Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 217 : Beauty and the Geek

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

LOL ROLF

guys. We're back for a free episode and we're going to talk about more about true detectives. True detectives. This has become like a true detectives podcast. Yes. We can't really escape the spiral. Or remember how to say it correctly. What do you mean?

It's true detective. Oh, is it? It's not true detectives. Oh. It wasn't in season one. Or season. I thought, boys, it's night countries. True tactics. Starring Jody's Fosters Look, I can't talk properly

Cut me some slack, Jack, all right But look, we're going to talk more about true detectives Now I have a theory Okay That ties this show all together Yes To a neat little package But before we do that though

I'd watch the episodes before you Yes You have caught up with me I'm caught up What do you think James Absolute fucking dog shit One of the worst things I've ever seen I'm angry.

Now, I'm angry, we're higher. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore. I didn't think it was a very good show. No. But I listened to a few podcasts featuring people who know better than me.

And they tell me some of these are the hours of television are the greatest hours of television that I've ever been made. And the only people like, you know, are you on listening to the dude bros? Yeah. Who say that the show is bad.

you know it's fucking it's fucking lame dude it's fucking gay because there's no fucking there's two chicks there we don't see any

fucking titty there's like two chicks that's four titties we don't see any fucking titties dude well it

I will say is that me is that a little bit is that who I'm supposed to be that's the projection of you all right

and they don't know the true James I always defend you I always offend you and people but then you correct me on how I say true detectives and I wonder who

ah yes I backed the wrong horse but anyway I was joking a little bit with podcast but I did listen to one's called The Watch with Andy Green Wall and the other one's called

Prestige TV these are both ringer podcasts and the ringer's the Ben Simmons kind of his little cottage industry of little media freaks who they love all things they're supposed to love and these guys

they do like an hour every week and let's say you have to do an hour on true detectives. They can't just be like it's bad. It's actually astonishing. Like every, like the scene where Christopher Eccleston is watching elf, I couldn't believe it. Yeah, what was that? Why? What is it?

Just the position of the elf and the night country. Every character was watching elf. Well, they watched an elf on DVD or was that on regular TV? I don't know. They all just put on the DVD at the same time. Oh, watching elf.

What I just have to say about that last episode, like, the first three episodes were dog shit. That last episode is by far the worst of the lot. What do you not like about it? I mean, first of all, like, it was so contrived. The acting is terrible. And the score, the music is just, like, oversaturation to an absurd degree.

Like, they're always playing these, like, stupid, Laib pop songs? All the songs that are a little bit too well known There's no like cool little kind of indie song

There was no subtlety to it No subtlety What it was really given off was like One Tree Hill vibes Yeah Like just melodramatic cheesy

whiny shit Like spoilers You were gonna spoil this Yeah Like the whole thing I think you know where you're going with this The whole thing

Her sister Yes That was so dumb I Lamb as hell Like the idea of like having a mentally ill sister

and then she basically kills herself. In the stupidest way possible. That maybe could mean done, but is this kind of come off as funny a fact of like, I'm going to leave you here, don't do anything, you're going to get better, and the next scene she's like walking naked

around the snow. Yeah. It didn't, I didn't get any kind of sense of, like obviously me and you are a little bit, don't want to say heartless, we're kind of like emotionless freaks. Yes.

Like we will laugh at things. Like you on the Patreon there, I still feel bad. We're talking about film with a lot of incest in it. and I was joking around about it and then halfway through it was like oh wait this is bad why explain why it's bad to me

you can't do it can you can't do it where in the Bible does this thing look but the people you were talking about were Greek and they're not even human basically it was a Greek movie by the way good movie by the way

it is I forgot it was misviolence by the point is I think even if you're like really invest in it I think even you'd find out hard to not be like, this is a little bit stupid. I kind of like a little bit almost like not a very good representation of mentally ill people. Not at all. But I have a

theory about that. I'm going to get to. Wait till I whip my teary out and slap it down the table. Yeah? Yeah. And then I get to inspect every nook and crammy. My trobbing teary. Oh, let me just check the creases in this it. It's a penis, isn't it?

Is that what you're doing? Your theory is like a penis. Is that the gag? It is. Okay. You'll be gagging. On your theory, cock. Sorry, guys.

This is what they warn people about. They're like, these are the people who hate true detectives. They're always talking about gagganized out of his cocks.

Like the dude bros we are. I'll just take your big penis and put it in my mouth. Because I'm a dude bro and that's what I like. Anyway, so you continue.

Continue to talk more about what you didn't like. Yeah, like, I don't know. So yeah, the sister dies and then she's like, but even so the sister takes off all of her clothes and starts walking

into the wilderness and the snow and then that song was it a Billy Elish shot Everybody dies Surprise Like man it was so fucking cheesy And it's just like 14 year old emo my chemical romance shit Yeah it was embarrassing

I'm surprised I haven't played the black parade It was embarrassing That's gonna happen yeah No like Who is the person that made it Izzy, Wizzy, what's our name? Lopez. Is it a Lopez?

What did she do before this? She's done nothing. She's just her first TV thing So I'll be a... And glassed. You're done, love that shit. The cat dog speaks. Judge Kat.

Yeah, that's right. And my bark is worse than my bite. Just to do a quick little recap, what's going on. Now, I'll be honest, I've kind of checked out a little bit mentally. So I watch an episode. afterwards it kind of feels like a kind of weird little dream I've had

you know like a dream you forget it almost straight away Yes This is how I feel about the show So basically There is Jodie Foster and Issa Ray Oh Kylie Reese

I think he can Kyle Reese from Terminator Now that'd be better No, I'm getting distracted now Duda dun dun dun dun They're not Native Americans They're Terminators But so They're investigating

The scientists who have, it seems like they've died from fear. Yeah. And then there's all these other subplots going on, which you mentioned earlier, like the whole John Hawks thing. Yeah, he's got a male or a bride. And his son. You know what?

He's kind of the only good thing about the show, John Hawks. No, I don't mind. And he's really not doing anything. I don't actually mind that part. But when you're watching John Hawke stuff, you're like, all the posters have Jody Foster. Yeah. And is this connected to the crime?

I wouldn't mind if it was like an even the 10 episode season a bit more forgiving of like oh maybe just sort of this is extra garnish but there's only six episodes man. Yeah, there's only two left. We are more than halfway true.

There has, there's really been no revelations or inclinations as to what's behind it. I'm so not invested. I'm bored. I'm not like, I'm not in any way curious. So I'm trying to remember now. Jodie Foster

had another child who died or something She was involved in a drunk driving accident And why she is implied that she was driving Possibly, I'm not sure to be honest I don't even know And then she's a past relationship with Christopher Eccleston Yeah Because he's her boss but they'd be fucking

Yeah she'd be fucking a lot Sex scene Oh yeah of course Yeah I want her to get out away I just want Eccleston I'm going to digitally edit her out So it's just like

Doctor Who is back also that was the whole thing apparently she's a real fuck machine she's banged everyone in town even though she looks like Kevin Costner having chemotherapy but you know whatever what do you think of the

first of all I want to ask two questions yes first of all why do you think of the the daughter relationship I think the daughter is one of the most annoying characters I've seen it ever yeah what's the problem mom she's like wrote murderer on the mining company wall

it's like what's the problem and she's like you can't really do that oh mom you understand she's like really annoying what do you always take their side yeah who this is the first time we what are you talking about no also the daughter what is she like 16 man she's like fucking seven foot three two hundred and eighty pounds pretty she looks like she's part of the samoan kind of rock family she is a fucking unit man yeah jesus She's fucking bigger than Shane Gillis. Yeah, and then Jody Foster's

just this little skeletal fucking Hey, I just love getting dick Oh, I just love spreading my pussy Why do you think about the supernatural elements And the CGI, they have more CGI animals in this as well Which is not, the polar bear Oh, the polar bear, right. But why do you think about the supernatural element?

So we have the exorcist thing of like, your mother says a while. Yeah. And in the last episode, we got a dumb jump. I'm scared of a little girl like shit you see in like a bad like rip off of the ring

like the babadook or something just really stupid no it's retarded I hate it I hate it and you don't like it and I hate you you're lashing out now James yeah sorry sorry no it was

it's terrible and the thing is there's so many different things happening and none of it is cohesive it doesn't gel it doesn't flow it doesn't make any sense. You're just kind of jumping from one thing to the other. Even like a lot of stuff where like something will happen

and the character doesn't seem to react the way I would expect them or like there's no there's no like oh shit this thing happened. It's like it's all very um it feels like it was cut wrong or something or we're missing scenes. Yeah. I don't know like it's just very

it feels very rushed and haphazard but four episodes we've had four hours and it feels like really nothing has progressed or evolved you know what I mean like it just feels we're just sort of plodding along and I don't care

and again like true detectives meant to be about true detective it meant to be about these detectives okay and I feel like we're not really getting we're kind of been sidetracked from the whole like relationship between the two central like people trying to solve the mystery and even the mystery

has been sidetracked but they still kind of half it's like spooky stuff but they don't I don't know if they're going to commit to the actual real like go full supernatural. And then there's also like the kind of social commentary. There's like the native people. But what is the social

commentary? Like the big mining company is coming in and poisoning the water for all the natives. You'd see that shit like I know in like in 80s. I saw that shit and saved by the bell. Literally, the mining company made the swan sick. Remember that? No, I don't. Yeah, they squirted oil and a swan

that was sick and screech was so sad he became addicted to the drugs and did porn. And a porn star and died. R.I.P. than Diamond. He would have made this show so much better. But yeah, so again, it's a very just kind of, oh,

the poor native, like, oh man, it's something that's been done a million times, you know. And look, there's not, maybe drinking chemicals in the water is okay. I mean, we do it here in Ireland all the time. Do you see that, by the way? Irish tap water

has been deemed by the EU as unsafe or unfit for human consumption because it contains elements of like chemicals that are like carcinogenic so the Irish government is giving you cancer but nobody cares

Brian we're not making a big song and dance we're not painting shit in our faces going we're just getting on with it you know sorry your noises when you're doing that is there someone in the house

no no it's an Amazon Prime Vance. He drove off when you pointed out of me. Yeah, man, I told you I'm being tracked by Jeff Bezos. Who's a mentally ill freak now, Brian? Do you want to hear my theory? Okay, yes. This is my theory now.

And I think this can tie things together nicely. It's too dark in here. Yeah, get the lights on for my theory. Otherwise, we're going to get too spooky here. No, you can illuminate me with your theory. So, I think there is something in Antarctica in the ice, be it a

fungus or something that is possibly causing hallucinations or it's kind of affecting people's minds and I think it's like it's always been around that area and it kind of causes psychosis and hallucinations or they could go with it's either hallucinations

or it gives you kind of a second sight in a way kind of like psychedelic like ayahuasca opens your what's it peneo glass your third eye. So that's kind of around there and the mining company

might hit it every now and again. You know what? If that turns out to be the case, I will be very happy. But here's the thing. The scientists hit like a massive like chunk of it.

Yeah. Whatever it is. Okay, they hit it to examine something wrong. They all got like a massive dose of it and they all basically pulled a whitey. Right. They all went insane.

And that explains like all the kind of weird stuff. But also might continue. Okay. They mentioned the fact that Russ Cole, okay, was, grew up in Antarctica. Yes, from season one. He or his father got infected by this, okay? Oh.

And that's what makes Russ kind of bit weird and spacey in season one. Wow. Is this kind of, um, uh, second site or just kind of like, uh, second hand kind of, uh, contact high. Contact high, that's it. Contact spastic. I would think that could be it. that is

if they said that that would be kind of agreeable to me I like that where there's a little ambiguity yeah like a lot of

Stephen King stuff it's like the kind of like the shining a lot of his characters have a kind of like a second side it's kind of

you're never fully sure is there a supernatural element or is it just psychosis yeah ambiguity is what makes it makes it more interesting to me personally

but and then the spirals is kind of like just kind of collective kind of like hallucination thing that people people always see.

But I was thinking then with the mining company, is it possible they are connected to the totals? Now this second part of my theory is different now. Is it possible that mining company

are aware of this and the scientists maybe aware as well and they're thinking maybe this could be like used as a weapon or something. Oh. So that's why they were like

trying to mess with the fungus or like whatever it calls it. See if they can like actually manipulate it and weaponize it. Kind of like a wet lab. Oh. Yeah, yeah.

But then something happened. Maybe someone dropped the vial. you think there's a bunch of Chinese people under the ice? I think that I've always said that. I was like, there's Chinese people. That's why Matthew McConae was acting weird.

Yeah, I've always said that. And that's why Jody Foster hates her daughter. So that theory would make sense. Yeah. It would be agreeable, like I said. But I would see them not doing that. And it just ends in a way more kind of like, sometimes there's things out there

that we don't know when scientists don't know either. but at least we got each other and it just ends with that you know she's like she's gonna pick up a drink but she puts it down

and then like goes to meet her daughter the end her daughter and Christopher Eccleson's there as well by the way where's the why does

where's her dad or what happened there is he dead I don't know I thought I said maybe he died in the car crash and but like

so Jody Foster's white and in flashbacks the little son was white, and now the daughter is like a native Inuit, Inuit? Maybe, I'm just spitballing here, maybe she

got with a guy and it was a daughter for her previous marriage. The fact that we're four episodes in and we still don't know is just one of the many things about it that's very infuriating. I don't care. Yes. There's no part but there's nothing in the show to

like leave kind of breadcrumbs. You're like, like even like lost, let's say. I'm not lost fan. But they always have those little like, oh, but this is from the future. And you're like, well, I gotta watch. There's none of that. There's no kind of like, there's nothing grabbing me. There's no intrigue. I'm not

invested. I don't care. It doesn't like, it doesn't lure you in at all. It's just, you know, it's the opposite. I'm annoyed by it so much. I would actually find it hard to, I feel like I'm spent on true detectives. I find it hard to like talk more about it. Because

there's nothing to say I really sometimes I'll watch something like again like poor things for example which you haven't seen yet no I haven't but poor things I could talk with that for ages because I really liked it yeah I enjoyed it same like I watched the curse a while ago

I didn't finish it but watched first few episodes I liked that a lot yeah and I was saying this someone a while ago like yeah it's a really good show like afterwards I was actually like I was thinking about it yeah they're like yeah that's the bare minimum what you just like all this content people consume

Yeah, and they just forget about it Like I was telling you about those podcasts Like those ringer podcast Okay Those guys because they all They all kind of want to be in industry as well Like Andy Greenwald is one of those guys He um

I think he recently got a job He's working a pilot for like a Star Wars show For Disney Plus now Right So he doesn't want to like Obviously rock the boat too much So everything's like I thought absolutely wonderful

I thought that's wonderful Yeah But like because a lot of people are not liking a lot of real people are not like in True Detective at the moment but a lot of the people who are paid to write articles

are like, no, no, it's great, great. Yeah, yeah. So you really can't trust, you know. A weird disconnect, but because some people are like, don't like it. Andy Greenwald and his ilk have to do like these kind of mental gymnastics.

I was like, well, no, I actually did. I like that. What's an example of like a positive thing they say? Oh, just like the character interactions, the acting. is beautiful like you know the relationships I come to the show

the relationships I could watch an hour of Jodie Foster just driving around it's amazing and there because of all the criticisms from people like well there are kind of two reasons why you don't like the show okay is one it's HBO's fault

because it's only six episodes and two it's very cold when you're filming so that's probably affecting making the show I don't see how that would have affected writing the script Is that's where the problem's going from?

No, you're right, that's how it works Isn't it? You go out to Antarctic and you got all the actors there Like, what do we do? We're like, oh shit, wait, give me a minute. Let me bust out the old typewriter fellas And like Judy Foster's on cold

Like, now we go, it's start filming soon Hey, anybody want to smash clams while we're waiting? Yeah Just, oh God, it's insufferable. I mean, season two is a fucking masterpiece in comparison to this. I really make me laugh there. I keep saying this in my head.

I was this in the Billy and Spode. Oh, yeah. And one of them was like, I think it was Billy, uh, was like, season two had class. I keep thinking of that in my head now. I kind of want to go back and watch season two now. Yeah. I'm not going to fall off the trap. I'm kind of tempted, but I mean, I have such a newfound respect.

I was like, season one's good. You have very good television. Season one is, yeah. Yeah. And now the, if you get further and far away from that, I was like, you got to appreciate what you had, man. That's the only reason why any of us are still watching because of how good season one was.

And it's just like, you know, it's like, you know, banging somebody that made you calm once. It's like, look, I know this time, we'll do it again. Like, Fargo has been more consistent. Yeah. It's funny because Fargo and True Detective both came out around the same time. And both had incredible first seasons.

And really got people going. And a lot of people are like, hey, this is great. And like, this is like the start. like people are really like into like the whole like oh this is great the old ontology tv thing this is this is great because in this era of streaming all that people on toology tv it's better than movies yeah and uh you know obviously fargo hasn't succeeded uh no all the time but season five haven't finished yet but it's been very enjoyable for what i haven't heard anyone talking about it though

you go online the people are talking about yeah in award season you go and see a lot of people talking about it who where are you seeing who where do you see people talking about things i mean I don't know Reddit. You go on Reddit television. It's all, you go on Reddit Fargo. It's all Fargo. Maybe, all right.

You're just like on Reddit Latino teens. Yeah. There was me, oh, puppy, it's a Farago? No, I didn't say Latina teens. Latino teens. What's the difference? Male and Female.

What? Yeah. Latinos and Latinas. That's what you call Latinx. Wait, really? Yeah. I did not know that. Yeah, it's like Bar Mitz van Batmich.

for what's the difference there male and female again oh my god I didn't know that either yeah what else don't I know penis and vagina oh male and feet god god and here I am criticised a true detective season

four oh what a goofball oh there you go sorry the big dick you there I'm just very into Latin culture you know what it's not a day wasted when you learn something so I'm just very big a Latin teenager my niece is

Latina Yeah See now you know A Latinx Some of them don't like Latinx I think Latinx I think Latinx is a white people thing Yeah

It's like when we say people of colour Yeah That's us feeling good about ourselves I think it's funny when like I hear white people ironically Like especially in like British I like pox I support pox

Pox Pox By pox two pox all the Xbox I love them all, you know? It just comes off a bit to internet-y Yeah

Some people are very internet poisoned And when you hear them like say like You know, Rolf Like You're very talking about Harris pal Raffle! Oh my God, Rafflecopter

I flew my Raffle Copter over the lulcano This is the language They used to groom children online Oh, who wants to take a ride? in my rufflecopter. I might just bring back like 2007 level internet

speak. And the amount of peterfall is being hi Barbie, do you want to get my van? Wait, is that's, do they do that high Barbie, that's how they greet each other? They always say hi Barbie, yeah, yeah. Why? Hi Barbie, boy genius. Hi Barbie.

Oh. Yeah. That's how they talk to her, yeah. And I'm like, Rolfel. Rafflecopter, whore. Yeah. Bacon. sauce bacon time

epic meal time bro yeah lol old YouTube is so good I was actually looking up this randomly popped up

remember like all those like prank channels back in the early 2010s where it's all like just like pranking a girl

by slapping her ass epic ponies you got poned remember the guy he has like a fake hand and he like slap women in their asses of their fake hand

like, don't do it. I was like, a fake hand and fake cock. Yeah, that was the spin off. Real ass. So much that, like, those videos are just like, white guys say the N-word in the hood. It was always like stuff like that. It was like, just like a social experiment.

It was a better time. White guys slap black people's asses to say the N-word with a fake hand with a real N-word. Yeah. but yeah true detective season four not good not good I honestly had better

we were watching a bit of beauty in the geek there yeah going back to Matt and Snog Mario void we're going down a real like mid-2000s internet reality TV hole I was listening to it was a better time The Celtic Ligards actually We're talking about some reality TV show from the early 2000s

Celtic Liger is by the way very good podcast I enjoy that the only podcast listen to Really? I listen to a hardcore rap like King Vaughn and Celtic Ligers and no in between Well they'll be happy to hear that Yeah King Vaughn will not be happy

But oh no wait a minute RIP But They were talking about some reality show From TG Catter Where they'd have like women Like dress up What was it now

They made women dress up And then rated them Wait What do you mean dress up as in like Dress sexy? No I think there was women in like a charity show and you have to dress up

Oh Thrift Shore Hors Yeah Trift Store Hore Yeah I know Maybe else I was something else

I watch Is Misha Trift Store Hore Yeah Cheek it's Misha Trift Store Hor It's my Lom Blackcock

Orn will Cadogum Egol Gajon letters To suck Blackcock Neal Neal Kallini

Buk Or whatever I don't know I mean that I may look this up, I'll do a bit more of a deep dive next week. Apparently, the main host was like a Scientologist. I mean, was it an Irish show? It was Irish.

It's all Os-Guelica. Yeah, yeah. Well, but was it, though, like a TGCarr original? Because what they used to do is just like, dub over. I'm not stupid. It wasn't the O.C.C.C.combeated show called O.C.? Curburethusias. Larry David's from the Gailtop.

Well, I'll go to look up TG4 Fashion show Makeover show Yeah, Scientologists I didn't realize The word Irish-speaking Scientologists Oh, there's a whole fucking colony of them And God bless their hearts, you know

It takes a whole world Yeah Pashley-Feshly I can't read Irish shows See if I can read it It's fashion passion Well it's gone now Fashion passion.

Ah, yeah. Fashion Passion Asquil again. Hosted by... Paison, Faisal. Hosted by Ethanan the Turdish, or whatever name is. Okay. What were they saying about this show? This is what our podcast has become.

Just talking about other Irish podcasts. Oh, sorry. I got it wrong. Sorry. So, she was hosting fashion passion, but she had to quit because the show featured gay men and she was a Jehovah's Witness. Oh.

So she wasn't assigned top. My mistake, yeah. Jehovah's Witness is actually weird. I sign tolling There's no Tom Cruise is not A Jehovah's Witness No he's not

Thank God Yeah They wouldn't put up With any of that Controversies Sorry I'm just reading Now sorry It was

Criticised for reducing women To mere sexual objects Yeah Well It wasn't the only one I mean back to those Like The early 2000s reality TV

Like It was very disrespectful Of I've made I made a mistake again. I made a mistake. We're fact checking here, okay?

Okay. So the whole thing was women, so guys teamed up with a woman. Uh-huh. And the guys buy the woman's clothes and then they go out on the date. Okay. So he could buy her something really bad. All right.

Uh-huh. And then she's like, oh, I don't like this. The date's already off to a bad start. Right. We buy something good. She's like, oh, I look so pretty. Ah. Ooh.

Okay. That's what it sounds like. Wait, so the women... I just buy her a big strap on. I love it. But here's the thing. If you're a guy who buys like a very nice outfit for a girl that's fashionable and trendy, I've got to think that, you know, you kind of don't want to be on a date with a girl in the first place, you know what I mean?

Well, that's a... I'm being homophobic crime. That's a very old-school way of things. Like, what? A man who knows how... who showers You know what I mean Like

Back then especially In the mid-2000s Like men weren't fashion conscious I was trying to catch you out there Sorry man Yeah you're right You're right yeah With men

Also look at me I dress like shit I'm a schlob I'm gonna try I'm a slob We should both make an effort To dress better I think You wear suits

When we're hosting the show Armani suits Charge them to the podcast It's a business expense You got a dress for the job you want. Well, speaking of reality shows, just back to the other ones

you watch. I don't really like Snog Mariavoi. I think it's pretty stupid. I don't really like, there's not much you can have fun with it. It's just like, the robot is like,

you've ever seen the show, by the way, it's like women wear lots of makeup. And then they bring her to a robot and robots like, you look like a slot. You are a whore. Yeah, and then they take the makeup off

like, you don't look like as much as a slot anymore. And that's the show. Yeah. That's the whole show. And the whole thing is like, they wear like, cakes of makeup, like, oh, my party girl, yeah.

Oh, I just love getting nubbed in the nightclub bathroom on weekend. But then they, like, take her makeup off. They, like, hose her down, all right? The spell has been broken. I'm going to go back to university to pursue my studies. Yeah, it's basically that, yeah, it's like, now I'm respectable, I is. But your own was fun, beauty and the geeks. I watched this back in the day.

It used to be on a Moore 4. Yeah, but you were trying to, you know... Learn. Someday I'll meet a beauty. I was like, which was this cool, those geeks? Wow, he owns all those comic books. No wonder, these chicks love them. So, beauty and the geek is very old-school reality show, Schlock.

Yes. Where they get, like, ten beauties, ten beautiful girls. Oh, it's Australian, by the way. So it's all, like, you know, the Australian. Miss Universe an Australian bin woman I want my name

Sheila and I'm a bloody Sheila what are the odds of that I yeah it's weird kind of mix One of them was like You know

A few of them like models Yes Or like bikini girls Like you'll do Photoshoots And advertising Other one was like You know

Yeah Oh my A shot girl Yeah Or another one was literally Like she was like A meter maid Yeah

And she was really hot Too Like really hot And the model She's actually pretty hot as well, yeah. You know, there were a few beauties there that maybe I thought, are you sure you're not in the wrong side of the room

there, love? But anyway. But the geeks were all like, this is basically love on the spectrum stuff, but didn't have the term back then. Whereas they're all guys who like, you know. Which is Australian as well. But love on the spectrum is just beauty and the geek revamped. Yeah, yeah. They were like, what if the women were also autistic? And I'm like, oh,

we're in the money. Yeah, so Beauty and the Geek, they're all like, they're all like either really skinny or really fat, basically like you and me. I'll beg your pardon. I'm not fat. It's like a room full of Brian and James's, but they're not cool enough to use racial slurs.

But they're smart. Well, you're the ones. But I don't defend the Polacks again. I'm sick of it. But, like, my point is, they're actually successful, though. Like, they're all like, you know. No, they're not. Oh, sorry, you're right, yeah.

He's got a comic book collection. Dost going to grow in trees. That takes a lot of effort and work to get all the judge dreads. Come on. Signed by Rob Schneider. Making copies. What was my point? I don't know.

I like the show. I want to watch more of it. But it was very like, you know, so I'm a geek and all of chemistry. and then the beauties are like so the whole thing is like they're all the geeks are like socially awkward losers

but the beauties are all really like bimboish and airheaded so they're like yeah oh do you know who Einstein is no I don't what a silly cat yeah and that's you know do you know who Beethoven was and like he was the dog

well I guarantee they edited that of course you know who Snoopy was yeah the dog They're like, oh, they cut it around. Like, you know, Oppenheimer was. Yeah, he was a, he hung out with Charlie Brown. What a dumb bitch.

Well, like, even as like, let's meet the geeks. They all come in on segways. You know, they don't own segways. I was saying the producer were like, pot them on segways. They've definitely been like, that shirt is actually pretty nice. They change it, change it now. they just write the word Pito on his shirt

in magic marker what a gike this is a lot of stress now I would crumble in this situation if you honestly do they bring these geeks in I'd come in like

Jack Black let's get the lead house baby it's a long way to the top if you want a rock and roll I don't have that charisma I'm fucked

I'm fucked then all but I'm all good looking kid in there he took his shirt off he's sharing his knob to the cleaning lady he's a right laugh

he's oh I'm gonna shake him off think yeah babe rock and roll so like they bring the geeks in and the geeks are like

oh I'm scared oh it's my action figures oh I need my my insulin. Shut up, you bloody geek. What is that for your ADHD or something?

So then they have to, like, go in one by one in a room full of, like, very attractive women. Yes. Be like, hello, my name's David, and I study fungus. You know, and then, like, they've edited it where it's like, hello, and all the girls like,

hmm, and they're a bing, boom, what, wah, and the toilet flush noise, you know. My mother died, toilet flush noise. Yeah. Yeah, like it's very heightened.

A little bit too heightened, I think. Yes, it's a little bit too overproduced. I'm trying to sit there and make fun of the neurodivergent, but all these wacky sound effects are taking the fun away from me. Yeah, yeah. You know? And then they have to pair up. So the rest of the show now is going to be like, let's say,

Sally and David. Also, sorry, real quick, though, there was a bit where they all go into the hot top. And like three in a row of the geeks when they tried to get into the hot top. they slipped and fell in face first. It happened like three times with three different guys. The hot tub is full of blood. It's just like,

most of the geeks just floating in the water. It's like tits and geeks are just floating in the water. Face down. No bubbles. And it's hosted by this kind of like Patrick Dempsey looking guy. Like the kind of Aldi Patrick Dempsey

and it's funny, he's like, hey Geeks, how you doing? There you go. Yeah. Oh, how you're going? He's like, he's like, I could just say, hi, guys. Yeah, yeah.

Shut up, geek. He's really, like, laid back and, like, yeah. Nice ladies there, lads. I bet you're not nervous, are you? Go get him, champ. I'll tell you what, how about in about 20 minutes, I'll let you know, personally, which of them are squirters and which ain't. That's right, I'll shagged every one of them.

I made a girl's squirt recently. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. I meant to say happy birthday to your mom. I must remember. Anyway. I was like,

you're making a mess. Stop it. Stop it now. I had a newspaper and started whacking it. Push her head down into it. There you go. That's what...

That's for outdoors. What else can we talk about, actually? Beauty and the geek was good. I like that. Yeah, that was fun. I'm going to watch more of that when you leave. Okay. But before you leave,

I actually got nothing planned tonight. Okay. I'm doing pretty well here We can talk about What are you talking about We can talk about like King Charles in a minute He's got ass cancer

I mentioned this ages ago I watched that Vincent Price Last Mal an art movie Oh yeah I've had it on my notes I have notes for the podcast I've had it there for a I've nothing to say

I want to talk about it now to get out of the way you know It's not it's it's I am legend Yes But instead of Vincent Instead of Will Smith It's Vincent Price

right and there's no dog in it okay and it's basically it's pretty dumb now I liked it though but it's like

it's a vampire movie but vampire is proper like blah like that yeah like Bella Lagos

yeah and no Bella Gose is all like you know ah welcome to my kid these are like real uncivilized

vampires right yeah they're basically zombies like it's the early zombie movie basically Vincent

Price I don't think I've ever seen a single one of his movies now did he like act in them or just like make them? Oh, he didn't make any movies.

He just acted. Oh, he's an actor? Yeah, yeah. Okay. So basically, like, it cuts to, it's... It kind of looks like John Waters, doesn't he? Or have I... No, I think it sounds a bit gay. Oh, okay, that's probably what it is. Does he not have like a pencil thin mustache?

He does actually, you're right. Wow, well then. I'm throwing under a bus. Look at that there, yeah, yeah. Why can't you ever lift me up? You always just need to push me down into the dirt. Is there any you want to say about... Oh, just remember.

actually we got this in we got this in the letter box wow you're really grasping it straws aren't you oh look let's go through the post oh yeah go on Brian read the pamphlet from the letter box

you think it would hold to my head I'm like bro yeah it's a Jesus freak thing isn't it it's a religious thing James I wouldn't say Jesus freak all right

it's about Lent 2024 right it's all about information about Lent here. No, I won't talk about that, actually.

Oh, you lose confidence in it? Oh, okay. Sorry, sorry. Well, what can we talk? Talk with King Charles for me. Why do you think about that? I think it's just a weird that, I don't think we've ever really

heard about, you know, the royal family's health problems. And now I've got to know all about ass cancer and interracial marriage. There's no decorum anymore. There's no dignity to it. I'm back on board now.

There we go. Had a moment there. I'm like interracial unlock something. Oh, yeah. You heard about Anna Stubblefield. Anna Stubblefield? Yeah. No.

This is a white woman we can hate. Okay. Yeah. So, Louis Tauru... Add her to the list. Louis Tauru has got a new documentary coming out, right? Oh, okay. It's about Anna Stubblefield.

I was like, who's Anna Stubberfield? Turns out she was a Rutgers. Routgers? Rutgers University. Where Jackie Jr. was supposed to go? Oh, what? He dropped out and went down a wrong path. woke up this morning

and you get yourself you see they're doing TikTok Sopranos now What's that? They edit all the episodes Chinese Srinos No they edited

The episodes Every episode down to Less than a minute Oh So you know the episode of Sopranos Six ages to watch it Like an hour You can watch it

It's on the toilet You can take a shit And watch If you take a good shit now You can watch about five episodes A whole season watch a whole season yeah

if I had chilly the night before yes sir but anyway so Anas Doublefield this is fucked up now it's not funny at all oh she was a professor like 40 years old

43 okay you're right that's disgusting why'd you tell me about that vile freak but she had I don't know why she had like

she had some kind of connection to this black guy who was like mentally I think physically disabled all right and she's was like, I'm going to give him grinds. And the family were like, okay, good, you know.

And then she came back. Yeah, but she came back. It was like the blind side in the way, all right? Right. But then imagine blindside, but then she comes back, she's like, oh, by the way, me and your son are in love. They're like, yeah, we're in love. He loves me. We have sex every night. He can't consent to this.

He's like, yes, he can consent with his eyes. And then I went, she, it was a big court case about it. And it's kind of like the how can you give consent? How disabled was? like, what are we talking here? I mean, like, I think he literally didn't know where he was.

Wow. Yeah. Why was she offered to be a tutor for him? Did she want to get him? He just needs, uh, well, look, we'll just break out the abacus. I know he's, he's like nonverbal and he can't really process information

and a sort of, uh, sensory capacity. But you know what? If we just crack the books, I'm sure he'll, he'll make it to Harvard. Jesus. I, oh, me, I saw a blog. line side. Maybe he can play football someday. Or he could be the football, maybe.

I don't know. I'm sure there's some loophole. Again, I don't want to ever in his podcast say something that's not correct. Okay, or exaggerate anyway. So I want to watch documentary first. It hasn't been a good Louis documentary on a long time. You're right. You know what was weird, actually? During the pandemic, he did this series

where he started watching his old episodes and talking about this? Yeah, yeah. Oh, what was this on YouTube? I saw it on the... I think it was like on fucking BBC or something like that. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he did a lot of those interviews, and the FK.K.A. Twigs one's really good.

Oh, was it? It was all about show of the booth? Oh, would she... Yeah, it's very, very interesting. Was it? Yeah, it's very... What would she say? Not good things.

What? Yeah. What do you mean? She said even Stephen was up to no good. I refused to believe it. It was good podcast. His sister, Wren, would have put him on the straight and arrow. Wren Stevens, she didn't tolerate any...

funny business. But I recommend the episodes but he kind of went into doing podcasts for a while and I was a bit

worried that he'd be distracted about that because easy money you don't have to go off and talk to people yeah

or you don't have to go off filming and you know oh I have to wear a suit be around smelly people he never wore a suit

to talk to a drug addict in Vegas great that'll be fun I have to talk to Jimmy Saville again get the Ouija board out

and I have to just convince everyone watching that I had no idea Sure, mate It's good to see him back One of his last documentaries Was the alt-right one

We're like baked Alaska Oh yeah Yeah, that was interesting I liked that And was that Nick Funtus? Funtus in it, yeah I think Funtus, I haven't heard about Funtas in a while

He's kind of been de-platformed off of everything That was always the case I know, but like Again, you can go on cozy TV and watch him if you want Is he, is he on X? Did he get to go back on X?

Oh, definitely, everyone's on X these days, James, yeah He'll be hosting SNL soon I hope so That'll be great It's all there's a bleed over now Like all this like kind of Culture War stuff

Everyone's kind of just giving up on it Because like turns out like people It's like all people It's like oh I can make a bit money off this Oh okay yeah Yeah Almost like maybe that was the motivation The entire time

So you shut up James I don't need your negative energy Multinational corporations Stop going after the corporations James We're not punching We're not punching down on the corporations here.

They've been through enough, for God's sake. You have a poor old Boeing, by the way. No, what? Boeing are falling apart. You know, pilots, I was talking to a guy who's connected this a while ago, he said, all the pilots, they call Bowings the Widowmakers.

Whoa. Yeah, they're proper danes. See, the door fell off? Yeah. Just today. What did they offer them all, like, 20 quid or something? Yeah, free Coca-Cola. Man, just today, they're, like, checking out a plane, they found a bunch of holes in it. They're like, well, this is not supposed to be holes.

in the plane. Well, yeah. Remember the one was on fire a while ago? No, I didn't see that one. There was someone, took a video of a Boeing flying by on fire. They're like, oh, that shouldn't be.

A Boeing were like, ah, shut up. Oh, I didn't realize you were an aerodynamics engineer. The fire makes it go faster. That's right. Yeah. And then there's another one. We call it the red eye. Another one, the wheel, the fucking

little wheel at the front of the plane? Yes. I'm not an expert in these things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It fell off. Okay. They were about to fly. you're about to take off and like bong

like what is that? The wheels on the ground the wheels fall on a guy's head on a baggage handler Yeah, yeah, so thankfully no one No one, no human was heard Who are you talking to? You're talking to a pilot or something? No, I was just talking about a fucking old hobo really Yeah

He was eating out of the bin and I was like, give us a bit of that Come on, don't be greedy I'm hungry Yeah, yeah You greedy little pig He's so hungry So, yeah, not's cool though, the new Louie documentary Yeah, I look forward to

to find out... Actually, sorry. Speaking of Louis documentaries. Don't interrupt me. Sorry, you go. There is a documentary about Louis C.K. out, apparently. You're telling me about that ages ago.

And apparently, no, they don't think it's okay. I don't think that's even a real documentary, James. I think it is. I think I didn't make it up. I'm not mentally ill. Prove it. I think... I'm fine. Boeing is fine, and you're full of shit,

me. How about that? Go on read your little Jesus freak pamphlet And fuck all It's pretty good No You're giving up anything for Lent

Is you given up Doing a Louie What was that mean You're giving enough masturbation You're saying I'm a sexual predator No Is that the joke? Is that the gag here

I think that's funny Is it? You're in a weird mood I am Yeah But you've got a lot of stuff going on But tomorrow Tomorrow man

The gig will make it all work while Oh yes I mean If there's one thing I can always count on to turn this frown upside down it's a gig in the hippony bridge in man you'll be emceeing so you'll be the main you'll be like Dean Martin

yeah more like Dean Gaffney but all right you have a great time I'll be there as well I'm actually not going to be there but I'll be there in spirit I'll be on the phone to you the whole time are you doing it yet ask them where they're from you'll be Skyping in

to emce I have I haven't really gone out country to do gigs in a while no you know but back in my early days when I was a young comic that was like eager

and like bushy tail and bushy bushy vaginas I'd be like oh let's go oh I gig and it's four hours away yeah a gig that's nine hours away in Ireland

that seems unusual but yeah we'll do it's rock and roll yeah and you get there and it's like a and they're watching a football and you're there

and like, yeah, just so you know, they're trying to watch the football. So you're doing the gig, be quiet, all right,

because they are angry. And you'd be like, this is, oh, I didn't get paid or anything. Yeah. The money didn't sully the art. It's purely about the craft.

Oh, I did so many gigs where you'd rock up and like, no one there is, like, you're doing a what? I was like,

comedy gig. Here. Yes, I am. I'm like, George Carlin. I've got lots of takes on things. Yeah. My political opinions.

Dare I say, may shake the institution to its core. Yeah. So many gigs are like, like, and they're not even facing you. Yeah. That's it. They're literally like, what the fuck's that? Who's that buffedish? Yeah.

I kind of want to, this is maybe like a hard challenge now? to go back over like my old emails and like there's all these like weird little pubs I've been to over years I just want to like go to some of those pubs again just to like kind of look around like Jesus this is like just like a like a pub

in like core town where's that it's uh kind of a Wicklow experts on my diet if you these pubs it wouldn't be that hard to do like you just hop in the car and go there it's like going just like Jesus even worse than I imagine yeah what would you do exactly you just drive there

you lock at it like I'm like, I'm like Louis Taru I walk around like, yeah. Do you remember me? Do you remember my jokes, do you? That's right. I've returned.

The prodigal son hath returned. Don't cry, love. Look, I'm brine's back. Brino tool. Where's Derek? He killed himself. Oh, probably misses my jokes. That's what the time.

I'll be here to chase the blues away. But multiple gigs. You've done some of these well, by the way. done some with you you where they go just to know we've got a very high suicide

rate in the town so don't mention suicide all right yes yes I'm actually doing a gig

there next week so yeah that'll be fun I look forward to that they need me oh yeah I kind of miss

I kind of maybe kind of hard well the Dublin gigs like all the Dublin gigs I don't get yeah yeah

but like it's gonna, like I might make an effort trying to do, like, you know, like, my friend was doing Galloway there a while, but I'm going on a Gullway to do a gig there in a while, or like, even you're doing Kilkenny, let's say, you know? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna get onto that Kilkenny guy and put my name in the hat, you know? Yeah, yeah, you do that.

I'm young, I'm still young. Well, I'm still young of her full of Spunk still. Yes, that's true. Yeah. That's how you got the gig in the first place. Hey-oh! I didn't get the gig. He just creamed me. He just creamed your asshole. And I was like, well, Wait a man, are you a comedy promoter? Oh, you're not.

Oh, I said I'm a common, you a promoter. Then he rapes your bum, and you take it right up there, and you love it. Yeah, I'm going to try, organize a few, maybe do a little tour. Yeah? Someone recently suggested we do a tour on tour. No, someone recently said me and you should do a tour and called the Bad Boys of Irish comedy. Wouldn't that be good? That would be so good.

We do, like, promo videos, or I crush a can on my head. I'm smoking two cigarettes at once. Yeah. This ain't your daddy's comedy toy. Tell your grandma to stay at home. Yeah, we bought, where his poster is like, you're smoking a cigar and I've got tape on my mouth. Yeah.

I'm smoking an aborted fetus in a bong. Yeah, that's right. I'm the bad boy of comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Now, what are we talking about? Louis Thru. he's back

I'm looking forward to that I feel a bit tired now even though I haven't done anything today I need to get back into running man I think I might go running straight after this Yeah? Yeah No don't even stop recording

Let's just keep going I'll just drive along you in the car Come on you, you bum Hurry up You want to be a podcaster I have this idea I've been talking about this for a while now I want to do Doctor Who Minna

but you don't seem too interested the number of times you have mentioned Doctor Who to me today like you're like I think I might start watching them all from the very beginning and you keep saying it

it's like I'm not going to stop you because I don't care enough about you to stop you I know it's bad for you I know it's going to ruin your life but I don't dare and then when we make the documentary years later

he was my brother And I wanted him to stop But he just wouldn't He was an animal Well I had another one Okay Yeah Another idea of a segment

I don't know if this is a strong segment But it's good to Brainstorm on the podcast Yes it is It's a free one Who cares, you know? Time Person of the Year Time Person of the Year

So they've been doing Person of the Year Time magazine since 1927 Okay I'll talk might be good To kind of go through each one Because it's kind of like a good time capsule To what was going on in American culture

Right Yeah So like for example the first one, 1927, Charles Limburg. Okay, the Limburg baby. Yeah. Now, was he like an entrepreneur or like a... An anti-Semite.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he made his money from anti-Semitism. Back when that was a hot dollar. I tell you it's coming back. Oh, it is, yeah. And the next guy, Walter Chrysler. As in the car manufacturer guy? All right.

Now, here's the thing. I don't know how interesting this would be because I was thinking I could read all the names. Gandhi So it's like 100 I don't know 1927 to 20 So what is it

96 names I don't even know You're doing a lot of maths there I don't know Is she lot in it Gandhi Where was Gandhi Sex pest

He was so He was sex pest No I would not disagree with you He was a panty sniffer You know who the first The first woman For the person of the year He used to be man of the year

But it changed it You're not going like this Caitlin Jenner No Wallace Simpson Who Wallace Simpson 1936

Now do you know her Wallace Yeah As in Wallace and Gromit Simpson No You know her She's not gonna like

Just gonna get you angry Okay She's the hussy They got with King Edward And made him Abdicate the Trone Oh what Yeah

Her pussy's so good Dirty bitch Yeah she was the Megan Markle of her day Wallace Everyone's like Oh I don't like her Oh let me spag on your tits

Wallace Da-da-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D 1938, Hitler. Hell yeah. I don't think I need to explain Hitler too much. You're like, who's that charming man? Then Stalin, then Churchill.

Okay. So for a while, time would keep getting trouble. They'd pick, like, the first of the year doesn't mean the best person. They just mean the person with the biggest impact. Okay.

But they keep on explaining it. So what, you think Hitler was the best? They're like, no, no. I got sick of explaining us. They're just kind of picking good people. cancel culture dude oh you can't even

award Hitler the person of the year award anymore can't win a Grammy anymore oh but Ricky Jervais God huh so then I don't like this when you have a concept so 1950 you know who wins it

no the American fighting man well that's not a person yeah it's not even a thing Pearl Harbor hello Now, there's a really funny one where I think they picked a dumbo The elephant

Yeah, they picked Dumbo The Big Ears Yeah, yeah, they picked the elephant, okay But then Pearl Harbor happened They were like, oh, we should probably give it to the president Looks a bit silly now Yeah, another one, okay, so

1960, you know who won? Scientists What? Yeah And then John F. Kennedy won the year after that. Who's better? Who fuck Mark? Merlin Monroe.

Ah, she probably banged a few science geeks. She'd fuck a scientist. That was the original beauty and the geese. Marlon Monroe. Happy birthday. Mr. Physicist. Well, she fucked Epstein. Oh, no.

What's the name of that guy from Oppenheimer? Not Oppenheimer. Jeffrey Epstein. No, not Jeffrey Epstein. He took his tongue out. Oh, Einstein. Einstein. That's it.

Yeah. Jeffrey Einstein. That's it. Yeah. He split the child's at him Linden Johnson won a load of these Of course What's there

Oh fucking 1969 Middle Americans won Last time they ever won Anything Bunch of fucking corn fed Opie and addicted dumboes I'm going to jump a little bit ahead No one really cares about somebody's like

Oh in 1975 Women Buh No Wrong wrong that's the first time I've disagreed with it

Hitler no problem who's also around the 70s surely something else could have won in the 70s Martin Luther King don't go crazy man who else now

somebody has never heard of 1982 the computer oh okay Reagan I don't know somebody's Gorvachev

it's not for exciting sorry man sorry I thought to be more... Who won it last year? Yeah, let's just jump ahead to more present times, okay? Who won it in 2001?

Man, 1999 Jeff Bezos. Oh! He's been around... I forgot how long he's been around, yeah. And then Bush, Giuliani won in 2001,

which makes sense. He was a hero. He was a sex symbol. Well, only to you and your mother. My mother was like, look at that, that's a man. Oh, look at that piece of ass.

Yeah, he was America's mayor for a while, there in you know oh you're going to love this now in 2006 you know who won you you yes yeah yes mom we did it yes it's so funny you won it like what's ironic because 2006 was the year I lost my virginity so in a way I kind of did win it's pretty good they picked you why oh you yeah because it represents the content creators in the world wide web you who You, the Chinese baseball place. You's on first.