Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 175 : James Corden in Ukraine

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Cadden Corden loves Putin

All right We're going Okay Free one right now guys Before we start I will say I'd recommend

Going over the Patreon And paying for the Patreon episode We had a very good Patreon right there

We're talking about There's two women in my life One disrespect to my penis One disrespect to my cookies So you want to find out About those Hors

Check them out Check out Check out Yeah And if you want to Find out If they get their Comeuppance

Well just Keep an eye in the newspaper over the next few weeks. So we're going to talk about some James Corden stuff. Some SNL stuff. We're going to talk about this nurse that was killing people. Yeah. Which is a very common trend I've noticed.

A lot of nurses do kill people. Yeah. And it's not, I'm not saying all nurses do. But you know the way, same way to like, if you hate, let's say you are this, like, insane guy. Yeah. Okay. And you've got this kind of power complex. You want to take it out on, like, black people.

All right, okay. Imagine that. Imagine. I have power. Finally. Then you could become a cop. Or if you want to like rape children, you could become a priest. Not saying that all priests are like that.

Yeah, yeah. Hashtag not all priests. But I'm just saying like it makes the system self to make it easy for you to molest children. I mean, basically any institution that awards you any kind of power or influence, then it just seems to be set up just for you to abuse that. power in every conceivable way. Nurse, okay? So if you want to kill, like, kind of weak defences

people, you want to have a kind of power. Nursing's pretty good for that, because every day you got these people here that have to do what you do because you know better. These are sick, foolish cunts, all right? Some old lady, like, oh, my long is pierced, oh, like that.

And you get to slap around the bit. You're being hysterical. Shut up. But like, so it's like, yeah, even though just put her on the ventilator even though it's proven to kill people it's like you're going on the venty love oh no no it's actually good

to inject you full of air that's a good thing it cleans out all the bad blood in your system so like my roommate downstairs recommend this film called the good nurse which I think it's a bit of an ironic title because it's about this bitch that was killing people Amy Lockrede here

oh yeah she was killing people she was helping out this guy called Charles Cullen not like Ryan Cullen so Charles Cullen right there. Ryan Cullen's dad. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And they killed like at least 26 people. Damn. Possibly 40 people right there. This is like Harold Shipman.

Remember Harold Shipman? Yeah, but he was a man so I can see... That's true. And ironically, he looked like a paedophile priest. So, yeah. He had the real like 80s, beard and glasses, Pito look to him, you know? And you know, it's funny, that look is back now. Women find that sexy.

Yeah, but now it's all like young, sexy Jack Harlow types. Like, I walk up with it, it's like, ew, Harold Shipman. Yeah, I used to have nightmares about Harold Shipman when I was a boy. I was not aware of Shipman was a boy. I saw some, like, Channel 5 documentary. It's like, the Avo Doctor Shipman. I think it was called something like Dr. Evil. A million dollars.

Maybe that's what it was. I thought it was going to be about Austin Powers. And it's about Harold Shipman. You were like, this isn't groovy, Mom. Where's Scree? No, no. So I'm like you own a Harold Shipman I'll be high by way

So Shipman now I don't know that much about Shipman to be honest Can you elaborate a little bit And then we'll talk with James Corden Again he was just He was a doctor A surgeon I believe And he just

He was found to be intentionally Killing elderly patients But he killed a lot Like he was like Because it's easy Yes exactly And nobody like If a 90 year old dies

In the operating table Everyone's like Yeah fair enough Yeah Here's thing as well like so every like it feels like every uh maybe like say six years they find this one nurse who kill loads of babies or sick people it's like you honestly expect to believe that like it was only one nurse every six years yeah come on mate and you you see how the overcrowding

in hospitals is getting these people are providing a service yeah i get a guarantee from a supervisor they're like kind of like you know it'll be a bit helpful it was a little accident yeah yeah you know maybe uh maybe go out and have a few drinks the night before a big surgery you know that chemo patient maybe bring him fishing you know that might help him you know I knew it was you chemo

I know it was you broke my heart don't even call him the names like hey chemo yeah not the oh actually it's so funny he's a guy I know like and he's a lovely guy but like he's so bad how it names

so like yoke or ting you know and it's so dismissive it's quite funny like yes you're right Right, yes. Let's dehumanize people. That's funny, is it, Brian? To me, yeah.

To know, I'm just laughing of, like, doing a remake of the Godfather, but the Freed Hook character is just a chemo patient. I know it was your chemo. Anyway. That's not funny to anybody else, but I'm enjoying it. I'm having a good old chuckle about it in my head.

You weren't chuckling before, were you? No, I was a little sad. The Patreon, I got a lot. little uh you got a little malrose is that the word morose malty falcon yeah yeah I got a little morose yeah but I'm fine

now I feel better I purged all the evil and sadness out of my body do you want to talk with Jack Harlow first you want to talk with James Gordon what is there to say about Jack Harlow I was showing you I like Jack Harlan now I like in the video with Little Nas X and he was very clear like I am not one of those in every sense okay yeah I'm a white guy

and look I'm with a woman I'm banging the, oh, like, yeah, so it's set in a prison. The whole thing is, like, Lil Nas X is dancing in the shower with the men. And it's all these incredibly hot. Touching on a mane. It's all these incredibly hot men, and they're all choreographed dancing. It's all great. And they get one white guy, he's not dancing.

He's just sitting there fucking eating a pizza. Like, pussy. I'm having pussy pizza. And then, yeah, like, the woman who plays, like, the warden or whatever, She's, like, smoking hot, and she's, like, banging Jack Harlow. Yeah, because he's like, I ain't gay, yo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't even rap.

He's like, I'm not gay. The end. I am not a homosexual. Now, back to Lil Nas X. Is that even his real name? Over to you. Over to you, sir. A little Nas X is great.

I listened to his whole album a while ago. He's got some great stuff. Okay. He's got more than just those few music videos. You know the ones that are just, like, you know, extremely gay? Yeah, where he's, like, grinding the devil. Which, to be honest, I thought was pretty funny, like, the outrage to it, you know? Yeah.

And, like, people are, like, when he tried to release his satanic shoe with Nike. Yeah. With the drop of human blood in it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember that? That was fun, good times now. Now it's all Adidas and Jews and all that.

Yeah. Now it's a bit too real now, like. But anyway, so he was on SNL there. So he hosted, right? He kind of gets by, um, so he was doing the monologue there and watch a little bit of SNL. I don't like how I watch SNL now. I don't really know a lot of people on it.

Makes you feel like time's pasting me boy. Am I not it anymore? Am I with it? You're not young and hip and sexy anymore. Yeah. I'm not Jack Harlow anymore. You're not Jack Harlow. You're Jack Sparrow.

Now. You're Johnny Depp. Now that he looks like the mother from the goonies. You see that one? He looks like fucking Mrs. Fratelli. The fucking head on him. He should never have shaved his beard. Like, it's not a good luck for him at all.

I showed you a little bit of Jack Harlow and S&L. Why did he find him charismatic? No, he seemed very kind of nervous out of his comfort zone. Very twitchy, probably in Adderall. He didn't seem like he was on Adderall. He was very twitchy. Yeah. But he was kind of like delivering the jokes.

Like, obviously they get written for him, but it's kind of like he didn't even know how to do set up punchline. It's kind of like... It seemed a little bit like he was reading it phonetically. Yeah. And he also had caught autism from too much Adderall. He had that kind of vibe right there, yeah. Yeah, he was hanging out with Mikey Deia too much, and he got autism.

Yeah, you need to hang out with Beck Bennett. That will set him straight right there. No, again, look, Jack Harlow, his whole thing is, I'm a cool guy who raps and gets pussy. So that doesn't really translate over to the sort of, like, nerdy costume improv comedy of S&L. He's a fish shot of water in every sense. Like, he's better than it.

He doesn't need to be. be there. I was thinking like someone like Donald Glover. He can do character. Yeah, actually he can do everything. He's like a Swiss Army knife in a way like yeah. He's like a black art knife. He's a big black scary knife. He is

insanely talented. Like go back to watch community. He's very funny just as a comedic actor. Then he was writing for 30 rock. His fucking music is great. He's a good dramatic actor. You know what I was looking to listen to? On Halloween. I'm not done yet. He's

sexy his Lando Calrissian I was always looking up there because it was Halloween yesterday Remember Weirolf Bar Mitzvah Remember that song he did in Tarty Rock Werewolf Bar Mitzvah Spooky Scary

Vagely It's a dumb song Yeah But I didn't realize so It's like him and Tracy Morgan Talking that song That's all him He's doing Tracy Morgan's voice

And it's perfect He does a perfect Tracy Morgan Better than me A little bit better I must say now Only a tiny bit though Like dumb I'd say if you work on a little bit more

Yeah, Charles Gambino bear watch out He's gonna get beat up like Chris Red Wait, what was the Werewolf what? It was just some dumb sketch, okay Where it's like I didn't, I kind of got sick of 30-year-old I'm not expecting you to watch it all right, yeah

I'm just saying like it was a dumb sketch It's like a parody song called Weirwolf Bar Mitzvah I don't want you doing my impression To me, Donoglovers Yeah, like that right there, yeah Very good, very good Thanks, thanks, thanks, thank you, Dad Yeah, yeah, but I'm, look, I'm given,

We're giving Donald Glover his flowers right now what the kids say flowers dog you're giving flowers mad flowers fam no cap so i'm giving him flowers saying jack harlowe does not have all those abilities right there no no no he wasn't good he wasn't good in the monologue

and he really wasn't good in the sketches again now the monologue and the sketches are written for him and their dog shit so that's not his fault but he couldn't even do a serviceable performance like he he didn't even meet the basic requirements for the dog shit shit that is S&L.

Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? The only thing good about S&L now is fact of like just like all this drama now. We're like, well, Keenan is, uh, Keenan's beating people up by here now. No. Keenan's finally no longer Mr. Nice guy. Nah, nah, nah. That's what Keenan, Keenan has been Lord, Lord Michael's dog for years.

About time Keenham rose up and started just raping Lord Michael, you know, beating him around, whipping him, you know, making him eat dog shit, you know, get real fucking tough. When a hood, with a hood, with a hood. Oh, you bullfuckers do? Oh, no, it's Keenan. Run, children. So tell the people about the whole Keenan and Chris Red stuff. All right, I, let me break it down for y'all.

Okay, so, Keenan, obviously, from SNL and Chris Red is a former castmate of SNL. No. Not the most successful cast. No, no. He had, like, he was in Pop Star, the movie. He didn't really do well outside of SNL. He's kind of dropping a new HBO comedy special.

so anyway he gets recently there like a week ago maybe less he was in the comedy cellar in new york and he was attacked outside by two guys and apparently they kicked the shit out of him because like i just seen pictures of the steps leading down to the cellar fucking blood everywhere like they really like he bled a lot like he was taken out on a stretcher neck brace so that's to just malice yes that's not just like give us your jordan yeah yeah yeah that's right year. So it has, so he kind of, there's been a huge shift in S&L, a lot of old castmates left, new ones came in, apparently he quit himself very abruptly. And then just after that, it came out that he has been in a relationship with Keenan Thompson's ex-wife, who Keenan recently got

divorced from. So basically there's speculation now that there's a lot of animosity between Keenan and Chris Red. That's why Chris Red quit SNL. Let's be honest now, if Lauren has to pick between Keenan and Chris Red Yes He made the right choice That's not something like Oh Keenan or Brino Tool Which one should I pick right now

Which one's more black and talented Yes Yeah Yeah it's true No keenan is He's incredible And look I like Chris Red Like he's pretty funny or whatever

But he's no Keenan You know He ain't no Keenan You know Kel says Good Burger's coming back Really? Yeah Good Burger 2

Good Burger 2 Yeah Back in the habit Yeah It's coming back there now silly silly thing you just said sounds hacky and pretentious so we are watching

some Kel videos a while ago what's his full name Kel Mitchell he's very Christian now very Christian yeah he said something that I'd be thinking about a lot recently where he was talking about how like you know with Lego blocks you put them together

it's kind of like people in the way so it's like you and Christ two Lego blocks put them together they're built to be put together a Lego block on its own useless. Yeah. Okay.

So I've been thinking about that there. Yeah? That's up in getting you through the dark times? A little bit, yeah. I have a little Lego block in my pocket.

I'm going to find a girl or I'm going to stick my Lego block on her cunt. Jesus wants this. Jesus and Kel Mitchell want this. So yeah, it's... I call my cock orange soda and I don't care if she likes it or not.

She's ticking it. I do want to see way more violence in the comedy scene. but in Ireland and all over the world as well. Should I just start swinging on fools? I think you should, yeah. I was actually having a conversation with a comedian there down in Galway and he was saying

man, I remember back when like, if comedians didn't like each other they'd just like step outside and kick the shirt of each other. We should bring that back. That's more emotionally healthy I think. Yes, absolutely. What are they doing now fucking tweet? You know what? I think a lot of this stuff does

toxic masculinity I think is actually healthier than like what people do now. So like, let's say like back on the day, like, if you were mentally ill, you're angry, you're getting fights, okay, and you go to a football game and you'd like, you know, you're gang with a ref, you bar his head him with a brick, you know, like that. That was how, and then you go home, you eat your egg and chips, you'd be grander, right? And now it's like these people who like, they don't get that release. So they act like they're like, um, like a balloon man and they're kind of like slowly deflating in a way. Yeah. It's like they're collapsing

in on themselves. imploding. imploding like a black hole. It's almost like a lot of the stuff that's like, you know, I'm going to talk a lot. I'm going to tell people my feelings. I'm going to take mental health days over and over and over again.

I don't think that's healthy. I think a lot of people go in the therapy are justifying their own narcissism, by the way, as well. Yes, yes. And also people on antidepressants are weird. Yeah. So just, you know, unless they take two at the same time, then they're cool. Unless they mix of a Coke.

I like them now Which you can do That's fine Just don't be fucking with the Molly son No you're right though There is a real like People do fetishise mental illness And it's also like a great

Get Out of jail freakards like Oh I assaulted someone But I feel sad sometimes Like I was hearing about like Yeah we know someone actually a while ago Like had someone be like Give us your titch love Oh oh it's the touch of the old

fucking mental health Like you know I couldn't help it Oh my demons my personal deities? Come on, you fucking, come on, you fucking bitch. Come on, you don't know. Oh, well, let me touch it.

Give me a tiny little pussy, you fucking bitch. I felt sad once in 2003, so give me that pussy. But, yeah, how did we get on to this? So, Chris Redd. Chris Red, yeah. So he's getting beaten.

Did you want to say anything else about how mentally ill people are wrong? I'm just saying that Keenan's good, mentally ill people bad. That's what I'm saying there. Mentally old people cannot support Nestle

sketch the same way Keenan can't. Which is why the show sucks now. There's a lot of new people there now, yeah. Yes. Yeah, I wonder if any of them tried to take mental health days. Better not. Lauren wouldn't load that now. No, he wouldn't. But anyway, so yeah, the speculation is Keenan

hired a couple of ruffians to beat the shit out of Chris Red. Now, I will say this now. I did see a little trailer for Chris Red special. Okay. And he had some stuff there that wasn't bad. Oh. I wouldn't say good. Yeah. But it wasn't, like, embarrassing. Also, I think he was dressed in leather

Which is very pop Certain comedians do like to be dressed in leather Do they? You know what I'd be saying? Which comedians? You know what I'd be saying? Who's that? Oh, right.

You wouldn't see Kevin Bridges dressed in leather, would you? Dressed not all a red, like... Like a red jumpsuit with a bit, like, frilly, furry shit hanging off the back of it? A real tight suit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, Bridges is good, I was watching the Bridges there a while ago. Bridges is underrated, I think. Yeah, he's lost a lot of weight now. He's quite like... Man, he's ripped. now. Is he?

Yeah. I was going around New York beating up black comedians. A real perfectionist

I've been led to believe. I remember like chatting to somebody again at the Goalith see the thing

with the golf festival there was actual successful comedians at it so I was just sort of slinking around like

we walk around a picture you walk and just farting everywhere. Just eating the kebabs spilling it

everywhere. It doesn't stay in the rap. What am I supposed to do? I don't care if it's a library. I'm allowed to eat this kebab.

Oh no, my trousers fell darn because I was confused. I got distracted from holding my kebab. Somebody helped my trousers. You end up eating your own belt. You're trying to tie your trousers together with a capat. It's okay. My belt is allowed.

I'm a perfectionist. Well, yeah, Kevin Bridges is a very, very good guy as well. Yes. Barley smoked weed. Oh, well then. I can't in all good conscience support that. So, yes, I just want to say,

I don't support Israel or Kevin Bridges. There, I've said it. No, I've heard he's a very nice guy. He is very funny, like, no doubt. Like, he kind of made it big when he was, like, 21. Yeah. Well, he had that old dog face of his. So, like, you know what I mean?

You can't, he was 21. People were like, oh, you're a retire soon, are you, Kevin? him and Jack Whitehall showed up together saying oh Jack was nice to bring your dad with you oh yeah bloody yeah they were friends apparently

yeah Jesus but anyway it's disgusting actually Jack Whitehall's doing movies the rock now where's bridges bridges is the Galway we fished him out of a canal

I want to see bridges with the rock that means you know Black Adam yeah I want to see Bridges of Black Adam too man I can't wait for see Black Adam. My friends all thought they said it's awesome. Oh yeah. They all went and didn't invite you. Yeah, exactly.

They do that sometimes. It's a joke. It's a goof, isn't it? It's a funny joke. Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? They're all having fun, aren't they? And they make sure to post pictures. And tag you in the pictures, even though you're not there. And they call me hurtful slurs. Yeah, yeah. Aren't even accurate.

Bantor, what do they call you a heap? Yeah. Oh, wait, we're not allowed to say that anymore. I don't like that. I don't like that. No? I love with you, pussio I don't want to lose my shoes Pustio Adidas will take all my shoes

My very cheap penny shoes Yeah, yeah Anyway Speaking of parents actually Yeah You want to talk about James Corden Because James Corden Because James Corden wheeled his parents

Out there on TV Yes So Corden's kind of It's kind of like a very Yo, can I just go off on Corden there Do it! Okay, good one thing Okay, so Corden go in trouble

because he's mean to someone in a restaurant, all right? and then he went on his show and gave his side of story and he's been acting like a pussy now I'd respect me and said hey that server in the restaurant was acting like a bint and I battered them no regrets but he comes down and he's like

well I just found out my wife was allergic to something yeah how's he just finding that out now exactly yeah so they gave me something with the stuff that my wife is allergic to and I say can you please bring it back oh what is it seeming because she doesn't swallow mine either allergic to fat white guys so then he's like

did it again did again I made one sarcastic comment but I know now I shouldn't have done it and it's like you should be like here you could have killed my wife yeah and then he's like you're right I shouldn't have stopped I should have made my wife eat the food

you know and we just get an epipen in the way home if she survives now here's the thing he was given his side of story of whatever it has been a pretty open secret for a long time that he is like insufferably rude to pretty much anyone that meets him outside

like if you're not talking to him on the set of the late late show he will spit in your face he's very rude he's belligerent he's got knives yeah yeah so like it's kind of it's been well known for a while so what he was like oh fuck it I'll make it myself then do you need me to go back there and cook it myself

I think he said that but he says almost like oh I'll make it myself will I who only joking but I think in real life he was like getting up on the table like screaming and like you know fuck I'm cunt say you you can't

I'll cut you first you fucking dog he glassed him cunt like yeah so yeah so there's been backlash over that but it's kind of been mounted a lot of people are just like

there's just so many stories of him being a prick this one just got traction because the celebrity or not the chef the guy who owned the restaurant he's kind of a mini celebrity himself. The guy is, you know, like the guy who owns the white

moose in Dublin? Yeah. Now, I don't really know him, but there's, you know, it's funny, there's people in Dublin, so he's like a, like, kind of like, you know, kind of troll kind of guy. He says all the stuff like, you know, like, it's like, vegan's kind of like the guy who's like, ooh, vegan, uh, I identify as a helicopter

vegan, you know, that kind of guy, all right? He is gay though. I know, yeah, yeah, but like, that doesn't mean nothing these days, okay? No, true. I mentioned before, basically a Nazi. I mentioned before as well, all the kind the groups that are like minorities eventually become Tories. I've always said that, okay? So, watch

out for that. LGB-Torri. Yeah, so exactly. So, my point was, he just says stuff, kind of stupid stuff like that, all right? It was like, oh, people who are on skateboards, they should get a job, you know, people like that. And there's people who, like, in real life are like,

that guy shouldn't be saying that, oh, they get real angry. So they just ignore it. Yes. So that white moose cafe is basically homeless compared to this Baltazar guy So Baltazar guy Very like It's a real hot spot in New York

All the celebrities go there So that guy's a real catty Nathan Lane type apparently He was like you're in my restaurant Not likely Oh I tell you how much the food cost But you couldn't afford it Like that

So then like another catty fucking fat Fatsso walks in And it's kind of like You know when the two alpha dogs meet okay So then their heckles get up And they fight And the guy batting James Corden

But now, because he got to publicity, he now's like, oh, James Carden come back. We're all off good now. Oh, right. Yeah, and there probably will be, he'll go back and they'll have a picture taken together. Oh, yeah. They squash the beef while eating beef straggenoff,

and we're all supposed to love the ironic wordplay of it, are we? Meanwhile, the Mexican waiter who got fired is hanging himself with his daughter's pinata. Well done. While there's beef straggenoff on the floor. Oh!

But anyway, And so, yeah, he was getting flack for that. And now people are kind of jumping on the bandwagon because one of the jokes that he made and one of his opening monologues on the show is a complete word-for-word rip-off of a Ricky Jervais joke. It's word-for-word, also the expressions he uses and all that. The inflection.

The exact same. I'm wondering now, I wonder if are the wheels falling off a bit for Gordon? Because he's been on TV for a long time. He's leaving the show now, though, isn't he? That's what I mean? So how long has he been on the late show? Has it means since, like, 2014? or something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So nearly

10 years. Maybe less than that. I don't know exactly, but he's been there for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my point is been there for a long time. He was never really accepted either. Well, no, he's been doing well though. Has he? But you're on that long. Carpool karaoke was a massive success. I suppose, yeah. So

he's doing well and for a long time, he was squeaky clean. These stories won't coming out. Yeah. I wonder, it's coming out now because, like, here he won't be around much longer. We can start leaking shit. Yeah. I wonder when he's stops doing the show will we get tidal wave down of some really juicy

stuff? That would be good. Where it turns out he was a nurse killing people. Yes, yes. I like that now. Yeah, I mean, it's very possible, but you know what? He can always come back to Sky and do a league of their own with Ramesh, Ranga Nathan and Freddie Flintoff.

They're very forgiven fellas. They'll open them back, they'll bring them back with open arms. With special guest star Gary Neville. Yeah, yeah. And that all, they'll put Josh Whittickham in a cage and poke him with sticks. And piss on him. That'd be pretty funny now. I'd watch that.

Yeah. Old Josh A. Yes. You know Josh Whittigham is a book out? Really? Yeah, it's all about Neighbors. As in his... It's the TV show Neighbors. Oh, what?

Yeah, that's wacky, isn't it? What the fuck? It's all about the 90s and how he used to watch Neighbors twice a day. Wow. But here's the thing, I think it's a metaphor for life in a way. How? You know, the drama of it all, but, you know, okay. right?

No. No. No. Yeah, I don't know. It's not stupid. Yeah, he is stupid like. Yeah, I actually... He's a bad man.

Josh Whitacom is kind of like my white moose cafe odor. Anytime he says anything, I'm like, fuck you. Josh Whitakim's like your Mike, not Mikecroft, Moriarty.

So you're Cheryl Holmes in a way. I always said that about you, James. You're very, you're actually too smart for this world, you know? You're always made connections. You always like, you know, looking around.

You can tell stories, let's say you see, a man. You're like, ah, I can tell you're a botanist from Peru, and you're also probably Jewish, aren't you? Yeah. I really wish I could do that, just walk in. It's like, like Cracker. Yeah, exactly, yeah. But Crackers

basically fat Sherlock Holmes. So, like, you can see, like, let's say a woman has some dirty fingernails, you're like, ah, I can tell now you're probably wanking off a tramp, weren't you? And you probably loved it. You didn't even wash your hats. You like to walk her out all day with the

smell. It's the faintest of scent, but it gives you a giddy little thrill, doesn't it? You like to wank off ten tramps in a night. You don't wash your hand, you collect the smell, it gets smellier and smellier each time, and then what you do, you lick it. And then you go back to work in the nursing home. You don't sanitise. You feed old Judy, her jello with a spoon. And little does she know she just, sucking up trap jizz

molecules you fucking god elementary my dear Watson Watson and anyway

my point is your Sherlock Holmes and Josh Whitakum is Moriarty he's your nemesis

he doesn't know it yet no he doesn't someday he will know he will and eventually

you have a big fight on a cliff and you both fall off together and be a beautiful

debt I land on him and my cock goes in his ass just before he explodes

like a big sack of meat Speaking of breaking and entering Nancy Pelosi's husband Oh, that's a very good segue We're right there, yeah Have you watched any of the conspiracy stuff about the case? I haven't went in depth

But I've heard there's Yeah, so what Do you have you? So this guy, I forget his name now I think his name's like Dave's. David something Yeah, okay, he was like a pro nudity Q and on guy

Which is a fun mix, isn't it? Also, I heard he was quite LGBT Like his I think you're hearing that from certain people I think, no, that's what I'm saying. There was like, he basically was showing very... You're like, I heard he's, I heard he's gay, he doesn't like me. That's why I heard there.

He hates people from Monaghan, that's why I heard. Yeah, no. But there's like, he was basically showing conflicting ideologies. Like, so he was, like, a nudist and sort of had LGBT flags in his place. But then also he was expressing kind of like QAnon rhetoric. Well, I think he's a classic case right there of people who, like, when they're, how do I phrase this right? There's people in like

the 90s and the area 2000s that were like I'm going to be against the system oh yeah I support gay marriage I like gay marriage fuck you Republicans but then like some gay people next door

and they're like well I didn't agree to this now I'm actually going to go against that now and then the kind of stuff that they're being rebellious against okay let's say like legalizing weed gay marriage

abortion stuff like that when they start seeing it in the media even though it's a very small like you know it might see like two HBO shows about it they're a bit like I actually don't like this now this is too mainstream for me so now I'm going to go full on to the Q and not what happened did you know oh that's it

I'm done I'm done I don't you know what umbrella academy what's that no no I'm going to start believing that that Kennedy guy is alive now you know so they go full QAnon because QAnon's now the more rebellious thing

yeah especially they go to like parties okay let's say they go to thanksgiving and their cunt daughters all like oh they shouldn't have stormed the capital like that okay that just makes you want to storm the capital even harder right capital is what a call array

I'm gonna stick my Viking helmet right up there sweetie and you ruin Thanksgiving yeah yeah so my point is they all go Qing on now so a lot of people I think have made that transition

yes in the last few years yeah I think this guy was like that. Then he went very Q and on, very weird, very kind of like a lot of these guys as well are into this thing about depopulation no, we need to overpopulate.

Right. So you know the whites. Like what you are, okay? What? What proof do you have of this? So the whites aren't fucking enough. Don't tell me who I'd be fucking, I'd be out there slagging my shit. I'll hear how my fuck is getting a taste.

So the whites, the James Let's say all the Jamie Foxes They're all fucking And all the white guys Aren't They want them to stop They can't They won't

Yeah He's just so fucking talented Yes So though He really is Well he's like Another like Donald Glover Just can do everything

Those two like Renaissance man Yeah Right there Yeah It's absurd How talented they are They're almost like No I'm depressed

Fuck So anyway So Jamie Fox Battered Nancy Pelosi's husband Yeah Okay so the official narrative, were you going to say anything else before I was going to say, this guy, okay, start

getting to hold George Soros, Nancy Pelosi's evil, all that stuff there, he breaks in the house, looking for Nancy, and he batters Paul Pelosi with a hammer. Okay, that's the official narrative. Right, now you go. I actually don't know, like, so basically there's speculation

that he was basically, is he a rent boy or a boyfriend of Paul Pelosi? A boyfriend, that's boyfriend. That's what that guy I don't, again, I haven't went in depth with this There isn't much to go in debt in depth. Okay, so where are the like how

what are the arguments that people are making that this guy wasn't a brick in an entering situation? Back to he's in his underwear. Okay, yeah, so he's in his underwear and what else? There's really not much there. I watched a video about this by that, you know that Paul Joseph, imagine my shock guy? Paul Joseph Watson? Yeah, yeah. So, can you believe that there is a bloody buffdy

up there? Yeah, so he was like, let me tell you, the secrets. It doesn't add up at all. Unbelievable. Are we supposed to believe? Yeah. So it was a 15 minute video. He talked about this for about 8 minutes. The rest was his big ad in the middle. It was like, wouldn't it be good

if you were a lord? Well guess what? Now you can be a lord. Lord Watson or like the sound of that has a ring to it, I agree. Now you can buy land in Scotland and you can become a lord. Ever wanted to get served in a restaurant quicker? Mention

you a load and you'll get the food nice and quick. So that's the service he's selling right there now. Sounds pretty good. Yeah, watch that. Sign me up, brother. Lord Cadden right there. Lord Cadden the third. Then they wouldn't make funnier. It's actually

Lord James Edward Cadden the third. They just come out and be like, yeah, Paul Pelosi's gay. Oh, fuck, I dropped my cup I'm again. Somebody help. Anyway, so anyway, so basically it's very little to go on.

I think in the police call, the guy, Paul Pelosi was like, oh, this guy's attack me, he mentioned the guy's name. Yeah, so this... But that could have the guy might have said his name during attack or something like that. He was there in his underwear.

Also, I heard Pelosi had a hammer too. I heard they both had a hammer. Like, they were kind of going at each other with a hammer. They were having hammer wars, were they were hammer. They were hammer. It was hammer time. Whoa, whoa. Yeah, I know

There's a lot of weird speculation, who knows Remember that QAnon guy shot that Mafia boss as well? What? Remember that? No? That happened like two years ago, yeah. There was this mad QAnon guy

just walked up this well-known mafia boss Like basically this guy was like Warton the grass, okay? And he came out and just shot him in the head. Why? Because he was a Q&on guy. He was just like, you know, I'm saving the day because he thought this mafia guy

was connected to the government. Oh, probably was. Probably, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I mean these QAnonon guys go around doing this stuff. They're doing the Lord's work. Saviars in the night protecting us.

Debatable. Debatable, I say that now. You might agree with it. I might secretly agree with it and not safe. But I remember I was telling you, Paul Pelosi, this guy he got a DUI a while ago, so it's kind of like you know, learn your karma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's a bit of a, the cordon effect. You know,

all the bad stuff's coming out now. But it is like a little bit like, I do think America is going to get a little bit more violent sense right there well they're kind of they're coming up to the midter it's the midterms now right midterms is very soon yes okay so 2024 is going to be the new election everyone you're starting to see like hash geez we're only a half hour in continue hashtag the red wave is coming like people are saying there's definitely like you know because Biden's doing such a bad job that they're gonna like get

a i've heard Biden's doing an all right job really i've probably brought in some stuff to ain't too bad but, you know, because he's all sleepy, people are like, you know, fuck you anyway. Also, like, the, the inflation and, like, this, like... I heard it wasn't his fault either. The inflation. Yeah. The inflation... Trevor Noah said it's

okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, but the inflation, like, you know, it's not the entire reason, but a big aspect of it is the thing in Ukraine and they are being very negligent. They're really, like, they're basically back in Putin into a corner, poking him with a steak, saying,

what you're going to do pussy what you're going to do it's like the NATO expansion in Ukraine is the main reason why fucking Putin wants the Dunbass region they're not giving him any other option he's a fucking maniacal warlord with the most nukes in the world and we're like what you're going to do pussy giving more money to Ukraine and arms let me play fucking Zelensky on the cover of Vogue let me play I'm wrong they said for Zelenskyy woman of the year yeah but my what what what pussy of the year let's just say like devil's advocate for a minute

yes what do you know what people not say though it's a little bit like uh neville chamberlain and his policy of appeasement during the time of hitler when hitler was getting bigger what would you say about that i don't know what do you what does that mean oh so before before churchill yeah neville chamberlain was prime minister and he was really like maybe hitler you know maybe you should help him out a little bit you know maybe he has a point maybe just give him a little bit of France a little bit of Poland, you know, like that. So would you like that

or you want to go full Churchill and be like, fuck Putin? It is like, that's a false equivalency because it's a completely different world. I mean, America has like the biggest military industrial complex imaginable. They are the most formidable military force in the world bar none. So they can dominate Russia

and they can even dominate China. It's just not practical to do that because of the economic ties, all right? So like the, the fucking gas shortage in the fuel crisis and the energy crisis is all directly linked to the Russia thing. There's really absolutely

no benefit in like who gives a fuck about the Donbos region of Ukraine. Did you ever even think about that? Like anyone even know what that is? Would this be a little bit? The fact that we're like on the brink of nuclear war over this shit is fucking insane. Would this be a little bit like

if Waterford got independence in the 90s, all right? And then Ireland was like Mejowle Martin's like, we're taking back Waterford. And we're like, we're going to war. There's going to be a nuclear apocalypse over Waterford. Like, do anyone care? Yeah, yeah.

I'm pretty sure, like, nobody wants the war to continue. I'm not saying, I'm not on Putin's side. He is a fucking, he's a warlord. He looks good in the horse. He's a scumbag. He does. Yeah, I'll give him that. Like, you, like, also like,

you put me on a horse without a shirt and him. First of all, my horse can't get up off the ground. You know, look, he's, he's got me beat there but I'm not a fan of Putin he's a maniacal warlord probably a pedophile do you think

I steady on do you think that it's almost like you know that guy with the beard Frankie Boyle yes Gandhi whatever is it same person

yeah so you know that guy let's say like the war in Iraq or Iran you take out the leader there it gets worse yes I think it's a little bit like do you think it's gonna be

like with Putin there or if you take out Putin let's say Putin falls over in a shower tomorrow. Yeah. The guys who are under him are all so bad. Oh yeah, 100%. It's not like the guy's under him like, oh, like Bernie Sanders type, you know?

I mean, yeah, you have to be, like, if you can maintain in like fucking Vladimir Putin's cabinet and his like close net of people, you're probably a horrific piece of shit because, you know, only the strong survive my friend, you know? Money talks and bullshit walks. Hey,

a good dog is a hungry dog. That's right. Remember that? Yes. I say that to people sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say it's a bus driver. How did we get on this? This is all directly linked to James Corby. No, I like this, I feel like I'm learning more about this. So you'll be like, do a deal. I would just think... Take a little

bit of Ukraine. Yeah, I think there is absolutely... Because they have... They're putting it in a position where, like, they will not negotiate with Russia in the slightest. Remember Vietnam? Yeah. Remember what happened, Vietnam? They got out. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, I don't know. just it just doesn't seem

like whatever the outcome just does not seem like it's going to be good in any sense but they're like funding Ukraine give them all this money it's a proxy war that's why I heard

yeah yeah so they're pushing they're really just like putting Putin in a position where he's not gonna he's not gonna bend over and say I'm a bitch you got me I'm done he would literally I'd say that he would

oh I'd say he'd rather launch the nukes than that and they're not giving them any other fucking, I don't know I don't know, maybe I'm like going too crazy on it or whatever and I'm just really... It is, it is interesting. I was thinking about this in the bus a while ago. If Trump was president

right now, what do you think could be going on? Do you think it would have been a very quick kind of deal where like to do something? Yeah, because him and Putin were buddy, buddy, buddy, right? I wouldn't say buddy, buddy. Some of that does a little bit of like, I think democratic kind of

like you know the Russia gate thing was definitely overblown but I think Putin here both Chomsky

and Trump both said do a deal yeah so there again it just it to be flirting

with the idea of a nuclear war because of the Dunbas region in Ukraine that holds absolutely no like political influence

or economic influence or infrastructure structural influence, or anything. There's literally, I'm sorry, but it's the same as county fucking Monaghan. We're a shithole and we do nothing for nobody when nobody benefits from our existence. I'm sorry, Donbass region.

It's terrible that Putin is bombing you. He shouldn't be doing it. But the longer that fucking US poke him with a stick and refuse to negotiate and keep sending you military arms and money and whatever, it's going to get worse and worse and worse. Now, do you think? Putin's not innocent, but neither is the

fucking US. Do you think, though? There's been a little bit of an overcorrection because people are very afraid of Russian misinformation. Yes. So it's almost like that becomes a little bit of a get out of jail card if anyone is a little bit like anti-war. Yeah. It becomes like, well, you're just being, you know, same with saying like, oh, you're just appeasing a Nazis. You're just spreading Russian misinformation. You're probably getting loads of money from Putin.

You're probably getting free kebabs from Putin right now, aren't you? Russian kebabs. There is absolutely no validity to disclaim. Yeah, and I'm sorry, you want to talk about fucking neo-Nazis, the fucking Ukraine. Their whole army is neo-Nazzo. A lot of them, isn't there, yeah. A lot of, like, remember the Vice documentaries from five years ago? It's like, hey, what's up, bros?

We're hanging in the Ukraine with my neo-Nazi brothers. What's going on, fam? You guys. We make a cool mixtape. We listen to Jack Harlow's and Little Dickies. What is this Lil Nas Axis? We do not like. And also there's a thing there a while ago

where they did a report about war crimes and the other way using rape as like an act of war and all that. And obviously the Russians were doing it a bit more but there was some going on Ukraine and when I think Amnesty International reported this they got a lot of flak because they were like that's Russian misinformation right there. Yeah, yeah, yes. That's the thing when you sort of have to completely

dispel facts to support the narrative that is the textbook definition of propaganda and we shouldn't be supporting it on either side even if your side is doing shit you don't like they shouldn't be doing you should call it out I saw I saw two Russians blow each there what yeah they got some drone footage of this yeah two Russians blowing each other

in Ukraine yeah nice that's they're doing no you want that Ukraine do you whoa yeah imagine that's gonna be two Russians bust in his Lenzy's office start blowing each other all right sucking his dick. And Zelensky's like, no. No. I'm a comedian. Then Ben, you know, Ben Stiller was there.

In Ukraine. Yeah, Ben Stiller showed up. Doing Dodgeball too. Yeah, that's going to be fun. Yeah. That'll bring him all together now. Where's the rip-thorn? Fucking Chuck Doris. Anyway, I'm kind of feigning, like, interest and passion for the whole Ukraine war. I don't actually give a shit. It's just, you know, I'm just spouting all of shit that I've heard from other podcasts, but I can do sort of like, fat, angry, sweaty man

gets angry and shouts, and people kind of hear that and they go, oh, he's very passionate and articulate, intelligent, let's give him all our money and daughters vaginal. Vaginal. Vaginal. Give me the vaginal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want all the vaginals. Look, when you said we've only reached half an hour, I write, let me just get the old motorboat going. Well, do you want to talk with Tom Brady? I don't We will He's getting divorced there

Yeah I've heard that It's gone real sad now Giselle It's like last year He retired Yes He had happy wife Happy life

Happy life Happy kids And he had a great record You know A winning record Every year He was in TED 2

Yeah Which I went back And watch Patrick Waterburton Well I watched Ted 2 Ted 2 is actually fucking awesome

I always said that And I always called you a big shirtlifter for saying it wasn't. Look at those dance numbers. Tad, tad, tat, oh yeah.

I've got a Ted tree tattoo. The prophecy shall be fulfilled. Yeah, man. Yes. I cannot wait in my nursing home watching Ted 2 over and over again while my nurse beats me. That's going to be awesome. I do not like her the Ted 2 wait. I thought he was underneath it. Why did he get rid

of the Milakuni's character? That do not make sense to me. Oh yeah, she wasn't Ted 2. It was Amanda C. Oh, actually I hate Ted too now. Nah, it was good. She was smoking bombs. Sexy.

But so now, Tom Brady, he went back and he's bad now. He looks old. Yeah. How long was he retired for? About three months. Yeah, and then he's like, I'm coming back. And his wife was like,

if you go back to football, I will leave you. And he was like, shut up, bitch. Shut my dick. Hey, w a WTD. What would Ted do? So now he's doing badly

And he's getting publicly divorced right now And he has to lose every week now And he's getting angry He's yelling at people now I saw that video Yeah he was like screaming at his team Yeah it's getting He was so great

And now like And now I could see him Not retiring now For under like three years I was spite It's like when it's going to get worse And worse Jordan played baseball

Everyone's just like What are you doing man? Come on They need to leave There's a guy called Ben Rotsenberger And he stayed He won a super How's Kanye

feel about him? No, I don't know about him I think you raped you people Oh, okay Yeah, but like But he just stayed on For ages and ages

These guys like Because he got the ego Especially you win a Super Bowl Brady, you win seven He's like No, I can come back Yeah It's not like age

Makes you weaker over time Yeah Also everyone is like You are the greatest thing That has ever happened To the world Ever Hey maybe I am

Yeah And he's got all the money And it's like look, you're basically the bionic man now. We're shoving supplements up your ass 24-7. You haven't been in the same room as a slice of bread since 2004. You are the goat, Mr. Brady. I could see him getting like real weird near the end.

I think he's going to play for another few years. I think he's going to get like, you know, it's going to be weird stuff. He's going to like tattoos, okay? He's going to start walking around like Jack Harlow, you know? He's going to have a full midlife crisis. Yeah. Who's that guy who was like, right? running around with a shirt off and ran off the field.

Antonio Brown, yeah, yeah, he's going to brown out. I think, is that cool? That's the term for blackface. Hey, what's going on? I'm going to brown out. He's Boston, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those rumors, though, at one stage, the reason he didn't retire,

the reason he announced the retirement was a power move. Because what he wanted was to get out of Tampa Bay, where he's playing now. He wanted to own. the Miami Dolphins and be the CEO of the company and also be the player the quarterback for them at the same time.

Yeah, that's not a good idea. That's mental right there. That's like, why wouldn't you? You've done everything. You've won seven Super Bowls. Yeah, he's probably, look, he's got like the sort of Messiah complex coupled with a little bit of CT. I know he's a quarterback so he didn't get hit much.

He still got hit a bit, like, you know. Oh, yeah. And he's had a long fucking career, so. Yeah, so how much do they reckon Giselle's going to get. Well, she makes more than him. Does she? Yeah.

With her saggy teddy! She's always made more than him. She's a model. Yeah, lingerie. And also, he would never get the biggest cut of the money. Well, really? Yeah, for a lot of years,

he takes smaller checks so they can get better players. That's nice of them. That's what he would do right there whilst he wants to win, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of players in, like, NBA and NFL,

they take the big checks, okay? And then, like, they have, like, a janitor playing with them, you know? It's like a janitor won the Mighty Ducks. Averman from the Mighty Ducks Bet you don't even know who that is He was the wise cracking Jew kid

I assume I like him He had glasses and a fro And he was always saying funny things Oh you know what's depressing actually Everything I watch them Every time I open my eyes And walk around this shit hole of a world

This poisonous venomous death trap What's depressing Brian I watch them movie called Out of the Blue right there. Okay. Very depressing movie. It's about the second worst mass shooting in New Zealand. Okay. It was the worst than

you know the Christ Church thing came along? Oh yes. Yeah, I forgot he live streamed that as well. He did live stream it. You were watched that? What's very funny is I was working, well, not very funny, but I was... Use your words, Kate. We're not on Patreon, James. No, it was hilarious. No, I was working in a centra in Sandiford at the time

and my manager, he was this like kind of he was like muslim but like he was like very sort of like you could tell he had read like you know how to make friends and influence people he read the game yeah he was very like man you got to just look look at the shelf you walk by the shelf you see anything missing you got to observe your surroundings and think how can i make this better how can i be better i was like chill out mate we're in a center let's you know let's pump the brakes but anyway he was like somebody had sent him videos of it and he was like could you fucking believe this and we were like in the store room and he's watching these videos and then he was like if i ever got my hands on that fucking piece of shit i'd fucking kill him and he started getting really upset and like kind of like crying and i was like oh i'm going to go restock the drink shelf mr flaggle flam no or whatever i don't know i can't remember what his name was but uh it was very uncomfortable but in answer to your question yes i have seen the videos uh so i haven't yeah so out of the blue is um is a

about the second worst shooting in the 90s all right yeah it's about this guy

David Gray and this guy I think you could relate to it David Gray who wrote this year's love

had barely it was yeah it's the same guy he had to come back Babylon the song

was so good even people in New Zealand were like hey let's come some slack here so it's

a very naturalistic movie okay it's very like day in the life

there's no like um well i like to know like kind of like like um you know expository dialogue of like oh there's david grey the weird drifter who lives in town he's very strange hope he don't shoot up nobody yeah you know they just kind of figure out over time that he's weird so it's about a kind of a very small kind of monaghan it's like new zeal monaghan oh jesus yeah so very very small is guard the course welcome to monaheim there's literally like two cops that have like run that look after the whole area yeah one the cops is played by a very very young Carl Urban

Carl Urban You can't From the boys Yeah Have to say now Oh I can't How's your bat It gets your can't

I mean you can't I forgot A little gratuitous Mr Urban I liked in this movie Okay He's actually playing a regular character

And he's actually acting in it Yes I forgot I was like This guy's actually pretty good Yeah Yeah yeah I haven't seen him a long time Anything like that

There isn't like Star Trek Or like Lord of Rings Or anything you know Yeah Yeah yeah So um Playing a human Exactly

So David Gray is this drifter. He lives in a shed behind someone's house alright he's renting it there okay and he's like

you know he likes guns being on his own maybe 30s sounds like a cool guy yeah okay yeah yeah and he goes to the bank

one day and the bank are like oh you know something very very small inconvenience you know

they're like oh can you give the pen back he's like well I want the pen I'm sick of the society taking everything probably

oh show you yeah and what's funny is he leaves the bank he doesn't show up the bank, by the way. He goes to the nearest library. Check this.

So he goes back to his kind of like weird little village they lives in. The village, it's very like the houses are very old school houses, a lot of like tents and like canopy, stuff like that, you know? Right, okay. Because it must be very summer.

It's a summer, probably, yeah. A lot of barbecues going on. So he goes there, gets a gun. He has a few guns. He just immediately starts shooting like innocent women, old people and children. Just literally outside his shed? No, walking around the village.

shooting people, okay. So he starts off, he shoots like this, the first guy, there's like a family barbecue, shoots them, the children all run under the table. He goes and shoots the children. There's one kid running

with like blood pouring out. Yeah, I was going to ask how kind of graphic or violent is it? It's very graphic and very exact. Oh, that's the way you get. Very real. Very real, yeah.

So you actually see little girls being like, you know like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bleeding out and very sick. Do you feel powerful? No, I don't actually know. Oh, okay.

I felt mildly. sad of it the whole thing. Mildly yeah. Sorry, I thought we could have a bit of fun with it there, Brian. My fault. My fault. Very silly of me to assume such a thing. On a comedy podcast I thought we were going to, oh, I bet you liked it. No, I didn't,

James. It's a young girl being murdered violently by a deranged sociopath. What's enjoyable about that? You sick buffoon. There's one bit I think you like now where these two old people get shot, alright? Yeah, I'm loving it already. And the old man's like, Vera,

right out of that she's Oh, I'll be back, all right? And she has to crawl in the mud Right to her house And she's like the worm she is. Yeah, and then she has to call the police And she's all sad Because her husband died

Yeah, now how many people did he kill? 13 and wounded a lot more right there, yeah What kind of guns did he use? I'm not a big gun guy, I wouldn't know Was it a handgun or a rifle? You know those kind of cool ones That people shouldn't really have, you know? The ones are like

Oh, like Oh, like automatic weapons? Yeah, automatic things. that right there yeah okay uh so and he was shooting people and then the cops to come in and they got him eventually but like they kind of weren't really prepared to handle this kind of situation yeah sure so let's say if i've happened in america they probably have some swat team just like come in and drone strike him like straight away yes uh but uh this day had to like uh couldn't find him because it was like he was hiding out and stuff yeah yeah took a few hostages and that

he put on a fake mustache he managed to evade the apb evening all he tops his hat to them Yeah, yeah So a very real movie Okay Very tragic I felt bad for the old lady Crawled in the mud You know

Yeah, did you? I did yeah A little bit yeah I look at you A little bit like I don't like what it's done When a movie's done Because you're used to

Watching movies Where it's like Very bad And gratuitous And they're really milking it So you kind of feel good Like making fun Of the victims

You know I'm a bit like Charlie Brooker Aren't I I'm commenting on media Yeah Yeah We're saying

That old lady probably a bint. You're probably a Tory, aren't you, you bint? Just watching a documentary about the Columbine shooting. Ah, yeah, you probably voted for Farage. Yeah, bloody.

Toss pot. Look at all those kids. Probably Brexit mean Brexit kids over there, yeah? But it made me feel something. I did feel bad for little kiddies getting shot. If I really don't want to make a movie about Christchurch and people are very against it. cancelled it. Oh shit. They've done a few. So like there's that movie

Nitram, which is Martin, the word. What's nit ram? What are you talking about? Yeah, my fucks don't know nitram! I thought I was hanging with the nitrams up in who? Yes. Yes, please continue. Nittrams, so that's Martin backwards and it's about that guy Martin, what's his name, who carried out the Port Arthur massacre in Australia. And it's Caleb Landry Jones. who plays him

what's his name Martin something I can't remember I'm blanking there let me look up real quick now it rings the bell but like

he had a very weird life he was sort of like he was like obviously you know he was yes yes I could get him now

yeah what's his name Martin Martin Bryant Bryant yeah so he like had emotional problems

and you know was mentally ill he's the guy from get out by the way in case people yes the white guy

the weird white guy the brother the bad white guy get out. So he started in real life started shacking up with this old crazy cat lady

who was also like a millionaire and they were banging and then she died and then he went out and carried out this massacre which was like it was a very it was a lot he got it was a high body count and they arrested him I'm pretty sure he's still in jail

so there's that one. Also people do say it's a little bit weird not to get conspiracy security but the thing they say is the fact that he was a weirdly good shot. Yes, yeah, yeah. Like, he didn't miss, you know. And he was hitting a street. There's a lot of that.

Two right in the head, you know, right in the brain, no missing right there. Yeah, a lot of people said that about the Stephen Paddock one as all. Do you remember that? The Vegas. Oh, yeah. Andale Bay.

It's like, there were like multiple reports. But whatever, blah, blah. It doesn't matter. Hey, who gives us shit? Yeah, I don't know about that shit right there. Just watch Doctor Who. Hey, ain't gonna change the way mustard taste, buddy, I dare you that.

I think this was a very intellectual episode Yeah, yeah We're talking about some good stuff there Doesn't have to be funny all the time That's why you're here Oh yeah Oh, bro, brough, brough, brough, brough I got facked

Yeah, you just go fucked Proper fucked No, I think we did We went, we did some politics And human behavior And you know What else? I haven't done Brian's theories

In a while No, you haven't I'll take it some good theories, yeah Do you think Keenan got Chris Red beat up? Yes, that's a theory right there. I'll tell you what, Tales from the Bus, actually. I was feeling a bit sad about this. So my phone died on the bus there,

so I had to listen to people's conversations, you know? So I had to list to people's conversation. I had to, like, put my ear right up against their faces, you know? Come on, Anunciate, love. Actually, no, before that... It's a long trip to Glasnevin. You know, it's weird, actually. So it's kind of hard to describe, so I'm sitting on the seat on the bus, all right?

Yeah. And picture this. right, I'm sitting on the bus. You know, you described it perfectly. I can picture it, Brian. My phone's dead. You paint a picture. I was kind of slouching a bit too much.

You ever sit down wrong, kind of slouching? I was like, it's going to be uncomfortable. So I went to move up to get more comfortable. But there was this young one getting on to the bus and walking front of me. So I kind of jolted like that. And the girl got scared and went, oh, and dropped her leap card. Oh, what? Yeah.

So you spooked this beautiful angel? I did. A beautiful goddess who was essentially. the staircase and you kind of grabbed out her titty so you just said I didn't help myself and Steve I just moved slightly

and she said oh god kill it kill it the fire it's a vile monolide let out of his cage help me please yeah yeah I'm going to go David Gray on you

I'm gonna go knit ram on your pussy but she was sitting there with another friend of hers okay yeah I was feeling bit sad she's talking about her boyfriend they're both talking about their boyfriends like that

and she was like talking about I don't think nine inches is too big I like it it's a perfect size and you're like going super second yeah yeah

no but she was saying how like her boyfriend makes her watch football like watch him play football oh wow so he plays football and she has to watch him even in the race

just when he's practicing out in the grass yeah they keep yuppies running between the Colons and he's doing it wrong David please there was a weather warning issued shuts you up love yeah I was feeling a bit sad

because you know like she's talking about this it's like oh it's pretty funny isn't it's like oh you know you know when you're young you know you get big cocking like I guess I have to sit on the rain now yeah that's how it works yeah yeah yeah no picture as well like you know oh actually

it's funny um we had a guy doing a tour recently and we have a little part of a tour where it's like a nice kind of cool part, all right? Don't say the name, by the way. I'm trying to keep it on the DL, okay? So there's a kind of cool part of tour, and this guy was like, okay, filmed this. He made his girlfriend

film it, like him walking around a part of the area of the tour, right? And then he was like, no, you're doing it wrong. Landscape, landscape like that. And she was like, okay, yeah, cool. He berated her in public. It was very uncomfortable. Yes. Because I'm in the middle of this.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, she did it very well, I think, shut up. I mean, aspect ratio is a relative, you know, it depends on what you like, you know? Yeah. It is a bit sad seeing stuff like that. I would treat you like an

angel. I would treat you like a queen and a goddess. I would make you watch me play football because I'm not very good at playing football. I'd make you watch me sit on the bed and feel sad for myself. I'd make you sit down and watch me watch Doctor Who. I kind of got all retarded.

I would sit there to make me watch you, watch the face. of the... I would sit on your face while I watch Doctor Who. I would sit on your face while I watch your mother

or try to get the ropes off her. We're getting very silly now. It's got to fall in the part. We've hit the hour there. Anything you want to say before we head down or...

No, no, I think we got some... Do you want some Chinese food? Yeah, okay. I'll get your Chinese food. Did I earn it, yeah? Well, I'm getting paid tonight, so... Okay, I'll take it. It's all your Chinese food or a prostitute.

I can't get two again I'm not healthy I want to eat a dumpling out of her snatch like oh quite the delicacy do you have to deal that dog do the voice I'm paying you

do the voice oh yes a misogado do it's alone yeah I'll get some Chinese yeah yeah something cheap though

yes cheap and greasy now we're talking about the food of the prosy oh Bye.