is...

Yeah, I'll tell you, a lot of times when they say fixed, a fixed charge, they're not actually fixed because they add on additional prices, so think about that when you're being raped. Yeah, yeah. Live in the real world. But anyway, so the pulp shit,

did you have anything more with the Freemasons there? No, I just thought I'd get like some juicy stuff and it was like some bored. To be honest, I've never even looked into the Freemasons, just one of those... Freemasons is just like a club for guys. It's just a gay club for you. Yeah, they're just old men jerking each other off.

Yeah, and being like, oh, it's good things though women around here. What is it, the lodge, they call it? The Elks Lodge, is that a thing? That's a different thing, yeah, yeah. Even Fred Flintstone was in the Freemasons. Really, yeah? Yeah, remember they had the group there, like the Mighty Buffalo? Oh, yeah, and then what's the one in the Simpsons,

the Stone Cutters? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, I mean, like, it really was just a gentleman's club where guys could go there and talk about masculinity. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk about what's really going on. But, yeah, it obviously gets always brought up by the conspiracy retards. Like, the Freemasons rule the world.

It's like, well, maybe. Well, the Freemasons is interesting enough. That's connected to the death of the Pope. Okay. Because apparently there was a lot of cardinals who weren't the Freemasons. Yeah. And that was looked at, that was illegal. You weren't allowed being two parties like

Right, right, right Also, like were the Freemasons Kind of like anti-religion in a way Or? I think they looked at themselves As more important The religion, yeah Kind of like the original Illuminati

Was sort of like Were men of science and learning As opposed to religious fanaticism But yeah, okay So there was a lot of shit going on In the Vatican at the time That JP1 got elected Yeah, we're talking

This is around the 70s, is it? Yeah Yeah, yeah. So it was like, obviously, let's not even get into the child rape, because that's almost like a consistent thing. Sure. That's like, that's what the church was built on, you know.

There are two things that are certain in life, death and child rape taxes or something. That's what your tax money's going to. Like the child rape in the Vatican, that was almost like a support beam holding the whole thing up, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the more egregious thing was the money laundering. The mafia connections.

Like, obviously, like, the mafia, very connected with the Vatican. The Vatican, sure. The Italians, you know, if you want to launder money, what's the best, you know, like, the best place to do is the fucking Vatican. The Vatican. Because, like, they're not, like, held accountable for, like, you know, the IRS can't, like, go fuck with the Vatican, you know? They actually had FBI informants in the Vatican. Because the FBI were investigating it because there was one guy in Chicago, uh, he was, he was, was like a cardinal, a big muckety-muck in Chicago, and he was an FBI informant. He'd go over

the wagon, like, you know, scout around the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I think he got caught. He was also stealing huge amounts. He was stealing money from orphanages and calling people the N-words of like that. Oh, I see. But I mean, he was like a boss, you know, no, Chicago. Oh, how you doing there, eh? I don't know. What are you on from him? Sorry, yeah, go on. I like grump. This is why, like, you know, I didn't like even know all high energy and racist. like you know when I'm grumpy and sad

and racist yeah they're ruining everything I gotta tell you yeah okay so yeah the Vatic

so kind of like a JFK situation JP1 got elected and he was going to change things right okay you know he was going to shake things up

yeah and that can't be allowed to happen of course so yeah he was found dead allegedly he was holding a bit of paper

with names on it that paper got burnt okay now now what do they speculate those names or were the ones like involved

Yeah, he had a list of like who was who he was going to investigate This is what's conspiracy people say Okay I'm not saying it's true I'm just saying

That's what they're saying Yeah And they're saying he got whack Because he was getting Too close to Changing things Okay You know

Yeah No, I'm with you Yeah Exactly yeah And some people say It was the mafia Some people say It was the CIA themselves

Now why would they do that Because were they involved too Not really People's like saying it people just like connecting the CIA but you know what because CIA are so insidious and so evil

you can connect them to anything and there's like a 90% chance it's right yeah true yeah like any kind of like casting a wide net yeah like any kind of terrorist attack any assassination at all

yeah if you say the CNN are involved the RTE are involved if you say the CIA are involved they probably are in some capacity Yeah, yeah, yeah. At the very least, had four knowledge of it

and allowed it to go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. So that's the same, like, they might have known that something was going. They might have known those plans to whack the Pope. Yeah, yeah.

But knowing there's plans to do it is very different from, like, actually, like, being involved in the... Knowing when the poison will get dropped into the chalice, you know. Yeah, yeah. And now, yeah, so what's the official cause of death? Well, it didn't really do an autopsy. Oh, yeah. Very strange.

no point. Why, you nerd. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, what I've heard is someone trying

debunk the conspiracy theory is I heard he was just found like an uncompromising what, is that the word a compromising position? Yeah.

I think some nun found him naked. Okay. Just like, he just passed out naked on the turlet. That's not that compromising, though.

I know, but for the Pope, you know. So then I think they told, told everyone that he was found in his bed, you know, hold in his Bible. Yeah. With his rosary

in, he and he'll be... They, shillow! That's funny, isn't it? So how does he get killed? I forget now, how does he get killed in Godfather Tree? I think it's poison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They poisoned his tea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They put some funny pills

in his tea or something, yeah. So that's a direct reference to the Pope. I'll tell you what be fun now. I looked up at other popes that got killed. We can look that up there, see, like, what the crack is with that. That might kill some time. You forget how many popes was being.

Well, I don't forget, Brian. I never knew. That's not knowledge I have ever had in my life. Really? You're missing out, man. Oh, my God. This is why I can't get puss. The Gen Z whores won't let me smash because I don't know about the puns. You know those TikTok girls are like, they love popes,

don't they? Because you're going up there like, oh, Justin Bieber Like, shut up old man Do you ladies care For the dance stylings of Fred Astaire? No, we're all about Gene Kelly, you old fan

Do you know about Pope Pontius The second? Of course you don't Okay, boomer Yeah, okay So there's been so many popes Yes, I'd imagine so. And I'm just looking up to murdered

So there's martyred popes And then murdered popes I don't even know the difference Martyrs Like they died for a cause or some shit. Yeah. So let's just go through,

like St. Peter, this doesn't even make sense. 67. He was dead at 67? No, no, year 67. Okay. That sounds silly,

doesn't it like... What you mean? What's silly? Look, I know it's dumb, but my head, 67 is cavemen. I know it isn't. It's really not.

But in my head is like dinosaurs. The flits. Yeah, it is, yeah. I didn't pay attention. In my head, 67, Fred, like, he just gets off.

work and he goes down the dinosaur's tail that's in my head what 67 is so St. Peter okay? Yeah. Upside down crucifixion. What? Yeah. That's indignant isn't it like? In 1967? Not 19, the year 67.

Oh, fuck. Right. Okay. Yeah, no, I thought you were saying... You did talk about in 1960s. Yeah, I thought you meant 1960s. I was like, why is he? I actually... Yeah, you taught like... I'm such a retard. It was the Beatles. It was Beatlemania and Dinners. your sores.

All right. Right, we're back there. We just paused. Just to let the audience know, I had a bit of a moment. You did. A bit of a moment there, I was like,

I can't do this anymore. I just, I just felt like I was, you know, I felt like an anchor. You hit a wall. I was weighing you down. It's like I couldn't think properly.

You know, it's tough to do this, though, to keep it going and going and going. And after, like, we've probably done about 200 episodes now, and we're just sick of each other. But my problem is, I've been very bad,

week because my manager has COVID so I have no real incentive because normally my manager is in the office. So I got to at least look like I'm doing something you know but because my manager's not around and no one else in the office really gives the fuck what I do I can just like just go on Reddit

and just stare at things all day so I haven't been using my brain at all today or this week really so my brain's very mushy now and it's kind of like when you don't exercise you're kind of just get soft and flabby. Yeah I was like a once great athlete

Yeah But your brain's got man tits now Yeah Yeah Everyone on the bus makes fun in me And all the kids call me Fatty Boobati Fatty Bumbatty

Yeah Fatty Bumabati Let me have a go on Tittybird Yeah And I'm like I don't understand What you children are saying But I know it's hurtful

You know what else It's kind of like It's well I remember hearing this awful story Where you know like Bill Hicks Got cancer Yeah And he was dying of it

Obviously Yes He wasn't getting better from it. No, but then he did get better from it and became Alex Jones. That's a great, yeah, yeah. That's a legitimate conspiracy theory. I thought it was hilarious. I thought that was just

a funny joke someone made and I was like, oh, this is real. People genuinely believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, yeah, so Bill Hicks got cancer. Yeah, and he was getting sick, all right? Yeah, yeah. And I remember he was getting really sick and he got on stage, like his friends, Brom took a comedy club or something like that. He got on stage,

did a few minutes. And he was doing okay and he was just like, yeah, I I can't do this anymore Just walked off No, no, you have to get like A friend to like get on stage to help him down Oh, that's sad And then like he went to his parents' house

He just like, he talked him for a while And he was like, yeah, I'm done talking now Just stop talking Yeah, yeah And then for like four days afterwards He was just in the house Just not talking You just write notes and stuff

Because I didn't get like It hurt him a bit to talk Yeah, just like talk too much out of him Yeah, and then he just died in his bed Yeah That's very sad from somebody who was such an eloquent speaker I could formulate points

and kind of articulate them and get them across like you know in a pretty funny way like people put him up there like he probably is he definitely is overhyped too much but he's the thing like

it's unfair to him because it's just like he was just a he was a good comic all right he was a good comic but he's very intelligent and very articulate

and he could formulate ideas and get them across to the bottom feet and reach towards like us. It's just he's from a different time where like if you watch him now because we're very cynical now

and a lot of stuff he's saying now like when he goes like he's talking about Bush senior and he's like the Gulf War yeah he's like basically war is bad and you know

Bush is a bad president yeah and we're not gonna kids now I'm gonna be like oh my God what this guy he should be censored you know

this guy he's probably going to be killed he's dangerous yeah it's just fairly like bog standard shit now Back then it was very revolutionary. Same like Lenny Bruce. You have to like step back and be like, oh no,

when he makes a joke about like, you know, women sucking cock, this actually like is a big thing. He went to jail and it ruined his life. Yeah. So he said... And the police made him

hooked on heroin. He said, I like to come on stage and people are like, well, your life's over. Get into jail, junkie.

Yeah. Yeah, man. You know who played, um, I've never watched the Lenny Bruce movie. Is it good? I've heard good things about it. I've seen documentaries,

but I've never watched the Dustin Hoffman movie. I heard Eddie Isard played Lenny Bruce in an Edinburgh play years ago. And I heard it was very good. Okay.

Interesting. And there's no footage at that at all. Yeah, I don't know. Eddie Isard, you know, obviously blah blah. I'm not even going to

but just too pretentious for me. He's just too pretentious. He is. He's really pretentious. I wouldn't even say pretentious. I just think it's just not my type. He's very pipe. in there,

Pythin Influenced? Yeah. Monty Python influenced. It's very silly kind of style that isn't my cup of tea. Yeah, it's not for me. Yeah, I'm like,

why aren't you talking about Bush? But yeah, so Bill Hicks, how do we get talking about this? Oh, because I was talking about how, like, I had a bit in a moment there. Yeah, well,

I've been the same today and I've already said it, but yeah, I just, I woke up and it's just one of those days where you just, one of those days. You don't want to wake up.

Yeah, yeah. Everybody's sad. But I just have pure brain fog. And I'm like that sometimes. In some episodes, I'm very, I'm with it, and I'm coming up with jokes and it's all fun. But other times, I'm just, just a big, I just have a big lump of shit in my head. Yeah, and it's just, it's not working. There's not an exciting us.

Yeah, there's nothing going on. There's not on grabbing me by the cock and going, like, wake up, Brian. We're coming out of Christmas. It's just that sort of January fatigue, you know? Yeah, it's January fatigue, but also, like, you turn on the news and I'm like, oh, COVID's still here. Yeah. There's not much. We don't even get the cool microchips that I was promised.

Yeah, the gigs are cancelled again. It's just a groundhog day, man. You know, grind hog day. Did you read much about the microchips? No, what's the microchips? The, of Sweden? Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't.

You know, it's funny, though, because people will talk about, like, you know, microchips 666, Mark of the Beast, you know, all that stuff. I've heard old lady saying this. No joke. No joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm telling you they out of my. of the beasts, you know what they mean?

Oh, are you serious now, Mary, really? And how do the Jews come into this? I didn't mention the Jews, Joe. That's you bringing that up. Well, now that it has been brought up, I think we need to keep an eye on this. It's about time someone brought it up. Are you familiar with the fact that Israel is bringing out a fourth booster shot? Joe, please, I'm talking about the housing crisis here.

I think it's so funny if Joe had like his own robin. Oh, yo, you crazy. Sean Moncrief calls him up. You're a disgrace, yeah, at least my daughter's not a whore. She's a nice lady. What's her name? Titty Moncrief. Yeah, Tiddy Moncrief.

Titty Moncrief. Oh, Buckwheat versus Titty Moncrief. Oh, good grief is Tiddy Moncrief. Oh, my Lord. Bill Hicks stops talking When he sees Tatey Moncrief, it's like, my God Those ditty's so big to cure my cancer Oh yeah

She put a tongue so far up by ass It licked my pancreas clean Well yeah, Bill Hicks was good He was good He was good Oh, there's a radical take for you ladies Yeah, yeah Bill Hicks was good

I know it's not cool to say anymore Yeah, yeah But yeah, I mean like, but I don't know We're also cynical and he's like, you know, we can take the money and we can feed all the poor people in the world. Life's just a ride, man, it's just a ride.

I'm so cynical, I'm like, well, actually, that'll just incentivise them to be lazy. We need trickle-down economics, Bill. Learn that in hell. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, Bill is good, but there's, like, type of guy who likes Bill, that's, like, insufferable.

Hey Brian, you like comedy Let's smoke a doobie together And watch Bill Hicks Yeah You're like that won't you Listen to Toul Yeah I've got tool on vinyl

Dude I've got this remix where it's like Bill Hicks okay But there's like cool trippy music playing during it Yeah You know if you like play Bill Hicks's revelations And tools Fucking whatever

And the Wizard of Oz And it sinks up man Yeah But anyway, yeah He opened for Tool Yeah, back in the day Yeah, that's pretty cool It's always weird

When musical acts like comedians And like kind of mixed the two together It doesn't really works I saw Tenacious D in The Point in 2006 And Neil Hamburger opened for them Neil Hamburger That's sort of anti-comedian I couldn't think of a more niche

Yes Type of comedy The crowd, I didn't know who he was None of the crowd knew who he was He bombed obviously But not even bombed people were just like, what is this? What's going on?

It just didn't translate at all. Yeah. Anti-comedy, even if you're in the joke sometimes, if you're watching it in front of like just normal people, you're like, yeah, I guess it's anti-comedy. These people just want to, you know, there's so many people hired a babysitter, you know?

Yeah, and he's just like coming out, like, intentionally being bad and putting them in a shitty mood. I don't want to blow up your spot here, but is it true that you had some carnal relations not yeah well I just dropped you had fingery relations with a girl

yeah in the pit at tenacious D yeah but not I told you it was during Neil Hamburger because that was funnier yeah but it was actually not it was during Tenaise D's D that's pretty cool

that's what Teneatia stand for yeah yeah yeah Kyle glass you don't always have to fuck a heart it was it was consensual by the way just all of you busy bodies out there with your

pencils and notepad There is certain busy bodies that are just waiting for you to slip up. Me, me I'm okay but you, the second, oh my God. There's something in this very episode that we're cutting out which is so annoying because it is in the moment

in context it was fine It wasn't but No it wasn't But I was aware The whole time We can't see what it is But it's a nine because it's like,

hmm, it's something that like, normally it's like, I could defend that. Yeah. And it just went over the line of defending it. Just a little bit, yeah. Or it's like, oh, you're fucking right. That's a nine thing. Yeah.

Yeah. God. Well, you know. They'll be tearing down your statue. They will be, yeah. They'll be like Gaddafi, just been dragged for the street while they shove a bayonet up my ass. And I'm just on camera like, oh, with that stupid, what's going on here, look slapped across my chevy

chase. Oh, what's happening? Didn't Gaddafi have a rape room? Don't say that. Don't belittle him. Don't besmirge Gaddafi. I mean, I'm like, did he need a one room? Like, surely the whole country was... Yeah, he did have a rape room. It was called Libya.

Yeah. This is rape country, you know? I heard he was big in the plastic surgery. Isn't that mad how, like, even, like, we've all got bodied this morphia, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Gadda You know, if you put a picture of Gaddafi towards the end and present day Michael Rourke, Mickey Rourke, sorry, Mickey Rourke, it's quite hard to tell him apart.

They just definitely Gaddafi got work done and it wasn't good. He looked very weird, like a melted candle, you know. I do miss Gaddafi. It was fun having Gaddafi around. He added a bit of spice to life. Yeah, yeah. And all the cool, the funny dictators, even like Kim Jong-un is kind of like, he's gone quiet now. He kind of lost weight, didn't they?

Yeah, I don't need Kim Jong-un looking good. He had a glow-up. Kim Jong-un had a glow-up. It was funny. He used to be this fat guy we all made fun of. I'll tell you what, it's the interview. That movie with James Franco. Yeah, that's what ruined it.

Yeah, he saw that and he was like, what do they think I'm a joke? They think I chubby. Then he lost the weight. Yeah. And he was like... He had a coma. He was in a coma or some shit for a while. Look like he was going to die and then...

Well, again, like, who knows what? to trust, okay? Yeah, it could be a row. For all we know, that's just like a couple, two midgets and a dog in a trench coat. How do you know it's not? You know? We don't know what's going on over there.

It's all wacky. Kim Jong-un keeps barking. But, like, yeah, all the fun... Keeps talking about the lollipop guild. What's going on? All the fun dick tears died. Now it's just boring, you know? Even, like...

Putin's still pretty cool. Putin is directly... involved at my job. Yeah? Because you know he's He called you up Brian

Yeah Performance in Forrest Quarter Not so good Did I do good Mr. Pugin He's gonna bring me To the office party

Yeah Salesbury Poisoning Part 2 Me and Oliver Stone Just going wild together But yeah

So how's Putin Putin's fucking Because he's in charge The gas market Okay Yeah He basically decides Who gets gas

He's the gash man I've got gash Hello So he's selling gas He's meant sell to Europe But they've been selling it to China Because they're offering more money

Of course So because of that I have to fuck over old ladies In my job It's because of Putin I have no You tell them that as well It's like here I love

Take it up with Putin Click Nice Yeah Oh your husband died Wee Where we're going to talk about there Oh different strokes

Yeah We kind of Because we paused this episode which we never really do. This is the first time we ever pause Yeah, it's the first time so, you know

that's not, that's not bad going. We're feeling a bit more energized now. I'm actually, see how much energetic I am now? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Too much, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calm down, Brian. This is what happened the last time, you know? Yeah, this one's going to have to go under the knife a good bit, yeah, this episode's going to be looking like Mickey Rourke's face

by the end. We're going to have to cut and paste a bunch of shit. I'll have to say those. A lot of times we do episodes and Ash was like, oh, fuck, and I'll have to cut out so much of that

and it's really only like two things probably should be more yeah yeah yeah but yeah so my life isn't going too well at the moment oh no no things things aren't going well for too well my death I've just accepted it my best days are behind me yes all my friends

I didn't work on the relationships they went off they've moved on with their life you know they've grown up they've got kids now yeah I'm still living this party boy lifestyle yeah absolutely you're just uh rock and roll your van wilder still you know I drink two cans and eat a whole chocolate cake in bed

oh jeez I'm surprised you can afford two cans you see the price of alcohol now have you seen that uh yeah they've gone up haven't like insane though basically this is like the Irish government's attempt to um like stop our drinking culture

because especially during COVID everybody's drinking at home. So like, like a slab of cans used to be like, you know, 15 to 20 euro, but now it's gone up to like 35 to 40 euros. I swear to God, no, like the increase has like went up like insane. That's it. It's insane. And the argument against this, I don't know which way, I haven't done enough reading on the issue, okay? But the argument against that people would make social scientists, not are queers, okay? Is that, um, what you're really doing is you're making poor people turn to other stuff. Yes, absolutely. That's 100% what's going to

happen. Also, you're going to see more smuggling from the north. Like anyone, like so where I'm from, Monaghan, right, you know, very close to the border. So all that's going to happen there is people are just going to drive over, like, to Enis Gillen or Armaf, or Manor, wherever, and just

buy loads of fucking cheap drinking as them bring it back. It's going to absolutely destroy the off licenses in Monaghan and those border regions. Also, we're going to see more like smuggling operations you're going to see more as you said like more people just turn into drugs because opiates and shit like that yeah alcohol is way too expensive like alcohol can't can you get um the only people talk about like the relapse and they drink hand sanitizer you ever hear that i have heard that

i don't know if it's actually a common thing but if it is jesus what a great time to be an alcohol no yeah hand sanitizer in every shop you go into you know what i mean he bears you can actually get high from sniffing antigen tests but yeah no the increase of alcohol is wild and now let me be the uh the opposing side people are drinking too much james yes oh what are we just gonna oh and that if we believe you then we should lower the price down to one cent yeah that'd be great all right uh but yeah no obviously like during covid we've seen an increase in drinking uh there's been domestic abuse is increased obviously alcohol plays a role i'm not saying It's, you know, I see where the government's coming from in theory,

although, of course, they're doing it more for the financial end of it as opposed to, you know, the social responsibility, whatever. But I think it's going to have a knock-on effect that we're not, we're not too sure yet what way the chips are going to fall, but I see, I don't think it's going to go the way they wanted to. Now, here's a liberal take, okay? I like to bounce around. I don't know what the fuck I believe, okay?

Yeah, yeah. Why are the... You're a political non-binary. Why's the poor man got to pay for this shit? Shouldn't it be the man upstairs? Yeah. Okay. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. This is just like, you know... But no, they were saying, to be serious from it, they were saying that, like, there's so many other things you could raise the price on. So, like, um... Like, you do with housing and stuff like that.

Like, if you're buying a mansion... I mean, they are doing that, though. Like, everything is... Well, no, just... Well, no, I'm done that. I couldn't have be t-shock then. I'd be at the debate, and I was like, well, what about this?

They're doing that. fuck me no I just meant like you know well like the increase of like rented property is going up you know the money like it's the cost of living is just you know getting higher and higher

the fuel the energy crisis it's all fucked we're fucked just get on the gear boys get on the brown Charlie Brown saves Christmas yeah just get on the gear that's the only way

you can get through it you know really the only kind of logical thing to do is I quit my job yeah and I just start like just fucking getting fights like that's only how logical

just fighting people on the street yeah that's literally the logical thing to do okay no this is what you need to do right you need to go to Phoenix Park with the rest of the rent boys yeah and then like with somebody you're like all right sailor looking for a good time and then you get in the car but you're like

oh I'm actually I'm an agent provocateur because I'm going to beat this guy up for being a Nancy and a fairy you're like going to queer bash him but then you're so weak that he kicks the living shit out of you and rapes you and doesn't give you the money. That's your new life, Brian, and you do that seven nights a week. And if I keep doing this, that'll help with the energy crisis.

If Putin here is about this. Yeah, so, all right. Yeah, what can be done then? I have no idea. I'm not the, man, I'm not, my brain is so fucked right now. I can't even record a podcast. Don't tell me to sort out the fucking, no, socioeconomic climate. My point at the beginning of this was,

Because the world's so bad I've regressed And I'm just watching old sitcoms Because in the old sitcoms Everything works out Yeah So the petos get the little boys Yeah

And somebody gets AIDS And you know where you are But then Gary Coleman Makes a face And it all works out Yeah He says the line We all want him

To say the line Yeah What you're talking about And we all cheer Yeah Okay So I've been watching A lot of different strokes

Because it's a fantasy It's a fantasy world an old rich white man adopts some kids and he's just like didn't there's never any trouble yeah

and he's always like teach him a lesson at the end to have some trouble and strife but the end it's all right yeah

you know so like I watched one episode there where like there's like a Mexican oh yeah really is different strokes

isn't it and like he's a doorman okay but it's like to Gary Coleman like oh I need money to invest I need to invest I need to invest

I need money to invest Yeah, yeah, yeah And Gary Coleman's like Yeah, I got some money He saved up to buy a bike, okay? Okay He gives us to the Mexican Stay away from that bike shop

What's the kids there? His character? Gary Coleman Oh, I don't know the character's names I deliberately don't learn the names Oh, right, okay, so Gary Coleman I don't get too attached You know how it ends

Yeah, yeah But so he gives the money And the Mexican guy puts on the horse Okay So he's not investing it at all He's putting the horse okay So Coleman got police.

Yeah, yeah. Coleman learns a value of a lesson. Don't trust doormen or Mexicans.

Yeah, but no, but Coleman's like, oh, I feel bad now and he guilt's the Mexican. He,

but it's a sure thing. He's like, no, I need my money. Oh, so then the Mexican cancels the bet.

He doesn't put the money down. Okay. But then the horse wins. But the lesson was more important than the money.

No, it wasn't. Anyone who thinks that is an idiot. Yeah. It's all about the dollar baby cash rules everything around me cream in your pants when the black man sing or whatever that uh whatever the lyrics of that wu tangs i don't think that was the lyric is that not it

no i thought i was close then i don't take you with respect to work of old dirty bastard o d b for life i keep meaning to watch that wutang show i started watching it yeah it's fun yeah it's fun it's got big pussy in it not as not as der riza But it's good. It starts off, though. The only thing is, like, it starts off, and they're not, like, call themselves Chris and Paul. Yeah, I don't know their real names. So...

I don't even know, like, inspect a deck. Like, who the fuck? I couldn't tell you what you look like. Inspect what? There's Rizza, Jizzah, ODB, Method Man. It's a lot to keep track of. Do you listen to much Wu-Tang? I mean, I've listed at 36 Chambers quite a bit, but, like... They're big into sampling.

Yeah, yeah. There's almost a bit too much. It's like, oh, I'm just listening to a movie now. Yeah. they're pretty heavy-handed with that but that was a way more popular thing back in the 90s I suppose they just found out how to do it

I forget which one there's some a lot of them are big in the Marvel it's quite funny now because back then that would be very niche you know yeah kind of cool yeah there's a lot of things like

you're hanging out with Tony Stark and like back then like most people would be like what the yeah what's a Tony Stark yeah is that a black thing is it? Yeah yeah

is he a pimp has he got the hose is he someone who's lots of drugs Well, kind of It's that Iceberg Slib's real name Tony Stark Iceberg Slim is

Iron Pimp That's like a mad TV sketch right there Yeah, there you know Yeah, he's his big metal hand The Slap a bitch That's what we need in our life More mad TV

More Will Saso As a fat Robert De Niro Hey, how you doing? You all right, have a good time Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, That's literally the level of You know It's funny, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, look, different strokes. Different strokes. All right. I was just trying to say is, it's always a nice story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never goes, even the episode

that pedophile ended nicely, okay? Yeah, it's weird to watch that Pito episode. They're still, like, the audience laughing. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the pantos. It's like, he's behind you. Because I bet a lot of the audience don't see anything wrong with it.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, that kid's getting raped. What's the problem here? Hey, it ain't called friend business. It's called show business As in, you gotta show your age I don't think people understand The rampant paedophilia

In Hollywood No, it's just in the In the world Back, no, but like 70s Yeah And 80s Like it wasn't a thing It really wasn't an issue at all

Like even like Roland Polansky Yeah When he raped that 13 year old Yeah I was seen as more like a social faux Yeah, it's like hey, come on now We're trying to enjoy this hot tub too And you're just

Yeah make you a big mess but you're right though there's sort of like you know a 30 year old man with a 15 year old girlfriend it wasn't only normal it was encouraged by the government

Reagan went on national TV he's like hello my fellow Americans if you see some hot teenage sneeze make sure to smash it it was like the government incentives yeah

trickle down pussy yeah Reaganomics Nancy gets on just say whole yeah well yeah yeah we get it yeah dare to be a slut yes yes

but um nancy's ass retard ejaculate what dare oh okay yeah I'm dyslexic so yeah okay I just thought you're having a stroke there okay so back to different strokes yeah yeah yeah well look I don't know

what else we got where are we at we're over an hour now we're over an hour yeah but how much is usable a lot of it actually yeah yeah look it's a free one we'll admit this wasn't our best you're off to a stag aren't you yeah i'm going to a stag um on the 13th 14th oh that's close is it come up or can we just wonder can we record again before you go off to stag yeah yeah no wait tim dillon is meant to be the 13th is that going ahead no no it got rescheduled yeah oh did it yeah he said on the podcast yeah oh shit i missed that okay well

he said that they could do a half capacity Yeah There's no way To do that like Oh that's alright then Yeah

Fuck it, yeah Grant But yeah So the stag That's yeah That's like You're going off shooting Yeah

Clay pigeon Shooting Go carting Um But like you know All the pubs are closed at eight So I don't know

Just drinking the gaff I guess You have a gaff? Yeah But there's a bit of a thing Now with the Airbnb We booked a place But now

The guy that owns it Is actually like Oh I'm actually giving that to my daughter's hen party and you're like i don't see an issue yeah but then he's trying to give us these like instead of one big gaff it's two smaller gaff so we got to split up and even though they should be cheaper he still wants to charge us the original amount so he's kind of trying to focus over a little bit here so there's a little bit of for all i know we might not even be staying in

this place because of the back and forth yeah yeah real i would show up at that daughter's hen party yeah oh yeah you know what i do yeah you know what mad daughter tool would do You want, tell me, brother. Oh, I tell you, I'd write a letter, okay, and I put it under the door. Yeah, yeah. And I run away. It's going to be once. I'd run away and then eat a whole cake and bed.

But yeah, so, I don't know. The Airbnb thing, there's a lot of fuckery going along with that. Yeah, it's really a guy's discretion. Yeah, pretty much. It's just kind of like you go, like, will you fuck me over? Yeah, yeah. But no, that's, yeah, well, I've just, now, it'd be funny if we're going to be in close proximity of this hen party

is like, yeah, oh, ladies, who's the lucky lady then? What do you do? It's like three in the morning, they're all in bed. I'm like, come on, love, let's get the batty going, eh? You're twisting me melon, man. I'm on like off my face.

Please get out. Do you remember that darts player I sent you? Yeah, what was that about? That was just some guy, he's just fucking, he's just a, he's a man, okay? Apparently he played like one of the best game of darts. ever okay just like a perfect game okay but he was playing he was like calling out

where he was going to go okay he's like who's fucking better me of the devil that's what fucking me can't yeah he's like cursing the whole yeah you fucking can't have that you fucking coach who's better me of the devil what what are you talking about? That's what you can say when you go to the hen party yeah

you bring a dartboard like look at this ladies afternoon ladies so suddenly it's a beautiful afternoon wouldn't you say Please get out Yeah I watched That new PTA film

Yeah Liquors Pizza Yeah I don't even want to hear Because you watched a cam Version I watched the disgusting cam That's like

I don't That's like I watched it I watched it in the reflection Of a mirror Like Of a broken mirror And I was like

I think like Is that It's either Sean Penn Or Don Cheadle I don't I don't know yeah we're going to do next week you think you'll have watched it by then

yeah you know what like you're pretty broke though I'm not too bad you know I think I probably will go see it actually to fuck look I don't want to pressure you into this again I really want to see it and you know what I've never no way that's not true actually I was going to say I've never watched a PTA movie in the cinema but I did I went to see the lighthouse me and my two me Lighthouse isn't PTA the master

you fuck it I don't care I told you I don't care. I've told you I've got jelly. I've got shit-flavored jello in my brain right now. I can't look at you. I'm a dog. Jeez, it's like finding out your son is gay. Disgusted.

It's like finding out your son is Brino Tool. Yeah. I know, I was shaved myself. There's really no redeemable thing. What I meant to say was I went to see the master in the lighthouse. That's fun. But like... Bring a few girlies. No, it was just like me and my two mates, but we had like gotten, we bought a load of like,

like Xanax from this dealer we're all on Zanis and smoking weed so we were all like well, they were zonked out like what's in the master like my maid like one of them like you know him I'll not put him on wax

but he like full on passed out for about an hour and a half it was pretty funny but it's so funny it was great film but I just like a PTA film he is like just such an incredible filmmaker

definitely the best working filmmaker in Hollywood right now so I just debate a little I want to go, well, for me, anyway, I just love his work so much. So I want to go see it in the cinema and appreciate it, you know. So if it means I have to remortgage my house, so be it. I could just give you the Patreon money, but nah. You spend on silly things like licorice pizza.

You'd probably buy licorice pizza, would you? Yeah, I'd buy a pizza and put licorice on it and then give myself horrific food poisoning. And then fuck a 15-year-old boy. Whose dad just died. Yeah. Rather, it was a twink junkie. That's why he's dead. I won't say too much about the film.

I think you'll enjoy it, but we'll do a full episode about it because we'll get a full episode out of it. Are you going to actually watch it proper? I'm going to watch it proper this weekend, yeah. It's very good. But a lot of the controversy around it is pretty silly and dumb. Yeah, like the age gap and the Asian voice. I mean, the age gap is definitely something that you're like,

I wish you didn't include that. Yeah. Because it's not really... It's not necessary? Yeah, even just like 15. Cause what's his name? Cooper Hoffman.

Cooper Hoffman. He doesn't look 15. Like, you could just say he's 17. Yeah. You get to say, it's still sexy, you know?

Also, like, when you put them in the 70s attire with the hair and the sideburns, it gives them a bit more of an age anyway. But if I was defending, I would say,

like, it's not a big deal in the film because it wouldn't be. Yeah. If you were like a 50-year-old boy, you know, yeah, that's what it was. As you've learned

from watching different strokes. Yeah. You've seen that it was totally normal back then. Yeah. It's, You'll like it now. It's kind of like the first half of buggy nights.

Yeah. No, I'm looking forward to it, Jay. It's good. Now, watch out for Ben Stiller. He's in it for like one scene. Yeah, well, so you claim. It's weird. This drove me crazy.

I couldn't sleep last night, okay? Yeah. So I watched it, and Ben Stiller's in it for one scene, but he's wearing like a big wig and a beard and glasses. And I was like, I think that's Ben Stiller. But you couldn't be sure. I couldn't be sure. So I looked up on Wikipedia. Didn't say it.

I was like, well, I suppose, you know, Wikipedia, you know, wasn't edited. IMDB will have it Didn't have it Didn't have it Then I went on to Ben Stiller's IMDB Yeah

Wasn't there And I was like What? Go on to like Reddit Then I went on to Reddit Okay You went deep

Yeah I went on to A Chan Okay Yeah Yeah And I tried to find out With Ben Stiller

I found out A lot of other things About his race Ha ha ha Go to the Patreon To hear about that No Jerry Stillers Dylers died in 9-11

Yeah Yeah fucking Jerry Stiller died last year didn't he? Yeah, yeah I'm sad now He was great Yeah, he was great Excellent

Yeah Real icon, man Just so funny Just so naturally funny He could, yeah Oh, he was great Fucking hell And I like Ben Stiller too

Ben's good Ben's good Ben's too serious Even when he's being funny There's like a real like He's got a real like Anger or an edge to him He does have an edge that comes out of them

There's a seriousness there? You know, you know, Ben Stiller's whole thing is he wants to be a director. Okay. That was his thing. So when he started off, he was doing funny little short films. Yeah. And he'd be in them, okay? Yeah.

But he was more the directing side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, like, he got shown MTV, the Ben's Diller show. Yes, yeah. With Bob O'Nek, Gene Garofalo. Andy Dick. Yeah, yeah. Good people.

And he was very much involved in the directing of all that life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think in his head, he was like, yeah, comedy's fun but I'll get to directing eventually and I think he kind of lost the run of himself he'd like, you know, nightly museum tree Yeah, yeah, I mean that's just big money. As you learned

on Reddit, the Jerry Stillers they can't walk away from the cheddar, you know? They love money and they love faking certain instance in history Night at the museum Night at the Holocaust Museum Now that'd be good, wouldn't it? Just Timothy Shalomey and like striped pajamas like

I don't feel so good Owen Wilson's a cowboy Wow, why don't these people have a sandwich They look emaciated, it's weird And Benz throws do his little funny stuff, you know Yeah, yeah, Ricky Dervais It's like, oh, what's going on there then? Would you like a sandwich, Mr Jewish boy?

you're feeling so well yeah night at the Holocaust and then they all learn the meaning of Christmas yeah yeah that's great now see we finally got something out of this episode that was great I loved that yeah

but anyway so just real quick so Ben Stiller got cancer what? Yeah he had cancer oh my god yeah around the time of Nightly Museum I think two or three yeah he got like I think

what wasn't skin cancer Things are worse cancer, okay? And he had to get, like, radiation stuff. And he went off, he, like, stopped making movies for a while. Jesus. Kept it real quiet. I didn't, yeah, right. Didn't tell anyone.

It wasn't in person. He just told Stern, he was just like, oh, you had cancer last year. Yeah. Yeah. Keep on your hat, Stern, okay? Don't tell anyone your radio show. Yeah, yeah. That's wild.

I didn't know that at all. I think because of that, he went to the more serious stuff. So then he did, um... Secret Life of Walter Mitty? Yeah, it was his attempt to doing something serious. Yeah, because that's all, like, you know, the whole thing is like, you know, embrace the majesty of life and life is a miracle and blah blah blah all that shit he did that miniseries escape from dunmore never even heard of that it got it got big uh big press at the time

yeah a lot of people liked it it's uh it's paul dano oh and benicio del toro uh it's based on true story it's there are two prisoners and they both start fucking one female security guard right played by patricia arque nice i've only seen the porn scenes oh yeah on the porn hub You should get them out? Yeah, yeah. Is it good? I don't actually actually gets them out. No, I think they're this banger, okay.

Like, through the bars. Yeah, yeah. You don't see that in porn? Like, you know? No, I haven't actually... We don't see that, no. It's like, oh, I excuse me, Mr. Officer, you know? Oh, I feel...

Well, maybe I can't help. I'm kind of... But yeah, he fucks her through the bars of the prison. That's fun, yeah. It's pretty fun, yeah. Well, like, in fairness... I like fun porn like that. It's kind of like he just sort of hangs onto the bars and, like, stays still,

and then she, like, you know, backs up on his dick and she does a bit of the work. She's the prisoner, you know? Porn should be fun stuff. I like you know, I like the storylines, you know. I'll tell you, I'm not condoming. I'm not condombing. Yeah, I'm not condombing

anything, but... I never, I'm not raw-dogging this, okay? I'm not condoning this, but I watched a porn parody called Squirt Games. Oh. Not as fun as you think. See, I'm not a fan of squirting. There's no squirting in it. It should have been called Rape Game.

Oh. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. And let me tell you, I watched this. I literally was like, am I going to get arrested for watching this? Because they must be very good actors. Really?

Yeah. How is it all Koreans? I'm not sure. They were like Asians. Yeah, it was Asians, okay. And the thing was they're doing like, you know, like the red light green light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is one, I only watched one episode.

Okay. So we're doing red light, red light green light. No. Oh, one of your special website. One of those cool ones That's put in a secret code And it scans your eye You have to put like two keys in a thing

And turn it And you also It's a good idea To not be in your own house When you're looking at it A different IP address is recommended Yeah But like

So it was like red light green light Yeah But you know if you move You get raped Wow Yeah Wow And I was like

This isn't fun That's horrible Yeah Were they speaking in English no okay and they were really struggling you know like not to be i don't think they were acting you think it was just like rape that's a big thing over there like japanese porn is all like older men like fucking younger women and like against their will kind of thing you know like the i didn't like it no you shouldn't yeah i only gave it three stars yeah yeah i only came twice you know i'm not a

pervert but no it should be fun stuff i say it should be silly We need more silly porn A cock and lips now I love the smell of pussy in the morning Indiana Jones Temple of Poon Stuff like that playful stuff you know

Yeah I saw one called You remember the movie Gorillaz in the Mist Well watch out there Hey I didn't make it This is a real thing I put it in your head

It was called Gorillaz in the ass and it was just like some guy in a gorilla suit just like fucking this woman in her gaff like oh here you go yeah in her gaff yeah oh my god see it wasn't even this is like on a when I was like 14 it was one of those sort of like real

sex channel like channel 5 shows like euro trash but it was just a segment about porn parodies like so there was a bunch of them there was a clockwork orgy shaving Ryan's privates shaving Ryan's private

yeah there's a load of them That's a bit too silly from my liking it Okay well I was enjoying it No no Okay Yeah you taught you wore We actually weren't Yeah

I remember the first thing I ever came to Was like women Tits out Washing cars And that song At the car wash Was playing What was that on?

That was on Channel 5 Like one of those like real sex shows You probably don't remember Those kind of shows I know the jokes I know like Euro trash Euro trash or real sex and those types of stuff

I wasn't there at the hey day of your trash But like you know I was like 12 I think it was like 12 and I'm watching it and I'm like wanking but I didn't know what like

coming was or anything And then like I'm watching it And it's like Wait what's something It's like oh my There's like oh no Santa Maria Yeah I didn't know

I was like is this I kind of knew that Oh this does happen But I had never experienced it You know what I mean But yeah it's a it's a trip It's like a surprise First time you come, you're like, whoa, what is that?

I just taught there, there's some people who are so sheltered. Like, you know, like, let's say like an Amish family or like maybe some really Mormon family. Yeah. That they don't understand, they will get married to a woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not really know what the fuck they're doing. Imagine, like, find out come first time, like, when you're fucking a woman.

You're like, what did you do? Evil war! Dad! Dad! You know, you had to be, like, I had to really be on my game back in the day, because I was like in my sitting room watching my television having a wank you know my family could have walked in at any minute you know I had to really I wasn't like in my bedroom with a laptop these kids today like I mean they got easy they talk about danger wanks this really was a danger wank I was like keeping one eye on

the door while I'm like and then I jizz all over myself I'm like oh no I remember with this t-shirt I was like I'm gonna have to throw this out now it's ruined forever jizz stains don't come out they're like it's like acid rain just burns a hole your shirt. My first jizzing experience was Babe Station. I really like Babe Station. That's a good one. Yeah. I'll do sometimes, I look up old Babe Station clips. Yeah. For nostalgia.

Yeah, and it's been like, God, those were fucking great times. I wonder how many of them women are dead now. You know what the real Babe Station is now? You go down to the canal and fish them out. That's where they all end up. Still got to pay for it, though. And you pay for

like, you've got like a half hour with them and then you have to put them back in the canal. they're all mangled up in a shopping trolley with a traffic cone up their cunt the shopping trolleys work more yeah yeah get some Chinese and we'll end it yeah

a nice little uh something small for us because we earned it yeah not too big we didn't earn it that much no no no but yeah next week guys might have a liquor's pizza episode we don't know what we'll do I think we got some good stuff out of this yeah yeah yeah apologies it's not our best

but hey you got night at the Holocaust museum it's pretty good oh it was excellent yeah yeah yeah see even when I'm bad I'm better than all of you worthless But you know who you are.