Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 215 : Lady Ballers

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Woodrow Wilson is in the gaff and we chat the hilarious new comedy Lady Ballers.

I was going to be a priest. I told you that. My granny wanted to, like, try to convince my mother to, I think James could be a priest. Your granny was saying, though. What happened to her? Alzheimer's and dead. So, there you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give you the last rights, love. And then I guess I shagged my dead granny's corpse. Suppose it's really the only logical step in the joke there. There's nowhere else to go. I set myself up for it. now I must commit. So yeah.

Like Andy Kaufman. You just commit to these little bits you do, you know? I respect that, though. I respect that. Anyway. No, I didn't do that, guys. I didn't bang my granny's cold. Come on.

There's still time. Dick her up. How long has she been dead? Five, six years, something like that. Pretty. She'd be pretty dank, wouldn't she? She was very Alzheimer'sy towards the end, though. Very, like.

like she'd come up to me like you know I was like 24 and she'd be like that's your house school going jays like she was looking at me thinking I'm 13 but it was my 24 year old self were you all Ben Shapir like actually that is not true I am not in school no no I was just like I just went yeah not school's grand yeah yeah yeah my hemorrhoids are acting up and I've got a gout but yeah

looking forward to doing the junior cert then I'd try it's like my granny thinks I maybe I could get away with it and I'd try to go back to school like Rodney Dangerfield but I go to the old girl Catholic school saying hey

don't worry I'm a student or whatever That could be a very fun transphobic movie Yeah could She's speaking of transphobic movies Uh huh Let's get into one I watch

I don't watch a lot of transphobic movies now But I did watch one alright Yeah It's called One a week at least Yeah just keep me on the level Keep me straight and narrow If you know what I mean

I watched Lady Ballers. Lady Ballers. It's the new Daily Wire movie. Now, Daily Wire, the only way you watch Hollywood movies. Yes. You're in the past. I am? Yeah.

Hollywood is dead. Okay. Yeah. Oh, that's a shame. I know all those movies you like, like Black Panther 2 and the Tar. Yeah, no more. Okay. No more.

Yeah, no, you're not allowed, okay. It's going to be all Daily Wire. DailyWire is the future. They are the kings of content, or there will be, at least. Conservative content. Conservative. You say conservative, I say common sense. Oh, there we go.

Maybe it has rubbed off of me a little bit, right? So Daily Wire, it's Jeremy Boring. Okay. Come on, don't actually know Jeremy Boring. No, who's that? Well, that's one of your problems, mate, all right? To see, I'm too busy riding my dead bratty to figure out who Jeremy Boring is. So Jeremy Boll, I'm going to look him up actually.

get you full. Does he like, is he the owner of Daily Wire? Yeah, yeah. So he's like a kind of

failed director. He was big, he was like, I think him and Zachary Levi Shazam were friends. Yeah. And then one became

successful and became Chuck. You know what didn't become Chuck. And if you don't become Chuck, you become a right wing conservative. That's the,

that's the, it's either Chuck or fuck, you know? So his name is actually Jeremy Boring and now he, CEO of Daily Wire. It's him and they've got pretty

kind of, they've got the dream team. Okay. Him, Matt Walsh. Oh yeah. Ben Shapiro. All the bros. Candice Parker, the real bro right there. Candice Parker.

What's their name? Candice Owens. Who's Candice Parker? I don't know. That's not a person. Much like Candice? No. And then they've got some good guys.

But anyway, so. Yeah, so it's all there, you know, you know, hashtag alt shite, Brian. no no okay sorry that's low hanging you're punching down you're you're worse than you're worse than dave chapelle all right so anyway so they started up daily wire yeah and their big goal is like I said you take on Hollywood so yeah they've got lady ballers

yes they did a run hide fight yeah now that wasn't really a daily wire movie just bought the rights to it okay right they didn't actually produce it it wasn't a good movie anyway I'll tell you that but since then they've got they've got some big I'm going to look up there what they've got coming up. They've got some big, big stuff. They've got a new version of Snow White, a non-woke version.

Wow. Where they use the word midget in it. Nice. Yeah. None of this little people stuff, right? They're all just called, the seven dwarves are just called, all their names are midget.

There's no happy or sleepy or grumpy. There's just midget one, midget two. And they're not allowed talk or sing. Yeah. Just go into the minds and keep our mouth shut. And they've got that, you know that white girl

looks like Lady Ben Shapiro? No. Oh, picture that. They've got her playing no Latino woman, okay? It's a good white woman playing Snow White. Right, okay. And they've also got a new King Arter movie coming out, and they're doing an Iron RAND adaptation,

and they're going to do conservative children shows. So is it profitable of the Daily Wire? They're making so much money, man. Really? Yeah. Well, I think also the people, their investors, a lot of rich people are conservative, so they're getting that money. Right. Okay. Yeah. And you know what? They're probably getting money from like, you know, people that pretend, like Hollywood bigwigs that pretend to be liberal, but really deep down, they're conservative. Probably, yeah. Like Mel Gibson, for example. Like he portrays himself as very left-wing snowflakey, but I know he's got some opinions. I think he's a bit of a problem with the Jewish people. I don't know about that now. Anyway, so this new one now is, like I said, Lady Ballers. Lady Ballers, yes. I saw the trailer, but I didn't.

Now, did you, I hope you paid good money to watch this. You didn't take it, steal it like some pink old commies. You know, it's funny, I'll be honest with you. I did steal it, but you know the way like, you know, like Napoleon, I watched a cam version. Yes. This was like, no, I'm watching the highest quality. I'm gonna rent out a cinema and have it to myself

Yeah So Lady Ballers stars Jeremy Boren Jeremy Boring is a bit of like He's like a Woody Allen type You know not like that I mean like he writes directs and stars In his own movies Alright so he is the main character

He plays coach Rob Gibson Rob Gibson And Rob Gibson He's someone that we can all relate to Okay he's a guy's guy Who just wants to get through a day And not be hassled by pronoun people.

Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. So it starts off, it's like 2008, and Rob is leading a high school basketball team, all right? And they're all these high school kids who look kind of like men.

It's kind of like a 90210.1 kind of situation, you know? Right, okay. So there's basically men playing high school kids, all right? Now, because it's a daily wire movie, is it like an all-white basketball team? No, I think they've got like a black guy,

I think got two black twins in there. something. I forget exactly now, but I don't know the exact ratio, James. I'll make a little pie chart. Please do. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how pie charts work. Yeah, yeah. They're playing it and they're like, coach, we're losing. It's the third quarter and we're down by six. And he's like, you expect me to give you a motivational speech about how you can work together as a team. Well, I've got to do that. Because motivational speeches, what do they do? What do? Get you ready to go out there and die for your fellow teammate to go out there

and push yourselves the limit you know it's like you know okay he's this big speech you're like yay and then the next thing is like they lose. Ah. Yeah and he's like oh we lost. Classic comedy there isn't it? Yeah and he's like all we lost now we cut the 2020 and he's still a basketball

coach yeah in a high school. Yeah right okay but there's no real funny jump there's no like well I'll tell you I won't be here in 20 years and you know That would have been funny or like They missed a trick by not getting you involved Oh man I would be so funny

But like why don't you say something like I'll be I won't Why how about okay He's eating eggs and I'll say I'll stop eating eggs And the next scene he's eating eggs Yeah yeah wouldn't that be good What if he says hey buddy

My pronouns are fuck you Oh man He basically says that later on Oh does he actually Oh, no. Oh, great minds, think alike. Yeah, yeah. So, you might have to explain something,

because I'm pretty white. Okay. You don't have to explain some of these jokes to me, right? So the joke is now, okay, he's doing that same speech, but they're all black and they're on their phones. Right. And they won't listen to him.

Okay. And he's like, please listen to me. And they're like, you know, I'm going to listen to you, white man. I can call you white. and in a drogatory sense and do what I want because I'm black and he's like

okay and you need me to explain that to you Brian because that's pretty if you'll part in the pun that's pretty black and white but there's a bit in there he's like okay well you guys go now

don't steal my catalate converter oh and the next scene is him driving his car and there's a lot of smoke coming out with the back what's that mean that they stole his Cadillac

converter catalytic converter is that something black people are known for? I don't know I'm not I'm not sure I'm really not sure I don't know enough about car parts I'm not a real man I don't know anything about car parts or racial prejudice so

the next scene I have to take a sip of my drink there I was so excited okay I spilled some of my tits is your teeth sore no and it's grand now talking about lady ballers has cured everything So the next scene is him and his daughter In the smoky car So the car is smoking because the black guys Have stolen his catalytic converter

Yes All right so far you're laughing already Yeah laughing and learning Yeah it's a knee slapper And his daughter's like Is a girl in my class Who self identifies as a boy And he's like

You know Well that's stupid Like dead It's not stupid People can identify If they make them feel comfortable Who they are It's like well that's not right

Yeah I think we're funny The daughterness says a lot of stuff It's like It doesn't seem too crazy Sounds like a sort of A compassionate, empathetic human response No, you're a mental bitch

This is why your mother left Yeah Left me for that black guy Who stole my god A lick in a converter No, it's actually better He goes to meet his ex-wife Okay

And we meet her new boyfriend It's Matt Walsh Oh Matt Walsh, not the Matt Walsh from V You know the comedy actor? Yes. It's not him. No, this is the What is a Woman guy?

Yeah, yeah. Right, that was him. In this, he's got a fake beard. And he's like, whoa, dude. Oh. Your cheese is all messed up, man. Oh, wow. Whoa, I think we need all hug each other and a, and let's have a jam sish.

Okay. Black Lives Matter. Dude. Uh-huh. What's all my letters? ex friends up to you know he's all down yeah it's like really you transported i was there brian i was there you inhabited that character like oh my god so he's like a big stoner kind of like hippie kind of yeah left wing commie scub yeah yeah and he's got like all he's like he's like he's like he's got like

pictures of, like, Stalin, the back. I love Stalin. Yeah. Dude, okay? Right. So, and how is Matt Walsh's performance? Surprisingly not great. Okay.

I won't be like, he's a revelation. You know, I was sad when Philip Seymour Hoffman died. He thought we never, we never have an actor as good as him. Ah, but the Phoenix hath risen from the ashes. But anyway, so Jeremy Boring is not doing well. Okay, so he's got deal with his hippie, a boyfriend of his ex-execkel. wife. Yeah.

He's got his daughter spouting nonsense. Absolutely indoctrinated garbage. Yeah. But then he's... Treating people like humans. But then he sees

they're having... This is a weird choice. They have the world games coming up. The world games. Yeah. The world games... Is not the Olympics?

Some reason they don't use the World Olympics. As if like... The Olympics is copyrighted. So it's the World Games. The World Sports event. And Jeremy Boring's like, oh man,

I remember when I was a kid, the World Games meant something. Everyone would watch the World Games. Yeah. But now, America never wins because we let handicapped and stupid people. Whoa, yeah, right. We let the weakest of the week compete. And you're not even allowed to be, white people aren't even allowed to compete in the World Games, okay? And it's like, oh, okay, right?

Okay. But then he sees, um... This is pretty funny, I guess. This is funny, so about. but then he um he gets like an extra bill he's like he needs more money so there's like um he goes to the um what's the vhs store blockbuster or whatever's called yeah yeah he goes to what he thinks to the old blockbush like i used to work here back in 19 you know in 1998 but it's a conversion clinic called cockbuster you know what it's not that might be somewhat funny though yeah it turns

out it's a new restaurant okay again this is very confusing now it's a new restaurant And I forget the name of it. It's something like Sally's. And the thing is, it's men have to wear dresses in a... As in, if you... If you work there, you have to wear a dress. Okay. So he's like, what?

And the next scene is him in a dress, okay? And none of the guys like it. All the guys are like, this is so embarrassing working in Sally's. But I'm just so desperate. And this is the modern world now. This is what they make us all. Yeah, and they're like, you know, I can't wait to get out, you know, so I can clock out and get out of my dress.

Yeah. When the next scene, they're in a bar talking about how much they hate and they're still wearing the dresses. They actually have more makeup on now. Some of the guys don't take their dresses off. They go back to the house, okay? And later on, they're training. They're still wearing the dresses. Okay.

So, like, one of the guys who's, you know, Jeremy Boring meets one of his old players. He's like, hey, you know, you used to. you're still looking pretty good, you know. We should hang out. And he sees on TV, there's like a running competition. Uh-huh. The World Games, it's separate. It's not the marathon.

It's the world running competition. The Boston running competition. It'll be a blast. Woo! So he's like, yo, you were pretty fast back in the day. You should do the running competition because it's a women's thing, okay? Oh, no, sorry, yeah. We should do a running competition.

So they go there And for some reason They don't expect The guy's just Still wearing a dress He's the old student Okay He's still wearing a dress

He's like I just gotta work And you know What am I going to Put on a co It's wear my little Two-to It's like little

Literally two Two-to And high heels Okay And he goes to the race And they're like Sorry the men's Competition is full

Okay So you can just go away now And he's like Oh wait a minute The dress Oh sorry miss And realize

You identify as a woman Oh There you go you can go to woman racing. I'm not a woman. Good one. I'm not a woman. Yes, yes. Of course. Yeah. They make him run the women race and he wins because men are faster than

women. I see. And then they're like, this gives me an idea. This is, this is even harder to follow than marry me. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. Like, so what is the whole thing's like, this is what men are forced to do. We all got to wear dresses

when we don't want to. It's like, well I almost wish I wish the politics was more in your face like that the politics is pretty weak it's just mostly bad comedy yeah that's like even like the trans stuff is almost like

secondary to like the jokes not working it's like we gotta have 10 bad jokes per minute it's like well it's this comedy won't work you know yeah yeah so he decides to get you know all the old team back together to get the band back together

yeah so then we have a funny montage then meeting up so two of the guys have started up a car rental place but they also And all the cars have to wear dress Well that's literally It does not happen

So they have a car rental place But then I think they also drive you It's also a taxi company But they also have like a love pad in the back So they're like kind of male prostitutes Sounds like they're just I don't know what they're aiming for here Are they going for

like satire or just like mad cap screwball nonsense? Again I'll be honest now I did watch this before Christmas and New Year's so maybe I've forgotten it maybe it's all made sense maybe this is very funny Maybe I'm misremembering Dodgeball

But another player another former player of the old team He now lives in the woods He's a survivalist Oh And they've got to go track him down he's like literally covered in like you know like

camouflage and like fake leaves like who's there like it's me Jeremy Boring your coach coach it's nice to see you and like what you doing in the woods and he tells them that he was playing a game once and the mascot was trusting Adam like trusting his hip

or like gyrating and that made the guy really angry and he snapped and beat up the mascot okay all right and ever since then he's been living in the woods as like a fucking nomad I don't see how those two correlate at all

Well they're like you know So there's a guy in like an eagle costume Okay The mask got like an eagle And they're like you know But you got over And he's like Yeah I got over it

And then we find out He's got the guy in his basement He's been torturing him For like 10 years Jesus Christ Oh I was just a mascot I'm sorry I've said sorry

So many times please And we're supposed to laugh at this Yeah I'm not being like this is cruel this is punching down a mascot as a comedy is a bit I'm like

It just doesn't make sense What's the joke? Yeah it doesn't make It just does not work Yeah That's what I mean Like they're Like none of these jokes

Make any sense logically So it's like they're kind of going For avant-garde Off the Wall Tim and Eric type shit You know what it's actually weird It's more like anti-comedy Yeah Like if it was just a little bit

More over top But like Oh this is like a satire of what these guys would make. Yes. If I was saying, if this was early 2000s, this would be the Wayne's brothers

and it would be funny. It might not be right, okay? But who gives a fuck? It'd be stupid. Yeah. And they'd have like, you know, one of the guys, the woman, then Terry Cruz

is trying to bang him. And, you know, you gotta go through with it. He's like, ugh. And then, like, he acts and eat some Viagra. And then, like, I know, there's some kids there. And it's like, I don't know. He slips the dog's

He slips the dog's anus I don't know He's stuck in the dog And he's got to play basketball With a dog on his cock While he's wearing a dress Getting chased by Terry Cruz Yep

Makes total sense It works That's airtight my friend It's like Buster Keaton But I'm trying to remember What happens next So the next big thing in this Is Jeremy Boring

meets this woman who is like she's like a real kind she looks like a fox news lady you know she's white blonde hair very hot all that you know kind of young it's funny he's written this in

so she's very young and hot and her whole thing is like she's just devious okay she's a bitch so she'll she works for this news company and she's kind of like and here we have

a beautiful brave trans woman trans women can do anything and then off the camera she's like oh I hate this shit yeah I love swelling for the media for the

Wokanati whatever they call it I love working for the liberal media and I love selling vaccines to children you know

and then she meets Jeremy boring and it's kind of like you're the most disgusting awful pig like

and then they start banging okay oh what yeah and then the next the big joke in this is that he doesn't even

have any you know morals like you're the worst kind of person ever, but please let me see your pussy. The whole thing that is, she's in the, uh, being a dominatrix.

Uh-huh. So there's all these jokes then of like, you know, he's like tied to a radiator, but he still got like his... Dress on. They're all wearing full clothes and like, that was great sex. Ben Shapiro wrote the sex things. So you're

fully clothed. She handcuffs you to the radiator and beats you mercilessly. Then the black man comes in and fucks you in the ass. And that is how you have sex with a woman, based on Judeo-Christian logic. In the script, it says, my sister's big tits. I don't have a sister. So that, she, that's like a kind of funny kind of subplot then, because she's like, you

know, and slowly she kind of realized the error of her ways. Yes. And realize that common sense and there's two genders and all that, all right? Okay. Yeah. So, a lot of the comedy now, and even this, like, so a lot of the comedy is like the fact that they play basketball. with these women and just beat

this shit out of these women. Right, okay. But the way it's done is kind of like it's more like, it's kind of like a vindictiveness. It's not just like, ugh, it's like slow motion like fist into the woman's face. Right.

Just like long, drawn out scenes of violence against women. Yeah. It's comedy. And somehow it's not funny. This is something I should love. I'm not laughing. I'm not erect. What's going on yeah um so then they slowly rise up the uh the world games rankings it's like a tournament they got like you know beat all their countries yes all the women okay oh and do we get like a montage

of other countries no that oh harrow no that would be too dinga ding a ding bing bang bang bang no that would that would be too good all right that's something again they're doing like air two thousands, okay? Yeah. There's got beat all these teams, all right? And now I'm trying to. And then all these stuff were like, um, the media is all like, you're so brave. And like, yes, we are brave.

And it's like, really cringy stuff for Jeremy Boring. He's like, yeah, because he's, he's trying to pretend to be a millennial. Right. Yeah. Where's his daughter during all of this? His daughter is just in the car somewhere with windows rolled up. No, the daughter every now and again is like, again, they keep giving her stuff. it's like, Dad, I think this is bad.

I think you're mocking a, you know, a marginalised community. And he's like, just my daughter is talking gobblingooke. She's bloody half a spastic. She's definitely on the spectrum. Like a shit, she's talking. Get out of here. Fucking sonitude. Loving cuns.

There's a bit that I was like, oh my God. If this is like, this is almost, if it was, like, if it was in a better movie or that, like, just so offensive, I'm laughing at it. but it's just like almost sad, okay? Yeah. There's a bit, and they were one of the players, like, coach, I think I actually feel more comfortable as a woman. I think wearing the dress makes me feel like the person I always wanted to be.

Right. And he's like, shut up, Jerome, all right? You're not trans. You're just stupid, okay? You just got bad parents, and guess what? No one is comfortable with who they are, and no one should be comfortable, and you should shut up. and, you know, stop giving me all this jibba-jabber, all right?

And he's like, but how do I know I'm a man, coach? And he just slaps him in the balls and goes like, that's how you know. And he's like, ooh, oh, that's got it. Oh, right in the nuggets, coach. And that's it. Right. And it's just even like, even like, even if it kicked them in the balls, it'd be funnier, all right? It's like a little slap.

It's like, oh, that's it, you know? It sounds like it's a very cheap movie, production value-wise. It's probably all shot at like a high school jail. Oh, I forgot to mention. Ben Shapiro plays the wacky coach. Oh, he's of the trans team. No, sorry, the ref. Sorry, he's the referee.

He's the referee. How is his acted chops? Surprisingly, again, not good. I'm not going to surprise here. I'm like, you know, Daniel de Lewis, move over, bitch. But the kind of joke at the end is, so I think... I drink your milkshick. Yeah, I drink your milk chick.

I drink it up. Yeah, yeah. I only see the bad in people. Yeah, yeah. So I think Ben Shapiro, sorry, Jeremy Boring, sorry, somebody don't want to offend anybody. Yes.

Jeremy Boring, okay, he pisses off the hot woman. So she decides to get punishment. She exposes him. No, no. She gets another team of women. Wink, wink. But they're actually just big black guys.

Right. So now it's white guys versus big black guys. Ah. All in the name to defeat trans people or something like that. such a little weird fantasy yeah it's so bizarre like this is our worst nightmare big black guys are gonna come in

and emasculate us but then like it gets even weirder and again like the whole psychology of it yeah they decide to defeat the black guys but pulling down their pants and showing their big penises

and then it's like that's the biggest black penis ever seen in a woman and Jesus Christ but then even weirder then they're like, they're losing, even though they pull down and showed their cocks, people are still like,

they're still women. So the next step is the guys decide to forfeit and let their little girl daughters compete. And then the little girl daughters actually beat the black guys because they follow the rules and the fundamentals of basketball. The black guys just saw the kids like,

yo, that ain't my kid, I'm out of here. I'm out this motherfucker. Ah, ha. Because that's what they would think, the people who wrote this movie, because they're racist, not me. Ha-ha! Again, that'll be good. I won't say it'd be funny, but...

That'd be good, you know, in a hurtful way. It'd be an attempt, though, right? Wait, so, because they follow the rules. The little girls win. But how... When I say little, I mean, like, 10 years old. But how does rule following... Because the black guys don't...

They're... They're just like, you know, they're traveling and they're doing all this stuff. drinking 40s on the court I'm just saying I don't know okay don't ask me like you're asking me like that doesn't make sense Brian

Brian there seems to be a logical flaw here I'm like no there isn't shut up but look here here's one thing we can definitely say about this movie it definitely passes the Bechdel test

huh come on credit where credit is due did they even make a Bechdel test joke course not what are you talking about that's not the kind of vibe they're going for at all you're right sorry you're too intellectual that's my problem anyway back to me

raping my granny's corpse I'm gyrating I'm doing the motion even though it's audio I'm just doing it for you Brian anyway so the little girls win the world games okay and then they're like yay and the ex-wife is like you know what Jeremy Boring

I still love you and they kiss and little girls like yay I renounced my evil thoughts you know yes

the spell has been broken now that the family unit is back together I'm no longer from a broken home so I can't be

indoctrinated by the Nazis but you know what's really embarrassing all right so the final scene okay

is the ex wife and Jeremy Boring kissing then we pan out and Matt Walsh is in the car watching and he takes off his fake beard

and he goes my work here is done and then we pan out more and in the same car as Candace Owens and Candice Owens like you didn't do anything he's like didn't I

oh my God the Simpsons joke the reference Leonard Nimoy and the Simpsons in the Simpsons monorail written by Conan O'Brien? I think Conan O'Brien's pretty proud of that, is it? After all these years.

Finally. Yeah. And then they drive off and that's the end. That is bizarre. That's, wow. Yeah. So Matt Walsh is all part of his game, you know? Yeah.

And it's just like, even just like, didn't I? He just delivers it so monotone and shit. Did I don't I? Like even more passion. I was a better actor there. that he was, you know? You actually ripped your own beard off. You're bleeding profusely.

Yeah. Again, even stuff like he just rip his beard off and it's real or something like anything at all. That's weird, because I was not his beard, the one he claims is real, looks fake. But what it is, it's because it's perfectly manicured. Yeah. And there's something, and I noticed this on guys in real life as well. When they have a perfectly manicured beard, it looks fake. it's like they're wearing a filter or something

like an Instagram filter on their face and that's suss to me Brian Yeah Are you a lady baller, right? Yeah Look after your personal hygiene Whoa What's your game made?

That's why I don't shave or wash my balls Yeah, yeah I haven't showered in weeks And I know they say that's a symptom of early onset schizophrenia But hey, I'm feeling pretty good Well, I'll tell you what now It hasn't done very well critically this film.

Well, Kel Surprise, Brian. But how some people liked it? The Washington Free Beacon said it was hilarious. The Washington Free Beacon. Yeah. Well, Lady Ballers is a welcome alternative to any of Hollywood-approved comedy, in quotation marks. Who is that from? The Washington Daily...

Oh, sorry, sorry. The Washington Times, Lady Baller would trigger left. And that's why it's so good. Oh, yeah. The Washington Post. The Washington Times. Well, the Times. Yeah, yeah.

MSNBC described it as anti-trans propaganda. Uh-huh. It doesn't even sound sophisticated enough to be propaganda. It just sounds like dog shit wall-to-wall. Yeah, that's what I mean? Like, it wasn't even bad enough for me to really get, like, much of a fucking, like, raise out me. Like, watching it, like, my pulse was just, like, didn't... I was basically dead watching it.

I almost stepped to a coma. It was like, it's just long as well. It's over two hours. Really? Yeah. Jesus Christ. They always say with comedies, make him as long as possible. Yeah, yeah.

That's what they always say. Yeah. That's what Shakespeare said. Brevity is the soul of wit, unless you're bashing the trans community. So I'm just one looking here. They've got a Western as well called Terror on the Prairie starring Gina Caranel. Oh, the, what was she in the Mandalorian? Yeah.

What was her thing? Anti-Vax, was it? I think also anti-trans. as well. Oh, okay. They have like my dinner with Trump, a cinema veritable documentary featuring Donald Trump. Having dinner. Literally having dinner.

Just eating a big mac out of Melania's asshole. Yeah. There's a service called, I'm just reading here, Chip Chilla. Chip Chilla. Yeah, it's going to be a children show about, you know, the family unit. Okay, so yeah, you said that at the start that they're making like conservative kids programming. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, Peppa Pig.

Big. Yes. Yeah. Peppa people have some fucking balls or you know not afraid

to see how it is certain people shouldn't be allowed in this country all right yeah yeah

Dora the Explorer needs to be deported Yeah Dora the Deported That's our one Yeah Sir in a cage

I use me Oh no And he are crack then. I'm going to look up other things to talk about here. I haven't really been looking up that much stuff. I did, I kind of went down a weird kind of like US President's wormhole.

Okay. I was looking up old presidents you know. All right. I got really into Woodrow Wilson. All right. Yeah. You're no much of Woodrow Wilson. I don't. I really don't. I'm a bit of a troglody. I don't. I didn't realize he was pretty racist. Even by his standards. When was he around?

He was around World War I. Okay. So the whole thing is he was around during World War I. the Germans the N words of Europe. And as an Irish man, you're like, hey, buddy, that's our title. Anyway, sorry. But, like, he would put on birth of a nation in the White House and be like, you guys got to watch this. I'm like, we watch this already, sir.

He's like, watch it again, God damn it. Oh, Mr. Wilson, I don't like this movie, sir. I don't care. So he was, like, won the first president to not be like a general or a soldier, anything. He was just a nerd. Like a politician. of Princeton. Oh.

Yeah. He just began ahead of Princeton. He was like, man, if I can run Princeton, I can run anything.

And he in Princeton, he was like, we can have Jews and Christians and Catholics in the school. Yes. In the school, but that's it. And the other colleges around this time

were letting some black students. He was like, over my dead body. Right. So because he was so successful not letting black people in the Princeton, they're like,

this guy can run for president. Yeah. So he did and he won, all right? Okay. And he got two terms. and the second time he ran his whole thing was

he kept America out of war because this around World War I was kicking off You know the Lusitania, the ship? Yes That got sank Yeah And it was like a lot of people think that like That got sank and like America was like

We gotta join in It's not the case at all It was more just like America A lot of money tied in with like Europe Yeah And they're like ah fuck it Yeah yeah All right we might as well you know

It was gonna real like He campaigns like we won't fight and then he got elected and he was like maybe a little okay right yeah

so he got it he basically promised the American people hey vote for me and he won that was a big reason why people voted for us

they're like we don't want we don't want to war yeah although he did it's a world war that child's bad we don't want it

but even though he didn't want that war he was big into like not really war but he's big into like kind of like eerily kind of Iraq style

like go in and bring democracy. He'd go into a place like Haiti and stuff like that. And then like, you know, he democratized the place, which normally include killing a lot of civilians, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then leaving and stealing all their bananas, you know.

And pineapples and all that. And be like, no need to tank us, boys. Now, the sinking of the Lusitania, isn't there a speculation that that maybe was a bit of a false flag? That's what I say a false narrative. Yeah, yeah. Well, I told you before in the Marvel comics, it was the humans who did it.

Oh, you're right Yeah They live on the moon Oh no, I won't get into them now Woodrow Wilson was like I don't There'll be no in humans in Princeton Well so he didn't

He didn't want to go to war At least he said he didn't And then he's like Fuck I'm gonna go war World War 1 And it's funny Because he's like We're at war

And that means No more civil rights And they're like What? No more time for You know all the civil rights You black people had Yeah

No more Okay I know you've all been On easy street up until now well the gravy train is leaving the station boys so some places are still segregated but a big thing was you know previous presidents okay was they were like we're gonna have a government jobs not segregate so you know we hire lots of black people the white people and right you know that's it and he was like you know what because we're at war we can't we got to fire all the black

people right otherwise how we're going to beat the the Kaiser you know and he rolled back a lot of like anti-jim crow laws yeah there's one law we're like like in some states they're basically like okay if there's a black guy in the office we can keep them in a cage basically they're like we have to keep them like separate

yeah yeah just the case choice you ever see it puts a stapler and jelly he tries to do any those gym pranks yeah and he really like people talk about free speech now and all that yeah he really cracked down all of that stuff.

If you didn't even like talk shit about the government or like war is bad or maybe like maybe not as much war or just criticize the president, you'd be arrested you'd be fine. Like German people got like lynched. Not even like, you know, German people

got lynch at his time and he was kind of like, hey the manel's the man. Yeah, yeah. And like people come to him and be like oh my God, you know like this this thing is happening. This happening is like kind of pretty cool. but anyway so the point is

he's not exactly no one being a good president you know and he loved racist jokes and all that oh well that I cannot abide but then he had a stroke oh all right

he had a stroke and he was pretty like me like that he couldn't even say the N word that's how bad he was and his wife Edith Wilson

basically ran the country for next like you know six months until the next re-election. Jesus. Yeah. What do you think of that? And people like,

people are to be. And she rehired all the black guys. And he just had to sit there. And that was the very first cuckold. There's a little history lesson for you, Brian. So I went back then. I was looking at what are presidents? Another one called James Buchanan.

You ever hear of him? James Buchanan. Yeah. He's pretty forgettable president now, okay? The only kind of interesting about him is. So before he was president, he had, a fiance. And then there's rumors that he was unfaithful.

Now, we don't know if those rumors are true, but you know is, for whatever reason, the fiancé killed herself. Oh. And he was an incredible depression over this, you know, a lot of grief, a lot of shame and all that. I was going to get pussy. Well, when was he? What era?

I was like 18-something. This was going way further back now. I'm kind of jump around history here. That's okay, yeah. I like I don't know. I'm like, I literally wrote down my nose. Look, 18-something. so if I minding but not yeah and what was his

opinion on black people he was actually like you know oh I'd love to help ah my hands are tied yeah

my fiance killed herself I'm a mess I'm a mess but actually a weird a lot of presidents by the way

before Lincoln this is before Lincoln by way Gene's Buchan they were also anti-slavery yeah yeah

but it's like it's kind of like you know nowadays you're like oh look what are you going to help the poor people those homeless people look, it's just sad

don't make eye contact Yeah, but just keep walking They're basically like that You know And they didn't even throw money You know But anyway, James Buchanan So he was so depressed

He became president He said that he threw himself In the politics Just so like To distract himself Right And he decided to spend A lot of his time

In a bachelor pad With like six guys and then eventually the six guys a lot of them moved out and it was him and another guy and then a lot of people called him Aunt Nancy and Aunt Fancy

and I suspected he's the first gay president of the USA well first of Manny but yeah so it's suspected that he is a gay president I think he got a wife eventually because he can't become president unmarried

that'd be like unseemly you know especially back then but he would always hang out in his bachelor pad and like there's all these little notes and I never actually have like a note or a letter being like dude the president's

fucking homo man dude he's riding the Hershey Highway taking it up the South mouth come on but there is all these letters like all these like kind of like like very catty little like you know

he's hanging out with his friend is he? Yeah who oh his very good friend yeah again like fucking like It's the idea of, like, back in the day, like, some, like, Civil War General, being like, oh, is he way and fancy, is he? Doing their nails. Yeah.

Chance to be a fine thing. Yeah. I like reading up these old, I like the presidents they never heard of. Yeah. But I'm a lot of presidents, by the way, that, like, in Washington at the time, there was really bad irrigation. Right. Like, basically, a toilet was the sink, basically, all right? So, like.

And the water and hole. Yeah. So a lot of these, and it's still separated. That's how bad it was, you know? Even the shit toilet, all right? But, like, a lot of presidents died in a very short amount of time, okay? And there's a lot of, like, you know, like, there's one president. I can't remember, I think it's Polk.

I can't remember which one now. But, like, he died. He did a speech in the rain, and he died, like, 18 days later. Yeah, yeah. From pneumonia. Well, at least that's what they say. There's a lot of things like he died from pneumonia. He died from this.

Or was he? If you look at it more, it's probably because he was drinking literal, literal shit. The taps in the White House Had shit in it Had shit in it Yeah So he probably got dissentry At the very least

It's not helping No And there's a lot of presidents Who got shot on that And it was very treatable Wounds It's basically like They got shot in the finger

All right And the doctor's like Oh, I'll help you And it's like He's like He's like got a rag full of shoo Covered in shite And he's like rubbing his feet

You gotta plug up that wound With shit Yeah Yeah Yeah It's a very interesting world I've become a history nerd That's good man

That's good for you Yeah Yeah yeah yeah It's good I like I like this world now I want to go more It's apparently one of them Had like lesbian wife

Oh I forget which one I think now One of them One of them had a wife I think now yeah I wonder how long it'll be Until we have the first

Polyamorous president Where they're just like I think when you open the door It's not going to stop You know polyamorous You'd like the old man I remember when the Paul president President was just polyamorous

Yeah Not all this nonsense nonsense you see it was good when they died early back of the day now they live to

102 and they don't know where the fuck they are just absolute goobers man and you know what nobody's saying it Trump is the same he's fucking losing it

you can tell he's kind of not got that magic anymore he doesn't know he doesn't know where he is like you know he is pretty old you forget that

because he does seem like a young spry whippersnapper but he's pretty old I think that really took a toll on him that first time rock you know when you go through four years of the entire world going

fuck you that probably takes a toll on you feeling bad for trump i was like trump was bullied he's a person with feelings no i just mean his fucking stop punching down yeah his brain has turned to soup and is leaking out his ears just like the other goober he's gone through so many lawsuits and that like you know they have like i watched a thing called like the Trump files. Right. And they were going into like

all these lawsuits. They've got like different indictments and stuff like that and like some of them are like you know, he tried to overturn democracy and some were like

he lied about his apartment. Yeah. And they're treating them all the same level like this could bring down everything. This Mr. Trump thought he was safe. Yeah.

Until. Not never happens from these indictments. Nothing never happens. Like you hear about it. Impeachments like I was like literally like 50th impeachments and not it happens. he was impeached twice

it feels like more I can't keep track okay impeaching used to mean something yeah yeah and then in Colorado they're like oh we just and then in Colorado

we've actually found out the way we can stop him from ever running again yeah like a week like literally like not even a week like an hour later like oh wait actually no it's

oh sorry we're not allowed to do that and I'm in a lot of trouble for even saying it well they just a bunch of Epstein file just came out there nobody cares

I used to be excited about that stuff I used to care about Epstein, you know. It's not like Green Day. I used to care. Oh, Green Day have gone woke now, dude. Oh, I'm not even, I don't even care. No, you do. I'm going to tell you all. We'll talk about Gypsy Rose.

Oh, yeah. What do you want to talk about, I showed you the new Brett Gelman sketch? Yeah. Brett Gelman's on the Israeli S&L. Yes. Making fun of Palestinians. Because someone had to, you know. Yeah.

I'm glad they're being. Take them to task. Yeah, they're high on their own supply, you know. they're sitting high on the hog there, you know, on the pig's back, all Latherton cells. So it's a funny sketch. Is there any Palestinians left? I mean, Jesus, what, there's got to be only about 12? I think there's some burnt shadows in a wall.

I think there might be an embryo in a jar somewhere, you know. And Brett Gilman will not rest until... That embryo wants to eradicate me and my people. I wonder, like, will he... Is he still filming Stranger Things? I'm just wondering now, when this is all done? And why you're done, I mean, when they literally have the genocide is completely. Yes.

Are we always going to, like, go, like, huh, bit weird in it? Anyway, a new Amy Schumer special and she's just like, you know, give her by shoes. My pussy stinks like a Palestinian morn. Yeah. But anyway, so. I don't think history is going to be kind to these people. that were like you know basically cheerleaders for a genocide you know like I don't think anywhere outside of America and even a lot of people in America a lot of

people in America disagree with it like there's only really a select few people in Israel like a lot of people everywhere don't like it yes the ones to actually have the put the power over the button they're like no no this is good you all like everyone loves it we show you made a sketch with Brett Gelman come on so the sketch is very funny by the way yeah it is the nativity scene. Right. All right. And Jesus is born. In Bethlehem. In Bethlehem. Yeah. Back in the day, all right. Oh, yeah. He's year zero. Literally year zero. Okay. And the three wise men come. Mm-hmm. But it's Brett Gelman and these two kind of woke people. So apparently are like very funny, very famous comedy characters on Israeli television. I saw a sketch of like when this whole shit kicked off like this most recent installment of the, you know, war. It's like Star Wars. It's always come back. You know. Well, I saw like a sketch of theirs getting shared around and yeah obviously it was awful like I mean they're both

beyond terrible like I never say like they it would have made lady ballers look like duck soup Brian they found like the only unfunny Jewish comedy writers so they added now Brett Gelman to the mix and they show up and there's three

wise men from Bushwick New York and it's like immediately saying we're three wise men Don't you mean three wise persons? Because you're triggering me. And that's literally, like, the way they deliver it is just so, like, it's like a comedy talent vacuum where there's just absolutely nothing there. It's just awful. And the funny thing is, like, they're like, you're not actually Jewish, you're Palestinian.

And, you know, Mary and Joseph's like, but I thought we were Jewish. No, you're not. And that's triggering, like, they're using all these, like, words that were popular in the lexicon in 2015, you know what I mean? And then, like, they're like, you know, after this, we've got to go to the North Pole to meet Santa Claus. He's Palestinian as well. Uh-huh. I'm like, what? This is, guys, worse than Lady Ballers.

Now, I'm going to get your cock hard, though. Okay. Finally. Finally. Brett Gelman. Yes. He filmed the sketch with him. They have also filmed, not released, yeah,

a sketch with Michael Rappaport. Really? Michael Rappaport's coming in next week. You mean Michael Yappaport? That's basically, yeah, yeah. I know the reference. No, you don't. I came up with that.

Me and me alone. Me and my friend Spud. Me and Billy and Spud were hanging out. Call it Yappaport gay as hell, dude. Yeah. But no, he was like filming himself on the street and somebody fired a snowball out of him. You see that?

Pretty funny. Yeah, but anyway He's not doing too well either I've actually lost respect for Rappaport Yeah I don't think he's cool anymore No No

Anyway, we're just at the hour there I mean he's made all middle-aged Wiggers look like dorks No you know Doesn't be your future Future, it's my present And my past Oh there's no escaping it

Anyway that's the end of the episode There was a nice episode Yeah I think at the start I was a little bit like Oh I've got a headache of my toots My toots soar Yeah

But I powered through it pretty well there. You did. You did. You get me going, man. Oh, thanks. And suddenly all my problems fade away. Yeah? But then, guess what?

The episode ends and you leave. I leave. And I checked my phone. I'm like, oh, God, they're all angry with me. I'm accused of what? What? Oh, so she was pretending to be asleep. I knew it.

Oh. I can't believe this is happening again. Oh, before we go, let's have a little shout out to Gypsy Rose. Okay. People love Gypsy Rose the moment Yeah What did she do? I never, shall watch the show

It was a documentary And it's a show as well It was a show now Is there, well On Hulu I think I've seen the documentary From what I remember is So a woman

She lied or something Yes So the mother So Gypsy Rose's mother She was just like This really kind of like Fat old gross hack No she had

Munchausen by proxy Yeah So she kept convincing her daughter that she was very chronically ill and terminally ill and she's always given her medication and stuff. There was nothing wrong with her. She was just like, what is it

with Munchausen by proxy where they get validation? It's like, everyone sees me with a sick child so they have to be nice to me basically. Yeah. Yeah. So then Gypsy Rose, as she gets older, realizes this about her mother. She meets some fella. This is like when they're teenagers, she starts going out with this guy

and they plot to kill the mother. and I'm pretty sure they killed her and they both went to jail but now she's out so it's kind of like a happy ending yeah oh right that's better

I thought she killed someone else I thought it was like I tell you what I could have that completely wrong so yeah I'll look up I'll tell you what I'm gonna watch next week I'll watch the Gypsy Rose show I'll come back and I'll give you my

thumbs up thumbs down should you pretend that your daughter's sick or not I think it's better if she's not even your daughter or just some child you rob off her boots this is my little girl and she's very sick look how bleeding and crying she is oh she's got the sniffles