Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 156 : Doctor Poon Tang

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

Multiverse of Wheel Chair Sex

episode. We're talking about Ryan Gostling fucking a doll. Lars and the real girl.

Lars and the real girl and everyone's like it's such a beautiful movie it's like because it's Ryan Gosling

but if it was Cadden and the real girl and just me going it was Caden and Jim Ballucci banging her together

me and Jim Belushi I feel towering but it's not one of those like real doll ones

it's one of those like 70s blow up doll on a stag party yeah exactly yeah And the face is all weird The eyes a bit crooked

Yeah Anyway, this is the free episode It's been a while I've been working hard You've been to a wedding So I was at a wedding Yeah

I mean I don't really want to talk About the wedding You don't have to I was just saying You're out wedding So you're probably a bit fucked up I was

I got very I was Yeah Like really fucking Heavy drinking Things about weddings That was like Wine with dinner

Then pints Then people get the shots Go on Then you get on the I kind of mixture of a lot of different drinks I was fucking dying not just the Sunday like the Sunday was obviously the immediate

but even yesterday I was like very very low not feeling the best yeah just a lot of I like you're saying I'm laughing like yeah you felt low depressed yeah no I mean it was a nice wedding and all but you know it's just like

ah it's just you know all the people your age there and they're all, you know, getting married, buying houses, having kids. Then the moment you're sitting at the table and they're all dancing, you're watching. Yes, yeah. No, I just stayed out in the smoking area the entire night. Just smoking fives and drinking and just a sort of cavalcade of people moving towards being then away from me.

I just sat in the one position. I'm like, hey, maybe the time we got so fucked up and we fucking jizzed in a bucket and threw it on Romania. awesome and there they're like James please I'm here with my child we're just trying to have a nice evening and celebrate the love of our friend so we did a shit in the

jizz bucket and then went out and found the same Romanian twice in a wrong we got her oh what a smell bag wasn't it great I was a legend wasn't I I wasn't just mentally ill and non-diagnosed I was awesome Yeah

No it was nice A nice wedding I still haven't been to a wedding Yeah I don't like them Next time as a wedding Someone inviting me I think I'd be a good edition Like

Yeah I'd be fun like Imagine me and you Going to wedding together Yeah like wedding crashes Yeah exactly Yeah They were like

You're not meant to be here No we are Yeah We're doing wedding crashers So you gotta show up Cunt all right White dress really I heard you're a whore

would you do you motor motor mom we want the meatloaf now you you cunt or whatever he said in the film you're still money but yeah look it's it was just

you know it's it was very clear that you know people are on a certain path in life that I am not on and there's never a more glaring like here's there was a moment right I had to walk back to the room to grab something

and then when I came back to the venue where the reception is at, they're all having a big group photo right? And only that I sort of, you know, just happened to like come around the corner at a certain time. They're like, oh James, why don't you jump in the photo?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't, they didn't want me in the photo though, didn't they? I just showed up like, hey guys, get I be in the photo. James, Dan, just aside there. I was at the very end and the photographer was like no drinks in the photo, sir so I'd like hide my

Wait, what, the photographer said that? Yeah, what a cunt, well, no, don't be merry here, it's a wedding, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, put down that beverage and could you lose 30 pounds straight away? Pig! I'm like, you are a very unprofessional photographer, madam, but yeah,

no, I was fine, it was a fun wedding. Okay, that sounds good. Well, you're feeling... I was just a big, smelly, sweaty, sad mess. That ghost at the feet. striding it for everyone. Well, you might feel that, okay, but I'm going to cheer you up

with this episode, okay? This is the cheer-up James episode, so I've done lots of work. Sometimes, okay... As are, most of the episodes, I find. It's not working. You're like Patsh Adams. You're like Robin Williams

in Awakening's, and I'm just here like, bleh. Anyway, what are we talking about at this one? This will cheer you up now. Yeah. We've got Dr. Strange 2. Okay.

Good. Good. It's working. Madison Caughthorn. Madison Caughtorn I have not spelled that wrong

His name is Cawthorne And then we have The Inhumans Who are the new X-Men Yes You know X-Men X-Men X-Men for queers

Inhumans Where it's at I could have told you that Yeah exactly If you rocked with that wedding Way Inhumans T-shirt You'd be front of centre

In that wedding picture Just like What a traffic cone On my head Weehear So I think we'll do Madison Caughtorn first

This is very interesting Okay I've heard mention of him A few times But it's the first time actually looked into him and learned the whole secret. Okay. The Madison Cautorn

saga. Saga, yeah. So, Madison Cawthorne, he's 26 years old, he's a good-looking guy, he looks about like Army Hammer. Okay. And he's the youngest Republican congressman ever. Okay. So successful, good-looking, young. Right. I can identify with him already. North Carolina, Republican

Congressman, crippled in a BMX accident when he was 18. sorry that's terrible yeah I knew to cheer you up like hey dude

the Democrats they cut my brakes actually BMX don't have brakes don't they no they have little things on the side

don't they little brakes no I think that's like obviously most bikes have brakes but I think the thing about our BMX is they don't have brakes

oh that's even more extreme yeah exactly it's more extreme oh cool the X stands for BMX I don't think he fell off doing a trick

I think he's just right on the road and just like fell over. Oh, really? I don't think it was like a cool thing. He wasn't doing like triple spin. Yeah, he wasn't like jumping the gorge of Death Valley, was it? No.

No, he was just like cycling down to the shops to get coconut milk. But no, so he got crippled, okay? Yeah. And then he became, uh, went to college. So he's handicapped now. He's no wheelchair. He didn't let that stop him. Okay.

He went to college and he dropped out after a year. Right. It's pretty cool, okay? Yeah. He then became CEO of a real estate company. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. A college dropout cripple who can't ride a bike is now CEO of a real estate company. Exactly. It's a little bit fishy because...

Yeah, I assume his parents are pretty well off. Well, you make your own decision here, okay? He's the sole employee of the company. So he's CEO and also sole employee. And they've only made one transaction. Okay. I'm sorry. But are they... I mean, is this just something that he does from his bed? We don't know. I'm the CEO. Oh.

Okay. We don't know. He's only sold one thing. I think the only house he saw was like for like 500 billion, no a million or something like that, like some big amount, yeah. So it's a bit fishy there. I think his parents do have connections to real estate. I'm going to imagine so, yeah, yeah.

But he was endorsed by Trump. So Trump liked him. He likes his go, you know, go get her attitude, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he campaigned on the message that cartels were forcing children into this sex trade. Okay. I mean, they're not wrong, I suppose. Yeah, okay.

It's not just the cartels, but yeah, they definitely do it too. So one of the big things that cause some controversy near a star of his campaign was he took loads of pictures of him in Hitler's holiday home called the Eagle's Nest. Oh, yeah. And he said, it's like on top of a mountain, right? Exactly, very cool looking, isn't it? Yeah, it looks awesome. And he said that was always on his bucket list to go to the Eagles Nest.

Yeah. Now, would you consider that strange? He's obviously a historian. He's a history buff, you know? He cares about everyone who died during World War II. Just certain people who get all the headlines, okay? You know, it's ironic

because he made a Jewish guy carrying him all the way up to Eagle's nest, saying, can't we just get a helicopter? No, carry me now. So they were getting a shit about it. You know, he tweeted, cry more, Lib. Yeah, exactly.

He was drinking liberal tears like us. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm sorry. Okay, so, but like, what's the actual, he just went to the, surely it's a it's like a historical

artifact or destination you know that's not the only thing he did that's just one of the early things that was like a mild like blip where he's like oh okay shut up okay I like history but then things got worse okay he supported claims of the fraudulent election so he thinks

Trump won instead of Biden stop the steal yeah he encouraged mothers not to raise genderless sexless freaks okay I'm gonna hope you're quoting him there or uh Yeah, that's what he said, yeah, I suppose. I think he says, uh, I don't know.

He calls Zelensky a tug. Okay. Zelensky's a thug. Yeah. All right. During the height of like the Ukraine stuff, you know, like the first week where we all loved Ukraine. Yeah. Now we don't want to give a fuck.

Now we do not care. It's the same as like, you know, whatever, like even a row versus Wade is getting overturned. That happened a week ago. Everyone's bored of it already. I think if 9-11 happened now, we'd be like, oh, what? Are you still talking about that? Yeah, like a week later, it would be like, y'all. A week there, we're like talking with Sidney's Tits again.

I was just thinking Sidney's Tits. Isn't it weird? Oh, Sympatico. The new episode of Barry is out, so that's what I'll hashtag never forget. Yeah. We forget about big events very quickly now. Well, because we're over, basically ODing off information. So we're getting so much info in our heads, we can't handle it.

It used to be you get the news at 6 o'clock. It's like, this is the news. Hello there. The trade unions are angry. and the president... Hello, I'm Ryan Dobson and coming to your life from Sydney, Swedish tits.

Bam, bam, bam. Yeah. So, back to Madison Caughtorn. We're in the juicy stuff now. Okay. He's been accused of sexual harassment and rape multiple times. What?

Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, he's wheeling around his wheelchair. He's grabbing, honking on tits and he's trying to pull him down onto his lap. Okay. The picture of him on nights out, it looks insane.

He is fucked up, man. Really? He's in a wheelchair, he's drooling, he's shirtless, he's ripped, and he's drooling over, and there's like two hot chicks that make Sidney swinging look like a pig, all right? It's a little pig she is. I'm sorry, okay, so yes, he's in a wheelchair, but is he kind of like, is it one of those, like he can't walk, but he still has, like, limited mobility or ability of his legs? No, no, none at all.

It's just all upper strength, upper body strength, he can grab him and pull him down onto the lap. I don't want to say, I'll be careful. choose my words here carefully. Go for it. I mean... It's all safe here, man. You can say what you want. I won't throw you under a busing.

I mean, if you let a guy in a wheelchair rape, I mean... No, not full on. I don't think it's full on rape. It's just like grabbing and honking. And also there was like one girl said, stop honking my tits. He's like, you're a little American slut.

Wow. He's American as well. Let's go to the Eagles next. You know, George Herbert Walker Bush was even well, like, right up until the end, he was just like a fucking zombie mongo in a wheelchair

but he was still grabbing age that's a big problem to have in nursing homes is a lot of the old women as well let's not leave them out okay they're all grabbing and honking and fingering and spitting and fucking sucking

and pissing oh man sounds awesome yeah it's all happening in there and all the nurses it's kind of like just don't make a big deal of it you know right

you ever see Derek just rip them back nobody cares you can literally do whatever you want to those little mongos. You can really punch old people in nursing homes. Yeah. And the only thing every now and again

like something comes out was like, oh, we got a video of a nurse beaten old man. You know how often that happens? You got one time to catch it. A hundred times it don't catch it. I mean, the thing about it, like, the family shipped off the relative into a bit, a fuck bunker

with bad air conditioning. They don't care what happens to them. You could be, I mean, I'm surprised we're not getting like, remember bomb fights, you know? No, like, well, you know, granny fights, baby. I'm just trying to think of a catchy tackle. You know what I mean?

Get the old people to batter each other for money. Get them like all, like inject them with steroids and amphetamines and make them kick the fuck out of each other. There's a chicken in there as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're all throwing money at them. I want to be a good one. Granny fights, I'll work on a name, I'll come back to you.

Anyway, so he's this had... So Madison Crawford. So there's rapes, sexual harassment, and all that. multiple DUIs What? How can he... He's not allowed to drive, is it? He can drive in a wheelchair. Oh, okay.

Yeah, open your mind, man. Expand. Oh, they wring up the pedals with like a hand thing. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Okay, yeah. It sounds difficult, and it's also more difficult when you're fucked up, all right? He's a party animal, man, okay?

So he gets drunk all the time he's getting DUIs. He's awesome. This guy rocks. Multiple times, okay, he's tried to go on to planes with a loaded gun. About three times this has happened. where he tried to sneak a loaded going onto a plane Yeah, he's like Jar Rule in a wheelchair, isn't he? He starred a Let's Go Brandon Crypto Kind

Nice, yeah So like, let's go Brandon's anti- Fuck Joe Biden, yeah, yeah, yeah And it's the big thing that happened this week That'd be causing him some trouble So everything else was like, okay, this is the thing that's been a bit of a stumbling block So a video leaked of him nude

Trusting onto his cousin What? Yeah Male or female? Male. So he's trusted, I've watched the video, okay, He's trusting onto his cousin. The cousin has passed out, okay.

He's going, uh, uh, like that, he's making, like animal noises. Is he doing it in a joking way? He says it was a joke, yeah.

Okay, now you've, you've analyzed a video frame by frame, like this, like the Zabruda fella, you've went through it. I'm in front of the court now. There's a man wanted an umbrella over there.

Me and Wayne Knight. Okay, so, now, do you think it was a joke, or? I think it's a joke, but there has also been accusations of him being very overly familiar

with his cousin. His male cousin? Yeah. They go a lot of trips together and he buys the male cousin lots of like nice things. Was the male cousin naked too? Yeah.

Right. And he's on top of it. The wheelchair is in frame. Who's filming it? His friends. The friends are all filming it and laughing. Wow. Jesus.

And now Trump has come out and says that he's, this is weird. Okay. So Trump has declared this. He's like, his guy's a freak Yeah, okay

So that's Madison quote I thought that wheelchair was a prop I thought he was doing a bit Like carrot top He actually needs it It's sick He's sick So that's Madison Cautorn now

A little bit trouble for him But it seems like his voters And his constituents Still love him Okay They're not going to let the liberal media tear him down So are you picturing

2024 Madison Cautorn Just shirtlisted a wheelchair All fucked up Jizzing on his cousin, grabbing secretary's tits. Yeah, while getting signed in as President of the United States, yeah.

That's good. Anyway, that was the political side of it. Yeah. Now should we go on to the Marvel Minute? Oh, of course. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what much to say, now. This, just wrap it up with Cawthorne, though. Do you think like, you say it's... I don't think it'll affect them whatsoever. You think his constituents, they love them.

They love me more now. Yeah. That's saying that, like, you can do where you want and it's like, the other side won't be gone. So you can stick with me, okay? Yeah. Either let me rape my cousin or the Democrats win. And they'd rather let that happen. I mean, I guess, yeah, Trump did sort of open up the door.

It's like, now let's just go the most ridiculous. Basically, let's get a big, full-on irony bro in there. You know, let's get 4chan in the White House. Yeah, exactly. You know, that little freak. No, I shouldn't say freak. It's a bit mean. You know, the guy who's like kind of severely...

Oh, that little, yeah, bean in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. that he'll be running yeah yeah weble wobble we have fun yeah

anyway let's go in Marvel a minute this is the free one is it it's the free one yeah oh I don't even care anymore you know what

it's all coming to an end for me that's what I that's what I really well hang on for 40 minutes okay because we're talking about the in humans

do you want to in humans first to Dr. Strange you know in humans first oh okay why did you even ask

okay so let me give you a bit of backstory. Yeah, go on. So Disney own almost all of Marvel, but not all. Right. So they sold Spider-Man to Sony. Yeah. And X-Men to Fox. Okay. Then, okay, Sony, Disney bought Fox, so now that's done in Vives matter now. Okay. Disney owns Fox now. Okay, yeah. But before the... But the X-Men have never really been included in the whole like Avengers Marvel thing. Because they're owned by Fox. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, things are changing now. We're getting to that a minute. Okay, all right. Hold your tongue. What am I even? Yeah, okay. But in 2018, Disney were like, we want our own X-Men. Okay. Let's bring out something and we'll make them bigger than the X-Men, in humans.

Yes. So they really pushed this. They were talking about this is going to be like a cinematic event. It's going to be a full-on movie and it will go directly into a TV show then. That was the original plan. Oh, okay. It's going to be a full-on, like, probably a hundred million dollar budget. And it's going to be massive.

Every episode of the TV show will probably be like, 200 million It's going to be bigger than Game of Thrones Right Everyone who makes Game of Thrones They're all going To do Subuku

On themselves Like what is that Harry Carrey They're all going to kill themselves in humans Okay So in humans It's going to be a big thing

And then It kind of got a bit Watered down down when they looked to the budget So yeah No I know there was a TV show

Did they ever do The movie? No Just the TV show What it is This show The pilot In some cinemas

Okay And that's what I was Doesn't really count Does it? No I mean You know Just because

I watch a TV show on my phone in a cinema doesn't mean it's a theatrical release, you know. Now, you showed me a little trailer of the Inhumans downstairs. Inhumans created by Jack Kirby and Stanley. Okay. But they shot

it with IMAX cameras. IMAX cameras, yeah. Okay. So it's going to be big. It's expensive. That's a lot of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if this is ABC, okay, so they splashed a little bit of cash and not all of it, okay, but they definitely splashed more than usual on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So should we

get into who the inhumans are. Please. So the inhumans are better than us. They're better than humans. You've drank the Kool-Aid, haven't you? So there are more advanced society, and they decided to go live on the moon. They live on the moon.

They live on the moon, and they have a caste system because they're more advanced than us. Okay. Now, what about the Nazi moon base? Is that still there? That's up there as well, and they have fun adventures. Good. So it's a royal family.

Right. So the way it works is just inhumans. Well, no, I'll start off again Kind of like the X-Men When you're a teenager You become a mutant Yeah, you start to show signs And then your family are like

Get out of here, freak Yeah, and it's a metaphor For being gay or some shit, okay? No, it's not, you're weird for thinking of that Because gay's pop claws out of a fist Or if a gay it touches you It drains you of all your energy Like, ah!

Who is that rogue? She was all so sexy, man I love the accent, yeah Oh my God, yeah Because again, like I loved all the animated shows and I was good, and Rogue was always very sexy. Very, very, very... Saltery, I think you'd say, smouldering.

She's just, imagine getting a blowy from her. It's like, ah, it just drains out all your energy, but it's great, anyway. It's worth it. Back to the inhumans. So, the way the inhumans work is, you're normal when you're born. Yeah. And then when you're like 11... You watch too much MTV, and then, okay, when you're 11...

When you're 11, you get sent to the Terrigan mists. So the Terrigan mists are these things, okay on the moon. It's a mist and they send all the younglings to it, all 11 year olds and you get exposed to the mist and that reveals your true power. Okay. So let's say you're James Caden, okay? You're 11 years old

you get sent to the mist. Yeah. You could walk into the mist, you come out with wings. Oh. And you're like, oh, awesome. I'm just eating a bucket of chicken wave. My superpower is no matter how much I eat, I'm never full. I'm always hungry.

And always depressed. Like the Hulk. That's my secret. I'm always hungry. That's my superpower. Well, it's a risk, though. You can get something cool, like wings or like maybe like fire powers or laser eyes or you can turn into a wall. A wall? A wall.

That happened to one kid, yeah. He's a big wall. He's got a face there like, help me. Literally in the show he's like that. He's like, I'm by my wall. And he can't move properly. Wow. So it's a risk.

But if you come in, if you go into the mist and you come out normal, you're sent to the slave camps Oh, if you come And you have no power You're a failure, yeah You're sent to the slave camps Yeah, yeah And you live below the city then

It's a mandatory thing then Mandatory, yeah Every 11 year old has to go through the mist Yeah, exactly Does any parents try to like You haven't got to that in show yeah I think they do yeah But then the royal family

The Royal Guard hunt you down Yeah yeah These are the heroes by the way The Royal family are the heroes Right With the 11 year old slaves And the one that turned into a wall That's a real thing

He's a big wall It looks pretty silly What is he to He just lies there Like help me Do you even like Use it for a children's hospital Or something

No just They can't even kill him Because he's a wall Like Okay So let me introduce you To the members Of the inhuman royal family

First of all Black Bolt He is the king Black Bolt Bolt Okay His power is He can

His voice Okay Can knock down a mountain If he talks this kind of sonic shams you bit about the bloody wife at you when she's giving it a lot and then I fucking

fuck you and I just keep putter and then I pretend I'm a wall when the police come round and they're like Mr. Cat and you've assaulted you're on now I'm a wall I went through the fucking mist

or whatever the fuck and down I'm a big wall you've no powers go and go to the slave world you okay so So, Blackball, he's got super voice. Yeah. So he can knock over, like, ah, like that.

And, like, if you're standing in front of him, you get destroyed. Right. Okay. Next up, Medusa, that's the queen. Okay. Now, Medusa has hair powers. Yeah, it was, like, as in Medusa from Greek mythology, hairs or snakes, and if you turn around and look at her...

You turn into stone. Well, this one doesn't have... That would be more cool if our hair with snakes. It's just hair, and her hair can do things. Like what? Uh, it can pick up a pen. Or it could punch you. okay oh okay

now is her hair is it its own sentient being or does she control it entirely she controls it yeah right so a hair

could just like grab things or yeah the hair could be a hand job oh I was just thinking that because the hair

jerk you off and then she shoves a she shows her ponytail up your age yeah that could be a thing it's not on the show it's Stanley didn't

envision that yeah yeah next up Gorgon Gorgon's a black guy with horse feet so he's got hooves but he's got real strong feet so he can like stamp on the ground and you'll fall

over because you feel dizzy oh that's his power yeah exactly yeah Jesus that's terrible this one's pretty cool I was like this one Carnack he can see the fault in all things oh yeah that's me I am Carnag

so he can watch a movie and notice the problem straight away he can look at a gun and notice like how to you know disarm the gun right so you can just find the yeah okay that's interesting yeah that's pretty cool yeah They don't really do much with him in the show. Like, he can't be in a relationship. Yeah, exactly, because he can see how bad it's going to go.

Yeah, no matter who he's way, he always sees the fault in you. And can he not just, I don't know, drink? Just keep drinking until you don't notice the problems anymore. No, he knows what's wrong with drinking as well. It ruins everything. Oh, my God. People are like, oh, it's bad for you. Only Carnac can tell.

You know what, Carnac. Funnily enough, we can all see the problem with you, you buzzkill. Can't. coming in here Oh you shouldn't need so much port because you do the sulphates Get the fuck out of my gaff now You can't

Yeah, Carnack is shit crackling Yeah man Nobody wants him at the gaff party Next up Maximus He's smart Oh Yeah And then Lockjaw

He's a dog that teleports Good Yeah That's the whole gang here So I'm sorry Animals can be Superheroes too Oh yeah

Yeah They have dogs on it And the good dogs Turn the powers The bad dogs They're slave dogs Okay So the plot

Basically the main plot We won't do too long on this Okay I can sense You're not liking it The main plot is The Maximus is the guy From Misfits

And Game of Thrones Yeah Yeah His name's like Iwei Rauway or something like Yeah He's Welsh

But he's a very good actor It's like Iwan Roha It's terrible name So he's He's Maximus The smart guy

He's annoyed Because all the other ones Have cool powers He just has like Intellect He's just a buckworm Yeah So he just

he causes a coup and he storms the moon city then and takes over and kicks all the royal family out. Storgs the capital and he kicks all

the moon family out and he makes them live in Hawaii. Hawaii? Yeah. Why Hawaii? Because it's sheep to film there. Oh,

okay. So they all have to live in Hawaii now and they go out to wacky adventures like they don't know how ATMs work so they're like, hello, I'm the queen,

make money come out now. So was he the bad guy then? Yeah, because he doesn't like the in humans. Right, okay. So he kicks them all off and makes them live

on Earth, then he lives on the moon then with all the slaves. And they all just have to get like an apartment to 9 to 5 jobs. Exactly, yeah. It's pretty funny stuff like, let's say Black Bolt, okay, he goes to a clothes shop and he just takes the clothes. There's no like you're not supposed to pay for that.

Isn't there a movie like that with Gary Shandling? Yeah, it's basically Gary Shandling, yeah. What was that movie? It's something like Earth Girls are easy. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I think that's what it was called. Yeah, and he's an alienist to go to Earth to date a woman.

Yeah, so he's like trying to find the, yeah, anyway, whatever. Yeah, so that's basically the plot then is them just hanging out and a bit of a sitcom really. So, it failed then. It failed. It got cancelled straight away.

It became very, very boring. Because even freaks like you were like, this shit. Yeah, it became very, very boring and very obvious that they splashed all their wad, okay, in the first episode, the first episode we see all the alien plans, stuff like that.

The moon base. Episode two is a bottle episode. They're just in a bus station. How, don't. a bus work. Homelessness? What is homelessness? No, honestly, you know, Medusa's hair, that cost a lot of money, so Maximus shaves her head

the first episode. Oh, wow. And the next episode he's on a bus full of fat American tourists, and she's like, where am I? They're like, they're kind of like, you know, Bond's friend in the movie, you know, Bond had like that fat American friend, James Bond. Yeah, you know, you had that fat American friend, this kind of sheriff. Oh, you're talking about like the Roger Moore

one? Yeah, exactly, yeah. They're kind of like a load of them. You know there's been like 50 Bonn movie, that moment that no yeah okay keep up alright so that was it then

okay I don't like it yeah no it sounds awful I'm glad it got cancelled yeah it wasn't what they were setting up they were saying it's gonna be next X-Men your man

Iwan Rohan or whatever the fuck he hasn't done much he's had some bad career moves and it's a shame because he's a very good actor he's like

very fun yeah great in Game of Thrones and misfits as well and the dirt that's all but he hasn't been anything in a while yeah probably

probably strung out on heroin. To be honest, the dirt was a, yeah, that was a big commercial and critical failure. It was terrible. Machine Gun Kelly, can't act. He's awful. Is he in it? He's in it, yeah. He plays Tommy Lee, the drummer. Oh, fuck, I forgot about that. He sucks.

He's awful. He completely got wiped down my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's not good. Anyway, let's go to Dr. Strange 2 now. Okay. So I, listen to this, listeners. I offer James a chance to go see Dr. Strange 2 with me. And you turn me down? Yeah, why did I turn you down again apart from the obvious?

money probably and time and interest and lack of it yeah okay so all of the rational things I thought it'd be good to get your take on this for the podcast well I'll just describe it yeah so you're still going to see it anyway basically hey don't don't mess with the winning formula this is what the people love I suppose yeah this is what Evan loves yeah so

now a lot of people loved this movie I thought it was good a little bit maybe it could have done with a little bit of simplifying I think okay but overall I think too long as well a little bit cerebral for you, was it? A little bit too loud I felt like. Okay. Can we have bright colors. Yeah. And noises. I don't

like the cinema anymore because it's too loud. It is. It's a genuine criticism. There's a lot of loud people in a cinema and also, man, there's some disgusting ones. I went to the one in Santry. Well, yeah. Real disgusting people. Real heifers, were there? Man, there was one guy there, I swear to God,

I thought he was going to die. He was in the bathroom, okay, at the urinal, and he was like, he had his head against the wall, and he's going and he had a big belly on him so he was trying to get his cock from under his belly and he had sweatpants and sweatpants are going down too low Oh wow

He had that Preston Lacey ass crack That went halfway up his back It was basically like if Preston Lacey was unfit If Preston Lacey wasn't the sexy piece of ass So how heavy was this guy Real big yeah But not like you always some people are heavy but the weight kind of like has been

looks right on them this looks like he was pregnant like okay so like skinny fat but really fat okay interesting really hard to look at like just look at like wouldn't be so much better

just put a gun back his head and just fired two rounds yeah just fixed everything yeah and I was you probably shouldn't have said

all this to him that's why he was crying yeah exactly he thought he was crying because he's like oh it's probably existential no it's because you were saying all this to him

I was just excited from Dr. strange you got excited anyway look dr strange start off this start off immediately the action yeah so it's dr strange on the run for a big monster oh of course with a latina girl oh a latina girl he's like 15 okay they're running from ice hey they ask me oh dr strange no i do not have my papers so they're in a parallel dimension trying to get the book of versanti okay what's the book of frashanti we don't know yet we don't know so they're on the run okay like oh but guys about to get us

They tincter got the book, but then Dr. Strange is killed. Oh. Stabbed, okay? You're like, what the fuck? Yeah. All right. Then the girl's like, no! She opens a portal to another dimension, jumps through it.

Dr. Strange wakes up. Oh. It was a dream. Oh, I see. Okay, he's like, wow. No, what's his thing again? He's a magician. He's a magician.

Yeah. Like Penn and Teller. Well, actually, Sosser Supreme, to give me the exact title. And he can do anything. Travel. Oh, anything. Yeah, yeah. Literally anything.

Yeah, that's good. He turns... Yeah, you wouldn't want to make it too difficult for the riders, would you? He can turn red wine into white wine. And fly around and stuff like that. He can't travel through dimensions and... He can't do that. He can't do that?

No, not yet anyway. We'll get to that in a minute. What about time travel in his own dimension? He used to be able to time travel, but he lost the time stone. He lost the time stone. Yeah. He had to give the time stone up to kill Tanos. Okay.

But you don't know about this, actually. You know about the whole time jump? No. So in the Avengers movie, they jumped five years ahead. So some people stayed. Four got fat. Yeah, exactly. So some people stayed and they lived through five years and some people vanished and came back five years later.

So it's all kind of fucked up. Right. So some people are in high school even though they're like five years old than everyone else. Right. And what about consent then? What about age of consent? Well, we all addressed that in the Spider-Man movie. No, of course not well.

You know how it is in Holly Weird. Pido Wood which is not a good name not very catchy is it still works like so Dr. Strange is depressed because he's had bad dreams and he's got to go to a wedding

so Rachel McAdams Oh I know what we feel Yeah This is this They didn't let Dr. Strange In the group photo either Now yeah I'm Dr. Strange

But no powers Just like I'm just a freak But you have a cape as well You want Around your face like that Oh yeah So he has to go to

the wedding, okay, it's very awkward because he was dating Rachel McAdams, but they broke up because he was too busy being a wizard. And now it's her wedding? Yeah, and she's dating a big black guy. Okay. Big, sexy black guy. And Dr. Strange is all depressed about this, so he kind of hangs out by the side drinking.

Everyone else is dancing and having fun. Dr. Strange just stares down his drink and tinks about what could have been if I had the time store. Oh, yes. So, but then... I'd go back to the Jim Crow era. really get my revenge

yeah so um and then it turns out that John Wilkes booth was actually Dr. Strange like I can't let it happen he's got a fuck Rachel Mac Adams 1776

sorry that's fun that's fun that's an old sketch for us and no one else that's my TV all the way you know it so he's sad he's an awkward moment Rachel McAdam he's like

oh you know hope you're doing well hope you're happy and he's like yeah of course I'm happy you know he's like that you know does he actually start crying

no he doesn't but he's like he looks off the distance you know a little bit sad all right but then thankfully something breaks up

the awkwardness a big monster attack in New York there's a big squid looking monster okay running around the place Kutulu

it's like Kutulu yeah I think it's called Yogos Yagos yes but it's based on Gatulu

not joking yeah I wouldn't joke with that no I know Yeah, I know. So, Yogos is running around town looking for something or someone. Mm-hmm. So it turns out it's Chavez, the Spanish, Latin girl.

Okay. She's Spanish. Right. Her name's America Chavez. In the show, in the thing or in real life? In the movie, she's America Chavez. America Chavez. Yeah.

I am looking for the doctor's train. And she's boy. Good. Okay, yeah. So America's boy now. Yeah. America's Latinx spy. Yeah.

you got to deal with that. So the monster, Yagos is looking around, then Dr. Strange shows up, almost gets defeated by Yagos. But then Wong shows up. Wong is his friends. Benedict Wong, I believe.

Oh, really? Wong's very good in this. From 15 stories high. Exactly, yeah. He's great in this. I love Wong. So Wong is like, he was originally a friend,

no, I think he was like a kind of like a rival in a way to Dr. Strange, now to become good friends. They have a lot of banter together. Is he a superhero too? He is. He's a sorcerer supreme as well.

Oh, right. So they both do magic. Rabbits out of the hats kind of thing? Everything, okay? Do they have a Vegas residency? No, they don't want... Oh, well then, they're not real magicians. Yeah, you're not real magicians unless the tiger bite someone.

So, uh, they defeat Yagos, all right? And they talk to America Chavez. Turns out, she's the power to travel to universes. Okay. Okay. And they don't believe her, then they show her, they show, um, she shows them the body of the dead Doctor Strange. Oh, so it wasn't a dream.

it wasn't. Turns out if you ever heard of a dream that's a window into a parallel universe. Oh, interesting. So every dream you've had is actually you they call it dream walking. Well, yeah. So you had a dream about you being naked and getting raped

that happened. Oh, I knew it. I knew it. Right. Well, any dream you had, it's happened. Isn't that what astral projection is? They talk about astral projection is like, yeah, you can actually transcend the material world and

float through the ethereal consciousness of the universe and visit any time or place or dimension. Yeah. You can go to any place or any way or. Yeah. Or any who. You know? So it's very fun. That's cool.

So, America Chavez, that's cool power, right? She can punch, literally punch to her universes. So she goes, ah, like that, punches, only when she's really afraid. She can't control her powers. Okay. So she says that demons have been chasing her all throughout the multiverse. Right

Someone's been sending demons To get her Because they want to get her powers Because in the wrong hands Those powers Would be very dangerous Yeah Yeah

You'd never have to bear Your TV license Yeah Just jump into another Dimension It's like Ha ha We go to a parallel

The universe Where there is no TV license That's ridiculous Yeah That's crazy Yeah That's mental

Come on now Not even The Twilight Zone So Something like that So Dr Strange is like Hmm

This sounds like Kind of witchcraft My friend The Scarlet witch could help me here so I shall go meet her Scarlet Witch is Wanda played by Elizabeth Olson

Oh right, okay So he goes to meet Scarlet Witch And he's like, when you help me there You have to help me look after this girl And Scarlet Witch says, even if you can't point out what I'm doing here, Dr. Strange says Help me look after this girl And Scarlet Witch says, yes

I'll help you look after America Ah What happened there? Uh I don't know fucking some beaner broad was yet

no yeah I get it I got it what do they call that symbolism yes so Dr. Strange didn't say the name

America Chavez Scarlet Witchroy knew the name so we find out then she meets in the demons she wants to get America Chavez the powers

oh right I thought well I just thought I'll help you look after America you know it's like America no no it's not like that

no very retarded to be honest. That was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, in fairness, this is all very retarded. It is not. And you are so excited about it. This follows a very strict logic, okay? Does it?

Now, magic is like a science in a way, there's a periodic table and everything. It's not just people making up stuff in the writing the script, all right? Yeah, okay. So, it turns out Wanda wants to get America Chavez's powers, okay? Wanda's the bad guy.

The Scarlet Witch. Elizabeth Olson. I thought she was a good... I thought Wanda Vision was the good guy. No, of course. In that, she made imaginary children. Oh, yeah? So she can control reality, all right?

Oh, right, yeah. But her children disappeared. Nura. Malcolm in the middle episode of Wanda Vision. There was, yeah. You know what I always wondered about that show is, um, you know, the guy was his name. Boomer, wasn't it?

Boomer, Harris was that his name? The creator? Yeah, that was a good show. Yeah. it was good anyway back to this alright let me

I'm building to something here so Christopher Masterson brother of Danny Masterson

the 90s show revival it's coming soon yeah but yeah did the whole cast coming back oh

anyway so I'm going on power through this I just I just like to see How annoyed you get. So one, because it's very important,

okay. Oh, okay. So Wanda wants to get her power so she can get her kids back because her kids don't exist. She imagines some children

and she wants to go to a parallel universe where she has real children. Okay. You didn't take any Adderall before you give over here. No, I'm just high off strain.

This is all pure you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Elizabeth Olsen says, I'll give you 24 hours to give me America Chavez. Okay. Dr. Strange's like,

no way, Jose. You're not getting the kid. Okay, that's a young little Latino bitch, all right? she's mine, right? And she's like, okay, I guess it's war.

Ah. So Dr. Strange goes to Wizard School, okay? Just like a wizard school in the mountains. Like Hogwarts? Yeah, it's kind of like, but it's a minotaur.

Okay. Okay. And then... Yeah, the whole shebang, okay? But then Wanda attacks, the Wizard School, and it's a big fight, those explosions,

and then America Chavez, Dr. Strange, escape into a parallel universe. They go to a parallel universe where everything's green. Okay. So it's New York, because those are green everywhere.

And red lights mean green. So, sorry, green lights and red lights are interchangeable. What? Yeah. So, you know, when you're walking across the street? Yeah. Red means go. Okay.

So what light means stop, then? Green. Oh. Yeah. And they sell pizza balls there. When you say everything's green, you mean the people are green? No, there's plants everywhere. It should have.

Yeah, you should have. Yeah. You know that you've seen this movie and I haven't. So I don't, I can't see the thing inside your, you know, All those little moving pictures in your mind's eyes. Your little pineal gland is having a wail of a time. But I haven't seen your little Dr. Strange. Well, they've got pizza balls as well.

That's cool, isn't it? And Bruce Campbell sells some pizza balls. You know you can get those here. I get you some pizza balls right now. Tell you? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was like a funny Doctor Strange thing. No, I'm pretty sure.

You can get like little, they're like dough balls with the pepperoni and sauce. They're very nice. Okay. Anyway, go on. Well, I'll speed through this, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they have to go to meet their Doctor Strange, Dr. Strange, this universe.

Oh, right. But it turns out that Dr. Strange is dead. Oh, from the dream that was actually like a... That's a different Doctor Strange again. Oh, is it? Yeah, there's multiple Doctor Strange. Okay, they're all dead, except for the one, because, I mean, you couldn't be paying a mat salary three times, you know?

Okay, yeah. So they meet the Illuminati then. What? Do you meet the Illuminati? The actual Illuminati? The Illuminati, yes. Guess who's in the Illuminati? I won't, I won't make a guess, obviously.

So in the Illuminati. So, Lumini are in control of the multiverse. David pointed themselves as the secret leaders... Enter dimensional paedophile vampires, traveling through the universe, Joe Woken. Alex Jones was right. They're pulling the strings of the whole thing, okay? Yes.

And they don't want anyone like Dr. Strange or America Chavez run around and mucking up the works, okay? Of course not. America Chavez, she's a loose cannon. She's young, got powers, you know, best. seen you do put her down like a dog

yes yes so what they do so oh sir put her in the FEMA camps

yeah but multiversal FEMA camps so it's cooler so the lumina

are made up of um carol Mordo he's a twigial edge of the fort

okay he's a wizard okay captain Carter she's a woman she's basically captain Britain

okay Captain Marvel but a black captain Marvel not Elizabeth not Brie Olson okay

uh you like this now black bolt from inhumans yeah he's there wow so that's why i mentioned it it's not all gibberish like oh right okay so black bolt's there yeah yeah who is him again now who played him

some guy like an sol something like okay uh i don't know uh mr fantastic's there good from the fantastic four played by jim from the office don't like him well he's there okay don't like them and then listen this okay they're like okay and our final member and it goes Dill and D-L-D-D-D-LIN-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-E-X, man. And then Professor X shows up in the yellow wheelchair.

Patrick Stewart? Yeah, in the yellow wheelchair. Oh, wow. Yeah. And he's like, welcome, we're in the Luminati. We must kill you, Dr. Strange. For meddling with time and space. They're all bad guys.

They're all bad guys, yeah. Oh, okay. So it's pretty cool, isn't it? Yeah, okay. So it doesn't matter, you know, what you bought into it previously, because it all changes at the drop of a hat. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the contempt to these Hollywood screenwriters have for you, Brian. I love it. And you love it. They're pissing in my face. I'm like, yes, daddy. Yes, daddy, more.

Thank you, sir. May I have another. So, and this is all secret, by the way. We didn't know about this. Yeah. So it's all very hush, hush. We could probably get killed just for saying it, you know?

So, they're like, we must defeat you, Dr. Strange. You're the real enemy. And Dr. Strange is like, no. The Scarlet Witch is the real enemy. And they're like, no, you fool. It's you. But they don't know.

Scarlet Witch is a real enemy. is a dark hold. The dark hole is a magic book that gives the possessor magic dark powers. Okay. So now she's got

dark hold powers. She got black magic. Right. So then she shows up and she kills Illumni. All of them? Okay. I say this and this a lot,

all right? So at BlackBolt they're like, BlackBull can kill you it but just by speaking. She's like, yeah, we want mouth.

Black Bull has no mouth. So BlackBard goes, like that, blows the back of his head off. Ah, because his own voice. Yeah. Oh, right. Okay.

Mr. Fantastic. She rips him apart. and his head blows up. Okay. Captain Carter gets cut in half. Yeah. Very violent this, isn't it?

It is violent, yeah. You know, Professor X? Get basically his head ripped off. Push them down the stairs. Yeah. Good. There's a bit leaked video of Professor X hump and his cousin.

No, she like basically rips his neck off. Okay. Yeah, very scary stuff. Yeah. People in the cinema screaming. Really? Yeah.

And not like, oh my God, I'm so scared. Oh, my Lord. They don't rip his head off. No, they're kind of like, Oh, oh. Oh, I can't believe I screamed at that

and they all laughed together and I was over his side and like, you fuck, he was funny, do you? Professor X just died. Do you realize

the application that's as for the Marvel universe? He was a metaphor for fucking MLK and you're laughing at that, yeah. Okay.

So then one that kills them all, Professor X goes to, no, Dr. Strange goes to a different universe he means a dark, evil Dr. Strange, okay?

Then Dr. Strange is a dark cold powers. Okay. And then that, Rachel McAdams shows up again as a scientist She's got a nice arse on her She's very attractive lady I'll tell you she bends

She's wearing like a jumpsuit in it Yeah Very nice arse Okay I think a few people in cinema Like commies on it Okay She bent down once a year

She'd get like a gun or something Yeah And it was all there Oh four lads Look at the fucking hoop on that Yeah So then Dr Strange uses a dark hold

But that corrupts every wizard But Dr Strange has to take the risk So then he goes to Mount Wendigo That's a Mount Windigo that's a mountain and then he fights the Scarlet Witch there it's a big fight

but oh I forgot to mention Doctor Strange Remember there was Dead Doctor Strange earlier Yeah Okay Dr Strange possesses that Possesses using dreamwalking

He possesses The dead Dr. Strange He's zombie strange Okay And there's demons around But he harrises demons And uses him to fight Scarlet Witch

Okay I mean Okay No keep going But then listen to it He's I keep saying this and this. It's okay. Oh, hey, I'm list. I'm riveted.

It's a nervous tick. So, they almost defeat Scarlet Witch, but then she defeats them and they're all like, oh, hope is lost. But then Dr. Strange tells America Chavez to believe in herself. And she does. And she punches a hole into a universe

where Scarlet Witch does have her kids. Okay. Or when she shows up, the kids are afraid of her, because she's all covered in blood and all like, like, Hey, you're my children. Yeah. So they're all like, help, help. So she cries them. and then she kills herself.

Oh. She brings down Mount Wendigo. Wow. And destroys the dark hold. And whoever destroys the dark hole, destroys themself. Okay. Okay.

So then they're all happy and America Chavez learns to love herself. Oh, by the way, Fathema and she has two mothers. America Chavez? Yeah, two moms, yeah. But they don't kiss because the Chinese don't like that.

No, Chinese are very adamant against that type of stuff. But she has two moms. She doesn't know where they are, though, because she accidentally sent her moms to a different dimension. Yeah, yeah. So she's always looking for our mothers. Yeah, that's where she got the powers.

Her mothers were like fisting each other. Yeah. And then ripped a hole in one of their cunt. And that's how they got the new dimension or whatever. Now, you see that stupid, horrific shit that I just said. There's really no difference in what I just said to that drivel that you just, you know, shoveled to me. Well, we're not finished. Oh, we're not?

We're not finished at all. You know how they say that schizophrenic's dreams are incredibly vivid and bizarre. are rather reminiscent here but go on we're almost finished I was joking we're almost finished so then

Merrick Chavez goes back to wizard school to learn about our powers more uh um

Dr Strange learns to love himself and Wong is there as well they all get on but then at the end Dr Strange is walking on the street

and here's a voice going like I need you Dr Strange turns around is Charlie's Torren okay and she's like I'm another wizard

I need your help he's like okay the end Yeah. Then the post credit scene is Bruce Campbell eating pizza. That's it? Well, it's kind of funny.

He goes, it's over to the camera. So he kind of braced Fort Wall. Oh, okay. Yeah. Good. Yeah, because Bruce Campbell, the Evil Dead, Sam Ramey, it's a nice little nod for the people like you. I bet you loved it. I loved it, yeah.

Now, you sat there in the cinema. A lot of young ones there didn't like, didn't know what that was. I actually had a DVD of Evil Dead. And you followed them out to their car. Ash versus Evil Dead was you not better than people gave it credit for Come back

I'm locked this door right now I'm like they're driving off and hanging out the side Army of Darkness was a box office bomb It's become a cult favourite A critical re-evaluation Yeah

Yeah I didn't actually like Army of Darkness I like if what is It was them trying something different Yeah I'll say the first two evil dead are great But you know

Anyway that's that there So that was Dr. Strange 2. Yeah. What's its full title? Dr. Strange in the multiverse of madness. Multiverse of madness. Yeah. Because Scarlet Witch has gone mental.

Yeah. And they go through the multiverse. I wish we'd gone through more multiverses. Yeah. Those rumours that were going to see Tom Cruise's Iron Man. Didn't see that? We're going to see Ghost Rider. We're going to see Ben Affleck.

Didn't see any of those things? No. A bit of a letdown, yeah. Yeah. But I liked it for all boys. It's like a schizophrenic ate a whole wheel of cheese and then went to bed and had wacky dreams. That's what you just spoon-fed out there.

Oh, I forgot to mention as well. If you dream walk too much, you cause an incursion. An incursion? Yeah. So, what's that? In incursions where, let's say you're going back from one university or other, you're projecting yourself into a parallel universe, James Cadden. You're controlling that cadden.

You're going to destroy the boundary between each universes, and you caught both of them one or boat to collapse. Oh, I see. So it's very, very dangerous. It's risky business. That's why you loomality, kind of the point. Yeah. I mean, that's what nobody wants to say

about the Illuminati is like oh, you're controlling everything and depopulation. Yes, there should be depopulation. There are too many people were on a limited space with finite resources and all these mongos are just

churning out babies like cattle just feasting all the resources sucking it up I've heard the exact opposite I've heard we're having a bit of a fall at a moment the population is falling Oh, who's telling you that? Musk said it. Elon.

Elon? Yeah. He said that like, no one's fucking anymore. He can't... So he's like, I'll fuck him. You can't trust him either, because of apartheid. Apartheid diamonds on Twitter. That's what I've heard.

Yeah, I don't know. So anyway, would you be interested in Dr. Strange? No, no, I would not. I mean, well, I mean, I'd probably have to see the first one first, wouldn't I? You don't need to at all? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm 100 sure. Because I'll be honest, Brian, while you were there explaining all of that.

You're talking about Malcolm Middle. I was. I was. Which was a game changer back in the day. But wasn't there an episode of Wanda Vision that had a Malcolm in the middle episode? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wanda Vision with different sitcoms.

Yeah. Always got my schedule there. Let's find out in real time how I'm doing. You do that. So 11. I'm off. Oh, I'm off Saturday Sunday. As in this Saturday Sunday?

Yeah, that's not too bad. I'll go weekend off. That's nice. That's awesome. I'm on night shifts this weekend. I'm not doing any late nights Good, good Oh man, everything's turning out okay from me

Ah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that buddy You know, when you're at your highest That's when Elon Musk comes for you I'm off at 6 on Friday Which is handy because I'm doing hysteria On Friday as well Yeah, yeah, who else is on the lineup? I've no idea

I assume Talon because he offered me the gig But I don't know But it should be a fun week I've got three gigs coming up Yeah, good I don't have any but good But hey, that's how it works It's cyclical

There's one week you had loads of gigs not and I was ready to jump off the bridge like and now I'm so depressed I can't even get out of bed to walk to the bridge so it's funny how it turns around which bridge they go to like the hey penny that's not gonna be good

they'll survive that yeah are you jealous of people that got like the you know the Golden State Bridge you can jump off that and they'll die straight away exactly like Tony Scott yeah that's a way to go cinematic as well jumping off to hey penny that's not cinema no that's unfair city shit

it's depressing TV movie bullshit I'm going to see Shane Gillis on Thursday that should be fun that'll be very good yeah yeah yeah I'm looking forward to in the Liberty Hall theatre which I've never been to

I've never been there it's kind of it's close to like Bussaris or it's oh yeah it's down around that area I think I've driven past it yeah it's I'm sure it'll be nice

but I imagine it'll be relatively a relatively intimate venue which is good maybe I'll be up close and personal maybe the young bull will call me a fuck dork to my face. Maybe you can be the young bull as well.

Now, I've only got, it's just me going by myself, so I'm just going to be... A few people we know are going as well, so you can talk to them before and after. Yeah, but I just mean in terms of like the seating arrangement. Like, remember when you said you went to see Tim Dillon? Yeah, there's a few freaks around us. There was that weirdo from Sligo

who kept touching your mate's leg. And going like, yeah, Tim Dillon said on Twitter. That's going to be me. I'd be like, I love the shaman. The shaman. tendies chicken tendies good boy points right I'm more of a fan

of the Old Testament bro and they'll be like please get away from me and I'll have my DVD of Army of Darkness with me as well no context no I'm looking forward to it I'm glad you're getting out of the house thanks man yeah it wasn't me there for a weekend

wedding that didn't count and now Shane Gillis then working night shifts back on the night shifts Are you back? Are you doing full time again or parking? No, no, just going in. They need night shift cover. Shit, I still haven't given you your money. You haven't given me my money. I would like my money, please. From the

gig we did two weeks ago. I can give it in cash right now. Give it to me. Look, look. Give it to me it now. This is it. Wait, give me, let me check see my financials. Yeah, yeah. Cough it out. There we go. Oh, look at you. Yeah, yeah. I'll give it to you in five. Keep going. Keep going.

No, what about the Vig? What about that Vig? There we go. Look at that. What you call it the Vig? Lozawanga. Yeah, the Vig. What's that?

It's like the interest. Oh, I'd never heard that. The Vig? You never heard of the Vig? I've never heard of the Vig. Have you never watched The Sopranos or any show about mobsters? There's a lot of stuff in Sopranos they say, and I don't know what it means. That adds to, like, the fun of it.

The Vig is just like the interest that accumulates, but it's usually more... It always seems to be around money lending, loan shark, and ill-gotten games, if you will. Let me look up the mean of the word Vig. Yeah, yeah. Now be careful, the V and the end are very close together on the keyboard. You watch yourself, Tuler. I don't even know, are they? They're probably not.

It's from vigourism. Yeah. That sounds dumb. The cut, the juice, the underjuice, the take, the margin, the house edge, or the Vig. Yeah. Charged by the Booker or the Bucky for accepting a gambler's wage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the interests of the commission or whatever.

That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's a commentary. No, you never heard of the Vig? No. Oh, well. There's a lot of gibberishes sopranos, don't understand.

The Gabagool, is that a financial term as well? A moolie? Hello, going to the bike manager. I would like to deposit a couple of moolies, please. And

charge it to your finest Finook account, if you will, good man. Thank you very much. Just go to the local credit union. Yeah. Is there any else? you want to do for it. Like, I have stuff to do,

but I feel like it'll take too long. Like, I have a lot of stuff about the assassination of, um, the attempted assassination of, say, of Ronald Reagan. Oh, that'll take too long.

That's for the Patreon. I also, I, um, I did some stuff this weekend, but we'll do the Patreon deck because, okay. I want to,

I'll give a shout out to my roommate, Shane McKenna. He did, uh, that car episode we recorded. Yeah, so people might not know this. We did a car episode of us driving, which I'd love to do again.

Yeah. No, but, We were driving back from my gig, so it was me, you and the two Shite Talk Boys, Kevin, Jason. We were all, like, you weren't drunk, but the three of us were drunk, we were talking shite. I was very loud and very drunk, and the volume was just ridiculous, and the levels were all over the place. It was unlistnable. Well, it was unlistable.

I uploaded it, and I thought maybe that'll be fun in a way, listening something that's, you know, very unpleasant. Yeah, and hurts your ears. It's kind of like, you know, like, you only musician who would shit on themselves. Oh, G. G.G. Allen? I told me it'd be like GGL now That's the experience But people didn't agree with me No, they didn't like it

But my roommate He did like an audio edit And polished it all up So now it's listenable I don't understand how he did it But it's crazy You're the same level as like me now Even though in reality

You were screaming at me I was very scared Yeah I was very loud I was very drunk Well you see we did a gig In Mullangar and Ross The owner of the pub Was playing me with booze

Free booze all night We need to get on to him about a live show actually Life Showman O'Gar would be great. That'll be great, yeah. We need that. None of this, like, lame old Dublin people. They're like, oh, well, is that accurate, actually?

And what's the societal context of that, a voice that you're doing right there? Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. Sorry. They won't put up with that in Monaghan anyway. No, no. That there, and they won't put up with dead air anyway.

Oh, yeah, actually. Oh, fuck, I forgot about that. I made a mind from Monaghan was on about doing a, like, we do a live podcast and my local in Monaghan. Yeah. Would that be the terrible thing to happen with it? Apparently that pub has got a real problem with coaked up teenagers

coming in and glassing people Oh! I think I'd be fun in there I can relate to them though I'd like put the chair around backwards, sit on it Yeah, you're wearing like a backwards baseball cap Does the coke really make you happy, does it? Does it? Does the coke give you energy? I doubt it. Yeah, yeah.

You know what gives you energy? You know what gives you gets you all fucked up and makes you feel good? The good buck. Yeah. so yeah look we got there's lots of things in the pipeline big things and well life show in hysteria yeah has that been confirmed it has been confirmed i believe i've confirmed it you've confirmed it i's know about it in your own head we're going to do a history of tony blair that'll be good yeah you know there's a i think it's costcovo does those of children named after tony blair

tony blair is very popular in a lot of parts of the world cosovo costavo yeah people always talk about the one big war lots of little wars tony blair was involved in yeah and he never gets his credit where credit's due. Well, they're trying to make a push to come back. The Labour Party hasn't won since Gordon Brown. So what, make another run for PM? Or at the very least, make a,

become public and publicly support someone and be, like, really involved. Okay, right, okay. I mean, yeah, I imagine he probably would be a great asset just in terms of, like, advising people, because he was really, I mean, like, no other PM, like, maybe since that,

sure was pot through the ringer as much as he was in terms of the global geopolitical stage, you know what I mean? Like, you know, with his Iraq war crimes. Well, he was loved for a long time, though. He was. His first two wars, think, Bosnia and Syria Leone, I think it was. Yeah. There's Bosnia, Kosovo

were fighting each other, and then Syria alone had like a dictator or something like that. But he was really big into like, we need to enforce the moral high ground here. We have the high ground. We need to enforce it. We need to go to air and say, hey, this is the right way. Western way is the right way Stop that

Put that down Naughty So he did that twice And Bill Clinton Got annoyed with him Because he said You're making us look bad You're making America look bad

Because everyone loves English so much You're being like proactive Oh yeah And America wasn't being Proactive at the time And Bill Clinton Was actually getting annoyed

It's interesting now I don't know about any of this Yeah well It's all on the live show So if you're one of the hit cats Want to get down With the real history Forget about

Shite Talk history boys They're just indoctrinate you with lies and nonsense literally none of that is real they're like oh Michael Collins there was no Michael Collins there was no Michael Collins Michael Collins got in trouble for saying a black guy raped his cousin

you're gonna believe that shit I don't think so buddy anyway yeah actually yeah shout out to Liam Neeson as well yeah yeah yeah Lee Neeson was in Atlanta and Derry Girls last few wow very good comedy cameos yeah he's uh yeah I mean

he's a funny guy when he's kind of just playing into how weird he is. I don't think he could do like, you know, multi-camera sitcom, you know. Or like the Nutty Professor remake with Liam Nees. Yeah, he couldn't be Frankie Munez. No, he could.

I've always said that. I say it to his face as well. Anyway, yeah. So, yeah, now let's still do a little tease in next episode. So we're going to talk about the attempt to assassination of Ronald Reagan. Hello, it's be Ronald Reagan.

Yeah, so I got this from the Louis podcast with Shane which by the way I'm still thinking about that I don't want to just repeat it but that story about Richard Nixon meeting his wife is so interesting Wait what was it? You know that where Richard Nixon When he was a young young lad Okay he goes to the library yeah

And there's a girl in the library he liked She was like someday you're gonna be my wife And she was like no I'm in love with somebody else And he was like we'll all be your friend then And I'll drive you to your boyfriend and he can fuck you real good We'll marry you someday And she was like oh okay you free And it worked.

Yeah, it worked because, you know, she got a bit older and he started becoming, you know, having a career. And she was like, right, well, I backed the wrong horse. I know that guy with the nine-inch cock who makes me come four times a night. I mean, yeah, that's fun and all. But, you know, he still just works in a box factory. I need to hop on the Nixon train and all the way to the White House. Oh, I tell you what. Go on.

I'm going to do a thing next in the Patreon episode called Brian's Teary. I was going to do this role but we had to cancel because I'm working Thursday Okay So this is on my theories We're going to a day And I want you to fight these

theories So one of my big theories, okay Is that rapists Don't rape women They perceive as hotter than them Wait, what? Rapists, rape women They perceive as less hot

Than themselves Because they have low confidence Really? Yeah Now that's just your theory Yeah Now your story. theory what do you have

do you have any... We'll get into it on the Patreon okay. Next one. Right. Women are better than settling than men. When are better at settling than men? Settling in a bad relationship than men. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah. I mean all right. No. I don't know.

Anyway, what's your next one? French people are annoying because of socialism. Well, they're just annoying anyway. You just... French people are annoying. Dot, dot, dot. The end. Don't. No, I'm only joking. Our French Lisa is French and she's lovely. So, ha ha.

Yeah, young French people. That's part of my theory as well. Because you've got exposed to TikTok. Okay. And the internet, like... Well, it's not just... No, I'll get into the rest of it there. I've got lots of theories.

Mostly about women. I'm noticing that. Women with big tits are smelly. Because, you know what? Their tits get in the way so the washcloth can't make it all the way down to the vage. So, oh, what?

Get off me. I will not leave the library. Someday you'll be my wife. You're a big ten and smelly Goddor. Yeah, so it's all the way of Reagan and women and stuff like that.