Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 178 : And Another Breakdown

Episode Date: December 3, 2022

A real bad one here where Brian gets in a bad mood and James has to save the day.

James Yes Free one Right Is there anything you want to talk about Because I got a lot stuff to talk about

You got a lot of talk about All right Okay real quick Ah I feel very sad I don't know what it all means Maybe I need some help All right

Gay shit out of the way Let's get to the rock and roll strong Let's go to the World Cup That's what's all about Man yeah All right No sadness there

Yeah Yeah I showed you I showed you The opening ceremony Of the World Cup Did you? Did you?

Did you know Morgan Freeman? Oh yeah That was weird That was confusing It didn't look fun Did it It looked a bit ghostly.

Yeah. Because it was all kind of muted colors. Yes, and all demonic presences and sort of, you know, kind of like if you ever had sleep paralysis and there's a demon in the corner. Yeah, and Morgan Freeman's in the corner. What's the matter, James? You think you're awake, but you're asleep? Well, it was strange because it was him talking.

I think Morgan Freeman had pre-recorded it. So it wasn't exactly synced up. He was wearing a weird glove. That's like an old man compression glove. Is it? You told me that. No, I didn't say that. I asked, is that like one of those?

Oh, so you asked me, and I just assumed as a fact. All right, okay. That's good, yeah. Did the Holocaust happen, Brian? Yeah, Captain says, does it? What? No, that's... That's why they're all wearing weird gloves.

Yeah, he had, like, one glove on, like, Michael Jackson, but he was in a car crash a few years ago, so it might be one of those, like, compression gloves for, like, nerve pain. I don't even know if that's a thing. That might be something that I completely made up in my head. It sounded right. It doesn't exist at all. It sounded right to me.

Then he touched like an orphan girl's face. No, that was not an orphan girl. That was like a half boy kind of like. Oh. That was like a descent, not mentally, genetically disabled. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was.

He was. He was chopped in twain. Yeah. He was in twain. She's not a twain. That don't impress me much. So you've got legs, but do you got the touch? Don't get me wrong

I think you're all right So yeah He had really long arms I think this is like Qatar's idea of like Look you're giving a shit About the whole gaze And the workers

Falling off things And you're all the corpses lying Here's one that lived I wishes he didn't He barely lived Yeah yeah yeah Holy fuck So the World Cup

That was the opening I mean here's the question Does he get a bus pass Even though he does no pockets To put it into Doesn't make sense He could put it in his jacket pocket you idiot, you ableist?

Yeah, who's the real abelist? Yeah, who's the real disabledist? Let me tell you that right now. Anyway, yeah, so... So, I've been watching the World Cup. It's been fun, you know. It's fun to watch the World Cup in a pub on your own.

Yeah. That's fun, in it? I keep texting people like, you want to come out? They say they will. Don't show up. You know, it's sad as well. The pub was full when you got there,

and then as soon as you sat down with a fresh pint, everyone's like, ah. Everyone was like, oh, I'm actually quite tired I'm like, go home and beat my wife. I actually don't like the World Cup, I'm going to go home now. I'm like, goodbye, guys, you're coming back, right? You took a second mortgage out in your house, you've got a lot riding in this game. Ah, yeah, but Tuller's a bit of a buzz killed, so I might just go home.

Yeah, yeah. It's been pretty sad, watching it on my own. It doesn't really seem like anybody gives you shit about the World Cup. Oh, man, no, you're wrong there. Maybe I are. Remember those Brazilians were cheering? Yes, you're really. right yeah so brazil one

there and sexy brazilians were walking around Temple Bar with Vuvu Zales Voooo Zales and we were like come to our comedy show and they just blew it in our face and laughed laughed at us I didn't like that either I'm honest it's been fun supposedly

Yeah yeah well I've been watching other movies as well okay I watch a movie called Armageddon time right what is this Armageddon time it's all you're talking about now Armageddon Tire to hearing about it, huh? Oh, hello!

Bada, beh-da-peer! It's very disrespectful to the movie. It's directed by James Gray for Christ's sake, all right? Everyone loves James Gray. Yeah. He directed Ad Astra and the Lost City of Z. No. I've heard of Ad Astra.

Is that Brad Pitt? Space movie. Space man. That was a box office bomb. Yeah. And this movie was also a box office bottom. So he's probably going to get killed soon. Yeah, good. They're going to chop his legs off. off and make them be in the opening ceremony in 2028.

Yeah, yeah, you got right. Is that right? Every four years, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, that's six years. Fuck! I don't know, I can't count. Whatever, who cares? Look.

To Armageddon Time, what is it? It stars Anthony Hopkins, Jeremy Strong, and Hadaway. Wow. Yeah, not exactly the biggest box office draws. And Herc from the wire. Oh, okay. Yeah. I stand corrected.

Dominic Lombardi. all the teens I love that shit man you're creaming over Lombardi Oh my God it's Lombardi Yeah So it's about this kid in the 80s

Right He's like sad Oh And uh He's just sad And he goes at school And he meets a black kid Right

He becomes friends With the black kids All right Okay okay But then the black kids Get him weed And he smokes the weeds And he gets all dizzy

And then the teacher Catches him Right and beats the hell out of it. Really? Yeah. In the 80s? Yeah.

In America? Yeah. What state? I don't know why. I just don't think teachers were beating up kids in the 80s. This is a rough school. Okay. This is the rough school, okay?

Right. So his teacher... I mean, I got slapped in school, but, you know, that was Monaghan in the 90s. He was basically the 50s, you know? Even in the naughtys, it was the 50s. Yeah, man. Everyone was very naughty. Yeah, yeah.

So then his dad beats him up. Jeremy Strong beats him up. And they're all Jewish, by the way. Okay, right. So, Jeremy... Wait, wait. Yeah, so he's a Jewish kid that makes friends with a black kid and his dad beats him something fierce. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. He's trying to do, like, a Jewish kind of dad kind of thing. He's not doing a great job, I'll be honest. Right. It feels like, it feels like he's acting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, tea and crumpets And then

I ate his liver With some Gophilca fig And a nice Kianti And then they go I send them to a proper school Right And the proper school is funded

by Fred Trump Okay The father of Donald Trump's dad So then Fred Trump gives a speech Right About how you don't need handouts Okay And then Jessica Tastain shows up

The cameo as Christine Trump I think Big Tiddies? No Oh I think they're giving her a compressor Oh well then Now I see why this was a box office bomb

You know those compression gloves They had them on her tits You know Morgan Freeman's like Let me give you a hand Yeah So then like This isn't sound like a good movie

Oh no You'll change your tune in the minute Alright So then you're already selling it Come on Because then he feels sad again Alright Because he's away from his friends

Yeah But then he meets the black kid again And they try and rob to school Okay But then they get caught And it didn't rob the school What do they steal the church? They try to steal the computers.

Oh, okay. They want to take one computer itself so they can move to Hawaii. Right. They haven't really taught this out. No. So then they get caught by the police and Herc's the police officer,

Hirk from the wire. Yeah. And he's like, oh, which one I'm going to arrest now? The black kid or a white kid? Hmm. And so he arrests the black kid. Yeah. And a white kid feels sad

and then his grandfather dies. The end. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Shit, film. Yeah. To be honest, your retelling of it didn't really... It was not happened, by way.

I was also fucking a car chase I didn't miss out Armageddon time Why is it even called that? I don't know It was not good at all I think it was the 80s And like maybe

Nuclear War maybe Or something Oh it's Cold War That wasn't the 80s at all I don't know why it was called It was not good It didn't strike my fancy now No and I'm glad you decided to talk about it

Yeah Here was your film Not much happened I didn't like it Well I watched this So I have to tell you You know What I'm supposed to keep it

Keep it inside That's like a cancer, by the way. Yeah, movie trivia and gay thoughts. That's what gives you cancer. Yeah, okay. Come on. I also watched... What happened to that energy bar you were going to get?

You're right. I'll drink some coffee, yeah. Hurry up. It was a chocolate bar. I got confused. Oh, you disgusting little pig. Little Pig, he had his chocolate. I ate too much chocolate, yeah.

It was a lot of chocolate. It was cookie dough. Cookie dough. What? What is happening to you? You ate cooking chocolate. It wasn't even for normal consumption. I couldn't help myself.

I did watch Midnight Express. Never seen it. That's about the guy he gets caught. Is it trying to smuggle hashish? Yeah, it's Billy. In Turkey. Now, is hashish the same as hash? Yes, it is.

Just the kind of fancier way you're saying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of like la hashish. So, yeah, hash is like the brown sort of, it's like when the oil of. it's like oil resin from weed gets concentrated and back in the day

you couldn't you never used to be able to get weed in Ireland it was almost hash yeah I was so you would sell hash back in the day yeah man hash is now it's all coke it is it's all it's all it's all it's you literally can't buy hash anymore no yeah can I some hash please no I hear some crack cocaine

yeah I try by one joint there it shoved the crack pipe up my ass it's like okay mister it's this studio 54 yeah Hash is a lot more mellow. I like hash. There's a nice smell to it as well.

I haven't smoked that much hash. Have you? I smoke more weed than hash. Yeah, yeah. I smoked some weed recently. I felt a bit dizzy afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't agree with you, does I?

Well, no, it's just doesn't... Doesn't think of anything agrees with you, Brian. Chocolate, hash, weed, gender politics at all. Women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I was smoking with a friend of mine. We're walking down to the bus stop. And, like, he's a smoker, you know?

So, I was taking big puffs with him. Blemning a Zoot in public fam? Oh, I was, yeah. Man's is mental. I've stopped caring, buddy. Whoa, holy shit, dude. But then I felt very like, Oh, no, I'm in trouble.

Oh, no. The fabric of society is crumbling. I'd better call the guards and turn myself here. Like Donnie Brasco, I can become a rat. Now, yeah, the guy who gave you the way, is he a friend of yours or a friend of ours? He's a friend of mine.

You haven't met him yet, but you could meet him if you want. Oh. Would you like to meet him? No, no, no. Oh, he's getting you all. Yeah, you, I'll send him my way. I'll give him a good talking to him.

It's like, you leave Brian alone. He's a sweet impressionable boy. He doesn't need to listen to your jazz records and smoke the devil's lettuce. You sit down in the chair the wrong way. You really impress them, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You slap him around a bit. Yeah, yeah.

The whole chair goes up my ass. Oh, I did it wrong. Help. Okay, so, yeah, Midnard Express. I like that. I'll tell you, well, let's see what else I can talk about, all right? I haven't gone into the zone yet, but we'll get into it in a second. No, we haven't. Neither have I.

It's rubbing off on me. Yeah, I can't bring down the whole energy, don't I? That's why it's fun to be in a relationship with me now because I get in my moods. So I think, okay, some girls like it when they're with a moody guy, but he brings the mood out. So he's like, oh, fuck this shit, he's like punching the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Girls like that. They don't like it when I get moody, because I just, like, it's very quiet. Yeah, yeah, cool. Oh, good, yeah No, I didn't want to watch Doctor Who anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, what's this, the new season of Below Deck? Oh, yeah, great, yeah, can't wait, yeah.

Great anatomy, yeah, it's gonna be good, isn't it? Are you watched that one to be in my room for a while? Yeah, great. I'm gonna get real silent and distant, yeah, you like that, don't you? Yeah, you know what I like about your moods is when you get in a mood and then I'm like, oh, what's wrong?

Then you say, oh, Catton's in one of his moods again. you had never happened that never happened at all this is what your moods right now you're doing reverse you're in chess on me we're trying to out mood each other man

you're 40 mentally old chess on me right now it's the mood wars right now yeah yeah yeah look we're both spas next week and admit that not me fuck off you're gonna drag me down I was joking by the way

I'm never been moody in my life no yeah yeah yeah gay yeah yeah yeah last week you're putting a cake in a bottle bag

but no you're an emotionally healthy guy. I'm so emotionally healthy. Sometimes I go to a therapist, alright? Yeah. I'm like, oh, I got problems. Like, really? I'm like, no. Sike. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, do a boreat impression. I need to talk to about my wife. And then

you give him 400 quid. Yeah. You got him. And I'm moonwalk out with there, you know? Later point, Dexter. Yeah. Yeah, no, fuck that, man. You're mentally ill, you fuck off. I'm the most mentally not ill person you've ever met in your life, man. Yeah.

are called again when you're a mentally not ill person? I don't know. You never need to know. That's the thing. Yeah. I watched Fraser once. So, yeah. Okay. I'm good now. Yeah, I'm good. So I watched lots of movies. Yeah. I told you mean, watching movies non-stop. Yeah, yeah. But you're retelling

of them. I mean, we've already, you've went through two movies. We're not, we're 15 minutes in. Yeah, I got more. What else you got? I watch Starfuckers. Okay, Starfuckers. What's that? This, okay, it was really bad. Okay. It's a movie original. Yeah.

So, Mooby, it's like, a straight. service and they're trying to do original movies now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is like all artsy and stuff. So it starts off, it's real promising. It's this guy like this older Hollywood producer and he's got like this young lad, maybe like 20 years

old, right? And he's like grooming him and I'm like, yeah, I'm into this, all right? As in sexually? Sexually, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's bringing them over, you know, and they're kissing and all that, you know? Yeah, yeah, you know, you're like, go with me, okay, now, okay? This is better in therapy, all right? That's right, this is my

therapy yeah touch him again yeah but then the older guy's like oh my soup feels weird oh i'm dizzy and passes out right turns out he's been drugged okay all right and these two fellas these young twinks these two fellers have drugged them what yeah and now he wakes up tied to a chair and then the twinks start dancing oh for 12 minutes it's a short film is it yeah oh okay so let's say it's 15 minutes long yeah it's 12 minutes of dancing like expressive dance expressive dancing yeah yeah they're gonna dance out their pain they're gonna dance how you get back at your attacker yeah the attacker's like okay yeah this is cool and you're not pressing charges oh no oh you sure got me oh gee whiz yeah yeah yeah we're gonna do our addition

of stomp yeah yeah yeah okay so they dance away to rape all right at the end is that it that's it they don't do anything too they don't do i thought they want to eat them or something yeah yeah or slap them around or even just like be mean to him, you know, it's like you're fat or something, you know. Okay. The guy was bald, the producer was bold. These are all unknowns, I assume.

All unknowns, okay? So I looked up, what the fuck is this? Who is Starfuckers? What is this? Yeah. Turns out it's a, it was directed, written and starring this one cunt. Okay.

This young lad, all right? Is he the actor? He's the actor, yeah. Of course. So it's all just a big vanity piece. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, I can dance. Okay.

Oh, wow. I'll do the dancing. We'll do a story around that. What's popular now? Rape. Alright, yeah, we'll figure that into that. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was like, this is terrible.

And you're supposed to tell me that Harvey Weinstein was wrong. With these people, this is what happens with the producers aren't doing the good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look. We aren't laying down the law. You get pub fiction with Harvey Weinstein. With these guys, you get 12 minutes of dancing.

Take your pick, you know? Yeah, exactly. See, when you were describing it there, what came to my mind, you ever hear of a movie called Swimming with Sharks? No. Low-budget movie. And ironically, it's Kevin Spacey is a movie. producer and his assistant

but there's no like sexual rape element to it it's just that Kevin Spacey is very verbally abusive and manipulative and all that stuff so his assistant snaps and ties him to a chair and starts torturing him and stuff it's like a real kind of low budget indie movie

from the 90s but it's enjoyable but because you got the like it's Kevin Spacey and what the fuck's that dude Frank Whaley Wiley? Wiley Yeah I don't know familiar if I know his face He's like a character actor

The name does strike a little bit of a bell But anyway It's pretty good movie I liked it Yeah I know I really want to see It's free on YouTube

So that's I mean It wasn't that successful You know Okay right I'll watch it then you know You don't make a hundred million I don't watch it You couldn't handle it bro

And we're back All right guys The bad boys are back Yeah And James are being Pretty bad now You know Bad Boys for Life

Bad Boys for Life Who's Martin Lawrence I'm Martin Lawrence I'm running around I'm in my underwear I've got her guns, screaming, they're trying to kill me! Let's be honest, I am Will Smith.

You are. Because if I ever get a wife, there's no way she's going to be faithful to me. No, no. There's no way she'd ever... And no woman would ever not cheat on me. Let's be honest, okay? In your experience, every woman you've ever looked at.

Yeah, has cheated on me, you know? And broken your heart. Exactly. Every woman... Sometimes on the bus I'll see a woman, they'll be like, you're the one. And she's like, who are you? Like, you've betrayed me.

You are. I did you do this, too? you know what we're going to have kids together now those kids are basically dead yeah because i killed them i killed our kids or somebody's kids anyway all i know is my bathtub is starting to smell yeah we're so bad me and james have been sharing a cat of monster together what flavor is it's butterfly flavored it's very fruity monarch yeah i i walked in like get me the gayest can you have Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, he had this ready for me.

And then he gave you a can with a picture of your face on it. Oh! Yeah, and I was like, why you have this here? Does this even sell well? But anyway, look, we got some fun things talk about. We're going to do relationship questions a minute. Okay. I just remember as well, we never talked with the Walmart shooting.

Oh, shit. We're talking about the Club Q shooting, okay? Yeah, in Colorado. Yeah, and there was another Walmart shooting as well. Yes. Now, there have been two shootings that the media were. reports on. You know it is actually

loads of shootings that just aren't sexy they just picked these ones well if they got the Walmart one it was a manager yeah he was only like

31 but they found like a like a death note manifesto written on his phone and he said like he's you know on his phone yeah yeah yeah

it's pretty lame it is pretty lame right at least print it out you know yeah he didn't he didn't publish it back in the day people do you know the whole thing

where it's like bits of newspaper all stuck together like a riddler that took a bit of effort you know just typing on your phone like well everyone's just lazier now even like you know artists

artists are lazy as well like you know like us no we're not artists we're craft we're fucking craftsmen yeah there's a big difference an artist is a piece of shit yeah a fucking cunt all right you know I tell you what we're our craftsmen we do a craft right every day

we clock in we put the hours in yes we're sweaty we end the day and we're like fuck it we we accomplish something and we do not get paid well Or at all, really. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we don't complain, do we? We're migrant workers, pretty much.

Exactly. We're whistling and we're happy, and Gary Neville interviews us, and we're having a good time, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But these guys, these artists are right, rich parents, they don't give a fuck. But here's the fun thing, though.

In 10 years' time, there will be AI art that takes over. Right, okay. So have you seen any AI art? Not really. I mean, I know of it, but I'm really. There's some great AI engines where you could put in, let's say,

Mickey Mouse Let's say Mickey Mouse Puking all over Minimouse And it will generate that for you Yes Now here's the thing

I do look at that all the time The way Mickey pukes in that whore Oh yeah Now are you like art The whole thing about art Going to an art gallery And looking at a painting And you know

You get certain A certain emotional response Or you people like You know Art critics they're like look how the brush stroke emulates the pain the artist would say like see i i will i never been able to do that i can't look at you know why that is james because you're not gullible that's why you're too smart okay you walk around like sherlock holmes you know you see the truth

yes yes you see the the blueprints the design of life yeah whereas other people walk around the fog and like oh that's a pretty picture dude you're too smart remember that james yeah okay whenever they try and criticize it you're too smart yeah yeah yeah Whenever the police come knocking, like, oh, can you look at your hard drive? Like, no, I'm too smart. Yeah. Look, I'm highly intelligent and you're highly educated, pal. You're indoctrinated.

You're just drinking the Kool-Aid. But I'm out here with the real people in a skip, telling them the truth. Yeah, now, so like, the whole thing about AI art, I imagine people would be like, but it's not, there's no humanity in it and you can't, you know, tell what the artist was thinking or feeling because it's just an algorithm and it completely de-legitimizes the art movement. No, wrong.

Well, this is what they're saying. Yeah, well, they're wrong, aren't they? Well, I don't know, are they? Well, the same with the guy who was, like, working on blockbusters. Like, oh, no, streaming's bad. No, people want VHS copies of Golden Eye. They want Golden Eye on VHS. They don't want Netflix.

They don't want Amazon Prime. That's bad. They want Golden Eye on VHS. and they didn't rewind it when they returned it. It's not really the same thing, though, is it is. These artists are VHS, not even Blu-ray. They're beta-max, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Beta-Mail, beta-max, that's all they are. I went to an art show there, a different art show. Yeah. So I went to one, okay, and work. Yeah. I went to a different one. It was near the Hapenny Bridge Inn. Right.

And I left that for two minutes. You only walk into somewhere like, I don't belong here. Yes. It's kind of like, I imagine. The Hapenny Bridge Inn, usually. It was like the same vibe If I walked, let's say there's a family Having dinner

Or I walk him like Where's the party yet? They're like, what are you doing? You got a skateboard and a surfboard I'm ready to party Woo! It was like they're all having like wine and cheese I'm looking at these pictures

It was open to the public Right, not really Not really Open to the public with an asterisk You were the wrong kind of public In the same way you don't have those hip hop clubs where it's like open for everyone they don't like if I walk in

I don't know I walk in like gee whiz oh boy do you guys play the bass city rollers yeah yeah sweet Caroline shang

come on Jamalang come on Jamalang everybody anyway so my point is the Walmart guy was lazy yes tell me more about this guy no okay so

he was in the break room right the story is that he started laughing and then he started just shooting so he killed like five or five or six people but the people that were there right like the survivors of the

shooting said it seemed to be like he was he wasn't just shooting at random he had picked people that he wanted to kill well you do that yeah but like you know so premeditated everyone does that everyone does that you know when you walk into any kind of room at all like who would kill first

who would kill first yeah and so Like, in his phone, like, they've only released little excerpts of the death note or manifest or whatever you want to call it. And he was talking about how, like, you know, he's been betrayed by God and being guided by the devil. Pussy. And there's a demonic presence. And there's people in work that he hates and he's going to kill them. And he laments the fact that no woman would ever touch his cock and all that stuff, you know. Well, I can relate to that at least.

I didn't get with the whole demon angel thing, though. Yeah, whore's not putting out Tell me more, brother Well, I was reading It was a black guy too Oh, was it really? Yeah, interesting You don't get that a lot

No It's usually the honkies That are doing the mass shooting That's white culture though Rubbing off on the black guy though So it's cultural appropriation What he was doing Yeah, yeah, yeah

This is revenge for Michael Rappaport, you know Well, in fairness I guess we haven't coming then Yeah, I can't really argue with that Well, I was reading the thing interesting We know like all these edge lord guys Yeah, yeah Oh, yeah.

Yeah, these guys. I've heard off them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These freaks are, yeah, yeah, yeah. Their mentality is, this is what some Frazier-type guy was saying, okay? Their mentality is these people out there that have just decided, okay, I repulse everyone. Right. No one will not be repulsed by me.

Yes. So I might as well become repulsive. Yes. So it's like, if I walk into a room and I'm like, hey, everyone, it's me, they're like, fuck off. There's no excuse for that, right? But if you walk in the room, like, oh, cunt, cunt, cunt, yeah,

Trump 2020, cunt, yeah, and people don't like you, it's like, yeah, it couldn't handle me. Yeah, yeah, I was too much of a broodagh giving them the truth. Yeah, you couldn't handle me in my worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't deserve me at my best.

Yeah, exactly. So if you walk you're like, women are all hoars. Yeah. And they can't, they're not grooving on that, you know? It's their fault. Hey, sweetie. Why don't you suck my cock? Oh!

What's the matter, honey? You confused? If these dumb whores don't get your Andrew Dice Clay impression, then they don't deserve it. It's their loss. So that's why there's more and more guys now who almost like, it's weird, there's guys who like at the age of seven are it's like, yeah, everyone hates me. Yeah. Might as well just give up, you know? Yeah.

I mean, I know, yeah, I mean, how was your, what were you like when you were seven? were you... I just kept my head down. Were you the king of the world? No, when I was seven, I already decided it was kind of like, you know when you go to prison? You keep your head down

to us to get raped. Yeah. That was my life, basically. I was the ghost. Head down, ass off and just take us. Arians didn't want me. Yeah. I was too white.

That's what they said right there. I was trying to be Hispanic for a while, but that didn't work either for a number of reasons. Yeah. So like, yeah, I just kept my head down, kept real silent. And I was just like, just get true way. And it's funny, because, like, you know, when you're, when you're growing up, you know, you're like, okay, primary school's bad, but second school will be good.

Yeah. That's don't be happy. Then you're like, oh. Did that, did that work out? Right, college. College would be good, you know? Yeah. And you're in college, like, no.

No. I mean, you're in a pretty good run of it in college, though. Did I? Yeah. I guess you're right. Yeah. Oh, great, yeah. Oh, I'm a whale of a time, James.

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the best it was ever going to be for you. Yeah, I know. It's only gotten worse. I think, though, like, let's say, like, I think I said before, like, if I have, like, a big happy family and a dog and a big house, still be fucking miserable. It won't change anything at all, you know?

No, no. Yeah. But what was my point? AI art. Yeah, the artist, you're the problem right there. Yeah, so there are dudes who are just like, yeah, they go out of their way to repulse people. Some would argue this podcast would be an example of that, you know? No, we're winning them over, man, yeah.

Are we? Yeah. Yeah. Of course, man. Yeah. They love us, man. Yeah, that's right. So any else you want to say about this Walmart shooting before we move on to that?

I mean, there's not much to say. He was just another mentally ill man, but he only bought the gun that day. It was an AR-15, was it? I think it was a handgun. It was Glock. Glock 9. I'm not too sure. Again, as you said, there's so many fucking shootings in America that the details all kind of blur, don't they?

It's like AR-15, Glock 9, white guy, black. guy, in cell, demonic presence, gay club Walmart, it's all the same thing, really, isn't it? It does blend in the one, you know, and it's like... It's great, it's just another aspect of how

we're being desensitized and stripped of our humanity, you know? And that's meant to be a bad thing, you know? All right, look, I got some relationship questions here, right? These are all from Colleen Nolan. From the Nolan's sisters? No, no.

sure? Maybe she is, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, look how you said that so. I was like, Godden's wrong. He's an idiot. James, not even the same name. I was like, oh, actually is, yeah. So, okay, first question, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm furious. My husband got my 15-year-old son a lap dance from a stripper at a party.

Wow. Am I in the wrong here? No. Or should I be even angrier? Yeah. 15 years old. Bit young. 15, though, man. He's underage, though. How would you punish him? Well, she's not angry at the son. She's angry at the dad.

You got to punish boat, you know? Yeah. Okay, make the dad give the son a lap dance. You know, it's kind of like when you catch him smoking, you make him smoke all the cigarettes. Like, dad's got to come out in a G-string, oil and glitter all over his mantis and beer belly. The son has suck off the dad and 15 of his friends.

He's teaching him a lesson, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the mother gets to just strum our boss. the whole time. I think that's pretty common, though. I think a lot... What? Getting a child a lap dance?

Yeah, you find a kid in the park, take them to a lap dance club. I mean, I think it's pretty... The dead-eyed Eastern European prostitutes don't even blink. They don't care. Yes, I will put my finger in little boy's assholes.

Who's one now? Me and my fiancé... Fiancy? Yeah, me and my fiancé. Yeah, me and my fiance Say, you want him to do all the talking? I got her, I got her, you know, yeah. Me and my fiance, get on great.

Okay. One small problem. She always gets kicked off flights for bad behavior. Wow. It's her one problem. For some reason, she just sees red on planes. Yeah. What can I do apart from just not flying?

Zanax, man. Just fucking sedator, yeah. Mr. T style, man. Exactly, man, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder, like, she's going to do it. detail, but like, how bad are we talking? Like, if you're getting kicked off flames... If she's... That, to me,

I would say, she just has a real fear of flying, a phobia. And it's coming out in that violent way, you know? So then she acts all erratic on a plane, so she gets kicked off. This is good now. This is pure therapy right now, man. It's not just all like you're a whore. Yeah, exactly. Well, hang on, that does... That brings

me to my second point, Brian. She's a dumb hoar, dude. You gotta give her loads of pills, so she's all dizzy and unconscious and then you grab a little bit of something sweet on the plane. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and I would say,

well, like, if she's, if it's a fear of flying, or maybe she just gets so drunk on planes that she starts whiling out, you know? Could be, yeah. Again, medication. If you have any sort of spousal disagreement, medicate them heavily and

regularly, and that's the only way to really do it. Same with your kids. Just more pills. Pills on pills on pills. Now, you take a lot of drugs when you're flying, don't you? I do. And when I'm not flying.

Yeah. Every day I'm flying, baby. Jefferson Airplane. I want to get ha-ha. So wait, what do you take and why do you take it on the plane? Is it just because of like the... You don't like it or what? I will see.

It's not a fear of flying, although I don't like flying and turbulence freaks me out. That's standard enough. but see I have like and for years my whole life and I'm talking about this before I've had like real bad inner ear problems like so my eustachian chew that's the chew that connects your ear nose and throat

and so when you're... That's pretty important isn't it? Yes yeah exactly so I've had problems with that like equalizing pressure and it's caused massive ear infections I've had to get surgeries I have tinnitus I get real bad pain and dizziness it's a real ongoing problem so but like normal people whose ears are fine all the time when they go up the air you're raising the altitude the equalizing pressure can become difficult it can cause people to have this comfort you know doing that yeah so i have that shit anyway so when i fly it really gets a lot worse so there's kind of

a physical physiological pain reason also there's a psychological i'm thinking about it and getting more you know whatever worked up about it so i need to you know take some people painkillers and some zanis and some booze and a little bit of weed and you know just to yeah just to me right you've got a real concoction going on your body yeah yeah i do just just right sugar spice and everything nice i'm taking pretty much a whole cocktail of drugs every day just to get through it you know and to sleep oh oh baby i got a proper knock myself oh really you take sleeping pills oh i take it all i take it all yes sir now you ever go cold turkey or you're staged now if you went cold turkey. I would. Yeah, it would

fuck me up. Really? You get the shakes and all yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll see, well, like antidepressants or a big one, like if you're on it for years, you can't just quit them cold turkey. Can you know? You gotta taper off. It's that mentality thing, though. No, that's a... I think Andrew Tate would say the opposite. That is a neurochemical scientifically

banked. Yeah, you believe in ghosts, mate. That's what you do, mate. It's neurochemistry, Brian. It's neuroscience. It's pharmacology. Who's telling you that? Have you done the research yourself? Or is it Mr. Doctor telling you? Oh, I've researched extensively. And I've also have my own experiences.

So what happens if you go off it? Let's say, you get the brain, like, you get, like, really horrible, like, migraines, brainzaps. You get, oh, I've got, what are brainsaps? What's happening there? Yeah, it's like a, like, like, brainzaps are kind of like this sort of anomaly that they don't really understand, but it's just like. Like a woman's squirt. Yes, exactly. So it's like I'm squirting in my head.

But you get like a jolting, like, jibber, you know that sensation? when you're falling asleep and you kind of jolt awake. Yeah. So imagine that just going off in your brain all the time. Jeez Louise. And it's really horrible and scary and discomfort, you know, it's fucks you up. I've got that a little bit

over the summer when I was drinking a lot. Yeah. I was doing a lot like, you know, sleep for two hours and working. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like again, it's just your brain gets all fucked up. Like, again, like your neurochemistry gets all imbalanced and like I don't I'm not claiming to understand it

specific like 100% but I just know enough for my own personal experiences that it can really fuck you up if you mess around with that shit so I sort of digging myself deeper and deeper in this pharmacological neurochemical hole that it's going to be harder and harder to get out of

and maybe I just won't get out of it and maybe I'll just die well I assume as time goes by your drugs will get better you would hope I would hope it's more synthetic drugs now yeah but it's only for you know the pavos like me I just get the shit that they give to the mongos and the undesirable.

I'm not getting the crem de la crem one percent. You're getting the stuff literally made out with children. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're eating children's bones and that's good for them. Or you're getting like rat bones. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do we get on to this?

I know, but I'm interested in this now. Fear of flying. It's an interesting thing, though, like. A lot of drugs. Yes, a lot of drugs. I'm not no drugs. Really? Yeah. You're probably better off, I would say. I feel like I'm missing out, though.

Nah, they could, uh, I tell you, the old, uh, the old, uh, the old, The old drugies, you know, you gotta keep taking them every day, or you get to fit, you feel a big sick. Surely, it would be way more healthy to get a little puppy, you know, and just hug the puppy real tight. Yeah, yeah. That's the same thing, basically.

Possibly, yeah. Well, I mean, I'll know that for next time, you know. Maybe in another life, in another life, Brian. So all these people who are coming at me, like, oh, James says problematic things, like, yeah, I'm fucked up, pal. What do you want for me?

saying, like, against you. Oh, they're all against me, right? They're all against me, right? They're all like two people. Yeah, but you're always coming, like Lady Macbeth. Oh, guess who is saying this, can? Oh, they're talking about you. And then when I come to you, I think people don't like me. You're like, ah, don't be an idiot, James. You're a goofball. I do have a lot of fun with that. Yeah, you really, you gas, like me and manipulate me.

I wish I could manipulate people better. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm too retarded to manipulate people. Manipulating me doesn't really work. I mean, that doesn't count for anything. You think you're real Machiavelli and I'm just a spastic you can do it too... You basically want it as well I love it. Yeah, it gets me off. I can't nip it anyone else

I'm just like, oh, you want to be gaslit? I mean Hey, those shoes are red, they're blue. Oh, well-playing, sir. Yes, the Battle of Wits hath begun. Checkmate. Anyway, yeah, whatever.

It's fine. I'm doing, I'm doing good. That's great. It's all fine. next year man next year's gonna be my year we'll both make big changes yeah man yeah yeah yeah I think big changes are long overdue with me I think I really need to

it's uh you know I need to get into boxing I think that's the next stage yeah yeah I need to get real violent yes yeah I have a toothpick of my mouth all the time leather jacket toothpick flipping a nickel

just like hey you got one gold tooth you know slick back hair. I tricycle I paint the black so it looks cool.

I've got a little card in the wheel so it makes that nice yeah. Oh shit Brian coming up to black

here we go yeah like Debo you know I'm gonna go full Omar I'm gonna start banging the

fucking little gay guy yeah you come in the king you better not miss you see you

you flipped it around made me talk about myself that was that was a plan right there oh you got me I fell for it

I'm like goodwill hunting man I'm like not you buying not you know I'm 23

and my boyfriend is 71 people say I'm wasting my life but I love him he's rich he's gonna die soon The funny if he was poor I'd love it if he's like he's a council worker

Yeah And she's rich She's a countess of Spain Or something like that Oh yeah And he's not even charming around And he's like Fuck off would you

And she's like I love him Yeah I love his style Yeah Well, she's obviously, she's either a gold digger or very mentally ill, one of the two. Hopefully boatman, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, again, what are you even meant to do with that? It's like, look, yeah, it's weird that you're buying in a 71-year-old. I don't like how people don't like that, if you know what I mean. There's all these, like, judgmental people out there, like, don't do that, don't do that. Like, everyone's going to do it, all right? Going to do what? You know what I mean? Like, people, like, there's like 23-year-old people, like, oh, a 71-year-old shouldn't bang a

19 year old. It's disgusting. Get back to me when you're 73, all right? Then we'll see what you think, all right? You are getting on this train earlier. I am. I'm investing here. I'm an early investor. Yeah, man. This is like yeah, like Apple. I'm going to be so disgusting my mold. I'll be honest with you.

Everyone's going to be pointing. Pretty gross down to me, honest. Everyone's going to be pointing at me and be like, ooh, that awful man, like, suck it. Screw you. Shit on it and swivel, baby. mobilize wheelchair, you know. You got a problem with that, bitch. Yeah, she's 18.

Yeah, she's mute and disabled. Yeah. Well, she's having a good time. Hey, blink twice for no, sweetie. Yeah, I can definitely see. It's going to be sad that I won't be around to say it. I'll be up in heaven staring down one of God's angels, just like, that's my boy. I'm going to be flawless, like, my neck doesn't work.

my legs don't work I'm just full on Stephen Hawkins and I'm like Yeah Just in the strip Yeah Sit on my face

You pitch Nice Yeah man It's gonna be great But then Here's thing I'll be like that When I'm inside

I'm like Please hold my hands You really love me though Don't you Please make out Contact with me Please Where are you going

Where's the gardener You like him More than me Just because he's Turty as muscles We don't have a garden We live in a council flat What's going on?

Just because he can walk In the working penis Hey, Papi, don't worry, Parumen are going to take good care of your mamacita, eh? What's he mean by that? Why is he talking like that? Good care of her. Is she poorly?

She poorly? What's wrong with her? It's in her sciatica again? Yeah. A lamb sheet on my head. It's going dark. I don't like it Oh, Jesus Christ

Yeah, we've got a very sad life You're not It's pretty bad I'm just daydreaming the bus A while ago there Like, you know I could very much see myself All joking aside

Having just like a nervous breakdown And like burning down the house Really? Yeah, when I'm older Like when I've got kids And stuff like that Yeah Like you know

One night, you know The kids wake up And there's a smell of fire Don't worry kids It's all fucking she can go full Chris Benoit I think I'd be just naked when an erection be like, it's okay

we're all going to heaven to meet James Oh Jesus Christ Yeah You want kids I don't I think it'd be bad for him But I'm going to do anyway

Because I'm selfish You know I'm going to be a very bad dad But they deserve it You know I already hate them That's the thing Yeah

They've already ruined your life I don't like How I see good parents I don't like that. Where are you seeing them? On TV and stuff, you know. Like those gay guys on the modern family. Oh, yeah.

They seem like good parents. I don't like them. No. You shouldn't. I get real jealous. I want Camby, my dad. Yeah, yeah. Cam and Ginger.

You want an Asian baby as well. I want to be that Asian baby. And I still can be. Yeah. I just get the right surgery. Get her. But yeah, I just, I just, I think it's going to be very disastrous

but it's kind of fun in a way, you know? You're having kids. You're seeing what life, all right? Yeah. Life is like a box of chocolates in a way. Wow. Where you got a...

Pearls of wisdom here. You got to really ride the wheels off, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I get you, yeah. You got a raw dog that box of chocolate. I get you, yeah. Some people, like, let's say life's the box of chocolate. Some people like eat two chocolates

so as two chocolates, like, have a healthy relationship. Yeah. And then, like, you know, um, die in. age 70 surrounded by friends and family that's not enough

all of it you need to get all the chocolate like the go to jail chocolate the get accused of something chocolate you know to get fired chocolate

you got to eat all the chocolates at once and then take a big shit in the box of chocolates and then start eating the shit and that's life that is life right there

yeah we're really having the manic breakdown here I like it a lot yeah it's a bit well yeah this is I mean this is a part two

because we took a break there yeah I'm gonna make it all work I promise you this won't sound like Raspastics okay it definitely won't