Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 250 : Give My Head Podcast

Episode Date: April 26, 2025

Gavin Robinson comes 'round and does some Magic.

So we should watch that. Yeah? For the podcast, not also just for our mental health. We should watch. Have you watched any given my head peace? I watched it when I was maybe like 10 years old. That's very young. Back when it was...

That's why you're so politically involved these days, you know? I don't really... Who is the Uncle Andy? What was his whole thing? Was he in the UDA or something? Oh, I thought the joke was he's a Republican. He's like Jerry Adams. Oh.

I can't remember. Yeah, Da was more than Jerry Adams time. Da is like, you know, I hate all those. Unionist bastards. Yes. But he's an idiot. They're all laugh at him, you know? Right.

He was like, they shouldn't beat up women at those marches. And everyone laughs because it's hilarious. I'd be honest, as a child, I think all of the very subtle, political commentary went over my head. I was like,

I was kind of like, where's Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones doing, why aren't they fighting aliens? I was actually a big sci-fi kid when I was young. Really? I loved all the 90s sci-fi stuff, you know? I mean, that's pretty good. What are you talking about?

So men and, Men of Black, species, I remember I liked a lot. You know, alien, predator, all that junk. That's only for dumb asses and freaks. Don't turn your back on your people now. You're deep down, you're a dork like me, you know. What species? She was just like a sexy alien who was going around banging everybody.

Oh, that's like a more kind of 2000s movie, isn't it? No, it was 90s. Oh, is it? What's the one with Adrian Brody? I don't know what that one is. Oh, that splice, isn't it? Blyce. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, there's two movies about sexy aliens.

I don't think she's sexy in that. I think splice she's a child. Is that not the thing? No. Pretty sure. Don't do this. This is Matilda all over again. Oh, it's making me look the bad guy, right?

I'll look up later on, sexy aliens. They'll prove you. Sexy child alien. I'll prove you. Then, but you know what else? Big action, like love 90s action. Like, I've watched. so many Stephen Segal

movies and again I was so young that I had no idea just how terrible they were or he is as an actor but yeah I just I binge watched all that like obviously lethal weapons, diehards rush hour

I loved all that stuff you know You're a pretty cool kid And then I grew up and I realized what the world is You don't make friends with Chinese people And say funny things nah, that's not what happens You're just alone

On the far by yourself Walking around the cattle shed Jerking your little pecker Hoping the cameras can't see you The smell of shit is in the air You got cameras up to you Alergic to the wood shavings You got cameras do you

Yeah to see if the cows are calving Oh that's cool yeah That's a nice little set up you got Yeah well not anymore It's all gone now. Oh, is it? Yeah.

Or are the cows still there? Yeah. Yeah, my uncle has some cows there. Okay, yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm sad. I'm still watching Stephen Segal movies. Don't worry.

Watch a good 90s movie there a while ago. Arlington Road, have you seen that? What is that? You mentioned it? I didn't know what I was. It's like, it's funny. I lied. I'll be honest with you.

You had mentioned that and I panics. Yeah, I've seen that before you. I've seen that, yeah. I've seen it while I was getting jerked off by your mum. What? Brian. How could I? And I'm finding out about this now that you've seen Arlington Road and you didn't think to bring it up to me? Dude, we've got to be. Yeah. And how do you like the old dog? I thought of that my show. Hey, mama, this is how you're doing. Am I right?

Oh. Hey, no, no, none of that's true. I didn't, uh, I never seen Arlington Road. Too busy. We weren't enough hours in the day. you know what is it what is it so arson road is the whole thing it's like this kind of uh paranoia thriller movie but it's all centered on domestic terrorism right so jeff bridges is a college professor and his wife was in the fbi i but she died killed by some kind of like white nationalist alt-right types okay yeah in a kind of very in the 90s yeah in the 90s it's a thing the way it happened is very similar to Ruby Ridge.

Oh, okay. Those are like survivalists kind of, yeah. The FBI, they find out this family of survivalists have guns. They're going to take the guns, but then a shoot out happens and his wife gets killed and a couple of kids get killed. Wait, that was constantly happening where

like, it's like that group there have guns and kids. Yeah. They could shoot somebody. It could be dangerous. So let's just get involved, all right? Let's wave her guns around and threaten them. Let's just burn down the whole building full of kids and uh basically like early gaza just like you know yeah ruby ridge and waco like those

were both by the ATF that kind of fucked up both those things real fucking incompetent but then what happened was the oklahoma city bombing and then everyone was like oh the ATF are actually cool again and it's the white nationalists that we need to worry about you saying that's a bit convenient i wouldn't use those words brian you can say it what you can you can see It worked out pretty well for the ATF then, didn't it? But, and then what happened? The fucking crime bill? And then the fucking Patriot Act, dude.

And now we're just leaving in a fucking dystopian nightmare. And I blame Jeff Bridges entirely. So Jeff Bridges is a college professor, but he gets a new neighbor, Tim Robbins. But he's starting to think, there's something not right about this Tim Robbins character. What's he doing? He's just, you know, like, he tells him, oh, I went to college here, but then he finds he didn't go to college there he finds out that he lied about his identity

and he finds out that Tim Robbins actually was like back in his college years was a sort of a hard leftist that sort of went hard right and became a survivalist and they're taking our guns and freedoms and blah blah blah and everyone thinks Jeff Bridges is crazy

and paranoid. Just to interrupt there this seems pretty ripped from the headlines. Oh it is yeah but the thing is because of I believe so it came out in 99 because Columbine happened and it's so close to the bone you're talking about domestic terrorism

and you know obviously Columbine is a mass shooting a lot of white kids so it basically got kind of a the release date got pushed back and pushed back and the theatrical release was very limited so it didn't really do well

like domestically it's kind of a movie that got a re-appreciation years later because it is legit good so tell me more tell me more Uh, so yeah, basically Jeff Bridges is trying to convince everyone, you know, there's something not right about this guy. I think he might be planning a bomb or something. And then it turns out that's exactly what it is. And so the whole thing becomes this race against time to try and stop Tim Robbins and his crazy cookie group from setting off this bomb in a public building. And, uh, then they actually kidnap Jeff Bridges as kid. It's like, we've got your kid. So don't, don't tell anyone what we're planning to do. And what are they planned to do? Blow up a big...

Actually, it's at the FBI. Oh. At the FBI headquarters. Oh, right. So very similar to the OKC bombing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, going to set off a bomb at the FBI headquarters. But they're like, we have your kid and we'll kill him if you try and...

But then Jeff Bridges, he's a hero. And he, like, alerts the FBI and tries to get the kid back. But then it actually doesn't work. And the bomb goes off. and Jeff Bridges and all the FBI people die. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a real, like, you know, I probably should have, it's a big spoiler.

Yeah, well, I'm spoiled as well, so we're all in the same boat people if you're listening. I probably should have. Well, what happens then? It ends. That's the end. Well, the right wing guy wins. Yeah, yeah. Finally.

Jeff Bridges' his kid gets sent to foster care, probably getting boofed nine to five, you know? It's a very dark, unconventional ending. Exactly. That's another reason why it was kind of poshed and forgotten about. Now, the thing is, it's really not like high art or anything. It's kind of your typical 90s action thriller movie. 90s are a bit more cynical with that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah.

So this one is an incredibly cynical, dark ending. Jeff Bridges dies when the bomb goes off and the FBI headquarters, killing FBI people on Jeff Bridges and innocent people. And then Tim Robbins, he wins. He gets away, Scott Free. wow and we the audience are we in any way kind of rooting do we see the side of tim robbins you know like the rock for example they kind of show like the guys aren't completely evil they're trying to get money to help them because they're being fucked over by the government no this is very much like you know I mean you could make arguments that you know like Ruby Ridge or Waco obviously radicalize them yeah like you know the government did overextend themselves and there was a lot of loss of life that could have been avoided were it not for the heavy

handed tactics of the ATF and the FBI and whatever. That still doesn't justify the OKC bombing though, you know? OkayC have you watched much of the documentary that came out? The recent one? The Netflix one, yeah. Yeah, I... What's the best

documentary to watch about, you know what's annoying? Because I got real stupid brain. So I'll listen to like a five-hour podcast about Ruby Ray, let's say about OKC and I'll remember none of it. Yeah. Like, literally none. Like, wasn't there one security guard involved?

Someone involved who, like, you can, like, shoot themselves and claim over a fence? Yeah, so Terrence Yeeke. Well, look, the thing is, obviously, with any huge big event, mass casualty event, there is going to be conspiracies around it. Yeah. And Oklahoma City is no exception.

And so Timothy McVeigh, the guy who carried out OKC bombing allegedly, he kind of gets you know he was at this place this like you know survivalist group like white power group they were called Elohim City but like there was like a bunch of FBI

people confirmed to be undercover there as well probably fucking funding him as well the FBI the biggest funder of terrorists in America is the FBI this is something that has all come out you know more so after the war on terror and all that stuff but yeah like I think

and when this episode drops Holy shit. The FBI Bear, watch out. There's also claims that, you know, the amount of damage that was done to the building could not have been done just by a fertilizer bomb in a truck outside the building, just the structural damage.

But again, I'm not a fucking engineer or an architect. I don't know. I can look at somebody saying, hey, this doesn't make sense and I can just be tricked by editing and go, yeah, it doesn't make sense. No, no, I'm the exact same. I'm an idiot. I'll believe whatever you tell me.

pretty much. I'm the exact same. I'll listen to one podcast to like, it couldn't do that. I'm like, you're right, it couldn't.

Yeah. And another podcast was like, yeah, obviously it could do that. And you'd be an idiot to think it couldn't. Like, yeah. I know.

Yeah, that's right. I knew that. I knew James was an idiot. Yeah. And gay. Come on, man. Don't say that about your brother. Yeah,

that's why I, when people, anyone accuses me of being an idiot, I just do a racist voice. I'm like, ah, he's actually all right, doesn't me?

They bamboozled him. Oh, by the way, shout out to OKC, by the way. There's a good chance... Shout out to OKC. Brian's a big fan of that bombing. No, not just that, all right. But OKC, they're Oklahoma City Thunder, I think. There's a good chance you're going to win the fucking NBA title this year.

They're called the Thunder. Yeah, OKC Thunder. Yeah, yeah. Actually, interesting real quick, just a side note, okay? Is there a coming out song, here comes the boom? That'd be pretty funny. can laugh at their own. Yeah, that's a bit of a laugh.

When you're playing, we're doing the live show in Oklahoma, yeah. That'd be good. Boy, I wouldn't want a bomb in this city. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't want to murder any children here. Yeah. So it used to be the Seattle Supersonics. Right.

They were a basketball team in Seattle for years and years. And Howard Schultz bought them. He's the owner of Starbucks. Oh, okay. And people are like, hey, if he can run a coffee company, he can run a basketball team. You know, he's such a good business man, all right? And he buys it, goes to shoy.

Yeah, and he's constantly trying to get money off to the council, you know? He's like, doing the classic, like, if you don't give us money for a stadium, we'll leave. It's like, no. It's like, oh, okay. Well, now we have to charge $100 per hot dog, you know? Right, right. It all went to shit, all right? And then this businessman from OKC bought the team, and he was like, we're not going to move the team.

I promise you, we're not going to move the team. And then the second he bought it, he's like, we're moving the team. Ha, psych! Yeah, yeah. I think it was literally like a thing where the people who worked in the building showed up one day and the doors are locked where's everybody

you know and there's like a big truck going down to OKC full of basketball players you know like let us help us you know actually that most recent Oklahoma City documentary though

there's a funny bit like all the FBI and ATF agents that were meant to be in the building that day they were all at this golf tournament of course yeah this like charity golf tournament so there's just like footage of them like all like in

their khakis and polo shirts driving around golf carts like we were having a great day and then my beeper went off and everybody's beeper goes up and they just cut to like children on fire and just like flesh burning you know

I got a hole in one but no one talks about that those kids really stole my thunder yeah but I don't know so Arlington Road is a decent film though I would say Kevin Bridges with another movie were he played like an IRA guy

did you have watched that? Kevin Bridges No, sorry, yeah Jeff Bridges Jeff Bridges, yeah imagine if Kevin Bridges was in that the dude

I'm telling you fucking Tim Robbins he's your fucking wrong and I tell you he's gonna fucking burn down the school or something No, Kevin Bridges

didn't you play like an IRA guy Jeff Bridges you did it again Wow Jeff Bridges played an IRA guy Kevin Bridges was in Toronto

wasn't he I'm the dude the dude abides you know what I mean that's my fucking rug I'm pushed on the fucking rug right

and now I'm fucking out of pocket Jeff Bridges played an IRA guy didn't he play like he was the master bomb maker maybe

I don't know I think there was some film where he's like an IRA guy and he's like you know what he's doing like a norty accident

I'm sick of blowing up Belfast I'm gonna blow up Chicago and he goes over here he's like, I've rigged a bomb in the city, I think it's like Harrison Ford, and he's like, oh, wait, is that not the devil's own?

That's another film, yeah, yeah. Okay. But in that one, I watched that actually. That's Brad Pitt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's interesting, because that was in the 90s, okay, and it's very pro-IRA. Really? Yeah, it's very sympathetic. Like, he starts off with, like, Brad Pitt in the north all right? He's like, aye, he's fucking, uh, uh, what do you call him? English people?

That's a, I don't know much with history now. These fucking English people are... I'm fucking Israelis here over in Belfast. I'm sick of these Australians here. So it's like, you know, they kill his brother like that. And then he's in the IRA. He gets out of Belfast, send him over to America. And he's basically like, you know, getting guns for America for Belfast.

And like he's talking to businessmen trying to get money. Like, we got a lot of American money during the troubles. Like, they would do these fundraisers. You know, like Jerry and them be over. And it basically like, you know, know, like in Boston and stuff. Yeah, all that, you know, and he'd be like, who's going to help us kill British people?

I was like, me, me, you know. And that was even back with Devalera. Devalera would go around America. And even that's why, you know, like America's mentioned the fucking, you know, when they did in 1916, they mentioned our brothers in America and stuff. So all this, like, to flatter them to get the money.

I mean, because there's so, like, so many Irish, like, emigrated to America, so there's always, you know, like, we've always had like a very strong tie to that country political influence yeah yeah yeah and like he would go right he literally mean like um the fucking chicago red sox like their baseball stadium you know being like hey guys you gotta help me blow up the english and let's uh let's take a swing out of it and yes i will hit some dingers and we will defeat the british empire yeah much of alan rickman there like hey come on take me out to the ball

game. He doesn't know any about baseball. He's like, yeah, come on, let's win the All-Ireland. And of course,

we will win the baseball Sam McGuire Cup. Yeah, he's basically a mascot for years. Now, I think the rumor

was with Devil Era that a lot of the money didn't actually get back to Ireland. Yeah. A lot of it kind went to his pocket. And he bought

like some newspapers and stuff. For those fancy specs of his. Yeah. And I think he bought a newspaper as well. Speaking of baseball,

I heard Devalera was a bit of a switch hitter if you know what I mean? Yeah. Did you hear that? Yeah.

Oh, well, let's just say you did. Why not? I just wanted to do the switch hitter line. I don't know if he was secretly gay or not,

but you know. Paranel was, so fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, what was going to say? So in the devil's own... Anyone who wore glasses

back dead was gay. That's pretty much how it went. And even today, really, let's be honest. Oof. I was going to say now Yeah so he's sent over to America And he's just like getting business men

To give him money and stuff like that And even like the They use the whole kind of Irish thing They're like you know Hey Harrison Ford you're half Irish Can we can this Irish guy live with you? Sure yeah But Harrison Ford doesn't know that he's like

Yeah yeah he just thinks he's an Irish Like refugee basically Right okay He's like yeah sure Brad Pitt You can sleep in the basement there And there's in my three beautiful daughters you know

and uh you know they wouldn't have any interest in you yeah but don't don't Irish freedom fighter who looks like Brad Pitt look Brad Pitt I know it's hard for you to get the ladies but follow me okay

I'll help you out you know I'll teach you their ways of the Riz you know how is Brad Pitt's accent in the devil's own good good yeah not amazing but he's better accents than others

than Pierce Brosnan better than Tom Cruise all right he's good a traveler he's good at Nordy all right give him shit for the traveller and snatch but I thought he did a great job. And also, let's be honest, okay, is Guy Ritchie

isn't enough for subtlety. Yeah. So if he did a very nuanced traveler accent, okay, Guy Ritchie would like, what the fuck he did? What is that? It's meant to be comedic. And it is comedic. He's very funny. Yeah. And talented. And I'm fucking sick of this shit.

Sorry. Uh, get very passionate. Brad Pitt needs our help more than ever now. Him and all those goofball kids saying, oh, daddy beat me with the hoover. Shut up, cunt. You want to go back to where you came from, eh?

We'll send you to Belfast. So anyway, also it's weird about the devil's own film. It's like Harrison Ford is like a beat cop in that. Okay. He's not playing detective or anything. He's playing like, you know, I think the whole thing is he never got promoted. Right. So he's going around like, you know, fucking like with the uniform and all that.

Even though he's like, he's kind of, even at that stage in 90s, he looks. a little bit weird, just make him detective, you know? Yeah. Yeah, and he's just, like, chasing people who are stealing apples and stuff. Like, hey, come back here, you punk. You know? Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. And then, like, he just goes to the bar and hangs out, and then, like, I think the thing is, it gets pretty stupid then. I think, like, something goes wrong with an arms deal. I think they kidnapped Paris and Ford's kids

to get back at Brad Pitt. Right. And then Brad Pitt has to, like, betray Harrison Ford for the cause and I think Harris Ford has to shoot Brad Pitt but he does it like he's sad about it but Brad Pitt's like I understand what you're doing you know

Give my head peace Oh actually Back to the IRA real quick all right I want to watch Give My Head Peace The TV show But I have been listening to Give My Head Peace the podcast Okay So they have a podcast now Da

You know the guy who plays Da Right He's got a podcast It's very interesting. The whole kind of Belfast podcast scene is so interesting because, like, he has, like, the comedians that we'd know, all right? Like, was it Willie Thompson? Will Thompson?

Yeah, he has, like, Will Thompson and that, okay? But also have, like, politicians and stuff. He had, like, the head of the DUP. Wow. You know that guy? No. Called Gavin Robinson. He's a weird guy.

Okay, obviously DUP, kind of a weirdo, right? Yeah. Politicians in general. Yeah, but it's also, like, so the whole thing is he, the reason why he's the head of DUP is because Jeffrey Donaldson stepped down because of a child sex allegation which by the way he stepped down

it was like well that's the end of that chapter give my head pace no no you're going to jail sir the victims agreed that's enough punishment yeah yeah the fact they're no longer in the hell of DUP but still

probably getting a lot of money from them yeah yeah that's it I feel bad for him you know like that he's the real victim really So Jeffrey Donald stepped down This Gavin Robinson is over now Okay But on the podcast To give my head peace podcast

He's having the banter Really? It's kind of weird Like it's proper as like Ah yeah I can tell you Probably like Barry's tea Don't you

We like Thompson's tea What are you talking about Barry's is better than Thompson's tea What the fuck is Thompson's tea? I can tell Look at you Brody dog tea Look at you

He doesn't even know What Thompson's tea is I don't I feel bad for you Have you I've never even heard of Thompson's day? I haven't heard it either, yeah, yeah. Sounds disgusting. Jesus Christ. You drink it, you turn Protestant, like, straight away. Well, like, you know, RFK is on, and Donald Trump's on

Flakrit 2 and Theo Vaughn. That's what I mean, it's getting Americanized now. So it's going to be like, you know, should we have on? A politician would we have on? You know, make a ride of Symbian, you know, they have a bit of crack with her, you know, like, but it's so weird. Turn it up. I I can't fucking fail a pain. That's not as she talks, is it? No, she's from Dublin, yeah. Oh, shit. But, like, uh, yeah, they have them all, and he's talking about his life.

Oh, Jesus, whack up there, loads, so I can feel it, what? Oh, yeah, there we go now. This one goes up to 11, what? But the old spinal tap, Simeon says, oh, I do you. And I'm all jealous, like, I should be on the Simeon. It's not fair. She's hogging it. Uh, yeah, so.

She's getting her juices all over it. Oh, well. You're going to have to clean it, dog. P-U. So I have this Gavin, what's his name, Robinson on, okay? Weird guy, like I said. So he was a little kid, and he's like, I didn't know any of about politics at all.

And I went to America, and I was in New York, and I saw on TV, we were talking about Belfast. I thought, why are you talking about my hometown of Belfast? What's going on? What's happening in Belfast? It isn't happening anywhere else. So I thought, I should learn about politics. So I wrote a letter to Ian Paisley.

Just like, you know, he's a little kid, all right? I said, Ian, what party should join? And, you know, he didn't say Sinn Féin, ha, ha, ha, ha, you know. And so I was, I get into politics, but I also did other stuff as well. I was, I was the, I worked with stiff little finger. Oh, the bad. Yeah, yeah. But it was very, very funny story now.

So I said, I go on stage to announce them and say, this is stiff little fingers. Yeah. So it's finger, not fingers. I go, I'll give you a stiff little finger. I gave him middle finger I showed him and everyone laughed and said I was cool

Yeah He also said he used to be magician He used to be a Protestant magician At the Divis Flats Oh my God What the fuck Hey Watch me make these six countries

Disappear Like Al-A-Cazam Not to be real mean But he's a big fat lad He's a big fat lad He's got a top hat and a wand They're like hey Hello there

Knocking him Oh yeah He has to step over to dead soldiers and stuff. He's like, hey, hello there. He sat on the rabbit and killed it. He's a quite a large fellow now. I'm going to pull a rabbit out of the hat and a hair out of my arse. We're hey.

Something there, a little bit of fun there. You see your magician character, your Protestant magician character. But then he was like, they don't really talk about politics that much. It's kind of weird. It's like very banter heavy, all right? But the only thing. he's like and how are the

lads are just trying to have a bit of fun you know keep it light, keep it light so it's the guy who plays dad and some other guy I don't even know if he's in show or not

might just be like the guy's friend in real life all right but the bit where to bring up Brexit you know kind of kind of thing like oh Jesus

now you know you vote for Brexit you think that's a bit silly do you no I don't actually I don't think is any wrong when people voting how their future should be

like that okay right well what kind of crisps do you like do you like Tato do you yeah, well, Walker's crypts are better than tail, oh, you know, it's like back to that, right? And there's a bit where, I forget how it

lead into it, alright, but talk about like the future of the party, the DUP and all that, and this is very strange. The DUP knows. Oh, it's good, good. He's like, moving on. He's like, allegedly. I would like to distance myself from those comments.

I'm a proud DUP man. I love Thompson's team, me. But he's like, yeah, people talk about the future of the party. mentioned tolerance tolerance what does that mean tolerance

you'll tolerate something we don't like that now we don't want you to tolerate us this is our way of life now we don't believe in tolerance it's kind of a weird soundbite you know and they're like

ah yeah yeah so would you have watched give my head peace on the telly back in the day now oh yeah yeah would you I like it when you made fun to Catholics yeah I don't remember the show enough

like what was did they play it pure down the middle I think it was down the the middle, yeah. I think it was very, very down in the middle. So they have, like, a very cartoonish guy. Das, a bit of Jerry Adams type, you know. Yes, yeah, the beard and the gray hair. And then they have, like, you know, the kind of

unionist kind of caricatures as well. I need to watch more of it, like I said, yeah. Like, you see, give my headpiece and you just think of that savage eye sketch. Yeah. Stick it in a paw. Yeah. It's kind of ruined the whole show. They still do live shows and shit. Like, it's a real industry.

Oh, yeah, man. It's one of the few things in Northern Ireland. comes to like the television that's like that and the blame game or like the two things that like are consistently on and get like numbers and people don't hate yeah like people got a real soft spot it's kind of like you know that is a still game is it the scottish show okay you ever hear that vaguely yeah yeah that's another thing well it's kind of like us over here with like you know father 10's not a good example no killing the scuddies more like like like you know the hardy bucks for example young hardy books is a little bit too good and a little bit too young i think

literally is something like killing a scuddy, something like... Or even savage eye, I mean... No, no, no, again, like, I'm talking about, like, give my head peace and, like, still game. There are shows that, like, you can watch when you're a dumb kid with your granny and enjoy it. That's what I mean, it's like a kind of real family down the middle, nothing too controversial, not too satirical.

Right, I see. Like, still game is a Scottish show, right? But these two old men, and it's real, it's like, I... How do you do a Scottish accent? I do... No. Hello?

I'm from Glasgow. I do last. like it here. Yeah. I do not like Edinburgh people. I think they are scoff. Scotland?

It's like that. We got to go to the pub, yeah. Oh, you were in the pub yesterday. I got fucking pushed. No, it's not that crazy now. I was in the freaking pub. Right. I thought I saw, you did not leave.

I sleep under the table. You know, that's something funnier than that, you know. Or like, I guess only fills in horses would be a type show. Just like, yeah. You can watch it. I think Father Ted's the equipment, you know, it's a pretty... Father Ted, yeah, but the thing is, like, Father Ted's got, like, real universal appeal.

Yeah. Like, Sheenade O'Connor and Bono used to watch that. Together. Yeah. It's the only time you get them to shut the fuck up. Ah, the starving children and I. Give it a rest, pal, will you? Yeah. Do you bring this up when you're on the Epstein plane?

You fucking scumbag. He is a scumbag. Yeah, he is. Bono's a real scumbag. He's actually his books in the library. I might get it to see what it's like. It's called No Surrender. It's about the...

But, yeah, I'll do it for the podcast. I'll read Bono's book for you guys, all right? He won't do that. Don't think he'll do it because he most certainly will not. Oh, listen to the sample and audible. I'm like, yeah, I got enough of it there. He was born in Dublin, actually.

You know that? His real name's Paul, I think, isn't it? I wouldn't even know, man, yeah. His goofball kids, one's a musician, the other's an actor. Yeah, inhaler, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not very good. Oh, is it not, no.

Well, I'm not a, you know, I don't really like that kind of young, pretty boy, music, you know. That's your fault, man. Is it? We should go see Inhaler together. Nah. That'll be cool.

And I'll bring a bag of glue and inhale it. I'm selling merch. I'm selling bags of glue. Come on, inhale her. Yeah. What was going to talk about? Wait, let me check my notes there. There's something good I was going to.

Oh, yeah. Have you heard about the Jim Davison news? I'll go around sniffing women. It's like, oh, I thought I could inhale her. Ah, ah. Come on. No. Get your hands off of me

Where's Bono? Me old mucker Bono Who's... What's... Hey, I'm close to the edge. So don't push me. I'm edging. Yeah.

Adam Clayton. So what's the Jim Davidson news? Oh, have you not heard about Jim Davidson news? So Jim Davidson has blown the lid off the Keir Starmer story, okay? I got emphasised.

This is all alleged, by the way. I don't want to get sued or anything, all right? But hey, look, who cares? What are you going to do? take away my Doctor Who books I really hope don't do that

oh they're probably no they're very valuable James yeah some of them would go up to like five euro on eBay

alright yeah exactly how many how many doctor who books do you have not enough okay

I want to get like the rare books right there's some books are like about two grand about maybe

about two million or so why'd you get like a framed Doctor Who poster and put it up on the wall but I don't know which one would I get

there's so many doctors get them all and I'll take a big dump in my hand and smear it like it's a just stop oil protest it's a dirty protest

yeah yeah exactly what our day will come I was thinking and getting action figures of all the doctors and putting them all around the place so they're staring at me all the time yeah apart from the woman one

no and the new one keep her in the kitchen oh lads lads lads don't say I'm going to stop the podcast on the Patrick Brigade Keep talking for a second

Talk with Jim Davidson Jim Davidson A wonderful man A wonderful talent Brian's a big fan of him Brian loves Jim Davidson Roy Chubby Brown Bernard Manning

And Nick Clegg For some reason I'm not sure why But no Jim Davidson He's like kind of an alt-right Is he alt-right I suppose he is

At this stage yeah Yeah But he's got his own What's his He's got his own platform I think it's called Jim Davidson TV Okay

Yeah, which is very, very funny. That's basically going to be us in a few years, you know. It's like... I think we're going to be on Jim Davidson TV. I wish. Oh, so, man, yeah. Wasn't he interviewing Joe Pascuali's son, who's got, like, he's like a schizophrenic or something?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I can't remember now. Sorry, I'm going too deep in my Jim Davidson lower. Yeah, I wouldn't know much about him now, but I subscribe to the Jim Davidson TV now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like life from the compound with the English version, you know?

Anyway, look, so Jim Davison's in the news there on TikTok It's not even being picked up by the mainstream media But like Oh, surprise, surprise He did it He was joking about Keir Stammer having affairs and stuff

Right Apparently there's a video going around Of Keir Stammer kissing some woman Okay All right, so he made a joke about that And it's been like Just slap orders and stuff You know, it's being like

Quieted down And then there's all these guys on TikTok Because TikTok is terrible for like Finding anything or like TikTok is great for It'll just say something like you know, you won't suggest in TikTok, you know, what's a random example?

Like, you know, yeah, chubby brown allegations. You'd be like, what's that? Yeah. And you press into it and there's nothing about it at all. Yeah, yeah, exactly, you know? So this one is like, here, Starmor accusation, like, oh, what is it? Okay.

And you go on to it. And this is a bunch of lads, like, just their head be like, oh, you're all about the allegations, it's mad. I can't say what it is, but oh my God, it's mad. Yeah, it's a lot of it's like,

if this turns out to be true, she's going to change everything. You better batten down the ashes lads because it is about to go off. Stay tuned. It's like he didn't say anything. A storm is calming. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Or you get so

many by the way of like, I was molested by someone. Can't say who. Well, feel free to speculate in the comments and like little clues. You know, I'll just say he was on telly. Mm-hmm. Look about that. let's just say it was a not so famous

podcaster who loves Doctor Who and pot noodle who could it be I haven't seen you eat pot noodle in a while I stopped Why? You shamed me It's nothing wrong I had to put it all in the bin

Like a drug addict you know I had some pot noodle hidden the toilet What of the cistern You're like knocking at the door Brian come out I'm flushing at you. I got pot noodle in my hair. Garrett, we needed that pot noodle, Jared.

They were going to fight. They never want to found it. Oh, my God. Oh, God. We're fucking rolling. This was the bad time. This is when I know everything was gone to shit. I'm rubbing pot noodle in my teeth.

You're actually out of the pot and noodle in ages now Maybe I should, yeah Yeah, man, have a little treat for yourself I kind of lost, I kind of fell out in love with them Be honest with you, yeah After five years Yeah I started to, you know

You know what's funny about pot noodle Is that they all have different flavors But they don't taste different at all Yeah, yeah, yeah But anyway Jim Davidson Oh yeah, so this Kier Starmard thing But like man, the amount of people online

That like, on TikTok It's just constant just like I was molested by this guy won't say who yeah oh i heard about this thing can't tell you what it was though yeah sometimes like i heard a story that's it yeah oh i enjoyed hearing it now yeah if you could hear it oh you'd enjoy it as well uh you see catron parkinson what's her name catchin ryan sorry oh yeah the new thing she said no she was saying she was doing a gig a few years ago and it was her and a really big comedian who wasn't british who wasn't british yeah and this isn't this

Okay. So that narrows it down, okay? So a big comedian, wasn't British, right? Real big, mega popular. And it was her and one other girl in the lineup. The other girl was much younger than her, right? Wouldn't be hard, love. Sorry.

It was a few years ago, right? I think you're clever, don't you? Yeah, so I do. Knock her down a peg, yeah. That's for brand. Yeah, yeah. Disrespecting him. But anyway, so the guy, okay, comes in with posse,

and he's just like, you know, hey how you getting you know how you doing baby you know cool cool you're on this tonight oh it's awesome hey look at this and just shows her a video him fucking some girl it's like look how I fuck wow look at that look at that I'm slapping her cheeks and the girl's all like crying and shit you know all upset you know the girl in the video no no no no like the girl's kind of oh why you're showing this to me is like hey what's your fuck your problem this is comedy all right yo baby this is the hang in the green room this is how we get down this is what we do all right And then she was a bit upset

and then Captain Ryan had to like calm her down afterwards Who do you think that could be? Let's speculate wildly Okay Hmm Just could get me in trouble Paul Provenza

Yeah Well Simefam Yeah What is how fuck She's 17 What's wrong Gerebe, come on

I'm making those cheeks clap It's him fucking Jason Alexander It's fucking George He's getting upset George is getting upset The summer of George Yeah, I don't know Like the fact that he came in with a

Posse Yeah It's probably Yeah I knew you got some kind of racial connotation Yeah, yeah He sounds like a criminal A posse

Yeah Did anyone speculate A gang A street gang I wasn't got a I don't know But like Typically, you know

It could be Dinkuk You know Maybe I don't know I don't think he really has a posse. No, he can't afford a posse. He's got one bum to follow him around you. Like a fucking, like he's a cat, like a caddy and happy Gilmore about just some smelly hobo.

Well, I don't know. When he was Norm McDonald's, that'd be funny. Yeah, look at this. Hey, look at that. Big on the cheeks clap there. Pretty good. It's Adam Eaget. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's like, is anyone speculated as to who it might be or. Are there any... Of course, yeah. Everything you can think of, every comedian think of, in the comments section, yeah. Well, because here's the thing. Like, she pretty much only does comedy in Britain. Yeah.

So, like, she... I sound like she's on a lineup with, like, Chappelle or fucking, like, Shane Gillis or any... No, no. Probably, look, I don't know. Like, some kind of big American... We assume American. Could be Scottish, could be Irish, you know? Could be Canadian.

Yeah. Mike Myers. Dary O'Brien, who's... that's your guess then, is it? You actually, yeah, yeah. Brian, you heard it there? Adopted, you know that? Darryan. Yeah, adopted. Very dark people, the adopted.

They never get over that initial abandonment from the mother, so they're sick in the mind. This is going to sound... What's wrong about that? They're sick people that can't be trusted. Sick, twisted, fucks. This is going to sound really bad and racist, but I promise you, it's not, all right, okay?

But Pete Buttigieg was... on Andrew Shultz's podcast, all right? Right. And he was talking about adopting a child because he's gay, right? Yeah. He's gay with his husband, all right? That's the best person to be gay with. We don't want to be gay with your wife. She'd ruin it.

With her pussy. But he was saying that, like, they're adopting a baby and it's actually way cheaper to get a black baby than a white baby. Like, there's like a black baby discount, you know? Wow. Yeah, that's what he was saying, yeah? Black Friday.

Goddain. Yeah, it's pretty bad, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But, like, also, you see some celebrities that will adopt, like, fucking 12 kids. Yeah. Like, that is mental.

What's going on there? Well, for them, it's not really being a parent. You're basically, it's like owning a basketball team, really. You're just going to get 12 them in, all right? Then you hire some nanny to be the coach, like, actually, like, look after them, wiped their arse and that. Yeah.

And you kind of like, oh, hello, babies. I'm off to film. you know the new Avengers movie goodbye and you fuck off expendables five gotta be pretty good you don't understand kids

this is way more important I get to act with Jason Statham and we might have Kelsey Grammer back who knows you know probably not though we can't afford him you know like it's

like me of Farrow had like 17 kids adopted and like five of them are dead literally what happened to him suicide and overdoses like a lot of suicides and overdoses. Did you blame Woody, did she?

No, no, no. I had nothing to do with that. I swear to God, you know. I'm here doing the expendables five, you know. I think I've been miscast, though. I gotta say. Oh, oh gosh, do you guys really have to fire off those guns? They're so loud.

I have a migraine, you know. I need an Advil the size of a hockey park. Oh, my God. Oh, who's this little skinny geyser? Excuse me, I'm not a geyser, okay? Who is this Dickensian nightmare? I don't know. That's very good.

Yeah, yeah. We really became the character there. Thank you. Actually, you've got Woody Allen's book over there. Apropos of nothing. You got Woody Allen and Jordan Peterson over there. I think I'm going to read both of them. Why are you got a public out blast like that?

I got the George and Peterson book years ago when I never read it. But it's just there. Did someone buy that for you? No, but my brother did buy me the Woody Allen book for Christmas. That's good. That's good, yeah. You know what? I made fun of you for having a book, right? Yeah.

Can I tell you something? All your books are Doctor Who are comic books, and I'm the asshole. Fuck you. I was going to reveal something to you there, yeah. I was just saying, like, my mother bought me a self-help book there. Really? Yeah, she did, yeah. I was shooting a bin, you know?

It's something like achieving, I didn't even read the title. I was so disgusted by it, yeah. Something like, it. Achieving what you can achieve. Why does she think you need a self-help book? I don't know. So, in Reese, so she's giving you a self-help book, a toy doll, and a big Easter egg. Yeah, and she bought me, you know what?

Do you know Sean O'Brien, the rugby player? No. Okay, he rugby player from Carrel, okay? She's bought me his book twice now. He's buying me, Sean O'Brien book. Hope that, y'all. Yeah. Maybe he'll become a 30-year-old rugby player.

We're in your prime, Brian. You know, what's that film at Mark Wahlberg where he's like... Invincible? Invincible, yeah, the Carlow version of that, you know. We have open tryouts to play against England, okay? Tomorrow. For the under 10s.

Yeah. I have to sneak in, you know? I pretend to be a 10-year-old girl. Oh, let's hit the showers. Well, yeah, the Oriolabuck, I didn't finish it, though, but it's, you know, it's very funny. and witty and look I just I admire his writing I want to read more of his books yeah yeah I'll read him at some stage um but I think I haven't got to it yet but I

think he pretty much glosses over as like and then there was some unpleasantness but then I did uh match point small time crooks with Michael Rappaport oh what a wacky guy he introduced me to the Wootang claim yeah um Apparently Rappaport was popping off about kneecap. Of course he was, yeah. These douche bag fucks, that's right, I said it. These douche-nazzle fuck sticks. Yo, if I see these kneecap loses, it's on sight, bro.

I'm a fuck them up. It's funny if Neacap, we're like, we're very sorry, Mr. Rappaport. We actually love Israel. We're sorry. And we want more Brits in the country. We realize the error of our ways. We love your work in Boston public. Absolutely fantastic.

seminal piece of television drama when you played the bar man in Sully that was amazing I didn't see Sully I watched it for him yeah I watched it twice could I be honest with you I did go through a Michael Rappaport phase I liked Michael Rappaport phase

I liked Michael Rappaport no but I mean like literally I was talking like him I listened to his podcast every day supported Israel I watch all the movies I'd edit everyone else out apart from him you know like true romance yeah I just watch his parts

I just mute everyone else You know, that fucking gay speech about fucking, you know, what are they called again? The Italians, the Black Italian. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all that, that shit speech. The Moors of Sicily. Yeah, I was like, where's Michael Rappaport? Yeah.

So I loved him. No, it's funny, actually, if it was Michael Rappaport in that scene instead of Christopher Walker, and it's like, wait, you saying that I'm a boop? Yo, thanks, dog. That's my walking here my whole life, man. So I can say it, yeah. Ah, yes. Another thing.

The Moors conquered Sicily, and the Moors were a Rappapos. Who's this guy telling me I'm a Rappaport? I can't Rappaport my head around it. This is crazy. I am not a Rappaport. Do not call me that. Before we go, all right, it's real quick. To get a bit more sensible, right?

We got time. I'm doing my, I was doing a whole thing there. I know. I appreciate that. I respect it. Yeah, yeah. Well, tell your face. Okay, like, so we finished

Downton Abbey. I've never seen a single second of Downton Abbey. Good. You couldn't handle the pal. No, no. Where's Michael Rappaport? Just an uncouth American man is here to teach us about tribe called quest. Oh, but I must say he's a rather interesting fellow. Him and his homies.

They wish to run a train upon me. I have never in my life encountered such bestiality. So we started a new show Victoria. And I never heard about it. It was interesting in it because Victoria is an ITV drama. It's like their version of the Crown or

Downton Abbey. It's young Victoria. Queen Victoria. Right. So set in 18, wherever the fuck, all right? Yeah. Or maybe, I don't even know. I'm not good at time, all right? Yeah, it's the 60s. Yeah. So set in the 90s, all right, yeah. Victoria's wearing

about Y2K, all right? She's listened to Nirvana, you know, he's wearing a flannel shirt. So it's, I didn't,

smells like queen spirit. Oh, that should be, yeah, what's that? Yeah, that's great. Boom, that's great.

Boom, boom. Yeah. We need to use that somehow. One after the other. Message every woman you know and tell her like, use that.

Yeah. That can be good Edinburgh show. Yeah. Edie McQueen Spirit There you go Smells like McQueen Spirit That's oh yeah That's great

Yeah That's copyrighted She wants to use it She'll have to pay me Lots of money It doesn't have to do any Female comedian No

I can't think of any other ones Smells like Catherine Ryan's spirit There we go Yeah It's not as good actually Yeah But anyway

So it's young It smells like Rosie Jones Spirit Well My word What What a scent it must be

She's not smelly James You I didn't Even imply Oh no If that's where your mind went Don't project on to me sir I have absolved of any guilt

This is a Patreon episode okay So Victoria Victoria So it starts off She's 18 years old All right And they basically tell

And I don't really understand this So she's from a German family And the king dies The king's her uncle Okay But it's something I need to do Didn't really go into Great detail in the first episode

I need to do more research So Is this like based on This is true all true Okay So like they were like the There's German heritage Yeah

Yeah. So she's English. I think she speaks English, obviously, with English accent. But, like, she's got, like, you know, her family are German. Okay. And the king, I think, didn't have, like, he had male heirs, but I think they're all either useless or, like, there's something wrong with them or...

Okay. I don't know exactly what is. Or maybe it's like, they're just too rowdy or just fucking stupid or whatever like that, or too black or whatever like that, you know. A bit of a Thomas Jefferson situation, maybe. Wow. But anyway, so, like, he died. and she becomes a new queen

all right and for some reason well no one really likes the fact that she's like you know 18 year old they're trying to like you know oh queen miss your majesty all I'll run the country

don't worry you can you play with your dolls whatever you do you know whatever women do you know you'll knit play with puppies and all do the boring business of running the country and having all that power

oh you wouldn't like that the power do her I want to kill and, oh, I could have any woman I want. You know, you wouldn't. So, like, everyone's trying to, like, out to take the power from her, right? Yeah. And then the prime minister's there as well. And the prime minister is favorable to the royal family.

You know, he, you know, visits the queen or king every month or like that. Still do that today, you know. All right. So he's kind of like, oh, I'll help you kind of navigate the world of politics. You know, you have to be very two-faced, you know, tell you know, what he likes what, what's his weakness, what's her weakness, you know? Right, right. So it's like them kind of navigate. in the world

and before her actual coronation there's this scandal which I didn't again the show I only watched one episode with pilot I didn't get a good sense of why it's such a scandal but I'll tell you what it is all right

so basically there's someone in her kind of like world I don't know exactly I don't think she's related to her let's call it Fiona all right so Fiona I think she's like married to someone

in the British Parliament or something like that Okay, and she's kind of got a belly on her, all right? And she's unwed, all right? Is she pregnant? Well, the Queen thinks she's pregnant, and thinks she's been having it off with this guy who's married, all right? Who's like a politician or something.

Again, I didn't really, I was half paying attention, half reading the Batman comic. I'll be honest with you, all right? You know, this is how I learned history, right? And then Batman shot, more tea, your majesty? Commissioner Gordon shined the Queen Victoria light in the sky, because she had to defeat two feet. Queen Victoria the riddler

is up to his old tricks again so she is like oh I think you're pregnant with his baby she's like no no she's like

well I want to have the queen's physician to examine you you know and she's like no yes I will oh god

so then the examiner and turns out she's got like a big tumour in her belly oh shit yeah okay so they're like

oh shit you got a massive tumour I never didn't think I thought they were joking. I thought she was lying or something like that. But yeah, so she has a tumour. She's dying from this belly tumour, right? Jesus.

And they're all like, you know, and you ruined her reputation by claiming that she was married out of wedlock. You terrible woman, you drove her to debt, you know? Not also the tumour as well, but it's mostly your fault, your majesty. Yeah. And then the press get hold of it, right? And the press are like, queen accuses innocent woman of having, you know, mean a slut essentially

tumour slut Queen accuses innocent woman of being brat a brat's long over no brat is back I'm bringing brat back I just understood

what brat is so I want to bring it back now that's you when you're hanging out in the teen discos isn't that yes

yeah I hear you kids are pretty keen on that group Hanson mbap da da da da

And I'm there with you, like, hey, I've got some Beyblades if you're interested. Come on. Who wants to play Pokemon Go to the back of my van? More like, Gayblade, motherfucker. How about you Pokemon Go? Fuck yourself. Who is that? I don't, these aren't the teen discos I remember when I was a lad.

So it's it. Yeah, so then like, she's getting her coronation. People are like, shame, shame. Why did the Fiona? The people's princess. You know, all that kind of shy, all right? But then at the end, it's like, well, I'm queen anyway, so fuck them. Not exactly that, but he's kind of like, you know, well, some people might hate me.

Some people might like me. But that's all part of being the queen. Yeah. And I am the queen. Oh, I didn't mention as well. They're all like, what name will you pick Miss? You can't be Queen Victoria. That doesn't sound right.

You should be Queen Elizabeth II or something. She's like, no, I'm going Queen Victoria. Oh. Well, the Queen says it. And then at the end. Okay, powerful stuff I wasn't really I wasn't really that amazed by you now

It's got Jenna Coleman in it Who's very good She was she was in Doctor Who Of course she was She was also in Sandman I don't know what that is Sandman the Neil Gaiman show Oh Neil Gaiman

Which they've stopped for some reason No yeah They don't want to make that man Everyone just decided I probably Probably just call it quits Yeah it's weird Because they stopped that show

They're going to make a movie Based on the Graveyard Book Which is the graveyard book's basically the jungle book, but instead of animals as ghosts. Okay. So, kids raised by ghosts, you know? Yeah, pretty fun concept. Do we make a movie about that and just stop that as well for some reason? And also

remember, you know, Good Omans, TV show? No. With David Tennant and Michael Sheen? Nope. Oh, well, they decided to stop that as well. Nobody remembers that, Brian. And they cancelled Middiquist. Oh, I did hear about that. I think that was related to Neil Gaiman. No, but... You hear about the thing with the ending?

No. Did the patch. Quest was shite. I watched the first season. Dog shit. Oh, yeah. You didn't understand it. What's the understand? I didn't watch any of it. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know how it ended? No. So basically, they aired, they had the last episode on streaming,

all right? Right. And then they found out it was cancelled. So what they did is they filmed a new scene and stuck that onto the end of the episode. Wow. So now you can't watch your original ending. If you go on, like, what's it on? Like Amazon or, no, it's Apple. So if you go on Apple now, they've done like,

George Lucas on it you can only watch the extended episode yeah so what did they do just like hey everyone let's go on a road trip to Alcapoco oh no the car crashed we're all dead they have a Rob making any look up from the

diner you know get shot no it actually ends I think there's like I don't know like any of the characters right so it's that Rob guy it's Mac all right I think it's Mac and some girl who's a love interest in it the will they won't do and they originally ended with them being like what do you want to do now I don't know or something like that

But then the new ending is like You know what I actually do love you the whole time Let's get married and have kids The end kiss Right Yeah good Yeah I don't know

Pretty romantic isn't it Well I would say Yeah Rob McElennie It was weird He kind of His whole thing He was meant to do the Minecraft movie

Really? Yeah Why did he not Creative differences Oh Okay We'll want the McPoyle brothers In the Minecraft movie

Yeah Maybe he wants to make it too funny or hysterical They want to really like Minecraft made so much money Yeah who actually ended up doing it again Jared Hess he did Who did Napoleon Dynamo yeah That's crazy

Good for him isn't it Yeah fair play That's a turnaround now Now he has a blank check He can do every once now Gentleman Broncos 2 Oh yeah yeah I hope to the Gentleman Broncos

Reference in MindCrum I've never seen Gentleman Broncos Oh I haven't seen either I just I just think the name's funny Napoleon Dynamite's very good, though it holds up. I may watch it again. I watched it a while ago in a guy's house, and I wasn't very happy at the time.

It was a weird situation. It was me and a friend, okay? And we had a drug dealer, and the drug dealer invited us to his house, all right? Is this a Dundalk? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know that guy. Yeah, and then, like, no, I don't think you do.

The dealer? Well, it's got us afterwards, all right? But it was funny, so he came over, me and my friend, all right? And we went to his house. It's kind of a shitty house middle of nowhere. where we had to drive there so I can't drink alright Oh no, it's a different guy

There was no alcohol being served And he made some like kind of shitty food And he stuck on Napoleon dynamite all right And he made, I forget what he made now, it was like something like Is there, were he's buying stuff like? No, no he's just like we should hang out sometime Oh God

We should be friends Depressing Yeah So like we went there I think he made like mince But it was like kind of dry or something It wasn't like good mints You know

And then we're watching Napoleon maybe like the fake mints no no no I know no corn no no this is like just bad badly done you know and yeah we're just going to eat in it and then he gets a call

he was like oh my friend got in trouble there he like beat a Chinese man half the debt he went up to Dublin just beat a Chinese guy uh he was more like can you believe that like he's like done for not paying your TV license can leave that fucking if it's not one thing it's the other

I don't know the guarantee to be focusing on the real stuff It's really turned into a nanny stage, isn't it? He just can't do anything. Yeah, yeah. Can't park your car at night or beat up a homeless man or rape a Chinese woman, you know? I didn't, he didn't say that. Wow, you know.

Actually, speaking of Chinese, I've told you this in the podcast for, I think, but I was just laughing this recently. When I was back in Dundalk, all right, there was a mature student. This is going to be mean, but fuck it, right? He was a bit of a creep. There's a mature student, all right? Kind of an older fella, all right? kind of white hair, you know, kind of large, kind of bad skin, all right? Right.

And he kind of kept himself to himself, all right? Sure. But he loved the Asian girls. So there was three Asian girls there didn't much English, all right? Right. He was like, we should help them out, you know. Nobody know, they're probably scared, you know. I'll got to calm them down, you know.

They're scared. They're in a new country, you know. They can't speak English very well. I'll help them, you know. So I'd always be giving them pencils and stuff, you know, helping them out, you know. And so like that. And he'd like bring him over to the house and stuff. What?

Yeah, these guys These girls were like, you know, like 20, whatever that, and he's like 46 or whatever like that, you know. Were they like... They were proper like, what's happening? Like foreign exchange? Yeah, right, right.

And he brought them over to the house and stuff like that and they didn't have a bat. So he was like, everyone on a bat or anything. Come to my God. Are you serious? Yeah, come to my house, you know. A Dundalk man will treat you right, you know? The water is very expensive.

You'll have to, you'll not have to get in your bath together. Oh Jesus and you nearly forgot myself I was meant to, oh so you know scrub a dump dumb everybody in the tomb. And he also brought the girls over Christmas and stuff. Like he'd have them for like

dinner. What the fuck? I didn't why didn't you allow this to happen? Why did nobody intervene? I thought he was cool. This guy's got the race. Oh my God. Yeah, he'd have them over all the time. He'd make dinner for them and stuff, bring him over I mean, right, okay

And these girls are proper like, you know, you know, where am I, you know, they're like real young and scared, you know, he's like, oh, take you under me wing, don't worry, yeah, do you ever go to Brubeckers, did you? Come on, come on, now, we're going to Redley, so I are. Oh, hell now, I bringin the three Chinese girls

to Redley's, oh, to be great, so it well, yeah, he was a bit of a creep now, you know. Legend. I always bit like, you know, Jesus, because he's a mature student, And I was like, you know, matured, I was like, you know, 24 or something like that in the class. You know, it's like, I'm more like him than I like to admit. I need a, how did he figure out how to get all three of them at once, you know? This guy's got skills, yeah.

He's like Jared Letto, man. He just got this cult of like, this harum of girls. Chinese babes. Oh, he he he he, he, he. Peanies so big. Oh, here, no, that's over here, it's not very big. But when we are from, it's probably. Mas. That's not true.

What? Asian lads have nice cocks. I mean, hey. Really? Yeah, it's a big stereotype. I spent ages online looking at Asian cocks. When I was in that bat house, that gay bat house, a lot of Asian guys walk around big cocks, all right? And all the white and black guys were all like, you know, we were together

we were like, oh God. Yeah. Yeah. Me and this big black guy called, Omar, we were both crying in the corner. Because Shang Chi was was walking around his cock out, you know? Yeah, yeah. Black and white together.

Finally, yeah. And then, yeah, we had a bat together as well. That's good. And the Dodd Dogfellow was out. There, no. You know, I once had three Chinese in a bath, but oh my God, no. With the Toy Yi and meself here,

it's like a knee apollip and ice cream, huh? What else? You bring back memories there. Like, yeah, I had great times there. so many weirdos and all that and uh but i was above all that yeah yeah this was in your event management

course yeah yeah just looking back at like that shitty place i lived in where like there was always like twos of letters all over the kitchen being like you know you cannot get your child back you know stuff like that all right was that to the what was the name terro no no different that's different house oh wow i lived in so many shit houses yeah man every house you lived in was a new ken loach film fucking Mike Lee

No one time I walked into one place Okay And there was a girl like Basically ODing In the kid In the living room The guy was like

Giving her like Mouth to Mountain stuff Yeah I was just go I went upstairs Much better call Saul And then I went to the other house Okay

And it was like you know A guy passing out And like you know Shit in the shower Literally like human shit In the shower All right And then I went to another house

It was an Asian guy The worst of all He was actually cool Yeah he was ripped man he's that guy is seriously fucking eight pack he's got the V you know the V point of your cock you know cool guy actually I don't talk to him anymore as I moved into that place then COVID hit like three days later

yeah it's funny you were doing an event management course during COVID yeah yeah these don't exist anymore events are a thing of the past yeah yeah it's like stunning phrenology you know just like this isn't a thing anymore it's coming back Yeah. Where are we at their time? Oh, we're over the hour.

Oh, are we? Oh, yeah. 105. Oh, that's great, yeah. Well, it's got, I had our notes there, but I'm not, I'm not arced. What are we, just real, um, I actually, I'll be honestly, I'm going to, I feel bad now. I actually downloads the Tucker Carlson, Connor McGregor interview. Oh, shit.

Oh, I didn't bother listening to it. It's just, I can't be arced now. You see that bit where he's talking about, uh, driving laws? No. He says that, you know, the, you know, like, the drink driving laws are really tough now. They're really extreme. and, like, they get you for, like, speeding and all that. Yeah.

And that causes male suicide. There's an epidemic of male suicide because you're not allowed, you know. To drink drive. Yeah. And you're not allowed to go, you know, drive your sports car really fast in the waterway, the wrong way. Let him cook. Hang on, no, this is. So, if he were president, we could drink drive and do 150 on the M50.

Yeah, could drink drive, you know, immigrants telling you to stop. sign me up brother I'm ready no deliveroo drivers in the way yeah I didn't listen to Tucker and McGregor it just would be insufferable I never liked McGregor

back when you know he was the toast of the town I'm not into the UFC and I found him to be very kind of arrogant like I get it like some of the like combats and stuff

that he would say other fighters would be funny but then it just became more and more evident that you know he's the scumbag and then it's a long slow decline inevitably a sex pest sex criminals so

allegedly yeah no actually no no not allegedly Ryan he was that's why they said to him as he was coming out the court it's like hey Connor you're a rapist yeah oh I also real quick I listen to a podcast you're talking about like different celebrities this is all very alleged by the way but they're all

talking about like you know apparently Matt Lucas used to like find these young twinks with bad teeth and you'd be like I'll send you turkey to fix your teeth if you suck me off you and stuff like that It's pretty expensive. Yeah, I mean, like, it's pretty expensive fix Twink's teat, you know? Yeah.

Especially when I'm done with them, you know? So, like, I think there's not wrong with that, you know. It's like a piece of power maybe. But, like, you know, they're getting good teat. They're getting to suck off, you know, Andy. You know, he's got alopecia, so you're not going to get any pubs in your mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do people alopecia have no pubs?

They have no hair anywhere. Oh, it talks it's in their head. No, no, no, no, they have no hair at all. Even their butt hole. I'm pretty sure, yeah. I won't say... I've never inspected the asshole of an allocation. You haven't lived.

No. Oh, real quick, actually. I won't say his name, but a comedian who was over here, right? And I was chatting to him and he was like, dude, I just fucked this chick. I didn't start a conversation, by the way. I was just like, you know, like,

oh, it's a lovely night, isn't it? Dude, I fuck this chick. And he showed me a picture of this girl. I was like, oh, yeah, okay. He's like, hairy asshole. Real hairy asshole. Now you know he likes to eat ass. But I was just like

No, you don't know that Well, you know How else would it? You wouldn't be getting up close With the assholes You don't, it might be so hairy You don't have to see It could be like

Bigfoot's arse What? Yeah Bitch got a fucking 70s Fro out of her asshole Fucking hell Oh look We'll end it there

A lot Big fucking head of lettuce What time is it? I don't know We'll check the time 10 to 5 Oh my God I've no time at all

I was being Dublin For 10 to 5 Yeah five, six, seven. Okay, I'm all right. Brad, would you fucking relax? Oh no, I might be late to the open. It gives a fuck,

God. Sorry for caring about my career and for helping other people. I kind of, I sort of quit comedy, I think. No, you haven't. No, you haven't. Nobody wants me anymore. You got to get out there, I tell you. No. You got to... No, they don't want me.

It's fine. You got a show the face. Do cheeky monkey. No, I've not been saying yes to gigs because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be getting surgery on my head soon. Oh, right. When? I'm not sure. I have to go back to the hospital

in May, but yeah. How will this affect the podcast? I might not be able to do it for a couple of weeks, but I'll let you know. Okay. But you're going to get some people to sub in, you know? Who could you get? Nope. Who did you get? No, I refuse. Okay. Wouldn't be the same. That's good of you. We'll just pause it till you

come back. Would you do a solo cast? No. The Brian Hume Toul show? Yeah. I refused to have with Doctor Who on it. Yeah, yeah When you're gone I can talk about David Ike and stuff

you know James wouldn't like any of this Space lizards did 9-11 I didn't know lizards were yarmacus

very interesting I can break out my impressions you know ooh I'm Christopher walking oh right that'll be fun

now I don't know we'll happen we can do an episode from the hospital Yeah. I have to go do a, I'm doing a stag. I have to go in a stag as well. But that might not happen if I'm getting cut open. I'm not, I just be honest, I don't know. It's all very up in the air. So that's why I'm kind of, I'm not going to like start looking for gigs that I'll eventually have to like cancel. Because if I do have the surgery, I'll have to be off for like a few weeks. Yeah, yeah. So, you know. Well, this might be good for you. You heck? Yeah. Yeah. A little break. You get your stuff done surgery. Although I have been told because this is. is like, so I've had surgery three times

on my ear. Because they're going in for a fourth, because there've been so many, I've been cut open so many times, every time they cut you back open, there's an increased risk of severing your facial nerves causing facial paralysis or brain leakage, which I don't think is a good thing. What's that the fuck? I think when your brain leaks, that's probably bad.

I mean, you don't really want any part of you to start leaking, but if it's the brain that's that's trouble I would reckon yeah so yeah I could be dead within a year Brian is basically what they're telling me no no a guy like you wouldn't die so yeah do you feel bad now but not giving me the gigs yeah yeah he's gonna oh yeah oh he can't trust can't he might say something rude on stage yeah and then you know what do that benefit gig all right yeah I get none the money yeah do the James can't benefit gig and I don't get booked for it I just come out like fucking Richard

Pryor I'm like you oh be in here yeah everyone claps you so brave you know you piss yourself you know they're like oh he's trying his best

and I'm like I piss myself as well no one claps for me fucking bullshit no I'm sure I'll be fine but we'll see I'll see well I really lean into it you know Like if you do get proper fucked up So you can't like walk or like talk right and that

Yeah That would be cool You know Boy, you know That means like a Twilies on episode You make fun of Rosie Jones all the time Like I look at a bitch Yeah

And then you end up like Rosie Jones Yeah And then she's taking the piss out of me Have you seen this retard How dare you're Rosie You just have a bit of a crooked eye No, that's all You should be punching up

Anyway Anyway So, look, it's all fine. There's some great stuff on the horizon, I think. Tell you, what, I'm going to put on some Doctor Who for you. Maybe that's the key. Yeah, I'll put on some Capaldi, Doctor Who. That's what I've been missing.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, watch a good episode. Watch this episode. He punches a racist. It's real cool. Okay. Yeah, yeah, maybe you'll teach you a lesson.

No. Yeah. Never be around Peter Capaldi. Before we go, before we go, anything we want to talk about next week. Because I'll tell you, next week, I'll drop the ball this week because the Wi-Fi issue. So I'm going to make up for you guys. Don't worry.

I'm going to watch more Daredevil. Yeah. I'm going to, um, what could I watch now? I want to watch a film called Live from Baghdad. You ever heard of that? Oh, what's that? It's an Airy 2000s HBO film with Helen Le Bonacarter and Michael Keaton. Okay.

And it's about when the war in Baghdad kicked off, like in 90s. Oh, yeah. CNN were the only people there. It was the only news operation there, okay? Right. And they were the only 24-hour news. At the time. the time yeah so it's all about them being like let's just go straight straight to the war

and no editing or anything where basically is going to be showing live wow yeah that sounds pretty uh well i think in the movie it's like god they were awesome weren't they oh look at them they showed when civilians got shot what's this new movie warfare people are talking about i heard it shy oh really yeah yeah yeah from whom guys on the street fair enough yeah oh i don't know i might be yeah you you think it's cool Don't you? Look at those white guys, yes. Yes.

They hate us for our freedom. Yeah, yeah. Bringing Burger Kings to Afghanistan. They're ungrateful. A Baghdad Burger King. There you go. What else to watch? There's a few things I do want to watch for the podcast.

I'll finish Priscilla and I'll do some other stuff as well. I want to make sure you get your money's work, guys. I'm going to try and watch all sorts of cool, wacky, crazy stuff. Yes. Before my brain starts. leaking and my face is all like Hey, hey, what are you? You look care with those glasses.