Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 222 : Honey Trapped

Episode Date: April 20, 2024

WW2 history and Lebron. A great night for Brian....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We are back guys And we're back in my room I had Cadden downstairs for a bit And it was too much for him I was downstairs in the penthouse suite That's how it works right We're down in the lovely luxurious sitting room And now we're up back up
Starting point is 00:00:14 In the little squalid hole You call your boudoir It's a nice hole That's all right I look after it I've seen better holes I've got my copies of private eye here Yeah
Starting point is 00:00:25 Look I've got my new copies So I have my old I've got the Phoenix here Yes we'll look at that later on but this is the new private eye and it's all about
Starting point is 00:00:33 the honey trops I can't talk the I'm not a very good journalist the honey trap scandals I'm here to expose the gate water what is it
Starting point is 00:00:49 so honey trap I wouldn't be a very good news man I was like the Boston Wommings I mean the I forget it no one cares
Starting point is 00:00:58 but I just give up during this broadcast I'm like no one cares about the news fuck it no have you heard
Starting point is 00:01:04 about like the honey traps in the UK at the moment no so multiple politicians
Starting point is 00:01:09 have been honey trapped so basically what happens is commenting you get a text from a girl being like
Starting point is 00:01:15 hi remember me it's Janet okay and most lads are like yeah Janet
Starting point is 00:01:21 yes Janet of course I I spaffed on your bosoms as I'd call and I wasn't even deterred
Starting point is 00:01:29 by the fact that you were 19, which is rather old for me, you know, but, uh-huh, yes. But the thing is, like, normally you'd have to do a bit of like, remember we met at the party,
Starting point is 00:01:40 you're so handsome, oh, I'm going running, here's a, here's a picture of me. Like, kind of like, back and forth, you know,
Starting point is 00:01:47 like, oh, I'm in the shower now, but you won't see that, he-he, and then, like, oh, send the picture. Like, maybe you send that picture. It's like, oh, I'll send you a picture of my,
Starting point is 00:01:55 my chest. It's like, well, maybe put the camera down a little bit. Oh, yeah. A lot of these guys is like, hi, I'm Janet. It's like, do you want to see my cock? Do you want like, my cock and the the diagram for Trident?
Starting point is 00:02:08 The nuclear codes. You want to see me sticking my cock on the Margaret Thatcher Memorial bench? Here it is. Look at that while the pigeons and the plebs look on. I gasped by my knob. so that's one thing
Starting point is 00:02:31 okay and obviously like I think this day and age like I think back in the day if you got caught in like any kind of
Starting point is 00:02:38 like internet sex thing it was like oh it's e cyber scandal erotic e pictures yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:02:48 and it was WWW dot and the W stands for wanking online the worldwide
Starting point is 00:02:57 wanking web not the best headline but I'm sorry I wasn't privately educated like these honey trap perverts but so I think at this day and age like so a few of them being caught
Starting point is 00:03:10 and people are like I actually feel sad I feel his embarrassment I think we should as a society we should be kinder to do politicians
Starting point is 00:03:18 that take pictures of her cocks yes you know and they're kind of like you know who are I'm Spartacus I'm Spartacus
Starting point is 00:03:24 you know I'm Spartac cock. Yeah, it's a very common thing now, like everyone's sending you know, sexy pictures online. Yeah, I think, you know, like this is what do you want? This is what the Zionists want by and they want to corrupt us as a
Starting point is 00:03:39 society. They're trying to take us further away from God. That's why they're having children spreading their butt holes on Pornhub and you pay $12.99 a month for it. You'll see that in Pornhub. Believe me, you do, mate. Now, they've been done many times for showing underage.
Starting point is 00:03:57 apparently. Okay. But anyway, in regards. They banned it in Texas. You can't get Pornhub in Texas anymore.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Can you know? No, you have to, well, you have to like show a picture of your ID to like love.
Starting point is 00:04:08 To who? The postman. No, the web camera, Brian, you fool. Oh, I don't you have to
Starting point is 00:04:13 go to like government building and be like, hello. With your cock just like a box of tissues, your pants
Starting point is 00:04:20 around your ankle. I really want to come. Where's Governor Abbott? I'm ready. I'm ready for my Close up, Mr. DeMille. This goes to John Fetterman. But, yeah, apparently you have to show a picture of your driver's license or a government
Starting point is 00:04:36 ID to be able to... To the webcam. Yeah, to access. This is like, isn't like so many privacy concerns. Listen, Matt, but Texas passed the law, but it's just for pornhub specifically. Isn't Joe Rogan in Texas? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Like Shane Gillis was talking about it on the last episode. It's like, can't get porn hub here anymore. Have to go to like X videos. and whack tube and jizzyspunk.com, you know? I like jizzyspunk. Oh, it's good. They do good work. They do good work.
Starting point is 00:05:06 That's where I learned about the Zionists, the comment sections on the videos of jizzyspunk.org. You guys like, yeah, I don't read the, I don't own a TV. I'm not, uh, they want you to be fat and ignorant, you far, you swine. The opium of the masses. The common section of porn is always very funny. I don't look at the comments too much now. When I do, you're right, it is pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Sometimes I was just like, I will save you. It's like, oh, dad, it's all sadness. What a sweet angel. Or like when they die, when a porn star dies, it all. Like, you're in the heavens now. God is jizzing on your tits. You're getting Bukakkied by the 12 disciples While Judas asphy wanks from hell
Starting point is 00:06:04 You're getting black clock in the clouds Black rock in the clouds Black raw by the Muslim Brotherhood Yeah No, it's very funny now When women die I get a chuckle also male porn stars you know
Starting point is 00:06:26 that's such a tragedy hey you know it's okay to not be okay there's a mental health crisis among the bros you see you think guys like me with big dicks think it's all you know sunshine lollipops
Starting point is 00:06:40 but now we struggle too because all that blood that flows to our big cocks there's not enough going up to me nogging so I get sadness in my brain. There's like a World War II like Captain Tom veteran in a wheelchair and you just push past him
Starting point is 00:06:55 and you go up to like someone like called Bend Over and I thank you very much for your service. Please. You help people in so many ways. You've been awarded with the Purple Head Award for bravery. You were the first one to bang a 17 year old on camera. You helped this country
Starting point is 00:07:15 through our time of crisis. the Purple Head Award Does that work? I think that plays They don't get it wouldn't they? Is that track? Does that hit all the quadrants?
Starting point is 00:07:29 But, okay, so hit me, what's this? My point is, no, so my point is, normally that happens
Starting point is 00:07:34 at this stage, it's like, look, we've all sent dick pics. It could have been, hey, that could happen to me, you know?
Starting point is 00:07:40 Yes. Like, these scams are pretty intelligent. Like, Dill, look, so you could have a, it's not just always like,
Starting point is 00:07:46 hey, I'm, sexy milf 420 yeah it's not always that I'm jiggly tits 027 4 slash D there's a pleasure
Starting point is 00:07:58 to me to imagine my a rose by any name was Cimel just as sweet jiggly tits like we went to school together I'm like oh yes I remember you well yes from the comprehensive very good
Starting point is 00:08:11 but sometimes they've got technology now where it was replicate like you know because you know what's WhatsApp stuff like that you only see a picture is James Cadden Yes So someone will text you
Starting point is 00:08:23 with your profile picture with like J-A-M-M-E-S maybe Cadden or someone's just like pure just James Cadden Yes And you're not going to be like Check to make sure
Starting point is 00:08:30 Is this really James Cadden You're not like checking the number You're just like you don't pay attention Like to prove it Tell me the top five Most Hated races By people in Monaghan It changes every week
Starting point is 00:08:45 You know For some reason, Eskimo's on it. Yeah, because they need to chill out, man. But it's almost like seeing it's like take for granted now. You want to get your cock out, it's going to, people are going to see eventually. People are a lot more sympathetic to, if you get, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:06 scammed and... It happens the best of us, you know. But this guy, where he fucked up is, one of these guys, one of these Tory MPs, is he was like oh don't tell anyone I'll give you the numbers of other politicians
Starting point is 00:09:19 oh so he gave out other politicians because he was like and you won't leak my dick pics then they're like oh sorry I can't hear you oh wow so that's how you rock the boat
Starting point is 00:09:29 that's he piss everyone off yeah what a fucking idiot man I know yeah what did he think he was gonna and you guys are trustworthy yeah big tits you wouldn't let me down jiggly mill 420
Starting point is 00:09:41 come on we're brothers in arms now bind it together secret. So people, I forget his name now, people are making fun of him, and the private eye, the magazine I guess sometimes in the shop, they've been talking with this a lot there. I tell you,
Starting point is 00:09:55 private eye's been going since like 18 something. Really? It's a very interesting magazine, yeah. At one stage, is it a, not Clive, Dudley, it was Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. Peter Cook was a main funder for years and years and years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:12 I mean sued a lot. It's very interesting. They put a book out a few years ago about the history of private eye. Right. And I was like, oh, that sounds interesting. I don't want to read it because a lot of scathe. The broken lot of news stories talked about in the past is interesting kind of like publication. Sure, yeah. And it's such a kind of like, almost like it's weird because the sales of Private Eye are consistently very, very high.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Really? They are not struggling at all. Well, you know what? I imagine people that are in this sort of echelon of society. Yeah. Because it's all stories about them. and their friends or like your political rivals people you like
Starting point is 00:10:49 so let's say it like if you're so this is a scandal all about Tory MPs all the Labour boys are probably lapping it up also the Tory guys are buying it as well they wouldn't know it's being said yeah no, I'll just saw you bloody no but private eye I get that checked
Starting point is 00:11:05 Mike that lamp looks aggressive otherwise you're a twat and look this is the stuff here like he apologised for his cock up oh yeah I don't get it. What? What's that me?
Starting point is 00:11:18 Was that like innuendo a summy? That's what you puffs like, Inche? I prefer Burdard Manning. That was comedy. Well, so I went to like... You know how they brought back George Carlin AI?
Starting point is 00:11:31 That's just a Bernard Manning AI. So in Brexit means Brexit guy. He's like, oh, the second he gets AI, he's like, I know what to do here. I know what Britain needs. Fucking Alex Bernard Manning. Back in my day
Starting point is 00:11:46 We're chuckle brothers now It's chuckle non-binary's in chit To they, to them To they, to them To them To they, to them To they, to them I hired a translator
Starting point is 00:11:57 Not to teach me Another language Just explain what the fuck Trans people are Oh, Bernard Bernard Manning Is Chubby Brown dead By the way?
Starting point is 00:12:07 No, of course not Oh God Are you crazy? He was in Cork Not too long He's tried to be in Cork a while ago Yeah, it was a few years ago, like the Cork Opera House or something, and they, like, they banned them or they were like, no, you're not playing here.
Starting point is 00:12:21 Yeah. For the crack, I think we should watch a bit Chubby Brown sometime. Man, let's have him on. Isn't he weirdly, like, not Christian, but he's very like, you know, I'd never use rude language outside in the real world. I'd always kiss my wife on the head. I think he's very, like, grandfatherly in real life. Yeah, yeah, but they're on stage. It's like, I was shagging the blackbird.
Starting point is 00:12:44 at least I thought she were black turns out I just shited on her face chubby brown or something I don't know if that's an accurate representation of a sir Roy
Starting point is 00:13:01 Chubby Brown I like to call it Knife of the Realm but yeah it's an interesting subculture that's sort of like British working man's clubs He probably, I don't know exactly now
Starting point is 00:13:15 but he's probably selling better than like Josh Whitacom or something like that. Yeah, I'd imagine so. He's probably minted. Probably, yeah. I don't know. I don't. I can read all biography here. I'm just looking up I mean, I'll say this, like his fan base are the only ones who still own DVD players. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:31 He's putting out DVDs, like he put a DVD out in 2023. Yeah. It probably did gangbusters, man. Yeah. Because who else is buying DVDs? Like you said. Stuart Lee, and he's only using them as a bit. disrespectful. Russell Kane worked very hard on that, sir,
Starting point is 00:13:47 and you're just walking all over it. Maybe folks more of your marriage. Yeah. Actually, we were talking about Richard Gad earlier. I heard Richard Gadd and Bridget Christie were, you know, doing the nasty. Oh my, she's the one who, oh my God. No, no. It's consensual
Starting point is 00:14:03 relationship. Oh, okay, okay, right. I thought you were about to blow my mind there and it's like, yeah. I meant to get back at him, Stuart Lee raped him. Take that. But he did it in a very kind of like funny way. Yeah, yeah. It was very self-aware. Halfway through the rape, he went into another room and was
Starting point is 00:14:19 interviewing Alan Moore in black and white, and then he came back and did the rape. Raped him on a pile of bargain bin comedy DVDs, you know, it's hard to get raped when you're looking at a shitty JPEG of
Starting point is 00:14:35 Josh Wittigum's face. Oh, well, quacko, what an awful pick, oh, this is. It's a conund one. All the sacred cows. I'm taking them all down, Brian. I'm sorry, I went off on a mad tangent. Let's get back to Private Eye.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Sorry, sorry. That really got me there. The Hallamor bit especially really got me. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I have my moments. Now, here's what I want you to do for me.
Starting point is 00:15:03 In later episodes, when I'm feeling sad or not riffing well, and you're looking at me and you're thinking, why the fuck do I put up with this fat retard? remember these little moments I don't think I think these little moments of brilliates you know and same goes to you dear Lister
Starting point is 00:15:21 when I'm gone don't mourn just carry on just rejoice every time you hear this heart of my voice it's not even that funny really my point is like I try to look up my Kindle
Starting point is 00:15:37 yes private eye the history of private eye on the book yeah yeah it's about you know about the hundreds of your history and my Kindle froze I just looked up private eye and it froze and I just went on like gay erotica What? Yeah because like
Starting point is 00:15:50 We Kindle by the way because they I don't know if it's an algorithm thing but that you can self-publish on Kindle Oh wow And there's a lot of self-published erotica on Kindle If you look up anything like let's say look horses It's all about the horse trainer And it's a cover, it's always like a cover of like
Starting point is 00:16:07 A man's torso, rip torso And like that's it into horse trainer. You look up like wine making it's like the wine maker and it's like the private eye
Starting point is 00:16:19 and it's like a guy just a shirtless man I couldn't change and for like I just couldn't change my Kindle I think my Kindle's getting old So it's just getting all
Starting point is 00:16:27 the gay porn I've got you know when your Kindle gets old It's all gay porn It's a common problem Your Kindle sounds a lot Like a Tory MP You know
Starting point is 00:16:36 They just get very Sorted the older they get But it's an interesting I like You know what is because I'm trying to stay off Twitter and it's kind of old school it's like vinyl in a way
Starting point is 00:16:47 it's like to flip through the pages It's like medieval Twitter I'm like oh who's announced this week Oh interesting Oh I wouldn't like to be Jim Davidson right now They're really raking them over the colds here No I don't know Okay thank God
Starting point is 00:17:02 They're always having a go With poor old Jim Davidson And all he did was try to make us laugh Is there anything you want to talk about this episode by the way I kind of like I need to recover for a second there
Starting point is 00:17:14 I'm feeling like a bit dizzy but you anything else you want to talk about you only heard it's actually just real quick
Starting point is 00:17:20 I mentioned like I'm reading private eye yes I'll listen to a little bit of a podcast a while ago and just randomly
Starting point is 00:17:27 they were talking about Barbara Streisand on it right and they've been reading her autobiography apparently by the way
Starting point is 00:17:34 her autobiography is like 900 pages oh my god like it's like bigger than Ulysses it's bigger than Finnegan's wake
Starting point is 00:17:41 or yeah It's this huge thing And they're saying it's really interesting So I don't really know much About Barbara Streisand I don't either She's been in like She was in Seinfeld
Starting point is 00:17:49 Was she? Yeah she was an absolute Seinfeld She was like Huge like one of the first really Like mainstream Like gay icons Like gay guys really loved her
Starting point is 00:17:59 And she did a lot She does a lot of like Like theatre And musical theatre Then obviously like a lot of movies In the 70s Like star is born I know beaches
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yeah The big thing to mention Seinfeld again like she was like this huge deal but again it was all before even my time yeah we missed it missed the both completely
Starting point is 00:18:18 yeah would you believe that you know a middle age Jewish woman that didn't play very well in Monaghan that didn't yeah the Streisand effect
Starting point is 00:18:28 didn't make it as far as Monaghan and you mentioned the gay clubs she actually got a start in a lot of bat houses and stuff right okay you know like you know James you know like the bat house in Dublin yes they're pretty kind of like
Starting point is 00:18:40 dull. There's no music around in there, okay? In a lot of of the New York ones in that time, like that music because there's nowhere else to go. They're dancing the Charleston. But like there's nowhere nowadays you watch drag anywhere like the drag and all the kind of merge. Can't escape. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:18:57 You go in for a chicken fillet roll and it's a drag show. Welcome to the drag deli. No, please. I want to eat that chicken. Oh, you'll have to eat it out of my ass. 6.50. After it's been in your orifice.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Oh, what has happened to our great fish? I'm glad Michael Collins is dead. But what's my point? Oh yeah, so she got to start doing that. Like, it's a crazy time, okay? Yeah. But they were saying her autobiography
Starting point is 00:19:26 is interesting because there's not a second of like, I was lucky to get this or like, you know, this guy was nice to me. The whole thing is so like my incredible talent propelled me
Starting point is 00:19:42 and like I did an audition and this is her writing this or ghost writers like everyone in the room was amazed like they said can you sing I sung one note everyone in the room I could tell was a second away from weeping
Starting point is 00:19:59 because I'm so good so it's very very she's very very no was egotistical but she's very incredibly confident the incredible book I think egotistical would be an actor. No, no, no. No, she's speaking truth. And there's, and, uh, in the podcast, they're saying that, like, she has this weird thing where she's, she goes into a very, very minute detail about, like, weird things. So, like, you know, like, I was in this deli.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I mentioned delis there. It's like, I went to this, uh, all night, uh, diner. And he used to do this, the pancakes this way. Yeah. But then they changed it. She's going to the little things like that. You know, I didn't like the change they made. Anyway, then I, then I signed the record deal. Like, there's lots of little things like that. But there's a guy she mentioned in the book apparently that in her side of story is her friend. Okay. But in, he says, he
Starting point is 00:20:48 came out afterwards like, no, we were lovers. Oh. Yeah, so it's a bit of discrepancy there. Right. But a lot of stuff about him, she has a very vague memory. She's like, yeah, we went to the I went to the Grammys after party with, let's say, Greg. Right. And I don't remember much about after that then.
Starting point is 00:21:04 But then afterwards then, when I got back from the party, like there's a lot of stuff like that, you know? I went for some pancakes and they change the batter mix again and do you know another fun fact she's very very obsessed with it is that Barbara
Starting point is 00:21:20 Streisand or Streisand Streisand Streisand Streisand? I don't know how you say it correctly but she is very serious about don't get her name wrong to the point where on Siri it was getting her name wrong slightly
Starting point is 00:21:37 and she called up Tim Cook to berate him. Wow. And be like, you know, change this. Wow. You anti-Semite. To be like, you know, she's very, very like, protecting her brand.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Yeah. Well, I know, like, it is... I know the Streisand effect. That comes from her, of course. Yes. What exactly does that mean, though, the Streisand effect? So what happened is... It's the definition of.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Her... She had a beach house, I believe. Right. That was on Google Maps. Okay. And then she went to this whole... I think she tried to sue or something. She wanted that beach house off.
Starting point is 00:22:10 basically wanted to erase that beach house from Google Maps. So it's just sand there. Yes. Okay. And because this became a new story then everyone googled her house. And it became this whole big thing where people are like... So she inadvertently
Starting point is 00:22:25 got like the exact opposite response that she wanted. Exactly. She wanted no one to know and now everyone knows, right, okay. Yeah, it's like when you get accused of paedophilia. It's like the more you protest and you're more like, no, it's O'Toole. So yeah
Starting point is 00:22:45 So Michael Jackson That's kind of like a Streisand effect Like if I sleep in bed with the kids And the kids don't get raped Then they know I didn't rape them It's good Come on kids get in the bed Cuddle up now
Starting point is 00:23:00 I take the beat dirt Samoona You know I didn't realize I didn't realize that's what the Streisand effect was, so it's kind of like goofing up and getting... Yeah, yeah. You make it a scene and it becomes a bigger issue.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Right. Yeah, yeah. Well, I listen to a podcast about that, basically. Chapo or... No, it's actually, here comes the guillotine. Oh. Not a... It's Frankie Boyle, Christopher MacArthur Boyd.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Oh, yeah. Do you know him? Yeah. How do you know him? I saw him in the inter one night. Oh, yeah. years ago before he blew off. Was he funny, was he?
Starting point is 00:23:42 He was very funny, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's him and they're very funny. And then it's another woman that I could kind of take her leave, I'll be honest. Good. She's grand, but she's a little bit like, ah, you know. So, like, they be talking about, like, you know, like, Frankie Ball was saying some interest about how, like, basically America is Germany, basically. So, like, a lot of, like, American ideology and stuff is kind of German ideology.
Starting point is 00:24:09 kind of mutated and even like a lot of Germans like it's very like even population wise there's a lot of Germans in America in America yeah and a lot of them by the way came over and were like no I'm actually Irish like because it was around the war oh so like Operation Paperclip no I so obviously that's a big example
Starting point is 00:24:26 like Werner von Braun and all that but I mean just like regular people let's say a lot of German families in America when World War II kicked off we're like okay we're going to just change our identity right so like oh I'm called Ickden Spine, but that's it, that's an Irish name. That's from Sligo.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Hello, my name is Vratwurst, Fitzpatrick. Of course, I hail from the county Kerry's, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love to drink the Guinness potato drink. It's delicious. Yeah. So it's like an interesting kind of like theory. I don't know how real it is.
Starting point is 00:25:01 It's just talking about this stuff, okay? And then she'd be like, ay, yeah, they're all bombs, aren't they? Ah, it just kind of adds nothing to it really. The dynamics is kind of fun but they're talking about that on it. Actually speaking in Germany I have been watching a show called How the Nazis Lost World War II.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Oh, it's good to learn from your mistakes, Brian, you know. Figure out what went wrong, you know? Because this next one, this is for keeps. Oh, we ain't playing this time. Wait till Carlo wakes up. It's very clever what the Nazis did. They became Jews and then carried out of genocides. It's very clever.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Well done. The old switcheroo. You know, Germany by the... Switch a Jew. You know, Germany have been shutting down Jewish people's accounts for being anti-Semitic because they support Palestine.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Yeah, they're like Jews against Israel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a kind of funny. It's honestly an overreach from Germany. Be like, okay, we won't make this mistake again. We're going to back the right horse this time. Get the riot gear, boys.
Starting point is 00:26:03 We're doing it right. We're going to be on the right side of history. The Reich side of history. But the point is, okay, it's a show called How the Nazis Lost World War II. And it's pretty easy watching because every episode, I think it's like six episodes, and every episode was like a different topic. Okay. So the one I watched recently was like Hitler, basically they're like, it's so funny because it's like it presents as a kind of like a professional history show. Right.
Starting point is 00:26:32 And it's from a few years ago as well. So they probably would change the language now. But it was like, yeah, Hitler was a junkie. He was a no good goofball He was all hopped up On fucking goofballs And he was jerking off to his little niche And he was fucking an Alsatian dog
Starting point is 00:26:51 And he fucking painted like a queer I don't know A guy was a fruit cake But instead of being like Oh yeah he was on a lot of drugs And that probably affected him They're like he was a loser That's why he did drugs
Starting point is 00:27:05 Anyone who does drugs the loser and they're probably going to lose at a war. Yeah, they're awful. And, like, they start off with, like, they also have to weird theories. I've never heard before. So one of them is, like, you know the way like he was a soldier
Starting point is 00:27:17 and he got gassed? Mustard gas, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. He was out commissioned for a while. In World War I. Yeah, yeah. They also say he lost a testicle, but that could just be British propaganda,
Starting point is 00:27:28 you know, who goes there. Actually, Churchill being like... Probably came from the private eye, and say. And all the Brian O'Tooleads of the world were like, it sounds rather credible to me. Oh, Eddorf, lost a ball
Starting point is 00:27:41 Is one bollock short, you know But they say it was like A well-known thing that happens to get mustard gassed Where you become more psychopathic And you become, maybe this is true now They had a name for it But they say it affects your brain away And you start, you lose
Starting point is 00:28:00 It sounds actually, I love this view You become more confident, more psychopathic And you lose your empathy Kind of like CTE, you know So it's like a certain kind of brain damage caused by the poison of the gas. Yeah, and they say like... That just turned you into a winner.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Yeah, this be... You stop having feelings like a pussy? I could see these grind mindset guys. Yeah, it's like, I'm going to mustard gas myself. It's like taking steroids they're in the gym with some mustard gas. Jocko, Willenix, just taking mustard gas supplements.
Starting point is 00:28:32 But, so they say that and they also say like, he had no friends during World World War I. He was a loser. Nobody like, he couldn't get pushy. The guy was a dictator, not a dick giver,
Starting point is 00:28:44 you know what I'm talking about? It was a little light on the loafers there. They had no one friend in World War I, okay? And the friends said he had a misshaping penis. Wow. Yeah, and they're like, that's probably why they did drugs. A lot of people with
Starting point is 00:29:00 strange genitalia, they can't handle the real world. This is amazing. Where did you see this? on Netflix. Oh, my God. And again, it's so professionals,
Starting point is 00:29:10 narrated by a guy who's something like John Hurt who's like, as we all know, Hitler had a misshaping penis. A real
Starting point is 00:29:18 awful penis it was. Bit like yours, Brian. What? You bloody, your dog, you're a cheeky bugger. It's like
Starting point is 00:29:35 Requiem for a drink. you're watching this documentary turns into a game show all right folks let's guess how ugly Brian's penis is so they go into that and then they talk more and more
Starting point is 00:29:54 about how he loved droid and like you know you've heard about this like he loved all the uppers yes he was on like amphetamines and shit like yeah yeah that is there are videos of him proper geeked out like you know and there's a big connection between like uppers and like weird
Starting point is 00:30:07 sexual activity. Because if you're like on, let's say you're on like met and speed and all that, holding the girl's hand and kissing her doesn't mean anything. Sure. Okay, like, again like even like having... You don't even need the drugs for that.
Starting point is 00:30:23 It's pretty meaningless, isn't it? Oh, holding her hand. Oh, now she's going to give me shit because my hands are sweaty and covered fucking feces. Because my hands are covered in dog shit. I don't have a dog. always giving me grief
Starting point is 00:30:40 yeah so that's the last time I'll be a good smart I'll tell you that you know the old ball and shade but yeah so he's on his he had a weird sexual dysfunction
Starting point is 00:30:49 so then they linked that to you know all stories I've heard about him like in shit porn and like you know all the stuff by him like you know like shitting on women
Starting point is 00:30:56 and getting shit on I didn't hear I never heard that I heard that I heard that he was like secretly gay but then also a pedophile
Starting point is 00:31:05 who wanted to bang his knee see I've heard so many different things that you know what's real and what's just like but again if he was completely like whacked out on amphetamines you know kind of sexual dysfunction and perversion so that's why you know having secret gay affairs or then molesting your niece or getting shit on yeah that's all you know that's probably a ripping good time when you're on the on the wacky pills actually we're going to get back to nazis in a minute but i found about something recently have you seen permanent midnight yes i have you have you
Starting point is 00:31:37 Ben Stiller plays a heroin addict Is it good? It's... I remember watching it years ago out of a kind of general curiosity because it's very like... It's based on a real story. It's based on a real TV writer
Starting point is 00:31:52 who wrote for Alf. Yes. And was doing drugs. So like during the 80s and 90s, he sees this like well-paid, you know, hot shot writer in Hollywood but he's just getting more and more addicted to heroin.
Starting point is 00:32:04 So Ben Stiller is playing him and it's very dark and grimy. There's one really horrible scene where he has like an infant daughter but he like drives to the ghetto and buys heroin and shoots up in the car
Starting point is 00:32:18 with the baby in the back seat. Oh, it's like Zoolander. Put the boom boom in the mother. The heroin is in the baby? Of course. It's so simple. Relax. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Where do you want to go do it? what is this a drug mule for eggs heroin the drug mule needs to be at least three times these eyes and so forth
Starting point is 00:32:49 you have a lot of heroin so in right now yeah heroin chic yeah derelique yeah you can have a lot of fun
Starting point is 00:32:57 I'd never heard a movie before and it's like how'd you hear about it I just heard someone mentioned you've been talking other weirdos
Starting point is 00:33:02 about dumb movies about Ben Stiller it's just interested that kind of like Ben Stiller at that time it's 1996 so he's kind of coming off like the he's really at a peak he's at the Ben Stiller show and cable guy like a few kind of weird
Starting point is 00:33:18 you know out there kind of dark comedies or whatever but this is like pure drama where he plays like a very like not a sympathetic character at all like he's a piece of shit in it so it's a good acting and it's an interesting story he all still has like Owen Wilson with him
Starting point is 00:33:35 so it's not like if you didn't think I might heard that movie you see like it was Ben Siller Owen Wilson I presume like oh it's probably a wacky comedy about guys who I'd have a bag of diamonds and a dog swallows one of the diamonds and it's a chase after the dog and then Snatch then Snatch came out was like oh yes thank you
Starting point is 00:33:51 but yeah I don't know I don't know if it's actually a good movie but it's so long ago since I've seen it but Ben Stiller is good at playing a piece of shit I would kind of like to see him do that more Yes. You know?
Starting point is 00:34:06 I told you four, I want to see him play Epstein. He would be an amazing Epstein. Yes, yes. I just want more Epstein in my life. Yeah. I might watch that. I might watch that.
Starting point is 00:34:14 I've got a plan this weekend. I'm going to take mushrooms. Okay. I'm going to drink a little prune juice. I want this to get a big shit on mushrooms while watching Ben Stiller do heroin. It sounds like a great weekend, Brian. And you've got a copy of private eye to bring you down if you trip too much.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Yes. I'm tripping out. I need some British satire Bring you down slowly That sounds like a fun Yeah, best luck with that There's other people like Brian, please We're worried about you
Starting point is 00:34:47 I'm like shut up Oh yeah You're getting the old welfare checks Don't they really stick in your craw It's like hey Hey I'm doing just fine I don't need this Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:00 Back to Nazis Okay yeah So one episode is about his drug problem. I'm a small penis. Sure. Okay. And the next episode is about technology. Oh. And I didn't realize how bad
Starting point is 00:35:13 the Germans were technology. What? They actually were, the Nazis. Maybe the Germans in general, good with cars and stuff like that. Yeah. But the Nazis were actually pretty bad at it. And it's all because they're ego. So instead of just being like, we got a tank here that works. Yeah. Let's build
Starting point is 00:35:29 5,000 of these. Yeah. That's what all the other guys are doing. I was like, let's build those of tanks. They're always like, we need to build a bigger tank. And I was bragging like, oh, this tank's good. We're going to make even better one. So let's say there's like, I'm making up examples here. Let's say there's like a tank called the V1. Yeah. They make
Starting point is 00:35:45 the V2. But almost as soon as they bring out the V1, they're like, let's make it bigger. Yeah. And they're always talking about like, we're going to make a tank that's like the size of four tanks. Oh, yeah. It's a huge thing. But like... And we'll call it the V5. And we just skip over three and four.
Starting point is 00:36:02 It becomes V5. Yeah, but they make these tanks. They'd be one tank that was so big is this impractical it's all about like showing off so yeah maybe one tank like like like it would sink yes because it's so heavy yeah yeah straight away they're going through like really like harsh terrain and it's all very mucky and if it rains yeah it's stuck in the mode it couldn't cross bridges yeah because it was so heavy like even like just collapse even like a bridge that could keep like loads of you know a car could drive over no problem and record tank this one would like didn't you would drive the big tank over the bridge right
Starting point is 00:36:35 And it would collapse. And the soldiers have to, like, okay, we have to build a bridge now. Oh. Yeah, while the fucking, you know, while fucking, you know, Dunkirk is happening. You know, Tom Hardy's driving the plane around to,
Starting point is 00:36:46 like, build the bridge. Harry Stiles are swimming around in the paddling pool. Yeah. Just trying to clean the jizz out of his asshole. And even like... Simon Powell had quite a lot of volume. Let me tell you. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Even like the tanks, okay, like, let's say the V1, the V2, the V3. There's all these different. variations. So they're like, oh, let's make a better version of the V2 or whatever. It has a Blu-ray and a DVD player. And laser disc. Let's go retro, okay?
Starting point is 00:37:16 We have beta max in tanks so guys can watch Caddyshack's. It's very funny movie. It turns out it's Caddyshack too. No! But that's hard. So let's say a tank breaks. Yeah. For the Allies, it's like, okay, get a new tank part.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Yeah. But it's like, okay, we need a tank part, not for the V6, it's for the V7. Right. So, and then they have to keep, like, it's just harder. So it's just fucking up their means of production and they just have to, yeah, produce more different parts. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was all this, like, competition where there's guys coming to, like, I assume German businessmen where it was like, oh, I can make a better tank than them.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll make even better one. And they're planes as well. They kept, like, they kept, like, what they did a lot is like, we're going to build this. aren't we great and then they're going like how the fuck do we build this? Oh right.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Yeah, yeah. So they're like we're going to build it's going to be like a rocket that can go to the moon. Yes. But you can also
Starting point is 00:38:14 drive it underwater. Yeah. Oh, now we're cooking. It can literally go into the sun. I don't know if we can put Jews in the sun.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Hard enough for you. But they build all this stuff so stupid. They build one thing alright, it wasn't a plane it was just a missile with a cockpit so you get in the missile
Starting point is 00:38:42 so poor old Fritz has got a hop in the missile there's no directions to get back yeah yeah don't worry about that there's no wheels so they shoot you up okay and there's little wings so you glide
Starting point is 00:38:56 but there's no way to land without just crashing because it doesn't have any wheels yeah yeah so unless you find a big field, you can like scrape along the ground, yeah, and crash to a few cows. Yeah, or maybe like crash into a pillow factory or, yeah, yeah, a marshmallow field
Starting point is 00:39:13 or something. Yeah, it was, actually, that was a very interesting episode, just going through all, like, the... Now, how accurate is that, though, or is this just, like... No, they're showing real footage. Okay. This is interesting, they actually have a lot of the real... Another fun thing is the actual good guys
Starting point is 00:39:28 went off for NASA. The guys who were, like, a lot of the guys who were like, Warner von Braun. Yeah, they're watching this stuff being like, oh, that kind of plane. Okay, you guys do that. Yeah, cool. I was like, hello.
Starting point is 00:39:40 It just all goes, tits up. I'm over here, guys. A lot of the guys, when it was happening, were taking, like, I want a little bit in liability. Yes. And they were like, oh, you know what guys? You know, for the camps?
Starting point is 00:39:54 Maybe, like, you take all the credit for that. You understand in the background, yeah, yeah. Because a lot of them saw the writing on the wall. the kind of obviously the smarter ones knew because that's the thing about the Nuremberg rallies a lot of people don't realize very few people were actually like
Starting point is 00:40:11 there was maybe I think there was like five people executed like five Nazis and then maybe like I'm talking like 10 to 15 incarcerations like literally not even triple digits like literally it was I think less than 20
Starting point is 00:40:27 actually faced any real repercussions a lot of them more people got around rested for January 6th. Yes, literally. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Now, I heard that somewhere. I really hope that's true and I'm not just spouting off something from Stormfront.com. Draintheswap.I.e. Yeah, it sounds good, doesn't it? It's something I'm going to start saying
Starting point is 00:40:51 a house parties. Yeah, when I want to meet the chicks in the clothes, yeah, the Nuremberg rallies are not very many. Don't turn away from me. You big. You know, like, you're in the club, okay, and the music's too loud. It's like, excuse me, DJ, just turn it down for a minute. I got a fun fact. I'm going to take the mic for a minute. It's a fun fact.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Why don't you go have a spliff break? You're probably, you're drugs because you're mustard gas. You've probably got a weird cock. So you're a junkie who DJs for freak shows in a nightclub in Athlone. but yeah i don't know if that thing is true it's something i heard but literally the point is a lot of of the more clever ones saw the writing on the wall and they made their exit strategies well before the war came to a conclusion yeah so then operation paperclip obviously warner von brougham is the most famous example because then he
Starting point is 00:41:52 went on to like start nassau basically but like there are a lot of them that came over really high-profile dudes. And again, place into that thing I talked about earlier, but, like, um, the lot of Germany's migrating into America and, like, the CIA just being like a,
Starting point is 00:42:05 the new version of the SS, you know, a lot of that. And then obviously, like, South America, Argentina, like a lot of them went there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:13 And then you get into the Hitler's not dead and he lived in Argentina. And that's true, Ryan. That's 100% true. Well, they do cover something in this documentary as well. They show at one stage, and I will say,
Starting point is 00:42:24 don't explain this to all, they show footage of dead Hitler. Yeah? And I was like, I'm pretty sure there is a... They never found the body. Yeah, I was like, I'm pretty sure, isn't that whole thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:34 And I was looking this up, and I might double check this for the next episode, but from my Wikipedia, by the way, this is what, after I drank a full bottle of whiskey, but from... Honeycomb whiskey. Yeah, yeah. Which I'm pretty sure Nome Chomsky's not like this. Nome Chomsky's not like, yo, yeah, I'm pretty sure... Well, I don't know now for sure.
Starting point is 00:42:52 I'm pretty fucked up, I was off my teeth. Yeah. I'm pretty sure the Iraq War was bad. but I don't know yet. Don't quote me, dude. But there was something about like these Russian guys fake the video
Starting point is 00:43:07 of Hitler being dead for Russians. Really? It's like a propaganda thing. It's got like a guy to lie down with a mustache, be like, I'm so dead. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Wink, wink. And they have a footage of him. It's like handheld like the Blair Witch Project. Then big foot pops up, you know? Smoked a cigarette and Kubrick's filming the whole thing Yeah, I mean that's something I've always heard
Starting point is 00:43:32 That they never actually found the body Yeah, I think Russians took it And I don't know what they did with it I'd be mad if like just found his corpse Just knocking around Yeah, yeah Just like it's for sale like Bezos buys it Well they find so
Starting point is 00:43:48 Kind of like Hitler's corpse For years I heard about a Sopranos video And it's weird when you can't find stuff on the internet this stage. You expect to find everything. Yes. But I'm not joking. For years I heard about this thing where when LeBron James left the Miami Heat.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Yeah. No, sorry, sorry. The Lakers. No, no, no, no. No. He was with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Right. And he wanted to move teams.
Starting point is 00:44:17 To go to the Lakers? No, go to Miami. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, he goes to Lakers, Venschey. Oh, okay. Yeah. But he was kind of.
Starting point is 00:44:26 court in teams, like, oh, I wonder which team should I go to? Yeah, yeah. Oh, who's going to give me the most money? Exactly, right, right, right. And everyone was trying their stuff. Because he's a hot commodity. Yeah, he was the biggest star. He's still basically is the biggest star in basketball.
Starting point is 00:44:42 The New Jordan, basically. Yeah, basically, yeah. So everyone tried their best. Every team tried their best. And the New York Knicks, we're like, what do we have? How can we convince LeBron to come to our place? Yeah. LeBron like Sopranos, let's get the Sopranos.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Right. Let's get James Gandalfini. And Edie Falco. Yeah, yeah. And have them film a little sketch. Yeah. And describe the sketch, James. But my point is, sorry, and point is, for years I heard about the sketch they filmed.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Yes. I've listened to, I listened to a podcast about the Knicks during COVID. Yeah. And they actually have a guy who's like, we can't find a video. But I found a transcript. I'm going to reinstate. knack the transcript for you. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. I bet you were jizzing,
Starting point is 00:45:29 weren't you? Oh, I was like, oh my God. It's like seeing a new angle of JFK his assassination. You're like, oh my God. But describe, so my point is eventually discovered a video. Yes. Describe the new Sopranos video. My first takeaway, very cheap looking, very
Starting point is 00:45:45 poorly shot. It looks like it was, I mean, it's just like, it's very poorly lit. The composition's awful. It looks like dog shit. Very student film, vibes. But what's happening is in the narrative of this,
Starting point is 00:46:00 so Tony and Carmela Soprano are just in their kitchen. Tony's sitting down reading the paper. Carmella's over there and she's like oh, Tony looks like your friend LeBron wants to move to New York. It feels like an S&L sketch doesn't it? But like not even, like
Starting point is 00:46:16 you know, bad, mad TV. Yeah, the right, yeah, Mad TV more. Such low production value and like I can't imagine the more than one take it was a one and done Gandalfini does not want to be there I don't think he refused to shave
Starting point is 00:46:32 for it yes he was like I'm not going to shave for this yeah which you know if he's in witness protection that would be a good move oh yeah I think the point is there in witness protection yeah yeah yeah but again so yeah Gandalfin Tony's like yeah LeBron he's a good guy he's uh you know he's a classy guy
Starting point is 00:46:51 he's modern but he respects uh tradition And it's just like, oh, well, maybe he'll come to the... I don't even remember how it ended. Maybe he'll come to New York. He's like, well, he needs somewhere big to be... No, he needs somewhere big and the show like the... Madison Square Rock.
Starting point is 00:47:07 Yeah, exactly. He's like, hey, that might be a good place for LeBron to live. Yeah. Really? It was incredibly depressing to watch Brian. That was, that's, oh, not only did it. You're your favorite thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:22 But the only thing I've ever expressed, true love for you just ruined in one fail swoop so thank you for that but this is the New York Knicks are a fairly big team like this is like
Starting point is 00:47:37 they have connections to people with cameras and you know yeah people with lighting equipment like you think they put more of an effort in yes to get their big star in other places it looked awful other places produced whole cartoons
Starting point is 00:47:51 yeah for LeBron and they had like a big presentation that all the stars like California like L.A. did the whole thing I forget who but that's like the biggest names of time you know like I don't know like Larry David or not Larry like yeah like you know all these big guys
Starting point is 00:48:06 like hey it's me Ted Danson come to L.A. All the huge stars Yo was that Ted dancing oh shit I got to go to LA. It was Ted dancing but from the Whoopi Goldberg roast and then in comes
Starting point is 00:48:22 Howard Stern Whoopi you want big smelly boop. Oh, okay, well, I guess you're paying goods what's to come, but I didn't like the video. I'll be honest. I didn't like that shit. I was like, the story I heard is
Starting point is 00:48:38 for Miami. Didn't do any of that shit. Just underage prostitutes saying, I'm sold. No, it was I can't remember, it is late. But anyway, the guy who was running Miami time, he's one of the, he's one of the bases
Starting point is 00:48:54 is for Gordon Gecko, I think. Okay, right. But he walked in and just dropped, because he won a lot of rings before. Right, okay. He just dropped his rings on the table. Like, do you want these? Ah. And for some reason, that... That's pretty good. That convinced the bra and more than Tony's the Prano.
Starting point is 00:49:09 But that's thinking, Gandalfini looks so depressed. And the thing is, the paycheck that he got from that video, he used to buy the cocaine and martinis and steak dinners that led to him being faithful. down dead on the floor in some hotel in Rome
Starting point is 00:49:28 so thank you LeBron James for killing Dandelfini Yeah But anyway Hope you're proud yourself Enjoy your drinks tokens You have pieces of silver
Starting point is 00:49:45 But yeah I could see that one With the rings That's like you know it's it's understated Riley There's a sophistication to it It's also like, hey, you want to be the best. You've got to beat me. And that's going to, look,
Starting point is 00:50:00 LeBron is much like me. We're winners. We've got a winners mentality. We need it all. We will not stop. He wants to get all the rings. I want to get all the biscuits. I walk in, drop all the biscuits on the floor.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I like, do you want those? I just eat jabby Dodgers off the carpet, even after you've smushed them in with your foot. Yes, more, please. Oh, my goodness. What can we talk about next? We talked about Tarantino on the free one we talk, on the Patreon we talk about Tarantino.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Listen to the Patreon, guys. Can I say that? This is the Patreon, folks. Yeah, it was good. We got a new girl subscribe to the Patreon. A new girl? Yeah, yeah. What's her name?
Starting point is 00:50:50 I'm not going to... It's weird. I got a random message from a woman there. said, I saw you do comedy. I just wanted to say you're disgusting and funny. Oh, right, okay. I was expecting the last part. Yeah, well, that was the big show.
Starting point is 00:51:06 I think she made it as like a compliment, but you know, it's kind of weird. It's funny, because I got that message while I was watching Baby Rain Deer, which is a show about a sad comedian to get stalked by a mentally ill woman. Oh, and I had a prophetic dream as well. Oh, you want to talk about that?
Starting point is 00:51:24 Nah. You're teasing the audience. Well, I just had, it was weird. I had a dream where I was driving and I crashed my car. But a very notable detail from the dream was that both the wheels on the driver's side, so the front of back wheel on the driver's side were both damaged and punctured deflated. Then the very next day, on the anniversary mass of my father's death, by the way. Really?
Starting point is 00:51:49 Yes, yes, yes. That's why I was in Monaghan. Wait, when was that? On Monday. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I was back in Monon for that on Monday. I was watching Ghostbusters that day. Yeah, do you see my dad?
Starting point is 00:52:01 Who are you going to call? Daddy, please. Slimer? Yes, my dead dad is Rick Moranis. Anyway, so yeah. But then the very next day my brother crashed his car and both wheels on the driver's side were damaged inflated. But the other two wheels were fine.
Starting point is 00:52:23 and it's just a very interesting that would have that dream with that specific detail and the same thing would happen I'm not going all retarded fucking you know astrology I bet it's a decided from the universe
Starting point is 00:52:36 Have you ever had these premonition This is basically That's so Raven This that's so can Hell you That's so can Oh my lord
Starting point is 00:52:43 My brother don't crash his car I'm C And I'm Corey in the house But yeah it's just interesting It's an interesting little I don't think I've ever had any prophetic dreams
Starting point is 00:52:56 No, this is my first It's gonna be a start of it Maybe In that's so Raven it It would happen every episode Then she'd have to dress up In a funny costume Oh, hello
Starting point is 00:53:04 We saw me She probably did She probably had to do that at some stage Had to, it was in her contract We watched a little bit Actually a while ago Raven's house The spin-off
Starting point is 00:53:16 I didn't know What? Raven, not us I mean like my buddies Oh We all watched You're drinking buddy Yeah, yeah, turn the match off, would you?
Starting point is 00:53:26 Hey, fellas, come see how fat she got. Isn't she married to a woman now? I think she's lesbian, yeah, yeah. But it's weird, because we were watching the first, the pilot episodes of Ravens House. That's so gavin. Talked me a little bit longer than it should have, but... You've had a long day, man, you're going, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:45 It's like the end of a game, you know, you're going at, and near the end, you're going to like, oh, you're sweating, you know. I'm telling you that Patreon was fire. Yeah, yeah. And you didn't even like, you shouldn't have been during Gatorade after that. You were going hard. That was one of my better performances. I'll tell you what, I haven't been too bad on this one either.
Starting point is 00:54:01 You have not, no. And you've been good too. But only because I tell you what, I'm not very good to create any energy. Yeah. I suck the energy, all right? Yeah. You do something like, yes. Yeah. That's how improv works.
Starting point is 00:54:15 And then when you, we turn it off, you tell me all the things I did wrong. I have a list. Where do you get time? I saw your hands You've got like just some frumpy middle age Gaunt on the corner Just like doing those like Courtroom typists
Starting point is 00:54:34 What do they call those fuckers? Stenegrof Stenegrof Steneg what Oh no And that's why LeBron Didn't appreciate the Law and Order Sketch they did
Starting point is 00:54:47 Hey, what's the LeBron I'm the stenographer And take down all the words for your eyes. We don't have all the letters. I just push the buttons with the pictures and the words come out. It's cool. I have to say that Patreon
Starting point is 00:55:02 was very good now. Not to toot your horn too much now. But I think it is funny. You'll be doing something like, okay, yeah. Anyway, I also saw this. I also saw this. Yeah, so I like to read private eye and here's... Yeah. I just read through it
Starting point is 00:55:20 suddenly. well don't sell yourself short on the theatre the Patreon one you're reading a playbill program from upcoming theatre yeah so that was pretty good
Starting point is 00:55:35 I was saying there on the Patreon as well like so I'm going to see more plays yeah I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit and for a long time I would like watch a few bad movies and be like oh I talk with this on the on the show yeah but I really just don't have the energy
Starting point is 00:55:49 I watch bad movies now like I watched a thing a while ago It was called Class of 1999. It's like a kind of, I think it's the area 2000's kind of like schlocky kind of horror movie about where like there's schools where the kids are really rough to send robots in to teach the kids. Oh.
Starting point is 00:56:08 I was like, oh, this would be funny. I watch it, it's like, well, is this shit. Like, no, people making it know what's shit. So like, what's the point? I'm like, oh, James, it's so crazy. Yeah, yeah. I was like, and it was annoying. So it's called Class 99.
Starting point is 00:56:21 It turns out it's a secret. to a movie. And one of the fun facts I saw was like, the sequel contains no nudity, but the previous one contained loads of nudity. I was like, oh, great. No, new... The robots don't get naked.
Starting point is 00:56:36 It's like when I invests in Bitcoin. I was like, oh. The robots come in and teach them about consent. I could have watched porkies with robots, but instead of watching fucking... It was in Malcolm McDowell. It's funny, Malcolm McDowell was in the sequel to the
Starting point is 00:56:52 movie. Really? Yeah, yeah. Malcolm MacDell's career is so funny. Look at all the movies he's being in. Yeah, man. You work with Kubrick, man. He's like, yes, and now I mean, class of 99. I mean, he's had like two, oh no, I suppose gangster number one was kind of well received, wasn't it? I never heard of
Starting point is 00:57:08 that. It's like him and Paul Kay. Oh, I don't know, it's kind of like a weird, like British gangster film, but it's quite artsy. I remember thinking it was pretty cool. I didn't even heard of that, yeah. Gangster number one. He was in Caligula. Of course. Yes,
Starting point is 00:57:23 which I've also never seen, but heard was pretty cool. I've heard they're doing a restoration of it and people, it's getting a critical
Starting point is 00:57:30 re-evaluation. Wasn't it all like unsimulated orgies? So I think they... They're all fucking. It went through a lot of different phases. I think originally they wanted to do
Starting point is 00:57:38 like a very classy film but with sex scenes in it. But then like, I think they lost funding and then some guy was like, I'll fund it for you. Yeah. They gotta be fucking for real.
Starting point is 00:57:49 Oh, you gotta put the... Take that car and show it. up her eyes. Showing up, MacDowell's ass. He's like, oh, I say, Choubrick never did this. He took a lot of takes, I suppose.
Starting point is 00:58:02 A bit of the old, in-out, in-out. Video, madrugie-wo. Oh, stop talking like a fucking queer and fuck her in a twine. Oh, dear heavens. Who's the director of Caligulae? It's some guy who got shot pretty soon afterwards. Let me look up. I'm not even
Starting point is 00:58:20 joking. Oh, that's a harsh review. I tell you, back then, Roger Ebert wasn't fucking around, was he? You got to make a name for yourself something. The jaunist assassin. Yeah, it's directed by, oh, give me a second here, guys, sorry. Sorry. Oh, Tito Brace? Who's this?
Starting point is 00:58:36 I have no idea. Never mind. Tito. Yeah. I'm just saw a picture of Tito with a very young woman who's his wife. Awesome. This Tito, by the way, he looks about 89, and she looks about nine. Yes, he was shot dead by her first husband
Starting point is 00:58:56 Yeah Anyway I don't know I don't know I'm looked up Tito now Alright that's not We're at the Let's just wrap it up here
Starting point is 00:59:03 We're at the hour I might watch Caligula Yeah It's pretty interesting Yeah Screenplay by Gore Vidal Whoa
Starting point is 00:59:09 Yeah What the hell They want to be like a classy Oscar Kind of like we're gonna push I think they want to make It's going to be sexual But it's gonna be real good
Starting point is 00:59:17 It's like Yeah Yeah And interesting Again, like, kind of around the, what was it, like 60s, 70s? Oh, yeah, so it is, sorry, 79, rock drama, and they lost funding, so then along came Bob Giusecchio, founder of Penthouse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's like, I know how to make you picture work.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Nice. Wait, is that, no, sorry, that's hustler. Larry Flint was hustler. Don't get your pornographers mixed up, James. Sorry, I'm an idiot. You were going so well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, man, like, there's a lot of those, like, 70s movies
Starting point is 00:59:55 that are just, like, full-blown, just sexploitation, just like, yeah, they were all real nine-year-olds, and they're all really crying, and, yeah, every inch I gave them. It's all tour theory, yeah, yeah, man. Like El Toppo, what was that con called, Jordowowski? Yeah, Jodowowski, yeah. Just a pedo who raped the woman on camera, and the Beatles loved it.
Starting point is 01:00:17 That's proper cinema is that. I thought you lads were all puffs, but that were great. When you smacked her in the gob and shoved you knob, I'm up her own. Oh, I loved it. Fun little fact where we go. Caligula was, for some reason, it was broadcast on French TV with full unsimulated sex scenes. It was the first unsimulated sex scene on French television. Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:41 And it was so popular that a star tradition where every month they show a full-on pornographic film at midnight. Oh. It's like, you know, remember the bit of it. big, big movie in Ortees. I'll be back. Don't eat my pizza. Yeah. I'll be back. Don't eat my pussy. Oh!
Starting point is 01:01:00 Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're over there. Yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff. Hey. Brooklyn, great. I'm not until 12 tomorrow, but I've got to do some refunds. Oh, yes. Yeah. Won't talk about that. A show didn't go well.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Which one? I got to do refunds. I got to just double check to see who's on the show Sunday. Yeah. Confirm with some people and all that. Cancel some others. Unless they can convince me otherwise.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Use your powers of persuasion, Gary. You want to stay on the show? You got to make Mr. Caton happy. It's showbidge, baby. Baby reindeer. That's where I go.
Starting point is 01:01:51 something Gary has a show on Netflix. His Edinburgh show. That first time he did the racist voice, I laughed but only from peer pressure. I knew in that moment of weakness I was giving into colonialism and fear.
Starting point is 01:02:09 And yet, I laughed as the drunken slobber dribbled down his fat cheeks and the sweat beamed from his beetroot face. And he did, be such a ching-chong-tiderman oh I laughed
Starting point is 01:02:24 and a nation weeped epilogue I'm going to end there I'm going to go down and watch some more fallout all right I'm going to get the laptop out and do like boring work while watching the nuclear apocalypse show Fallout seems pretty good so far
Starting point is 01:02:41 It looks pretty good yeah yeah so I watch that we'll have fun yeah I think you're going to do next anything fun coming up uh no i'm gonna start uh i need to start getting a plan in action i would love to see you uh get uh like a like a tour guide job yeah you want me to be another tour tits and teeth poor guide like you i'm like you gonna oh yeah if you want to go
Starting point is 01:03:06 dressed like that you can yeah come on show a bit of skin you know got to make a customer appy you make me do the whole thing on roller skates oh well the first famine was a very difficult time in our country I'm wearing like a sparkly onesie I'm on roller skates in a big like 70s Afro wig and like giant
Starting point is 01:03:31 colored glasses do the hustle do do do it do it did it da da da da da da da da da let's end it there guys all right well back next week guys all right good luck goodbye

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