Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 182 : Mother/Daughter Sexy Times

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

We watch the intern and let Jesus into our lives.....then watch naked people videos on the internet.

I don't know Danny Dyer I liked Danny Dyer When he was You know Everyone likes him What's mean you like You liked him

I like him now No I do I'm gonna walk now That's right Yeah Oh when he said To slash that woman's face With her Stanley blade

For a laugh Maybe that was problematic It was a bit much Oh actually Before we go on to anything else Okay I will say I watched

Light Sleeper Right So as I was saying On the Patreon My New Year's Pretty wild Yeah I sat on my own

In the house Literally, the fireworks are going off I just pulled the curtain Real dark I was like Hello, do you want to I was talking to the cat I was like

Do you want to hang out The cat was like Was busy The cat went upstairs For a while in her own The cat was just staring Out of windows Just like

Ah god The cat was just trying to get in the microwave To kill herself Alright So I was just on my own Okay I watch Light Sleeper It's a movie about

A sad drug addict It's by Paul Schrader Yeah I mean going down a bit of Paul Schrader hole. It's a good hole to go down. I think so. Because Paul Schrader's movies are all about lonely men who are misunderstood by the world, James.

See, you can catch on with this, alright? But then they realise that they need to make their presence known and take revenge. With a gun, all right? It's all the movies like that, you know? One man, you're weak. They all think you're small and limp dick, all right? Well, this isn't limp,

is it? Look at a steel right here. It's so cold on my hands when a fire gets real hot. hard steel of justice. Yeah, it makes you feel like a big man. I'll bring the criminals to justice. By criminals, I mean that girl that won't suck it. The pimps and the buggers

and the fairies and the stuck-up bitches that work in Starbucks. Yeah. I brought guitar in. They'll sing her a song. She told me to leave. Wouldn't give me a free coffee here. What a gash hole.

I'll tell you. A real prick. tease. So all his movies are like that. They're all misunderstood men, like taxi driver. Yes. It's the most famous example. Which is his best one by far,

but it's because it's got Scorsese. So he's done taxi driver. Behind the wheel, if you will. Steady on. You're a bit commode right now, isn't it? You know, it's funny. On the Patreon, you're all like, yo, imagine if a black man was doing this, you know?

On the free one, you're very like, you know, you lift your glasses up. You're like, oh, well, actually, Brian, to think about it, really, that's, uh, I found it rather expositional, oh boy, you know. A little contrived, one might say. Not exactly totally organic, you know. It is reminiscent of the Aristotelian construct.

I feel, say, that shit is fucking gay. It's the canned dog going wild. Woo! Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh, God, I'm so sad all the time. I feel like Danny Dyer, at the end of these dinners. I just want to walk in. to the ocean, you know,

pure bull in a cave. Well, you are getting worse and worse. That's what the funny about the podcast now is they're going to watch me soar, I said it for, I'm going to be soaring, you're going down and down. I am.

I'm sinking. I mentioned I got my Bible podcast. Yes, so you've found Jesus. I have found Jesus, yeah. For now. I might go Muslim next week now, but for now, I've got Jesus in my heart. And is you always good as well?

Because you were, like, I used to be a narcissist, James. You leave that, right? I used to think I was the cock of the walk, all right? I walk into places, I want to bang bitches. You know, my mind is full of demons, all right? Yeah, man. Now, it's all gone.

Yeah. One podcast. One 10-minute Bible podcast. On the bus. Yeah, Leviticus, was it? No, it's a mixture of things. Okay. So, it's actually weird.

They go and break down the Bible and give you lessons every day. It's three people. There's one woman and two men. And I'll be honest, James, I've already fallen in love with a woman. She's an evil temptress. Brian, a seductress. She's my future wife. I already start writing her letters in blood.

So she knows I'm serious, all right? Not my blood, mind you. She's the cane to my able. They were lovers, weren't they? Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, as long as she's able to get down on my cane, that's all I care about. I used to laugh and stuff like that, right? That disgusting, vile, misogynistic rhetoric.

Yeah, that's so-called wordplay. Yeah, yeah. You know, I like doing a podcast didn't swear. Remember those days, you know? Remember when they used to do podcasts in the London Palladium in front of the Queen?

That's right. And he used to do a very clean set about how much you love Jesus and how much you love Britain. I had Catherine Codd, what was her name? Abba Thaithet. What was her name, Catherine Tate? Did she ever see, like, you know,

when she does that for the Queen? Do she do for the Queen? Yeah, she actually, like, you know, it's what do you call it, like the Royal... Variety performance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she comes out and fucking Matthew Horn is like, oh, mate, check you out, there's some old bird up there.

And then Catherine Tate starts looking at the queen. And she's like, I'm a bothered. Do I look bothered? And the queen's just there kind of doing that, you know, fake reptile smile. That's like she died three years of being earlier. Yeah, yeah. And she's just thinking, Jesus. It used to be Jim Davidson and Blackface.

Now that was comedy. What the fuck is this shit? Man, that took over the world for a while. You know when Harry introduced Megan to the Queen? Jim Davidson, I haven't seen you in so long. Still doing the old routines, are you? Bring it back the old favourites, yeah. The only thing that made my husband laugh.

Am I Bothered was so big, man. Yeah, man. That was like back in, you know what ringtones were big. Yeah. Remember crazy frog? Remember on the back of the magazine that you could call in and buy a ringtone? Yeah. And you also buy porn.

Remember that like? Yeah, like. Yeah, but he was... You could buy like a page three picture Like a girl where tits out It was like seven euro And it was shit It wasn't seven euro

It was a subscription Oh So it was like Let's say it was 99 euro per week To look at one pair of tits And you're like This is great value You only got one tit a week

It's like you know Send us your bank details And we'll send you the other taint It was like cliffhanger away It's like you got one tit It's like will it be the same size Oh will the nipple be weird And it never is

That's how they get you. Well, here's the thing when you grow up as well, a lot of tits are different sizes. Think about that. No, I know. I don't mean like different tits

and like different pairs of tits. No, yeah. Different ladies one tits bigger than the other. And you know, sometimes, okay. It's natural, Brian.

Or at least that's what they try and tell you. But here's thing, sometimes look at tits are right, you think they're the same. But if you get a scale out, all right? Yes. They don't like this, by the way.

They're like, oh, the scale's too cold. I'm doing science. I'm basically Walter White. Or I'm doing something. I don't even know what I'm talking about Christianity So I don't find out any that funny anymore

All of this garbage is just You've been saved by the Lord now Also it's pretty cool Because I can walk around people now All right And like they're having fun Yeah So let's say as a guy I know okay

He drives a motorbike And he gets all the bitches Yeah yeah yeah And he gets two girls on the back of his motorbike And he's going Vrum rum rum See you later nerd And he like throws an egg at my face

All right And he goes, take that egg face. Not exactly Kermode level, but all right. No exactly wordplay, but you've brought the egg with you. I suppose technically there is egg on my face. Yeah, he drives off. Now, before Christianity, I'd be like,

oh, I'm sad now. But now I can tutter and be like, well, he's having fun now. Yes. But he won't have fun forever, will he? I will have fun in the kingdom of heaven. Jesus The meek

Shall inherit the earth I'm gonna get on Jesus motorbike And hold them around the chest We'll drive off together No bitch is allowed That's right Frum brum

And we'll see Everything together You know I heard one day Driving into work All right On my 10 minute Bible podcast You know the seven sins

Yeah One sin Has no reward whatsoever See can you figure out Which one it is What do you mean No reward

So let's say Lust Oh You get to bang. Let's say you're lusty, okay? Let's say, all right, you are, you know, let's say you're walking around Temple Bar and you feel really horny.

You've got a big boner and you're just screaming, somebody, touch it, please. Yeah, so you have to go into McDonald's bathroom and jerk off very loudly. You're not doing like secretly, I'm jerking off in here. You're disabled. There's like a woman who's like,

I'm disabled, let me in, like, I'm more disabled, I'm horny. That's right. Yeah, okay. I've been crippled by Jesus. Or let's say, let's say, like, lust, you're lust, I was being to be silly there. That's not me anymore.

No. Let's say you're lusting after your neighbor's wife. Coveting thy neighbor's wife. Yeah. And you fuck her. Yeah. It's a sin, but at least you had the few seconds of sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before she woke up, yeah.

Now you have eternity of hell. Right. All right. I went straight past that. Oh, yeah. A little joke he did there, right? No like that anymore. It's going to be a very different podcast now.

Okay. I kind of like it. You know what? I like this. You have a lot of fun there for many years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sim, Zem, Zoom. Bapaboo, boo, zippa, zappababoo.

Oh, I'm Jewish, you know, all that stuff, you know. Spock. I am not a crook. I am not a spock. Yeah, all that stuff, okay? All that. All this silly, mentally ill shite, all right? It's gone.

It's all out the window there. This is all different. This is what I've dated, but this is it. This is a structure right here. You're saving me. This is salvation. Feels good. So my point is lust or like gluttony.

You eat a load of pizza. You feel bad. At least you got that pizza inside you. Think of other sins. Stealing. Pride. Pride, okay. Stealing isn't one of the seven sins.

I thought we were talking about the seven sins. What a seven? I've forgotten. Help me, James. Lust, greed, pride, sloth, vanity Slot, you get to sleep a lot Envy and

vengeance Yeah Now which one of those has no reward Vengeance You get to Kill someone Sloth I mean

You know especially You get to stay in bed all day Yeah yeah yeah Smoking your joint sticks That's right Yeah you're so crippled with You know

Depression You can't even get out of bed You feel like you've got A pound of wet sand In your cranium just weighing you down but yeah no you're right

it's a lot of fun envy that's the answer envy there is no reward you're right actually yeah yeah yeah that literally opens up in my head on the bus

and that's why I started believing okay it's like man even if you don't believe you got to admit that's something good you're going in on the bus that's same

yeah so listen to you you're probably listening like some hip hop music but disrespecting women I was I was yeah yeah I was like

yo bitch yeah you best be able to get down on my cane when I bend you over, you'll be feeling the pain, girl? Yeah, but listen, okay? There's a lot of people, especially guys like me, to be honest, like white wiggers

okay? Listen to like future, he's like talking about banging bitches, like, yeah, banging bitches would be nice, yeah. Oh, I sure would like, oh yeah, I'd drive my Ferrari around. Yeah, yeah. I just want to get in my Ferrari, but I feel sad. Yeah. That's no good. No. But this stuff is actually healthy. I feel like

it's literally like eating vegetables. Okay. I'm eating vegetables in my brain. I'm busy with vegetables in my ears. Yeah, I've often thought your brain is quite vegetated, all right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Now, but to that point, there is actually, like, like neuroscientists would say that people that do believe in God

or have a faith in a higher power, sort of they're just, you know, by and large, happier people statistically, whatever it is, does something to your neurochemistry, your mood, to just elevate you if you think there's a higher power guiding you and protecting you and looking after you

I imagine that just feel very good yeah imagine there's some freak going and listen to Richard Dawkins every day yeah he's not real I don't like atheists here's the thing much to like envy right

you say that there's no reward for envy what is the reward for atheism you know what I mean what it's like yeah yeah everyone I love he's just rotting in the ground same as I'll be and there's nothing after

afterwards, but it's good that I know that for some reason. Well, look, being an atheist itself, fine, all right? No, no. You enjoy it. Hey, more room for me in the kingdom of God. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't understand these people who are like celebrity atheists who like, all they do. Like, I'm talking about Ricky Jervais here. Like he's doing Derek, you know, he's doing something worthwhile.

But these people, okay, like Dawkins, for example. Yeah. They write a book every few years that's like, you know, God. God's still not real. Still not real, Lange. And then they go to all these debates. There's like Dawkins versus, you know,

a priest, like a 60-year-old priest who probably believes in God, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, God isn't real. And the priest's like, well, I think he is. And then Dawkins's like, well, you would think that. Yeah. But what about this?

And people in the crowd, like, knowing the crowd is like going to be won over. Yeah, no one's jazz. Yeah, it's kind of like... It's not wrestling, you know, it's no fun to it. There's no macho macho-man. Randy Savage. Yeah, that was...

Well, God, it's not real, brothers! And he beats the shit out of Dawkins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pretty fun. Hey, Dawkins, I know, in fairness to him, he used to get some nice niz back in the day. I've got a little bit back into Old Brian now.

Oh, forgive me for a second yet. You're so, you're lustful heathen ways. No, but I mean, like, I can still kind of... I'm like, you know what I'm like? You know the way you got those cool priests that'll go to inner city kids? Yeah. And they're sitting in a chair weird.

Yeah. You know, I'm like that way you do. Yeah, but you know, they're only doing that to groom the children. because they know go into the inner city you can molest as many of them as you want

and no one will say out about it why you think I'm here playing the long game right you if I molest you if I molest you who the fuck's gonna care

literally if you me too James you me too me tooed me like Brian bet me over and fucked me all right and he spit on me

and shit and everyone was like yeah it's the podcast we yeah yeah they're like good one James wow that's that's like

your Macaveli and you know you were like planting that in my brain by calling the podcast this you're in a boy who cried rape you know what's gonna believe him like oh bright you know you're saying

oh James doing his one of his acts again you know his skits he's doing one of his funny voices as the crying rape victim who's very believable uh look at what he was wearing though baggy black jeans and a hoodie he was asking for

oh actually just again to change tracks again yes please do I was actually talking about you with someone recently in a positive light Okay. This is not me nagging you

or gaslighting you or any of that dog this is true. We're talking about acting and I said you know he's actually a good actor James Cadden

oh I actually said that thank you I got proof I recorded the whole thing because I start recorded on my conversation in the case anyone tried

any kind of bitch tries to lie about what he's said good good good I got very paranoid now that'll be Jesus Levitticus 13

you best be recording bitches because they will say you some shit. They will litigate. When did you ever see me act? You did a few films?

Oh, I did back in the day, back when I was a young, sexy piece of ass. You're in a film, not getting to it. You're in a film recently where a man may or me or me of killed himself. No, he did, yeah. Because he was a person.

Well, I don't want to say what. Yeah, no, I was in a short... Once they named a film because that kind of spoils it, you know? Yeah, I was in a short film. But it's funny because that... Well, no, we can say it. It's by our friend, Cody Farron.

It's your funeral. And it's called an Irish. Irish Goodbye and it's very good. Good film, yeah. And I was in it. I was very happy to be in it. But there's also a film, a short film called an Irish Goodbye that has been nominated for an Oscar.

And one of the lads came into work who said, I can't believe, did you say? Carthysville's been nominated for No, and I just had to say to him, no, that's a different one. You burst his bubble straight with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can give me a second, James like being like. Well, when he said that, I thought

he was kind of razzing me. He was like, you know, ah ha. But you know, I thought he was saying it in a joking way, but then I was like, oh, no, sorry, that's a different one. I'll tell you, it won't win, because it doesn't have James Cadden. That's right. It has got a mongo in it, though, so, you know. Ah, she probably, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm not laughing at that, by the way. I don't laugh at that anymore. Cadden edited that in. Maybe take that bit out, actually. But yeah, so... It's actually funny if we cut that out, no one those were talking about. I'm a very good actor is what you were saying.

Sometimes, okay, if we cut something out that you said, people think like oh it's probably something awful it always is it always is it's actually way worse you think case and point well yes I'm a great actor is what you're saying Brian

my point was just talking about acting in general like a Gandalfini but with hair yeah more heavy breathing yeah what about that

this shit is fucking god shit it's bad for your fucking brain Brian I was watching in the loop yeah great film by the way yeah yeah I forgot even

that, like, the bit where he's walking around, there's a lot of heavy breeding there. He did breathe heavy, yes, yes, that's I know a girl who's mega into Ganalfini right now. Man, the ladies love a bit of Gandalfini. She's literally disabled because she's so wet for Gandalfi.

Yeah, yeah. She can't use her legs. No? No? Wow. Think about that. I will. I am. Yeah. I can't stop. She's got a, she's got linguine legs, you know? She's so wet for a guinea. You can start eating gabagoo

like fuck, all right? Okay. And start doing coke. As soon as I figure out what Gabagool is, I'm going to eat a lot of it. I think it's a boy's ass. Well, yeah, my point was

I was talking about acting. I'm a bad actor. Because you told me, when you're acting, you don't think like how would the character react. Yeah. You think how would I react?

Yes. You try to be as naturalistic as possible. Yeah. You're not doing a big like, oh, I'm angry right now. Oh, I'm so angry. Oh, I'm shaking my fist because of the anger.

Yeah. You're just acting. An angry person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pretty good at actually. It comes quite naturally, doesn't it? All the people in your life that have done you wrong. But I've never been in a drama.

It's always a comedy. And I'm like, you fucking cunt! I'll fucking kill your kids! Okay, cut, James. Could we try that with maybe 15% less intensity? Maybe don't say the word cunt, James. And the broken bottle, now, we love that you brought it with you, but it's not required for the scene.

This is in the playground. It does show initiative. Yeah. But now. Well, the thing about what makes me a good actor is because my face is kind of weird looking, you know, it's kind of, it's, you know, it's, you know, you see, take like a classically good looking, you know, Brad Pitt type. He has to do a lot to convey emotion. Because his pretty face is so pretty that you can't really believe him. Whereas somebody puts a camera at me, he goes, all right, I want you to play a fan.

ugly retard go and I just stand there and they're like cut and print that was great you nailed it buddy they could literally just do like magic lightning in a bottle they just do a video of your face yeah that's real kitchen sink drama right there that's ken loach yeah you got ken loach face and i'll tell you the ladies aren't loving the ken loach face i'll tell you that for now i know i'll make you feel good though well this shows you no one can win i was talking a girl a while I go, she thinks Ryan Gostling is ugly. Are you serious? Yeah. Try and figure it out.

So, look, even Gostling is in the, he's literally like, no one likes me, they think I'm an ugly piece of, I've got Ken Lodge face, don't die. And you play cheer up, Gostling, come on. Come on, cheer up, mate. You're in Barbie. You play Asian Ken. Good for you too. It's a choice. I've got Ken Loach penis. Think about

that. Yeah, yeah. That's real problems, brother. You've got kitchen sink penis. I've got kitchen sink penis and kitchen fridge torso. That's my life. That is my life. So, like, you are naturalistic.

Thank you. And you look good in camera. Thanks. And my point is, I can't do that because I am kind of an awkward, kind of gangly kind of presence, you know? Yeah. At least in my mind Sure So when I'm acting

And I'm like Let's say I have to go pick up a cup And walk over to the kitchen Yeah I'm in my head I'm like Wait how do I would do that normally

I don't think I'd do that normal I try and do it normal Oh I'm in my head too much And you just come in on a pogo stick With a cup up my ass You know Did I do it right

Yeah Yeah And they're like You being ugly Rhinxisting freak Yeah Yeah You and Gosling just are on the dole queue together Anyway

Well no I like I've never seen you act I don't think I've only been a few little things like Yeah Again like studenty things like Never good stuff Again it's not like you know It's not like you're being directed by

You know You know seasoned professional who knows How to get the right Like a good director You know why I need a cue brick Yes you do I need someone to torture me until I'm mentally ill spastic And Dr Phil

I need a little spastic on Dr. Phil I need to be He's on the Shelly DeVold The shit out of me. Yeah, man. Just in life. No cameras required. I think you could be good.

If you need to be cast, right, though, you know, just play a skinny, four-eyed sex pest. I think I could be the next Martin Star. Yeah. Or is that big ambitions right there. That's pretty good. No, Martin Star. That's a good one.

He probably gets pussy. I imagine he does. But, again, I don't need pussy anymore. I got Jesus. But, yeah, you're a Jesus freak now. I am a Jesus freak. Yeah, yeah. Well, they have done studies, James, okay?

Yeah. They study people who are more intelligent versus people who believe in Jesus more. Okay. That sounds a bit condescending, isn't it? It does.

Yeah, the study people who are a genius... You just call yourself a mongo? People who are geniuses, an absolute, absolute, absolute brain dead fucking donkey cunts. It's atheists versus people

with big penises. So, science says... Wait, what were you going to say, though? No, my point is, the study is people who value belief more and people who value, like,

science and reasons. And the people who value belief No one either happier, they actually have better outcomes of living In a long-term study Because they're just like happy And they're not going to like I think people are very smart Can be too smart

And that can lead to self-destruction Too smart for your own good Also That I think it's a real thing Oh 100% I think the dumber you are The way happier Of course ignorance is bliss

You know Jack Reelish I don't know who that is Okay right well Yeah A white footballer I refuse to learn his name Yeah And he's happy, unlike the other ones.

They're all depressed. All the other ones are self-harming. That's right. Well, there is quite a high suicide rate for ex-footballers. Unless you're Gaza, just rocking out 24-7. Gaza's never meant the ill ones. Gaza's got the key to everything. I might join the church of Gaza.

That'd be pretty fun. Man, Gaza is a mother. He's a... What a life. What a life. Yeah. Still living, man. But the thing, to go back to your point there,

people who are like, you know, who believe in science and reason. and I think the reason they're not happier is because, well, they really need to explain everything and control everything, whereas life is so chaotic, you can't control it, but the Jesus freaks are like just going up the floor. I don't like that term anymore, okay?

Okay, the Jesus queers are... Say Jesus Mongolites, all right? That's my name of my new band, all right? Mongo Jesus, by please. But yeah, I might start going to some Christian events. Yeah? Probably not, actually, that's a big commitment.

I'm sure you were raised. Catholic, weren't you? I don't even remember. Yeah. Could be Jewish for all, I know. I was so zonked out on funny pills. I was on the ludes

since I was too, man. I don't get a fuck. Am I in a synagogue, a church, a mosque? I don't go to fuck. You thought there were ludes? They were just the green and orange tick tacks. Oh, actually, another new religion

I have is John Burtall. Hey. Oh, I can, yeah. I'll say this right now. Initially, when he first came on the scene. I was kind of I turned my nose up. I was like who's this guy? I don't

know if I care for him but I you know it takes a big man to admit he was wrong I was wrong. John Bernthal is the shit. You didn't think he was good did you? You know what it was? You bought all your stocks in the Martin Starr didn't you? Time's going to

tell on that my friend. Let's just say the new Punisher's going to be pretty sweet. They're already remade we own this city. but the new detective Martin Star Oh hey Maybe we shouldn't Steal this evidence

Or maybe I don't know Maybe we should Persecute blacks or something Do you like my beard No Bernthold's great He was on Rogan there You know Yeah

Talking about Shial Abouf Well speaking of that I've been listening to his new podcast His podcast is very good Real ones His podcast is example Positive masculinity Okay

Because I think this one my tears now. I think they're trying to destroy masculinity. You see what happened to Andrew Tate. Oh, yeah, he got arrested. Yeah, for no reason at all. Yeah, a bloody stitch-up. Yeah, literally no reason. What a human trafficking?

What is that even? How can, what do you mean human trafficking? What, he was driving humans as cars? Was he jumping on a human's shoulders and going, brim-b-bim-beep, you're my car now, human? Is that it? That's a bit of fun. was he sex trafficking off to his prime was he yeah yeah

coctomish prime no literally what happened okay is andrew tate was driving along alright yeah and then greta whoever cunt her name is Greta Thunberg yeah she pulled over and she planted those women in his car yes like a bag and a bag of weed yeah yeah yeah exactly

so all joking aside no joke anymore positive masculineity people focus on the negative masculinity or toxic masculinity that's actually that's the term I couldn't even think Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just spastic, aren't it? Just look, I'll try to be smart.

I was trying to be smart right there. I didn't know where I was going with that. No, they're trying to destroy masculine. Hey, look, if I'm masculine, maybe we should get rid of it, you know? You know what? I thought the Bible will help. Learn my lesson, didn't I? Just give me that Quran there.

I don't even deserve a Quran now. I'm not good enough for that. I've got fucking tech wars with William Shatner What is that? Is that a real thing? It is, yeah. Well, I wouldn't have been too deep there.

A little bit, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you've been listening to the John Bernthor podcast. Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah. Again, we also have very spastic bipolar episodes. That's right, yeah. So... I often wonder, is it too spastic and bipolar and schizophrenic for the average person to enjoy?

Yeah, who the fuck? Like, who's only a tech wars, you know? Yeah. I don't think anyone likes to. this podcast, Brian, do they? I think we've done a few hundred episodes. It's not successful. People don't like it.

This is like our church in the way, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Let's say that. Richard Dawkins is starting to make a lot more sense. So, he had an episode recently. I think the guy, he interviewed a guy, he's named his name was like Richard Stanley or something like that.

Okay. This guy, pretty interesting. So, ever since his little kid, this guy hated Muslims. Just hated him. That's the way to look. The way they act. It makes me sick. All right?

Yeah. That's what he said, right? Yeah. So, this is before 9-11. Whoa. Yeah. Early bird gets the worm, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. He knew what was going on, right? So, he was just like, oh, hate them so much. Hate him. Let you see him in a store, but like, you're wearing a funny, you're wearing a funny hat. Why are you doing? Yeah. Why are you wearing that?

Disgusted. Fuck off. This is America. He said he loved everyone else. He grew up in a, like, half white, half black community, you know? Okay. A lot of Jewish people around, okay? Literally, it was like a this multicultural utopia, apart from Muslims.

Right. It's like, ew. Okay. Who brought that in? Don't like it at all. So he joins the war then. Right. He goes to war.

And this is, again, there's more peacekeeping for Iraq and Afghanistan, all right? Okay, so this is kind of like early, before 9-11 still? Yeah, yeah. Wow. And it happens while he's in the military. Yeah. And then they go to Iraq and Afghanistan. Yeah.

And he said, when it happened, it was like, this is bad. but I'm just thinking of all the Muslims I can kill. Wow. I was like, this is going to be awesome. Holy shit. We're going to clean the world right here. My God. Not trash in the world, James, you know?

Yeah. Trash. Waring funny hats, you know what I mean? All right. Yo, guys, let's just take a break from this right now because I don't want to talk to you about blue chew, okay? I just wonder, a jury, where do the ad reeds come in? It's like, I just wanted to kill all Muslim children because they make me sick.

Yo, guys, so stamps.com, you know, wicks. Wicks is the best. I bet it when you're thinking about those Muslims, all right? You probably couldn't get a hard on, could you have? Well, I got something that can make you hard again. You satisfy your lady down there. You know what I mean. So this guy, okay, hate him so much.

He literally seemed like they were in Afghanistan for ages, all right? And there was this Muslim translator. Lovely girl. Lovely girl. Help them out, you know, would bring, meet the, they met the family. Right. She worked for the American government, all right? Okay.

And they helped to track down war criminals. Literally to track down legit war criminals send me to the Hague. This goes very well up in the military. He was like literally Seal Team 6 above Seale Team 6. Sealed Team 6, above Seale Team 6 and a half. Yeah, or 5, whichever one. I don't know if it goes up or down or what, like. Seam-tailed platform, 9 and 3 quarters.

You notice there, 6 was like, 5. I was like, what, wait, 7 again? No, another way, do other way. Anyway, he was saying like, I like this Muslim. So I was thinking, like her so much. When I do kill her, I'll make sure it's nice and quick. Whoa. Just a bull in the head.

but she's on their side yeah dude hey when the time comes hey you gotta take out the trash I guess so yeah

you know she's a virus alright that's what he said yeah yeah yeah yeah make sure you

yeah be sure to add that on every time I'm acting all right yeah so he keeps going he wants to keep going

and he goes like they're like why do you want to sign up for more tours like I want to kill more Muslims so he's killing a lot of Muslims yeah yeah yeah and other

people as well, I presume. But eventually he gets like an injury, all right, and he has to go home. Right. And that's when the badness starts. He gets like, like ex-footballers, you know? Yeah. Soldiers like ex-foot, soldiers like Gaza, you know? A lot of soldiers get a job as a pundit in Sky News,

but some of them can't do that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not all veterans can be, you know, Gary Neville. So, like, he gave the kind of standard thing, gets in some drugs, I think, has like a lot of failed marriages. Right. And he said that he got even worse, but Muslims. Like he'd be one step away from spitting

on them in stores. He's like, get out. Get out right now. Get out of this. You're making my wife upset. And she's like, no, I'm not upset. You're listening to her. You've made her all confused now, you know? Stop using your voodoo magic to trick her. So, he says, you know what? I'm going to build a bomb and blow up a mosque.

Wow. Yeah. So he starts slowly building this bomb. Yeah. And he's, he don't want to hurt innocent people. Yeah. Non-Muslims, all right? So he decides he's going to take his time. He's going to slowly follow the movements of these Muslims around this town, okay?

Like the local mosque, you know, like check it out. He starts slowly building this bomb. And he makes like, like, he knows what he's doing. This bomb, it's not like some kind of small bomb that like the Columbine kids that make. Yeah. It's something that would like take out a lot, like more than one building. Right, okay.

It's like some serious shit. He's getting connections. It's like Oklahoma City level. Bigger. Okay. This is a professional right here. Yeah. Okay.

So, but then, now here's my little conspiracy theory, Ha, all right? Okay. So this guy's been going around Your tin foil Yamika This guy's been going around Okay Tell him this story

Yeah All right And the point of it is This is his point All right He this is his story He goes into the synagogue To check it out

To blow it up The synagogue Oh yeah sorry Yeah The mosque The mosque Great Great

What time were you Oh come on Yeah I know sorry He goes to the the mosque, check it out. Bear mind, this guy has killed many Muslims. He's hated them his whole life. He despises them. He wants to kill more. He knows he's going to die. He's a suicide mission. Yeah. He's going to kill himself in this process. And he's like, this is, I'm going to die a hero. Now, you know that guy in Forrest Gump? Yeah. Lieutenant Dan.

Yeah. He's going to die like Lieutenant Dan. Like he wants to die, all right? So he goes into the mosque, all right? Got right this time. Find him was following. All right? It goes in the So he's a black guy who looks cool. Yeah. The black guy's like, hey brother, you want to learn about the Quran? He's like, all right. He reads a little bit. He's like, Muslims are awesome.

Wow. And he decides that he loves Islam and Islam is beautiful. It sounds like a very mentally unstable, highly impressionable type of guy. Yeah, okay. So I think he just like... One day is all talk. Yeah. I think like on the playground he heard like a Muslim joke.

as a child's like, I hate them, I'm going to dedicate my life to killing them 50 years later. He saw Aladdin. He was like, I don't like him. I don't like to keep coming out with lamps and granting wishes. Why is Gilbert Godfrey the parrot? What's going on here? Their culture is all parrots.

Yeah. But, okay, so what's your conspiracy? So now he goes around telling people about this. And my conspiracy theory is, I think he's a CIA asset. Yeah. He's like, hey, where they make. American military, we actually love Islam. Okay. So maybe you should

you know, let us in and they'll snoop around the mosque. What are you hiding? We love you. Yeah. You're fucking yeah. Come to you. What are you got the sequel to Aladdin? Sick. There was a sequel actually. There was. Direct to DVD. I know. Oh, okay. Oh. Oh, step back.

Yeah. It's like I brought a little plastic fork to a knife fight. You're entering the arena, brother. Yeah. Well, who did the voice after Robin Williams? I don't know. Damon Wayans No Now I've won this round Dan Castellina

Oh Homer Simpson Yeah Okay So there So anyway So he So he So anyway

Dan Castellan was going Blow up a mosque Is what I should say So I think It's a little bit of like Here We're the government We actually love Muslims

Okay Forget about the whole Afghanistan Iraq thing Abu Grabe Yeah Yeah We love him now Yeah

They took what We read Literally the guys like, I walked in. I think he's married to a Muslim girl now. One guy said, hey, what's up? He's like, these are my brothers. He's like, you want to play some B-ball?

He's like, I do actually, yeah. No one ever asked me to play B-ball before. Yeah. And it was Muslim B-ball. And it was actually pretty fun. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't believe it. No.

The guy seems a bit strange. To be honest, that story just seems so fucking like, just made it up, you know what I mean? Also, the guy in it, he was saying, like, I can't talk about the bomb because I've talked to the FBI, and the FBI have told me that my bomb design was so good that if anyone hears it

they'll replicate it exactly if I even hint to what it is like this bomb could literally blow up Nakasampi or whatever it's called okay Operation Wiley Coyote yeah and like

he works for like the government by the way now that's his job he goes around teaching people and teaching soldiers about that so it's funny they have like killology yeah which is how they kill people all right and have him come in and be like actually guys after like 50 years of

slaughtering muslims civilians then be like ah wait turn the other cheek brothers yeah yeah oh man he's he's talking pretty interesting he was talking about when they're learning how to kill Muslims right they're learning how and I keep saying Muslim like well it's not just Muslims very wink wink like oh I want to kill everyone you know not just Muslims yeah yeah I'm sure you kill a few wealthy white people wait quick yeah a few syllable Silicon Valley Tech Muslims. What? He was saying like, you have to

give him as paper. Paper. They're not people. Wow. They're paper targets. Okay. So when he came back to the real world, he sees he's a Muslim in Starbucks. That's a paper person right there. Yeah. You shoot them, no blood comes out.

Damn. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's I don't think that's that's not a good thing to teach people. Is it? Oh, you're lame. He's a paper man. No blood or feelings. No nurse. endings or consciousness

it's fine stick your knife in his ass it's made of paper oh actually before we go we can't have a few minutes left oh yeah we're talking about the intern oh yeah yeah go for it man so last time we have such a crazy life it's nonstop it's motley cruise no I mean sarcastic it's a sad

life let's be honest all right you have to accept it it's lame the only we can move on you know we can go oh we have a crazy life ha ha ha ha yeah that joke gets sadder and sadder every time it does so funnier every time not for us obviously more

the people hate us yeah yeah exactly even the people that like us get a chuckle out of how pathetic we are

yeah well for now yeah well for now be eating crow soon enough but so me and James we're kind of

looking around on Amazon Prime to find something it's kind of hard on Amazon Prime a lot of shit we watch remember we watch

extremely loud extremely close remember that the Tom Hanks 911 movie that was so bad real bad remember Tom Hanks

like the wacky dad. Yeah. So he's like the wacky dad and he dies 9-11 and he leaves like, right correct, he leaves like a treasure hunt. A treasure hunt around New York for his son to find. And the son's what like 12 years old and he's running around

the streets of New York City by himself at night post 9-11 mind you. Yeah. Like right after they're still fucking like like asbestos clouds floating around lower Manhattan And he's like, I'm doing a treasure hunt While his fucking spastic mother is just down in Prozac with vodka

To make it through another fucking day It's an adventure But we gave up on that And watch the intern The intern, it's interesting, is De Niro? Yes. Plays an intern. That's the premise of the movie.

So he's a guy who used to work for, I think, the phone book His whole life. The phone book. Yeah, you know, the phone book. The very first phone book. No, you know, the company you'd make the phone book every year. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was the guy who worked for that. Right. And they're out business now because of texting and WhatsApp and their only fans and all that, you know? And Snapchat. Yeah, so they don't need the phone book anymore. So he's like a 60-year-old man, 60-something.

I think he's 70. No, he's like 78 or something, I think. Yeah, you're right, yeah, yeah. So he is now, well, this is such an American, this is like an American Ken Loach movie. It's, man, it's not even. like very like lifetime

channel TV movies this was a Ken Loach movie it's like oh lost my fucking job yeah he's got like a fucking shack with like three walls alright yeah and his

like he's in like crippling pain all the time and his brother's smoking crack all right and his wife is like I know she's got like she's missing like two legs

in one arm right and she's like my benefits and there's an old tramp pissing on her face you know it's like this is reality

this is broking britain right right but in like he gets a job in just a cabbage factory where he has to eat all the rotten

cabbages and he's just constantly shitting and seltta can we not just put him in the bin now eat him

you fucking slake like a Tory man like a Tory posits of big hat it's like yes chop chop eat the cabbage you swine

called Norris Bonson. That's doing their old boy. I never care. You never one. You silly shud. Shave it up.

You bloody bum owl. You bloody puff. Yeah. But like the American version of that it's like he loses his job. He's got a great apartment. A great apartment. He's got a penthouse in New York.

Is he a widower? I think he's a widower. Yeah, yeah. So no wife. Pretty sweet. No wife. Mass apartment. And he seems to...

It's a bachelor pad. He seems to just get the job because he's bored. Yeah. He just wants something to do. He doesn't need the money. No, he just likes working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he gets the job in like a fashion magazine. I think so. That's, it seems to be, yeah, like a fashion. Well, it's not just a magazine. I think they're like a fashion designer label. Yeah, it's one of those cool offices. But they produce a magazine to show off their clothes or whatever. They have like a, they ride bikes around the office.

No, only Anne Hathaway does that. Oh, you're right, yeah. She's the kooky executive. Annaway rides the bike, all your place is ride the back of the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just another place. So he gets a job there

and I thought the movie would be like, you know, he has to learn how to adapt to the modern world. You know, it's like well, what's Twitter? Well, what's happening here? Yeah, that there be some struggle or something. He's just great straight away. Yeah. Like he walks in, he immediately's like Oh, well, just, oh, a computer, turn it on.

Hey, oh, it works. A two is one. Fantastic. But even stuff like... There's my penis. I take a picture of the penis sent her to the... She likes it.

She likes the penis picture. That's great. That's great. It disappears. The evidence is gone. This is fantastic. It's a brave new world. I love it.

I love it. Yeah. Like, even like small stuff like those are the boxes in the corner. He's like, should I move the boxes? Like, oh my God. Well, this guy,

he's got some old school knowledge that we can learn from. He's like Confucius bra laying down science on us right now. But it's kind of. at Adam Devine, who I really like. Yeah, Adam Devine. Well, you got something against Adam Devine,

do you? You're getting very defensive there, you fucking, I tell you. I'm more of an Anders, man. Oh, you, I like Anders. He's in it, too. He is in it, yeah. No, Blake's like, fuck. You have to draw a line somewhere. Yeah, cut out the dead weight.

The Nero's like, no. I don't want that hair, anyone near me, okay? Reminds me in my ex-wife. Hey, nah, hey-da, Hey-da, we-z-jong-jing. So, come on. So we find out Like Anne Hadaway's got a lot of stress

Because she's a single woman No, she's not single actually No, she got a wife, Anders is her husband She has a wife, let's be honest Anders is her wife She pegs them Every night she parks that bicycle In between his ass cheeks

Man, you know what, people always make fun The guy who like stays home to mind the kids Yeah That's pretty sweet life Oh yeah 100% If your wife is out there getting dick all day Yeah You get to stay home playing Lego

With your daughter that's black That's pretty sweet sweet, you know? That's a very sweet. You're build a Millennium Falcon where your Puerto Rican daughter, even though you're not Puerto Rican and your wife is a Puerto Rican. She's like, I don't

like this. What is this? It's like space and shit. That's fucking gay arms. Why are you fucking with this shit? What the fuck is Chewbacca, man? They fuck don't make no sense. The fuck out of here fucking white motherfuckers is crazy, man. Do you remember the bit in it? I love you too,

honey buns. Remember the bit in it We're like, De Niro immediately walks in He starts getting pussy, all right? Straight away, René Russo walks up It's like jerking, I'm off, you know? No, the actual scene is, it's almost close to that. It is close.

She's a massage therapist. So they're at their desks, okay? Yeah, and the vines there and whatnot, you know? And then the Aeron's there. Aeron from the Keene Peel sketch. So all the stars are out tonight, all right? So Renee Russo, who is looking tight, by the way. Yeah.

She goes up, starts massaging them. And the joke is De Niro gets a boner. A big, rock hard, 78-year-old boner. Did he notice in them? De Niro is playing it like he's slightly mentally disabled. He's not like going like, hey, this is pretty good. He's like, what's happening? It's all tingham.

Oh, no. I'm scared. Oh, no, the funny juice is going to come out of my pee-pee again. No. But hasn't been asking to give him a magazine to put over his crotch. His boners so hard. Yeah, and then the fella's like, dude, you're crushing the push, bro.

Oh, yeah, I'm crushing the pussy, dude. It's very good. We go do bong rips in our lunch hour. What do you say? We could go to the picture house, catch a show. I know the fellow who works in the bathroom. The Nero probably still thinks New York is a jerk-off boots.

Remember those back in the day? I asked his members. Oh, I remember, yeah, yeah. I remember being a young boy. I just wanted a few shillings so I got an after-school job in a whack-off boots. Yeah, that's interesting the alien

concept to us. No, my job was I had to lick the glass because the... And the floor. No, I did that. That was just for me. Oh, yeah. That was actually clocked out. The man's like,

this kid. He's got moxie. But anyway, yeah, so back to... He's got a spunk. That's a bit low Brian, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. A Christian. Yeah. Jesus, would have proved of that? I would.

Now, Jesus is one of the boys. No, it's me, Gene's in the office. I'm Renee Rousseau's giving me a boner and she's like, dude. Rock on, dude.

Yo, I don't remember breaking out the loaves and fishes, so that was her stanky ass pussy. Yo, you got the brand, she got the fishes,

y'all see? You know what I mean? Do you remember the bit as well? We're like, so slowly during the film, the Niro wins over around the Hathaway. Yeah.

First thing, look at that old man. Ew. he's got old face and old balls I don't like it here he's probably racist you but he slowly wins

or over he's almost like just kind of angel like he's just always right and he's always like very upbeat and pleasant

and friendly which is just so not what you're used to seeing from De Niro it should be like a I know he'd be like a happy guy I don't know

I can't think of a happy person right now Martin Short or Sheen yeah or Steve Martin? Literally anyone

like, yeah. It's just like, I just wake up every day. Even Pacino would work.

Pacino's kind of got the wacky quirchiness. If they play Pacino like an old hippie

yeah. Hey, Woodstock, wooah you know like that. But just just don't find the Niro's like

I wake up every day and just love life. Yeah. It's a happy day it's out. The birds are singing. The birds are singing

to go tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, and you like to go tweet, tweet, tweet, on the Twitter. You're tweeting on the Twitter? He keeps starting

into Jackie Mason. That's a good problem. The kids love Jackie. Big fan of Israel. Yeah, what my masonite, Sam. Remember the bit where Anne Hadoey is about to get in her car, right? Yes. But the narrow spots that the driver is just swigging like alcohol.

Yeah, he's just like drinking like a nag and a vodka. Like with a brown paper bag, it's very odd. With X, X, X, X, X, X, right? He's dressed as a limo driver, standing outside the limo just like swig in a bottle of Like, yeah, nobody can tell. Just a bottle of hooch, your moonshite. Robert De Niro with a 78-year-old, geezer eyes can spot it.

You know? Yes, he goes upside. But I like, it's not like, hey, buddy, why are you drink driving? You know, why are you swigging this? Like, not even hiding it. He's like, I tell you what, buddy. That's not good impression.

Hey, you're a pal. Yeah, De Niro, yeah. All right, buddy, yeah. It's me, Bobby De Niro. Get out of you's a car now there. Yeah, I believe. Lott You're bleeding

Locked So yeah But he's basically Hey Why don't you Go home I'll drive Yeah

Driver's like Hey you know what Thanks buddy I'm gonna go home And drink more Cheers Yeah yeah And then

I'm a raging alcohol The Niro Drives around Alright Yeah And she loves it And next day She's like

Can drive me again Yeah But then He goes to Anne Hattway's Apartment to Pick her up Right

And instead like Hey come up Eat Breakfast With us Yeah He's up there And he's basically Then

He becomes part of the family then And that's as far we got to. Okay, so you didn't finish it. We turned off because someone got a bit sleepy.

I did. You, and you kicked me out of your house? No, you want to leave. Did it? Yeah, I locked the door, remember? Oh. You went to go out to the window.

That's right, yeah, but then I snuck back into the window. Oh, ho ho. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't see the ending. I didn't see the ending. Neither did you. I like how you...

It's a nice change of pace. Like, 2023. Now we're going to talk about films that neither of us have watched. that's the new dynamic of the show well do you think any drama happened when we before probably like

because it kind of got the I got the sense that her and her husband were having some tension because you know she's like so workaholic and he's like you know oh and he's a workaholic

oh because he's he's bloody workaholic you're making connections right there yeah yeah but you know what I mean so there's probably some kind of there's no reward to me in that connection is there no there's not it's like oh I've cracked it

yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just take it out now. I imagine there'll be some, a pair of lips around this. On your wall, you have one piece of red tape going from workaholics to Ad Hadoe, but I, look. Somebody, please. But anyway, uh, well, we're at the hour. We need something to finish on. A little bit more, though, a little bit more.

Um, I just wish, like, there's a good movie in there. I kind of wished he made like an ex cop and he was a bit crazy and like, he put a gun and Hathaway's mouth and she loved it. It's very obvious that they're going for like very gentle comedy, feel good, uplifting movie. It's a crowd pleaser. You know what I mean? It's like there's like there's no any moment of tension is like, oh hey drunk driver. Don't worry, I'll drive. Oh okay. He's safe today again. Yeah. You know the bit in Fight Club where he puts the

gun in that guy's mouth? Yes. Yeah. If he did that with Anne Hadaway. Right. Just the middle of it and then went back to happy go lucky but there's one scene where you put in her mouth she's crying like you gotta respect Anders Moore he's no Blake Anderson all right treat him with respect or else it'll be game over man

You do a workaholics movie Is there? Yeah I'm sure I want to I mean I like workaholics But you know The movie's coming But they're in their 40s now That makes even better man

Yeah yeah There'll be in their 40s we can watch Jim, be like, you're still cool. Oh, yes. Sorry, yeah, yeah. I just got hit with a wave of sadness there. I'm fresh. No, I was just trying to think of that.

I'm fresh. You gotta be, gotta be fresh. Yeah, yeah. That's the intro music to work all of it. I know it, James. Do you? Because that was the gay test. You just failed, brother.

Now, suck my dick. I know, it's confusing, isn't it? I don't understand it myself, but hey, yeah, you got to play by the rules to get ahead. Anyway, yeah, so it's not really much to talk about. The story right now where someone threw a bag of dog shit, a politician. Yes. Well, it turns out that story might be false. You heard of this, by the way?

No. Oh, man, you loved it. So, I think her name is like Anne Rabbit or something like that? Yeah, she's like the minister for like disability. Disability, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, the story was, someone threw a bag of dog excrement at her. Yeah, from a free-legged dog, I heard, too. She's a minister of disability, yeah.

Okay, all right. You cut my benefits. Oh, man. I feel bad now. It's a very good joke, but if you were a political cartoonist, you can do gangbusters right now, because that's a very visual kind of joke, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I was just like, why would a dog have three legs? They normally have four. James has got mungle here. what do you think the odds of three legs don't you talk why do you like

the van and the only he feels and horses oh Jesus very good joke it's a fake story so it turns out at the moment

it seems like what happened is there was just a bag of shit in the room I'm not joking there's a bag of dog shit in the room like on the floor

right that someone left there she's like, get this out of here. Okay. And then she made up the whole story. Are you serious? Yeah. Fucking lying cunt.

And then she was like, and then she went to the papers. Yeah. And you know the papers, you know what they're like. Yeah. Yeah. They took the base. Confusing. Yeah.

I open it up. I try to read it. I don't understand the words. You know when you read the big papers. No, the pages fall out on the floor. Yeah, yeah. Why? You go to page three and there's no titch.

There's just an old man telling us the economy's fucked. So, all right, I'll try. I'll try and come to this. You read it'll be like, I'll have to pay more in gas bills. It's making me soft. Don't need me more soft. Where's Katie Price?

I heard she got her tits done again. That's a true story, by the way. Her tits are bigger than ever before. You have your finger on a pulse, don't you? It was Harvey's 21st birthday present. Someone threw a bag of dog shit at her tits. A bag of Harvey's shit at her tits. Anyway, we're going mental here.

Oh yeah, we are at the hour now. Okay, let's end it with Jeremy Renner. Thoughts and prayers to Jeremy Renner. Jeremy Renner, like, he got run over. Yeah, but it was a... I heard it was just a snowmobile. So here, it's weird, it evolved, all right? So, um, it starts...

I was just like if the two stories were merged. It's like, Jeremy Renner threw a bag of dog shit at me, and that's how he lost his leg. No, it's weird to evolve because it first came up, and read it, I saw him. Jeremy Renner hurts himself shoveling snow.

Yeah. I was like, what a pussy. Oh, he hurt himself. And he's like, he's in critical condition. I was like, what was he, Mr. Glass?

So what happened there? I thought he just fell over. He's like, he slipped or something. I thought he fell up like, oh, my shoe hurts. Oh, no. My foot probably hurts as well.

Oh, I got to go hospital. I was like these holly weirdos. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, he's in critical condition, a love and bleeding and shit like that. Yeah, I heard he lost a lot of blood. So, um, again, I heard he got run over

by a snow plow but in my head a snow plow is like as a bony or like one of those ride on tractors what Hank Hill drives all right

yes yes but a snow plow is a fucking tractor it's a big massive thing it's a Mr Plow basically and bigger right

and he's a Hollywood they showed the picture of what he has okay it's like the top of line the biggest one you can get the heaviest one

as well wow yeah the heaviest one you can get all right so what happens what's the one to most likely

kill me yes that's the one I want I'm into a very extreme form of self-harm you know I listen to My Chemical Romance and run myself over

with a snow plow. A black parade. But anyway, so, like, he was helping someone apparently. Okay. Somebody got trapped

because of the snowstorm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got out of that to help them. He got them out of wherever the fuck they were stuck in it, right?

Right. Things started moving. He ran towards it to try and hop on. To stop it. Yeah, but he got run over instead. Jesus.

It seems like his leg is fucked. He might keep it, but it won't be like, you know, he won't be doing much squats. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like. It's going to have to skip leg day in the gym. Yeah. So, it's weird. I like Renner. I like Renner

too. I like Renner a lot, because I heard a story a while ago where he put a gun to his head and say he was going to kill himself. If you, yeah, if the woman, if you leave me, I'll kill myself. I mean, that's a ball or move. Women respect that. I wish I had the balls to do that. Yeah, yeah. Not just women, though. Yeah. Anyone who gives

me, I can't disrespect. I mean, I did it once, but it was a super-soaker, so it didn't have the same dramatic weight to it. you know. Yeah. Full of piss, your own piss, you know.

Yeah, so he seems like he just tweeted there. Yeah. He's too fucked to like type, but he's alive anyway. Well,

that's good. Yeah, I like Renner. I like Raynor. He's in the mayor of Kingtown wherever the fuck down. Oh yeah,

I've heard, I've heard that's good. Paul Marge just recommended that to us. He's a detective who's sad or something like that. Is this? What do you mean?

I heard, is he a detective? What do you hear? Because I heard it's about it's about a town that has like loads of private prisons and his character is basically the guy who's like in control of all these prisons so he's

kind of there's corruption and stuff I don't know it could be you know it's funny yeah I just says about a detective I've no idea of it is or not it's about a detective who loses his leg after a snow plowing accident yeah he put a gun to his head as like told his snow plow if you leave me I'll kill myself. Yeah, it's a very, I just don't want to ever die in like a very funny way. Yes. I want to die in a really tragic way.

Yeah. Everyone's like, oh my God. What a legend. Yeah. You want to go out like in a blaze of glory. Oh, yeah, yeah. But you want to be the guy like dies and like, you know, some kind of like, yeah, he was hang gliding and he crashed into like, you know, the alligator store. Like something really silly like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I might have a store for that, you know. But you, you, you, you, want something kind of real tragic you know like like you know you were saving an orphan yeah and the mother started sucking you off she stuck me off too hard

my legs went weak and I fell over and got hit by a snowplow because like you know it does remind you of the Anton Yelchen thing where his car rolled back and crushed them that's kind of a silly way to go you know not to be mean here is signal blow jobs it's tall that's there

it's funny I just haven't told by this in ages I was with a girl ages ago I remember like I was standing up she's like you might sit down because I've heard my blow jobs are so good you won't be able to stand wow that was not a good blow job really yeah

wow yeah I was her mouse wrote a check that her mouth couldn't cash I was very much standing all right I wasn't even like I wasn't even like shifting my weight I was like yeah I was like I can I'm good here yeah you were reading a newspaper

the whole time like oh okay yeah there's a lot of girls out there that they think they're going to blow jobs. And they're not. And you know the way like you've driving lessons. Yes. Yeah. Twelve blow job lessons before they get their blowy license.

Oh man. Actually, speaking of blow jobs as well. Again, I'm a Christian now. Yeah, praise Jesus. I watched a crazy video. I'll show you one we're downstairs. Please do. It's a video of a mother and daughter.

Porn couple. Not real mother and daughter. Are you serious? You can look up their birth certificates. Oh! Yeah. You know I can't come unless I see those births search. These are some, this is some Jersey trash, man.

So it's the mother, the mother's a little bit bigger. And the daughter's real fucking, you know, Auschwitz looking, you know. Skinny. Real bony. See the rib cage, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So one's too big, little and large, you know, morkemawhis. Laurel and hard on.

Hey, there we go. Yeah, you got there. I set you up. You knock him out of park. Thank you. So they're there and you get interviewed this guy. And he's like, so your mother, daughter. Yeah, you guys, like, get into some shit, all right?

This is the background, the dad's like, oh, fuck him out. Just crying. Man, you're so funny. Honey, please, no. There's such trash, all right? It's probably me. That's my future. That's my future right there.

Darling, maybe please don't. Maybe. A 12-man gang bag doesn't really need to be that many. Surely 11s, a baker's dozen. It's a bit much for me. So, like, they're like, we ever, like, get on each other? Like, no, that's weird. But we did share each other's toys.

Oh. And the mother said, my daughter would always break the toys, which is like 14. She'd always break the vibrators. Wow. And daughter's like, yeah, you're going really hard on them. Whoa. Yeah. So then the guy is like, okay, let's start fucking.

The daughter undoes the whole belt with her teeth. Wow. Yeah. Even like the buckle, that's tricky. Like, there's like a tent to her tongue. Yeah. Graves her to like a dog or right with a shoe toy and pulls it like that. It's not the smoothest motion.

There's a lot of neck. There's a lot of neck. Give me a minute. It takes about 10 minutes. Yeah. Oh, fuck. She chips a tooth. Yeah, yeah.

I got to go dentists again. Happens every time. It did take it off, right? Then they start sucking them off together. right at one stage like oh it's so weird we almost kissed he's like

yeah well your mother was sucking his balls yeah and you're sucking his cock yeah wow and then he starts fucking the mother first

and the daughter goes underneath them with a camera oh very cubricesque yes like Paul Greengrass putting the ass in Paul green grass

like you're bloody sundae James Nesbitt's head just pops out of her cunt oh plish this will only Oh no please

The IRA This will be their biggest victory There's a priest waving a white flag How many civilians died That mother daughter gangbags I can't believe the news today Anyway So but then take turns

So the mother's filming The daughter's filming The mother getting railed Then they'd swap around Okay Jesus Then at the end Okay

They're all covered in jizz All right I kind of skipped in watch the whole thing it's like 40 minutes all right wow then at the end

they're all covered in jizz like that was crazy look there's all jizz on your tits and the door just starts rubbing her mother's tits be like look almost like

trying to get the jizz off okay look there's so much jiz on your tits we're so crazy wow what age is the daughter uh

I know 20 something I'd say yeah yeah and how's the mother looking you say she's a little hefty they're not looking great no yeah

these aren't like bodacious babes yeah these are But again, I watched this before I started getting Christians here. Yeah, this is what... This actually is one of the things turned me on. You know what? I don't think I can go any further without just getting...

Becoming a problem. Yeah, I need Jesus. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you know what? You don't know it. When you hit rock bottom, you can hear it. Yeah.

You can hear it. I mean, here's the thing. Here's the thought. Technically, Jesus, every time he masturbates, that's an active incest because he is the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost. Well, he doesn't masturbate James. Holy Trinity. He's just

jerking off. He's watching you jerk off to that shit and that's what he's jerking off to. And it's like, you know, incest, man. Yeah. I'm a bit tired now. Yeah. I kind of overdid myself with the incest talk. That was a lot there. Well, definitely show me the video.

I want to... I know. I want to go all Louis Theroux on this. No, you wouldn't like it now. Anyway. You'd be like, it's not right. The women's... It's a capitalist system forcing these women in these positions. Why are they smiling? and why are their hands not tied up? This isn't the stuff I usually like.

Anyway, so... We're well over the hour now, so it's... I'm actually on Instagram as you talk right now. You are, yes. What's Kevin Larnie doing? What is? I might text Larnie now and be like, Larnie. Let's hang out, bro.

Right now. Let's get some buds, bud lights. Let's eat two protein bars and not make eye contact. Yeah, yeah, and just do it. Make illegal U-turns all up and down the Ballymondro. I do like making new turns now I've done my new thing You know

Now I've got God on my side I can be a little bit adventurous Exactly I stop wearing condoms Who knows Yeah All right Any else

Any plans for next week James I'm gonna see Avatar You are I keep saying that You won't watch it with me I'll go watch it Yeah I'll if I pay for you to watch it

Okay I'll probably have to get you crisps as well Wouldn't I And popcorn And minst turtles I want Galaxy minstrels and a big old fanta orange

and a hot dog and then we're watching like Bra you want to piss right what you want you know what get the bottle pissing in you I'm not allowed to go by myself there's strangers in there

come on now take me yeah and then you get to see my cock but you keep your 3D glasses all it's like it looks even smaller than the frame rate of your cock is all wrong

anyway Yeah, Lockworth. James Cameron did not approve this. Actually, are we going way too fine? Oh my God, sorry guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I apologize. We've got to end this.

Let's end it. I got to take a pace as well. Yeah, all right. All right, look. That was it. Goodbye. Bye.