Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 170 : Clurks

Episode Date: October 2, 2022

Brian goes back to the sex shop and then go full Kevin Smith

fucking stinks of curry in here there's the fucking line boys I don't get the reference this is a strange whiskey tour yeah I hate that a lot of these young girls now don't get this is England references

yeah yeah it's me sick yeah you go up to them's like oh no look babe I know you probably into like the the 86 88 or 90 TV series but I'm all about that you know don't walk away from me you bitch go back

I'm combo You just grab her by the orange Get back here now How dare you walk away from me Fucking cunt Oh sorry This is the free one Yeah

Just goofing guys We never see that It was a prank I do pranks It's my prank show Where I beat a woman in public It's a prank bro So we've got a lot talking about

My Iranian prank show Oh you like that Political commentary probably Well what's going on to riot You keep mention Iran I'm like I'm going to take debate and talk shit about Iran You're not going to catch me out

It's a great country It is Argo Yeah Yeah exactly There you go It's good enough for Ben Affleck It's good enough for me

Ahya Argo Fuck yourself That's what I tell Those Iranian broads Oh dequillas Ah shut up Will you

Yeah It's late Okay guys It is a A slight tinge of irony In what can's saying the slightest of teeth so we've got

oh I spilled coffee on my dick I feel you're acting like you did it on accident oh no the pain oh no I've accidentally clamp my nipples together oh can I tell you man

Where did car battery come from Oh well Can I tell you something Okay So not to get too into it alright But I had to buy something In a sex shop recently Right

Not anything too sexual. Yeah. Something that should be available in the pharmacy, but I couldn't buy it. Okay. A particular type of condom. Right. Flavored or? Latex free.

Okay. If you buy some latex free condoms, there's none in the pharmacy. Oh. Now, apparently the big ones there are, but you know the way in like the Glass Nevin ones? They're like, yeah, not in Glass Nevin, mate. No, it's just, it's an... That's notions right there. Yeah.

In Glass Nevin, it's just like an empty packet of tato with a rubber band around it, you know? It's all like sheepskin and shit. like that with still blood in there it's like yeah it's basically

the casing of a denny sausage uh give her one for me and some britt sticks

like that'll do you pal so I had to go remember I was telling you it might be on the

Patreon on Capel Street there's two sex shops all right and they're both kind of same in a way

now I was trying to buy latex free condoms I went into one I was telling you four in both of them

last time there were both guys were like the comic book guy in Simpsons fat guy, beard, very unsexual Which is kind of what you want I'd rather have like a butler type, like a Michael Keane

Batman type there, yeah But um Anal beads, sir Sam may just want to get jerked off By a tramp Marshall Bruce I remember when I found her in that sex shop In Burma

Your penis Was your smallest thing I've ever seen My bloody life And I knew one time you will beat up a queer with face paint. I knew it, Musselbrook.

I knew it back then. What are you talking about? But this time is different. So it walked into one sex shop. Yeah. Two girls in it? Two sexy dames? No.

Don't be mean, okay, but no. Porkers. Come on, what am I? Meet me halfway there, for God's. No, they looked a little bit, What are you running for office all of us? They looked a little bit underaged.

Oh, yeah. Dear Peteyes. They looked a little bit too young life. This is the coolest sex shop that's ever been in the... Where is it? Cable Street. Is it open right now?

Your old Cable Street got voted Best Street in Dublin by Pito Magazine. Great magazine now. The Beano. That's Pito Magazine basically. Yeah. So basically like went in. These girls, they wore of age,

but it looked really young. they're all giggly they're like oh yeah I was like I think these are high they're like red eyes oh wow

they're all hopped up on goofballs I think they mean smoking weed balls yeah oh my god they're like yeah

they've been doing popper bongs yeah they do bong hits but instead of water it's just am all nitrate it's just a bog up their ass

they need a popper to get up there right yeah so they were like yeah and it's like you've got latex free condoms

like ah what like looking around I don't know I was like Whoa, me Oh my God Mean

So just imagine Cheech and Chong But it's two underage White bitches Oh god That will be the new Cheech and Chong By the way

By directed by Olivia Wild Directed by Kevin Smith So yeah I've had a fun week Good So they went to two sex shops Yeah And bought some stuff there

Haven't bought any more poppers why did you still have your poppers I actually gave him away to a guy I kind of regret it now yeah it was like an investment in a way how much the bottle of poppers I also gave away my vape I bought a vape this week as well

and I gave away someone I keep buying things being like good this is bad for me and I give it away I'm like no give it back you buy a vape's like this is my personality now you take one dry

oh no man I was vaping it was giving me a headache yeah you were vaping hard too yeah that was a lot of nicotine It was vaping like it was a non-stop party.

Yeah. You were vaping like you were addicted to it even though you weren't. Yeah, I didn't like it. It was mango flavored, yeah. Yeah, probably made you quite nauseous, I imagine. A little bit, especially it was vaping a lot of night in bed in the dark. Just watching Alan Patridge. I was like, this is it, man.

This is the life. I'm like motley crew here. I can't wait for the old biography where it's like the wild years. oh Jesus I knew the wheels had come off eventually I didn't care Well didn't you're

Somebody that we know Started to berate you He's like You shouldn't be doing that It's like stolen valour Yeah You're not really a smoker Yeah yeah

Real smokers don't like it When the young books like me I start walking around Yeah Walking around like you sucking Robo bats dick Robo cap's dick Fuck

Fuck that up Thanks a lot Because you're still in me head with your fucking giving me shit with about my Yelp review gag. You're putting poison in my brain. That's so funny in my way. That's actually about Robo Box.

I don't even know what I said. But anyway. It's late. It's the free one. Who gives a phone? So we're going to talk about We're going to talk about Clark's tree in this episode right here.

I begs Brian not to spoil it. He's like, nah. That was quite funny as well because I was like, we're going to talk with Clark's tree. we were going to eviscerate and you're going to I would kind of

like to watch Clux Street Yeah I kind of would like to see it I don't have much in my life right now I thought maybe going back

to quick stop would be like you know meeting old friends Noit nooits smoking weed smoking waves

but I opt there to say Do an anti-depress in the bath oh yeah noit noits Yeah

yeah Yeah it's quite Yeah, it is quite funny It's like, there's not much you like You kind of like clerks You know what I like clerks You put on the whole like

Oh, I don't even care Kevin Smith is derivative But you kind of like You know you watch it And I do as well I do like clerks too I like clerks too I didn't want to admit it for a long time

Yeah But I think after watching Clerks tree I can go back and kind of like appreciate it Yeah And it feels like a movie The more shite That he churns out

Of which there has been a lot It makes me appreciate the good early movies like I even have a fondness for mall rats, dogma, chasing Amy. Let's go through his filmography a minute so clerks great, the gold standard right there

I mean but the thing is what made it work so well is it was so indie movie low budget underdog all that stuff now that you know it's kind of complete opposite of what Kevin Smith has become this sort of overpaid

over bloated overpropos steady on I love the first clerks is very funny and things like if Kevin's paint went on the other shit then he'd be like

this great like a novelty first film yes yeah like clerks if he if he made clerks then went on to have like not like a PTA exactly in career

but like a kind of career that was doing lots of like cool movie yeah yeah it's like you look back on it even more fun it's like wow it's like for first movie

you could tell like all the greatness already there yeah and like there's great like just the script is great filthy and just you really

you know again there's the kind of stuff that was quite revolutionary the sort of meta humor movie references and the banter and all that stuff you know and it was kind of like yo my and my friends talk about Star Wars and they're talking with Star Wars as well we say all the same homophobic slurs

Jay does and I smoke too much weed dude yeah yeah yeah and we had fun with that then Mallrats now I'll be honest I am not a fan of Mallrats okay I haven't watched small rats in quite a few years

again I saw it young I liked it I think Jason Lee is very funny in it and some weird stuff in it like remember there's like that girl who's having sex of people but she's underage

oh yeah yeah and then like you don't like it you're queer yeah yeah I threw something at him you did I knew one of my coffee as well

which would have made it funnier drink it now yeah I'm not now again I'm not being like oh you shouldn't have a sex with underage people

I'm not being lame, okay? I just told it was like a weird thing was in the movie and it's like moved on and you're like, what? Yeah, again, it's not a high point by any measure it's a very, you know, it's kind of like sophomore at the second film syndrome or whatever. Now what comes after? Chasing Amy?

It was to a mall rat too quick. No, no, no, I won't let you disparage mall rat. I just remember a few years ago I listened to a podcast and Kevin Smith was on it. Right. And again, that's never, that's never a good story. to a sentence I listen to a podcast

But they were talking about how they had like a screening of mall rats recently and Kevin Smith watched it first time in a while and he was like

a lot of scenes in it were like even the music choice and that's just like weirdly offset and it's not the scenes that should be much more funnier

than they are right and it's kind of like weird yeah okay and he was like oh yeah

that's weird and it's like that kind of I was like yeah I feel the same way kev yeah again

haven't seen it years so if I was to go back and watch it, I probably would agree. Oh, one little fact about Mallrats, go on. They had a bit in the script about someone putting jizz

in their hair and the hair sticking up. Oh! And he got taken out. Harvey Weinstein was like, no way. That's disgusting, all right? And a bit sexist, actually. See, that, we'll ask her

as soon as she stops crying and or regains consciousness. Yeah. Who cries in their sleep? I really did a number on her. And then the Farley brothers came along. Yeah. Now, was that a Miramax film?

there's something about there? Might have been yeah Yeah Mine being yeah Okay so is it Chasing Amy After Monarch? Yeah Now what do you think of that

I don't like that either Really? Yeah I find it quite problematic How so Lesbian Fall in Love With Ben Affleck

Yeah He turns a right With the power of his cock Yeah It's a message there I think I watch it too young It's kind of like God these people

Are talking with relationships Yeah Who gives a fuck Right okay Yeah I think that was one That was one that sort of Endeared him a little bit

Yeah Ebert loved that, look what happened to him. Again, another very good Jason Lee performance. Exactly, yeah. It makes me kind of, Jason Lee is sort of faded, like you don't really see your ear from him anymore. He's not a Scientologist anymore. Is that right?

He's Scientologist for years, I think, like in the last five months, he stopped being Scientologist. He's a skateboarder. Well, see, I was about to say he was, like, he was a part of that whole Big Brother skateboarding thing, and, like, so they would do the sort of precursor. her to jackass during like in the do little skits and stunts

in between the actual skateboarding that's where Kevin Smith saw Jason Lee just like this kid is very funny on camera I'm gonna cast him in my next movie and that was more rats rarely he's a pretty good skateboarder he's in like the Tony Hawk's games

yeah no he was he was legit good yeah yeah so I think that's why he's not really like too big into the acting and he's kind of like oh I'll do this oh I'm in this oh you want me doing a sitcom yeah I'll do that for a while Oh, now I'm just going to, like, paint skateboards and live in the big house.

Right. He's not like, I'm going to get my next big... Like, he was in fucking Incredibles. Okay. So he got money from a Pixar movie like that. Yeah. He's kind of like, I don't need to go out doing auditions and shit. Yeah, yeah.

Every now and again, Smith calls him up to appear like in like... And he, you know what? He's always good. Yeah. And he's in the fucking chipmunks movies. Oh, yeah. He made a shitload of money, man. So he's like, he's okay.

You know what? That's good. He's not buying Chinese from place. We buy Chinese. You know what I mean? Okay So what are we talking about So yeah

So Chase Namy Now you don't like it Because of the lesbians I was joking about that He's don't like it No No All right

Yeah I'm very woke That's it Yeah Yeah Next dogma I like dogma Yeah

You know you can't get dogma Anywhere What you mean You can't buy it in DVD You can't watch Any streaming service So you have to watch it Illegally

Yeah And that's because Harvey Weinstein What? Yeah Harry Weinstein Just like He owns it

Yeah And he's like You know what Fuck it I'm not going to give him the satisfaction Wait, well You come on What are you saying here?

Break that down No, this came out literally a week ago Kevin Smith was like I cannot get the brights The dogma It's in a vault It's a all It's a Weinstein production

And Harvey Weinstein is just like No, I'm not going to release it Wow I don't like you Smith Okay It is literally is petty That's hilarious Yeah exactly

He's in jail Yeah he's in jail He's in jail being like I got the last last Yeah He's just like screening dogma for all the pedos

and Kevin Smith's like please no come on yeah yeah remember the bit we threw him off the train yeah Jesus dogma is good

yeah dog's very good I may go back and watch it maybe it isn't as good as I remember but I remember a time it's been impressed that like

for a guy that's gone from like clerks this thing is like literally like end of the world biblical there's big ideas in it there is

and maybe you know it's not like it's big budget per se it's bigger budget but there's a lot going on there It's entertaining. Very entertaining.

Some great, like, great, like, performances. George Carlin as the priest is a very funny thing because he's so anti-religion or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I really like talking about. Look, I am a bit of a simp for Kevin Smith, but I will, obviously, I mean, we've shit on him openly, many times, and we will again, because it's easy and fun.

Yeah. But anyway. Then there's a Jane Silent Bob's right back. Which I love personally. Which actually my first Kevin Smith movie. Same. On RT2, yeah. RTE, too, yeah.

It's crazy. We could have been watched at the same time. Yeah, that's right. And I was like, out there, there is somebody who's going to let me say slurs, and he'll laugh, laugh. But then feel bad about it. But then I'll chastise him. He's like, oh, maybe we should cut out the slur, and you're going, go, fucking what? You bend over, man, your shirt litter.

I love, I have a real fondness for it. But again, it's very over-the-top, wacky, offensive humor. You know, it's great. It's a lot of fun. is yeah Will Ferrell is so funny in that but anyway

there's a lot of great stuff no but go on go on here we go yeah the ghost at the feast

what's wrong with it Brian I actually talked there's too many Star Wars references oh okay

well yeah that is something he does need to chill out he does but then what happened after that

then is like Zach and Mirry I believe no Jersey girl oh which was like a big ball I never seen it

I never seen it no no I did watch one little clip because someone recommended it to me There's a bit with Will Smith in it That's very, very good

Oh Yeah So the whole thing is Ben Affleck's character Is like a movie exec Okay Or like a PR guy Something like that

Right Right right He's trying to raise his daughter Because his wife Gets all silly and dies Yeah Like a daft bend Yeah

Yeah yeah But it's a bit Like he's trying to do the shit Her ovaries start PMSing And they just explode On the bus Like speed

Like speed Deutsch Oh You go over 50 miles an hour her fucking twad explodes fagg that was Jason Mews yeah he was cut out of Jersey girl

he was actually yeah yeah yeah that's true now because he got caught beating an actual jersey girl because he ripped her off anyway go on what what's that noise is that you

alright that was really distracting me right there sorry yeah I thought there's someone next door making noise I was getting scared like they're after me they found my hard drive The Jersey Girl fans I've got too many pictures of

Silent Bob on my hard drive I've got S.B. I've got hardcore SB Oh no Oh I'm going down I've got

Clarks the animated series I've never actually seen that It's what you expect I think it's like PG-13 It is yeah I think it was on after King in the Hill Or some shit like that

It's like a lot of them doing Star Wars a lot of cartoon references and stuff. But Jersey Girl was a huge flop, right? Yeah, but anyway, so in the scene, okay, he's stressed about raising a girl on his own. Yeah. And he meets Will Smith.

And Will Smith's like, hey, I'm Will Smith, you know. And like, it's weird. You know, I'm a dad now. He used to be like Fresh Prince. Yeah. And now I'm a dad. It's like, being a dad is hard. Oh, okay.

More than that, you know? So is that Kevin Smith going, I used to be a cool guy like Will Smith. I used to be the Fresh Prince of New Jersey. But now I'm a dad. with responsibilities. And it was a good scene, you know? Yeah, okay.

But, yeah, so in the more movies, who gives a fuck? So, now he's done... Red State. Red State, I have to watch you get. Red State, that is the most annoying thing. You know what it's like? Yeah. It's very bad analogies coming up, all right?

Go. You know when you're dating some bitch, all right? Yeah. And she's like, I can't be sucking that dick. And you'd be like, yo, come on, baby. Bitch, don't be acting no Jersey girl. Nonsense. You suck this dude.

I've been working the factory, y'all. day. I need my dick sucked. I need my meat on the table and my meat in your mouth. Bitch, you best, punish my knob right now. The king is back in the house. You're going to polish the royal scepter.

That's what's up. And the first she's like, okay, I'm going to do it. She gives you like the worst ass blow job. You have a gosh. She's going, eh, eh. Should I use my teeth? And you're like, bitch, stop. You're making me sad. I'm going to watch

Ellen Partridge, right? And then she's suck you again, and it's bad, even worse, and again it's bad. And she does like six blow jobs that are bad, but then one time, she does a blow job that's so rootin, toting, dang good. Yeah, yeah, you come. You come. Yeah. And you're like, what?

You've been saving that on me for the whole time? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, boy. And you with Flavva Flavis, they're so? Yeah, boy And then you're like Suck me again She sucks you again

And she makes cop out So it's It's all wrong A movie so bad It gave Bruce Willis dementia Now the timeline's wrong there I think after No Red State

Came after Yeah But still you know What happened After Red State I think he did like Tusk Tusk

That's a weird period. I've never actually seen any of those. I think me and you have sit down tonight and watch both of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My roommate's gaming darn show. It's like, get out of the way. Yoga Hoosers time.

It's good to you have a PS4 for this. I've got the Blu-ray of Yoga Hoosiers and Tusk. Apparently there's a Tusk too coming. Yeah, yeah. And the mall rats too. Oh. Yeah. Wow, okay.

It's all coming on. I mean, I defended mall rats, but I didn't think there was a mall rats, too. There's not even malls anymore. They don't exist. Fentanol rats. There we go. That's unlike me, isn't it?

Steal my thing now? Shitty wordplay. Okay, so... Word gay. Oh, no, look, I tell you, passing the crown, I've been usurped. The king is dead. Long live

the king. Bling. okay so he did Jane Silent Bob reboot recently I have not seen I watched it

I was really high and it made me angry I was you weren't mellow yellow I just had finished a bunch of night shifts because I was already half retarded

smoked a joint so I was very easy to entertain Brian I wasn't asking for much my demands were not high it oh it's stuck in my craw I don't mind

telling you. Yeah, where you were texting me afterwards I didn't like you're like this is it man,

this is going to make me finally finally got the courage and all in talk was his cunt daughter what's her name

fucking Harley Quinn Smith yeah oh that name alone that tells you

all you need to know so now he's released clerks tree yes so you didn't want I'll tell you

what we're going to do yeah we're going to do like edging here you missed James Silent Bob's

groovy animated movie which I also tried to watch. You know what? Couldn't make it true? I've read the graphic novel that's based on.

Wow, okay, you got me. Yeah. The game is yours. Do you want me to bring it to you? Please. It's signed by me. In blood. Yeah, that's good. You know what else I tried to watch today? Nick Kroll's new comedy special. Nick Kroll just dropped a Netflix special.

Man. Horific. Very scatological. He just talks about diarrhea. Do you do a German voice, does he? No, he doesn't. are really bad. He's like, yeah, I've got a voice in my head. It's actually Jason Statham. He's like, oh, you bloody dog, you're so stupid. But he can't do a very good English accent. Are you serious? Yeah. That's so, oh my God, that's so sad. Literally, I was looking up at Columtero into

night show. Oh, yeah. And Crawl was on that. And the thing was like, Crawl loves Jason Statham. And everything like, it's probably going, that's just him going to do the accent then. And that's the bit right there. Yeah, yeah. He did that bait on the night show. probably yeah probably yeah well i only got halfway through and it was bad i was just like it's worse signing his dad is done yes literally i mean it actually is pathetic what a badass his dad is and what a fucking man his dad is literally killing people yes his dad is doing shit like my voice got real high there his dad's doing shit he's going like like like night vision goggles hanging upside down with a gun aiming at a female rape victim's head

and he's got a gun instead of like one dot there's two dots and there's one on each nipple and he's about to fire and then his son goes like I'm dead Big Mouth season 6 is on Netflix did you watch it you didn't watch it did you dead

the shame wizard Is that a thing? I can't watch Big Mouth Well, first of all, it's not funny. Dead, I made child porn, but I'm still somehow... Literally animated child porn. But I'm still somehow really lame. Yeah, yeah.

And fucking Mullaney as well. He can fuck off to. He can, yeah. Because he's cheating on his wife, isn't that right? Yeah, yeah. He has your respect for the sanctity of marriage. Yeah. Who'd he fuck?

Olivia Mon. Olivia, yeah. The good Olivia. Right. It's wild and Mun. And Rodrigo. Oh, Rodrigo beat everything, yeah. Yeah.

A Latin X bitch like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just turned 18, fresh out of the oven, right out of the box, like a fresh pair of Jordan's son. Ooh, just ready to break him in. I just robbed a pair of Olivia's. I wonder what's had, is it, a pair of Jordans or her twat? What's had more black meat in it? I don't, wow, that's, well, that's too much.

That is too much right there. That is, that is certainly, that is. Jesus Christ. That was a lot. That would be great. That was a lot. I think Ray is a roast joke, but you're doing someone like Jim Elliot. Wow, okay.

So, back to, so Clerks three, Brian. Clerks three. What's a more black meat in it? Brian O'Halloran. Oh, no. So what we're going to do is a game of edging right here. Okay, yeah, because I am a little bit, I mean, don't spoil it, spoil it folly, but. We're going to go...

We'll talk about it and I'll go through the plot and when it gets too dicey Yeah I'll give you options journey So you can go Do you want to continue Like choose your own adventure

I mean I'd be You know I'd probably be doing A disservice to the fans If I went No, don't spoil it Because you know Can I say as well

What could have hampered My expectations Or my enjoyment of the movie Yeah So I watched the cam version Yeah you watched a cam version Now a very good quality cam version Okay

But you could hear the audience And it was only a little small hitters German. It wasn't many laughs but it could have been like an empty room I don't know.

I would imagine that's the best time to do a cam version as in an empty cinema. I'm working hard to defend Kevin Smith here. I imagine camming's pretty easy these days.

Back in day you probably had to get like a VHS thing and you have to like hold this big thing up. It's probably just an iPhone now yeah. Yeah. Like a really high quality

like an iPhone 11. You can probably just get a little stand put it up there and like who cares like is the guy who gets shitty pay in the cinema like no actually you got to stop that because otherwise

Kevin Smith won't make his money. Yeah. I like to do a lot is so you pay, you go to the cinema but then you go to the bathroom, take your shit and then just walk into another movie. What I like to do, it's the opposite. I pay for a movie and then she's the bathroom

the whole time. You're watching a calm version of that movie while you're taking a shit. Oh, just layers within layers. The best of both worlds. It's rather Kafka-esque. Like the movie Memento. in some way. I've never seen it.

Yeah. Hemento ham. Sometimes you get me, brother. Sometimes you get me. Clerks three. Let me just tell you this, okay? Clerks three opens up with the Black Parade.

By My Chemical Romance. Yeah, that's how it starts. Already, already, yeah. That's how it starts with Dante opening up the store. Okay. So you picture that right there. Light slowly turning on. Yeah.

My father. The circus I saw a monkey Like that right Okay whatever Okay I told me honest the word I know that's very cinematic in a way

I have to say this movie feels Very cheap Okay You watch the cab version No no no no that's not what I mean It felt weird They were moving it The cinematic choice

The audio quality What it's so powerful At one stage They dropped their phone Oh, she's made a mistake there By directing from Kevin Smith I feel like cinema sins Only someone who done media and done dark

Could notice these little things I hear The me's and cunt So like Clerks too Those like scenes inside movies Yeah Outside movies

There's the big dance number Yeah they're doing things Yeah This is very much just in the store, they go to a hospital at one stage, and that's it really. And even this, like, the camera movement is a lot of just like, people talk back forth, back forth, back forth to a very long degree, very long scenes. And there's no, like, no spoilers, okay? There's no, like, thing where, like, something falls over or, like, something is knocked over. I anything that would require effort, you know?

There's no, like, someone drops, you know, a can of paint, because you'd have to clean up the paint after you do that scene. So there's no big set piece It's all just kind of like dialogue scenes It's all talking I do know the premise So your man who plays Randall Does this happen very early on

Yeah he has a heart attack Yes which is similar to Kevin Smith Exactly yeah So then he decides I know what I want to do with my life I'm gonna make a movie And the movie he sets out to make Is about his life as a clerk

Yeah So it's clerks So again it's doing that The fun thing is The script he writes is actually clerks Oh wow So you get to see the scenes over again Oh, again, that's very lazy.

Pretty cool, isn't it? So remember the Eggman? Yes. You see the Eggman again? Is it the same Eggman? Yeah. How's he looking? He's he looking pretty good.

His name is Walt Flanagan, by the way. Walt Flanagan. Comic book artist now. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So don't... Well, watch your words, man. Sorry, sorry.

You were probably like, oh, I bet he's your fucking news. You're like, oh, yeah, winning an Eisner Award. Yeah, that's something a loser would do, James. Way to go, egg heads. Yeah, he drew the 12-issue Batman Cacophony series. Actually, no, I'll take it back. It was meant be 12 issues. Actually, I hate this, by the way.

It was meant be a 12-issue series drawn by Walter Flanagan and written by Kevin Smith. There's six issues, and we're like, yeah, we're going to get back to that. Never got back to it. Any other cliffhanger. Oh, that's annoying. Pretty disrespectful of the fans. By the way, not to get a tangent here, but Kevin Smith writes a little comics.

Oh. And he's the real history of not finishing stuff. He does strike me as a sort of lazy kind of guy, you know, just like, again, because his later work, even the Jay and Silent Bob reboot just felt very lazy. It's the thing, he's like sort of going, I've got, what's he called it, the view askew? View-asue of us. Yeah. So it's the same, it all takes place in the same world and it's the same characters. And he's like, you know, it's sort of, you know, it's symbiotic and, you know, one thing connects the other thing.

but really it's just more often than not an excuse for laziness and he just rehashes it's the same shit with the same people that he probably severely underpays Hey you want to hear something to make you angry

Go on He recently wrote a hit girl comic You're from kickass So Mark Millar His friend, he created kickass Okay He's friends are Kevin's mate And he's like hey do you want to write

a hit girl comic You're easy money Everyone knows hit girl Everyone was Kevin's mate Yeah He has a six-issue miniseries called Hit Girl Goes to Hollywood

Right In the comic book series Hit Girl finds out They're making a movie And she has to go to Hollywood To stop that movie Jesus Christ Yeah

That is disgusting That really is vile I know Because that's obviously It's Shane Silent Bob Strike Back But that's what the reboot is As well It's like

He has like four ideas that he just repackages with older, wrinklier faces. And again, older and older, every time. Every time. Anyway, so Kevin's made, we're talking to clerk's three. So, yeah, so, um, so he, what's his name? Randall has a heart attack. He wants to make a movie and he makes a movie that's basically made the first clerks.

Okay, trailer didn't show this. In the hospital, he meets loads of wacky characters. Okay. Oh my God. The wackiness here. You will, oh my God. Yeah. The doctor is dressed like a witch.

I do. see this little clip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like the way she delivers the line is like, it's meant to be funny, but it wasn't funny. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I'm a witch. I'm your doctor. The way, actually, you know how I saw this? This is probably

you know, the nerdiest thing that'll get said in the whole podcast. The way I saw that episode is I watched the Cromode and Mayo review. Yeah. Oh, really? Yes, I did. You purely for Mayo, don't do you. Holy shit Mayo looks like He just like he's on

A lot of sedatives I'm honest I don't know if Mayo So male is literally Like not a functioned human being No yeah He's like Like he talked with like

Let's say like the Batman Review Like Batman He's like Uh Bagman Yeah And he'd be like

No Yeah Batman Yeah Like Kermode is like So like Yeah

Okay So yeah Batman He literally does Something like that In this I think Because

What do you call it Cormode says this movie isn't mockish, it's just mock, and then I think Mayo goes, Harold would mock. Carmo's just like, yeah, anyway. That's what he does. It's like this weird

kind of like old man. It's kind of like what we do. Exactly. But he doesn't do slurs. Yeah, idiot. A male, white. Yeah. More like gayo. Yeah. We won. Got his eyes. He's like, gayo. Padre pale

Anyway Will and grace Anyway Say grace Prayer So And then they meet Justin Long

Oh This is hilarious Justin Long plays An orderly With a funny voice Okay Like oh I can't do the voice

I can't And let me try and do it Yeah Me me Me it's like Oh Oh I can't do it Hello

No that's not a funny voice that's a sad voice I simply just like I'm your orderly and I'm going to wash you down you're going to give me a sponge bet yeah some people like it

some people pay extra no I'm joking I'm the orderly that's just a long right there yeah is he kind of doing little Nicky's like I'm going to give you a sponge no that'd be too funny no He's doing something He's kind of like

You know by the way I would love to see you do it Bro I'm like Hello Get a fuck No that's not good That's not a funny Everybody wait

Shut up let me think of it Yeah Oh let me play a German guy Hello I'm German Oh that's mentally challenged Fuck it's not funny anymore punching down Are you filming this

Don't film this You stupid good Put it in a bag Like Chappelle Yeah I'm Chappelle They're not people Hello Now I'm the island

Sex change Well, hello there, everybody And welcome to Groupol's Labrish I'm Kate in Jenner Do beep beep Boop go for drive

Hock Hi, hi everybody And Kate from Zadry Oh boy so um kaitland jenner's peewee had a big adventure of its own eh it's late dudes it's late went through the garbage disposal anyway

yeah well look we all in fun that was the hospital scenes right there so then he's like he writes a script and the script is clerks wow yeah so he's like let's do it then and a lot of them just reenacting scenes from clerks and who do they cast people to play themselves or do they play themselves they play themselves oh wow yeah they love this though they have an audition scene yeah where they have people auditioned yeah to play it and man they have like you know all the jokers okay so you're thinking like oh it's probably it's got cue right oh the impractical joker oh man they got cue and you're saying q's good enough for me yeah they get joe they get joe

he's not even in the jokers anymore you know it's fun he makes joke but being divorced he got divorced. That's why he left the jokers. He got divorced. He got divorced he wants to spend more time with his kids. Oh, there's something up there. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. He's got some S-B on his computer. Sounds like he might be one of those

impractical pokers. You know what I mean? I don't even know what I mean. If I was male, I'd be like, pork sausage. Okay, so they get all the impractical Joker's to audition. Sal,

the other one. Ben Afflick's there. Sarah Michelle Geller is there. Fredi Prince Jr. is there. Wow. Who else? And they're all just like... Real quick cameos.

Right. One day on set. Fred Armisen is there. Oh yeah. And they're all, the jokers are all going like, I'm not even supposed to be here today, but they're all doing it badly. Right.

You know what? Screw, we got to play ourselves. Ben Affleck can't do it. Ben Affleck plays Boston John in the movie. Right. I think he's a recurring character or something like. I mean, he's been in a bunch of Kevin Smith movies, but I don't think he's ever been the same character.

Oh, you're right. Yeah, well, he plays Boston. He does like a De Niro impression in it, but a bad De Nero impression. Oh, okay, right. It's all right. A pair of other ones, like, that's the scene where it's like, you know, they're doing something funny.

Yeah, I mean, I think Affleck, you know, he has enough talent. You put him up against, you know, some of the regular, you know, Kevin Smith, reg, you know, cast members. I think Affleck's doing pretty good. Dude, we're 40 minutes in. I know.

Oh, yeah. It's wild. Yeah. I'm going to get Chinese after this. Yeah? You're buying. I'm definitely not. Man, you make so much money, dude.

Okay. All right, here we go. You don't want to see? No, no. Oh, it's going to make you sad. It'll make us all say, dude, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hang on, take a look at that.

Here we go. Oh, this is interesting. What does that tell you? Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Dude. Am I still buying? Dude.

Yeah, yeah. That's my life. That is my life. You're living on the edge. it's like an adventure for you every day it's like can I afford beans today I got paid 40 quid for winning the gong show last night I didn't want to mention actual numbers

but yeah you got what happened is that man what do you mean what happened to the money you got there well I still have it oh right I got cash oh can I tell you something really funny actually I got a 20 I got a 20 okay right here that money baby that's power that's power right there tax man's listening to that

it's like finally I got him that's how they got Capone You know something really funny Actually, I forgot to tell you this I was in Temple Bar a while A while ago talking to Jason Brennan Oh yeah

Great guy, good guy Top Shagger right there, yeah Okay And this guy came up He was like Dude, do you know a guy Who sells like weed around here? Yeah

We're like, yeah There's probably a guy who's selling you weed He's like no this one guy I gave him like some money He said he'd come back Is he coming back Do you think? We're like

You must have got lost Right He said he had to go to the the magic weed store and he's like yeah I don't think he's come back

but you know he was gonna be positive he was like yeah he's probably not come back but it's a story

you know he's American yeah yeah he's like what positive man or you probably like I'm fucking rude

I need my money fuck oh fuck I'm in so much trouble oh no they're turning off the lights

next week oh I was going to give the weed to my landlord But anyway, so So then they make the movie Yeah

And now, here's the first little thing, okay? All right So Rosario Dawson Yes She is In the movie Yes

Do you want to try and guess How she appears in the movie Um No there's a spoiler in this right here I fuck it, spoil it let's just go look, spoiler's ahead, I'll be fine I'll be fine, the first

hour, when it's first like 40 minutes we don't see her and you might be thinking like oh maybe they made a mistake and they forgot to film all her scenes or maybe she shows up at the end maybe she's in Paris she's not in Paris

what happens is Dante goes to a special place with lots of things sticking out ground called Headstones She's dead Then

She's dead Yeah But she shows up Then And you're kind of Like, As a ghost She's a force ghost

You know Like Star Wars Oh yeah So she's a ghost Right Turns out she got A car crash Her and her

And her and her and the Dante's child died Oh Yeah Wow Clean slate Yeah

That's a weird choice Why would They get her back I don't know So she's there She didn't actually

Near the in a lot of the movie but as a ghost you got to move on you know it's also a bit weird so it's her and her kid died she's a ghost the kid isn't there

what age was the kid didn't really specify it don't really deal with too much in the movie it's kind of like you know my wife is dead I wasn't even supposed to

have a dead wife today he's in the graveyard I thought he was supposed to be here today during the funeral So that's the first spoiler right there Okay So then they make the movie

And Elias is there Oh yeah Eliath but away He's got a very fat neck now Yes I remember that from the trailer He did And also he's got like

A girlfriend called blockchain Blockchain Yeah blockchain's really into NFTs Yeah blockchain That's like a crypto thing Yeah Yeah So by the way

They're selling NFTs of Buddy Christ now Okay Yeah So that's a funny thing Dog man Yeah And actually, Kevin Smith sold his last movie's an NFT.

Really? Killroy was here. Killroy was here. Yeah, it's a full-length movie he did. What is that? It's a horror film. Huh. It's about a man with a big nose who goes around killing people.

Oh, I see. He's not wearing a hat. With his brother, Bob. Yeah, no. No, he sold his NFT. Does that mean only one person gets to watch it? Yeah, the NFT, yeah. Kind of that guy who bought the Wu-Tang album.

Would they not just uploaded online? I think they're actually, I think it was like the NFT is for a year or something like that and after that expires he's going to release it. That guy is obviously just swimming in pussy dog

it's like hey baby come around and watch Kilroy was here funny if I like that guy you know the guy who bought the weed there he was like yeah I gave this guy money

because said he could buy me Kilroy was here is he coming back you think I gave him 25,000 it was something you know what

it's kind of funny is the rights to a Kevin Smith movie yeah it was something like 20,000 or something like that. Which is dog shit. It's nothing like.

It's pretty pathetic actually. Dogma. Dogma shit. So that's the first big spoiler right there. So then they make the movie. I kind of forget, Jay and Southern Bob were doing stuff. It kind of really washed over me. I kind of watched it late as well.

How's Jay looking? Because in the reboot he really did have this gaunt drawn junkie face. And when he spoke. it was a junkie voice he had a hoarse junkie voice I think he's a little bit better I think he's on the vitamins or something

right oh shit I just forgot I also watched his movie there's madness in the method wow oh boy pretty fun not good

Vinny Jones though not Vinny Jones is in it the crazy gang Gina Garano the one yeah was that her name

I don't know you're the one of watch you the UFC bid Oh, her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in the Mandalorian? Yeah, yeah. Then she stepped out a line. It's like, there's this weird scene in it, though,

where, like, Jay confronts Kevin Smith. It's like, dude, you're not helping me promote my movie. And then he's like, and then Kevin Smith's like, yeah, because I'm trying to fucking protect you, dude. You know how I feel? So people tell you your movie sucks. It breaks your heart. Look at me.

I became a pot head because of Zach and Mary make a porno. I'm trying to protect you. There's like this real, like, you know, heartfelt moment and it is pretty shit is there a term for like that it's where it's like

meta on metal meta schizophrenia I believe is the term you can say hat and a hat when you say

mental spastic that's what it's called there a meta mental spastic yeah right there yeah so it's just like it's just too much

like you know what they mean now and then the next year muse will make a movie where it's like dude it's about the making of met it in the madness

yeah where I have a heart attack and a guy I'm making it and my wife's Rosaria Dawson and she's naked and dead but I still get the Snoochie booches

when I fuck her yeah okay so so where were we Elias has a fat neck his friend is blockchain or selling NFTs

Jay and Silent Bob have fun doing stuff not that much fun it's mostly about to Is Silent Bob a little less silent He does talk... And when I notice he gets a little less silent

He gets more and more yappy as time goes by. That's why Harvey didn't like him. I thought Silent Bogg kept as much up. So then I kind of want to dance. I don't want to get to the big spoiler straight away. I'm trying to think of what else happens, but not that much else happens. It's all like drama where they're kind of like fighting amongst themselves.

Does it get real? Does it hit you with the feels? It gets real. It's like, dude, this movie is about it was wasted. our lives and we wasted our lives dude yeah um it's funny it's like it technically is like a successful hollywood director but he feels just as pathetic as the clerk's characters in real life kevin smith when he's just like crying and podcasts so um i'm trying to think do it just do it do you want it who dies somebody dies well let me just say it okay murder suicide dante is getting

more and more... Jay Rap, Silent Pop. No, Dante's getting really depressed about the whole thing, all right? So he starts drinking a lot. And then they film... You know the scene at the end where the salsa shark?

Yeah. They're filming that and during it, Dante's a full breakdown and he's like, dude, do you realize you're making a movie? It doesn't say dude. You're making a movie about your life. We don't realize. Your life is my life. Yeah. I've been with you

the whole time. You're making a movie about how hard it is to be working as a clerk and the fact that you know you know one ever gave you anything I my wife is dead I didn't get my third act I didn't get my empire strikes back

okay my wife is dead my life is the phantom menace actually have to say he didn't say that and that's restrained right there but my life my dead wife it's almost as bad as the prequels She's a regular

She's in the ground He has a big team He's like You know fuck you Fuck you I suppose to feel sorry for you Because he's a heart attack What about me

My wife is dead Oh Oh He grabs his chest No doesn't die He falls down And he's in the hospital Okay

I think the girl is also dressed like a witch As well And Justin Long comes back Hello I'm doing a different voice this time I am a Justin Long Ah Oh lovely

Is it made Justin Long Flottes Hearing me now Have you heard his new movies Very good Barbarian No People say

I'm actually I want to watch it People say it's like the best horror movie Of the year I kind of wonder Justin Long Sort of been out of the picture

For a while This isn't it's going to You prick hard It's directed by one of the guys From the whitest kids You know Interesting Yeah yeah

It's a whole movie and Tinky plays an actor who gets, he rapes a girl and he's got to go undercover Undercover? No, undercour, he's got to late, because they're like, the press is going to kill it. They're like, the press is going to kill you, right? Yeah, he's got to go. Yeah, I got to go

undercover, okay? In a girl's school. What could possible I go round? Come in this summer. So, he's got, like, it's about a guy who raped someone. Yeah. He's kind of like brave as actor play that, because you know every actor's rape someone. It's a bit like you're kind of asking for it you know yeah not like that it's being like if you're an

actor playing a rapist it's going to be someone being like did he rape anyone they start getting their little you know no notebook out yeah a magnifying glass on twitter you know but um so i think he's like a guy raped someone he goes to a haunted house oh yeah yeah yeah yeah pretty interesting called barbarian apparently's maybe really fucked up oh check that out yeah yeah yeah people being saying like i on red it i've been saying like dude when that thing happened yeah whoa and when the other thing happened yeah sounds like the uh Reddit people have a bit more respect for their friends

who haven't seen the film. But I must be nice. I must go on Reddit once in a while. Must be nice. It's our friends. Yeah. Our slash friends. Newgo's o' slash friends is all about Joey and Chandar.

No. It's not what I wanted. Okay, so... Dante goes to hospital. Right. And that inspires Randall to finish the movie and to make it more heartfelt. Okay.

Not all cynical. Right. So they make the movie then and he screens the movie in hospital so Dante can watch it. Yeah. And probably clerks three had their menace screening in the hospital as well. And Dante's little tear comes out and then be-eep and dies right there, yeah. So Dante dies. So there's no more clerks then.

Well, who knows? Because. Oh, ghost clerks. Then. Spooky clerks. Smith's wife shows up Jennifer Swaggerhorn She looks full on

Skelethor right there She is awful looking man Yeah I don't want to talk ill about a woman Or anything like that You know But Jesus Christ That bitch is disgusting Yeah yeah

She her ass looked like her face You need to wash your ass Yeah She looked like red fox That old funny She's down with the syndrome You know what I'm saying Red Fax

bitch open her legs it's red box down that motherfucker ha ha ha fucking what was the son Sanford and son she got that Sanford and son pussy she opens her legs it goes Bram brum brum brannet

every time the bitch quiff you'll be hearing the thaw Ha ha Can I say well My balls are so sweaty right now Okay Because I've been working all day Yeah

Like all the sweat is collecting around my balls right now Nice It's actually disgust thing. It's very uncomfortable feeling. Alright. Yeah, I feel likey. Yeah. Well, I need Chinese. We're at it. We're almost there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I think, um, so yeah, anyway, so remember in the second movie? He was going to marry Kevin Smith's wife. Yeah, but she wasn't looking too bad in the second one, actually. Well, she is now anyway. Yeah, good. So then she shows up and she's, I think she's kind of like, hey, I was going to marry that guy. Yeah. And, um, here's like a check or something like that, so you can, like, distribute your money, your movie. uh some kind of she's some kind of macuffin or something like that right okay i'm gonna or maybe she's like

hey i'm going to hey i'm going to help you i'm married to a just film distributor now or something like that yeah yeah yeah right so then uh x men so then she uh she goes and uh helps distribute the film right becomes a big success right but randall decides keep making movies but still work in store because the store is his family well that's retarded because you got blockchain there and Elias and Jane Silent Bob and all that I think Jane Silent Bob Oh yeah Jane Silent Bob They work in a

They own a weed Distance dispensary But they still set out in the back Because they still like doing that So it's kind of funny isn't it You're like dude They sell like oxy cotton or something No no that'd be too serious

So like dude you want some weed You're like yeah I was gonna walk inside Like shh dude bite he man Like yeah but the store's right there Yeah I know they don't own the store They own it yeah they do own it yeah they own it

but still sell it outside that doesn't make any sense but they're stoners dude they still like the

oh you're right I'm being a I'm being a buzz kill there still like control of the chase you know right okay

yeah so then so then um so Randall's so he's keep making a movie he makes movies

into his 90s apparently but he never stops working in quick stop he dies at 90 a very happy man Jesus Christ

wow I don't know if I want to watch it and it ends with them kind of like him standing the store all happy and then Elias

and blockchain are run around and Jane Silent Bob of a kite run around inside the store to be silly doesn't make sense and they're just having fun and he's like this is my hey you know what family it's not about flesh and blood it's about the retards who are so

spastic they can't get out of working in a shop so they're forced to be around you forever and the lucky ones die so that is a clerk's tree right now and it's annoying as well I guarantee it you're going to watch Jason going to come back, like, actually, Brian, I'll kind of think.

Wait, why? Why would I be like that? A little bit heartfelt, I think, you know, because it's kind of like, you know, if your wife died, you'll be sad. Well, you already said that because I disagreed with you on, uh... Again, you're over, like, so... Don't look up. No, nope. Oh, yeah. You know, it's funny.

You didn't like nope. Nope. I knew you didn't like it. Nope, and don't look up. Those titles switched them to make so much more sense. Think about it. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. And I got that Reddit to be honest Oh really? If you don't like it Blame Reddy Okay Oh yeah

I thought we were going to talk about Nope Oh you're still preparing your arguments I still need to get ready for nothing No it's annoying The more I think about

Nope The more like it Yeah She doesn't help them I was going to say Nope ain't dope Turns out Nope is dope

But I can't admit You know We're gonna watch We're gonna talk about Nope and I'm like Yeah Nope is good Is it

My wife is dead And then you watch The Commode Mayo version Nope Slope You mean soap don't you Mayo

This is why we had to leave the BBC Yeah this is Apple Okay But yeah So Clark's three Obviously I think Commode is very much like Look I liked early Kevin Smith

I think he has You know Potential to make good movies But this is not This is not a good movie So yeah Now we got We got Mall Rats 2 coming up

Yeah I don't want to see that We're going to have Jane Silent Bob what do they call something meta? Jane Sinalabob's meta turd movie that's what they call it

right there yeah the third movie T-U-R-D Oh dude The Jane Sinalabob Turd movie Close Encounters

of the Turd kind Yeah Yeah That's good The Phantom turd This menace Yeah We're getting tired now

You are Yeah Yeah Well go Wait let's go a little Quick round Right there Wake me up

Get my prick character I've got a lot of stuff here on my phone to keep me in the talk about and I just don't, okay, so this is a quick round right here. Go on. Okay, so, and we go a little bit long. All right.

Italian MP. Oh, far right. Yeah, far right, yeah. We're calling them the new Mussolini. Yeah, she. She? She's a woman. What?

Yeah. Missalini. Yeah. Hot piece of ass. Is she, yeah? Yeah, hot piece it is. Oh, my. She's pretty fun.

She posted a picture of a woman getting raped by a refugee. Ro. Yeah. My goodness. Real picture, by the way. Really? I was trying to find online.

I couldn't find the blurred version. God, National Geographic sure has changed, isn't it? And then I was looking at therapy. I was going on Fettle. Fettle? Fettle is the online therapy website.

It's like BetterHelp, but Irish, and a therapist look more ugly. Jesus Christ. Irish Better Help. Didn't like it. You can pick, it's weird.

It's like Tinder in a way. You kind of pick it. Pick your therapist. Yeah, I've always said, I want a real ugly therapist. Yeah, of course. I want a real ugly. I don't want someone who's like,

have you tried going to a party and all the guys buy you drinks Brine's like I don't I don't understand that I cannot relate to you I want one's like you know look on the bride no one's like spitting on you on the street no one's hiding their child

and goes that the elephant man no it's worse I watched this special recently on the comedian he was saying like yeah I've got a really hot therapist which is not a good idea because I go in there's like yeah I'm just so depressed about how big

my dick is and I can't stop making women come you know, it's terrible, Doc. It was your man, Ranan. Remember the guy Joe List had the special with, or the podcast with Louis? I think he said the name wrong, Rana, Rosh.

I'll give me a chance, Gene. You mean George. Rosh Hashanah. Yeah, you mean... Yum Kippoor. You name, yeah. You name, yeah. Okay.

But yeah, I actually know that guy, yeah, yeah. It was a funny special, I like to say. I like... Well, I actually, not in a joke sense, but I do think, like, you want a guy who's like a big fucking, like,

all right you fucking puff what's wrong you now yeah because if it's a woman there is a sense that you might form she might substitute either a girlfriend or a paternal maternal I should say

relationship see Freudian slip there paternal so that's what you're doing with the man you want the big masculine man because you want you have you want a daddy figure that's what you want you want daddy to hold you to guard I just want like a non-binary

kind of like a very boring. You know like Fred Stoller? Yeah. I need non-binary Fred Stoller. That's what I need right there, yeah. That'll do me good right there. We talk about his appearance on Seinfeld. Yes. You know he wrote a book called The Seinfeld, my Seinfeld

story? Really? It's all about his appearance on Seinfeld. But I think wasn't he like a writer or something? Or like a... Yeah, he was, but that's not as funny. Okay. So... What is the book? I remember listening to him on Marin and I remember thinking, Jesus, this guy might be the first.

guest who's more pathetic and self-loathing than Maron. Who did he fuck? He fucks him. Was he, uh, who's the celebrity that had the head of George Bush? Kathy Griffin? Man, he talked about fucking Cathy Griffin. He's like, yeah he fucked her and she was like, do you want to fuck? And I was like, okay.

And I was like, oh, I'm fucking you. And I was like, oh. Yeah. Oh, butter. I don't like this. Yeah. But I can't say anything. Oh, no, my dick is all wet now. Oh, my dick. I don't take a sweat.

I watched the monsters. Yes. The Rob Zombie Monsters. Yeah. Half save. Wasn't it bad as I was hoping? I kind of stopped watching it because it's kind of too good.

Really? Yeah, not good. It's like a... The only way you watch something on CBBs. And it's like some nonsense shit. Yeah. It's like, that. It's just like...

And you know what? Sylvester McCoy was in a... Who? Sebester McCoy. Don't actually don't know, James. I'm afraid I don't. The seventh doctor. Okay, right.

he was in a plane the butler right okay and I was like hey so that kind of bumped up at a lot of you I was like hey you're talking

out of your mouth all right it's the seventh doctor so you're wondering by the way the doctors it's William Hartnell first doctor

then Patrick Trampton right then you're going through them all no I'm not okay John Pertwee yeah

Tom Baker you know him like yeah with scarf yeah Peter Davidson he was the first man to wear his scarf

in the BBC See, it was completely revolutioned now I have just, alright Bill thought he was a bloody puff Colin Baker Yeah

Paul McGahn Okay Chris Reckleson Yep We're getting the names you know now Yeah David Tennant

Yep Matt Smith Peter Cavaldy Uh huh And some bitch Anyway What next there Watch the Omen

The original Yeah I liked it Yeah It's good Gregory Peck Yeah You're with that

Chess cheating Thing No There's a guy cheating in chess So Magnus Carlson is the number one chess player He played against his guy and lost He was like

He was kind of like he didn't say he was cheating He was kind of like It's a bit suspicious he lost isn't it I suppose he probably didn't cheat Like that Looked up turns out he had anal beads Who What

The guy who would beat him Beat the master chess champion Had anal beads hooked up to a computer So it'd vibrate Oh somebody was like, so it's like Morse code Yeah, he was asshole

Exactly, yeah That's amazing So let's say he's got Holy shit That's incredible Let's say he's got So let's say he's always happening He's like

He had his hand It's got to be like a real That shit's a little Yeah You have to be very composed But ever so Yeah I think I'll do this

No he's still funny I'm gonna move my pawn I'm coming Oh I'm not gonna move my porn action Yeah He's got a very sensitive Inol cavity

And he's also incredibly homophobic. So, along with the physical pain, there's an emotional distress. So it's like, fuck. Knight to King, Thor. I love chess. I hate queers. That's very funny. This man is Carlson. Look home. It's very interesting. He's number one chess player. Yeah. And you know what's also, this might not be interesting at all, actually. Go on. Recently, like, last year, he was like, I'm going to try fantasy football. And he was like, you know, fantasy football is basically, like, say a numbers game. Okay. So he was like,

I'm just going to do the numbers. figured out I don't even like football or anything he became the number one fantasy football player in the world out of like millions

it's a strategy based thing exactly yeah see I don't like I don't know how to play chess anything that involves sort of strategy or foresight I'm just not good at it at all

because my whole my entire existence is oh fuck I need that now just shove a big back up my ass like I need it right now that's my whole life I've got to jerk off right there

fuck oh god no hook to me more pills I need a drink smoking so I

kill myself my whole life is based on impulse you know so any kind of strategy or anything

like that I don't do well with any of that you know and I think my you know

I'm going I'm actually not going to watch the cam version of clerks yeah

I'm going to wait to cinema and get the whole experience along comes too

oh no oh go bye-bye oh no that was one of your oldest friends wasn't it you watch that

you kind of related to Dante in a way you kind of interesting you related to Randall when you were young

but if you got older you kind of related more to Dante yeah yeah Dante's dead because the

woman I love cheated on me with a fat dead guy in a bathroom too it's uncanny it's uncanny

she'll suck 37 dicks 37 yeah yeah do the whole scene again Oh wow Okay

Do they get her back Don't have played His girlfriend Oh they do Yeah How's she looking Um Don't be mean

Okay Right Let's say she looks You know Imagine like Brian O'Halloran Okay Yeah Yeah

But like ugly Not the fucking sexy piece of ass That's sexy Apparently Actually it's funny I mentioned The JIS

And Muse movie Madness in the Method Yeah Brian O'Hallorhan is in it and he plays himself and he's a real like you know great Gatsby you know fuck boy in Hollywood he gets mad

sneeze yeah yeah Jason Mews kills him because like oh you fucked my wife I know it yeah this is very funny it's like hey the joke you're going to cast you someone who fucks a lot and it's cool and it's so funny because you're such you were literally in multiple movies

and you're like toast of Hollywood and you still can't even fuck a prostitute you just won't take your money that's how fucking disgusting ugly you are you'd rather fuck Elias

and that's why Brian doesn't watch Commode and Mayo anymore but anyway Brian O'Halloran and a man not Brian you fucking idiot yeah people couldn't tell you yeah they can't ruin that didn't you I did? Yeah I did

well if we had recorded at the time you had said before then maybe I would have been ready yeah but anyway I'm in 12 tomorrow so I got a bit time so I can chill out so before we go

I tell you what actually fuck man yeah oh you have Netflix on your phone yeah look up Blondie

oh yeah Blondie is out tonight yes man you want to get Chinese and jerk off over some woman no I'll be jerking into Bobby Caneval

but you can do what you want hang on I'll save a it's out yet. See, it could be American time. Yeah, I think it is American time. It is out, the 28th, it's 28 today. Yes. Man, I looked up, actually, you want to look up

what's in the movie? Oh, yeah, it's only given me the option to play the trailer. I looked up what's in the movie. Let me see if I screenshot this. Let me just look up in... Oh, shit, we were going to, we never talked about Dahmer, but it's too late now. Oh, yeah, oh. Not that there's much to say. We can cut out all the clerk stuff if you want. That's cool. So I spoiled him.

We'll have been using for the podcast. So, let me just look up apparently some critics have been like it's incredibly exploitative

and basically rakes shit over the memory of fucking what's her name Marilyn Monroe yeah yeah Norma Jean let me just look up here

there was a list I can't find it right now there's a list of what's in the movie yeah so very sexual I hear

there's like loads there's like multiple like blow job blow job blow job blow job rape rape

she got passed around yeah her titties got slapped around you know Joe DiMaggio took a baseball bat to her tits

tons of not even looking at me ladies of gentlemen tons of graphic nudity is shown both full frontal female and male good

Marilyn is shown fully nude throughout most of the second act the film also depicts strong sexual content involving trisomes, non-consensual

blowjob. Oh, yes. Masturbation. Two graphic rape scenes. How graphic. A vaginal close-up show. What? As well as an inside view of a woman getting an abortion. Damn! So literally stuck

the camera. This is how much of a good actor Anand Armas is. They got pregnant. They shoved the camera up there and aborted a fetus. Well, the camera's in there. That's awesome. That's very cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Move over a cubric. she's so good she could make her fetus cry on cues that's that's talent right there

you gotta respect it's a real nightmare by the way wouldn't come out of its trailer which is just her box we're at an hour or 11 minutes we need to stop okay I'll be honest I'm a little bit dizzy right now I haven't eaten that much I need I'd love some chocolate or something you got any chocolate James I don't actually no I'm sorry my god

can we ask the Chinese for chocolate I got Nutella downstairs actually Do you want a spoonful of Nutella It's not even Nutella It's like the Liddle brand of I was annoyed because I was going to eat a lot of stuff And I actually didn't have it like big lunch Because I didn't think it was going to be too late

Yeah So I'm really running on fumes right now Like you could probably get Some takeaway places have like desserts I'm not joking a little bit like Just some chicken balls that do me mate All right I'm like you know

I'm fucking made a stone So I'm going to head off there guys Cheers for listening We'll do something else next week Who gives a fuck Alright, okay That's how he ended Like, give me chocolate now

Say what, Mark Maloney Next time you see me Have some chocolate ready And Evan as well You'll make an effort Yeah, yeah By the time I get over to the house You better have chocolate

It's funny I'm gonna get over to like two Probably 2 AM It's like Evan Evan Did you get the chocolate yet? What? We haven't even uploaded the episode

Are you? Anyway So hey Luck Thanks for listening and for all of the people who hadn't seen clerks yet, I fail your pain.