Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 208 : Who Killed Jill Dando???

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Jill was killed for half a monkey.....

All right, really. We're back for a free one, the last free one of the month. A lot of stuff is going on. Let me tell you, I was a bit tired a minute ago. Now I'm really hyper, okay? Like, seriously. So I've got protein butter, iron brew, coffee, and scampy fries right there. I'm just kind of having a real pick and mix.

Putting into a big blender right there. Just shoot it straight, dude, intravenous. And then I just put a raw egg in there as well. It was like that all kind of leveled up right there, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll kill all the cancer. I'm feeling pretty good right now. even though I went to the shop there

a minute ago to get my arm brew slash scampy fry slash protein bar okay and there's a little girl in the shop and she was being all cute and all don't look at me like that all right I didn't say anything no there's a shop attendant there right and little girl was like going like you can't see me

like that and everyone in the shop's laughing at the little girl okay yeah I got a bit jealous of the little girl yeah a little bit I was like why do you all like the little girl more than me and then he dude's like oh I'm hiding too. It's like, there's a sex pest at the shop called the police. I was seeding right there. I need to work on my jealousy. I think, you have career jealousy and I have real world jealousy.

I don't have, okay. Well, what? A bit of jealousy is healthy. Explain that. No, I mean, jealousy is healthy. So I think most people have, um, um, career jealousy. They see, like, their boss and they're like, oh, she just got there because she sucked off someone. Yes. Or you're like, me. Or like, oh, James A. Caster, he's just there because he sucked off somebody. You know, I'm funnier than him, you know. That's normal, all right, you know. Like, if you see, if you see Sting, all right, you're going to be, that's a natural jealousy of being like, I wish I was Sting. Some fucking lymie fruit cake who fucking does yoga and shit.

Look, you're fucking deflecting. You're deflected there. Like, you don't want me friends with Shaggy. All right, yeah, cool. But I have, like, by the way, sting, you're. the only guy in 2023 who's getting away with doing the black voice, you know, all of his

songs, oh, I'm walking on the moon, bea-de-bye and I blaze up that ting, and I'm blime in a zoota. And nobody, even though he's like a 70-year-old white man from England. It's inspiring. See, look, you're jealous.

You're jealous. You're right, I am, jealous. But I have jealousy of this, like, it's weird, it's unhealthy, okay? We're like, this is someone talking. I'm like, why are you talking and not me you know someone's telling the story right thing like I should be telling a story instead I kind of lash out I've gone better at now

but I've kind of just realized how unlikable I am you've just realized that and how it come off sometimes like I have to really bite my tongue you know right right right like I just want to like they start talking about something they like if I don't like it I'm not in the say

then I'm just like that's stupid actually you know start making little snarky comments yeah I need a step back there and allow the little girl to have fun and not be in the corner seeding and just breaking chopsticks just out of anger, you know? Yeah, yeah. So I had a good time in the shop.

You and the little girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, where was the parents of this child? Oh, they're all laughing as well. The parents were there. There was on a big laugh fucking riot right there, yeah. Well, I tell you, if I had behaved that way in a shop, my mother, she wouldn't even wait to take me home. She'd start slapping me in public

in front of people. I would have loved that. That's how sick I am. I'd be like, hope that girl gets whacked. Like peshy goodfellas. Put a bit of manners on it. Yeah. So we were downstairs and we're watching some things, watch a late, late show.

Yes. And raw. Everyone was like, Brian, please turn off the late late show. But you were like, no, I'm a Patrick Keelty Stan. Is this another example of me being unlikable? No, no. Okay, right, good, good. You know, yeah.

Just very annoying. So we'll talk about late, late show. I mean, what can you say? What can't I say? No, shut up. All right. Sorry, got defensive there. It's a scampy fries.

And then we can also talk about Biden's dog. Okay. DJ Carey. Right. Jill Dando. Oh, wow. Yeah. This is all the big things from the 90s.

DJ Carey, Jill Dando, Biden's dog. DJ Kerry, he's caught faking cancer. Yeah. No, he, is it like it was a money swindle of some kind. Man, he took a picture of himself in the hospital, quotation marks. He used a phone charger up his nose. Are you serious? Seriously, yeah. I'll show you the picture. That is amazing. There's some duct tape and a phone charger up his nose. He was like, to keep me was working, well keep sending me money. Are you serious? Otherwise, Cucetti won't

win. What a fucking legend. This dude rocks. DJ Cary. Man, DJ Cater. Like, there needs to be a book done and because Ireland's way too litigious. Like, it's so easy to get away with rape and murder in this country, okay? As you'll find out. Sure is. Because they have things called slaps. Huh? Heard of slaps.

What's that? Slap. So slaps are these lawsuits you can get. Okay. That muzzle people, all right? Oh, like a super injunction. Like a defamation thing, all right? It's a warning almost.

So it doesn't really do. So let's say, let's say I'm a wealthy businessman, all right? And you're a woman. Okay, yeah. So I rape you, all right? Or let's even, let's do that. Let's lower it down. It'll lower the stakes,

alright? Because rape is a loaded word. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's say I just grab your tits. Okay. All right. And you want to go to court

like that, okay? Even if you're 100% in the right and you've got video of me touch your tits and all that, right? I'll still put a slap lawsuit like, that's actually defamation of character, all right? Okay, even if it's true.

And even if it's true, it's still going to go to court, all right? You're going to lose money as well. There's no guarantee you'll win because I've got better lawyers. Right. And it's easier if you,

just to shut the fuck up all right and it's like this with these hurlers and you were explaining all this to the little girl in the shop yeah yeah so you always say you play peekaboo and having fun why you shut the fuck up I'll get my lawyers and we'll play a peek-a-joo

huh? Don't take that out of context it's playful it's not hateful yeah he's a lovely Jewish man all right he's not wrong with that so these hurlers get away with so much

right there. It's not just herders, but like it's also rich, famous, wealthy people of Ireland there, right? But it's the hurlers are the fun ones, okay? They're always getting caught weird things like they fucking molested a baby in a wheelbarrow or something. There's something like, you know, just extra. Yeah, and they sue the wheelbarrow

for defamation. Wait, why was DJ Kerry pretended have cancer just like a go fund me for money, like? No, I think he was talking, I think he was, I think he was getting sued for something else. Yeah, I heard him and his sister were involved in some kind of like dodgy property

his cancer was so funny no no his sister should say cancer sister same thing all right like his sister literally was like I do an investment company you give me all your money alright yeah and I'm DJ Carey's sister so I know you come on and like you can trust me do it for the cats yeah the cats that's what they call Kilkenny

oh right yeah so yeah just give his sister all the money and then she's like actually it's all gone now sure up DJ Carey spent it on hurling balls or whatever they're called Yeah, but So she was stealing money And he got right off As well from AIB

Where they Oh, during the recession After I think, yeah Oh wow Yeah, after recession We're all in austerity, all right There was a 9.1 million dollar He just walked into AIB

With a charger up his nose Come on, hurry up I've got places to be Yeah, yeah I think we need to do With some stage And actually there's The Maria would know more about this now

She lives all the goss now but all like the gai players have been accused of stuff and it's been what and there's some funny stuff and some awful stuff as well you know like top shagger stuff and funny stuff as well right there like there's some stuff about like you know being leaked on gay websites

and then like you know attacking their gay lover for saying they're gay and stuff like that you know like juicy East Ender stuff I heard about the guy with he played for Tyrone I think he like lost all his money in gambling so he did gay porn to make money

money. And then it all came out. Proper East Ender stuff right there. But he's not gay. He just did it for the money. He's gay for the money. He's gay for pay. That's so much sex. In the gay community, that's so much sexier. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want someone who's into it. No. God, no. Yeah, yeah. What is this Victorian times?

That is so boring. Somebody's like into it. It's like, yes. I want to be here. Yeah. Well, my erection's gone. Possibly forever. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Well, what else do we watch? A few more things. Let me, let's get back to the Late Late Show and Raw.

Okay. It's fresh your mind. So Patrick Kilty is the new host of Late Late Show. Yes. And I watched the episode last week. And then we watched the newest episode downstairs together. Yeah. Yeah. His monologue is annoying.

He's a little smile, like, naughty school boy kind of smile. He didn't do too much jokes in this one we watched. But the last one, he was in lots of jokes about, like, Oh, it's good to have a RT on after news. Not, no, so, I fucked it up. Not as easy as it looks, eh, Brian? Yeah, maybe if your father was shot dead by Protestants, you'd have a bit of better comic timing, you know?

They're just about iron brew, right? No, it's good to be late latehade show on after news and not during the news. Aha. Because I suppose they were in the news for quite a bit there with the whole turbidy thing. Exactly, yeah. Right, right, right. Did that get a laugh? It does, yeah.

No, because his monologue this week, he didn't get a lot of laughs. I didn't get a lot of jokes. Well, okay. Well, that doesn't show much to me. I don't know what's happening, you know? But, like, yeah, I can't even remember jokes now, but it was like a lot, he does a little joke, a little, like, and it moves on to the next one. A little, like, cheeky for the grannies, you know? Yes, even though he's 50.

Yeah, well, he's got that biased charm to him. He still, he looks good, like. Oh, I'd do him. Yeah. I'd shag him. Yeah, you wish, pal. he's banging Cat Deely Yeah well Cat Deely watches

And she's like no Brian no I'm like He fucking loves there I'm that you little slag Tell Anthony Jekko said aloud So keep in touch So The first people are like So new host

What will the way to show go You know Because you know Back in the day gay burn It was real kind of groundbreaking It was easy to be groundbreaking Back in a day Because nobody had done it before

Yeah He used to have a like fucking A gay guy on And they're like whoa And it's like, you know, gay Bernie, be like, you're gay, I'm gay, but very different. But only one of us is going to heaven. Yeah, but even less than that, just like...

The meaning of life with gay man. Oh, do you love cock? I just got. Oh, I love cock, me. Yes, this show is not popular. We're not doing well. It's not playing well in Meath and Sligo. But man, literally back in the day, like,

you have a woman on who got divorced. and they'll be poking her with sticks and be like King Kong you know, she's in a cage to be like a dude in a white lab coat I tested her blood 48% ion

and estrogen but then Pat Kenny was way more like see Pat Kenny I feel like he cared more about the current affairs so he liked that and he had a guest

on everyone again he'd be like oh so you're Colin Farrell are you but doing acting now are you I saw the video of you breakfast lunch and dinner

and what did your parents think of you fornicating with a oh I better not say Yeah And then Tuberty was trying to be more like the I'm a nice guy Ooh yeah I think Tuberty he saw what was successful

With the other hosts And he was trying to be a bit more Wacky fun But then a little bit like It's okay for a late show host to cry some time. So you have like a woman on who got like, you know, she got mugged outside, you know, she got

mugged on the Ballymon Road and he'd like talk to her and he'd be like, I feel sad. It's like I got mugged emotionally. Of course I'd never be in that disgusting area with those dog people. Like yourself. So people wonder like Kilty now, will he used to do full comedy or what?

It's going to be hard. Because the format and the history and the audience and the producers and the station are all very against him in that sense. If he's coming on trying to be fun, he's wading in against the tides of

mundane mediocrity that crash against him. Like mediocrity and misery are like literally in the walls themselves in that building right there. You can't get that out. It's like a like you have to get an exorcist to get out right there and even then it wouldn't work. Full poltergeist job

and yeah no look. It's it's a thankless job to anyone who takes it. I can't imagine he'll stay at it for very long. I don't know. I don't know. I think if he was smart, he'd do it for a while to be like, look, I can do this. Imagine what I could do. In America. You know, it's like, it's like a good athlete on a shitty team. Right. You know, be like, you know, I'll do my little bit here, you know, but then people see me and you think like, I need to get

him out and put him in a good team right there. There's a movie coming out now with him in it. He's in it, yeah. Like a kind of dark indie drama. You know what? It was him, it'd be like Doctor Who's, you know, like Doctor Who's, just to do three years and try and move on with your career. Yeah, yeah. Right there. So his first guest, and he was Tommy and Hector.

Oh. He tried to start off, you know, on a high note, yeah. How was that? Tommy had the beard. He was kind of sad Tommy. Oh, I see. He was insightful Tommy, you know? Right.

And Hector was Hector, you know. Hector's looking old. Rahoo, Rahoo. Now it's put it, Ra, hoo. He's got Alzheimer's now. He's like, Ra, who are you? And then, after that, he had a few other people on, like, he had, like, oh, who's it now?

The last guest was, like, a man, he's a football player in Derry who got sectarian abuse. And he was like, it's hard of my life. Shocking. Yeah, stop the presses. By the way, it wasn't Tommy the frontrunner. So it was like, my first guest, the guy who didn't get the job. Now we know why Tommy was so sad. they're paying you how much shots

yeah tommy spills those antidepressants into the floor don't bother picking them up I won't need them yeah and then he had like some this musician group on I forget what they're called now they're kind of well known I suppose they've got like RT2 airplay and they do like trad music but like

I swear to I think it's like Screlex trad oh it's like trad but if Screlex got involved Oh really? Like DJ? Jit, jit, jit, jit, jit. Yeah. I mean, we already had that with the dance remix of Fields of Athenroy. It's like that, but imagine that's the whole gimmick, yeah.

So, okay, I don't know who that could be. Wait, it's not fucking kneecap, was it? No, no, no, no, no. You know kneecap, you're hip. I know kneecap. I'm not too fond of kneecap now. They haven't won me over. Oh, really?

Yeah, they haven't appeared on the Adam 22 shows yet. Interesting. When they do that, yeah. I just don't know, like, if, kneecap actually try to make it in America there? I don't know how Little Dirk would respond to Neacap. Let's just say that. Interesting to say that because

the, like, they just had some kind of feature in like an LA article, LA magazine. Like some like reporter from Hollywood came over and like spent time with them. So, you know, eat your words, young man. Gobbled them whole.

You know me, I love to gobble, said the actor of the bishop. No, not of that. But you know what, like, you send them over to Boston on Paddy's Day. Every dirty white trash Mick Cunt would stop beating his wife and come out with a fucking Boston Celtics tattoos. Like, oh yeah, it's your fucking kneecap, guys. Well, you look, I wish them the best, you know.

I just want to see him. You know, they talk like quays, but they're actually pretty good, huh? Yeah, you know, I'm doing tough love with kneecap, you know. I'm like, maybe if you work harder, I'll respect you. Okay. Although I do hear they've got a movie working on some

of the film I think Yeah Documentary So that's good Oh no Sorry No it's like a

Like a wacky feature film I heard a wacky feature film This could be Our Generations Borat man Oh man Aye My way

Barry Nage Chen Kui He didn't have Neacap on the show He didn't have Patrick Kilty's Pussy man He didn't have kneecap

On there Because they're The thing about kneecap is And I do respect for this. They are, uh, they don't like bite their tongue when it talks about like, uh, the Brits. Yeah. They're very like unforgivings.

Like, uh, oh, I'm sorry. Our Rass songs making you sad. Oh, boo-hoo. You know what made us sad. Your imperialism and, you know, they really give it to them raw, man. I can't wait till Neacap become bigger and then they start talking about them on like G. G.B. News. Imagine Lenny Bruce, but if he was from some Kip in Belfast. That's what we're talking about here.

with good tunes. I'm more of a Lenny Henry fan actually. That's my style. Yeah. There's another white man who's allowed to do the black voice. Yeah,

I'm now with the bomb a clot. That's me calling him white. Yeah. That's how punk rock I am. I'm blacker than Lenny Henry. There, I said it. I've lost training to talk there. So I was just going to say,

if I was host on late-lade show, I have kneecap on the first episode. Just to teach people It's not edgy Like the house band Like the roots Yeah Man yeah

Oh I get the roots instead Yeah I get them The roots Yeah They're desperate You know Your name is Toby

No it's not That's tearing him Your name is Toby Oshah you can't you So we watch the second episode then And starts off

A weird fucking group of people It's like Jimmy Nesbit James Nesbit Yeah Vogue Williams Vogue put Muslims in the Camp Williams

Alright Which is funny wearing this big kind of flowery feathered dress kind of change Like a feather boa skinny jeans And high heels You know her and McNali are doing like a sex show now I thought yeah Wait this is different to my therapist ghosted

No I mean it's a TV show where they go to like Thailand And they're like oh it's crazy Oh they do sex tourism and have sex with children Yeah yeah yeah It's pretty funny It is very fun That's a pretty big. I pitched that.

That's my intellectual property. Nobody in television thought about having sex with children till I give a alone. So you're a child prostitute, are you? That's mad. You love the Prosecco, do you? You're on the Prosecco Express. Is that what they put your parents on

when they took them to the camps? Oh my God. The absolute strange of you. Oh, my God. you're actually just a little ooh oh I love those flies buzzing around your head

are they proud I'll say to the flies who are you wearing is a designer oh your ass would be scarlet literally because of the blood anyway so who else

who's your other guest Baz Ashwami Yeah Baz who is Baz What this is we're gas being gaslight Okay he's been around He's been around for a minute

They keep asking, they keep acting like Baz as like a national treasure. He's like a TV presenter, but like he was kind of like the first exotic Irish man. You know what I mean? Like, because he's he's like half Egyptian or something. Oh, we had Paul McGrath before that. Yeah, but Paul McGraw

was never in a mosque, was it? Bob McGrath Talent Uh, uh, uh, Paul McGra. Yeah, I don't know who to fuck Bazaz Ashwami. Also, he didn't kill his mammy, by the way. Yes, that was the show. I would kill my mother. Yeah, first episode

We'll call it One Ways to Kill Your Manny And I'll just bash her fucking skull in with a brick Yeah Also drink driver So there you go Okay So he is Irish after all

Hey Am I right, is he half Egyptian Or? You love guessing, don't you? Well, he's definitely Because he had a show about Muslim Irish He's part Egyptian, you're right, okay I hate saying you're right now.

Now you're going to be like, I guess I can just guess everyone's ethnicity. You, sir. I'm thinking. Africa, darkest Africa. But, South Sahara in Africa. So, yeah, so it was the three of them on.

This is a new thing. We've never seen this before, multiple guests. He gets him on like Graham Norton, yeah. But it's unlike Graham Norton, it's like, See, at Graeme Norton, they get them nice and hammered. Whereas RTE are fucking stingy cunts. They'll not give them anything. RTE, you have to pay for your own.

There's a vending machine there, and Jimmy Nesbis. Like, anyone got any coins? I only have pounds. Have you any euros? Oh my God, don't even look at me, you disgusting worm. Man, James Nesbitt, by the way, national treasure. He's great. Do you see indignity of like, okay, now Vogue's going to talk over you?

Yeah. There, you're in fucking these amazing movies. I can't think of any right now. Sunday Sunday? Yes, exactly, yeah. Great movie right there. And what was Vogue doing when that was on? Getting her, getting some pipe. Bloody Sunday, yeah. When she's on your rag,

maybe. Lads, lots, lads. Wop the boys. And that, Egyptian, more like Egyptian. Lads, lots, lads, wop the boys. My neckcap would love us. Where's intelligent as they are with our

political commentary? They had a woman. Remember the woman they had with 12 children? Yeah. Man, that's disgusting. No, they don't be sexist now. That is, but she's not human at that point. You're basically a revolving door with opinions.

Your fucking gie is just quiffing out Asbo after Asbo in their bright shell track suits and their cheap jewelry. Oh, thanks a lot, love, for your contribution. Yeah, good, yeah. Well, I don't want to be like that. final kick at the

empire when it's down on its knees because of people like you, you scum. Well, I thought it was she was endearing. So there's a woman she's 40. Yeah. So 12 kids. She's 40 of 12 kids. She left school at 15.

15 and apparently has been in a hospital bed since. Oh! And her husband looked so depressed. He looked dead inside, didn't he? Very much so. Patrick Kilty's talking to this woman. and be like, and how are you getting on you?

And you're doing this, are you getting 12 children? That's a lot, isn't it? He's just like not even looking, not responding, just staring straight into the camera. Staring, dead-eyed into the camera. Like, I genuinely think he was on, like, Xanax or something. Like, he's on, maybe sipping on that lean, you know? On that scissor. I'd respect him if he was.

Well, 12 kids. Yeah, I don't know. He doesn't look like he's much of a grafter or something. If you have 12 kids and you don't kill yourself, there's something wrong with you. Yes, for it. I think, yeah. I even think, you know, If you have one and you don't kill yourself, what do you do it?

It's like, there you go. There's the exit strategy right there. Pull the shoot. Come on. Fire in the hole. Let's go. Yeah. So it was very weird.

But she's going back to medical school. She's going to become a doctor right there. She's going to be a doctor. Right, okay. Yeah. She learns about condoms in medical school. She's like, what? You dirty beggar.

And then so then, then it was this awkward because she was a bad actress so it's like how you're doing there and what's your age like oh we had this in the pre-interview oh yeah sorry I'm 40 this is my first time talking to you yeah like that she wasn't very natural her dead-eyed androgynous Xanax addicted husband wife was more believable he was quite androgynous looking

he kind of looked like an old woman he had like gray hair and old bitty glasses then after that they end they always ended on a sad note so the first episode they had like, sectarian bullying and this episode It's not even a thing what somebody called you a prod

That's it That's the sob story It used to be kids with cancer Remember that autistic Who was like Remember the He was he was a He was pro 9-11

Yes So yeah Tuberty goes So like the whole segment The parents are there With this autistic child It's like And it can be very difficult

Raised and it's all about Awareness It's like And so what would you like to do What are you interested in What would you like to do for a job, driving planes into buildings, driving planes into skyscrapers. But Tomari's a professional, he's like, well, you probably can't do that, so is there

anything else? I'd like to go to Iraq and become a terrorist. Okay, we're going to break. Well, this guy literally, he's us. He's us. You're laughing at me, like, yeah, that's you. That's you, that is. I didn't even get on the late late show, so, you know.

I respect kids like that, you know. I think he's definitely dead. Has to be No, he's doing better than us I guarantee I guarantee he's actually rich right now

An Irish 9-11 maybe No no He's so detached And so he doesn't have Emotion weighs you down You have empathy James Do I? Yeah

Waze you down He's cut trot In the business world Right there He's probably big into Tate And he's a zillionaire right now He's probably got a few Sugar Babies

Okay Yeah I hope so anyway But you're right He's probably dead Yeah that's more likely. Speaking of dead, that's a good segue actually.

I watched a thing about Jill Dando there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Because they have a new documentary out called Who Killed Jill Dando. I kind of went into it

in a bad mood. Was it a Bino or a Dando? Well, no, that doesn't work. No, it doesn't. Let's take it again. From the top. And what's this called? Jill Dando.

Which Dando's a weird name. It is. It just, you think of Dildo straight away. Jill Dando. the letters are there, you think Dildo. If I hear Dead Woman, I think Dildo. This documentary, BBC,

and it's got that, not BBC, it's Netflix, it's Netflix, all right? Yes. And it's got that Netflix kind of cheap, slick, exploitative, kind of, you know, their documentaries, are always too long, and they've got recreations, and... Yeah, like, overly stylized,

even though it's just somebody, like, making a cup of tea. Yeah, literally, they'll have, like, someone driving, then sitting down and putting on their... Mike and him like, oh, we're starting now we're going to talk about Jill and a Netflix production. Oh, Jill, you know. The thing about Jill is

she really liked being alive. You see, it was my interpretation of her character. So, to be dead, I think is something that she probably wouldn't have liked, you know. And, yeah,

I just think. They literally start off like She was the people's princess Like literally like that You know She was more She was actually better than Diana She made Diana

Like like a slag whore I'll tell you something About Jill Dando She never sucked off A muzzle Did she So, yeah That's all I'm seeing

Like they're like She was the people's princess And they all love Crime Watch For Crime Watch Crime Watch right there Yeah And she's even nice

I'm not gonna like Slag her You know You probably will Yeah I will Did I tell her her name sounds like Dildo yet?

She didn't feel powerful, yeah But so she got shot then Outside of her gaff She's walking from a car to her house It's like a few steps She got shot Broad daylight Silence or maybe

And nobody knows who did it Immigrants Done Well that's Yeah It's a five second documentary Immigants The End

Why Question mark The end The end or the beginning Of our empire a crumbling. This is what happens when you let them in. They're bloody smoking

their spliff, spluffs, in it? And listening to their bloody gollywood music. They're going to kill all the Jill Dandoes they can find. Anyway. Anyway, so this documentary proposes to tell us

who actually shot Jillando. It doesn't. Oh, good. Yeah, they never do. No. So I went in with a bad mood where they're like, they're fucking mugging me off, you know? Because I know they don't know. Yeah. I know we haven't found a guy. Because I'm not in jail.

So I know they don't get the guy. I must be upsetting for like, you know, the guy who actually dated. And it's like, oh, am I really going to watch? I know how, I know they don't get him at the end. I'm here in the gaff. Anyway, recording my podcast. So they kind of just give a brief history of who she was. Yes.

Her BBC career. How much was loved. then the murder, then the response to it, and it's all very kind of boring, boring, boring. But then in episode 3 of 3, they introduce a guy, and I want to get his name right, I think his name's like George Barry or Barry George. I'll get up his name now.

Barry George, that's it, yeah. Barry George, right on. Barry George was the prime suspect. Okay. He lived nearby, local weirdo. Ah. And let me just say, if you're a... Lightman?

If you're a policeman listening, all right? Yeah. If you want to make your life easy, just blame the weirdo. And the weirdo is so weird He will just like He won't ask for a lawyer Yeah

All right So he'll just like You did it did you He'd be like I would like to represent myself Your Honor Esteemed gentleman Thank you for gathering for me

Yeah Let us begin The bar to process I offer you 12 jellybees And a half-eaten Stinger bar Any take us

So if you're a cop all right, you're rubbing your hands, like, oh, this is easy pickings up. He's up. There's so like, they're pumping out spastics by the dozen these days, you know? The same way, you know, the CIA, they're like, let's find a mentally ill Muslim, give him a gun. I'm getting a medal, right there, yeah.

That's it. You want to blow up those buildings, don't you? Like, hello? He's like, yes, you do. Come on, into jail now. I'm a hero right there. I'm like Jack Bauer from 24. Yes. But better. So, this guy lives nearby gun enthusiast.

All right, that's the start, all right. And Jill Dando, shot by a gun. Oh! Also, witnesses saw a guy with a coat. Yeah. All right. Near the crime scene, this guy owns a coat. So the pieces are coming to...

Too many, too many coincidences. So to do some investigation in this guy, he's a real kind of, like, lemmy of mice and men, like, hello? Right. How are you? Yes. Like that. So he first became famous because he was always. the news years ago

because he said he could jump over four buses on roller skates I swear to you and they have the footage and did he land it? No, he broke his spine really? Yeah, yeah

Oh my God He made three buses In fairness he went over the ramp went over three Wacked over the fort one and landed on his back Wow Or no you land on his front

That's it yeah And he broke his back That's it Was he spastic Like retarded before that Well he was medically That didn't help He didn't help, yeah.

So he recovered anyway, but. Well, he couldn't tell the difference between three and four. He meant to say three, but he said. So he recovered, but then he kept telling everyone he was Freddie Mercury's cousin. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. And then he would go, and also, like, he had a kind of history.

Now, in fairness, he had a little bit of a history of some weird stuff. Like, he was at, they found him outside Diana's house with a, with a rope. Uh-huh. Yeah, dressed up in, like, camel gear. Ah, that's a bad luck. And also, he got a cute. of attacking some women and stuff like that, all right?

So he's a local character. He's a Jack the lad. Yeah, yeah. That's Barry George right there, okay? They find him like, oh, you probably did it, didn't you? And he's like, oh, no. But like, they're like, yeah, that means yes. Go on, in the jail, in the jail right there.

And you know the thing I'm annoyed by here? So they actually arrested him for him? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. I'm annoyed, because they keep interviewing Barry George's sister, all right? And Barry George's sister's like, he was the sweetest little boy

when we were growing up and he just, he lived a world of fantasy and imagination and he was too sweet for this world and never like

The age of consent doesn't really factor into his child like imagination But they never go like What about the times Your brother You know

Took his cock out on the bus Yeah Or it's like you know The attacking women Or like the Trying to Strangle Princess Diana stuff You never ask her

About that right there Which is a little bit Suspect I think Okay So he goes to jail for this Damn Yeah he they arrest him for this and goes to court

have to do a real trial so it just happened like he only came out like 2007 or four holy shit wait when was she murdered like 90 I don't know now okay 95 I don't know maybe it was my birthday I watched it I yeah I don't know the dates

or no doubt I watched it while I'll look on my phone you talk I can't talk you can you were doing it oh I've lost all confidence now it's like when your mother watches you do a handstand and you shit yourself Your mother, what did you do a hand job?

Oh, 1999. April 26, 1999, only a few days after Columbine. Oh, there you go. Dylan, what are you up to? So, like... Columbine was a distraction to really get out the main target. Now, there's an... So he goes to jail and have a retrial, and he gets out on the end.

And he got a big, big check from the British government. Okay. He also got extra money from the sun and places. like that, like the tabloids, because he got out. Barry George Nantes, freak. No, he got out and they were like, not guilty. And the son was printing headlines like, you know, Pido freak, weirdo with weird eyebrows, not Pido allegedly.

Oh, it's so funny. They actually interviewed a guy. They have Barry in the documentary. Okay. And he's really, he's really heavy like Gandalfini now. He's got very big. Okay. He's like, I just like guns.

But I wouldn't shoot anybody. Unless they try to take my hapsammerger. These are my hapsych. So it's kind of like almost like the Barry George documentary for a good bit. And at the very end, they're like and you know, I guess we'll never really know who it was. It wasn't

Barry George. Maybe it was Yugoslavia because a lot of Yugoslavian gangsters were connected. And you're like, what? What? Really? Yeah. Or maybe it's the IRA because, you know, the IRA. Also, there's a lot of IRA activity. Hello? I would like to

have a little tertiary glance at that perchance and you know they're also like and then some people in the internet think it's something

to do with paedophiles and I think Prince Andrews a pedophile those people are set eh eh yeah in your little computers take you just

pedophiles in the world well why don't you grow up she was going to break the Saville's story way back then that was the word on the street

you probably think Saville's a pedophile that ha ha ha A little conspiracy mind Yeah Yeah There is a whole

Pedophile connection in this That they do not cover at all out there Or even just fact Like she was silenced by Anyone involved in the British government Or anyone with that They kind of go like It wasn't a weirdo

The end That's really They needed three episodes for that Yeah If you I tell you what If it was Marker that's like

You know A beloved presenter died And this guy They all taught It was him but his sister believe it's something like that but it's all Jill Dano

Jill Dano Jill Dano and I wish to go into a Yugoslavian thing because like I never even heard that theory Yeah I again I don't know anything about it

because I didn't go into it But like there's a guy Something guy called like you know The fucking you know The rhino Like some guy like that Who's like this well-known hit man That was hanging around the area

Right Yeah yeah And the big thing is Cause it was right at our house It was like literally a few steps From a character house Yeah They're saying that Barry George wouldn't even have the mental capacity to, like, plan it out and have the gun.

Yeah, I mean, it was obviously very well executed because it was one shot in the daylight and nobody. One shot and, like, a proper, like, almost like, like, drive, where, like, you walk in now, you just drop everything off in the bin, you put on a baseball cap and you're walking to a crowd. Yeah. You get into a car, get another car. Like, it's like, so no one can follow you. It's like, it's really quick and there's no, like, oh, shit, man, I did it. Oh, the moral implications. You like take out a copy of the philosopher's stone

and try to escape into the book, you know? You nearly spat out your iron brew there. I love my philosopher's references. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so, I mean, it points to, like, an actual, like, you know, competent hit man. You know, the worst part of it? Do you have to interview Cockney Gangster, all right?

This guy is a Cockney Gangs. He's like, yeah, I was in the criminal underworld I was, yeah? I heard you got killed for half a monkey Yeah Yeah And they're like Okay What's

What's half a monkey Does he actually Is I use this? Half a monkey is a 250 Oh right A full monkey is 500 grand or something like that Yeah

What are some other animal A speckled head is a 10 Okay Yeah yeah And Lady Godiva is a fiver Oh wow Yeah yeah A score is

20. It's in the whole other world man. Yeah, the Cockney Raymond's. Yeah, so he's like, oh, she got killed, yeah? And I'm like, who did it? Oh, I do know, I tell you that. I know. Couldn't tell you. And they're like, could you give us a hint? No. Could you give us any kind of insight into like

why she was killed? Oh, I could, yeah. But I can't. I bloody know everything. But the geysers out there, the hard geysers, they come after me, see? That's me? Like, my life is under fret right now and then you just

turn out he's a bin man or something in the bin man community I heard rumblings yeah so he's just a completely dodder right yeah half a monkey that's great so it's a

kind of a waste right there I guarantee there's better YouTube videos about the case even at the end going there's all these YouTube videos about it oh oh waste of time that is right there let's just get the geyser

who's talking about half a monkey and so wait why would the Yugoslavian mafia want her dead was she like did she see the thing it's like because of the crime what's it called crime watch yeah because it's a crime watch connection

she was like she would be pissing off good few criminals okay yeah true so like that's thing like a lot of I could see like even just like you know one criminal is just like oh we're dead you know like that just pays her off

and look because crime Watch would stop a lot of crime and it would catch a lot of people from Crime Watch you know it was very proactive kind of show you know yeah but probably just like you know fucking you know

Nigel the cat burglar who broke into old women's houses and pissed in their face so apparently uh the Serbian warlord Arcon was named as a suspect but he died in 2000s uh huh yeah

so I'm just kind of reading about it now which is not that interesting but anyway look Jill Dan does RIP, your name sounds like a dildo. So there's some lines of a choir here. So here's some of the theories have. All right. Jealous

ex-boyfriend. Really? They say it's always the ones you know that assassinate you. Really? That's what they say, yeah? Another one is Bosnian or Serb or Yugoslavian. They're all the same, aren't they?

Yeah. Wait, did they ever go into like the jealous X theory? in the documentary? Deranged fan A case of mistaken identity Uh-huh Yeah, it's like they wanted to Who to, they were going to kill Lenny Henry instead

Got confused This one here Following the Jimmy Sable's sexual abuse scandal A game made Dano's investigating Peterfall ring in the 1990s No, because it was, it's documented that she was like investigating Like she had lines of inquiry

She handed a dossier complaint in her findings To the BBC management Yeah there you go hmm uh-huh who's a fat smelly retarded freak

now Brian it's still me but you are a dickhead Slah Winn Yeah let's look at Arcan Winning

Oh wow Look at Arcan This is a car Oh shit This dude rules This guy Arcon He's like dressed In like full military gear

And he's holding a baby tiger He's got a tiger And a whole army of dudes behind him. Yeah, he's got the whole RA behind him. Yeah, man, it's like a stag party in Kent.

Jesus, Arcon looks cool. Yeah, look this personally. So, Arcon, sorry about this guys. I'm just saying, Serbian mobster and also the head of Serbian paramilitary force. Wait, he's a mobster and,

whoa. He's in the Yugoslavian, Ra. Yeah. You go Ra. This is cool here. Many, many wives. You're just reading Wikipedia now. He was a, oh, I'm going

and watch a documentary about him tonight. Okay. That's great now. Cancel my plans, James. You didn't have any. Oh, shit, you're right. So that's Jill Dando right there.

I'm still going on with the smelly Pido freak theory. Yeah, I still believe in that right there as well. No, I don't want to discredit any Serbians, any, like, Mr. Archon right there, yeah. Because we could get him on. Oh, I'd love that he's dead, actually, yeah, but still, yeah. Have a son on. But, like, any other crap, I want to look at my list and see what else we can talk about now. Now, so we talked about that.

Jill Dando. We talked about other stuff. Sorry there, guys. Just looking at some other stuff here. No, we won't. No, he won't. Oh, really? I watch Patton.

Okay. I got into General Patton there, you know? Right. A real man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So General Patton, okay, during World War II. Okay.

He was one of the top, top guys, right? General. Generals right there, yeah. And he's interesting because he kept getting in trouble. He kept getting cancelled. Really? Really? Yeah, he kept saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing. Like what?

So, one stage you came, he went to visit all the troops that had been hurt in the military hospital. Okay. His guys there were like missing arms and missing legs. And there's one guy there who looks fine. He's like, what's wrong with you? He's like, I got PTSD. He's like, what the fuck? It starts beating him.

Whoa, really? He starts beating in front of all the other. He starts beating this like, you lazy bum. Yeah, get up right there. He starts beating him with like the stump leg from one of the animals. amputees. Hey, a piece of shit.

And then Eisenhower gets involved. He's like, you got to apologize. You can't beat up people with PTSD. And fucking this great war hero, Paton, has to get up front of the troops and be like,

Hello, everyone. I want to say I'm sorry for beating up the little coward. I know now that's wrong to beat up cowards, no matter how cowardly and how much they make you sick. Despite what a sneveling yellow

bellied little worm he is. My sincere apologies. And I like to retract a statement I made about his dog face cut wife and his retarded looking children. The eyes were close together. What are you on

for? Anyway, look, I'm sorry. And then, okay, he goes to England then, right? And they're like, okay, he's talk to the English people, you know, because we're allies, you know, just keep him happy. And Patton says in the future, England and America will rule the world. Huh.

Yeah, and then fucking, you know, Russia's like, what do you mean? You know, we're going to be allies. Now he's like, screw you Russia. And all he's now is like, you can't piss off the Russians. He's like, I don't like those ruskies, you know what I do. So because of this, all right,

even though he's like a hero, Patton, so Patton, like, he fought, uh, uh, Rommel. You know, Rommel, the Nazi. So he had this kind of like love, hate relationship with Rommel because he's like, his arch enemy, his Moriarty, but he was like so talented with military tactics. Yeah, he was like, you goddamn. genius. My God, you can kill them

Jews, buddy. I mean, I know I'm not supposed to say it out loud, but God, damn. No, he said it loud. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. He was like, I am I doing this for fun? I do not like Jews. Oh, wow. Yeah, he was racist and but you know what? He was racist

and anti-Semitic, but he had a black butler. Okay. So, there you go. Yeah. So makes you think, doesn't it? Not everything's black or white, ironically. Was he respectful and kind to the black He wouldn't beat up the butler. Yeah.

In public, anyway. Yeah. I respect you enough to beat you behind closed doors. Oh, thank you, mess of Patton. I do appreciate that thought. Really, like, he was just like, well, fight Germany because I'm being told, but I want to go after Russia instead.

And they're like, we're not a war of Russia. And he's like, ah, God. Yeah, this military, this red tape. I won't like it. Speaking of Russia as a Nazi, he's just quick sidebar. You see that old Nazi getting a stand in ovation. Canadian Parliament. Where did he come from?

I don't, apparently they've edited them. They were like, yeah, we've done the background check. This guy seems cool. He fought Russians in World War II. Yeah. But does it, eh. Hmm. So there's like, it's a video, it defies belief that there's just the entire. You know what? It's not, this is the second time this happened. Really?

They had a Nazi in Disneyland, all right. I've heard you. The Nazi Disneyland, a John, John Stewart gave a medal. oh but that he was like kind of like a noon like you know he he fought with the the ukrainian people he's like a ukrainian military man so he was part of the like the neo nazis yeah yeah so they kind of it's like an old school nazi right here yeah this is like literally world war two was murdering russian soldiers yeah like he was a full-blown nazi like watches like shinders list and cheers the wrong parts you know that kind of well here's i was listen to an interview with this uh ukrainian guy

And he was saying, like, there's a lot of whitewashing in Ukrainian history. It's kind of like in the same way that, like, in parts of the South, there's people like, yeah, my granddaddy was in the KKK, but like, he was doing it for, you know, for other reasons. Yeah, yeah, he was in the KKK, but it wasn't like a bad guy or anything. And there's a lot of guys in Ukraine just like, yeah, my granddad, he's got this weird uniform in the attic. But, yeah, you know, he's... And I'm sorry, this may, this probably isn't going to, you know, this might not pass the violence. check, Brian.

You've libelin. Ukraine is just a corrupt, desolate hold that's used by world powers to launder money through illegal streams of revenue, child prostitution, drug trafficking, organ

harvesting. Wow, James. Wow, James. And, you know, maybe that's not PC and all hip-cat jazz cool to say that. But that's what I believe. I think you got a little overboard there. You come from

Monnet and say this, you know? We don't harvest organs. We harvest crops. The only laundering we do is a bit of the green diesel lower the border. Don't say anything at all. Do you ever hear that song about

diesel laundering? Diesel smuggling. It's called Flash the lights at me. Flash the lights at me. Flash the lights at me. If you know the code on the border Oh, dead flash, the lights at me. That means, yo, you see any

motherfucking po-po? One time I'm this motherfucker? Let a brother know. Let the brother know. They're scoping that, brother, is that here, Mike. That's what's up. Yeah. That we do it in Monahe. It is bad optics for Ukrainians, that Nazi, right there. Yes. Apparently, there's a lot of Ukraine fatigue

right now. Yeah. People are kind of getting bored of it. People are more interested in the streaming wars than the Ukraine wars. I mean, the fact that every time you open the Wall Street Jardels I was like, oh, another billion to Ukraine. Okay, good. Yeah.

I think the Ukrainians, there's no going to be no winning in it. No. And it's going to be a case for like, I think eventually like, hey, we've done a deal. Yeah, it's going to be like the writer's strike. Yeah. It's like, we actually got everything we wanted. But they didn't give you anything. Yes, I know.

But we learned a valuable lesson of morality. I can imagine that eventually, like, they'll have whoever fucking Hunter Biden when he's president when he's president he'll be like we won Ukraine won it's gonna be just

fucking like Ukraine has been like a desal wasteland you know and I'm like yeah thank you America

and then but I didn't see we'll have a new war then Ukraine's gonna get boring Ukraine is fucking

laser disc or you're gonna move on to something new right there you think China no China's too big

you know you want something more manageable uh modern oh no I'd say they might

go back to back to Afghanistan or something right that's the when they when they finally plunder all the Middle East for all their oil they're going to come here and get our precious turf

they're going to be invading the bogland our turf and our sheep and our women and you can't tell them apart that's the majesty of it all yeah what are we talking about for that fucking uh shit Patton does it yeah

my point is like a patent even though he was doing so well in the war he kept fucking up and saying like bad slash racist homophobic sexist the anti-Semitic things Eventually they put me in charge of a fake war Really? Yeah, so they're like What we're going to do is

Against Ukraine No, no, what we're going to do is okay We're going to storm the beach of Normandy All right But to distract the jerrys We're going to have you with a bunch of tanks over here A bunch of fake tanks over here Because the Germans will think like

Oh shit, Pan's doing something So they'll all be distracted by you Right Because you're so loud and annoying An obnoxious and retarded So then they won't be looking at Normandy and we'll go sneak up on them there. That's what they did right there.

And it worked. It did, yeah. See, saving private Ryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one guy lost his arm. I wonder who that loud fella in the background was. Yeah, that's a great opening scene. It is, I was shot in Ireland.

Yes. Which is why he's so harrowing. You managed to make World War II look even more depressing than it needed to be. Yeah. So that's basically all. So you watch a documentary about Patton. Have you seen the movie

I watched a movie and documentary Oh you watch both Yeah yeah Wow I've got nothing else going on Clearly Yeah you know That's good

So what else we got He was a great man though Wasn't he Well I suppose A great great man He had a dog Yeah Called Willie

And he died in a car After the butler He died in a car crash Why was Who did the dog No no Dog was driving a car He had the dog

driving the car The dog was driving the car And James Dean was in the passenger seat I mean Patton died in a car crash yeah no not a dignify way to go right there he also I think he was banging his cousin oh sweet hell yeah

the dog was driving the car he's banging his cousin it was a wacky wild time my friend yeah man wacky races yeah anyway look we're nearly at the end right there I'm gonna go down watch more raw really we watch a bit of raw but I need to watch more to get better sense

why not hey raw okay so it's an R2 show called Raw. I don't know. It's written by Lisa McGee. Well, that episode is. I don't know if she wrote every episode. Let's look it up. I'm just saying like Lisa McGee, you start off from the bottom, you're working on Ortiz shite.

I tell you, she had a show that came out before Derry Girls called London Irish. And everyone seems to hate it. I think it's pretty good. Well, this shows you're on the wrong side of history right here. As always. I like London Irish and Russia. And the big movie studios

That's who I support I didn't want to say before we head off there We're almost at the end I need to say We'll wrap this up I don't know Yeah we got nothing Nothing's happening

Nothing's going on We're coming into spooky season I'm going to start watching spooky movies Yeah what kind of movies What's your go to movies for Halloween So people come to us for movie suggestions Okay What's spooky for you?

I don't know well obviously I mean the classics Halloween Wes Carbner I love Halloween I love the scream franchise You are a big scream head I love scream man I love I love the first one and the third one the most and then the second

I know that's not a popular opinion That's just that's why you're not popular Just that and that alone You rock up in parties I tell you scream six Did we talk about it? No One of the worst pieces of shit I ever seen in my life What happens? It's just terrible

Is Jenna Ortega okay? Well, no. No, she's not. Oh, no. No, she's fine. People love her. Well, yeah, she's fine. No, I tell you, because the fifth one was actually all right.

I liked it. Wasn't amazing, but pretty good. The sixth one is just so, like, it feels like real, like, one tree hill style writing. Very silly team drama-esque, it shite. And they got rid of a, well, didn't get back. Neve Campbell, fucking Cindy Campbell. Yeah, he wouldn't pay her. What's her name? Cindy Prescott.

Yeah, Prescott. Had a brain fart there. Well, I won't judge you. Yeah. But, no, the first one for me is, like, fucking iconic, man. I love it. It is good. It's real fucking news.

They were watching downstairs a while ago. I was like, oh, yeah. It's just get your prick hard. It's the first horror movie I ever saw. I saw it when I was 11 years old. Wow. And it blew my cock off. I was staying in my friend's house.

It was my first night out of sleepover. I don't remember what happened the rest of the night, but probably, Ironically, I was screaming. Hard to scream with a pillow in your mouth as I soon found out. But like that movie stayed with me for like

many probably years afterwards I would go to bed and I'd be lying to bed with my eyes closed and I just picture the man in the screen mask standing over me with a knife ready to kill me and then I drift off to sleep. It's like ah it's all good. I like

horror movies but girls love horror movies. The girls are sickles, man. They love true crime and horror movie. See, the thing is like, we talk about rape and murder, right? And they're like, ew, that's a red flag.

It's giving ick vibes. Yeah. Fucking give you something, you cunt. How are you? How are you? Well, like, take my belt off on the box. They all just fall asleep. This is like, and then he killed five women and he cut off their tits, the mordom of the funny

hat. Yeah, it's like, Proseco and murder. Yeah. There's something, I don't know, I think women listen to true crime because it's almost like, in the same way,

they're like, this is helping me now, I'll be able to text the weirdos right there. Oh, maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they think the weirdos are all like the, the kind of real noticeable ones, you know?

Yes, like me. Yeah. They're a lot more insidious and under the, they're like you. It's like, oh, don't worry, ladies. you're safe but yeah

what are Halloween movies I mean you know I can't have a soft spot for Friday the 13th you know but they do get quite trashy and shite as they go on

I want to rewatch some not all of them because that's too much to be a commitment right there but I think there's some good ones in the mix in the kind of

slop of Friday 13th and Nightmare and Elm Street there's good ones in there you gotta go sifts and true people kind of I would say that 2009 remake

is pretty good like would you compare it to the other remakes yeah that 2009 one is pretty solid I watched that stoned yeah awesome man remember the girl with the big ass titty's bouncing and then they're blazing the weed dude

I remember watching that in remember that really shitty apartment I was in remember a real tiny one with that woman from the Tuzla kept taking her kids away from her oh and her drunk boyfriend kept back I'm upstairs I'm watching Jason Voorhees

Keep it down You swine That was not a good time My life right there Yeah I remember like Everyone was so smelly In that house man

And then you moved in With Taro Oh yeah And Taro died And yeah God That brings me back man That's a real

OG episode Remember by the way My roommate died And everyone got angry With me Remember that Well yeah Because when my roommate died, right, I, you know, because I, so here's thing, guys, I process traumatic events with laughter to try and help others.

What we do is we try to cast light into the dark places of the world. Saying you can't joke about something and saying you can't make a cure for a disease. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When some fucking retarded Swiss freak drinks himself to death or whatever the fuck happened there. Hey, it's cool for me, though. Yeah. And you said some people got offended.

Well, yeah, one or two people kind of said to me, it's like, yeah, that was pretty fucked up that you did an episode about it. Oh, sorry you can't handle the truth right there. Live in your fantasy world, will you? Yeah, yeah. This is the real world right here

where Jill Dano gets killed and my roommate dies, you know? Sorry, it's not all... And Neve Campbell doesn't get cast in the new scream movie. It's the real world with real consequences. It's time to grow up, you little baby.

Oh, I just want everything to be happy all the time. Well, that ain't it, brother. Yeah. The chickens are coming home to roost and they all have bipolar depression. All right? So take it. Take it or leave it.