Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 222 : Honey Trapped
Episode Date: April 20, 2024WW2 history and Lebron. A great night for Brian....
 Transcript
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                                        We are back guys
                                         
                                        And we're back in my room
                                         
                                        I had Cadden downstairs for a bit
                                         
                                        And it was too much for him
                                         
                                        I was downstairs in the penthouse suite
                                         
                                        That's how it works right
                                         
                                        We're down in the lovely luxurious sitting room
                                         
                                        And now we're up back up
                                         
    
                                        In the little squalid hole
                                         
                                        You call your boudoir
                                         
                                        It's a nice hole
                                         
                                        That's all right
                                         
                                        I look after it
                                         
                                        I've seen better holes
                                         
                                        I've got my copies of private eye here
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
    
                                        Look I've got my new copies
                                         
                                        So I have my old
                                         
                                        I've got the Phoenix here
                                         
                                        Yes
                                         
                                        we'll look at that later on
                                         
                                        but this is
                                         
                                        the new private eye
                                         
                                        and it's all about
                                         
    
                                        the honey trops
                                         
                                        I can't talk
                                         
                                        the I'm not a very good journalist
                                         
                                        the honey trap
                                         
                                        scandals
                                         
                                        I'm here to expose
                                         
                                        the gate water
                                         
                                        what is it
                                         
    
                                        so honey trap
                                         
                                        I wouldn't be a very good
                                         
                                        news man
                                         
                                        I was like
                                         
                                        the Boston Wommings
                                         
                                        I mean the
                                         
                                        I forget it
                                         
                                        no one cares
                                         
    
                                        but I just give up
                                         
                                        during this broadcast
                                         
                                        I'm like
                                         
                                        no one cares
                                         
                                        about the news
                                         
                                        fuck it
                                         
                                        no
                                         
                                        have you heard
                                         
    
                                        about like
                                         
                                        the honey
                                         
                                        traps
                                         
                                        in the UK
                                         
                                        at the moment
                                         
                                        no
                                         
                                        so multiple
                                         
                                        politicians
                                         
    
                                        have been
                                         
                                        honey trapped
                                         
                                        so basically
                                         
                                        what happens
                                         
                                        is commenting
                                         
                                        you get a text
                                         
                                        from a girl
                                         
                                        being like
                                         
    
                                        hi
                                         
                                        remember me
                                         
                                        it's Janet
                                         
                                        okay
                                         
                                        and most lads
                                         
                                        are like
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        Janet
                                         
    
                                        yes Janet
                                         
                                        of course
                                         
                                        I
                                         
                                        I spaffed on
                                         
                                        your bosoms
                                         
                                        as I'd call
                                         
                                        and I wasn't
                                         
                                        even deterred
                                         
    
                                        by the fact that you were 19,
                                         
                                        which is rather old for me, you know,
                                         
                                        but,
                                         
                                        uh-huh,
                                         
                                        yes.
                                         
                                        But the thing is, like,
                                         
                                        normally you'd have to do a bit of like,
                                         
                                        remember we met at the party,
                                         
    
                                        you're so handsome,
                                         
                                        oh, I'm going running,
                                         
                                        here's a,
                                         
                                        here's a picture of me.
                                         
                                        Like,
                                         
                                        kind of like,
                                         
                                        back and forth,
                                         
                                        you know,
                                         
    
                                        like, oh, I'm in the shower now,
                                         
                                        but you won't see that,
                                         
                                        he-he,
                                         
                                        and then, like,
                                         
                                        oh, send the picture.
                                         
                                        Like, maybe you send that picture.
                                         
                                        It's like,
                                         
                                        oh, I'll send you a picture of my,
                                         
    
                                        my chest.
                                         
                                        It's like,
                                         
                                        well, maybe put the camera down a little bit.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                        A lot of these guys is like, hi, I'm Janet.
                                         
                                        It's like, do you want to see my cock?
                                         
                                        Do you want like, my cock and the
                                         
                                        the diagram for Trident?
                                         
    
                                        The nuclear codes.
                                         
                                        You want to see me sticking my
                                         
                                        cock on the Margaret Thatcher
                                         
                                        Memorial bench? Here it is.
                                         
                                        Look at that while the pigeons and the plebs
                                         
                                        look on.
                                         
                                        I gasped by my knob.
                                         
                                        so that's one thing
                                         
    
                                        okay
                                         
                                        and obviously
                                         
                                        like I think
                                         
                                        this day and age
                                         
                                        like I think
                                         
                                        back in the day
                                         
                                        if you got caught
                                         
                                        in like any kind of
                                         
    
                                        like
                                         
                                        internet sex thing
                                         
                                        it was like
                                         
                                        oh it's e
                                         
                                        cyber scandal
                                         
                                        erotic
                                         
                                        e pictures
                                         
                                        yeah yeah
                                         
    
                                        and it was
                                         
                                        WWW
                                         
                                        dot
                                         
                                        and the W
                                         
                                        stands for
                                         
                                        wanking
                                         
                                        online
                                         
                                        the worldwide
                                         
    
                                        wanking web
                                         
                                        not the best headline
                                         
                                        but I'm sorry
                                         
                                        I wasn't privately educated
                                         
                                        like these honey trap perverts
                                         
                                        but so I think
                                         
                                        at this day and age
                                         
                                        like so a few of them being caught
                                         
    
                                        and people are like
                                         
                                        I actually feel
                                         
                                        sad
                                         
                                        I feel his embarrassment
                                         
                                        I think we should
                                         
                                        as a society
                                         
                                        we should be kinder
                                         
                                        to do politicians
                                         
    
                                        that take pictures of her cocks
                                         
                                        yes
                                         
                                        you know
                                         
                                        and they're kind of like
                                         
                                        you know
                                         
                                        who are
                                         
                                        I'm Spartacus
                                         
                                        I'm Spartacus
                                         
    
                                        you know
                                         
                                        I'm Spartac
                                         
                                        cock. Yeah, it's a very common thing
                                         
                                        now, like everyone's sending
                                         
                                        you know, sexy pictures
                                         
                                        online. Yeah, I think, you know, like
                                         
                                        this is what do you want? This is what the
                                         
                                        Zionists want by and they want to corrupt us as a
                                         
    
                                        society. They're trying to take us further away
                                         
                                        from God. That's why they're having
                                         
                                        children spreading their butt holes
                                         
                                        on Pornhub and you pay
                                         
                                        $12.99 a month for it.
                                         
                                        You'll see that in Pornhub. Believe me, you do,
                                         
                                        mate. Now, they've been done many times
                                         
                                        for showing underage.
                                         
    
                                        apparently.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        But anyway,
                                         
                                        in regards.
                                         
                                        They banned it in Texas.
                                         
                                        You can't get
                                         
                                        Pornhub in Texas
                                         
                                        anymore.
                                         
    
                                        Can you know?
                                         
                                        No,
                                         
                                        you have to,
                                         
                                        well,
                                         
                                        you have to like
                                         
                                        show a picture
                                         
                                        of your ID
                                         
                                        to like love.
                                         
    
                                        To who?
                                         
                                        The postman.
                                         
                                        No,
                                         
                                        the web camera,
                                         
                                        Brian,
                                         
                                        you fool.
                                         
                                        Oh,
                                         
                                        I don't you have to
                                         
    
                                        go to like
                                         
                                        government building
                                         
                                        and be like,
                                         
                                        hello.
                                         
                                        With your cock
                                         
                                        just like a box
                                         
                                        of tissues,
                                         
                                        your pants
                                         
    
                                        around your ankle.
                                         
                                        I really want to come.
                                         
                                        Where's Governor Abbott?
                                         
                                        I'm ready.
                                         
                                        I'm ready for my
                                         
                                        Close up, Mr. DeMille.
                                         
                                        This goes to John Fetterman.
                                         
                                        But, yeah, apparently you have to show a picture of your driver's license or a government
                                         
    
                                        ID to be able to...
                                         
                                        To the webcam.
                                         
                                        Yeah, to access.
                                         
                                        This is like, isn't like so many privacy concerns.
                                         
                                        Listen, Matt, but Texas passed the law, but it's just for pornhub specifically.
                                         
                                        Isn't Joe Rogan in Texas?
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Oh my God.
                                         
    
                                        Like Shane Gillis was talking about it on the last episode.
                                         
                                        It's like, can't get porn hub here anymore.
                                         
                                        Have to go to like X videos.
                                         
                                        and whack tube and jizzyspunk.com, you know?
                                         
                                        I like jizzyspunk.
                                         
                                        Oh, it's good.
                                         
                                        They do good work.
                                         
                                        They do good work.
                                         
    
                                        That's where I learned about the Zionists,
                                         
                                        the comment sections on the videos of jizzyspunk.org.
                                         
                                        You guys like, yeah, I don't read the, I don't own a TV.
                                         
                                        I'm not, uh, they want you to be fat and ignorant, you far, you swine.
                                         
                                        The opium of the masses.
                                         
                                        The common section of porn is always very funny.
                                         
                                        I don't look at the comments too much now.
                                         
                                        When I do, you're right, it is pretty funny.
                                         
    
                                        Sometimes I was just like, I will save you.
                                         
                                        It's like, oh, dad, it's all sadness.
                                         
                                        What a sweet angel.
                                         
                                        Or like when they die, when a porn star dies, it all.
                                         
                                        Like, you're in the heavens now.
                                         
                                        God is jizzing on your tits.
                                         
                                        You're getting Bukakkied by the 12 disciples
                                         
                                        While Judas asphy wanks from hell
                                         
    
                                        You're getting black clock in the clouds
                                         
                                        Black rock in the clouds
                                         
                                        Black raw by the Muslim Brotherhood
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        No, it's very funny now
                                         
                                        When women die I get a chuckle
                                         
                                        also male porn stars
                                         
                                        you know
                                         
    
                                        that's such a tragedy
                                         
                                        hey you know
                                         
                                        it's okay to not be okay
                                         
                                        there's a mental health crisis among the bros
                                         
                                        you see you think guys like me
                                         
                                        with big dicks
                                         
                                        think it's all you know
                                         
                                        sunshine lollipops
                                         
    
                                        but now we struggle too
                                         
                                        because all that blood
                                         
                                        that flows to our big cocks
                                         
                                        there's not enough going up to me nogging
                                         
                                        so I get sadness in my brain.
                                         
                                        There's like a World War II
                                         
                                        like Captain Tom veteran in a wheelchair
                                         
                                        and you just push past him
                                         
    
                                        and you go up to like someone like called Bend Over
                                         
                                        and I thank you very much for your service.
                                         
                                        Please.
                                         
                                        You help people in so many ways.
                                         
                                        You've been awarded with the Purple Head Award
                                         
                                        for bravery.
                                         
                                        You were the first one to bang a 17 year old on camera.
                                         
                                        You helped this country
                                         
    
                                        through our time of crisis.
                                         
                                        the Purple Head Award
                                         
                                        Does that work?
                                         
                                        I think that plays
                                         
                                        They don't get it
                                         
                                        wouldn't they?
                                         
                                        Is that track?
                                         
                                        Does that hit all the quadrants?
                                         
    
                                        But,
                                         
                                        okay,
                                         
                                        so hit me,
                                         
                                        what's this?
                                         
                                        My point is,
                                         
                                        no,
                                         
                                        so my point is,
                                         
                                        normally that happens
                                         
    
                                        at this stage,
                                         
                                        it's like,
                                         
                                        look,
                                         
                                        we've all sent dick pics.
                                         
                                        It could have been,
                                         
                                        hey,
                                         
                                        that could happen to me,
                                         
                                        you know?
                                         
    
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        Like,
                                         
                                        these scams are pretty intelligent.
                                         
                                        Like,
                                         
                                        Dill,
                                         
                                        look,
                                         
                                        so you could have a,
                                         
                                        it's not just always like,
                                         
    
                                        hey,
                                         
                                        I'm,
                                         
                                        sexy milf 420
                                         
                                        yeah it's not always that
                                         
                                        I'm jiggly tits
                                         
                                        027
                                         
                                        4 slash D
                                         
                                        there's a pleasure
                                         
    
                                        to me to imagine my
                                         
                                        a rose by any name
                                         
                                        was Cimel just as sweet
                                         
                                        jiggly tits like we went to school together
                                         
                                        I'm like oh yes
                                         
                                        I remember you well
                                         
                                        yes from the comprehensive
                                         
                                        very good
                                         
    
                                        but sometimes they've got technology now
                                         
                                        where it was replicate like you know
                                         
                                        because you know what's
                                         
                                        WhatsApp stuff like that
                                         
                                        you only see a picture
                                         
                                        is James Cadden
                                         
                                        Yes
                                         
                                        So someone will text you
                                         
    
                                        with your profile picture
                                         
                                        with like
                                         
                                        J-A-M-M-E-S maybe Cadden
                                         
                                        or someone's just like
                                         
                                        pure just James Cadden
                                         
                                        Yes
                                         
                                        And you're not going to be like
                                         
                                        Check to make sure
                                         
    
                                        Is this really James Cadden
                                         
                                        You're not like checking the number
                                         
                                        You're just like you don't pay attention
                                         
                                        Like to prove it
                                         
                                        Tell me the top five
                                         
                                        Most Hated races
                                         
                                        By people in Monaghan
                                         
                                        It changes every week
                                         
    
                                        You know
                                         
                                        For some reason, Eskimo's on it.
                                         
                                        Yeah, because they need to chill out, man.
                                         
                                        But it's almost like seeing
                                         
                                        it's like take for granted now.
                                         
                                        You want to get your cock out,
                                         
                                        it's going to, people are going to see eventually.
                                         
                                        People are a lot more sympathetic to, if you get, you know,
                                         
    
                                        scammed and...
                                         
                                        It happens the best of us, you know.
                                         
                                        But this guy, where he fucked up is,
                                         
                                        one of these guys, one of these Tory MPs,
                                         
                                        is he was like
                                         
                                        oh don't tell anyone
                                         
                                        I'll give you the numbers
                                         
                                        of other politicians
                                         
    
                                        oh
                                         
                                        so he gave out other politicians
                                         
                                        because he was like
                                         
                                        and you won't leak my dick pics
                                         
                                        then they're like
                                         
                                        oh sorry I can't hear you
                                         
                                        oh wow
                                         
                                        so that's how you rock the boat
                                         
    
                                        that's he piss everyone off
                                         
                                        yeah what a fucking idiot man
                                         
                                        I know yeah
                                         
                                        what did he think he was gonna
                                         
                                        and you guys are trustworthy
                                         
                                        yeah big tits
                                         
                                        you wouldn't let me down
                                         
                                        jiggly mill 420
                                         
    
                                        come on
                                         
                                        we're brothers in arms now
                                         
                                        bind it together
                                         
                                        secret. So people, I forget his name
                                         
                                        now, people are making fun of him, and the private
                                         
                                        eye, the magazine I guess sometimes
                                         
                                        in the shop, they've been
                                         
                                        talking with this a lot there. I tell you,
                                         
    
                                        private eye's been going since
                                         
                                        like 18 something. Really?
                                         
                                        It's a very interesting magazine, yeah.
                                         
                                        At one stage,
                                         
                                        is it a, not Clive,
                                         
                                        Dudley, it was Dudley Moore and
                                         
                                        Peter Cook. Peter Cook was a main
                                         
                                        funder for years and years and years. Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        I mean sued a lot. It's very interesting.
                                         
                                        They put a book out a few years ago about the history of private eye.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        And I was like, oh, that sounds interesting.
                                         
                                        I don't want to read it because a lot of scathe.
                                         
                                        The broken lot of news stories talked about in the past is interesting kind of like publication.
                                         
                                        Sure, yeah.
                                         
                                        And it's such a kind of like, almost like it's weird because the sales of Private Eye are consistently very, very high.
                                         
    
                                        Really?
                                         
                                        They are not struggling at all.
                                         
                                        Well, you know what?
                                         
                                        I imagine people that are in this sort of echelon of society.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Because it's all stories about them.
                                         
                                        and their friends or like
                                         
                                        your political rivals people you like
                                         
    
                                        so let's say it like if you're
                                         
                                        so this is a scandal all about Tory
                                         
                                        MPs all the Labour boys are probably
                                         
                                        lapping it up also the Tory guys are buying it as well
                                         
                                        they wouldn't know it's being said yeah
                                         
                                        no, I'll just saw you bloody
                                         
                                        no but private eye
                                         
                                        I get that checked
                                         
    
                                        Mike that lamp looks aggressive
                                         
                                        otherwise you're a twat
                                         
                                        and look this is the stuff here like
                                         
                                        he apologised for his cock up
                                         
                                        oh yeah
                                         
                                        I don't get it.
                                         
                                        What?
                                         
                                        What's that me?
                                         
    
                                        Was that like innuendo a summy?
                                         
                                        That's what you puffs like,
                                         
                                        Inche?
                                         
                                        I prefer Burdard Manning.
                                         
                                        That was comedy.
                                         
                                        Well, so I went to like...
                                         
                                        You know how they brought back
                                         
                                        George Carlin AI?
                                         
    
                                        That's just a Bernard Manning AI.
                                         
                                        So in Brexit means Brexit guy.
                                         
                                        He's like, oh,
                                         
                                        the second he gets AI,
                                         
                                        he's like, I know what to do here.
                                         
                                        I know what Britain needs.
                                         
                                        Fucking Alex Bernard Manning.
                                         
                                        Back in my day
                                         
    
                                        We're chuckle brothers now
                                         
                                        It's chuckle non-binary's in chit
                                         
                                        To they, to them
                                         
                                        To they, to them
                                         
                                        To them
                                         
                                        To they, to them
                                         
                                        To they, to them
                                         
                                        I hired a translator
                                         
    
                                        Not to teach me
                                         
                                        Another language
                                         
                                        Just explain what the fuck
                                         
                                        Trans people are
                                         
                                        Oh, Bernard
                                         
                                        Bernard Manning
                                         
                                        Is Chubby Brown dead
                                         
                                        By the way?
                                         
    
                                        No, of course not
                                         
                                        Oh God
                                         
                                        Are you crazy?
                                         
                                        He was in Cork
                                         
                                        Not too long
                                         
                                        He's tried to be in Cork
                                         
                                        a while ago
                                         
                                        Yeah, it was a few years ago, like the Cork Opera House or something, and they, like, they banned them or they were like, no, you're not playing here.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        For the crack, I think we should watch a bit Chubby Brown sometime.
                                         
                                        Man, let's have him on.
                                         
                                        Isn't he weirdly, like, not Christian, but he's very like, you know, I'd never use rude language outside in the real world.
                                         
                                        I'd always kiss my wife on the head.
                                         
                                        I think he's very, like, grandfatherly in real life.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, but they're on stage.
                                         
                                        It's like, I was shagging the blackbird.
                                         
    
                                        at least I thought
                                         
                                        she were black turns out
                                         
                                        I just shited on her face
                                         
                                        chubby brown
                                         
                                        or something
                                         
                                        I don't know if that's
                                         
                                        an accurate representation
                                         
                                        of a sir Roy
                                         
    
                                        Chubby Brown
                                         
                                        I like to call it
                                         
                                        Knife of the Realm
                                         
                                        but yeah
                                         
                                        it's an interesting subculture
                                         
                                        that's sort of like British
                                         
                                        working man's clubs
                                         
                                        He probably, I don't know exactly now
                                         
    
                                        but he's probably selling better than like Josh Whitacom
                                         
                                        or something like that. Yeah, I'd imagine
                                         
                                        so. He's probably minted.
                                         
                                        Probably, yeah. I don't know. I don't.
                                         
                                        I can read all biography here. I'm just looking up
                                         
                                        I mean, I'll say this, like his
                                         
                                        fan base are the only ones who still
                                         
                                        own DVD players. Exactly.
                                         
    
                                        He's putting out DVDs, like he put a DVD
                                         
                                        out in 2023.
                                         
                                        Yeah. It probably did gangbusters,
                                         
                                        man. Yeah. Because who else
                                         
                                        is buying DVDs? Like you said.
                                         
                                        Stuart Lee, and he's only using them as a bit.
                                         
                                        disrespectful. Russell
                                         
                                        Kane worked very hard on that, sir,
                                         
    
                                        and you're just walking all over it.
                                         
                                        Maybe folks more of your marriage.
                                         
                                        Yeah. Actually, we were talking about Richard Gad
                                         
                                        earlier. I heard Richard Gadd and
                                         
                                        Bridget Christie were, you know,
                                         
                                        doing the nasty.
                                         
                                        Oh my, she's the one who, oh my God.
                                         
                                        No, no. It's consensual
                                         
    
                                        relationship. Oh, okay, okay, right.
                                         
                                        I thought you were about to blow my mind there and it's like, yeah.
                                         
                                        I meant to get back at him, Stuart Lee
                                         
                                        raped him. Take that.
                                         
                                        But he did it in a very kind of like
                                         
                                        funny way. Yeah, yeah. It was very
                                         
                                        self-aware. Halfway through the rape,
                                         
                                        he went into another room and was
                                         
    
                                        interviewing Alan Moore in black
                                         
                                        and white, and then he came back
                                         
                                        and did the rape. Raped
                                         
                                        him on a pile of bargain bin
                                         
                                        comedy DVDs,
                                         
                                        you know, it's hard to get raped when
                                         
                                        you're looking at a
                                         
                                        shitty JPEG of
                                         
    
                                        Josh Wittigum's face.
                                         
                                        Oh, well, quacko, what an awful
                                         
                                        pick, oh, this is. It's a
                                         
                                        conund one.
                                         
                                        All the sacred cows.
                                         
                                        I'm taking them all down, Brian.
                                         
                                        I'm sorry, I went off on a mad tangent.
                                         
                                        Let's get back to Private Eye.
                                         
    
                                        Sorry, sorry.
                                         
                                        That really got me there.
                                         
                                        The Hallamor bit especially really got me.
                                         
                                        Thank you.
                                         
                                        Thank you.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        I have my moments.
                                         
                                        Now, here's what I want you to do for me.
                                         
    
                                        In later episodes, when I'm feeling sad or not riffing well,
                                         
                                        and you're looking at me and you're thinking,
                                         
                                        why the fuck do I put up with this fat retard?
                                         
                                        remember these little moments
                                         
                                        I don't think I think these little
                                         
                                        moments of brilliates you know
                                         
                                        and same goes to you
                                         
                                        dear Lister
                                         
    
                                        when I'm gone
                                         
                                        don't mourn just carry on
                                         
                                        just rejoice
                                         
                                        every time you hear this heart
                                         
                                        of my voice
                                         
                                        it's not even that funny really
                                         
                                        my point is like I
                                         
                                        try to look up my Kindle
                                         
    
                                        yes private eye
                                         
                                        the history of private eye
                                         
                                        on the book yeah yeah it's about
                                         
                                        you know about the hundreds of
                                         
                                        your history and my Kindle froze
                                         
                                        I just looked up private eye and it froze
                                         
                                        and I just went on like gay erotica
                                         
                                        What? Yeah because like
                                         
    
                                        We Kindle by the way because they
                                         
                                        I don't know if it's an algorithm thing but
                                         
                                        that you can self-publish on Kindle
                                         
                                        Oh wow
                                         
                                        And there's a lot of self-published erotica on Kindle
                                         
                                        If you look up anything like let's say look horses
                                         
                                        It's all about the horse trainer
                                         
                                        And it's a cover, it's always like a cover of like
                                         
    
                                        A man's torso, rip torso
                                         
                                        And like that's it
                                         
                                        into horse trainer.
                                         
                                        You look up
                                         
                                        like wine making
                                         
                                        it's like the wine maker
                                         
                                        and it's like
                                         
                                        the private eye
                                         
    
                                        and it's like a guy
                                         
                                        just a shirtless man
                                         
                                        I couldn't change
                                         
                                        and for like
                                         
                                        I just couldn't change
                                         
                                        my Kindle
                                         
                                        I think my Kindle's getting old
                                         
                                        So it's just getting all
                                         
    
                                        the gay porn
                                         
                                        I've got you know
                                         
                                        when your Kindle gets old
                                         
                                        It's all gay porn
                                         
                                        It's a common problem
                                         
                                        Your Kindle sounds a lot
                                         
                                        Like a Tory MP
                                         
                                        You know
                                         
    
                                        They just get very
                                         
                                        Sorted the older they get
                                         
                                        But it's an interesting
                                         
                                        I like
                                         
                                        You know what is
                                         
                                        because I'm trying to stay off Twitter
                                         
                                        and it's kind of old school
                                         
                                        it's like vinyl in a way
                                         
    
                                        it's like to flip through the pages
                                         
                                        It's like medieval Twitter
                                         
                                        I'm like oh who's announced this week
                                         
                                        Oh interesting
                                         
                                        Oh I wouldn't like to be Jim Davidson right now
                                         
                                        They're really raking them over the colds here
                                         
                                        No I don't know
                                         
                                        Okay thank God
                                         
    
                                        They're always having a go
                                         
                                        With poor old Jim Davidson
                                         
                                        And all he did was try to make us laugh
                                         
                                        Is there anything you want to talk about
                                         
                                        this episode by the way
                                         
                                        I kind of like
                                         
                                        I need to recover
                                         
                                        for a second there
                                         
    
                                        I'm feeling like
                                         
                                        a bit dizzy
                                         
                                        but you
                                         
                                        anything else
                                         
                                        you want to talk about
                                         
                                        you only heard
                                         
                                        it's actually
                                         
                                        just real quick
                                         
    
                                        I mentioned like
                                         
                                        I'm reading
                                         
                                        private eye
                                         
                                        yes
                                         
                                        I'll listen to a little
                                         
                                        bit of
                                         
                                        a podcast a while ago
                                         
                                        and just randomly
                                         
    
                                        they were talking
                                         
                                        about Barbara Streisand
                                         
                                        on it
                                         
                                        right
                                         
                                        and they've been reading
                                         
                                        her
                                         
                                        autobiography
                                         
                                        apparently by the way
                                         
    
                                        her autobiography
                                         
                                        is like 900
                                         
                                        pages
                                         
                                        oh my god
                                         
                                        like it's like
                                         
                                        bigger than Ulysses
                                         
                                        it's bigger
                                         
                                        than Finnegan's wake
                                         
    
                                        or yeah
                                         
                                        It's this huge thing
                                         
                                        And they're saying it's really interesting
                                         
                                        So I don't really know much
                                         
                                        About Barbara Streisand
                                         
                                        I don't either
                                         
                                        She's been in like
                                         
                                        She was in Seinfeld
                                         
    
                                        Was she?
                                         
                                        Yeah she was an absolute
                                         
                                        Seinfeld
                                         
                                        She was like
                                         
                                        Huge like one of the first really
                                         
                                        Like mainstream
                                         
                                        Like gay icons
                                         
                                        Like gay guys really loved her
                                         
    
                                        And she did a lot
                                         
                                        She does a lot of like
                                         
                                        Like theatre
                                         
                                        And musical theatre
                                         
                                        Then obviously like a lot of movies
                                         
                                        In the 70s
                                         
                                        Like star is born
                                         
                                        I know beaches
                                         
    
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        The big thing to mention
                                         
                                        Seinfeld again
                                         
                                        like she was like this huge deal
                                         
                                        but again it was all before
                                         
                                        even my time
                                         
                                        yeah we missed it
                                         
                                        missed the both completely
                                         
    
                                        yeah would you believe
                                         
                                        that you know
                                         
                                        a middle age Jewish woman
                                         
                                        that didn't play very well
                                         
                                        in Monaghan
                                         
                                        that didn't
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        the Streisand effect
                                         
    
                                        didn't make it as far as Monaghan
                                         
                                        and you mentioned the gay clubs
                                         
                                        she actually got a start
                                         
                                        in a lot of bat houses and stuff
                                         
                                        right okay you know like
                                         
                                        you know James
                                         
                                        you know like the bat house in Dublin
                                         
                                        yes they're pretty kind of like
                                         
    
                                        dull. There's no music
                                         
                                        around in there, okay? In a lot of
                                         
                                        of the New York ones in that time, like that music
                                         
                                        because there's nowhere else to go. They're dancing
                                         
                                        the Charleston. But like there's nowhere
                                         
                                        nowadays you watch drag anywhere like
                                         
                                        the drag and all the kind of merge. Can't escape.
                                         
                                        Jesus Christ.
                                         
    
                                        You go in for a chicken fillet roll
                                         
                                        and it's a drag show. Welcome
                                         
                                        to the drag deli.
                                         
                                        No, please. I want to eat that chicken.
                                         
                                        Oh, you'll have to eat it out of my
                                         
                                        ass.
                                         
                                        6.50. After
                                         
                                        it's been in your orifice.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, what has happened to our great
                                         
                                        fish?
                                         
                                        I'm glad Michael Collins is dead.
                                         
                                        But what's my point?
                                         
                                        Oh yeah, so she got to start
                                         
                                        doing that. Like, it's a crazy time, okay?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        But they were saying her autobiography
                                         
    
                                        is interesting because
                                         
                                        there's not a second
                                         
                                        of like, I was lucky
                                         
                                        to get this or like, you know,
                                         
                                        this guy was nice to me.
                                         
                                        The whole thing is so like
                                         
                                        my incredible
                                         
                                        talent propelled me
                                         
    
                                        and like I did an audition
                                         
                                        and this is her writing this
                                         
                                        or ghost writers like everyone in the room
                                         
                                        was amazed
                                         
                                        like they said can you sing
                                         
                                        I sung one note
                                         
                                        everyone in the room I could tell
                                         
                                        was a second away from weeping
                                         
    
                                        because I'm so good
                                         
                                        so it's very very she's very very
                                         
                                        no was egotistical
                                         
                                        but she's very incredibly confident
                                         
                                        the incredible book I think egotistical
                                         
                                        would be an actor. No, no, no. No, she's speaking truth. And there's, and, uh, in the podcast,
                                         
                                        they're saying that, like, she has this weird thing where she's, she goes into a very, very
                                         
                                        minute detail about, like, weird things. So, like, you know, like, I was in this deli.
                                         
    
                                        I mentioned delis there. It's like, I went to this, uh, all night, uh, diner. And he used
                                         
                                        to do this, the pancakes this way. Yeah. But then they changed it. She's going to the little
                                         
                                        things like that. You know, I didn't like the change they made. Anyway, then I,
                                         
                                        then I signed the record deal. Like, there's lots of little things like that. But there's a
                                         
                                        guy she mentioned in the book apparently
                                         
                                        that in her side of story
                                         
                                        is her friend. Okay. But
                                         
                                        in, he says, he
                                         
    
                                        came out afterwards like, no, we were lovers.
                                         
                                        Oh. Yeah, so it's a bit of discrepancy
                                         
                                        there. Right. But a lot of stuff about him,
                                         
                                        she has a very vague memory.
                                         
                                        She's like, yeah, we went to the
                                         
                                        I went to the Grammys
                                         
                                        after party with, let's say, Greg.
                                         
                                        Right. And I don't remember much about after that then.
                                         
    
                                        But then afterwards then, when I
                                         
                                        got back from the party, like there's a lot
                                         
                                        of stuff like that, you know? I went for
                                         
                                        some pancakes and they change
                                         
                                        the batter mix again
                                         
                                        and do you know
                                         
                                        another fun fact she's very
                                         
                                        very obsessed with it is that Barbara
                                         
    
                                        Streisand or Streisand
                                         
                                        Streisand Streisand
                                         
                                        Streisand? I don't know how you say it correctly
                                         
                                        but she is very serious
                                         
                                        about don't get her name wrong
                                         
                                        to the point where
                                         
                                        on Siri
                                         
                                        it was getting her name wrong slightly
                                         
    
                                        and she called up Tim Cook
                                         
                                        to berate him.
                                         
                                        Wow.
                                         
                                        And be like, you know, change this.
                                         
                                        Wow.
                                         
                                        You anti-Semite.
                                         
                                        To be like, you know, she's very, very like,
                                         
                                        protecting her brand.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Well, I know, like, it is...
                                         
                                        I know the Streisand effect.
                                         
                                        That comes from her, of course.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        What exactly does that mean, though, the Streisand effect?
                                         
                                        So what happened is...
                                         
                                        It's the definition of.
                                         
    
                                        Her...
                                         
                                        She had a beach house, I believe.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        That was on Google Maps.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        And then she went to this whole...
                                         
                                        I think she tried to sue or something.
                                         
                                        She wanted that beach house off.
                                         
    
                                        basically wanted to erase that beach house
                                         
                                        from Google Maps. So it's just
                                         
                                        sand there. Yes.
                                         
                                        Okay. And because this became a new story
                                         
                                        then everyone googled her
                                         
                                        house. And it became this whole
                                         
                                        big thing where people are like... So
                                         
                                        she inadvertently
                                         
    
                                        got like the exact opposite
                                         
                                        response that she wanted. Exactly. She wanted
                                         
                                        no one to know and now everyone
                                         
                                        knows, right, okay. Yeah, it's like when you get
                                         
                                        accused of paedophilia. It's like
                                         
                                        the more you protest
                                         
                                        and you're more like, no, it's O'Toole.
                                         
                                        So yeah
                                         
    
                                        So Michael Jackson
                                         
                                        That's kind of like a Streisand effect
                                         
                                        Like if I sleep in bed with the kids
                                         
                                        And the kids don't get raped
                                         
                                        Then they know I didn't rape them
                                         
                                        It's good
                                         
                                        Come on kids get in the bed
                                         
                                        Cuddle up now
                                         
    
                                        I take the beat dirt
                                         
                                        Samoona
                                         
                                        You know
                                         
                                        I didn't realize
                                         
                                        I didn't realize that's what the Streisand effect was,
                                         
                                        so it's kind of like goofing up and getting...
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        You make it a scene and it becomes a bigger issue.
                                         
    
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Well, I listen to a podcast about that, basically.
                                         
                                        Chapo or...
                                         
                                        No, it's actually, here comes the guillotine.
                                         
                                        Oh.
                                         
                                        Not a...
                                         
                                        It's Frankie Boyle, Christopher MacArthur Boyd.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                        Do you know him?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        How do you know him?
                                         
                                        I saw him in the inter one night.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                        years ago before he blew off.
                                         
                                        Was he funny, was he?
                                         
    
                                        He was very funny, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, it's him and they're very funny.
                                         
                                        And then it's another woman that I could kind of take her leave, I'll be honest.
                                         
                                        Good.
                                         
                                        She's grand, but she's a little bit like, ah, you know.
                                         
                                        So, like, they be talking about, like, you know, like, Frankie Ball was saying some interest
                                         
                                        about how, like, basically America is Germany, basically.
                                         
                                        So, like, a lot of, like, American ideology and stuff is kind of German ideology.
                                         
    
                                        kind of mutated and even like a lot of Germans
                                         
                                        like it's very like even population wise
                                         
                                        there's a lot of Germans
                                         
                                        in America in America yeah
                                         
                                        and a lot of them by the way came over and were like
                                         
                                        no I'm actually Irish like because it was around the war
                                         
                                        oh so like Operation Paperclip
                                         
                                        no I so obviously that's a big example
                                         
    
                                        like Werner von Braun and all that
                                         
                                        but I mean just like regular people
                                         
                                        let's say a lot of German families
                                         
                                        in America when World War II kicked off
                                         
                                        we're like okay we're going to just change our identity
                                         
                                        right so like oh I'm called
                                         
                                        Ickden Spine, but that's it, that's an Irish name.
                                         
                                        That's from Sligo.
                                         
    
                                        Hello, my name is Vratwurst, Fitzpatrick.
                                         
                                        Of course, I hail from the county Kerry's, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I love to drink the Guinness potato drink.
                                         
                                        It's delicious.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        So it's like an interesting kind of like theory.
                                         
                                        I don't know how real it is.
                                         
    
                                        It's just talking about this stuff, okay?
                                         
                                        And then she'd be like, ay, yeah, they're all bombs, aren't they?
                                         
                                        Ah, it just kind of adds nothing to it really.
                                         
                                        The dynamics is kind of fun
                                         
                                        but they're talking about that on it. Actually speaking in Germany
                                         
                                        I have been watching a show
                                         
                                        called How the Nazis
                                         
                                        Lost World War II.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, it's good to learn from your mistakes, Brian, you know.
                                         
                                        Figure out what went wrong, you know?
                                         
                                        Because this next one, this is for keeps.
                                         
                                        Oh, we ain't playing this time.
                                         
                                        Wait till Carlo wakes up.
                                         
                                        It's very clever what the Nazis did. They became Jews
                                         
                                        and then carried out of genocides.
                                         
                                        It's very clever.
                                         
    
                                        Well done.
                                         
                                        The old switcheroo.
                                         
                                        You know, Germany by the...
                                         
                                        Switch a Jew.
                                         
                                        You know, Germany have been shutting down
                                         
                                        Jewish people's accounts
                                         
                                        for being anti-Semitic
                                         
                                        because they support Palestine.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, they're like Jews
                                         
                                        against Israel.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        It's such a kind of funny.
                                         
                                        It's honestly an overreach from Germany.
                                         
                                        Be like, okay, we won't make this mistake again.
                                         
                                        We're going to back the right horse this time.
                                         
                                        Get the riot gear, boys.
                                         
    
                                        We're doing it right.
                                         
                                        We're going to be on the right side of history.
                                         
                                        The Reich side of history.
                                         
                                        But the point is, okay, it's a show called How the Nazis Lost World War II.
                                         
                                        And it's pretty easy watching because every episode, I think it's like six episodes, and every episode was like a different topic.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        So the one I watched recently was like Hitler, basically they're like, it's so funny because it's like it presents as a kind of like a professional history show.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
    
                                        And it's from a few years ago as well.
                                         
                                        So they probably would change the language now.
                                         
                                        But it was like, yeah, Hitler was a junkie.
                                         
                                        He was a no good goofball
                                         
                                        He was all hopped up
                                         
                                        On fucking goofballs
                                         
                                        And he was jerking off to his little niche
                                         
                                        And he was fucking an Alsatian dog
                                         
    
                                        And he fucking painted like a queer
                                         
                                        I don't know
                                         
                                        A guy was a fruit cake
                                         
                                        But instead of being like
                                         
                                        Oh yeah he was on a lot of drugs
                                         
                                        And that probably affected him
                                         
                                        They're like he was a loser
                                         
                                        That's why he did drugs
                                         
    
                                        Anyone who does drugs the loser
                                         
                                        and they're probably going to lose at a war.
                                         
                                        Yeah, they're awful.
                                         
                                        And, like, they start off with, like,
                                         
                                        they also have to weird theories.
                                         
                                        I've never heard before.
                                         
                                        So one of them is, like,
                                         
                                        you know the way like he was a soldier
                                         
    
                                        and he got gassed?
                                         
                                        Mustard gas, wasn't it?
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        He was out commissioned for a while.
                                         
                                        In World War I.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        They also say he lost a testicle,
                                         
                                        but that could just be British propaganda,
                                         
    
                                        you know, who goes there.
                                         
                                        Actually, Churchill being like...
                                         
                                        Probably came from the private eye,
                                         
                                        and say.
                                         
                                        And all the Brian O'Tooleads of the world
                                         
                                        were like,
                                         
                                        it sounds rather credible to me.
                                         
                                        Oh, Eddorf, lost a ball
                                         
    
                                        Is one bollock short, you know
                                         
                                        But they say it was like
                                         
                                        A well-known thing that happens to get mustard gassed
                                         
                                        Where you become more psychopathic
                                         
                                        And you become, maybe this is true now
                                         
                                        They had a name for it
                                         
                                        But they say it affects your brain away
                                         
                                        And you start, you lose
                                         
    
                                        It sounds actually, I love this view
                                         
                                        You become more confident, more psychopathic
                                         
                                        And you lose your empathy
                                         
                                        Kind of like CTE, you know
                                         
                                        So it's like a certain kind of brain
                                         
                                        damage caused by the poison
                                         
                                        of the gas. Yeah, and they say like...
                                         
                                        That just turned you into a winner.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, this be...
                                         
                                        You stop having feelings like a pussy?
                                         
                                        I could see these grind mindset guys.
                                         
                                        Yeah, it's like, I'm going to mustard gas
                                         
                                        myself. It's like taking steroids
                                         
                                        they're in the gym with some mustard gas.
                                         
                                        Jocko, Willenix, just taking mustard gas
                                         
                                        supplements.
                                         
    
                                        But, so they say that
                                         
                                        and they also say like, he had no
                                         
                                        friends during World World
                                         
                                        War I.
                                         
                                        He was a loser.
                                         
                                        Nobody like, he couldn't get pushy.
                                         
                                        The guy was a dictator,
                                         
                                        not a dick giver,
                                         
    
                                        you know what I'm talking about?
                                         
                                        It was a little light on the loafers there.
                                         
                                        They had no one friend
                                         
                                        in World War I, okay?
                                         
                                        And the friends said he had a misshaping
                                         
                                        penis. Wow.
                                         
                                        Yeah, and they're like, that's probably why
                                         
                                        they did drugs. A lot of people with
                                         
    
                                        strange genitalia, they can't handle
                                         
                                        the real world.
                                         
                                        This is amazing.
                                         
                                        Where did you see this?
                                         
                                        on Netflix.
                                         
                                        Oh, my God.
                                         
                                        And again, it's so
                                         
                                        professionals,
                                         
    
                                        narrated by a guy
                                         
                                        who's something like
                                         
                                        John Hurt
                                         
                                        who's like,
                                         
                                        as we all know,
                                         
                                        Hitler had a
                                         
                                        misshaping penis.
                                         
                                        A real
                                         
    
                                        awful penis it was.
                                         
                                        Bit like yours,
                                         
                                        Brian.
                                         
                                        What?
                                         
                                        You bloody,
                                         
                                        your dog,
                                         
                                        you're a cheeky bugger.
                                         
                                        It's like
                                         
    
                                        Requiem for a drink.
                                         
                                        you're watching this documentary
                                         
                                        turns into a game show
                                         
                                        all right folks
                                         
                                        let's guess how ugly Brian's
                                         
                                        penis is
                                         
                                        so they go into that
                                         
                                        and then they talk more and more
                                         
    
                                        about how he loved droid and like you know
                                         
                                        you've heard about this
                                         
                                        like he loved all the uppers
                                         
                                        yes he was on like amphetamines and shit
                                         
                                        like yeah yeah that is there are videos
                                         
                                        of him proper geeked out
                                         
                                        like you know and there's a big connection
                                         
                                        between like uppers and like weird
                                         
    
                                        sexual activity.
                                         
                                        Because if you're like on, let's say you're on like
                                         
                                        met and speed and all that,
                                         
                                        holding the girl's hand
                                         
                                        and kissing her doesn't mean
                                         
                                        anything. Sure. Okay, like, again
                                         
                                        like even like having...
                                         
                                        You don't even need the drugs for that.
                                         
    
                                        It's pretty meaningless, isn't it?
                                         
                                        Oh, holding her hand.
                                         
                                        Oh, now she's going to give me shit
                                         
                                        because my hands are sweaty and covered
                                         
                                        fucking feces.
                                         
                                        Because my hands are covered in dog shit.
                                         
                                        I don't have a dog.
                                         
                                        always giving me grief
                                         
    
                                        yeah so that's the last time
                                         
                                        I'll be a good smart
                                         
                                        I'll tell you that
                                         
                                        you know the old ball and shade
                                         
                                        but yeah
                                         
                                        so he's on his
                                         
                                        he had a weird
                                         
                                        sexual dysfunction
                                         
    
                                        so then they linked that to
                                         
                                        you know
                                         
                                        all stories I've heard
                                         
                                        about him like in shit porn
                                         
                                        and like you know
                                         
                                        all the stuff
                                         
                                        by him like you know
                                         
                                        like shitting on women
                                         
    
                                        and getting shit on
                                         
                                        I didn't hear
                                         
                                        I never heard that
                                         
                                        I heard that
                                         
                                        I heard that he was like
                                         
                                        secretly gay
                                         
                                        but then also
                                         
                                        a pedophile
                                         
    
                                        who wanted to bang his knee
                                         
                                        see I've heard
                                         
                                        so many different things that you know what's real and what's just like but again if he was completely
                                         
                                        like whacked out on amphetamines you know kind of sexual dysfunction and perversion so that's why
                                         
                                        you know having secret gay affairs or then molesting your niece or getting shit on yeah that's all
                                         
                                        you know that's probably a ripping good time when you're on the on the wacky pills actually we're
                                         
                                        going to get back to nazis in a minute but i found about something recently have you seen permanent
                                         
                                        midnight yes i have you have you
                                         
    
                                        Ben Stiller plays a heroin addict
                                         
                                        Is it good?
                                         
                                        It's...
                                         
                                        I remember watching it years ago
                                         
                                        out of a kind of general
                                         
                                        curiosity because it's very like...
                                         
                                        It's based on a real story.
                                         
                                        It's based on a real TV writer
                                         
    
                                        who wrote for Alf.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        And was doing drugs.
                                         
                                        So like during the 80s and 90s,
                                         
                                        he sees this like well-paid, you know,
                                         
                                        hot shot writer in Hollywood
                                         
                                        but he's just getting more and more addicted
                                         
                                        to heroin.
                                         
    
                                        So Ben Stiller is playing him
                                         
                                        and it's very dark and grimy.
                                         
                                        There's one really horrible scene
                                         
                                        where he has
                                         
                                        like an infant daughter
                                         
                                        but he like drives to the ghetto
                                         
                                        and buys heroin
                                         
                                        and shoots up in the car
                                         
    
                                        with the baby in the back seat.
                                         
                                        Oh, it's like Zoolander.
                                         
                                        Put the boom boom in the mother.
                                         
                                        The heroin is in the baby?
                                         
                                        Of course.
                                         
                                        It's so simple.
                                         
                                        Relax.
                                         
                                        Don't do it.
                                         
    
                                        Where do you want to go do it?
                                         
                                        what is this
                                         
                                        a drug mule for eggs
                                         
                                        heroin
                                         
                                        the drug mule needs to be
                                         
                                        at least three times
                                         
                                        these eyes
                                         
                                        and so forth
                                         
    
                                        you have a lot of heroin
                                         
                                        so in right now
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        heroin chic
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        derelique
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        you can have a lot of fun
                                         
    
                                        I'd never heard
                                         
                                        a movie before
                                         
                                        and it's like
                                         
                                        how'd you hear about it
                                         
                                        I just heard someone
                                         
                                        mentioned
                                         
                                        you've been talking
                                         
                                        other weirdos
                                         
    
                                        about dumb movies
                                         
                                        about Ben Stiller
                                         
                                        it's just interested that kind of
                                         
                                        like Ben Stiller at that time
                                         
                                        it's 1996 so he's kind of coming off
                                         
                                        like the he's really at a peak
                                         
                                        he's at the Ben Stiller show and cable guy
                                         
                                        like a few kind of weird
                                         
    
                                        you know out there kind of dark comedies or whatever
                                         
                                        but this is like pure drama
                                         
                                        where he plays like a very
                                         
                                        like not a sympathetic character
                                         
                                        at all like he's a piece of shit in it
                                         
                                        so it's a good acting
                                         
                                        and it's an interesting story
                                         
                                        he all still has like Owen Wilson with him
                                         
    
                                        so it's not like if you didn't think I might
                                         
                                        heard that movie you see like it was Ben Siller
                                         
                                        Owen Wilson I presume like oh it's probably a wacky comedy
                                         
                                        about guys who I'd have a bag of diamonds
                                         
                                        and a dog swallows one of the diamonds
                                         
                                        and it's a chase after the dog
                                         
                                        and then Snatch
                                         
                                        then Snatch came out was like oh yes thank you
                                         
    
                                        but yeah I don't know
                                         
                                        I don't know if it's actually a good movie
                                         
                                        but it's so long ago
                                         
                                        since I've seen it but Ben Stiller is
                                         
                                        good at playing a piece of shit
                                         
                                        I would kind of like to see him do that more
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        You know?
                                         
    
                                        I told you four,
                                         
                                        I want to see him play Epstein.
                                         
                                        He would be an amazing Epstein.
                                         
                                        Yes, yes.
                                         
                                        I just want more Epstein in my life.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I might watch that.
                                         
                                        I might watch that.
                                         
    
                                        I've got a plan this weekend.
                                         
                                        I'm going to take mushrooms.
                                         
                                        Okay.
                                         
                                        I'm going to drink a little prune juice.
                                         
                                        I want this to get a big shit on mushrooms
                                         
                                        while watching Ben Stiller do heroin.
                                         
                                        It sounds like a great weekend, Brian.
                                         
                                        And you've got a copy of private eye to bring you down if you trip too much.
                                         
    
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        I'm tripping out.
                                         
                                        I need some British satire
                                         
                                        Bring you down slowly
                                         
                                        That sounds like a fun
                                         
                                        Yeah, best luck with that
                                         
                                        There's other people like Brian, please
                                         
                                        We're worried about you
                                         
    
                                        I'm like shut up
                                         
                                        Oh yeah
                                         
                                        You're getting the old welfare checks
                                         
                                        Don't they really stick in your craw
                                         
                                        It's like hey
                                         
                                        Hey I'm doing just fine
                                         
                                        I don't need this
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
    
                                        Back to Nazis
                                         
                                        Okay yeah
                                         
                                        So one episode is about his drug
                                         
                                        problem. I'm a small penis.
                                         
                                        Sure. Okay.
                                         
                                        And the next episode is about technology.
                                         
                                        Oh.
                                         
                                        And I didn't realize how bad
                                         
    
                                        the Germans were technology.
                                         
                                        What? They actually were, the Nazis.
                                         
                                        Maybe the Germans in general, good with cars
                                         
                                        and stuff like that. Yeah. But the Nazis were
                                         
                                        actually pretty bad at it. And it's all because
                                         
                                        they're ego. So instead of just being
                                         
                                        like, we got a tank here
                                         
                                        that works. Yeah. Let's build
                                         
    
                                        5,000 of these. Yeah.
                                         
                                        That's what all the other guys are doing. I was like, let's build those
                                         
                                        of tanks. They're always like, we need to build a bigger
                                         
                                        tank. And I was bragging like, oh, this tank's
                                         
                                        good. We're going to make even better one.
                                         
                                        So let's say there's like, I'm making
                                         
                                        up examples here. Let's say there's like a tank called
                                         
                                        the V1. Yeah. They make
                                         
    
                                        the V2. But
                                         
                                        almost as soon as they bring out the V1,
                                         
                                        they're like, let's make it bigger. Yeah. And they're always
                                         
                                        talking about like, we're going to make a tank that's like
                                         
                                        the size of four tanks.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah. It's a huge thing. But like... And we'll call it
                                         
                                        the V5. And we
                                         
                                        just skip over three and four.
                                         
    
                                        It becomes V5.
                                         
                                        Yeah, but they make these tanks. They'd be
                                         
                                        one tank that was so big is this impractical it's all about like showing off so yeah maybe one tank
                                         
                                        like like like it would sink yes because it's so heavy yeah yeah straight away they're going
                                         
                                        through like really like harsh terrain and it's all very mucky and if it rains yeah it's stuck in
                                         
                                        the mode it couldn't cross bridges yeah because it was so heavy like even like just collapse even
                                         
                                        like a bridge that could keep like loads of you know a car could drive over no problem and
                                         
                                        record tank this one would like didn't you would drive the big tank over the bridge right
                                         
    
                                        And it would collapse.
                                         
                                        And the soldiers have to, like,
                                         
                                        okay, we have to build a bridge now.
                                         
                                        Oh.
                                         
                                        Yeah, while the fucking, you know,
                                         
                                        while fucking, you know,
                                         
                                        Dunkirk is happening.
                                         
                                        You know, Tom Hardy's driving the plane around to,
                                         
    
                                        like, build the bridge.
                                         
                                        Harry Stiles are swimming around in the paddling pool.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Just trying to clean the jizz out of his asshole.
                                         
                                        And even like...
                                         
                                        Simon Powell had quite a lot of volume.
                                         
                                        Let me tell you.
                                         
                                        Oh, boy.
                                         
    
                                        Even like the tanks, okay, like, let's say the V1,
                                         
                                        the V2, the V3.
                                         
                                        There's all these different.
                                         
                                        variations.
                                         
                                        So they're like, oh, let's make a better version of the V2 or whatever.
                                         
                                        It has a Blu-ray and a DVD player.
                                         
                                        And laser disc.
                                         
                                        Let's go retro, okay?
                                         
    
                                        We have beta max in tanks so guys can watch Caddyshack's.
                                         
                                        It's very funny movie.
                                         
                                        It turns out it's Caddyshack too.
                                         
                                        No!
                                         
                                        But that's hard.
                                         
                                        So let's say a tank breaks.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        For the Allies, it's like, okay, get a new tank part.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        But it's like, okay, we need a tank part, not for the V6, it's for the V7.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        So, and then they have to keep, like, it's just harder.
                                         
                                        So it's just fucking up their means of production and they just have to, yeah, produce more different parts.
                                         
                                        Exactly.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        And there was all this, like, competition where there's guys coming to, like, I assume German businessmen where it was like, oh, I can make a better tank than them.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, I'll make even better one.
                                         
                                        And they're planes as well.
                                         
                                        They kept, like, they kept, like, what they did a lot is like, we're going to build this.
                                         
                                        aren't we great
                                         
                                        and then they're going like
                                         
                                        how the fuck do we build this?
                                         
                                        Oh right.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        So they're like
                                         
                                        we're going to build
                                         
                                        it's going to be like
                                         
                                        a rocket
                                         
                                        that can go to the moon.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        But you can also
                                         
    
                                        drive it underwater.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Oh,
                                         
                                        now we're cooking.
                                         
                                        It can literally go
                                         
                                        into the sun.
                                         
                                        I don't know if we can put
                                         
                                        Jews in the sun.
                                         
    
                                        Hard enough for you.
                                         
                                        But they build
                                         
                                        all this stuff so stupid.
                                         
                                        They build one thing
                                         
                                        alright, it wasn't a plane
                                         
                                        it was just a missile
                                         
                                        with a cockpit
                                         
                                        so you get in the missile
                                         
    
                                        so poor old Fritz has got a hop
                                         
                                        in the missile
                                         
                                        there's no directions
                                         
                                        to get back
                                         
                                        yeah yeah don't worry about that
                                         
                                        there's no wheels
                                         
                                        so they shoot you up okay
                                         
                                        and there's little wings so you glide
                                         
    
                                        but there's no way to land without just
                                         
                                        crashing because it doesn't have any wheels
                                         
                                        yeah yeah so unless you find a
                                         
                                        big field, you can like scrape
                                         
                                        along the ground, yeah, and
                                         
                                        crash to a few cows. Yeah, or maybe
                                         
                                        like crash into a pillow factory
                                         
                                        or, yeah, yeah, a marshmallow field
                                         
    
                                        or something. Yeah,
                                         
                                        it was, actually, that was a very interesting
                                         
                                        episode, just going through all, like, the...
                                         
                                        Now, how accurate is that, though, or is this
                                         
                                        just, like... No, they're showing real footage.
                                         
                                        Okay. This is interesting, they actually have a lot of the
                                         
                                        real... Another fun thing is
                                         
                                        the actual good guys
                                         
    
                                        went off for NASA.
                                         
                                        The guys who were, like, a lot of the guys who were like,
                                         
                                        Warner von Braun.
                                         
                                        Yeah, they're watching this stuff
                                         
                                        being like, oh, that kind of plane.
                                         
                                        Okay, you guys do that.
                                         
                                        Yeah, cool.
                                         
                                        I was like, hello.
                                         
    
                                        It just all goes, tits up.
                                         
                                        I'm over here, guys.
                                         
                                        A lot of the guys, when it was happening,
                                         
                                        were taking, like, I want a little bit
                                         
                                        in liability.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        And they were like, oh, you know what guys?
                                         
                                        You know, for the camps?
                                         
    
                                        Maybe, like, you take all the credit for that.
                                         
                                        You understand in the background, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Because a lot of them saw the writing on the wall.
                                         
                                        the kind of obviously the smarter ones knew
                                         
                                        because that's the thing about the Nuremberg rallies
                                         
                                        a lot of people don't realize
                                         
                                        very few people
                                         
                                        were actually like
                                         
    
                                        there was maybe I think there was like five
                                         
                                        people executed
                                         
                                        like five Nazis
                                         
                                        and then maybe like
                                         
                                        I'm talking like 10 to 15
                                         
                                        incarcerations like literally
                                         
                                        not even triple digits like literally
                                         
                                        it was I think less than 20
                                         
    
                                        actually faced any real repercussions
                                         
                                        a lot of them
                                         
                                        more people got around
                                         
                                        rested for January 6th. Yes, literally. Yeah, yeah. It's
                                         
                                        crazy. Now, I heard that somewhere. I really hope
                                         
                                        that's true and I'm not just spouting off something from
                                         
                                        Stormfront.com. Draintheswap.I.e.
                                         
                                        Yeah, it sounds good, doesn't it? It's something I'm going to start saying
                                         
    
                                        a house parties. Yeah, when I want to meet the chicks in the
                                         
                                        clothes, yeah, the Nuremberg rallies are not very many. Don't
                                         
                                        turn away from me. You big.
                                         
                                        You know, like, you're in the club, okay, and the music's too loud.
                                         
                                        It's like, excuse me, DJ, just turn it down for a minute.
                                         
                                        I got a fun fact.
                                         
                                        I'm going to take the mic for a minute.
                                         
                                        It's a fun fact.
                                         
    
                                        Why don't you go have a spliff break?
                                         
                                        You're probably, you're drugs because you're mustard gas.
                                         
                                        You've probably got a weird cock.
                                         
                                        So you're a junkie who DJs for freak shows in a nightclub in Athlone.
                                         
                                        but yeah i don't know if that thing is true it's something i heard but literally
                                         
                                        the point is a lot of of the more clever ones saw the writing on the wall
                                         
                                        and they made their exit strategies well before the war came to a conclusion yeah so then
                                         
                                        operation paperclip obviously warner von brougham is the most famous example because then he
                                         
    
                                        went on to like start nassau basically but like there are a lot of them that came over
                                         
                                        really high-profile dudes.
                                         
                                        And again, place into that thing
                                         
                                        I talked about earlier, but, like,
                                         
                                        um,
                                         
                                        the lot of Germany's migrating
                                         
                                        into America and, like,
                                         
                                        the CIA just being like a,
                                         
    
                                        the new version of the SS,
                                         
                                        you know,
                                         
                                        a lot of that.
                                         
                                        And then obviously, like,
                                         
                                        South America,
                                         
                                        Argentina,
                                         
                                        like a lot of them went there.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        And then you get into the Hitler's not dead
                                         
                                        and he lived in Argentina.
                                         
                                        And that's true, Ryan.
                                         
                                        That's 100% true.
                                         
                                        Well, they do cover something
                                         
                                        in this documentary as well.
                                         
                                        They show at one stage,
                                         
                                        and I will say,
                                         
    
                                        don't explain this to all,
                                         
                                        they show footage of dead Hitler.
                                         
                                        Yeah?
                                         
                                        And I was like, I'm pretty sure
                                         
                                        there is a...
                                         
                                        They never found the body.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I was like, I'm pretty sure, isn't that whole thing?
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        And I was looking this up, and I might double check this for the next episode, but
                                         
                                        from my Wikipedia, by the way, this is what, after I drank a full bottle of whiskey,
                                         
                                        but from...
                                         
                                        Honeycomb whiskey.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Which I'm pretty sure Nome Chomsky's not like this.
                                         
                                        Nome Chomsky's not like, yo, yeah, I'm pretty sure...
                                         
                                        Well, I don't know now for sure.
                                         
    
                                        I'm pretty fucked up, I was off my teeth.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I'm pretty sure the Iraq War was bad.
                                         
                                        but I don't know yet.
                                         
                                        Don't quote me, dude.
                                         
                                        But there was something about like
                                         
                                        these Russian guys
                                         
                                        fake the video
                                         
    
                                        of Hitler being dead
                                         
                                        for Russians.
                                         
                                        Really?
                                         
                                        It's like a propaganda thing.
                                         
                                        It's got like a guy to lie down
                                         
                                        with a mustache, be like,
                                         
                                        I'm so dead.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                        Wink, wink.
                                         
                                        And they have a footage of him.
                                         
                                        It's like handheld
                                         
                                        like the Blair Witch Project.
                                         
                                        Then big foot pops up, you know?
                                         
                                        Smoked a cigarette
                                         
                                        and Kubrick's filming the whole thing
                                         
                                        Yeah, I mean that's something I've always heard
                                         
    
                                        That they never actually found the body
                                         
                                        Yeah, I think Russians took it
                                         
                                        And I don't know what they did with it
                                         
                                        I'd be mad if like just found his corpse
                                         
                                        Just knocking around
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah
                                         
                                        Just like it's for sale like Bezos buys it
                                         
                                        Well they find so
                                         
    
                                        Kind of like Hitler's corpse
                                         
                                        For years I heard about a Sopranos video
                                         
                                        And it's weird when you can't find stuff
                                         
                                        on the internet this stage.
                                         
                                        You expect to find everything.
                                         
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        But I'm not joking.
                                         
                                        For years I heard about this thing where when LeBron James left the Miami Heat.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        No, sorry, sorry.
                                         
                                        The Lakers.
                                         
                                        No, no, no, no.
                                         
                                        No.
                                         
                                        He was with the Cleveland Cavaliers.
                                         
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        And he wanted to move teams.
                                         
    
                                        To go to the Lakers?
                                         
                                        No, go to Miami.
                                         
                                        Oh, sorry.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, well, he goes to Lakers, Venschey.
                                         
                                        Oh, okay.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        But he was kind of.
                                         
    
                                        court in teams, like, oh, I wonder which
                                         
                                        team should I go to? Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Oh, who's going to give me the most
                                         
                                        money? Exactly, right, right, right.
                                         
                                        And everyone was trying their stuff.
                                         
                                        Because he's a hot commodity. Yeah, he was
                                         
                                        the biggest star. He's still
                                         
                                        basically is the biggest star in basketball.
                                         
    
                                        The New Jordan, basically.
                                         
                                        Yeah, basically, yeah. So everyone tried their best.
                                         
                                        Every team tried their best.
                                         
                                        And the New York Knicks,
                                         
                                        we're like, what do we have? How can
                                         
                                        we convince LeBron to come
                                         
                                        to our place? Yeah.
                                         
                                        LeBron like Sopranos, let's get the Sopranos.
                                         
    
                                        Right.
                                         
                                        Let's get James Gandalfini.
                                         
                                        And Edie Falco.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        And have them film a little sketch.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And describe the sketch, James.
                                         
                                        But my point is, sorry, and point is, for years I heard about the sketch they filmed.
                                         
    
                                        Yes.
                                         
                                        I've listened to, I listened to a podcast about the Knicks during COVID.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        And they actually have a guy who's like, we can't find a video.
                                         
                                        But I found a transcript.
                                         
                                        I'm going to reinstate.
                                         
                                        knack the transcript for you. Oh, my God.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah. I bet you were jizzing,
                                         
    
                                        weren't you? Oh, I was like, oh my God. It's like seeing a new angle
                                         
                                        of JFK his assassination.
                                         
                                        You're like, oh my God. But describe,
                                         
                                        so my point is eventually discovered
                                         
                                        a video. Yes. Describe the new
                                         
                                        Sopranos video.
                                         
                                        My first takeaway, very
                                         
                                        cheap looking, very
                                         
    
                                        poorly shot. It looks like
                                         
                                        it was, I mean, it's just
                                         
                                        like, it's very poorly lit.
                                         
                                        The composition's awful. It looks
                                         
                                        like dog shit. Very student film,
                                         
                                        vibes. But what's happening
                                         
                                        is in the narrative of
                                         
                                        this,
                                         
    
                                        so Tony and Carmela
                                         
                                        Soprano are just in their kitchen. Tony's
                                         
                                        sitting down reading the paper.
                                         
                                        Carmella's over there and she's like
                                         
                                        oh, Tony looks like your friend
                                         
                                        LeBron wants to move to
                                         
                                        New York. It feels like an S&L sketch
                                         
                                        doesn't it? But like not even, like
                                         
    
                                        you know, bad, mad TV.
                                         
                                        Yeah, the right, yeah, Mad TV more.
                                         
                                        Such low production value and
                                         
                                        like I can't imagine the
                                         
                                        more than one take
                                         
                                        it was a one and done
                                         
                                        Gandalfini does not want to be there
                                         
                                        I don't think he refused to shave
                                         
    
                                        for it yes he was like I'm not going to shave for this
                                         
                                        yeah which you know if he's
                                         
                                        in witness protection that would be a good move
                                         
                                        oh yeah I think the point is there in witness protection
                                         
                                        yeah yeah yeah but again so
                                         
                                        yeah Gandalfin Tony's like
                                         
                                        yeah LeBron he's a good guy
                                         
                                        he's uh you know he's a classy guy
                                         
    
                                        he's modern but he respects
                                         
                                        uh tradition
                                         
                                        And it's just like, oh, well, maybe he'll come to the...
                                         
                                        I don't even remember how it ended.
                                         
                                        Maybe he'll come to New York.
                                         
                                        He's like, well, he needs somewhere big to be...
                                         
                                        No, he needs somewhere big and the show like the...
                                         
                                        Madison Square Rock.
                                         
    
                                        Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                        He's like, hey, that might be a good place for LeBron to live.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Really?
                                         
                                        It was incredibly depressing to watch Brian.
                                         
                                        That was, that's, oh, not only did it.
                                         
                                        You're your favorite thing.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
    
                                        But the only thing I've ever expressed,
                                         
                                        true love for you just
                                         
                                        ruined in one fail
                                         
                                        swoop so thank you
                                         
                                        for that
                                         
                                        but this is the New York Knicks
                                         
                                        are a fairly big team
                                         
                                        like this is like
                                         
    
                                        they have connections to people with
                                         
                                        cameras and you know
                                         
                                        yeah people with lighting equipment
                                         
                                        like you think they put more of an effort in
                                         
                                        yes to get their big star in
                                         
                                        other places
                                         
                                        it looked awful
                                         
                                        other places produced whole cartoons
                                         
    
                                        yeah for LeBron
                                         
                                        and they had like a big presentation
                                         
                                        that all the stars like California
                                         
                                        like L.A. did the whole thing
                                         
                                        I forget who but that's like the biggest names of time
                                         
                                        you know like I don't know like
                                         
                                        Larry David or not Larry
                                         
                                        like yeah like you know all these big guys
                                         
    
                                        like hey it's me Ted Danson
                                         
                                        come to L.A. All the huge
                                         
                                        stars
                                         
                                        Yo was that Ted dancing
                                         
                                        oh shit I got to go to
                                         
                                        LA. It was Ted dancing but from the
                                         
                                        Whoopi Goldberg roast
                                         
                                        and then in comes
                                         
    
                                        Howard Stern
                                         
                                        Whoopi you want
                                         
                                        big smelly boop.
                                         
                                        Oh, okay, well,
                                         
                                        I guess you're paying goods
                                         
                                        what's to come, but I didn't like the video.
                                         
                                        I'll be honest. I didn't like that shit.
                                         
                                        I was like, the story I heard is
                                         
    
                                        for Miami.
                                         
                                        Didn't do any of that shit.
                                         
                                        Just underage prostitutes
                                         
                                        saying, I'm sold.
                                         
                                        No, it was
                                         
                                        I can't remember, it is late. But anyway, the guy
                                         
                                        who was running Miami
                                         
                                        time, he's one of the, he's one of the bases
                                         
    
                                        is for Gordon Gecko, I think.
                                         
                                        Okay, right. But he walked in and just dropped,
                                         
                                        because he won a lot of rings before.
                                         
                                        Right, okay. He just dropped his rings on the table.
                                         
                                        Like, do you want these?
                                         
                                        Ah. And for some reason,
                                         
                                        that... That's pretty good.
                                         
                                        That convinced the bra and more than Tony's the Prano.
                                         
    
                                        But that's thinking,
                                         
                                        Gandalfini looks so depressed.
                                         
                                        And the thing is, the paycheck that he got from that video,
                                         
                                        he used to buy the cocaine and martinis
                                         
                                        and steak dinners
                                         
                                        that led to him being faithful.
                                         
                                        down dead on the floor
                                         
                                        in some hotel in Rome
                                         
    
                                        so thank you LeBron
                                         
                                        James for killing
                                         
                                        Dandelfini
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        But anyway
                                         
                                        Hope you're proud yourself
                                         
                                        Enjoy your drinks tokens
                                         
                                        You have pieces of silver
                                         
    
                                        But yeah I could see that one
                                         
                                        With the rings
                                         
                                        That's like you know it's it's understated
                                         
                                        Riley
                                         
                                        There's a sophistication to it
                                         
                                        It's also like, hey, you want to be the best.
                                         
                                        You've got to beat me.
                                         
                                        And that's going to, look,
                                         
    
                                        LeBron is much like me.
                                         
                                        We're winners.
                                         
                                        We've got a winners mentality.
                                         
                                        We need it all.
                                         
                                        We will not stop.
                                         
                                        He wants to get all the rings.
                                         
                                        I want to get all the biscuits.
                                         
                                        I walk in, drop all the biscuits on the floor.
                                         
    
                                        I like, do you want those?
                                         
                                        I just eat jabby Dodgers off the
                                         
                                        carpet, even after you've smushed them in with your foot.
                                         
                                        Yes, more, please.
                                         
                                        Oh, my goodness.
                                         
                                        What can we talk about next?
                                         
                                        We talked about Tarantino on the free one we talk,
                                         
                                        on the Patreon we talk about Tarantino.
                                         
    
                                        Listen to the Patreon, guys.
                                         
                                        Can I say that?
                                         
                                        This is the Patreon, folks.
                                         
                                        Yeah, it was good.
                                         
                                        We got a new girl subscribe to the Patreon.
                                         
                                        A new girl?
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        What's her name?
                                         
    
                                        I'm not going to...
                                         
                                        It's weird.
                                         
                                        I got a random message from a woman there.
                                         
                                        said, I saw you do comedy.
                                         
                                        I just wanted to say
                                         
                                        you're disgusting and funny.
                                         
                                        Oh, right, okay. I was expecting the last part.
                                         
                                        Yeah, well, that was the big show.
                                         
    
                                        I think she made it as like a compliment,
                                         
                                        but you know, it's kind of weird.
                                         
                                        It's funny, because I got that message
                                         
                                        while I was watching Baby Rain Deer,
                                         
                                        which is a show about a sad comedian
                                         
                                        to get stalked by a mentally ill woman.
                                         
                                        Oh, and I had a prophetic dream as well.
                                         
                                        Oh, you want to talk about that?
                                         
    
                                        Nah.
                                         
                                        You're teasing the audience.
                                         
                                        Well, I just had, it was weird.
                                         
                                        I had a dream where I was driving and I crashed my car.
                                         
                                        But a very notable detail from the dream was that both the wheels on the driver's side,
                                         
                                        so the front of back wheel on the driver's side were both damaged and punctured deflated.
                                         
                                        Then the very next day, on the anniversary mass of my father's death, by the way.
                                         
                                        Really?
                                         
    
                                        Yes, yes, yes.
                                         
                                        That's why I was in Monaghan.
                                         
                                        Wait, when was that?
                                         
                                        On Monday.
                                         
                                        Oh, that's interesting.
                                         
                                        Yeah, I was back in Monon for that on Monday.
                                         
                                        I was watching Ghostbusters that day.
                                         
                                        Yeah, do you see my dad?
                                         
    
                                        Who are you going to call?
                                         
                                        Daddy, please.
                                         
                                        Slimer?
                                         
                                        Yes, my dead dad is Rick Moranis.
                                         
                                        Anyway, so yeah.
                                         
                                        But then the very next day my brother crashed his car
                                         
                                        and both wheels on the driver's side were damaged inflated.
                                         
                                        But the other two wheels were fine.
                                         
    
                                        and it's just a very interesting
                                         
                                        that would have that dream
                                         
                                        with that specific detail
                                         
                                        and the same thing would happen
                                         
                                        I'm not going all
                                         
                                        retarded fucking you know
                                         
                                        astrology
                                         
                                        I bet it's a decided from the universe
                                         
    
                                        Have you ever had these
                                         
                                        premonition
                                         
                                        This is basically
                                         
                                        That's so Raven
                                         
                                        This that's so can
                                         
                                        Hell you
                                         
                                        That's so can
                                         
                                        Oh my lord
                                         
    
                                        My brother don't crash his car
                                         
                                        I'm C
                                         
                                        And I'm Corey in the house
                                         
                                        But yeah
                                         
                                        it's just interesting
                                         
                                        It's an interesting little
                                         
                                        I don't think I've ever had
                                         
                                        any prophetic dreams
                                         
    
                                        No, this is my first
                                         
                                        It's gonna be a start of it
                                         
                                        Maybe
                                         
                                        In that's so Raven it
                                         
                                        It would happen every episode
                                         
                                        Then she'd have to dress up
                                         
                                        In a funny costume
                                         
                                        Oh, hello
                                         
    
                                        We saw me
                                         
                                        She probably did
                                         
                                        She probably had to do that at some stage
                                         
                                        Had to, it was in her contract
                                         
                                        We watched a little bit
                                         
                                        Actually a while ago
                                         
                                        Raven's house
                                         
                                        The spin-off
                                         
    
                                        I didn't know
                                         
                                        What?
                                         
                                        Raven, not us
                                         
                                        I mean like my buddies
                                         
                                        Oh
                                         
                                        We all watched
                                         
                                        You're drinking buddy
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah, turn the match off, would you?
                                         
    
                                        Hey, fellas, come see how fat she got.
                                         
                                        Isn't she married to a woman now?
                                         
                                        I think she's lesbian, yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        But it's weird, because we were watching
                                         
                                        the first, the pilot episodes of Ravens House.
                                         
                                        That's so gavin.
                                         
                                        Talked me a little bit longer than it should have, but...
                                         
                                        You've had a long day, man, you're going, yeah.
                                         
    
                                        It's like the end of a game, you know, you're going at,
                                         
                                        and near the end, you're going to like, oh, you're sweating, you know.
                                         
                                        I'm telling you that Patreon was fire.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        And you didn't even like, you shouldn't have been
                                         
                                        during Gatorade after that. You were going hard.
                                         
                                        That was one of my better performances.
                                         
                                        I'll tell you what, I haven't been too bad on this one either.
                                         
    
                                        You have not, no. And you've been good too.
                                         
                                        But only because I tell you what, I'm not very good
                                         
                                        to create any energy.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I suck the energy, all right?
                                         
                                        Yeah. You do something like, yes.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        That's how improv works.
                                         
    
                                        And then when you, we turn it off, you tell me all the things I did wrong.
                                         
                                        I have a list.
                                         
                                        Where do you get time?
                                         
                                        I saw your hands
                                         
                                        You've got like just some frumpy middle age
                                         
                                        Gaunt on the corner
                                         
                                        Just like doing those like
                                         
                                        Courtroom typists
                                         
    
                                        What do they call those fuckers?
                                         
                                        Stenegrof
                                         
                                        Stenegrof
                                         
                                        Steneg what
                                         
                                        Oh no
                                         
                                        And that's why LeBron
                                         
                                        Didn't appreciate the Law and Order
                                         
                                        Sketch they did
                                         
    
                                        Hey, what's the LeBron
                                         
                                        I'm the stenographer
                                         
                                        And take down all the words
                                         
                                        for your eyes.
                                         
                                        We don't have all the letters.
                                         
                                        I just push the buttons with the pictures
                                         
                                        and the words come out. It's cool.
                                         
                                        I have to say that Patreon
                                         
    
                                        was very good now. Not to toot your horn
                                         
                                        too much now. But I think
                                         
                                        it is funny. You'll be doing something like, okay, yeah.
                                         
                                        Anyway, I also saw this.
                                         
                                        I also saw this.
                                         
                                        Yeah, so I like to read private eye
                                         
                                        and here's... Yeah.
                                         
                                        I just read through it
                                         
    
                                        suddenly.
                                         
                                        well don't sell yourself short
                                         
                                        on the theatre
                                         
                                        the Patreon one you're reading
                                         
                                        a playbill
                                         
                                        program from upcoming theatre
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        so that was pretty good
                                         
    
                                        I was saying there on the Patreon as well like
                                         
                                        so I'm going to see more plays
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit
                                         
                                        and for a long time I would like watch a few bad movies
                                         
                                        and be like oh I talk with this on the
                                         
                                        on the show yeah
                                         
                                        but I really just don't have the energy
                                         
    
                                        I watch bad movies now like I watched a thing a while ago
                                         
                                        It was called Class of 1999.
                                         
                                        It's like a kind of,
                                         
                                        I think it's the area 2000's kind of like
                                         
                                        schlocky kind of horror movie about where like
                                         
                                        there's schools where the kids are really rough
                                         
                                        to send robots in to teach the kids.
                                         
                                        Oh.
                                         
    
                                        I was like, oh, this would be funny.
                                         
                                        I watch it, it's like, well, is this shit.
                                         
                                        Like, no, people making it know what's shit.
                                         
                                        So like, what's the point?
                                         
                                        I'm like, oh, James, it's so crazy.
                                         
                                        Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        I was like, and it was annoying.
                                         
                                        So it's called Class 99.
                                         
    
                                        It turns out it's a secret.
                                         
                                        to a movie. And one of the fun
                                         
                                        facts I saw was like, the sequel
                                         
                                        contains no nudity, but the
                                         
                                        previous one contained loads of nudity. I was like,
                                         
                                        oh, great.
                                         
                                        No, new...
                                         
                                        The robots don't get naked.
                                         
    
                                        It's like when I invests in Bitcoin. I was
                                         
                                        like, oh. The robots
                                         
                                        come in and teach them about consent.
                                         
                                        I could have watched
                                         
                                        porkies with robots, but instead of
                                         
                                        watching fucking...
                                         
                                        It was in Malcolm McDowell. It's funny,
                                         
                                        Malcolm McDowell was in the sequel to the
                                         
    
                                        movie. Really? Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                        Malcolm MacDell's career is so funny. Look at all
                                         
                                        the movies he's being in. Yeah, man.
                                         
                                        You work with Kubrick, man. He's like, yes, and now
                                         
                                        I mean, class of
                                         
                                        99. I mean, he's had like
                                         
                                        two, oh no, I suppose gangster number
                                         
                                        one was kind of well received, wasn't it? I never heard of
                                         
    
                                        that. It's like him and Paul
                                         
                                        Kay.
                                         
                                        Oh, I don't know, it's kind of like a weird, like British
                                         
                                        gangster film, but it's quite artsy. I remember
                                         
                                        thinking it was pretty cool. I didn't even heard of that,
                                         
                                        yeah. Gangster number one. He was in Caligula.
                                         
                                        Of course.
                                         
                                        Yes,
                                         
    
                                        which I've also
                                         
                                        never seen,
                                         
                                        but heard was pretty
                                         
                                        cool.
                                         
                                        I've heard they're doing
                                         
                                        a restoration of it
                                         
                                        and people,
                                         
                                        it's getting a critical
                                         
    
                                        re-evaluation.
                                         
                                        Wasn't it all like
                                         
                                        unsimulated orgies?
                                         
                                        So I think they...
                                         
                                        They're all fucking.
                                         
                                        It went through a lot
                                         
                                        of different phases.
                                         
                                        I think originally they wanted to do
                                         
    
                                        like a very classy film
                                         
                                        but with sex scenes in it.
                                         
                                        But then like,
                                         
                                        I think they lost funding
                                         
                                        and then some guy was like,
                                         
                                        I'll fund it for you.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        They gotta be fucking for real.
                                         
    
                                        Oh, you gotta put the...
                                         
                                        Take that car
                                         
                                        and show it.
                                         
                                        up her eyes.
                                         
                                        Showing up, MacDowell's ass.
                                         
                                        He's like, oh, I say,
                                         
                                        Choubrick never did this.
                                         
                                        He took a lot of takes, I suppose.
                                         
    
                                        A bit of the old, in-out, in-out.
                                         
                                        Video, madrugie-wo.
                                         
                                        Oh, stop talking like a fucking queer
                                         
                                        and fuck her in a twine.
                                         
                                        Oh, dear heavens.
                                         
                                        Who's the director of Caligulae?
                                         
                                        It's some guy who got shot
                                         
                                        pretty soon afterwards. Let me look up. I'm not even
                                         
    
                                        joking. Oh, that's a harsh review.
                                         
                                        I tell you, back then, Roger Ebert wasn't fucking around, was he?
                                         
                                        You got to make a name for yourself something.
                                         
                                        The jaunist assassin.
                                         
                                        Yeah, it's directed by, oh, give me a second here, guys, sorry.
                                         
                                        Sorry.
                                         
                                        Oh, Tito Brace?
                                         
                                        Who's this?
                                         
    
                                        I have no idea.
                                         
                                        Never mind.
                                         
                                        Tito.
                                         
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        I'm just saw a picture of Tito with a very young woman who's his wife.
                                         
                                        Awesome.
                                         
                                        This Tito, by the way, he looks about 89, and she looks about nine.
                                         
                                        Yes, he was shot dead by her first husband
                                         
    
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        Anyway
                                         
                                        I don't know
                                         
                                        I don't know
                                         
                                        I'm looked up Tito now
                                         
                                        Alright that's not
                                         
                                        We're at the
                                         
                                        Let's just wrap it up here
                                         
    
                                        We're at the hour
                                         
                                        I might watch
                                         
                                        Caligula
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        It's pretty interesting
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        Screenplay by Gore Vidal
                                         
                                        Whoa
                                         
    
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        What the hell
                                         
                                        They want to be like a classy
                                         
                                        Oscar
                                         
                                        Kind of like we're gonna push
                                         
                                        I think they want to make
                                         
                                        It's going to be sexual
                                         
                                        But it's gonna be real good
                                         
    
                                        It's like
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        Yeah
                                         
                                        And interesting
                                         
                                        Again, like, kind of around the, what was it, like 60s, 70s?
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah, so it is, sorry, 79, rock drama, and they lost funding, so then along came Bob Giusecchio, founder of Penthouse.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, he's like, I know how to make you picture work.
                                         
    
                                        Nice.
                                         
                                        Wait, is that, no, sorry, that's hustler.
                                         
                                        Larry Flint was hustler.
                                         
                                        Don't get your pornographers mixed up, James.
                                         
                                        Sorry, I'm an idiot.
                                         
                                        You were going so well.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                        Yeah, man, like, there's a lot of those, like, 70s movies
                                         
    
                                        that are just, like, full-blown, just sexploitation,
                                         
                                        just like, yeah, they were all real nine-year-olds,
                                         
                                        and they're all really crying, and, yeah, every inch I gave them.
                                         
                                        It's all tour theory, yeah, yeah, man.
                                         
                                        Like El Toppo, what was that con called, Jordowowski?
                                         
                                        Yeah, Jodowowski, yeah.
                                         
                                        Just a pedo who raped the woman on camera,
                                         
                                        and the Beatles loved it.
                                         
    
                                        That's proper cinema is that.
                                         
                                        I thought you lads were all puffs, but that were great.
                                         
                                        When you smacked her in the gob and shoved you knob, I'm up her own.
                                         
                                        Oh, I loved it.
                                         
                                        Fun little fact where we go.
                                         
                                        Caligula was, for some reason, it was broadcast on French TV with full unsimulated sex scenes.
                                         
                                        It was the first unsimulated sex scene on French television.
                                         
                                        Wow.
                                         
    
                                        And it was so popular that a star tradition where every month they show a full-on pornographic film at midnight.
                                         
                                        Oh.
                                         
                                        It's like, you know, remember the bit of it.
                                         
                                        big, big movie in Ortees.
                                         
                                        I'll be back.
                                         
                                        Don't eat my pizza.
                                         
                                        Yeah. I'll be back. Don't eat my pussy.
                                         
                                        Oh!
                                         
    
                                        Yeah.
                                         
                                        Oh, yeah. We're over there. Yeah.
                                         
                                        Good stuff. Good stuff.
                                         
                                        Hey.
                                         
                                        Brooklyn, great. I'm not until 12 tomorrow,
                                         
                                        but I've got to do some refunds.
                                         
                                        Oh, yes. Yeah.
                                         
                                        Won't talk about that. A show didn't go well.
                                         
    
                                        Which one?
                                         
                                        I got to do refunds.
                                         
                                        I got to just double check to see who's on
                                         
                                        the show Sunday.
                                         
                                        Yeah. Confirm with some people and all that.
                                         
                                        Cancel some others.
                                         
                                        Unless they can convince
                                         
                                        me otherwise.
                                         
    
                                        Use your powers of persuasion,
                                         
                                        Gary.
                                         
                                        You want to stay on the show?
                                         
                                        You got to make Mr.
                                         
                                        Caton happy.
                                         
                                        It's showbidge, baby.
                                         
                                        Baby reindeer.
                                         
                                        That's where I go.
                                         
    
                                        something Gary has a show on Netflix.
                                         
                                        His
                                         
                                        Edinburgh show. That first time
                                         
                                        he did the racist voice, I laughed
                                         
                                        but only from peer pressure.
                                         
                                        I knew in that moment of
                                         
                                        weakness I was giving into colonialism
                                         
                                        and fear.
                                         
    
                                        And yet, I laughed
                                         
                                        as the drunken
                                         
                                        slobber dribbled down his fat
                                         
                                        cheeks and the sweat
                                         
                                        beamed from his beetroot face.
                                         
                                        And he did,
                                         
                                        be such a ching-chong-tiderman oh
                                         
                                        I laughed
                                         
    
                                        and a nation weeped
                                         
                                        epilogue
                                         
                                        I'm going to end there I'm going to go down and watch some more fallout
                                         
                                        all right
                                         
                                        I'm going to get the laptop out
                                         
                                        and do like boring work
                                         
                                        while watching the nuclear apocalypse show
                                         
                                        Fallout seems pretty good so far
                                         
    
                                        It looks pretty good
                                         
                                        yeah yeah so I watch that
                                         
                                        we'll have fun
                                         
                                        yeah
                                         
                                        I think you're going to do
                                         
                                        next anything fun coming up
                                         
                                        uh no i'm gonna start uh i need to start getting a plan in action i would love to see you uh get uh like a like a tour guide job
                                         
                                        yeah you want me to be another tour tits and teeth poor guide like you i'm like you gonna oh yeah if you want to go
                                         
    
                                        dressed like that you can yeah come on show a bit of skin you know got to make a customer
                                         
                                        appy you make me do the whole thing on roller skates oh well the first
                                         
                                        famine was a very difficult time
                                         
                                        in our country
                                         
                                        I'm wearing like a sparkly
                                         
                                        onesie I'm on roller skates
                                         
                                        in a big like 70s
                                         
                                        Afro wig and like giant
                                         
    
                                        colored glasses
                                         
                                        do the hustle
                                         
                                        do do do it do it did it
                                         
                                        da da da da da da da da da
                                         
                                        let's end it there guys
                                         
                                        all right well back next week
                                         
                                        guys all right good luck
                                         
                                        goodbye
                                         
