Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 226 : CMAT and CLARKSON

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Kalab Cadden comes over to the gaff and Brian loves CMAT.

Uh, it sucked me in and sucked me off. Yeah, yeah, enough about that. Uh, let's talk about Clarkson's Farm. We were watching a minute, Clarkson's Farm. You put it on. I was like, what the fuck is this sheep blood? Put on some mad Grim and ting, you get me? I was like, oh, this is shit and boring, and I don't want to walk.

I'm like, well, no, Clarkson's Farm, James. No, he's racist. He was mean to a BBC producer. No. James, be quiet. Watch this. He fought by hero, Pierce Borg. the only real journalist left.

Imagine those two guys fighting it. It's definitely like, could you hear like, oh, in a fight and it's like, oh, it's punching him. He was punching him. It was like, blood everywhere. And they were like, leave it out, clocks. And it was like, oh, you're lucky my mates. My look at, you know, James.

Like, stop it, stop it, please, you know. Richard Hammond, it's like, no, you kill him, please. You're lucky my mate, stop me, all right? But probably it's just like them pushy to her. And it's like, they're rubbing towards man boobs getting to her. It's like, oh, just chase him. thing, stop, stop, please. So it's probably not as manly

as he expects. I didn't expect it to be very manly, but I'll be honest, I haven't given much thought to it. Seems like you've really ruminated over this quite some time. I hire a young boy to reenact it. I'll be Clarkson. I'm always Clarkson.

Yeah, so Clarks is far, but I was kind of like, ah, fuck, I don't want this is boring, but it got me. You are fucking into it. You weren't blinking. I need a piss bucket right next to me And it really gets you because it's fucking stupid It's all fake

It's like, you know, Airy Top Gear We'd always be like, we're going to have Erdy Top Gear is so funny He was like, look at a caravan It's fucking disgusting Fucking people Well, if you can call them that But people actually live in that thing

And then he'd be like, let's make kippers in there And then the next thing you burn it down and be like, Jeremy, what you do? And it's like, oh, it's smelier than an Indian in there. Oh, it's like a Turkish bathhouse in there. Well, yes, so Clarkson, good to see he's doing well. Yeah. He's got a, you know, age-appropriate milf wife.

I don't like that part. And a Mongoloid sidekick, Caleb the retort. Yeah, Caleb is quite funny because Caleb's like, basically some boy to found. Kind of like what I do, actually. They find these boys You're gonna be a star About your Caleb, am I? No

I didn't say that at all, you know Oh, dear I got defensive there You couldn't farm like Caleb No, I couldn't Much to my father's dismay Ah, well Am I to blame

Perhaps Perhaps if I were a bit more like Caleb Maybe things would have Worked out better But hey Every day is a new you know, a chance for rebirth and growth. But yes, Clark's is farm.

I do love, it's all these little missions as well. So it's like, and you get sucked in, like you said. So it's like, we've got to build a fence to stop the pigs running out in the motorway. And then they're building a fence. And you're like, oh, God, is Clark's going to build a fence? Yeah. And they have like his wife there in high heels be like, oh, what do I do? Yeah.

And she's falling over. He's like, that bloody woman is. And you're like, you're right, Clarkson. What's she doing? Just wear a short skirt. your bloody minge is on display. Caleb, don't look at it. I'm sorry, Clarkson, I couldn't help it.

Man, but it is a huge show. Yeah. Like, all over the world. Clarkson's Farm, it's like one of the biggest shows on Amazon. Yes. Which is quite funny because Amazon, they spent like a billion dollars

doing the Lord of the Rings TV show. What was that, Rings of Power? Yeah. And no one liked it, no one watched it. And then it's fine Caleb. They just found him face down in a ditch Just like shit kicked around his ass Because he doesn't know how to wipe properly

Say hey are you Come and work on this farm While a Brexit loving racist Tory Cunt hurls abuse at you And he's drunk 24-7 And he has got for eating too much pheasant Well it's funny though Because the whole thing is about like how

he goes to the farm, he's like, this is crazy. What, piglets come out with pigs? What the hell? But then he slowly falls in love, quotation marks of the farm. And every now and again, it's like, you know what, I love this farm. This is like a family, you know. Caleb, you're like the retarded son I never had. You're like the retard son I should have aborted, Caleb.

Well, thank you, Daddy. Don't call me that. Don't call me that. And he's always like, oh, oh, I actually have to go to London there. Yeah. a big party, but I'd rather be here in the pig shit with you, Caleb. Caleb, when you want to go to the party?

Ah, it's all, you know, uh, it's all these, you know, dukes and the King Charles be there. You wouldn't be interesting. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you, you'll give you a special job. Take this shovel and clean my shit. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like a little holiday for yourself, you know. See how the other half live for a while. Um, do you actually, it's so big, Rishi Sunak is desperate now. Okay, he's doing the hard pivot. No, no, no, no, no, I'm going to mention it. So he's, the election's going on

now. Yeah. And they got Caleb up. They sent for Caleb. Do I get me Caleb? Yeah. They did a photo shoot with Caleb. Look, we need a conservative party. We need the Tories. We love Caleb and Caleb loves us. And Caleb's like, get away from me. There's so many bright lights

and dark people. Oh, I don't like London. literally Caleb had only been London once before apparently he took the bus up and he never got off the bus he was like I don't like this I just like turn around

he took one look of modern London he was like no he saw Trafalgar Square that was enough for him he just saw a poster of storms he was like no turn around and it's funny as well

Caleb's like 24 years old he's got two kids now yeah they're on season three he's had two kids and like when they found him he was like a young boy and now he's basically a man and now he's getting more cocky now yeah so it started off he's like what do mr Clarkson yeah and you do that now oh oh I think we should uh put the tractor over there like oh Caleb you silly sausage instead of planting soyab beans let's plant jelly

beans so there be a jelly bean tree yay what if we gave the cows chocolate milk now he's like now season three Caleb's like no the moisture content's all wrong Clarkson it's 3.7 not 3.4 I don't like the fucking content The pH level of this soil is just not up to scratch Clarkson get the finger out and do a bit of work and the producer's like we don't like this now

Caleb's gotten too powerful he's to replace Caleb as a new Caleb and they all just react no one like woke casting it's just like some trans muslim in a wheelchair oh, Caleb well you're doing your

best I suppose I have to say I do like it now and does Clarkson he is a scarecrow does he put a burke on the scarecrow I'm like well it terrifies me so because he's racist Brian not me

that's the gag there man he gets away with so much murder he's so he he's so popular and every now and again the things are like you know like for the BBC every now and again he'd be like oh this is as fun is killing a prostitute and the BBC be like please don't say stuff like yeah on a car show oh god this car is even more shit than the entire country of Romania yeah like maybe don't say that you know what I like about this car no matter how many Ukrainian refugees

children you run over you can just get one little rinse of the hose and it gets away of all the skull fragments and flesh and leather interior yeah but like seat warmers are like that but then like uh like and every now and again

it'd be like just kind of like early days of the kind of the press be like shock horror offensive outrage that's funny now because now like all those like Tory newspapers are like um GB news yeah like you know it can't say nothing these days.

Back in the day, they're always like, Peter K, offensive garlic bread material. You're like, we need to ban Peter K. They're trying to get like Frankie Boyle, like, you know, like, I'm so old, my pussy's haunted. He said, yeah, the queen, her pussy's

so old, it's haunted, yeah. He needs to be arrested and execute. Yeah, he needs to be brought to the egg at once. He needs to be executed by the queen and her haunted pussy. Yeah. But now,

um, what was my point? there. Oh yeah, but now my opinion is like, so... They've done a flip-flop and they're like, yeah, Clarkson, you tell him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. Greta Thunberg is a stupid con. But, like, he punched that producer and they fired him and he got a new job like in like half an hour. Yeah.

He's like, got an Amazon contract, right? And then there's all these little things. I remember, um, was it Megan Markle who's like she deserves to be spanked and walk down the street naked while people throw shit at her big tits? Wow. I said that. Really? No, he literally said that.

He was like, they should reenact the thing from Game of Thrones. You know, to walk around. Shame. Yeah. So because,

why? I forget. Even in the article's like, I don't know why, but I feel like that would be quite a good thing to do. It would bring the country together. Yeah.

Yeah. He'll a fractured nation. And Amazon are actually like, they're so offensive. We're not going to work with Jeremy Clarkson again. And then that lasts for like a day and they're like, actually no.

Yeah. We need more Caleb. Yeah. They try to get the Caleb show going and Caleb was out. The spin-off. Caleb moves to Los Angeles to make it as an actor.

It turns out Clarkson owns the, like Joey. Yeah. It turns out Clarkson owns the rights to Caleb so they have to get Clarkson back. Caleb is Clarkson's intellectual property. Yeah.

Yeah, Caleb is actually, I like Caleb a lot. It's so funny, the amount of young ones I know. I know so many like, um, 18-year-old that, like, are always like... Well, at least they'll be 18 pretty,

pretty soon. Most of them. By the time Clarkson's Farm 6 comes out to me. Okay. But they're like, I love Caleb. I love Clarkson's farm and I'm like, yeah, who you think the Stig was? They're like, what? You know, from Top Gear, what's Top Gear? You're a Pido. Get away from me.

Oh, yeah. The Stig. Yeah. Man, I love Dirty Top Gear. It's funny. Did you? I fucking hated Top Gear. Seriously. and I hated the people that liked it Oh my God I knew so many people

that I go to their house and had a cool wall A cool wall? Remember on Top Gear at a cool wall for cars? No Oh so in Top Gear I did not like Top Gear

So explains a lot Oh God I was more about Topqueer Yeah Sorry Well that was your implication So

I was just bringing Your prejudice to the circle Brian, you like to cower in the shadows, but I'm bringing you to light. But, like, I knew a family that I went over there, okay, and on the show, Top Gear, the cool

wall, and to talk about a car, I'm like, oh, the new Hyundai, uh, uh, Hyundai, uh, Hyundai, that's a car brand. Yeah, and I, like, yeah, high on die, I 10, cool or not cool. And he'd be like, you know, James may be like, I think it's cool. And then Clark's

like, shut up. It's not cool. Yeah. Don't ever talk to me again, you fucking work. Yeah. So, like, and then Hammond, what do you think? That was before the crash. He's just eating cabbage through a straw. Blah! Yeah.

Oh, geez, I remember when he crashed? That was my 9-11. I remember being in school and be like, no, no, but the boys. The principal, like you were called to the principal's office. We just got some bad news, Brian. And then they showed the clip on Top Gear. It's like, you drive like a bloody Pakistani. They were like roasting them for it, weren't they?

They were like busing his chops. Yeah. I didn't know Hammond was an Asian name. Because they're racist. Not me. Let that be very clear. At the record show. Yeah.

But, you know, I like there in Top Gear. I actually had a few DVDs. of it. Of course you did. They're like the best of moments, like the best of on one DVD, that's impossible. Yeah. I'm like, what was it, they like went to Tennessee. What was the thing? So it used to, so Top Gear's interesting because it used to be like a, hello there, my name's David Nicholson and we're going to talk about cars. Is this car cost effective? Yes. It was like that. Yeah, yeah. It's a very good car, but unfortunately, it's a little bit expensive. So I wouldn't recommend it was like very boring right it was like kind of country file that kind of

yeah yeah oh what a nice car and then i think it got cancelled or is but they got cancelled then there's a young brash whippersnapper called clarks yeah and they got him on like howard stern man he just comes in yeah he was like what if he rode the car like a simian yeah that's not no uh yeah well if we bring on a fat heroin addict and he passes out in the front street no you have jane's there yeah but he was like immediately like this car is the best the world. And that was like his kind of whole stick, you know.

I get so much bloody minge when I drive this motor out town. And it was a weird phase where it was like there was like two worlds and one

where it was like still like the people were like okay, that's a nice car there and now a little part about tire density and they talk about and they're like

over to you Clarks and he was like yeah well I'm driving this car and I'm getting gnoshed off by a bird I feel like a black man Yeah, I'll just do a

fucking line to sniff off the steering wheel And his fucking slag sucks me fucking cock He doesn't talk with that of course What part of England is he from? He's more like He literally lives in the same Road as like David Cameron And like, like did he go to Eaton probably?

I don't know where. he went out. I'm not going to bother Google. It's weird. He definitely, like, his whole shtick is like working class man, but he's a rich posh, white. Yeah, yeah. It's all an act. It's like, yeah. I think, like, um, he's wearing jeans while

presenting the BBC. My God. He's a revolutionary. There is, literally, people's like, he's wearing jeans and, like, their monocle falls off, but, oh, I got to watch more. It's like, you know, Howard Stern, like, the more you're discussing, the more you're like, yeah, yeah. I'm going to watch more. Don't show, tell,

tell my wife about it. And then it just became the Clarkson show and he got his friends on and then it became the three guys that we all know. We all know and love. The Hammonds, the maize and the Clarksons. And it was just a car view show where they talk about cars and always be like to talk about the most hyped up

Ferraris and they never talk about like, you know, what a normal guy could afford. I used to always think it was such a pussy thing that they'd be like, they only talk about cars that people can't afford. It's not fair. What about a local bin man? He can't afford a Ferrari. not fit. He pays his TV license

and it's like, who cares? Did he just car can't get any faster? Guess what? It can't. Yeah. And it's like, you're like, they hit the nose and then they just go flying. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It doesn't matter if you're waiting by an inch or a mile. But then did one special, I think it was the American

special first, went to America. Yeah. And that was the one where like they post They went a little, like, you know, the kind of viral clip was they wrote different things to use cars, like, you know, man love okay, I love Hillary. All right.

And then people like, you can't, you can't be around here and that on your car. Hey, buddy, right here. If you're going to be a TV presenter, you wear slacks, not jeans,

you goddamn hippie. Sought off, you bloody nuns. And then it became like did the Antarctic special in the desert special and all these probably They drove around snowmobiles and it said Eskimos are gay

on it, you know And a lot of this stuff Like it's probably all fake We're like Yeah, of course They're like, you know It's like we drove to the North Pole

In a fucking Honda Civic And in a Volkswagen They're just on like A fucking BBC studio set We're like that fucking Oh probably on the Doctor Who soundstage man

You know Yeah Chris Vexing the background you know and like I'm just there like whoa they drove to North Pole oh my God oh man

I watched that repeatedly I remember like literally I'd be like so excited like oh Dave we're going to do repeat of the Antarctic special yeah that's my night sordland oh fuck I'm gonna skip the Debs

because I wasn't invited I'm watching the Antarctic special again and then I think I stopped watching after a while there's one where they went to Vietnam remember the Vietnam one were like oh there's a lot of slopes in Vietnam oh really?

Yeah they made that joke like nine times Clarkson loves little jokes like that Yes he does But then I said it went to Amazon And then I think the Grand Tour was their follow up I think it's over now So yeah the Grand Tour The Grand Tour essentially you're like

We're going to stop all this like car review shit and just do like... Wacky stuff? Yeah, just do like, oh, what if we all have to drive with, like, uh, it was something like, you know,

what if you had to drive a car full of coconuts from Swansea to Norwich? No, kind of wacky stuff like that. Right, right, right. There's no way they can do that and they do it. Yeah, I stop watching it there,

but maybe, you know what? Things aren't going very well for me. Maybe I'll start watching it again, yeah. What, top gear, go back to the... Back to the very stars. Back to your road. Span, you know?

There was one stage there during COVID I'll listen to Clarkson, one of the Clarksons' audiobooks. Okay. It's a collection of his Sunday Times columns from 2003. Right. And it's so funny because it's all like,

almost sexual marriage shouldn't be allowed. It's full on just that stuff. Yeah. And it's like, anyone else? It's almost like, you know, like Snoop Dogg? People just like, you know, whatever, like Snoop Dogg, like, didn't he get, wasn't there, like, allegations against Snoop Dog

and like criminal convictions? and stuff. It's like, ah, it's just Snoop Dog. He murdered someone, but he got off. He used to think, like, ah, it's Snoop Dog, though. It was self-defense. And then Clarkson's the British Snoop Dog. He can do anything. He's like, ah, it's just Clarkson, though. Oh, he said interracial

marriage made him sick. Ah, it's just Clarkson. He didn't say that, though. Yeah, yeah. But I say, he could say it like anything he wants, you know? And he's like, ah, look. Because his fan base, his demographic, they love all that stuff. He's so nice to Caleb, though. How could I stay mad at him? He's really not, though. It seems like,

Caleb is just some Yeah Like is it actually Caleb's land And like his parents died And he inherited it all Then Clarkson comes in That was so funny if it's like It's like a salt burn situation

Yeah exactly And just like kind of takes over I'm a I worked in London So I know how farming works Yeah And uh Well I get to meet Richard Hammond

Somond someday yes But first of all suck it Yeah It's just how you make it in farming Polish mine all Yeah But I'm gonna much more Clarkson's farm. I think it's good.

Someone made a good point on a radio a while ago where they're saying that it's actually teaching a lot younger people about farming. Okay. It's actually doing a good kind of a civic duty, you know? Because a lot of people are like... Why do young people need to learn about farming if they didn't grow up on a farm? It's the most important job in the world. If they don't have any

land, they can never benefit from it. If you don't have land, then you have no skin in the game. Well, surely, like to know where you're food? Every day you wake up and eat a big carrot. Yeah. Where is... Where is carrot come from? A big genetically modified carrot.

Probably on hormone blockers. I didn't like, so we watched an episode there. This carrot identifies as spinach, yeah? Clark said, you've done it again. I didn't like watch one episode there. Clarkson hires like two DJs to come along and talk about like, we're going to disrupt the farming system. They're all about regenerative farming.

Have you heard about before? No. I didn't like this idea I haven't got to Google it to see if it's real or not but basically while I was growing up men were men

and women and women oh fuck I spilled my toffy Oh yeah fucking don't be cut Clarks that's pure Caleb vibes there

it's giving Caleb Clarks I wouldn't do that I'll wipe in a second and my point is I'm not as growing up a barley fielded barley and a wheat fielded weeds but these young

fucking probably fucking cocaine addicts fucking Kendall Roy cunt show up like actually a field you can't control a field so you should just

everything because you should have carrots turnips and wheat in the field all at once and that's better and that you know those ideas

scare me in a way well they should the modern world scares me because I have my set you know I'm always like oh shut up old man

you know people can be any gender you want okay man go vote PBP go fuck yourself dude

eat the rich you're stuck in the past and I just see if something about farming I'm like no Well, it's because you're you're becoming the old geyser now, Brian. Your youth is slipping away.

I'm such an old geyser. Man, will I be hanging out like, you know, when I be hanging out with my friends and they're all watching Bluey? You know, it's just the worst play yet I've ever been to. Come on, who wants to do some ketamine? Get in a k-hole with me. Oh, by the way, Bluey is coming to Dublin. the Australian cartoon. Yeah. They're doing a live

show. James. Bluey on ice? We got to go see Bluey. Yeah. It's in the gaiety. Man, we're in here. We're going to be so funny. Bluey on ice, and we smoke crystal mess. I'll fucking love Bluey. I'm not a fucking drago, mate.

I think that would be so funny and definitely not sad if we went to that. Man, if we show up to Bluey, just the two of them. us will be on the register we're in trench coats they call him mine hey don't don't show for blueie tomorrow blueie bullied

bullied me every day yeah then I pulled out my shotgun and I blewie the big hole in his face yo blueie check up my shardy brough it's such a dumb thing but you know like the pictures of me

after blue I got my look at James Holmes. I got my hair dying. Oh, fuck, you know. What is my point there? Bluey, there was no actual victims. They're all crisis actors. Alex Jones.

He gets, he's filed for bankruptcy again. There's bloody shooting is bullshit. It'd be so funny if he like, another school shooting happens. He does the exact same. Alex Jones is exact same. Well, here's the thing. They've took everything from him.

If I was him, I'd be like, you know what? I'd take it back. It was fake. Fuck you. Wait, so wait, can you explain to me? Because I haven't been following too much. What happened to Alex Jones recently? I saw him crying there on internet.

I think it's just now, like, they're just really going after him financially. So obviously he lost that court case. But now they're starting to really act on it. Like, so they are basically taking all of his earnings and he has to shut down operations of Info Wars. So can I still watch Info Wars? every day. Only if you

recorded them on VHS like I advised you to because I knew this was coming. Guess what James? I did. Good, good. Yeah, no, I again, I haven't been following it, but there was just a clip of him crying and then

you know, all those left wing communist scum commenting, ha ha ha suffer bitch and all that stuff, you know? These liberals say you shouldn't be mean. Yeah.

oh what happened to be kind you know what they're not tolerant of the intolerant yeah there you go well there's a bit right there uh whoa take that to the stage uh uh no no but anyway clarkson's you think that's real by the way him crying or is that just like a kind of who knows who knows man i mean like everyone you know a lot of people would say he's just controlled opposition so you know who says that oh the cool dudes that i hang out with you show me hanging out those cool dudes right Hang out with me all the Oh my God What do you do?

Oh no Oh this is great You were giving me shit When I spilled all the coffee My penis And I pissed myself And now look at you Dropped your phone

Oh I pissed myself But anyway So Clarkson's farm Yeah I've seen the appeal now I'm gonna watch more of it You should do

I'm not That's fine I'm not gonna stop you Well I'm allowed Because I got a gun You're like OJ Simpson

driving around in the Ford Bronco with a gun to your head I need to go home and watch Clarkson's farm you know who this is God damn it have Caleb

talking me on a megaphone Brian it's me Caleb you have to come anyway what else I was going to say so I was trying to segue

very cleverly into Sunak there and I got distracted so the election's going on in the UK and basically have been following the election in the UK

Not at all, not in the slightest. Basically what they're all saying, what all the guys in the pub and the chat rooms say is that it's a slam dunk, Labour are going to win. Okay. And all the Tories are doing, they're trying to lose with a little bit of like...

Dignity? Dignity, but also like they're announced all these things now that they know they'll never do. Yeah. But then when they lose, they're like, oh, we would have done this. We said we're going to do this. And, oh, you didn't vote in you?

Yeah. We said we're going to end poverty and bring in national service. and all this stuff and 12 inch dicks for every man, woman and child and you pissed it all the way good for you

and now we're going to vote for Keir Starmor who's a very detestable person Is that right? Absolutely. I do not like him at all How so?

People would hit him with the stick that he's like very much a labour sellout he's a sellout to a labour party where he's just

basically a Tory essentially and he's appealing to a Tory base and the bit that I didn't like is there's a woman, I forget her name now, apologies. I think her name's like Fasma or Captain Fasma or something like that

or like Fatima or I don't know, whatever name is, okay? Yeah. But the point is, Fat man scoop. Fat man scoop. Fat man scoop is a... All the chicken and eggs, be quiet.

So let's see, Fat Man Scoop is a female Muslim labor politician, okay? and she liked a John Stewart video about Israel And because of that She was fired from Labour Party Good

And as well she should be The annoying thing was The John Stewart video Wasn't even like Like lately it'd be a bit more critical of Israel and Netanyahu It was a video from like 2014 I think

And the whole joke was He mentions word Israel And then people pop up from both sides the desk, being like, what are you going to say? And he's like, uh, it's a complicated issue. Yeah, they both like, hmm. Pretty tam. Pretty tam.

And she liked that. He is Jewish, isn't he? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His name's like, I like it. Sometimes, like, it's a, part of the very common time when people are giving grief. Like, like, yeah, Mr. John, uh, Stuowitz. Me, yeah. My name is George Stoerwistham.

No, it isn't. It's just John Stewart. Yeah. It's funny because, like, I think nowadays people are a little bit more aware of this, but, like, even, like, not too long ago, people in Fox News be like, yeah, John, his name's not even Stuart.

It's some Jewish name. Yeah. Not to be any Semitic or anything, but it's a dirty Jewish name, and then he can puke. He's not John Stewart. He's Staun Jewart. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You heard it here first, folks.

And that's the no spin zone. But, um, point is, she like this, And they fired her. And apparently she came out afterwards and she was like, she was getting a lot of like, what she claimed to be like, anti-Islamophobic grief from the party.

Yeah. And they were like, if you talk with this. It's a very funny way to, Islamophobic grief. Hate crime grief. Oh, I'm getting bloody grief. I am. Trouble and strife.

But what were they saying, sir? Basically she was saying, like, I'm getting a lot of, like, abuse. Yeah, yeah. And labor, like, don't talk with this because it makes the party look bad that we can't stand up for you? Right. She's like, can you stand

up for me? He's like, no. No. Yeah. And she was saying, it's like a double standard because they fired Jeremy Corbyn for anti-semitism. Because he like, you know, looked at mosque once. Yeah, yeah. It was real like, you know. He had a falafel and said it was all right. Yeah, it's like real David

Bedeel bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Fucking Rachel Riley. Yeah, yeah. That beautiful big-titted coat. I love you, you whore. And David Badeel. that beautiful big tit of blackface cunt you know about his black face, don't you?

Oh, of course. Come on. Yeah, sorry, you're talking to here. Let me be like, do you know Alex Jones, do you? You're in the dojo, my friend. But, and then there's a few other fucked up things about labor as well, just kind of like the way to deal with people.

They have a friend, labor, what's the team name of the party? Sorry, I think it's like, labor's friends with Israel. It's like a section of the party. It's all about how much you love Israel. Right. And funny, he says, all the people in it are not Jewish.

Yeah. And they're all like, you're no fucking Jew. Oh, you fucking, you won't end, you want to, you want hell, Gaza, or ate you, or ate you, or eight you. I'm more Jewish than you or is, you know. See you, you fucking slag. What else are you going to do on a Sunday? Sit in your fucking armchair waking off the Pop Idol.

Fuck that for a laugh. Fucking shout my shabbers away. love it yeah yeah it's like they're very Totnam away

would have worked because they're the Yids yeah sorry Brian I'm sorry no worry don't worry I try

no worry come on you Spurs yeah yeah yeah well as with that also people always make fun of fucking Keir Stamor

because he kind of talks like a robot he actually makes like Sunak look like Russell Brand you know you know

because Sunak is so like yeah, well, we did this and they're high but they're not as high as they could be so here, you know, it's like that whereas like, here's damage

proper like, I am happy to he's more like Al Gore like he's like any question he asks like my father was a carpenter my mother worked in a factory I care about British people. Is that true?

Yeah, he always says that no matter what he always says my father worked as a carpenter my mother worked in a factory, trade. So how did he get to be where he is then? Boots fucking deal with the devil, pal. He pulled his bootstraps up. Yeah,

I bet he did. Whereas like Sunak, he lived a fuck he's so rich. He's like man, his wife is like a billionaire I think. Yeah? Man, his wife is he's pretty rich as well. Like, but they're loaded and all their money's outside of the UK. He probably gets mad pussy. They call him

Rishi Poonak. Oh, that's good. Oh my God. Oh my God. What? What can we do with that now? Merch. We got to think of merch. Well, he's talking to me Prime Minister, Sue Williams.

Oh, we gotta hurry up. We had years of... Well, it took me years to finally concoct this perfect, you know, like, you know, Beethoven writing a symphony, you know? I went deaf

halfway through. This is Poonak! Yeah. Well, they're also giving them Soonak shit. He had a few blunders during this election now. Really?

First big blunder. Well, there's small enough blunders one, like he did a press conference at the Titanic. You're like, oh, your party's like a sinking ship. Instead he was like, no, it's not. I'm the king of the world. Like one of your French girls, yes?

Yeah. What? And then he was in Wales there He was like, you guys excited for the Euro rose We didn't qualify That's hilarious I love it though A lot of politicians

It's funny because for some reason Posh people in the UK Seems to not like football at all Yeah So they always have to pretend Because that's what the plebs do Yeah but like That's just entertainment for the proletariat

While the Roman Empire sit upon their throne Feasting like Nero and the mongolides are like you were like I might be everything who qualified this season you fucking brain dead Mongoloid dog sorry I was telling you there I was talking to a guy a while ago

not to be mean here okay it was a guy who used working paddy power and did have a guy who had like a mental issue with coming and bet on Everton like he had Down syndrome okay and like he'd bet on Everton we assumed that as soon as you said

put a bet on Everton That was implied And he'd always take his money Yeah Apparently they have no moral I thought they're a bit Scruples and Paddy Power You're not

Well I can't wait for the festival I can't take it Oh yeah A friend of ours Is doing it actually A lot of friends of ours No but a real friend of ours

One of the OGs But anyway We'll not We'll let him Who's this Let's just say You may have heard him Doing a little bit

Of shite talk oh really yeah oh my god yeah good for him aren't you happy for your friend

oh yeah are you I know you're joking around I'm happy for friends are you yeah okay

good well I'm happy too buddy well done nah I'm gonna keep it a hundred because this is

55th street yeah I'm gonna keep 50 face street fuck them motherfucker he probably up there sucking

muckus dick's to get the pond if one of if one of Krip back was doing paddy power

what yeah well no congrats to our friend well deserved it doesn't mean anything though no it does man he won't even look

he's probably deleted our numbers already you know what I mean you know I always think it's funny people like you know

you just chug along do your own thing you know yeah whatever like I think it's funny when you talk to people in the scene

again not to be mean or anything but like they've been there for like two weeks yeah like there's like guys who are like

brand new when they come and they message me for gigs and stuff and I'm like, oh, I'll get back to you and a lot of times I don't because I'm too busy wanking. But like, I'm watching Jeremy Clarks and you know, like, maybe I'll someday I'll be your Caleb, Jeremy. Well, you shove a butternut squash up your eggs. But then you talk to him as I never heard them like,

oh, it's fucking bullshit, this guy got, it's like, there's all these clubs I don't know about in Dublin. So it's all, oh my God, this guy got Yehaws. Oh, I wanted Yehaws. Oh, wow, he's got residency at Squiggly. Wiggily? What the fuck he's in shit?

Yeah, he doesn't know what it's like Okay? What? He's headlining ping pong pooh-poo's Oh, come on I've grafted for literally weeks. Yeah, I know what you do, yeah. We're too cool. We just

rise above it all, man. I do, yeah. Yeah. You keep telling yourself that. Maybe someday you'll believe it, sweetheart. Yeah. Can't hide you. the pain in those eyes my I think bitterness is a very unattractive quality

I think now here's thing I was trying do you do think that do you really wow I tried word this so being a hater yeah is funny so being Kat Williams is funny being a whiner is not funny

so if you get up there and you call everyone you call Kevin Larney a paedophile I love this okay Kevin Larry's an industry plant and all this it's ice spot advice and Kevin Larnie. But if you go like, Kevin Larnie,

that's not fair. Yeah. It's like... Well, no, I would never say that. I am genuinely. I'm not talking about you. I'm not talking about you. There's other people who's like,

what, how do he do that? Like, oh, no, maybe he was good. Yeah. And, uh, you know, maybe you should try it sometime, pal. Yeah. But anyway, look, this isn't Clarkson's farm.

And people are like, let's get back to British politics. That's what people want to hear. Another thing I thought is, and I don't like Sunak now, but I felt a little bit bad for him. So, like, did it a thing a while ago for D-Day?

You know, DJ? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, where they were saying. They had a DJ at D-Day. Waka-Wat! David Getter was doing, you know. Yo, shout out to all the people that died of D-D.

What about David get him to the Greek? Why not, why not? Why not? Why not? Yeah, let's do it. I got to keep working. working on this there. But anyways. I'm actually surprised I'm still

functioning at the moment. A very long day. Okay. I've had some very difficult things happen to me. Really? And I'm still, not really. Actually, no. Like what? Ah, I ate my role too fast. I got diarrhea. Yeah. I've had some gastrointestinal issues. Oh, you're telling me

you shit in blood. Not anymore, but I was for a while there, yes. I got very ill and I popped a hemi, dude. You know how it is? I thought you said you popped a hemie. I was like, oh, you're skateboarding. No, I tried to fit a skateboard up my ass and then it

popped a hemorrhoid. So I was bleeding out my bum, but it's all good now probably. I just put a bit of duct tape up there and not to get too graphic, but at its worst, picture my ass cheeks like the elevator doors and the shining and just a river

of blood flowing out. A little boy in a tricycle right now. Scatman Cruthers popped out my I'm ironically scatman I don't want you to ever go in James' asshole ain't no business for you up there James' asshole

Well my point is okay said D-Day celebrations are right And they had a big photo up And it was like Biden Who else know It was like Biden And like I don't know

Some Kamala Macron or something like that And David Cameron Okay They're like what Where's two next And Sunnax is like, oh, I'm busy, I'm doing other stuff. Yeah.

Then there's all these people who are like, and I was like, see if you can guess the kind of dog whistle here, okay? We're like, yeah, something about Stunach, some about him makes me think he doesn't actually care about Britain, you know, like we're all one type of British, but he's a different type of British. You know, he actually doesn't care about British culture because deep down he's not one of us, is he? He's one of them.

He looks different. He smells different. And that's because, as a class thing, I mean, I mean, he's rich. That's what I mean, yeah. I thought they were having to go. him for being left-handed. You know? Yeah.

But I was like, that's pretty obvious dog whistle racism. So where was he, though? In fairness, like D-D.A. That's a pretty... Yeah, he's in some... A brothel or something. It was in a cabb shop

on a fruity machine, you know? Probably worshipping a kebab. You know what they did? Creating a kebab mecca. So, what else do you want to talk about here? They're fighting hard to find a

distribution deal for the new Trump movie Oh yeah Who is it fucking Sebastian Stan Yeah that's a weird

choice I'm more excited about it's Jeremy Strong Okay Is playing Cohen Roy Cohen Right Cohen

Very good That's good Cohen is a fucking Demon Like he looks fucking mad Yeah He's got his face

All He's got You know That kind of tight AIDS face He had AIDS You know Yeah

It wasn't the whole He was very like Homophobic Anti-Gare But he was like in the closet. Yeah.

All that stuff. So that's like, that's him look there. He's one of those guys. Yeah. One of his old guys. Sickly. He's sickly,

but also he's got all the tan on. Kind of like Trump now. He's like just really learned. He's got tanned. Yeah. He's got a lot of work done and he's a classic kind of anti-gay, anti-AIDS medication. Very conservative. Yeah.

And then he gets AIDS. And then there's an Angels America. I think I've told you about Angels America. That Broadway play. Yeah. And they adapt it into. a miniseries with Al Pacino playing him is like a 90s

HBO's first big Look we got Pacino Yeah Look is it good Oh yeah One loads of it was like And I think it's like Lots of big big names in it

So Roy Cohen was he worked with Trump's father originally Yeah yeah And he basically inherited Trump Yeah And they've got it So that's stand there as like Trump Yeah

Young Trump So it's called the apprentice Get it? Nope Okay All right because Alan Sugar So like

So then The whole thing about it is This is funny So apparently they got They said We want to make a Trump movie Yeah And they got all these

People to invest in the movie So you get investors It works for sure yeah But they got like some guy Like one of the guy owns The Redskins Now the commanders You know

Oh yeah The guy who like fought The Redskins name For like 20 years Like I want to call it The Redskins Yeah And eventually he folded

You said I can't call them The Backwards Savage so I met you halfway with the redskins. Come on. Yeah, so that guy and a few other rich guys who are well-known Trump lovers. Really? Trump supporters, yeah.

So they were how are we doing it? Oh, we'll just bust Donnie's chops. This'll be a goof. No, no, no, no. Daytog was going to be a pro-Trump movie. Oh, I see. And then this guy took the money. I got fooled just as easy as they did, Brockin.

You know, it's not easy this whole movie-making industry. You know, you ever seen Get Shorty? It's confusing, you know? It's a gay. is he not gay? Is that a hairpiece? What's going on? What is Zinu? I was watching Getshore. He turned out with swordfish. So the point is, okay, they gave the movie, he told me a pro-Trump movie. Yeah. And in the movie, he raped someone.

Wow. There's a full-on rape scene in the film where he rapes. This is all court deposition. Is that the one that was linked to the Epstein thing? No, no, different rate. Different one, okay. One of the many rapes that Trump has done. allegedly Oh, hang on now

It's like I think one of his wives Oh The one who died there Not too long ago I think the one who conveniently died Ivanka Where Trump Ivana

Which ones There's Ivanka and Ivana He raped his first wife Ivana Ivana rape your bum Ah no I didn't laugh at that You did

Go on Give me something So basically Yeah so basically His first wife to the divorce and in the divorce testament she said that he raped her. Yes. All right?

And then I think he paid a huge amount of money to to her to say like I actually made a mistake, I drank too much cough syrup and I imagined it, you know? Yeah. And they actually have... I was just robo tripping on Prometheusane and lean your honor. And the woman playing

his wife in it is from Borat 2. The daughter from Borat 2? Oh wow. Who's very good actually. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, she's very good She's actually in Guarinds the Galaxy You know, so like what more do you need? I mean, yeah

Yeah And then Because of this They're finding very hard to find Kind of people who want to Distribute it Because it's incredibly libelous And you know

Well, I mean, it's not libelous You can get away because The way libel works She retracted it in court though I think the way it works is The go around is It's something that she said And it was reported many newspapers at times

so it's in the public domain, domain, you know? So they can do that. And the same way that like a lot of times it's like a very controversial subject but based on a book because it's almost like that's the buffer zone. It's like,

where's making a film about the book? Yeah. So I think that you've sued a book publishers. You've got a problem with that, you know? Well, an interesting thing I was heard about Ivana Trump is because obviously Donald and Jeffrey Epstein were Pally Pally for a long time.

Allegedly. No, they were literally friends. Fucking liberal. tarlowe. Everyone knows he's on the island, but he just didn't hang out with the kids. With the staff. Yeah, yeah.

You just smoke joints for the staff. Like, dude, you know. But no, so there's this journalist called Whitney Webb. She's interviewed a lot of, like, I'm familiar with her. Epstein survivors. There's a couple of Epstein survivors that, like, have been very emphatic in saying that

Ivana Trump and Jisley and Maxwell or Galeen Maxwell, they were like partners in the procuring of young girls. I've actually heard this as well. They would go to schools and middle schools so obviously it all get, you know, Galane was the fall guy for it but

you know, Ivana was kind of helping a lot too back when Donald and Jeffrey were mates. Yeah. So. She only died in 2022. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's an interesting woman here. She had a long

life. I'm just sorry, I'm just reading about her. Yeah, yeah. She fell down the stairs. She died of blunt impact injuries to the head from falling down the stairs. Interesting. Yes.

Around the time where Galeen is, you know, her trial, she's been arrested, her trials coming up. Oh, this is funny now. But she's not allowed to mention any of the co-conspirators. You know, it's very funny. So there's a big court case going on she's involved in. She falls down the stairs, all right? Yeah.

And she fell down the stairs and then accidentally, you know, put three knives in her back you know but then like it says here her estate was divided up between Donald Trump Jr., Eric you know Ivanka so it's just among the kids

yeah so like obviously like Donald's getting some oh hell yeah of course it is should they all work for pops yeah so it's like they've got baron there slinging his big dick man man I bet you he's packing heat

he's got a big old lap hog down all ironically okay you're messed around I'm not okay I'm deadly fucking serious don't undermine me with Barrow my eyes don't embarrass me in front of Barron

the amount of people in line especially you know that guy who's like I don't know what he is now it's like value tainment you know that guy is like something

oh Patrick David Patrick Patrick Bet David Patrick Bet David Patrick David Patrick David Price I think it's Patrick Patrick Bet David Yeah that's it

Yeah yeah Like he's all ironically to be like dude I've seen pictures of Bannon he's got leadership in his eyes and he's like all the he has his guy he's on okay and he's like

so you talk to Trump afterwards you talk to Bannon and one guy's Barron oh yeah Barron sorry sorry you know it's the correction you could should correct otherwise I'm going to walk around town be like I like banning Trump

yeah but they're like yeah we want to ban Trump too oh it's a classic sitcom mix up Bannon's on first I love Bertie Trump But like

He's like So I was talking to Baron Okay Yeah And he's talking to me And then I'm leaving the house Baron

Opens the door And says Nice to meet you And I'm like Whoa This kid is already With it He's opening doors

For people He's responding to me He's making eye contact He's basically selling himself right now and I am sold like they talk about him like

he had a Rubik's cube in front of him and then like solved cancer has he ever given like an interview of any kind? I've never heard him speak that's the thing so that's the superpower but there's thing cause he doesn't talk does a void there and people can like oh I bet

I'd be like oh I bet baron loves Tottenham oh I bet you me and Baron would have good we'll talk about Clarkson's farm and top gear the good old day Yeah, same will be like, I bet he those bitcoins and an internet pornography, anime, he loves anime so much. Yeah. Whereas like, things like, people like talk about how Barron's going to take over and all that.

Like, there's already Trump Jr. and Eric. Yeah. But they're not. They talk. And they're like, oh. And they're retards and unlikable. Yeah. Well, they are, though.

They're a real Everton fan. They're no Hunter Biden, you know, spoken crack with guns to Hooker's heads. Did you read a lot of stuff about, what he was up to what do you mean like the recent So like one thing I was reading about

Convictions One thing So one They had like some of his Ex-girlfriend Let's call him Girlfriends Alright

And they're saying like His brother is dead wife No no No no This one was like So he's in New York Yeah And he hires this girl

To be a dancer Right For the night Okay So basically I hire a girl To be a dancer In my hotel room For night

Yeah So obviously he's gonna be More than just Dancing Okay You might wouldn't know that James You're like Are they gonna hold

heads and they're going to stay up all night and have meaningful conversations about her hopes and dreams how she's just dancing to pay her way through college and then she can you know help her father pay for his chemotherapy no but like no she's actually just addicted to drugs and she's a dumb whore but like he'd get like oh you want to come over here and it's like actually i've got crack and then there's this smoke crack for like five days okay yeah but while they're doing that he's listening like just real chill like you're the fleet foxes oh yeah yeah listen like the fleet foxes

nonstop on his phone be like this is awesome and they're smoking crack together interesting choice for music when you're smoking crack I know yeah I was picturing DMX or something no no he's like it's like real chill it's like you know a moby chill beats to smoke crack too

yeah yeah low five beats like he's just like yeah because he probably smoked cracks I'm like oh lord in our trouble so high because he's probably smoked crack so much he's like I, I, I, you know you know, it's like

you're a functioning pot head you know, he's like, you smoke weed I don't mean you, I mean, you know, but like functioning pot, everyone's a functioning pot head. You can smoke a joint and go about your business, you know? Not me, pal, I'm on the floor be like, help me. I need to listen to Fleet Foxes right away.

Oh, I'm like metamorphosis, I turn into a bug. Kafka's Goh But That's just him So he can smoke crack And then it's like Go to the shops if he wants

You know He's not like He's not like If I smoke crack I'm like What? You know Probably off my tits

You know He's like He can do like a fucking Massive What do you do? A bong hit of crack I don't know what you do Crack pipe

Yeah He put the rock in the pipe Yeah He does probably A big fat rock Yeah And he's like cool Seven gram rocks

Yeah He do a seven gram rocks Like cool I'm gonna go to The pet shop And get some dog You know He's like

He's just like go about his day, you know. Go to pet shop, get some dog food. I don't even have a dog, but hey, I'm on crack, so what are you going to do, you know? Got me some slack, Jack. I'm going to go to the pet shop and buy dog food for my prostitute. It's not what you's eat, isn't it? That's good enough for you, the money I'm paying.

I always laugh when he was in either the military or the Navy, and he got caught with coke on his sister, remember this? Yeah. And he was like, oh, I smoked a cigarette with coke on it, and that's how it got. A friend of mine who lives in Canada gave me a cocaine cigarette Yeah I do remember that

Yeah, yeah, yeah I had not a belief And of course they found cocaine in the White House And they had to do a whole big Who could it be? Yeah, they blame the dog Yeah, man It's so he's been indicted

Like it's like federal gun charges But like it's gonna be obviously A reduced sentence Probably just a fine I can't imagine he'll do any time Yeah. And this is really just for shit slinging.

Like, well, your son did this. Well, you did this. Stormy Daniels, smoking crack. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of a tired point now, but it's just kind of ridiculous that that's the thing that's former president

gets indicted on, paying hush money to a porn star. You know, after all the human rights, you know, crimes and war crimes. All right, Chomsky. Orp bombing and, you know, yeah. And going on between two ferns. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Disrespectful to the White House. Don't be mean to Zach. Yeah. He made fun of Hangover Tree. That's a very underrated movie. Yeah. Mr. Hussein Obama. Oh.

Yeah, you probably, probably, you're too busy smoking, smoking crack and sucking dick. Barry Satero. I got so angry there. I couldn't even say the words. Ugh. you're crack and smoke you're sucking crack and smoking dick still kind of works actually

but all right anyway yeah well who knows who knows what's going to happen it's probably going to be Trump 2024 it's all good baby that's all my politics

I don't really follow politics these days too much and I'm better off I can't live my own little fancy world I recommend I need to get out more live my life you know I know I know people

I know people are at C-MAT right now. Seamatt? Yeah. What are you going to have against C-Math? Fuck, oh, what are you joking? Yes. C-Mat, more like C-FAT, you fucking pig. Oink, going, go-k-k-I.

I have no... I really have no feelings towards C-Mat whatsoever. I love whatever I say, fucking dumb bitch. I'm sure she's very nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why she won't talk to me. The thing is, that's just a very...

It's always... always funny to be like, for example, when we say Pedro Pascal, worthless cunt hope he dies, you just take something that everybody loves and then you just hate it for no reason. As you say,

being a hater is funny, being a whiner's not funny. But it's always funny because you're like, Pedro Pascal fucking cuner. No, James, come on now. Don't say that, but I'm like, do it, James. Yeah, of course you are, man. You're the angel and the devil on my shoulder, you know.

the juxtaposition the duality of man I don't know much about CMA I have no yeah I think she was like or is it there oh I think you've just invented your head could it be a there

oh it's probably not allowed see probably not allowed to ask you probably want me locked up in prison yeah no but I'm pretty sure CMAT was like anti-Israel and kind of you know

that's why everybody's like well we love you C-Mah well pronouns are her that bitch no they're her she or what I call her she yeah she's much and too many Hershey

cookies and cream I got I go I I I don't even know if she's fat she's probably not

that's so funny because I have a fan so again projecting but it's just look see fat Hershey

she's very attractive and probably very talented I make this fun yeah it's like come on fuck it

you know I'm worthless I'm a worthless steaming pile of dog shit wrapped up in human flesh I'm you know

beyond reproach I'm vile but someday she'll say the wrong thing you know she'll cancel and they'll all come crawling back to you James

yeah yeah yeah and then years from now she's eating too many crisps and then she will be fat and they'll be going by your white suit I'll make C mat

my door mat and I'll wipe my dog shit on her Yeah Have that love Yeah Well I kind of wanted to go see her Yeah Where is she performing?

Ah who cares Yeah Yeah I know Honestly I want to get out See more gigs Not just blueie now See actually like good music

Yeah I want to go to theatre I want to see more plays Oh tell you what Let's get some tickets To go see some plays Okay There's one called

real life that looks good. It's like a, it's like, the poster is like a kid, uh, with a carrot and he's going to stab a woman. Okay. Let's look up the synopsis for it. Because it sounds, it looks good. I like carrots. Real life. I like carrots and I hate women. So already I'm on board. But I do really want to see some plays. It's a real blind spot I have. Yes, I need to get out. Like, you know what? There's a wild, I haven't been watching films lately. Yeah. I think I'm way better off. Okay. What have you been doing instead? I'm not allowed to say But

So funny about us In the cock fight I'm bringing back bum fights But yeah So real life Okay Let me look up the plot

It's like Oh God It's 18 euro per ticket I mean that's not bad I suppose 70 minutes No intervals That's 20 an hour

Really That's not bad Real life is a soap opera It's a drum beat At the end of EastEnders it's a one-man show with a cast of 15. I don't like this. It's about unfit mother,

wielding a bread knife and dancing a nightclub with your top off. It's about the things you like to think about that may be unlikely to happen. This sounds like I'm reading it wrong, this is what it's saying, okay? This is awful.

Whoever... Should, no. Whoever wrote that? I don't know, man, you know? Brain together a stellar ensemble cast and a team of Iron's leading designers and artists, multi-award winning inclusive arts

oh god keep going come on you started this a new contemporary theatre production that explores fantasy

reality and the art of facilitation what the fuck is this yeah no I might just go see the field actually

all my cave you're the ball yeah that's what I like yeah yeah so I'm just looking of these performance here. A lot of them are like

one's called boyfriends. Now what could this is 16 quid I want to see some like David Mamet, Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross stuff, you know? Oh I love to see that yeah. A situation, this is good boyfriends, okay? A situation is a romantic

or sexual relationship that is undefined and non-committal following a three month affair between two anonymous men. Boyfriends charts the ups and downs and roundabouts of modern situationships as I string to 4,169,000

possibilities what they might mean to one another to choose time, sex, but on a song's nightclub period dramas, chlorine or calorie, oh I'm just lexic, calorie counting, boy friends ask to ponder on the age-o question what the F is romance

anyway? Yeah, okay. This is not Glenn Garry Glenn Ross. That's really not at all. Where's Jack Lemmon? Let me look up Teeter. That's like, what's the actual good theatre place in Dublin? The Abbey Theatre? Yeah, I want to see like what's like, those are all like, you know, like more kind of

studenty kind of stuff. Yeah, I want to see like a real well written, like a John McDonough play. Michael Rice is a brother John Rice is in some place. It was like The Hangman or something like that, you know? Oh man, Russell Crowe's performing. Oh, he's got a band.

You know, my brother is actually in the Dublin Shakespeare Theatre Company. That's great. Let's go see something together. No. I can't let him know I support his lifestyle. Living like a bohemian freak. Eating, you know, veggie burgers and smoking hash. Oh, I got it, man. I got it. Pretty Woman the Musical. Sold.

Yeah. She's a prostitute. I bring my money to the show. I'm like, maybe she'll suck me off. Where's Julia Roberts? I want to see those tinnies. Yeah, it's a musical And the Bored Gash Bored Gash starring Oliver Saville Oh Don't talk about my dad, all right

A Nepo baby Oh fucking hell Pretty Woman the musical She's pretty I've seen now I yeah I want sex Because you're a whore

I'll give you the money And show you the door You don't come around anymore Yeah look I'll show you the video Okay They've got a video Yeah, they've got a video Look, she looks a bit like Scarlet

Johansson Yeah, she's quite attractive You know If you're into that Horse face look Big teeth Well, I think she's great Squid the eyes

Bent up nose Who's that fucking Looks like Owen Wilson And drag Wow, I'm a pretty woman Wow Yeah, sorry I'm just getting distracted By the abbey tear

They're good aren't they Probably. I don't know. Oh yeah. What about Sugarwife? What's that? It's, I don't know. It's a... About some diabetic hog who gets her foot chopped off. Pass.

Oh, this is funny. It says, this production contains loud noises. Oh, no, not for me, then. Yeah, it will contain a loud noise when I pull a gun out, you boot. We're over the hour here. This is just me. Being verbally abusive to women and I've never managed or don't know. anything about you know but hey

actually there's other stuff I was going to talk we're not going to talk about obviously don't worry James but I was going to talk other things but it won't get to it now there's a new show coming out called Douglas gets cancelled oh it's all about cancel culture right it's about time yeah it's Hugh Bonneville

gets cancelled for what he tells a sexist joke at a wedding interesting it's the show looks shit, I'll be honest. It sounds terrible. Speaking of great men being cancelled coming back, Jeremy Pivens in the laughter lounge soon. Is he? I swear to God, I just saw that today.

Oh, dude. Let's go up and we can reenact some entourage. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll be Turtle, you be Johnny Drama. And we'll just find some good-looking guys to be Vinny, Chase, and E.

Yeah, yeah. And I'll be like, Victory! And I'll smoke weed and eat cheeseburgers. Yeah. It's the role I was born to play. But Piven, who's open? Oh man, imagine opening for Piven. That'd be so cool. Holy shit.

I think that's how we got in trouble in the first place. A few too many went opening for Pivin. I know he's doing a live show as well, isn't he? Yeah, to be honest, I don't know if he's doing the Laughery Lounge as well as his live show or maybe it just moved to the After Lounge. I can't imagine he sold a heck

of a lot of tickets Brian. Because I think he was actually in Ireland not too long ago. He cancelled. Really? Yeah, apparently

some cool dudes I know we're going to go see him but he cancelled. Why? Probably low ticket sales I would imagine. No, you're crazy James.

Yes. He won an Emmy for his performance. Oh, it's in the Laughter Lounge, you're right? Yeah, I know. Oh my God. Yeah.

I wonder how much it costs. June 25th. Do you want to go see the... That's like in a a couple of weeks I see here was it the M or the upgrade

what's the upgrade 44 euro 44 euro for meet and greet oh holy shit dude we can meet him wow do that

25th of June you say yeah dude we're talking about going to see the theater and you're like I want to see a McDonough play we could hang out with Ari Gold I mean

have you ever have you ever done a meet and greet before. Could you imagine the fucking freak? So be there. Actually, it would be pretty funny to go. You mean everything to me. I used to be a real bitch and I watched

Harry Gold and now I say that and I got fired. I always verbally abuse homosexual Asians any chance I can because of you, Mr. Piven. Okay, we're at the hour there like he said.

I'm serious. I think that would be so funny to go to him you know it's so funny because um on celtic ligars which podcasts are like we're friends okay yeah every now and again talk about like yeah we went to this talk you know it's like um a symposium no they go at these talks was like oh yeah it's like emphasis on the simp ah no they had these like um they're good guys that was just an easy low hanging fruit yeah yeah yeah but they have these things was like uh oh it was this panel there it was like a three hour discussion but the left in arland they had like paul david murphy and people you people from PBP and Labour and the Green Party

and discuss these things and made some very interesting points there in the Q&A section I asked some real probing questions I got some really interesting answers like yes yes Piver Oh yeah

Oh yeah My superhero Gonna be you just do it Oh bha Yeah That's the level of intellect We're breaking to the culture Even if you just go see him

about the meet and greet I mean the meet and greet would be very funny though you know imagine it was just you

and him yeah we did hey could I crash on your couch tonight

he ends up just moving in you can't get rid of him he's like a pest he's like oh no pavin won't leave

it was fun for the first month do you think any other guys will show up yeah definitely yeah

yeah don't worry yeah Kevin Dillon is coming We need more milk. It's like, you drink a lot of milk. Okay, let's end it there.

What are you got any other plans coming up? It's actually not the late, which is great. Okay. It's like 11 o'clock. Any plans? Let me see. No. Oh, no.

Doing a gig in Belfast in a couple of, in about a week's time. But Colin Murphy's headlining, you know, from the panel. That's good Yeah That's pretty good I guess But anyway Apart from that

No I don't really have any plans The Hapenny as well You know That'll be a A constant battle Between the forces Of good and evil I think

You know The Hapani It's a good Giss you out of the house You know It's good for us It does Yeah

I mean It's fun to stand In Temple Bar Yeah Called a queer By drugged out teenagers Man Is there any

way we could contact the laughter lounge get Jeremy Piven at the Hapenny I mean come on dude I mean seriously ready to break the internet

Piven in the Hapen holy shit dude the world will never be the same again and we have to cancel because of no ticket sales just like four Puerto Ricans it's like Where is Missa Gould?

Missa Arrigal. All right. Piven, you have to flyer. Oh, fuck. He's not flier. He's on his phone. It'd be so funny. Make Jeremy Piven flyer for the hip, honey.

Oh, fucking up. Let's wrap up there, guys. Yeah, all right. Go look, guys. No disrespect. See you, Matt. Bye.