Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 243 : Hollywood's Biggest Night

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

Brian got a little too giddy this week, I'll make sure he calms down by next week.

like Eminem in the early. Remember Eminem used to come out with the chainsaw and a hockey mask? Can you turn on? Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be there, Mr. Eminem, it's unsafe. He's just very carelessly flaunting that chainsaw. Mr. Eminem, I don't know if you realize this, but that's actually a homophobic lyric, just in case. And quite sexist as well, I guess your poor mother. I made a guy called Brian O'Toole. He was a fool because he just wasn't cool in school. That may be true, Ebidem, but I could say something by you as well. Empty vessels make the loudest noises, sir.

Yeah, yeah. I thought eight miles was sub-power of best. Oscar winning. Put some fucking respect on his day. I can't even, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you watch the Oscars? No. No one did.

You know, actually, I swear to God, it's true. More people watch the chase on a random Wednesday. I swear to God, then watch. the Oscars, yeah. Oh, my God. Bradley Walsh must be feeling pretty good right about now. Bradley Walsh should buy and sell

all those bums at the Oscars, yeah. Where was Bradley Walsh at the Oscars? He's literally bigger than them. Yeah. No one watched it and it gets, the ratings get worse and worse every year.

Yeah. And the Oscars people are always like, how do we get the young people? They like, they think that they can turn this around and they can make the Oscars cool again, all right? So they're like, look at the Grammys.

The Grammys are fun because you can get people out there and they can do songs and songs sell people like, hey, how about Elton John Eminem or something like that, you know? Something kind of weird and kooky. Like, S&L, Paul Simon, Sabrina Carpenter.

Oh, that's the... But with the Oscars, they're movies. So you can't really do that. So what they do a lot is to get, like, Al Pacino fucking, like, his brain's gone. He's like, hey, meet the fuckers, or whatever, yeah. Do they do little sketches in between? No, not really.

They do, like, monologue jokes. And this year, they did a tribute to James Bond. oh I saw it out with Margaret Qualley Yeah and a bunch of other people like From Pink Print and that Just doing like you know Interpretive dance Yeah just nonsense yeah

And yeah it's getting worse and worse Conan did a good job Like you know Considering it's a shit gig It's a bad gig It's renowned for being terrible Like if you host the Oscars And the next day

People aren't going You're a worthless cunt You should kill yourself Yeah You did a good job It is funny And people are like No one cares about the Oscars

but then when the host is doing like, you're rooting the Oscars! The sanctity! Like Neil Patrick Harris, everyone's like he bombed or fucking James Franco and Anne Hathaway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like if you do bad at the...

What's a notoriously difficult job, it's so impossible to do well that everyone's like, yeah, you're a stupid con. Everyone, the Oscars should just be non-televised. Just release an email. Be like, here are the winners. Yeah.

That's it. Yeah, yeah. I think... Like a... Paper boy Extra Extra Read all about it

Yeah Yeah Did you watch Adrian Brody's speech No Adrian Brody Who by the way Used AI

Yes People are very Anti Agent Brody now He didn't do himself Any favours You know he threw To gum

That was insane I could not Like how did he think That was gonna go It doesn't look Great throwing gum At your girlfriend Your woman

Is like take my gum You dumb bitch And she She cashed like a dog In her mouth Right between her tits Well you know what's kind of, I'll be honest with you, I saw that

and I was like, oh, it's terrible throwing gum at a woman. But in the comments... What a waste of gum. But in the comments, I saw one girl being like, I think it's actually sexy when a guy throws gum at me. I was like, oh, my dear, marry me. Did you say gum or gum? Because I've got both

and I'm willing to throw. I'm a little gum gum, gumpsters. Yeah. Yeah, and then he got up there, and then he kind of, he silenced the music and all that. He did a long, rambling speech. The second longest in history? Longest.

Oh, the longest. Longest, the longest, yeah, yeah. Wow. And, yeah, so... He's like, I'm going to wrap it up soon, don't worry. And just kept going to her, like, four minutes. And what was he even saying, just... Not just nonsense, you know, thanking God and all that.

Yeah, yeah. He thanked, uh, you know, his missus, who is Harvey Weinstein's ex-wife. It'd be funny if he was like, and shout out to Harvey. We're co-parenting. He's doing a great job. There's a lot of naysayers out there. a lot of haters we're with you harvey and uh don't worry harvey your swimming pool is still fabulous i'm in it every day butt-fucking your ex-wife while your sexually confused sun

looks out through the window through a telescope i bought it that's only slightly bigger than my nose it's a big nose what there's not like there's no two ways of It is quite a big nose. It's a big nose. Those nostrils were... Like manhole covers. Jesus Christ. When I was watching the Brutelist,

it was some scenes where it was like Barry Corbett must know what he's doing. He's very focused on those nostrils, you know? You can see yourself in them, like, you know, the darkness. You get fit an entire where is Waldo in one of his nostrils, you know what I mean?

Like, it's just... Yeah, look, don't just... I think Adrian Brody is a very good actor. It's an interesting career he's had because he had, obviously, you know, like, early success. Yes. 22, whoever won the Oscar, best actor, it's a pretty big deal. What was that, the pianist?

The penis, yeah. His friend Roman Polanski. A great man. He's a big defender of, yeah, yeah. You and... He signed a letter, didn't he? Yeah, well, do you honestly, that letter, everyone signed it. Yeah.

Like, he'd be hard pressed to find anyone who didn't sign it. It was even longer than his nose. All right, that's it. No, not again. Stop that, though. No, it's getting... Oh, you know. Oh, I'll go for the trifecta

and you won't even see it coming, baby. I'm just that good. Anyway, yeah, a lot of people signed the letter Defendant Plano. Yeah, yeah. So when he accepted the Oscar 2002 for the P&ST, got up and without asking permission, started making out with Hallie Berry.

Yeah, yeah, just kissed her out or consent. Yeah. And then he was like, I'm king of the world, basically. He went on SNL and stuff. How about a Jamaican, Lorne? And they were like, do not do a Jamaican accent? He's like, I'm going to do what I want. Yeah, and he just did it.

And then he kissed Lorne, that was consent. Well, I'm sure you've already, you've made your bed, now you've got a lie in it. I'm not letting you back. Ross Clot, bumba clod, you let me. I want the Oscar and ting your bloody bumblecloth. He did Cheat Hanks before Cheat Hanks basically. He was a revolutionary.

Well, he, so then, like, he was in all these fucking bum-ass films, It's like inappropriate comedy and all that Like real cheap, shoy And even like he's in like He's like fort build In like a Predator's movie Yeah, like his career really did go to shit For a while there

And I heard that it's like known that Whenever he's on a set filming anything He'd be real fucking mopey guts Being like, you know how hard it is Yeah I won an Oscar And now they kick me to the curb And now I'm here doing a comedy

With Ari Shefeer I shouldn't even know his name yeah like he's just a fucking mopey guts yeah and just like very this is the script should have this you should do the camera like this blah blah blah you know yeah real ego

and like he does weird he's seen his Instagram videos he does very weird like videos like just face the camera walk around the streets being like hey guys it's a wonderful day yeah it's a wonderful day he's clearly mental

like he is that typical just like so Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder just that completely demented, you know, method actor just gone with the fairies. Like, he's not the only example, but he's a great

you know, he's kind of the epitome of all the stereotypes and the cliches. And distance from real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man, fucking... He has his own art gallery. Does he? Of course he does. He's like an artist. Yeah. It's just weird because I remember

like in like 2016 he was in like a made for TV Houdini movie. that I watched that wasn't very good and I was like Jesus that guy won an Oscar that's mad you know and now he's back and I bet he just goes straight back to that afterwards inappropriate comedy too

that's what he wants I can finally get made it's so funny that like to kind of claw his way back to like the top of the mountain you know he's the epitome of success and he kind of has already fucked his image again by being such a douche

he'll do well like he'll fucking probably end up knowing his look he'll end up getting another Oscar fucking, yeah, he just fall into him like by accident. He just has a Tesco shopping bag with a fetus inside it

and he flings it and a veteran. Oh, sorry about that. Anyway, does a 12 minute long speech. He gets up to the Oscars there's a role of firemen and he just spits on each fireman.

And then, like he said, yeah, he's just like, I'm just going to play my audio book for this, except in speech. Yeah, fuck it, it's so long, dude. Yeah. The whole thing is, like, even said beforehand,

do not do long speeches, all right? Yeah. People don't like it. It makes you look weird. You are weird. Less the better. These good actors are all like empty vessels inside.

Yes, yeah. And they're kind of like, it's weird. They're almost like pod people in a way. Just can't, they can't interact. Like, they can do a very good scene

of like interacting with someone with eye contact and like reacting and all that. Yeah. But then in real life, it's almost like, they're like, uh, where's my gum?

Give me back my gum, bitch. He throws the gum with her. She stole my gum. Police. Yeah, they're just, the best actors aren't real people. They're just like these empty shells that can kind of convey what they need to at any given time. But we actually sit them down. Like, for example, De Niro was on.

The Niro's a great example, yeah. Okay, so De Niro was on, I think it was Colbert there recently. And Colbert's like, you know, you're one of the people I still get going to star-struck by. And you're such a legend. Is there anyone that you're a star struck by? Like, who are your heroes? And he just goes, well, the capital police. Oh, really, yeah?

That's who you admire. Some fucking fat dip shit who's a security guard in Washington. That's who you admire Robert De Niro. Got killed by his own heart. Yeah, yeah. Like, just they have no real opinions about anything. And even like his politics, you know, it's like, Trump is a chump. And he's a Trump.

And that's what Trump is. the Trump's jump. He's a dog. He's a worthless piece of garbage. Don't look into the 1998 child sex ring that I was involved in in France. Which he wasn't involved in by the way. Oh, was he not? No, he wasn't. That was a misunderstanding. Oh, okay. What happened? Happened to me as well. He just wanted a baguette. I want a burnt baguette and that's like the version of Pizza Gate. Likeette Gate. Crossont Gate. But yeah, so what else? I tell you, I did watch, sorry, just to interrupt there, I did watch a bit of Zero Day.

Oh shit. Yeah. The new Robert De Niro show. And it's like shite, like it's not very interesting or anything, yeah. It's like 24. Yeah, there's like a cyber attack and they don't know who, it could be radical leftists, could be like

ISIS, it could be QAnon. QAnon, yeah, yeah. It's like, who is it? You know, you can't trust anyone. Yeah. And he's like the former president. He's like Joe Biden in the way. Right. He's a noble man who just cares about his country too much. Cyber attack, man

It's goddamn to Trump's here I was in French, 1998 A pitified ring I said, what are you talking about? Man, I don't need, I got a I got an engagement ring I got my wife, man And like, the bit that he made me laugh

In the show, the bit was like, okay, it's not a real show You know, it's just like a Netflix Yeah, AI written shite, okay? So there's a terrorist attack They have attacked our computers Your favorite thing, you know, the internet Yeah You know, porn, they've attacked Pornhub, all right?

Pornhub is down and also the airports and shit, all right? How are the pilots meant to jerk off? That's health and safety. They'll be very nervous up in the sky. There's a guy on a ventilator and he's got his phone. He's like, no! I can't jerk off. I dies.

What about all the terminal children in the hospice who can't bash the bishop to, you know, J-O-I compilations? to like stuck in washing machine stuck and washing machine in hospice stuck well I guess if you're on dialysis that's kind of a version of stuck porn isn't it Brad what are you doing in that dialysis machine they're cleaning my kidneys mom I've got severe organ failure

oh but your penis is still much bigger than your father's that didn't happen well it should it should happen if any balls yeah yeah yeah but anyway so like terrorist tech has happened

alright and for some reason I think something crashed into a building alright so there's rubble there's people in the rubble alright

and De Niro's like hey we gotta get these guys out they're Americans they got to get them out it's what Americans do we stick together we're Americans and he's like one ass

who's like, actually, no, they're crisis actors. This is a conspiracy. He's like, hey, this is America. We don't talk about that. It's about people helping people. You know, whether politics or not, it's about Americans.

The guy's like, you've convinced me, I'm wrong. I no longer believe in conspiracy theories now. I'm quite silly. That's all it takes. Yeah, yeah. He just takes one conversation. I should say, hey, that's kind of weird. Oh, my God, you're right.

Alex Jones is actually a bit rude. A bit loud for my taste now. But so, then, how much, what else happens in there? Nothing really interesting. It's just a bunch of like, who did it? Did you do it? Did they find out who did it? Um, do you want to know?

Yeah? I skipped ahead. I don't care. I read the summary on Wikipedia. I don't care about anything, dude. It's, whoa, Cam. He gives a shit, man. This guy doesn't care.

about Robert De Niro. Zero day. Zero gay Nero. Yeah. That's good. That became my drag name, actually. Gwa. I forgot.

Zero to gay Nero. Zero gay Nero. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't at all. Who would be your target audience? I write Robert and zero. Rob. Bob.

No. There you go. I'm not good at rapping. Was that a cipher? That was your cipher? Okay. That was your five fingers of death sway in the morning. No, so basically it was just a guy in the American intelligence did it to bring people together.

Oh. Yeah, that's it. Oh. False flag to bring everyone together. Yeah, that's how it works. That's it, yeah, yeah. Anyway, like 9-11. No, no, not like that atollage.

You didn't listen to Nero's speech, you? So yeah, the Oscars, it seemed like it was a big upset year where all the underdogs kind of won or the... I don't think anyone expected Mikey Madison to win. No, I see. Yeah, Mikey did a lot of acting, you know. She, like, I liked Debbie Moore, but I wouldn't give her the Oscar for a substance.

Why, because she's an old hag and doesn't even deserve to be considered human, Brian? No, I thought that until I watched the substance. Now, then I realized there's actually a hot. hot woman inside her. And I'm like, where is she? She's 62, man. Yeah. She looks incredible. Yeah, Adrian Brody shouldn't have won.

Okay. Zoe Saldana shouldn't have won either. No. She was bad. That was embarrassing. Her mommy. Yeah. That was kind of sexy actually, to be honest.

Yeah, it kind of reminded me of the dialysis stockpour and I was watching. Mommy, I'm on dialysis, mommy. Yeah, so it's funny, like, Zoe Saldana wins for a film and they're almost afraid to talk with the film because of all the controversy and all that. They don't mention the star of the film because of the controversy. Also, like that Carla Sophia, whatever her name is, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She tweet all this stuff.

And now it's on the kind of PR move where it's like, ha ha, it's a bit silly, isn't it? Your publicist wasn't happy? Ah, you're right, yeah. Like, it's pretty disgusting shit, she posted, right? And they're kind of like, ah, yeah. We all make mistakes. One, just all it needed was one zinger from Conan O'Brien and it's all forget. And I didn't mention trans people in the Oscar speeches.

And then directly afterwards, there's, like, Mexican reporters are like, will you apologize because you're acting was so shit? You know, like, it's not a great look. I think it'll be a film that, like, almost instantly will be looked at as, like, that was embarrassing. Kind of like a Green Book situation was like, wow. Yeah. But, like, at least Green Book, it was like a little bit afterwards.

This is during the PR campaign for it. Everyone was like, this is actually terrible. Yes. like the thing is the initial controversy was that not even about her it was about hey this fellow sucks yeah that's the biggest controversy it's a piece of shit it's shoy and then oh and she's racist but yeah it's really bad also like it's so boring as well like it should have been directed by ryan murphy okay then it would have been fun like make it just pure trash even as like a musical it wasn't it didn't seem very musical it wasn't they weren't

songs. They're more like talking in a rhyming way. Penis to vagina. Well, that song was good. Oh, you like that? Oh, man, I loved that. Was that the one they won the Oscar for?

No, no. Okay. Amelia, do you see that? Oh, who the fuck was that? That was, like, costume design or like songwriter or something like that. That's why you never let the plebs on stage. They always embarrassed themselves.

Amelia. Yeah, it was terrible, yeah. It was very cringe. The whole thing was a giant cringe fest, Brian. Stop talking like a young person. okay the whole thing

was a bloody pooh I don't know I was gonna say a slur but then I didn't so that beep can be whatever slur your heart desired yeah

what else went on in the Oscars I'm trying to think that was kind of like the two the big moments it was good to see Sean Baker

get some recognition a lot of recognition they're coming after Sean Baker though oh yeah so Sean Baker I'm a big fan of his work

you know but he's kind of got a weird kind of Twitter history. I've seen the stuff he likes. No. So Sean Baker likes loads of like Kyle Rittenhouse stuff and he also

likes a lot of like sexy ladies of the IDF. Oh. Yeah. Some of them are quite sexy. They are pretty, regardless of your political you know, genocide but titties. And he also like likes a lot of stuff about like, you know kind of like right wing

kind of stuff and all right. But it's like Liking's not an endorsement And also if you didn't like Every director who was bad Like Sean Baker is very low down the list I tell you that now Yeah, yeah Because you know me, I'll be watching Chinatown

And Annie Hall At the same time and loving life Harvey Weinstein's tweeting from his jail cell Oh, Sean Baker is problematic Yeah Yeah, I still like Sean Baker But I do wish he'd do Kind of branch out a bit

I think his next film's about a sex worker as well I think, like, man, you've already got four Oscars for one movie. Let's change up a little bit. And, like, it is, has kind of become a bit of a, his schick or his brand. Yeah, it's like, fucking Wes Anderson, you know, it's like, I'd love to see him change up a bit. I'd love to see him do, like, a James Bond movie or something. Yeah.

Did it? James Bond is a prostitute in L.A. James Bond is a black trans prostitute. That's probably what they will do now, knowing the fucking bloody will. Yeah, yeah. Money penny comes. Money pennies played by Magic Johnson's son or daughter. No money penny.

Funny money penny. Anyway. Yeah. I'm trying to think. There's not anything else talk about. So the Palestinian documentary one. Yeah, and people are studying it like who stood up and who did you. Yeah, who stood up and who didn't.

Yeah, some people are like, meh. Just like, you know, putting their fingers in your ears and like, no, I can't see it. Yeah. I don't feel safe. Brett Gillman's going fucking spastic in the corner. He wasn't there. No, no, no, he wasn't. Come on, Brian.

He wasn't there. Or Michael Rappaport. Can you believe that? Yeah. They were probably having an after, like an Oscars watch party, you know? I think, to be honest with you, having an Oscars watch party, like, if you're a woman drinking wine, that's one thing. But if you look like me and you're having an Oscars watch party, that's a red flag, I think. That's like, you know, let's be honest.

I'm like, James, come over. Look what he's wearing. It's disgusting. I think, was it. it was live on RT2 this year? No, it was delayed. Oh. So...

No, I feel like a fucking idiot. Yeah, yeah. You're calling me up, like, can you believe it happened? It's like James happened a week ago. Brian! Will Smith just slapped Chris Rock. I swear to God. With his giant hand that's bigger than Adrian Brody's nose.

If you can imagine such a thing. And that's the trifecta, baby. Within the same realm Oh man How does he do it? He's so good Anyway Can I move on something else I'm sick of the Oscars

I watched the monkey Okay Yeah the new Horror film by Osgood Perkins Who directed Long Legs Yeah yeah yeah Terrible

Really? Fucking shite I hate it so much Oh man I actually was I actually loved it Oh don't do this to me Loved it so good I'm going to kill myself show you

yeah your funeral I'm giving the eulogy it's like and of course Brian loved the movie monkey and long legs

and you're just like yeah so I saw monkey I thought I'd be like you know the the ads you know monkey

you know Johnny Vegas but it wasn't it's Tio James that is not Johnny Vegas so the monkey is based a Stephen King short story.

And I was like, oh, this would be good crack. Right. The basic premise is, um, there's this magic kind of monkey toy, all right? It's like one of those monkeys like that bashes the symbols, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But every time I bash the symbols, someone dies. Oh, yeah. Very stupid.

So if you buy it, it's like, everyone around you is going to die. Yeah, and it was a short story, all right? Stephen King couldn't make a full novel, but. Like halfway through it was like, wait, this is retarded. What am I doing? Oh, this is shy. I'm going to go back to the... Do you write this after you're going to hit by a car?

Why about a Thai monkey that kills you? Yeah, that's brilliant. Yeah, that's brilliant. That's how he talks now after the car crash, you know? Even scarier now, yeah. So, T.O. James and his identical twin brother, played by T.O. James, okay? Already. Yeah.

They find the monkey. Oh, no, sorry. Their dad, Adam Scott, buys the monkey. all right and people start dying and Adam Scott disappears he runs away basically like a real dad and he leaves the monkey with the kids

and then people start dying around him and I taught from the trailer it was going to be like Final Destination where it's all these like fun kind of like rude Goldberg style things you know like you're like final destination like a screw falls off and it goes here and it knocks over a thing

and someone knocks over a campaign and then comes a mash oh the old switcheroo you know That'd be pretty funny actually Why'd they never do that That'd be great actually Yeah

Yeah Like there's a whole thing With a bowling ball Oh no And the bowling ball falls beside him Like Jesus thank God And then like It's in Columbine

And then a guy just comes And then a guy just comes down That's just for all the horrors It wouldn't fuck me Yeah Yeah That's what I taught me Like a fun thing

All right Yeah It's so fucking lazy All right And it's terrible So like the first big debt Is they go to like a sushi restaurant

With their mother All right Yeah As a guy, like, cutting, you know, like fish. Oh, like, Benny Hana. Yeah, Benihana kind of thing, right? He's cutting fish. And he loses his knife, okay?

Knife falls out, hits the mother and neck. Right. So in the trailer he sees that, and I'm thinking, like, oh, it's going to go in her neck. It's going to be squirting blood and all that. No, her head is completely cut off. Wow. Like a cartoon. It's completely just cut off.

It's a good knife. Yeah. Someone go, uh, check, poongies. I wouldn't be surprised that it did. I'll have what she's having. A massive orgasm. Hmm. I never saw Harry Met Sally

I don't know but so I was like oh that's a bit silly isn't it yeah yeah and then oh sorry that was the babysitter my mistake

the babysitter gets their head cut off then the mother just has like an aneurism oh just falls over it takes their babysitter to a restaurant

I don't know you're fucking you probably trying molester wouldn't you no I wouldn't Brian and it hurts me that you would suggest

such a thing do you realize the power of a statement like that, how that cast suspersions on my character? They play's in court, yeah. Adrian Broding comes in as a witness. He's an evil man.

He made fun of my nose. It's a small nose, isn't it? The small, I'm actually conscious of how small my nose is. Order, order. The jury will disregard all statements about Adrian Brody's nose. So anyway, so then the mutter is like an aneurysm, right? I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And all the deaths are really lazy.

It's all just like, someone opens a door and there's a gun just resting on the wall. It just falls over and shoots them. Wait, so this is still when he's a kid. No, that was when he's a kid, all right? Okay. And now he's grown up and it's been happening his whole life. He's all weird about it. And he's got a twin brother still.

So they're both kind of like, holy fuck, this is mad, you know. And it kind of dies down for a while and the monkey comes again, you know. It's like, very unexpected. Right. And the bit was like, okay, I don't like this movie at all. is the bit in the trailer where he's in like this like motel there's like an air conditioner thing

and it falls off the roof into a swimming pool and the girl about to jump into the pool. Right. So I'm like, oh, she wants to get electrocuted. Sure. You know, like that, all right? The second she hits the water, she explodes into a CGI explosion of blood.

Okay. And there's one leg left. Right. And again, it's CGI. It's like that, oh, that wouldn't happen, would it? wouldn't happen. And I mean it explodes, like, is only a leg, everything else being vaporized,

essentially, yeah, she's a red mist. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, yeah. I mean, neither does a toy monkey killing people, but...

Well, at least, try it make it work, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allow me to believe. Sure. Yeah. And it takes you out of it.

It's just like, oh, what, that's stupid? The thing is, like, if they filmed this, like, Freddy got fingered, I go along with it, all right? Because it's, like,

ridiculous, okay? But it's shot like long legs. It's shot like a prestige horror kind of thing It's like, oh, this is serious Elevated horror Yeah, exactly This is a metaphor

The monkey No, uh Go on Let him cook Go off, King Yeah, let's hear it Oh, here we go For capitalism

Yeah, yeah Sure, buddy Sure, that's what it is Oh, no Oh, butter Yeah, so It's really stupid And it's also just kind of the Stephen King

Humor is seeping true And Stephen King's humor When you're reading it is like kind of like a little bit hokey A little bit like oh geez he's a 70 year old man This stage Yeah yeah yeah I told you Ford he likes saying like that's a little poopy And all that yeah

But in this there literally is a scene where it's like And the neighbours died in a mysterious way And it's a neighbor with a lawnmore in his head And there's a guy The guy next to him Or he's like drinking a can of beer It's like oh and looks at the beer And looks at the beer like

Oh I got a lot away off the booze. Oh, wow. That's awful. Yeah, yeah. I hate that. All the deaths,

by the way, are just like, oh, there happen to be a harpoon on the ceiling that falls down. Yeah. Or one of them

is literally, there is a cannon just in the bedroom. There's a cannon in the toilet. Oh, my God. And it shoots a cannonball in someone's head. Wait, where is it actually?

It's just, you're in some shack with a cannon there. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, And again, a cannonball hitting someone. I want to see, like, maybe, like, have a bit of fun with the cannonball's in his head. Like, you're going to go silly.

How about, like, in his head, he's like, bleh, you know? Has anyone got some Tylenol? Yeah, yeah. But it's just, like, again, a cannibal hits, completely exploded head and just, like, the neck with, like, some CGI blood squirting out, you know? Yeah, yeah. I need this, like, a hole in the head, you know, like, and I was, like, I was shocked by how, like, like silly it was. And I was like, okay.

And are they going for like black comedy kind of? They are, but they're not succeed. In my opinion, not succeeding. I might have been in a bad mood because it's like I came in expecting something else. Sure, yeah. And then at the end it's him and O, T.O. James has a son, by the way, all right? Right. So then at the end, they're kind of like, the whole town is dead.

Okay. They're like, you know what? And they're driving away and they see like a man and a horse. They see debt. Okay? And debt gives him a little like wink or whatever like that. and I think that means the movie's over

and the final joke is like a school bus drives past there's a bunch of kids to their heads out the window for no real reason and then like a truck drives past

all their heads come off and it's just like pretty bad driving isn't it on the bus driver hail to the bus driver and you know he's just like we're probably going to get

a fucking little stick for that walking out yeah and even that bit it's just so cartoonish you can set up a little bit where the kids are all looking out like oh what's that

like hey kids don't put your head out of the window otherwise but uh oh show the bus driver yeah you're right he's like uh oh or something like that

oh little dude oh no yeah but it's just like such a they're all dead the end yeah yeah I got nothing from it

so why did he have like I would have thought the fact that he has a twin brother does that come into the story at all or there's no reason behind or it's like I thought maybe it's like it's actually the twin

that's behind it all the evil twin or something no no okay wouldn't that be nice then maybe I wouldn't feel like such a fucking jerk off I feel like a real douchebag for watching this shit and I was actually telling people to watch it where are you yeah I was like I want to watch the monkey I bet you're jealous aren't you

probably spending time with your loving family and your girlfriend. Not for me, thank you. I got the monkey. Tio James, I'm seeing double. Double treble. I saw his Mickey

on White Lotus. Yeah, I'm in for a good night. I didn't even see his Mickey. Yeah. Terrible. Okay, so you didn't like it? No. Didn't like half a star.

Did you get on letterboxed? I did, yeah. Tonally inconsistent, I called. Ooh. Yeah. How long to take you to accurately write those words? I wrote Aenly Inconsistent.

I wrote Aenly Assistant. Oh, fuck it out. Yeah, I haven't seen any of his Osgar, Osgood Perkins. Stupid name. Well, his dad at AIDS, so... Yeah, well, no excuse. More like Oz Bad Perkins.

Now, I tell you what I have been enjoying and we watch it downstairs. Toxic Town. You put on 30. seconds of it, Brian. You watched it for two and a half minutes. And I loved it. It's my life. Yeah, it's a real thing,

isn't it? Yeah, it's about Colby in like the 90s. And basically, they're shoving those of toxic waste down women's vaginas, basically. Yeah, yeah. Not exactly, but basically, yeah. More or less. It was like, it used to be a steel town. Yeah. It's all this, like, toxic fucking steel shite around the place.

Just like chemical hazardous chemicals. Yeah, yeah. And they're like dumping it in like, um, you know, the creche you know it's dumping it in like any old place

you know yeah and like the guys the company what do you call them dumpers yeah

I guess contractors the contractors waste management consultants yeah hey I'm waste management yeah

yeah what was that I'm working on it all right yeah we'll keep going I was going to

okay I had a new bit yeah that was it's ready what if Tony Soprano

worked in waste management but for real but he does in Colby but anyway I'm a bit too silly guys sorry

don't don't do that what are you doing there I've got too excited sorry did I take the wind out of your sales let me drink some coffee

to calm down a bit so Colby yeah so they're like they're like truck drivers who are dumping all this hazardous waste but then they go home to their partners and give them the good dick

in my deep dick in don't even wash the willie in sink. I just like stick it in. It's covered in toxic waste. Like, oh, it'll slip in easier, love, yeah? Yeah, love, get your mouth round it and clean

me fucking cock, all right. You know, it's the mid-90s Brit pop was happening, you know? That's so cute. You listen to blur while I get your cock sucked. Champagne shooping over in your ass. Yeah. So, and also, the guys, they're corrupt, by the way.

There's like a nerdy health inspector. they're kind of like me, he was like, oh, actually, guys, this is dangerous chemicals. Oh, I shut up, fuck. Cause I, shut up, lad up. I'm having puff on me faggit, you're drinking a brew, having a bloody steak and kidney pud, bud. I don't need some fucking pencil neck giving it all that.

Actually, uh, pud pud is bad for you as well. Fuck, I'm out of shove this right up, you twat, you little fanny gunt. Oh, I'm a man. Yeah. And everyone in town is having sex, by the way. They're all banning. Apart from this one nerd.

Yeah. Everyone's banging. That's his problem. Yeah, yeah. He has to go home to his old dad. He's like, come on, dad, touch it. Go on. Actually, son, it's not safe. Like, oh.

Oh, oh. It's not fair. Shoes on your phone. So everyone's having sex, but they're all getting pregnant. Yes. Amy Lou Wood from White Lotus and Sex Education. she's having the baby Jody Whittaker is having a baby

and you guys all know Jody Whittaker is Doctor She's the doctor Yeah, I know it's funny I really got James now Because he was like That girl's hot And I was like

That's actually Peter Capaldi Uh huh Yeah yeah Not really but you know Yeah Let me have to win Alright No you got it man

You got me I was like punked I'm like Austin Cutter Then I'm going to go Defend the Rapist Yeah Which one You got your pick of the list

yeah so the babe they all start having babies with deformities I feel like I mean very annoying this episode no you're grand no come on

it's quite funny to be like no no I'm bad oh this is it I might just leave you've got nothing else so you might just

get in the car not put on the seatbelt anyway sorry yeah yeah so the point is everyone's having babies and kind of like the

Lidamide scandal back in the day The babies are all coming out Kind of like deformed And we're saying like You know it's bad When you give birth to the baby And all the nurses are like Jesus fuck

Holy shit Oh my God Look at that dear dra She fucking hell You're having a fucking laugh Yeah all the nurses Trying to be like Oh yeah that's a baby's good

We're just going to take him away To the shed Get the gun We're going to get the Maternity hammer And yeah You're saying, you know, you do want your son of Graham to have a jump scare, you know what I mean? Just like, holy fuck, oh, Jesus Christ, Lord, I'm a hot tech.

Oh, my Lord, look at this little crack of my fucking here. Little motherfucker got two heads and no pussy. Shit. It's scared the white of them. Yes, yes. So, all the kids are born, I don't want to say weird. Spasticated freakazoid, I believe, is the men. I was laughed the idea of like,

yes, your baby's healthy. Do you like the movie Elephant Man? Because that would really help me. Because guess what? You can live your elephant man every day. Yeah. So, one baby's got like a bad arm. We've got basically a little twig hand. Yeah, a bit of a Jeremy Beedle situation.

Yeah, and you know? It's got like a bad ear and like one of the women's fannies is bad or something like that. Yeah. Like the placenta doesn't come out. I think the placenta is actually like a teat or something. some weird weird shit's going on

and Colby by the way yeah and we're it's like I love I've realized I get older now I really love

just British misery yeah just really like oh fucking my little sprogs disabled I'm gonna go

fuck you know yeah I'm gonna go down pub boozer fuck some slag get me mind off it

and then when I finally have the courage to come home gonna kick the fucking shit out my because she fucking does Ozzy. That with your bloody fanny

that turned it all wrong. It's all the biscuits you ate. You made the child go funny. You're on them antidepressants, weren't you? Made it come out all fucking floppy and that. Oh, you silly bitch. Yes.

Very powerful drama. All joking inside. I like it a lot. You know, the women are great. The men are great, you know. The baby's not so much, but, you know. Now, how do you think they made those babies? Did they find real freaks

Or did they make them with Plastic? I think there's prosthetics It's Andy Circus, I imagine I think Some shots think are real babies I always think it's interesting To like, we're filming something

We need a baby It has to be like Basically just born Yeah And his parents are like Yeah, take it Don't have to give it back If you want

Keep it, just throw it in the shed There's just like some Prop Master in a maternity ward with like one of those little dog cages just has it open right at the woman's vagina push push so here chop the fucking umbilical cord

I need to get back on set real quick Ken Loach is getting very mony you know I gotta hurry up Time is money, come Yeah Yeah this new Kez sequel is It's gonna be weird Let me tell you

It's more like a racer head Oh, we're getting so silly now We're at 41 minutes Give me a second Okay Yeah, so I think there's a lot more That stuff happens than we know

But I think now There's like There's a lot of issues With women having You know Problems with pregnancy And they are sort of Beginning to attribute it to

Obviously there's a lot of The microplastics in our food And you know Medications that we're all taken and you know I think just a lot of we come into contact with a lot of chemicals on a daily

basis and it's definitely fucking us up in ways we don't realize you know and I love it yeah same I'll tell you're going to go woke during that yeah give me more I want I'm sick of the micro plastics give me the macro baby I'm ready for the big show

there we go stick a lump of a plato up my age so you know like just to get away from from It's just funny It's a cry for help You know I'm like

Okay Yeah So I'm looking at the TikTok algorithm Alright Okay I'm trying to chase

What's popular For some reason Sinn Fain's done very well That's good People like us Talking with Sinn Fain

We can get that fan base Yeah Trying her best Anyway They're bad men No no No

We have to be We have to We have to We have to Grit your teeth All right Yeah You have to

Hide your picture Diana Jack underwear. I've got a Union Jack G-string. Like, fuck him on the Spice Girls, yeah. There was a thing, speaking of the Shinn Fane and all that, do you see that guy Bix McFarland?

No, Bick? Bick. McFarland? No. He was an ex-I... Well, I think he was an IRA guy anyway, yeah, and that he died there. Right. And it happens, like, every now and again,

you know, it's this age now where a lot of IRA guys are dying. Sure. And then, you know, obviously, like, Sinn Fain members go to the funeral. Yeah, yeah. And then the media make a big fucking, like, song and dance about it. Like, you know, shocking.

Like, Mary Lou, what was Mary Lou planning there, you know? Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. As if, like, she's getting, like, SimTech. So, like. Yeah, there's, like, fucking C4 in the coffin, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all planned. We're going to send this coffin to Bucking Palace.

Is why he wanted. Well, I mean, there's still, they'll, any chance they can get to have a go at Mary Lou McDonald and Sinn Féin because of their growing popularity. You know, the lame stream media are going to do it, aren't they? They keep telling me they're not popular. But they are. No, but

don't argue with me, all right? I'm not, don't shoot me. I'm not the messenger. But if you go on, like, a lot political podcasts, especially like the mainstream ones, you know? Like what? Like the Irish Times politics podcast, and all that. That's what I listen to it when I'm fucking, you know? Play something sexy. I'm like, oh, I know what you want.

No, that Barry White shit. He's scary and his name is not appropriate confusing false advertising I would say I was going to say yeah but like they're all kind of like Sinn Féin completely losing their base

no one likes them anymore actually they actually I've checked the numbers there and they all love Mihal Martin they all ticky they call them Zaddy now yeah they all love mehaw see kneecap has really helped Sinn Féin so now like Fina Gale or Fianna Fault need their own

kind of rap group We're like, oh yeah, it's actually sound to have landlords be in the government because there are people too and deserve respect. Yeah, it's very hard to be a landlord. Tenants should shut and fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black mold is actually cool. Yeah.

The only tenants I like come in a six pack and I'm drinking them in the car park with the lads doing donuts. Yeah. I could actually see them trying to do some sci up like that where they like to do get. It could be us. I sell out in a moment. Yeah, of course. Yeah. See, this stuff for the sheds as well.

The sheds? Yeah, yeah. They're building special sheds for us. Oh, really? For you. And you better be grateful as well, yeah. So they've made it easier to build a shed in the back of your house. Yeah.

And you can put immigrants or, you know. Your granny. Yeah. Double babble, linchie. It's my granny and some fucking, like, I purposely try and get the most scary looking immigrant to find you. It's your grandmother and 12 Nigerians. And funnily enough, she's never been happier.

Get over here, granny or tool? We're going to tell you, you like the tool, bitch? It's tool time. The lads are like, we need a break for this woman. She is ravenous. She is a fucking Caucasidal maniac. Cockasaurus Rex. Cockaholic.

Your granny's a whore. Do you have any grandparents still alive? Not anymore, not after the Nigerians. Oh, they, you know, gave her the business. Yeah, I only got one left She's a dizzy bint, though I'd love to see her I'd love her, really

I'd love to see her get slapped in the face with a big black cock, you know and it give me a chuckle Well, it's a free one, isn't it? Well, I stand by it The truth's out there now No point in taking it back I'm gonna die on this hill

I'm going to die in this cock Yeah Speaking of old dead fuck RIP Jean Hackman Oh yeah, Gene Hackman died, yeah. I still don't fully know what happened with him. Nobody does. It started off and it was like this lovely story.

Yeah. It started off like him and his wife probably went to bed and said good night, honey, they went to sleep you know, love you and then the gas leak. Dead. Yeah, dead. You know, but like they're in separate rooms. Separate rooms. And she was mummified, I think.

Yes. It might be a bit of Chris Benoit situation, yeah. I get, but I don't even, how does that make sense? Either way you could. it. I mean, her killing him, would you be asked killing a 95-year-old? Just like leave a window open and that'll do

it, like, you know. And then he doesn't have the Gulfstone to kill her. Just show him like the Kendrick performance. Yeah, exactly. So they're found in separate rooms, right? She had pills scattered around her and there was a space heater close to her, which caused her to

like her body to decompose quicker. I heard mummify. Mummify, yeah. So that's just like an sell like a more advanced form of decomposition basically it's like it's very far long but like they're saying he might have been they might have been dead for like seven or eight days maybe okay but he had a pacemaker in usually if you have a pacemaker in that shows no activity yeah for that many days somebody gets notified by it right also he's 95 years old he's got grown kids who live in the area yeah nobody came to look after him and

See, man, like, I'm not saying that they're involved. I think what happened is, you know... I mean, I don't visit my grandparents that much, you know. Because they're dead, Brian. Oh, yeah, sorry. Well, that's the problem. If they're not willing to put in the effort, why should I bother, you know? Yeah.

But yeah, so it's just there's a wee... And then, okay, the dog was found dead in a closet in the bathroom. Yeah, if they found the dog dead hanging. It was autoerotic affixiation. But then there's two other. dogs who are alive on the property suspicious there's a lot of weird stuff that just is not fitting

it doesn't pass the smell test I hope it's something juicy now I love Jean Hackman but I love it if it's like you know we also found a little twink in the cupboard somewhere yeah yeah it's like some real juicy shit you know like that I like those 10 liters of semen in Gene Hackman's asshole

which is a bit much even for me yeah I mean we all know Gene Hackman was a size queen but God dad. But yeah, so RIP one of the absolute greats, man. Oh, so good, yeah. Yeah. You went back and watched some of his old films. I did. I watched

re-watched. You know we should watch for next week. Yeah. I'm serious. Welcome to Mooseport. His last film that he did before retiring. Ray Romano, yeah, we should watch that. I don't think it's very good. Who told you that? Who's telling you lies?

Isn't that what made him want to quit acting forever? I think he did, yeah. I think he wanted to kill himself. Yeah, he's so I re-watched Unforgiven Good film. Mississippi Burning and Royal Tenant bombs.

Yes. Three incredible performances. Three great films. I'm not a big Royal Tenement. You can go fuck yourself. You're a stupid content. You're wrong. Well, I'm not a big Royal. With a tiny penis. Well, that doesn't affect my...

You stink of cheese and old... I don't smell. I do. I have been shit myself again, but Oh, again? Again, yeah. What? I shit myself after Paddy Armast's party. What party?

His birthday party. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. So I was there. I went, I showed up. It was a shit yourself party. I left early because I was working.

But, uh, wait, what happened? I just shit myself again. He just got gaped out in the workman's toilets. No. How dare you? That's what happened. It was perfectly natural, yeah. Yeah, they're like, yeah, we found like Brian shit himself.

and it was a woman, a mummified woman in the bathroom. There's a dead dog in the cleaning closet. It was a good birthday party. Yeah. Yeah, I just shit myself. It's funny, I woke up and I was like, oh, I shit myself. I went back to sleep.

I thought maybe it was a bad dream. So I was like, I'll just go to sleep. So you shit yourself in this bed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Boney a little bit. Like a tray at the spot? Fucking, oh my God. Only a little bit, you know.

All right. Yeah, so. Why does that keep happening? Keep shitting myself. The monkey was bad. Yeah. Gene Hackman's dead. There's really no reason.

Why butter wiping anymore? My hero is dead. Yeah. Oh, yeah, maybe I'm just eating too many burritos at night. Maybe. Well, how many are you eating at night? If it's more than one, it's a problem. But, yeah, so you don't like Royal Tennebombs.

I don't dislike it or anything. It's just like, I just not. one of my favorites and it's not it's not bottle rocket really yeah no it's not or um the other one rushmore yeah I just feel like it's one that I watched after watching

other ones it is you know yeah yeah maybe it's just because I just maybe I think overdid it I think too many in a row it is the that's when he really upped up it in terms of quirkiness yes the quirk factor definitely he kicked it up a notch but I'd say rewatch it if

nothing else but Gene Hackman's performance in it is great. He's like, he's so funny, isn't it? Oh, yeah, yeah. I know, again, I'm only giving it like, you know, an 8 out 10 or something. Yeah, yeah. But it's just like... Heresy. That's why he killed himself, Brian. You don't deserve to wipe your ass. Just

lie there, caked in your own shit. I'm more used for the, for the poop to come out of your mouth. Steady on. I don't need his abuse right now. But, uh, yeah, so I know what I haven't seen actually

is the birdcage I'm gonna watch that next Oh my God you're so gay You haven't watched the bird cage No Oh it's it's fabulous Yeah yeah it actually is Okay

Genuinely fabulous I've heard well Absolutely fabulous That's what I would call Yeah It's it's great It's very funny A lot of good political

Satire you know Like that that fucking You know The senator is a fucking douchebag Yeah Right I don't think I can watch something

That's so anti-establishment I actually, just go back to Bob Dylan. We're talking about Bob Dylan and the Patreon, all right? Yeah. I was laughing. There was, like, his newest album came out, and some guy did a review, and I was reading the review, all right? Yeah.

And they're like, like I said before, they're always trying to find the meanings in it, all right? And there's one bit where he's like, you know, oh, um, in the land of the lies, the scoundrel is king. They're like, my God, that is the greatest summary of the Trump presidency. I, I've said, it's actually like almost like what, it's, it's incredible. insane. Like, if Mr. Trump heard that, he'd probably step down his president. Yeah. He just

got owned by Bob Dylan, yeah. Now, was he, was Bob Dylan actually writing this artist under a pseudonym maybe? That could be, I believe. But yeah, they always try and find stuff like that, like, he's one of those people, like he really, like

they glaze him so much. They're like He's a cult-like figure, yeah. It's a religion kind of thing, yeah. But like, I don't think his work stands up to scrutiny. I mean, he's got some good stuff. Oh, no. Hurricane. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good, I guess. Yeah, Hurricane. Even though

that guy definitely did that shit. That motherfucker did that shit. Well, I don't know, I don't know enough but the case. I want to watch a Hurricane movie. I think the movie is considered like 90% inaccurate. Like, it's very... I know he had to change some lyrics for legal

reasons. Yeah. Because he named certain people and said certain people like framed them. framed him or didn't help or withheld information and stuff. I think it kind of came out after the film like a few years after people were like oh yeah the film is actually very

inaccurate and there's a very strong possibility he was in fact guilty. But I don't need my art to be accurate, you know? I just need him to say the N-words. That's all I want. Well then you're in luck. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They should do a whole album

where he says the N-word in every song. I bet he'd love to do that at some stage, yeah. He does covers. Maybe he could do that cover of that Jay Z Kanye West song, you know? I'd love to see actually would see him do like a spoken word kind of like, you know like Shatner and Futurama just like, yeah, do that

that'd be kind of cool now. Anyone talk before we head off change? I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but hey, she ain't messing with no bro, bro. What else? You know what's weird? I had a real hankering this week to watch Interstellar.

Okay. It's not good. I don't like it. All right. Yeah, I don't like Indyresterler either. Good. There you go. You know what I did watch actually because I looked up on the website I used. I wrote Interstellar

and there's two results. Interstellar and then Lolita from Interstellar space. Oh. I watched that instead. And how was that? So much better than interstellar. Chris Renolden wishes he directed this.

Yeah, it's so good. It's about a young girl in space and they're like, you have to go to planet Earth to study the humans. She's like, I don't want it. And they're like, well, you do. Okay. So she goes to Earth.

She's an alien. but she looks like a human, all right? And her vagina looks the exact same as a human as well, yeah. So it's a porno. Oh, yeah, porno, yeah. Softcore? What's softcore again? No penetration.

Oh, there's penetration. You see it go in? Yeah. Well, then it's hardcore. Okay, but there's no, like, it's not a snuff film writing. I didn't, nobody was thinking it was a snuff film. No, because usually the other Lolita films I watch have a snuff element. They don't kill any chickens or anything in it.

Uh-huh. Yeah, there wasn't much plot now I didn't watch all I'll be honest I didn't know is there like a whole like subgenre of like Because there's that Emmanuel Yeah Manuel

So she did carry on Emmanuel Right Yeah Have you've seen that idea Oh it's sad How's so It's the last carry on film Oh really

Well no it's the last Carry on film for years So all the actors are really old Like you know Kenneth Williams He's like I'm gay And it's like It's soft core, by the way.

You know, like, other carry-ons are a bit like, ooh, my jugs, full of milk, you know, like that. This one's just like, look at the tits. Spaffled me bastard tits, you fucking Nancy boy.

Oh, you're fucking, you're a fucking puff, aren't you? You wouldn't like these tits, would you? No, I wouldn't. You probably love cock instead of mingge,

don't you, you fucking nuftor? You're probably going to end up killing yourself in your partner, aren't you? Yeah. You fucking, fucking. yes I will in fact I might do that now

so it's very sad alright a lot of stuff in it is just like oh my god like the bit where she's walking around London the sexy girl

Emmanuel she was like oh those guards can't move outside the palace oh yeah and she just gets naked goes like

ooh look and they all they don't do anything oh and that's the end of the scene oh it's not like you expect him

be like bang you know or anything but stand to attention Yeah, he looks, he looks quite bored, actually, yeah. And then she's like, oh, put my clothes back on now.

Where's the gay guy? Oh, he's dead. All right. Fun. Got another 90 minutes, this, shoy. And they stop, you got me going now. They stopped carry on for years. But then about, like, 16 years later, they tried to bring it back.

Right. And it was like a whole new cast to character. For the MTV era. For the 90s, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's 90s. It was called Carry on Columbus. and it had like...

With Arsenio Hall. No, I wish it was, yeah. They had Rick Mail for a scene. Okay. Yeah, it was like anyone they could get, you know? Yeah. Which you wouldn't know many of them these days. You know, Rick Mail's probably the biggest star they had in it,

and he's only in, like, one scene. Yeah. And that didn't really do well either. And they're always talking about bringing it back. And I'd love to see you someday, you know? A remake of Carry On. Yeah. It'd probably be like James A-Caster and...

No, no. Ramesh, Rangganathan. Over my dead body. Nishkubar He liked Benadorm Rosie Jones Oh Oh nice melons

Don't do the voice Don't do the voice That's how she sounds How am I the bad guy here It's how she sounds How am I the villain You're outside her house thrown exit Are like how am I the villain

What We don't believe in free speech it. Well, I'm sorry. You can cut that out, I guess, if you want. I'm leaving it in so people know the truth. Yeah, yeah. And she'll come after you.

Yeah. Battery it. Spit on you. No, it'd be like Johnny Vegas and fucking, you know, you know, fucking Keith Lemon. Oh, yeah. It'd be perfect for. You're right, actually, yeah, yeah. Is Celebrity Juice still going?

No, I don't think so. I don't think he couldn't this day and age. No. She'll the whole day. Oh, Holly Williamoo. me, let me see your tits. Yeah. No. To fucking show me your tits.

I've got a fucking knife. Show me your minge now. We've got Paddy McGuinness. Everyone's laughing and cheering. Yeah, yeah. Because Gino DeCampio got in trouble there. Right. I was listening to a podcast.

It's funny because you have to be like, you know, very serious, you know. It's like a Guardian podcast. So, like, yes, so Gino de Canio, um, abuse is power. And if you watch, Celebrity Juice, it's disgusting, you know. He would say, awful comments like let me spaff for your jubilee-wobiles

and that's not something you should be saying in a workplace environment and one time they had a deck from Anton Deck and they said show us your willie

now what's funny about that it said and I quote let me bend you over and stick it right up your biker grove awful stuff

awful I bring back Every juice as well If it's cancelled Yeah I mean Your man Lee Francis He's a worker

Yeah Whatever you say about that guy He's been working fucking hard for a long Long time Both selector Yeah Iconic

Yeah Not sure why It was such a cultural Touchstone Oh yeah That's the only monkey I care about Yeah

Yeah It was he just wanking That was a bear But Was it Yeah it was a bear Oh Oh

Oh Yeah and yeah it was it was funny but it was just weird there was a kind of absurd grotesque element with the big rubber masks and like Melby

from spite oh you're fucking you're fucking cudd like that was kind of our whole thing if you honestly did when I was a kid it kind of like I was a little bit too young for it so I didn't like get it and I was just like that's a weird show. I wasn't scared of anything.

It was like, what is this? It confused me. This is not only fools. Yeah. The thing is, it was quite confusing because it didn't really make sense. Yes. Like, as a child, I didn't know who Craig David was, for example, or any of the fucking characters. And even then it's so, like you said,

it's so out with the box, you know? It's like actually, it doesn't sound like that. You know? Yeah. And like, the thing with the bear and the whole joke is his clock comes out. Yeah. And he's just jerking off in front of women who are clearly uncomfortable

Yeah Yeah And somewhere Louis is watching that Be like, huh Yeah We're just at the hour there We're just at the hour there He's coming to Galway actually

Yeah And Belfast That's good We get him on the podcast Yeah I think so I think he'd actually enjoy your bedroom You know Yeah

Just ignore the smell Louis You're probably used to it You shit yourself Louis We're brothers and arms in a way. Yeah. That's funny. You've probably

shit yourself more than Louis C.K. And that's like one of the main things he's famous for, you know? That's like kind of half his schick.

Yeah. When Louis came out was very inspirational for a lot of comics. But I just thought people don't know is like, oh, he's fat and shits himself.

He says the N word in public. Oh, there's a man. I can, that's somebody you can set your watch to you know? I would totally funny.

I can't really do this is a bit I think it's a bit too obscure but I think it's funny like you know so all these like white kind of wiggers you know they won't say the N word all right and they see

and they're like trying to work how they would say the N word all right and it's like you know like Oppenheimer they're like doing all this stuff all right and I was like

if I'm quoting a rap song can I do that no no okay and then they see fucking like Louis doing it like it's perfect you know it's like oh my

it's like you know Russia has the bomb you know it's like I have am become Boop Destroyer of cultural

stereotypes Yeah, that was to honestly that this is a very wild two episodes

there Okay too wild Yeah too wacky Two bowl selective For your Lichen

I'm gonna take some Valium next week Good Do you have any Valium? I don't No

And if I did I wouldn't give you any What? It'd be all for me Your old friend

Tuler Nah Nah Nah Well I don't want you getting

any more chill. I'll take some Viagra instead then, yeah. And drink some bleach and see what happens. Working class value, you know. So that's the end of it. Before we go, I'm off to see the shite talk, lads. Yes, very good. I'm a bit tired,

be honest with you. Yeah. I'm not really feeling it. You don't have to go. Would be bad if I brought a pillow with me and had a little lie down in the corner near the fire escape. It's up to you, man. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. Yeah, I might have a little sleep

Yeah For the next Three days Yeah, yeah You've got nowhere to be No, where to go You know what's funny I keep waking up the morning

Like early I'm like I've got the whole day Time to do something Nothing to do No one to see Will I clean this shit Out of my bed Or

No, it's got a rustic Kind of a charm to it Doesn't it? Yeah Maybe if I'm like You know I'm like you know If I shit on it more

it might actually make it go away a little trick for you there yeah yeah it doesn't work well keep trying man keep trying was there any of anything else a bit of a sad depressing game

you're doing really isn't I oh well Doctor Who's coming back oh good man season yeah season 15 of the new revival it's gonna be they've already like 884 episodes

so far right and the new season's coming back she looks very very cool they're doing a Eurovision song contest in space and if a cartoon character it comes to life, it comes out of the screen. Sounds a bit silly, Brian. No, no, this is going to be dark and serious.

Okay. It's going to be basically kind of like, you know, like Apoclips Now, kind of like, you know, like, uh, it's going to like really justify my life in a way. Right. The only way you watch bad doctor, you're like, oh my God. No, I've ever had that experience myself.

It's like basically like watching your stock go down. You're like, oh God, I'm ruined self. yeah try to jump out the window but you live in a bungalow you know oh yeah anyway let's end it there you don't want to leave bye