Episode 187 : Antman and the Quadriplegic
00:00free oneWe had a great timeThe last episodeWe're in my houseYesThere's good energy thereYou knowWhat do we talk about
00:05We talked aboutGolfOh yeahWe talked a lot about golfTom SeismoreYeahWhat did JesusI mean
00:11We are menI tell you thatWe're talking aboutJimmy CarterYeahYeahYou know that bitch stuffYou know
00:18Man shit like thatIt's the bro zoneSo JamesHow we been getting onWe had funI went to TescoThereYou kind of freaked me out
00:26We were drivingI didTwiceYeah I was drivingI was drivingI was likeOhYou freak me out
00:32You're like, dry, no!You remember you grab my headand push my head down your cock.It's safer down here, quick.Yeah, they can't breathalise youwith my cocks in your mouth.Okay, no, just blow on the penis thereand we'll be able to tell
00:50if you have been smoking the marijuana.But you were a little bit, you know,underdames to the wins.I was, just, you know, punk rock, dude.smoking a doobieand you're showing meyou got like thoseof burns in your bed
01:04not loadsthere's onethere's one cigarette burnand the dead ratyeahit's ratatooieyes that's rightno Patton Oswald
01:13hereso I'm doing goodI hadwe talk aboutin the Patreonhad a lot of showsover the weekendand now you're the yogurt
01:21you had a yogurtthat yogurtchanged my lifeby the waylike sometimesyou knowsometimes likeyogurt's better
01:27of pussy sometimesyou knowsometimesCome onPussy makes you sad sometimesYogurt never leavesYou don't get any granola clustersIf you're eating pussy
01:37At least you hope not anywayPussyYou know also wellYogurt just gets better and better with ageYou knowThat's rightSpeaking of yogurtPussy age like bread
01:50The Great Patrice O'NeilSo we have a lot of stuff talking about nowWe have white men can't drumJump jumpI keep saying grumpDrump.Drump.What's drunk?
02:02That is just, what is that now?What kind of special disability do I have?Yeah, yeah.White men can't drum.Yeah, so it's white men can't jump.Yes.Star Trek.Yeah.
02:13Fish Tank.Right.And something else I watched as well.So, oh, I watched me before you.We talk about that first.All right.I also watch a lot of stuff there.I also watch Pet Cemetery.
02:24Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Loads of talk about it.I haven't seen any of the, I've seen Fish Tank.actually.Yeah,we'll get to save thatfor you lastbecause that's
02:32your kind ofmovie,isn't it?What,a good movie?It's alegit good movie.You're big freak
02:37yeah.A point witha watch list now.It's kitchensink pussybrother.Get thatKen Loach pussy.
02:47Yeah,that's right.So,me before you,it's basedon the best-sellingnovel and itstars the
02:54nearest TargaryeniaAmelia Clark.Who hashad like ninebrainaneurysms.Yes.She did more brain aneurysms
03:02and fuckingTom Seismore.And Frankie Munez combined.Like, put thosetwo together.A crackhead and aNASCAR driver.Yeah,
03:11Jesus Christ.Yeah, she's had a lotof like brain aneurysms.She literally doesn't knowwho she is.Right.Still.Yeah.
03:19Is that,she learns all the linesphonetically.She's basically a monkey.Just feed her bananas.Yeah,but.Fucking hell.
03:28So, look, thisis a story aboutso it starts offit's Amelia Clarktrying to doBridget Jonesbasicallywhere I'll just
03:36say thisnow Amelia Clarkdoes seemvery nicein interviews and stuffand she wasalrightand like you know
03:44Game of ThronesbutoverallI would saynot a particularlygood actorI would sayI would go so far
03:51to saylimited rangeyesif I may be so boldyesI'll probably get shotfor abefore I get cancelled
03:57a thingoh ohUnbelievable. I just thinkshe's done a lot of rage.Without a rage, you know.So she's trying to do Bridget Jonesthis movie, Me Before You.Right.
04:08Where she's like this kind of lovable, hapless woman.She's got like bad posture.She's always squinting.Oh, yeah, yeah. She's so goofy, isn't she?Amelia Clark.And she's trying to get a job.And like, how did the job go in the bakery?Oh, I kept slipping on all the jam.
04:23Oh.Yeah.What about the chicken factory?Oh, all the feathers went to my man.all this funny stufflike literally everywhat's the difference between chicken and jamI got chicken my cock up your age
04:38yeah he's backsee now that'sthat's the character you needlike a T.J. Miller typeis like the wacky brotherher wacky brother you knowthat'll be great nowsomeday man someday you'll be Amelia Clark's brother
04:53whether she likes her or notso she has a boyfriend thoughBoyfriend, I did not care for this nowThe boyfriend, skinny, glasses, nerd, all right?Oh, and is he toxic?Is he controlling and...No, the opposite. He's a distant.Because he's like, let's watch foreign films.
05:14He's like, oh, can we just watch Ant Man?Ant Man and the Wasp. Come on.Yeah.It's double your money.It's a creature feature.He's like, you know, oh, babe, we watched 14 foreign films in a row.I'm a bit tired of subtitles.Just want to watch, you know,
05:29can we just watch the footy for wads?Then she starts crying and locked herself in the bathroom.Right.She's like, you know, he's a beast.Yeah.No, but he's just a very kind of effeminate,kind of like lazy boyfriend.He doesn't bring her to Paris every week, you know.
05:44Oh, okay.A real asshole.Yeah, yeah, yeah.And again, she is like lovable, everything goes wrong.So even like, you know, she sits down,her dress just rips for no reason.She's like, oh, no.and like if she has a tea
05:58a cup of teayou know for a factshe's slipping a bananayou know it's that kind ofit's like that kind of vibeall rightyeahyeah everything could go wrong
06:05but she gets a jobso there's like a comedyis itoh yeah yeahso here's the thingthey're likeokay didn't you work wellin the biscuit factory
06:12yeahand it didn't go wellin the in Greggsyeahso how abouthave any experiencelooking afterquadriplegics
06:19she's likeoh I don't what did I even meanwhoopstoday is itis that like a fogshe canMichael's having.Oh yeah,
06:28I might have seen one of those in thebakery.Yeah.So, like,you know what?Because you've failedeverything else,you're now looking after
06:34a quadriplegic.Yeah.A rich,handsome quadriplegic.Right.A quaddi.To be honest,the thing is,
06:41she's so accident-proneand clumsy.There's nothing moreelse that could happento this guy.Yeah.She could, like,drop him down a flight of stairs.
06:49He wouldn't be any different,you know?He must be so annoying for him.So Sam Cafflinplays the quadriplegic.Right.So nine for himbecause he just keeps
06:55in her phoneover the place and getting back up and he's like,I fell down one time.Yeah. One time I fell on the stairs. Now, look.Is that what happened he fell down the stairs? No, actually, no. So the showhim at the start, he's like this Latariokind of George Clooney type, you know?Right. Banging chicks, riding
07:09motorcycles, drinking coffee, everything,all right? And then I think he gets hitby a bus or something. Okay.And then he's like, quads. A bus full of poor people.Ah, the cruel ironyof it. Dignity.So he's all disabled now. I thinkCharles Dance.
07:25plays his fatherand another girlfrom Game of Thronesplays like his sisterit's the girlthe really hot girlyou know the hot girl in Game of ThronesSophie Turner
07:38wait no I think she'stoo young JamesNo she's in her 20sOh no I'm talkingNo no noShe played Sansa you knowThat one the ginger oneNo no no
07:50No I mean no not back when she was a childI meant on the show JamesOh right right rightLet's not go into this any further.You have a bran.What you then? Which one?I can't give her name now.I'll get her up for you if I must.
08:07But just before you do that, Google Sophie Turner's aid.I'm pretty sure I'm in the right.No, no, no.I'm fine here.Let's say you're right and let's move on real quick.Okay, okay.Yeah, me before you.So anyway, she gets to say, so Sam Cafflin is the guy.
08:22And he's a real downer.he's likeoh yeahlife's great in it27okay wow27 Brianshe's an old hag
08:34it's actually disgustingshe's basically the same ageas fucking Charles Danzanywaysorry what were you sayingI didn't hear that last thingyou said I was too busyexonerating myself
08:47you know what's funny as welldoes know the girlfrom Game of Thronesin thisI justfucked up there, my bad.How, oh my God, tables have turned.For a minute you're a P-Doh and I was right.
09:00And that was all switched.Yeah, the old Captain Switcheroo, like Ocean's Eleven.I'm just walking out of the casino.I'm in jail with John Don Cheadle.Oh, we're in a bit of Barney here, Ledge.Barney Rabble, Trouble.Anyway, I'm a Dutch.Yeah.
09:24I'm a ponsYeah, puns, nonceIt's Cockney Ryman's SlashIt's Pito Ryman's slagWe got our own slackWe doApples and pearsThey actually do, though
09:37Like chicken hawkOh, that's like I think we're switching againAll right, yeahApples and pearsThat means a six-year-oldOhSo he's a real downer as my pointokay and she's a real like you know
09:54oh let's go outsideoutside yeah what we're going to do walk aroundyeah you knowI've got to bought you a new pogo stickcheer up a bit come on let's goso she falls in love with himand he's just a damn him or his moneywell I don't know about that
10:13don't be cynical all righthow did he get his money why is he richfamily all right old moneyold money yeah so he's real richI'm surprised those old money families wouldlet him, you know, pretty fat, they're big fans of eugenics, those people.That's an interesting thing, okay?So she's working, you know, cleaning up dusting, whatever like that, okay?
10:31Yeah.She hears Charles Dance be like, it's been six months and you're still not walking.Yeah.I say we go dignitas.Wow.Yeah.That's like euthanasia?Utenasia in Sweden.
10:41Yeah.Sweet.That's awesome.So it turns out Sam Cafflin, he's up for this.Yeah.Sure.So now it's a race against time.So this lovable dame has to teach his quadriple.
10:53how amazing life iswhile her boyfriend's likehello you want to hang outshe's like I don't have timeand then she's bringing themor wheeling him around okayI've got us tickets to the premiereof that man quantum media
11:06come onthey go towhat is it some fuckingthe quantum realmno act like you don't knowthey meet Kang the Conqueroryeahthey be Kang the Conqueror
11:17Emilia Clarke come onso thenbut then I think something goes wrongwhere she she breaks upthe boyfriend, she feels sad.And when she feels sad,Sam Cafflin starts to feelnot happy, but starts to cheer up
11:30to try and cheer her up. Oh, I see.Trying to teach her the meaning of life.Oh my God. So this lad'sa quadriplegic and he's all forassisted suicide. But this fuckingmelt comes inall, yeah, da, de, yeah.She has one bad day and now he's got to
11:46cheer her up. Yeah, yeah. Fuck me.So she's got to carry his broadso they'll drive you a wacky. He's got likewheel her around so she's likeshe's on his lapgoing like I'm too sad to walkhe got likebring her to Teskel
12:01so eventuallyI think she's afraid to swimwell yeah she can't swimand he's like you gotta learn how to swimthen she does swimand then the next day goes to Swedenand kills himselfoh he does
12:18yeah he does do they ever bangno I don't think soshe shaves him onceon top of him, like.I know, yeah, he is quadriplegic, but don't some...I think the penis can still work.Yes, I've heard that.Especially he's...
12:30And I've seen it.Paid good money to see it.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I went to New York.I tell you, I'll just say this.The security in Monaghan County General HospitalI'm very lax it is, you know.Slipper's like, do what you want.
12:45I don't care.The government shut these shit down 10 years ago.Why the fuck I still here?Anyway.That's my impression of my mother who works in Monaghan County General Hospital.Well, it's actually a commentary on the government has failed these local hospitals.Yeah, sure it is, buddy, sure it is.It's an indictment of Varadgar.
13:06And Bertie, Bertie Huron's back.Bertie's back in a big way.You know, all these people are like, oh, Bertie couldn't become president.He definitely could.Yeah.People are, Irish people are so forgiving.As long as you're not like gay or anything, we'll put up on anything.Yeah, that's true.
13:21Yeah, so I think he could very.very well. There could be a Bertieversus Jerry election. Thinkabout that. Jerry who?Who do you think?Adams? Yeah, of course. Yeah.It's Jerry Adams? I thought he was out of the politicsgame. He might come back to be president though. Oh, okay.
13:37That'd be pretty cool. That would be good.Yeah, that'd be great banter. I'd like to see Jerry Adamsas president. That'd be pretty sweet.Yeah, and United Ireland.Yeah, yeah. No quadruplectic's allowed.And instead of like bringing a dog everywhere for photo shoots,she just has a Protestant on a leashin colour. Ah, come on now
13:54do your business there in PhoenixPark, let's go. Come onAloysius, let's go. Here wego now. I got youthe good pedigree chum today.I'm in a good mood.So anyway, he kills himself.So he kills himself. The Baudrepeed kills
14:11himself. Well, he doesn't. He payssome Swedes to do it. He does, yeah.Some IKEA people to do it, right?But then she's sad,Amelia Clark. She gets a letterthat says, you know, dance likenobody's watching. Live your lifeto the max, you know? Turn
14:26that frown up, like that, all that kind of basic shit.Did he give her any money? Live, laugh, learn.No money. Live, laugh, learn.And then she's happy, and then she goes to Paris.What about the nerd?Oh, he's stuck wanking overthe footy, you know?Just wanking over Wayne Rooney, like a fucking loser.
14:44Alan Shearer.You know what?The quadriplegia cripples better off.you that now.Now, I'd like to seeAnt-Man and thequadriplegic realm.That'd be good.
14:58The quadriplegic realm.Yeah, yeah.Just Paul Rod running around.Just a bunch of Stephen Hawkinseverywhere.Yeah.It got a lot of controversyhis film because
15:10the happy ending for the guyshe killed himself.Oh, I see.It wasn't like, you know, he learnedto, he was stronger.Yeah.Or like he beat, you know, beats himin the crossword competition or something like that.
15:20No, he was just like, you know what?Killed himself.You know, a little message for everyone there.You're a bird on your family.Do what I do.Yeah.Do what's right.Even if you're dyslexic, do what I do.
15:31That's the whole, like, right-to-dive movement, you know?Well, they're saying it's going to become the Church of Death.Oh, really?That's what they say.Isn't that, you know, all churches are kind of churches of death, though, funerals and whatnot?I listen to a lot of conservatives of people.Okay.For fun.
15:47Yeah.Who say, like, there's going to be a culture of suicide.suicide and I want, it's to kill all white males.Oh, okay. Yeah, that's it, yeah.Right on. Well.That's what they're saying there.So you better watch, because we're the whitest most male men in the world.There's no more manly. I've got testosterone coming out.
16:06Coming out of my pussy.Yeah, yeah. I got testosterone secreting from my ovaries on a near daily basis.I got tea coming out of my tits.Yeah, that's right, baby.Yeah, well, I mean,the suicide ratesare always getting increasingthey're getting higher and higher
16:24Of course they areLife is awfulAnd the world is horribleWait hold that tallBecause I did watch white men can't jumpOh on the backHeyI'm stepping off the stool
16:36And into the living roomTo watchWoody HarrelsonAnd Wesley SnipesAnd Rosie PerezOh my GodShe is hot in this film manI kind of forgot how hot she was
16:47She got lovely titsReally?Yeah, Rosie Perez, great titties.She's in, uh, do the right thing.Do you know, right?Her tits in that, remember that?Yeah, yeah, yeah.So, this okay.
16:58Which one is she banging in, uh...Well, let me tell you.So, starts off, you think this bumpkin,because you know what you're very racially biased, James.Yes.It's L.A.They're all playing basketball, right?This one bumpkin looking freak.
17:11This haysees.Yeah, it's like, walk around and be like,Well, howdy, partner?You're playing some baseball.He's basically like that.He's holding the Johnny Cashrecord walk aroundoh gee watch this
17:22basketball gameoh I'm scaredand they're all likeyou get out hereBrady Bunchyeah you got fuck offsuck a dick Brady Brunchhe's like
17:31I want a little gameall rightbut then you knowhe gets the balland he gets it in the nethe's as good as Jonah Hillyeah exactlythis exact scene happened
17:42in that movie you peopleyeahyeah yeah fat smellyJonah Hill was betterin basketballall the other peopleuntil Jonah Hill wrote thatand then he needed
17:54CGI to pull it offOh my God, do you remember that as wellHe's actually, you peopleThat movie Jonah HillHe doesn't kiss that girlThat's CGIThat's the CGIWhy is that?
18:04I think she was likeThe fuckReally?Look how smelly he looksLook at thatWhatThe way he looks in that filmHe's disgusting in that
18:15He's got the long hairIt's the bleached long hairAnd the beardand the Hawaiian shirt and the tattoos.Yeah.The fuck was that.Talking about duck culture.Yeah.
18:25I'm sure that girl was sickened by that.She used to date Nipsey Hustle.Now she's fucking kissing Jonah Hill.Yeah.It's a good thing Nipsey Hustle's deadbecause, you know,nobody should have to see that.See your girl
18:38kissing on Jonah Hill,kissing on him and touching his bodyand whatnot.So White Men Can't Jump starts off with that.They're like,yo, you can't beat us, Brady Bunch.He's like, I'll show you.Does they call him anything other than Brady?
18:51They do, yeah, yeah.Honky, Cracker, you name it, all right?All those horrible, horrible terms that we've thankfully removed from the history books.That's right.Evil.That's why they're another altering role dolls work recently.Oh, yeah.Because there was like all the honkies.
19:07Upa Lumpas are called the honkies.All the Vietnamese honkeys.So he beats him and Wesley Snipes like, oh, white boy can jump.Yeah.So he goes to.find Woody Harrelsonbecause he's got a little deal. So he's likeWoody Harrelson, that's his job. A
19:24failed college prospect.Now he goes around making moneyhustling games. He's a ringer.Is that what they're called? Well, no, not even that really.He looks bad at a start.And they're like, you know, he's like, well, why don't we put$50 on it? Shark is how to callhim? I don't know the term. They call him something.
19:40I'm sure to do. They call himBrady Bunch, all right? Sohe's like, oh, let's put $50 onit. Like, yeah, you, what?easiest money ever made white boythen they loseand the white man winsthat's right
19:54and then they're likehe has no problemcollecting on the debtbecause this is Hollywoodrememberwackywacky stories made up inHollywood
20:04that's James not mebutmy point is like he beats himbut Wesley Snipes goes tofollowswhat's his nameWoody Harrelson homeWoody Harrelson's dating
20:15Rosie Perezher tits are sojiggly.Really?Yeah,yeah, she's jiggly.Does she get them out?Not fully.
20:23There's bits where they're kind ofside view.Oh, yeah.You know what sort of thing I love now?When a girl's putting on her jeansand she's wiggling,you know, she's kind of wiggling,getting them up and everything's shaking,
20:34you know, like an earthquake.That's good now.Yeah, women getting dressed,I like that.I don't like the other one, though.It's like, when a woman puts on a bigovercoat and a burlap sack,ooh, that gets me all.
20:48The big hat as well, bigger, bigger hat, two hats, three hats, five burghers, let's go.Yeah.In the middle of the summer as well.You watch the, like, do not, try not to come compilations on you porn.It's like, oh, what another burqa, no way.Oh, speaking of porn, actually, I watched a great video there of a guy, it was a cooking porn.Right.Not cooking.
21:17Cooking.Yeah, so this guyHis girlfriend was getting fucked by his big black guyHe's a whiteKind of like white men can't jump in a wayBut not reallySo, but he starts cryingThe white guy starts crying
21:31Yeah, he's like, stop thisI don't like this anymoreShe's like, come onIt was your ideaHe's like, that's greatNo, stop it now, stop itAnd then like they show upThey kind of speed it up
21:40Them talkingYeahThen they go againThis time they were kind of fucking her togetherAnd he's likeI can't get hardit's not goodno one likes this
21:50was thisit was a black guyit's like it's notI'm not angry at you mandon't worryit's a black guyit's like it's not your faultbetween me and her
21:58wowis it amateur levelamateur yeahoh wowso it was realoh it's realyou can't fake those tearsthat's awesome
22:05I love seeing a white boy cryyeahyeahwas she loving itwas she loving the big black cockI think she was tryingto pretend like she wasn't loving itoh sure
22:13oh godisn't you holding a laughin schoolyou know you're getting fucked in schooloh boy do I yesall boys Catholic schooland Monaghan you better believeI know
22:27yeahbut anywayso he goes to meso Rosie Perez isWoody Harleson's girlfriendand they just travel aroundmaking moneyand sometimes like they make
22:36you know $50 a daysometimes $60 a daythey're they can live like kingsin Los Angelesyeah yeahthey can basically buy an NBA teamThey're making so much money, right?But Wesley Snipes says
22:50you're small scale.I respect to hustle,but we need to work together.Okay.And we can do some real good hustling then, you know?Right.And then they agree.Oh, by the way,
23:00this is important later on.Rosie Perez is studying everything.Studying everything?Everything?Because she wants to win Jeopardy.Oh.So she's studying.She's also,
23:11Woody Harlinson's playing basketball.Right.Rosie Perez is a home learning history.geography, mats.She wants to go on Jeopardy.Yeah, sports knowledge, everything.While drinking.Oh, she drinks?
23:23She drinks vodka and reads a book about, you know, world history.Is it, is she like a fun vodka drinker?Oh, fun, yeah, yeah, yeah.And she's so good in this because she's always like,yo, what's fuck?I want to fuck.And Woody House, like, no, baby, I got to go play basketball.Where's these snipes?
23:38I can't have shit drinking right now.Rose of Brades.Yeah.You got some of my.dear by what wayrosy parrishbushysupposed to smell
23:50I'm sorryMartyit's just meWesley SnatYou don't cut into the man's lawnThe IRSIs just a flat circleWhich by the way
24:04My roommate was watchingTrue Detectives thereLike I walked in GermanyI was likeGod this is a good showSeason oneNo twoNo one
24:13YeahIt is fun manIt's greatNo it islegit great. Woody Harlson's great in it, by the way.He's amazing. Like, you know, McCona gets all theparodies and all that, you know, time, theflat circle, you know, it's very easy to do.
24:24It's very easy to parody and... Yeah, yeah.And there was a lot of parodies made of it, but WoodyHaraldson's great. Like, the bit, like, the only way he cuts his lawn.Yeah. Like, Woody Haraldson's sogood, like, they're kind of pent up, like, anger,but almost, like,a very impotent, kind of, like, small dick.Like, he, he conveys
24:40small dick anger. Yeah.Better than even me.the bit where he bursts in onAlexander de Dario banging that dudehe's likeDid she shut your dickOnly a little bitIt's fucking so funny
24:58It's like hilariousIt's so goodI wish it just ended thereAnd that was itLike this is perfect thingYeahThere's some great stuff in itWe should
25:07You know do like an episode about itBecause then we'reHonestly I would have done itThis week I was thinking about watching itLet's do it.We'll do that.Would you like to do that?Yeah.
25:16Would you make me the happiest man in the world?Man, I'll blow your mind with some shit.You ain't even ready for it.Oh, the fucking, what's it called?What's the thing you love, the book about the...That I love, that I know about it.Well, basically, you know, the story in True Detective is, it mirrors the Franklin Scan.Franklin Scan.
25:38Oh, yeah, baby.Lay it down.But then there's also comparisons to...to the British show Red Ridingand then there was some plagiarismfrom some sci-fi booksand Alan Moore and Grant Morrisonthere's a lot of stuff to cover
25:50but yeahbut overallI still do really enjoySeason 1 True Detectiveit is greatinsanely entertainingalso because I watch itwhen it came out basically
25:59but a bit derivativenow that I'm olderlike I know about Shea Wiggum nowyeahso now my life is very very differentI was going to watch this week actuallyit's just I waskind of like
26:09you know not to get too into my personal lifebut there might be a lazyin the picture nowWell I'll tell her straight upI'm like honeyYou don't get between meAnd my true detectivesAll right
26:18Me and JamesWe're wearing a pyjamasWe're watching true detectives togetherYeahWe're uh you knowWe're dressing upYou know like Woody Harleston near the endYeah
26:28We're dressing a cosplay as thatDrinking BudsI am CarcotiaThe Yellow KingYeahI would have watched itI got distracted by the NBAAll-Star game
26:39Ohdear GodJust a real cavalcade ofsilliness.Yeah.There's nojeopardy in it at all.It's just them all
26:45having fun.So they havethe all-star celebritygame first withGiro Mo andfucking you know.Yeah, who elsewas on it?
26:52Any other...You know the black girlfrom a glass onion?The main girl.Yes.Yeah, yes.My God.She wore a dress.
27:01Really?Fucking hell,really.I'll show it if you wantYeah.Yeah, I'll tell you.Do it.Yeah.
27:06Yeah, come on.A picture of a woman.Oh, dude.we're definitely gettingK-insultwe're going onGoogle Images dogshit's popping dog
27:19it's fireyeah this is awesome right herecouldn't get awaywe just on your podcastmore are we talking aboutwhite men can't jumpyeahbefore that thought
27:26the all-star gameI was alsoa bit of troublewith the all-star gamebecause they hadCarl Malonehe fucked a 13 year oldoh
27:34so people are a bit likeyou knowwhat age was helike 21 or somethingoh there she's therelook atholy Godlook at
27:42that. It's a mental looking thing.That is a well-proportioned lady,I'd tell you. Yeah, I'd tell you now.Whoa. Oh, yeah.Damn. Did we talk aboutRihanna on the...Did we talk about that last week? We did, yeah, a little bit, yeah.She's pregnant. She's pregnant.
27:58That was entertaining. Disgusting.So anyway, Carl Malone, he fucked a girlwhen she was 13.Wait, is Carl Malone the one that...Did one of the jimmies do a...Yeah, the blackface? Yeah, yeah, yeah.Kimmel?It was Kimmel.
28:12Yes, yes, yes, okay.They find both Jimmy's did blackface.They both did black face.One did Carmelone, one did Chris Rock.Yeah, one did of an acquaintance.I mean, Jimmy Fallon and Chris Rock probably knew each other pretty well.Yeah, they definitely did, yeah.I'm sure Caramelone's a good hang as well, you know?
28:29Probably.He brings the ladies in, you know?So he fucked the girl, and the parents were like, you know what,we're not going to press charges because he's going to be a big NBA star.Okay.So we'll make more money off him.And what? So they've beenThey've been juicing them?
28:43No, just like, yeah, you're right, it's all a scam.Yeah, yeah, yeah.You're right, you're pro Carmelon.You're pro Carmelon.But Caramelon kind of kept a low profile after his NBA career.But he popped up there.And he was taking pictures with LeBron and stuff.And people were like, this is a bit.
28:57Was he a good player, yeah?He's the third all-time scoring leader.Oh, wow, okay.So it's him, Karim and LeBron.That's pretty good, isn't it?Yeah, yeah, yeah.Pretty good now.You got one 13-year-old trying to ruin it on him.
29:10typical he seems like a pretty bad person in general though like he's had a lot of kids and he's always like you want my kidand they're like no i am when he's like well maybe you are but i guy ain't got time for this yeah yeah but introduce me toyou're a friend yeah dad no and he's giving loads of money to like bush and trump and all that yeah yeah he'sconservative yeah he's more than you think nothing cooler than that my friend they are pretty coolnow i've seen it especially the ones that get away with banging childrenWell, but play basketball.Yeah.This guy knows how to party.
29:44So I watched the All-Star game.Again, it's just basically like a charity thing.Like, there's no, like, jeopardy.It's just people to have fun for a bit.There's no stakes.Right, white men can't jump.There's stakes in this.So they start doing this good hustle then where Wesley Snipes,
29:59we play in one-on-one with someone.Right.And he'd be like, you know, okay, let's do two-on-two, let's say.Yeah.And they're like, okay, but you've got to play a white guy over there.And they'll have, like, you know,you know what he has eating pizza in the corner be likeme reading a book that says basketball for dummies
30:15you knowibonics for dummiesyeah and he's like well what do I do with the ballthat but then start bouncing and he starts doing well okayand they're making serious money of thisbut they start getting in trouble with like you knowa lot of guys aren't too happy about you knowlosing money sure to uh yeah that's uh that'll give fellas
30:34the ick and also we find outWoody's kind of on the run from these two Italian mobstersOh, a couple of ditties.Hey, you, what's the money?Oh.He's the white guy who plays the moly bowl.All right.He tried to challenge the Italians to basketball.
30:49Like, no.We're not doing this.Yeah.Give me the fucking money.Were there any, like, did you recognize the gang, the Italians?No, no, no, no.Usually you get like a...They usually get the usual suspects, you know, in terms like, you know...
31:02Yeah.You know, it's something...Big pussy bump and Sarah.You know, like, what's the, you know the Hugh Grant movie where he plays a gangster?Mickey Blue EyesYeah, like you havebasically allDispranhas
31:11and that as wellLike it's justYou knowIt's easy to get them thereI meanThat's pretty sweet workLike just like show upBe a stereotype
31:19YeahGet paid and go aheadIt's not even hardIt's like ohThat's all you needYou knowOhI didn't even know
31:26You were rolling on thatOh greatCut in printIt's not exactly ShakespeareYou knowYeahBut anywaySo it's going on well
31:32And then Rosie PerezGet JeopardyOh shit okayShe doesAnd at first it's like hardIt's all sportsquestions. Alex Trebek, is it? Trebeck's thereman, yeah. And he's like a Latino
31:43on Jeopardy.It's the first time for everything.Seventh sign of theapocalypse, baby. Now get ready for a cock in lips.No, Alex Trebek, don't put your penis on mymouth. We're on television.I don't care, baby. Come on, Parage.Speaking to the mic.
32:04This is a very... I don't thinkI'm portraying myself well.in this episode.I may be coming offkind of weird.Anyway.I know,it's just deep-seated resentment
32:17against Alexfor a Beck,that's all it.I bring up AlexI know what I'm expectingright there.Yeah,yeah, fuck her.
32:26Yeah, okay,so she's on Jeopardy.So at first she fucks uplike she saysBabe Roo plays basketball.Okay.Like that level, okay?Right.
32:33Then they ask hera list offood that startswith the letter Qand she gets them all right.and she wins like 1,700Is that all?Yeah
32:44Well she failed most of itAlrightOhBut she'd go with the Q questionShe walks away with $1,700YeahThat's dog shitI mean like fucking
32:52What an idiotThey're living in the shack basicallyThey're living onThey're living on fucking $50 a dayYou knowYeah yeahSo then but then hereBut then like
33:01They're all celebratingWoody Harleson's likeWe can double this moneyAnd she's likeI know can't doOh if you leave meNo wayIf you spend a...
33:09Oh, come on.We send me a rosette at a parade.I'm with the house, son.No, she's like,oh, if you, you spend that money,I'm leaving your ass, all right?And he's like, I guarantee we're going to win this,okay?
33:20I guarantee.Yeah.But then, um...Put your tiddish away and let's play some ball.Come on.So then him and Wesley Snipes play the big ball game.Yeah.Against these two real tough gangsters, all right?
33:34Right. And then they beat him.And they double the money.Oh, sweet.They're celebrating, and then they come home.She's gone.she left because it's the moral you know right like you can't that's a red flag oh if you're if you'relike boyfriend keep money on basketball games with wesley snipes yeah then like that's a sign you can'tbe trusted then he keeps the money and you don't have to give her any well here's oh here's another thing
33:57okay so i fell for this by the way this is a good scene okay oh so they got the money okaylike hey at least i got the money you know but then these two italian gangsters show up like hey it's youagain where's the money ahthere it is and then have the gun toWoody Harleason's headthe next scene is Woody Harle's on the groundcovered in blood deadoh right and I was like Jesus Christ has got
34:18dark but then he see a picture takenand Woody's like you get thatand it turns out the Italian guysjust want to take a picture of Woody Harleson's deadbody to prove to othergangsters how serious they areoh pretty dumbit's pretty silly actually yeah
34:33yeah actually you're rightThat's pretty stupid, isn't it?I mean, it's a comedy, I guess.Oh, my God.Yeah.I feel like, you know, when Scientologistlearned about Zinu.The veil has been removed.
34:49We've always spent so much moneyon white men can't jump.I can't go back now.You have points on the back endfor the remake.I'm very disassociated for my family.It's like, I'm a white men can't jump guy.Here's, was there any
35:02NBA star cameos?None.Oh, none.So it ends with them likeNobody has feels sadRightBut then he's playing basketballWesley Snipes
35:10OkayAnd they have fun playing basketballJust for freeNo moneyAnd they learn thatThere's something more importantThan moneyOr like Latino titties
35:18YeahAnd it's friendshipRight okayWith a black manYeahTry to pay yourTry to pay your electricity billWith friendship
35:28From Wesley SnipesYeah exactlyJesusAnd that's the end of the movieRight thereOkayAnd more stuff happenedbut it's a lot of basketball I've said
35:36I'm looking out for thisa lot of big big shotsof Woody Harlesonputting the ball in the netall right so he can ballno doubles or nothingright on and there's noit's one shot by the way
35:47where like he throws it upand he goes the netand it was like a back of the head shotand I was like okaythat's maybe like a fakeand he turns aroundit's him all one shotand he's doing lots of good ball
35:57in it by the wayhe looks better than Wesley Snipesreally?Yeah I mean he wasI probably still ismaybe but likehe's the athletic guyYeah
36:06Big strappingMuscleboundCorn-fedWhite manI tell youWesley Snipes is very funny in thisLike he'll let him be likeOkay
36:16I'm whiteYou know doing like thatOhOh no I don't care for thatActuallyJust hatefulYeah JamesThere's a time in a place
36:26AlrightThat's what he's just likeOh helloI'm whiteYou're likeJust get off himOfficerofficer
36:34I feel unsafeget George Zimmermanquicknowhatwhatyeahyeah
36:45we'reoh whatwe are funwhy you gottayou're rightI ruin your bossyou're necked me thereyou're pulled
36:52upFreudian slipso he's gotlikewell as he snipshis goesmy pointhe's directed by a guy
37:02his name'slike Ron, not Mark Furman.You know, like, it's like,it's like, the poor box officereturn is what, uh,I'm going to become a cop.A cool cop.That tape they played in the OJKS
37:17was just the DVD commentaryof white men catch up.No, it's like, I think like BillFurman, I think. Okay, right.And he has done a lot of sports movies.Most of them you haven't heard of.But he did one call. You ever hear Bill Dernham?Yeah, Bill Dernham.
37:33Yeah, people love this movieKevin Costner? Kevin Costner.But I don't know, it's actually based on the director'sreal life story. He used to be a baseball player.Oh. And like a shitty baseball team.Right. He quit. Well, maybe retired, I don't know.And wrote a script and that was his first movie right there.That's pretty cool. People say it's a great movie.
37:50It's a...Costner and Susan Sarandon.Oh. Yeah, and he plays like a baseball player.I think he starts fucking owner's wife or something.The baseball team's owner's owner's like,Yeah, so I'm playing baseball, but the owner hates me because I'mbang and his wife.That's cool.
38:05I love that.She was just like,just a real bad baseball player.And the wife,like, hey,one interaction with the wifeand she's like,get away from me.
38:13And he's like,oh, well,time to write my screenplay.Ah, yes.Inspiration.My muse, my flame.Yeah,he's never actually got pussy once of us.
38:26And then, like,I looked up the rest of his homography.It's all dog shit.Really?It's all stuff you never heard of before.Like,what?You'd be surprised,
38:32but I heard of.contest, yeah? This is my newcontest. It's like, the MarkFurman, no, the bill...Cadden's going to take the MarkFurman test. Oh, I've beenpreparing for it all my life.I've walked around Inglewood,
38:47get ready.So, anyway, the reason I watch this is because of thenew white men can't jump coming out.Right. With Mr. Jack Harlow.Yeah. People call him the golden boy.Why? Because he's just pure, goodenergy. Okay. For now.He wasn't very good on
39:03SNL, so.I win.Well, like, yeah, he's a music,like a rapper. Has he done much acting?No, none. Oh, yeah, his name is Ron Sheldon.Ron Shelton.Yeah.Yeah, that's different to what you said.
39:19Yeah, very, very different.So let's just see her now. He's done loads of movies.We're going to have to edit out all the Mark Furman jokesbecause they don't make sense now.Oh, he did blue chips.I've heard of that.He did Cobb.He did Cobb.
39:30Hey, this guy's got a good little.Yeah.So, listen this, some great sports movies there.Blue Chips, by the way, it's not amazing, but it's pretty funny.What is it?It's, um, you like, I say this like it's a bad thing.It's Nick Noltey.Yeah.
39:44He plays like a sports agent, all right?Right.But it's got a young appearance, like, it's Ed O'Neill and Shaq.Oh.Really young, like 17-year-old Shaq.That's awesome.So basically the whole plot is he's like a sports agent who finds a 17-year-old and it'sShaq.
39:57And does Shaq have like a much of a role in the fellow?Yeah, he's one of the main leads in it.Whoa.Yeah.Him.I didn't realize he was famous at 17.Man, he was famous from college.So people, before he even joined up with NBA, people were like, this guy's going to be a big massive star.
40:13Yeah.And it's also got, I think, Larry Bird is in it as well.Okay.Yeah.It's live action space chat.Sweet.Well, instead of those cartoon characters ruining it.Yeah, yeah.
40:25Yeah, so, and then then, okay, so Cobb is the last big thing he did.Then he did the Great White Hype, you're right?watched there?No.Oh wait,is that...The comedy movie.It's Fing Rams.
40:37No, it's a comedymovie withOh.I think it'sa who's it?Samuel Jackson.Oh, right, right.It's just Damon Wayne's
40:46movie.Okay, right, right, right.Hollywood homicide.Oh, I saw that.He wrote the screenplay...That wasn't good at all.He wrote the screenplaythe bad boys too.
40:56I take it back now.This guy rocks.Yeah, I think it bad.You're a fucking...Isn't that?Megan Fox was like 15 in now,wasn't she?That's right?
41:02dancing.Yeah,I don't knowwhy I remember that.That's the onlypart I remember,you know.He wrote that
41:08in the script,by the way.And 15 year olddances.And that's just the wholehe wrote a napkin.That's the scriptright there.
41:15New any more?Get back to me.Look,just this is the idea.He faxed thisto Ron Sheltonand let him flesh it out.Yeah.
41:23They're like,flesh it up.Ooh.Oh.Anyway,what should allwith Star Trek now?I guess,
41:31yeah.So I've been watching.Who else? And do you say, it's Jack Harlow and who in the new one?Maybe Vince Staples.Okay, right.That's a...Yeah, I mean, that's, it's for the kids.I think it's straight to Hulu.
41:42Right, okay.So it's not, you're not going to be able to watch on a big screen, unless you, like, you know, bring a gun to cinema.All right, we've delayed it for long enough.Let's talk about Star Trek.So I'm watching...Oh, you want Pet Cemetery, though.Oh, shit.Have you ever seen Pet Cemetery?
41:58No.Do you know the plot?You probably know from South Park.Yeah, so they bury a child and it comes back to life or something?Basically, so it's his family getting evicted from their house.It's Jason Clark, who I like now.Jason Clark.He's an Australian actor.
42:14He's one of those guys that, like, never made it big, but he's kind of, you know his face, definitely.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So Jason Clark and his wife and you've got two kids.I need to get evicted from their house, forget why, and they decide to go, they get some cheap land in, like, Idaho or some shit like that.Right, okay.And again, it's like this big, massive property for a growing up.price.They're like, this is fucking awesome.
42:34And he's a doctor, and he gives a jobin, like, the local hospital.It's a real small, like, you know,like, the biggest thing is, like,someone's got brain freeze, you know?You know, like, there's a kidhas a nosebleed or someone's got brain.It's, like, it does no, like, gunshots around me.
42:47Right, okay.Peaceful Americana, you know?Yes.Nothing can possibly go wrong.Ah.But then they know what it was already.Right beside their house is a big road, all right?And it's like, bha-and there's big trucks
42:58going by all the time, you know?Right.That's a bit dangerous, but we'll get to the later on.and they have a catand the cat I thinkoh the cat diesokaythey're like oh it's sad
43:08but thenthey meet the neighborplayed by John Litkowoh okayso it's Fred wentin the originalyou know from the monstersFred went
43:19the judge fromyeah from my cousin Vinnieyeah yeahJesusthe autism cylindersare our firinghot and heavyit's like tennis
43:30back and forthSo John Lick guy was like, you know, ah, you're getting on.He's like, he's like doing a real like, ah, how are you getting on?Yeah, don't go in those woods.Woods are dangerous.Yeah, yeah.But there's like a pet cemetery.He's like, awful strange things happen in that pet cemetery.
43:45You bury something.They come back to life.Stay away.Stay away.What else happens?Well, it's pretty much it, but it's pretty fucking weird, kid.What more do you need?It's ain't MTV.
43:57Stop looking at Madonna's titties.So they bury the animal, little cat.It's like the 80s, right?This is happening in the...No, no, it's modern day.Oh.They have computers and stuff.Oh, they had computers in the 80s.
44:13Well, they've got like TikTok in this, you know?Well, this is a new one.Yeah, it's 2019.Oh, shit, did you say that?Oh, sorry, I thought, well, it's fucking Jason Clark and John Lickow.Yeah, but they've, you know, John Lickgaugh's pretty old.John Lickow...There was, like, a pet cemetery in the 80s.
44:28Yeah.Okay, so this is the new one.Oh, sorry, I should have said that.I just assumed you'd read my mind.Sorry, usually I would, but you hit me with, you know, George Wendt and Fred Munster and...It's not George Wendt, you're fucking...I know.It was actually Ted Lassow's uncle.
44:46Okay.Yeah, so deal with that.I'm not watching any more Ted Lassow, I've decided.It's not good for me.What's the name of Jason Siegel?Jason...Now you've infected me with your shit.Sadecas.
45:01Jason Sudeikas.We've gone off the rails here, okay, talking about...Pet Cemetery.Let's just keep your back on track.It's a real simple story.It's not exactly that's cinematic.So they put the cat in the pet cemetery, comes back to life, but it's all like,wah, it's all weird.
45:14Right.So that's like, you try and kill it, but the cat's like,wah and runs away.Okay.And then they're like, oh, that's weird, but me, but look, let's ignore that.Yeah.But then, like, Jason Clark, he starts seeing visions of dead people.Right.
45:28And, uh, they have a party then.and a little kid runs on a roadgets hit by a truckand they're likehey if it worked for that catlet's try it with the dead kidand that's when you might know this linesometimes dead is better
45:43exactly yeahhe was talking about a pussythe cat of courseoh I beat youtricked you off thereso they buried a kidcomes back to life but he's all likeferal like
45:58and they think they canhe's voting for Trump nowdo that he's like a fortune nothat would be that would be pretty good I thinkyeah yeah that would be too satiricalthat literally kind of break the whole system in halfthey couldn't handle it manthen he's the kids running around trying to eat people
46:20and it's not right not much goes onwe find out the mother her sister had spinal meningitisor something like that right she had a bad spineand she fell down a dumbwaiter.Oh, yeah, dumbwaiter, yeah.She fell down there, so when she opened and it was like,like a dead cunt in there.And then like the...
46:40Was this like when she was a child?Yeah, yeah.But then she has visions of her sister there.Something about the grave,the Pet Cemetery also makes visions appear a lot.Okay, well, it's obviouslysome kind of evil entity or spirit or something, right?So it's typical of Stephen King.
46:57It's small town, a kind of unspecified evil.I don't really like sometimesis the evilit's not likezombiesgo over the headyou knowwith Dracula's
47:07it's like garlicwherever like thatyeahwith this is kind of likeyou knowwith Republicansit's logicoh
47:14I show James oneStephen Colbertvideoand now I'm justheyI've seen the lightI've renouncedall my ways
47:22he's zinging and zaginand zagin right therehe's kissing picturesZelenskysobut there's not very much that happensby the wayso basically like
47:31they come backthe kid kills some peoplekills John Lickowand he affects all the other familyand thenthe family are all zombies thenokaythe end
47:39oh yeah I knowit's not likeI read the book years agoI remember thinking of the timelike this is not very cinematicbecause it's all like bigit's all a big builduptoo
47:48like even in the moviethe kid doesn't dieuntil like an hour inrightand the book is like really really lateit's all just like set upand all thatyeah that's uh
47:58yeahit's a bit frustratingand anti-climacticbut you knowhey he's the king of horror or whateverthe master of horrorthe master of horroryeah master
48:10bitterI'm getting a bit tired there actuallyI mean to give you more stuff nowhow much time we have?48 minutesokay this is fucking really get wildStar TrekStar Trek this will perk you
48:20This will get me wildI'm gonna leave the roomI'm wackyyeahZim Zamsoomhe's not deadwhat he's dead Jimokay right
48:32yeahyeah yeah yeah exactlyis George Went going to appearI know you said Fred wentbut it's funny to say George wentnever trying to be funny on thisokay so I'll be watchingSteep Space 9
48:45and it's a really goodit's actually legitimately goodand weird is I heard Will Menakerfrom Chapo Trapp Housesay he's recently rewatching it as wellokay so two great minds right theretwo great minds yeah now was your dadin the CIA or? No, no, Jimmy
49:00was not allowed for violent racism.Jimmy was like, can we sell even morecrack to the black people? They're like,steady on, Jimmy. Yeah, come on now.He was in the CIAgay. Ha, ha. It's your dad, that is.That's you. I'm mugging him off.Your pop's just got murked, fam.
49:20Wait, let me just check see on my Star Trek notes there for a second.You got a gig coming up, though.Yeah. But you're probably sure. Yeah. So that'd be goodfor you. I'm happy for you. Thanks. Yeah. Well, I had a lot of shows there at the weekend, so I'm a little bit tired now, but, you know, it's good. It's good to keep busy. I'm going to, I got some good videos out of it, so I'm going to be sending them around the clubs and try to get more gigs. I'm going to try to break up north. Get up there and sort out that hot mess they got going.I don't think it's that hard. I usually show up there you can't break the north. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll tell you what, speaking of, just go off topic for a minute. Have you heard about the Wagner Group?The Wagner group?Yeah.As in Robert Wagner?
50:00No, no, no.This is pure suicide squad.In Russia, they've got a new thing called the Wagner group where they get all thehardest criminals and send them into front lines in the war against Ukraine.Oh, shit.Yeah.And they basically use them as like human, like, you know, send them over there.And if you hear like those with guns and explosions, so we'll go over here then instead.
50:16Wow.Yeah.So, what, just like violent criminals and psychopaths?Yeah, and rapists and, you know, gay people probably.Yeah, yeah.The worst of the worst, you know?Jesus Christ.Just send them over there.
50:29Yeah.Because I'm trying to get more into Ukraine recently,because I feel like it's kind of died down.It has a bit.Even though today Putin was literally like,we like, was blaming NATO and was like, you know,saying nuclear weapons are not off the table and stuff like that.Pretty scary shit.
50:45Chitty, shitty, bang, bang.And it's funny how like Putin's saying that.It's like such a non-story these days.You know, we've all moved on.Yeah.But like, I mean, you know, there's all, yeah.It gets over a hype.and shit, you know.
50:56The defense contractors are getting to earn theirmonies, so that's what it's all for.Bill Hicksie, smoking a cigarette.I'll just say this.If anyone has a good Ukraine podcast, let me know.There's a lot of real dog shit podcasts out there.There's a lot of daily podcasts.And literally every single day
51:15for like the last two years, they've been like,this changes everything.This new development changes everything about the war.And it doesn't.Here's the thing about these conflicts.is. And I know this is going to come off as veryGlib, but...You, Glib? Yeah. But you
51:31could, as you said, be one of theseguys who studies it, focuses on itand follows it every day.And every new development, you're like, oh, my God.Holy shit. Holy shit.Or you could completely ignoreit and your circumstances in lifewon't really change. You know what I mean?
51:47It's like, things are going to unfoldstaying informed doesn't help.You just annoy people atgaff parties. It's kind of like when your sister falls down thestairs.Yeah, like, you know, what are you going to do about, you know?Haliburton's going to come along and piss on her face and there's nothing you can do.Lockheed Martin are going to take a big shit in our mouth and you just got to sit and groove on it.
52:09Okay, now back to Star Trek, okay.I want to tell you about the trill.All right, the trill are the species of Star Trek.I don't really understand it properly.So I was watching an episode of Rooney there, my roommate, about the trills.The trills are, it's kind of like a collective of people where it's like, uh,How do we explain this now?So there's a woman, all right, her name's Dax.
52:30And she's like the 13th, Dax.What happens is, you volunteer to put a trill inside you.They're like big space slugs.Okay.So they insert the slug inside you.Yeah.And you get the memories of the past host of the slug.Oh.
52:45So let's say you're James right now, okay?Yeah.But I put a slug in you.Now you're still James, but you're also Kevin and Sarah and Larry and Johnny and all the peoplewho were hosted by a slugbefore. So all your personalities have merged into oneright there. Why would you want that?I don't really understand. So it's a schizophrenia
53:03slug? Exactly, yeah. I mean, yeah,if you could like immediatelylearn new skills, that's pretty good.You can, yeah, yeah. But then you also getall of their neuroses and unhappiness.You do, and you get like bad dreams. Let'ssay if one of them got molested, then you've allbeen molested, you know?
53:19It's a bad idea. Well, if one could play guitar,you can all play guitar. You can tread.Yeah, exactly.And that's how they defeat the Klingons.Yeah, with the power of rock, dude.Let's break the lid out.So literally, if one day they were watched like six episodes in a row of Deep Space Nine.Right.
53:40I really kind of like, it's very easy to zone out and not really pay attention to what's going on at all.And it's kind of like to go along for the ride.Yeah.And in some ways, it's pretty entertaining, I've seen now.How many seasons?There's seven seasons all together.I know.Are you watching it through?
53:54Are you picking and choosing?I'm kind of picking and choosing.I'm kind of looking at a list.Disrespectful.You're right.I will go back.Don't worry.Oh, God.
54:01You know what I think?I've let down the fans.This is a weird one.On the way back from a gig last week, I was just walking home and I was quite drunk.I just had this thought, you know what?I'm going to just start watching the X files.Maybe I'll just start watching X files.You said it to me before, James.
54:18Remember one time you were a drug?I've been too scared.Remember that time you were a blackout drug?I remember you were like crying.I was like, I can't watch.I'm scared.the X-Files are too scaryHe's a sex addict with a big penis
54:30I'm terrified to watch itI think the X-Files would be good for youI think you've become an ex-files manYou start walking around with a fake FBI badgeAgent Cattern, FBIThe truth is out thereExcept what that woman said about meThat's bullshit
54:46But the truth is up thereWhere is ScullyShe's an agent provocateurHired by the Deep Stateto discredit me.Four inches is considered bigin some countries.So, uh, ooh. So, X-Files
55:02is great. So it starts off. Actually, I watcheda pilot episode over COVID there. And I was like,this is great. It's very twin peaks originally.Right. And then they kind of move away from thatand kind of do their own thing. And how many seasonswas there of the initial wrong? Here's the thing.So, I believe there's likenine seasons, maybe eight.
55:19But a film in between there?There's a film between, I think, let's say,four and five. Right. And then anotherfilm when the show ended in like 2009with Billy Connolly.Can't get bigger than that, you know?Yeah, the most hideousspecies known in all of the galaxy.
55:35Oh, hello!Yee!Oh, I'm working class.This goes to Scotland, like, my God.Blow it up.And then they came back with one mini-seriesthat ended badly.Then they brought back for another,
55:51I think it meant to be a full series,but then like theyit's the only gone for small contractsso they keep on to do other stuffand there's likethere's another movie in thereat some point isn't thereno it only two movies
56:02oh rightand I think there was rumoursa while agoof an animated seriescontinuing itrightso we'll seelike I think Fox
56:08won the milk X-Filesfor moreit's a very recognisable brandyesfor a while thereit was like the number one showit was very popularat the time
56:15like people say like water coolerstuffbut likeback then showsmeant somethingyou know like seasonfour of you comes outyeah
56:22people are likeI've seen that?Yeah.No, have I?Literally, all these showsnow have been like,does I watch that?Oh, I actually watched six seasons of that.
56:30Oh, I can't even remember.Yeah.It just comes and goes.I've done that.Like, I've watchedlike three seasons of a showand forgot everything about it.I've watched all of Orange and New Black.
56:39Really?It's a gun on my head.Literally, because I remember one stagea girl got her box munched.In a woman's prison?You sure you weren't watching X-Files again?Oh my God, Scully.The box is out there.
56:53the boxmunchers are out theredo do do do dodo soit starts off greatand the way it worksis there'smetology episodes
57:03and monstersor weak episodesrightso you couldif you want tojust watchthe mythologyepisodes and actually
57:09follow the storyof likeMolder and Scullyinvestigatingthis one thingyou knowand it's likeI forget
57:15I haven't watchedin a long timenowthere's somethingabout thegovernmentare using alientechnology to
57:21create likesuper soldieror somethingI didn't realize it was a documentary, Brian.Oh, are you ready for Project Blue Beam?This is you before you watch it.That's right.I cannot wait to use it to walk around with little shades.
57:36Don't even talk to me, bro.I've escaped the Matrix.And they're like, James, do you want to do a gig?I'm too busy doing something way more important.I'm investigating Ukrainians.Where do they come from?What planet does Ukrainians?The planet, Ukraine.
57:52ah yesanywayso umbut there's somebodyif you just want to get into ityeah look up the best likebest episodesthey'll all be Monster Week episodes
58:02they're always the best onesso Monster of the Week are kind of likestand alone not involvedin the serialized plotTwilight Zone episodesthat's funand they're always designed to be likeit's like
58:11muller and scully walk into a townthey're likehey what's going on hereand then have a full adventurewraps up the endneat little ribbonright I would recommendthe squeeze episode
58:20the squeeze that's a great episodeit's about toguy who he can squeeze intothings. And it doesn't sound thatscary really. So, but I was like, the way to doit is so freaky looking. So like, he'slike, you know, let's saylike, um, oh,
58:34I can't, let's say, he's in the press, let'ssay, he can squeeze into a press and come outand kill you, you know? Oh, right. Yeah, or it'slike, what's he kind of like, turned into goo?Not full goo. He's just like, he can justdisdicate his bones and like wiggle around the place,you know? Right, right. You know, wiggle throughlittle gaps and cracks, you know? And
58:50that was scary. Like a rat.rats can do thatyeah exactlycats can kind oflike really goreal wiggly as wellthat's a real goodepisode again
58:58not describing it greatbut it's very very goodanyway we were meantto be talking about Star Trekand you got me onthe fucking X-Filesboys right there'syou would like
59:05just one episodewith Luke Wilsonyou'd lovebecause I knowyou're being aLuke Wilson fileI amyeah yeah
59:10the cooler of the LukeWilson'she never got sadand tried to killhimselfover some dumbcuntyeah
59:17so I couldI lost all respectfor Marmadukeso I thinkyeah why X-Files by the wayI don't knowI don't knowI just had this random thought
59:30it just popped in my headbecause the guy I knowhe started watching X-Filesduring COVIDyeahand that's COVIDCOVID's a good excuseto be like
59:38yeah I'm watchingduring COVID you can watch anythingyesyou'd be like I'm watchingGilmore girlsha ha ha it's likeCOVID haI'm eating cake
59:46I'm watching Gilmore girlsha haI'm eating cakeand watchingI saysbeheading videos. Yeah, and it was goodokay, but now we do it, likeeveryone's going to come back to normal now.
59:56Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm eating cake.And now it's time for me to getfreaky. Yeah.I'm going to get real weirdwith it. I don't know. I just hada notion and I, yeah, I might check out themonster of the week episodes. I think you need to watchmore shows that aren't Sopranos.
01:00:13What? Oh, what? The greatestshow of all time? At the very least, watchDeadwood or something else. Come on.Why? What's wrong with rewatchingsopranos. It's not wrong with it per se,but it's like, there's not wrong with like, again,chocolate cake. Yeah. But if you'rejust eating chocolate cake, non-stop, while
01:00:28watching Sopranos. And I am, andI'm loving it. Loving everysecond. But yeah, no, well,look, I've finished Sopranos, so I'm donewith Sopranos. For another week. It's out ofmy sister. And you're going straight back into it.When was the last time I watched it? What are youtalking about? I don't know. Yeah, yeah.
01:00:44There's something else I think of James should watch that as well.There's loads of shows that you should watch that.Like, hey, fucking White Lotus Season 2.Yeah.do keep meaning to see thatbut you can'twatch the last of us tooeveryone's talking about that
01:00:56you watched anymore or thatno I haven'tyeahtoo busy watching sopranosyou're gonna mock meyeahI mean I am watchingStar Trek deep space
01:01:05yeah yeahhow am I the dickheadhereI didn't say dickheadhow am I the small cocked weirdowho pisses onold peoplewait not
01:01:15who pisses in bottlesand drinks itwhy you see I do thatohyou think ofoursbut we're going totalk about
01:01:23fish tankbut we're actuallyan hourthereokaywe can saveit till next weekyeah let's save
01:01:28that's the kindthing that we needto work ourselvesup to a realfervouryeahI might re-watch itI might re-watch it
01:01:33I only saw it onceand it was a few years agoit's a legitgood movie thoughyeahyeah yeahyeah fish tankcould be good
01:01:38it's directed by a womanI'll tell youwhat I might gowatch her wholefilmographyokayit's some womancalled like Andre
01:01:44Andropolissomething like thatshe's doneanother filmthat people sayis greatit's called likeRed Road
01:01:50right it's a dog 1 95 type movie about a woman whoshe works behind the cTVin like a fucking like you know kind of Grenfell style apartmentokay yeah yeah yeah yeah she falls in love with someoneon the camera and becomes a weirdo or something like thatoh so she's stalking the plebsmaybe I don't know I know exactly what is now yeah yeahall right well yeah you do that I'll watch X files
01:02:13and uh yeah it'll all be you knowfish tank in X files that really sort us out I thinkyeah so before we go though this isLet's take a minute here.Fish files.It all led up to that.Yep, perfect.The idea else before you want to,
01:02:30before you go there.Oh, man,I think we,you know,we hit it there.I'm annoyed there.I saw the whaleon the dodgy websites
01:02:37I go on to,I was like,oh,this is great,but it was like a really bad cam.Oh, yeah.Like, I watch bad cam sometimes.Yeah.
01:02:44This was like, you know,like this,like basically like,fucking Blair Witch Projects,like bad, you know?Oh, fuck.really shaky and just like the sound qualitywas basically like
01:02:53it's like thatI'm fatI'm so annoyedI want to see the whalebut I don't really want to go to cinemaand it's not a great date movieis I imaginewell I mean it'll make you look pretty good
01:03:08afterwards you're right oh my godthat's such a good thing right thereyeah I just literallyyou can watch the whaleand eat like five bags of crispsand so he ate sevenso I'm pretty goodI've got crissed over my face.
01:03:21At least I'm not in the mummy.She breaks up with youand goes out with likesome lad from a TLC showthe 5,000 pound retardand she's like, I don't knowhe just gets me, Brian.He's not annoying like you, Brian.
01:03:38He doesn't talk about Star Trek all the time.Yeah. All right. Yeah.Before we go though, let's see.What can we talk about next week? Did you watch it allthough, the whale on the can? I didn't even start.Yeah. I watch like a second as I mightI got a fucking tummyache from watchingI got a fucking headache
01:03:53So I'll tell youI'll watch more of the golf documentaryOkayPeople love thatAnd we're watching thatThe golf documentaryThe guy was touching Roy McRoy's faceYes when he was a child
01:04:03That was weirdSo Roy McIFamous golfer from the north of IrelandYeahHe was on what was named the showYou knew itThe show was called KellyAnd I recognise the presenter
01:04:14SoYou did more recogniseWhen you saw that imageYou hadkind of like, you know when people like hear a song tohaven't heard for years and they start to cry, you know?They're lucid, friends.Like an Alzheimer's patient is lucid only momentarily.
01:04:29I can hear colours.It's Kelly.I can see Kelly.Yeah, the show is called Kelly, which I assume is his surname.Now, I was a child, whenever I didn't know his name.You aren't a Kelly family.I recognize he kind of looks like Brendan Grace,like a younger Brendan Grace.
01:04:45And he was on UTV.And because I'm from a border county,got all the Protestant channelsas well, so...That's why you're the way you are today.That's right.I was getting pure I, pure TG Catterright here, yeah.
01:04:56That's why I'm a wigger manbecause of UTV.So, anyway, yeah, so Roy McRoy was on.Yeah.And it's kind of standard thing.You saw Tiger Wood as well.They get a little kid onto put a golf ball,
01:05:08like, look at him go.He hits a golf ballinto a washing machine at one point.He did?He does, yeah, yeah, yeah.And I think probably, like,the audience won a washing machineor something because of that.
01:05:18I assume.Point is like, so do it.And he's like, look at that little boy there.Great golfer.We got, they got Tiger Woods.We got Rory McElroy.He grabbed Roy McElroy.His fingers are very close to his mouth.
01:05:29Here's what, it's so bizarre because the guy is standing behind the seven-year-oldRory McElroy.So he's bringing his arm around him and is cupping his chin and stroking his face.There are cameras on, pal.This is your show.He loves that.by the way he looks they're all watching him he's like yeahI'm killing
01:05:53I can do whatever the fuck I wantI say we're or a mackleroysend him to me deration roomthere'll be a hole in onefor suregood times good timesso I'm going to leave nowthey called him Dunigall Snatch
01:06:10I'm going to leave nowyou're going to have fun tonight I won't have fun tonightI'm going to stay home although I'm doingan event tomorrow actuallywhat's the eventin workI forgetI don't read
01:06:21the event sheetsokayI'm so badassI just roll upit's a funeraland you go indressed likeTimmy Mallet
01:06:26wheyI'm heyyeahI like thatby the wayI was apropo not in therea group of peoplerecently
01:06:35and I was likethere was a guywho like dressedall coollike vintage clothesI was likeoh he dressedlike
01:06:40worse of gummageand no one gotwhy I meantdid anyonedid they laughor do they laughor anythingno I didn't know
01:06:47why meantyeahGod, don't you'rea Wurzel fan,I never watched WurzelGavage, but I just, you know,what was he like afucking, just a retard
01:06:59whose face was covered in shitand he had like a lump of strawand he was a smelly oldGod who lived in a bridgeunder a bridge or something.I don't know what it was about.It was.Wurzel Gummage is just a very
01:07:14funny sound, theonomatopoeia of it, you know.is wonderful.Not to burst your bubblein real life he wasa lovable talkingscarecrowI like your idea.
01:07:24Was that what I was?He was a scarecrow.He was a smelly trampwho deserves to die.I thought he justwell he was justsome old geezerwith shit on his face.
01:07:35I just thought he waslike at the old local nunswho chased the kids aroundor something you know.Oh where's a little gummageyou know your name's Frankor.And then Timmy Mallet.That's even before my time as well.
01:07:48But he was a mad-looking con tooBut anywayOh yeahThat's in it thereNext weekHopefully we watch the whaleThe whaleFish Tank
01:07:58X-FilesYeahIt's gonna be greatAnd hopefully some real bad shitLike Jimmy CarterWould probably be dead by thenJimmy CarrCarter
01:08:05Oh okaySo don't scare me like thatYeahSo I'll tell you whatI might watch a documentaryWith Jimmy CarterAnd bring a kind of a historyJimmy Carter
01:08:14OkayNow we did on the PatreonA little quickLike what was heA president or some shitD.Suck my D.Build a house, did he?
01:08:22I bet he built a George.Yeah.But I might do more,going more detail about the IranHostage,Arrano.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Nicaragua.
01:08:35We're going to go,you know,political now, you know.Yeah, it's about time.It's an intelligentsia.That's what this podcast will emulate.And more Star Trek.Yeah, all right.
01:08:45Bye.Bye.
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