Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 244 : Day of the Jackoff

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Off to France we go....

I am. Okay, start talking, talk. Now, I think I'll wait. No, please, keep talking. You're rooting this for me. I am. How are you doing, James? Let's calm down a bit now.

We're recording. This is a free one, so don't get too silly where, all right? Just half-ass. Might just close me eyes for a few minutes. You talk. Well, Brian, did you watch any Doctor Who lately? That's actually great, because I did. Oh, that sounds good.

Anyway, you mock, but I did watch some Doctor Who actually, yeah. That's all right. We don't need to talk about that. Okay. No, go on. No, no, you're right. I don't watch your nose to start bleeding. I need to move on from this obsession I have. You know, it's a curse.

It's like a running gag, but your commitment to it is... I actually hate Doctor Who. I'm just doing it to piss you off. I just pretended like Doctor Who for the Poon Tank. all the mad sneeze I'd be getting from it no I'm trying not to watch I tell you it's an interesting

juxtaposition because I'm doing my farming course so I'm listening to the Doctor Who audio driving up and like Doctor watch out oh he's going to die the doctor's going to die and I'm always crashing the car

I'm so upset but then I get to the farming college all right and we're watching videos of castrating bulls and stuff very different It's not as magical or as whimsical Castrating bulls Yeah you're doing that

No You've got some bull background Don't you I never was allowed to castrate As much as I did Yeah yeah We were watching videos Weren't allowed to do it

I was like let me at him Let me add him Put me in coach I'll do it my teat Give me the rock I don't I don't need any gloves So it's pretty If honestly it looks pretty simple

You know you're just kind of like Tie the balls Yeah And tie them real and then you take it taking out the You ever see balls getting opened up with a knife? No.

You haven't lived. I haven't, no. You're one of the city boys. You're like, where is milk? Does the milk come from the goat or the chicken? Do I have to milk the bowl for the delicious milk?

Oh, let me suck on the bowl's tit. Singular tit. I've seen a bowl's cock get hard. It's just so wild. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, that's actually, that's, that's Bushley. Did you make it hard, did you?

No, it said I wasn't its type. According to the Doctor Doolittle vet we had there, it's a, nah, the ball doesn't, the ball only likes to fuck other cows, not pigs. Very mean doctors. Quite hurtful, yeah. No, I have assisted the decapitation of a calf that was coming out of a cow,

pussy. That's pretty gay, I guess, isn't it? What was going to do? There was something wrong with it, was it? Could we watch a lot of that as well, a cow birth? So what happened was the cow is calvin, but like the calf had turned in the wound. Yeah, they're talking about that, yeah. So the way it was, so the cow couldn't push it out. Yeah. So the, basically the vet had to reach in and pull it out as much possible. And then it only basically got stuck kind of like a three stooges situation.

A wise guy so then I had to hold the head of the calf that was already dead. At this point we're just trying to save the cow the calf is dead. The vet has razor wire and he's just sawing

the neck of this dead calf and he's whistling, he's loving it here. And I'll just hold it's like it's nice am i haven't even had my coffee yet brian this was like uh not too long after my dad dies i was like oh am i going to have to take over the farm is this my life now is it and uh yeah but i was kind of thinking you know what i don't be on the farm all that much maybe this is a common thing and i just being a little bitch about it yeah so then yeah so he saw us off the head the head drops and

rolls away and I have to run after it like, oh! You know, like, kind of like Jerry Lewis, the naughty professor. Then afterwards I kind of turned to my mom was like, is that something that is common? And my mother goes, I've never seen any shit like that in my life. That was fucking crazy.

So yeah, fun little anecdote. Funny if the cow wasn't dead. It was perfectly healthy calf. It's actually, it was a jackass prank. It was a wee man dressed as a calf. Sticking outside of Preston Lacey's asshole. Yeah, no, neen dick, she's got to show off the fucking calf's head like a fucking asshole.

Booney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, so. Sorry, he pukes up a cow. Don't have a cow, man. That sounds wonderful. We haven't covered that in class, yeah. We're just doing like normal births that don't involve decapitation. Do you just do like a show and?

tell you can bring me along say, oh, see you little punks think you know what it's got, like scared straight, it's like, you think you've got what it takes to make it on the mean farm? You, did chew you off. First day on the farm, I find

the biggest blackest ball I can, and I just rape the fuck out of show him who's boss. I'm the daddy now. You know? I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. This is all.

Five minutes in, I've gone mental already. I was like, let's keep the calm here. Well, you have been watching Doctor Who anyway. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Wait, no, tell me more about the castrating. What do testicles look like when they're open? Just kind of red balls. By balls, I mean, like, actual cylindrical kind of thing.

Okay. Like ping pong balls. Yeah, actually, yeah, yeah. Women shoot them out their pussies in places. Yeah, it's a delicacy. It looks pretty cool. I mean, you can probably, I'm sure you can eat bold balls. You eat placenta.

I'm bulls balls. Actually, yeah, that's the whole fucking gimmick of I'm a celebrity. Yeah. Yeah, it's like... Or like goat testicles. Yeah, they make some Tory MP Bulls balls, yeah.

Well, Ant and Deck laugh, you know, at this poor man. Yeah. Why, hey, look at your munching on balls. Probably reminds you of being back in private school, don't it? Oh, ho. Actually, I say,

very unscrupulous behavior now. Actually, speaking of Tories and Posh bring English guys, all right? My roommate was watching some Downton Abbey. Oh, yeah. I've gone in and out

of Downton Abbey. And I kind of assumed Downton Abbey, like, remember when it first aired, people loved it? Yeah. There's all these jokes like, oh my God,

I just want to go home, drink a bottle of red wine, and watch Downton Abbey. Those kind of jokes were aimed at brain dead women, so I didn't get on my radar. I guess I wasn't watching as much too broke girls

as you. Don't trust the bee in apartment 23. That was your favorite show I loved the man I signed a petition I tried to get it back on the air James Fanderbeek

is a revelation he plays himself guys It's never been done before It's amazing Yeah It was a good show I actually never said it I got the I got the Blu-ray

Downstairs Despite my extensive knowledge Of the show I've never seen it It's a curse isn't I It's weird You know all about these shows He never seen before

I've never watched though Yeah You couldn't even like Years from now You won't remember your child's name, but you're like, a James Vanderby I'll be in the hospice. James Van der Beak

plays himself, he was the Dawson's Creek. Because that's how I'll sound when I'm in the hospice in my mid-50s. I'm not, I've not taken very good care of myself. I'm not going to last too long, so it's going to be pretty bad.

Yeah. What was talking about? Oh, yeah, Downton Abbey, that's a yeah. Okay. So I thought Downton Abbey was like kind of a respectable show. You know, like a good, decent, honest show. You could set your watch to, and it had like character development and shit. It's just, but then I watch

some of it, right? And it's more like kind of a posh East Enders, like a soap opera. Right, right. Dinisties. Is that what Emmerdale is? No, man, Emerdale's better. Okay. Honestly, Emmerdale knows what wants to be, okay? Whereas Downton Abbey, they're putting on the fancy shit, okay? I'm like, oh... Cross over

with the dingles travel back in time and they show up at Downton Abbey. You know? I'll be honest. I don't know who the dingles are, okay? fucking posy batty boy I'll tell you fun little fact

the ratings came out for soap operas you know what's the best one doing the best Hemmerdale Emmerdale

Emmerdale I set you up and you fucking failed yeah yeah Hollyoaks does that still exist yeah but I think

it's like once a week now all the soap operas are going to especially Coronation Street Corrie is

going down the drain oh because they extend it to an hour really yeah yeah because it's all this will be it

people aren't watching it because it's too little of it we're too big to fail yeah yeah and apparently that has actually gone so it's more expensive to make unless people are watching it people like a fucking hour yeah joking yeah to be honest like half an hour was maybe a bit too long yeah yeah and they don't work on streaming services

really yeah because Amazon brought back either neighbors or in I think neighbors right and they try to do neighbors on Amazon Prime yeah one watched it okay Yeah, it's kind of like The thing with a soap is It's shite But because it only happens at that

It's like if you watch last night's episode You want to watch tonight's to see what happens Whereas if it's all just available on stream And you're like, I'll get to it Yeah, exactly, yeah And there's a whole thing for a lot of people It's like I go home, make me tea I watch curry

And then You know, my wife's giving it all that I go down the pub, never come back That's my ritual but um so look i was going to say downtown abbey it was kind of stupid all right you know they're doing all this stuff where it's like you know my long lost brother and like this man shows up who knows something about my past it's all very like silly and like every fucking butler has been arrested or faked their debt or fucking gone to jail being accused you know falsely accused

of you know disrespecting the queen right right but i copped something there i was watching something more downtown abbey like they really fucking like downtown abbey is like just kind of rose tinted view of England or of the past where like all the posh people are just decent lovely people you know like it you know they might be a little bit

silly but they mean well whereas all the butlers and all that they're all like rapists and criminals and racists as well all the problems are them so the funny side stories are with the rich people and all the actual you raped me daughter that's all that

Downstairs. Yeah. Too right, I think. And who's going to believe you, right? You're from Birmingham. Nobody believes a Birmingham, bud. Man, literally, okay, they had one episode there where there's like a big party in Downton Abbey, okay?

And all the rich people are upstairs, okay? And I think the wife of the main butler is downstairs. Right. And then one day, you know, the servants ever, like shows up, okay? He's like, how you getting on you? You feel in no... You know, doing all that, you know, stuff, okay? All that scary working class shit.

Okay. And he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, I love not paying taxes. And your, your, your, your arse looks very nice. Oh, you stay away. No, and starts raping her. Whoa, what? Really? Yeah, he starts raping her.

Do they actually show the rape? Well, they show her slapping around and bending her over and her screaming, okay? But it just to misunderstand it. Just to disagree with. Yeah, you're always defending them, aren't you, James? the working class could do no wrong yeah so like yeah how like

but then okay so he it doesn't make any sense because she is in a semi position of power you know she's like wife of the head butler okay and he's like a nobody all right but she's a woman Brian oh you're right yeah yeah

women have no agency I just mean like if something if like that's how no bad I didn't mean like that oh really women don't get believed is what I was saying Sure, walking it back. James had to get me to edit that part in. But I'm just saying, like, so it'd be something if he was like the head butler and he raped someone. He was like, who's going to believe you, you know?

But like the power dynamic's a bit weird in it. And also, he's just hanging around then the rest of the series, be like, oh, I hope you enjoyed our little meeting last night. It was very consensual, mm-hmm, you know, like that. You know, I was just messing around. And then he tries to rape another girl. Oh. Yeah, he's like, oh, that's just how I am, you know. He's just getting away with it

Because all the girls Like, I can't tell him now You know Another thing Downton Abbey, okay Is they Have a kind of A funny thing

All right Who won the girls Think Lily James All right She wants to get a band over Okay Because it's Hugh Bonneville's birthday Whatever okay

So she gets a band Alright Wait, who is she in Is she like a cousin or something She's like one of the Rich? She's rich Yeah

Yeah So she gets a band And the joke is okay It's a jazz band Oh. You know what that means? Yeah, yeah. They play jazz. So it's a bunch of black people rock up in downtown abbey in like 18, oh, I'm sorry, like 19, fucking 14 or something like that. Right, right, right. And the butler is like, oh, my goodness, that's highly unorthodox.

Yeah. And that's it, all right? And then the black people go upstairs to see the rich people, all the rich people are like, oh, I love jazz. Do, do, do, do, do. And no one's got, no one's got a problem with it. No one is hiding the cutlery No one is screaming No one's calling the police They're all just like You know what Black people

Very very good Fine fellows indeed You know And they should stay here As long as they want I hope more come over from Africa Come on in my house

The doors wide So like It's very unrealistic That like all these like rich people Like these white old rich people It's like brilliant Diversity is our greatest strength Yeah

But then Okay then So they have the parents okay great they're playing the music everyone loves everyone's dancing alright racism has been solved good but then at the end at last yeah but then at the end okay the mother of um i think either lily james's mother or auntie okay walks downstairs she's looking for the guys to pay him and she finds lily james like kissing the black guy oh and she's like i'll leave you at it oh yeah of course oh yes yes make sure you don't use a condom either it feels better without one

Yo, bitch, where are you going? Get your nasty ass up this motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. I want some, I want two pieces of white chocolate tonight. Hey, my, good heavens, you have. Maggie Smith, you know, Maggie Smith. Oh, it's the room for one more? Like, no one's got a problem with it.

Yo, that ain't my main girl, Maggie Smith, motherfucking shrunk going up this piece, bro. Oh, you know it. Jimonte. Or whatever. His name's George. But, yeah, like, they're saying like these rose-tinted view of history

where it's like, all the rich people, just lovely. Yeah. And they're always nice to the staff. Like, all, whenever the staff are like, oh, I have to go to London, my mother's dying. You know what? You take three weeks. You don't make it a month, right?

And you get paid double as well, yeah. And, and, you know. Actually, I tell you what, you take my bed. I'll clean the floors down here. That's only fair. Or let's say, like, you know, the boy who works in the garden gets caught stealing a, you know, a shovel or something like that. You know, boy, need to dig a grave for me, me gran. You know what?

You can steal all you want here. We don't care at all. We love the working class. Yeah. Like, it's very unrealistic. It's just fucking, like, it's just Brexit. It's, yeah, it's Brexit propaganda. All these old British people are like, yes, that's when it was good.

That was it made sense. You see, I know, look at that. Like, we do that for ever. We were very kind. And then what happens? Bloody Storms here and that coming in with the, one, one, glod, blood, blood type thing. And it's like, oh, what?

Now, you can't, my granny can't walk down the street without getting the tits honked on by some of the brothers in the ends. Oh, this is a disgrace, mate. I'm not having it no more. Uh, yeah. I actually listened to a music podcast recently, okay? And it was like this old, the two old British guys.

It's kind of popped up in my feed. I was like, who are these guys? I thought they're like somewhat famous. So just two British guys. Okay. This could be us some days, like two old guys in like their 70s recording a podcast. Yeah. And they don't know how the mics work.

But anyway, they're like, oh, I love, you know, the clash, wherever like that, you know? Sure. But they're like, and what's all modern music today? It's all like dizzy, busy. Dizzy Biscuits. Shind gay little shoggy bogey-bogies Oh no, I don't like that I didn't mean, I didn't laugh

That was a bad I didn't mean that Oh no Set you up Oh that was Oh I got that out I think Oh fuck it It was an honest mistake

I guess I was bound to happen Someday Iggy jiggies Well there Now we're both culpable Thank you Brian It was very kind of you.

Well, that was me satirising these old racists is what I was doing there. But that bit, I was like, oh, you can forgive them. They're doing the whole like, oh, I don't know modern music. Yeah, yeah. What is it? Grim or grime, what is it, all right?

The bit, I was like, that's a bit fucked up. They're like, yeah, I try to stay away from modern music as much as I could, you know? For me, it was like, the clash and anything after that did not care about at all, okay? I remember one time, actually, I was curious, so I bought a Prince album I had to hide it on the bus

because of shame of it Purple Rain Prince, he was like iconic Yeah, he's hiding if anyone finds out It's like Anne Frank If anyone finds me I'm gone Maybe because it was more

The Androgynous than the fact That he was black I would say It was probably more Whatever it is I'm not listening to him anymore Yeah What are they called So I know to avoid

I delete Oh, I just feel so safe you watch it next week and I'm the third bike all right lads yeah I used to do a podcast with a limpard who didn't appreciate my funny names for fictional rappers a real prince lover

yeah yeah a real purple rain if you know what I mean yeah we call his asshole the purple drain yeah oh they james no he didn't

no he didn't that's a lie oh be of the lads don't the boozer we do yeah let me just keep talking when dogs cry yeah that's what we call it when you take a big cock up your ass

and you cry in pain I suppose I don't know I'm still talking I would like to retract an issue an apology for the for what my ass that's the purple drain

that fucking oh that's pretty funny I thought purple drain that's why I got angry because it was so good I know it's going to stick with me now real Here lies, Brian Purple Drane, O'Toole.

And it's spelled O'Toole wrong. Beloved cunt. What's going to say? So have you been watching the Mihal Martin stuff? I just saw, so he's over in America right now. Yeah, they're making it a big deal. So basically, Mihal Martin's got to go over to America and try to suck off Donald Trump. Yeah.

Because we need to get, keep America. We need to get more data centers and companies that don't pay tax. So he's got to go over there and laugh at all Trump's jokes. Not be his Lensky not be a troublemaker. Oh, yeah. We're in. He's not coming in with like with his pants

all sagging and you know. Yeah, like he's scratching his ass and his balls. With a lip piercing and all punk rock. Yeah. But no, so everyone's given out about the housing bits. Yeah, that looked pretty bad. We think it's like

It's crazy just because they're doing so well. They're like... Yeah, it looks bad, but like... Really bad. Mehal Martin, he's got no power because we're our little bitches to the Americans. Yeah. We have to be like, yes, good...

Very funny, sir. And I love The Apprentice and all those women accuse you a rape, lying whores, he asked me. Jeremy Strong didn't deserve the Oscar, so I'm glad it went to Adrian Brody. Although he's a bit of a rabble rouser himself, if you ask me.

Yeah, so you have to... He has to laugh all the stuff. And, like, it's kind of funny the difference, not surprising either, but the difference where, like, Mihal Martin's got to literally be like, you know, that's so funny and you're so smart. Yeah. And I bet every woman would suck you off, even me, all right?

I'd have it go out to myself. They don't call me me whole for no reason. Come on. The purple drain, they call me back home, you know? I do it for county, you do. But, like, you know what Benjamin Netanyahu? Yeah. When he shows up, he literally brings laundry.

I told you that. What? He brings laundry. I didn't. Yeah, yeah. So when the Israelis go to the White House, they bring laundry and they like dump literally about seven bags in the White House, so I clean that. I swear to God, I'm not joking.

Why do you? Because there's a complimentary laundry service to the White House. So let's say you're a T-Shok. You have there, you have two jackets. You can leave one jacket there, do laundry, all right? Yeah. Don't take the piss. Yeah.

But the Israelis just literally bring bags and bags of laundry. and the America's like, thank you. And Trump's like, I'll do it myself. Oh, I'll get down there. I tell you, nobody scrubs that palestillion children's blood like me. Yeah, whereas, again, like, Miho Martin's got this, like, shock and joy even just, like, do anything you can to get a little morsel of approval from Mr. Trump, you know? And, like, but he's got to do it, you know? What's the other, what's going to do?

Yeah, I don't know. But look, the optics are bad, and surely he should have enough force. site, like, if Trump makes a comment like that, he should just not say anything. But like, this is not what I think now, but literally your opinions don't matter, all right? Okay. Yeah, no, I'm not saying that, I'm not, no, but the Irish public I mean, including me, all right?

It's what Mr. Trump says, otherwise going to take away his golf course. Okay, fair. All right, I guess. You know what's weird as well? Change your mind, Brian. Yeah, so. Debate me. Yeah. You're going to be like Charlie Kirk, you know, just setting up outside Trinity is like, yeah, Trump should make all the jokes he wants

Change my mind Well another thing about Mihal Martin is He's over there to see Trump But before that he's doing like kind of like a Like a press tour He's promoting his new movie Whereas he was at South by South West Wait what movie

No he's not he's not promoting a movie But it's like that Yeah yeah You were like where can I watch this The Knee Cap movie Well we've seen what kneecap did So now it's gonna be The origins of Mihal Martin

And the rough streets of Tipilo where the fuck he's from. Yeah, so like it's Mihal Martin going around doing like podcasts and like interviews. He was a South by South West, which is like kind of like an entertainment thing. So it's like the young Sheldon panel

and then Mihal Martin and then like the cast of Dexter resurrection or everything like that. Is he going to be on plug talk with Adam 22? I would love that so much. Yeah, I bet you would. Oh my God. I would come just even reading the title. Actually speaking of plug talk, I never told you

the competition now is pillow talk yeah what was this again so pillow talks is guy called Ryan and the whole thing is he doesn't fuck okay he just gets guys to fuck on the show and he watches right yeah and he makes like witty comments like oh you like all the meat on your pizza

you know like that kind of stuff yeah oh extra mayo is it laugh I'm like are we watching the fucking or I'm watching him making his comments he's like the roastmaster General.

Do we get to see the banging? Oh yeah, yeah. You see full penetration and squirt. And he's just there like, oh. Just chilling out, yeah, looking bored. Right. But like... Who is that for?

Me. Who enjoys that? Well, so he had a girl in a wheelchair recently and they fucked her, right? Yeah. But the newest one they got, he got a kid with, like, not kid, he got like an 18 year old boy, man.

He got a man, all right? With cancer. He's got like severe cancer. He's probably going to be dead by the time I finish his sentence. Okay. And he got... Well, don't finish it then.

Ah, too late. Well, blood on your hands. And I did that on purpose. It made me feel good. I was jealous of him, yeah. I actually was jealous of him because he got, they got two porn stars and they sucked him off. It's pretty good.

His little chemo penis. There's a make a wish we can all get behind. Yeah, I don't want fucking man. If I was dying and they're like, look, it's John Cena. I'd be so annoyed. If he's not going to jerk me off, he can fuck off. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, I was going to say.

So, Mihal Martin, another thing, I was looking up the ditch, you know, the ditch. Yeah. Yeah, which Mihal Martin says is Russian propaganda. Oh. Because they were like, a lot of TDs are landlords. He was like, oh, of course you say that. Oh, and Sandy Hook didn't happen. Oh, God damn it.

I did it once an episode. It's like I know. You already mentioned it once already. Did I? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, today.

In the Patreon? Yeah, you did it? Yeah, you can't help it. Man, it's like Tourette's. I don't recall that at all. I'll show you the footage. Okay. I've got it on tape.

Yeah, yeah. You know what? They don't have on tape. Yeah. But still, we're not allowed to ask questions. I hire a fucking crisis actor dressed like you, you know. It's some Chinese man. He's like, oh, Sandy Hook.

Oh, I love a beer from Monoham. Oh, yes. Well, there you go, sir. Your Honor. My case rests. I've seen enough. for you're guilty and Alex Jones

has to go to jail it's because of you you set me up oh this is very goofy what are we talking about I'm trying to talk about politics alright the ditch the ditch

the ditch so the ditch Mihal Martin says the Russian propaganda because it said a lot of TDs were landlords which is true

yeah but there's like oh Putin's handbook right there Putin's lackey oh that's what Putin wants you know but are they based

in Dublin the dish yeah yeah so there's a story there recently where apparently there's a children's hospital this is a bit fucked up alright and you know if children's hospitals

do surgeries on children's sure yeah on children well it turns out none of the surgeries were necessary just doing it for money are you serious like the dentist and love hate oh my god there's 53 surgeries they did right

ah your kid needs a new spine and it's like do do do it's all lying oh my god that's fucked up and the bit as well where you know the way like you put in like putting like an extra like spring into a child or something. I'm not a doctor, by the way.

But you know, like... An extra spring? I don't know what you say. Like a hip or something. Yeah, yeah. So they're using like sub-power equipment. All right. So instead of getting the good stuff made out of like metal,

they're getting like some wooden shite from some guy, some like Del Boy down market, you know, yeah, full of woodworm. So, and that's not a story at the moment. Like, no one's talking about that. It's on a ditch and no one's talking about that at all, right? I was talking about Mihal Martin with Trump. Another thing, okay, I was looking into

this whole kind of doll speaking rights thing Okay Okay, because I want to know what's going on in the doll Because keep seeing all these videos people yelling at each other Right And the doll So it turns out what used to happen is You needed at least 12 TDs in the doll

To pass a bill or a motion Right And they couldn't get 12 in It was too hard What, just people who aren't arse Just weren't arse, they're in the pub Where about that, the doll bar So they brought it down to five

TDs, okay, and they still can't do it. They still can't get five TDs there, all right? So you need, I think it's five TDs per party or something, okay? Right, right. But there's actually, I looked up to the 170 or 180 TDs meant to be in the doll. But, like, why

wouldn't they just show up if it's a bill that their party wants passing? I don't know, you're asking me, I don't know, okay? I think just like, add your other guy will do it. So what happens is no one shows up to have to ring a bell. This you ring a bell, okay, and all the guys are in their office. or the barred, like, oh, fuck

oh, it's like, you know, like a break in school. Recess is over. Yeah, and they're like walking real slow. They have to, like, you know, they're carrying their football, you know? Yeah, yeah. And then the other thing is the speaking rights is,

I think you're supposed to get, like, equal time with speaking or something. Right. But Mihal Martin's like, how about I talk over them? They're like, you can't do that. He's like, yeah. Of course, he's Russian propaganda. Propaganda.

Communists. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to look more into those stories. A lot of this come from Celtic Ligers, by the way. Okay, yeah. The Ditch and Celtic Ligers. I was wondering, why is he so learned it all of a sudden? Well, yeah, the ditch.

I mean, it just goes, but then, like, it just goes show RTE, you know. They're not news, man, it's propaganda. Man, you're going to get shot. Yeah, I hope so. I hope so. By myself. But, yeah, like, they're never going to report on any actual, you know. No, because with RTE, it's like, they got to look towards a future.

So it's like, look, if I burn my bridge with this guy, I won't get a scoop later on. It's all scratched my back. You know, you leak this, and I'll say this about you, you know. But, you know, we will get a headline. It's like, oh, Conan McGregor was booed at the Libbiscuit concert. It's like, there are a record number of homeless families on the streets of Dublin. It's like, no, the Lipiscuit story.

It's much more important. To be honest, I didn't actually see much of this. I just saw a video him. What happened? Is Limbiscuit Pro? Conor McGregor? No, I think he just kind of said, hey, how do we feel about McGregor?

And everyone, boo. And then he goes, oh, because I think he's here tonight. And everybody said boo. I think Fred Durst knows. Like the Phantom of the Opera and McGregor's like, eh, you know, like. Maybe did the rape trial make headlines outside of

Ireland? Weirdly, very few headlines. It is actually kind of strange. I was watching it. Like, even like when McGregor allegedly, like, raped a girl at a fucking Miami Heat game. Oh, yeah. That was more kind of like, and other news, McGregor raped a woman

allegedly, uh, look at the Irish, you know, I just moved on all right. And even like, I was watching like, you know, bars to do LESPN, not in. Wow. Notting at all. Or it might be like a very small little thing of like, McGregor was involved a little kerfuffle.

Yeah. And he got in trouble for something either TV license or a rape or who know. There's no way to find out, you know. Because he's too powerful over there He's got proper 12 And he's got a... Yeah And he's like what

He's worth a couple hundred billion Right? He's, you know Yeah, yeah He's still work quite a bit Yeah, yeah He's getting into other stuff now I know he bought these women

These young women To be in a band What? He's starting his own band Like the McGregorette Yeah, basically It's like his version of BTS Where he buys these young girls

But I say young I mean like you know They're of age, okay And he just kind of like They have to do what he says And have to sing for him If you don't sing for him He beats them

Allegedly, but that's how you train them, you know, in a way. I mean, that's how we got girls allowed. Yeah. Well, you have to, don't they with ballet, they break their spine, the hips? What? Do you ever hear that? With ballet, they break a girl's hips so she dances better. How would breaking their hips make them dance better?

Oh, no. Oh, I made a big mistake. That explains a lot. Hello, Sergey, turns out, you were right? Yeah, no, I dropped the ball on that one. I've heard, like, they give them, like, things to stunt their growth, you know? Oh, like, hormones. No, I heard, I heard that, like, if you break their hips, the hips regrow.

Now I feel stupid. Well, maybe they do. I don't know. No, I'm losing confidence in this completely, yeah. Did you read it in the ditch? Yeah. In the children's hospital that I will have the best ballet team in the world. I've been reading the ditch.

It's like, you're just reading a newspaper in a ditch, Briano Tool Times. Let's move away from that, alright A few other things I want to talk about So I watched Silo Okay Silo's this science fiction thing from Apple And Apple, because they have the money They're really leaning into the sci-fi kind of world

You know, doing all these sci-fi shows Severance seems to be very popular Very, very popular, yeah Almost a too popular You know the way I go against the grain Sure, you're punk rock dude I'm watching the cable guy instead It's a great film

Why are you saying that ironically? Oh no I swear to God, you're making a joke there. No, I wasn't. You think that's funny, eh? They're both directed by Ben Stiller. Oh, no, I watched Duplex then. You're happy now? It's a fucking great film.

It's directed by Danny DeVito. Show some respect. Oh, okay. Oh, no, what? You got a problem with Death to Smoochie now, too, I bet. Ben Stiller didn't do that. No, Danny DeVito, didn't you. Fuck wit. I know, this isn't fun for me.

No, well, it's very... It's not fun for the viewers. But, you know what? It's long overdue. I've stored. but idly by all it takes for evil to flourish is for cable guy fans

to do nothing. First it came for cable guy and I did nothing. But anyway, so silo. Oh, silo, okay, yeah. So it's a new big science fiction show. So season two aired recently and it just commissioned

season three and four. Right. So it's based on books. That would be the whole story of the books. Okay. So it's like they've got a plan for it which gives me hope. And the books are very well regarded.

Okay. and what a silo is like a you know we put grain in oh yeah imagine that but it's like the biggest silo ever

and 10,000 people live in it uh huh yeah so it's 10,000 people live in a big silo why who knows that's the problem

oh so all the records were wiped in the big war the big event yeah yeah in the war the war was 100 years ago

okay so something happened we don't know what and they all live in a silo. They don't go outside. So it's like the village. Yes. The silo. But yeah, exactly. But not really, no.

So it's set in the future, we believe. And you can't, no, it's more like Cloverfield Lane. Okay. You can't go outside. Right. You're not allowed to go outside, okay? If you go outside, you'll die. Okay. And they all live in a silo together. I've been there for like thousands, thousand years.

It's a whole community. So it's like 47 levels and it's massive. So one could argue it's rather reminiscent of, Plato's Cave? No. Oh, yeah. Okay. I suppose you could, but not really. No, you definitely could.

Shut your mouth, pal. Yeah. Sorry. Please tell me more about the silo. I go back to Dr. Hooger like this. It's bigger on the inside, like a starting time machine. So the point is, okay, it's set in this silo, and everyone lives in there.

No one knows why you're in a silo what happened to the outside world, and it's this cool sheriff in the silo. Right. And his wife, Rashida Jones. All right. Okay. And Rashida Jones, there's all these rules and regulations, all right. Rashida Jones wants to get pregnant.

So in this film, getting pregnant is kind of like getting like a license for your dog or like adopting a child or something, you know. Okay. Where you have to go. Two rather different things, I would say, right. Get a license for your child. You know, have to deworm your child, have a check for fleas. Have a neutered. Yeah.

So do you have to apply? for it and put in the documents and all that and you get a one year cycle. Okay. You have one year to come in your wife and if you don't get pregnant, you're lost, okay? Right. And there's actually a thing inside her pussy, take it out. It's like a big kind of like a plug.

It's like a machine thing. To have to pull out our pussy. It's like now you can get pregnant. Like a flashlight? No, it didn't look. It looked very uncomfortable. Oh. I suppose some people like that, I suppose. I'm acting like, I suppose some people might like it when it's uncomfortable because they kind of feel like they deserve of it, and Daddy wants to punish them.

But anyway, back to science fiction. Oh, put it in my silo, daddy. I'm a naughty little whore. So the take out this... Give me your grain. To take out this anti-pregnancy device, okay?

And they've got a year to get pregnant. Okay. So that's like the story of first episode. They're trying to get pregnant. He's the sheriff. And she works in, like, a tech company run by Tim Robbins. Oh. Yeah. And what's funny is, Tim Robbins and this, he's a real stern.

Like, you didn't follow the rule, rule subsection 934. You need to follow this, okay? And when they were promoting the show, Tim Robbins said, this is a lot like the world under lockdown during COVID. These stupid rules don't make any sense. Oh. And then everyone else, like, we're not going to, you know, no more publicity. No, no, I'm just getting my groove.

And you all know who runs in Silo, don't you? Silo is kind of like a, on their heads, you know? Yeah, it's a big yarmulke. Yeah. They want to make big titties illegal like Susan Saradden. But they're not together anymore. No, they didn't.

That's a shame. Don't worry. She'll come back crawling back because of silo. That's right. But the point is, no one knows what's outside. You can look at a window to see a desolate of wasteland, but that might not be real. Oh.

We'll get to it later on, okay? So this guy who seems to have some connection with Rashida Jones is like, oh, I found this disc, all right? This disc of information before the war. Okay. Before we forgot everything. It's just the limp biscuit CD. Yeah.

They're doing it all for the nookie. Come on, the nookie. They play it and they just rise up against the total aryans. Just one of those days where you don't want to wake up. Yes. Yes, dude. That'd be such a cool music video. Hell, yeah.

We still... I would do like a rock opera with the work. Like, Mamma Mia, but it's Limp Biscuit instead of Abba. That would actually be awesome. That'd be so good. I'd love it. Well, do it then. Let's do it.

Get off your ass. I need the money. Somebody who's got to finance my Limp Biscuit Rock Opera? Yeah. What's going to say? So they find a disc, all right, and it's not Limp Biscuit. Well, we don't know. Actually, we don't...

We see her reading it And the next scene is her In the cafeteria There's like a shared cafeteria Okay And she's screaming She's like, it's all a lie You know, she's gone crazy, okay

Okay And the husband's like Please stop, She's like no, I need to go out Like if you go out You'll die I don't care, I'm going out Yeah

So it's like she's crazy We've all let her out Alright So the let her out Haven't you watched Not going out Because we're back I assume that's the plot

Of that show I've never seen it But oh you can't go Bloody outside Cause a bloody waste open apocalyptic wasteland out there it's even worse than Birmingham oh just to go on a tangent for a minute you know not going out all right yeah that started off like a friends rip off right where it's like

lemak and his buddies live in an apartment you know it's like a will they won't day it's like you're going out to you know pull a few birds oh okay and like oh i spill some on me shirt yeah and then like some woman helps like oh she's a nice piece of crumpet but then it's it's actually a man oh yeah she's got a deep voice and Lee Max like get the fuck out you're disgusting yeah and that's the episode ends like that right yeah you just spat on me there

oh did I yeah yeah well that's okay you're excited I'll drink some more I don't think that's gonna help less lubrication in your mouth is what you need I get too excited right yeah the point is not going out is like on season 11 now they're all like

well now he's not going out because he's hooked up to a dialysis machine and he's in his fucking mid 70s no now okay he's married your one they've moved out to the countryside it's become a family sitcom it's become my family

wow so it's gone from friends to my family has anular show had that big a change I don't think so so it's completely changed settings and all that no yeah it's pretty interesting I'm writing my thesis about it yeah yeah but anyway back to the silo oh yeah so just to finish this all

we watch the pilot all right oh good the pilot okay what's wrong with that sorry no I'm sorry no commitment why didn't you watch all two seasons Brian So point is, okay She wants to go out So let her out

All right You can see the window She's walking out She falls over dead Ah And then three years later The husband is like Really sad and depressed

And he just looks at our body all time You look at the window And see her dead body Wait, it's still there Yeah Is it decomposing? It's on the way, yeah Three years

Surely it'd be How long does it take a body To decompose? You should know this, Brian I don't know Well maybe that's a clue You fucking, yeah Oh.

I don't know, to be honest. Okay, the point is, okay. Maybe it was three months. I don't know, okay. But, shut up. The point is, okay. He's like, you know what?

I can't take any more. I need to go out as well. Like, you're crazy. You'll die. He's like, well, I need to know the truth. Her pussy's still there. I can still crack one off inside of her. We can still get her pregnant.

Yeah. But that's how it ends. Ah. Yeah. Do you honestly, I probably won't watch anymore. Sounds pretty fucking stupid, right? Well, it's all these, like, mystery shows. There's, like, lost or what's, you know,

what's outside. the silo. He was like, I... Wayward Pines or whatever that was called. What was that one called? You were right. Yeah. You're acting like you don't know. It's like a David Lynch style. Basically like a rip-off. Yeah, yeah. By Chamelon. Oh, was it Shamelon?

Oh, then you know it's going to be shy. Yeah, so I don't think I'll watch any more of it. Yeah. Well, I'm glad I watch it. A lot of people are watching it now. On the bus and I hear people like, you watch the silo, do you? Oh, yeah, the silo, blue they're rapid bulls. Yeah, and it's like, everyone who watched the silo? And everyone in the bus puts their hands up.

Yeah. I don't. Get out. You fucking Pido, get out. Let's all go to the silo orgy. What? I've watched Tim Robbins. I love Tim Robinson. That's the wrong one, you're fucking...

I'll tell you what, Pat. I think you should leave. Oh, you've stitched me up there. Oh, God. All right. Yeah, new Tim Robinson movie with Paul Rod. That should be good. If it isn't, I'm going to be so fucking angry.

And I'm going to take it out on you, Brian. You're going to feel my wrath. I don't like how, in the new Tim Robinson movie, Friendship, all right? He's meant to be a kind of a loser. He's like a schlubby, normie loser. Yeah. And his wife is Kate Mara. Really?

Yeah, that's his wife. He's like, I fucking hate my life. Yeah. My dumb, beautiful wife doesn't appreciate my Marvel references. Look at those perfect perky takes. Makes me sick. But that's always the case. like any kind of American movie or anything.

That's why like Sean Baker. Sean Baker isn't afraid to have ugly people's movies, you know? Not Mikey Madison. That kind of ruins my point. But the point is, um, where American movies, it's like some fat, slubby guy and he's married like,

you know, this beautiful princess, you know? He's not fat, but he is weird looking. Who? Tim Robinson? Oh, I'm not talking about Tim Robinson. Just talking about general, you know,

like more of Kevin James. Yeah, yeah, with, uh... Yeah, and even like these movies about poverty, like, you know, like, um, the town, for example. it's like look at that stupid skanky bitch played by like Blake lively yeah but like in a

skanks can still be attractive Brian I'm not disagreeing that at all I'm just saying like she's very attractive in the film okay and also it's like Tom it's like Ben Affleck and all that like they're not like

these are pretty good looking guys in a point of right whereas when you go Hollywood for you know yeah but I'm saying when you go to like Mike Lee or something like that it's like oh this is this is

yeah Timothy Spall this is why I like now yeah well I just I just watch a film and I kind of was even thinking that. I watched a film last night, the Friends of Eddie Coyle, have you ever heard of that? Wait a minute. No.

Wow, okay. Wait, I think that's ringing a bell. It's a gangster film. It's a gangster film. Set in Boston it's from the 70s, but it's like Robert Mitchum, Peter Boyle, you know, it's kind of like... Oh, this is good for you now. You should be watching more it is. Okay. Now I won't. No, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna... Forget I watch that. I've got to re-watch the cable guy. Game on God Well, look who decided to show I get that reference Yeah, good You don't, good, you should Bob Odenkirk was in it

Yes, he was And David Cross Both of the Mr. Show guys Yeah Oh my God He played Matthew Broderick's co-worker Well I'm a big fan of it

Are you, yeah You let myself down Yeah, yeah You're embarrassed Not only me But the life we have built together. No, but friends

of any coil, very good. Yeah, I want to watch more, like, more old. Now that, you know, like, what was that shite you were making me watch there? The Welcome to the Spider-Verse. What's wrong with that? That was horrific. Welcome to Spider-Verse.

That was like an MK Ultra style fucking, like, you strap me into the chair with my eyes open. Like, that was torture. That is the ultimate Marvel minute. It's just like 80-H-D garbage. It was, it's a lot, all right?

And if you're not accustomed to it, like, me, you know, then it's going to be a lot, alright? Yeah, well, that's why I'm going back to the friends of Eddie Coyle. It's just me and Robert Mitchum's out. Well, you watch out, because you're going to make Eddie Coyle spin-off. It's going to be Eddie Coyleverse.

All the Peter Biles from all the different universes, black Peter Bile, Indian Peter Bile, Chinese Peter Bile, and they're all coming to get you. Oh, God, your phone's going on there, the Peter Bail alarm. Yeah, yeah. Peter Boyle

It sounds great, though. Can I interrupt you for a minute? You're speaking of movies to watch. Yeah. I would recommend Day of the Jackal. Day of the Jackal. I watched it recently. I fucking surprised by how much I loved it.

Okay. So Day of the Jackal, you know the way I've been on my little John LaCarray kick? Yes. I'm reading John LaCarray books. I read one of more recent books before he died recently. But I've heard of Frederick Forsy. Okay.

He's one of those guys. He's one of those guys, like an airport trailer kind of. Like a Tom Clancy kind. A little bit like that. But I didn't know anything about. about him. I knew he wrote some books that people know about like Data Jackal. Right. But you know, he is like John Le Carre, where he was a journalist and he worked for

MI6 for like 20 years. Oh wow. And like John LaCarray, they always play it down, was like, I didn't do that much really. Just, you know, I just worked there for like 20 years. Did not much though. I did, you know, assassination. Yeah, you know, we just killed some brown people. Who are them as the Falklands, really, you know? It's a bit of a misadestadestatting, really. So he was a journalist in France during the time

of Charles de Gaulle Now you know much about Charles de Gaul I know of them Yeah okay So Charles DeGal I actually I'll be honest with you

I know him from Futurama Hey The point is You know O'Brien And where's Bender And don't say

That's me Alright you fucking I knew what you were going to say You took the cock Right out of my mouth So Charles de Gaul He is no

He was a French Prime Minister Or T-Shock wherever Okay No Prime Minister Yeah And he gave independence to Algeria. Yes.

Algeria was a kind of like a Northern Ireland. Yeah, yeah, a colony. Yeah, French colony. And when he gave him independence, he became very disliked by many French people. Yes. Because they're going to go wild, James. And French people aren't safe now.

You give them independence. It's like they're going to, basically it's kind of like, you know, Day of the Dead? Yeah. It's Day of the Algerian. Yeah. So there was a group. I'm terrified.

There's a group called O.S. And they were like, kind of like, imagine if the UVF wanted to kill the queen. Okay. So they were like French. The IRA? Yeah, because they're French. And they're proud to be French. All right.

Yeah. So it's like, you're actually like you're a pussy. Oh. We want to take over France. Okay. Yeah. That's what I mean. It's like they're killing their own people.

Right. So they're not going after Algerians. They're going after the French prime minister. Oh. Yeah. So this is true. It's like you're a traitor to the, to French. The French people

You've committed treason Yeah, exactly, yeah So they set up OSI And their whole thing is They want to do assassinate The Prime Minister Yeah, and kind of like America With Che Guevara and all that, right?

They had all these assassination attempts And they all failed Oh wow Like multiple assassinations times Some like silly ones, you know Like that's what a bomb in his shoe Or something like that, you know It's like, you know

Like the bomb just blows up the shed they're in You know But other ones are just like, you know How about we stand there We're trying to shoot them we'll shoot that bulletproof car and then we'll win Sockley blue

It has not to work So it didn't work And eventually all the leaders got round up And you know killed or arrested Right now Okay That's real life But Frederick Forsy

Was a journalist during the time And he was like How about write a thriller Set journal about this But it's like about a really cool assassin Yeah I'll make up in my head This assassination attempt

That's really complex and crazy You know And that became Dave the Jackal. Okay. All right. So that's like the preamble there. And Dave the Jackal, it stars

James Fox, I think. Yeah. One of the Foxx's dad. There's a lot of them. I, yeah. They're kind of like Copulas. Are they all actors? Like, mostly all actors, yeah.

Or failed actors, you know? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so the film starts off with like one of these botched assassination attempts. Okay, where they're like literally to stand that road. They're like, oh, there he is shit. Is that him? Who cares?

She. Yeah. So they try and shoot the Prime Minister It doesn't work, alright? And this really got chuckle out on me. So they bring one of the guys in for trial and all that and he's like, yes, I did it.

I do it. And I'll kill him right now if I could. He's a traitor to France. Okay. Like you realize we're going to... You're going to be tried and you're going to be executed by firing squad. It's like, ha, no, I won't.

No firing squad would dare kill me because they know I'm a true Frenchman. Hard cut him getting shot by firing squad. That's pretty funny. Yeah, it was very, I wasn't expecting that kind of humor in it. Okay. And so the OSI are now like, oh fuck, you know. We are too emotional.

We want to kill him too much. Yeah, yeah. We need to get a stone cold killer. So they get this James Fox guy, the jackal. The jackal. And they say like, you know, he's all the cool killings, he's done. So you know, like Patrice O'Neill. They kill them with diabetes. Mamba?

La Preece de Momba. Patrice La Mumba. La Mumba. That's it. Yeah. Patrice Lamumba. That's it. Samantha Mamba. Yes. And she was killed by the CIA. Yeah, I know.

And they faked it, yeah. That Donald Scheehan guy did it. That's right. And where's Omero, Mamba? Never heard from him again. Yeah. He's been kept in Area 51. It's true.

Look it up, Brian. So, real quick, all right? So they get him to, I won't tell you the whole plot writing. It's actually a good movie, all right? But they get him in, and he's just like a stone cold, just like, yeah, so I'll go for this much. Give me the money now.

You will not hear from me again until after he's killed. Thank you. What's my name? The jackal. You know? Yeah. And then it's all this very kind of like, what's the word for it? It's like you're watching something.

It's very kind of therapeutic and calming. Yeah, so him going around the places, you know, he's like, he's like scoping out the place. You can tell he's like, looking, okay, that's good spot there. That woman lives there. I'm going to charm her, kill her, get the key. Okay, I'm going to make a fake key, all right. I'm going to go library. I'm going to take the, like, you know, a hall of records kind of thing.

of like a dead child and take the identity dead child you know make a fake passport he goes like this old man who's like

I make special guns for assassins and like devil chat and he's like he's real charming and all that and he like then oh great bit

okay I won't tell you everything but this really funny bit all right is the bit in it where they've hired this master detective to try and find

the jackal all right he's like the best of the best and he tapes all the friendship officials, he bugs them.

Oh. Without their knowledge. Oh, okay. Because he's like, we're going to be cover all our bases here. And it turns out the jackal has charmed and in the process fucked this woman. And you're like, why? Turns out she's the wife one of the French officials. Oh. So they have this big meeting. Okay. All the French guys are there. Yeah. And the detective plays a tape. I was like, oh, hello, Mr. Jackal. Oh, last night. Oh. But when will I see you again?

And he's like, oh, I'll see you. You know, he's like, press his stop. He's like, who, whose wife is that? And some guy's like, it is me. I regret to inform you. That is my wife.

My wife. Yeah. My wife. He's like, please excuse me. And he goes off and just kills himself. Class. For France. Vive la France.

How does he do it? I think he hangs himself. He does, he don't show. just say he does it yeah but i had a great time watching it it's very kind of cool to see him do all down like be very charming he's good at being like he's not james bond he's very charming and british okay but he's good like kind of like the dead eyes like time to kill you know like yeah yeah yeah like he can tell he's faking to kind of like oh just just a tourist i am you know like the um you know it's kind of it's when you were describing it there like the methodical

aspect of it's showing his process i was getting flashbacks of the killer yeah i imagine a killer is a huge um it was so hugely influenced by yeah so kind of makes me not that i particularly liked the killer but kind of just like oh so this is like a total actually you know what shitty rip off it's a whole bit where he's he has this little gun that he's putting together it's like especially made little gun okay yeah putting it together he's waiting for um you know charles the gall he's setting up and it's exactly the opening of the killer yeah so you're right you've yeah you've cracked it i have yeah so Fincher, fuck you.

That's it, I'm saying it. Now, there was a remake of the Jackal, I believe. I need to watch, I haven't watched it fully, but I've watched a little bit on telly, okay? I've heard it's dog shit. Matt, for one thing, Bruce Willis is a killer in it, all right? And he is like, he's like, not gay, but he uses his sexuality sometimes.

Like, he kisses a guy. Oh. Yeah, and then kills him. That's pretty baldsy for Bruce Willis to do in the 90s. Yeah, yeah. The bit I saw on TV, I was like, okay, is a very different film because I was comparing it

while watching the old Dave Jackal is you know what to mention he goes like the old man he's like I need you to get me a gun and he's like

ah yes well I'm you know very methodical okay right in the remake the Jackal goes to Jack Black and Jack Black's like

yeah this is how you do it man woo you know rock and row it's a long way there's a talk if you want a rock and roll

I remember this is a half remember thing but I think I remember correctly he has like this special gun that moves around okay he's like yeah man it can heat seek it can trace anyone you press the button it's gonna kill whoever's standing in front of it woo and Bruce Willis like really beep whoa me I'm off the hell

I'm out of way to hell and he like blows him up that's awesome yeah very different type of movie sounds very stupid and then Richard gear is like the you know the cool detective in it also it's one of those movies the old one where All the French people are just British. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know, Nazi movies. It's like, yeah, it's like British, France, who cares, you know?

It was made by Americans, but it feels like very British, I'll say that. Well, yeah, James Fox anyway. Yeah, yeah. What's on other movies, he said, performance? Performance, yeah. It's meant to be, didn't he have, like, a total mental breakdown after performance? He wasn't, he wasn't, uh, he wasn't, uh, too healthy, yeah. Okay.

Have you, you ever seen performance, have you? No, I've never seen it. It's Mick Jagger, isn't I? I watched it when I was way too young. Okay. So I watched it, like, I went through a phase. I was like, I'm going to watch all the good movies. Yeah, what age were you?

You've told me about this phase. What age were you? I don't know, it's in, like, maybe like early secondary school. But, like, you know, like, I go home every night and watch, like, I'm going to watch the Godfather's night. Like, this is so boring. And I watched, like, 2001, like, this is not good at all. It doesn't make any sense.

Yeah. Like, oh, he's fucked up at the end. Well, this doesn't make any sense at all, yeah. And then I watch performance, okay? And again, I'll probably get more about it now, but it's like, you know what, gangster. who goes undercover and then he's hanging out with Mick Jagger

and something about like identity where he They switch identity Yeah he's taking on the identity of Mick Jagger but then like he starts to become him

in the I don't know exactly Some weird shit You know I don't like it You know Fair enough I can watch Twin Peaks

I'm like this what They fucked up completely here That doesn't make any sense What Why is that thing still alive Lockerhead little freakazoid Just a midget So we're almost at the hour there

What time is there? I don't know I don't know fucking gave you shit either Suck my pickard It's 10 to 6 Yeah You have to get going Now you've got a gig

The gig's like eight Would it be? When's crashing burn normally? I don't know They don't book me They like to You know Do that thing

That all the clubs do And not book me So It's a running gag I'm glad you're not better Yeah I'm not I think it's great

I'm actually laughing all the time All the way to the bank The food bank You can't come three times a day I'll get out of here Please I need more ham and cheese sandwiches

Oh yeah fucking down You've got a crown for Burger King I'm so hungry I'm so hungry that was uh yeah i um i actually made no before he said recording i was like i'm going to be very kind of um stoic and more not like hmm why just like you know because i'm i feel i'm just cackling like laughing all the time you know what's wrong with that if i say something funny you're not gonna laugh you just told me this before you said i'm not just in this podcast but

out in real life's like i'm going to make a point to not be i'm going to be like very standoffish and not laugh but do you not see that to feel the need to have to do that all it shows a sort of inherent weakness to your character can you not just be who you are as opposed to this

actually you know what every time I watch anything you know so I watch like a Lewis J. Gomez special I watch it you know night crawler whatever it is I'm like I'm him I'm going to be like him I'm day of the jacket oh yes yeah I'm

Let's be honest, mate. You're the fucking frog whose wife is banging somebody and then you go rub yourself with the jacks. That's who you are, Brian. Be who you are. Do you have a wife?

Be yourself. And the prostitution you were banging. What? You've been unfaithful to me? How could you? What about the chastity ring I gave? I feel a bit dizzy now.

But yeah, I'm going to try. I want to be more like, what? I think that'd be more kind of cool and aloof, you know? Why? It's kind of like dead eyes, you know? I wish I was more autistic, honestly.

Your parents don't say that, but all right. Well, what can we talk about? I'm afraid I'm too like that. When I'm in public, when I'm trying to talk to people, I'm just, my brain shuts off. There's like a shutter goes down and I go completely blank and can't think of anything.

So somebody would be like, oh yeah so how's things i'm like yeah good you know it's not endearing like you're talking to the guards people don't like it i do i get that some of the times though yeah but you know what the annoying thing is when i'm with someone i'm like god i wish i was more aloof and all that yeah but when i'm actually with someone that i'm not comfortable with yeah i get like that i'm like you fucking freak yeah you should be more like russell brand you know not like that but you'd be more like oh hello oh good Tomorrow, say, what a wonderful day

The gods hath gifted us. Yeah, not good, not good. That's what you need to be doing when you're out fliering for the crack dead, you know? I was with someone recently, and I was like, fell to luf and I tried to make a joke. And I was like, never again, never again. I can't remember now, I'm drawn a blank.

This doesn't matter, okay, not a good story. Yeah. The point is, okay, it's like, I remember there was a guy I knew that had that big penis. He used to find a hard talk to him. Sure. But, you know, as I get older, realize you just

don't gel with people sometimes it's like you don't riff well with them yeah yeah it's not do with you Brian no it's exactly to do with you well it's definitely my fault like you know it is

that's why you had that big penis for you yeah well it is contagious oh just before we go shout out again to Kevin Larnie and Jason Brennan yeah we went out to Fibbers

together and met some people I bought on Buckfast and all that's nice Well I didn't buy him book They gave me the money and I bought it Okay And I drank it all like a little pig You know

I forgot it I used to drink My go-to on a night out Before we get to the pub Two bottles of Buckfast Wow And like half a bag of methadrone You know

Wow Yeah Man we're very different now I was I'd have one can of Bulmer I'm a beast Mother I've fallen off the wagon

Yeah, I have to be Carrier away Into the madhouse Check me into the Benny Ford Clinic I'm checking in All right that's enough for that Let's go

Bye bye