Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 157 : Wagatha Christie

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Cadden gets cancelled and some kids learn to play footie the right way.

going we're going where are we going now we're going yeah we're going it's brian and james we're back for a free episode i'm here my name's b i'm here with the naughty b cadden oh naughty b we're a little noty c we'll get into that later on okay um you know cadm was kind of feeling down but i brought you some pills you did you brought me some happy pills you got cancelled won't get into it now okay you've got shane gillis yes well just without the numbers but yeah exactly yeah yeah and you try to call up lorne i'm Sorry, Caden, but it's unforgivable, I mean, you know. We won't get into it now, okay?

If you know what we're talking about, you don't need to know, okay? It's just something bad happened to Caird. You don't need to know. So much so that Brian really shouldn't have brought it up. That's how little you need to know. But anyway. Look, something bad happened to Catton. That's how I need to know.

Hey, I'm still smiling, baby. Yeah. That's life. That's life. I knew we should bring it up. That's what all the people say. It's always good to start on a weird tone That's what I found

It's like a first date in a way Make them feel weird You want to hear get really weird tone Subscribe to the Patreon And hear me last week I was acting a mother flipping fool On that last episode I was being very moody

You don't notice it You're like almost immune to it now But I was like Yeah I was being very cunty on it I was like You're talking about going You know to a gay bathhouse And I should have had lots of fun

with that but I was like no I'm in a mood I'll go again okay I'll do it for you James yeah yeah but anyway but no it's all good now you're under the weather you're feeling bad okay

I brought you some beta blockers we won't go too much into that apparently it's not that hard to get from a doctor but it's a cool doctor yeah yeah yeah well I know some hip cats you know I'm waiting till I get paid and then I'll

hit up my my GP's like give me that good good motherfucker please don't talk like that in my office Would you ever get your own prescription of beta blockers or do you want me to be the middle man who gets them for you? I can hook it up. Don't worry about that, you know?

I might get some beta blockers. Let's all start taking beta. Now, is that anything to do what children take? Or is that something else? I've got to get their good books somehow, you know? No, beta blockers are just like you don't even get a buzz off them. They're strictly for...

So it's not a deal with like if I'm a beta, which means my girlfriend fucks other guy you're afraid to talk. take one of these, and then you're like, Oh, extra beta. And you beat the shit out of it. Oh, I thought it meant it made you extra beta where you're like afraid to order

chicken fillet roll. Do you have vegan chicken fillet roll? Yeah, it's called a bleeding salad pal, yeah. Rapid boons. I start crying. No, it's just like, I think initially they were sort of a cardiovascular thing

for like heart problems, but people kind of figured out that they're very good for like public speaking and stuff or if you're like having anxiety yeah you got the shakes yeah yeah so um i'm just take you know i've been feeling a little anxious lately so i'm just trying to you know i've got some gigs coming up but i'm trying to like not drink and do drugs and stuff before i go on stage anymore you know trying to clean up my act and i think the best way to do that is more pills well as you get older you kind of find out like you're not going to stop taking pills.

Of course not. It's like stop and eating food. Yeah. It's ridiculous. We just go, We both know I ain't doing that. Oh, ho. But it's about finding the right path.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you'll get there. I'll get there eventually or I'll die trying. People think it's a 24-7 non-stop party being the cadman. Yeah. But I'm actually very sad and anxious. More anxious than sad most of the time.

But every so often the sadness over power. Anyway, but hey, fuck. That shit. Yeah, enough of that gay shit. Yeah. We're going to talk about some footy, all right. Whoa, lads. This is the footy special, but there's no football involved.

No, it's all the world. It's just about the ladies. It's all women and children get molested. And then also some movie talk at the end, and then maybe some she-hulk. So, what could you not hate there? This is a cavalcade, something for everyone, a smorgasbord of fun. Yeah, I was thinking about, you know, shite talk. Yes.

You know, like, I was talking to Jason, he was like, it's very easy to mark a shite talk. It's Irish history. Everyone knows Irish history. Yes. Well, we talked, this is better than that. We've got She Hulk. Yeah.

All right, we got Barry Brenn. Barry Benel. Barry Benel. Show respect, you, dog. Wagga de Christi. Waggatha Christie. And something else. Forget Al.

Master of disguise. Yes, yes. So let's talk about Wagga to Christy first of all. Okay, Waggatha Christie. So Wagga to Christi happened in 2019, I believe. Yeah, yeah. It's back in the news now because the libel case is happening right now. So much like they Amber Heard, Johnny Depp.

thing. Now the libel case is kicking off. Also, I mean, just brand recognition the marketability of Wagatha Christie, that's superb. Whoever came up with that is there is a guy. There's a guy who came up with that. Really? He's a billionaire.

If he's not a billionaire it's a disgrace. He's not. That's the thing. He's going on being like, I tweeted that first. Hello? Yeah, it's like the chick who came up with the Me Too thing, but nobody cared until Alyssa Milano. It's like, yeah, nobody You? No. The chick from whatever the show was. That's who came up with it.

Yeah, I don't think he's doing very well at the moment. He needs beta blockers. Waggatha Christie. I mean, it's so good. But you know what? Wag is a very like mid-2000s term. It came from, I believe, 2006. Okay. So the World Cup was happening. You got the etymology of Wag. Yeah, well, I've been studying this, okay? Yeah. So it happened around 2006 or so during the World Cup.

And there's a lot of like downtime. And this is one of the first times like all the wives and girlfriends are hanging around and dressed up kind of nice and photography

see photographers before that they're always trying to get the picture to players they were like oh these women keep getting the way

way a minute here and they started taking a picture to them and that's where it came from and it kind of grew with back then it's very different now I listen to a podcast

about all this like the Waggedy Christi podcast okay very interesting but talked to some paparazzi guys and I love hearing they're a sculler

I love hearing them talk about this Because they are amaze They are like Yeah, I take pictures Fucking good, yeah And this one guy He's talking about like Yeah, I used to take pictures

of Colleen Rooney all the time It was best when she was underaged When she was a teenager You get the best pictures All right How did you even know who she was When she was underage? What age was weird?

Well Wayne started playing fair Like he was in the papers Very very young He was like 18 Right The Premier League of like 17 Or something like Maybe 16

Or really 16 the young, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, we'll get into that there, but they're saying Colleen Rooney, she grew up in this basically where Rebecca Varity didn't. Okay. Because Jamie Verdey got into football,

he became big in football much later. Okay, right. We'll get into all that, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wig became big. Yeah, so there's Wayne Rooney. Wagg, it's an acronym for wives and girlfriends.

I forgot to explain that yet. Keep up. Yeah, well, keepy up. Yay, there we go. Yeah, exactly at football. So there, the lads love this, all right? Forget about the whole gay bat house stuff last week.

I was just feeling weird Now I've got my banner blockers So I'm watching the footage I just hit my head there Well I got hit again And I went back to normal I love the wagget The Christie football story

So there's Wayne Rooney And Dave Boat became very famous Very quickly And they both got hounded by the press for years I mean fucking just slaughtered every week Just like Ugly pig

retard cunt Can't read or take a bath kill yourself that was just about their kids there's a headline there normally the headline's like a pun or something like that no he really had to fight for that but the editor chief's like

oh I think we made the right decision in the end you to go with it you know the journalistic integrity like they say obviously like the paparazzi in America TMZ or fucking skull but apparently they pale in comparison to the British press yeah I mean maybe not even so much now but like mid-2000

when there was zero accountability. Nobody gave his shit. But, like words like misogyny and racism didn't even exist. Yeah, that was different retards. But, so yeah, it was just a feat. It was open season. You could just

fucking kill them, just say horrible shit all the time. Didn't matter. You could literally, like, pull down her dresses and take pictures and kick him in a head. And it was like, I'm taking pictures. Oh, she's got bits of tissue and her pubic hair. What a scummy cult. Oh, clean your

bush up you dog and that was the Guardian so this all broke out in 2019 so Colleen Rooney had a personal Instagram account so a secret one so okay so not her public one

where it's all like oh my charity work The blue tick verified I think racism's bad but then there's the other one where it's all about like you know oh this smelly homeless man looked at me that's that there's no proof of

she said that I'm just a make-up example. So it's more just stuff like, you know, me and Wayne going shop, stuff that you can just text in, you know, here's a glass of wine I'm drinking. Probably just for her,

like, close friends of family. Now, she, Rebecca Varity was one of the friends who was following her on Instagram. Yeah. But then Colleen noticed a lot of the stuff she was posting in her personal account

being leaked to the son. Right. There's always the son, okay. Yeah, okay. And the son had, used to have a column for a good while called like The Secret Way. which is a wag

revealing little titillating tidbits Oh like deep throats You know They got a little woodward And Bernstein But wag a thing Wagafi Yeah exactly

So little hints And little stuff Yeah And little stuff That only someone Who follow Colleen's Private account Would know about

Right So Colleen Hatched a plan A very cunning plan She started putting fake stories In her private account

big exactly okay and small little things first then got bigger and bigger so first of all something like the car got dented then something like the house is flooded and then the big one okay she was pregnant

at the time and she posts something saying she'd go into Mexico to get gender assignment surgery oh okay so that's the big juicy tomato that's the one that the papers would love oh the big lump of cheese and the trap is set exactly for a little rat

A little rat with a twat. So she already... Ratt a twat-twatt. Rat a twat-to-y. So, have it fun. She already had her suspectation... Suspicion about Rebecca, okay? So what she did is she made the story private, everyone, apart from Rebecca.

Right. So Rebecca was the only one to see the Mexico Gender Assignment story. Okay. A ridiculous story. I'm not too sure if it's true. in the story she was saying that you can actually go to Mexico and they can decide which birth your baby is.

Oh, wow. Yeah, the Mexicans can kick you in the stomach a certain way and a baby will pop out. It would be a girl or a boy depending on which way to kick it. Nice. They get a medical donkey to kick you in your uterus. See, it turns out it is not a good medical

procedure so baby is dead. You're only 12,000 pesos. Have I been raised enough yeah yeah so the story

gets posted on her Instagram account yeah private okay Rebecca sees it it gets into the sun

right appears there so the trap has been set and the mouse has been caught Colleen post on Instagram

and a big long post about like someone's been leaking stories for years and years I had my suspects but I laid down

a trap I now know who it is it is dot dot dot Rebecca Fardy wow you know like obviously

like Rebecca Vardy stupid enough to fall for it. The fact that like the editors and the journalists at the Sun fell for this like gender reassignments thing in Mexico. No, maybe they knew, maybe it was fucking it was a sciop dude

co-intel pro. They knew that Colleen was going to rat out Vardy and they were like, let's let it all implode. Well, I think with the Sun, it's almost like, hey, if we get in trouble we're not going to take, we didn't make up the story, we know who did it. So they always say we don't reveal our sources, but when push comes a show of...

They got a fall guy. Yeah, exactly, a fall cunt, all right? Now, just a little bit of history about Rebecca Varity. Yeah. Which is annoying because there's a great Wayne Rooney story. There's a great Jamie Vardy story. Right. But now the stories are basically kind of overwhelmed by this Wagga de Christi nonsense.

Okay. So, Jamie Vardy, very interesting. So Wayne became young, became young very quickly. He became famous very quickly, okay? Yeah, he was very young, but he was very good player. Yeah, okay. Jamie, on the other hand, was, like, in league four.

So, like, the fourth division, okay, from the top. He was in the Redford Rejects. Exactly, yeah. He wishes, all right? I want to see, he's playing with, like, a collar around his leg

because he, like, got on a bust-up and some boozer or something like that. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah, like, definitely not, like, you know, definitely wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, okay? He's working class hero.

Working class, okay. Rose up the ranks, though, like, you're too old, you're too smelly. You can't do anything. You're fucking, fucking cunt, all right? And he proved them all wrong, just like me someday, all right? He went to the Premier League and Leicester City won the Premier League. Okay.

That had never been, a team that wasn't like won the Big Six, okay? It's nearly always like Man United. So it's a real like Cinderella underdog story. Like, Leicester City won, it was like 5,000 to 1. Literally, that's the exact number. 5,000 to 1. If you bet on it, it started a year to them win, that would be... This is full-on Ted Lassau.

Exactly, it is Ted Lassau. But not gay. Yeah, exactly. So he wouldn't marry some bitch, all right? He set her straight. Nathan, you little Peter, you tell her the son about me. To know what you're wrong about, man? And I'm not even, that racist and wrong.

You just daft. You guess that belief sign of waxing the head of it. I tell you, you little border jumping, son of a bitch. This ain't, ah, I'm Ted Lassow. Ted Lassow's back. I don't like that show. It's a lot like it. The first season is okay.

It's like, oh, it's still going. Yeah, I haven't watched season two. They still all love each other. Yeah, yeah. It's too lovey-dovey. It needed Ted to, like, go off the rails and, like, become an alcoholic, addicted to the beta-blockers. And beta-blockers aren't addictive, by the way. He'd find a way, because he believes in themselves.

Well, you just take Benzos, like Valium or Xanax for that, you know? Okay, well, we'll fix it up and post, all right? So, anyway, my point was, Rebecca came to the fame game late. Okay, so what age was... What age were they Her and Jamie? Jamie like he was in late 20s Which isn't that big

Is it pretty big difference When it comes to your development And when fame gets involved Because fame stunts you Yes And like also from a professional athlete That's ancient like Yeah yeah

It's crazy like yeah So I said fame stunts you But it's actually kind of the opposite With Colleen because she had to get through a lot Because there was always scandal Involving and all this Yeah he's like granny shagging So she almost had to grow up quicker

Whereas Rebecca, I feel like She got to a certain age They're like, oh, we're rich now Oh, cool And she kind of was like, I can stop now Okay And she went online with celebrity And stuff like that as well

Right, right And also there's like things Where they're saying that like Didn't say her in particular But they would say like When it comes to the wag circles There was always a few that were like How come me taking more picture to her than me?

What's going on here And we're actually like pay To get their pictures in Oh, okay Because it's all publicists And all right Sure, yeah Yeah

I mean because their whole You know their commodity is how hot they are right someone made a good point that for modern women like TikTok girls this doesn't make any sense sure because they're like no you build your own thing yes so the whole thing of like you gotta get in the sun

they're like what are you talking about a magazine yeah what is that because all these women Rebecca and Colleen they're all like in their 40s now yes so it's a completely different generation completely yeah there was no social media was in its infancy you know it really wasn't there It wasn't eroding or social fabric back then like it is now. Yeah.

It was a better time. Back minute it was Jimbe Grinch. And they haven't stopped even, have they? Taking pictures of Wayne Runez. When he's trying to have shang a granny. When? Look at here, bro. Look here.

You're on the bender, bro. You have big red, bro. You get a good pussy, bro. Little poor Danny brother. There are good voices. I've said that. They're not like stereotypical. It's like, it's a real truth to him.

Dialet. You're like the dialect coach. Really, it's living truthfully and imagined circumstances. That's my process, you know. So, the reason is back in the news now, not just like bringing up old hat, all right? No, it's sense.

The libel case is happening now. So Rebecca's saying that post and Instagram and all this hullabaloo has ruined her career and has caused emotional distress and probably pussy distress as well, okay? Sure, sure. So it's gone to course. court. Now, libel law in Britain is very tough. Okay. So, Colleen is now under the offensive and she's got to prove that Rebecca did it. And Rebecca's using every trick in the book to say, like, you can't 100% prove it with me. Can she not, though? Can they not, like, trace it? Well, this is a series of unfortunate events happened. It's like Lemney Snicket, all right? So, first of all, you know, the phone? Yeah. That got lost in the sea. Ah. So it turns out Rebecca's agent. She shoved that up.

God? Rebecca's agent decided to take the phone on a holiday and they're on a boat this is true this is what she said and the boat

got very rocky and she dropped it into the North Sea she dropped the phone into the ocean So Rebecca's agent took Rebecca's phone on a boat trip

and accidentally dropped it because the waves are too hard Without Rebecca? Yeah without Rebecca was here So secondly If you try to take

my phone at a holiday I'd I'd call the men in white jackets Brian, they come take you away Ironically, her agent is now in like a psychiatric facility. Oh, what?

Yeah, yeah, because of the stress. So she can't go because she's so mental, how convenient. Because she's so spastic, she can't go to court. Like every woman. Your Honor, my client is suffering from spastic cut disease. Clearly she's not fit to stand trial.

You know, it's funny, spastic isn't a bad word in America. Yeah, so they can use spastic on like ESPN sometimes He's a very spastic player Yeah Yeah, he plays very spastic basketball Even weird I'll use spastic in the song Oh, and didn't he change it then? He changed because the UK were giving him shit

And he was like, I'm sorry Yes What a pussy, oh bro So first of all they lost the phone Yeah Then Rebecca's laptop got damaged unfortunately Okay Then her WhatsApp was hacked by unknown sources

It's all in the cloud They don't need the actual devices I'll get to a second then Jamie's WhatsApp was also hacked by probably

Russians alright then what happened is so the court like you have to give us that's what

the Ukraine war is all over so then all right the court was like you have to give us stuff from the cloud

okay yeah but Rebecca's lawyers are like okay but we have to redact some stuff but it's very unimportant stuff

okay don't worry so they redacted it but they redacted the documents badly so you can still read what they redacted.

Oh, that's dumb. That's very, that's a bad. I didn't realize they had legal grounds to redact, like, text messages. Are you allowed to do that? You are, if you can argue that it's, like, for personal use. Okay.

But, like... Or, like, to release it would, like, you know, put your family in danger. Orders and harms of it, that, yeah. But then, I don't know how they redacted badly. I'm not too sure how. I know there's a case with a comic book one time, this is very nerdy, okay?

where they had swear words and they purposely like redacted it okay so it was like blank off alright so it was a black box and off but they did it very very faint to clear read fuck okay good yeah

so that was probably it was like the Batman comic book I read yeah yeah let's give people like you a giddy little thrill oh oh Batman said fuck no he just called the riddler the N word

oh doesn't even make sense but I'm loving it Paul Dano is one though but um so um they redacted it badly somehow they could read the text and turns out

the text that stuff they redacted tried to redacted was all important stuff that would help Colleen oh so the judge got very very angry yeah I mean that's like you know

that's like withholding exactly relevant information or pertinent information or whatever so the text that they found out now it's pretty damning so one of them's like

I for well D. D. Sprav. Get me fap. No one of them is like, I'd love to leak these stories. That's pretty bad. Another one was complaining that the son wasn't buying enough for her stories and it says it's about the money. That's literally like if Colleen wrote it, you couldn't make it

that good, okay? And then a few other things there. It's gone so bad now that Rebecca's kind of changing her story now. And she's saying the lawyer did it. Oh, what?

Yeah, the spastic one. Jesus. Who's in the Looney Bid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She probably did it. Wait, oh, wow. That's mental. Her old thing is like, hey, you proved it came from my account and you proved those emails came from my account.

Doesn't mean I did it, okay? That was probably my agent. She also had access to it. Right. Now, another thing Colleen's lawyers did, though, it's very, very smart. Is they say, oh, Rebecca cares about privacy. They got a load of old articles where Rebecca talked about other people she slept with. Oh.

And she talked about Peter Andre. and mention you had a tiny, tiny penis. Good, that's good. Something that's probably the smallest package I ever seen. Really? You're like, does this sound like a woman who cares about people's privacy? That's fantastic. That's great.

That is like the, if the glove don't fit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, mysterious cunt. I can't get inside of you. Because my penis too small, buddabye now. So that's so far as Ragged at Christy. Now, they're saying that even though all this, Britain's libel laws are so tough There's a chance

Rebecca could win At least prove that it wasn't A hundred percent Proof that she did it's insane And then Colleen has to pay everything And how much How much is she asking for? Thousands and thousands like

It's so much that like It would hurt them like It would be an annoyance for them Yeah It's more about For these people It's not about the money really Because you know

Wayne can just get like a job With Sky Sports or everything like that But like He's retired now though, isn't he? He's retired. He's managing Darby and they got relegated, so I'm not too sure if he's going to stay. But, like, it's more about the pride and reputation. That's what's on the line

here. And it got really, it got juicy okay, for me, because they had to bring Wayne and Jamie into the trial. Oh, right, to give like testimony. Yeah, and apparently this was kind of going on, especially, like, during certain games around the World Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When they were both involved in it, okay? They were on the same team, like, yeah, and other people had to get involved and kind of be like, hey, Can you talk about this? And they had to have sit down talk about their cunt wives. Oh, wow. I shouldn't say one cunt wife.

Ah, a pair of them. No, I like Colleen a lot. Do you? Yeah, yeah. She comes off very well, like, considering everything like, you know. Considering like, you know, those guys,

they didn't have media training or anything to learn on the job, basically. Yeah, that's true. And like, I mean, she really got raked over the coals for like... Multiple of times. For a decade, pretty much.

Yeah, even like recently the whole thing were like, remember Wayne fell asleep with those two strippers they're taking pictures of him when he was all sad. and drunk. Yeah.

Fuck those whores. Tricking poor Wayne. He's just having a little sleep because he's tired. In a hotel room with those two women. Yeah. I remember one of the girls is a boyfriend's trying to

blackmail Wayne then. Oh really? Yeah, it's like, you were trying to shack my missus. Oh, blackmail you. I win, yeah? It's all very juicy. That thing, with the Amber Hurd stuff,

there's all some annoying countries. Like, behind all this is a woman you got abuse. It's like, oh, you're ruining the fun, all right.

Not for me. For me, that is the fun. Yeah. That's the juicy bit. The bit which sits in the bed, sits in the bed, that's a sad part for me.

Yeah. That's a bit you don't joke about. But the abuse, that gives me a good hearty chuckle. So, yeah, so yeah, it's very,

waggatha Christie, very fun. I just feel bad for Jamie as well. Yeah. So I like Jamie very lot. Is he still playing? He's playing now, yeah.

Right. He's playing now, yeah. Right. He won the FA Cup last year, which is very impressive because Leicester isn't really like, you know, the biggest team ever. Yeah. Most people have haven't really, don't really give a fuck about them. Yeah. But like

sometimes when he's playing, they're like, Jamie Vardy, Jamie Vardy, your wife is a grass. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which is distracting, I'd say. I'd imagine so. Yeah. What is his Jimmy now? He's pushing for it, I'd say. So it's going to be a matter of time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like he's a striker, so he could, like, Ronaldo's old enough as well. You can kind of nice hang around near the goal just have other people do to work for you. Jamie Vardy doesn't have the same amount of money Ronaldo has. No, no, I imagine. No. They were going to make a movie about him about two years ago. Ronaldo? No, Jamie Vardy

because it's such a kind of Hollywood story. Oh, underdog. You're too old. Who would you cast as Jamie Vardy? Tom Holland. You have to age him up with him. Too old. Or no, too young. Yeah, I don't know now. Who was it? Who was it? They were naming someone to play him. Like Michael Sheen.

Yeah, he just plays everyone. And he plays Tony Blair in the same film it's a body swap comedy it's his master of disguise he plays everyone so I'm just gonna look up one second here

a movie tell me about the docudrama you watch it sounded very interesting okay yeah so I watched it was on BBC

2 it was called floodlights and it's the story of I believe his name was Andy Woodward so he was a defender

for fucking Sheffield I think I probably have that like late 80s, early 90s. But he, his career was cut short back of the day because he had mental health problems. And then it came out that he was suffering in silence because he had been sexually abused as a child.

One second. Yeah. The rumor was Jack O'Connell was going to play him. That's pretty good. Yeah. Now, why you're, what's your, why are you furrowed your brow? Well, someone else said Jamie Bell. And I was thinking, Jamie Bell, I think I see him.

Jack O'Connell might be a little bit too handsome. But this is Hollywood, you know That's true Back to the children getting raped Yes I had my fun Yeah, yeah yeah Now for all

I know Wagesa Christie was a bit much So let's lighten it up a little bit Yeah so Andy Woodward Do I have that name right? No is Woodward yeah Yeah Okay so Blah Blah blah blah

He you know Basically quit playing football And became a cop And then years later He came out and said that he was actually When he was being recruited In like the sort of football training youth academies.

Yeah, the youth academies. Yeah, basically he got sexually abused for like over a period of three years. He said on an almost daily basis by this guy called Barry Benel. Benel or Benel, depending on... I've heard Benel. Benel. Benel sounds better, doesn't it? It does.

Benel sounds like you're making fun of him. I wouldn't want to do that. No, no. Don't punch down. So Barry Benel and, yeah, no, I remember watching a documentary about it. this was actually BBC documentary called something like

the football's darkest secret or something like that now that was the BBC one that came out a couple of years ago apparently there was one by Channel 4 made like 2009

and so yeah apparently though this is we still like that's one abuser and like a few names of victims apparently this is like you know there have been talked

that this sort of youth academy the abuse that has gone there over the decades is like parallel to what you would have seen with the Catholic Church. Well, I was going to make the comparison. If you do research, there's a lot

of cases, okay? A lot of lot of cases where it's always kind of similar. There's no real big story. It's kind of like a little kind of maybe like three paragraph kind of thing where it's like, oh, just one lad who is dead now. Yes. Turns out he molested probably about two kids.

Let's not do much research into it. So he probably messed about two kids, but he's dead now, so the end. It's all done. Yeah, and there's a lot of that around England, okay? But I have a theory that in England I think it comes from the Stephen Frye school

I'm not saying Stephen Frye did this okay but the I get what you mean that the sort of the public school where they're all like you know Yeah where it's all kind of like the head boy has to wank off the older children something like that yeah

and it's all that kind of thing so it's kind of like starts off there and trickles down trickle down peedophile When the rich people do it's like okay you get molested basically and then you get to join the Bullington Club and you get to become David Cameron okay

Yes and stick your cock in a pig's mouth Yeah but if you're like The lower class is okay You get molested And you become like an alcoholic Police officer

And then yeah You try to kill yourself And you can't even do that right Yeah exactly So yeah this But like So the So I had seen the documentary

And then on BBC It was a show It was like a drama A dramatized account of it Called Floodlights And the guy who played Barry Benel I don't know

I'd never seen him in anything before but he was great, like really sinister and unnerving. And then the guy who played Andy Woodward, do you remember Shameless, the British show? Yes. So remember the guy that played The Gay Brother? There's a lot of children gather from it. But I do, I do kind of remember.

His name is Jared Kearns. He's not a big name, but he's a very good actor. He just has a really sad looking face. He does sad very well. He does keep in his secret. for years very well but he's very you know his fate like you're not I'm looking up as well you can't both be looking up

well okay well that's him there hang on give it a second it's loaded oh yeah yeah I remember seeing him as a game so to be honest the show floodlights it was good just in terms of performances so the two main performances the guy who played Andy Woodward I know Benel

was actually involved with Man City yes which is he moved around a lot okay and you know how he first how it first came to light he was over in America in some kind of youth training soccer academy in Florida and some kid came out and said that British guy molested me and then he got extradited back to England and he had to go to jail but he got out again and then it all sort of came out that he'd been doing it for years to like loads it apparently over a hundred victims came out probably libel laws in England probably

helped him and I think in America libel laws are very different okay it's much much easier to make accusation and stuff, as unfortunately as we know in Hollywood. So, um, if it's, that's why you're not allowed

to like your favorite films anymore. Yeah. So I did, I don't think it was Barry, okay, but I remember hearing some man talking about when he was a little kid, okay,

uh, the football agent or whatever, coach or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, can I stay with your, it'd be fun.

Okay, I'll stay in your house. Yes. Okay. Your parents sleep upstairs and I'll just be in the guest room. Yeah. You can stay there,

okay. Yeah. Yeah. And then like, you know, we'd literally be raping him with the parents upstairs. Yes, yeah. So it was a similar thing here. Barry Bendell used to have big sleepovers at his house,

so he'd get all of his favorite players to come over. He'd only the best. Yeah, yeah. But he'd have, like, basically like a Michael Jackson thing, just like there was, like, video games and, like, foosball tables, like that old Cat Williams bit. Yeah. I like bitches.

And in my house, I got shit the bitches like, Michael got a whole bunch of toys up there. What do you think? So basically I like that. Now apply that Cat Williams bit to Barry Benno. Yes. And I think you'll see what I mean. So yeah.

And then like this Andy, like he made Andy stay in the bed with them. And like when they did like, they played away games. He'd at book hotel rooms like, Andy you're bunking with me. He's like, can't I stay with the other players?

Nah, no, no, you wouldn't like it. This might seem like a weird question now. Go on. But do you think, let's see a predator like that. Okay.

That almost feels like he's read a book on how to do it. It's almost like textbook. All these guys, they seem to know exactly how they're. Do you think that's trial and error? Or it's like, they're just very good. They know how to manipulate children. Or is it just very easy to manipulate children? Well, I don't know. Like, they say this about...

And not get caught. Yeah, they say that, like, their predators, they know how to pick their prey. So they know they can, for whatever reason, sniff out the one kid who they know they can abuse. The one with the limp. And the, yeah, but the king... And the bad parents, stuff like that. He won't squeal. He won't tell.

anyone yeah basically broken homes of a yeah all that shit like i know what i'm doing i don't know if there's like a how to like pedophilia for dummies or anything like that but uh there's one idiot he's like i don't know what i'm doing i try to molest the the prince of england i tried to wagg off little baby george fucking tatey comes in giving it all that and then william well william wasn't there he was doing a podcast with Peter Crouch but uh but yeah no it's just a very

it's an insane story but it's one that's still very underreported and it's a it's an area that went completely unchecked but it just seems whenever there's like the Catholic Church or Hollywood child actors same thing the parents are like oh

this this coach really thinks you've got something you can make it to the big time so go sleep in his house tonight right now And don't tell us about it. You all play for Mountain City. Some days they'll be bought by Muslims. And then you'll see.

So yeah, but I imagine this is a huge problem that went on mass, as they say. Now, in that BBC documentary, they did allude to, there was a footballer called Gary Speed. I've seen it at Gary Speed. And he killed himself. But it turns that he also went to the same academy where Barry Bannel was. Now, he never told anyone that anything happened to him. but it was just a very strange like he had the wife and kids

he had a great life Everhand was great and he just killed himself I haven't done too much research into Gary Spee I'm not too sure if that's been hinted that before yeah but I like there is a lot of players with stuff like that and a lot of players I think I mentioned before

there's a kind of a fecal element with some players and I've all suspected that might have some do with abuse as well like No what do you mean there's fecal like what they like feces yeah I know it's shit yeah oh shit

shit out their bum Yeah But why are you footballers Why is there a fecal fascination? I've heard a lot of stories What are you basing that on? Especially back in the day of a lot of like You know you shit in someone's shoes

Yeah You shit in their locker And there's the whole thing about Like children who've been abused With sometimes like Shit weird If you're like into like If you're into that kind of thing

Okay So it's child psychology I mean like So they're like Hold in their shit Or they'll like They'll act out in a very weird way like that And if your kids doing that

that's definitely that say it's something to do with sexuality and something about like you know I'm not going to get into it but like you know penetration

and stuff like that yeah and controlling their own body and stuff like that so basically if you know if one of your mates back of the day

was like hey guys check this out and just took a big shit somewhere if any of your mates use the whoopee cushion yeah that's interesting

now I never knew about that I'll do more research in that now please do I definitely wouldn't be surprised It was way more into it

There's a guy on True Geordie a while ago He was talking about very openly I forget his name now But it's very common So like we've had the footy Yes Hollywood and the church Yeah

What's the next big thing That's going to fall The next institution Oh I mean what else is there That's basically the big tree Yeah isn't it Like religion sport

And entertainment What else is there? Yeah it's not like It's not like he's like I was a lot of kids Got molested and banking It's not it's not the same thing yeah I don't know

I mean gymnastics obviously has a big problem but that's a sport and swimming as well with that O'Toole guy not Brian you wish was I going to say though the fucking

but yeah so just like those youth academies but you know go back to you said fecal fascination another thing that seems to be plagued footballers in their adult life is sexual assault they just love raping bitchies

and hotel rooms. Well, again, that whole thing about imprinting. Yeah. So that's the commentator is like, if you,

imprint, okay. That means like, it's almost like you teach them, this is the thing that you do, okay? This is just what guys.

Yeah, you hold them down and you know, if you feel scared, that's normal. So now when you're older and bigger, rapid digging,

Rubber digging rapids, bro. Oh, fucked it on. It's okay. You can win them back later on. So that's like,

you teach them something like that's a normal power of sexuality and then they do on. So when else, and of course, that's another sign there. Also, some of them just like to rape. That's also another thing.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're a footballer who's raping women and you didn't get molested, shame on you. Yeah. Shame on you, sir. Well, I think about footballers, well, especially you're very powerful, you've got a team around you, is I'd say one time you go out, you get fucked up and you hit a bouncer. Yeah. Or you glass someone. Yeah.

That's kind of extreme example. Like you say, you throw a glass to someone, okay? Yeah. And it hits them. They cover it up and it's like, oh. Right. I guess there's no responsibility. No consequences. I can do whatever I want. Yeah, so you don't go down. Well, I've learned my lesson. I won't do that again. You're like, I guess I can do it every time I go out and it escalates. God, should have been a footballer, shouldn't I? But yeah, so that was just the Barry Bennell thing. It's an interesting story. The show floodlights. It was okay. It was more so the acting was good. There was a few kind of cheesy stylistic choices that I didn't really.

care for. They're trying to make it for a mass audience. I always prefer the documentary over the dramatized version. Yes, yeah.

Actually, I had a conversation with someone recently. I want to get your opinion, okay? So we were talking about a lot of times you might say like,

okay, you hear about a story and you're like, okay, there's a documentary about it it's meant to be very good, then there's a drama about it's meant very good. Let's say Foxcatcher, for instance. Okay,

so there's the Foxcatcher movie and the Fox Catcher documentary. Which one do you watch first? We had a big discussion about this. Hmm. Because I always watch the narrative first and then the documentary. Yeah, I think that's a good way to go because you got the narrative film and it's like if you don't know the real story, you can't get swept away.

You get an extra little, oh, like a reveal moment or whatever. Whereas like the documentary, you watch that first, you kind of know everything that's going to happen in the movie. But like, and then, yeah, no, I would agree with you. Movie first, documentary second. Or, no, actually, two separate screens playing simultaneously showing, both. While I'm wanking. I'm just jerking off. Steve Carey. Give me that Mark Rufelow.

Yeah. All right. So we're about 40 minutes in. Yeah. Do you want to go into Shehulk or Master Disguise? Should we just do Master's Guys and if we have time, Shehulk at the end? I mean, I think we'll probably, I think we'd be able to do both. Yeah, go on. Okay, right. Which one you want to do first? Let's go Master of Disguise. So I've always heard about this movie called Master of Disguise.

Yes. written by and starring Dana Carvey. Carvey. Described Dana Carvey's career because it's a very interesting it's kind of like a collection of failures. Yes, one more spectacular than the other.

He's kind of like your friend who's funny but he just keeps fucking up and drunk driving and like crashing the people. They're like, well he's funny but that's becoming less and less relevant. Yes, yes. So Dana Carvey started off in SNL but his first really big thing was he played Garth in Wayne's World

with Mike Myers. So they were like this sort of comedy duo Dream Team. The sketch started an S&L. It got the big movie. And like SNL have done a few movies from sketches. I don't think any of them really hit as big as Wayne's World. Never as big as Wayne's World. That got a sequel. It was huge. Can you name any other SNL movie to go a sequel? No. Exactly. Yeah. I can't, I can barely name it. Blues Brothers 2000. 1000. Okay, you're right yeah. Literally one of the worst things

I've ever seen in my life. But anyway So, Wayne's World is fucking huge, Wayne's World 2, so they have that big pairing. But then there's a bit of a rift in the, Mike Myers goes off, he does Austin Powers. Man, he does Shrek and Austin Powers. Huge. Absolutely, like, Wayne's World

was big. It was big, like, it had a mainstream audience, there was like catchphrases, it was a big thing. It was a blip in comparison to Austin Powers, which was a blip in comparison to Shrek. Man, I think about that. It just went from strength to strength with Mike Myers.

So imagine that, like, so it's me and you, okay? Yes. You do one series that does three movies, and they're all huge. Like, Austin Powers, each one does it bigger and last. Yes. Okay? And one was it Beyonce. Yes. And that's, not on compared to the other one that went for like five movies and

like a fucking spin-off. Yeah, and like a Christmas special. And like, we're talking kids movies back when cinema, this is back before streaming services. it must have made billions merchandise just toys my visa was broke

happy meals and you always meant to be Farley look how lucky Mike Myers is Farley decided to take a little sleep Mike Myers killed Chris Farley I've never been more sure

of anything That Canadian scumbay Oh hello there And then what did he do To honour his friend Chris Farley He does the fat bastard character

Fat Bastard Big fat sweaty sad man with a Scottish voice. The same voice that Farley would have done in Shrek. I'm telling you, man. Mike Myers killed Chris Farley. So imagine you have gone off to do these big

movies, okay? And everyone loves you. And I'm like, well, I'll show them to do well. Yeah. And now, prior to this, like Dana Carvey, he had the Dana Carvey show, which failed. And I'll be honest, I've watched that. It's not funny. Like, it's funny in a way where it's like

some of sketches like, oh, I can't believe you got done. TV. Pretty much, yeah. I can't, that long, unfunny sketch, almost like an anti-comedy thing. It's like, oh, the president has nipples. Yeah, but it's like eight nipples, like a dog. Yeah. There's something about Dana's, and there's a lot of comedy like this where...

It's gross. No, well, no, it's like stoner comedy without the weed. Wow, that's perfect. That's a perfect description. Where it's like, it's not even like, there's not even the charm of like, dude, what if a cat was president. Yeah. You're right though It's just kind of weird

kind of surrealist Kind of like American Monty Python But not charming at all Yeah And it was actual There was actual weight with Monty Python Like some Yeah

Clever stuff in there With the It was almost like it was Calculated silliness Yeah whereas the data carvey stuff And kind of shit that we've seen Come afterwards in that vein Sort of has an almost content

For a mainstream audience It's like Yeah This is so weird And fucked up and stupid and we're making you watching. And that's the joke. It's like, oh, okay,

well, I've had a hard day and I just want to be entertained, but good. I'm glad you're, you know, living your truth through your art. This is better than Shrek. So, the day in this show, I don't know how long it lasts. I think it was a big, big show. I think they taught me the next S&L.

And it didn't last that long. It kind of, they gave it like a prime time slot and it didn't even last the full season. I know by the end, they were sponsored by a Chinese restaurant. Yeah. That's not a joke. And there was big names, like obviously, Louis wrote for it, Stephen Colbert. Steve Correll.

Steve Correll. Dino, Steianopoulos, wherever his name is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a lot of talent, but yeah, it just, it failed spectacularly. So then he had a few movies that no one's heard of. Yeah, what were some of those? One was like Christmas in Paradise, which you never heard of. There was like two other, they're all movies like, I've seen it post.

Wait, no, is that trapped in Paradise? and it's Nicholas Cage and John Lovitz and Dana Carvey. I look to some of the movies he made in this period and they're all things like guy and a girl and it's him like on the post being like, well, like that.

And a girl would be like, I can't believe him, but I love him. He's got glasses. Oh my God. Big City dog. And he's like him, he's turned into a dog. You know, it's like stumb shit like this you've never heard of.

It's like, is this a parody or a real movie? Right. So this was, this now. master of disguise, this was his last gas, okay, this was his last chance. His last hurrah. He teamed up with Happy Madison. Yeah, so that's Adam Sanders production company who've had like huge

they had around this time, well they're kind of starting to get into their downward spiral around that time but they had like Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky Waterboy, big huge movies critically despised but commercially successful as fuck. 2002, 3, they did

anger management with Jack Nicholson. Oh, I forgot to mention as well, Before this movie Dana also has a sitcom called One of the Boys with Nathan Lane that apparently lasts like two episodes and considered one of the worst things ever. Nathan Lane and Mickey Rooney

kids. So Yeah. And it didn't go well for some reason. No, it was before its time if TikTok was around at one of, oh that shit slaps bro, it's Mickey Rooney dog. It's beast. Yeah. So now Master Disguise.

Yes. So meant to be the big thing. it came out the same week as Austin Oh no the week after Austin Powers Austin Powers Maybe Austin Powers 2 2002 yeah so Austin Powers 2 I believe It came out very very close to I think

This Pliu Shagmi Okay yeah So it's not a good movie It didn't do well And watching it It's kind of insane That it was shown on a TV Like not even a cinema

That fact it was shown like at all Like it's pretty insane I mean like I had heard of it but then you said you were going to watch it and I looked it up. It has 3.2 on IMDB and 0 and Rotten Tomatoes and it's in

the like all-time worst movies ever made list. It's like considered one of the worst things that ever happened. So let's go through it really quickly okay? Now what struck me immediately is you're immediately bored this movie okay? Because this is like, oh yeah oh yeah, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

and it's like a book And it's slowly turning pages And it's the cast of the movie Okay, so it's like D-D-Dena Carvey is And the page turns very slowly Master of Sky starring Page turns very slowly

Dana Carvey and page turns And it's like, I'm not exactly It's like about five minutes Of a page slowly turn and the whole cast And Brett Spiner With James Brolin With That's disgusting

Garmin Esposito Is it meant to be really long and frustrating? I don't even think so. It looks like it was, it looks like someone made it like flash animation, like real like last minute. We're like, oh shit, we forgot an opening. Yeah. Paranese is a very short movie. It's at best like 80 minutes, maybe 75 minutes.

But they had to, for it to qualify as a feature lens because it was only 65 minutes. Man, the credits are like 15 minutes. Not exaggerating because it's all these bloopers and dumb shit. Yeah. So basically all the fucking B-roll and bloopers deleted scenes got cut together and shown during the credit sequence just to make it along the runtime long enough for it to qualify as a feature lens. For 90 minutes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So after this boring page turning shit, we cut to like some kind of like robbery. Again, that page turning thing was probably just to stretch out time. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we cut to a robbery and it's Bo Derek, robbing Brent Spiner who plays data in Star Trek. trek, all right? He also was that long-heard, goofy scientist

and independence game? You got it, buddy. Exciting. People are dying out there. Exciting isn't the word I use. Who brought the Bulls kill? So it's Bo Derek or some woman, okay? I was quoting President Bill Pullman from Independence Day there.

So you didn't like it, but the hit cats will be it. I got it, okay. Welcome to Earth. I'm just trying in my head trying to figure out how just like to do it. Yeah, you know that alien? he talks shit about Jay to Pinkett's bald head so Will Smith's like

Slap! Welcome to Earth Dogg! Anyway, sorry, go on So it's a woman robin shit. Remember that, kids? The slap! The slap! Go on. So it's a woman robin something, okay? And then she pulls her mask off turns out is James Brolin.

Father of Josh Brolin. He was like a big movie star like in the 60s. Yeah, he's married to Barbara Streisand, I believe. Oh, God. So it turns out he comes from a long line of like shape shifters so they know how to be masters

of disguise. Oh man reptilian shit. And they've been around since the dawn of time. This is Illuminati's shit. Exactly yeah. It's the Illuminati, reptilians, Jews. They're all in there. They're all Danes. Well, the masters have disguised.

So they show some examples of the past of like what they've done to help history. And one of them is like it doesn't even make sense like one of them is like to have Abraham Lincoln's being boring okay

and then the master this guy dressed up like Abraham Lincoln starts dancing and then another one no that's not too honest when you said that is like Abraham Lincoln was being boring

so the guy turned into John Wilkes Booth and shot him that would have been funny no that wouldn't happen he starts dancing to like everybody dance now

so it's not even like accurate to the time period no it's not and then another one it's like what's his name is going to cut down a tree

I think George Washington is going to cut down a tree and then the guy is a tree so he turns to a tree and then like runs away

so George Washington can't cut it down Wow that's stupid yeah it's very silly it is silly it is silly

isn't it but James Brolin he's sick of his life of being a yeah so he's not going to teach his son about being an interdimensional

pedophile vampire so he's not going to teach his son how to be an interdimensional pedophile vampire Masters of the skies, Joe Rogan, I'm telling you now. So his son, Dana Carvey, okay? Yeah. Was born, though, with this uncanny ability to mimic other people.

So in school, he'd be mimicking the teachers. But they're shape-shifting. No, they don't really shape-shift. It's good of mimicking. It's very hard to describe their power sets this movie. Okay. It's always changing. It's almost as if it's underdeveloped and not really thought through.

sometimes Dana Carvey turns into a completely different person sometimes just turns into like him

wearing a wig sometimes he's a pie that's not an exaggeration he does become a pie at once too and then Jason Biggs

walks in with a big cock a big Jewish cock and then Eugene Levy's like

that's my boy go on fuck that pie shot yes yes okay so he won't

teach his a reference to American pie for the younger listeners. Very big movie back of the day. Welcome to Earth. A pie? Oh, it talks some shit on Jada too. So he won't teach his son

about his master of sky skills. So his son grows up in Italy as a pizza chef and he has a real Italian like, oh, papa, I must have learned to make a pizza. Okay. And his mother's got a big ass.

It's very important. Big fat age. Yeah, real big fat ass. So it's knocking over stuff. Right. And then he's a loser, okay? He gets bullied a lot. But then someone kidnaps his dad and his fat-ass mother.

And then his granddad shows up and teaches him the ways of the master disguiser. Right. Because, oh, yeah, Brent Spiner has kidnapped James Brolin, okay? And he wants him to steal certain things. And he gets loads of funny scenes of him stealing things that you wouldn't believe, okay? Okay. Like, in one of them, he dressed up like Jesse Ventura. Yes.

And takes the Liberty Bell. You're telling me, then I have to steal the Liberty Bell for the Illuminati? Let's run by Dana Carvey. Yo, I'm telling you, Jesse, that's what's up right now, why? He's motherfuckers controlling this shit. Dana, I really don't think you should be doing that voice. I know it's 2003, but it's going to bite you in the keister.

Well, a lot of... I'm a bit of a master of disguise myself here. Well, the only thing is, like, a lot of like, as a master's guy he's basically blackface That is like Hey I'm sold

Hey what's your struck oil Stop drilling He does do an Eddie Murphy impression in one stage Really? Yeah Pretty good I'm in the movie

Here we go O'Don Carvey Pretty good He does a Shrek impression as well And the jokes No one likes it Oh that's good No yeah

There was a big rift Between them too Right him and Mike Myers Yeah I think All of Mike Myers Is success and money And critical acclaim really hit stuck in his

crawl a little bit. He's a master of disguise. He also portrays an Indian man for love it. Real book-toot, real freaky-looking. Like the love guru? Yeah, exactly, but much darker. Much more offensive. Much more black-faced. Yeah. I've never seen the love guru.

I have not. I didn't realize it's him like teaching a hockey team how to play hockey. I thought it was him like dating a girl or something. I was teaching him how to fuck. No, no. He has to teach the Toronto Maple Leafs how to win the Stanley Cup. That's literally what it's about. I'm not joking. I said I was good at fuck, not puck. Oh, we got a crisscross.

Our wires are crisscross. Dinga, ding, and ding, and ding, and ding, and ding. Come me on me, yeah. Yeah, there we go. This is great, though. You have to the beta block. Oh, hey there, you big hoiser. That's culturally insensitive, eh?

Oh, what are you doing there, buddy? Yeah. I'm like, who cares with the movie? you like. So he then has to go save the day and destroy Brent Spiner. So he has to do one scene where he betrays a turtle. No, you set

me this scene. Yeah. It was one of those bizarre things I've ever watched. So there's a club called the turtle club and he's secrets about his dad and theirs. He said he dressed up like a turtle. He's like, I'm a turtle. Turtle. Are I not turtle enough for the turtle club? Yeah. And everyone's like, what the

fuck is this guy doing? It's like a bad sketch, isn't it? Yeah, really bad. And, like, obviously, that's what this movie is. It's just a series of bad sketches just for him to showcase his ability to do silly voices. It's a lot like this podcast, really, you know? There's no real frame.

You try your best to have, like, a framework and a true line, and I'm like, Oh, mutter-ganty-pie. Sorry, so please. And I ruin it doing that stuff. And I'm like, well, Brent Spiner does this. So, um, so I think you're right, It is a lot of, like, and a lot of movie parodies

where it's not like, you know, one minute he's the guy from Jaws, next minute he's Scarface, then he's George, literally, he's George Bush, and then I think he's the godfather. I mean, he is good in impressions, like, you know. I feel like this is a lot of ego here where he's like, man, it's just going to be me, and I can betray anyone.

Yeah. And it's about how good I am. And me just doing this, be a fucking hilarious. When I do the Jaws speech, Jesus Christ. Forbatham, even though it's been paraded several times and everyone knows, like we know what that five minute scene's going to entail

but he's just going to do it anyway When I say say hello to my little friend No one's ever parodyed Scarface before Yeah like this is 2003 Scarface is what like 80 Like literally 20 years ago Yeah And he's like what are you doing man

Yeah And then What else what happens then He does become a pie at one stage So what happens there He's just a pie on the table and then he climbs out of the pie and he's covered in cherries.

Okay. But he's got, it's so hard to explain. He's got like a face mask they pulls off. Right. But he puts it back on. It's very bad special effects as well.

It looks very cheap and tacky. But then like he turns to a fat woman. It's the actual fat woman with, they've just like dubbed his voice. Oh, it's just like a fat woman? Yeah, but then other times it's not the, and then like he saves the day basically. Okay.

So that's the end of it. That's the end of the movie. you think that's good to go, there is 50 minutes of bloopers and these bloopers, literally him just like dancing and him go like, hey bo bo, boo, boo, or like him like and, you know, running around

the place, so it's just all him, okay, but then the bloopers end, you're like, okay, this is it, all right? The next, it still goes. Yeah. All right, it's him like, there's like this robot he was fighting at one stage. It turns out of just a midget in the robot, and he runs around chasing the midget for a while, okay?

Wow. And then it ends, you think, it's over now, okay? Then it comes back on and he's just got the midget's head severed say Mike Myers say hello to my

mini me you cut no it's just him like sitting with like we're friends now to the midget then a dog barks they have like some

bloopers of the dog do it does like a dog in movie it's like the dog running around then it says Finn it feels like

they just very desperate any little bit of footage that was caught on camera got put into this film. You know what it feels like? You know what it is Anchorman? Then there's like a movie

made up all the cut scenes. The lost movie. Yeah, I've watched that. Not good. Yeah, it feels like that. Yeah. The lost scenes of that. So it's the cutting room floor of the cotton room floor. Yeah. And it's embarrassing. It is. I mean, it's considered one of the worst things of all time and pretty much ruined his career. He was pretty much done for...

And now he's got a podcast. Yeah. I mean, he's kind of, the only recent that he's still around and maintains any kind of relevance is that like comedians that are famous and well respected now will kind of say oh yeah i really liked jana carvey back in the day he was funny good on s andl good impressions and you know it's kind of so he's maintained a sort of relevance that way and now it's kind of like oh well he's been around so long he's a bit of an institution even though it's an institution of failure is and like he did like a stand-up special that no one watched Yeah, it was called like straight white 60.

Straight white 60 because he's a straight white 60 year old man. And they wheel him out on like talk shows sometimes and like, hey, do your, hey, do your Joe Biden. He's a very bad Joe Biden. Hey, I'm Joe Biden. Say hello to my little friend. I was watching Scarfish, man. That's too good.

That's literally too good. Or he says like, I forget what show was on. There's some show where they were like talking like, hey man, you're still good impressions. I think it was Fallon. Okay, they're like, you're still got an impression. Let's do some impression. Let's do an impression of. Oh, the wheel of impressions.

That's it, yeah. That are definitely spontaneous and weren't rehearsed particularly. Most times not black guys, I know. It's not like, yeah. Jimmy Fallon spins it. Seinfeld? Oh, can I even do that? I'll try.

Chris Rock. Now, I know I can do this. There's evidence I suppose I can. But some people here won't let me. What going on with Jimmy? Send his Tootard. He doesn't even, anyway. Yeah.

But anyway, yeah, so, but what's funny now, we talked about Mike Myers originally. Now, is there, him and Dana Carvey did the Super Bowl ad? They did a Wayne's World thing. So is there a Wayne's World Tree? Because we talked about, obviously, Dana Carvey's career took a nosedive. Mike Myers was huge for a very long time, but then after the love guru, people really soured on him. Yeah. And now he's got a show called the Pentavarit, the people fucking hate.

it's shit. I'm surprised there hasn't mean a Shrek, whatever the fuck, five or six. Yeah, yeah. He's probably just so sick of that, though. I think there's something to do with like studios changing hands or something like that. I think there was something that held up the new Shrek. The only thing Shrek

could do for him is getting more money and like... Yeah, I think he accept that. Well, yeah, but he's got, he's got so much money already, like kind of what he's what he has lost over the last 10 years or more is sort of appeal both critically and commercially.

Nobody gives a fuck about Mike Myers anymore. The critics all kind of soured on him after Love Guru. He's not relevant at all. I don't get why a lot of these guys don't just do, like, just do, like, you're, like, agents know what's the stuff that will, like, get you some praise, okay? They know, like, these are the indies that they pay like shit, but you'll get something from it.

I don't know why he doesn't do. He never really did dramatic acting, though, do we? Part from, like, in Glory's bastards, really. even then he's kind of being a silly caricature. He did the gong show, remember that? Yeah, what was that? That was another embarrassment. So a

couple of years ago he's like, I'll do the gong show in character and you're allowed, you're not allowed to use the name Mike Myers. You have to call me Colonel Fettercunt, whoever the fuck. He's like, oh, hello there, oh let's play the gong show. Which was really big like in the 50s? Yeah. And he like, let's do

a revival of it. Again, no concept of reality or what And nobody, obviously, people didn't like it. And yeah, so it's funny now, they're both, so your city, you think of Wayne's World 3 is coming? I think we're going to get Wayne's World 3. It'll probably be a

TikTok exclusive. They make it in their car. Yeah. And they can't afford the rights to any Queen songs. Yeah. And then the ends of them just doing the, tellman Louise, but for real. Yeah, no, they shot the whole thing in their car, but the garage door has been closed the whole time and it's getting smokier

and smokier. I'd be great funny actually. It'd be great to end their career is like they're like, oh, for me for me as they get smokier and smokier and smokier and they get like

Nothing really matters anyone can see nothing really matters to me swing. Yeah then it's like the because they are like passed out on the horn they're not please wake up

we're not meant to those consciousness just yet yeah yeah I died of Love Guru that's why I wanted to go out The Love Guru My proudest achievement I was too early The Love Guru will make a comeback

Actually what about the memory He played the guy who owned Studio 54 Yeah And he was like drunk He was embarrassing as well He tried to wag golf Ryan Philippi Yeah so he's had a lot of failures They both have

Okay, we're at an hour there We're still going to keep it short Okay So an hour, very fun We'll talk with Shehulk on the Patreon Oh, okay, right, okay We're at an hour are we? Yeah, I believe we are

Oh yeah, we are, yeah And it's not in the quiet out of that That's great And we're at like 11 o'clock That's not too bad, so we can do another hour We can do another one Perfect, yeah, I've got some fun stuff All right, okay

So head on over to the Patreon guys We got a few people Subscribe this week Oh really? I might get a few names and like tank people Oh yeah, that's good idea I don't want

this make-up name so And we'll see you at the next live show Whenever that will be Live show coming At some point We hope

It was meant to come sooner It was Plus it Bye I blew it I blew it