Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 231 : Megalopolis

Episode Date: October 5, 2024

The Ted Mosby movie....

You know, just hold your nose, close your eyes, and let me put it in. What? Welcome back to the show. So we got a lot to talk about. Yeah. I have watched the thing about disability benefits. Hmm. Yeah.

That's going to be pretty good. The O'Toole home movies, yeah, yeah, good. With disability benefits. Yeah. As in how to get them or how to stop all those fucking deadbeat freeloaders, parasites, just feasting off the peripheral teat of society. Well, I'll tell you, you'll be happy, no, it's not going well for disabled people. Disabled people

I didn't think it was. They've had it too good for too long. This is how you know. Have you ever, like, been on the bus and then they, at the bus stop and then you hear that, the rap is descending. You can feel the collective like, oh, for fuck shit.

Another 12 seconds added to my commute, because of this fucking lazy cut. Yeah, fuck you, pal. and you feel it man it's not just you is it just me am I the only one

he's like fuck sick what the fuck now you're like physically like shaking no they can't keep getting away with this

I need to go downstairs actually you know what I'll do I'll go up and down the stairs many times in a row just to rub their nose in it then I fall break my ankle and I'm like

help please I need the wrap and they roll me off the ramp like a big fat boulder of shite. Anyway, hey, this is cheer you up, all right? So, psych, I don't take the bus like I'm playing, I'd be cruising, cruising down the street in my 6'4. No, so I watched a John Oliver video about this. And again, I don't really like John Oliver, but he does find, he does collect a lot of information in short bursts, you know. So it's kind of like a burger and the meat's.

good and some stuff on it like the jokes don't really like oh no the jokes those are the best bits the condom the comedy condiments Brian yeah you're like a bloody parrot who's wearing a beret yeah okay I guess there is a lot of that yeah yeah

like a squirrel with a driving a fire engine against all that guy oh that's bloody nuts and the crowd go mental lose their shit but when I try to do a monologue

about how you should hate disabled on the bus everybody just asked me to leave the test so that's the thing you'll sprinkle in so you can't just say like disabled people

fucking lazy cunt you have like disabled people are a bit like and then you say something like completely left field you know

right a lot of times the John Oliver it's like you know when you're getting a mammogram and the doctor is like

I don't I feel excluded ah mammogram is like where they check your tits check your tities yeah

But it's not a, it's not as sexy as it sounds. It's like, when I do it is. They stick their tit in like, is it like an electronic vice? It's exactly what it's talking about. Yeah, you can actually enjoy this joke. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I could know, like, what's a tit?

Yeah. No, not for me. It's in all those, it's those people with tits who are getting benefits. Benefit. Benefit. I don't know. I mean, he was just talking about, he did the thing about disability benefit and, like, how it's really bad in America.

Like you own America, right? If you're on disability benefits, you're only allowed to have two grand in your bank account. At any one time. If you go over, you're done. They take your benefits? Yeah. So if you're... And you're not...

Are you allowed to get to like supplement your income in any way? No. So, because the thing is like this was not linked to inflation. So this was set like, you know, in the 60s. They haven't changed it since. So like, let's say your dad dies and you inherit some money. Uh-huh. Even if it's like, you know, let's say...

Two and a half grand. Yeah, yeah. I'd say, get into jail with Bernie Mait off. But let's say, like, you have 1,900 in the bank, okay? Yeah. And then you get 300 from your dead dad. You're off benefits then. That's crazy.

Your medical insurance all gone. That's, yeah, it is pretty crazy. And it's like, couples are like, they can't get married. They get married, all right? That's their money's pooled together. And then neither of them have disability benefits. Oh, geez. If they're both disabled, I mean.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's actually pretty kind of sad in a way. And even John Oliver's like, oh, it's like Garfield the cat. Even that couldn't cheer me up. The government is a bit like Garfield, and disabled people are a bit like Mondays. Garfield doesn't like Mondays,

and the government hates spastics. That's perfect, by the way. You should be writing for John. I actually I'll keep sending my packet An interview popped up with John Oliver because I think his season

is back or something like it's a new season but like he was talking to this woman from like the New York Times like a YouTube video and he sounds like he's gonna cry the whole time and I don't know

like it's a real like wavery voice I don't have something wrong and he's like yeah I just I just feel like we're not journalists but we're just trying

to get the stories across yeah I mean I guess he you know he is his origins he's a comedian that kind of now has been sort of you know kind of by his own doing but he's sort of been put in this position where he's you know held in as high esteem if not higher than other basically he's the new john stewart yeah he's kind of transcended comedy and he's like people go to him for their news and then people are kind of sad then he's like

you're going to stop mr trump aren't you he's like i i yeah i'll try It's crazy, yeah So I watch disability people And then So this is a documentary or something No, no, it's just a segment on the show You know like a 20 minute segment That's what I mean like

Instead watching a documentary Just he in and out Yes He does 20 minutes Just kind of ignore the jokes It's kind of like we're talking about earlier When you're kind of getting like physically Like sexually assaulted

Yeah You know just in and out Yeah we were casually talking about that earlier Yeah but we won't talk about that on Mike Something happens to be in the shops what do you mean a sugar tax this is like being raped violently raped

actually it was a scary man in the shop over there where I went in all right and I just wanted to get my latte and my little sandwich and this guy like burst in his tiny little shop over there this guy burst in he's like cough and like Walter White

he's like a young fellow by the way he's only like 20 something I imagine he's like and he's like her lad he's talking to like the poor old Indian guy at the tail is like waving the 20 like I don't fucking like you can get the fucking thing in the fucking like the credit yeah give credit yeah I put in the code for the phone yeah oh wow yeah I can understand them properly

so just like an insane person yeah yeah it's like put that you can put that credit in the phone yeah putting the code in yeah just repeat himself oh was he asking the dude to put the credit on his phone yeah not me now yeah I because I worked in shops and sometimes you would get that they're like hell put the credit on the phone for me please like why is that I don't know because they're just so, you know, deranged and enfeebled. They're a bunch of John Oliver's, you know. Just like a bunch of John Oliver segments. Yeah, it's quite scary now.

And the guy was like, I'll sort you out in a minute. I'll help this man first. I'm like, no, you go ahead. I'll sip my little latte. I've actually, you just drop everything and walk out. I want no part of this. Yeah, I remember people would do that, like they come up. Now, it'll be one thing because I worked in a petrol station,

And some oil bat would be like, could you please put the fuel in the car for me? It's like, yeah, I'll do that, love. I'll do that. Why don't you clean the shite out of the bogs? No, why don't we just do what we're paid to do? And mind your own fucking business, which is what I couldn't say.

It's like, yes, madam, it would be my absolute pleasure to assist such a damsel in distress. Were you ever like, you know, oh, yeah, I'll do that, but you got to do something for me. You want me to take my big hard, nozzle, stick it in your fuel hole and fill you up with the fluid. James, I mean, I like you. I think you're, you know,

an interesting guy. I'm getting a lot of complaints. You really can't be, I get what you're doing. It's a humorous little and I'm sure you think it's armless. But, you know, that woman was, you know... He actually stuck in her cunt. It's a waste of oil. Like, she died. Bit of fire cratch, what? But, yes.

I would like to see that, actually. It's probably illegal, but we'd like to see them, you know, like the fuel nozzle. Yeah. Like I see that, put that in a woman's vagina. Just see what happens. You don't have to put fuel in her. Like, you can just put some non-toxic, like water or something.

Okay. But I just want to see what happened. She'd probably get an infection of some description. Oh, no, you'd clean it beforehand, James. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, what an idiot I am. Yes, of course. This is a sanitary petrol pump just in a fucking circle K in Longford.

Yes, yes. Very satitary conditions. But no, there was a video floating around Twitter. Tell me more. A while ago. But it's in America. Yeah. There was a dude at a gas station.

He was taking the pump, like the nozzle. He was sticking it up his ass while jerking off. And you can see him like in the full, like if you type in. petrol pump guy or something like that on, you know, I don't know how you'd, I mean, you could just type the whole thing in, man with petrol pump in ass while jerking

cock. Did you mean this? Then it's just a photo of your dad. No, but it's quite a sight. It is quite a site. Oh, I'll find it now. Oh yes, I have it now. You have it? Let me just watch it real quick. Oh my God.

Yeah. I tell you, that's a, you won't forget that image too. soon. It comes up straight away. It was very, it was kind of trending for a while because it's such a wild image, you know? He was Hawk 2 before Hawk 2a. I tell you, man, yeah. Hawk 2 has stole his thunder. But yeah, man, Twitter is awesome now.

He's got a nice hog on him now. Oh yeah, he's got a big old cock. I mean, I don't know, like, his cock is almost the size of the petrol pump. Honestly, I like this more than Megalopolis. This is way better shot, bear me. Here's a side because the guy filmed is like, yo, yo, dog, what you doing, blood?

Keep doing that? What's going on in here now? I keep telling you, stop doing that. Hey, man, you know that ain't good for your asshole, putting the petrol pump in your asshole? Well, they don't call a petrol, pull it gas. You put the gas in your age. Yo, man, you put the gas pump in your ass pump, motherfucker. Shee.

I don't think he did talk like that. I think I might be adding on a bit of a bit of stank on it. But anyway, so the main things we want to talk about today are the Ellen DeGeneres, right black hawk down okay apartment 7a and megalopolis

so it's an eclectic mix yeah now I'll be honest with now I think I might start talking about megalopolis because I don't know exactly what I think about this

I don't know how verbalize this properly a lot of people are saying it's so bad shit fucking insane it's freaking it's the experience that has to be experienced

yeah you know and it's like if you You took DMT and acid and shoved a petrol pump down your cock-old. It's fucking mental. Yeah, I wouldn't say that now. I think I actually wish I watched this on cam. I think I would have gone.

The one time you don't watch something on cam. The whole time you're just thinking, God, I wish I was watching this on a shaky camera. I wish there was a black man that would pop up to do a gambling ad. I miss that. I really miss that guy. He always pops up And this is on the screen

By the way Not in my bedroom Yeah It's not your sleep paralysis David Yo motherfucker You want to gamble She

Oh no Sleep paralysis But I watched it Okay And A lot of it Kind of feels You ever watch

Skycapped in the world Of tomorrow No Okay Or like You know like Sin City Or one of those films

Right Yeah It's like It's The visuals is very hyper realistic. It's hyperistic and you're never going to for once think like is this real? Yeah, yeah.

But I think you as Sin City is very stylized. Yes, but that works. That works, yeah. Because it's a graphic novel. It's off the page and all that. Which I actually want to watch Sin City again. I'm watched that in years. I loved it when I was younger. I haven't seen it in a long time. It's probably pretty lame though and you know.

Ah, no. I refuse to believe that. God bless the yellow bastard. I mean, that's great. Yeah. But I mean more like I don't know it probably is good I'm being a cynic there it's probably great

I don't never never stop believing I got a hand job while watching that once did you yeah yeah pretty sweet that's good never stop believing yourself

you know who told me that who? Maxi Taxi RIP Yeah Maxi Taxi If you don't know guys there was a taxi driver there was a maxi driver

there was a taxi driver in Dundalk that was kind of he was viral in the way in the fact that he tried to set fire to himself yes The protest Dundalk FC

Yeah, what was the actual protest About? I think, I forget Now, I think Dundalk FC were having some kind of disciplinary issue with the FAA. Yeah, over something or there's going to be a points deduction. I don't know what it is now. By the way, he was like, I know what was so cheap saved today.

And he tried to, he dows himself in petrol essentially. He threatened to set himself on fire if Dundalk FC got relegated or something. Which is funny because they're going to get relegated now. And where's Maxie to save the day? Also, his big thing was, so he was a taxi driver, he was a character onto a talk,

but he, like, unironically maintained that James Corden stole the idea for carpool karaoke from him. Yes, yes. So he was a bit of a character, I guess, I would do sometimes videos where he get, like, a young boy in his taxi. Yes. And he make him perform for, perform music for him, all right? and he'd be like, David, what's it, Keenan? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's one of his early kind of brushes with fame

was like he got David Keenan in the car to do the music. He's like, look at that. He also interrupted the song, but look atah. He's playing guitar. Oh, hell, no, what do you think of them darkest? He's like, Maxie, I'm playing a song about my father's suicide. Ah, yes, I, that's a serious disgrace name. Well, I think I told this on a podcast years ago.

I think years ago I said this in the podcast But one time I was just trying to get to a gig in Dundalk Yeah And he's got on the taxi Because I don't know I was late or something I was kind of like come on let's go And he's like

He's like real lack of days ago He doesn't even start straight But he's like And where are you heading to a pal Where in the big bad world Are you going to tonight Can we go please? Can we go?

And he was like He's like putting on his leather driving gloves And his goggles And scarf And you're like Come on All right yeah But he's like

Like, where are you going tonight? I was like, oh, I'm doing a gig. Like, music. He's getting the camera ready. Like, no, comedy. He's like, oh, okay. Get that fuck out of my back's your name. Like, and would you be good?

And he's like, I know, I'm all right, you know. I think I said something like, because I was like, he's probably working class. So it's like, you know, I'm no Lee Evans or anything, you know. I was like, what would he like? And he's like, and he like almost like, turn around. He's like, don't you ever disparage yourself for you?

really started giving you a big like yeah this big big talk and even when we pulled up i was trying to get out he was like now listen now listen all right yeah the only part you gotta believe in yourself because no one else will yes the man in the mirror that's your biggest enemy you oh rip sounds like we're just making fun of a dead guy yeah yeah yeah which i guess is how did he die old age or you know not revealed okay the dundalk Democrat is sitting on that. All the cameras in his jail cell

stopped working. All the prison guards were asleep. Yeah. Turns out he's connected to the Diddy files, you know? Oh, you know, I used to be a chauffeur for bad my records and I know for a fact

Diddy had Tupac murdered. That's, I'm telling you now, it's a disgrace. Yeah. What are we talking about? Megalopolis. Where did that come? How did that come?

Wait, I even know, man. But anyway, the point is, I watch Megalopolis anyway. Right. I thought it's pretty boring. Yes. I thought the visuals were kind of mixed. Some scenes are like, okay, this was filmed, all right? Right.

And it's like, you know, they staged it. Yeah. And they had an idea. And some scenes, especially like kind of like the scenes where it's like more like people just talking there. It's like, this feels like, just had the camera there. Yeah. It's like, the camera, like, it's just set up there.

It's like, okay, do the act, do the scene there. Yeah. I heard that there were a lot of, there's a lot of improvisation. Was there? That's what I heard. No, I have no idea, but I don't know if that's confirmed or maybe just because it was so badly written and acted that it feels like improvisation. Weird, because this was written like, I think 30 years ago.

But the thing about Coppola is, like, he's so, you know, like, he's very self-indulgent. but meticulous and like, no, no, this is what it is. He's always changing and evolving the script. I was going to ask, because you've watched Hearts of Darkness way more recently than me. Now, was there a lot of changing

on the fly with that and like changing dialogue and story? Yeah, so with Apocalypse now, like they would be in the jungle. Like, so they're in the jungle. They've went way over their shooting schedule. They're way over a budget. People are like dying, you know.

Martin Sheen is a heart attack. Dennis Hopper's like waving a gun like it's insane right and fucking Copel is there and his typewriter I just had another epiphany my God this is incredible you know it's just like it's insane like very just like

coke-fueled manic episodes and everything that could go wrong does go wrong and yet the result is one of like the greatest films ever made I haven't watched it in a lot of it's a fucking masterpiece like I love it the redo yeah yeah

I might actually for the crack I might watch the original I haven't watched the original That's horrific No No yeah I'm sure Just to see I kind of forgotten the differences You know

I tell you the one thing that they do Add back in is the whole Like there's like a scene Like on the French plantations Yes yeah Which I don't feel Quite works And I think they were right to have removed it

I understand it adds to like The historical context And there's some nice visuals It's shot very nice overall though it does feel a bit jarring and displaced I think they're better off without it but haven't said that it is fantastic Apocalypse Now like I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it

I would say Apocalypse Now is better than Megalopolis Okay There I said it controversial Who's going to come at me Yeah who's going to come at the king Jason Schwarzen's going to hunt you down What do you say about my uncle Jason Swartzman's barely in it

It's weird Oh can I just first First of all, can just ask, what do you know about the plot of Megalopolis? So what I've heard is that Adam Driver is like this, he's like an architect who's trying to design a new utopia. Yeah. And it's called New Rome. And the whole thing is a big allegory for how, like, so it's called New Rome, but it's very obviously New York, right? Well.

And then, so there's the comparison of the decline, the collapse of the Roman Empire. and how that's mirrored in the American Empire and that's basically all I know about it. Okay, well, first of all, let's just start off with this, okay? Yeah. It's, it is New York, essentially. It's called New Rome. Yeah.

And they're sticking some CGI, like, um... Oh, you're here with no Rome. You want to fucking slice your beaches, some sausage and peppers, all right? That's honestly what it is. Yeah, yeah. We're, like, first of all, they show footage of Ground Zero. Uh-huh. All right, so...

9-11 has happened in New Rome Yeah Okay That's where we got the Leaning Tower of Pisa You know They sort of half-assed it You know

They flew a kite into it Instead of a 747 So yeah So it is New Rome Now it's meant to be Present Day New Rome But I think I mentioned

Like Now a lot is happening I don't think they have internet Okay They have mobile phones They have like They know Frank Sinatra and like Elvis

like all like the popular culture is the same as in our world all right right new Rome okay okay I'm pretty sure I can't confirm now I'm pretty sure one the guys is reading a newspaper like John Weitz reading a newspaper or something and I've got a picture of Michael Jordan on the back

okay now I don't know if it is Michael it was it happened really fast but I thought it was but in fact that they got basketball all that right right I mean the fact is Michael Jordan it looked like it was Michael Jordan like in the 90s so I don't know if just meant to be like a bit of

a trollback just like I know maybe he wrote it in 90s it's like meant to be like 90s New York and he's probably I can't imagine he's too familiar with like you know social media and 24 so I found this very difficult to like follow and I also kind of like I deliberately wasn't really trying to think too much

I was like I'm just going to let's see what happens yeah so let it wash over you Adam Driver is an architect in New York Rome and then Gus Fring is the mayor Okay Giacano Esposito

It's called it's called it's called it But the power dynamics really throw me off here I didn't know exactly what the levels were So there's a mayor And then there's the chief architect To wherever it is, Adam Driver But Adam Driver Seems to have almost as much power

And popularity as the mayor He's got his own police force Oh So architects in this Like are almost like It's like a T-shock and president situation Right, right. He seems to like he's well, like everyone knows who the architect is.

Yeah. If you told me this was written by an architect, it would make a lot more said. Enter the architect. The coolest, handspest guy with the biggest penis. Sidney Sweeney shows up. Oh my God, you're the architect and I suck your dick. Yeah. Well, of course you got, Sidney, sweetie.

And then Francis Fort Coppola comes. it's like, ew, who is that? Whoa, what are you talking about? Fucking smelly greaseball, swamp creature. No, so there's like kind of like a dueling popularity between the mayor and the architect. Like, the architect is like, I want to take down those buildings. The mayor's like, you can't do that.

And it's like, I'll do what I want. So it's like Larry Silverstein during 9-11. It's like, pull it, tower seven, bring it down. I'm an architect. No, you're not. Ah, close enough. But bring it down. Now, I'm just trying to figure out my head where to go next.

So he's so popular Adam Driver, because he's invented a new material. And the material isn't called Megatron. Megatron is a transformer. But it's something like, let's call it Megadon. Okay. Let's say it's called Megadon. So he's got a new material called Megadon. It's the asbestos of New Rome.

Everyone will use it. But, like, it's funny because he's saying this to the mayor and, like, no, concrete, concrete, concrete, concrete. We need concrete and steel. It's like, no, we need Megadon. So it's a new type of material. Yes. Okay. Now, later on, it can heal people. But let's not get to that from a minute. Okay. So he, I don't understand this. So is it almost like a, is it like in a lab or like is it, can he create it via magic or what's going on? No, I think he made it in a lab, but also Adam Driver can stop time in this. Okay. And I don't mean like Zach Morris for his like, you won't believe, you know, I mean. Full Bernard's watch. Francis Ford Coppola was inspired by Bernard's Watch when writing Megalopolis. Struck me.

Intrigued me. So he can stop time. And that actually, how? What's? With his mind. Okay. Yeah. So he has magic powers, all right?

And later on, we find those other people can stop time as well. So that's what I mean. It's not like a narrative thing where he's like, how will I get here? Let's run it back. It's not like that. This is like an actual power he has, not like a stylistic filmmaking choice. Okay. So it's something that exists in the world of film.

Because later on, there's a girl in it from Game of Thrones. Forget her name now. But she's like the main love interest and she's the daughter of Gus Fring. She's the daughter of the mayor. Right. And she. Napoli Dormer? No.

Okay. Swinging a miss. Good, good, Prince Joffrey. No, I just mean like, so he stopped time, but she isn't effective with this. Oh, okay. So he'll stop time, but she's like, oh, I saw you stop time there. And he's like, oh, you intrigue me now. Oh, you stop time, you think you're so great.

I should have married Jonathan Majors. He treated me right. My God, he was a beat you mercilessly. stopped time every time he knocked you unconscious. By the way his girlfriend at the moment is paying all his legal bills. Awesome. How awesome is that? That's great. Terrible

man, Bubba, you know. I'm like, he's sitting on that fucking... He's like, don't worry, babe. Marble will call me back. He's sitting on that creed too, buddy's like, yo, babe, can you uh, come on bitch, let me hold a dollar. Sorry, he doesn't talk like that, I'm sure.

So he can stop time But like Adam Driver It's all about this kind of debate between him and the mayor And they have these debates in public So like let's say like there's a big gala opening for something Oh like a presidential debate No no what I mean is okay So it's big that gala dinner and the mayor's there like

Ah yes all my adoring public And then like is it? Oh, it's the architect. The archer's like, oh, Mr. Mayor, here. Oh, you're enjoying your steel and your concrete. And then Adam Driver recites so much Shakespeare. Oh.

So much. Like, complete passages of Hamlet. That's, because it's so deep, all right? That is an interesting choice. And he's like, you live in the past, all right? Don't let the past stop the future. Come on from the freaks quoting

Shakespeare. Fuck all. No, but I don't understand So the whole thing is Adam Driver wants to build a new city A new utopia Yeah, with this new material And if you build it

Because at the start, they say There's no subtlety in this at all By the way, Larry Fishburn Lawrence Fishburn Oh yes He is the narrator He's the taxi driver He's the maxi taxi of this

Maxi Taxi But he's also like The Narrier Take the red pill And see how so Don't have it whole goes Oh, you know what I mean? You think that's air of your breathing, huh?

He's the unipotent kind of narrator, so he's a taxi driver, but he's way more wise than... You're right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, then like the person who can stop time and create a new material to build a utopia, but he has much to learn from the taxi man. But Larry Fishburn and a star...

He probably lives in a bin like Oscar of the Grudge. Larry Fishburn and the Star, it's all like, When do Empires die? is it slow or quick it's when people stop believing in the empire that they crumble and Adam Driver's like

if we build a new city then people believe in the empire and it's going to turn to a utopia I don't get isn't this gentrification yes like what about the poor people how is it going to affect the poor people

I don't they're not people Brian oh yes you're making a classic mistake there Those, they're not to be considered. I don't, there's very... They don't get invited to the gala. There's very little, um, street level perspective. It's all these people up top discussing these big ideas.

High society. I don't get the sense like, what does the bin man or what does like a guy who works at a factory? What, what's his life like in this world? Yeah. There's no like, you could have done like Adam Driver meets a girl from the slums or something. Right. And then you discuss that. But Adam Driver and this is basically like Jesus.

in the way, like he is morally correct and he's morally right. I think basically, it's a metaphor for art in a way. It was like, you have to create new cities, new art, or dare I say, a new movie. The director is like an architect in a way. I think this is all, this kind of like

a big, like this is like the director, like the ego coming out. It's like, we must save the world by making this new thing. Now, don't listen to the haters. Yeah.

Hashtag block out the haters. Well, it's so funny because just hearing you talk about this, I'm just constantly being reminded of scenes from hearts of darkness where like he's being interviewed and he's like, you know, the worst thing you can do is be pretentious because that means you're trying to, you know, achieve this new like, you know, you're trying to do new things in the world of art, specifically filmmaking, these high concepts. You're trying to incorporate a lot, but also making. it palpable that the average person will enjoy it on a visceral level but the academics can you

know deconstruct it on the cerebral level and if you fail to do that you're just a pretentious douche essentially and then it's just funny to think about that because he's taking a massive swing back then with apocalypse now and a lot of things work against them but overall it's a success here's thing apocalypse now yeah there is some mainstream appeal to that yes we're like even if you You're going to be like, gee, fucking, that was cool. Yeah. Oh, look at an helicopter. Look at the explosion.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ha. Yeah, and the Godfather's like... Charlie don't surf! Like, the Godfathers, like, even if you don't really care to him, it's like, he's shooting someone. That's pretty cool. Where this, like, I don't know how you can make this thing that's going to be any kind of mainstream. Not on about this as mainstream whatsoever. Yeah.

Which, I'm not saying all films do, but you're self-financing this. And it's all your millions. you'd like to make some money back. He like, I think he's invested like a hundred million of his own money into it. And like he sold off his wineries and shit. And also the deal he's done with Lionsgate, I think, to distribute this.

Yeah. They're not on the hook for anything. Wow. Yeah. So Lionsgate, if they make five million, that's all the need to make. And it's just so funny. Just the parallels and I'm sorry to keep going back to it,

but that's a big part of Heart of the Darkness. We're like, okay, so you're way over a budget. The studio won't give you any more money. What are you going to do is like, well, I'm just going to use my own money. And that's the thing. It's a big gamble. Everyone's like, you're crazy.

You're insane. Don't do it. But then that's, he triumphs. It's a success. And I assume that's what he imagined would happen here. It's like, this is going to make apocalypse now look like fucking grown-ups too.

But there's no. Like daddy daycare, man. There's no, like, none of the people like, there's no nudity or like action scenes or much humor or anything. Yeah. It's stuff to appeal to the common, common blue collar.

guy like me, Brian O'Toole. It's just a lot of philosophy. Yeah. I'm not saying that's bad, but like, it's your money, pal. I suppose he's like, I'll be dead soon. What do I care? And the thing is, it's not like he's breaking new ground. Like all of these concepts, you know, this philosophical, you know, comparing the American Empire to the collapse of the Roman empire. That has been, you know, people have been doing that for fucking... There's no subtlety. Like, Adam Driver is called Caesar.

Yeah. They're all got Roman names. They're in a place called New Rome. Yeah. They actually say empires are dying, whether it's Rome or... Hey, it's me, Caesar Giddywap.

And, uh, yeah. So just to get back to this, because there's some funny stuff in it. How much time do you have left to? It's freebie. We'll go a little long. No, we're grand, we're grand, okay?

So, now I'm trying, again, I'm trying to get my head what's going on. So I think John Voight is like from a rich family. He's like the patriarch of this rich family. Right. That includes,

like Rocky's wife Oh yes Talia Shire And then The guy who Oh sorry Even Stevens Shai La Booth

Sorry I don't know what's wrong On me there Shia La Booh And other people as well So they're like a rich family And Adam Driver is like Connect to the rich family I think like

John Voight is uncle Or something I can't remember exactly Even that is an interesting Like that's another decision That's got to go against you In terms of the critics because Shia LeBuff

and John Voight for different reasons are sort of persona non-grada. You don't cast them anymore. John Voight is honestly one of the best parts of this film. It is one scene at the end that almost redeems the movie. Wow. And I loved it. Okay.

Ironically, no. And Aubrey Plaza is actually just good. Okay. She's good. So she plays something like Max Proximia or something like that. Or her character? I've heard this, her name is Wow Platinum. Yeah, Wow Platinum, that's it.

And I remember that, because that has to be the most ridiculous character name I've ever heard. So she's Wow Platinum, and she's like a news reporter. So it's like a lot of, like, it's a way to get exposition. It's like, coming live, it's, uh, wow platinum. And we're here with Mr. Caesar, the architect. Uh-huh. But she's actually banging Caesar.

Of course. Uh, and they have some very, uh, I don't know. I think Adam Driver, I don't. I won't say he's a bad actor But in this He gave him some really weird things to say At least with Aubrey Plaza She's playing like just pure evil

But even she has stuff was like You're so anal I want to get oral She says you know Stuff like that I was like Like a kind of soft core Skinimax flick

From the 90s There's a bit in it people making fun On Twitter or like Adam Driver It's like Oh yeah you want to go To the club Oh He says it like a weird way

where I don't know I don't know I'm going to blame the director not Adam Driver Yeah because like You've seen him do good work But he comes off very I'm going to say

Autistic in this And weird And super serious Yeah But I think he's just lost He doesn't know what way to play it He's not fun And he has the most dialogue

That's the worst dialogue Yeah But The most kind of pretentious And self-indulgent Yeah He's just saying Hamlet Yeah

But like Arby Plas has a wants more power and Adam Driver won't marry her so she ends up marrying I think in the end Shia La Booth Shia La Booth and this

is also a trans or kind of semi-trans Oh he likes to dress up as a woman and kind of like touch people and stuff huh and there's like

I think he'd say he's like banging his sisters and stuff you know he's a real menace you know no he's pretty fun actually as well really because I heard

I you know just because I had heard that Kermode like went off on it so I just watched what Kormode said and he was like it was the worst performance

of Shilabuff's career I hated him it was detestable I don't know if he actually means that or of just saying it because that's a rather in vogue stance to take now

I won't join the Shai LaBouf bandwag I won't be like I'm team Shia I mean he's not bad it's way worse it's way worse in the film I thought fucking Dustin Hoffman

was kind of laugh like he's the fixer to tell you that he plays to be like I'll knock your block up Don't worry boss I'll sort them out I know how old he is but I wouldn't be surprised

If he was dead if he was dead right now He's old as fuck Yeah, he is old He's like money has dried up considerably Since he got, you know, me too So Is that true? I mean, I would imagine so

His career maybe But all those guys, they have like money He has money that he has But he has no more income He won't be in the new Fantastic Four movie. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He has no money coming in. So because of that, I imagine you have to downscale or downsize your lifestyle to appropriate for the fact that you've got less money.

There's a lot of scenes in this, by the way, a lot of crowd scenes that are like very small. Ah, yeah. And a lot of times when it's like meant to be people in the background, it's just like Hoffman or something. I'm just like, let's just use him, okay? Yeah. So he's in the background a lot. But anyway, so, oh, I can't really figure out how to talk with this film properly. A lot of it is just, like, montages and stuff.

And they kind of look like montage is where if you look up, like, online, like, cool, trippy montages, take mushrooms too. Right. It's all that kind of, like, you know, dumb stuff. Like a flower turns into five flowers. Right, right, right. Okay. So I just from the trailer, there was lots of, like, scenes of, like, big statues coming to life. Yeah, that's just like, that's just all.

the visuals. It's not really anything to do anything. Is that just, like, is that in somebody's imagination, or is that something that actually happens, you know? Like, that's sort of the Simpsons where all the billboards come to life, you know? Who knows, man, who knows? Don't what the monsters.

Don't want the monsters. Oh, another thing you just remember now, like, they start off with saying Adam Driver's wife was, I think, killed and her body disappeared. Uh-huh. And then at one stage, I think the hint that the mayor knows about this. He's like, oh, I'll tell people about your disappeared wife.

And only they ever mentioned that again. Yeah. At the end, Adam Driver, spoilers, Adam Driver and the mayor are best friends at the end. Okay. And they never mention a dead wife. Right. Also, there's a character on it who, the whole thing is she's a virgin. She's like a pop star.

She's the virginal pop star. Yeah. She's like a young girl, like 20. Okay. That was kind of Britney Spears's whole thing. It's funny because I read her. review where they're like this is Adam this is Francis for Coppola must

like he's stuck in the 90s like oh Britney Spears the big one now yeah like so just from what you're hearing so this Britney Spears type character there's a reference to Jordan there's cell phones but no social media I don't know it could be it all happened so fast honestly yeah I don't know what I saw

but she's a virgin at least the market is a virgin but then like I think John Voight or someone leaks out a video of her having sex with Adam Driver used to discredit

Adam Driver and then the virgin pop star becomes more like I ain't gonna do what you tell me you know

becomes more like when Miley Cyrus started twirking at the VMA yeah yeah but I don't know she's in her

bad bitch era but I don't know what the point that was yeah sorry if I seen a bit confused

no man that's what everyone says everyone's like it's just a jumbled mess. It's in point. I'll tell you, if I think of an thing in the middle, a lot of the middle

is just a big circus. And I mean literally a circus. Yeah. Like, they go a circus and people doing trapeze and stuff and they keep cutting the John Voip being like, this is great. And then they go back like, you know. Holy shit. Look at that guy. She had a little Asian boy there flipping around. No, it's a bit where they're

doing, like, you know, like the trapeze stuff. Yeah. And it's a bit where, like, one of the trapeze artists on purpose, like falls and they scare someone to catch it at the last second. And John Foy's like, they got me. They got me. I thought he's going to fall. You know, but anyway, a satellite crashes into the city and just kills, I think, like a million people.

Right. And that's not really an important plot point, really. Do we see it? Like, do they show it? Yeah, they do in a kind of, like, trippy way. Yeah. And then the next big thing

is like a little boy shoots Adam Driver in the head And he honestly He looks the exact same Speaking of Gus Fring You know Gus Fring loses half his head Yes He looks the exact same as that

So it's like there's exposed bone Wow like a two-faced situation No I mean like his head is All the flesh is just gone The eye is gone Adam Driver is just a big fucking hole In his head but then they use melodon

and with melodon they actually grow his head back why did the kids shoot him I think he's working for someone okay maybe John Voight yeah so he's okay then right and then

I'm just gonna get to the best scene I don't get for the fuck right yeah this might make me laugh so hard so now Aubrey Plaza has married Shai LaBouf okay right and I think Shia LaBouf is like the son of John Voight. So John

Foyd's dying, alright? And he's okay, I gotta guess right. He's dressed like Robin Hood and he's on, in his deathbed. John Voight is dressed like Robin Hood? Robin Hood, yeah. He's got a little green hat. He's in his deathbed. He's like, I'm

dying son. Yeah. Looks like you'll be the new one in charge. I swear to God, it's Charlotte Booth and Aubrey Plaza, okay? Yeah. In this room. and John Vice's like Hey, check out the boner

I got. There's a big like boner under the sheets Okay. He's like Hey, one last boner. Okay. I'm like Shail the Boob's like, yeah, dad. He's still got he's like, guess what? And he pulls the sheets off. He's got

a little bow and arrow. Okay. What the fuck? And he shoots Aubrey Plaza in the chest goes like, take that whore. And he does The shot of him, okay I can't do it justice on the podcast But it's him like

Moving around the bed With a little bone arrow I got like his tongue sticking out He's like Leigh Like that He's like It's like

It looks so Unprofessionally shot Why? And he shoots Like Shire the Booth in the ass He's like dead No runs off

You know Oh my God And then That's so bizarre And then John Voight dies, and then Shaila boots in charge. I think the crowd turns to them and then, like, strings him up, kind of like Mussolini. Oh, my God, wow. Yeah, and then...

And did Aubrey Plaza die as well? She's dead, yeah, yeah. And then, um, happily, be happy, no, uh, Adam Driver marries, uh, the mayor's daughter. Okay. Now, him and the daughter and the mayor are all best friends. Yeah. And she has a son. Or a daughter, forget, some kind of kid, okay?

Yeah. Oh, a daughter, I think is, yeah, yeah. And then they build a new utopia, and it's perfect. There's, like, flying cars and stuff. Awesome. And they've got, like, a little girl now. And the final shot is them all weirdly shot angles. Like, shot from above, like, just standing on glass or something.

Okay, yeah. I suppose it's kind of impressive in a way. Like, some work went into it anyway. Yeah, yeah. Compared to the John Voight scene. But, like, the final scene is they're all standing there having fun, then the baby stops time. So the baby's got these powers as well

And then we cut to like Like what was carved in stone Like the new pledge of allegiance Right, right So I forget It's something like I pledge as a member of the planet earth You know

As all these children narrating it Yeah Yeah And what's the last sign to pledge allegiance again Sorry I kind of like The visible under God I pledge allegiance to the flag One nation under God

Yeah, whatever it is, yeah. It's the children reading it and then the children fade away and there's this Larry Fishburn and we're like, Under God the end.

And that's how it ends. Wow. And a lot other stuff happened as well and just like just like, I don't know if your dream sequences like Adam Driver

running through glass and stuff. Right, right. Yeah, I don't know what the fucking point was. I definitely wouldn't be like you have to experience it on the big screen. Yeah.

No. No, you could just watch it. Or just not watch it. Yeah. That would be like a... I almost don't want to... I don't want to enable something like this. Because it was like, it's great that people can still make big failures like this.

Yeah. No, actually, no, it's not. Really? Yeah. I'd rather watch Antimann. Quantumania. Yeah, yeah. I mean, a little part of me does kind of think it wouldn't be cool if he defied all the odds and like, you know...

If he even made a movie... Recouped his money. If he just made a movie that, like, if you made something like a three out of ten, I'd be like, fair play, don't, you know? But I just don't like this. You know what, man? This is the only way he can make any money now.

Like, he is persona non-grada. So your career is already done forever. He needs to just come out, Godfather four, Pacino, just fucking, you know. Pacino, like, he gets involved with some drill rap. And like, you know, what you have to is Pacino finds a time machine goes back dead

It's the Nero Well, Dad, what are you doing now? Why are you buying oranges? They're going to shoot you. Freedos a goddamn retard. Like, honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he's like, with CGI now, we can have him go back in time

to the first movie. Oh, Dad, don't put butter up her ass. You'll get in trouble. well uh yeah i mean another big thing about sorry interrupt there another big thing is the whole like all this is so overblown so everyone's like this is so freaking insane oh my god it isn't and they're like there's a bit where they break the fourth wall it's so fucking umbo oh yeah you know it's not it's just like a question answer it's like it's like adam driver caesar's character he's talking to a journalist

so you don't need the responses and they get some like oh yeah that part sorry yeah the big kind of I thought it was actually going to be like

they break like we're in a movie aren't we you know or something but it's just like to get some bored concession worker come out

in like an old fucking journalist hat you know excuse me Mr. Driver what do you think about a new Rome is it true

that Francis Ford Coppola sexually harassed the extras next question that would be quite funny you make that work he's like yes I agree because he's like

because it's like you know a pause for a second you know and he's like yes we must build the city oh wait so when you watch

it though they didn't do that in the cinema where you saw no of course not no Santry alright

yeah pal watch the story which is our new row ah ya lad from Star Wars yeah I don't call oh rain

watch the story pal go and brick tonight boys you know yeah you honestly wouldn't even notice

I mean I don't know what to say about it I'm going to just look through and see if I forgot anything it was nice to see Talia Shire and something No it isn't Okay yeah I'm gonna make sure you edit that power out

That was at the 50 minute Park take that out Yeah no that's good You know good for her I'm just trying to remember I'm just going to go through real quick to see what else happens here I've never

I can't remember the last time something was so universal panned and hated. I mean, what would have been the last thing that everybody hated this much?

Game of Thrones finale maybe? Probably, yeah. You know? Like, some of this like, it's such, like,

so immediately becomes like a thing which is like, it's like the game I just like the, you know, there's a signfeld finale. It's like that

and you can get it last right away because everyone knows that you're talking about everyone hates as well. Yeah. And then there's all,

it's going to be some guy who's like online as well as all these people like, actually it's a work of genius. 50 years from now people will say it's better

in Godfather one and two combined but I disagree yeah I remember Chloe Findens in it you know her

oh from S&L yeah that's cool she's in it there's so much of this by the way is just like the women watching

so like it's a real kind of like a gladiators type thing where all this stuff goes on there's all these women from the size

like ha ho oh it's like a almost like Statler and Wardoff kind of thing where like

they keep cutting to women so that's their kind of like oh my good he said oh it's the architect I think that I think the Shaila Booth is quite handsome Yeah

One bit did make you laugh for like It's a bit where like they're going to some like I think they're going to the Coliseum It's like a new reporter that's not wild platinum By the way because the stage she's left She's now part of the family And look at that family there Rumors they're all steep with each other

That just made me laugh Because it's just like I was kind of hoping maybe be like an Alex Jones time's like They're all goddamn pedophile vampires having sex with each other. No, it's all kind of like, you're like, huh, well, how, isn't that funny?

Yeah. Yeah, her name's Natalie Emmanuel. That's the name of the girl who, she's been Hollyoaks, this one here, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, very good. And Game of Toronto. Yeah, she's the one kind of love interest, but she has nothing to do really.

She's kind of response. She's like, her job is to fall in love at Caesar because he's so, he's so fucking great. Yeah. And he created Melodon. So, I mean, I, yeah, it's, oh, it's called Megalon. megalon right you aren't too far off

I mean it's yeah it's not like it's like you got the name wrong you fucking it's all stupid yeah yeah I mean I don't know like so he's just bankrupted himself financially and I mean his career

his reputation has been in the gutter for decades now like he hasn't people have said the last good movie he made was the vampire one and even that was pretty stupid Dracula yeah Dracula's good. Yeah, but like there's parts of it, like

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's terrible, yeah. There's a lot of good stuff in Dracula from what I remember. There's a lot more like, creative stuff on that. Like, just like, um, like shadow puppets at one stage.

Yeah. Different kind of things of film and that. They're pretty fun. But like, but yeah. He's made, he's made some colossal pieces of dog shit like Jack, for example. That'd be the big one. But then he's made.

Yeah, everyone forgets about Jack. But he's made so many films that you've never, heard of. Nobody even mentions some, be it positively or negatively, you know what I mean? So just to go through, no, I didn't, so just to go through this real quick. So first one he did was dementia 13. Yeah. Which is something like horror film. Yeah. Then he's done like, you're a big boy now, Finian's rainbow, the rain people. I've never heard any of those. Then the Godfather, the conversation, Godfather 2, Pockatives now. Yes. That was his, that was him peak. Like that was, you know, he was. He was.

is a part of that whole new Hollywood thing and then he sort of yeah he sort of did for a while he was kind of the front runner as he is the best like he's better than Spielberg De Palma Scorsese and then obviously that is not

well just to go to it's actually interesting how few these I know so the next one was one from the heart which is a musical comedy where people never heard of yeah okay and that was a huge failure then the outsiders now people know that outside I've never seen it

it's i mean it's kind of it's good it's got a bunch of like you know of the brat pack 80s heartthrobs then rumblefish yeah i've heard that's good i've never seen it but i've heard it's decent it's matt dillon and micky rourke yeah yeah and the cotton club peggy sue got married yeah those the cotton club's actually based in a real thing i think it's a true story so just so after dracula okay so godfire tree jacula jacula jacula it Jackula Well there's Jack The rain Oh ho ho I'm a little boy

But I also want to suck your blood Oh ho I'm 10 years old I look 50 Oh ho Transylvania Oh yes Trans what Shire La buff

Plays a Transylvania The new film Now have you ever seen The Rainmaker No but I've heard that's good Matt Damon I actually watched half of this On Netflix

Is it a Tom Clancy I think Or no Who is that other John Grisham I think it's good It's all about a young lawyer and he falls in love with someone

who fights corruption yeah yeah then he's done like yeah tetro and twicks never heard uh and then megopolis yeah he's an interesting fellow and he dedicated to his wife as well it's pretty funny because she died in April

2024 and he's like time to get touching yes there's a leaked video of him on set like touching and kissing the extras without their permission or knowledge I imagine now because they have all the celebrities out at the moment

like the Aubrey Plaza and that doing a lot of the publicity for this and like Chloe Fienin and that and they're all like talking about like like it was a crazy set we had so much fun and like it was a wild blast but I imagine

in the next few years we'll probably get some good juicy stuff out of it. Yeah. Now you did mention that like a like a Heart of Darkness style documentary would be way more interesting in the film itself. Way more interesting yeah which would be good but it was his wife that actually directed a heart

of darkness. Oh well she's dead now. She's dead She's dead, no, yeah. He probably killed her, so she couldn't. I want to watch, people are talking about online, apparently did some screening in New York and afterwards did like a Q&A. Yeah. But it's a weird one now.

They had Spike Lee De Niro and Francis For Coppola come out. The pussy posse, posse. Yeah, to disgust the film. Apparently, De Niro is quite bored. He's like, why am I here? Yeah. The Donald Chump.

what did Spike Lee have to say about it I think it was just like you know Yeah It's a pretty cool film Yeah Frank Francis A lot of crackers in that new role man

What's going on Anyway we're almost down now we're there Yeah I don't I don't mind I feel like I'm forgetting a lot about it I mean A lot of this is like Densen visuals happen

It's long isn't it It's like two and a half hours Yeah It felt very long Is it you By yourself Would you bring the woman I brought the woman, yes?

Did she love it? No. Did you like critique her on the drive home? It's like, yeah, did you get all the literary references, did you? Yeah, did you get the allegory of the crumbling empires? Did you? I actually... I tell you one thing you didn't get was the back of Malteseers

that I told you in a death, you bitch! I needed those. My doctor said, I need them. I have hypoglycemia, you ho. I have a little bow and arrow I wish I wish I could show you downstairs but it's not on YouTube yet but he's like he literally

he's wiggling around with little arrow where his dick he has it down where his dick is okay he's like yeah take that you whore is it like a crossbow or an actual bow and arrow with a little bow and arrow it's so bizarre maybe it's actually maybe it's a crossbow I don't know man it happens so fast

even still it's fucking stupid but yeah but yeah Everyone seems to hate it. Like, who, have you seen anybody tried to defend it? Online, yeah? Yeah?

Oh, on letterbox and all that. You're like, oh. Finally, I've watched a film to end all films now. I mean, are people just trolling, though, maybe? Because that's, you know? Maybe, yeah. I think everyone's trolling at all times, you know?

Yes, yeah. When they tell me to stop, I'm like, no, you're trolling. Yeah. Or when she says, I love you. Ah, trolling. You do the troll face. But on the Patreon we can talk about way better films I watch Apartment 7A

I've never heard of that Yeah these films are not good But they're better than Megalopolis Yeah I let myself believe a little bit I was like I knew it would be bad Like I was never like

This is going to be good Yeah But I was like Oh maybe it's be like a really interesting You know it's actually offensive People are comparing to Southland Tales Oh Southland Tales

Fuck off all right Southland Tales is actually good You've been flying the flag For Southland Tales for a while Southland Tales, man You got a fucking The Rock When he's actually a normal human being

You know, he's actually playing a character You got a Stiffler Yeah You got John Lovitz And Wallace Sean It's Dude

Buffy's in it man Like it is so good And to compare the two Because you know They're both about like You know America and like You know things going to shit

And like one The Ombolus And they're kind of like bizarre and out there. And they're both like films that were like hyped up a lot

and there were big big failures. I don't think Megopolis will ever get an honest reappraisal. I think some people really like kind of like

oh actually said a lot in a way I wouldn't believe those cuns but Southland Tales you need to watch that man I love that film

I do I will watch I cannot believe how funny that is like if you told me Chris Morris did a write up of that I believe it yeah

as a real kind of like if you took like a jam like jam of Chris Morris like that level maybe I'm overhyping a bit now but I feel like it's just really stand on business dog

it's really fucking good and compare it to that just because they're two like failures is I think a disservice to whatever to fuck that guy who directed it was it Richard Kelly

Donnie Darko whatever's name is yeah yeah yeah yeah he did Donnie Darko sat on tails and did he do the box now the box I will not defend well

that's where I could no I don't the box is pretty stupid from what I remember it's more like the horizon that Kevin Costner film oh shit yeah it's more like that we're like oh really came and went nobody even bothered well there's three more

coming yeah and Kevin Costor's like come on Kevin Costa borrowed money from Coppola so yeah they're both kind of struggling now but I don't