Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 254 : Space Eurovision

Episode Date: May 23, 2025

We meet space Graham Norton

Star reporter. Yeah. You wouldn't be a yupp bro, Brian. You'd be a yup granda. You'd be a yupp senior citizen. I think I'm still a yop bro. I could put on the clothes. I don't think...

I go out of my little scooter, you know? Yeah. Yop bros are, like, that's specifically for, like, teenage lads. Okay, right. Maybe people in their 20s, but I don't think you're going to be in your 30s would be a yup bro. You would be quite funny. If I go up to, like, you know, lads who are clearly in their 20s, you know, they're all, like, you know, roadmen, you know. Yeah, yeah.

I can buy you cigarettes if you want You just have a Hustler magazine Any of you cool dudes Want to see some boomed eggs They show full bush Isn't that cool Anyway look

There's a new episode guys It's going to be free episode I want to get the Doctor Who stuff out of the way I think the best thing we can do is get out of the way so people will easily skip over this as they want

I'm very self-conscious to how niche this is Although, weirdly, it's the most popular thing on TikTok. It's the stuff that gets people conversation going. Yeah, it's like, but their conversation, all the comments are like this indecipherable garbage that makes no sense. Even to me. You probably have, I don't understand it either. Like, we did a video about the Sonic Screwdriver, which as you all know is a thing the doctor has, all right? Yeah, all the young pros know about the Sonic, I got that Sonic screw drive.

Drive up, wow. Just a shiv. But they stabbed me and like, oh, it's not the right type of Sonic screw driver. Where's my companion? Yeah, so we did the video. And in the video, you're all like, yo, I'm black, yo, where's my gun?

As I tend to be. And they all love that. They're all like... None of them, no one mentioned it. No one said, what a hilarious racist voice that young man's doing. They're all having all these debates about like, the sonic screwdriver is not as good as sonic sunglasses. Are you fool?

How could you take such a thing? Oh, a total NPC take right there, yeah? But anyway, look, so I want to talk about Doctor Who. The newest episode came out. It's called the Interstellar Song Contest. Was this the Eurovision one? It is, yeah. Now, just to paint a picture here, so you are the heads of the BBC.

Okay. It's fair play, all right? So, you have the F.A. Cup. Yeah. Okay, big, big event. Palace. Yeah, Palace City. Big Man City.

Yeah, great. Just going on a tangent for a minute. It's been a great time for a football fan. Even if you're just like a neutral. Yeah. It's been very entertaining. So Palace got their first trophy ever. Ever?

Since like 905. Wow. Yeah. Spurs got their first trophy in like 17 years. Okay. Fucking Newcastle got their first trophy since, I think like the 60s. You know, it's just been a kind of fun time, you know. All the underdogs are winning.

I kind of hope. that have you heard the term parody parrot not parodie parody as in parity yeah parity

yeah yeah just like things are getting more level at the moment yeah yeah it kind of makes more interesting

like the days of like man united winning like 13 years in a row not in a row but like

just a lot it's like out of the way yeah yeah well Liverpool were kind of the hot ticket there

for a while Liverpool won their first fucking premier league in front of a crowd we mean they never

They never won a Premier League before, apart from COVID. And when they celebrated, during COVID they won, it was like, way, it's just an empty stadium, you know? And it's like, all right, well, we've got to follow protocols, you know? So they had to go have a celebration on Zoom. Yeah. It's pretty sad, depressing. Yeah, I mean, you can't really, you can't sexually assault anyone over Zoom.

I've tried. Poor footballers, come on, what are they meant to do? They're champions now. But look, look, look, so you were the head of the BBC. Celebrate their Premier League win. in a premier in watching fucking Danny Henry

They're in a fucking travel tavern like Alan Patridge So anyway Look so you head of the BBC You have the FA Cup All right Big big event

Huge viewers Okay A national talking point Then you got Doctor Who Then you got The Eurovision Song contest Again huge talking point

All right Big big event All right This should be a cracker Of a schedule And you're taking Doctor Who in the middle Let's make it fun

All right Let's not get political, controversial here. Okay, we want a big crowd-pleasing episode. Right, fun for the whole family. Fun for the whole family. Think about it, you know, at the moment, you know, your vision, a little bit controversial at the moment. Right.

The BBC, this is the week we fired Gary Lineker, you know, it's like... Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's just keep it nice and happy. Let's keep a fun, all right? So it's Doctor Who goes to Space Eurovision. How could you fuck that up? All right? How about

have the Dalek show up and like exterminate you know Oh step aside doctor I will do

the robot yeah make it a fun Eurovision all right no this this episode

got what comes out like a B boy in the 80s yo it's like that and that's the way

it is all the fly girls in the background exactly yeah as cybermen you know but no

so this episode this fun episode set during Space Eurovision is all about terrorism and genocide. Ah. Yeah. Bit of a... You've got enough with that at the moment.

A bit of a hot potato there, is it? So, it is... The doctor goes to Space Eurovision, all right? So in the far, far future. Right. And he's trying to enjoy it. But these...

Just think about this, okay? This evil bunch of terrorists who have survived a genocide. Okay, so they're like the victims, all right? Yeah. They are going to attack. Everyone noticed Brian did that, the victims. Well, they're called the Hellions, because they're fictional, all right, yeah.

So. The Hellions? Yeah, they're, it's very close to like Hezbollah, isn't it? Well, you know what? I didn't even think about that. Yeah. But they are going to attack a music event. Ah.

Just saying, like, it's, if I was head of the BBC, be like, hmm, that's weird. Yeah. A little bit ripped from the headlines. Yeah, so they are, you know, the annoying thing is, this would promote it is this, like, hard at Eurovision in space. Die hard, apolitical, all right?

That's the whole point. They're pretending to be terrorists. They just want to steal money. Yes. Okay, so let's make the villains, criminals, make them just pure evil.

They're like, oh, we love, we hate music. Or like, oh, even make it like full on walk. Make it like, oh, space Eurovision, gay people like that. And we're space homophobes

and we're going to kill them. You know, make it simple. Okay. Simple to hate them, all right? No, this is like, they're like, all our people were killed by this evil corporation, you know, and now the corporation run this Eurovision contest, and we're going to blow up the Eurovision as, you know, and send like a kind of debt ray out somehow, okay, sci-fi, all right?

And kill those of people, right, right, because our... Weapons of mass destruction. Yeah, yeah, because our people were genocided, and then the doctor defeats them. Okay. By murdering all their children and cutting off aid and food trucks. Yeah, he just like parks his tortoise on the road and blocks all so like, no, no, they can't get in with the medicine or the food, you know. Yeah, yeah. Him in space, Netanyahu.

So, not easy to defeat the terrorists, okay? He actually electrocutes him. He, like, basically tortures him, okay? Teach him a lesson about getting revenge. for genocide. Right. But here's the twist that's meant to be like

the, oh, isn't it, make it think, all right? So one, the singers at the space your vision is actually a hellion.

Oh, in disguise. Yeah, yeah. So she sings a song about peace or some shit, all right? And it's like, yeah,

that's how you actually protest. Don't take action, all right? Just sing a song. Yeah? Which is kind of weird because your vision is famously like you're not allowed

to have politics your songs, unless you're Israeli. Well, there was, like, at the most recent Eurovision, there is a guy, you know, he just, like, ran up from the crowd, and while the performer's on stage, he's there screaming, free Palestine, free Palestine. Yeah. The security guards come, like, like, they're, like, literally put their hand over his mouth to shut him up. Yeah. And one guy with, like, a headset, I reckon he was, like, the stage director or something like that.

But he was like, shut up, shut jab out, and start slapping him. Because they watch Doctor Who, and they were like, it's a helion. get him but then also the message like yeah you can protest with song wasn't that what kneecap did and that motherfucker he caught a charge like exactly you know what I don't think

it's deliberately like you know anti-Palestine or praise I think it's more just stupidity because I think the writer Juno Dawson she's posting Juno Dawson she's trans so there you go

put that in your pocket I will, yeah. I'll enjoy you. So she's like, she's like tweeted some like pro gaza stuff in the past, all right? So I think it is just, um, just kind of like very simplistic kind of centrist thing of like, yeah, if we all just held hands and sang a song, that would teach him. Yeah. And the doctor, you know, they mentioned the company cause of genocide. Doctor doesn't really care about that at all. That's, you know, cause to doing business. It's like what's done is done. You know, what are you going to do? Get revenge, complain about your. About your. genocide yeah yeah it's just weird that like this is doctor who all right essentially it's made for children and people like me all right children and the people try to groom them uh no no i'm just saying it's made for like you know man child people like me all right but it's like weird like let's let's really go head on tackle politics uh during you know during a time when you're not allowed tackle politics during the your vision itself no And also, the guy who hosted it, the football match beforehand, is being fired.

Yeah. What, what's specifically, he tweeted an emoji, was it? So, Gary Lineker, I will say, this is, it's kind of like, it was coming for a while, all right? I mean, I've heard he's gotten trouble, like, he got suspended. Was it last year? Yeah, yeah. So, something similar. It's fucking stupid, because the whole thing is, BBC presenters aren't allowed to have political, no, sorry, express political opinions.

Yeah. now I get that I kind of get that for news okay but for sports I don't really think it matters that much you know

if you're like talking about a game your palace versus Fulham let's say some random game and you're like oh yeah and by the way

I don't like Trump that's not gonna really affect yeah yeah it's not gonna like oh he's biased now more so I think it's not even

having a political leaning one way or the other I think just football fans are like we're in and dated with like political discussion and discourse could this just be a politics free zone

but he's not doing it during the show that was just the extreme example right he's not doing it during the show but like off air when he's on Twitter right well that is different yeah he should be allowed to do that exactly exactly and even so last year he tweeted that you know the

government were kind of like their attitude towards refugees similar to like Nazi Germany essentially 1930s Germany and he got suspended and all the fucking presenters on match of the day basically said we're going to step down if you don't reinstate him

yeah exactly I think most of Britain was like on his side you know because even like there's a bunch of well I won't say most just a lot of GB viewers there against him all right but a lot of people are like I don't like his politics now but Jesus remember Italia

oh it was a good all the goals he banged in for England you know he's and walkish crisp the bloody delicious. Remember that, though? It was salt in linnaker instead of salt in vinegar. It were very clever.

That's very wordplay like Oscar Wilde, weren't they? Oh, delicious. There's people out there that hate Palestine but love the crisps so much. Oh, let him away with it. Yeah, yeah. So he posted a video.

It was something like, you know, Zionism explained in 30 seconds. But there was an emoji of what they say is a rat. Okay. I thought it was a mouse, to be honest with you. I didn't really, uh, I didn't cop rat straight away. Is the rats, uh, sort of, because what, yeah, I was to say a trope. It's all that, it's all that bullshit.

Like, but propaganda, Nazi Germany, they did equate like Jewish people to rats. Yeah, did, yeah. That's why mouse, uh, they did the whole mice thing and rats. It's kind of like a reclaiming it, you know. Right, right. Uh, but like this is he was tin eyes for a long time. He was publicly criticizing the BBC. He already, by the way, announced, I did this is why I think most people,

People aren't really put a bunch of fuss about it and he's not putting a fuss about either. He already announced he going to step down. Okay. So he was done for the football season. He was going to do the World Cup and that's it. Right. So now it's just like just sped it up a little bit.

Okay, okay. And also he's very successful. He's got a big podcast empire at the moment. Oh, really? Yeah, have you heard those, the rest is history, the rest is football, the rest is politics? Yeah, I've heard all of them. Yeah, so they're all his.

Oh, okay. He runs all that. Wow. So he's kind of really I think this is good for him in a way Same with two Johnny's Really then it's more than likely You know

Sure, I'm sure he does care about it But really he knows the way the tide is turning Especially with the young people And new media And that's where he's transitioning to He's away from legacy media into podcasting But also there's like less Fools like you are falling for it Brian

I'm protesting or TV for some reason no my point is like so remember when two johnny stepped down yeah yeah that wasn't really the same thing was it no my point is um they step down because you can make way more money outside of it and when you are working for a public broadcaster there's way more scrutiny yeah all right they also is like they have stipulations in their contracts that you can't be you know you're not allowed to be making money on the side if you're with r t you're with them and that's exactly yeah like we know people who work for RTE and they're not allowed appear in this podcast. That's

right. They've told me that. Yeah. Yeah. At least I think Yeah, RTE said I'm not allowed to be alone in a room with you guys because of my contract or something. I remember I was having a birthday party and I try to invite them like no RTE says you're not allowed.

Patrick Kilty says no. So yeah, weird episode Doctor Who. It's annoying because I actually did, I enjoyed a lot of it. I thought it was one of the better ones. There was some funny stuff in it. You know the concept like wacky aliens singing songs and all that. Also, I didn't mention

the head hellion, the main terrorist in it, is, I think his name's like Leam Fox. So like Lord's Fox is his uncle. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. That's another little extra bit there. So he'd be the brother of James Fox then, I guess? I can't keep track of the Fox

family. They're like the Coppola's. And then, which, there's the Fox in performance back in the day as well. James Fox. That's Lawrence Fox. No, sorry, sorry. He must be like, he's a young fella, this fella and Doctor Who.

Oh. So, maybe... How young? Like 20. That could be Lauren Fox's nephew or something. Nephew, that's a, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's related anyway.

It's weird, they're all kind of related and they're all connected to Richard Aldo Wadi as well. Honestly, like, Lawrence Fox, like, that could, he could have a son that age, you know? It's not his son. Him and Billy Piper. I looked up, it's not his son, but it's

like a relative. It's a massive family dude. How are they connected to Iowadi, do you say? Aywadi's married to one of them. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think he's married to Lawrence Fox's sister. Foxy lady.

We're a couple little gossips, aren't we? Oh, bitch. How's married to Lawrence Fox? Oh my God. Billy Piper and she got fat. Oh, she didn't. She's a beautiful lady and a very talented actress. She's looking pretty good.

She didn't do Wednesday. Okay. I don't watch Wednesday. You better start. I better, yeah, yeah. You've all people I thought you'd be watching it non-stop. Why?

Because you love Fred Armisen. Is he in it? Yeah, he is, yeah. Who's he play? He plays like the uncle. You know, the big, like, oh, uh... Lurch or something?

Squirt. No, Lurch was the big tall fucker. Oh. Who is the uncle fucking Fester? Uncle Fester. Yeah, I'd say, yeah, yeah. You know your stuff. Actually, speaking of Lawrence Fox,

I hate to say this, but he's in Victoria, the TV show. he's pretty good I was thinking if he just kept his mouth a little bit shut I wasn't so spastic

he'd be grand yeah yeah he's like very like you know very loud and always like you know putting his foot in it

and just calling him in hoars and stuff did you see the film where he played Hunter Biden I did yeah yeah I was terrible yeah well

that wasn't his funniest moment no I tell you I'm watching Victoria at the moment it's about young Victoria so it's Victoria

when she starts off when she's 18 and now she's like 20 something years old right sorry about that I'll tell her I'll let her know

Yeah, you do that It's funny I've kind of gone down this Queen Victoria rabbit hole Because there's a whole There's a whole kind of Queen Victoria Cinematic Universe

There's Queen Victoria The TV show The VCU Oh I like that Yeah yeah We'll go we do Victoria Minute Alright

She's gonna appear in Doomsday So there's Victoria Which went for three seasons On ITV All right That was recent enough Okay Then there's

Mrs. Brom Brown. Have you heard of that film? With Billy Conley? No. Nothing to do with Mrs. Brown's boys? No, no, no. And then there's Victoria and Abdul. Have you seen that? Whoa. I want to hear Lawrence Fox's opinion on that. I'll talk about that last, okay?

So in the chronologic, in the timeline, okay? No, fuck it. I'm not good at English. It's all right, but don't just... No, fuck, would it kill myself. I deserve a be tortured. like those hellions. So Victoria starts off and just want to say Victoria,

I watched a great episode a few nights ago where it's set during the famine. Ah. And it's funny because like it's, the Queen lives,

of course, in this big castle in England. Sure. And she's hearing these rumors about hungry people in Ireland.

So is that true? No, miss. No. Hungry paddies, starving to death. No, actually, they're too fat, my lord.

Too fat, Mrs. Queen. They're stuffed, stuffing themselves. They're all of bloody benefits, my lord, my queen. They need Osempic. We have to take the potatoes away from them because we're getting so chubby.

Your Majesty, they refuse to commit to the intermittent fasting program which we have laid out for them. So it's such bullshit. Basically, there's one lad in Ireland who's like, oh by the way, he's a good landlord.

So he's like, all the people that I'm renting to are starving. And he like walks into a house, like dead babies everywhere, you know? It's like dead corpses everywhere. He's like, I think something's wrong here. Right. So he goes to London, all right? And he goes to London, and London, the streets are

paved with potatoes. We're like, people's eating like one bite potato and they throw it on the street, you know? Yeah, yeah. They're like, wash himself with potatoes. They're loving it, you know? Potato deldos, you know? Oh yeah. Spud, fuck me good. So he

noise when you do your Irish famine XXXX parody so Oh that are we good now Have you heard of

Plantation Porn That's exactly what it sounds like Unfortunately I have Oh you want to sleep In a big house tonight Yes master please Oh my teddy is so big Well what are you

gonna do for me And I show you some kindness I expect some reciprocity. Oh, mess, I don't understand the big words now, but I suck your dick. How long you can keep doing this? I don't know. I'm kind of enjoying it, you know? It's like a one-man play. Submit, that's a Dublin Fringe festival.

Yeah, seen and heard. Hell yeah. Our scenes. Don't seen and heard, messa. Oh, we can't put that up anywhere, but... What? I put that off. That's grand. That's a bit of a laugh.

Come on. There's bare tits on TikTok now. You're right, you're right, yeah. So, you know, there probably is actual plantation porn on TikTok. Miacopa, mea, mea, right? So, I was going to say, so yeah, he, sorry, he, I want to look to up afterwards for research, you know. I thought he's watching 12 years of slave.

12 years of sex slave. So he goes to the queen basically, such bullshit. he goes to the queens like your majesty the Irish people are hungry and the queen's like my goodness

that my people would starve oh is this she gave a fuck in real life you know oh to be the queen is to feel the pain of my nation you know all this shite

all right like her caring about Ireland it's like if you have a child that you love and then you adopt some smelly one-eyed pegleg freak that rakes of shit

you don't care if it stays out all night or doesn't come home at all you barely think about it you know but like oh he's got the gift of the gab it doesn't matter it's still smelly so the queen is like oh don't worry I help you set up a soup kitchen so the guy's like

yes you've solved it so he sets up a little soup kitchen and cork and then we're meant to presume it like and that probably sort it all out then yeah on the kind of like you know the kicker all right so the guy who set up the soup kitchen he's like well I'm happy that I helped

out the people of Ireland and then it turns out that guy his great great great granddaughter went on to create the TV show Victoria wow yeah oh so really just white washing our family history

then yeah basically by the way the whole meat in the queen is entirely fictional okay yeah it was just some probably some guy who was like well set up one soup kitchen and shut them up you know yeah keep the paddy quiet hopefully they'll put a cork in it I get it because it's in coke

oh classic banter and he goes pisses on a bunch of potatoes so yeah give him that yeah have your pissy spuds you smelly bastards so

Victoria like I said three seasons and it's about her and Prince Albert okay now Prince Albert died I think I think he was waiting for like 20 years

he died. Then along comes Mrs. Brown a 1980s movie I very much enjoyed starring Billy Conley? Yeah, Billy Conley, that's it. Billy Conley and then some woman. Judy Dench.

Oh, okay. So... Some woman. Yes. One of the most celebrated actresses of all time. I love her, by the way. Shabot Bint. Yeah, that's not Mrs. Brown. Some old dinner lady. bag for life I just got distracted

because Gerard Butler makes his feature film debut Oh young Butler You've given me for forgetting Judy Denge

Like get her out away Yeah I want to see Den of Teaves The prequel to Den of Thieves I bet Butler A young Butler

was quite a thing to behold Yes yeah I'll get to it in a minute okay But let's just say You see their cocks Great

Yeah I got you going now Finally history has come alive so Mrs. Brown is a true story okay So the queen after her husband died Prince Albert was basically catatonic Just like kind of gave up basically Like suicidal and all but like you know

Basically people are like ma'am you have to do this She's like okay wave now bring him back to bed All right just stay in bed all day Barely wants to get up you know Doesn't even wipe her ass Yeah yeah so she's very sad Alright but then along comes Mr. Brown.

Now, Mr. Brown... She starts taking heroin. Mr. Brown here, you're the better, Mr. I feel ever so heavenly. Oh, my world. And my melancholy hath left me once more. Thank you, Mr. Brown.

It's like Adam and Paul, but it's Queen Victoria. Just around, walking around Dublin. You're walking around the liberties? Oh, please that I may have, Just a tuppence for some gear. Yeah. Shut you, you fucking. I'm fucking boss to head here, you stupid court to stay.

Hey, away with thee now. Lest I call the council and have your bloody kids taken off you. Yes, her kids be gone. And then like the community embrace her, you know, she meets some roadmen. Let's go to work, fam This is mental No, no This is true story, by the way

Everything we said is true It's all a matter of historical record But anyway, so Mr. Brown was a good dear friend of Prince Albert, all right? He is kind of a A well, kind of a fun-loving Scotsman All right

And he's big in the horse riding And he's a real kind of man's man He's a Billy Connolly, young Billy Connolly He's very good, I have to say now Real good screen presence, all right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's fantastic.

And he basically shows up. He's like, you know what? Your Majesty, I've heard rumors that you're not doing well. Okay, my friend, Prince Albert, if he was around, he'd be like, get her off her arse. Yeah.

You can't see that. Ah, shut up, you wee bitch. Oh. I fucking give you a nice big cock up the arch. You fucking love it. Oh, you know, all like the, you know, like the guys and the government all that. Oh, you can't do that to the queen.

Oh, allow it. Tell me more. So, basically, all right, he kind of gets her out for a slump after a while, you know? At first it's very kind of like, well, write the horse, but only for 20 minutes, and then you must leave, leave me alone.

But she likes riding the horse, you know. And then slowly over time, they become very good friends. And he basically moves down to England, all right? Wow. With his brother Gerard Butler, all right? Ah. And he likes to blow off steam.

One of the scenes, okay, is they blow off steam Billy Connolly and Gerard Butler by just running naked into a lake sure okay and man I tell you now Billy Connolly and Drar Butler they don't focus on the cocks

alright but you did the camera can't well no no we all did all right everyone in the audience because the cocks wobbling and from a distance

you can still see it flopping right who's was bigger I couldn't tell now it's all about camera angles and all that you know Billy Connolly is more in the foreground, okay? But Gerard Butters, if you, it's like Bigfoot, you know, you squint.

Or like the JFK, like the Zepuder film, okay? There's like a slowdown of Gerard Butters' cock swinging, you know? Back to the left. We are through the looking glass, see, people. A cootie ta. Now, the film doesn't actually say this, okay? But it does mention that during the time, a lot of the press, and people

close to the queen thought they were fucking not even that just didn't like the idea of like the Scotsman yeah because he could influence her you know

be like oh why you know make Scotland independent I didn't think of that you know and there was also like you ever hear punch magazine nah

oh it's interesting go look at punch right it was satirical magazine at the time all right and it's great because you get to

look back of like what was funny back then all right so there's all these like cartoons making fun like the queen running off and marrying Mr. Brown and stuff, you know, very at the time, very

satirical. Yeah, I like there's, I actually, I did hear about that. There was one comic strippers, like, they call him Mr. Brown because he loves anal and he fucked the queen up the ass. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, very droll, very witty shit. Jolly good, ribbon, good found that.

Apparently the queen enjoys to get daped out. Well, very good. Jolly, jolly good. I love, by way, magazine if you'll ever look it up okay all their cartoons of Irish people are hilarious there's monkeys yes they're either monkeys or like just purely the pot you know like just proper as like like zombies you know a zombie with a potato

in its ear you know it's just like a little bit offensive you know but it's funny to see only if you're a snowflake cool dudes like me can laugh at it they'll show like a fucking like basically like a monkey Irish man like I'm too stupid to eat during a famine And all the English All the English are like Yes, yes, that's very good It's very funny That that's what they found funny

That's good It's a good insight into the mind of the English Back then, yeah, yeah But anyway, so They don't explicitly say in the film With the war banging or not But they're a very close friendship, all right? And now we can debate afterwards

What the crack is, okay? But in the film anyway, eventually, long story short, they have enough of it in Buckingham Palace. So they basically pay some guys to batter Mr. Brown. Oh.

Yeah, and be like, stay out of landing. Right. All right. Well, like, was he starting to kind of be manipulative? In the film, no. Okay. I couldn't say for sure otherwise, but like, she's, at the time, she's still, like, a fit woman, you know? She's not like, she's, like, you know, losing her brain.

But if she's, like, if she's grieving, she's vulnerable, right? Well, this is over the course of, like, 30 years. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. It's not like over the weekends, like, you know what? you should give me all your money yeah well if you lose the one you love brian you never really get over it you know i would there's an old adage that says if you ever truly love someone you'll a little part of you will love them forever i don't think so i think i think if i a wife and she died

i don't think i'd care that much so there you go so ladies uh you know Brian pops the question it depends so if my wife died and the episode of dr who on that week's really good my fucking nice swings and roundabouts in it but if the documentary episode is bad I'm like oh fuck I'm walking around the street crying like oh Brian's not taking it well

I know it's hard when you lose the ones you love I miss shoot he got what I'm actually grieving I lost someone close by well not someone my cat died oh really yeah our cat died we had him for five years

little Freddy the cat he was ah we loved him didn't know you had a car yeah you kept that quiet Well, I don't want you to sully the one pure thing in my life. We should get a cat. We did. There was a cat in this house.

Yeah, and it ran away. Yeah. Because I was too friendly. I was with a Mr. Brown. Trying to influence the cat. So anyways, real quick, all right? So, oh, we'll end it in a second, all right? Just, I'll turn it and give me, fuck off.

Oh, I didn't, literally. I got too stressed talking with the queen. Sorry about your loss. by the way yeah oh thanks thanks I'll

tell you I'm going to restart the video there all right okay I'll do my

in memorium section for Freddie it's so hot say goodbye to yesterday I need to work

on that was very beautiful yeah thank you I turned the camera off during that but just

real quick all right I want to dedicate my plantation porn bit to Freddie the

the cat R-I-P in memoriam. He would have loved that. He really would have. So real quick, all right, over the course of 30 years or so, they kind of grow distant, all right. The Queen's got other stuff in her mind,

you know, like running the country. Sure. And, you know, she has to do fucking work. And Mr. Brown, of course, like, let's just go in the woods, you know, yeah, go hunting, yeah. And it's like, you can't have fun all the time, you know.

It was nice for a while, like a kind of, you know, a nice fling, you know, emotionally or sexually but I gotta grow up here I'm the queen okay yeah I have to run my country yeah

but then when years later okay Mr Brown he thinks he sees someone in the woods they don't confirm if he does or didn't

okay but he runs out in the rain and gets pneumonia he's much older this stage oh right he's like old but he's one of those lads

who's like I can still fucking get on horses I'll still run around with my cock on yeah and Gerard Butters like you may calm down a bit now

you're you're 40 in scottish years that's like 90 yeah especially back then yeah he's like constantly pouring a mysterious liquid into all his drinks you know oh yeah um this is alcohol imagine oh right right all right anytime tea he's like just pouring like it looks like it's just he has a cup of tea and it's just pure whiskey no tea that's what a legend i thought maybe it'd be a little bit of morphine or something maybe that could be it yeah that'd be good no didn't go into detail i'm sure I'm sure he was a bit of a character, Jack the lad, all right? But anyway, so he's dying, and then the queen finds out, which comes to him, visits him, and it's like, oh, you know, a nice little deathbed moment, all right, the end.

Now, in, oh, here's the thing. They found Mr. Brown's diary. Okay. And they burnt it. Oh. Not the queen now. The people connected to the queen burnt the diary, all right? The deep state.

Now, this is interesting now. So, officially, there was no romance whatsoever. Okay. Officially. Now, when the queen died, she was buried with, of course, some stuff from my, remember, the reminder of Albert, okay? She was also buried with John Brown's hair, a lock of his hair. Whoa.

She was buried, now buried, okay, in her fucking coffin with a picture of John Brown. Oh, wow. And she was buried with John Brown's mother's wedding ring. Wow. so that's pretty suspicious, all right? Also, she had a tramp stamp with an arrow pointing down to her asshole that says,

property of John Brown. So, you know. Now, I'm no detective now, but that could be... Ah, just to remind me Mr. Brown, was she giving her the dick on a regular occasion? Hey, Mr. Columbo, you're very on course. Also, okay,

so as time gone has gone by, it's a big debate about whether they actually got married or not. No, I'm not talking with sex, talking married, okay? Right. The rumor is that they secretly got married. That's crazy.

Now, there was a priest or a minister who, as he was dying, years later, confessed that he did marry you to. Like that CIA agent who said he killed Marilyn Monroe. The exact same thing. Dead confession. Marilyn Monroe fucked Queen Victoria. Yes, there we go.

So, now, that is just some old fella, all right? Yeah. But there's also I think a diary of the Queen's physician during this time and he said there's a good bit

a banter between the two all right and at one stage she was like looking for something and John Brown was like I think I got here he lifted his kilt up

oh yeah what do you think that means and his cock was hard what do you think that means there was something sexual going on there no I was just to laugh

just obviously he likes the dirty Sanchez boys you know this is what pod shows would do look at my cock

so that is the rumour now that they secretly got married then they definitely were fucking now along comes Abdul like this

so now Mrs Brown came out like 80s Mr. Brian Oh yeah Mr. Brown No I think it's called Mrs. Brown

Oh really? The film's called Mrs. Brown yeah so that's really saying that the queen was married to Mrs.

Brian and now Abdul comes along and you couldn't call him you know Mrs. Abdul Yeah, yeah

So Mrs. Brown came out in 1980s I think of the 1980s or something like that Very successful at time I'm kind of forgotten

about now but very successful Then in 2017 Victorian Abdul came along and it's the same cast as Mr. Brown

Really? Yeah like fucking 20 odd years of there Exactly 30 years later Yeah, yeah How many? A lot of years later.

80s to 2017. Yeah, it's like 35 years or so. So the same queen, all right, no Gerard Butler, I'm afraid. Or Billy Conley, he's long dead. Oh, Billy. No, in the... So his wife is available. Yeah. He's got a lot

of health problems, like, you know, Parkinson's and dementia. The poor cunt. He's been kind of like... He's been basically doing interviews for last decade of feels, being like, yeah, I'm close to the end. But I'm happy about it. He's still going.

He's still going. Yeah, yeah. But, so, Victoria and Abdul is, again, completely true story. All right. This one wasn't as good. It was a little bit,

it was farcical, but without much humor in it. It was a little bit dry for my liking, okay? But it starts off this young fella called Abdul. All right? And Abdul lives in India. All right, he's a Muslim in India.

Okay. Control by the British. Oh yes Yes So The Commonwealth Yeah So they are having

I forget Forgive me now Forget what the event is They're having some event Basically where they like Give stuff to the Queen You know Kind of like

Oh we in India Love you Mrs Queen Your Majesty Here you go And they need some Indians To help All right

And just looking for Oh let's get some tall Indians Who can carry shit Oh there you go man All right Off onto the boat No but my family Shut up

All right Look they all be dead Next week Anyway so come on We're doing you a favor. Now, they bring them over. Take it you to a country where there's air fresheners. You're going to love

it. It's going to blow your frigging mind. And they do curry the right way. So they bring him over, okay, him and his buddy and they're giving stuff to the queen. And the queen at this stage now is very close to death. She is kind of like Joe Biden.

Her brain's going a little bit, you know. Her son is getting ready, you know. The son play, Bertie. Okay, played by Eddie Izert. Oh. So Bertie's like, oh, any day now, Mom. King Bertie, perhaps. Yeah, yeah.

And he became King Edward, actually. The Edwardian age is him. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Bertie was his nickname. Right, right, right. So he's a bit like fucking, a bit like, you know,

Prince Charles for years, you know, fucking, I can't wait until she died. Yeah, yeah. His old bag of bones dropped. I know. He's, like, gonna have to step aside. No, because, like, he's got... He's riddled with cancer.

Yeah, yeah, that's fucking. The only thing is, he's got cancer in every part of his body, apart from his big fingers. He's going to donate his sausage fingers to science, you know. And some dog runs away with him. But anyway, so, for some reason now, be it dementia or infatuation or what, Abdul catches the eye Victoria, all right? Abdul's a little bit cheeky, you know. He looks at the queen, which he shouldn't do, you know.

Oh. So he'll just make eye contact with her. I think he's the first person of eye contact with her in years. You're not allowed to do that. Yeah, well, you know, he put your head down, you know, when she walks in. He's, like, looking around, you know?

Like with Kevin James. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Apparently, he, like, send his assistant into a store and tell everyone, look, Mr. Kevin James is coming in now. Do not make eye contact with him. He does not like that.

Your Majesty. The real king of queens, eh? That's good. It's good, yeah. So, she, she, like oh have that boy hang around here you know and she's interested in India so she's asking about Indian stuff and she finds him charming and she's talking about like you know she mentions mr. Brown she's like oh it's been hard you know I lost oh my

love Albert and oh poor old mr. Brown is dead as well and I and I will be leaving this mortal world soon but I know so little about India you know I'm the queen of that place don't even know tell me about it I only found out it existed last week that's fucking crazy I thought it was like an awful nightmare

a country full of what so he now obviously he's got perspective all right because he's Muslim all right so he starts telling her

like how Muslims are like this and he doesn't like Hindus you know so he says like oh Muslims being persecuted by Hindus Hindus causes violence Muslims don't what's a Hindu it lays eggs

Swale! Bar-da-bah! You're like the court jester, you know? Have him killed. Yeah, I'm a tough crown. Court jester, if it was Bernard Manning. Who the fuck's he's Mr. Abdul? Fucking fuss it was Mr. Brown.

Now it's Mr. Abdul. Who the fuck's next? Mr. Abdul should be called Mr. Brown. What? You have to have a laugh, don't you know? Take life so seriously, you know? So, again, not much happened in the film. It's not that great a film now.

There's a lot of, like, culture clash kind of stuff that's meant to be, like, hilarious, but kind of comes off just, like, flat. So, like, one example is she's like, oh, you've got a wife, don't you? Back in India, bring her over. So he brings the wife and the mother-in-law over, and they got burqas on.

All right? So then all, like, you know, the lords are like, what's that? Oh, it's a ghost. like a letterbox but then it's just like she's there okay and they're a bit like

oh my lord what's on her what's she wearing and then you know the queen's like it's nice to meet you that's really it okay and then

oh yeah so then like he can't they can't conceive all right him and his wife and they get the queen's physician to investigate And that's the only bit I laughed at

because it's like Jamie from Tickevah, if you know him, you know. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Malcolm Tucker's other, you know, help friend. Yes, yes, yes. And he's like, oh, I spent seven years and medical school in Edinburgh. I didn't, I didn't do that to study Indian dicks.

And it's funny because it's not the dick part. He doesn't like, it's the Indian part, okay? So, Abdul's like whipping it out, all right? He's pulling his pants down. He's like, ugh, what the, what color? Oh my God. You've got, you got a, you got a, this penis is gangress cut it off at once it needs to be amputated well it actually turns out he's

got serious gonorrhea oh like he's got so much gonorrhea like he basically cannot perform sexually oh yeah okay and then the queen gets angry all right because she's at this like dinner kind of event okay and she's talking about the hindus and Muslims because she's now she's like oh it's terrible over in India isn't it the Hindus and the Hindu So, whoa. Sorry. All right. Disrespectful, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful culture, and you rock up. Like, whoa. Oh, all right, lad. That's, that's, that. Oh, something smells funny. Close your legs, love. The queen loves it.

Yeah. Anyway, so they're talking with Dan, and she's like, oh, isn't it terrible? Like, those Hindus just attack the, you know, The Muslims, for no reason. Like, there was a big revolt there and the Hindus attacked. They're like, no, miss, it's the other way around.

The Muslims attack the Hindus. Ah. Yeah, in fact, actually, there's a greater proportion of Muslims that, you know, the Hindus are like a minority. And they're persecuted. Yeah, and she's like, what? And she's embarrassed now. Oh, right.

So she decides. She looks like a right mug. Yeah, she's actually going to give them a knighthood. Really? Yeah, yeah. And she decides not to... Based on what? What are they here?

She's gone in the head, you know? Like, when they travel together, okay? So they travel in, like, the nice carts, and Bertie, the King the B has to travel, like, you know, the working class section. What are you doing back here, my lord? I wish, I didn't think a man of your caliber would like be in around the likes of us. Yeah, he's back with like a donkey and a Yorkshire man, you know? Well, very unbecoming, well, and he's just like, Abdul.

Now, you could, if you just, true history away, had a bit of fun with it. You could do a very funny movie like that, all right? Where maybe Abdul, maybe just full on, just have Abdul fucking the queen, you know? Just go for it, right?

Make it like wacky and funny, okay? And like, he's like pulling pranks on Bertie, you know? Yeah. And Bertie's like, I'll get you next time, Abdul. Like, because he's got severe gonorrhea, so when Bertie's asleep, he comes in and fucks him, you know? What a prank.

What a hilarious goof. He jizzes all over Bertie's sandwich. Yeah, so he eats it, it gets gonorrhea. Like, Bertie sleeps with his mouth open. You know, he's got a, what do you call that, sleep apnea? So then, fucking Abdul comes in, just rubs his cock all over his mouth. Yeah. Yeah, make it a family-friendly comedy.

Yes, yes. So basically then the queen dies. All right. And Bertie's like, well, well, well. No more Bertie. Edward to you, my boy. And I said, boy. Now, I think you've got your bags

packed right. No. Well, too bad. Fuck off, basically. Yeah. So then, like, Abdul just goes back to India, and he just, like, died like seven years later. Okay. Kind of an odd movie. There's not much to hang your coat on.

It's a weird, like, why did they decide to make a movie about this? It's funny, because the actual kind of much better story about Mr. Brown, okay, that's done so let's have the leftovers how about this Indian guy

who didn't really do anything a kind of just like less interesting version now again if you throw history away you could have done a funny kind of thing

like what's that Matt Damon movie where he pretends to be someone else they made a Ripley okay tell him Mr. Ripley yeah yeah

you know there's something where like he's an Indian like slumdog like you know a poverty stricken guy and he pretends to be some lord or something

I'm actually a lord from India oh I didn't know they had lords a sultan yeah yeah and then he gets caught or something

but instead it's just like yeah very little going on that's the plot of Aladdin by the way you just described Aladdin

yes yes and then he finds a magical lamp and it's Will Smith not Robin Williams oh with his hilarious Johnny Carson

impression what child is going to relate to that you know really big show So that's We went to the rabbit hole

Sorry there man Yeah man You really Oh my God We're talking so much This is what happens When you don't talk About Doctor Who enough

And I think Actually now The doctor did marry Queen Victoria No joke Yeah the doctor Married Queen Victoria And Victoria

Victoria was played by Your one From I think Gavin Stacey Which one The lady Oh Stacy, that's a, yeah, yeah, I forgot her name, yeah. Gavin, that's the, yeah.

Matthew Horan played the queen. He's great, yeah. So, that's, I don't want to talk about anything else really. Okay. So, there you go. Just real quick, I talk about a new segment we could do. Okay. Infinite gist.

Infinite gist. Yeah, where I give you the gist of infinite jest. Right. Yeah. Now, I don't want to spoil anything. For a second there I thought he said infinite jizz And I was like Oh what is your mom coming over

She loves jizzing Yeah no I jizz on her I've got infinite jizz for your mom Oh that's not true You've got a little tumble Like a little drop I'll outsource it you know I'll get some Indian guy

I'll get the BJ boys To send me their jizz in the post Oh that'd be gavie fun wouldn't it Yeah I don't know what we do with it boy Whank in an envelope and send it to me Actually speaking of semen.

All right. Good segue. I was reading about Pedro Pascall's dad. Okay. Do you know what he got in trouble for? No, I know nothing about his dad. It's wild, okay?

Okay. So, Pedro Piscal was born in Chile, right? And his family moved around and went to America, I think California or whatever, okay?

Right. His dad was like a fertility doctor. And Pedro Piscal, what's that's that thing? Yeah, Pedro Piscal got in trouble because his dad worked in the fertility

clinic and as a bit of a goof he started mixing people's sperm around and impregnating women without their consent. With different sperm? With different semen, yeah. Again, it's a bit of goof, you know, like a prank, America's funniest videos, you know? So he'd like put like sperm

and different women and all that. Yeah. And they didn't like that. No. Yeah, they didn't know about Pedro Pascall the time, you know, didn't like, so like he the dad, okay, had to flee the country with his buddy. Oh my God. Back to Chile, all right? It's fucking wild. Yeah, I don't know. There's very little about this online. Yeah. It's true. I was like the whole time, it's like, there's no way it's true. It's supposed to kind of a right wing thing. Yeah, yeah. You're like, because Pedro Pascal is like pro trans. Right, right. This is what they want to do, the trans. Yeah. They want to, like, the chilis, they're going to put semen in you. Yeah. And J.K. Rowland's trying to stop it. But then he still talks to his dad. That's crazy. His dad's still tight. So the dad has signed some of a plea deal, I think, with the FBI.

So he can come back because he had to come back for Last of Us premiere. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and there's videos of him and like Bella Ramsey and Pedro Pascal is like yeah, I'm having a great time here.

Oh, would you believe it? My dad's calling me. Beep, hey dad, you're on the set of Last of Us. Hey, hello son, it's me, you know? Oh, hello, Bella. Oh, I tell you, if you ever want some semen, let me know.

Uh-huh. Yeah, he's a bit of a goof, you know? Um, isn't, surely that's highly illegal. though, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, his other, his buddy, he's still like on the run, I think. Oh. Yeah. But because, so Pedro obviously, pulled some

strings. If your son gets to be in Fantastic Four, you're set. Right. That's basically what I learned from that. Wow. Yeah, that's interesting. I kind of, I'll have to look into this. Was there, I kind of would love, like, a little documentary about it or something. You're not going to get that.

Yeah, yeah. Obviously, Pedro has scrub from the internet, you know? Only the sleuths like you, I saw a tweet. Okay, good enough for me. It's like Woodward and Bernstein. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we don't have much time left there.

Real quick, this is a complete non-sequitur, right? But I saw a video online about tech wars. Okay. Do you ever hear of Tech Wars? No. It's William Shatner's sci-fi epic. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Don't laugh, okay. So in the 80s, his work of culture, right? So in the 80s, William Shatner released Tech Wars, which was his book. all right and it's about a guy called Jake Cardigan okay

and he's like a future cop and by the way he didn't really write this it was like a ghost writer situation okay

but he put his name on it is like picture okay and the main character is basically William Shatner right

so he's this cool cop that gets addicted to a drug called tech okay yeah and tech is like a drug

it's like space heroin all right is it like spice from Dune no no it's basically like the internet

it's like It's like you take a drug You see like funny videos of cats and stuff Oh Yeah When did he write this? Like the 80s Oh

Yeah it's like imagine you take a drug You see keyboard cat It's like that It's a numah Chocolate rain Ah, I'm having a bad trip Oh my God Captain's law

I am terrified Some hideous space creature So he releases a bunch of books All right Tech, it's like tech wars Tech Lords Tech battles you know it's all tech related right tech pussy yeah and uh they they're all like minor successes

and he is fucking selling these he's showing up everywhere everybody like yes uh that's a good question uh you know they're talking like to you talk about star star trek yes you know star trek is much like tech wars which i got right here please buy all good bookshops just like going to all the conventions selling tech wars yeah yeah so i heard of tech wars i didn't realize there's a tv show. Ah. So I think in the 90s then, they commissioned four TV movies

based on tech wars, all right? And at this stage, it's a shame now, but Shatner was like, I've aged out a role of the main character. Which is a shame. I would love to see him in the 90s playing like a 20-year-old guy.

Hey, I'm just out of high school. I've just finished college. I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. life. So he plays the commissioner. So he's basically like Commissioner Gordon be like, damn it, Cardigan, you can't do that. It's too awesome.

You're so damn sexy for God's sake. The women can't concentrate. They're all creaming themselves. So it's TV movie budget. Right. So that's to make some compromises. So in the original tech war series, okay,

for example, they might go to a big spaceship, all right? And it's like a cyber hospital full of robots. Right. In this it's just an alleyway in Toronto. Just as good. Just as good. And they might, let's say, it's in a space

alleyway, no. And they might in the novels, okay, go to like this, uh, this jungle and an alien planet, all right? In this, it's just a coffee shop in Toronto. Uh-huh. Yeah, so the whole, they've made a lot of compromises, right? The whole thing set in Toronto, all right? They

occasionally, like, when he walked to a house, okay, it's just a regular house. 90s but it's got like a hello cardigan i am your house computer you know they'll add stuff like that right and they might like you know they'll drive like a space car which is like you know a regular car with fin like the homer you know you know it's just like a shitty it's a buick you know with the word space graffiti inside of it it's a space Cadillac oh wow it's awesome yeah yeah and uh yeah it i actually was surprised watching it. I watched some bits and pieces, all right?

The dialogue is, first of all, terrible, right? But it's so fast. I think what happened is to try and put an entire book into like one movie. Like he only got like 19 minutes. Yeah, so there's multiple scenes of people like, yes, that's right, it was I who did it. I killed him because I was worried that he'd kill me before me. So I thought

I'd kill him and they keep the cause of conspiracy like it's really, really fast. Right, wow. Yeah, it's like it's sped up or something. Yeah, I thought it was like a a thing on YouTube we're making fun of but that's like No, did you recognise

any of the other actors or? Zero. Oh wow. This is all shot in Toronto local Toronto talent all right. There was one girl in it

like literally the biggest star was some girl who went on to appear in an episode of like Star Trek Voyager. Oh wow. That's the biggest star there, you know, it's not like, oh who's that?

Oh my Daniel de Lewis. What was he doing there? I was preparing for my left foot. I'm trying. Drink your space milkshake. I drink it on. Yeah, it was really interesting. It's kind of like forgotten part of,

you know, I kind of assume I kind of know a good bit about science fiction. Yeah, yeah. And this is a thing that, like, was never big, but William Shatner just, God bless him, just kept it going, right? Just kept, like, beating a dead horse. Yeah, he got a video game out of it,

got a comic book out of it, you know. Now, it's all gone now. Yeah, yeah. Not much demand for tech wars. But even tech wars could mention a fattered head. Really? Yeah, there's a bit in it where

I didn't like this now This is why I don't like Graham Lennon these days Because they're mocking tech wars Oh, hates bitch There's a bit where Fatter Ted's like, I'm reading something sophisticated

Tech Wars by William Shatner And the whole fucking crowd of cunts laughs A bunch of fucking dog-brained mouth-breathing troglodytes Lib-Tard cunts Yeah, yeah

It got me so angry Riggled up, you know I'm glad he's dead You wrote a letter to the BBC You fucking Or roll out to BBC, ITV, NBC. Yeah.

Everyone but Channel 4. Speaking of Daniel D. Lewis, you know he's coming out of retirement to act in a movie his son is directing? That's the only thing that makes me a bit sad. Yeah. It's his son director. It's a Nepo baby thing. I hope it's terrible. That'd be quite funny.

Yes. Because, you know, Phantom Tread was such a good film. Yeah. Have you watched it? I saw the first half of it and I was enjoying it, but I just was kind of full. falling asleep as well. You're like, I've got to watch some BAM videos. Yeah, yeah.

Bam Mangera. That's not how you say his name. What? Bam Mangera. How'd you say it? Really? How'd you say it? I thought you were being ironic.

No. Go on trying again? Bam Mangira? Well, Danny Lewis anyway. Sorry, I was too busy watching Phantom Tread. Oh, were you? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Bamargera.

Yeah, well, whatever, okay. I don't keep a fuck. Okay I don't go If I'm deleting this Yeah Alright I know

The whole episode There We'll lose The plantation stuff You know You know you're right That plantation stuff I'm being overly sensitive

You are Yeah I keep in I post a black square We can do it Yeah Yeah I've got a black niece

Yeah Oh you're right actually Yeah But you have to like Unfortunately Because the world We live in now You have to like

Hold her up You know She's like Look Yeah Otherwise they'll get you I don't care What are they

gonna take I've got nothing Yeah yeah what do you have nothing genuinely nothing don't have a cat now no the cat's dead the only thing i ever loved is god so now you're all gonna pay well you get my doctor who books you want can i yeah yeah don't take him away with you no i will yeah oh fuck i want to be buried with them like queen victorian fuck i just forgot infinite gist oh yeah oh it's too late now do you not have time no we don't have time at all yeah yeah oh well well if you want infinite

gist, you got to come to the Patreon. Oh yeah, that's going to get them going now. Infinite gist. By the way, someone told me that's not your copy. No, it's not. That's Rooney's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you were lying to everyone. No, I wasn't.

You were fucking talk with the town, aren't you? Walking around. Yeah, look at this copy I own, yeah. I said I owned it. Trying to impress all the teenage girls. I said I was reading it, but I didn't know. And I never said I owned it. Oh, all right, okay.

Well, like, that's a big deal if you borrow a book. Half of them books aren't even mine, you know? I just acquired them. Yeah, collect them, yeah. That's your from hell. It is, yeah. And I'm taking it with me when I leave. I'll let you have it, yeah.

You've suffered enough. No, I'm going to burn it. Yeah, yeah. I'll sell it for scrap metal. Anyway, look, this is the hour there, man. Now, on the Patreon, just give you a tease, okay? We're going to talk about infinite. Does he want to take it back?

He should have talked it. No, he doesn't want to. Why does he not want it? He takes it's problematic. Oh, okay. So on the Patreon guys, we're going to talk with David O'Russell. Oh, yeah.

We're going to talk with the Kerry conspiracy. Oh. Dead farmers. Yeah. We're going to talk about Aston Coucher. Ashton Cotcher. Ashton Bangera.

We're going to talk... Aston Martin Bajara himself. Israel. Oh. And Gas Man. I read a book called Gas Man. All right. I've stopped reading Doctor Who books.

There. I'm reading books about Ashton. He couldn't even get that out because it's a lie. He's choking on his own lives. I'm sorry, my lord. Lord shooty. Anyway, that's the end of the show, guys. Head over to Patreon.

Yes, goodbye.