Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 228 : Keir Starmer and the Sneaky People

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Episode 228 : Keir Starmer and the Sneaky People by Brian and James F**K Each Other

alright right guys it's the drama episodes yes it's all the internet drama all the internet tea brian i think um not that thing that you're low in other kind of tea i think what we'll do now is the patrons we recorded the patreon there yeah it was almost a little bit too intelligent i think we're talking about politics yeah pedophiles yes do we talk about Lolita no we didn't no I was just fantasising about it. And then showing me Lolita fashion. No, so there's a whole thing here.

So I was telling James about Lolita fashion. Yes. And you taught I meant I was talking about the book. Yeah. Lolita, the book about the paedophile. And I was trying to tell you

it's not that. Like girls, okay? Little girls dress up like Lolita. So I was Googling Lolita little girls. But they dress up as Lolita from the book. No, they don't. No, no. It's unrelated.

It's unrelated I think so Okay So what is it What's its origin I don't know I don't want to get right I'm not nonsense

I'm nearly an enthusiast Well the point is We're talking with those Heady kind of intellectual stuff Why I got the village magazine We're talking about politics We didn't need to break it out either So

Yeah because we're talking about You know Joe Biden But the free episode Yeah I think in the future We'll all be like The Goss

This is gonna be like You know like Okay Quick magazine You know all those like take a break take a break you're taking a break listening to us

we're going to talk about all the gossip all the gossip girlos get the girlos ready so you're telling me about some gay stuff

yeah but do you want to elaborate he's like a gay guy on the internet no no yeah so this guy

called sketch he's like a gamer I've never heard of sketch okay and I pride myself and being pretty on the level when it comes to a lot of the stuff

that children like I watch to keep my finger on the pulse. Like I watch a lot of bluey. Yeah. I'm pretty... Dressly, Glute, I'm watching blue. But not the fashion, the book.

Yeah. But this guy has passed me by completely. I don't know who... Again, sketch. He's... He's... Very generic name as well. Yes. It's... But there's a lot of these guys. There's another guy called Dream.

Again, very just like one... Destiny. Destiny. Do you watch much Destiny? No, no. He's got blue hair and he was in an open relationship. People make fun of him. I don't like people to make fun of cooking.

Why? Do you... It's a very easy kind of like... Do you get cooked? That's not important, James. Ready, steady cook, huh? Is that it? Yeah.

I'm the little one. In every sense of the word. So tell me about a sketch. He's a YouTuber. YouTube, well, like Twitch stream. You know what? Even me seeing YouTuber such an old man thing. It's all the YouTube.

It's like the wireless, but there's pictures on a day. But they're gay. You can watch Frank D. Roosevelt's commencement speech. Yeah, so he's huge on Twitch. He blew up in the last year or so,

like millions and millions of, like, subscribers. He's done, like, official partnerships with, like, the NFL, a lot of sponsorship deals. He's massive. He's huge, right?

And his whole thing is his vibe or whatever, his aesthetic or character, I guess. He kind of plays like he's somewhat, you know, a little slow like basically bubbles from trailer park

in a comedic way yeah but he was kind of yes it's definitely for comedic value so what would he be doing on the videos then you know he just kind of make like random he got like random faces and just like me with it like and you get up and walk around

he did this thing where he do like pose like a dog or something again I'm not a gamer I'm not into Twitch shit or so I don't really this is all third hand information but anyway so he's massive on the platform but what happened there like a couple of days ago his only fans from two years ago

all got leaked and it's him like pictures of him like sucking dick and like wait wait sorry how long has this guy been famous a couple of years I would say so he hadn't only fans yeah he had an only fans before he was famous really yeah yeah yeah wow yeah so does that help him become

that's unconnected then I think it's unconnected I think to be honest as he's and how old is this boy 20 something mid 20s maybe I'm not too sure You know how the new You know generation

They could be 41 But they look 19 Yeah yeah Or they could be 19 but they look 12 Like Michael Rappaport I have no idea how old that boy is He could be 21 years old for all I know He's just a no good street punk

But yeah So sketch All these things got leaked It's like pictures of him I'm like leather daddy outfits And like pictures of him Blowing dudes And he said it was like, so he's obviously he's gay when he was in the closet because the whole thing about Twitch and the whole gaming sphere, there's a lot of like edge lordy homophobic types in that, you know.

So he alienated, you know, a section of his fan base. But like when it came out, he basically, like he just ran away. He was like stayed in this hype house kind of thing. A hype house, you know, or just like, yeah, all the creators. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he just like, he's like, his route. me, it's text, was like, yo, we just saw this shit come, are you okay? He's like, I

had to, I'm sorry, I left, I'm at the airport now, I didn't know what I was going to do goodbye forever, basically. Oh, wow. Like, they were like... But it's unony fans. You're sure that he must know, like, these things are going to leak out. I guess he had basically, yeah, does think, you know, he

didn't expect to become one of the most famous Twitch streamers of all time in the last year or so. But again, it's like when we get famous. Yes, exactly. All this stuff's going to come out about us. They don't actually fuck each other. They're not actually paedophiles.

He's not actually doing blackface. No, I am. I swear. I'm a pito and blackface getting bummed. I promise. I'm calling you for the airport. Like, James, you okay? I swear, I'm in blackface right now.

I'm in blackface chuck of that cock. I promise. But yeah. So his mates were like, no, man, forget all that. You're good. Don't worry. Just come back. We just want to make sure you.

you're okay. So it's kind of like after the initial shock of like oh fuck here's pictures of him suck a dick everyone's kind of like ah who cares what's the big deal. So it's almost like a good career move. Yeah. Like I should do it. Yes. I'm surprised As if I haven't done it already. Have you got

any fans? That'd be sad wouldn't it if you have one but nobody cares. Well I have no cock to suck. That's the problem. No one else would be on it. If you're living in the heart of the city and you can't find a cock to suck, brother that's on you. that's on you there's plenty out there can't even get on a bus without seeing 12 of them in a row

do I tell you about the kid that went missing on the bus there and the very busy afternoon that I had no wow what happened I was getting on the bus there to go to work it's a bunch of Italians you know in the summer it's all Italians oh yeah yeah and it's like Spanish yeah or maybe Spanish Italian I know Polish or Nigeria no yeah but I think there are Italian. Okay. I think they are. Maybe Spanish. It doesn't matter. You've thrown me for a loop there, right? I should have checked. I should have really got up there

and checked. Where are you from, pal? But anyway, these kids, anyway, when they all get on the bus, they're all like giggling and laughing and all that. Like they normally do. But they're giggling extra hard. I made sure to make a note with that like, those dizzles girls are giggling a little bit too much. Right. Mr. Bus driver

stop the bus. They're giggling. You're right, pal. I heard them myself and I'm glad somebody said it. We're gonna pull over and we're gonna ask every one of them. What's what are you laughing? What's so funny? What? Just because I'm driving with my shorts on. It's the summertime and I get very hot. Me balls stick to me leg.

I have to peel it off like a bit of sliced cheese, you know. Easy single, ready to mingle. Don't walk away from me. Get back here. Get back here now. You really paint the picture. Thank you, thank you, yes. It's like a Beckett play. Like Ken Lodge if he was a stoner,

Ken Roach. Oh, br-br-br-br-br-a. Yeah. It is an absolute crime that I'm not famous. Brian, you're right. I know you're thinking it. And I agree. I know only fans right now.

Or volunteer to help Yeah But anyway You're on the bus And it's like a kind of Irish guy with them Like they're kind of Leader

They're a chaperone They're shepherd Herding cattle He looks about 12 Like he looks about the same age as them He's like Oh we're missing one The girls

Watch Oh we're missing one the girls Oh We forgot her And they're laughing He's like Don't stop laughing We forgot her

Oh But instead of being like angry he just got all like defeated he was like ah I've messed up and he calls whoever like his boss to presume or he's like yeah she's gone

probably sold into the sex trade you'll never get her back now he's like yeah they're all laughing she's gone there's too many of them my uncle he's always telling me there's too many

of them and he's right you can't keep an eye on all of them but then he's like trying to talk to the girls and one of the girls say yes we were we were going too fast and she's sick in her legs she's sick legs yeah she's sick

legs and he's like can someone call her there but he's not like all right girls call her now he's really like can you call her please is there even any point she's probably dead but like

they try and call I was like she says she's on the bus what bus the short bus she doesn't know he's like well that's

she's probably on the wrong bus she's not on the bus with you I think that's safe to assume yeah yeah hang on

are they all upstairs all upstairs maybe she's downstairs because she got gammy legs she can't go upstairs imagine that she was on the bus

the whole time that'd be a lovely twist at the end the calls coming from in inside the bus. No, but she apparently's on a different bus and he's like, oh look, we'll get off the bus

and then try and find the spire or something. Oh, look. And he just sits down with his head and his hands. I felt bad for the poor cuns. I wanted to go over and cheer him up. But again, he's about 12. Don't worry, pal. I'll take over.

You have a nice long afternoon. I'll look after the girls here. Now, girls, we're all going to the hidden Dublin, the places you don't find. in the brochures my house but anyway we're talking about so sketched so it's not really

I thought it was a bigger thing it's really not but the thing is because the like gaming community is so like you know kind of a lot of edge lordy types not all of them obviously see now that the dust has died down everyone's kind of like we don't really care that he's gay they're more so put

off by the fact that he was doing only fans there's a lot of there's a real kind of like moral yeah it's weird that people take towards OnlyFans. Also, OnlyFans feels like such an old thing now. Like, OnlyFam, when I was in primary school, people are an only fan, you know?

When I was in primary school, it was an only fan. Like, it feels like it was like ages ago. And like, I don't really feel like, you know, back now it's got too normalized or now, every now and again, it'd be like, you know, Ricky's to Nicky's on Ony fans.

Yes. It's, you know, John Senior promoting the movie. Is this him, like, you know, holding up a sign that says. Getting sucked off by sketch. Yeah.

Oh, a phony, phony, yeah. But it comes hot on the heels of the doctor disrespect thing. People are connecting

that, but isn't that different? Completely different. What did Dr. Disrespect? Because Dr.

Disrespect, again, is someone I don't really know. Yeah. I think he looks cool. I might steal his look. I think you can

now. I think nobody's going to be wanting the doctor disrespect look, so it's out there. I go to the barbers and like,

give me a doctor disrespect. They just molest me. but yeah so he's another big like twitch streamer but he got caught it was in 2020 he got kicked off Twitch like he was possibly the most popular now when you say Twitch are these guys just playing games yeah doing something else I mean I think they show like sketches and little interviews and stuff but mostly it's just them playing games remember foozy no remember food I think Remember

Food boo? No, no Things used to make sense back in the day Fuzi was a prankster Remember YouTube was all pranksters Yeah

It was all like Going to the hood And offering a homeless guy food But then I actually Piss on him Yeah, yeah It was all like really No, it was all stuff like

Do you want a Like a million dollars And he was like yeah And then he just like punch him Like it was all that's all so I'm laughing already Yeah Fuzi was a sketch guy

And Like these guys all come and go You know Why is no Fuzi I think it's Fuzi now I think he He recorded a porn video Oh

Yeah it's him in a car With another guy and a girl Like a bang boss type thing Yeah yeah Perfect combo Okay The Angel's threesome there Two guys, one girl

All right And he's going But thing is like He can't get hard Oh And he posted this though I thought it's very brave Of him to post this

and again so Foozy walked so you can suck you know like Fuzi already put up a porn video and like he was all soft

it's funny because the other guy is just banging her right and he's like just like oh give me a minute yeah

who's driving the car that's what I want to know it's sketch it's a fucking it's an Uber lift you know what so yes

so this all came out the sketch thing but Dr. Disrespect he was on Twitch Let me look up Doc disrespect real quick. But he got kicked off in 2020 and nobody

knows why. And it finally all came out there. It's because he was caught sexting and underage girl. But he says it never went any further than sexting. He never got any pictures. That's not a good defense. I was only sexting her.

That's still pretty bad I hear. It's funny. He put up like a whole big apology on Twitter, but he edited out the word minor, but then somebody like screenshot is like why'd you take out the word minor so then he put it back in and uh but anyway yeah so everyone the kind of comparison people are making is like people are more angry at sketch for being gay than they are distressed doctor disrespect for being a

pito this is all gibberish isn't it it's all nonsense what are you talking about the thing is like i know nothing of these guys or of this world but these guys have millions and millions of viewers and subscribers and they've got brand content and sponsorship deals like they're all millionaires like you know it's crazy yeah i'm just seeing here doctor disrespect is usually depicted on live streams as being bombastic and provocative basically doesn't get more provocative than that like how like howard stern but like if he was a gamer basically is doctor disrespect i think he's been compared to the undertaker i wouldn't i don't the undertaker would like that uh under take her panties off.

Yeah, and another, again, oh yeah, he also was filming people in the bathroom. Who? Doctor disrespect. Okay. You was actually worse, though. Fucking, oh, texting me multiple times, like, did you get my

last message about the gig? Oh, that's bad now. Well, I'm sorry, Brian. I just feel like sometimes we don't communicate. Yeah, you're getting bombarded by a whole bunch of doctor disrespect. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You're getting doctor Disrespected Night, noon and fucking day, man Yeah Yeah, I don't like that People, I'm going to actually Have to set up

stricter rules So we're doing a comedy competition Yeah I need to be very strict Like, message me once Yes I will get back to you Messing me at 3am

Is not going to warn me to you Yes Sending multiple messages You know Even like if you've replied And they're like Oh, just check it up It's like

No, no, I'll be like Oh yeah I'll get back to you tonight Yeah. And like a minute later, like, I'm still waiting, bitch. I actually do respond to that. You can't treat people this way, you charlatan. Yeah.

Another thing you were talking about is who's that little kid that went missing? Oh, yeah, Jay Slater. Yeah. He's not a little kid. He's 19. Oh, well, then I take... That's an interesting... That's an interesting case, actually.

Well, it's interesting because... I feel like a lot of this stuff, like, it would slowly build. Mm-hmm. And memes would slowly get made. nowadays if your if your daughter or son goes missing before even reported to the police there's already like all these meme pages

it's all like a minions memes of like banana it's your son disappears it's all it's all like that it's all Homer going into the hedge backwards like your son there's like come on now you're in the police station with your wife and you're just scrolling

oh sorry love yeah we'll find him yeah it's that break meme of like having a son losing a son like it's so fast now yeah what's the story with him I actually I'm so out of loop with this stuff

I'm only I only look at like like kind of boring stuff these days all Israel and Palestine and Kier Starmor for me I don't look up with a fun stuff so tell me the fun stuff yeah okay so Jay Slater he went missing in Tenerife probably about a month ago now I'd say three weeks at least

so he goes missing people it you know gets a lot of traction online where's jay slater blah blah but then a lot of information starts coming out that's very weird so basically the official story is he's over there in holiday he's at a nightclub at a rave whatever he meets up with these two guys and they drive him back to their like Airbnb which is like 25 miles away from where he was staying right okay so he's way out in the middle of fucking nowhere and then the official story is he tried to get back into town but he missed the shuttle bus

so he just started walking and got lost in the very thick terrain because he's like dehydrated he has no money his phone battery dies blah blah blah so everyone's like okay what the fuck that's kind of weird but then stuff starts coming out about him like two years

ago in England he like was involved in a machete attack him and a bunch of lads like stab this kid a bunch of times And he got caught with a lot. He's had like, you know, different... Do you do time? No, I don't think he did time

because he was only 17 at that, so... That's great being 17, isn't it? I already wasted my childhood. I was at home watching Doctor Who. I've got to be like macheteing people. I just get away with it. Who's like, Judge Everyone hates in Ireland? Judge Nolan, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I should have been doing there. What a way, misspent you to. Yeah. Well, you could still do it, man. I'm not 17 anymore. Yeah, we need a remake of 17 again. You just go back and batter women in the street. Two to put her down, two to put her out.

I didn't mention women. Sorry, sorry, I'm projecting again, yes. Getting doctor disrespectful. So, yeah, they found out that, you know, he's a bit of a wrong. So he's a bit of a wrong in, yeah. Now, other things have come out... Allegedly. Yeah, well, so the guys who's Airbnb he went back to,

he's 19, they were both in their 30s. And it turns out these two guys have like extensive, you know, they actually are involved with quite an elaborate like drugs ring. So the whole thing about the theory is he went over to buy drugs from them in bulk to sell in Tenerife. Because if you want to sell drugs in Tenerife, but you're not from there, you don't fly into the country with a bunch of drugs. Yeah. You fly in, you meet a fucking like dealer, you buy shit in bulk and then you sell it. So the theory is maybe he might have wrong. robbed one of them and he got caught.

So he was like, oh yeah, pay for this. Yeah. Not. He ran away. So he put up a Snapchat story that he got thrown out of the club for stealing somebody's watch. Like, you know, see, there's a few things about it, but then. So where does he vanish then? Well, where's the...

Like, just, I mean, it's a part of Tenerife. It's kind of outs, in the more rural part. I missed the parts. You're saying he left the two guys. Yeah. He's walking home and he's gone there. Basically through like the desert. It's like a harsh terrain. and no one saw it as the last nobody's seen him since

yeah nobody's seen him since but the guy who was the thing like the Tenerife authorities they basically refused any help from outside authorities like the Lancashire police

whereas he's from originally they said oh we'll come over we'll try and help you and they were like no so a lot of people say there's just so much corruption in Tenerife that basically the cops just allow and facilitate these you know

elaborate drug smuggling rings and blah, blah, 100%, yeah. So that's why they don't want the English cops coming over. To be honest, James, this all seems very reasonable. Yeah. Yeah.

I haven't said, well... No, that's what I'm saying. It's reasonable. You got defensive there. I didn't even mention Jews. Well, thank you. Now that you bring it up. No, it's just that...

Because I haven't read in this at all. And I presume... Because people were talking about all the conspiracies about this. Yeah. When I hear conspiracy, I presume it's like somehow connected to Hunter Biden's laptop

I expect to be like a way bigger thing. It's like I know who else was at that party. A little someone called Hillary Clinton. What a coincidence. Pokemon, go, kill Jay Slater. Now here, I will get a little conspiratorial on you. Yes, finally, yeah. You're teasing me now. So that's the

official narrative and that was one of the two theories put out. Here's where some of the strange things come about. So his friend who is with him, there her name is lucy something she was interviewed on the news but she refused to show her face they had to interview just the back of her head right so everyone's like why is she doing that like why does she not want people to know who she is or whatever then his parents apparently didn't fly out to like you know i think they were like fuck him he's a wrong one but they didn't

want to say that but i just interrupt one second yeah before all this came out the only memes i've seen about this is people just making fun of his mother. Yes. And just being like what a slag. Now, obviously it's not funny if he is connected, but like, imagine it's like probably happens, like, people just disappear. Yeah. And then immediately

again, people were just like, I bet his mum's a slag. Yeah. That's probably why he disappeared. Yeah. She was addicted to cock. She couldn't afford to pay all the jiggle oats. So they killed her son. It makes perfect sense. But again

it's like the, it's so quick how people have turned against this whole thing because the thing is a lot of parents took real issue because she said in an interview she's like, but I can't go out there. I don't have the strength to go out and look for him in case of where he might turn up.

So every parent was like, why the fuck would you not want to go and find your child? Like to be on interviewed on the news and say, I don't have the strength to actually fly out there and look for him because I don't I'm afraid of what might be found. I think that's reasonable.

No, it's not reasonable. I really hate parents. Parents are so fucking sanctimonious. Like, oh, find your son. I actually hate that. I hope all those parents, hope all their sons go missing. Maybe I'll help with that.

Get on the bus. Your life's mission. Okay. You're still fucking judgmental, aren't it? Yeah, they are, though, yeah. But, you know, as people expect, act in a certain way you know

where it's like you have to like break down like I will find my son some people got other stuff going on you're anything

about that they have to they've downloaded all this Doctor Who audio drama and they have to get through it

strictly's on and now that that fucking wrongans out of the house she's got a bit of peace and quiet

she could put her feet up watch the telly a cup of tea little chocolate bicky oh a little bit of heaven

like honestly okay let's say you're a family remember disappeared. Okay. Let's just say this. Okay. Yeah. Your family, you get a call there. Your family member disappeared. Yeah. And like James help. You're like, okay, I will. One second. And you're about to turn off Netflix. But you just see what pops up? Beverly Hills Cop 4. And you've already watched it three times.

But if I watch it four times, holy shit, dude, watching Beverly Hills Cop 4? Four times? That's like synchronicities, man. Coral Young, Yulging philosophy kind of dictates that numerology and symbolism have, you know, that there's a it actually represents something more, the deep subconscious, so I have to do it, you know?

And, uh, yeah, no. You see, other things can pop up. Yes. So I don't, I'm defending his mom here. I don't think anything has popped up, though she's like, no, bloody bothered. Do you know what I mean? I'm not going over there where it's a bunch of rag edge or whatever's going on.

um so yeah but here's where the conspiratorial element comes in so the guy the two guys who's Airbnb he went back to who they're the last people to see him alive and they have a history of being involved in the drug trade the tenerife authorities let them go like and said straight away they serve like they you know they serve no importance to the investigation they're not under suspicion blah blah so everyone's kind of like that's a bit weird but then a couple of days later that one of the guys basically the main suspect

right he puts up an Instagram post of him and two other friends out in the desert where Jay Slater supposedly went missing and he's covering his mouth one of his mates is covering his eyes

and the other mate's covering his ears and you know it's just to say hearing no evil see no evil speak in New Evil but the caption and the Instagram post just says plus one so it's like there's a fourth person in the picture that they can't see.

No, I don't know. Oh, man. Oh, I swear to God. You know what? Here's the thing. If I killed someone, it would feel so good to post, like me. Yeah. My finger on my left, be like, oh, you'll never catch me.

It must have been like, oh, it's, it's like, oh, this is such a, oh, my only, oh, it's going to freak people out. I'm like Walter White, you know. I am the one who knows. I am the one who posts. Like, remember we're talking about King Vaughn? Yeah. And King Vaughn would just post pictures of cereal.

Yes. And he's actually like, but he like, he really loved that. Instead of just doing it once, he did it multiple times? Yeah. And in an interview, it'd be like, did you kill people? Are you a serial killer? He'd be like, I don't know. And he'd eat some Cheerios.

Like cereal. You know what I like about cereal? They're great. Unlike those guys I killed. What was that? Nothing. Nothing. So these guys are post.

They're posting, they have to post anything since. When was this? This was, I don't know, to be honest, I only heard about that aspect of it. Just today, I was watching the most stellar journalist of the 21st century, Mr. True Geordie. True Geordie. Can you believe it, man? He's out there. He's doing fuck-nose what. There's a bunch of fucking bloody, fucking curry eggs out there, fucking, do I mean, I don't trust it, pal. Or whatever. I didn't, I said, that was basically what he said. That was the, you know, he He uses a lot of big words.

Are you finally on the true Jordy train? I've always been on the true Jordy. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. But no. I would love him if you just, the next time I say you've shaved your head. But I haven't worked out ever. And all my tattoos are just flabby and sad looking.

But I don't apologize for being racist against Muslims. And I don't cry about it like a bitch. I stand on my shit, bro. I say that shit. I'm a do this shit. you, bro? Yeah, I forgot about man, true Geordy, I forgot, like, so there's the Islamophobic stuff, and

also the pegging stuff as well, remember all the pegging? Yeah, yeah. Like the Prince of Pegging? I don't know, who's that pretty, that's like a cool prince. Prince William, remember they were calling him Prince of Pegging? That was his useless banter, like... Yeah, yeah, but this is real. He actually, there's, like, leaked messages

of him being, like, peg me more. He likes getting pegged. Yeah, fuck me with that 12-inch black cock. Wow. Yeah, is what he probably would have said. Oh, bloody predictive text Oh, it's got me in many's a Hot bother situation I'm trying to text to you

I'm like, you want to record today You want to fuck me with that black cock I'm like, oh And I just It's the algorithm I reach in under my bed And pull out just like a wooden gun case And I take out the blackage

Blow the dust of it Well, Danny It looks like we're going back to work I call his Danny of the dildo. And man, he's seen some shit. Literally. Yes.

Yes. So, yeah, that's the, so as of yet, there's no real, nobody knows what happened. And I think it's going to be a case of, we're never going to know. I think basically the authorities out there are corrupt. They allow a certain amount of, you know, criminal activity because, you know, it's good for the local economy and good for them because they get the brown envelopes. The bad lieutenant. Yeah.

so I don't think where we're going to find out and here's the thing you're going to know that if this did happen and if he went over and tried to rub drugs from like big dealers over there he's a fucking idiot and he got what was coming to him well okay yeah well sorry that was my true

journey slipping out there he's a fucking wronging and he deserved it pal you say that about everyone like Madeline McCann she's out there fucking eating ice creams in the sun trying to rub it in the face of all the drug dealers. She got what was

coming to her. Yeah. I was laughed at the idea of like, you know, back home on into some lad who like, just a tragic accident really falls off a roof. Yeah. Change an aerial falls off a roof. Yeah. And it's real sad. You're like, yeah, you got what come to him. You fuck with drug dealers. That's what happens, yeah.

If God wanted man to fly, Mr. Wynne, he would have given them wings, Mr. Kit. Familiar with Mr. Wynn and Mr. Kit? No. Nah, of course you're not. Who's there?

There's some Eastern philosophy. Well, is it? James Bond. Diamonds are forever. Seminole piece of work. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There were two weird hitmen who kind of looked like Cisker and Evel.

What's they called? Ciskel Lieber. Ciskel and Eber. They were kind of like too goofy. Oh, you think they were intentionally that? Yeah, yeah. Ciskel and Ebert popped up in a few things. Not literally, but they had like, you know, Godzilla that had like two people.

Well, see, one of them was kind of more like Gene Schallet, to be honestly, like big glasses and a goofy mustache but there are these two hit men who work together but there was this like vague like homo erotic kind of witty banter back and forth diamonds are forever Sean Connery I was a big

bonned head when I was a kid I watched I haven't watched Bonn in a while yeah I might go I can tell I can tell I need I may even go back and watch some Bonn I actually randomly a few days ago I watched Harry Potter

and a gobble of fire. Yeah? Because you know what they're doing that? You want to support J.K. Rowling in this tough time? You know they're doing it? Yeah, yeah, it's so hard. Fucking the...

She's making mince. So she got her detective books out. Right? And they're making that... That's a TV show right now. I told you, one of the books is all about a writer, a brave writer who gets harassed

by a crazed trans activist. Yeah. Yeah. She's a detective, though? Or is this a different one? No, this is... No, this is a book. I think his name's

like Robert Fisk or something like that he's a detective and one of he's solving the case of this woman who's being harassed by trans people

yeah yeah but then she's also the second case of let's find out who stole the rainbow a mysterious cabal of nefarious characters

have taken the rainbow hostage for their own malevolent propagandist purposes they're making a rainbow gay the rainbow used to be as straight as thing possible

that's right but then she's also got like they announced to doing like a full cast audible adaptation of the Harry Potter books so you know like audible like audiobooks yeah so you're like a full cast adaptation of that not with the original actors though no but all new actors okay I was like what pointless things already got like this is to the audiobook of it but the whole thing is like it's going to be every single word so essentially just they're

just taking out the Harry said Hermione Hermione exchanged you know Ron turned back it's like It's going to be just like that taken out. Okay. And just going to do a full cast audio. Right. And this announced they're doing HBO TV series based in Harry Potter. But it's not like set in the world of Harry Potter. It's just doing Harry Potter again.

Oh, what? It's like euphoria. Oh, really? But here's the weirdest thing. They have the guys from Succession doing it. What the fuck? Yeah. That is very weird.

It's very not Jesse Armstrong, but everyone else. Right. All like the helpers. Mark Moyland, I think, who directed the menu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they got them doing, and again, I cannot stress, I was like, there's no way, it has to be like, you know,

it's like, the American version of, it's set in the world, but no, I think they're just doing like the full on, you're a wizard Harry. Yeah. But it's like... I've a schiff on this. Yeah. But it's all chem sex. Is it gonna, yeah, is it going to be like basically Harry Potter meets euphoria? I hope so,

yeah. With like succession banter. Ron, you little fuck Stick, fuckwit, mud-blood-loving fuck face. Oh, I mean, don't call me now. He's the only one that doesn't get rewritten. He's still a bobbling goofball. Heck, you know what? Ron, I liked it when your two brothers fucked me.

Yeah, I got Eiffel Tower by those twin twinks, and I fucking loved it. They called him the Twink Towers. And my pussy went to Hadi bomb on that shit. Oh, no, Maher. You said you don't be loved me. I could you do this You've both of my heart

Are they got to do that, Brian? Are they going to do all that stuff I just said? I think the sad thing is It's going to be a very faithful adaptation. I think they're selling as like the books, no, you know, the books were classic, the movies,

an attempt that didn't capture the magic that we'll do. So she's basically doing the Stephen King shining. Yes, yes, they're doing their version of the shining. the improved version, yeah where Harry goes online and

it's just during it's just like she's tweeting some very interesting things like Nick Futez well let's see what he has to say Sneiko I call magic

6 million disappeared Elisha Elikazam Spelliamis. That's what Hitler did. Just one flick of the rest. Exfelyamus, yes, goodbye, juice. The Harry, that's historically accurate.

It's what David Irving was talking about the whole time. I love David Irving. He was like, do you all deal of the Holocaust? It's ridiculous. It was obviously wizards. So I, back the day, actually was protective of Harry Potter. Oh, really? I was like, they're perfect books

and she's not going to do anything else. And remember she did the cursed child? Okay. You don't much about that? No, I... I'm going to spoil it for you. That's okay. So there's seven Harry Potter books.

Yeah. And it ends and you're like, that's it. And then she announced, I'm not doing an eighth book. I'm doing a stage show. Right. So it's a stage show and it's going to be like proper like, almost like circ delay shape

where people are flying around the place. Okay. You know, the brooms is actually, it's flying around. I was like acrobatics and explosions and then you go piratectics and all that right and it's set like midgets probably maybe yeah 12 midgets all on top of each other and a big cloak that's the only way you make it to mentor look because they couldn't get Robbie Cole trying to play Hagrid's so it's weird so give you 12 midgets and a roll of duct tape we'll make it work that's a little cracker

but so the cursed child is basically book eight and it's uh harry potter's children okay so it's harry and jinny's children it's like uh i forget now it's like albis potter and severus potter oh and uh something else potter uh and it's like the kids he named his kids after his teachers what a fucking dork oh my god what a loser after their principal you know Imagine that. Yeah, your fucking closet case principal.

Yeah, yeah. Let's name a kid after him. Or the other fucking in-cell emo freak who couldn't get pussy to save his life and lusted after your mother for 50 years. Yeah, let's, you know, in memoriam for them.

Actually, Snape is so funny. You're right? Snape just like, I like her, but I won't ever tell her. I'll just watch his son. I'll just watch her son for years. I'll bully her son. son. Mr. Potter

whose mother I was a bit of a stuck up little tunt. So it's something we're like Voldemort might be back and you know Harry's like working Harry's got like a fucking like a boring pen pusher job he's like got a belly

and he's in the Ministry for Magic he's like nine to five. Just administrative he's working in the wizard immigration officer office. I'm sorry love, if you don't have the form, you can't come in. Please, Mr. Potter, to let us in.

We go to platform nine and three quarters, but we're not allowed. They tell us we don't have the right paper work. I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry. I can appreciate the circumstances, but look, there's an administrative procedure here that you have

to follow. I don't make the rules. I don't make the rules. You can't get them out of me. I've got the wife. I've got my kids. She's given her all that. So please, just I actually kind of forget what happens At the start I was kind of like into it Also she published the Stage show

So it's basically like a book But it's just like you know It's like a screenplay essentially Yeah Just reading that There's no like actual book version of this Yeah So it's like

Voldemone might be back The kids go on an adventure Yada yada Turns out It's actually Voldemort's daughter Oh Yeah so Voldemort's daughter Earth, bitch.

Yeah, yeah. Boss witch. Voldemort had a baby with Helen Bonn and Carter. Okay. It's a pretty hot. Picture that. Yeah.

No one knows. Imagine him going down on you. No Tim Burton. I like it. And then, but the bit where I lost it is, then it's all like, it's all gets a bit like Doctor Whoish, where the daughter gets a time turner.

Oh, you didn't like that part, Brian. It's very ridiculous. Oh, no. Yeah, but real life, I'm like, oh, God. I need new pants Just went from 6 to midnight I just shot up loaded my paints

Yeah, you loved it I want the vinegar strokes But Yeah so they go back in time And they kind of like stop Harry's parents Getting killed to change history And then like Voldemort's there And the time is all different

I've no idea how you produce it on stage I think also the stage shows two parts Oh She never heard it before Yeah doing a stage show in two parts Yeah so you see one show And I think you have to like You have the option of

You can come back to next day or something like that Wow That's really dumb Yeah yeah Or maybe it's like maybe it's like You can take an hour break or something Yeah To set up to have to clean up all there

You're just getting confused About what an intermission is It's like they stopped it Then everybody went and at a piece and come back for another one that's just bloody death

is that I'm like where you all going fucking lazy no respect for culture or the arts and I think

at the end of the obviously they stop Voldemort's daughter and I think Harry is the choice of saving his parents but he knows

that he changed time so much so he doesn't save his parents but his parents still live on inside his heart

yeah the end. And I thought that was it. But then the Fantastic Beast movies. Okay, yeah. Remember, those are awful. Yeah, I've never seen any of them. Oh, Eddie Redmond is terrible.

He's doing like, he's doing like a kind of bad, um, Doctor Who in press. Speaking of Doctor Who, he's all like, who, hello, oh, oh, you know, he's kind of like Matt Smith, David Tennant and kind of like energy of like, oh, what's happened? Oh, oh, oh, he's like, bumbling, but also he's amazing. He's like a monster expert. He's chasing monsters around. Oh. And then, like, the crazy thing is

they have Colin Farrell there playing the villain role. Oh. And Colin Farrell is great. Yeah. Right? And at the end, he's like, actually, I'm Johnny Depp. What? So it turns out he was actually Johnny Depp the whole time. They have Johnny Depp playing the villain. He was just playing

like, he was like, so there's like a bad wizard that Johnny Depp plays. And it's actually Colin Farrell in disguise? No, no. He's actually, does he disguised himself as Colin Farrell? That sounds very confusing No, no, it's not really It's just like

That's Heath Ledger's last film Yeah, Dr. Pyrsumpton, yeah Yeah, Dr. Sploeniferous's Dr. Sploge That's that porn parody Dr. Junkie took too many sleeping pills

And didn't wake up And got what was Gilbert to him Just like Jay Slater And But don't worry, all the proceeds From that film I'm going to Jay Slater's parents that's the thing

that was Johnny Depp, Jude Law Colin Farrell and they all and the whole thing is like the character and Dr. Parnarius or whatever's name is. They changed it

in every world he goes to he changed his face and it was kind of like a happy incident where they only shot the heat ledger parts in one world like our world

and so how about when he goes to different world he changed his faces you know he's Jude Law one minute whatever but they all donated their like film

feed to the kids, Heath Ledger's kids or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the film's a big flop anyway, so his kid's got nothing. Thank God. I like that. All right, but the point is with this, it turns out, it's actually Johnny Depp. All right. Okay, and then the next film Johnny Depp's the villain and then all the Amber Heard stuff comes out. Oh. And then the film after that

and also have to promote the film during all that kind of nonsense again. And they're already filming the third one so they have to fire Giant Depp midway through the third one and replace him at Mads-Mickleson so the villain changes like three times and then they found out he was a crout or Danish or some weird shit

we can't fucking have that so he got the sack and uh they get back Johnny yeah they started ringing is Jimmy Saville still alive oh crap with the magic of CGI it's only a matter time really is man who's gonna their thought's definitely gonna happen

we're gonna get an AI Saville. You don't be so funny. You don't like you have Tupac on stage. There's a mistake. Oh, I got two pack of Jimmy mixed up.

At the Wutang Clan concert, Jay. He wasn't an old dirty bastards either. Cash rules everything around me. Green, get the money. My case comes up next Thursday. Gwaguan blood.

Give it up, slime. Yeah. This is gibberish, isn't it? No, no, I'm talking about Harry Potter It's great And then they did like Three Fantastic Beast movies All Flops

Yeah and she started off J.K. Rowling was like This is going to be a sixth part epic And they got the tree Also it's funny It was like The third film No sorry

The second film was like It's Johnny Depp I know as a accomplice In the movie's Ezra Miller Oh my God Mr Miller's like he's like Go on boss Yeah get him

Yeah Yeah let's break into a couple's house in Hawaii and hold a knife to their throat. It's like the most problematic set out. That's hilarious. It's like J.K. Rowland, Ezra Miller and Johnny Depp all just hanging out. And they're like, people love us so much. Yeah, we could do anything.

It's funny, like, Jake and Rolls, like, the least worst. What ever happened to Ezra Miller? That just completely all went away. No, it's so funny. So, that's the thing. It hasn't gone away. It's all, like, in court. It's all, like, all these court cases. You know the way we looked up on the Patreon episode?

We're looking at a politician in Dundalk who battered an old man. Old woman. Oh, was it the old man? No, he grabbed no woman's tits. Oh, that's what it was. And then the buzzkill man was like,

please don't touch my wife. He was like, I run this town and battered him. He had no respect for the art of cuckold. Yeah, you know, that's an affront to people like you. I would have taught him how to do it right, okay. Yeah, yeah. You got pulled by like, oh no, don't fuck her with that big car. Oh, okay.

You know, you're a point to the story. to interrupt you. Point is, so that happened in 2018, this assault in Dundalk, local politician, and it only got settled in 2024. So if you're Ezra Miller, you can make the case last a very, very long time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, again, kind of going back to the doctor disrespecting, he got kicked off Twitch in 2020 and nobody knew why. And it was because it was all hush, hush, because it all went through courts and everything. You know, it got settled out of court. There was no criminal charges, blah, blah.

So then some, like, insider from Twitch let it leak and then people came out and corroborated the claim and then he decided to speak on it but yeah for like four years nobody knew what the fuck he just left Twitch and he went over to

YouTube started streaming on YouTube and built up his audience again so it's kind of like he completely got away with it until he didn't. It is funny though sometimes in different industries to be like someone who's really really successful and it's like I'm actually stepping back from all public appearances and you never see me again but it does not

Nothing's going on. Like, I'm the generous, for example. Yeah. But nothing's happening. Goodbye. And don't believe the papers. Goodbye.

Yeah. What was I going to say? Oh, yeah. It's funny. Speaking of, like, productions are difficult. The Flash, for example, for the premiere of that,

this is after all the stuff about Ezra Miller came out. They basically led Ezra Miller out. No one could talk to Ezra Miller. It was like, there's like, every Miller, like, wave jacket and a muzzle

like, fucking Hannibal Lecter. They had a teaser behind them, essentially there's like wave okay and then you walk in and we bring you out the back and you're back into fucking your padded cell and good luck basically like a Gaddafi body double like you know

there's just 12 Ezra Miller's in the back of a van been driven to various film premieres so I'm really thinking what happened next to Harry Potter so I think after Fantastic Beast was a lull but Harry Potter is a big money maker so now it's back in force

and you know J.K. Rowland, she is still so powerful. Like, Kier Starmor, okay, he was up by a large amount. Like, he was going to beat the Tories. He had no reason to do this, but he just came out and was like, I actually want to meet J.K. Rowling and I think she's very, very good. And I think trans women, uh, uh, sneaky. You know, they're a bunch of sneakos.

Sneaky, sneaky, have a peekie. Yeah, he basically. came out against trans women there because like J.K. Rowland said something like, you know, I can only support the Labour Party if they, if I know they agree with me. Yeah. And he's like, please. Right. We need your votes. And then she, he wins

anyway. Because you know the demographics and all that. She has all those like weird women. There's a lot of weird women in Britain now. So that's a... That's just what you call women over the age of 30. A lot of weird freaks out there. Just big

smelly, frumpy bag for life 12 cats in the house bitches Brian she's a 34 year old physical therapist so I don't know what you're talking about Keep her away from it She's a fucking dumb sneaky She's a sneako

Kier Stammer by the way He's the new Prime Minister Britain, it's weird There's a lot of publications at the moment acting like Britain's suddenly different Like Britain is now a shining beacon in the world

Now you can wake up be proud would be British. And it's all this stuff like maybe Mr. Joe Biden, he's so desperate. He might try and get some of Keir Stammer's amazing charisma. He might try and like, teach me your Riz, Keir. Is Keir Starmer charismatic?

No, no. He actually didn't interview. He could just speak words without shitting himself. You know, that's not a question that you should ever have to ask about a world leader, let alone ask it every couple of weeks. Did he just shit himself on camera?

That's like a running, it's like the deadpool. When's he going to shed himself next? But didn't interview with Kier's. Kierstammer is very, that's almost like a selling point is he's, no, he's, I'm a boring politician. That's what I think. They're always the biggest freaks. Bread and butter, that's me. I think in a hard day's work for a hard, a big, I don't know.

A day's work for a day's pace. Yeah. All that kind of stuff. But he didn't interview. like a day before the election. And he's probably scared to say anything that could throw it off, you know? So he's like, they're asking all

this stuff like, what's your favorite movie? He's like, I don't know. What's your favorite book? I would, I wouldn't know. I like them all. And then they asked him like, what do you dream about? He's like, I don't dream. He's just like a knotting. I don't sweat. I don't dream. I don't wait.

Oh, well. Something, I don't know. He had all the right answers, but something told me this guy's fishy he's hiding something i don't read or watch films especially the kind of films you buy on the dark with him and have to keep it a hard drive under the floorboards old slick willy's got an answer for everything yeah actually i don't like cure starmer now i find them be uh really because you haven't stopped talking about him for 12 minutes i'm so i've got a t-shirt says gay for starmer i'm like that was that's an unrelated t-shirt queer for cure that's what

should have said. Oh my god. Man, you could be the Malcolm Tucker of like the Alistair Campbell, you know, you're like the spin doctor. Well, I'm like, what about queer for Starmer? There's something about that. It's got a real ring to... Keir-eye for the straight guy,

you fucking pooch. You fucking wee boffty. Yeah. That's me, is it? That's how you see me, eh? Oh, what a wonderful legacy to leave. I want to be a ribbon my people. I want to be a positive

black man. Sorry. I don't know. Interesting thing now. I'll keep seeing interesting now. But something I read there, apparently there's the most working class people in the government now

since the 40s. Yeah. And look how the fucking countries go. Do not tell you something, eh? That's why they're called the working class and not the thinking class, brother. We've got these fucking dead-eyed mongolides making all the decisions. Oh, I think everybody should have lots of money for crisps and sandwiches.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm nice one, pile. Cheers. Hell in a hand basket. That's where going. Sodom and Gomorrah. Dante's Inferno. Okay, I'll talk about immigration if you want me too.

You see, actually, Richie Sunak with Britain's most tattooed moment. Oh, it's so funny I need to show you So he was on like What you call the show That Philip Schofield used to have Until they Unceremoniously

And unfairly dismissed them This morning Yeah They had Rishi Sunak on this morning All right And he was the second guest So they had like They had her on

Okay Oh my God Britain's most tat And he's had him In the background there And just during the whole interview He's just in the background out like that, be like, almost

here. Yeah. Do you want to talk to me? What about queer for Rishi? Wouldn't that be funny? You know what? Because she's all covered in tattoos and they're all black, so he's kind of there like, is she doing black face? I mean, I suppose not, but almost, it is a little bit too

close to being black face, isn't it? It's a lot going on. There's actually a lot of colour there as well. Oh, I only saw black. Look, there's all the blue and stuff. Yeah, man. It's very, it's very. unpleasant though I still can't believe how crazy they were about

D-Day that's insane to me and that's pretty racist I think actually not I don't like Rishi but like so they had that thing for D-Day and he was there for like an hour and then he went off to do something else to like he abandoned

there was no one it's not like this old soul he didn't like go like piss off all soldiers yeah she's what you fought died for you little sleigh oh did you lose your little friend you're on the beach boo-hoo you fucking nothing

or fucking do you in you little can I'm gonna shake your grand door a liar he probably didn't talk like that does he but I'm just trying

to paint a picture you know I paint with the bronze trucks so my point is he went off and people

like weirdly even like you know a lot of labor kind of people that wouldn't expect

him use dirty tricks were like he obviously doesn't care about the country and like Farage was like

something about the way he is you can tell he doesn't care about British people. He really leaned into that whole thing, yeah, yeah, yeah. And even then like yesterday, we're talking about tennis. I don't know that the actual story some tennis person did something wrong. Like, oh, it's disgraceful. It's almost as

bad as Richie Sunak abandoning the people of Britain during D. They're like tried to do a bad Photoshop job. here's his granddad it's just him like in an SS uniform just like

you know goose stepping you know with his face badly photoshopped on oh do he didn't care

about the allies there's a weird thing in Doctor Who actually were in later seasons the master okay the master's like

a villainous like the Moriarty to the doctor and the master has mostly been betray is a white guy with a goatee. Okay. That's kind of like his kind of style. Multiple actors, though. You know the way, master's

a time lord, so he regenerates like the doctor, okay? Don't throw it out on me, James. I'm making a point here. Hang on, I'll put my cigarette out on my hand, just like, okay, I'm awake now. But then they back in the room. They kind of did a bit more variety of the master, I made the master of Scottish woman.

Okay. And then the late, the master, latest master was played by an actor called Sasha de Wan. And he is, I don't know what. the most evil. Yeah, that's what I thought. He's the baddest one. I don't know if he's

Pakistani or he's a British Asian, let's say. Yeah. But point is, he's not white. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

And that's a big part of it. Yeah. So Sasha the one, he's a very good actor, but they have him then traveling around time. And there's like multiple things where he's like dressed up

like a Nazi and stuff. Okay. He's like, yeah, I'm a Nazi. And the other Nazi's like, Franz, are you saying? the new guy, I don't I don't think the furor would like this but then they have to like

write around it because it's such a weird little thing, all right? That's right, Doctor, I'm the Grand Wizard in the KKK. Where God damn who let this fucking guy be in charge? So they have to write

this kind of basically magic but a science fiction. It's like, oh actually doctor, I have a perception filter so to see me as a white guy. Yeah, of course. All right, yeah, so it's like, that's it again. doesn't that, I mean, when they throw stuff out like that, don't you go

Jesus, that's really, Josh. But it's like, so you got this like Indian, I just looked him up, he's like, from Indian heritage, okay? This Indian guy playing Nazi, be like, I'll get you doctor, but then the doctor like defeats the master by turning off his perception filter. So then it's like

no, and then the Nazi's like, get him. And it's like, so the doctor helps racism. Doctor's like, yeah, get him because he's black. Get him. That's like the animator. the axe sketch remember chicken boo the chicken he was a giant chicken and he'd always disguise himself just by putting on a fake mustache and everyone's like wow you're the coolest guy I've ever met one guy in the corner is like he's crazy he's a chicken he's a giant chicken oh yeah right buddy sure

you're and he gets dragged off kicking and screaming but then the mustache falls off like oh my you are a giant chicken that's kind of what I thought of was just funny at the end of an episode of Doctor Who of all things like yeah that's right he's Indian get him and the doctor's like all right pals let's go another adventure we've saved the day look they're

beating him to death they're tarred and feathered him very good we did well there we did well chicken boo what's the matter with you you don't dress like all the other chickens do you wear a disguise to

Dr. Cuman guys, but you're not a man. You're a chicken poo. You don't remember that, do you, bro? I remember a little bit. No, you don't. Well, I'll tell you what. We're at an hour there. Yeah.

Didn't even get to talk about Beverly Hills Cop Four. You talked about Keir Starrmer and Doctor Who. Every week. Who's my friend. I don't know.