Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 222 : Honey Trapped
Episode Date: April 20, 2024WW2 history and Lebron. A great night for Brian....
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We are back guys
And we're back in my room
I had Cadden downstairs for a bit
And it was too much for him
I was downstairs in the penthouse suite
That's how it works right
We're down in the lovely luxurious sitting room
And now we're up back up
In the little squalid hole
You call your boudoir
It's a nice hole
That's all right
I look after it
I've seen better holes
I've got my copies of private eye here
Yeah
Look I've got my new copies
So I have my old
I've got the Phoenix here
Yes
we'll look at that later on
but this is
the new private eye
and it's all about
the honey trops
I can't talk
the I'm not a very good journalist
the honey trap
scandals
I'm here to expose
the gate water
what is it
so honey trap
I wouldn't be a very good
news man
I was like
the Boston Wommings
I mean the
I forget it
no one cares
but I just give up
during this broadcast
I'm like
no one cares
about the news
fuck it
no
have you heard
about like
the honey
traps
in the UK
at the moment
no
so multiple
politicians
have been
honey trapped
so basically
what happens
is commenting
you get a text
from a girl
being like
hi
remember me
it's Janet
okay
and most lads
are like
yeah
Janet
yes Janet
of course
I
I spaffed on
your bosoms
as I'd call
and I wasn't
even deterred
by the fact that you were 19,
which is rather old for me, you know,
but,
uh-huh,
yes.
But the thing is, like,
normally you'd have to do a bit of like,
remember we met at the party,
you're so handsome,
oh, I'm going running,
here's a,
here's a picture of me.
Like,
kind of like,
back and forth,
you know,
like, oh, I'm in the shower now,
but you won't see that,
he-he,
and then, like,
oh, send the picture.
Like, maybe you send that picture.
It's like,
oh, I'll send you a picture of my,
my chest.
It's like,
well, maybe put the camera down a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of these guys is like, hi, I'm Janet.
It's like, do you want to see my cock?
Do you want like, my cock and the
the diagram for Trident?
The nuclear codes.
You want to see me sticking my
cock on the Margaret Thatcher
Memorial bench? Here it is.
Look at that while the pigeons and the plebs
look on.
I gasped by my knob.
so that's one thing
okay
and obviously
like I think
this day and age
like I think
back in the day
if you got caught
in like any kind of
like
internet sex thing
it was like
oh it's e
cyber scandal
erotic
e pictures
yeah yeah
and it was
WWW
dot
and the W
stands for
wanking
online
the worldwide
wanking web
not the best headline
but I'm sorry
I wasn't privately educated
like these honey trap perverts
but so I think
at this day and age
like so a few of them being caught
and people are like
I actually feel
sad
I feel his embarrassment
I think we should
as a society
we should be kinder
to do politicians
that take pictures of her cocks
yes
you know
and they're kind of like
you know
who are
I'm Spartacus
I'm Spartacus
you know
I'm Spartac
cock. Yeah, it's a very common thing
now, like everyone's sending
you know, sexy pictures
online. Yeah, I think, you know, like
this is what do you want? This is what the
Zionists want by and they want to corrupt us as a
society. They're trying to take us further away
from God. That's why they're having
children spreading their butt holes
on Pornhub and you pay
$12.99 a month for it.
You'll see that in Pornhub. Believe me, you do,
mate. Now, they've been done many times
for showing underage.
apparently.
Okay.
But anyway,
in regards.
They banned it in Texas.
You can't get
Pornhub in Texas
anymore.
Can you know?
No,
you have to,
well,
you have to like
show a picture
of your ID
to like love.
To who?
The postman.
No,
the web camera,
Brian,
you fool.
Oh,
I don't you have to
go to like
government building
and be like,
hello.
With your cock
just like a box
of tissues,
your pants
around your ankle.
I really want to come.
Where's Governor Abbott?
I'm ready.
I'm ready for my
Close up, Mr. DeMille.
This goes to John Fetterman.
But, yeah, apparently you have to show a picture of your driver's license or a government
ID to be able to...
To the webcam.
Yeah, to access.
This is like, isn't like so many privacy concerns.
Listen, Matt, but Texas passed the law, but it's just for pornhub specifically.
Isn't Joe Rogan in Texas?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
Like Shane Gillis was talking about it on the last episode.
It's like, can't get porn hub here anymore.
Have to go to like X videos.
and whack tube and jizzyspunk.com, you know?
I like jizzyspunk.
Oh, it's good.
They do good work.
They do good work.
That's where I learned about the Zionists,
the comment sections on the videos of jizzyspunk.org.
You guys like, yeah, I don't read the, I don't own a TV.
I'm not, uh, they want you to be fat and ignorant, you far, you swine.
The opium of the masses.
The common section of porn is always very funny.
I don't look at the comments too much now.
When I do, you're right, it is pretty funny.
Sometimes I was just like, I will save you.
It's like, oh, dad, it's all sadness.
What a sweet angel.
Or like when they die, when a porn star dies, it all.
Like, you're in the heavens now.
God is jizzing on your tits.
You're getting Bukakkied by the 12 disciples
While Judas asphy wanks from hell
You're getting black clock in the clouds
Black rock in the clouds
Black raw by the Muslim Brotherhood
Yeah
No, it's very funny now
When women die I get a chuckle
also male porn stars
you know
that's such a tragedy
hey you know
it's okay to not be okay
there's a mental health crisis among the bros
you see you think guys like me
with big dicks
think it's all you know
sunshine lollipops
but now we struggle too
because all that blood
that flows to our big cocks
there's not enough going up to me nogging
so I get sadness in my brain.
There's like a World War II
like Captain Tom veteran in a wheelchair
and you just push past him
and you go up to like someone like called Bend Over
and I thank you very much for your service.
Please.
You help people in so many ways.
You've been awarded with the Purple Head Award
for bravery.
You were the first one to bang a 17 year old on camera.
You helped this country
through our time of crisis.
the Purple Head Award
Does that work?
I think that plays
They don't get it
wouldn't they?
Is that track?
Does that hit all the quadrants?
But,
okay,
so hit me,
what's this?
My point is,
no,
so my point is,
normally that happens
at this stage,
it's like,
look,
we've all sent dick pics.
It could have been,
hey,
that could happen to me,
you know?
Yes.
Like,
these scams are pretty intelligent.
Like,
Dill,
look,
so you could have a,
it's not just always like,
hey,
I'm,
sexy milf 420
yeah it's not always that
I'm jiggly tits
027
4 slash D
there's a pleasure
to me to imagine my
a rose by any name
was Cimel just as sweet
jiggly tits like we went to school together
I'm like oh yes
I remember you well
yes from the comprehensive
very good
but sometimes they've got technology now
where it was replicate like you know
because you know what's
WhatsApp stuff like that
you only see a picture
is James Cadden
Yes
So someone will text you
with your profile picture
with like
J-A-M-M-E-S maybe Cadden
or someone's just like
pure just James Cadden
Yes
And you're not going to be like
Check to make sure
Is this really James Cadden
You're not like checking the number
You're just like you don't pay attention
Like to prove it
Tell me the top five
Most Hated races
By people in Monaghan
It changes every week
You know
For some reason, Eskimo's on it.
Yeah, because they need to chill out, man.
But it's almost like seeing
it's like take for granted now.
You want to get your cock out,
it's going to, people are going to see eventually.
People are a lot more sympathetic to, if you get, you know,
scammed and...
It happens the best of us, you know.
But this guy, where he fucked up is,
one of these guys, one of these Tory MPs,
is he was like
oh don't tell anyone
I'll give you the numbers
of other politicians
oh
so he gave out other politicians
because he was like
and you won't leak my dick pics
then they're like
oh sorry I can't hear you
oh wow
so that's how you rock the boat
that's he piss everyone off
yeah what a fucking idiot man
I know yeah
what did he think he was gonna
and you guys are trustworthy
yeah big tits
you wouldn't let me down
jiggly mill 420
come on
we're brothers in arms now
bind it together
secret. So people, I forget his name
now, people are making fun of him, and the private
eye, the magazine I guess sometimes
in the shop, they've been
talking with this a lot there. I tell you,
private eye's been going since
like 18 something. Really?
It's a very interesting magazine, yeah.
At one stage,
is it a, not Clive,
Dudley, it was Dudley Moore and
Peter Cook. Peter Cook was a main
funder for years and years and years. Yeah.
I mean sued a lot. It's very interesting.
They put a book out a few years ago about the history of private eye.
Right.
And I was like, oh, that sounds interesting.
I don't want to read it because a lot of scathe.
The broken lot of news stories talked about in the past is interesting kind of like publication.
Sure, yeah.
And it's such a kind of like, almost like it's weird because the sales of Private Eye are consistently very, very high.
Really?
They are not struggling at all.
Well, you know what?
I imagine people that are in this sort of echelon of society.
Yeah.
Because it's all stories about them.
and their friends or like
your political rivals people you like
so let's say it like if you're
so this is a scandal all about Tory
MPs all the Labour boys are probably
lapping it up also the Tory guys are buying it as well
they wouldn't know it's being said yeah
no, I'll just saw you bloody
no but private eye
I get that checked
Mike that lamp looks aggressive
otherwise you're a twat
and look this is the stuff here like
he apologised for his cock up
oh yeah
I don't get it.
What?
What's that me?
Was that like innuendo a summy?
That's what you puffs like,
Inche?
I prefer Burdard Manning.
That was comedy.
Well, so I went to like...
You know how they brought back
George Carlin AI?
That's just a Bernard Manning AI.
So in Brexit means Brexit guy.
He's like, oh,
the second he gets AI,
he's like, I know what to do here.
I know what Britain needs.
Fucking Alex Bernard Manning.
Back in my day
We're chuckle brothers now
It's chuckle non-binary's in chit
To they, to them
To they, to them
To them
To they, to them
To they, to them
I hired a translator
Not to teach me
Another language
Just explain what the fuck
Trans people are
Oh, Bernard
Bernard Manning
Is Chubby Brown dead
By the way?
No, of course not
Oh God
Are you crazy?
He was in Cork
Not too long
He's tried to be in Cork
a while ago
Yeah, it was a few years ago, like the Cork Opera House or something, and they, like, they banned them or they were like, no, you're not playing here.
Yeah.
For the crack, I think we should watch a bit Chubby Brown sometime.
Man, let's have him on.
Isn't he weirdly, like, not Christian, but he's very like, you know, I'd never use rude language outside in the real world.
I'd always kiss my wife on the head.
I think he's very, like, grandfatherly in real life.
Yeah, yeah, but they're on stage.
It's like, I was shagging the blackbird.
at least I thought
she were black turns out
I just shited on her face
chubby brown
or something
I don't know if that's
an accurate representation
of a sir Roy
Chubby Brown
I like to call it
Knife of the Realm
but yeah
it's an interesting subculture
that's sort of like British
working man's clubs
He probably, I don't know exactly now
but he's probably selling better than like Josh Whitacom
or something like that. Yeah, I'd imagine
so. He's probably minted.
Probably, yeah. I don't know. I don't.
I can read all biography here. I'm just looking up
I mean, I'll say this, like his
fan base are the only ones who still
own DVD players. Exactly.
He's putting out DVDs, like he put a DVD
out in 2023.
Yeah. It probably did gangbusters,
man. Yeah. Because who else
is buying DVDs? Like you said.
Stuart Lee, and he's only using them as a bit.
disrespectful. Russell
Kane worked very hard on that, sir,
and you're just walking all over it.
Maybe folks more of your marriage.
Yeah. Actually, we were talking about Richard Gad
earlier. I heard Richard Gadd and
Bridget Christie were, you know,
doing the nasty.
Oh my, she's the one who, oh my God.
No, no. It's consensual
relationship. Oh, okay, okay, right.
I thought you were about to blow my mind there and it's like, yeah.
I meant to get back at him, Stuart Lee
raped him. Take that.
But he did it in a very kind of like
funny way. Yeah, yeah. It was very
self-aware. Halfway through the rape,
he went into another room and was
interviewing Alan Moore in black
and white, and then he came back
and did the rape. Raped
him on a pile of bargain bin
comedy DVDs,
you know, it's hard to get raped when
you're looking at a
shitty JPEG of
Josh Wittigum's face.
Oh, well, quacko, what an awful
pick, oh, this is. It's a
conund one.
All the sacred cows.
I'm taking them all down, Brian.
I'm sorry, I went off on a mad tangent.
Let's get back to Private Eye.
Sorry, sorry.
That really got me there.
The Hallamor bit especially really got me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes.
I have my moments.
Now, here's what I want you to do for me.
In later episodes, when I'm feeling sad or not riffing well,
and you're looking at me and you're thinking,
why the fuck do I put up with this fat retard?
remember these little moments
I don't think I think these little
moments of brilliates you know
and same goes to you
dear Lister
when I'm gone
don't mourn just carry on
just rejoice
every time you hear this heart
of my voice
it's not even that funny really
my point is like I
try to look up my Kindle
yes private eye
the history of private eye
on the book yeah yeah it's about
you know about the hundreds of
your history and my Kindle froze
I just looked up private eye and it froze
and I just went on like gay erotica
What? Yeah because like
We Kindle by the way because they
I don't know if it's an algorithm thing but
that you can self-publish on Kindle
Oh wow
And there's a lot of self-published erotica on Kindle
If you look up anything like let's say look horses
It's all about the horse trainer
And it's a cover, it's always like a cover of like
A man's torso, rip torso
And like that's it
into horse trainer.
You look up
like wine making
it's like the wine maker
and it's like
the private eye
and it's like a guy
just a shirtless man
I couldn't change
and for like
I just couldn't change
my Kindle
I think my Kindle's getting old
So it's just getting all
the gay porn
I've got you know
when your Kindle gets old
It's all gay porn
It's a common problem
Your Kindle sounds a lot
Like a Tory MP
You know
They just get very
Sorted the older they get
But it's an interesting
I like
You know what is
because I'm trying to stay off Twitter
and it's kind of old school
it's like vinyl in a way
it's like to flip through the pages
It's like medieval Twitter
I'm like oh who's announced this week
Oh interesting
Oh I wouldn't like to be Jim Davidson right now
They're really raking them over the colds here
No I don't know
Okay thank God
They're always having a go
With poor old Jim Davidson
And all he did was try to make us laugh
Is there anything you want to talk about
this episode by the way
I kind of like
I need to recover
for a second there
I'm feeling like
a bit dizzy
but you
anything else
you want to talk about
you only heard
it's actually
just real quick
I mentioned like
I'm reading
private eye
yes
I'll listen to a little
bit of
a podcast a while ago
and just randomly
they were talking
about Barbara Streisand
on it
right
and they've been reading
her
autobiography
apparently by the way
her autobiography
is like 900
pages
oh my god
like it's like
bigger than Ulysses
it's bigger
than Finnegan's wake
or yeah
It's this huge thing
And they're saying it's really interesting
So I don't really know much
About Barbara Streisand
I don't either
She's been in like
She was in Seinfeld
Was she?
Yeah she was an absolute
Seinfeld
She was like
Huge like one of the first really
Like mainstream
Like gay icons
Like gay guys really loved her
And she did a lot
She does a lot of like
Like theatre
And musical theatre
Then obviously like a lot of movies
In the 70s
Like star is born
I know beaches
Yeah
The big thing to mention
Seinfeld again
like she was like this huge deal
but again it was all before
even my time
yeah we missed it
missed the both completely
yeah would you believe
that you know
a middle age Jewish woman
that didn't play very well
in Monaghan
that didn't
yeah
the Streisand effect
didn't make it as far as Monaghan
and you mentioned the gay clubs
she actually got a start
in a lot of bat houses and stuff
right okay you know like
you know James
you know like the bat house in Dublin
yes they're pretty kind of like
dull. There's no music
around in there, okay? In a lot of
of the New York ones in that time, like that music
because there's nowhere else to go. They're dancing
the Charleston. But like there's nowhere
nowadays you watch drag anywhere like
the drag and all the kind of merge. Can't escape.
Jesus Christ.
You go in for a chicken fillet roll
and it's a drag show. Welcome
to the drag deli.
No, please. I want to eat that chicken.
Oh, you'll have to eat it out of my
ass.
6.50. After
it's been in your orifice.
Oh, what has happened to our great
fish?
I'm glad Michael Collins is dead.
But what's my point?
Oh yeah, so she got to start
doing that. Like, it's a crazy time, okay?
Yeah.
But they were saying her autobiography
is interesting because
there's not a second
of like, I was lucky
to get this or like, you know,
this guy was nice to me.
The whole thing is so like
my incredible
talent propelled me
and like I did an audition
and this is her writing this
or ghost writers like everyone in the room
was amazed
like they said can you sing
I sung one note
everyone in the room I could tell
was a second away from weeping
because I'm so good
so it's very very she's very very
no was egotistical
but she's very incredibly confident
the incredible book I think egotistical
would be an actor. No, no, no. No, she's speaking truth. And there's, and, uh, in the podcast,
they're saying that, like, she has this weird thing where she's, she goes into a very, very
minute detail about, like, weird things. So, like, you know, like, I was in this deli.
I mentioned delis there. It's like, I went to this, uh, all night, uh, diner. And he used
to do this, the pancakes this way. Yeah. But then they changed it. She's going to the little
things like that. You know, I didn't like the change they made. Anyway, then I,
then I signed the record deal. Like, there's lots of little things like that. But there's a
guy she mentioned in the book apparently
that in her side of story
is her friend. Okay. But
in, he says, he
came out afterwards like, no, we were lovers.
Oh. Yeah, so it's a bit of discrepancy
there. Right. But a lot of stuff about him,
she has a very vague memory.
She's like, yeah, we went to the
I went to the Grammys
after party with, let's say, Greg.
Right. And I don't remember much about after that then.
But then afterwards then, when I
got back from the party, like there's a lot
of stuff like that, you know? I went for
some pancakes and they change
the batter mix again
and do you know
another fun fact she's very
very obsessed with it is that Barbara
Streisand or Streisand
Streisand Streisand
Streisand? I don't know how you say it correctly
but she is very serious
about don't get her name wrong
to the point where
on Siri
it was getting her name wrong slightly
and she called up Tim Cook
to berate him.
Wow.
And be like, you know, change this.
Wow.
You anti-Semite.
To be like, you know, she's very, very like,
protecting her brand.
Yeah.
Well, I know, like, it is...
I know the Streisand effect.
That comes from her, of course.
Yes.
What exactly does that mean, though, the Streisand effect?
So what happened is...
It's the definition of.
Her...
She had a beach house, I believe.
Right.
That was on Google Maps.
Okay.
And then she went to this whole...
I think she tried to sue or something.
She wanted that beach house off.
basically wanted to erase that beach house
from Google Maps. So it's just
sand there. Yes.
Okay. And because this became a new story
then everyone googled her
house. And it became this whole
big thing where people are like... So
she inadvertently
got like the exact opposite
response that she wanted. Exactly. She wanted
no one to know and now everyone
knows, right, okay. Yeah, it's like when you get
accused of paedophilia. It's like
the more you protest
and you're more like, no, it's O'Toole.
So yeah
So Michael Jackson
That's kind of like a Streisand effect
Like if I sleep in bed with the kids
And the kids don't get raped
Then they know I didn't rape them
It's good
Come on kids get in the bed
Cuddle up now
I take the beat dirt
Samoona
You know
I didn't realize
I didn't realize that's what the Streisand effect was,
so it's kind of like goofing up and getting...
Yeah, yeah.
You make it a scene and it becomes a bigger issue.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I listen to a podcast about that, basically.
Chapo or...
No, it's actually, here comes the guillotine.
Oh.
Not a...
It's Frankie Boyle, Christopher MacArthur Boyd.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know him?
Yeah.
How do you know him?
I saw him in the inter one night.
Oh, yeah.
years ago before he blew off.
Was he funny, was he?
He was very funny, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it's him and they're very funny.
And then it's another woman that I could kind of take her leave, I'll be honest.
Good.
She's grand, but she's a little bit like, ah, you know.
So, like, they be talking about, like, you know, like, Frankie Ball was saying some interest
about how, like, basically America is Germany, basically.
So, like, a lot of, like, American ideology and stuff is kind of German ideology.
kind of mutated and even like a lot of Germans
like it's very like even population wise
there's a lot of Germans
in America in America yeah
and a lot of them by the way came over and were like
no I'm actually Irish like because it was around the war
oh so like Operation Paperclip
no I so obviously that's a big example
like Werner von Braun and all that
but I mean just like regular people
let's say a lot of German families
in America when World War II kicked off
we're like okay we're going to just change our identity
right so like oh I'm called
Ickden Spine, but that's it, that's an Irish name.
That's from Sligo.
Hello, my name is Vratwurst, Fitzpatrick.
Of course, I hail from the county Kerry's, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I love to drink the Guinness potato drink.
It's delicious.
Yeah.
So it's like an interesting kind of like theory.
I don't know how real it is.
It's just talking about this stuff, okay?
And then she'd be like, ay, yeah, they're all bombs, aren't they?
Ah, it just kind of adds nothing to it really.
The dynamics is kind of fun
but they're talking about that on it. Actually speaking in Germany
I have been watching a show
called How the Nazis
Lost World War II.
Oh, it's good to learn from your mistakes, Brian, you know.
Figure out what went wrong, you know?
Because this next one, this is for keeps.
Oh, we ain't playing this time.
Wait till Carlo wakes up.
It's very clever what the Nazis did. They became Jews
and then carried out of genocides.
It's very clever.
Well done.
The old switcheroo.
You know, Germany by the...
Switch a Jew.
You know, Germany have been shutting down
Jewish people's accounts
for being anti-Semitic
because they support Palestine.
Yeah, they're like Jews
against Israel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's such a kind of funny.
It's honestly an overreach from Germany.
Be like, okay, we won't make this mistake again.
We're going to back the right horse this time.
Get the riot gear, boys.
We're doing it right.
We're going to be on the right side of history.
The Reich side of history.
But the point is, okay, it's a show called How the Nazis Lost World War II.
And it's pretty easy watching because every episode, I think it's like six episodes, and every episode was like a different topic.
Okay.
So the one I watched recently was like Hitler, basically they're like, it's so funny because it's like it presents as a kind of like a professional history show.
Right.
And it's from a few years ago as well.
So they probably would change the language now.
But it was like, yeah, Hitler was a junkie.
He was a no good goofball
He was all hopped up
On fucking goofballs
And he was jerking off to his little niche
And he was fucking an Alsatian dog
And he fucking painted like a queer
I don't know
A guy was a fruit cake
But instead of being like
Oh yeah he was on a lot of drugs
And that probably affected him
They're like he was a loser
That's why he did drugs
Anyone who does drugs the loser
and they're probably going to lose at a war.
Yeah, they're awful.
And, like, they start off with, like,
they also have to weird theories.
I've never heard before.
So one of them is, like,
you know the way like he was a soldier
and he got gassed?
Mustard gas, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
He was out commissioned for a while.
In World War I.
Yeah, yeah.
They also say he lost a testicle,
but that could just be British propaganda,
you know, who goes there.
Actually, Churchill being like...
Probably came from the private eye,
and say.
And all the Brian O'Tooleads of the world
were like,
it sounds rather credible to me.
Oh, Eddorf, lost a ball
Is one bollock short, you know
But they say it was like
A well-known thing that happens to get mustard gassed
Where you become more psychopathic
And you become, maybe this is true now
They had a name for it
But they say it affects your brain away
And you start, you lose
It sounds actually, I love this view
You become more confident, more psychopathic
And you lose your empathy
Kind of like CTE, you know
So it's like a certain kind of brain
damage caused by the poison
of the gas. Yeah, and they say like...
That just turned you into a winner.
Yeah, this be...
You stop having feelings like a pussy?
I could see these grind mindset guys.
Yeah, it's like, I'm going to mustard gas
myself. It's like taking steroids
they're in the gym with some mustard gas.
Jocko, Willenix, just taking mustard gas
supplements.
But, so they say that
and they also say like, he had no
friends during World World
War I.
He was a loser.
Nobody like, he couldn't get pushy.
The guy was a dictator,
not a dick giver,
you know what I'm talking about?
It was a little light on the loafers there.
They had no one friend
in World War I, okay?
And the friends said he had a misshaping
penis. Wow.
Yeah, and they're like, that's probably why
they did drugs. A lot of people with
strange genitalia, they can't handle
the real world.
This is amazing.
Where did you see this?
on Netflix.
Oh, my God.
And again, it's so
professionals,
narrated by a guy
who's something like
John Hurt
who's like,
as we all know,
Hitler had a
misshaping penis.
A real
awful penis it was.
Bit like yours,
Brian.
What?
You bloody,
your dog,
you're a cheeky bugger.
It's like
Requiem for a drink.
you're watching this documentary
turns into a game show
all right folks
let's guess how ugly Brian's
penis is
so they go into that
and then they talk more and more
about how he loved droid and like you know
you've heard about this
like he loved all the uppers
yes he was on like amphetamines and shit
like yeah yeah that is there are videos
of him proper geeked out
like you know and there's a big connection
between like uppers and like weird
sexual activity.
Because if you're like on, let's say you're on like
met and speed and all that,
holding the girl's hand
and kissing her doesn't mean
anything. Sure. Okay, like, again
like even like having...
You don't even need the drugs for that.
It's pretty meaningless, isn't it?
Oh, holding her hand.
Oh, now she's going to give me shit
because my hands are sweaty and covered
fucking feces.
Because my hands are covered in dog shit.
I don't have a dog.
always giving me grief
yeah so that's the last time
I'll be a good smart
I'll tell you that
you know the old ball and shade
but yeah
so he's on his
he had a weird
sexual dysfunction
so then they linked that to
you know
all stories I've heard
about him like in shit porn
and like you know
all the stuff
by him like you know
like shitting on women
and getting shit on
I didn't hear
I never heard that
I heard that
I heard that he was like
secretly gay
but then also
a pedophile
who wanted to bang his knee
see I've heard
so many different things that you know what's real and what's just like but again if he was completely
like whacked out on amphetamines you know kind of sexual dysfunction and perversion so that's why
you know having secret gay affairs or then molesting your niece or getting shit on yeah that's all
you know that's probably a ripping good time when you're on the on the wacky pills actually we're
going to get back to nazis in a minute but i found about something recently have you seen permanent
midnight yes i have you have you
Ben Stiller plays a heroin addict
Is it good?
It's...
I remember watching it years ago
out of a kind of general
curiosity because it's very like...
It's based on a real story.
It's based on a real TV writer
who wrote for Alf.
Yes.
And was doing drugs.
So like during the 80s and 90s,
he sees this like well-paid, you know,
hot shot writer in Hollywood
but he's just getting more and more addicted
to heroin.
So Ben Stiller is playing him
and it's very dark and grimy.
There's one really horrible scene
where he has
like an infant daughter
but he like drives to the ghetto
and buys heroin
and shoots up in the car
with the baby in the back seat.
Oh, it's like Zoolander.
Put the boom boom in the mother.
The heroin is in the baby?
Of course.
It's so simple.
Relax.
Don't do it.
Where do you want to go do it?
what is this
a drug mule for eggs
heroin
the drug mule needs to be
at least three times
these eyes
and so forth
you have a lot of heroin
so in right now
yeah
heroin chic
yeah
derelique
yeah
you can have a lot of fun
I'd never heard
a movie before
and it's like
how'd you hear about it
I just heard someone
mentioned
you've been talking
other weirdos
about dumb movies
about Ben Stiller
it's just interested that kind of
like Ben Stiller at that time
it's 1996 so he's kind of coming off
like the he's really at a peak
he's at the Ben Stiller show and cable guy
like a few kind of weird
you know out there kind of dark comedies or whatever
but this is like pure drama
where he plays like a very
like not a sympathetic character
at all like he's a piece of shit in it
so it's a good acting
and it's an interesting story
he all still has like Owen Wilson with him
so it's not like if you didn't think I might
heard that movie you see like it was Ben Siller
Owen Wilson I presume like oh it's probably a wacky comedy
about guys who I'd have a bag of diamonds
and a dog swallows one of the diamonds
and it's a chase after the dog
and then Snatch
then Snatch came out was like oh yes thank you
but yeah I don't know
I don't know if it's actually a good movie
but it's so long ago
since I've seen it but Ben Stiller is
good at playing a piece of shit
I would kind of like to see him do that more
Yes.
You know?
I told you four,
I want to see him play Epstein.
He would be an amazing Epstein.
Yes, yes.
I just want more Epstein in my life.
Yeah.
I might watch that.
I might watch that.
I've got a plan this weekend.
I'm going to take mushrooms.
Okay.
I'm going to drink a little prune juice.
I want this to get a big shit on mushrooms
while watching Ben Stiller do heroin.
It sounds like a great weekend, Brian.
And you've got a copy of private eye to bring you down if you trip too much.
Yes.
I'm tripping out.
I need some British satire
Bring you down slowly
That sounds like a fun
Yeah, best luck with that
There's other people like Brian, please
We're worried about you
I'm like shut up
Oh yeah
You're getting the old welfare checks
Don't they really stick in your craw
It's like hey
Hey I'm doing just fine
I don't need this
Yeah
Back to Nazis
Okay yeah
So one episode is about his drug
problem. I'm a small penis.
Sure. Okay.
And the next episode is about technology.
Oh.
And I didn't realize how bad
the Germans were technology.
What? They actually were, the Nazis.
Maybe the Germans in general, good with cars
and stuff like that. Yeah. But the Nazis were
actually pretty bad at it. And it's all because
they're ego. So instead of just being
like, we got a tank here
that works. Yeah. Let's build
5,000 of these. Yeah.
That's what all the other guys are doing. I was like, let's build those
of tanks. They're always like, we need to build a bigger
tank. And I was bragging like, oh, this tank's
good. We're going to make even better one.
So let's say there's like, I'm making
up examples here. Let's say there's like a tank called
the V1. Yeah. They make
the V2. But
almost as soon as they bring out the V1,
they're like, let's make it bigger. Yeah. And they're always
talking about like, we're going to make a tank that's like
the size of four tanks.
Oh, yeah. It's a huge thing. But like... And we'll call it
the V5. And we
just skip over three and four.
It becomes V5.
Yeah, but they make these tanks. They'd be
one tank that was so big is this impractical it's all about like showing off so yeah maybe one tank
like like like it would sink yes because it's so heavy yeah yeah straight away they're going
through like really like harsh terrain and it's all very mucky and if it rains yeah it's stuck in
the mode it couldn't cross bridges yeah because it was so heavy like even like just collapse even
like a bridge that could keep like loads of you know a car could drive over no problem and
record tank this one would like didn't you would drive the big tank over the bridge right
And it would collapse.
And the soldiers have to, like,
okay, we have to build a bridge now.
Oh.
Yeah, while the fucking, you know,
while fucking, you know,
Dunkirk is happening.
You know, Tom Hardy's driving the plane around to,
like, build the bridge.
Harry Stiles are swimming around in the paddling pool.
Yeah.
Just trying to clean the jizz out of his asshole.
And even like...
Simon Powell had quite a lot of volume.
Let me tell you.
Oh, boy.
Even like the tanks, okay, like, let's say the V1,
the V2, the V3.
There's all these different.
variations.
So they're like, oh, let's make a better version of the V2 or whatever.
It has a Blu-ray and a DVD player.
And laser disc.
Let's go retro, okay?
We have beta max in tanks so guys can watch Caddyshack's.
It's very funny movie.
It turns out it's Caddyshack too.
No!
But that's hard.
So let's say a tank breaks.
Yeah.
For the Allies, it's like, okay, get a new tank part.
Yeah.
But it's like, okay, we need a tank part, not for the V6, it's for the V7.
Right.
So, and then they have to keep, like, it's just harder.
So it's just fucking up their means of production and they just have to, yeah, produce more different parts.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there was all this, like, competition where there's guys coming to, like, I assume German businessmen where it was like, oh, I can make a better tank than them.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I'll make even better one.
And they're planes as well.
They kept, like, they kept, like, what they did a lot is like, we're going to build this.
aren't we great
and then they're going like
how the fuck do we build this?
Oh right.
Yeah, yeah.
So they're like
we're going to build
it's going to be like
a rocket
that can go to the moon.
Yes.
But you can also
drive it underwater.
Yeah.
Oh,
now we're cooking.
It can literally go
into the sun.
I don't know if we can put
Jews in the sun.
Hard enough for you.
But they build
all this stuff so stupid.
They build one thing
alright, it wasn't a plane
it was just a missile
with a cockpit
so you get in the missile
so poor old Fritz has got a hop
in the missile
there's no directions
to get back
yeah yeah don't worry about that
there's no wheels
so they shoot you up okay
and there's little wings so you glide
but there's no way to land without just
crashing because it doesn't have any wheels
yeah yeah so unless you find a
big field, you can like scrape
along the ground, yeah, and
crash to a few cows. Yeah, or maybe
like crash into a pillow factory
or, yeah, yeah, a marshmallow field
or something. Yeah,
it was, actually, that was a very interesting
episode, just going through all, like, the...
Now, how accurate is that, though, or is this
just, like... No, they're showing real footage.
Okay. This is interesting, they actually have a lot of the
real... Another fun thing is
the actual good guys
went off for NASA.
The guys who were, like, a lot of the guys who were like,
Warner von Braun.
Yeah, they're watching this stuff
being like, oh, that kind of plane.
Okay, you guys do that.
Yeah, cool.
I was like, hello.
It just all goes, tits up.
I'm over here, guys.
A lot of the guys, when it was happening,
were taking, like, I want a little bit
in liability.
Yes.
And they were like, oh, you know what guys?
You know, for the camps?
Maybe, like, you take all the credit for that.
You understand in the background, yeah, yeah.
Because a lot of them saw the writing on the wall.
the kind of obviously the smarter ones knew
because that's the thing about the Nuremberg rallies
a lot of people don't realize
very few people
were actually like
there was maybe I think there was like five
people executed
like five Nazis
and then maybe like
I'm talking like 10 to 15
incarcerations like literally
not even triple digits like literally
it was I think less than 20
actually faced any real repercussions
a lot of them
more people got around
rested for January 6th. Yes, literally. Yeah, yeah. It's
crazy. Now, I heard that somewhere. I really hope
that's true and I'm not just spouting off something from
Stormfront.com. Draintheswap.I.e.
Yeah, it sounds good, doesn't it? It's something I'm going to start saying
a house parties. Yeah, when I want to meet the chicks in the
clothes, yeah, the Nuremberg rallies are not very many. Don't
turn away from me. You big.
You know, like, you're in the club, okay, and the music's too loud.
It's like, excuse me, DJ, just turn it down for a minute.
I got a fun fact.
I'm going to take the mic for a minute.
It's a fun fact.
Why don't you go have a spliff break?
You're probably, you're drugs because you're mustard gas.
You've probably got a weird cock.
So you're a junkie who DJs for freak shows in a nightclub in Athlone.
but yeah i don't know if that thing is true it's something i heard but literally
the point is a lot of of the more clever ones saw the writing on the wall
and they made their exit strategies well before the war came to a conclusion yeah so then
operation paperclip obviously warner von brougham is the most famous example because then he
went on to like start nassau basically but like there are a lot of them that came over
really high-profile dudes.
And again, place into that thing
I talked about earlier, but, like,
um,
the lot of Germany's migrating
into America and, like,
the CIA just being like a,
the new version of the SS,
you know,
a lot of that.
And then obviously, like,
South America,
Argentina,
like a lot of them went there.
Yeah.
And then you get into the Hitler's not dead
and he lived in Argentina.
And that's true, Ryan.
That's 100% true.
Well, they do cover something
in this documentary as well.
They show at one stage,
and I will say,
don't explain this to all,
they show footage of dead Hitler.
Yeah?
And I was like, I'm pretty sure
there is a...
They never found the body.
Yeah, I was like, I'm pretty sure, isn't that whole thing?
Yeah.
And I was looking this up, and I might double check this for the next episode, but
from my Wikipedia, by the way, this is what, after I drank a full bottle of whiskey,
but from...
Honeycomb whiskey.
Yeah, yeah.
Which I'm pretty sure Nome Chomsky's not like this.
Nome Chomsky's not like, yo, yeah, I'm pretty sure...
Well, I don't know now for sure.
I'm pretty fucked up, I was off my teeth.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure the Iraq War was bad.
but I don't know yet.
Don't quote me, dude.
But there was something about like
these Russian guys
fake the video
of Hitler being dead
for Russians.
Really?
It's like a propaganda thing.
It's got like a guy to lie down
with a mustache, be like,
I'm so dead.
Yeah, yeah.
Wink, wink.
And they have a footage of him.
It's like handheld
like the Blair Witch Project.
Then big foot pops up, you know?
Smoked a cigarette
and Kubrick's filming the whole thing
Yeah, I mean that's something I've always heard
That they never actually found the body
Yeah, I think Russians took it
And I don't know what they did with it
I'd be mad if like just found his corpse
Just knocking around
Yeah, yeah
Just like it's for sale like Bezos buys it
Well they find so
Kind of like Hitler's corpse
For years I heard about a Sopranos video
And it's weird when you can't find stuff
on the internet this stage.
You expect to find everything.
Yes.
But I'm not joking.
For years I heard about this thing where when LeBron James left the Miami Heat.
Yeah.
No, sorry, sorry.
The Lakers.
No, no, no, no.
No.
He was with the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Right.
And he wanted to move teams.
To go to the Lakers?
No, go to Miami.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, he goes to Lakers, Venschey.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
But he was kind of.
court in teams, like, oh, I wonder which
team should I go to? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, who's going to give me the most
money? Exactly, right, right, right.
And everyone was trying their stuff.
Because he's a hot commodity. Yeah, he was
the biggest star. He's still
basically is the biggest star in basketball.
The New Jordan, basically.
Yeah, basically, yeah. So everyone tried their best.
Every team tried their best.
And the New York Knicks,
we're like, what do we have? How can
we convince LeBron to come
to our place? Yeah.
LeBron like Sopranos, let's get the Sopranos.
Right.
Let's get James Gandalfini.
And Edie Falco.
Yeah, yeah.
And have them film a little sketch.
Yeah.
And describe the sketch, James.
But my point is, sorry, and point is, for years I heard about the sketch they filmed.
Yes.
I've listened to, I listened to a podcast about the Knicks during COVID.
Yeah.
And they actually have a guy who's like, we can't find a video.
But I found a transcript.
I'm going to reinstate.
knack the transcript for you. Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah. I bet you were jizzing,
weren't you? Oh, I was like, oh my God. It's like seeing a new angle
of JFK his assassination.
You're like, oh my God. But describe,
so my point is eventually discovered
a video. Yes. Describe the new
Sopranos video.
My first takeaway, very
cheap looking, very
poorly shot. It looks like
it was, I mean, it's just
like, it's very poorly lit.
The composition's awful. It looks
like dog shit. Very student film,
vibes. But what's happening
is in the narrative of
this,
so Tony and Carmela
Soprano are just in their kitchen. Tony's
sitting down reading the paper.
Carmella's over there and she's like
oh, Tony looks like your friend
LeBron wants to move to
New York. It feels like an S&L sketch
doesn't it? But like not even, like
you know, bad, mad TV.
Yeah, the right, yeah, Mad TV more.
Such low production value and
like I can't imagine the
more than one take
it was a one and done
Gandalfini does not want to be there
I don't think he refused to shave
for it yes he was like I'm not going to shave for this
yeah which you know if he's
in witness protection that would be a good move
oh yeah I think the point is there in witness protection
yeah yeah yeah but again so
yeah Gandalfin Tony's like
yeah LeBron he's a good guy
he's uh you know he's a classy guy
he's modern but he respects
uh tradition
And it's just like, oh, well, maybe he'll come to the...
I don't even remember how it ended.
Maybe he'll come to New York.
He's like, well, he needs somewhere big to be...
No, he needs somewhere big and the show like the...
Madison Square Rock.
Yeah, exactly.
He's like, hey, that might be a good place for LeBron to live.
Yeah.
Really?
It was incredibly depressing to watch Brian.
That was, that's, oh, not only did it.
You're your favorite thing.
Yeah.
But the only thing I've ever expressed,
true love for you just
ruined in one fail
swoop so thank you
for that
but this is the New York Knicks
are a fairly big team
like this is like
they have connections to people with
cameras and you know
yeah people with lighting equipment
like you think they put more of an effort in
yes to get their big star in
other places
it looked awful
other places produced whole cartoons
yeah for LeBron
and they had like a big presentation
that all the stars like California
like L.A. did the whole thing
I forget who but that's like the biggest names of time
you know like I don't know like
Larry David or not Larry
like yeah like you know all these big guys
like hey it's me Ted Danson
come to L.A. All the huge
stars
Yo was that Ted dancing
oh shit I got to go to
LA. It was Ted dancing but from the
Whoopi Goldberg roast
and then in comes
Howard Stern
Whoopi you want
big smelly boop.
Oh, okay, well,
I guess you're paying goods
what's to come, but I didn't like the video.
I'll be honest. I didn't like that shit.
I was like, the story I heard is
for Miami.
Didn't do any of that shit.
Just underage prostitutes
saying, I'm sold.
No, it was
I can't remember, it is late. But anyway, the guy
who was running Miami
time, he's one of the, he's one of the bases
is for Gordon Gecko, I think.
Okay, right. But he walked in and just dropped,
because he won a lot of rings before.
Right, okay. He just dropped his rings on the table.
Like, do you want these?
Ah. And for some reason,
that... That's pretty good.
That convinced the bra and more than Tony's the Prano.
But that's thinking,
Gandalfini looks so depressed.
And the thing is, the paycheck that he got from that video,
he used to buy the cocaine and martinis
and steak dinners
that led to him being faithful.
down dead on the floor
in some hotel in Rome
so thank you LeBron
James for killing
Dandelfini
Yeah
But anyway
Hope you're proud yourself
Enjoy your drinks tokens
You have pieces of silver
But yeah I could see that one
With the rings
That's like you know it's it's understated
Riley
There's a sophistication to it
It's also like, hey, you want to be the best.
You've got to beat me.
And that's going to, look,
LeBron is much like me.
We're winners.
We've got a winners mentality.
We need it all.
We will not stop.
He wants to get all the rings.
I want to get all the biscuits.
I walk in, drop all the biscuits on the floor.
I like, do you want those?
I just eat jabby Dodgers off the
carpet, even after you've smushed them in with your foot.
Yes, more, please.
Oh, my goodness.
What can we talk about next?
We talked about Tarantino on the free one we talk,
on the Patreon we talk about Tarantino.
Listen to the Patreon, guys.
Can I say that?
This is the Patreon, folks.
Yeah, it was good.
We got a new girl subscribe to the Patreon.
A new girl?
Yeah, yeah.
What's her name?
I'm not going to...
It's weird.
I got a random message from a woman there.
said, I saw you do comedy.
I just wanted to say
you're disgusting and funny.
Oh, right, okay. I was expecting the last part.
Yeah, well, that was the big show.
I think she made it as like a compliment,
but you know, it's kind of weird.
It's funny, because I got that message
while I was watching Baby Rain Deer,
which is a show about a sad comedian
to get stalked by a mentally ill woman.
Oh, and I had a prophetic dream as well.
Oh, you want to talk about that?
Nah.
You're teasing the audience.
Well, I just had, it was weird.
I had a dream where I was driving and I crashed my car.
But a very notable detail from the dream was that both the wheels on the driver's side,
so the front of back wheel on the driver's side were both damaged and punctured deflated.
Then the very next day, on the anniversary mass of my father's death, by the way.
Really?
Yes, yes, yes.
That's why I was in Monaghan.
Wait, when was that?
On Monday.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah, I was back in Monon for that on Monday.
I was watching Ghostbusters that day.
Yeah, do you see my dad?
Who are you going to call?
Daddy, please.
Slimer?
Yes, my dead dad is Rick Moranis.
Anyway, so yeah.
But then the very next day my brother crashed his car
and both wheels on the driver's side were damaged inflated.
But the other two wheels were fine.
and it's just a very interesting
that would have that dream
with that specific detail
and the same thing would happen
I'm not going all
retarded fucking you know
astrology
I bet it's a decided from the universe
Have you ever had these
premonition
This is basically
That's so Raven
This that's so can
Hell you
That's so can
Oh my lord
My brother don't crash his car
I'm C
And I'm Corey in the house
But yeah
it's just interesting
It's an interesting little
I don't think I've ever had
any prophetic dreams
No, this is my first
It's gonna be a start of it
Maybe
In that's so Raven it
It would happen every episode
Then she'd have to dress up
In a funny costume
Oh, hello
We saw me
She probably did
She probably had to do that at some stage
Had to, it was in her contract
We watched a little bit
Actually a while ago
Raven's house
The spin-off
I didn't know
What?
Raven, not us
I mean like my buddies
Oh
We all watched
You're drinking buddy
Yeah, yeah, turn the match off, would you?
Hey, fellas, come see how fat she got.
Isn't she married to a woman now?
I think she's lesbian, yeah, yeah.
But it's weird, because we were watching
the first, the pilot episodes of Ravens House.
That's so gavin.
Talked me a little bit longer than it should have, but...
You've had a long day, man, you're going, yeah.
It's like the end of a game, you know, you're going at,
and near the end, you're going to like, oh, you're sweating, you know.
I'm telling you that Patreon was fire.
Yeah, yeah.
And you didn't even like, you shouldn't have been
during Gatorade after that. You were going hard.
That was one of my better performances.
I'll tell you what, I haven't been too bad on this one either.
You have not, no. And you've been good too.
But only because I tell you what, I'm not very good
to create any energy.
Yeah.
I suck the energy, all right?
Yeah. You do something like, yes.
Yeah.
That's how improv works.
And then when you, we turn it off, you tell me all the things I did wrong.
I have a list.
Where do you get time?
I saw your hands
You've got like just some frumpy middle age
Gaunt on the corner
Just like doing those like
Courtroom typists
What do they call those fuckers?
Stenegrof
Stenegrof
Steneg what
Oh no
And that's why LeBron
Didn't appreciate the Law and Order
Sketch they did
Hey, what's the LeBron
I'm the stenographer
And take down all the words
for your eyes.
We don't have all the letters.
I just push the buttons with the pictures
and the words come out. It's cool.
I have to say that Patreon
was very good now. Not to toot your horn
too much now. But I think
it is funny. You'll be doing something like, okay, yeah.
Anyway, I also saw this.
I also saw this.
Yeah, so I like to read private eye
and here's... Yeah.
I just read through it
suddenly.
well don't sell yourself short
on the theatre
the Patreon one you're reading
a playbill
program from upcoming theatre
yeah
so that was pretty good
I was saying there on the Patreon as well like
so I'm going to see more plays
yeah
I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit
and for a long time I would like watch a few bad movies
and be like oh I talk with this on the
on the show yeah
but I really just don't have the energy
I watch bad movies now like I watched a thing a while ago
It was called Class of 1999.
It's like a kind of,
I think it's the area 2000's kind of like
schlocky kind of horror movie about where like
there's schools where the kids are really rough
to send robots in to teach the kids.
Oh.
I was like, oh, this would be funny.
I watch it, it's like, well, is this shit.
Like, no, people making it know what's shit.
So like, what's the point?
I'm like, oh, James, it's so crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, and it was annoying.
So it's called Class 99.
It turns out it's a secret.
to a movie. And one of the fun
facts I saw was like, the sequel
contains no nudity, but the
previous one contained loads of nudity. I was like,
oh, great.
No, new...
The robots don't get naked.
It's like when I invests in Bitcoin. I was
like, oh. The robots
come in and teach them about consent.
I could have watched
porkies with robots, but instead of
watching fucking...
It was in Malcolm McDowell. It's funny,
Malcolm McDowell was in the sequel to the
movie. Really? Yeah, yeah.
Malcolm MacDell's career is so funny. Look at all
the movies he's being in. Yeah, man.
You work with Kubrick, man. He's like, yes, and now
I mean, class of
99. I mean, he's had like
two, oh no, I suppose gangster number
one was kind of well received, wasn't it? I never heard of
that. It's like him and Paul
Kay.
Oh, I don't know, it's kind of like a weird, like British
gangster film, but it's quite artsy. I remember
thinking it was pretty cool. I didn't even heard of that,
yeah. Gangster number one. He was in Caligula.
Of course.
Yes,
which I've also
never seen,
but heard was pretty
cool.
I've heard they're doing
a restoration of it
and people,
it's getting a critical
re-evaluation.
Wasn't it all like
unsimulated orgies?
So I think they...
They're all fucking.
It went through a lot
of different phases.
I think originally they wanted to do
like a very classy film
but with sex scenes in it.
But then like,
I think they lost funding
and then some guy was like,
I'll fund it for you.
Yeah.
They gotta be fucking for real.
Oh, you gotta put the...
Take that car
and show it.
up her eyes.
Showing up, MacDowell's ass.
He's like, oh, I say,
Choubrick never did this.
He took a lot of takes, I suppose.
A bit of the old, in-out, in-out.
Video, madrugie-wo.
Oh, stop talking like a fucking queer
and fuck her in a twine.
Oh, dear heavens.
Who's the director of Caligulae?
It's some guy who got shot
pretty soon afterwards. Let me look up. I'm not even
joking. Oh, that's a harsh review.
I tell you, back then, Roger Ebert wasn't fucking around, was he?
You got to make a name for yourself something.
The jaunist assassin.
Yeah, it's directed by, oh, give me a second here, guys, sorry.
Sorry.
Oh, Tito Brace?
Who's this?
I have no idea.
Never mind.
Tito.
Yeah.
I'm just saw a picture of Tito with a very young woman who's his wife.
Awesome.
This Tito, by the way, he looks about 89, and she looks about nine.
Yes, he was shot dead by her first husband
Yeah
Anyway
I don't know
I don't know
I'm looked up Tito now
Alright that's not
We're at the
Let's just wrap it up here
We're at the hour
I might watch
Caligula
Yeah
It's pretty interesting
Yeah
Screenplay by Gore Vidal
Whoa
Yeah
What the hell
They want to be like a classy
Oscar
Kind of like we're gonna push
I think they want to make
It's going to be sexual
But it's gonna be real good
It's like
Yeah
Yeah
And interesting
Again, like, kind of around the, what was it, like 60s, 70s?
Oh, yeah, so it is, sorry, 79, rock drama, and they lost funding, so then along came Bob Giusecchio, founder of Penthouse.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's like, I know how to make you picture work.
Nice.
Wait, is that, no, sorry, that's hustler.
Larry Flint was hustler.
Don't get your pornographers mixed up, James.
Sorry, I'm an idiot.
You were going so well.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, man, like, there's a lot of those, like, 70s movies
that are just, like, full-blown, just sexploitation,
just like, yeah, they were all real nine-year-olds,
and they're all really crying, and, yeah, every inch I gave them.
It's all tour theory, yeah, yeah, man.
Like El Toppo, what was that con called, Jordowowski?
Yeah, Jodowowski, yeah.
Just a pedo who raped the woman on camera,
and the Beatles loved it.
That's proper cinema is that.
I thought you lads were all puffs, but that were great.
When you smacked her in the gob and shoved you knob, I'm up her own.
Oh, I loved it.
Fun little fact where we go.
Caligula was, for some reason, it was broadcast on French TV with full unsimulated sex scenes.
It was the first unsimulated sex scene on French television.
Wow.
And it was so popular that a star tradition where every month they show a full-on pornographic film at midnight.
Oh.
It's like, you know, remember the bit of it.
big, big movie in Ortees.
I'll be back.
Don't eat my pizza.
Yeah. I'll be back. Don't eat my pussy.
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. We're over there. Yeah.
Good stuff. Good stuff.
Hey.
Brooklyn, great. I'm not until 12 tomorrow,
but I've got to do some refunds.
Oh, yes. Yeah.
Won't talk about that. A show didn't go well.
Which one?
I got to do refunds.
I got to just double check to see who's on
the show Sunday.
Yeah. Confirm with some people and all that.
Cancel some others.
Unless they can convince
me otherwise.
Use your powers of persuasion,
Gary.
You want to stay on the show?
You got to make Mr.
Caton happy.
It's showbidge, baby.
Baby reindeer.
That's where I go.
something Gary has a show on Netflix.
His
Edinburgh show. That first time
he did the racist voice, I laughed
but only from peer pressure.
I knew in that moment of
weakness I was giving into colonialism
and fear.
And yet, I laughed
as the drunken
slobber dribbled down his fat
cheeks and the sweat
beamed from his beetroot face.
And he did,
be such a ching-chong-tiderman oh
I laughed
and a nation weeped
epilogue
I'm going to end there I'm going to go down and watch some more fallout
all right
I'm going to get the laptop out
and do like boring work
while watching the nuclear apocalypse show
Fallout seems pretty good so far
It looks pretty good
yeah yeah so I watch that
we'll have fun
yeah
I think you're going to do
next anything fun coming up
uh no i'm gonna start uh i need to start getting a plan in action i would love to see you uh get uh like a like a tour guide job
yeah you want me to be another tour tits and teeth poor guide like you i'm like you gonna oh yeah if you want to go
dressed like that you can yeah come on show a bit of skin you know got to make a customer
appy you make me do the whole thing on roller skates oh well the first
famine was a very difficult time
in our country
I'm wearing like a sparkly
onesie I'm on roller skates
in a big like 70s
Afro wig and like giant
colored glasses
do the hustle
do do do it do it did it
da da da da da da da da da
let's end it there guys
all right well back next week
guys all right good luck
goodbye