Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 25 : Back from America

Episode Date: September 1, 2019

Brian did some bad shit in America.

we don't do introductions anymore no we don't well actually do you have introductions well my friend you know the guy is passed out downstairs

yeah he's a musician he's like written us some ideas for theme songs well that's good like intro music so the guy

who's meant to do the intros is passed out downstairs well I say passed out he's asleep have you ever seen SNL I'm familiar with it yes with Lauren Michaels

allowed a musical actors been passed out in studio stage yeah probably didn't they all do like lots of drugs and they did yeah but lord michael's ran a tight ship lord michael's did more drugs well the reason he's asleep is because he was working on the night shift oh okay yeah yeah yeah what's he

work out he actually works in like can we say it's like uh can we docks him i don't know where it is or what it's called but he uh well it's like a kind of like place for like uh homeless people with drug problems to sleep more it's like a hostel for junkies oh it's like a halfway house yeah yeah yeah so he's seen some pretty crazy things i know a few comedians i know have done that really helped out like oh well well actually yeah we yeah it have as well but uh both sides

the kind yeah yeah i'd say that'd be good to be doing a bit volunteering he doesn't volunteer they pay him like oh yeah it's his job you know all right yeah yeah yeah well then uh If he was volunteering, I'd be impressed. You were a volunteer for anything? No, no, not at all. Because you don't want to volunteer and then show up and you're more of a hindrance than the people you're helping, you know what I mean?

Like, you get in the way, it's like, if you're volunteering, you should be worth something, I feel. Well, it depends on what you're volunteering. I suppose it is. Yeah, you can't just make that excuse for everything. Ah, but working for me so far. There's a woman on the street asking for money. I'd probably mess it up.

Ah, you don't want my money. This money's no good. I'd probably drop it either. What about you? Have you ever volunteered? I meant to do. Like, I rang a soup kitchen Dundalk three times. And arranged to meet with them.

And then I just forgot. You forgot or they forgot? No, they didn't forget. Oh, okay. They were bringing me back. We're here. We have the soup. All we need is you.

Well, the soup thing, that's one, like, I don't know. I have to do it this year. I feel like that'd be good. Do you think? Although, I feel like the homeless people in Dundalk wouldn't, now how do you phrase it? It wouldn't be as much interest

as the ones in Dublin. Well, just because you get a wider variety. That's true. The Dundalk ones, you're like, come on to town, like, yeah, I get you. Here's your soup. Like, you get bored of them fairly quick. Which, of course, is the only reason

to volunteer for the soup kitchen for entertainment. oh well yeah for everyone working in soup kitchens or volunteering at all is like some kind of writer they're working on a novel of some kind yeah and they're looking at the human condition and really not paying attention to their needs no not at all it's like just tell them this like to tell the writer just kind of really hard story about how like they lost the kids and their life went um the life went to shit yeah and then they've gone to gambling and some big guy broke their legs and they're like great great tell me more i want to here yeah can I have the soup please in a minute come on now get the soup when I win my Pulitzer

in the famine remember that yeah in the famine wasn't there like you accept the soup but then they turn into a Protestant

yeah more or less if like if you took the soup that was basically you like going down on the queen licking her right well like do that yeah of course

soup that's disgusting that was even a phrase wasn't it you've taken the soup to mean that you've sold out and there's still people losers I think who are still like hanging on to that and then they'll hear like someone's name yeah and they're like oh that's a soup taker name

and they're like okay it's not much an insult yeah no it's really not you just did the logical thing and didn't die that's what the soup taker means why would you like an idiot hang on to your Cotolo's your idea

that's how they ended up homeless in the first place brian they had integrity and they stuck to their guns and something and what do you know you lost the house but it's not like um you've got to accept allah or something like that it's not a complete change it's like catholic the protestant so you just got to accept like virgin mary what was it again she's just not she wasn't a virgin there are just very slight differences just so slight that i don't know why Just got to be like, hey, maybe Martin Luther at a point with his, like... I have a dream speech?

No, Martin Luther, not Martin Luther. Oh, who's Martin Luther? He was some fella. Is he like the head Protestant? Yeah. You see, that's how little I don't know. He started the whole thing, yeah. Where he like had a few problems with the whole Pope and all that.

And then he wrote like these decrees in the wall. I think it was in 1999. Okay. It was 99 decrees. He put him up on the wall and that was kind of like the equivalent. of ten commandments no it's like more the equivalent like if i put up something really on big on facebook it was like you know like if someone puts a thing on rent a comic and like really like you know i fucking hate this guy it's kind of like that where like he put up a thing like i fucking hate

the pope and here's like my 99 problems yeah with the pope with catalyism in general and he was like protesting that's what started uh protestism so it's just agree with him a little bit you get some soup or you hang on to your dumb beliefs and you die and you die into eternal bliss or so you think but uh yeah no i didn't know that i know very little about um and i'm sure why i said was probably mostly wrong well i don't know enough to dispute you so uh let's go with that yeah why are we talking with this oh so you want to volunteer yeah yeah but you don't want to do it in the dock because those hobos are boring well it's boring hobos it's also a smaller pool yeah Yeah, yeah.

Like, it's just that you'll meet the same characters every night. It's like, cheers. It's like, you know, you just see the same few guys. Where in Dublin, you know, you'll meet, like, crazy people. Yeah, yeah. You'll meet some really fucked up people in Dublin. But there's a great conspiracy theory that says that John F. Kennedy, Jr., fake is death. I have heard that because it was a plane crash or is playing?

A plane, crash, wink, wink. Went missing? Yeah, went missing. There's no, like. Yeah, yeah. So people say that he faked his death and he's going to come back and, like, you know, kill Hillary or something. I don't know. He's got plans.

He's got plans. They're mad into the Kennedys as well over in America. Yeah, you were set. Well, you were in, like, Boston. I'm in Kennedy Center. Yeah, yeah. We're like, you get an Uber and you mentioned Kennedy at all. And it's like, oh, oh, my God.

It's like, that's their Diana. Okay. You know, in the UK, they, like, fetishize Diana. Diana, yeah, yeah. Oh, if one of Diana was here, my, you know, my life wouldn't be shit. you know like that and it's like it's the blacks uh are ruining everything and only diana is the only one who could have saved us from dangerous elba you know trying to steal james bond away from us okay okay but like what was i talking about kenties okay but you like over there you mentioned like oh

chappabotic didn't something involving ted kennedy happened there and they're like oh ted's a great man my grandfather was sick once and he he called ted kentie and ted gave him some flowers and you're like oh okay but like he still killed that girl yeah yeah but they don't like talk about that no but chepawadic was really close to where i was staying is that how it's pronounced chappaquatic i don't know it is it's a it's a mental word though like i mean it's a silly word for a tragic tragic accident i shouldn't know how it pronounced i watched a film chapiquitic i think it's chappaquittic it might be chappaquin but i could be wrong as well i don't know but yeah i was over there and i wanted to get more into the kensies because i know the basic

stuff you know yeah yeah they were two banging marlin monroe so it's like the dad war hero rich guy he's got like he's got like he's got ted he had mob connections though didn't they their dad to make it same with trump to make it in the city yeah yeah or make it anywhere in america that would be hooked up it's not even hooked up you gotta like work with the mob yeah start or you end up not working with them off you don't want that so like yeah you got you got to you got a few babies that's okay oh yeah grease those babies pause yeah yeah yeah we'll talk with epstein later get the pito jar ready kids but like um so yeah chapawatic so i was over there i wanted to get more into it yeah so i know about uh you know jack bang yeah bobby bang

and then the son die and I think the sister got to the bottom eyes or something like that because she was being yappy you know I was probably back then she wanted to do a one woman play

and like we can't have that but back then you'd bottomize a woman for anything it really was so bad back then like a woman like in any kind of sense of like maybe we maybe don't rape me tonight

it's like ah this broad's crazy get over here come on yeah I want to divorce and then, like, doctor! Oh, Jesus. But I was wanting it more. I know Chappawatic, as in, like, listeners might not know, but, like, so Ted Kennedy was

drunk driving, drove into a river. But he had a girl with him in the car. The secretary was in the car. Some woman who was working with him for his campaign team, he left her in the car, walked away, and then the next day, it was like, hey, what happened to that girl? Someone should check on her. So I watched a film about it. so i made a film uh 2017 or 16 something like that it's got jason clark in it he plays ted kennedy

australian actor jason clark he does a good job actually he's not trying to do a caricature yeah he's just doing a little bit but he's not going proper like mayor quimby right right ash clap what you can do for you yeah that's kind of her kennedy well john john yeah but they all sound like that yeah they're all kind of retarded i sort of crashed my car into the uh river And a young woman refused to take off a seatbelt, much as I pleaded with her. No one else talks with that. It's only Kennedy's. Yeah.

It's only like that weird, like, speech patterns. It's like, that's how they talk. Yeah. I think it might some do abuse. What, the lack of abuse? They're not getting to abuse enough. I think it's just the way to erase. Yeah, yeah.

It was like, I didn't talk with that. He got hit. If they talk normal for a second, it's a slap. So it's Jason Clark playing Ted Kennedy. And they've got. that blonde lady from House of Cards I think

they played the wife no place the woman who got killed oh she's good in it and it's kind of like they really do a good job and not really like not really overdoing

like he's evil but not like overdoing it's like I'm just a tragic figure I'm almost more tragic than that lady I killed oh the drink is a demon you know it kind of portrays him just kind of like

kind of a little bit emotionally distant from the thing he kind of shuts down a little bit it's like i'll have my team take care of this and he doesn't really realize how big the story's going to be he thinks he can just do a little like uh i'll just talk to the publisher and he wants serious yeah he's a little bit and then the guy's like we've already published the story that's not how it works anymore ted yeah and the interesting about as well is they have jim gaffigan yeah and ed helms okay as like his helpers Ed Helms is like the kind of half adopted brother for the family who's always around and then Jim Jaffigan's like a helper

and they kind of they are like the comic relief in the film of it a little bit like Laurel and Hardy they gotta like sort out this big mass yeah yeah where it's like you gotta take care of this or I don't know what I'm doing and then like uh you know it might be a little thing like you gotta talk to the guy and tell him not to publish the papers

like I'm in the wrong publishing office and then he falls over and then like you shout out of yeah why he's gotta happen and then at the end he does a speech and it's kind of like ted can i do yeah and i don't know it's like you really just kind of got it's a speech he's kind of like yeah well what are you gonna do hey uh pot call kettle black no then they show real about would you still vote for him? It's like, yeah.

Like, most people don't care about these things. No. I really do want to go over to America and experience it for myself. But I think I would enjoy it. I made a little... I was trying to keep a lot on notes when I was in America. Yeah. But that didn't happen because, you know, you're living life.

Of course. But I've made a little kind of timeline on the plane back of my adventure in America. All right. So I'll run through it. Let's do it. Real quick. Go. So, first of all, you get to the plane.

Yeah? You know, get in the plane. Delta. Real nice to have movies on the plane. Oh. And I watch lots of movies. Really? Yeah. I watched Kevin Hart, Brian Cranston Cripple movie.

Brian Cranston Cripple movie? Yeah, the upside. The upside. Yeah. Have you seen that? No, I haven't. I haven't even heard of it. Oh, it's like Brian Cranston is in a wheelchair.

Right. And he's like a rich guy. Yeah. And he's a poor guy. and he hires Kevin Hart to be like his helper I think this is a remake

of a French film I think the French film deals with race okay but the American film no not at all not really

not a problem not no issue literally I must see a French film because the American movie he's a little bit cross the star because you know

he can't use his legs yeah which we find out who he got crippled later on okay and I assumed it was like an accident

and he mentioned like his wife had died So I was like, oh, he lost his legs and his wife, the two things he loves most. That's true. And his wife. Oh, you got me there, O'Toole, reeled me in for that one. Woo! Yeah.

Where's Johnny Carson? He's dead. What? But, like, yeah, but it turns out in the end, he just went hang gliding in, like, a thunderstorm. Oh. And that's, yeah. That's how he died. No, no, that's how he lost.

No, no, that's how his wife died. No, no, no. The wife just died of cancer, like, the next month. So, like, you have no sympathy for him, because, like, you're an idiot. Yeah. So, like, he's a little bit grumpy to start, and Kevin Hart's, like, a little bit, like, you know. Yo! No, please, continue.

Go ahead. This will be good for the tribunal. Your Honor, Brian O'Toole, Kevin Hart, impression. You're wasting your life in this big mansion. You should be out in the streets. Party. eating pizza and smoking wheat with some with some ladies yeah he's like oh i don't know like that and then like five minutes there's like we're best friends and then they're just friends the whole movie and there's no like kind of conflict okay where it should have been like you know Brian Cranston like was crippled by a black man yeah and then he fucked his wife he got cooked all right and then Kevin Hart teaches him like you know we're not all like yo we're not all like that there's something like that's a bit of tension there really isn't any kind of tension at all it's just like

Brian Cranston the whole film was just basically in love with Kevin Hart and Kevin Hart is the same yeah yeah and then like there's like I'm trying to think of any tension in the film I think at one stage like he's like Brian Cranston is to get a crush on the assistant right and he's like well I don't know what to do and Kevin Hart it gets them together at the end and that's it teaches what so Kevin Hart facilitates workplace sexual harassment for the cripple can't do it himself

basically it's a nice and he also like did a scene where like he has to like change his catator or something like that and they play it for laughs and it's like

this is kind of like why is he hired because Kevin Hart has no like medical experience yeah but now he's just like his full on carer how did he get the job

like because he walked in and he's like I don't give a fuck if you hire me basically like that I like you're mott he came

you hire it was basically that where like they have like the other guy's for jobs I'm like ah ira

I studied medicine for three years and I beat it yeah you're dork yeah yeah

yeah you're Kevin Hart obviously you got fake fruit here this what is this place I got three kids

I got a raise and it's like raising kids raising you raise me as well and you raise yourself and yeah and I was on a kick

then after that so I watched if Beale Street could talk you watched what if beale street could talk if beetles street could beale oh beale yeah sorry beale street could talk i've never heard of that either oh it's a drama i think amazon put it out it's about this black guy yeah oh starting to notice the theme here it's accused of what are they just like on the plane to america is like okay we just got to let them know that there might be some issues we got to ease so they play roots uh it's like they know all irish people we

go up to best history when it comes to like you know we call it crack what do people call it serious racism so they'll have to ease in like look Kevin Hart you like him don't you it's like hmm maybe they're not so bad yeah it's good but it's yeah very good

this black guy gets accused of raid well the police kind of force her to like to the woman to identify him okay right because they wanted to get him because they're cops yeah all cops are evil that's what the film is saying okay and you know the woman

is pregnant there's a different woman and she's pregnant she's in love with the guy who's been accused to rape okay it's a very serious drama that I won't even like

make fun of because I liked it a lot okay the only kind of funny bit in it was like Dave Franco shows up is like

but I'm really overdoing it as like you know he's got the um the Yamaka he's got a Yamika and this like

the twist is he's actually like he actually lowers the rent like that's like they really I think they're like they're playing like he's actually really nice yeah yeah it's like oh that's a that's a big shock is it yeah you're like oh okay I wasn't thinking that anyway but like I guess you've made me

double think some things yeah good work movie but it's a good movie yeah okay if Beale Street could talk yeah so those are two movies I watched and after that I got bored and fell sleep. And then I got to America and got on a bus. I actually got on the wrong bus at first. I just took me a loop around and I ended up back in the airport. Oh God, really?

How long were you on it? No, it's only about it's like an express kind of things. It was only like 15 minutes. Okay, okay. I kind of like was winging it a bit because I knew where it's like two hours away from where I was, the airport. Yeah. I kind of thought, oh fuck I'll just kind of go. So I hopped on a bus, my phone died. I ended up

in Wendy's. I'm still like an hour away from where I had to go. Phone was dead. I went to the Wendy's. Wendy's was very, uh, not professional. Really?

Yeah. A lot of people are just chatting. A lot of staff just going chatting and not really paying attention to me. Uh, sir, I will get you in a moment. Yeah, a lot of, uh, sass. Yeah,

a lot of sass. You don't appreciate it. Yeah. So I was like, well, maybe it's because I was very stressed at the time because I was like, my phone's dead. Yeah.

Yeah. country don't really know where I'm going I've got the address I know it's a general this direction so I have to get an Uber then Uber like for such a long trip was like $50 oh yeah pricey so I got to the place and then they were like Ocean Edge I'm going to say the name is the name of the resort the resort I was working is going to be a barman in Ocean Edge I'll say the name yeah well you have said yeah I left a few funny reviews on their TripAdvisor but TripAdvisor won't accept reviews that they find to be offensive oh really yeah yeah okay so well what are some of the do you remember

some at least oh yeah i i i yeah it's just kind of like i i was doing fake reviews were like it was like someone really hating me okay yeah so it was like i loved all the staff this brand a two prick i i can't wait to hunt him down i know i thought it was funny but okay trip advisor disagrees no trip advisor have a very specific sense of humor so i got to ocean edge and they were like um they told me it was like going to be three days until they like give me an actual place okay to stay yeah okay so i was like oh i'm just kind of like no place for three days so first place because my phone um i wasn't enough pay for another uber yeah yeah my phone was kind of low again i was like ah i don't go too far so i end up going just like kind of fancy hotel right

it was close by don't want to stay in a resort yeah that was way too expensive this hotel was like kind of cheap enough okay and it was weird it was like a convent the former convent so like oh yeah yeah yeah so you walk around like all these like no I think it was like girls school or something like that

okay so it's like all these like convent like that teaches girls is that I'm saying yeah yeah so it's all the pictures around are like really sad looking black and white pictures of children and then stir nuns you can tell like god they really beat the shit

yeah there's a lot of unhappy times yeah and were like were there any remnants of that was just pictures it had a feel of it you know okay yeah bad juju bad nun juju yeah okay

and then um I was just kind of hanging out I was trying to like talk to the other guests and this one guy was pretty interesting he was telling me like um

um um there was like so this changed the law in New York right before it was like a statue of limitations in revolved

to like being molested okay so like say if you were like raped as a child by someone yeah and you're like over a certain age yeah it's like

tough look but now they've changed it and it's actually like they changed in the second they changed it all these lawyers they've got actual like ads just just just just

just for that thing like if you've been molested in the years from da da da da da da da come to me and we can fight this case together and then the guy I was talking to in the former nuns convent awful place

was telling me like that's like a scam it's a scam yeah yeah yeah The lawyers probably are working with the fake victims and the people who make the laws in New York. They changed this just then get to the priest and try and bankrupt the Catholic Church. Oh, okay. So this is like a conspiracy theory of this guy? Oh, yeah, he was insane. Oh, right, right, yeah.

And he's telling me this eating waffles. No, because for a second there, I was like, oh, it's a scam, is it? No, I was like, I was like totally reeled in. Yeah, I was as well. Yeah, yeah. A lot of times these crazy people... They reel you in. They don't, like, start off with saying, like, it's the Jews.

Yeah. You know, they don't start off with that. They ease you in. They're like, like, a fisherman, okay? They'll get you in or, like, I suppose, yeah, I suppose, like, do you really believe everything news tells you? And you're like, suppose, I don't. Yeah. I don't want to be an idiot.

Then, like, again, like, do you think bankers are your best interest? No. And then you're like, oh, okay, I kind of like this guy. Yeah. And then, slam! Israel So I left that place And again

I'm not even like Really sure where I'm going So I ended up fucking Getting another Uber To this place called Hyannis Which is like a kind of seaside town But it was like just offseason Summer hadn't officially started yet

So it was like kind of real empty I was wandering around Not much to do And I ended up going to the hostel It was cool like It was kind of like I imagine what You know where people talk about, like, the final episode of Soundfeld or something like that? And everyone's indoors watching it.

Yeah, yeah. This was the night of the final episode of Game of Thrones. Oh, right, okay. So it did really feel like everyone's watching. You go, you blow by, it's like, places empty. Yeah. And even when I walked in my hostel where I was staying that night, one guy with an iPad put it up on the table, everyone's watching it. Oh, wow.

A final episode. Real water cooler by my phone. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of fun. And then, like, it was a real shit episode. Yeah, yeah. It was a bad season, like, the whole season. Yeah, it was a final season.

funny how like it was only like what seven episodes and like yeah it really like it went from like this is the greatest show ever like shit you just wasn't it such a nose die yeah yeah yeah it wasn't even like over course like i'm not sure if i like this ah it was immediate this is shit and then people went from like i love this i have tattoos about yeah i have weddings based on game of thrones this is the greatest thing ever to like i'm going to kill those two men i gotta smother my own child yeah and I am going to bomb the HBO building Like I'm good This is the worst thing ever

Like they were treating it like They were watching the towers fall Like this is disgusting We need to kill someone Yeah yeah It was pure outrage Yeah But it was kind of justifiable

It was very very disappointing Like it was just very rushed They were just like ticking all the boxes And it just felt very Major characters Yeah in the final episode like a major character gets stabbed basically and dies and I was like and it was much longer's left it's just very man yeah anyway it was weird I felt nothing

yeah felt nothing it was like the show had stolen all my serotonin and I just couldn't feel and like I couldn't think about like situation like this before we're like we're all sitting around this hostel watching it yeah it then it ends none of us wants to talk about it yeah yeah we all went our separate ways so people just walked out and just walked into the ocean so it's like can i borrow this toaster yeah it was and i remember watching that last episode god it was disappointed yeah it was no like like oh at the end like something happens like we all go like whoa yeah or like any kind of a sports moment no there was nothing even that big moment that big that you just talk about, even when that happened

was just like, eh, whatever. Yeah, it was terrible. I wish I was dead. And then I will spoil it. Bran becomes king. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Gray. Yeah.

Another cripple. What does he hire Kevin Hart? You, break. You gotta stop fucking with these dragons, boy. He's like, he's wasted time as Cassie. He has to see the real Winterfell. I need to get down with these wenches, son. Oh, Jesus.

I love his in-your-face attitude. But Brad was able to predict that. Oh, no, he couldn't predict shit. He only knew everything in the past, doesn't it? No, I think he could see the future. He could predicts them. Then he could see, like, what a crow sees or something. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was.

He's a real peep in Tom. Yeah, he really is. Like, really, even the first episode. Yeah. Jamie's just trying to fuck his sister A consensual sex Okay And then Brad's like peepy

Peepie Let me look Why can't I film And Jamie Like does the best Like the best thing ever Like throws a kid off the window Which I was like

Maybe this is my kind of sense But like I saw it I was like I love this Yeah No it was The best thing ever Like Yeah

Because the whole episode Was good But then it was just such Amazing ending To the first episode you're just like when you see that they're going to push a kid out of a window to his death you're like oh shit they'll you know I think this is why some people are like us where we just love stuff like that just the grotesque shit stuff like oh I love this yeah yeah yeah yeah I saw once upon time in Hollywood and it was in America yeah yeah yeah I don't explain anything because I like that

yeah we'll talk about that later on but like the bit at the end were like it goes mad yeah yeah I was loving that same yeah But I was with four Normies who were like, what is wrong with, why is Brian clapping? And laughing at this awful, these awful things. But they don't even know, they didn't know who like Manson was really. Yeah, see, that's the thing. You needed the context. Yeah, so they didn't even really like get what was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, one of them kept going like, what's going on? I was like, just like, I really cannot explain this to you right now. This is too much to explain. Yeah. that is a big I just showing a picture Sharon Tate's body on my phone link

you see that that's going to happen to you helter Skelter we're all going to live in a big hole in the desert

and we're going to come out and you'll all pay then oh Jesus Christ oh I don't know look so we'll go back to I want to get back to my notes yeah yeah

so we watch Game of Thrones sad next day wander around Hyannis again really nothing to do because I don't want to spend too much money because I haven't started my job yet

yeah yeah so then next day finally get to Ocean Edge and the resort and they give me a room in the accommodation which is like beside the resort so kind of like Titanic you know with rich people in the resort and then we're the poor people

down below yeah down below and these little now just like the woods and these little like dorms okay we're staying and they're kind of like bunk bed situation right right and the dorms are all connected so like it's like six people sharing a shower which you all get used to you know okay it was me and like two Nigerians and

Jesus tell you that really sort of an inferiority complex is that really like you wake up in the morning you're like Jesus tick oh I go for a shower right now I'm fine thank you I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself sir and they're like Brian you shower with like your shorts on it's uh it's an irish thing that's uh i'm not afraid what's that i just looked at me try to perform an exorcism on it that's really what like any kind of racist person i think put them in a put him in a shower with some black guys we'll see their true colors what a wonderful phrase to you

Oh, Jesus Take that Nigel Oh, God So, like, they put me there Yeah, yeah And it seems nice, okay My roommate hadn't moved in yet So I had a bunk bed

It was on my own In my own room With Wi-Fi and stuff And like, oh, okay, there's a lot of Irish people around Right, right I was like, oh okay, I would probably try And like talk to Irish people Yeah

So I went out, there's like a close, nearby pub It was like literally so Everything's so far away It's like one pub beside us And that's it, everything else They have to get an Uber And the one pub was okay It was like Brewster Sports

It was like sports bar So it always had a number sports on And a few like regulars there Who just want to watch the sport And just drink And then like just the guy who ran it Was a guy called Coop Coop

I think he served in the military He seemed pretty cool He yelled at me once for spilling a drink But And he hates Serbians Ah Yeah he won't serve Serbians Really?

Yeah Wow Yeah Jesus which you know have you got from with that uh it's kind of weird like we over there when any serbians were there it be weird it wasn't weird it wasn't he just like he's never met a serbian his life he's like i just don't like them the sound of it sounds too much like syrians so there's irish people there yeah yeah and i was like

i'll get to know him but i'm a bit nervous because i'm like oh you know i gotta play this right because I'm here for three months so I don't want to say something to make him angry. Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of like went out with them that night, the first night in the dorms. Yeah. Well, it's kind of quiet. I was like, I'm going to buy my time here.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just kind of suss out the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in the next day, it's already, we have three days of orientation then. So you don't just start work.

We have to do orientation. Sure. And it's real like, welcome to the Ocean Edge family. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like three days of that. Like you just. sitting there and like all these videos but the most like all like lifting the box lift you

you know bend your knees yeah yeah all that and then like some really ridiculous stuff like we literally had a video was all about like uh i don't know why we had to watch all the videos so it was like us the bartenders were also like chefs and everything as well so like we had to watch stuff about foods preparation and like literally said like if you got AIDS like don't be bleeding in the food and stuff like you see a guy taking no Oh, you live and learn. Like, you have to watch these videos really bad acting of like, you know, hey, uh, you've got AIDS and all.

No need to, like, wear a bandage. Like, hey, Terry. Come on now. You've got to be part of the team here. And then also, like, these videos of like, uh, hey, Susie, nice to meet you. And you grabs her tip. Hey, George. That's not, that's not, that's sexual harassment.

and like no guys they're gonna fuck this although the russians not like oh really oh wow the russian guys are like i do not see problem the only problem is she speak when she should not I do not understand is this comedy is this Adam Sandler film

what is happening I do not know it's kind of like Adam Sandler film but on that it's like he's charming yeah yeah and he just like weird voice oh I'll keep touching my tits then then there's another version just as a woman comes out oh Adam

why are you grabbing the breast shut up yeah so you watch these videos yeah it's like three days of that and it was like this is the worst and then we start work the day after all those videos and I'm working a place called the Shark Ba

the Shark Ba do you get it oh b a h it's kind of the b sharps you know right it's funny the first time shock bah yeah yeah so it's the bar sharp and b a h b b b b b b b b b b yeah yeah that's very yeah so that's three months of like people going like hey shock boss hey it's the shock bar yeah yeah yeah yes i get you yes this is where you are i get you sir you like them apples give me i have to go cry for a while please so it's me and like it's like um we're working the sharks we're kind of like separate from the rest of resort's here and then we're like off on the side by a pool area right and we're like

just um it's like a little cabana kind of thing yeah yeah and we're there with a few points and like a few balls stuff and we're serving people at the pool yeah sounds nice yeah it's me and like some uh people from montenegro okay uh kind of uh other countries i think Serbian, not Serbia, Kupun let that happen. No. Heaven for fans. I just kind of,

I think Serbian might be like Yugoslavia. This is like, kind of former Soviet bloc. Right, okay. Kind of like that whole area. Like, I was me, no other Irish people there.

So I felt a little bit left out because like sometimes I felt like they were talking about me. Oh. It felt a bit clicky, you know, sometimes and like, yeah,

and I just hear like, like, certain words. You know, like the word brine and like maybe like some, maybe something that's slightly homophobic, you know, maybe something that sounded a bit like faggot, but maybe it was just like, uh, maybe that Montenegro would have a word that sounds like faggot.

That describes. Yeah, but means like cool guy. Cool guy with, uh, average size penis and that's totally okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what probably was in meant. Yeah, yeah. They were very serious as well. I think I had a bit of advantage because all of them was English or second language.

Okay. And they were kind of like very stern people. you know right from that region like okay they've seen

some they're not silly people you know they live through Trinobos yeah yeah yeah

where like I can be a bit like I've got played the Irish card a lot as well yeah

and people love that they really fetishized the Irish people over yeah I've heard that

yeah like Boston's kind of like Ireland's Israel like it's like the promise yeah yeah yeah

they love it like and like and like a lot of people like would speak Irish to me

but it's not right but they'd give it like hey slant you're like what yeah come on slanch you're like give me slancher

no cocksucker I meant slanch and you have to go yes sir you're right you're right yeah what are you a fucking queer huh what's the problem slanch

god they love cock sucker and fag they love say fag a few yeah and they love they love the fact that we call

cigarettes fags in Ireland are you serious they think that's hilarious oh god they will tell you like they I'm not joking I had one guy in the airport just on the way back now one guy

the airport and he was like you going Dublin I hear you can say fag over there the only reason I'm going he was with his wife I was like yeah we're supposed to be called cigarettes pegs like

hear that they say fag and his wife's look so like please don't though we've had issues about this already you can say fang

oh my god so anyway like yeah they kind of dropped like that's gay a lot more than like you're used to nother than like he's even real casual like oh that's so gay

really they still do that yeah dropped that a lot yeah yeah so anyway it was I was there in Shark Bar for a few weeks

and it was very quiet because the season had started yeah okay but I was liking it you know you're kind of sitting around you know

you'd have a good job to do clean the bar and like every now and again someone will come along you have time to talk to him stuff like that's not too busy yeah and our manager was cool he's called zach he was our manager at the time he was from hawaii and he had the kind of Hawaii vibe to him like really laid back yeah and he was a he's a surfer and he would literally like I don't know how he does this uh like he has two kids that he raises but he also has time in the morning to go surfing before work okay so like let's say for him work would start like seven he's the manager. So he goes surfing before that? Yeah, he goes surfing and then goes to work and works

all day and then goes home and has kids to look after. And he's like, his wife was like a doctor or something like that. So she's busy as well. Really? They probably have like a care or something, don't they? It makes sense. Even then like the care can't help him surf. And he was cool. He was telling me like about, I think I was telling us the time as well over Facebook. Like there was a bomb skier in Hawaii and he he was in Hawaii at the time oh really where like they let off this fake like um they have like an emergency defense system that comes on to like a bomb is heading towards Hawaii oh like a missile yeah yeah and he went off by accident and he was saying people were like proper like you know just putting the kids in the car and drives the mountains are you serious that's what he

was doing like yeah yeah and only lasted like a few minutes yeah yeah and then they got a thing like this was a mistake yeah but he was telling me it's really interesting he was telling me like when he was driving along he saw like a lot of Asian tourists like um picked up manhole covers picked up manhole covers like to go down go underground yeah yeah yeah wow everyone else all the white Americans idiots and like Irish people and like all the other Europeans all that were running around like headless chickens yeah Asians knew exactly what to do go underground because they got experience that's true yeah yeah they've just Godzilla right that's sorry

Yeah, I gotcha. He was really interesting. Just like the idea of like, for a few minutes he taught like, oh, I think me and my wife and Gaze are going to die in a nuclear holocaust. Even for a few minutes. Like that's insane. That's crazy. It must be terrified. Yeah, he was saying like he was really trying to like, it's okay. But his heart was proper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it would be like, it would be easier just to shoot the kids in the head for the bomb drops. I can't surf my way out of this, you know. me, me, man, me, man. Everybody surfing. Which, by the way, they played that song in the bar. I'm not exaggerating about 20 times every day. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, it was almost like torture.

You know, it was in Guantanamo. They play, like, songs, like, to make the terrorists speak. To make the terrorists confess things that haven't done. Yeah. Yeah, you know. It was kind of like that. It was, like, real, like, mind fuck where, like, I go to sleep and hear that song. Yeah, I understand.

well I had a similar thing because I started working in McDonald's the year that Sopranos ended so Don't Stop Believing had just come out and I was with this guy and he just had one of those shitty Now that's what I call music CDs and he would just play like that song it was track 17 Don't Stop Believing over and over and over again like for hours for hours like the entire eight hours shift And what makes it even more annoying Is that particular song You wanted to stop Don't stop believing

Yeah Like that's what Yeah, it's like we work at McDonald's made Like the dream's over Like we have stopped believing It's part of the company Stick your head in the friar Like it's part of the team you sign

When you get the jobs Like do you stop believing And tick the box for yes But even I remember when I did McDonald's Like we watched one of those instructional videos That it was Justin Timberliggs Like yo what's up guys it's your boy justin yo i'm so happy to be a part of the macdonald's crew

welcome to the family and i was like this is just the most soul-cushing thing he picked up a frying goes yon and then pretend to putting his mouth and that just makes himself get sick didn't they pay him like a ridiculous amount of money just to go like i'm loving it probably yeah yeah i think for a super bowl that they paid him like some ridiculous amounts then he i know And he went and grabbed Jenna, what was it, Jada Jackson's Tid? He didn't grab it. Her tit fell out because she, it was her fault.

And that's enough of that. Like she got dead, he got done. He's the one that ripped her thing off. Actually, I don't want to talk to which was just. I heard, he went to Les Moonvest and proper cried about that. What's Les Moonfest? He's the head of like, um, NBC. he was the head he got done for uh what what do you fucking think you know like that you know it really is a stereotype but what what's the rich white guy gonna do with that intern

um be nice to her wrong so he went and cried about it yeah he went to like i'm so sorry and cried about that's what insiders say that's probably why he because he got nothing yeah yeah yeah she got all the flag but anyway sorry also like we all also like we treat white men's better than women of women and also women in terms of like you know if if his pants fell down

I don't think let's say in Super Bowl just in Brick's cock fell out I don't I think people more like oh that's embarrassing imagine that happened to me yeah we're like because but like if a tit falls out

the men are like slow yeah pretty much basically yeah like that who she's making me horny so she has to die that's how they think but anyway it was all it's all kind of going well a little quiet but hey I don't care yeah I was kind of making roads with the other people there in the dorms with Irish people I was still keeping a little bit quiet so I was trying to drink too much because I don't trust myself when I'm drinking

yeah I'm worried I might do something embarrassing sure and then I drank and I'm like oh that's why I don't think like there's one night there I was like I'm got a few cans of a four local oh yeah I've heard of a four local so I drank four local and I accidentally hit this girl in the face yeah no I didn't like punch or anything but yeah so like I was drunk and I was using my hands to describe something yeah like back of my back of the hand you tell me about this yeah I felt really bad it doesn't feel good to hit a woman no no I don't I don't get the whole heel of it I don't know what you're into it so well you know I just gotta yeah yeah you gotta work on it you know i just i don't have the upper body strength to

take on a man so i whacked her and know it's not really bad about but she was she was good about like she wasn't like you know didn't they ask you to leave though at the time yeah i was kind of like no i'm gonna bite my tongue i suppose she was in the right yeah but a little bit of me like you know just because i hit you it doesn't mean like you have right i should leave the part yeah yeah but you know what i probably should i uh it's best when you hear you hits... When you hit a woman in public It's best not to cause

too much of a fuss Yeah, don't make yourself a victim Don't be like But I want to stay in the party This is not fair But yeah We're all good

We didn't see Tie Story 4 afterwards Okay Yeah, it was all good Is that actually I haven't seen it Yeah Seems unnecessary Only watch it if you've hit a woman

In the face And you're trying to make up for it I mean it works You know Yeah Yeah You fell for it well no i i genuinely felt bad about that but it was like it all water under bridge yeah yeah and it was so

funny is like i'd be like talking other people about it and i'd be like oh man i felt so bad because i kind of whacked her in the face by accident they're like oh that's all what were you drinking and like four loco and they were like oh yeah that makes sense oh yeah four loco if you're drinking anything else you're a monster four loco i've all we've all done that you know you drink four loki yet little sloppy sloppy yeah yeah by accident yeah yeah now i've heard that shit like drives you mental oh yeah that's it tone it down used to be stronger yeah yeah people's lungs are exploding i imagine yeah so like oh we're going along on this yeah yeah we should probably we you know it's kind of going like good so we should probably pause it in a few minutes

and do a part two okay instead of having a real long file yeah okay yeah sure well let's let's leave it on like a we'll wrap it up and we'll because i've got more america stuff yeah yeah yeah so we're not gonna finish it in one episode no yeah no well i'll just say this okay okay i'll leave on a bit suspense so it's all going well yes and then zach leaves we get a new manager right a woman oh oh and i was disgusted where's my four local some bitches are about to get told a lesson you hear what you hear what did last night oh i'm just listening to like who's like a real alt-righty god just listening like as i'm ben japiro like getting ready oh come on oh jesus i'm gonna debate you wink wink yeah so um and uh we'll talk

about that in next episode okay all right but it's been fun this has been fun we're going to do part two now and we release that next week all right all right thanks for Hello, Adam, you're only one of the distance. Good look.