Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 155 : Whoopie Wahlberg

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Late episode, next weeks will be funny.

Into it? Whoa. We are back. We're back. We're recording. This is the post-live show special. The post-live show, session depression. This is the come down, yeah.

And it was a big high, I have to say now. It was... We did a live show. Yes, we did live show. The first of Manny. Yeah. Another one is coming on, I believe, the 22nd. Of May.

Probably, yeah. I'll get all the information. Yeah, yeah. Details, details. But yeah, 20 seconds of May. Just leave every... During a whole month of May, leave your calendar completely open, just in case we call you. Yes, and we will call you, because apparently you people need that.

Now, it was, thank you to everyone who came out to the show. Thank you so much. It was very fun. I had a lot of fun. I think we did pretty well. I think we put on a darn good show. Everyone was in good spirits, except for us. Yeah, I was in a foul mood.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was getting a little bit, I was getting cranky before the show. show I was like I don't even remember why I was being such a little bitch about something Well you know Yeah I was getting stressed Emotions were high

It was like the night of the big show It's like this is fucking if this doesn't work I'm dead in the water This is it for me Yeah But it was very fun It was very fun And I like the fact

We didn't like try and You know we had some fun We had a few pints and went home Yes We didn't try and go like Let's make the night last forever Let's get DMT and mix it into a bag of Coke

Yeah, it was nice and chill. Yeah. I only had like a few points. I kept forgetting to pay for the points. We were getting, people who were buying us pints while we're on stage. That was sweet. That was very fun. The barman was just bringing up pints and he was like from an anonymous donor.

Yeah, who was, did you ever find out who it was? I don't know. Like, I know Mark Maloney bought us a couple of pints, but I don't know who the anonymous donor was, yeah. Man, there's people who are paying our Patreon and buying his points. That's fair. What fools. Well, they know it's like, ah, we need to get these boys all liquored up so the truth comes on. but yeah the show is very fun everyone you know we had a good old time of it

we did some relationship questions yeah if you missed it we're going to do that later on on the show the relationship questions i think that's a good angle for us with live shows which relationship questions okay yeah i think that's a good way to kind of get people involved and get people interested yeah it's true because we're not just talking about us it's like you know what are these sad sacks doing no you're some really dark ones though there is like domestic abuse and all. Yeah, well for a live show you gotta read out the big guns. That's true. Yeah, yeah. We were watching the thing about

domestic abuse downstairs as well. We were, yeah. You got over here and I was like, James, shut up. You were trying to tell me about something to happen. Yeah, it's like, shut up and let's see, hear the truth for once. Zumo from Fair City was beaten up his misses. Yeah. I never watched Fair City. Was Zumo a big character?

I've never heard of Zumo before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be funny if Zumo was like, he gave himself that name. He was his extra number one. He's like, I think my character's called Zumo. I've got an interesting relationship My brother Yeah And a big fat-cunt wife

Who gets battered She was It was horrible But like Obviously sympathy to her She's like I've got to jump out the window It's like

That window is pretty small And you are not small And I can say this As a husky gentleman Actually at one point Wait a few guests on stage Yeah shout out to all the guests Thank you to yeah

Roe Carey James Moran Reg Pollock Paul Marsh Kevin Larnie and Jason Brennan, was that everyone? You got everyone, yeah. That's like naming all the presidents.

But, yeah, at one point James Bourne asked me how much do you weigh in a room full of people. That's why I love more. And his complete, you know, he's not concerned with the bourgeois sort of, oh, is this how one conducts oneself? Like, no, how much do you weigh, you fat, fat, con? Tell me now. See that hot girl?

Look at her in the eyes and tell her, you're a big pig. Yeah, he's not chained. social norms he's jangle unchanged he's free yeah and Morin's great crack

and Roe as well you need to get Moran on the no no Roe yeah yeah Roe and Claire we need to get Roe on the show

Julian Clary yeah Ron and Kerry you get him on the show he'd be good crack he was good no that was my first time eating him

but yeah very fun very fun guys and then after the next day me him and Moran went to see the Northman to get her

had little boys night out we didn't ask you no no no I would have spoiled it you know she you know me i don't really like films do i they're not for me you know what moving pictures with the talking and the whatnot nah nah not for me bit bit bit footy-duddy or old hat you know the nortman

is good yes but you should only see it in a cinema okay it's very visceral especially if you're 15 minutes late and you miss the start of it yeah i was the best way to see it was a little bit human to be you know because i got there early because i'm a weirdo like that and they're a bit late no offense okay but i was kind of joking being like oh we're going to miss the trailer I like the trailers but that's okay I like be swept away in the magic Yeah the trailers are great

You know what I used to love man Now just a when you rent A VH When you rent like a DVD from Extravision But it's like just some random movie And then you see trailers for like Pieces of shit films That never even got like a wide distribution

Yeah exactly Some really weird obscure films Anyway A good few films like that where I saw the trailer and for years I had a version of the movie in my head just from a trailer. Then I watched the movie like, let's say 20 years later

and I'm like, this doesn't match up and I'd be in a bad mood for no reason really. It's kind of like, you know, if you used to wank over Pamela Anderson in Baywatch but you meet her now with hepatitis C and old saggy plastic tits feeding Julian Assange

Burger cakes through the embassy kit. She's governed hackers. Yeah, yeah, man. Jesus Christ. But anyway, So the Northman is good Northman is really good Very vicious Now it's weird Because it's marketed

As like This generation's gladiator Okay So it's going for a mainstream appeal Yeah I feel like this They've seen no posters for it They're pushing it

I mean yeah I've seen it around But like I just It's very artsy That's the thing It's an art film With like a 70 Originally a 70 million dollar budget

I think it balloon Because of COVID and all that Oh really Yeah It's over budget It's underperforming And it's great Awesome

Yeah I don't understand, though, how, like, the common man, like, yourself could watch that and, like, enjoy it. What's going on here? Yeah, there's all these dream sequences and weird stuff, and they purposely, like, like, there's so much shit that don't explain, really. Yeah. Well, you know, is it kind of, it's somewhat horror-ish, would you say? No. Not at all, no.

You've ever told you that was lying to you. Probably making fun of you laughing on your back. I was just going by the witch and the lighthouse. Like, the lighthouse is just very weird and. could you not even make an argue that there's like a horror element to the Northman? Zero. The Northman? Yeah. No, it's like an action movie.

Okay. It's like action movie. But there's like weird dream sequences. There is. Sort of like psychological disturbing components to it that one could argue is reminiscent of the horror genre? I mean, if you're really struggling here, yeah. If you're a bloody daft, bent

yeah, yeah, yeah. You think the Northman's a horror film and your favorite band is Chaz and Dave, you Mongolite. Yeah, okay. So I don't know. I haven't seen it,

so I can't even... Maybe there's some bits that are filmed in the dark, so maybe if you don't like that, it's a man with a sword. What I was going for there is because you said it's weird that they're going for a mainstream appeal,

but it's very artsy. But you kind of see with horror, like your man Ari Aster with like midsummer, right? That was like a big mainstream film, but really weird and artsy. So when you get into certain genres, there's a bit of an allowance

for weird. shit, I guess, you know. But what we're not? I'm a plumber. I've got the brain of a plumber and the face of an uglier plumber. But I would recommend seeing a cinema. You should see at some stage four

it's out. Probably won't be in there too long. I watch it on my phone. Yeah, exactly. In black and white. On the floor of the bathroom. I was in the floor of the bathroom there yesterday because what happened is I went down in a staff night. Go on loads of staff nights. We're working now. Yeah, it seems like he's a yeah like one staff night a week

and then I had to go into work the next day and I'm a tour guy so that's like really like hey everyone welcome to the wow you're very looking today guys we're going on a little adventure let's go but I was like dying like so I almost fainted

I had to like grab on things a few times you fall over and grab someone's tits sorry love bit lightheaded there you know yourself emergency support tits but like I want during my break I woke up like I did have time

to eat anything or drink anything I had to go directly to work like I had to get a taxi I felt like I was going to get sick in the taxi Oh, Jesus I was dying and also the taxi driver

He's a white guy Oh, was he giving it all that Well no I normally get like You know non-whites Yes They're good now I like them now Specify

Yeah exactly Yeah On the app It's because of me They have that section Now I specifically Recommended it Well I just mean dubs

That's what I'm trying to avoid Like dub Like no Does one good dub taxi driver He was telling me About all the Star War figures Seriously yeah he was telling me about all of them he's like they're like gold man

they're like gold he's telling me about his funco pops he has he's telling me his son like uh he keeps all his son's like funco pops in the box and stuff like that and he's like he's gonna like it's gonna be worth so much more fucking money will it probably not like but he was getting so excited maybe Star Wars figure is that are they like original

or is it like Jar Jar Jor Binks uh I'm not too sure he got it out of a happy meal in 2001 this is gonna be worth loads it's just a picture he got from the Argus catalog well he was getting like it's fun though for like he was a big like guy

you know a dub guy in his 50s but when you kind of unlocked the little thing they're into it they're like oh my god I love Star Wars it's weird that he saw you and thought this guy will know exactly what I'm on about exactly yeah it's kind of like you know being gay in the 50s you could just sniff it out of each other

oh this guy yeah I'll be meeting him in the bathroom with my Obi-1 an obi action figure. The other way do you still like the ring

on the ear to signify your game. I've got a big wookie on my ear but yeah this taxi driver

I had yesterday chew back more like chew cock or ass maybe anyway yeah he was like

being really aggressive he was like beeping a lot oh yeah he got lost a few times he didn't use

GPS I hate that that pisses me off so much use the GPS it's like because he gets lost

he's driving more you're out of pocket more. Exactly, yeah. That's ridiculous, man. If you, like, the only reason you should not be using the GPS is if you know the entire city at, like, the back of your hand. Yeah. And where they don't, it's infuriating.

And I'm kind of like, yeah, this isn't the right way. There's a shorter way, but I don't want to say it because I feel like sick. So I'm just like, you know, I'm kind of do a thing where, like, I have my hat. I'm trying not to fall asleep, but also keep my eyes closed. Right. What kind of look like, you know, I'm not going to be sick. Right. And then I get to work and it's really bad.

And I get, I'm a trooper, you know. A few times I had to like sit on the ground behind the bar No, what I did a lot, okay, I did this a lot, okay? It's like, I got down to check things all right. I just need to go change your bar. I was like, just like a bottle's okay, on the bottom shelf, okay?

I was just like moving the bottle. Slightly. Yeah, just take it out and take it and put it back in and I'm like leaning on the bottle basically. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just gonna have a little sleep on the bottles. Yeah, you know that's bad when like just bought a bottle is a comfortable.

for his few to lie on like oh god this is so nice i was putting ice cubes on my forehead a lot yes and also i don't know why i was like rubbing my stomach with them as well yeah i think like not not not not not mid tour though you're like like fucking uh what's that movie nine and a half weeks what's that it's a mickey rourke and i think kim basinger but like sorry i keep spitting on you but uh it's like an erotic you know how like after basic instinct there's a big like erotic thriller thing. Yeah. So there's a real like noticeable sex scene and I think it's nine and a half

weeks and yeah it's them too but they're like they're rubbing like ice cubes all along each other's bodies and doing food stuff you know what I mean? What's to me with the animal crackers? Armageddon yeah actually animal crack up or cunt. That's right yeah I forgot about that. There's a lot of food

I've never been to like food based stuff like that no no kind of one time I respect food too much to get involved with women dirty things You smelly, you ruin it You want to put chocolate covered strawberry There's a reason why fruit and fish

Don't go together love All right You hag But anyway So yeah Yeah so I was work I was hung over Yes

During my break I didn't even like Get any food I just went straight to the bathroom And lay down the floor Nice The piss covered floor And the piss was a relief

Just in the disabled jacks While some mongoes taking a shit beside you. Just pull the string. They'll come help you. I'm trying to have a bit of a kip. Actually, there was someone shitting beside me, okay? One of the most guttural shits.

Oh, yeah. Man, literally at one stage, he's like, fuck, fuck. Fucking out. Yeah, I kept going on. I kept going like, has to be finished doing it. It was like, blom, blah, blah. Like, it's long pause. It was like. Like the soundtrack of a Christopher Nolan

movie, like, br. Yeah, I couldn't hear him talking He's got a full-on inception There's a shit inside his shit Yeah, it's actually kind of disturbing in a way Like he was shitting so hard It's horrible to, I hate the sound of other people shitting Yeah

But I love the sound of me doing it Gets me all I record it for myself Like the Amber Heard tapes It's just me going Anyway So yeah, but you got through work I got to, I felt very proud of myself.

And weirdly enough, I pushed through it. Like, a friend of mine was saying that, like, she goes to gym when she hungover, and she goes, and she basically sweats out all the hungoverness. Oh. And I was like, you're a cunt. Yeah. Who is this friend? Get rid of her immediately.

You are not to speak to this person again. A woman? The gym? These are all things I stand against, Brian. What is, I don't like who you've become since you've moved to Dublin. I'm going to become a gay man who goes to the gym. I actually bought shorts there to go to the gym

Wow Yeah You know the problem Do you have anything Shorter than this You know the problem Is Just to finish up

I'll get the shorts a minute Okay Finish up like But I actually felt like I pushed through it Because I had to do Five tours Okay

Yeah So all that energy I had to push Through the hangover Yeah And I'm very proud I didn't shit myself Or get sick or get sick

Or get sick or anything I did a few times Like boom Like that And like a little brown Uh I had a lot like brown spit Brown spit

Yeah Oh Yeah Interesting so I had to like you know like oh anyway

so I think but they're all like nice Germans so they're like just accepted the fact I was like blah

like that so anyway whiskey it's good drink you know yet you're fucked you fucked how you get

on there fritzel what about you yeah so I bought shorts then that's what I was going to get into

yeah but I left a tag on it and Did you go to the gym? No, no, they're just over there, like, the tag's not, like the brown, you know, the security tag? Oh, the security tag? I can't get it off.

They're supposed to take it off. They didn't. Did you steal them? It looks like I did. I paid for it, like. And they didn't take security tag? No, there was a two, two of them were just talking amongst themselves. Yeah, I don't know how you get those off.

They're pretty difficult. I'd probably jimmy it with a knife or something. I was trying, but I don't want to bend all our knives here, but I was messed around with a few things trying to get them off. Someone said burn it off. huh put it under the wheelier car and reverse over it oh should we do that actually after this it's like we're like brainiac it'll just like smash i'm john tickle yeah i don't get that oh was he he was in brainiac yeah yeah and he was in big brother right was he i think so yeah oh maybe that's black guy no it's richard hammond you keep talking i'm gonna look this you look him up

there john tickle yeah he used to that thing things that make you go hmm i think it's i think he was in a it's John Oh he's the black guy I was being a jockey when I said look him up there Yeah that's him yeah he was in Big Brother Okay good

Yes there you go The fourth series of Big Brother So there you go There's some John Tickle knowledge For you all there You have much big brother You have more Big Brother knowledge than me For sure

I mean I just British reality TV especially Yeah I think My sister like did enjoy That sort of stuff But you know not just her they were just kind of like when you were in school

it was just one of those things like there's nothing else on so I think I did watch a lot of big brother early on just out of like a well sometimes they had like hot women in it who'd have their tits out would be pretty good would you see tits? Yeah they show tits in it back in the day you could show like

it'd show them showering and all I remember there's this one doll called Orla and she was from Northern Ireland Blonde doll and she just always had her tits out and they were fake tits as well and she was just like you know And she'd be like talking about it's like They're my babes

I just love them I got them done when I was about 21 I just love them They're great And even like there's a gay man there He was like I mean usually has fine breasts Very attractive

But I have to say All is a rather spectacular Wow that's great She's bringing everyone together Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Those tits were so good Even the queer was like

Give us she go Come on love Give you she go And you bloody Melinch Yeah Oh my God She's right here Is this her there

Yeah That's her. Yeah, that's her. Wow. She's fucking unreal. Yeah. Like, I mean, like, picture me, 15 years old, virgin. Never had my cock touched once. Please. Oh, she kissed the black girl here. Yeah, that was your one, McCosey.

She, like, pretend, she was like, oh, I need to get a fucking pregnancy test because somebody got me up the dove. And then it turns out she was a lion tramp. What? She had big tits, too. Oh, my God. Yeah, again, terrestrial TV. I had nothing else to wank over.

or it was either this or John tickle so you know take your pickle this is great because me and you both listen to the new Matt and Shane episode we're talking with the presidents so we should do that with Big Brother yeah exactly let's go all the way back to season one with nasty Nick oh

there's been some dirty deeds going on here Nick you're doing dirty deeds or whatever Big Brother of season one it was all about slavery okay the emancipation proclamation the new Matt and Shane episode with Louis C.K.

Really fun episode. Really good, yeah. I'd pay for, if Dave was like a mini-series, a podcast there, and it was like, I'd go like $7.99 per episode. That's respectable. Not anything more than that. Per episode? Yeah, it would, yeah.

Wow. That was that good. Plus I've got some cash to splash at the moment. Look at all I'm making here. Look at these. I get pounds. Oh, are they pounds? Yeah, feel these pounds.

Yeah, they're these kind of new notes that you can't rip or burn. And they've got little bit of... You give to homeless people. Yeah, exactly. If you give that to a hobo, it'll burst into flames, and they die. So, you know, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. Danska Bank.

Anyway. This is like Jane Austen's on this one. Yeah, who's this? Who's that old cunt? I don't know. Some bearded. Fucking, uh, what's his name? Sid James.

Brian, what's his name? Bribe Blessed. Yeah, it does look like him. A little bit, yeah. Anyway, look, what were we going to talk about? Let's, okay, look, let's do questions, all right? Okay. So this is for, if you, if you, it's,

it's Brian and James, okay? Yes. But if you missed the live show, we're going to do the questions we did at the live show. Okay. I think going forward, we should do more relationship questions.

I want to get actual couples on the stage. Oh, wow. That's the next thing I want to do, yeah. Interesting, yeah. I want to solve the problems live. Yeah. I like that. And then sexual questions as well, okay?

How big is it love? Yeah. Does he have to, when he puts it in, does he need to slip in a few fingers just for you to wake up? Otherwise, you just wouldn't notice at all, would you?

You cut. Exactly. What's your question? Ah, fuck you. So, we had some questions here, okay, for live show, and we're going to do them here

in case you missed them. Yeah. So these are relationship questions, and again, they all come from a place called Dear Prudence. It's like a website. Are these the same questions?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, so you should know, like... I should, yeah, yeah, go on. Okay. I think a lot of them, though, ended up as like,

well, that's fucked up. Next question. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, so in a live show, we're kind of like, oh, yeah, okay, we couldn't really give our true opinions. Oh, right. But now we can. Nice. Okay, so, my boyfriend is too hot. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That was it. I'm not ugly or anything. He's a 10. I'm a 5. That's a disgrace, by the way. What? A 5 with a 10. We're a vaulting. Well, it's probably a bit more than that.

If the genders were averse, everyone would call the police. Get away from her, you. horrible man. No, please, he's my girlfriend. We're very much in love. No, please. Give me back

my fake leg. I need that. Please. I'm meeting their parents like a... Well, that's basically out of the tree her. Yeah.

So they openly say like, I'm too ugly for him. Who's there? The world? The entire world. Israel and Palestine have come together

to say, no. They are openly surprised when I say we're a couple. Sometimes they ask if this is some kind of cruel joke. All his exes are tens, and it makes me feel insecure about myself. Yeah. What should I do?

Yeah, I mean, again, there's really plastic surgery. Get some fake tits, lip fillers, the whole nine yards. Okay. Like, go for a bank loan. This is good. In a live show, you're like, love yourself. I had to say that, didn't you, you know? But, no, this is what you do, right?

You go to the bank, you ask for the loan. when they say why, show a picture of you and him together and the bank manager be like, yeah, here you go. 20 grand, get that sorted. Big tits, big lips, fake ass, the whole lot. The whole shabang. That's what I'm saying.

Full on like Chloe Kardashian the shit, you know? Just slice and dice till you're halfway fuckable. That would be my honest advice because what else you're going to do? And then tree him like shit. Yeah.

Tree him like shit. Exactly. Yeah. So then he knows his place. Or, here's another idea, right? Some simple arithmetic. Get another five into the equation. So now a 10 is banging two fives.

That evens up. Well, she's probably more than a five. Yeah, probably. She's probably like a seven. Yeah. But he's just so hot, it like diminishes her, you know? Fair enough, yeah, okay. And the other way there's like L.A. 10 and normal 10.

This could be Pierce Prosden's wife. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. There is a huge disparity in hotness between those two, though, I would say... Well, I mean, he's getting older as well, but he's getting more distinguished. Yeah, he's getting, like, sexier as he gets older. You know how I was just really fucking gorgeous.

Now I'm even better. I don't know how I do it. It's amazing. 12-year-olds are creaming overly. It's unbelievable. I can't help myself. Yeah. Okay, you're doing another question, okay?

Please. So, my wife... Sorry, my wife... I've been married to my wife for 15 years. Okay. It was all going well. but now she's become an alcoholic and she keeps embarrassing herself

in public recently she's gone into an argument during a parent-teacher meeting about Black Lives Matter Yes That's so funny An apparent teacher meeting Yeah exactly

Yeah yeah It doesn't specify what side of the vibe she was on I'm trying to not say the same shit Now that I said on the line show I can't even remember what I said Is like I think I said yeah Look he just has

trouble staying inside the lines I don't know why you need to that was the joke I made it's funny when it's in the moment but you know but I'm glad I made you see it again as soon as you put it under the microphone people were like that's not funny doesn't even make sense you fucking idiot recently she got no recently

she started getting drunk and urinating in our bed when I confronted her she threw the soil sheets at me that is hilarious she comes from a family of drinkers yeah so I can't turn to them I'm worried what example is going to set on my 18 year old daughter.

Yeah, and then I think Moran pointed out is like, why is she going to a parent teacher meeting for an 18 year old? Well, it's all probably older daughters as well. No, no.

She didn't say that. Yeah, right, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, man, fucking plastic surgery again. You don't care if she's an alco if she's super fucking hot. You're the daughter?

Get some plastic surgery for her as well. Big tits and bigger tits so you can tell them apart, you know? Spread the welt. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you, maybe you start drinking as well. Get on the sauce. Stop being a fucking buzz kill.

A kill joy. Yeah, it would be a fun couple. Like, if I was into a TV show, like, I love Better Call Saul, okay? Yeah. If I was dating the girl and she didn't watch Better Call Saul, I'd feel, you know, like, you're not trying here. Yeah, exactly.

Same, like, you watch Better Cause All, become an alcoholic. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what, yeah, that's what would be my advice. Get her fake tits and get you a personality transplant, you fucking. loser boring con oh shit

I just told us something go on and now this isn't really we didn't mention this in a live show and it's not really a relationship question per se but I was hearing

about this I want to get your take on this there's a new trend especially with the Uber wealthy you hire a person to test your relationship loyalty oh okay let me try and figure out

what this is before you actually explain it now I heard this on the Pat Kenny show the Pat Kenny show yeah wow So, right, so basically you hire someone really good looking to go and hit on your wife in a bar. Or your partner?

Your partner. Well, I'm just saying, you know. So for you, you're married a woman, but you can't trust her, okay? Yeah, of course not. I mean, she married me already. You mean, you've got to question her moral fiber, her integrity, or sanity. Maybe she's half a spastic and I don't even know. Yeah.

Because her big fake tits distracting me so much. Okay, I'm interesting. your dream now. So, asking a big tits. Yeah, she's drooling on her big fake tinnies and I'm like, this is the one. She's already lubing them up for me to titty fuck.

This is perfect. Who cares if she doesn't know her ABCs? She's the one. Yeah, so I hire, like, I hire some stud muff. I hire you to go and, like, try to bang her. Yeah, I've got like a suit

and a ponytail and their guitar. So I'm... You're the full package. No, I'm like, you're like that one-man band where I got like cymbals on my legs. A big drum on your back An accordion Yeah on the motorbike

And I pull up in In the restaurant So I've driven through the window In my motorbike Yeah but it's basically that like You hire a guy Like me for instance I go up and I kind of start flirting

And you're watching the whole thing Wow Maybe I'm wearing a mic or something like that I mean that's very like And you're an ice cream van outside Flowers by Irene That's very duplicity it is and obviously a lack of trust

and it's I don't know no that that's not okay you can't do that and you know what as a younger more immature man I would have been the kind of you know like nervous snelly insecure

neurotic freak who would do that but now thanks to a beautiful medication I don't feel a thing do whatever you want now I'm daydream believing but no I don't think that's okay I don't think you should do that that's basically yeah so Pat was talking to this woman

okay she's this woman and her whole job is okay is women hire women do it yeah to flutter her husband well then that's totally okay if a woman does it it's fine exactly because that's the world we live in now isn't it but anyway where you can marry women

women are allowed to hire people what the fuck is a socialist nightmare but yeah so a big curvaceous bubbly big tits one I mean okay woman all right judging from my imagination yeah i only heard her voice but my pat pat didn't describe her body you should

have it is weird now when you hear someone with a sexy voice and then they're just an oaf in real life she had a kind of smoky kind of voice oh yeah yeah probably a crackhead hey baby yeah so she goes like so let's say um i'm a woman now okay and you're you're a woman okay so i'm like oh my husband he's got a work conference here yeah and he's going to this bar yeah uh you go meet him there and start flirting okay okay And then report back to me. Right. And then if the man, like, you know, takes the phone number, let's say.

That's a sign right there. And sometimes they don't just stop there. Sometimes they actually run the viewpoint. Very kind of gotcha. Yeah. Oh, as in like, ha-ha. So it's like, you know, Chris Hansen pops that. Exactly.

It's actually one and be like, okay, meet me in room 203, okay, at 7 o'clock. And then the guy shows up and guess who's there? The wife, became me. Oh, nice. A big rolling pin. And curly hair is there. those things in her hair and there's

women used to wear weird stuff didn't they like they have like pickle or shit on their eyes what name yeah exactly

and uh cucumber slices I think it was to like stop wrinkles in your eyelids yeah you can't stop time love all right you can shove a whole

cucumber up your twat you're still an old 33 year old hag disgusting but yeah so the guy showed up and it's like

a woman there and she has to chase him around like Benny Hill and then everyone has a good laugh I presume but yeah I've listened to a lot more Pat Kenny recently Why? It's good to keep my finger on the pulse of Ireland

You know Where are you even listening to The Pat Kenney podcast Really wow There's some great episodes here look There's a talk about turf Yeah Yeah

You know rents going up Oh yeah I know yeah Yeah Pat was talking about that So I hear the plebs Are having a hard time Not being homeless Oh my gosh That's horrible.

In France, you have to put your cats on a leash now. Really? Yeah. Why? Because, uh, I don't know, because they're weird in France. They had the big election there with Marie Le Pen and, uh, Macron. Macron and Le Pen. Yeah, exactly.

And we'll see, like, who hating Muslims the most. Oh, wow. But Macron won in the end. Nice. That's good. But yeah, so they're talking with that. It's very kind of middle class there. A lot of it's about like, you know, like how to garden.

Yeah, see, it's just not really a lifestyle that I'm, custom to this would be a perfect kind of Kenny kind of segment it'd be like oh

Prosecco gardening and it's all about like how Perseco can help you garden more because you feel more free

yeah but but Persecco is just you drink Proseco while the Mexicans

tend to your garden and you're like one one eater you're doing is wrong you're stupid

cuds and it's the worst fucking rose bed I've ever seen in my life I'm really fucking

pinatatat eating cuts look here this pat's going to give you tips on how to get out of debt so that's good just be me i'm really rich wow yeah so i i do enjoy so i get my kind of weird why i like to do okay my schedule let's say if i'm work at 12 i like to get to the place around 11 and then i wander around having an ice cream this in the pat kenny

in the building no no no outside so there's kind of like a garden area oh like a park i mean okay yeah you can go there You can go there, you look at the dogs, look at the asses, you know. I'm licking my ice cream and taking my asses and dogs, okay? I listen to the Pat Kenney. I'm having a great time. It's like bucket and rain and you're just licking an ice cream cone staring at dogs. I'm like, it's just dogging, is it?

Let me give you a raspberry ripple. Let's just see, like, before we do anything else, let's just go into the news real quick. Okay. There's a few things there. So, do you remember I was telling you about the NBA protests? Yeah, fucking animal rights activists showing up The guy owns a chicken farm

Okay, and you have to kill some Because the bird flu Yes Which is what you're supposed to do Yeah, that's like what you're supposed to do Obviously he didn't want to do that He's out of pocket Now there's been three games in a row

Where protesters have jumped onto the court Stupid cons Security needs to up their shit I don't know what the fuck's happening Yeah They're all white women as well So that's probably how they're getting away with it Of course

Yeah, yeah But yeah they just stormed Like they chain themselves to the thing and they super glue their hands of the court. The last one, it was pretty cool to watch. I think I just sent you the video. She jumped up and tried to get on the court and she was immediately tackled.

Oh yeah, the security guard fucking just speared her. I think the security guard was female though, right? Oh, even better than, yeah, girl and girl. That's why I want to see, yeah. But yeah, she full on tackled her. No, respect to that security guard. Yeah, but it's probably still going to happen, like, there's no end point

because, like, you can't bring the chickens back to life, so I don't know what they're protesting against. You know what this should do now? Before you walk in at the gate, at the entrance, all the security, they all just be standing there with big buckets of KFCs, like, take a bite of this, and anyone who refuses doesn't get in. Yeah, they've got security hot dogs. And they have a hot dog, you have to get on your knees, need to hot dog.

Shuck, wish. You ever see that? What was that in Killer Joe? Where he makes her suck on a chicken drumstick that he puts down by his crotch. Yeah. Awesome. Killer Joe is a great film. I haven't watched it a long time

I've seen it once I remember like bringing it up in conversation and so it was like that fucking piece of shit it's the worst film I've ever seen and I was like

oh yeah maybe but what about the chicken drumstick that was great did you have a chicken drumstick that's like demonstrate it right there shook

bitch but I shoved it I did it wrong shoved it in my ass now get it out with your mouth oh oh we'll talk about

fader stew in a minute watch father stew for that though Elon Musk has bought Twitter yes for 44 what was it again?

Billion. Obviously most that's probably just like I have projected this amount so I'll give you this yeah I doubt There's hardly like duffel bags No I don't think

I don't think much of it would be liquid As they say It's all assets Yeah assets and yeah blah blah blah But that can fall apart Like Netflix the moment's having trouble Because they had

Oh really They had projected growth profits Okay And then they had like a small decrease Now people are like Oh shit All those projected profits mean nothing People are jumping out the wind

just because like not everybody is watching i don't know fucking the john win gasey tapes or whatever i don't know well yeah i don't really watch netflix netflix turn a little butter at the moment okay they're really panicking and they've cut back on spending remember they were like saying like we're going to spend six million billion billion trillion dollars per year yeah crazy amount yeah now they have to cut back on that and they're said they're going to crack down on passwords oh really yeah okay looks like you're free ride is over in this gaff, huh? Yeah, yeah.

I was worth it. Are you happy Netflix is crumbling because of you? Well, yeah, so Elon Musk Botwer, what's your take? I mean, a lot of people are like... You have a close ear to the tech ground. I really don't, you know, and I don't do

Twitter much at all, like I just scroll through it occasionally. It's a very horrible place for horrible people. But yeah, what is the... Like, so people are like, we're just going to see an influx of like N words and anti-vax sentiment on Twitter now because Elon Musk's whole thing is, he believes in free speech. And for a democracy to function properly, free speech is imperative. That's what he says.

So, yeah, I guess getting rid of the whole shadow banning thing. He says he wants to also do stuff to like the, he's going to add like an edit button where you can edit your tweets post-tweet or something. like that was it do you say something about fixing the algorithm at all yeah yeah yeah the algorithm's definitely designed to show you the tweets to make you angry yes yeah yeah yeah yeah and i guess he yeah shadow banning which i mean i don't know that's just a word you hear that i know vaguely what means well yeah of course we have fuck in the title no no before that because i put up daniel radical's penis oh that's right yeah yeah yeah we don't okay no you can't you know what i thought i thought it did like shadow banning uh suppresses it

a way that it just doesn't share it to as many people. If I want to find I think it's done now because I think we've passed the limit. We were thinking of a shadow ban for like a month. Okay. Well if I typed in Brian and James F not came up, I put in U, C, K and then it would come up.

Right, okay, yeah. I mean, again, I'm not sure how any of it works really. I mean, yeah. Isn't that seem like a little to hassle though to own Twitter? Yeah, I think he just, he loves being center of attention. Like he loves that everybody's freaking out right now.

There's a lot of people who hate him that I think are really retarded. Yeah. I mean, what do they hate about him specifically? Do you hear him talking about buses ever? No.

It's really funny. Like, he hates public transport. Yeah. And he was like, yeah. Of course, he's a billionaire. Yeah. What billionaire takes the bus? But he was like, yeah,

like we shouldn't have public transport. It's just not feasible. It's not good for anyone. Like, he gets on there and it's probably full of serial killers. what's his alternative then? His car Oh right

Yeah and like the Hey guys everyone Just get a private jet And you can go wherever you want It's great And like the other underground tunnel He was working on Yeah didn't he kind of abandon that though

It's like oh no I'm hosting S&L now So just scrap the whole tunnel thing And Mars He was like I'm gonna be Bobby Moynihan And he got there's like It's me Bobby Moynihan and Chris Red Forget about going to Mars

I've already I'm already in the stratosphere yeah but like i don't see like it doesn't seem a great investment to buy twitter because uh a lot of these websites can just get unpopular a very short amount of time yeah it's always we constantly all the time and then like you know the countries are always like oh you're metadata oh we're putting a new law and like yeah they want to make easier to like sue twitter if someone puts up like libelous information yeah okay so in the same way like you sue a newspaper if they're libel you. Right, yeah.

Twitter's whole thing was, oh, we're just hosting the information, but we're not actually publishing it. Yeah, okay. And in the EU, I think they've changed it now. So in a lot of places, they're either changing it or they're going to change it, where now basically Twitter is the publisher itself.

So they're liable then? Yeah. Holy shit. That's a big game changer, isn't it? Exactly. And I also read something where they were saying, like, let's say Elon Musk free speech, okay, but he just got a deal in China.

Right. What if there's a thing about Wuhan, not what's the Uyghur camps okay yeah and that China the Chinese government is like okay if you don't take stuff like this down yeah have a more Chinese internet where it's very very censored then we won't build more Tesla factories I don't know I don't think they can really uh well to be honest I don't I think Elon Musk will very

happily you know be a hypocrite and contradict himself as so lot you know if it is in any way gonna fuck with his bottom line you know what I mean it's like yeah look free speech is great but i gotta make money of these guys so everyone just chill out i don't know like i don't think he's really um he's not like virtuous or altruistic or anything to be honest it's probably just a good it's another operation for him to siphon funds and funnel and launder money he's a bloody crook yeah any autistic with money is a crook there i said it they're all in on it together now he can buy three gene wilder houses i am so like completely

uneducated and ill-equipped to really take on the breadth of the subject and information to give a legit, half-decent opinion on it. I don't give a fuck that he's bought Twitter. It doesn't affect me at all. Who gives a shit? Whatever, fuck you. That's where

I'm coming at. But what do you think? Imagine you on CNN. You know what? You say that, but I think if I went in CNN and said that, I probably would have reflect what a lot of people's sentiment is. I mean, you know, Elon Musk buys Twitter

Oh fuck My child still needs Fucking chemotherapy How does this affect the world In any conceivable way Who actually gives a fuck Exactly yeah But anyway

Yeah right though There is some people that are treating this This is a new epoch This is our 9-11 Like you know what I mean It's like I can't believe this And then you always got these fucking Tech employees

I think of the worst people ever Like the Twitter employees Like we don't like it here now Twitter's bad now Yeah The multi-coloured ballroom just isn't as fun anymore. I'm like a colourblind dog.

It's all grey now. Fun is dead. Yeah, yeah, okay. You think they have hammocks in a coal mine? You're a mongo. Once you do some railwork, you're useless, con. Fuck you. I've got a meditation room.

Oh, do you? Good, good for you. I've got an incinerator. That's my meditation room. I wore my balls beside an incinerator or we burn the corpses of dogs because I'm a man None of that's true

I've never even seen an incinerator in my life nor have I ever burned a dog corpse That's like your make-a-wish thing I want to go see an incinerator Jim Fix it But again like what's the actual Could you break it down anyway There's not a two break down

Yeah you know what's the actual It's just a guy bought a thing It's just one billionaire Bought a big company From another billionaire Yeah I mean But, like, there's so many people, like, you can mindfully speculate if you want for it's like, yeah, he's probably going to do this and this.

Yeah, I mean, I... Probably not much of a big change. I can't imagine he's going to be very hands-on in terms of the operational thing. Maybe he'll, like, draft up a new terms and conditions thing. Yeah. You know, maybe you'll... Like, Trump will probably get back on. Yeah.

I wonder how that'll affect his... What was his thing again? Truth, social, I think it's called, or social truth or something. I wonder how it'll affect that. Is that up and running? Yeah. It is, yeah. Oh, look at this uncool kid here.

Is Trump's network running? And is everyone respectful of each other? Yeah, I haven't used it. There's so many of these weird, like, sort of fringe social media things. Like, oh, come here for the truth. And then you go on and it's just like, I don't know, just like memes about the Holocaust. It's like, okay.

Yeah, love is pretty sad. Like 43-year-old dads. So I'm like, Yeah, the Jews control the media. Yeah, a lot of these, them just feel like, I'm having a barbecue right now. Take that, cunt. You gotta stop me,

Jew. But yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, I don't know how you can really let any of this shit affect your day, you know what I mean? Yeah, there is, there is people that, like, they work in like,

um, like a shitty minimum wage job. And I'm like, oh, I can't come in today. Elon Musk has bought Twitter. I need to go back to cognitive behavior. behavioral therapy because this is very triggering I'm regressing right now what kind of bad stuff is Elon Musk done

like so he's involved like coal mines or diamond mining that's how his family made their fortune and I think it sort of bleeds into apartheid as well isn't that every single fucking phone company does that yeah like every huge multinational corporation any big oligarch

or family that have a lineage and you know like they're very rich and affluent throughout fucking generations they've all been doing dirty shit Well, let's be honest His biggest crime for all these people Is that like...

What? Is that he's just, he's annoying on purpose on Twitter Yeah And then they get annoyed on it Because he's trying to annoy them Yeah, they take the base Yeah

It's literally like you know And they fret over him Yeah, like what is he doing this And then he's like banging like Amber Hurd Yeah he was by Was he called as a witness in the trial? Not yeah, no Probably won't be like

Probably won't bother getting him involved I don't think he'd even as like I don't care about that. She sucked me off once and it was only okay. She sucked off me and Franco and we loved it. Yeah. He split with his misses though, didn't he? Yeah, crimes, yeah.

And the weird... X-793A. Yeah, whatever that is, yeah. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Even doing that, like, you know what, he was in recently? What? I'll let you finish your point in all. Well, just like how he, like, unironically refers to himself as a minimalist, and he

like sold off all of his houses. And he just does, like, weird, stupid shit just for attention he is like a I'm the eccentric billionaire who does goofy wacky shit like that's his whole stick basically like if he was poor if he was like us I mean okay he just wear a funny

jumper he'd wear like a Ron Swanson jumper and be like huh yeah steak and whiskey that's what I like yeah or like some kind of like you know like street sharks stuff like a street sharks jumpers street sharks were awesome yeah

yeah handle us, can you? What about gargoyles? Remember gargoyles? That shit rocked. But I was going to say he was recently in an episode of Young Sheldon. Is that right? Yeah. As himself? As himself, yeah.

And wasn't he in Rick and Morty as Elon Tusk? Yeah, exactly. S&L. He was in Big Bang Theory too, right, I think. What's I just say? No, you said Young Sheldon, yeah. It was just the spin-up. Oh, you're right, yeah. I think he was in an episode of Bing Bang Theory, maybe. Yeah, that's what I said.

And he was in Iron Man, too. He's an attention seeker. but like, yeah, as is any celebrity, you know? The first time I heard about him, they're all like, this is the real life Iron Man. People are like, it's funny now, the people that are all like, oh, fuck this guy, he's the devil, about, you know,

maybe five years ago, we're like, he's the new hope. He's going to cure the world. Is he still making his neurolink brain chips? Yeah. Yeah, put a fucking chip in my brain. Yeah. Then I can stream episodes of Young Sheldon

to my consciousness. at all times. I can have young Sheldon dreams non-stop. Bazinga in my subconscious. Yes, please. Yeah. I don't know, whatever. Again, this is very much

the common man's take. I just, it's very easy for me to go, fuck that shit, who cares? Because I'm not, I'm uneducated on the subject. You're selling yourself low there. But it's the truth though. That is the truth of it. Because I don't really know,

there are a lot of people that will argue the ramifications. But I think after a while, step out of it and you would have to go it doesn't really matter like you know and you're all idiots for thinking it no one is as super smart and cool as me should we talk with Father Stu then

that's what I've been waiting on okay Father Stu has bought Twitter Mark Walker Hey I bought Twitter What the fuck you're gonna do about it faggot All right hey my son's a queer And a ghost without a priest Hey Korean come here you bitch

That's that's Mark Walbert That is that's him He says those things. Twitter just only just has ads for Walburgers. Which is still going, I looked up. Really? TV show is over, the Walburgers TV show. No, it's not Donnie.

It's like, there's like another... It's Ricky Wahlberg. Ricky Wahlberg. Yeah. He just comes in. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, I don't know why he talks like that. My brother sounds silly for some reason.

They're not from Boston. So fathers do. Fathers do. So based on real story, directed by some guy written by some guy by some guy but starring

you've really yeah you've really done your research starring Waldberg the good one all right

Marky Mark yeah so apparently sunk a little his own money to this because he was inspired by this true

story okay of a god I'll tell you what happens okay yeah yeah yeah so starts off

Mark Wahlberg's a boxer yeah real quick remember the live show and Mars says he hates our movie reviews

yeah yeah that was good I'll tell you no tell you what I'll be honest I only found out by this movie because they were mentioned

on chapel. They mentioned it a few times in chapel and they recently did a review of it. And they really slated the movie because they're like, you know, socialists kind of perverts. They're hip cats. Yeah, yeah. Smoking a vape and sexting 12 year olds as all the cool socialists

like to do. I'm not cool enough. I'm just sexting like a 16 year old like a queer. Yeah, exactly. Would you like to come out only with your parents' permission, of course? Yeah, I'm just striking out, end up fucking a dad by mistake.

Maybe take you a prom, babe, come on. So it starts off, he's a boxer, but very low-level boxer. Just stew guy, okay? Where's from New York? I think he's from like Tennessee or something. He has like a boxing accent for most of the film.

Hey, I'm just a good old boy from the South. What's going on? The South will rise again, motherfucker. I think everyone around again, he has a little twang to it, but apparently it's not very good. I don't think, I don't picture him as an accents guy.

No, I don't think he's like sitting there trying to go through, you know, get every single a little bit of cadence right. Yeah, no. He's more a vibe, you know? Yeah, he's like an essence. It's kind of one of those, like, he's just charismatic enough to pull it off, you know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So he's a boxer. When I say low-level boxing, I mean, like, in a car park, you know. He's a beaten up homeless man. I can't believe they're paying me for this. This is great. And he's like, can I move on to Koreans? They're like, you'll get to that eventually. And work your way up.

Don King. comes in, I've been watching you for a long time, Stu. These Koreans need a listen. So he's winning all these fights. Now, he's very, very good body, okay? It's important later on. Okay, so nice body, nice ripped muscles.

He's meant to be, I think, like 27 in it, okay? What age is Marky Mark now? He's not 27. Is he 50? I think he's 50, yeah. But great body on him, though. He's a damn good looking 50. Yeah. So, then he, the nerd doctor, okay, after

words because he's like headaches. He's like, actually, you've got concussion multiple times. Right. And getting punched in the head is bad. It's Will Smith. Why are you punching old men in car park? Bad for you. Yeah.

From concussion. That's what I was doing there. Come on. Keep up. So he's like, okay, I can't be a boxer anymore. Yeah. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to Hollywood.

Become an actor. Right. Yeah, I'm going to go to L.A. And his mother's like, you can't go there. It's full of gay. and trans people. He's like, shut up, mom.

I'm going to go and become a big star. So it comes a little bit like boogie nights. Okay. Where he's over there. And there's a little hints of other movies.

So he goes there, he's trying to be an actor and they're all kind of like you're too white. They don't say that, but it's kind of like, you know, because he's got like felonies in the past and he's like a real like,

hey, what the fuck? Is this a fucking audition or something? Yeah, okay. No, thank you. We don't like swearing in Hollywood. Oh, what is that a six pack? That's not sexy. Exactly.

Way, why don't I beg. flabby chaback bring James Cadden in here he gets the part oh sorry stew

I catch on the flip side dork and I ride away on my unicycle yeah you weren't expected

that way exactly so oh yeah so like he he can't get any work because it's all

going to other people so he starts working in like a store kind of like the wrestler oh right

cutting meat okay yeah and he gets an audition and it goes well but afterwards the Hollywood producer

who's like my size okay he's like oh yeah um very good audition but do you really want the part

oh what you're gonna do and then he like undoes his zip yes and then Marlberg beats the shit out of him really

yeah exactly yeah I still want I made the point I wish I had it's really funny because the only he was like

on 9-11 I would have done this you know I would have beat up those terrorists yeah that's basically he heard about me too

he's like yeah I would have done this I bet though Marky Mark in real life he's just like he's doing what he wishes he could have done but in real life

he's like hey it's Hollywood kid he had to suck off John C Riley I'm the most powerful man in Hollywood and Ryan's like I'm not a producer I don't know what you're doing this

please stop what are you doing I don't know it's not anyway it's closer yeah No, it wasn't. But all right. So, he's kind of getting okay.

He's getting on okay. He's making a little bit of money because he gets in some commercials and stuff. He beat the shit out of that producer. Yeah. What was there any ramifications? No, he just moved on that. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's how that happens. Exactly. Yeah. But then he gets some commercial jobs doing okay. He meets Latina.

Latina X? And he really wants to bang this Latina. She's like a hot, fed-ass Latina, okay? He's trying to bang, but he's, like, drinking a lot. That's caused his problems. he leaves his car, he uses his license, okay? Oh, because he's D-Y.

You got a D-W-E? Yeah, exactly. But then he wants to bang this Latina and she's like, no, I like church. You must be putting part to my church. He's like, yeah, fucking go to church, yeah, who cares?

So he becomes, he goes to church, he actually likes it. He's like, yo, Jesus is the shit. Hey, this Jesus guy's all right for a Jew. All right. Last Jew I met wanted me to suck his dick. I kicked his fucking ass. But this Jesus guy, he wouldn't let me do that.

It's great. But it's weird because in the film it's almost like he's never even heard of the Bible. He's like, he died for a what? What? What? What? What? What? This bra got knocked up and nobody fucked it? What?

That's crazy. Oh my God. That happened to my cousin. We didn't believe it. Turns out it was Puerto Rican. Whatever. So he's loving it, okay? So things are going really good for him.

Yeah. So he's drinking a lot of still, okay? Good. But now he's got a Latino girlfriend. He's got a new church, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's found Jesus in his life. And he's doing well.

But then one night, he's at the bar, okay? He's drinking, and he's getting a little bit too fucked up, okay? He's like, well, where's my fucking car keys? Where's my, oh, yeah, I don't have a car. Oh, yeah, I've got a motorbike now. Yeah, I'm so fucked up, okay, I remember. Okay. So he's just at the baroket, and then his guy comes up to him.

See if you can see any symbolism here. Beard, long hair. Right, right, okay. It's one of the Beegeys. Yeah, he's like, it's all of them. So he's like, hey there, man, sometimes, the hardest struggle is the one that's coming up

you know believe me I've suffered my fair share of I've bared a few crosses you know and he's like you know I have a tough relationship

of my dad as well yeah he wanted me to move back home if you know what I mean and then finally at the end he's like hey do me a favour don't drive tonight

and Walberg's like who is that asshole right who was that asshole and he asked the bar Bama, like, hey, what was he drinking? The barman was like, water, brother. Ah, water to wine. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. So he's like, well, what the fuck? He doesn't care. So he gets to his motorbike. Crashes? Great crash. Yeah? Great crash.

But, way, he basically gets bucked off, okay? Yeah. Lanz and gets hit by a car. Really? Yeah. Very, very, very fun, yeah. So he wakes up, not a scratch on him. What?

Yeah. Well, I mean, like, no, he's badly hurt. Oh, no, he's horrifically scarred. Yeah, actually, no. I misphrased that. I mean, he's terribly injured. Yeah. But, I mean, like, he recovers from it.

He's not dead. Yeah, but, like, he also can walk and shit. Okay. He's not, like, no brain damage or anything. And he's not, like, no brain damage. No, in at all. He's like, it's a fucking miracle. Yeah.

He decides he's going to become a priest. Okay. Because he had God in his side. He's like, that must have been fucking Jesus. Oh, that was his fucking Jesus guy. Oh, I read about him. All right. So, the Latina's not happy.

She wants to marry this guy. He's like, I can't, can't fuck anymore. Yeah. I'm going to be a priest. So he goes... We could probably do hand stuff, but that's about it. Come on. So he goes to the monastery wherever, okay?

And there's like a nerdy priest, okay? Who's like, I don't think the church will except you. Oh, yeah. Real catty, all right? Right. And there's Malcolm McDowell. Oh, okay, yeah. He's like the head priest.

I don't know what you call. Not like, not the bishop. Cardinal? Maybe a cardinal, yeah. Maybe he is a cardinal above a bishop. I'm not sure of the hierarchy. I'm not too sure I told. They're all pedos, anyway.

He's basically the principal, okay? He's the principal of preschool. the crusty old dean It's kind of like that He's like You have to follow my medes It's like priest Animal Monastery

Yeah And you can fill in the black He climbs up the ladder Oh the little boy Yeah Yeah You know what If that's where your mind went

You get your head out of the gutter And you're a hack You're a hack for thinking That would be funny Yeah We'd think something a bit different You know We'd be like oh

And then he gets his tits out Big Brother so he's like the wacky wild card in preschool so that's from like turn your Bible to page six he's got like you know a penthouse yeah he's the coolest 53 year old priest there like they're all trying to sleep one night he's like ringing the bell be like I fucking love bells yeah oh really I'm practicing my bell ringing that's true yeah I was actually seen he like he's practicing bell ringing was the hustler thing real no I that was made that up, yeah, okay.

Well, the bell ringing so retarded and also the whole Jesus in the bar thing, that's fucking retarded. Like, this movie is really dumb. No, I, I liked it. I like a bit of church in my film

because it's almost illegal at this stage. Like, you see what trying to do with Chris Pratt? Yeah, everyone, I keep here like every six months, people are like, oh, he's cancelled because why? He basically attends a church

that was... That, like, that the priest is a bit anti-gay. A bit conservative. Okay. if you can believe a conservative priest. But like Chris Pratt's not going around spouting homophobic rhetoric and he's working with

In Hollywood Didn't him and Elliot Page have a movie together? Did they? Probably. I don't know. In my fans trip, I thought they did, did they not? Maybe not actually, maybe not. But anyway, was Elliot Page kind of,

there was something? Was Elliot the kind of one who is like... Oh, Elliot was talking shit about it? That's what it was. Sorry, yeah, yeah, okay. page is a big loud mouth. Yeah. Yeah. And poor old Chris Pratt just trying to get by him. Yeah. And doesn't he have a reputation as just being like

a really nice guy? Literally a nicest guy in Hollywood. Yeah. But it's not, I've learned okay, you shouldn't be nice. Being nice gets you nowhere. The important thing to do okay is be very righteous on Twitter and then be a cunt everyone around you. Yes. That's a good person. Okay. Being nice

that's love bombing. That's actually emotional abuse. Being kind. to people and giving money to the homeless, that's economic abuse, which, that's a new thing now, is it? Financial abuse

by giving them money? Okay, good. So, he's loving preschool. He becomes a priest. And he's doing sermons, but he's like, hey, they're trying to give Jesus shit. You know, he doesn't, he's not following word for word. He's kind of ad-libbing,

doing a bit of improv, you know? Exactly, yeah. And... Going off book. And the people, okay, I First, like, harrumph, but then they love it, okay.

Like sister act. Yeah, he's trying to with a white man. He's doing crowd work, you know. So much better. Sister act,

but instead of that boring whooppy, whoopi, wopi, Wuppie Walberg. So he's loving it. He's like doing crowd work and everything.

Yeah. Yeah, he's loving it. But then he's playing basketball with a black guy, he's winning. All right. Of course.

But then he falls down. And he can't get back up. Oh. He's like, what the fuck he goes to a doctor turns out he's got one of the most rarest muscle diseases ever really yeah an incredibly rare muscle disease probably not helped by all the punches of the head and the motorcycle crashes and all that drinking all the bang and the latina yeah that was the worst thing yeah god was okay with everything else but he was like oh no yeah so now he's probably

got like maybe a best five months to live oh shit and he's going to fall apart basically wow yeah his all his muscles are basically going to turn into jelly Jesus jelly and ice cream That's scary Yeah Yeah And so now he's got Like this much time left

And instead of being like a whole Like oh I'm gonna give up to the church And go to Tijuana And you know bang hookers He's like no I'm going to become extra hard Extra hard with my fate Okay Yeah so like he starts to go into prisons a lot

With this other priest But he like tells the prison what they are He's like yeah you know what You're all bullshit You're all worthless pieces of shit Yeah Your mother she hates you Your dad hates it

Your kids they only want to talk to you But you know who does want to talk to you, Jesus. You don't have to you don't have to ask the prison guard for permission to talk to Jesus.

That's good. Yeah. Jesus ain't going to rape you in the shower. So, the rest of the movie then is him like going around

and like basically starts off crutches kind of like hobbling by the end he's kind of dragging himself like he's in South Park okay? Right, right.

And not got like a wheelchair? No, he doesn't take a wheelchair not. Okay. That's for pussy's like he's always falling over as well.

He falls over like nine times. He's like Mr. Bean. Exactly, yeah. And he gets really fat. Okay. Like, incredibly fat. Like, I'll show you a picture of him after.

I'll show you him now, actually, when you talk. It's a real guy, though, is it? Yeah, it's a real guy, yeah. Okay. How long do you live for? He died at age 50. Okay. How long do you live after the diagnosis?

Like five months. Oh, really? Okay, right. So it fell apart real quickly. Yeah. It's crazy how your body can just be like, almost like just give up. That's it. Don't.

I'm sick of it is. He had a pretty sweet life up until the very end. He got Latina and all that. Yeah, and he was probably like, ah, you know, I got Jesus by my side. Look, there he's there. Oh, yeah. Now, did he actually put on the weight?

Yeah, it's a factual weight right there. Oh, really? In the face, you can't fake that. Wow. But I don't know why, I don't think the guy was actually fat. I think Walbrook's just like, I don't want to get, I think some actors kind of like, oh, I can get fat and get paid for it. Yeah, yeah, that'd be pretty.

I mean, he probably hasn't had a carb. it's 1998. Oh yeah. So it's just like he just wanted a subway sandwich so damn bad.

He wanted to play John Goodman in the Roseanne Biopic. That's pretty good though, fair play though. Yeah. So he gets really fat

and then he dies and then everyone's sad but you know God's love. Mel Gibson's in it you say? Mel Gibson plays the dad yeah.

Okay. But he doesn't really do that much. He's just kind of like oh my son I've got a strange relationship but then at the end Mel Gibson's character

goes to rehab because he's learned something he's like if my son can change, so can I. Right, right, right. And it's good. So it's very, very big on the sort of traditional Christian values. Yeah, a few jokes in there as well. Like,

yeah. Like one time it's Lent, okay. And, uh, oh, I don't know why. He's like hanging out with some kids. I think the Latina is a teacher or something like that. Right. I was hanging out with these kids and talking about, you know, giving up shit for Lent. Okay. And, uh, one of the little kids is like, oh, my dad's going to give a porno.

It's like, oh, oh, you know, I'm like, hmm, that's the funny bit there. Oh, I see, right, right, right, okay. Well, that's good. I mean, I guess what I would surmise that what they're trying to do is, like, we're going for a real, like, hard, you know, traditional Christian values,

but we're not going to be all after school special and lame about it. Yeah, they say shit, he's fucking retardant. Yeah, he's going to be drinking, riding motorcycles, banging Latinas. You know, is Christianity... You get the guys like me. For the every man, exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guys like me, I'm now. I'm not reading a fucking book I'm not no pine dexter Yeah I'll get on my motorcycle Yeah But yeah

It's an all right movie I kind of like Christian movies Yeah Something about them I kind of like You kind of have been Dipping your toe into Well apparently it's become

Like a new hipster thing Actually to become like Christian Oh really Yeah all the young ones Become Christian now Like what age Like teens 20s? 1920s

stuff like that Yeah They're all becoming like Christian now Why Because they feel like like they've tried everything else so by time you're 20 now especially the generation that's coming up now

you've like you've had two abortions you've already like gone to rehab a few times yeah I mean like I think when you look at if you're like 19 and you look at the people like who are like my age and a bit older you'd be like I don't want any part of that I don't want like you know they renounced

their faith and just started like finger fucking and taking anti-psychotic meds recreationally and now they're all depressed and weird and smelly on the back of the bus. No, thank you. I'm going to go to Sunday school. I'm going to read my Bible, and

that's it for me. I'm going to watch Fathers do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I can respect that. Apparently, Christianity's making a comeback. Good. It's about darn time. Mel Gibson just rises like a phoenix from the ashes. Yeah. But yeah, it's, it's not the Northman, but it's

good. Yeah. I enjoyed it. I think I enjoyed it more because I heard people make fun at it first, so I got all the of then. Yeah, especially like Chappos, so not so much like they're good

or whatever but when there's that sort of conti, you know, upper middle class New York academic

sentiment who's just like, no, this is fucking stupid and anyone who likes it's an idiot. Yeah, like I don't like

religious people but I way more despise atheists. How Kanty atheists are. Like Ricky Drey is. You need to go out of that stuff like dope you're a dickhead it's very weird to meet like a guy who's like

30 something he's like actually do you know the Bible isn't real yeah yeah are you familiar with Horace the Egyptian god the similarities between the mythology yeah okay so what you're just going to go up to some woman is like hi see you you you don't con who's four year old son

is leukeia he's not going to an afterlife of eternal bliss he's going to rot in the ground and if you think anything else you're a fucking idiot it's like, are you winning from doing that? Do you benefit from that? Like, why is that a victory to you? You know what it's like in a way?

It's like, you know the people who go to like those Renaissance fairs dressed like Star Trek characters? You know what I mean? Have you seen them? No. Oh, that's a big thing, yeah. That is awesome. It's like, yeah, we're going to really fuck with these Renaissance dorks going in dress like fucking. What's that conned called Bobafet?

No, no, like Kirk and Spock and all that. Oh, Star Trek. Sorry, I thought she said Star Wars. No, Star Trek's, they go around. Commander. It really doesn't matter, does it? They walk around, be like, we seem to have transported a different time.

Oh. And then they're, like, mess and they're like, please, please stop doing that because we're trying to do a thing here. Okay. We're trying to have fun in Renaissance Fair and you're ruining everything. Sorry, I do not speak.

I only speak Klinga. That's amazing. That's what they're like. We're all just going to have a fun time here. There's some cuntz walking around. Yeah, it's like, dressed like Sam Harris. Who are they hurting?

Like, whatever, but, you know, of course, like the big institutions and Catholicism with the abuse and all of... Okay. Yeah. It gets our seal of approval about it. Obviously all that's bad, but to actually just harass some woman in a pub, like

your dad who killed himself isn't in heaven, he's in the ground. You dumb cunt, now let me smash. Let me feel the heavies. Is anyone actually saying that? No, but you know, hypothetically. In a better world.

It'd be pretty funny if they were. That's a pretty, uh, the game part two. That's funny, like, someone like, watch, you know, those debates where it's like a priest versus, like, Richard Dawkins? Yeah. And it's like a very, like, serious debate you're talking about, like, you know, is morality inbuilt or is something that is instilled with religion, you know?

Nature versus nurture. All of that, yeah. So watch, it'll be like, oh, I know how to debate now as well, yeah. Air, cunt, Bible, bad, suck, cock. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. so you enjoyed father stew anyway

uh nah not really like i enjoy it because i've watched it for the podcast okay but i didn't have a podcast i'd watch now i'd probably kill myself i probably get on the bike and the liberty try to crash it well yeah is that out or we do with anything else no that's that's the that's the hour there like that's the hour i'd be honest it's been a very hectic week for me i need to slow down i've been going too hectic too hard yeah drinking partying yeah seeing the Northman.

So there's a lot going on. It's too much for you. Hanging out with James Morin. Yeah, he's a bad a bad influence. Exactly.

I don't like what he does to you. Teaching you all about socialism and democracy and women's rights. It's vile. Vile stuff.

Yeah. No, Morn's a good lad. I want to try a Walburger at some stage. Do they have a Walburger's in Dublin? No, around here, no. I'm going to go to America

just for that. Yeah, go to America, just for a wallburger. And I refuse you any else yeah let's say I bring a girl

okay and she said can we do this no I had my wall burger you wanted that I would have

one because you were talking too much on the plane okay yeah

you had a wall salad you cooked that I was like you just watched

harold and Coomor so I'm gonna fly to America to go to white castle

but like all the white castles are in the ghetto and you just get shot

straight away it's it's another white boy watch that Harold cumor shit

let's ride that motherfucker man It wasn't In Europe it wasn't called Go to White Castle It's called Get the Monchies

Yeah I have the DVD Oh I have a mere apprentice You You plebeian brain fool Step into the realm of gods If nobody

Can debate me on Harold and Cooh I'll debate Richard Dawkins On Harold and Kumar Right now I'm very bad I'm like Harold and Kumar White Yeah

Harold and Coomar Those two Mexicans who had a van made out of weed in the 70s. Yeah, that was a Cheech and Chong reference there. Cheech and Chong, my comedy idols. All my comedy's based on Cheech and Chong. Just ethnic stoners.

That's the only comedy I like. I'm going to show tonight. I might show up in a weed van. Hey, man. You guys want to smoke a join, we're going to party, eh? We got smelly pussy, big pussy, little pussy.

BUSHy. Anyway, yeah. Look, that's the show. That's the episode. Thank you all again for coming out to the live show and to the people that didn't. Well, it has been noted. It has been noted. Your absence speaks volumes. I take it as a direct insult to me. What are we going to do for next live show? Let's spitball here for a second before we head off. So the 22nd in Cheney. Yes, in Cheney. Now, Dr. Strange will be out by then? So we can talk with Dr. Strange. Doctor, oh, is it a sequel? Yeah, the Multiverse of Madness. Oh, good, yeah. How many Doctor Strange's has there been? Well, only two. Only two. This is the third one?

No, it's the second one. Well, this will be the second one. Well, this will be the second one. But Dr. Strange shows up in, like, Spider-Man, and the Avengers, stuff like that. Now, let's not blow our whole wad here. We'll save her live show, but is there any else you'd like to do? We'd like to do... What do you think works best live show?

The movies. I thought the movie segment was good. The questions, or the quiz about each other. at the end was good. Yeah, I like the quiz. Yeah. Then we had like at one point, Evan shut it up a suggestion

for a story, which was a really good suggestion. I would like maybe some more audience interaction. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get them a bit rowdier. They were kind of, you know, as they had a few more drinks.

But again, like, it was kind of like it was a small enough crowd where I guess people didn't feel, it's not like you feel anonymous. You could all see each other and make eye contact. That room is bright.

Yes. Sheenay is dark. Yeah, I'm going to make it extra. A dank dark basement And we'll just Will pipe in nitrous oxide Get them all giddy

You know And if it goes wrong Zyclan B There we go Yeah All right Yeah We'll have more of plans

Maybe Maybe you'll do it Like a little play or something Maybe I'll write a scene Oh yeah Like I write like the Brian James movie Okay

And we act it out And gets other people From the crowd to join in Oh you're talking like a big Not just like a one two thing Like a full production I'm talking like basically like the Irishman. Like, clang, clang with the trolley, ding, ding, ding, ding with the bell.

Zing, zing, zing with my heartstrings. Okay, uh, we'll save that for me. Ryan and James go to Taco Bell. Goodbye. Bye.