Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 247 : Good Luck Chuck

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

We go to Dane Cooks house and meet a disgusting person called Dan Fogler.

All right. Recording. Recording. Oh, my God. Yeah. And begin. And we're back, guys,

for a free episode. It's Brian and James. You've been up to much, James. You've been kind of living on my couch for the last little while? You mean last night?

Yeah? Yeah. Who's keeping track? But yeah. Apparently, no, I was out... You have a good time? Yeah, I think we had a good time.

I was out gigging last night, had a few pints, you know? This is how it should be. James is out and about, okay, having pints. With the last time.

lads with his hoars and he comes back to me and I'm like oh do you have a good time James you're like shut up how fucking look at me what the fuck why is this gaff so disgusting the second I get in the door it's yap yap yap all right

do you know I'm fucking on the edge do you know how tough it is out there I'm trying to make people laugh and then I come home to this look at you fat pig you know do you ever hear a bit of makeup or something you a fucking hog

make me sick. Yeah. Clean the gaff up as well. It stinks worse than your box, love. It comes to you very easy, doesn't it? It flows ever so naturally. Probably nothing to worry about there. I'm just that good at improv.

That's what it is. Well, you couldn't improv like being a nice husband. That's impossible. Go on. I have no frame of reference for it. write what you know is what they say you know so a lot of people out there a bit worried like we were talking earlier about the tariffs yeah man so trump uh there's a weird presentation so they're just sending an email or press release trump had this like list okay almost like you know

letterman would do his top tens back in the day yeah yeah he had this list of like the tariffs just like a big like a five or it no a three thing of cardboard yeah just like this big's like so China up the top And we've got This is Singapore Never even heard of it But look at what they're charging Is it so much

And like wow That's so much percentage Yeah he had a little comment For every single one Yeah yeah The EU you know Say they're friendly Not friendly

South Africa Need I say more Lethal weapon too Have you seen They think they've all got Diplomatic community Well no you don't I'm afraid no

Yeah And then they're saying That this is going to lead To recession in Ardens Yeah, man. And this might affect, might even affect us. I mean...

It might affect the Patreon. When podcasters aren't immune to the fluctuations of the market, you know the end times are here, brother. This is what happens before every great civilization fell. The Ottoman Empire, the Roman Empire. Ballymon. That other stanky one out there. You know, that one.

Oh, the Mayans, that was it, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, man, it's... Have you been doing much to kind of, like, distract yourself from the realities? I dobscrolling on TikTok. Good, good, yeah, yeah. I've been on TikTok, but I've been interacting with people online, you know? Like...

Getting more abuse from Garoni Annoon fans? Not that much abuse, a little bit of abuse. And Alster Campbell fans as well. Okay. Yeah, he's got some pretty... big fans as well. Does he really? Yeah. Garanoon, Alistair Campbell. It's only matter time for a start of podcast

to get her. Yeah. I'll tell you it was something a little bit intriguing. Afghanistan genocide. Extra-licious. So it's intriguing, okay? So I mentioned to you last night I watched Rocket Man. And I was like yeah, it wasn't that good really. It was okay.

And then you got real defensive about it. I didn't realize you're kind of like, you're really into Rocket Man. I wouldn't say that. But I did like it. I watched it and I like it more than I thought I would. It changed my mind on Taryn Edgerton because I really didn't like him. He is good. Yeah. He is good. He's the best power

of Rocket Man. Yeah. I think it was more so that I was, I didn't hate it, if you know what I mean? I was like, yeah, I enjoyed it. I'm not saying that it's the greatest film ever and you're a fucking cut for not liking it. But you were saying that off, Mike. Well, yeah. In the shops.

You're saying that. All right there, no. You know, this fucking freak doesn't love the Rocket Man. Isn't he fucking mental in the head, isn't he? We'll fucking walk away from me. What a pale customer, you bitch? Again, improv.

I'm very good at improv. So Rocket Man is the Elton John story. Yeah. A lot of these biopics, the story isn't that interesting really, you know? Yeah. Like Elvis is interesting, you know? You got like he's fat, he's dead. You know, a lot of stuff with that.

You know, well, well, I don't know why I'm like, yeah, he is actually, yeah. I was like, uh, actually James, uh, they didn't consummate the marriage until she was of age. Yeah, Dane Cook says that as well. In defense of Elvis. No, no, no, no, himself. So, Dan Cook, I think married an 18 year old. Yeah, 19, I think when he was like 40 old. Yeah, but I think he met her much earlier.

Right. I think he had a games night in his house. Yeah. And she was the only one invited. But they only just held hands and ate jelly beans, you know. and they wait until she was 19, then they had consummated. He used to have pizza parties, and you know who else was in attendance? Seth Green and won Isaac Cappy.

Who's there? Oh, if you have to ask, brother. Get into it. I want to know who Isaac Cappy. Isaac Cappy is the guy who, like, went mental, like, he had a mental breakdown. He was in Thor. He, like, had a bit part in Thor. Oh, so now I'm interested.

Okay, so he was an actor in Hollywood, but not very successful. And he started having a mental breakdown and going on, live streams on Facebook saying Tom Hanks, Seth Green Stephen Spielberg are all pedos, right? So that was him and then he ended up like jumping off a bridge, wink

wink, but then everyone thinks he was murdered, but anyway. Isn't it likely that he's just a guy with mental health issues? That is very likely that killed him. If you're a fucking goober who believes anything. Yeah, yeah. You like, I've got a sandpit in this horror to sell to you.

You're rude. I like, I like doing that hook line and sinker Epstein obviously had mental health issues and he killed himself not looking to there guys Men's mental health matters

maybe listen to the blind boy podcast I bet Epstein was a big fan of blind boys he liked he liked blind boys easier to get there you go

but so Isaac Capi so he said and is there anything else with that I mean he just like like so he he did a lot of, you know, live streams and his videos

so in the conspiracy, in the mentally ill conspiracy, Pizza Gate loving world, aka Cadetown, Ken Town. Where the cool guys like to hang out. The only place you feel welcomed, you know?

He's kind of like a prophet, a martyr, you know. So it's like Q and on kind of thing. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He died for sins. Correct. But anyway, actually, can I just interrupt you from me, speaking of that world, I did watch the Dear Kelly documentary The Channel 5 documentary

So it's Andrew, what's his name? Andrew Shultz I think that's a Callahan Sorry I was drinking softening And instead of just like talking away I was like James Talk now

So I watched the Channel 5 documentary Dear Kelly You haven't watched it have you I have not no So I actually rented it I bought it online for like five quid you like to support

abusers well not that but like I couldn't just find it online I wasn't aroused all right okay so I got dear Kelly and it's interesting so it's Andrew Santano what what's his name again Andrew Callahan who's Santano

he's the ginger guy does the podcast for Bobby Lee I was like where's Bobby Leach this is bad friends right yeah you know they're coming to Dublin three arena I can't wait how mental is that

that they're big enough for the three aren't. I've bought 40 tickets. Have you? Yeah. Yeah. All the money I had is all, I can't pay the rent this month. But I'm sure the landlord understand. Yeah, yeah. Should I support my guys? Come on. Look, you can come with me to the

bad friends pod. We'll do the Bobby Lee meet and greet. Just don't fall asleep around them, you know. Don't bring any Tijuana teenagers. Yeah. But anyway, so, Dear Kelly. Yeah, so I watched Dear Kelly.

and it's about this guy obviously called Kelly all right so what's happening is Andrew Callahan is doing his usual stuff interviewing mentlers yeah okay

and he talks this one guy who's mental but he's like very entertaining he's talking about how you know usual stuff we've all thought

about you know like the Illuminati killed Kobe Bryant and Hillary Clinton you know eats babies and all that

all that kind of regular stuff right and he's like I want to actually do more to interview a crazy person I want to find out how they got this way and maybe possibly help them.

Sure. So that's kind of like the premise of the documentary, right? Yeah, he's all about helping people. He is, yeah. Not exploiting. No, of course not. No, no, no, no. He's a good man.

Deplicitous worm, that's what he is. No, so he gets this Kelly guy and it's fun because it's mostly from Kelly's point of view to start. Right. So he is like this kind of a man that he has all this footage of him, all right? his house is fucking nice really he's like I think he's in like some kind of sales job

hell yeah he's got this awesome house with a pool he's got like kids beautiful wife you know he is happy out all right great what's the problem no problem at all okay but then what happens when this fucking curly herd nerd comes in like um it's actually bad to say the illuminati kill

Kobe Brian there's no proof of that yeah sure yeah so then I think the recession hit and stuff like that he kind of loses his job and he doesn't handle it well he kind of goes further down the rabbit hole he can't sustain the house

all right but he's living way beyond his means anyway like with the sales job he couldn't afford that shit yeah so when the recession comes is like of course you're going to lose the house you couldn't afford it even during the good times well that was the thing like yeah in the good times they were just giving out loans and subprime mortgages to people who could not afford

it could never pay it back it was crazy yeah so eventually the pressure of all that leads to divorce and now he's an older man who's got a lot of free time the kids are in college he's like well I might as well just go on the internet

I'll go on one message board what's the worst that could happen and then he gets really into like Charlie Kirk and stuff like that Andrew Tate and Funtes and all that kind of guy he gets really in that stuff and he starts

doing his own videos especially especially during COVID you've got so much free time now that he's not just watching these videos he is making them and also like his day he would be getting up alright because he's unemployed and I need to do more this like he'd get up

smoke a joint and he's listened to like basically 20 hours of all the good shit all the info wars all the Andrew Tate stuff all like you know two bears one cave you know all the all the darkest most fucked up the brave shit

the blind boy podcast all like the most fucked up shit possible all right and that's not good for you. No. It doesn't talk to his kids, too busy listening to Nick Funtez. Who wants to talk to their fucking kids, though, at the end of the day? You said it not me, pal. I did.

They'll come after me like they came after Chapel Rhone for speaking the truth. Look, let me just clear this up right now. People are angry at Chapel Rhone. They're not angry at her for what she said. If those words came out of a more attractive person, I don't think anyone would have a problem. James now you're right what did I say well she she's pretty attractive yeah I know yeah she's

pretty a she's not she's not my standard yeah well I think she's good enough to touch it don't think so yeah she ain't got the stuff she's got the muff and put this clip up and all the chaper old oh that's bit rich coming from you you fat ugly pig yeah oh yeah yeah uh pig says what And I'm like the guy He'd be like No James Don't say that She's brilliant

She's talented Shut up you But then you know what it is She'll see it Then she was like Oh I don't want that skinny nerd He was defending me I want that fat off

Who was calling me a pig Oh she'd be like He's the only guy That was brave enough To call me an ugly pig Yes He's gonna be He's the one

Yeah And then they get married You and her You're kissed each other And I'm sitting in the back Grooving on it You think you're invited no sir

I'll be showing up anyway yeah like Dustin Hoffman in the graduate or forever hold your tongue you come in with a boot box playing our podcast

you know oh fuck but anyway what we're talking about dear Kelly dear Kelly yeah yeah so during

COVID he stops consuming media and starts making media right so he's doing his podcast now he's got skin in the game

Yeah, so it's like, Hey, dear kelly.com. You know, it's like, hey, Kelly, something like Kelly Freedom Fighter, 420 or whatever like that, you know. And he does these, like, great videos, real investigative journalism where you go in like a Planned Parenthood?

It's like, yeah, you're eating the babies. Yeah, here's $10. Do you eat the babies, don't you? Do you rape the feet at first or do you eat it first? About eating, then you rape it, don't you? You fucking disgusting. I've got to kill you all. How would you rape it after you eat it, though, Brian?

You know? Don't question me. You eat the fetus and you kill Kobe Bryant, don't you? You threw a fetus in the helicopter blades that caused the crash. Oh, fuck. You had one of the fetuses fly in the helicopter, didn't you? And it was so distracted from all the raping and crashed and killed poor Kobe. Yeah, yeah.

So then they're like, please leave. Why? Getting too close to the truth, am I? What do I say? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to burn down this place and kill everyone here. This is what we need to start doing, well. We need to get into town there and start ruffling some feathers.

Well, he's just also a test goal. Why do the fetuses? Oh, fucking hell. So he's not doing well, basically. And he has, like, this big argument with his neighbor. He's got, like, a Mr. Wilson-style neighbor. He's like, you know, he ruined my life because he wants planning permission or something like that. Okay.

You know, basically, you know, it's just like he's going all over the place, all right? Yeah, yeah. So then Andrew decides to get Kind of a more of an insight into him So chats to him A lot hangs out with him And then starts talking to his wife And his kids

And the kids are interesting So the son Is a little bit like Yeah, he's my dad And sometimes I go to the protest And I don't really Agree too much But he's my dad

You know So it's like The dad's, you know Trone to Matt Oh, he's a lesbian Or something like Oh dead Maybe don't do that

But eh I go to the protest because say what you want but there's no pussy like conservative pussy you know Info Wars pussy is the best And then they talk to his daughter

And his daughter's a lesbian And the daughter's like I know yeah The daughter's like Yes I don't agree In my dad's politics I love my dad But my dad says

I'm going to hell Because of my lesbianism And I'm no longer his daughter And I'm dead to him Oh he's trying to save you From Eternal Damnation And he's he's the bad guy.

Oh, great, yeah. That's gratitude for you. Just, it just makes me sick, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, here's thing. So, the documentary is like 90 minutes long.

I think the main problem with this is doesn't need to be 90 minutes, and there's a bit of stretching. There's a lot of, like, there's a lot of Andrew talking about why people in general get into this, which is a bit like, kind of like,

armchair psychologist stuff. And also kind of, like he's already done that with his last HBO movie yeah yeah yeah what was that one called like uh displace rules yes yeah yeah well he says that he didn't have final edit of that okay so basically Jonah Hill took over

and made him like you know all the narration and stuff and displaced rules yeah that was all Jonah Hill made him say that really yeah yeah they said we're not going to release this and they wrote the script from everything oh because Jonah Hill was worried that it came off to kind of both sidesy right yeah and it affects his career right Um, you know, not the, boys, didn't they kiss a teenager or something like the...

Who, Jonah? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. So I think it's around that time. He's like, I don't need two things, you know? But there was also, like, the leaked DMs of, like, he was going out with this, uh, surfer chick. She's, like, professional surfer.

But she, like, was also a bit of a model, like, in surfing magazine and stuff. So he was like, stop posting pictures of you in your, uh, you know, bathing suit. It's like, but I'm a surfer. I'm going to be... Wear a hijab. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Why can't you wear one of those old-timey scuba suits?

Like in Scooby-Doo, you know? Yeah, yeah. And he was all like, you know, if you need the validation of other men, then this isn't the relationship for me and blah, blah, blah. Sounds like a cool guy. You've asked me, cool, chill guy. Setting his boundaries.

But anyway, yeah, he seems like, a bit of a one second one second Hansy yeah Jonah Hill he really did

fall out of favour you know what was the last thing he ever did dear stutz

or whatever it was called schutz dude's yeah anyway so back to dear Kelly yeah

so he has to make this into a 19 minute film and it doesn't really have those kind of

turns they need they need like like you know the whole thing you find the story

yeah he didn't find enough with the story I'd say. So there's a lot of he's talking to the daughter and son of Kelly

he's going to a party with them and just chats to my house party and it's like it becomes like a different thing he's coming out with the kids then yeah basically yeah

like a house school party like a fresher's party yeah hey nobody bats an eyelid if Louis Theroux turns up you know if Louis Thoreau takes a bong hate

you're like oh it's so funny and charming you know but um so it's like it's kind of like stretching away But the big kind of centrepiece is, I showed you a clip of this, they have an intervention for Kelly. And they get like a psychiatrist and the family there.

And they try to break them down and be like, you know, do you understand even if these things are real, you're using this to like separate yourself from your family? Yeah. You said your daughter's going to hell. Daughters don't like that comedy. You know what they're like. And can you like accept that like you're kind of like you're using this kind of as a boogeyman to like avoid a. responsibility and like you know not deal with the modern world and your life and that but isn't it also that he's just mentally ill that's another thing where's the

compassion for him there well look you gotta like somebody's gonna be tough to be kind right yeah tried being nice to him you know try going to the marches with him and like you know burning down planned parenthood with him you know it's not helping yeah so he's like oh yeah yeah I understand you're right like do not addicts he's not like I understand completely no more I've stopped believing all that yeah they're like well we can trust him the very next day he's at like a Charlie Kirk convention Hell yeah dude

Yeah and the daughter follows him And he's like You know it's a Q&A with Charlie Kirk Right You know Charlie Kirk don't you Yeah he's the guy He's like He set up on campuses

And then people would argue with him Yeah yeah yeah Kind of like what Stephen Crowder used to do All those fucking cuns Yeah So he's like I have a question for you Mr Charlie Kirk move over comment really

Why are you so freaking awesome Yeah Is your penis as big As I imagine it to be But then the kind of moment It's like I have a question It's his daughter

Oh Dad, why are you Talking this guy All right This guy says Gay people should go to hell You know like Why is he more important

Than me He's basically like I don't want to talk With us here I have another question Why aren't we pelting her With bricks right now Come on fellas

And he basically Abandones his family And he becomes You know, like, Deadheads. Yeah? That followed Grateful Dead around. Yeah. He's like that with Charlie Kirk.

That is fucking pathetic. Charlie Kirk tours around America, and he's following. He's like, you're still right, Charlie. And there's another video where he's like talking Charlie's like, you remember me from the Q&A? And Charlie's like, of course, yeah. I love all my fans. How could I forget? Yeah, I'll sign your tits, whatever.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, please. What exactly is Charlie Kirk's, like, credentials or? Just guy. what does he do? Like, he's going on tour to do what, just argue with college kids?

Basically that's it, yeah. I bet he's plants. He has, like, some guy with blue hair being like, you know, I think we should all have free money forever.

Mr. Kirk, isn't it true that sex with nine-year-olds is the best orgasm you'll ever have? Oh, see, this is what the left do. They all want to have sex

with nine-year-olds. That's true. right I must be in Ithaca right now because all I see

is a bunch of dorks and pussies boo I'm gonna find your teenage son and suck his dick so hard

his legs buckle and then Charlie Kirk is like throw him onto a table you know

oh it's the non-binary ooh hello like the lights go down like who is it

ha ha And my man or woman, you'll never know. Get him, Charlie Kirk. He's going to, he's going for the flag. He's got like a lighter. Yeah. I'm going to burn the flag. And then Hulk comes on Hulkomania.

I am a real American. Fight for the rights of every man. Not everyone. Only certain people. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's crazy, like, these people are so gay for,

even, like, you'll have, like, the Elton, not Elton, Elton Musk. Elon Musk. Yeah, imagine that, Elton Musk. Mm-hmm. No, you probably do something with that. I guess, because you could call Elon, Elton Musk, he's the real Rocket Man. Oh, my God. I am the Rocket Man.

Rocket Man. I am become Rocket Man. Make Rocket Man. legal again. Well, this is gone, very. Actually, wait, we were talking about Elton John a while ago, weren't we? Yeah. Oh, we didn't go, let's circle back to that.

Sorry. I really took over the podcast completely. That's all right. No, no, I need to learn my lesson. What did you not like about Rocket Man? I just felt it was very standard biopic. It feels a bit flat. Okay.

Even the musical numbers, it does feel a little bit like, just like, you know, I don't say cheap, but just, it wasn't really taught out. that much you know like musical numbers I'm not very good at articulating myself James okay I just thought I was gay and stupid

he's fucking shy and you can jelly with a bloody puff there's no style to it you know like Elvis he's your rockin'nooster how come he's not getting fanny loads of fanny backstage he never went to space

yeah and he made he fucked up at one stage he was trying to have sex a woman and he accidentally had sex of a man instead I bet he feels like a right pick kept making that mistake over and over and over Yeah

Like it's just a very standard 5 out of 10 Yeah Yeah I thought it was better than Complete unknown Personally I thought that was Pretty like

Boringly standard Right Competently standard Yeah I think Elvis might be better than I remember Okay Elvis I thought was too much At the time

But after watching all these All kind of feel like The same you know Look at this You're never happy It's like Oh that's too much. That's not

enough, but this one was just dry. Fucking Goldilocks and the three biopics over here. You're fucking never satisfied, are you? But it's the same way, like Bohemia Raps as you, like, they all kind of feel like the same film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no kind of pizzazz to it.

Like, same way you're on about Elvis, okay? You got, like, Tom Hanks doing the weird voice, you got, like, fucking, the Starship Enterprise spin the round, you got you got a lot of nonsense, that it was least entertaining nonsense, all right? Okay. And I'd rather make a film that was, like, inspired by the music of Elton John, the actual Elton John movie.

Because, be honest, okay, he was gay, he took some drugs, he got a bit wet. He fell in the pool and got wet. Well, he tried to kill himself. No, he didn't. Oh, okay. He just fell in the pool. He fucking like, oh, I got wet in the pool. Oh, sure.

Wow, okay, yeah. Oh, boo-hoo, okay, yeah. And even the drugs he was taking, what? He drank, like, what, two Guinness and fucking... I had a paracetamol. Pretty sure he was on heroin, Brian. Cocaine, heroin, pills, you know. He had a pretty extensive drug habit.

But I will, yeah, there is a lot of stuff that they left out. Like, he's very known for his anger issues and his, like, he would attack people violently. Yeah, put that in the film. Yeah, but, you know, obviously, they're not going to get the rights to his music if they put that in the film. Even the gay stuff. There's barely any gay shit in it. Okay. Like, when you take a.

and John, you think lovely music and lovely gay sex, all right? And it's like one scene of him, like, just making love to a man, like, making love to a man, all right? That's it. I want to see just pure, fucking animalistic, just bending him over. Like, you know, the fucking Bohemia

rhaps is he, all right? Right. Freddy Mercury was gay. You was? He barely has sex in that film. He's like an asexual. It was a bit in that film, or I can remember correctly, there's a trucker going into the bathroom, and he's like, oh, time to go in and do something. And it's implied. We're in real life, okay.

Freddie Mercury, don't stop me now. Yeah. That was written about a time where he had, like, I think like 20 guys all bent over in a row

and he put his cock in each single one of them along the lines, yeah. Where was that in the film? What? Are they saying studios might not like that? I want to see full penetration.

I think it was implied when he got AIDS. Yeah, it doesn't matter how many songs you're right about it. the AIDS will stop you now I mean yeah I guess you know as open-minded as we are now sexually

there is maybe some audiences don't want to see full gay sex being played out on the screen you know not no I love it I love seeing a lad being bent over you know turned into a Swiss cheese actually I love it I listen to a podcast called the Important Cinema podcast

and they did an extra two a two-part episode about gay pornography, hardcore gay pornography in the 70s, 80s and 90s. It's not really a movie podcast, isn't it? It is. No, because you're one of those people. You know, you're fucking Mary White House. They're not actually movies. They are at cinema.

Oh, right. Just because it's a, what, just because it's a 90-minute gang bang. You think it's not as important as the godfather. Well, prove me wrong. Then what were they saying about all the gay porn? The light and, you know, cinematography, the editing.

None of it was very good, though, was it? Well, you know what? There is a movie, not a gay porn movie, but a porn movie, okay? And there's a shower sex scene in it, and it's edited by... I forgot. There you go.

Well, well, that showed me. Oh, defeated with logic. Oh, just got hitchlapped right there. Oh, don't I feel like a ruddy fool? I'm not very good at this. Orston Wells. it. What, really?

Orson Wells directed a porn sorry, edited a porn movie. When did it come out? Like the fucking 1930s?

No, no. It was like 70s. Oh, so. Near the end, yeah. So, why? He just,

for shits and he had a buddy that, like, worked for him and also edited porn films in the side. And he was just

busy one day. He was like, oh, I can't make it back. He just edited the gay, the porn shower scene.

Oh, yes. Reminds me of Citizen Kane back Rosebud, yes Well, there you go

Now a little bit of trivia for you there From Slay to Gay The Orson Wellstone Oh Slay, yeah, Rosebud, very good Annie voiced Unicron in the Transformers movie Well, that's, which one? The animated one, idiot Well, I'm sorry

I was more of a Go-Bots fan So, you know, sorry I'm just more Indian punk rock like that You go for the big, big budget shit that's cool if you want to be a square pedestrian but nah man I want to be a pedestal I was all I was go bots for life

you know go bots or go home that's what we used to say back in the playground oh change the topic again yeah I watched Wicked all right no it probably wasn't enough gay sex and that for you either was there

no there wasn't no I had Bowen Yang and it I got excited but no so wicked it's Wicked Part 1 it's like three hours That's crazy Not even the full story It's bad Yeah

Yeah like it looks terrible Okay Like it looks so amateurish It's like really flat There's no magic to it at all Yeah yeah yeah Like apart like all the colour is very muted And like the lighting is really bad

Like some parts in it I couldn't really make it to face Because it was like way too bright They do like back lit a lot You know Yeah yeah I describe But it's apparently it's done on purpose It wants it feel very like

kind of like real and not magical Oh. But that's, you know. So it's like, it's a movie adoption of a stage musical, right? Yeah, yeah. And, you know. Man, I didn't realize it's a Harry Potter rip off. Wicked.

What? Wicked's a Harry Potter rip off. I thought it was Wizard of Oz. No, it's Wizard of Oz, okay, but it's about the Wizards, you know, the Witch of the West and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go to school. They go to like, oh, wow.

They go to Snez University or Shiz University. Snaze University. All right. That's the parody I do, yeah. No, it's Shays. university and it's like different houses and there's like different teachers oh it's like Harry Potter yeah yeah it's like now you boy you girls and boys you know stay out you can't go to that part of the the school that's the scary part

to it all right yeah yeah yeah it's like um that one girl is green and in the film green is like their version of racism okay but like they've got like talking bears and goats and shit yeah so like I don't know why like that's normal then the green girl, they're like, stay away she's a criminal! Yeah, yeah. I don't feel safe, you know, and they're pointing at her. And that's she the main character then? She is, yeah, yeah.

And then it is also Ariana Grande. She plays like the Good Witch, I think. Or the fairy godmother? No, no, she's a schoolgirl. Oh, okay, right, right. And Boen Yang's little schoolboy. His little shorts, you know. And how are the musical numbers? Forget a boy, I'd say. I don't know the songs too much.

What's that one holding gravity Or something about gravity? Oh, that's the big finisher That's how it ends, yeah, yeah, yeah That's when she learns how to fly with her broom Did that to learn how to fly? No, she, don't, ah! You saw it.

I've been bamboozled by James, I've walked into your trap. No, so like, I was surprised by this how, I was thinking about Harry Potter, the first movie. Yeah. And it's like, I'm not going to say this, okay, I mean this, it's magical

in the sense that, like, if you're a kid watching it, It's like, da, the, the, sure, yeah, yeah,

and it's like, all this, like, you introduce the world slowly. Yeah. Or it's like, oh my God,

what's that? Oh, the stairs move and it feels very real, you know? Yeah, yeah, I think it helps that,

like, there's people in costumes and that, all right? Yes. In this, just like, here we are

in school, another year, and it's just like, in the background, it's like, oh, it's like a, is that like a phoenix

flying around, and oh, was a talking goat, all right, but it just doesn't feel, it's like, here we are, here's the school, that's it. And all the animals, like, multiple scenes where all these different animals are talking, jitter, okay? And just wanting me up the mere

ads, like, just like, right, right. It just felt kind of cheap and shit. Yeah, well, see, that's the thing. When it's all purely CGI, like, Harry Potter was, they had art departments and they built sets, and, you know, like, that really helps with immersing yourself in the world.

There's a real lack of effort in this. Yeah, yeah. it's kind of ironic because a theater production that requires a lot of fucking effort. I haven't seen it but I'm sure Wicked the stage show. There's a lot of fucking shit going on moving pieces. The songs, you know, are very big

songs. And then they make this thing that feels like like the cheap version of Harry Potter you see on like CBBs or something like that. You all feels like a lot. It feels like you know when Disney do a live action version of like an animated movie

and it feels really kind of weird and shit. Like snow white. Snow white, Little Mermaid, wherever okay. That's what it feels like but there's no

animated version in the first place you know so it's shy and I was surprised for how really bad it was. Three hours long.

Three hours, yeah. I will say the guys in it are all doing their best, you know, Ariana and all those, you know, they're, you know,

I think his name's Johnton Bailey he's like the heart trob in it, you know, they're all doing their bits. What's the name of the chick who's the...

Oh, I forget her name now. But, like, they're all doing her bits, and the bits are, like, you know, Ariya the Grande's got a little bit of, like, you know, comedic, you know, stuff. Like, she's not terrible. Like, the people are good, but it's very amateurish. Right. And it's a bit annoying because it's two parts.

I believe two parts been shot already. So they can't change anything. So we just have to sit through this. Just endure it. Yeah. Did it really need to be two parts, so couldn't they just the fucking... I don't think it did. Yeah.

It's, because there's, like, people who, like, if you cut out one song, I wouldn't kill myself. Yeah. Yeah, you have to do like this. I don't know why. I don't know much about Wicked, but it is like a very kind of like, people will die for it, you know? It's a very thing that like,

it's part of a passion, you know? Okay. A lot of emotion and people like, like, I literally, I, three hours, I was crying nonstop. Yeah. Literally the entire, I was, I was dehydrated at the end. But it was worth it. Yeah.

Because I loved it so much. I brought a colostomy bag because I didn't want to miss a single second. I was singing and shitting along to it. Yeah, Ariana Grande looks very sickly these days. I don't know what's going on with her. She does, yeah, she doesn't... There's something not right with her. She's got, like, I don't want to speculate,

but she's kind of got the Ozempic kind of look. Yeah, yeah. I think she also has been speculated. She has an eating disorder where, like, she's just, like, anorexic will not eat. The thing is, if you're anorexic already and you're not eating any food, and then you put a Zempick on top of that

you're just gonna look incredibly emaciated and doesn't help the fact that in this she is like lit very weirdly so you're very aware just how white she is I mean that like a pale I mean like unhealthy she looks in it yeah I would not recommend Wicked

I was never gonna watch it I'm interested how part two does because part one was this huge success irregardless how good it was you know it would like it did well the box office yeah yeah huge success yeah Fuck

Fucking shit Day one You win this round Wicked Yeah But then I'm like You know Actually the VOD sales

Were underperformed So there you go Yeah Did it do as good as Ricky Stinicky Don't think so pal I'm pretty sure it did Oh probably

Fuck Right well now I look like a fucking Ricky Snickie wasn't Released in cinemas Was it not It was direct Amazon Oh It's a shame

Isn't it Because you camped out in the cinema waiting for you were there for a month and I forgot my claustomy bag so I tell you that tent was pretty Ricky Stinicky by the end of it

P you just kicked and shit and jeez couldn't you have shit anywhere else I could have but I didn't want to risk it's John Sina and Andrew Santino you know what else

oh a big thing on the internet at the moment is the daily wire is kind of like hit a bit of snag Yeah So Daily Wire They had big plans for it The Daily Wire Studios They're making movies They're making a non-woke snow white

That was going to be with Brett Cooper Yeah then she left And she left So They get Candace Owens back to be snow white She won't come back She's doing great I will say Candace Owens

Here we go She's Here we go Come on She's beautiful She's a queen No, I'm just saying she's done a good job But like

I'm doing politics I'm also doing like Trashy stories about Blake lively Like celebrity gossip Yeah She's like branching out a bit You know She's on like Tio Vaughan and shit

She'll probably just like All these guys become normal She'll probably host S&L soon as well You know I can't wait To all these guys Yes, Candice I heard what you said about Israel

And I agree I'll tell you what Speaking of S&L real quick Morgan Wallin Yeah Have you heard this guy before? I'm pretty sure I heard the name but there's a lot of those

like new country stars that you kind of, you hear like Zach Bryan is another one you know. They're all kind of blend into one in my name. Yeah, yeah. They all look alike. Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I've got cancelled or saying that. There's the pretty boy ones and then there's like the jelly roll

Pugs Malone ones. Yeah, they're real ugly, they og it up a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking my og up myself a bit, you know? You egg? Yeah. Get a face tattoo, man. I think I will, yeah. Yeah, what'll you get? Just a Dalek On fire Yeah

Yeah On a skateboard Yeah So Morgan Wallin He's been a bad boy Okay I didn't know anything about him So

He is a singer Right Songwriter Country music Big big star Right One of those guys Like he was big

In the country world For fucking years And now he's branching Out to the main street He's crossed over Now he was meant to be On SNL about two years ago

Okay But this was back during the COVID protocols. So he didn't want to get a vaccine? No, no, no. Worse. He got filmed in a big pub, a big bar, okay, but loads of people. They're all sweating on each other and all that,

and they're all breaking the COVID rules. Okay. So we're like, oh, we can't. Right, okay, right. And he's like, oh, okay, understand. And then he got drunk, a party, and he said the N-word on video. Oh.

And he got way more popular after that. What was the context? He was like So he was drunk in On the street I think outside his house Okay And they were like coming to the house

Like you pussy ass Beep That's just a bit of fun Good I'm glad you said it Yeah yeah I'm standing It's not like he's Mark Furman

You know It's like You could do whatever you want Beak the shit out of him First First six or seven words Out of their mouth Is a fucking lie

I'm surprised Mark Furman Has done the country music album Yeah Well I'm another shot of whiskey Everybody in the bar again frisky. Yeah, that's Shaboosy.

Nice, nice reference, bro. So, is that, who is Shabuzi? Is that him? He's the guy who sings that song. Why didn't know that? Yeah, yeah. Pour me another shot of whiskey.

Everybody in the bar get a dipsy. Yeah, yeah. So he, and then he got drunk in another bar and he threw a chair at a guy. So he's a rebel. Somebody take this

boop chair away from the called a chair the end word. Yeah, he, he, he, he, was a chair of a black guy calls me Edward and you're like, there's no harm in that. What was the contest? Yeah. Sorry, just because you don't want to get

vaccinated, he's a villain now. So, Denny was on S&L last week, all right? With Mikey Madison? Mikey Madders, yeah. We watched some of the sketches. Not good. I thought that was bad. And then we watched Dane Cook on S&L. We'll get to that a minute. Don't let me forget

Dane Cook on SNL. How got I? But it's Morgan Wallin, And apparently he was a little bit difficult on the show. He didn't want to do any sketches or anything. Yeah. And he didn't really want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to be around those neoliberal communist, Marxist, scum fox. You know?

Yes. Yeah, yeah. In his words. I might disagree with you, James. I'm still thinking I can get in SNL. I don't think that. I'm like, no, I think Bowen's great, James. I think he's not Asian enough, if you ask me.

Okay. but he then at the end he walked off the show I saw that but man it was such a fucking like I heard walked off the show

I thought he meant like after a song or during a song it was like at the end credits were rolling yeah but you're meant to stand there

and wave like a fucking like you're a hostage fucking gobshite yeah yeah yeah but not like he walked off like yeah and it did then there was like

what do you call him like fucking body language experts and lip-braider's like, oh, what did Kenan say when he saw that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, they're fucking analyzing it

like it's the Zapruder film, you know? But like I said, after that, we watched Dane Cook on S&L. Hang on, why did he walk off? Has anyone been able to... It doesn't like it. Okay. He likes the fame of it.

See, he's pretty cool to me. He was on, when he listened to him on Tio Vaughn, he seems pretty chill. Yeah? Pretty, it doesn't seem that stuck up. I love him. There you go. Yeah.

There you go. I'm going to start living like him, you know. Every piece of furniture I see, I'm going to throw it and call it the Edward. I'm a Morgan head now. So we went down a bit of a Dane Cook, Rabbit Hall. Yeah. Well, you told me

you recently listened to his double album. I listened to a bit, I'd be honest you, I didn't finish it, right? You listen to it twice. You listen to it forwards and backwards to get the subliminal messages, you know? Yeah. Louis C.K. is lying. those were my jokes So I listened to a bit of it

Alright Yeah Because I never really sat down And listened to a proper Dane Cook special I want to get a T-Rick Because he was so big Yeah

Like Dane Cook was selling out stadiums He was massive He was a cultural kind of an event All right He was a phenomenon Yeah yeah He was like

Like he does double album And it goes like platinum Yeah Right straight away Madison Square Garden Yeah Fucking fucking huge So I listened to

Some of his stuff And I was surprised by just how much much uh it's just sound effects there's a lot of that i love him repeating the joke over and over again yeah and a lot of just like i'm going to do this and it's going to get funny eventually he's very much a performer yes not a joke writer yeah yeah yeah it's very much like car alarms like this and he just does a car alarm noise while kind of jumping around the stage for like 30 seconds yeah yeah yeah and people we'll say people are going insane people like yeah like yeah like

men are squirting during this. That's how good it is. Like women are coming out their cocks. Men are squirting. Children are shitting themselves. Muslims are converting to Judaism. Like they are going insane. They're eating pork ribs.

They're just got everybody's gone crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't do much. I guess again it's just like, you know, people, you know, women, okay, when they're arguing, they go like this and he moves his hand. And they're like, yes. He's very physical. A lot of like, sound effects

and like like facial expressions very over the top over animated and then for a while he was in movies and that and just the S&L okay so he hosted S&L

we watched two sketches as interesting is maybe it's an ego thing wherever but both sketches Dane Cook is the lead where he's not just like the lead but he's like lead and it's basically like one hander

like he's like I am going to do this thing you guys step back hey guys you get a break this week. Keenan, take it easy, okay? Dane Cook is here. Yeah.

So the first sketch we watched is Dane Cook at a party. And he comes in wearing a sweater. It's a turtleneck. Sorry, a turtleneck sweater, right? And he's hot. It's a hot environment. Why are you talking about how sexy he is?

No. I got you there, pal. He's too warm. Ah, there you go. Dodged the bullet there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nearly became gay there. so he's too warm

because of his turtleneck and he wants to take it off he wants to wait till the girl gets there so she can see his nice turtleneck but it's not a nice turtleneck it's a very ostentatious very big turtleneck

comedically big almost yeah well you would think that except for the fact that it's not funny yeah and then the whole thing is he's just like he's just very warm that's it and he's like ah

he's like and he's flopping around yeah he's like I'm so I'm not you know he's putting ice cubes down in yeah yeah yeah and it is a real bomb shite nobody's laughing and like he's going crazy and he think he's going full jim carey yeah it's interesting seeing someone not achieving it you know it's like if will farrell was doing this he'd get it over jim carey get over you know a bill hater would do it you know it's like watching an athlete just like fail yeah it's kind of i i don't this is a criticist

that people levied against Dan Cook from the very beginning but it's kind of something that became pretty evident to everyone eventually like I think because he was a young good looking guy a lot of women liked them

so they went and they paid for tickets and they laughed but he hasn't got any jokes or any bits he's just being very like over the top and he's getting by on charm but he doesn't have a lot of charm sorry I'm getting more and more hoarse as I talk you're getting emotional

yeah that's right Well, like, there's one bit I heard, I'm just like, you know, oh, you know the way there's noises? Does noises drive you crazy, you know, like someone chewing gum? It wants me, I just want to punch a baby. I just want to punch a baby. I want to punch a baby. That's right.

Wea! Poo! We're punching a baby. We're just over and over again. And that's, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you need to do, man. So Dayton's crazy. That's it, just move on something else then.

Anyway, here, dogs or cats, you know, dogs, Roof, Roof, Roof, Miao, Ruff, Roof, Mew, that's it. They've got their own language. What are the dog, like, Ruff, Ruff, Miao, Ruff, Miao. Ruff, Miao. Don't worry, I'm getting, there's something. Ruff, Ruff, Mew, Ruff, Mew. But where you're listening to it, and it's like an endurance thing,

is like, he has, this last one. Come on, this must be the last one. Man, they probably play that in Guantanamo Bay, do you know what I? like it's genuinely like I was driving and I was like I might crash the car changing this and it'd be worth it you know it's crashed the school bus and it'd be worth it they'll understand completely fucking hell but now you're just in a coma yeah it's like well but you can't you can hear everything yeah they find that you were listening to the dan cook so it's like your parents like well play day and cook's records to help him come out

of his coma it's why he would have wanted some of the bits I didn't you understand You know, it's this big set-up It's like, you know, like You know, you got those big car parks You know, this big kind of multi-story And you go there, okay, and you're driving up And don't know what they put on the ground I don't know if it's like

tarmac or concrete But it was like, you know Buhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb You know what I mean, you know You're like They're putting on the ground Be like, this better make Bbbbbbbbbbb the noise

It doesn't really make that noise, is it? No, I actually think that It's very, you know, I can relate to that. Only a straight man will get that kind of joke. You're in there, it's not bumpy enough for me. I'm there, I've got my fucking butt plug in. Oh, no. I'm just going up and down the car park.

Oh, no. Oh, heaven's to Betsy. I don't even, like, there are, yeah, they put, like, it's like mini speed wraps. You've undermined me there. Sorry. Oh, great. Why are you going to marry Dane Cook there? I don't think I have his doubt

because I'm not a child. Yeah, that's right. Isaac Cappi was right. But yeah, no, like, Dan Cook. Yeah, so he watched that and then for the crack we put on his new special. Dane Cook's got a new special called Above It All. And I was shocked.

Straight away, it's a bad choice. It's filmed in his house. Outside his house, actually. Outside his house, all right? He's got this massive house. Yeah. All right. Like bigger than Wayne Manor.

Okay, it's massive way. Pool, it's over L.A. It's like on top of the Hollywood Hills. Like, it's overlooking, like, Hollywood. And, yeah. I don't think it's very endearing to do a comedy special. And it starts off with like, yeah, this is my house. Yeah.

Pretty big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 33 million. Yeah. Who's that old creepy loser now? Huh?

Yeah. My girlfriend's too young. Well, I like. go, a big house. Yeah. There you go, yeah. I beat you with logic. Yeah. When I made good luck Chuck, she wasn't even born. And you're trying to tell me I'm a loser? Yeah, yeah.

So it comes out, right, and there's all these people who are outside this house. And I assume they're like friends of family or people who like, um, are massive fans. Like people who are like on danecoccom or something. I doubt like the general public got these tickets. No, no. There must be some way like, he's not going to any old freak into here, okay? I think, like, on his website, most comedians, they have mail lists. That's it, yeah, yeah.

So these are fans, all right. Point is, these guys are ready to laugh. Dane Cook comes out, does, like, some crowd work straight away. Yeah. Which is just like, you know, hey, you guys, what story? You guys, you meet online? Yes. Oh, okay, yeah.

And you guys, how long you've been together? You know, guy says, you know, four months, girls, says a year. Yeah. Oh, different times. do you guys argue much yeah you do yeah it's crazy and then there's a hard cut so it's like oh what you know and it's the next thing's like so yeah I was stalked I had a stalker

and this goes on to the Edinburgh Fringe style of show very serious the baby reindeer type show literally which is not as good as baby reindeer no it's kind of like basically but like he's getting stalked all right so he should be the hero of the people or at least you should feel sympathy for him right yes she's the villain okay but he comes off unlikable even than that well you have to even it's such a weird framing like you know decision to have like i'm the victim i was stalked but i'm gonna film it in my giant

l a mansion yeah it's like straight away it's hard to empathize with you if we were in a small comedy club yeah you could you know but even then he's like the stories like She's sending them lots of direct messages. She also explains what DMs are. Yeah. Like DMs, you know, direct messages. You can send someone online, you know, like a message. It's kind of like a text, but it's someone, you know.

It's like a text on an email. Got together and fuck. Not even that. That's funny, all right? Just like a letter, but it's digital. Yeah. All right. Anyway.

Big house, isn't it? Anyway. Well, he's just like, yeah, she's sending me these messages. She's crying and all that. Oh, what a freak. And then she has a video of her shaving her eyebrows. I'm like, you shave your eyebrows, you're mentally ill, you're a freak. I might shoot you.

Yeah, and he keeps calling her ugly as well. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, also, the whole thing of the story that we watched, right, is like, she's sending them messages and then she comes to his house. Yes. She's outside. She's on his property. And he's like ignoring her for like three days.

Yeah. And then he calls his cop friend, not the cops. Just like friend. Yeah, and the cops like, Oh, she shaved her eyebrows. She's crazy. Yeah, dude, I know that. Get a gun.

What? Yeah. Whoa, me with a gun? What? What kind of crazy shenanigans could that lead to? Hey, I'm used to killing, but not like that. It's just terrible. And by the way, what we described to you, that was about 16 minutes.

Yeah, yeah. It was a very, very short condensed version of the long story. It feels very stretched out. painful, and there's no laughs. There's no laugh. He's bombing in his own house. Very few attempts at laughter. And the few attempts he makes, it's almost like he's like,

oh, I won't do that again. Yeah. Oh, God, I try the joke there. Jeez, I won't do that again. It was, yeah, it's actually insane. Yeah. I don't know how people aren't talking about it. It came out like four months ago.

Yeah, it's crazy. But like... I can't even talk. I'm choking on my outrage. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. I'm actually going to watch the rest of it because I just course you are

I'm watching it ironically but I'm like no look out dude look on you're like I better go at Dane Cook's house and protect him

from any weirdos that might show up Hey you gotta put up with me huh Dane if you ever want to take a shower I'll be with you just in case any freak wants to come near you

that's funny he invites the mental or into the gap to protect him from me is like hey bitch, shave your eyebrows and go spit on Cadden's tiny

penis. I don't know why that's the mode of defense, but I have a virus setting in and causing delirium, so I'm not making a lot of sense here. Let's just start one. I'm going to start one more time. Okay.

But yeah, so like, I, like, when Dean Cook was at his peak, you know, I completely ignored him. I was like, this isn't for me. He's young, good, looking women like them I'm not gonna like it I was always more of a

Louis CK fan I'm sorry I was I just you know explains a lot Yeah it does Why I'm funny Yeah well Yeah yeah yeah

Well okay I should touch the nerve there Yeah well well Dean Cook was The very first like internet comedians Yes So he was like blew up on MySpace MySpace And he'd like you know

Have his like you know What was in MySpace Like your top friends Yeah like your top five friends. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Well, like, yeah.

So he would just like... And people die for that to become a top five friends. Yeah. Yeah. And kill for it. But some women wouldn't recognize the romance in there. Yeah. So he like would set up mailing lists and like, that's how he became so big.

It was initially on college campuses. So that's, he got like teenage 19 year old girls were his fans. And then that branched out. And then it's like, if girls like something, guys who are trying to bang girls will pretend to like it. You know what I mean? It's kind of the opposite with most comedians, like weird, smelly guys like the comedian, and they dragged

their beguiled girlfriend to it. They dragged a girlfriend. You're going to love Louis J. Gomez. She's great. I'm scared. When Big Jay O'Kerson asks you about your stanky vaj, you just laugh along. Go to embarrass me. Now, did you bring my fingerless

gloves, like I asked? Where's my wallet chain, you stupid bitch? I'm going to look at fucking idiot. If he asked you if you ever banged a black guy, you better say yes. Otherwise, you ruin the bit, okay? You ruin the momentum of it.

But it also better be a lie because if you really have, then we're going to have problems. His name was David Lucas. No. You won't need fingerless gloves because I'll chop your fingers off, you bitch.

Really paints a picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why I love Louis, okay. Well, look, he's a, You know, he's a bad man, or whatever. He is also the best comedian that ever did it. I think so, yeah. What do you want?

He literally is. Put his work against anyone else's. You think he's better than Josh Whitacom? I mean, hey, it's close. Look, I don't want to be. I got to walk around the streets safely, but yeah, I think I'm going to say it. I think Louis C.K. is better than Josh Whitaker and John Richardson. So, yeah.

But anyway So Dane Cook All right Now I want to talk About his movies next Yeah So I've only seen One Dane Cook movie

I've seen good luck Chuck And I've seen Employee of the Month So we're kind of like With the wonderful Dack Shepard Was it very I hate him

Why? Oh my God That fucking alcoholic Wasteoid Get back in the bottle And kill yourself The only The only sober

Recovering alcoholic In Hollywood Yeah You got him there. He's a bad influence, that kid. Get him off the screen. I love him. I think he's great.

I think he's literally useless. Why? I think he's the worst person ever. I think he is talented and charming and funny. I do jail time, all right? For a while. I fucking, you know, I can't say it. But I would.

Yeah, I'd be smiling in court as well. That's for chips. I love chips. I thought it was fantastic. It was an insult to the legacy of the show. Yeah? Who was in the original chips? Some guy, you're not dachster.

Eric Estrada. Yeah, right, pal. What you know about chips, motherfucker? Only chips you know is fishing chips. You fat, motherfucker. With your stanky ass. Whatever way. So, yeah, you've seen good luck, Chuck.

Tell me about good luck. Good luck Chuck is insanely unpleasant. Yes. If I was his agent, I'd be like, you cannot do this. This is going to destroy you, okay? Same way that I listened to an interview with DJ Qualls. Oh yeah. Right?

And there was some scene he was going to do, like some like real disgusting thing, like pooping or something like that. Right. I think maybe like someone poops in his face, something like that. Okay. And his agent was like, look, you can get away with some stuff, right? But you're not famous enough. to have poop on your face. Right.

Because then you become a poop face guy. That's what you're known for. Yeah, it's like, disdiscusting, you can't do that. Like, Jason Biggs is the pie fucker for life. Exactly. You know? I love Jason Biggs. And I won't hear a fucking bad word said against them.

I can't say anything. Yeah, well, because you know not. Well trained. Dachshepard's one thing, but Jason Biggs. Jack Shepherd, if he fucked the pie, that film would have flopped. Yeah? Yeah, he doesn't have the same pizzage.

I guess. Well, all right. right, we'll agree on that. You've ever see Dach Shepard and Conan? No. That drunk fucking oaf. Disrespecting Andy Richter. If you're doing fucking Conan,

you prepare, okay? You don't show up slur in your words like a fucking dope. Oh, was he? Man, he couldn't talk. Okay. Yeah. You know how hard he made life for Conan.

Conan? Yeah. The writer of such great, the monorail episode. I'm a big fan of Conan. And then Dax just pisses on him. Yeah, yeah. because he's pog rock dude

Andy Richter's there okay fuck it doesn't know what to do because of this fucking wild man Jack Shepard and his wife probably beats her somebody needs to put a bit of manners on her I'll tell you that no I was yapping about her depression

or whatever the fuck oh like we need to hear that Veronica Mars I'll fucking send you to Mars look straight to the moon pow right in the kisser anyway good luck sure There's a lot of violence as women is.

I'm very sorry. I love all. To all my proud black sisters out there. I stand with it. Anyway. Well, I'll tell you. Good luck, Chuck. This, I don't think anyone could do this and not come off as unlikable.

Yeah. Right? So the premise is there's a little boy playing spin the bottle with his friends. Yes. Okay, not on his own. That'd be sad, all right? Maybe he just wanted to practice for what they're real. thing happened but it never did

me and you should play spin the bottle sometimes that'd be funny I try to play spin the bottle but now I'm just looking for the bottom of the bottle glug glug glug makes the pain go away maybe I'll make jokes about beating women

to fill the void but it never works but I have my old buddy Dax Shepherd to cheer me up but then beasts like you come out and besmirch the man All right, sorry Good luck, Chuck

There's a darkness to you Yeah, yeah, yeah This is like your one-man play Yeah, but anyway So, he's a little boy Playing Spin the Bottle Yeah And he, him and his Gott girl

All right Who is, how old do you think James? 11 12, 13 at most Let's say 13 A child Yeah, she's a child All right

So weird as well They go into the cupboard The Kiss Because that's the rules spin the bottom. What do they call it? Seven minutes in heaven? Yeah, yeah. And then she like takes off her shirt so she's just in a bra. She's wearing like a leather bra.

Yeah. And then, and people say Hollywood's full of pedos. Yeah. And she like rips his shirt over. She rips the little boy's shirt off. It starts twisting his nipples. Scratching him and kissing him. It's like, what the fuck? She's like, I want to pleasure you.

Yeah. And I'm like color me intrigued. This is good. Even Larry Clark could be like just weird yeah yeah Jesus it was I don't like this the fact that it's you know meant to be just like wacky comedy yeah it's creepy so he's like stay away from me and she's like oh you don't want to kiss me well I put a hex on you right and the hex is any woman that dates you will always leave you but then find the right guy afterwards yeah never come back to you right and that's the premise so we cut to you you know

20 years later. Yeah. Dane Cook is the hottest, sexiest man in the world in this film. And he can have any woman he wants. Yes. Okay. So already you're like relatable. I love this guy.

It's like I'm watching myself. I'm rooting for this guy. Okay. I want to know what happens. Yeah. And he finds out, like I said, that any woman he has sex with is going to get, like, meet the Mr. Wright the next day. And get married. And get married and be happily ever after.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's like a running joke. He's like, it's not true, all right? It's just a take a coincidence. But then one girl tells another girl, and then every woman in New York is like, I have to have sex with this guy. Yes. So the comedy is like, he has sex with all these women. That's hilarious.

Yeah. Classic comedy. That's more than you need to say, right? And then we have a really likable character who's kind of like Horatio Sands, but like even funnier if you can imagine it right so white horatious yeah and he is uh dane cook's friend yeah he's his big fat guy it's uh dan fogler is a fogler yeah yeah yeah he show you some clips of this guy why you think he's kind of like cool isn't he he says some of the most disgusting things i've ever heard this is james thing yeah yeah james like the stuff he says a little bit problematic

oh my word a little bit sexist yeah like he's going around he's by the way he's by the way he's like a breast like a plastic surgeon specialised in breasts yeah yeah yeah so you think he'd be a little bit

desensitised to breasts okay but he's like oh I just love tits I love muff and minge

I don't care what age they are I just want to fucking squirt my fucking love spunk he talks like that it literally does

yeah I want to squirt my spunk glove into her cunt fucking cunt flap yeah

whole and it's like that is a direct life from the movie oh you You're such a rascal. I don't care if she's fucking asleep.

I don't want to fucking. I'll go into a primary school. I'm going to spunk my love junk, spunk come. He's got Tourette's basically, yeah. It's just like a sex pest. And he's going around to, like, they're at a wedding. He's going around with like, yeah, I want to give me your fucking tits. I'm going to grab him.

You're like, hey you. And they all love him. He's charming. Hey, you're pushing your luck, mister. Buy a girl. dinner first I'm gonna kill you he says shit

like I want to suck in one of her farts like it's a bong hit just yeah and like a Dane cook bit he's like yeah I just want to

fucking inhale her fart yeah I just want to turn her into a flesh flesh like

fuck sleeve for my com stick man he says that yeah I want to skin a woman a lot and wear his skin.

Yeah. I know. I want to like find where her kids go to school and wear her mother's skin on my face while I raped

them to death. That's how horny I am. That's how much I love to pussy. But then, okay, he's like, and who else? I just love fucking fruit

and vegetables. Yes. He just like, gets like a melon just starts fucking a melon in front of like Dane Coke. He's sticking his dick in a melon

and shoving like a butt plug up his ass just like in the middle of the day at the middle of a funeral it's right outside they're out wedding anyone else speak now

if ever hold your tongue you start fucking a warm element this doesn't represent Palestine but uh yeah these are just from the little clips Brian showed me the best bits I may show you the full film next week

I think I'm going to download the director's cut oh I have to do you actually DVD, yeah. Uncensored version. Unrated. Unrated, that's it, yeah. Two punk rock for TV. Man, I'll bring it up, yeah. I better

still be there. We have no way of watching DVDs anymore. I'll buy a DVD player. It's worth it. It's an investment. You know I go back home and my mother's like, oh, all those DVDs you had, you don't have a DVD player. I gave him to the charity shop. You didn't walk. You're fucking caught.

Murder suicide. Did he do it for the land. Oh, good luck Chuck, DVD. That makes sense. Understandable. Yeah. Any man to be driven to a brink. That's like the

anti-adolescence, you know, the guy who kills his mother because of a good luck Chuck. Everyone's like, it needs to be shown in schools. Dan Fogler does a tour of schools. But just to interrupt there for a minute, because this is important, right?

So he's just having sex With loads of women And there's a whole montage of him I'm sex of women It's like you know It's comedic Because a lot of them don't really want They have sex with them

They're only doing it So they can find their true love So it's like lesbians And also obviously lesbian in this Is like you know The most disgusting Like butch you know Yeah

Fireman looking lesbian You know Yeah Because it's comedic All right Sure But then he meets Jessica Alba Ah

Parity wherever that And he's like He's in love with Jessica Alba smitten. But he's afraid because the curse if he has sex with Jessica Alba

she's going to leave him from Mr. Wright. Yeah. So he's like how do I break this curse? Does it work with just

vaginal sex though? What if he just pumps her up the ass? They don't go into that yeah, yeah. But you want to have

vaginal sex as well you know for a healthy for a healthy relationship you know? Nah. I like just

I just like jerking off at them you know yeah. I do a kind of like you know I have a fake like prison things up it's like a glass mirror you know i like to jerk off in a cup and throw it

on them that's my thing you know call me weird no kink shaming here i feel like something i'll have to fend all this you know you know it's it's satirical he didn't mean it yeah yeah he did but he got caught throwing all the coma that girl in the park yeah it was satirical the girl didn't get the reference yeah it was a good luck job reference this will help you find mr wright Thank me later. You better invite me to your wedding. Oh, fuck. So the joke then, okay, is he has to break the curse, Dane Cook by having sex with the most ugly, disgusting woman possible.

So it's this large fat woman. She's very fat. She is, to be honest. She's like, you know, oh, where's my chicken? I want my bucket of chicken. Oh, I shit in the bucket, but you're still chicken in the bucket. I'll just eat around the shit.

Oh, yeah. Blah, you know. Oh, I want, I'm big and I'm beautiful. You know? And, you know, Dane Cook's like, I want to have sex with you. Yeah, well, you better pay me a thousand dollars. Yeah. To even have dinner with this whole tongue, you know.

Yeah. And then they have, they're having dinner right. Right. And he has to drink loads. Yes, yes. And then he's like, you know, let's have sex. I'm going to ride. I'm going to ride you.

I'm going to, no, she's like, I'm going to fuck you till you die. Yeah. And she's like. It's not charming when she, like when I say it, it's lovable and charming. And she's literally covered in barnacles. Yes. It's not a joke. She's covered in barnacles like a whale.

Yeah. And she has sex with him. And I think that breaks the curse. So then he's able to have kind of like Job in a way, you know, he suffers. Right. But then at the end. he's rewarded. Okay.

Not like Job. No, Job got fucked over big time. Yeah, yeah, no. Not good luck Chuck. No. Good luck Job. No. So he has sex with the ugliest woman in the world,

and he's rewarded then by marrying Jessica Alba. Okay. There's something there. The end? And also, you know, the Dan Fogler character? Yeah. He continues not just to harass random women, but I mentioned he is a plastic surgeon.

Yeah. He constantly harasses the women conscious and non-conscious and he's just like yeah I can make your tits bigger and you know basically like he's vermin you know he's like attacking women

he's biting them you know he's a medical professional oh you're right sorry he went to college and studied this who am I to question his methods he's like house he's like doctor how he's a lupus he give me your tits

oh you're gonna need a walk stick by the time I'm done with your love oh it's very problematic it's the movie That's right The movie Warped my brain Yeah

Yeah yeah It made me laugh Of what James says Normally I wouldn't be like Oh fuck We're well over the hour Are we Yeah like an hour

15 Are we serious Oh my God You're fucking Giving you this for free Yeah Yeah I was going to talk

With Doctor Who Well And that's it Really Maybe next week I'm just going to talk About all my theories I do some leaks

As well The spoilers Oh my God There's a room I might say this go for it the Rani I don't know what that

they're bringing back the Rani The I Rani No No the Rani She's from the 80s Okay And she's the Rani And she's like

She's an evil time lord Like the master Okay And she might be working for Omega And she might have bio-regenerated I don't know what any of this is Brian

I'm Now acutely aware of how sick I am. This is me in the police station. I'm like, it's the Rani. I've been framed. Where do you put the knife, Brian? I bi-regenerated. I don't want to hear about your bisexual escapades.

Just tell us where the murder weapon is. Anyway, look, you are a trooper man. Because you are sick. Yeah, I'm actually very sick. You're getting worse and worse. I'm getting worse and worse. You know what, James? Let's do another episode.

I'm sounded like Easy Yee at the end. Don't worry about me, dog. I'm going to be fine. It's AIDS. I ain't no Ranny. I'm not, what, I'm bi-generate. It sucks here, you bi-generate. I ain't no dead, Fogler.

Anyway, look, end it there. Let's give James peace. All right, goodbye.