Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 16 : Dennis the Menace/Sexual Predator

Episode Date: March 28, 2019

Brian and James are waiting for Allie so they talk about Forrest Gump, Conor Mcgregor, Animal cruelty and the 2020 American elections.

Good evening. It is 6.20. You're listening to a podcast. This is Brian O'Too speaking. I'm here with James Catton. Hello. That's just end. You're wasting your life by listening to this. But we appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. It's true. There's so much content out there on internet and you've decided to pick this. That's kind of your problem. Are you proud? Proud of your decisions, are you? Some people look at child porn. You've decided to look at this. You're scum. arguably the more commendable option depending on your worldview we won't go too much in this because again we talk

about paedophiles too much but did you see an Irish guy got caught with that website that was like the biggest distributor of Charlottoporne in the entire world no yeah he's an Irish guy wait so he was he ran he ran the website the website

it was called like freedom dot com or something I forgot something like that it was definitely freedom in the title and it was, yeah, it was like FreedomSight.com and it was like... Dot I.E.

And it distributed lots of images of like child porn and child abuse and stuff like that. Jesus Christ. And was he based in Ireland? Yeah. Yeah. Based in Ireland.

What county? What county? I don't know. I'll look it up. I think he's based in Dublin. I don't know right. I just saw my news there. And I was Jack Eam as they say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. City schlicker. Up the flats. Up the doves. Well, they were carrying them out. I think he's being extradited to the America now because it's such a big case. Yeah, yeah.

And the FBI caught him like so. It's like their fish. And they had a picture there in the news of them taking him out. And like he was covering his face if that's going to help. Just what is happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, wow.

Well, that's, you know, that's something to think about. I didn't hear about that. No, that's, I mean... You know, Ireland, we're not, you know, not number one in many things. Well, consider it our history at the Catholic Church, you'd imagine this is an area that we dominate. Oh shit, yeah. It's the dark arts.

Now we can be loud and proud about it. We're here. We bang kids. It's just like, this came out a while ago actually. It's surprising that Leo didn't mention it. Why? The only way he was touring around America

of St. Patrick's Day. Just like, didn't mention that, you know, he was like, you know, flying the flag for Ireland. Yeah, like, you know, Katie Taylor's doing very well in boxing and I hear some lad. Did you actually see in this?

Is it the site? No. what? Yeah, Guam. Even though I do love freedom. I love freedom. But you see, in Chicago, Leo was there for the parades for St. Patrick's Day. And then McGregor showed up as well.

Is that right? Yeah, and then Leo was a bit angry about being upstage. Oh, I see. Yeah. He said that McGregor does not represent Ireland, stuff like that. Oh, I did hear that, but I thought he was just kind of, I thought, I, you know, I thought he just said that because, like, McGregor is usually talking shit, being a bollocks. But McGregor is kind of like

He hasn't fought in ages And he's lost his last few fights I know like the Mayweather one was more like Like an exhibition one Yeah Yeah And he versus Mayweather is kind of like You ever see um

You ever see a video of Woody Allen Fighting the Kangaroo Oh it's like that You know One's a rapist Yeah But like It's the kind of exhibition

He kind of like Just a funny kind of Yeah Yeah But now like McGregor's just full on Instagram one He really is like

He's kind of like a social media influencer And you know what? He really has taken the whole UFC thing into like WWE trash talk. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to lay the smack down on you, brother. You know what I mean? He's like the Hulk Hoke in of Ireland, basically. Yeah, I hope, oh my God, imagine the sex tape with him and Hulk Hove.

Where he screams the N-word. They're both screaming at him. But yeah, so him, he showed up at the Chicago parade. And, you know, Leo strikes me something that can be a bit bitchy and petty sometimes. yeah sure and he was all like yeah I don't like that you know what they're taking attention away from me yeah I should be the star

and then he tried to be it'd be funny if he was trying to be like McGregor gets attention well you know what I'd like to apologize to absolutely effing nobody yeah I'm also notorious actually speaking of the N-word do you see I wrote that poem about the N-word

no what you wrote a poem about the N-WR there was national poetry for your love of the N-word is this one no no it's actually it's actually it's like a beat poem about don't use it oh i'll read it out for the audience very progressive on you i've read it i wrote a few poems because it was um last week it was national poetry day and national down syndrome day spot the difference so shout out to carty b i don't like her you're more of a nicky manage guy yeah carty b just is annoying fucking

she's annoying like i imagine like being the same room where she's screaming all the time okay let's hear your poem yeah what's it called it's called white girl white girl okay I've got two poems I read this one first okay okay uh by the way we're waiting for Ali O'Rourke yes we are so it's good to get these N-word poems out now before she gets here why you don't know her feeling on the N-word oh I suppose she might be a white nationalist that's true that's true you don't know all right go okay yeah white girl white girl sing along white girl white girl enjoying the song when it comes to rap she's a real nerd and when she's singing along she always uses the n word i think i might read some more passion yeah that's one

thing everyone knows about her when she's singing along she always uses a slur cause when the party's going and the music's bopping her racism well it ain't stopping nice okay yeah i can picture me yourself this in like um yeah with some smoky bar in greenwich village you're wearing a beret yeah yeah i'm getting up there you know fucking because white women really are the problem he plays the bongos. Go. This white girl's got a low-cut dress that hugs her figure. She gets drunk on a dance floor and jumps around like tigger.

When she's singing, she always uses that word that rhymes with trigger. Yeah. Well, guess what, white girl? You need to shut the fuck up. Because when it comes to saying the N-word, you're really pushing your look. Do some research on that word and it's use in the past. And if you keep saying the N-word, I'm going to put my foot up your ass. This is how they applaud in the Greenwich Village.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gruey care. Boop with a bat! And then like then... It's a real good scene, Daddy, oh! No, the black people lift me up. And they're like, save your, save your, save your. Ah, very good poem, Brian, I enjoyed that.

I also wrote another poem about Post Malone. Yes. You know Post Malone? I'm familiar. Do you like Post Malone, actually? No, I don't. Really? Really.

I like him. Okay. I don't hate him. It's just what Ali thinks. I'm not a fan of the music, but... Really? Yeah, it just doesn't... I think you need listen to him more.

I'm too old, probably. That's what it is. Even if you don't like you, just pretend you do. Okay. We want this podcast to be hip. Oh, right. And if you want to get Post Malone on the show, you better start talking shit, you know?

Start sucking his dick. Post Malone is good. Yeah. So this is a disc track about Post Malone. Even though, like, I like him, but that's how you show your respect. By dissing it? Yeah, if I go up there and be like,

Oh, Post Malone. you're so great, ugh, like that he won't respect me. He'll be like, get out of here. This is my disc track, okay? Okay, go. Post Malone. You're a fool, Post Malone. Going to sneak into your home and cover you in foam. I know where you live. I'm going to give you the

Hiv. I'm going to give you HIV. I'm going to give you HIV. I'm going to give you HIV. You're going to get HIV from me. Okay. Again, in Greenwich Village, I say that. Everyone goes, woo. The black people love me.

Consider yourself. self-worned post Malone. Yeah. I don't think he'd realize if he had HIV. I've heard he's not a very hygienic person. Oh, really?

Apparently he stinks. Like some fans met him backstage and apparently he stank like a motherfucker. Like, look, on his face tattoos and his on tempter. Look, I'd be honest,

I'd smell it all. I give you smelly sometimes. Okay. Like, I was driving the girl home on Friday, I was smelly. I didn't mean to it, but like, I was just back from a gym. Yeah.

I was tired and I felt bad about, but look, just because I'm a rapper doesn't mean I can't be smelly. that's true we are going to give him HIV no that was a diss to show my respect for him like that's how if I like you I threaten you with HIV I get a needle I threaten you it's like Oz yeah I just started watching Oz yeah I came in there James watching Oz it's pretty interesting it's uh it was like the first big show from HBO like but you know it's not as artistic as like sopranos you know yeah it's a little more kind of 90s trash TV is a little bit trash a little bit like oh I see you're going for you know it's not as artistic as like soprano's you know yeah it's a little bit of trash a little bit like oh I see you're going for symbolism yeah but it's very very on the nose like beach over the head yeah i fucking hate like symbolism 101 shit yeah yeah like you know that kind of like oh he's standing at a crossroads and he's trying to make a decision and it's like fuck just fuck off would yeah yeah would yeah would yeah well yeah okay yeah but like it was good and was i mentioned donald trump as well

that's true and bohemium grove yeah of which i am a not a fan but uh certainly interested in we know about it like oh yeah we've never been invited but um i was talking about bohemi grove actually a few days ago. Yeah. Because I was telling you like I was hanging up my aunts. Oh.

I'm not even joking. The lawyers. I was actually, we're joking around with that. It's, how do I explain why we were doing? Well, we were talking,

because I was talking about I'm going to America. Yes. Okay, yeah. So we're talking about the US embassy. So I went to the US embassy to get my J-1 and it was very easy.

You are white, so. Yeah, I am white and I had a smile the Irish face. So I just came in and they were like, oh, hi,

yeah, did you like, do you like, do you want to go to America? easy. I was expecting like a guy with a gun to be like you like, do you like freedom? I'm like, what kind of freedom are you talking about? Are you familiar with the site Freedom.com. That'd be so funny. He was like, do you like freedom?

I do like child porn? Is that what you mean? And he's like, denied. Okay, so you're chatting with your aunts. Yeah, it's about this. And my auntie, oh, it just felt good now. Now my aunties about lawyers, okay? And they're supposed to be smarter than me. Yeah, yeah. So my auntie goes like, oh, yeah,

the US Embassy. I taught him very strict now because they got bombed in the 90s. Okay. And I was like, did they? In the Irish? Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh did they? Like, yeah, but like a rat. And I was like, wait a minute. I don't, yeah. Why would the IRA bomb an American embassy? Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, that's in the sound around. She's like, yeah, no, it happened. It happened.

So I googled it. You give it an old Google. I googled it right there and then, okay? And I can already tell she was like starting to doubt herself. She's like, uh, there's no need to Google that. No. You only got someone. They're like, ah, look, objection why would you ever check anything like saying

yeah it's made her job a lot harder now since Google has been invented trying to use her lawyer's skills against me I was like

you're not gonna use that you fucking bitch your honor please okay so you proved her wrong yeah yeah okay nothing didn't happen

the only two things I saw was the only three things actually was they found some unexploded grenade there but didn't go off

right so I don't know what was that the second story was remember that when Obama's car got stuck no

see that i'll show you a picture this when he was in ireland yeah yeah i show you so his uh his limo was driving over like the thing where the defense closes okay oh like the speed ramp yeah yeah and it got stuck over a speed ramp okay yeah yeah and it was a big kind of like you know kind of funny moment that wasn't like a bombing no no that was just a funny thing i'm sure obama was probably because up at the bomb so nice he was like who well that's just how he didn't go mentally no he didn't take out a gun and start pistol whipping yeah yeah and michel's like get him And the third thing was This is kind of funny

In like 2005 apparently Some guard who was like mentally like Insecurity like mining the place got drunk And kind of like you know Got in a bit of a fight with some other guard And then drove home when he got caught drink driving Oh Jesus Yeah

And that's like that best typical for a guard like Yeah yeah Because they're all like we'll get back to in a minute But guards are all just like They're all in coke for one thing They're all coked up alcoholic woman beaters Yeah I always wonder like

The guards, like, look at footage of, like, Rodney King and stuff like that. And they go, like, ah, Jesus. I've never, I've never shot a black fella in my life. This is not fair. Well, that's why they all go to, like, stag parties to, like, Prague and stuff, where you can do cocaine and shoot a black, you know. Yeah. Yeah, it's a fun weekend for the guards.

Like, I was watching a film called Rampart here, but Woody Harrison. It's kind of like that, you know, where it's like, there really isn't any consequences. If you're an American cop, you know, you can just do, like, you can just go shooting up some Latinos, okay, shoot a Latino, put your dick in his mouth, stuff like that, right? And at worst, you lose your job. Yeah. And then you get a job working with Fox News.

You become like, like, Mark Furman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, just get a job as like a speaker. And like, the more crazier opinions are, the more airtime you get. And you'll publish you books and stuff like that. Yeah, that's true. You can really turn yourself into a celebrity for the alt-right. You know what I mean?

Whereas guards, Irish guards, they can't really do that. Not at all. And it's kind of a shame. It's sad. Well, what happened to the guard? The whistleblower guy and they accused him of being a nonce, but then... Yeah, yeah, again, that's the example of how corrupt they are. Yeah, but he just goes on the late show and just, like, boring and tedious.

So you're not? You're not a paedophile? No, Ryan, I'm not. Well, thank you for coming on. Yeah, he was real, like, you know, Rex Banner and The Simpsons. He was like, that's a real boring person. Like, I saw something that wasn't true. I saw injustice and I said I must stop this injustice

and then I mentioned it to the intendant and it didn't stop him justice but then I kicked up a fuss and they called me a pito and I said I'm not a pito end of story despite my you know fondness for freedom.I a wonderful website run by my nephew very proud of him he's off to America apparently

he's going to make it big in the States you get a J1 no he didn't need to I forget that fellow's name I'm so dumb I forget the whistleblower's name Let me look it up Garda whistleblower Garda whistleblower

It's about time We checked up this shit Right Yeah So I just remember I watched a documentary About him on RT And he's so boring

That they kept cutting back To his dog Morris McCabe Morris McKay Yeah Yeah good guy I'm not joking aside He may be a bit

He's no Robin Williams Oh ho Yeah he's not gonna freestyle All right Down to get him on Well like you know He's a good guy Yeah, yeah, sure.

The other thing I really want to talk about, and this is really interesting for me, is... So, you know Forrest Gump? Yeah, it's a good movie. Yeah, kind of. It's all right. I like it a lot. Yeah, I don't know, yeah. I'm sure if I watch it now, I'm sure, like...

Yeah, it's a bit kind of, I don't know. You know, it's funny, a bit of a Mandela effect. When I first watched a film, I didn't remember the bit where, you know, he jizzed himself. Yeah, fagely. Jenny touched them, they jizzed himself. Yeah, I didn't remember that first time I saw. Oh, Joe's My Pants, Jenny. Yeah, she's like, good.

Good work, Forrest. She leaves, gets fucked by some Black Panthers. Yeah, no, she got, like, she was she on Wall Street getting coked up and gangbanks? Yeah, yeah. Jamie, are you ready to come home? Get out of here, Forrest. I was probably too young to understand that fully.

So that's what Wall Street is, see? I like, that's why I do accounting. But anyway, yeah, so I like Forrest Gump. And the screen writer for Forrest Gump actually wrote a star is born the latest one Bradley Cooper movie so he's been interviewed a lot lately

about Star is Born and he let slip that there was plans for a sequel to Forrest Gump okay and they had to well I'll tell you the plot of the sequel in a minute but I started doing some

in-depth research on Forest Gump so it's based on a book actually and the book's very different all right okay like it doesn't have a the book literally ends with Forrest being homeless sitting on the bench

which is you know how he would end up like literally every homeless person you meet as far as Gump but you know not the Hollywood version and that's how it should be the real life version they should just end up on a bench

yeah what let them play ping pong no way yeah so so the book's a little bit more depressing sure yeah I'm going to look so there's going to be a sequel there was going to be a sequel yeah now the sequel now they cancel it because they were like ah it's probably not the best time to

really why I mean did it does he take on terrorists the single well we'll get to that in a minute but so the plot was going to be all right so jenny's dead yeah all right she got AIDS but the son has AIDS oh the son has AIDS right okay so now they want it the kid in school so they're gonna cover that you remember like they won't let AIDS kids in school yeah yeah case they got all AIDSy sure yeah yeah so they're going to that kind of topic all right so they cover the whole AIDS tape and then Forrest's going to become friends with a Native American all right yes and then he's going to get up to all sorts of mischief like uh he was going to

he was going to dance with Princess Diana he's going to meet Prince Diana and dance at her I thought he was going to be like the chauffeur in the French tunnel Oh that'd be so funny like You're like, Your Majesty There's Papa Rats and Chaisa Oh no

Oh no Oh no First Genie now Diana Oh yeah There was going to be a scene I'm swear to God this is true okay There's going to be a scene where he He goes to OJ's house

All right I swear to God, this is what the guy said. And he gets in the back of his Bronco, right? And then OJ starts, him and the friends start driving off on the highway. Yeah. And then you see, they were going like the other way to put him in the old footage. Yeah. So you're going to see the Bronco go and the forest's head like popping up.

So he's just in the white Bronco? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Okay, all right. So it's going to him, you know, all the mischief. That's amazing. And then the big ending was going to be. So Forrest is sitting at the bench, all right?

Yeah. And he's waiting for his Native American friend to come. And guess where the Native American friend works, okay? I don't know. Remember that building that blew up? The World Trade Center? No. The one that Ted Kaczynski, who?

Wait, wait. Oklahoma? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. So the Native American friend. By the way, the screenwriter never refers to him with anything other than the Native American friend. He gets blown up in the building. The Oklahoma City bombing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the forest is all sad and his son is AIDS. Yeah, okay. I could see why... And that was the sequel. I could see why 9-11 would have impacted on that. And that was going to be the sequel. Like, that's insane.

Like... I'm really annoyed that that didn't come out. The only way that could get more offensive, okay, would be like, two things. One, if he actually was the one who killed O.J.'s wife. Yeah, yeah. If he was, like, a door to no one life salesman, and he slipped and he accidentally stabbed Nicole Brown and the other lad, okay?

And the only other thing that'd be more offensive, if they had a bit... Okay, where he, like, he retires and becomes, like, a neighborhood watch guy. Oh, Martin, why are you running away from me? Oh, very good. Yeah. So I was like, that's insane, okay. But then I found out there actually is a sequel book.

Now, the book is actually even crazier, the sequel to the book, all right? So in the book, the book is set after the film. Okay. After they made a film about him. Oh, right, right, right. So they didn't write the second book till after the 94. movie. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy wrote is as a cash tie-in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to write a sequel, okay?

Sure. So, now, the book opens the sequel. It's 1980, okay, and the shrimp company's falling apart. Okay. Lieutenant Dan ruined everything. Oh, dealt with his robot legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Forrest gets a job working for University of Alabama. He starts playing football for the NFL. Okay. Okay. Now, what happens is Jenny dies during one in the games all right and he wants to go to a funeral they're like fuck the funeral you're got to play with the NFL yeah okay and he says no so he gets um kicked off the team gets kicked off team and then he's like he's like unemployed he gets a few jobs he starts working in a strip club for a while uh not as a stripper no okay okay okay now what he does he gets a job working um

for the coca cola company all right and he starts he comes up with a new he accidentally creates a new type of coke. New Coke? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Now, then, look, I'll show you there. Jenny's ghost appears. Oh, for fuck sick. Telling Forrest, his job is not for him, as he's simply being used by his bosses, all right? So he gets out there just before, you know, New Coke goes to shit. So that's when they got Cosby. You know, Cosby was like the face of New Coke? Yeah, like, for the big guy, can't be. It was like, everybody else to try new Coke. Coalate this delicious, nutritious. Oh, yes, please. So yeah But apparently he developed the first strain of it

And it just made everyone fall asleep No, but he was He was the face of New Coke God, just when you think he can't get any worse I know, I know So he's he's lost his job now Jenny's ghost has told him to do something else He's kind of wandering on the place

Okay He meets, he meets Reagan Who refers to some kind of cowboy He gets back into the army And they meet the Ayatollah Khomeini And they start getting some other things Like he goes to like this thing called Holy Land

which is a religious-based team park and then he meets a lad who, get this, he meets a man who keeps muttering about Jody Foster. Oh, that's, uh, what's his name? Yeah. Something Hinkley? David Hinkley? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who shot Reagan. Yes, he shot Reagan, that's right. To impress Jody Foster. No, okay. So he's still in the army. Takes a bit of time off. He goes, visits the set, meets Tom Hanks. Meet Tom Hanks again, all right?

Okay. And he doesn't really like him. The bit I'm trying to find, oh yeah, they go to West Germany, all right? And then he accidentally kicks a football over the Berlin Wall. Right. And that causes them to take down the Berlin Wall. Okay. How? Or why?

Oh, I don't know. I'm just giving it to him to... Ridicrous. He's deployed in the Gulf War and he captures Saddam Hussein. And literally, this is... Read it like... No, you're right. It is... His tank crew captures Saddam Hussein. Yes. Yeah. And do they kill Saddam Hussein? No, they... Though privately, President Bush

orders him to release Saddam. Okay. Yeah. Lieutenant Dan dies in some war, which is fitting, I suppose. He meets Bill and Hillary Clinton. At Whitewater? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.

Yeah, and then, like, you know, Bill and Hillary probably murdering children. Yeah, yeah, well, there was that whole Whitewater scandal thing. Yeah, and then he's like, I don't like this. That's basically it, like... Want to hear me play a little saxophone? Okay, well, yeah, that's obscene. Like, that's pretty mental. Yeah, at the end, he connects with his kids and stuff like that.

His AIDS baby. Yeah, his AIDS baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's like Forrest Gump like Well that would have You know It would have been fun

To see that in movie for I don't know how like It really is pushing If you a sequel name Still meets famous people And stuff like that Well like the first one is just Ridiculous

Like it's a ridiculous There's too much Yeah You need a bit It's stupid Him running I think And then he creates A t-shirt

That was a bit It's a bit too much there Because it's a very dark film That they've made into Yeah They make it really yeah They really uh make it very light and happy.

And Jenny, like, you know what, actually, people give Jenny a lot of shit. Yeah. But in fairness to her, like, she's just a woman who's trying to get through life and there's this big old dumb dingus. Yeah, you can't say retard anymore. Yeah, there's this big dingus, chisner, right?

Yeah. He would have got me to do it. You know what I mean? He would have. He came to her place and gizzed on her. Okay. And then he just... Louis C.K.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's just fucking, she's trying to enjoy yourself. getting railed by black panthers and uh wall street bankers yeah yeah she's really enjoying herself she's getting nude and playboys stuff like that yeah yeah fucking falling around the place like a creep yeah yeah no you're right he's uh you could really remake uh forest gump and turn like a real horror film about this fucking demented cunt you will be a man jane i no means no yeah uh so yeah you're right forest gump's a rapist is what we're saying, basically.

Well, that was another part of sequel. He's too retarded to rape. That's what it is. He jizzes himself before he can, like, pin her down. A feel-good story. Tom Hanks is

Forrest Hump. Ooh, yeah. Weow-w-w-d-da-wa-da-wa-da-wa-da-ba. Like a, you know, like, do-do-do-da. Yeah, like Porky's going. Yeah, he's just raping her and Bill Clinton's been a saxophone.

She was only 12. 22 man I jizzed on her dress Oh I was going to say Actually yeah I was talking about my aunties And we got side track Yeah so you're aunties

So they're both liars So it's interesting They bitch about other lawyers Same way that we bitch about Their comedians Yeah When the mic is not Just like

That lawyer is a hack How did he get that case? It's a lot of that stuff He only got it Cause he sucked their dick You know things like that And they're telling me all these stories But judges get away with murder

Like they're always like Judges like being drunk And just like They're really like uppity. Well, see, they're considered infallible. Yeah. So they get this real ego that they, you know, they can never be disputed or argued against.

Like, they're always right. Yeah, and they have such like, uh, and like, she was telling like all these stories, but judges was pretty just, just real dicks, you know, just to get off in it. And even like the idea of like, if you want to be a judge, just something kind of wrong with you, like, personality. If you want to have that much power and like, yeah, yeah. And a big powdered wig.

Yeah, although I don't need to do that in Ireland. Oh, do they know? I don't know, like. It's a shame. just sentence working class people to harsh sent. Yeah, that's the thing like she was saying. It can be a bit like,

you know, because you're doing all the murders and rapes and stuff. You're not doing, you're protecting those who have done it. Yeah. Or sentencing them, whichever you become kind of desensitized. Yeah,

and eventually you kind of like, you stop caring and it's just about getting, it's about winning like, yeah. Like, if you got a rapist and you're defending him, you just want to defend them. It doesn't matter if he did it or not. Yeah.

You don't care, you know? In fact, you're hoping he goes out and does it again so you can defend him again, you know? It used to become a cold-hearted bitch. Call that double bubble. Well, eventually it'll be all Minority Report. Tom Cruise will be like... It was in Minority Port.

There was naked people in a tank. Who are predicting crimes. Yeah. I saw a minority report in the cinema when I was 12 years old, and I did not have a fucking clue what the hell was going on. Well, you were 12. Yeah. Why did you go on your 12?

Because, I don't know, it was like it looked cool. It just, because like the trailer made it look like a cool sci-fi action movie, but it obviously, you know, it was quite cerebral. Maybe it wasn't, but it was for my 12-year-old... For your tired brain. Yeah, for my 12-year-old tired brain. I looked back, I was a real fucking idiot, like, as a child, even as a teenager. Oh, yeah.

You know? We all are like... Well, like, I think considerably so. How so? Just, you know, I just was really bad, like, in school. And just, like, I could never, like, penetrate, like, a symbolism of poetry and stuff like that. it's just a bloody swam in a way what's that about then and like you know what the teacher's like so what does it mean it's like oh i don't know waters and birds and stuff you know i just could not grasp

symbolism or like re you know re-between the lines or any of that shit well i think we don't have a good set up in ireland we're like people like you aren't nurtured people like me no you know what mean like you know we're like in america it'd be like you know in america you can be in a remedial class and take an Adderall. Yeah, but also, like, in America, just, like, you can join, like, the Glee Club or the D&D Club. Oh, yeah, that's true. And there's more kind of, there's more places for

freaks. Yeah. I have an American friend, and she was telling me that, like, there's, like, people dressed up as cats just walking around the school. In the high school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's, like, full-on furries, and people, like, as gotts and pirates and stuff like that. That's kind of... They just kind of get their little group, and you can't

bully him now. So, yeah, that's... Look, what has happened to Bullion? Does Bullion even exist anymore. It's all online. Well, now it's either online or with a gun. School shouldn't. Yeah, there's no putting it. There's no putting someone to a locker these days. It's either like murder or convincing

themselves to kill themselves. Yeah, yeah. Which is kind of like, it's an argument to be made but I just think like it's unfair that like, you know, like on Facebook okay, someone will convince a teenager to commit suicide. Yes. And then Facebook is blatant. Yeah. It's kind of like, if someone writes

something on paper, it's not Steve Goose. Gutenberg's fault. Steve Goodenberg? Who invented the printing press? Steve Goodenberg? Who? Playing Mahoney in police academy. I don't know who invented the printing press.

Maybe it is Steve Goodberg and I just think maybe they're both Steve Grettonberg. No, no, I think I, no, you're definitely right. Mahoney. Chief, I invented the printing press. Yeah, okay, let me look up inventor of printing press. Oh, Joe, Johan, Jonas Gutenberg. It was a Gutenberg, all right? Yeah, apologies to Steve Goonberg.

He's not involved in any children. He's probably listening to this right now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just want to say Steve Goonberg is not involved in the suicide of children. Not since he stopped making Police Academy movies. Hey, oh, buzzing. Yeah. Even Michael Winslow just, kill yourself.

Wins just like, whip, whoop, boop, whee, whee, whee, whee, whee. Yeah, but, like, it keeps happening, and people are like. Blaming Facebook. And other things as well, like, people, like, putting up images of self-harm and then say, like, encourage other people to commit self-harm. But it's kind of like, what do you want to do? Like, do you want to, like, it's, basically you're saying your problem is, the children are communicating and researching stuff.

Yeah. And you can't really stop that. Like, they're going to talk anyway. You, you ban Facebook. Yeah. They'll just go on to. They'll find another way. Yeah.

They'll go on to freedom. Yeah. Or whatever. Is that what you want? Is it? Yeah. All these parents. Yeah, well, that's what it is.

parents just like have no they're they're not willing to like talk to their children and like well you you can't you know i really feel bad for parents how can you compete with the fucking internet you know what yeah i know like by the time like by the time your child's six or seven they've seen like hardcore porn like yeah used to be only the select few you know would be shown by an uncle you know but now they can but now they all see it used to be the ones with a cool uncle hey come on in here yeah and teach him how to masturbate yeah but nowadays cigarette. Well, nowadays, like, kids, like, they're raised on, it's literally, it's just, uh, beheading videos and go cocky. And that's before they're even two years old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

Before it even come out of woo. Okay. They're seeing like so much of desensitized to it. Yeah. Like, I don't, I don't know what the answer is. Because I don't think he can ban it, but I think it's bad for you as well. Definitely. But like, for us, like, imagine like, for our parents trying to talk to kids now, okay, it's kind of like when we're parents, okay, but you won't be a parent because you've got that problem. What problem? We won't talk about on the podcast. Well, no, yeah, I'll talk about it. Yes, I'm infertile.

Yeah. No, I just don't want children. Oh, so my balls exploded. After going, visiting freedom.com. Just with excitement and anticipation. Go on.

I just, I was just registering and the excitement got too much. Like, we're in a microwave. So you've no balls. But what I was saying is, it'd be like if, like, if people, our generation have kids who can literally, like, go into the internet

and, like, like, Tron. Like, virtual reality. Yeah, that's how different is. Like, there's no understanding. Like, my parents, they've only figured out how to watch mass on the internet in the last few weeks. What?

Do you have to? No. Oh, in Ballin, you can watch the mass on the internet. Oh, like, live streamed mass. The live streamed mass. you're serious your parents will watch it instead of going um well no they'll go if they'll know this is what they do okay i'm like i'll say it i don't care like they'll never so they'll watch they might go on the saturday wow and then the sunday they'll watch and uh kind of bitch about

everyone and criticize everything oh look at mrs henderson's outfit yeah yeah yeah what a whore yeah yeah it's basically my mother's kind of one a whore yeah look at that look at fader wheelin what a whore yeah so that they've only figured out the last few weeks That's so weird. Whereas, like, I'm fucking, you know, I'm upped on each now. Oh, I do, yes, yes. Whereas I'm, like, you know, looking at videos of, like, people, like, and dogs lick their balls and stuff like that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. An animal enthusiast. Which actually, my friend told me that she knew a girl. I won't name names now. But she knew a girl that when she was, like, younger, she was at the dog lick her, lick her vagina. Jesus Christ. And now I asked what age, okay? yeah 15 15 that's too old that is too well what in your mind is the right age well there's no right

yeah no 15 you have a bit of like yeah yeah she could have like if she's that desperate first she could have caught a dick she could have called me catch a d on the fly yes catch a bit of dick you're getting the dog but can't be hygienic no it can and you know what the worst thing is the dog had a man's name oh really yeah it wasn't frank okay okay the real name was ben but uh I don't want to say... Ben the dog. Yeah. Yeah.

But the fact of they gave him a man's name. It's like, that's weird. And then like, I was thinking, how weird it would be if, like, um, say she finally gets with a lad, okay? And then the lad's fucking her and then she says, Ben's name. And he's like, are you saying their dog's name? Yeah. Or like he goes down on her and it smells like pedigree chum. Did you know what?

Just dog hairs in it. Does the dog collar fall off? It's like a bull. A bone falls out of his squeaks There's a lot of shit up here Jesus Christ That's so weird Yeah, that's what I mean

Like back in the day Parents would like Pick turnips And now their doors Are they're getting licked out by dogs Yeah So that's just like that's just hard It's hard to be parents

It is hard to be a parent Like I'll get another thing about Dean tonight Okay Is my friend I won't say his name No All right But he used to watch

He used to be a big 4chan guy Right, okay And actually people are thinking about blocking 4chan now because of the whole New Zealand shooting Yeah, yeah Which we'll get to that in a minute

Because I've got opinions on that Oh good Yeah But he used to watch videos of animal fights Right So it would be the standard Of kind of cock fights And dog fights and things like that

Yeah He used to watch live streams of that All right But then he also watched weird shit The Warrant doesn't seem like Like a scorpion versus a rat Or like a crab versus a kitten

You know things like that You're just like What They're not but they wouldn't even fight like like no because it's not like Pokemon where it's like go like

yeah yeah you gotta really like yeah so it'd be like it was like all like the live stream okay be them like in like some glass thing and some Asian guy like poking him with a stick trying to make him yeah yeah and they didn't even want to do it like

no so it's just and he'd be watching it and he'd be like glue you know the way like people watch the Super Bowl he's like gluck come on I got 20 Gs I'm a scorpion come on baby come on

daddy needs a no hat come on sting him yeah that's weird it was just so sad so eventually like the rat would like gnaw and the scorpion for a bit and a scorpion would like sting and a rat would just go to sleep you know the rat just go down and just like not come back up and then the Asian guy would be like yeah yes you please minnie and then you see little things popping up people donating money oh for god's say yeah and he'd watched it all the time well and he was completely desensitized your friend sounds very disturbed he also he used to love um like jokes about cats don't jokes about cats dying yeah okay like I actually because when I first met him like

I remember I made some joke after a while about like you know some cat like there was a cat around the place okay there was all those cats around the area like you don't want hours but you know yourself like cats just yeah everywhere yeah there's cats around and it kind of comes to the house and eventually you're kind of like yeah you feed it and then it doesn't leave

yeah it was like that okay so I made a few jokes about like I got kicking in front of the car curbstom for many things like that yeah and he like proper like doubled over like like he just heard who's on first bit you know like he loved it

yeah and then it was actually kind of like interesting where like sometimes I'd deliberately do as less of a as bare

as semblance of a joke like just mentioning the cat died yeah I just mentioned like imagine that cat died and then he'd like you crazy giving you the full

like yeah doing the full knee slap or like they stand up and like spin around in a circle he loved it

I've met all sorts of weird people Yeah man Just like everyone in your life Sounds like a freak I kind of like I say I like to hang out with normal people But you know what I found out This is a good lesson for people

The people you think are normal Sometimes are the biggest tards of all You need to be fun down Like dogs Yeah Like to some people I meet And you think they're normal Okay like hot girls

Yeah yeah And then you find out like Oh two years ago she like um let a dog name ben like her pussy yeah you know like oh two years ago she tried to kill her little sister or like uh you know like she was actually she did time or something like what but she seemed she got big titties she's so attractive yeah yeah which actually um i was talking about um you know aOC no our team what's it called our cortez she's in america oh yeah yeah yeah the one with this new utopian society the senator who i i fucking love her really yeah

what's your name is alexandria cortez okay yeah i i i i I would take a bullet for her. Would you? In fact, I hope she gets shot. You might have to. I hope she gets shot, so I can take a bullet. I can be a hero. Yeah, yeah.

I do it, yeah. Yeah. I think she's very good. But, like, I was talking to my friend about her, and he's like a bit of a bit of a sexist, you know? Okay. Bit of a, you know, a bit of a bit of crack, you know? Yeah. And he was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to vote for her.

She's got big titties. Oh, for God's sake. Well, I mean. But that can't be her only, like. No, no. Yeah. But he also voted in the presidential election He voted for Higgins.

Is that right? Yeah. Well, Higgins don't got big titties. No, he doesn't. Yeah. I like, if he did, he'd get more votes. Well, going back to your one, do you not think her plans for the, like, it's just like, I'm going to create a perfect world.

It's just like, oh, that's very nice. Good for you. It's not realistic. Well, I know that, but you need someone who's going to bring it in that general direction. Yeah, I suppose. It can't have, it's can't be. In for the stars, you might hit the ceiling kind of thing. Yeah, I like that.

You can't just have it I can't be all Trump No, definitely not Well she's like the other extreme Do you know what I mean? Yeah but we need a bit of that extreme Yeah no here look It's definitely interesting

It's that or like Beta O'Rourke Is he's running for president Have you heard beta O'Rourke? No He's now he's what the Democratic Party want He's a company man He'll do what they say And he's kind of cool and hip

He's the white Obama Ah the white Obama He used to be He was in a band Called Foss All right And he wore a dress in the band okay they were like real like um bit like Dave Grohl like

okay he used be a skater and he just videos him doing trick flips for the campaign you know he's like boat for me and do a 360 he was like that gonna do his sweet kickflip well he used to be a hacker back in the day Jesus yeah yeah this guy sounds pretty cool that's the thing they're really milking the coolness yeah yeah like um well I think hacker I think you know like um like you got a laptop on a dirt bike and you're doing a spin and then you like you land you go I'm in Or like swordfish

Where you get in a blowjob And John Travolta puts a gun to your head Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah Which John Travolta likes He likes doing it your way Let's go back to So I'll show you a picture of Bait O'Rour

Okay This man could be the next president Although to be honest with you I think Trump will win again You think? Yeah I think yeah I think people

People say they don't like him In opinion polls And when it comes to the crunch You know Do you want a man like that You want a man like Bate O'Rour Oh wow Look his big smile

He's very handsome Yeah He's the guy You get in the TV movie To play the president Yeah definitely Yeah The young handsome guy

You like falls in love with someone Young, hip sexy Yeah Well it's that or Bernie I suppose He's just like skating through The White House You slow down Like the older senders

Like you slow down you But then at the end To your own to respect I'm gonna use my presidential decree To get blink One eight two back together Blah whew all the Small pigs

And the senator's like And he's like, hey man, take a hit of this Oh, I actually quite like you, Beda You know what I think we need now some Doritos I'll make an excellent addition to my cabinet Senator of partying down That's what this guy says Yeah, yeah

It's like Bada O'Rourke Kind of a name is beta. Well, his name's not actually beta. His name's Robert. Well, it's Beto. Oh, Bito. Yeah, see, it's Robert, and he calls so of Bito.

Bito. Because Robert O, I suppose, like. Oh, okay. Bito. Beat off my dick. Yeah, yeah. Beat off my dick. That's his name. A cast member of Jackass becomes the next president.

Yeah. I love skateboarding, gnarly tricks. Big titties, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and like Sanders is all, you know. Sanders run again He's all old

He's too old He fell over in the shower recently He had a big bandage on his head Is that right? Yeah He needs to get one of those Like ones that you can step into Yeah

It's good That can't be the president And man The other showers you see You get in that kind of lowers And then the water goes Oh you sit there Like I wish I should have been dead

20 years ago You mentioned you have some opinions On the Zealand shooting And 4chan Oh yeah Like did you know New Zealand has a censorship board, like a chief sensor and all that. No, I didn't know that. So I kind of suppose, like, so they're bringing in like, um, gun control laws. Yeah, I did

see that. That's, uh, yeah, that's what you should do. Yeah, and they're taken away, like, it's not like they're taking away, like, all guns. Yeah, just, like the automatic rifles. They're called M, uh, M SSAs. Okay. The, um, something semi-automatic, uh, semi-automatics. Yeah, semi-automatics. Yeah, yeah. Uh, and they're taking, nobody needs. is a semi-automatic. The only thing you need that for is to kill a lot of people. Oh, if you want to feel powerful. Yes, that's true. What if you want to put in your girlfriend's mouth?

A handgun works just as well. Oh, actually, it works better. Yeah, true. Well, you convince me. Yeah, you don't want to whip out a gun that's bigger or, like, a lot bigger than your dick. You want a gun, like, a handgun. Plus, like, you got a handgun, you can kind of, like,

rub it around her face. Yeah, exactly. You got a big gun. But, so yeah, so they're banning a lot of stuff. So, ban the manifesto. What do you think about that? Oh, good. not allowed to have the manifesto. You're not allowed to print it, you're allowed to have it in your house. I mean, what constitutes a manifesto? Just a collection of words?

Oh, his manifesto. You're not allowed email to someone to get caught, they're like air. Oh, wait, stop it. It was like a bloody manifesto. You can't be getting a while with late. Yeah. It's hard to do New Zealand without slipping into Australia. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that your manifesto, Brit? Yeah. A manifesto. Oh, Pesto is the best of manifesto.

Played with Concorans. Yeah. Yeah. That's the... Did you cash in on this? Say no to the manifesto. I think the besto. Have some pesto.

Oh, yeah. Breach. He said your bloody manifesto song. I like it. It's very good. Where's Jermaine? Is he here? No, Jermaine's gone to Hollywood.

He's big star. I don't go to say Jermaine's... Tainted his own manifesto. Jermaine's gone out, right? Well, I just think it's kind of dumb that, like, they're banning the man. manifesto and like they're banning like you're not allowed play the video on the news like sky news played you know the footage of him shooting yeah the live screen we watched and masturbated suit together yeah um again i'll tell me funny like they played that video and you can't like the ding ding ding donations uh what was gonna say yeah i suppose it's kind of yeah why you think it's kind of dumb because that is like a historical team yeah true you can't like that'd be like you can't ban footage of nine 11 no god no because like it's history i won't i would i would stand for that yeah you yeah you would um oh if you listen here

Trump Trump if you try and ban 9-11 you'll have me to deal with let me tell you we will attack the American emiss oh I shouldn't see that I don't want to lose my I am a bit parallel about like you know like they might well you're like trying to enter America they just bring you a new little room

and play this clip it's all in satire in jest yeah yeah it's we're having the crack yeah but um yeah you can't ban the manifest and like they're really like they're pretty strict in censorship over there in new zealand yeah they banned a lot of things but also there's a cool thing to do though where they have like um for films and stuff like that they have a day where they show uh people a film that's being banned

oh and then they decide if they should unban it or not oh interesting so it's like it's unbanned for a day and then the public can decide okay and it's kind of like you know like they're not even like that bad films like kind of like like a clockwork orange or something yeah or like well the one i know is like you ever see ken park oh yeah i've seen kempark yeah so that has that has I understand. I mean, I'm not for banning or censorship, but that is a fucked up movie. I've never seen... I've only seen clips on porn home.

Like, it's in a movie on the Asphy Wank scene. Do you see that? No, no. Well, there's an asphyxie-wank scene from... Have you watched The Wire? Exfixie... You mean auto-wrotting Exfixie... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Basically, he takes a belt, ties himself to a doorknob. And this is like a full shot. You see the full thing, so it's a wide shot. He gets hard. He wanks. He jizzes. He goes soft. Oh.

And it's one long... unsimulated. Completely unsimulated. And you know who it is? Do you ever see The Wire? Yeah. Do you know season two? Yeah.

The Docs. Ziggy from the Wire. What? Swear to God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? It's Ziggy. Ziggy from the wire.

Oh, my God. Well, at least it was him, because when you first said the wire in my head was going, like, who was called? Because there's a lot of people I don't want to see that. No, no. It's Idraselva. Yeah.

Oh, no. Imagine, like, you take some of the older cast. Like that guy goes, shee. He's like, he's like, jerk. it off going she oh my god I know I never saw it's a fucked up movie

it's not a very good movie it's just very it's kind of perverse like that's the whole thing I've seen bits of porn home yeah auto rotic fix you don't the saddest part about

autorotic fixation the auto part doing it yourself yeah you should have a buddy that's true you need a spotter just get a dog or someone

you know what was he called what was the dog called ben bed the dog I don't even know yeah it was a oh do you spill

do you know what's that what was that I just dropped a penny into my coffee oh that's good luck that's good luck yeah

well yeah I've only seen bits of Ken Parr I see a lot of movies on porn hub yeah or freedom yeah yeah

alright okay let's wrap this up I just I want to say I watched the movie in porn because I try didn't not watch too much porn because I'm paro

that my dick will stop working yeah I get it like that too yeah I've actually I can't come anymore with a girl just vaginally

really yeah I have to like take it out and kind of jerk off are you serious honor or like um what about getting her to suck you like finishing her mind sucking will work that vaginally i just can't is this not enough for me anymore well especially with a condom yeah i can get i get with a condom that definitely slows you down but when you're bare back and i'd like just sometimes don't happen like that's a shame sometimes just i'm just doing it i'm

just kind of like staring at the light switch you know dimmer switch eh yeah i'm just like i'm just like like just distract because that's worried that porn will fuck you up like it's weird shit in porn yeah like the video I saw

recently okay it was this girl going under the bed to get something alright okay and she gets stuck and I use stuck

in quotation oh I already know where this is yeah yeah because it doesn't look like the step son walks in the steps have you seen this video no

I've seen the stepson walks in okay and starts fucking her and she's like mildly annoyed she's like play out of my asshole like you mom no she's literally like

oh bro one no oh don't do don't do I'll hurry up okay but just don't it's just like a mild annoyance like you know like in Dennis the Menace that's a rape that's what I'm like she's stuck she can't move he comes in and fucks her

that's a rape yeah but no he she was just like it's a mild like no on Dennis the Menace where he messed with Mr. Wilson his flower bed oh yeah kids a menace like imagine if Mr. Wilson got stuck, and Dennis just started raping him. That kid's a menace.

It keeps raping me. Oh, George, but you just... Boys will be boys, okay? You're just an old funny, Daddy. That's what your problem is. I'm telling you, Mars, I'm good. Every time, every chance he gets, they rapes me. I can't take it anymore.

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. at all. He's here, Mr. Wilson! And he starts crying. He's back. I'm scared,

Marta. He just puts a gun in his mouth. Oh, fucking hell. Let's end it. Yeah. Let's, we're off at the top of that.

Oh, fuck. All right. Okay, guys, that's the end of the show. Allie O'Rourke, be coming over. soon that'll be in the next episode. Cheers for listening, guys. Good luck. Have a good night.