Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 202 : Lawnmower Man

Episode Date: July 15, 2023

We get naked and eat some grass so we can become cyber gods

I'm being satirical there is what I'm doing when I use the slurs because that's what they would say because they're bad and I'm good You're standing up for them That's right, yeah I mean, yeah They're the type of ones like

When EastEnders had like The first gay kiss on British TV The head eyes like East Benders Puffs on Jelly What's this all about? Yeah, yeah And now they hit the moral high ground

We're like now she webbers is bad you know yeah it's disgusting well you were pretty you were a adamant supporter of philip schofield right up until the very end it was advice but not illegal yeah okay that's my go-to phrase right there yeah anyway let's just uh zig right there right and let's talk about lawnmore man all right because i watch lawmore man and i was interest in it and the more a researcher did the more interest as it was in it i think lawnmore man is is not just a movie but it's more like

a way of life a prophecy Wow okay so do you know any about lawn more man tell me what you know and I'm going to fill in the blanks I'll tell you what I know

so Stephen King wrote a book but apparently the movie is like absolutely nothing like it yes you're right and it's Pierce Brosden is a doctor and he basically

he sees a retarded lawnmour man mowing the lawns with a lawn Mawar's like, that's why they call him that. And he decides I'm going to help this mongoloid and inject them with some brain serum and turn

him into a boffin brainiac. So maybe he'll be able to cut the fucking edges properly. Fucking goober over there. Hey! Ah! I'm mowing the lawn! I'm like, well please keep it a straight line, lawnmower man.

For fuck sake. You know, I could pay some fucking wet bags to do this for half the price. you fucking goofball Well you know it's interesting Star Alfred completely Yeah The original short stories

This is based on The short story called Lawmore Man Is so different Yeah That Stephen King actually sued The film producers Because they were being like Stephen King presents a new movie

Lawmore Man He's like I have nothing do it is Please like keep my name out of it's all right He he gets Because he was annoyed by the shining as well It's like if they don't do the exact version But man this is like So I swear to God now

The original short story Lawmore Man is this guy hires a mentally disabled man. Yes. To mow his lawn. Right. All right. So he's in the house and he sees that a guy mows

a lawn by getting naked and eating the grass. What? Yeah, he gets naked and eats the grass and he questions the guy. Instead of mowing the lawn just strips off and just starts munching the grass. He's chewing the code like a cow.

I'll be done in four days. This was God a fruitful endeavor. Last time I go on Craig's list, I'll tell you that. So it's this retard eats grass, all right? And the guy goes like, hey, what, you eat grass? And then the lawmower man, okay, actually worships this God and then kills the guy. Oh. And then the police show up be like, hey, there's a dead body here, but that grass is cut very well.

The end. Yeah, that's it. Wait, so was he kind of like an idiot savant pretending? No. Oh, he's just a disabled man who eats grass. And he managed to kill the... He just bashed him a rock or something, yeah. But he gets away with it.

He just runs away. The cops show up and say, well, you're the lawnmower man, and by law it means you own this house now. Oh, okay. Yeah. This Pee-B. Herman Cohn's doing it. But there's no version... I'm gonna cut me grey.

die oh boy there's no virtual reality element whatsoever there's no computers there's no Pierce Brosnan there's no brain serum there's nothing all right

so they literally so what happened is Dennis how is it even like a spooky Stephen King thing it's just like never trust a retard because they get naked the fact he's naked

made me laugh but heard about it he had sex with the lawn more just imagine you're like sitting there your house feel like oh I can't wait for a grass cut. Nothing like the smell of freshly cut

grass. You look how is a naked man? Just balls just munching on the grass. Just scaring the neighbor's children. So it's funny, the studio

had a separate script called Cyber God. All right? They taught Cyber God. No one's going to watch a film called Cyber God. That's not a cool name. Yeah.

We're going to the rights to lawnmore man so we can use the name lawnmower man because children love lawnmowers but we don't like the whole idea of the retard they did like a focus group but they just

picked up some Mexicans at a Walmart it's like hey projection show that they love lawnmowers yes very racist but very funny so I'm torn no you're punching up in a way yeah

The Mexicans who mow your lawn is so much power You're like, they're not being naked This goes against everything Stephen King believed They're putting it in the bin when it's perfectly delicious Hey, just pour some salsa on it, you freaks And you'll munch it, slurp it down With some services or whatever the fuck Hey, let me have some sasparilla

Oh no, no, no This is bad, I'm being bad No, it's good. Release it, release it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so the movie starts off, and Pierce Brosnan is working on monkeys. So he's a guy and he works at monkeys. Okay.

And I'm trying to use monkeys in the war. Oh. They work for a place, I think it's a sequel organization called, like, The Shop. Right. Run by Dean Norris. Really? Yeah, yeah. A young Dean Norris.

A young Dean Norris, who doesn't sound or look like Dean Norris. It's weird. He definitely grew into himself. I prefer Breaking Bad Dean Norris. Bald and fat. Is he like... He's bald and skinny. Oh, he's bald. Because he was in lethal weapon too, and he had a bit of hair on that.

No, in this he's bald and skinny. Maybe it's because he's wearing like an ill-fitting suit, but he just looks a bit sickly and bad, you know? I'm like, you're not Hank Schrader. So, they work for his company called The Shop. And he's working on these monkeys, and they're trying to give monkeys guns. And, you know, it's stuff like people need, you know, like,

they're trying to breed a monkey to be more vicious and violent. Okay. But also smarter. So they want a monkey that can kill you, but also like take her credit card and go to ATM. Right. It's kind of like, you know, what Alex Jones talks about, like kind of alien or, no, like animal human

hybrid, you know, they're like breeding man bear pigs to fight in the war, you know? Basically, this is like pure Alex Jones right here, okay? So he's like working the monkey, but he's all stressed out. They're just retards. They're retards. They're the grass you pay him

to cut the they don't even bring their lawn mowers they just come they take their cock out in front of the children these people are sick

sick inner dimension of paedophile vampires so he goes home and man Pierce Broson this is before Bond all right yeah

he's looking grey yeah he loves to smoke in bed shirtless that's his favourite thing all right it's a good luck for him

yeah not so much when I do it it's not as uh yeah and he's got like this bitch wife who's like stop talking about

the monkeys he's like shit up But then he gets a phone call like Mr. Pierce Brosnan Your monkey's dead He's like what What bloody hell what And it turns out his monkey

Got loose and like Try to take a cop's gun Oh shit Wow Debt by cop You know Suicide by monkey Yeah

So like he's like Oh no Look at your new monkey Don't worry He's like It's not the same That monkey I spent years With it

How am I going to find Someone with the brain of a monkey and then he hears and he looks outside there's a man mowing the lawn right he was like wait a minute and he talks to him this this lawnmower man right right

and lawnmore man's proper like I cook grass real good don't I'm like yeah you do sure yeah and like he maybe try turning the lawnmower on though oh yeah and he's really good friends at Pierce Brosnan's son

because they're like you know don't look me like that I didn't say anything. So, like, Pierce Brosnan... You're going to defend the lawnmower man. I was like, he did nothing illegal. They're just very good friends. He's showing him how to use the lawnmower.

Yeah. And they show him how to go to the bathroom. So, like, the kid loves comic books. He was like, hey, look, lawnmower man. It's a comic book. He's like, whoa, it's action comics 272. Whoa. And he's like, it's just...

Wait, don't you love comic books? Yeah, well, you see it. But I don't know how to cut the grass. I don't know how lawnmowers work, so I'm safe. You're a lawnmour man just without the skill set or work ethic. And by the way, it's very distracting. Lawmore man has got like real... He kind of looks about Hugh Edward's wife.

He's got like orange hair, like bad hair, and he's dressed like a minion. Literally, he's got the same colour scheme as a minion. Like yellow jumper blue dungarees. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he like walks around and he gets bullied. So just say he goes in the town I love it movies like that Where they're all bullied disabled man

It's awesome, it's great It's pretty fun Yeah And um All the girl Having grown up with You know Intellectually disabled

Sibling who got bullied In school While I was there It is always fun to see it in a movie It's like Just like in real life That's fantastic That attention to detail

He goes the petrol station There's spray petrol on him Literally Really They take that Take that retards I don't like petrol Of course you don't

Because you're disabled Hey Lordmore man Want to smoke It'll make you cool You fucking idiot Wait hang on I want to ask What age is the kid The little kids

Maybe like I'm bad at telling children's ages But like very smart Maybe like 10 He's really like Gee whiz You want to play yo yo Afterwards

And he's like I don't know how yo yo Yeah I don't know how to make Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Sorry but they're good buddies alright

okay he's kind of like a friend of the family but not too friendly they don't let me inside a house kiss the shit outside and then eat it up afterwards

like Ernie Hudson's character in Hand That Rocks the Cradle He's a little bit like that I was thinking of Ernie Hudson yeah I think one of the flaws the movie is the lawnmower man himself is not an actor

any of us have heard of he's not like a well-known actor and he's not great okay he seems like jeff healy or something like that oh if a jeff daniels would be much better for this actually well yeah yeah or anyone really very good actor or jim carey or literally anyone else yeah much better jesus so his only credit is lawnmore so he goes to like comic con and he sets up as lawnmower man stand but nobody ever comes to bring his own lawnmower hey i still get it all the kids are you a minion he's like no

fucking I'm gonna sue the shit out of Steve Correll I don't think he's just Oh yeah he is Yeah he is With his nose Yeah

So Pierce Brough Anyways like Look you're basically a monkey I'm gonna use you For my experiments Yeah But he's like

You know Kind of funny If you didn't Watch the start of it It kind of looks like Pierce Brosson is going to molest him Because he's like

How about me and you Do special things together And you can't until anyone else. I'm going to help you. He's like, oh, secrets are fun, you know? Yeah. And we also find out Lawmore Man's got this real, like, religious dad, who's always, like, throwing

Bibles at him and, you know, to try to fix him, you know? Sure. Yeah, if I just throw a Bible hard enough as low frontal cortex, you know, he'll turn normal. And you know what? To break his dad's heart, he's got to just throw a Quran at him and it fixes him. Oh, thanks, Dad. I feel much

better. No! It doesn't prove anything. wait hang on how did the lawn more man get the job was it like you know through like a special program or something i think he just wanders around the house like knocking on people's doors he cuts a few people's lawns

yeah and a little we'll get into it more in a minute but one second sorry i always do this I lean on your fucking radiator and it hits my like funny bone and I get that weird pins and needles and then I let it ruin the flow

of the podcast and you get angry at me it's like your little for myself, I didn't do the Mexican voice good enough. Wait, so, yeah, how did he get the job? He just goes around knocked on doors. Oh, right, right, right, okay.

But, like, we'll get into it later on, but, like, he mows the lawn for quite a few people, and some of them are kind of sexy. But they all kind of, like, look at him, like, don't look at me. Yeah. Ew, he's cutting the lawn, and they throw, like, tomatoes out of me.

Yes. So, Pierce Broson does little things with him. First of all, he gets them play video games with the sun. Right. I know the sun's way better, because the can like has like can use his thumbs you know yeah yeah where the doesn't drool in the controller long more man's like kind of like doesn't like he's trying to lick the screen and all that you know

yeah but he starts doing little things like little like um experiments on him and like shocking his brain and injecting little things you know and then he can play super mario brothers oh yeah yeah he can not very well but he can he can you know he can move luigi around yeah yeah and then he starts getting better and better and then the real kind of sign he beats the son a video game oh yeah and he's like yay and pierce broadens's like okay now i need to bring him to the lab because he's just been doing it in the basement you know yeah yeah he's been fiddling with this disabled man in the basement right right but there's only so much you can do a mongo in the basement as i well know yeah you got you're bringing help all right so

he brings him the lab then and like you know the guy's in the lab you know the stuff shirts like yeah well it's a human being but it's the queerest luck monkey I've seen in quite a few days. But I suppose you can do your... For humanity's good, I suppose. Don't worry, boys. He's a conservative. Oh, well then. We're morally right

to do this. So, the experiments, but I don't really go into what they really are, but he basically dressed them up like Trond. Right. And puts him in like a big spinning thing and he just spins around. There's all like, peepoo, peepoo, peepo, peepo, peepoo. And like, Pierce Brown's like, oh yes, it's working. So, yeah, it's just a lot of, like, wire

and, you know, yeah, like, very 90s-looking computer science type stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lawmore Man is then kind of, he's doing little things like he's like, you know, I could not do that. No, I could not. He's not going, me can't do.

You know, he's like, he's making full sentences. And he's like, actually, I need to meet a friend at the 738, so goodbye. And, like, you know, they put on a Polly Shore movie, but he's not laughing anymore. It's like, oh, it's working. Yes, yes. he's reading the big newspapers now

not just like comic books not just peanuts you know not just Charlie Brown who's reading the financial times well really he should have known that she was going to move the football I mean you know

it's a sort of behavioural thing isn't it a compulsion it's very repetitive yeah yeah so also for some reason he starts to get ripped as well awesome so he starts to get big big muscles yes and then he's like

walking or oh yeah so there's this woman who keeps being mean to him she's like, I would never fuck a retard you know, he's spit out of order to be honest Yeah, but then she's getting her She's getting some petrol, you know And he's just lovely arse

She's like, oh I like, I want to see what's at your end of that arse Okay, and it's the lawmour man Right Because he's ripped now and he had like a real bowl cut like Beatles hair cut Yeah, yeah And now he's just got a haircut

Because he's so smart He's got a haircut now, right? So she's like, who's that hunk? And he's like, I'm your lawnmower man. And she's like, no, that guy was a retard. You're much, you're too sexy to be a retard. So she flirts at him, but he's kind of like, you know, hmm, a nice try I miss, but I've got bigger.

I've got to read books. I've got to read war and peace, baby. So see you. Yeah. So peace out, you know, war and peace out. But the next day, he's mowing the lawn shirtless, all right? And he's like raped. Yeah.

And he starts to hear, like, he's so sexy, he's so sexy. And he's reading her mind. Oh, what? He's now telekinetic. It's like what women want with Mel Gibson. Exactly. Awesome. So because he can read her mind, he just goes upstairs and fucks her.

Right on. Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't you have to say, like, she doesn't you have to consent? Yeah, do you think that it would work? Because I, Your Honor, I'm a lawnmore man. I could tell she wanted it. that's what the song Blurred Lines is about It's Robin taking the lawnmower man

Pharrell Williams is the lawnmower man And don't you want it? Oh yeah! Blood guides! So, um... It's very silly, isn't it? She doesn't get her tits out though, but she did They just mention that he's hard.

Right. She feels his pelvic area and goes like, you're hard. Then they fuck, all right? Right. And Stephen, Stephen, Stephen Brosden, Pierce Brosden,

is like he's loving this he's like this is great has he just been following the whole time with a clipboard wow he came on her face I didn't even have to tell him to do that he tiddy fucked her he knew he knew

yeah so he's into foot shit this is amazing so during the lab the next day and Pierce Bros was like this is amazing he's amazing but in his head he's like how do I stop him getting too smart

and a lot more man is like why are you worried with me getting too smart surely the smarter I get the better I get I'm already smarter than you Pierce Brosnan and Pierce Brons is like oh um well you know just in case you know for your own sake and then LLmoreman is like

I wouldn't worry too much and start staring at him and Pierce Broughton has got like a headache and he's like oh god and then next scene Pierce Brousin is in bed smoking again shirtless is like I'm scared

the power you know it scares me but also intrigues me Like Prometheus with the fire Or Oppenheimer Like Oppenheimer Instead of the nuclear bomb It's a retard with a lawnmower

I become dead destroyer I am become lawnmour man Destroyer of jelly beans So like he's scared But he also wants to like Go further Sure So he goes to the

The organisation then You're de Norris and the boys He's like We need to make him smarter You know next level And they're like Well maybe we can use it

and like he leaves and they're like yeah use it for war you know like that so Pierce Bralson thinks like we can bring peace but they want war you know next step are I virtual reality okay so you know the plane of existence you live in now James

tenuously yes I'm very tenuously attached to this mortal realm of reality but I'm ever so close to fully disassociating and slipping into psychosis. Well, you're kind of like

Lawmore Man than the way. Oh, okay, cool. Because Longmore Man. That means I'm going to get pussy? No, no, it's not. Because Loamore Man,

all right, is already growing bored of reality. Sure. He wants to go into virtual reality. So Pierce Broson then makes a virtual reality

world he can go into, you know, it's called like the, I need some, it's something, like the VSI or something like that, the virtual system

integration unit or something like that. So they go into the virtual reality and it's like, it's all this like 90s kind of like CGI stuff where he's like this kind of

floating orange kind of weird kind of like there's no like facial features is all very like weird and almost like impressionistic you know like right it's designed to be weird you know it looks weird and CGI kind of like he's a

like an orb of energy or something yeah yeah like the our human bodies don't exist and like when you go into the virtual world it's not you don't just look like yourself you're going to look like a weird kind of energy kind of beam kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. So he loves it, but guess what? He wants to fuck. So what he does is the one, that one, you know the woman who he banged earlier. Yeah. He's like, I like banging

you in this world. Right. How about virtual world? Yeah. So he sneaks her into the lab and they both dress up like Tron and get into the, the cyber world. And then in the cyber world, these two, like one's a purple ray of energy and one's like an orange ray of energy. And they start humping in the virtual world. I imagine it looks very silly. It does a little bit, but also kind of sexy for me anyway, yeah. Was it getting you off? It was getting me hard.

Oh, yeah. I was like, I started fucking a computer. You just take out a box of crayons and just shove the purple and orange one down your dickhole. I'm lawnmower, man. Yeah. So they start fucking all right, but she's kind of like, oh, stop, stop. he's like, I can't stop. Oh,

ooh, ooh, like that. Where are there actual physical bodies? They're just licked up to machines. Okay, right. So they're kind of like twitching, you know? Right, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of like the Matrix. Yeah. So he fucks her so hard in the virtual reality world, right? She's like screaming and begging to stop. Oh, yeah. But then when he goes back in reality, she's lobomized.

Serious? Yeah. He fucked her retarded. Yeah. That's amazing. And he fucked a sense. right out of her. And then I think

we don't see it but we hear a few scenes later that they found her like wandering around naked you know just screaming

and they're like she doesn't respond to anything now the neighborhood kids all poked her in the pussy with twigs

and walk not you stand by me exactly yeah yeah you want to see a naked crazy woman they didn't say it

but neither did I but we all felt that that naked woman's pussy was the most disgusting thing ever seen. We heard later from Jack's eyeball

that the lawnmower man put an entire lawnmower in her pussy and turned it on. Made sense in retrospect. When the night has come in the land is dark.

So, lawnmower man then kills... Absolute gibberish. Nonsensical gibberish. They love it though. They love it. Yeah, they do. It's free, so there's no pressure man we already gave we gave I'll tell you what now just to get away from Lawmore Man we gave a great patron episode

yeah I was happy with that we talked about the sound of freedom yes which is about children getting raped yes then we talked about Rob Rock Hudson yeah yeah so I mean like that he didn't rape any children probably they didn't no good stop talking shit about my heroes

Hugh Edwards and Rock Hudson those are my guys who's your guys who's your guys what you know like Mark Marring's like who's your guys oh yeah Sorry, I didn't pick up on your Marin reference there

Yeah, I'm the real dork here Oh, who's the goofball, fellas? It's me, yeah. Brian was given Marin vibes and I didn't pick up on it. I'm also very kind of, my shorts are very short I know, I've been locking, yeah.

I really don't want my ball to pop out while I'm talking about lawnmour, man. Okay, so he So, look, he's the bottomized woman with his cybercock. Yes. Basically. we've all been there, lads, lads, lads, lads.

Even Andrew Tate couldn't do that, you know what I mean? He fucking wishes, buddy. So, Lawmore Man is upset, but don't worry, he takes it out by killing some people. Oh. Yeah, so there's a few bullies around town that'd be like, you know, the guy who put petrol on them and like, you know, like, hey, hey, shit for brains, like that. Yeah. They wind up like dead, like massacard, you know, like ripped the pieces. They're like

And the cops there Are like Wow This guy must have been real strong And probably smart and retarded As well Yeah Probably had a big cop

Yeah probably muscley And Pierce Brosden's like I think I know who did this I think it was the Lawmore man Yeah And the cops like You're probably right I

And then guess what Lawmore man's in the corner pointing at them And then the cops are like Oh Open a shutcase He fell That's it

These things happen all the time. We're going back to the station now. You know what? We won't even bother filing a police report. You know, bye. Sweet. Doot, dude. It's walk off, like, whistling, you know. Hashtag, defund the police. Where was law more, man, we needed

him? So, so Pierce Brosons is now, like, you got to stop killing people. I know science is good and all that, but this is too much. I lobotomized a woman for flip's sake. I haven't even started lobotomizing women. Wait till you

see. This human world is not good enough for me. I'm going to ascend and I'm going to take over all technology. So the entire internet is going to be retarded now. Is this where the theory of Y2K came from?

When the clock strikes midnight all of our appliances will become retarded. Your toaster. We'll become a lawnmower. You're easy bake, often, all going to be infected by a retarded lawnmower man. So he says when it happens, every phone in the world will ring at once. Okay.

So remember that, okay? Every phone in the world, the ring at once, okay, when it happens. I'll remember that. Yeah, yeah. You forget everything else then. You forget your own name, but like, in the hospice, like, the phones. And the phones, Ricky gets the lawnmower man. You're the hospice, a Nigerian nurse, like, her phone rings.

Like, it's happened. you try and control her mind so the next thing is he breaks into the lab himself and he's trying to get into the computer and trying to take over the internet right? Yeah. And Pierce Broson

decides he got to fight fire with fire. So he gets in his own little... He goes from the Special Olympics. I need a crack team of spastics. In 1990 a group of retortals. were falsely accused.

If you need help, if no one else, and if you can find out, maybe you can hire the R team. Guess what the R stands for, Brian? Ah, yeah. Anyway, hey, Mr. T sounds the same. I love it when Lego goes together. Oh, I forgot one funny bit in it now. There's a bit in it where, like,

Lawmore Man is still having cyber sex, all right? Yeah. And Pierce Broaden just walks in, and, like, Lawmore Man is just violently, like... Coming? He's just coming, but he's hooked up to the machines. You don't see the actual virtual sex. You see him, like, going...

Blah! Yeah. And he's, like, sweating, like, does a bulge in his head. Yeah, yeah. He's just coming. So, he's been coming for, like, three hours. So, anyway, point is, Pierce Broston,

gets in the robot suit as well and they both own the virtual reality and have a virtual reality fight. Yeah. Okay. I'll show you some clips afterwards. It's not good. No, it doesn't sound like it would be good. But see, the thing is like, Pierce Broughton is a newbie in the virtual world where Lawmore Man

has already covered a place with giz. So, like, he is, he knows exactly what he's doing, right? Yeah. So then Lawmore Man crucifies Pierce Broston in a virtual cross. So in the virtual world, he makes a virtual crucifix and crucifice him with virtual

nails. And they're like oh, I can't escape. And do they they still don't look like people though, do they? They kind of look like video game characters in the 90s. Kind of like Sims characters but shittier. No, so I think at this stage now

the virtual lawmower man has like horns and looks more like gargoyles to show gargoyles. Oh yeah! It looks like gargoyles. Pretty sweet. And Pierce Broson looks like I don't know it looks like Super Mario or something something not as cool

I remember watching Gargoyles when I was a kid and my father coming in and it's like what the fuck is this shit? Why are you always watching weird shit like this? Like Ted it's Gargoyles then I'm watching Street Sharks and Biker Mikes for Mars your little fucking fruit

it's Gargaz Dads it's a new, it's great animation it's well it takes from the Japanese style of animation so pretty cool do you like Japanese animation dad no but I like the

Harry Carey thing they do which reminds me anyway back to Lawnmore Man so they have a big virtual fight but then the sun runs in and presses below the buttons

you know because the sun is like a Sun knows video games right so he uses video game knowledge to defeat Lawmore Man and then they this is so stupid

no it's not And then Pierce Broston, the kid, run out, and the whole building blows up. And they're like, oh, thank God, Lawmore Man was defeated. The building blew up before he'd go into the internet. But then the phone start ringing. They're like, oh, rot, row. And then it's like, you know, the end. Oh, really?

That's the end right there, yeah. Okay. What happens in Law & War Man 2? I have not seen Lawmore Man 2. I do know that they actually spoke to a number of comic book writers. that I like, and they want to turn into the X-Men. So their plan was that they have like

turn into more a superhero style thing, all right? But that plan felt... Charles Xavier just comes out on a ride-on lawnmour. Logan, you must help me. Do it as a gardener. So, but they realized that would be

expensive. Yeah. So I think the direct-the-video one where it's like lady lawnmore man. Oh, so it's not even any of the original actor. No, they couldn't get anyone back from these two. Wow. So when they were filming two, Pierce Broson was filming Golden Eye. And for some reason he's taught Golden Eye

would be more successful than Lawmore Man too. Real fucking ungrateful bint. What whatever became of the Lordmore Man in real life? I'll look him up now actually. I'm interested. I don't take much right now, but let me look him up.

So I would recommend I'll show you the clips of Law & man are interesting it's it's if you ever watch the episode of community where the dean

has a virtual oh yeah that's based on law more that's the joke is it's based on movies oh I see

community did a reference to a movie there oh right if you can imagine something yeah

yeah okay good which we're not going to get that movie at all now with the writer

strike and the actor strike yeah yeah yeah we're news now you know

they canceled Deadpool three really well they canceled paused it but it

could go on for is that the one that's going have Wolverine. It's going to have Wolverine in it, yeah. By the way, how's that going to work? Isn't Wolverine like

really broody and moody and angry and stuff? Yeah, you're like, you know, how is the odd couple? You know, you're like, how's the odd couple going to work? They're not the same. They're not going to get along. Yeah. Like, you know, Deadpool's there making wise cracks and Logan's got like bipolar depression and can't get

out of bed, you know? Every time he slashes his wrists It just heals again It was like Oh Jeff Fattie is his name Fahy Yeah

So Jeff Fahey He was in an episode of Miami Voice Right He was in a movie called Impulse Okay He was in ABC's

The Marshall I've never heard of any of this He was in Planet Terror Directed by Robert Rueges Oh okay I've seen that He was in An episode of psych

And he was in a stage production of 12 angry men in London in 2014 12 angry lawnmower men That's good And uh Wow he's not done much at all It's weird because he's like so he's all ripped in the movie I think he at least do porn or something But like yeah it's like a very sad

He's in Darkman Tree Oh my God I didn't even know they made a Darkman too Yeah oh god It's like most of these credits here have no like what he was an easy rider to ride back i've never even heard of that it's a sequel to easy rider when did that come out 2012 never heard of it he was in uh the ride back i'm trying to see is there anything here that i've heard of before so this obviously ruined his career before it even got

started like was lawnmore man uh critical and commercial failure uh it's yes is the answer i don't know why it's really nice there but it's become something of like a joke not a kind of cult kind of film people like the kind of tech side of it and there's a lot of people who are into tech they like seeing you know that film hackers as well yes they like they kind of like

seeing like oh that's what they taught tech was like ha ha ha yeah and they get some enjoyment out with that where normal people like us what's it actually like you just uploading child porn and cyber bully and 12 year olds till they kill themselves yeah and that's good isn't it oh yeah

that's better than Angelina Jolene and Johnny Lee Miller and Matthew Lillard you fucking cunt I haven't seen hackers I haven't seen Eater now I know

the who's his name now there's some actor came out and says his favorite film ever Johnny Lee Miller No homelow one McCauley Culkin

Nicole Colkin That's said he's his favorite Well yeah I mean He's been He's been fucked and raped so much He's more retarded than the lawnmore man

Of course he likes fucking Hackers so that's all obviously about Long War Man I'll tell you I'll watch I'll watch Lawmore Man too for the crack I don't think you should

I like it to be good for you It'd be good for me now I also watch Festive or Festin Feston Yeah Now did you like Feston

You watched it Yeah yeah I liked it yeah I liked So Feston is a Dutch movie Yes As a Dog 1955 And when did you watch it

Probably about a year or two ago I'd say So I liked it a lot So it's basically It's about this family and the matriarch Patriarch. The dad is kind of like a Logan Roy type

and used it was like a kind of influence for Succession. For the pilot episode because the thing in Feston is they're a very rich family and they're all coming home for a big party for the dad and the pilot episode of Succession as they all gather for Logan's birthday. As the dad's birthday in this as well and one of the children's committed suicide

the daughter and the kind of like the premise is if you don't want to be spoiled then I don't know go away we'll spoil it for the crack you know

so tell you what if you like the podcast so far go watch festin then come back I mean to be honest you can still enjoy it

because yeah it's not it's not like a usual suspects yeah so the kind of premise is there's a family gathering the son gets up

to do a speech and in the speech he basically says like you know our dad fucked us Our dad molested us. He's a child molester.

It's like Freddy got fingered. But, uh, you know, a American remake with Rip Torn be so funny. I'm so angry there isn't an American remake of this. I'd love to watch that, actually. It'd be so funny. But it's like, you know, it's like set Rogan and all those boys, you know. It's like James Franco and all.

Dude, my dad, fuck me. Jonah Hill is the dad. It's like, nah, none of my kids can post sexy pics of them and bekees. and stop being friends with ripped buff surfer dudes God, fucking hell Jonah Hill's a pussy, isn't he?

Just that fucking whining pussy. I just hate him because he goes to therapy. That's literally the only reason I'll never go to therapy, I don't want to end up like Jonah Hill big freak, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to be cool like the dad invested. Yeah, yeah. The dad was pretty funny, I've said. He didn't tell us

a funny joke too. That one, yeah, when he's finally confronted and then what he says is just, I literally cheered when he did that yeah so then the whole kind of like the social kind of like

drama the whole thing is like so the son basically goes like my dad raped me he raped the sister and that's probably why she killed herself yeah and then everyone kind of just ignores him and then there's like another sibling who's like an alcoholic

and fucked up on drugs he's very funny actually he's the cool guy actually let's just try and cast the movie okay an American remake yeah you can't say Brian Cox for that. That's too obvious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to do that. I mean, De Niro maybe. He's

old and creepy looking. I think creepy De Niro would be fun, yeah. De Niro in that new movie looks mad creepy with little glasses. You know, Killers of Flower Moon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got those little glasses and he looks creepyish. Yeah, and he's just had a child with a, what was it, 12 year old or something? Yeah, another child died there. Oh, right, yeah. His grandson

died from fentanyl. What's very funny is his grandson kind of looked Native American, which is weird, you know, interesting. Was this a marketing ploy for Killers Moon, you know? Marty just comes in. Bobby, just one last favor, please. Okay.

So, I don't, De Niro would be actually good dad. Yeah. Fuck it, that'd be good, yeah. Okay, so who's... I'm all like, Sydney Sweeney for... All right. Someone. For anyone.

Yeah. So who's the son that's coming in to, like... I'm trying, it's hard to. spoil the party. It's hard to not just think Jeremy Strong and Kieran Koken and Sarah Snuck.

Is this hard to not just pick all them? There's a lot of DNA in succession from this and especially with the way the siblings kind of like fight and the bigger.

And even like the cinematography like it's Dogman 95 so obviously it's very kind of it's handheld, it's natural lighting, it's low five. But you can really see that like I remember watching Succession

the pilot especially in thinking, God, this is really aesthetically borrowing from the thick of it, that's what I thought Yeah, yeah And then people are like No, it's actually more in line with fest

And it's like, well, they both work together Well, that's right, I'm a fucking idiot I'm a worthless fucking idiot Fuck me in the face But they can both be true, James No, no I'm a fucking lawnmower man That's it

I'm gonna kill myself by eating a lawnmower I'm gonna just turn on a lawnmower And start eating it You got images like me looking at You're mowing the road just sparks and cement flying everywhere I can read mine you're thinking I'm a retard

I like this well when the black guy showed up yeah yeah and the black guy's like this family's crazy yeah and so yeah the kid announces that he was molested but then everyone just ignores him and carries on because it is it's very much

you know there's always that thing of like super ultra ultra wealthy families there's loads of incest and molestation yeah and they're they're incredibly good ignoring it yes like a lot of those people at the party they could be a child being molested at the party on the table and they all it's like oh yes

oh these hors d'oeuvres are just delicious oh so nice yes you have to like reach over the child being molested to get the caviar like oh just oh lovely. Yeah. The child's crying, but they just bring in a string quartet. It's like, b'r-bramp-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-h.

I liked how the chef was like, you know, fair play, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like, the actual working-class ones, like the working-class thing child molestation is bad, you know? And that's why they're plebs and pavos, because they don't have their mind in the game,

you know, you've got to have a killer instinct. You've got to be in it to win it. You're just not a killer. Yeah, yeah. So then, like you're kind of bringing like mentioning things and I can't quite remember them because it is a while ago but the

one great part I remember is when so he makes the announcement when everyone ignores him but then the son confronts him again is like why why did you do it why did you molest me and then the dad just goes it's the only thing you were good for

and just walks out and I was like yes don't you forget about me like a freeze frame with the arm raised in the air, you know. That was great. It was just like such a incredibly cold, horrible, vile moment.

Yeah. And I loved it. You look, that's what speaks to you, man. Yeah. People are all talking about like, you know, oh, Barbie or Oppenheimer, you're in a corner watching Festin, baby. Over and over again. Which, if you're looking for it online,

it's called the Celebration. Yes. In the English translation. Festin is the old gobbledygook language or whatever they call it. I liked how racist the old war as well. You know, and a song was like The Little Negro

I like that although they're all weird and racist all those people Isn't it like is it in the Netherlands where they have that black face festival Welcome to the festival of the blackfish They're black peat Oh it's black Pete, oh it's black man who steals all your things

So you have to shoot him He is a very lazy man Who cannot be trusted Around the beautiful white girls Oh black Pete comes out with his big smelly penis and makes the girls cry and this is

a festival we have every year it's like god damn to this day they're like we don't see the problems with Blackbeach is just a very funny lovable character that the children he makes them laugh it's like

mate full on Blackface parade just hundreds of people in Blackfeas marching and dancing and singing. Is it wrong? There's sometimes like some of the girls

are in blackface. I'm like, it's pretty sexy. Yeah, yeah. Why do some of them have BLM badges on their backpack? I mean,

over that country they have like just up oil. Yeah. Yeah. I bet you over there they think the whole BLM movement is to protect Black Pete to the festival.

It's like, yeah, finally, the shilly Americans realize culture. heritage. You've seen videos from America like, watch out, Black Pete. The cop is very mean to you. Why that man

put his knee on Black Beach neck is not fair. Festin is a good movie. Feston's good, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're really helping the world, I think. Do you have ended up saying on Jonah Hill? I think people are overreacting, by the way. He's just being a...

The Jonah Hill surfing thing, I was like, you're overreacting, this girl's a bitch, all right? But the, didn't he, like, kiss the 16-year-old? Yeah, so this girl... And you think that's cool, don't you? I think it's pretty cool. You're like, if you were in super bad, you get a pass from me, buddy. It's the same girl that sort of alleged Seth MacFarlane was inappropriate with her.

But yeah, she says that when... Seth MacFarlane? Yeah. Oh, I don't like her now. Oh, I love my American dad, you know. Good morning, USA. I've got a feeling it's got to be a wonderful date. This bitch is lying.

imagine like imagine getting fucked by him and he's doing like his Roger voice that'd be amazing you can do all the voices while he's coming inside you and you're like do Chris Griffin

he's like do it or else I'm going to say you rape me but yeah so she says that Jonah Hill forcibly kissed her when she was 16 and he was 24

it was at a gaffe party in Justin Long's house allegedly where allegedly a third member of the bro crew was having sex with a passed out teenager in a bedroom so all sorts of shenanigans

who's a third member? She didn't say I don't think he was anyone famous he was just a cool dude hanging on I loved that basically the turtle like the entourage getting pussy you know we need a new entourage

but we need like a dark entourage you know or sister just all rapists you know what I mean so yeah I don't think obviously Jonah Hill denies this allegation. But whatever, you know, the thing with the server girl, it was just him like putting up his boundaries and being a whiny little pussy. It's like, don't put up bikini

pictures or talk to sexy surfer dudes. Yeah. I look, you know. So wait a minute now. You're telling me, Jonah Hill can say, stop hanging out with surfer dudes. It's got like, remember that the owner of Clippers? Yes. It's kind of like a call back to that in a way. Yeah. I forget his name now. Sterling. Sterling. Donald Sterling. We're actually making a TV show about that right now. Really? I think it's shot, so we're okay. It's, um, I forget who's playing Donald Sterling.

Um, it's, I forget, I'll maybe look up in a second now. It's called the Sterling affair. That's awesome. But yeah, so remember that? It was a classic case where he was like, don't be hanging out with black guys and putting it on Instagram. Yeah, he's like, you can fuck them if you want, just don't take pictures. Yeah. And like, with Jonah Hill, he just put up his boundaries

because all these rich people, they they all speak in therapy, speak now. So that's the big backlash. It's like, oh, he's weaponizing therapy speak to be emotionally abusive. Women have been doing that for years, by the way. Yeah, like, when a woman does silent treatment on you,

is that not like manipulative and emotionally abusive? Also, I'm sorry, but her like taking these screenshots, is that not like a betrayal of trust or privacy? Look, whatever, Joan Hale is, you know, whatever, being a bit controlling and manipulative. But this bitch isn't innocent either, you know?

what I mean? Yeah. And let me tell you, that's 16-year-old, she can fuck off, dude. Oh, I've got good news,

man. I've got good news, yeah. The Sterling Affair, it's Ed O'Neill. Oh, my God. Ted Bundy is Donald Sterling. No,

Peck. Don't take pictures with the black guys, pig. Oh, hell, I'm just sucking their gags. I don't care about that.

Just don't take no pictures. Oh, it's going to be amazing. Love and marriage. Love and marriage. goes together like a black and garage

I can't always we get to Jonah Hill movie that's gonna be great yeah they're like yeah Ed O'Neill is Donald Sterling

I didn't know that by the way this is going to be amazing I was telling you I just white oh man we've already

talked with this in the podcast but like I'm just picture now so Donald Sterling I was telling you he'd bring these black guys around

and be like look how big he is yeah and he's mine yeah imagine look at that big black penis and it's mine

all my. Is Ed O'Neill doing that? It's going to be amazing. I've literally I've come. You are, I've never seen you this happy. I've come now. You are like a child at Christmas. I'm coming off. You're like a little Danish boy at the festival of black people.

This is in the bend diagram of stuff we love. This is probably the most accurate like you love Ed O'Neill. I do. I love racism. Everyone's happy, you know. But yeah, John Hill like um i don't know i think he's this gonna yeah i think he's like kind of like franco all those guys are slowly fading away i think we're all going to be only one standing i think they've really like

nobody no especially jona hill now like with the therapy and he's got tattoos and the blonde hair he looks weird he doesn't look good and his movies are all trash now and now he's like this whiny controlling manipulative pussy who's like uh-huh therapy like therapist are little vampires and the greatest people for therapists are actors and anyone that kind of creative feel they're so like

they're never happy I don't have as many Emmy oh Emma Stone is an Oscar and I don't yeah and it's just like it's not like therapy should be like you know really it should be like my mother died and I feel bad about

that and then you're psychedelics and the kind of controlled way and you get through that and you feel better afterwards but these guys, it's such like just like up in the year nonsense was like, Hulu didn't pick up my mini series and then you just like milk them as much money. It just keeps going and

going like Sisyphus. It's Sisyphus because they're being sissies about it and they keep rolling the big boulder, the emotional boulder up and it keeps rolling back Sisyfuss. That's what I call them. That could be something there. I could be a little movement you say. And I was like to Joan Hill

like he was very funny back when he was fat you know look I can empathize because I understand being a fat pussy who's like neurotic like oh do you think Brad Pitt sexier is in me well yeah obviously you stupid fat con like when I was a you know teenager like first few girlfriends I was very much like that but now thanks to the power of not just therapy but very strong anti-psychotic medication I'm so devoid of any sentiment that I could, much like Donald Sterling, watch a woman I love, in quotation

marks, watch her get piped up and dick down by a big black hog and I wouldn't feel a thing. Literally, wouldn't move. Thank you, SSRIs. Your heart rate wouldn't change. No, not at all. It'd just be very, very high for some reason. Constantly. Well, that's because I'm just afraid that he'll

pinch my watch. No, no, no, no, no. Well, I was telling you, Adam 22, like, land of the plug, um, the black guy, Jason Love is his name. Jason Love. L-U-V. And the black guy, Jason-

I'm about to give you the love bug, girl. Well, he gave her love bug and she ate it afterwards. She gobbled it up. People give him shit, but I think that's awesome, like. What? Like, you know, he's making- Did Adam 22 let a guy fuck his girl?

Yeah. On camera? Yeah, I mean, like, he's fucked. Like, it's funny because Andrew Tate was talking about it. And the way Andrew Tate talked about was like, he's a guy, and he married this girl, and now he's a black guy fucking his wife. and he just takes it

and that's what the Matrix wants and it's actually I forgot he talks about the Matrix this is what the Matrix wants to do he wants a black guy to come in and fuck your mother right there and you don't care you actually because of empowerment and feminism

you say go mom Yas Queen Slay girl and you watch your mother get fucked by a black guy while your dad's in a fucking coma and that's what the Matrix wants to do that's what they want Actually you want

I think we're over an hour there, right? I kind of wanted to get pissed and I like that a lot there, yeah. I had a good time today. That was, yeah. Yeah, it was hot and it's getting actually hotter now, but we timed it right where I think we got, we got, my energy is waning now, but we got there just in time. Is there anything else I forgot to talk about

we can talk about next week? Not really. I've been watching Star Trek again. Yeah. So we can talk with Star Trek next week. That's what the Matrix wants. The Matrix wants me to have to hear you talk about Star Trek. I watched the documentary about Oppenheimer. Oh yeah. It all might be good.

next week we just go through Oppenheimer's life to prepare, it'd be like a primer for the movie, and then when the movie comes out, we can go to... Was the documentary good? Is it interesting? It is interesting now, like, here's thing, so Christopher Nolan, you know, love and or hate him, some movies I like, some movies I think are

dog shit, like Tenet. Yeah, yeah. Even the ones I kind of like, I don't like, I don't know, like, Dunkirk I like, but I don't know if I'm already want to sit down and watch it again. Yeah. Although, I might, yeah, actually, I watched a video a while ago of Tarantino, like, basically like whanked himself over

how much he loved Duncirk. He says it's like one of the best movies of the 2010s. Yeah. He fricking loves it. I don't know. I mean, I just, maybe I didn't like it, but I mean,

hey, I mean, who knows more about film? Tarantino or Cadden. We'll let the people decide that one, you know? I mean, both parties make it points I feel. Maybe I also have an Israeli wife. Who knows?

Who knows? Who knows, indeed? So I might go back and watch Duncirk. My point is, okay, it's an interesting story. So if you're a competent director, it'd be hard to fuck it up. Yeah. And there's such a good cast in it that I think I just enjoy seeing, you know. Yeah.

You got Robert Downey Jr. playing non-ironman, which is fun. That is good, yeah. And you got, like, I think you got like... Josh Peck. You got Asafty in there as well, you know, and you got like Gary Oldman as Truman. Am I right? Is Josh Peck in it? He is, yeah, yeah. That's so weird.

Jack Quaid is in there. Yeah. Also, something funny, a little preview there. Truman is so mean to Oppenheimer Like Oppenheimer's like I've given you a bomb to blow up the Japanese And win the war Yeah

But then afterwards like Truman's like you're a nerd Basically Basically yeah He's just like those book kids You know You're one of the book kids But then afterwards like

Oppenheimer's like I feel slightly guilty About killing all those Japanese civilians Are right Sure And then literally like Truman's like Oh what a lily liver right there

Yeah Lily liver That's amazing We need to bring back that old time Like you know I'm going to replace all this TikTok slags Like hey Lily liver

Yellowbellied cotton picking Actually I'm starting to see Why maybe that wouldn't be Quite so popular It's giving Lily Liver vibes Let's just end it there I got to get pissed

Maybe we get some food How about that Yeah that'd be nice Would like some Chinese? I would Yeah Okay, okay. Bye.

Goodbye.