Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 158 : Homeless Gervais

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Trans people believe in God

so I hope you enjoy this. It's late. I got here a reasonable hour, but I was just hanging around on the couch. Yeah, yeah. Watching him eat my pot and noodle. I spent a lot of time

eating my pot and noodle, didn't I? And then you made himself a coffee. Yeah, yeah. Didn't ask. Anyway, how are you doing, James? Oh, good, man, all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't keep it, keeping it real.

You're heading off to Chicago soon. Any plans in Chicago? No, visit my family. I mean, it's family-orientated, so everyone's like, oh, you'll have, it'll be serious crack over there. No it won't. They're there with my

cunt family going to shit I'll probably get shot at. If I'm lucky. Yeah, come on. Put me out, me misery. See, I'm not the kind of guys I think people are like that

we're like, I'm going to be here for this amount of days. Yeah. I've got to plan as much stuff as possible. I really got to fuck myself. See, my sister will plan all that stuff. They, you know, her and I love planning all that shit.

He was going to go along. And then making me go. So kind of like Posh and Becks. I'm just going to sit there reading infinite jest, being like, Oh, David Foster Wallace was very prophetic when he talked about. We'll all get lost in our various forms of entertainment and pleasure. Get lost in a world of escapism. And your open bus tour of downtown Chicago isn't going to say,

He's got a gun. You don't go to downtown Chicago, though. Southside, that's like real bad with the gun crime. Shrack, I think it's called. Shurrack. That's what it's called. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I don't know what we're going to talk about there.

I'm kind of tired there. I'm going to drink the coffee and then we'll speed back up. Yeah, yeah. We talk about Jervais. Jervais. That will get us in the good books, you know? People think we're a bit like Jervais. We're not, for a number of reasons.

Money-wise is number one thing, yeah. Yeah, so you watch the special? I don't think you any who cares. Like, remember Chappelle? There was like a big outrage. We don't even cares. Yeah, but the reason nobody cares, like, it's shit. It's really not good at all.

I think it's funny if, like, Jervades gets confused, like trans people, believe in a lot. man in the sky who thinks you're going to go to trans heaven and he'll be forgiven for all of your

transgressions you doth bint yeah so it's a very dumb special isn't it I don't think he's ever done a second draft

no at least in a stand-up it's like lowest common denominator or just the most like obvious basic punchline and look it's not like what we do is

high art or anything. Well, no, this is a podcast, okay? Even the podcast, I feel like to go the extra step or try and, like, you know, try and be a bit funnier. This is very much like, it's like this, huh? Yeah. Oh, what?

You kill Hitler as a baby. He's Hitler as a baby. He's a dog. Yeah, he actually had the picture and everything. Yeah, yeah. That's sad, isn't it? And that bit where he's like, age is like, isn't it?

He couldn't even get through it. It was so funny. He was laughing. And about five times he said, that bit's not going in Oh, what am I like? But it did go in, so he's a liar. That's the biggest crime.

I don't think he edited at all. It was a very bad special, but in fairness, none of his specials are good. He's not a good comedian. Now, don't get me wrong. Early Jervais work, the office extras, I love. The Ricky Jervais show? Meet Ricky Jervais, remember that with Jimmy Saville?

No, that was great. I heard of it, but I never saw it. Or Ricky Jervais meets Gary Shandling. That was awesome, you know. he's like me that's my that's perfect

that's by Gary Shandling that was him for his whole life just eh yeah but no like Carrie Shandling gets very annoyed

by Ricky and so Gary was very like I want you to do nothing what do nothing but I can't not think I must think

it's like no just observe no but I can't I must think and it was just like it's all very tiring isn't it

yeah yeah you know what I was thinking about Ricky Jervais and I don't know I don't know how smart he actually is

I think he's good like just learning like five facts you know and like the facts like the Bible's not real and stuff like that or like you know hunting is bad

you know and he's like weirdly into dogs and animals the animal stuff is it's a red flag like he's raping those animals like yeah

I mean there's really not much to say but it was like you know not like offended or anything, but it was just shit. It wasn't, it was boring hard to get through. I just hate everyone involved and everyone not involved. It's difficult

because then like on Twitter like, oh what about these comedies like Nish Kumar? This is what real comedy should be like. No. Have you seen as heard as bit about Ricky Jervais? Who, Nish Kumar? Yeah, Nish Kumar is a bit about Ricky Jervais. No. It is unlistnable. Really?

That's that. That's what they sound like. You know? So, ooh, Ricky Javet, like that. It's actually a painful listen don't be transphobic It's this I don't like Nish Kumar I know the James A-Caster bit because everyone was sharing that

What where he's like He's talking about it's not a bit Like it's just him talk If that was on a podcast It was like all right But that was in a special The James Acastor one was that Well I'm a challenging comedian

What too challenging fool yeah He's shit as well Yeah it's all shit I'm seeing through looking glass Nobody's as good as me I'm the bad bad this coolest, sexiest man with the big old sausage.

The big lung sausage. Yeah. I'm the coolest one that I can do kickflips and backflips and I've got a big old slug. I'm the funniest, smartest man who ever lived

and it doesn't matter that I only shower every few months. It's not weird. It's good for the environment. It's my natural scent. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we're not going to talk about that. It's all shit.

boring. It's so boring. It's not a great special. We did watch some stuff downstairs, watch some dairy girls. Yes. I was showing you dairy girls trying to like win you over. I don't think I did. No, look, I haven't watched it. I haven't given it a proper go. The fact that everyone's like, you have to

watch it, you love it. It kind of makes me not want to watch it. But somebody made the point that I probably would identify with a lot of the stuff in it because I grew up. Basically in that, a little bit adjacent to that lifestyle. A little bit adjacent. So Monaghan a border county in the 90s. So I have a very clear memory of this one particular incident

where we were driving to Eniskillen and I was like four, maybe, yeah, about four years old so would have been like 94 and we were coming to like a border checkpoint or whatever and there was British soldiers there with like machine guns and they're like just looking in the car like there was no, they were grand or whatever but I just like kind of was in the back seat

and I go, are you looking for bombs, are you? And then the British soldiers said, Bams, yeah, we're looking for bams, yeah, yeah, he's a fanny little lad Oh, you know. And then my parents berated me for like being cheeky to the British soldier. And I was like Mother, I was, he may have been

armed with a submachine gun but I was armed with wit and humour. And that didn't plague out her, the conts slap me anyway, but I'm going to, oh, as soon as she's of age, I'm going to put her in a crooked home. It's going to be her, she'll be next to that British soldier.

They'll both be getting molested by a Puerto Rican and then I'll win. This is what Thatcher wanted all along. I want to get the shittiest most Puerto Rican nursing home I can find. I'm going to put her in the Bronx and she's going to sit there and swivel on it. But yeah, so I do, I have memories of that type of stuff, you know. So I was showing you a bit of it. Now, you didn't watch enough to fully understand what was going on.

It's very heady. I can, yeah, yeah, is that. I couldn't grasp the intellectual depth of it at all. Now, I do like the show, but very much gets by it on cast and characters. The story is not. The storylines aren't really storylines. It's like something for the B-No. It's very simplistic. It's very like, oh, we're going here. Oh, he's falling over.

It's very like, how are you at now? Oh, sure, get away about it. Oh, so there's a Protestant. Oh, the Spice Girls watch the film. Oh, ha, ha, ha, motherfucker. Yeah, and that's the show. And I get it. I see why people like it. I would probably like it, too, if I watched it. And if I was a Mongo like you, people.

Yeah, good. Once again, you are superior to the rest of them. My mother likes Derry Girls, so on principle, I refuse. to like it. Literally, you know what? Everyone else likes it. Unless I get to just sock her right in the jaw

for 12 years of abuse, just paw her right in the kiss her. Then we'll sit down and watch dairy girls together. She's got a nice sirloin steak on her fucking swollen eye. Man, it's weird how popular.

A bag of frozen peas up or twat. It's weird how popular shows, man, like globally. Yeah. Little American kids are like, oh, they're going to start talking naughty now just to fit in with all the characters like. Yeah.

It's like taking. over. It's new Star Wars. I can go to anywhere in the world. I can go to Japan and be like, What about you?

There are a lot Gels is your looking way. Ooh. I hate the Protestant to Yeah. It's an all right show. It's not a show.

The cast are very good. The main blonde girl I've always felt always overdoes it a little bit. Yeah, a lot of like facial. She contorts her face

quite a bit. It does. It does. that it creature thing does the other ones are very good the one who called tobertie a paedophile in front of his mother or whatever that was

I only read the headline so yeah basically pulled out his little cock on live television and spat on it and laughed because she wasn't even a guest he asked which do you prefer

the beano or the dandy that's actually very misogynist for you to ask me that me She was very good, though, in the show I could tell. Yeah, I love cunty women like that. I love cunts. I love cunt, and I love cunts.

Yes. It's great. And when a cunt has a cunt, oh, baby. Yeah. Yeah, I've watched, I think, on most of the second, first and second season, and watched season three now, a lot of cool people show up, like Mrs. Chelsea Clinton. Yes, I heard about that. That's pretty cool, yeah.

And Liam Neeson, so those two, you know, for more you need. And Kevin McAleer, I think, show. shows up as well. I like Kevin McAleer. I like Kevin McAleer and Chelsea Clinton. And Liam Neeson all out in the town. Yeah, exactly. It'd be great. Right, Liam, which hole do you want? I'll take anyone.

I have a particular set of bullocks that I'm going to shove in your mouth. I'm sure your daddy showed you how. Hey, man, that's not cool, Liam, all right? I want you to take in that back. I get it from the movie, man? there did the voices

we're all happy now are we're all cavalcade there and for free so watch despite how late it is yeah I know I'm not leaving

no much I'm not working tomorrow so I can just stay up as late as I won same you can't stop me I'm gonna party party hardy

I'm gonna go downstairs watch more about the Premier League I'm gonna convert you to watch London Irish which was Lisa McGee's first show that you always tell me to watch it No one else likes it.

I said it once. When did I ever say it? I think he said it was four or three years ago. I remember these things. It's pretty funny again. It's just that kind of like, you know, Northern Irish humour, but it's a little more risky, I think,

than it got slated by the critics because they made jokes about rape and incest and all sorts. Do you remember they were going to make a sitcom a few years ago about the Irish famine and people protested Channel 4? Remember that? No. Like, actually went outside Channel 4's, building and protested.

Really? That's crazy everyone's forgotten that. True potato waffles at the window. Take that, you swine. Yeah, it's crazy that people have forgotten that. Yeah,

there were going to be a sitcom set during the famine. Channel 4 we're going to make it. There was no one that you'd know attached to it. And then it just got... No one that I'd know or no one that anyone... That anyone would know,

like, it was all like newbies like... See, I have to call them on these microaggression. Yeah, there's a lot of people who would know him, yeah. Obama, you wouldn't know about that, yes. What do I got to do to get a goddamn potato in this rotten island? It's crazy. Oh, no, here come the Brits.

I'm strapped, motherfucker. Don't test me, son. What he saw about? That's Obama in your farming. This is my S&L audition. So this next character is Obama in the Irish potato farming. Oh, another one of these. I'm so sick of this hack material.

it um like impression comics they always have to like do a little set up there it's like you ever wonder what uh you know i was just wondering there on driving uh what obama be like in the famine go a little something like this yeah you'd never really done that on stage never become like an impression comic which you could have you can tell you what if you did that you know the way you got integrity yeah you got rid that fucking integrity of yours again it's dragging this boat down You'd be a rocket ship to space. You, Christopher Walking.

And you're doing the voice as well, yeah. So he's not actually there. Sean Coddery, yeah. Just me. Yeah, exactly. Here's a thing, though. A black man. Anyone.

I would never, Bill, I would never say I'm an impressionist because my quote-unquote impressions aren't good enough to be like, you know. Impressions are like art. It's the interpretation of it. So it doesn't have to be accurate, you know. This is kind of what you do with it, I guess. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I do

All of mine would just involve Hey, what would Sean Connery sound like If he was raping a pig Oh yes I'm raping this pig With my cock Squeer like a Democrat

Piggy It's just confusing And offensive And inaccurate It doesn't make any sense Yeah Well I would like to see more of it on stage Yeah

Especially when it's like a shit room. It's like, why not? To be honest, you know what it is, though? I feel, especially when you're bombing, like, bombing is painful and tragic and pathetic enough, but if you're, like, in a big act out or doing a voice and it's bombing or, like, high energy, it's just all the sadder. And I feel that I have had that experience where I'm, like, doing, like, a, hey, guys, I'm doing, like, some kind of weird voice or act out. And it's bombing. And in my head, I'm like, I am the most retarded, smelly, as fat as

piece of shit alive. I wish I was dead. You got to commit to the bit, though. You got to act out the rest of Greece to, like, really get to the no of this. Oh, wow. You knew the bit I was talking about, too. I know the bit, exactly, yeah. I hope I've ruined it there. You were there. I was always there. Why didn't you last?

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was. Yeah, what was it going to talk about? Yeah, you always weird, because I'm a tour guide now, okay? So we have little jokes in our tours. Right. And they're kind of mild ones. like crazy. I'm not like, you know, women don't have cocks.

Pickery, dickory, dickory, a bottle of whiskey was sucking my cock. Not like that. Don't go off script, Brian. There's little jokes, okay, it's early, you know, like, oh, the Irish and we have whiskey for breakfast. And sometimes to laugh, somebody's to laugh, sometimes they don't. You know, it's not like

a big thing. I'm like, what, but that was my thing? You're not like Bill Bill Maher, when they don't laugh. You're like, hmm, anti-Semites. Yeah, but there's some newer tour guides there? around to talk to them and they'd be like yeah one time we did the joke there and no one laughed i didn't like that feeling do you ever get that brine no i've never experienced that i was just

thinking there there's people don't know what you're talking about you know we do this thing where it's like a lot of time makes us feel bad stand up okay like all the time yeah just makes us feel bad i was thinking there's people who like don't do this and they feel good and they're those people i might be like they're crazy me and jerry sign for like look at those crazy people over there How do people live like that? Yeah, yeah. That old, uh, whatever. That story he tells.

I got the reference. No, yeah, yeah. The movie comedian or comedian, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Where, like, Orney Adams, they make him out to be a fucking asshole. And then, like, afterwards, people are like, yeah, I know that guy.

He's actually, he's not like that. They just really fucked him over with the editing of that movie. Editing can really do a lot. Yeah. Let's do a quick round of stuff. All right. I want to get your take on this, okay? First one here.

in Germany women can now go topless in public pools during the weekday during the weekday yeah not the weekends because apparently kids

are out around the weekend oh okay so I think about that so when there's no kids you does it there's no kids around well on the weekday so if your kid sees tits

in the weekday it's his fault it means you're a bad parent yeah exactly so why do you mean I don't know like good for them I guess you know they're always

women are all about free in the nipple. It's like, but you know what, you get your tits out and then, you know, if I look at them, I'm on the register. Where's the justice? Well, what if Sean Conry was in that German book? Oh my word, look at those.

It's beautiful. Brash. Do you think how long it'll take until we get that in Ireland? Probably like 60 years, probably. Probably, yeah. It's going to take a long, long time. We're basically going to be like Saudi Arabia compared to like Germany. I mean, yeah.

Do you want that, though? Do you want tits in the swimming pool? I would like to see, I saw a free the nipple thing in in Edinburgh one time. Okay. They're walking around with their nips out. It was like, yeah, that's nice to look out.

Yeah. Kids around? Everyone was around like old people, children, you know, and they were just doing it. Yeah, I mean, that's... Yes, I called the police. Try to them, free the knob, see how far you get.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's talk about, this, I'm going to jump into a different thing here, completely out of context. The school shooting. Yeah, yeah. In Texas.

this. Because we can make this fun. I think we can, yeah. We can talk about this. So, what is it, like, 19 children dead now? 19 children, like, primary school age? And one teacher died, yeah. It wasn't laughing at this, but what's interesting work like,

back in the day, you'd know all about this, you'd know every little move, and you'll name it a shooter and all that. Now it's just washes over you. You don't really care. We've been conditioned to be like, yeah, that's the thing that happens. And, no, I think this one is kind of, thicken with people, I think. Not for long.

Guarantee you, like... No, I disagree. Corden talked about it. James, Gordon and... Gordon did try and sort it out. Yeah, fair play to them. Like, it was all very serious. Wasn't he was talking about like,

oh, children and dying? Yeah. It wasn't Gary Gavin and Stacey, was it? Schmiffin. Yeah. No, I think this one, because it's primary school kids, so that's, you know... That was Sandy Hook as well.

No, but... Well, yeah, but Sandy Hook was a big deal, Brian. People still talk about it, show. Oh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not being like, yon boring

wake me up when it's 27 all right no I think this one it's weird because obviously we had

the Buffalo shooting a couple of weeks ago when the media talked about that it was all like

white supremacy and now this time because the shooter is actually Hispanic was he's Hispanic yeah he was

well his name is like Ronaldo Ramirez I think it's Ramirez something like that he is Hispanic he's from the town

so it was kind of like near Texas the borders Mexico so it's kind of like it was a very awesome I assume some people are going to have a real field day with that then well yeah yeah but it was in a very like small impoverished area apparently and yeah

so it was predominantly Hispanic area and so yeah because he's Hispanic the sort of narrative has shifted away from white supremacy to you know the issue of it's gun violence and what kind of like annoys me about it

is like the media just find the one they just take the horrible thing as like okay we can't use that little trick so we'll use this little trick and now that we have the altruistic platform we can just yap about it as much as we want and generate all the fucking clicks what are you talking about what do you mean

well yeah I just mean like last thing's like it's white supremacy that's the problem here people at a couple of weeks later no it's gun violence now because they couldn't use the previous one, you know what I mean? I mean, they're both like

pretty accurate in a way like, yeah, no, I know. That's sound like a, well, what do you call those, like, a queer, a liberal Nancy, okay? Oh, I understand that. It's just annoying that, like, they just have to jump from like,

you know, leapfrog from one pad to the other is like, oh shit, we can't use that, we've got to use this, but they don't actually give a shit, you know what I mean? It's just like, it's good, it's good for the conversation,

but whatever. I was reading a thing about so it was a Chinese church I think got shot up as well Yeah I didn't hear about that one But not many people did Yeah But it was a big big tragic story

Where is it What part of Somewhere in America I don't know I didn't bother reading I didn't realize There were Chinese churches Well I mean like you got like Irish church

It's a church that was popular But Chinese people It wasn't like you know We worshipped the year The rat or anything like We worshipped Jackie Chan I didn't assume that Oh I assumed you assumed it

So who's the real Chinese person now What is it Catholicism I'm not I don't I'm not gonna get into the weeds of the Chinese religion or he might not even have religion

Yeah It was a Chinese church anyway And a Taiwanese guy came in and shot up the place Yeah There's a lot of tension between Taiwan and China Obviously you know about all that

Yeah So like because of that He shut up But reading an interesting thing And people on Twitter were making fun of it But I think there is something to it Okay

Whereas Chinese guy was saying How when he first heard About the shooting He assumed like Oh definitely a white guy Okay And he said that he kind of had been

kind of adjusted and kind of knew how to respond to that because he's heard on news so much like okay white guy does the condition yeah

so white guy does this I know how to feel I know like okay I don't like this okay and he said when he found it with a Taiwanese guy

he felt like this weird thing was like oh this is different you don't have the narrative straight away of what's going on

so like white supremacy and white like that kind of violence like okay white guy angry killing minorities want to kill minorities.

That kind of makes sense. And it shouldn't make sense. That was his point. But you'd be conditioned to think it's almost like a hurricane. It was like, yeah. Yeah. That kind of happens, okay?

Not what you can do. And then he said it was actually a Taiwanese guy and it kind of brought up a lot of uncomfortable conversations about relationships between Taiwanese people and Chinese people. It becomes a lot more nuanced, which of course is not, you know,

an area that the media like to spend too much time. You're very anti-media. I'm actually, I'm going to take the side of pro media here. How are you pro-media? You got to tell, you know, they're, but give me a moment. Okay. Well, that's a very vague question.

Which media are you talking about? It doesn't matter. I'm not, this isn't a bipartisan issue. I'm talking about just like this sort of 24-hour news cycle, just like, I don't know. So 24-hour news, yeah, they're just like getting what the can. They want to get, they want to get the crying widow and not the crime, like, they, I guarantee you what to do, okay? There's just a very, it's a very, slap the widow around the bit.

Yeah, you know what I mean? It's just, I don't know, it's a moral grey area And of course, like, that's the nature of the beast It's like giving out about capitalism It's a very broad and vague thing It just is kind of like Okay, last week was white supremacy This week it's gun violence

And it's the same shit You're saying that but I don't think it's that simple I think you were the one who were missing out on new ones How so? Well, I mean like It's kind of the same thing With the white supremacist thing Like he also was getting guns

So that's kind of connected, okay? But it's like, you know, didn't so much focus on... And he also was a white supremacist, I believe. Yeah, I know that, but I'm just saying, no, I know that it's true. I know that there is a problem with white supremacy. I'm just making it clear for people who are listening.

Because I feel like, some people listening be like, I knew it. That I want, don't... No, he was a Taiwanese bad who did it. James Caden is from Taiwan. I knew it. I'm a Taiwanese white supremacist. I'm very confused. But I don't know.

Yeah, so it, like, there's not... I mean, yeah, so 19 kids and a teacher he was only 18 as well this kid. Yeah, very, very young as well. So, like, he literally... And he killed his granny, I believe. Which seems to be a common trait with all these shooters. Sandy Hook guy as well, they kind of kill their... Kill their parents first.

Parents, but a lot of times it's the parental kind of motherly figure in their lives. Yeah, yeah. Let's try and figure it out right now. Why is that? Well, I mean... The mother, the womb, the cunt. Return to the cunt. The sort of in-cell thing, I guess. You kill the cunt.

Yeah, yeah. So he killed the hole he came out of. So it's almost like, you know, no turning back now. Yeah. Well, it is sort of like, okay, now I've, you know, that sort of looming presence of authority I've gotten rid of now. So now there are no rules. I can do anything.

And that they, more often than not, they'd just like to go out and shoot people. Yeah, like, I have some friends. I won't get too into it, like, but you notice a very, very big difference when that parental figure die. Sometimes the grandfather, sometimes the father, okay? Yeah. But you do notice it's almost like this kind of, of weight

it's being lifted off their shoulders maybe not weight but it's like there's a presence there and it's gone and now a lot of times

it can be like oh okay now I kind of feel like I can be myself now or now I can shoot up a school it's one of those two

okay either you like you get start or you do stand up comedy and now in retrospect like God

I wish we had easier access to guns over here you know I would have saved myself a lot of

embarrassment yeah everyone involved be like yeah he picked the right choice yeah it's the better one so yeah apparently now it's coming out though he had sort of like obviously he was posting pictures of himself with guns on Instagram but apparently

there was like on a like 4chan message board like it was a or maybe a subreddit of a game there was somebody who just like put up this very detailed elaborate like step by step thing of how they'd carry out a mass shooting and then some people are like oh it's like you know

might be this guy that actually put it up or whatever oh there's a lot of Basically, he left a lot of breadcrumbs online. I heard there was massive, massive, like, warning signs about the guy. Yeah. Like, he had a lot of very active internet presence. Yeah. And, like, he was talking about this stuff online.

To girls. Like, he kind of messaged random girls on, like, Bumble or Tinder or whatever. Did it work? Because I'm kind of desperate right now. There's, like, screenshots. There's, like, this one girl's like, hey, just keep an eye out for, like, next Monday because I'll be making you famous or something. like that or something to

that effect and he carries out this shooting and then she fell in love with him. Yeah, exactly. He's actually dead now, isn't he? He was shot. Yeah, he was shot by the cops, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, like, this is all kind of it's only happened in the last couple of days, so we're still trying to... I'm going to be on the scene

next week. I'm going to, like, find out. I'm going to wear a big magnifying glass dressed up like Sherlock Holmes, but elementary, my dear, Watson. Now, originally there was sort of, there was some kind of like crazy fucking like conservative politician

you know how some of them sort of bleat they leaned into the Q and on thing and all that shit so this is one of those guys I can't remember who it was but he tweeted like this thing because there was a picture going around of like a trans person who kind of looked a bit like the shooter no it wasn't the shooter

wow I fell I fell for that yeah I was like okay Ricky Jervais was right but yeah no so there was a picture of a trans person who kind of looked a lot like this guy and yeah people were like oh see it was a trans person who did it

so yeah that guy there's almost like something impressively evil about that where the second you see something bad you're like okay I can do I can fuck some trans people here as well and this is awesome like or same like you know the fact that he's like Hispanic or some shit you're like

okay perfect now this backs up what I was saying in the pub about Mexicans awesome okay it's like this has worked out perfect for me Trump was right trust the plan to trade the swamp

So yeah Apparently the FBI Kind of drop the ball here as well But I'm reading there's a good few times For the FBI being dropping the ball Of a very A lot of the time they're doing this Yeah

Yeah yeah I mean it's you know It's an increasingly volatile part of the world Well the school shootings They're speeding up now Yeah There's more and more violence What you were saying earlier As like we're kind of

Like school shootings People are sort of immune to them now The only one The only reason this one's getting so much distraction is because it's primary school. It's the numbers, but the thing is like with the numbers as well, it was all apparently in one room as well. Yeah, so fish in a barrel

kind of thing. Yeah, but he's also, he's kind of like padding the stats. No skills, bro. Padden the stats, kind of like, you know, like a striker kind of stays near the goal and then let someone else pass it to him. It's exactly like that. And he bought the gun only like two weeks after his 18th birthday. So he turned 18, and within maybe six weeks or a month,

he goes out and carries this atrocity with an AR-15, he bought legally. So obviously the gun issue, I am not in any ways of baiting that it's insane. We talked about it before. I'm a bit of a bit more pro-gun. You're pro-gun.

In a lot of senses. But I do think, like, we were listening to some guy talk about how, like, there is, like, a bill that's, like, basically on people's desk that could, like, really enforce, like, backup checks,

background checks. Yeah. And there's, like, a few guys that are, like, constantly just not voting on it. So it's like... Because of the sort of the NRA lobby and stuff. Yeah, so it's just been stuck there. Who was that?

That was that coach. Steve Kerr. So I showed you a video by, by Steve Kerr and this, very interesting now, this has been doing the rounds all over Twitter. If you look up the... Opportunistic and cynical, Steve Kerr

using this narrative, just you're trying to boost your own platform. I heard he gave that guy money and said you do that there. It's a sci-up dude. It's going to help us win the big game. MK Ultra, bro. So I'll get in Steve Kerr in one moment. It's an interesting guy, all right? But

the thing I noticed is he went viral. If you go on Twitter, He was the first thing that came up, okay? It was all like powerful speech, amazing sentiments. I mean, insult to injury for the parents. Steve Kerr's trending number one. Yeah, exactly. After your kids slaughtered, that's got to sting.

I didn't see a Biden video. I know there was a Biden statement, but no one really cares about it. Kamala Harris Zilch. I think she's basically dead at this stage. No one's seen her in ages. Oh, yeah. I did see Biden's saying, he was like, what's going on here, man?

This is crazy. You can't. we need to do something about the gunge man and people are like yeah that's you you do you could do that if there's a problem i think he can't i don't know if he can no executive action order maybe it's not quite as simple and black and white as that but he is i mean i don't think there's anyone in more prominent position that could have an impact on it if he really tried to put the screws to them he could or just talked about more there is a huge as we say like nora lobby and that you know the lobby thing really has a way bigger impact

than people are willing to even admit. A lot of people don't even realize the sort of the lobbying system in Washington how it really fucks with shit over there. Is it just legal bribes? Pretty much, yeah, yeah. Basically, yeah. I mean, like, huge multinational corporations

will give millions to both the Democratic and the Republican parties. So it's basically like split the difference. Whoever gets in office, they owe us a favor now. I wonder we're researching the NRA, So her financially, well, at one stage they're saying they weren't doing too well financially and that they'll leave. I think the office in New York and they got to fuck out there because it's a losing battle in New York.

I was going to focus on the southern states. And the Midlands and stuff. But it's like when they say like we're not doing too well, now I think about it. It was probably the way like, please help us, you know, kind of like getting some sympathy. And I fell for a hooked on the sinker. And I sent them, I remorgeted the house. I sent them everything. I killed my mother, sent them the corpse.

so please Mr. Ennery. Yeah. Will you get Charlton Heston to return my phone calls now? For my call, dead hash. Oh yeah, so yeah, Steve Kerr. So my point was,

he went viral and people loved it. No one really cares about Joe Biden, not that reassuring when you hear him talk about something. No, again, it was like very like, this is ridiculous, man. These guys, the new top gun movies coming on.

I'm not going to be able to enjoy it, man, thinking about the kids. That's my new executive order. Each family member of the victims get tickets to the premiere of Top Gun 2, man. The Mat-N-A. Miles Teller's there. You got Val Kilmer.

You can go to the Val-Kilmer Q&A. Don't expect much. But, yeah, so again, he wasn't very reassuring. And Steve Kerr comes on. And he gave... A little bit too impassioned. I thought it was very good.

Now, I like Steve Kerr. I've drank the Kerr Kool-Aid. What do you think? As a novice, not novice, someone, an outsider perhaps. A Mongo. Yeah, as a fucking idiot. A dog-brain.

Can I explain Steve Kerr? Go on. So Steve Kerr, player and coach over the years. Start off, well, he was on number teams, but he's most famous for being on the Bulls in the 90s. Oh, with Mr. Michael Jordan. So he won a number of rings with Michael. Okay.

And I think he went off, and he would want another ring with someone else. I believe the Spurs, but could be wrong there. But he won a lot of rings there. Then he became a manager or coach. Coach, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he did very, very well. Now, you could say that he was kind of lucky a little bit because he became a coach with an assistant coach for a while,

then became a coach with a bunch of very, very good players. Like, generation, like, people say some of the best. Steph Curry, if you know him. Yeah, I've heard of Steve Curry. Draymond Green, you probably heard of him. No, I haven't heard of him. He's a bit of a dirty player. He goes for the balls a lot.

You know, he, like, accidentally waxing the ball sometimes. A bit of a Vinnie Jones. Exactly, yeah. Black Vinny Jones. Terrifying. Protect Gazza at all costs. Why, I bet you can he believe it? Does he know?

Oh, Paudiel! Help me quick. And Clay Thompson. So a lot of really good talented players. But also he's a very good coach. He's a very good man management. He's kind of like a little bit zen, you know, a little bit like calm. But he is very political.

I was getting, but all right. He's a very political guy over the years, but like not like crazy political. stuff that like shouldn't really be like something you have to like you know like racism is bad sure they shouldn't the murder george fly you know stuff like that you know um but he has become popular is it not a bit sort of opportunistic trendy hopping on the bandwagon well then what we're supposed to do then cadden well what would you do then just children being shot right there and i'm like should we help them like is it really is a virtue signaling i'm just saying man he's a fucking he's a basketball coach like you know what i mean now he doesn't experience though

because his dad got blown up by terrorists. The Mon Stars from Space Jam. Yeah, I was like deleted scene, yeah. No, so his dad, I think, was in Lebanon. He was like a translator

or like, what he called those guys? Not dictator, ambassador or something like that. And he got blown up to fuck, all right? Oh, like his spleen was over there and his cock was over there, yeah. And never the twain shall meet.

Yeah, now, look, he's basketball coach, they're there before the game and obviously it was before the game as well. The press junk in it they're there just to talk about the game right

and he comes out we're not talking about the game there's kids getting murdered and it's wrong and he's like slamming his fist on the table I just thought he was kind of he was being a bit over the top

it wasn't I wouldn't you know obviously his heart's in the right place and what he's saying is true I do believe the passion is real felt like maybe he was putting a little extra spice on it sort of slamming the table

and it's like this is a disgrace it's wrong it just felt a little bit overactive do you want to get one of Brian's theories

go on this one of Brian's theories I just come up with on the spot okay so I'm freestyle here I think

every generation we're getting more and more cynical we were like the snake eating its own tail where we're

so cynical we're almost disabled okay in fact you see all it's disabled people they're not even

disabled just very very cynical just reading too much postmodern literature they love Daria, okay?

So, whenever we see actual sincerity, now it's basically only in movies, because they're so closed off. So when we see sincerity now, it's from actors who are doing fake sincerity. So when we see sincerity in real life, it's almost like...

You think he was completely 100% like genuine, there was no kind of like you know, hamming it up slightly for the cameras at all, 100%. I'm talking to, he's very good at basketball

back in the day, yeah. Well, that's what he should talk about that. But if you are hamming up a bit, you can ham it up for the right reasons. Oh, the end justifies the means. Is that what you're saying? Exactly, yeah, exactly, yeah. I'm only following orders.

Well, look, I don't know. I just, you know, again, I don't know this guy. Do you think I made a good point there? It's almost like you watch porn all the time. When you see like two fat people riding, you're like, that looks weird. Yeah. Same like with that when someone tries to get children.

I'm being shocked. To be honest, I would say kind of the opposite. We're sort of coming out like the sort of 90s, early 2000s, cynicism was a lot more potent, I feel. Now, there's almost a push towards like, kind of faux sincerity of like,

oh, I support you, I acknowledge you, I'm here for you. Really, it's opportunistic. You're doing it for yourself to boost your platform, but you're sort of coming in with the guise of, oh, and everybody just sort of buys into this sort of social facade and bullshit.

You ask me, there's not enough fucking cynicism. There's too much just willingness to be like, I know you're full of shit. You know I'm full of shit, but we're both going to pretend like we care about this thing because it's good for us. That fake stuff there,

that cynicism wearing a hat. It's not real. I'm talking real sincerity from the heart, from the fucking balls over here. So I'm talking about real sincerity. So when you see real sincerity, don't talk with Steve Kerr here. I'm talking about...

Yeah, I'm getting all fucking up for. but I am saying... I am too. It's late. That thing I was saying earlier, the media are using the... Oh, the narratives. Even while I was talking,

it's like, what the fuck am I talking about? It's late. But the media, they're bad. Anyway, sorry, go up. But you're right, though.

I get what you mean. Yeah, when we do... Now, Steve Kerr is an example there. And maybe he was doing a bit, because maybe he told, like, if I put a bit of stank on this, I can help change the law a bit. So I think he...

But I don't think he was like, it's my time to shine. Now I can be... famous. I think I think he's doing okay. He's won a number. I think he's won three championships maybe four as a coach

so he's won a load as a player and a coach. He's probably came third in the list of the greatest NBA coaches ever. That's good. Those are all great credentials. That's why he should stick to talking about basketball. Now you're basically saying shut up and dribble. Remember that to LeBron? Remember that mean white woman said that? I never said that.

All I'm saying is there's a reason I don't ask my butcher to make me a for bread, all right, pal. Okay, the gun lobby, you're right. It's bad, but did you tell me about tonight's game, maybe? That's why I'm here. And they lost that game as well. There you go. To the Mabs.

Yeah. The Mavericks. Because when they asked the coach from the Mavericks, he's like, what? Some dickhead got shot? Awesome. Yeah. Check out the titties on this horse. That's what a coach should be. Just trying to bang a cheerleader. No, you're right, though. We are, there is a

too much cynicism. Of course, I'm as bad for it as anyone. Do you want to hear another one in my tears? Sincerity disgusts me. It does. I do with a problem as well. It makes me sick. There's a lot of people in my life now because I kind of like, I've changed social circles now and I've a lot of normies now in a good way, okay?

Trying to drag them to a strip club. Yeah, exactly, yeah. They wouldn't come because they're bunch of normies, all right? I'm all cynical in the strip club. But sometimes when they're getting hard, ironically. When they're just being like nice to me, I do sense myself being like,

get the fuck away I have to like fight that so it's like a magnet two magnets that are the same polarity wherever like that it's like pushing me away I'm trying to fight it

but I can't accept that hug yeah good well you were you gonna tell me another theory yeah I just got a bit real for a minute

oh sorry was I meant to it's like I see you Brian I acknowledge you no because that's the fake stuff yeah yeah you are my centre no that's just the media

That's just all about white violence Shut up Yeah The media just wants us to be friends And you're drinking the cool in it The media says I shouldn't slap you around If you do a bad job

Don't listen to that nonsense Now I'm thinking about this there for a while I think women like having ugly boyfriends You kind of This was one of your theories From a couple weeks ago I'd be expanding on this a lot I'd walk around Dublin staring a couple's

being like, huh, backs up my theory. I'm like a scientist. And you're saying out loud

and they're like, what? Yeah, bleeding, what? So, I think before,

women like have an ugly boyfriends. Because I think women have low self-esteem because societies

have mentioned loads of times, okay? Okay. All your theories are so to say.

Women are dog brain guns who just fuck ugly pigs and won't let me smash because they're

stupid and have no self-esteem. I think when a woman's with a very handsome, smart guy, okay, who's got a charisma, there's always that sense that, like, an apex predator would come along and fuck him instead. But, like, guys feel loud about hot girlfriends.

But, yeah, but they don't have that same kind of insecurity. It's kind of different, though. They're looking at other girls. Here's saying, they're looking at other girls to fuck. Yeah. Okay, where girls look at other girls feel like stay away from my man.

Okay. Again, this is a very generalizing kind of point, but I think there's something here, okay. So I think if a girl... I'm too tired to disagree with it. I just know I love this, okay? You can't put up a fight. Yeah, yeah.

So if a girl starts... Don't wake me up this time. Don't get into my hair. If a girl, like, starts stating it's kind of real hot, kind of handsome guy, okay? Yeah. She'll make him wear sweaters. Yeah.

You know, make him uncooled. Yes, yes. Get him kind of fat. Feed him loads of stuff as well. Don't point of me when you say that, but yeah. Okay, you know, I was with you initially, but not. I've changed my mind. Big, okay, a big cunt from Monaghan.

Do you may have an inner ear problem and depression and anxiety. Like, that's real. Nonsense. So, yeah, I was just thinking about that. That's your theory. Yeah, exactly. Not fully taught out.

I would say, yeah. But I think, I think a lot of them do, like, I think girls would prefer to have an ugly boyfriend that lads are very like, also I think lads are way more like, oh, what will you other lads down the pub think if I bring her back around? hunter-gatherer mentality

whereas women are nesters and they're, you know He's like, okay, I'll get him We live here now I'll get him nice and fat And he won't be able to leave the house Whereas men are like I just need to fuck everything

Yeah Anytime she brings a new cabbage into the house I gotta fuck it See that washing machine You actually spend a lot time with that I'll store who's boss Yeah yeah Okay well I mean sure

There's probably something to your theory Yeah but again you want to generalise anymore because generalizing feel like like even like it works sometimes like different types of whiskeys okay I have noticed to some whiskeys that women prefer

and some that lads prefer but I don't even like saying that just the case don't want to like piss anyone off and also what are the characteristics of the whiskeys that women prefer more of like a red wineish the wine kind of whiskey like a sweeter yes basically water down

they can't take the real harsh truth I need it sweet and spicy and just the red colour because you're living in deny and that's the bloody real world out there

all right it's hard it's rough it's nasty it'll kick you up and down the stairs but you're

fucking reading your bloody LO magazine thinking this old sunshine lollipops well it's not

life's a bottle of whiskey up the twat time to grow up and deal with it yeah where man whiskeys

is basically as dog shit and the sun you mix together you drink it's like I feel like a man now

I feel sick and unhappy like I'm watch the movie scum over and over again I'm the daddy there and some other stuff I'm not allowed to say

even in character just to where we live in that even though I don't understand irony do you don't respect more processes you know just do you yeah so yeah

the school's shooting it was a bad one it gets two thumbs down for me you'll tell you that well I've heard not even joking there's word of the Democratic Party about Steve Kerr getting the

politics. Really? The Democrats are desperate to need someone. Someone charismatic. So they don't have much to beto-orke. Yeah, he was kind of a big deal

a few years ago. And he would say fuck sometimes on a skateboard. He'd skate around and say fuck. Yeah. But then people like got a bit bored of them like. There's no half pipes

in the White House pal, all right? And then after that... But there is a basketball hoop from... Well, I don't know who put it there. But regardless, it's there now. and we all just have to like it Nixon

Nixon you meant you but also Eric Adams apparently announced that he's intending to run in 2024 if Biden decides not it Who's Eric Adams

He's the mayor of New York Okay He's that cool guy I was telling you about Like he parties With Caradelle Levine And stuff like that Oh right

He's not the one in the wheelchair That molested his cousin Is he? Oh no no I got confused with him That's a white guy Oh okay What's his name

Eric Roth Eric Rott Eric Adams Eric Roberts Eric Adams Yeah Eric Roberts He's a black guy

He's the mayor of New York Second black mayor of New York He's always booging down He's a fun guy He's up for it And you know He's got a little bit of charisma A little bit of sass to him

You know That's good Yeah Like even like There was a shooting there In a subway I think Yeah Oh yeah

That guy Yeah yeah And he was like You know what He led off the smoke bomb Before he shot anyone And he was like Hey toss some prayers

You know what I'm glad I'm mayor Because I can look after this Oh Yeah So it's a little bit of confidence I've got this shit on lockdown Yeah, yeah

Apparently he's like being real Like tough on crime And tough on homelessness Especially yeah Zero policy Zero tolerance policy on homelessness What does that mean Just like

Yeah if you're not in a house You're dead Just throw them all in a wood chipper No he's like You're kicking them all out Some sleep on the subway Yeah And they do a lot of clearing

Or cleaning up Yeah what does that entail Exactly where do they take them? Basically guys with big boots Go in and kick you Yeah but Where did they go? No one knows.

Under the sea, under the sea. Basically, the policy has moved them. Yeah. And then maybe they'll build their own city, away from all of us. So that's where all the tent cities come from? No, they're getting a tent cities. Tent cities are in the actual city. They basically want to move them.

Basically, their dream, okay, it's all the homeless go live in. Tent suburbs. They want to go live in the woods, basically. All the homeless go live in the woods. Then the bulldozers come in and get rid of them all for good. Yeah, yeah. It's bad now the old homeless. Doesn't it really feel,

like, you know, not to be too sort of doom and gloom, George Carlin, but doesn't it really feel like this is all coming to an end? It feels like it's getting worse and worse and worse.

I don't want to sound very middle class here, but I've noticed like the homeless are getting a little bit more like, you know. Bighty. They bite now. Desperate, you know? Yes.

A little bit more sad. It kind of ruins my buzz. Yeah, more like, kind of like, fuck it, who care? Like, you know, they want to go to jail. They get, they get a, They get a bed and three meals And all the ass fucking they want

Now I heard someone say that if you're homeless You're actually living like You're actually better off being homeless this day And actually driving a taxi That's why I've heard someone say Because you know what to do apparently To give you a free house If you take enough heroin

To give you a free house That's a good system Yeah so like social housing That's what the taxi driver said Yeah yeah yeah He also said the greens are shit Okay Because the people on bike lanes in

Yeah the taxi man do not like cyclists they don't yeah some of them try to intentionally run over cyclists and they do love it as well yeah it's pretty funny no yeah it's um the social housing like yeah but it's bad you're just giving houses the junkies and then there's families

like living in a skip well what be your solution then you're watched I watch give that family heroin they need it more than anyone give the family two skips now what word do you want oh what we're tucking off the teats of the system a wheelie bin for every toddler

that's my guarantee I'm making a run for politics you watch eight mile do that yeah it's bad man I've noticed the homeless people it's getting more depressing now maybe it's because I tell you what it is also because I'm in Dublin now

yeah so it's everywhere walk around balling a little bit different yeah do you just have any homeless there no no it's like a socialist utopia yeah we're starting to see a few in Monaghan was like, Jesus, you're trying to be homeless and Monaghan. Best to look to you, pal. I know as well, some of the homeless do look

like more decrepid, more Donald Deadish, you know. I think the drugs are getting a bit harder. Probably, yeah, well, like, apparently crack is getting, is very big here now. I'd say there's probably like synthetic fucking, like, you know, fentanyl

and shit. Basically, they're all going to be zombies on bath salts, eating each other's skating. It's going to be awesome. Yeah, it'd be crazy. Like, there's one woman during a day one time I saw her like in a bat robe and she honest looked like a skull a skull with a bit of hair on top

like it was scary looking like yeah yeah I mean I don't know what to do about it all the thing is no you could probably if you wanted to be a serial killer you could definitely go around killing homeless people that's a thing that's been going on

not Ireland that we know of but probably the guards don't really give a fuck like but there was a thing there was a guy like the video of some guy going around just stabbing homeless people Very American psychoish, yeah In America? Oh, in America, yeah Of course America, I mean

And like, apparently it was a thing Where's like, they were like, Hey, uh, there's a guy stabbing all the homeless people in the cops Like, oh yeah, sure, like that's the thing, yeah Yeah, okay, well, you find a pot of gold as well, did you? Ah, yeah Yeah, me, was it you or was someone else We were watching videos like the L.A. homeless cities

Yeah, some of them pretty nice Not like nice in like you'd ever want to be home. but some of them just like little tents okay yeah some of them basically it's just a towel you know and some of it's like it's kind of put a bit of effort in yeah some of like the tense swiss family robinson worse like oh gizmos and knickknacks zicking around you know a coconut kind of some kind of system runs and coconuts that just like spood's heroin into you just like a dude dun dun do do do do do the rude goldberg machine yeah see the like a lot of the kind of the they're really like left leading lib people are like they're just there in their tent cities and

they're not hurting anyone it's fine it's like no there's like serious amount of like sexual assault and violent assault and like gang rape and murder going on in those tent cities but the cops don't give a fuck so they like never and then when the cops do show up to do something about it you'll stand there with your phone like leave them alone it's like you're so far removed from like the severity and the reality of the situation it's like just shut your cunt mouth and play basketball or whatever you do, dickhead. You have retards like Brian going

He's an angel, he's such a prince. That's my president. Yeah. You got me. You got my number. I was ready to vote for him right then. Then in there, baby. God, must be crazy.

Yeah, like, just the amount of like homeless people, like, it's almost like they're not people. In, like, every kind of system we... No, wait, let me finish, okay? society, all right? Hey, you hear me disagree? Yeah. No, it's like, every

kind of way we judge, like, if you're human or not, they fall below that crack, you know, they're kind of below that. You've got no Instagram, no Twitter, your TikToks are shit. You don't have a podcast. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing with your life? Deadbeat. Yeah. Don't you have

bindles anymore? Back in the day, it was like this hobo kind of life where you had, like, a little bindle. The bindle, like, you can't carry anything in a bindle. What were they putting in those bindles. When was the kid, I used to love the idea

of bindles. I thought they were pretty cool. The bindle, if you don't know, it's a little stick with the little thing wrapped around. It's like a bandana or something.

I wonder what they're carrying a bindle. Can't be much. Yeah, it was just a rock. Just a copy of the Quran. I don't know. It soothes me.

Yeah. I mean, it used to be like in the old days you could just like in America, just ride the railroad tracks, you know?

Yeah, Hobo was almost like this poetic, kind of simple, Rejection of society. Yeah, kind of like a Bohemian. It was an option, yeah. You go around and just

crushing pussy all the time, I presume. Well, you would write the tracks again. You'd go up somewhere like, oh, howdy, stranger. Could maybe work on your barn for a cup of soup and stay for one night

or two, perhaps, and maybe stay with your three sexy daughters. Well, you got an eye on his face, mister. I like to cut of your jib. Come on in. Yeah, and you travel around, get up to Crazy Adventures. And Hobos had your own.

I'm a very heavy sleeper so Doesn't matter how much noise you make I won't hear a thing I'll sleep right through it My daughter's room is just in there There's a hole in the wall Be careful We always said they had myths

They had their own myths They had their own like almost religion in the way And their own language as well You're about the hobo symbols and all that No what's that All the hobo symbols So let's say you're walking to Would you say a cock on the wall

That's a hobo drew that That means cock you understand that I do symbolology like in Dan Brown You bourgeois middle class Cunt You don't speak the language

Of the regular folk So you would have like Just say you're walking there And the gate And the gate It was a wooden gate And the farmhouse is down there On the wooden gate

There's little scratches And the scratch might say Like friendly Guy has gone Hot daughter Yeah Whore wife Yeah

Yeah That's pretty sweet of pie, you know, like it would be little things tell you like if there's a good house to go to or not and if they like would let you stay for a night or whatever, okay,

little things. And also you ever hear of Rock Candy Mountain? I've heard the song. Rock Candy Mountain is Hobo Heaven. Okay. So eventually you will find, or if you die, all hobos go to rock

kind of like dog heaven, okay? It's rock candy mountain. That's where Hobo Heaven is, okay? So again, back then Hobo was this kind of nice. Not nice, okay, it was hard, but back then life was hard, in general for a lot of people it was hard okay yeah like you know sleeping in a bed in the

1800s really wasn't much different from sleeping on the ground exactly they really hadn't mastered there was more cow shit yeah yeah but now it's very very different there's very much romanticism when it comes to the homeless junkie no passed out on a streak and beat the dead yeah and like here's the thing yes obviously they're in a very difficult situation and they've been you know disenfranchised and fucked over by pretty much every institution in the country, I'm still not giving anybody any money

and I'm not, like if somebody comes up to talk to me but here's the thing. You're saying that someone's come around your house there. Yeah, this old fucking bint man. She was about 93 if she was a day. She had like a walking frame and she's just like coming up my drive while I was sitting in my car in the driveway

and she's like, hello, hello. And I was like, yeah, sorry. He's like, is your mommy or daddy here? I was like, what? For you? I'm like 33. What are you talking about? He's like, no, no.

They haven't had for me. I was like, what you mean? It's like, do you have any money? I was like, no, sorry, I have no money. He's like, what about a bit of food? And I was like, look, I've got nothing here for you. Please go away. And here's thing, I had to be that direct because this is my house.

Yeah. So before I know what that old bitch is fucking scratching things in my door saying, this retard will give you. money and food and a fresh bed and a shower and lick your asshole clean. Fucking idiot cunt. Come one, come all. This dickhead's giving

it all away like a fucking Willie Wonka for hobo cunts. Fuck you. No thanks, pal. So I kick the living, fuck out of her. You know how easy it is to curb stop a 93-year-old junkie? Very easy and very gratifying. I enjoy it immensely. You take it where to feel great because it's not much

a challenge. She was even better. But she had like a Zimmer frame and everything. Oh my God, that's depressing, but also very, very funny as well.

I can't, but realistically. But yeah, she's at my door so it's like, she knows where I live. So she's like a cat, man,

you feed it once, she'll be back. Bringing a little dead bird as well. The thing is like, you have to be that direct like no. Because I'd be like, um, well,

I don't think snow, no, no, maybe no. You get them an inch to take a mile, man, you know what I mean?

It's like, ever be on the bus and so it was like, can I use your phone? I was like, no because you give them your phone and it's like, what the fuck? Like, that's it. No one's ever done that with me like. When somebody asked me for my phone, like make a phone call, I was like, no. Yeah. I was like, no, I do, but I'm not giving it to you.

Yeah, I'll just be that direct. You have to be like, yeah. You have to be like, you know what I mean? Ain't nobody making a fool out of me. I ain't no mug. All right, fam? You want to murk me, bro? Yeah. We're going to start getting 10 cities in Dublin It's only a matter of time Yeah, it's a bit too cold

Well, you do see them just sort of like Like LA is great example Because it's so hot there You can be homeless And actually a pretty good time over there Like you know It's basically a rocking 24-7 party It's like spring break every night baby

Whereas in Chicago Again not to be too morbid here But in Chicago During the winter The problem Hobo icicles Yeah exactly Hobo lollipops for all

sorry I was saying morbid no I was saying like morbid because like the winter freezes it and a lot of people in power like yeah what's the problem here yeah kind of like it's kind of like God is all remember Noah's Ark it's kind of like that two of every con

now I know I'm coming across very desensitized and removed from it and it's because I am I feel nothing for anyone it is all coming to an end it's crumbling and it's what you deserve of you cons and nobody

is as super smart as me I am no stratamus I see it all What are we at now We're at an hour We're at an hour Okay perfect

Yeah I like this kind of James here This is James in the gutter James is down in the crevasse Yes I'm not my usual

little happy cheery self You got anything cool coming up James We're doing a gig tomorrow We're doing a gig tomorrow Me and you again It was a wilder

The old dude brothers. Yeah, exactly. Back on the road. You think we should ever, like, get on stage and do, like, kind of a double that kind of thing, you know? I think that's what... Kind of like we're hosting the Oscars. I think there has been talk of that now. Hey, big things are coming down the pipe.

Oh, I can't say what, but actually, you're right. We have some dates confirmed, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And things are happening. And when we say confirmed this time, we actually mean confirmed. Ah, we're not going to bring all that up again, okay. What am I? I'm not, hey, well, I don't say no.

No, no, we're all good. We're all good, like, yeah, yeah. It's all gee. It's very sad. I see you in Rock Candy Mountain. No about that. It's very sad in this industry because the industry is so small here.

Like it's very hard. Like having like real enemies and be like, yo, you better watch out, fam. It's pretty sad. I'm gonna roll up on you, motherfucker.

I got the nine. I'm strapped, I. You see this boy? You see care dog coming down the street? Oh, y'all motherfuckers better run.

You heard. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for your youngs. I'm coming for your family dog. He's on. He's on sight, motherfucker. He's on sight.

So you got, You got that. You're a criminal now. Yes, that's right. You're doing... I threaten people with violence. It's just one of my things now. It's my manny. Little quirks.

I've got to ingratiate myself into the youth somehow, and they love violence. So I've got some gigs coming up. I'll promote them on my Instagram. You've got some gigs come up, some cool gigs. You've got the Chicago stuff coming. Any other cool stuff happening? I'm very happy you're on Chicago, actually. No joke.

Doing the Wild Roots Festival next week. Oh, wow. I didn't know it's that close. Yeah, I think it is next weekend. wild roots Like Casabian and James Morris Did I have Casabian there? No, no, Razor Light

Sorry, Razor Light They're shitter than Casabian Okay, all right But it's a good gig, it's in Sligo There's a lot of good comedians Performing on the weekends So yeah, it should be fun Alright

I am happy about you going Chicago I think that's good for you like No, it's not I have to go over there with my family It's gonna be a fucking nightmare You say that but I think you come back Completely from Man You know the way

No, I won't I kept saying how everything's shit No, I won't What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go over to Chicago. Yeah, well, it's a metropolis. There's no such thing as social problems or crime or poverty or drugs.

We've got the pizza over there. You've got the deep dish pizza, all right. Oh, yeah, we got that deep dish pizza here, oh, boy. Yeah, so a lot of crime in Chicago, a lot of gun crime. It's getting worse and worse every day. I think my sister is moving back home because it's getting really bad over there. Oh, you didn't mention that on the podcast. You want to mention that your sister's coming back?

It's coming home, yeah. That's very good for families a whole, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that would be good for you. And, I mean, yeah, you seems like you're doing well. I'm kind of in a bit of a rut at the moment. I'm a bit sad. It's kind of, there's never a week where both of us are doing well. It'd be weird if it was, we both like, we're like, fucking great.

Are you great? I'm feeling good, baby. I feel great as well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Steve Kerr's awesome. He's even better than awesome. If you want to hear that, listen to the Shite Talk podcast. Those boys are always winning. Oh, fuck, I actually went to see one their life.

shows in The Wild Duck All bitches with big tits Really? All of them, yeah Literally not a single guy there All massive titty's like Yeah, and they were loving all the history stuff There's big tit history nerds okay And they mentioned Joyce

They're all like going woo And you know what I got to do an introduction Oh did you get on stage I'm like please welcome I feel so bad actually I forgot to say this So it was a guest as well Yeah

The guy called Donald who's very interesting guy Big James Joyce expert, okay? So I go on stage like, please welcome to sexy men whatever the country name is, fucking Kevin and Kevin Larnie and Jason Brennan. Yeah. Then the tree got up then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Donald's like, oh, I guess I'm not sexy.

Oh, he said that, didn't he? Yeah, and some people laughed, but I was like, oh, fuck. But was he sexy? He's a man, like, so I would be able to tell, like, you know what I'm like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just looking at the big tits, that's what I'm looking at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to give you a get out of jail

free card there. No, he's a very cool guy though, very cool guy. But I feel a bit bad things. I didn't want to... Did you even offer to suck him off? I had to go. I had to go. I will suck him off eventually, though, like, I don't want him to think. I didn't call him a promise. Yeah, yeah, I will. It's on site. Next time I see, don't know. You, watch out. Cunt, do it.

Yo, here's what's up, dog. Your dick, my mouth is so safe, bam. But yeah, it was a very fun show in the wild dog. I can tell you're, you're getting very close to pressing the button because you want to leave you. Yes. So I'm going to let you go now. But no,

yeah, shout out to the shite talk boys. Shout out to the shite talk. Shout out to the shite talk. Yeah,

very, very fun. It's very interesting as well. They weren't focused on the comedy. The comedy came naturally. It was all about

the history. Yeah. That's kind of what we're lacking, isn't it? Yes, you're all right. Let's go downstairs

and let's watch more about the Premier League. Yeah, that'll cheer me up. Exactly. That always puts me in good form. Yeah. Bye.

Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything.