Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 255 : The Cement Mixer

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

We learn about Hitlers bath tub.

Joe Biden was actually old the whole time and nobody knew about it. No one could have believed this. So Jake Tapper, who's like a CNN guy, okay? Yeah, yeah, I know that name. Yeah, Jake Tapper, he's got a book out about how Joe Biden was old. Right. And nobody suspected the thing. Yeah.

And he's promoting this book like, fuck. He's going all, we could probably get him on the podcast. Okay. He's going all over. He's doing the British podcast scene. You know, he's doing the American scene. Oh, what, Mike, yeah. What about Mrs. Tapper?

So you bend her over and tap her? Aye. Hey, lads. Welcome back to the lad report. Meh. Baggy trousers. Didle-da-lid trousers. Are we going to talk about my book?

Shut up, you fucking nuns. I don't want to say bogeys. I don't understand what. What's your problem, mate? Easy because I is black. I'm not, is that Allie G? Wasn't it like 20 years ago? go batte boy shouts up blood man's a batte boy do you get me i don't get you no god i would have

been so good on the british comedy scene 20 years ago i missed a trick by being a child back then you know they would love you back then oh man i'm telling you um but yeah so he's like a cnn guy okay right and he's on cnn going like breaking story buy my book and other shows on cn are like and now we've interviewed Jake Tapper from CNN to discuss his book his blockbuster new book that you should all buy it's kind of like

I don't know what the name phrase is it's kind of like insider trading or something where like it's CNN promoting their their own book original but kind of like framing it as a you're not gonna want to miss this explosive book yeah and the book I haven't read it obviously but like he's talking about

in all these different programs and podcasts and shit and it is literally it's like yeah he was old and we all thought he was fit as a fiddle but now they step down and we lost the election

realized that he was actually sometimes he'd be a bit sleepy because he's old and he couldn't you know like we'd want him to you know

be awake all the time and know where he is and not fall over like any time a camera was pointed on him like some sort of magic trick as soon as a camera pointed his direction

he fell over You know, and Willie Wonka, you know, Charlie Shock Factory, he fake falls and gets up, okay? Yeah. It was like that, but just the fall parts. In reverse. He fakes, being able to walk normally, but just falls every time. But, like, he basically, Joe Biden had this little group of, like, AIDS and, you know,

like, helpers. Yeah. They'll bring him around, okay, and, you know, near the end, he could, he had, like, two good hours. Yes. So he'd be either fucked or asleep. They call it sundowning, I believe. It was not the term. The two hours that he was with it,

he was just like, send money to Israel. Yeah. Send money to Israel. It's remains. Who's cocaine is that? That's how old he was, that he genuinely had to ask whose cocaine is that in the White House.

And everyone had to be like, oh, I don't know. They blame the dog. She's dead. I don't know, man. It's fucking hot in here, though. I'm sweating like a motherfucker, dude. Hey, I'll take that money that you need for Israel.

I'll make sure they get it. Take, tank, my brother's the only one of priorities, man. He knows what we got to do. Give him the money. He makes sure. He makes sure that. Yeah, who gets the money. That's what we got to do.

And you're a jerk if you don't think. Well, yeah. Yeah. It's such a shite kind of a, it's a shit book. Yeah. I can't believe people, instead of just having a bit of a goof with it and being like, you know, oh, you know, duh. Yeah, in other news, water is wet. Yeah, no, some people are like,

I think it's actually kind of a personal thing. You shouldn't write a book about that. It wasn't your place to say he was old. I still believe he could be president right now, and he, and you know, well, actually, the fact that you didn't vote for him, okay, or you want to vote for Campbell instead, that's what gave him cancer.

Yeah. Actually, yeah. It's your fault. You got cancer on your hands. Yeah. You have as much cancer on your hands as he has up his ass. And let me tell you, that ain't no small amount, brother.

Oh man, I listen to a Pod Save America there. He's got a fucking tuber in his asshole the size of a crack rock that Hunter would be smoking on his birthday, you know? A big old motherfucker. Well, the other way you're making fun of it, all right? I'm being curious.

This is me. Literally, I'm compared to crack rock, too. I try to smoke one of them. Oh, wow. Anyway. No, but I listen to Pod Save America. You know that awful pod? with all the Johns. Yes.

You know, John Favreau, but not that John Favreau. Not swingers. Yeah, yeah. So they were all like, you know, it's actually disgusting. People are saying bad things, but Joe Biden is terrible.

Like the level of disgusting comments about it, you know? Ageism. Yeah, ageism, exactly, yeah. It's like, it'd be like if, you know, like Hitler shot himself. Yeah. People are like, you shouldn't make fun. Mental health is serious issue.

Hitler had serious problems, okay? he was afraid to open up he should have went to a men's shed a mines shed in the house a man's bunker yeah but it's like they're making this big deal out of it but then they're trying to cover up not cover up

it's not like they like brush past so a lot of people are saying that Joe Biden that type of cancer you don't just like rock up one day and you have it this is a it must have been persistent like if you're especially if you're a man of a certain age you're getting regular checkups no no that's the pods of america guys are like you know yes sometimes doctors just don't check for cancer yeah sometimes they don't bother because they know they see joe by how healthy he is he is he looks literally he's in better shape than lebron james yeah that's what the doctor says all right and they're like yeah they probably didn't check for cancer now why didn't check for cancer i don't want to speculate it's not on my place it'd be irresponsible for me to

consider the president's health. It's not an issue that we should worry about. It's not something that could like affect the entire nation and therefore the world. Yeah. They're saying that there was a, this is a fun fact now. So Joe Biden had to get some like operation,

didn't tell anyone all right. So he got put under. Yeah. And he's like legally dead for like two minutes. Oh wow. Yeah. So like for two minutes Kamala was president. Yeah.

God, you'd be raging, wouldn't you? She was probably just in the operating room with a glass of wine. the lugging away, you know. Look at that little morfuckus dick, little shrivelace dick, or whatever, you know, it's... I don't think she talked.

That was her husband talking. That was Doug talking there, yeah. Doug, stop talking like that. Funny if she'd accidentally poured all the wine over Joe Biden during the operation. You know, oopsie, Daisy. Guess I'm president forever now. What's she up to now?

She is doing speeches and stuff now. She's making a mint doing all these speeches, being like, I told you so. Yeah Yeah Oh you said Oh she doesn't Oh she's supporting

Uh Israel Well look good now Yeah I think you just fell out Of a coconut tree Ha ha ha ha ha She definitely wants to run again Yeah

But I don't need During a letter Nah I watched an interview a while ago She was never Taken seriously No I know

I watched an interview Even by her own people Yeah And by Biden and Obama We're all like Uh-oh You know But I did watch

interview a while ago With some guy and he's like a political expert I've never heard of him for but I haven't heard of a lot of people you know yeah yeah yeah if he wasn't in Morecambe and Ways

I don't know who the fuck bring me no but like so he was he named like the three top contenders to lead the Democratic Party

for 2028 yeah okay I'd never heard any of them really yeah it's not like you know sometimes like I've heard the name but yeah it's like I've never even

it's just fresh out of the sea training academy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Operation mocking birds because they're mocking us all. Operation mocking my penis. Operation cocking bird.

Oh! Anyway, what are we talking about? Jibberish, absolutely gibberish. No, I was trying to make political points here. Sorry, and I was like, penis. Petus. Even though I was on a broad penis. You always bring it back to penis, James, don't you?

Yeah. So I think it's kind of disgusting How he's just really milking this shit Also, in the book There's all these like, you know Inside sources Doesn't name any of them Right

Which is like interesting Because all these inside sources Are like yeah We are helping him We realize he was fucked for ages Yeah Should I told someone shouldn't you Yeah

No I decided to wait until after You know I knew it wouldn't affect my career And then I was brave enough To tell people Off the record about this Still protecting my anonymity So it's a lot like, you know,

Deep Throat with Woodward and Bernstein You know, this sort of like shadowy figure That won't reveal himself Yeah, although I think they know I'm pretty sure they know Deep Throat now Yeah I forget his name now Wasn't Mark Felt, that was a different guy

Oh, oh, he was, was it? Yeah, it was. Ah, look, something like that, Who cares, who cares, okay? It was all bullshit anyway, that whole thing was made up. What? Yeah, dude.

It was the sci-op, bro, you fell for it. Yeah. It was a fucking coup An anti-Nixon coup Yes, yes it was I think you're actually right I'm going to be dismissive anyway

Oh really Oh so you're saying Sometimes people in Washington Plot against each other To consolidate their own power Okay put on your tinfoil hat You know what actually what you're saying is dangerous James It goes a

You know what it's not even a conspiracy They're in Europe Which we were part of Unfortunately They're bringing about the democracy shield have you heard about this? Democracy Shield is going to be a thing they set up and it stops misinformation

and guys like you. Oh, yeah, yeah. What are they going to do? Come round to me gaff and hold me down and insert any number of objects into my anal cavity. Well, come on, I'm ready for it. I'm a patriot.

Come on, Angela Merkel. I see you try. Yeah, I'd be wearing a ball gag as well. Oh, I wouldn't like that. Oh, yes. So what's the democracy? Shield. Yeah, it's going to be like some kind of like program that stops

bad people. So, I say it's just like an AI thing that sort of like, you know, filters out the bad words. I don't know. I didn't read it. Good. Thanks for breaking it up. I saw a headline and was like, hmm, that's all I need. And make sure

and when James doesn't know enough about it, I'll chastise him for being a buffoon. You didn't read your independent yesterday? No, that's a transphobic ragged. Oh, I forgot about that. Or no, is it the Irish Times? One of them. They're all bad, aren't they?

Anyway. Actually, speaking of transphobia, all right? They announced the three new kids for Harry Potter. Yeah. And I feel so bad for these three kids. Because what are they? Like, they're like, what? I'm not going to judge any ages, what? Like, 17? And a half.

17 and 3 quarters? No, what are they? Like, what, 10 or something? Yeah. They are 10 or 17 or fucking 37 or something? They're platform nine and three quarters, Brian. Well, that's a little Harry Potter reference. I know it is, and I said it. It's good that I mention it, though.

Yeah, they're probably about 10 or 11. Yeah, so I just feel bad. So they've got the three kids, they've got the new Harry Potter, new Ron, new Hermione. And these kids are being thrown in the deep end because, you know, you're plucked out in nowhere essentially. Yeah, yeah.

And now you're going to be like the biggest stars for like, what, is this? It's going to be seven years. Oh, it held up six. fingers, yeah, seven years. It's going to be seven years, it's a big commitment of TV show, right? And you're going to get it from all angles. There's going to be like the people who love Harry Potter, you're like, you're doing it

wrong, you're not, you're disrespecting Rupert Grint, you don't kill yourself, you know? Like that? And that's just Rupert Grent on his burner account. You fucking dog, your little worm, I hope you get raped. Okay, Jesus, Ron. Take it down a notch. The Snatch TV show

Should never have been cancelled That doesn't seem That's got nothing to do with this wrong So there's that element, okay There's also the whole You know racist element as well It's like Yeah and you support Black Snape

Don't you? Oh you're fucking you know Great Replacement Theory and all that Right I just can't understand these people They're like Look I support Black Lives Matter Alright

I donate money to Farrakhan Or I yeah But Black Snape I'm going to burn down a black church this is allowed okay this cannot happen

I've accepted it I let I let a whole basketball team jizzed my daughter and I loved it I could barely hold the camera straight I was shaking with excitement

and glee but this black snape is too far but black snape is stupid a black wizard it's Alan Rickman not Alan black man. That's how it should be.

Look at a grand wizard. Is he black, is he? That's not grand at all. But yeah. And then also you get the whole like JK Rowling, transphobia. So for these kids in the new Harry Potter show, you've got to sit down with them and be like,

look, you're going to get lots of debt threats. Yeah. That's normal, all right? You have to be, you can't be transphobic, but you can't be non-transphobic either. want to piss off jk yeah all right so just you walk that line there all right get used to seven years of people ask you about that and you're not allowed to say anything all right also don't mention israel we don't need that all right so yeah that's a good time to take off the abaca

yeah i think so just when the cameras are here thank you yeah it's just like it's an awful experience it's a it's a minefield yeah like when daniel craig became daniel raucliff oh fuck say It's okay. It's all right, man. When Daniel Craig, he's like in the cupboard and you're a wizard, Harry, and it's Daniel Craig is 50s, be like, what? Well, fuck you mean. Oh, I run, I like your sister. Yeah, chin a, chinny weasley, come over there.

Have a little ginny and tonic on me, yeah? Shake a notch start. So when Daniel Radcliffe became Harry Potter Yeah He's a bit of paparazzi all right Yeah And maybe the odd person The odd freak

Would write a letter to a newspaper Being like he's not the right Harry Potter Okay But that was it Yeah yeah And now it's just all these debt threats People sending like a severed head to his house You know

Sure I don't know why he did that But Passionate fan Brian You don't need to apologise for that Yeah yeah Yeah Yeah, I'm interested

How this series goes You know, I kind of hope it crashes And burns out of interest, you know I'm just wondering, is there a possibility It gets cancelled halfway through? I doubt it Because it be a show that even if it's shit People will watch it, you know?

It's going to create a lot of talking points And articles just because of all the controversy That already exists. I imagine like the bulk of the money Will be like the building of the sets and shit. Now, are they going for a PG-13 thing? gonna go like full euphoria where they're all

jerking each other off and doing ketamine you know wizard ketamine correct yeah Hagrid's like take this shit yeah I feel so low Hagrid

I feel gonna kill myself yeah yeah take that and stuff I'm stormer Mr. Ari but all you gotta do is take a big sniff of this Hagrid I feel ever so magical

I bet you do lad are you as erect as I am Yeah That was Dumbledore That's John Littgow's Dumbledore Sheet, where's my good Yo, what it is, Bledon? Yo, Abrake of Jordans

Yo, who let this Budblad motherfucker up my house On my crib, Blad? Yo, there's two kind of wizards Dark wizard oh jesus all matter of fun to be had

I also just to we should have brought this up in the Patriot that would have been but anyway I also don't understand no oh man

we're going to get so many dumb internet sketches all that stuff oh I know yeah Black Snape he'd be like where's my gun you know and that's it you know

and they get like hundreds of views and everyone loves you know. Whereas you do it I don't get anything I don't even get any push I just the odd comment on TikTok fat and gay I'm not that gay

I'm a little gay it's a gland problem that's why I'm gay I have an underactive thyroid and I need to suck to help it to stimulate the hormones I'm sorry are you an endrochronologist

Do you know all the human body works? I didn't think so. Now pull out that pecker. I feel so healthy. I'm losing my mind. Okay, but we keep going. Yeah, yeah. Just in the interview.

Let's change the subject there. I'm laughing too much. Yeah, we don't want that. Yeah. Good call, Brian. I feel like the more fun we have, less fun they have. Right, okay.

Yeah, if you get me, yeah. Yeah, that's your rule in bed as well, isn't it? let's be somber here oh actually let's just change the topic now I was going to talk with Liverpool thing but I think we're laughing too much so just a segue I'll tell you something

I mentioned this to you before but I want to run it by you again so I was down in Carlo a few days ago right and my dad came to me he said the grave is dirty we got to clean the grave

now I thought he meant the headstone yeah that would be a normal assumption to me he meant the stones on the grave right all right so what he did is we got the JCB all right yeah and we drove into the graveyard all right just burst into the gates all right no one batted in high later it's like oh it's just jimmy old tool up to his old tricks there's a funeral going over there we're like get out of away we drive over like there's like they're lowering the coffin into it we drive over it

is her blasted the JCB song oh no come forth but that's brusely drive through the graveyard that he JCPy Remember that song? Fucking terrible, wasn't it? I hated that fucking song But anyway Well, so we get there And we get all the stones

off the grave Okay But when you're digging up the grave All right Yeah, it looks like You're digging up a grave Yeah, but also we're taking it all up You know, we're taking all the stones

Some soil as well Yeah, a finger We had some plastic down Okay, we took the plastic off as well To replace the plastic, you know, It's a whole thing Right It's just interesting

because like, oh, a few feet down there's like, so my grandparents died I think my grandfather died, I think the day after 9-11. I remember he said job done. I don't know what that meant. Yeah, so my grandfather died around 9-11, all right? And my grandmother died around the 7-7 bombings.

I remember. So both days were spoiled for me. I was having a great time, and then granny dies. Like, oh, I can't enjoy. enjoy this now either. Thanks so long. Oh, I thought you meant I was enjoying my granny dying. No, no, you're enjoying this. I can do a little trip to London now. Yeah.

So we get there. They're dead about 20 years. So I reckon skeletons or even dust. Would it be dust would do? I don't actually know. Like, and Look, ask, you know, Grock. Oh, ask Grock. Hey Grock, is my granny's, does she

dust? Yeah. What about the the coffin? Is it like a road away? I think it does, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But anyway. But anyway, the point is, so it's raining as well, by the way, yeah? I haven't really reacted to this. This is mental, by the way. No, it's not. And I don't want to disparage your mentally ill father.

No, it's not. It's bizarre behavior. You're just jealous. Yeah. Your daddy's above the ground. My daddy's cleaning the stones under the soil, you know? He's polishing all the worms. Yeah, think that's funny.

Look at him laughing at my pain. Oh, great. You know, some people play catch with their dad, you know. Yeah, so we dug up the, we dug up all the fucking stones, right? Yeah. In a JCB. Then we backed over, backed over some grave, all right? Some old bitty.

Ah, no. Mourning her dead husband. Drove over her, right? We drove back to the shed. Through all the stones in a fucking, an Irish dishwasher is what they call that, all right? Cement mixer. Yeah, exactly. I've never heard that before.

Have you know? Yeah. So, true in the cement mixer. Turned it on. Yeah. Put a lot of washing up liquid in. the cement mixer, right? It's a very dirty

smit mixer, so it's all cement in the... Yeah, you know, it's used to mix cement, Brian, not exactly the cleanest of jobs. And sometimes when, on the building site, you know, like, you know,

they're sick of shitting in a hole in the ground, okay? Yeah. They're sick of a big dump in the spent mixer, you know? Yeah. It's one of those, you know, you never worked in a site,

you know, they always play goofs on that on the sites. Yeah. Yeah, always really funny goofs. Like, you know, sometimes they're like, you know, hold a guy down and shit in his mouth. Yes.

Or sometimes like Don't tell your dad we did this. Hold the guy's wife down and then shit in his mouth while she watches, you know? Laughing her head off. She's into it. So yeah, let me just like dump the stones

back on the grave then. Yes. That is absurd. So just for anyone who's keeping track, you drive to the grave, you dig up the stones, you drive them to the site, put them in a cement mixer

with a bunch of fairy washing up liquid which you know what that doesn't the cement mix is going to be dirty no matter how much fucking washing up liquid

you put in it and then you bring the stones back to the grave and put them back on the graves that I just did and did they look any different not really no we've got to do it again next week

oh yeah just keep it going every week yeah I mean look my dad was like you know will you do this when I'm gone.

I'm like, of course, yeah. I'd probably fuck it up, you know? Yeah. You put his body in the cement mixer with a load of washing up. Just like a pair of legs dangling outside of. How are you married?

How are you getting done? Oh, yeah, just took daddy for a wee day out now. Yeah, yeah. Blow away the cobweb, says you. How's your daughter? She hasn't responded to my voice notes. Well, she'll be 18 soon. off. I'm sorry, I've got to get back

to the job here, Mary. And seen. Don't be distracting me. Another thing, okay, this is going to sound like the most, like, privileged complaint ever, okay? Like, no one's going to like me to say this, okay? But my mother buys me too much chocolate.

Yeah. It's like a disgusting amount of chocolate. I can't say no to her, you know? But, like, even when I was in school, I remember, like, I'd come home every day from school, and he'd be, like, a full Easter egg day or something. Like, you'd be like, like, literally she'd lead, like, seven kickats. Wow.

At my, I used to have a desk where I'd do my homework, okay? Yeah. She'd lead, like, uh, like, so I come back some weekends, all right? I don't touch the chocolate, so it's building now, all right? Oh. So now when I come home, all right, uh, like in my bedroom, there's like, about like nine Easter eggs, there's like, uh, I think like 16 packets of skittles. Wow.

There's like, uh, smarties, I mean. Okay. There's like so much shit there, you know. There's like a Santa chocolate that's still there, you know? Why don't you just eat some of it? I can't eat all of it. She wants to be fat. Yeah, exactly.

She wants to fatten me up. That's what she's doing. You know what else? I told you this before, but I didn't say on video, okay? My mother bought me a doll as well. Yes. To give to women. Yes.

She bought me a big Victorian doll. A toy doll. A creepy looking thing. Yeah, to give to women. So now she wants to be a fat pedophile. Essentially. And it doesn't, even if, like, you know, like, I give some,

like, meet some nice woman in the park, all right, you know? You know, some like, let's say it's a high-powered business executive, you know, like a 40-year-old woman, you know, and she, like, she's looking for the right guy, you know? She's walking fast, but you're so fat for all the chocolate and skittles, you're on your rascal scooter with her oxygen master. Get back here, bitch.

They're like Don Vino and Viva, Alabama, you know? Get back here, you fuck, bitch. shit on my face with your pussy You know Is this from mutter? Yeah You can't touch my chocolate Mother says you can't have chocolate

You can't have it when I'm done with it My mother's been dead for years My mother says no chocolate for you I mean it's kind of I suppose in a way it's kind of nice It's her showing how about give you the chocolate How you like that? I'd like that pretty fine actually

Oh right Well problem solved then Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just, I don't know. My mother's like, dude, don't give you that James boy. Yeah. He's trouble.

He does black voices. Hey there, Mrs. Othold is Brian here? I'm going to take them out. We're going to get high. And listen to some jazz music. That's what she thinks. That's the jazz. He shouldn't like that part, okay?

You're like, yeah, me and Brian are going to do heroin. We're going to rob a bank and listen to the jazz. It's like, oh. It better be La La La Land jazz. Yes. No coal trade in this house. By the way, let's move on something else again, all right? Well, I don't know. How are your parents' health? Surely they'll be dead soon.

Oh, man, they're healthy to fiddle. Oh, no. They look after themselves. They don't drink grinding, you know? Oh, God. They spend all... They're spending your inheritance on chocolate and Victorian dolls, you know? It's an investment. Yeah, yeah. Real quick, there's no good segue to this, but you know, like the Liverpool attack there again... I've been following up on the attacker, Paul Doyle, I think his name is.

Yeah, so... He's just a guy. He's just, and he just, they were, so from what I gather, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, so he was driving through, like, the parade of... He's some... We don't know exactly what happened. He somehow got behind, I think, like, an ambulance, something like there. Yeah.

And then it expazzed out and, like, hit a load of people. I think because he was driving down, like, a one-way street or something. So then all the Liverpool fans are, like, what are you doing, you fucking knobbed? Oh, don't be. Don't be blaming the fans. I'm not. You're like the sun now. And they deserved it

because they're on welfare. I took a wrong way, turned down benefit straight, yeah. But man, it's actually like the, have you seen like the media reaction

to all this? No. So first of all, of course, all the people on Twitter are like Muslim. Yes. It's Muslim.

That's, yeah. Oh, it's Muslim, isn't it? Yeah. And then when they revealed that he was a white guy,

yeah. Okay. All the kind of kind of racist people in line were like oh a bit weird isn't it? When he's white they all say he's white it's almost like they don't want me to start a race, why you? Hmm suspicious

hmm yeah what happened to freedom of speech yeah? Yeah but then like so he's a white guy now and then half of him are like no actually look at the camera that's not why yeah that's clearly Muslim look at he's got a Muslim kind of walk

about him yeah that's a black and white photo you're looking at Yeah, well. And so, was it that, like... I think they've charged him with, like, driving under influence with drugs. So he was on drugs? Yeah, yeah, to charge him with.

So, like, they find out he's white, and then all the papers are like, but he was a family man. He was a white guy. Yeah. Why would he commit a crime? Yeah. Yeah, but he had kids, and he was CEO.

He's a CEO. Like, so he was pretty wealthy. Yeah, nice big house and all this. They're like, what happened this poor? man. Why would he kill all those awful scousers? Why would those scousers... You didn't even kill them. You know, you know what?

We haven't heard. This is supposedly the, you know, empathy generation. Nobody's how much repair's going to cost on his car? In this economy, inflation and all of that. Yeah, it's pretty wild.

So let's say he's driving, he gets freaked out. Yeah. Like... No, they're all saying he has must have PTSD we may help him. He plowed through so many people and like he must have stopped like three times and then started to drive again just mowing people down.

Yeah. The video was crazy. It's a fucking miracle nobody dies. It's insane. It's fingers crossed. It seems like no one is going to die. Yeah, yeah. I know some people were a pretty serious condition

like a few kids and all that. Yeah. It seems like we're out of the worst of it now. obviously you don't know how bad those fucking injuries would be and just how like permanent they are when you get like when you sustain like a real like trauma to the body

like that there's going to be you'll heal up but you'll still have kind of pains for the rest of your life probably yeah so they're trying to get him now I think they've charged him with a certain amount of not like full on murder it's too hard to prove intent

for like second degree or something like manslaughter you know reckless endangerment. The fact that he had drugs in his system would mean he's culp... Like, yeah, he's going to do some... Oh, he's going to do life. Yeah. Well, I think it'd be quite indictment of system

if you just got out on a technicality and he's like, yeah. You know what I'm going to do now? Time to go for a little drive. Let's go for this spin. Oh, fucking up in my motor, lads. Yeah, so it seems like it was just a full-on mister, like, ooh's situation. Not to make light of it, of it, of course.

Yeah, well, look, here's the thing, okay, I think it's clear that, like, we're not, like, we're not pro the guy. We're not like, Paul, Paul Doyle. Yeah. But, like, you've seen that guy, Andrew, what's name, Andrew Lawrence? Yeah, the comedian.

Yeah, he was making fun of it. Like, the thing is, like, when a situation like that happens, okay, people aren't happy. Yes. Yeah, people, so they're looking for someone to blame, and especially at the time, didn't have a name, didn't have the name for Paul Doyle yet. Yeah, yeah.

So when this beady little eyed eye, Hunt stars tweeting shit he's gonna be like the focus of the anger you know yeah he's like he's a real GB News type chap Yeah he's got weird eyes It's Andrew Lawrence

That's the thing Yeah yeah He's got weird little beady eyes That's why I hate the most about He talks really weird He's like And yes It turns out that the black people

Are the reason for my small penis Black people commit crimes And miss penalties Yeah Like he's not what I expected because I heard about this guy, Andrew Lawrence, and he's like, you know, anti-woke and all that. But then he talks, a little gay nerd, like me.

Well, you know, there was actually, like, so I think I was around 2014. He, like, popped off on Twitter. Like, he had been on some TV stuff, like mocked away and Channel 4 shit. Then he went on this big tirade about the BBC, how they only hire, like, you know, women who aren't funny,

and like Asian and Indian like white comedians don't get jobs anymore and then fucking like I think there was like a little TV documentary by like Sky Arts Yeah he got a TV documentary out of it Yeah and like fucking Al Murray was sitting down with him It's like but when I'm doing the landlord

That's satire you see I'm being you know a facetious and ironic It's always weird to hear in Al Murray Talk normal you know Like I play the role Does the role play me Yeah And I tread the boards.

Yeah, so he was kind of like, look, I can see that you've got some funny jokes or whatever, but you know, you seem to have bad at tense, so I can't really get behind you, you know. Yeah, there's a bitterness to it, you know. Yeah, that's coming from us. Yeah, it's just, you know, now what does he do? Does he even do stand up anymore? Oh, he does, yeah. Oh, man, he's killing it.

Okay. He's making billions. Yeah, are you making this a clip? Because people will definitely come after us. like, oh yeah, typical fat pricks and something. I'm not fat. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.

Okay, well, I guess I can't really defend that one then. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'll have some fat free water. How about that? Oh, give you, have a chat every second. Yeah.

Ah, but yeah, fuck Andrew Lawrence. Who cares? Yeah, it's a good thing. Nobody died in Liverpool. The video was fucking crazy. No? Oh wait, yeah, shit, you're right, the stag. Yeah, I'm going on a stag. Well, it's the end of July. Boys on tour. Yeah. Lock up your daughters. It is going to be a lot of lads. And then I'm going to be there. It's like, the music's too loud. Oh, I have a headache. You're not excited for a nice big stag weekend. No, man. Have you ever gone on the stag? I have a few times, yeah. Yeah. Especially when it's like people that you don't know. See, my trick is I take

A large amount of drugs Just to talk to people Yeah That's it It's not even take drugs To go fucking mental Just to get through it And make eye contact

Yeah, I'll probably I haven't on cocaine in a while But I'll probably just do a load of blow And keep drinking until That'll be good for you I'm sad and everyone's afraid To leave me by myself, you know? No, I think you'll be the wild

You'll take a traffic cone You know, I'm like, ooh, ooh, it's like an erection And then I sit on it Oh, slides right, I think we're going to a strip club as well. I've never been to a strip club before. Man, strip clubs are such a rip-off. Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, yeah. Man, I'd say don't go to strip club. Well, I'm not in charge of, I don't...

Well, you take over, yeah. But you don't want to be the guys like, I've looked over the itinerary, and I don't think, you know, what about we go to the museum of modern art? Instead of a strip club, let's go something even sexier, a feminist bookstore. Yeah. And we can read Hillary Manxie. all night long and have I can't talk yeah let's get high on information yeah I don't know

look it'll be fun I'd say if I was you guys say going a strip club just get one prostitute yeah and just have a go on her all at once she's probably well used to it you know yeah yeah that's probably the way she likes it you know when we're all just

clawing at her like a pack of animals don't say that Oh, I'm sorry Oh, that's, yeah, of course No, you all be nervous, you know You'd be all like, can I go now? She's like, come on, come on. Lob it in me.

Can I hold your hand, miss? Do you want to watch a movie together? Yeah. Come on, well, we can watch Final Destination. The season finale of Doctor Who is playing in the local Odeon cinema. Oh man, if I watched that, wouldn't be able to get hard for a week.

Fucking, so be oppressed afterwards, yeah. Yeah, the new final destination, and I'm hearing good things about that. I love Tony Todd. I'm happy he got to be in one more. Yeah. Tony Todd is an absolute legend, Candy Man. Yeah.

He was in, I think, he was in one of the best episode of Star Trek ever. Oh, yeah. Right. Anyone who knows, knows, okay? If you're in a know like me, you know. Yeah, yeah. It's really good. It's basically, I won't be too hard to explain it.

It's a time travel thing where... I tell you, he's not looking too good in the final one. I mean, he was actively dying. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's funny in this one, right? There's a scene where death shows up. He sees Tony Todd. It's like, fuck.

in hell and he legs it he's scared you know he doesn't look good but again respect Tony Todd respected actor okay he's dying and he says I'll give it one more go for his franchise

no one's going to be mean to me you know yeah and along comes Cagin yeah here we go no sacred cows you're like Andrew Lawrence you know yeah

oh so oh just because he's a black man with the leukemia I'm about to treat him with respect Yeah, PC gone mad, in it. Okay, let's move on again. Something else again.

What? I just say, I like the Final Destination movies. We can talk with that in a minute. Just I watched something yesterday. I want to get out of my head before I forget, okay? Last, yeah, yesterday, I watched Lee, which is a movie that went directly to Sky Cinema. That's always a good sign.

Because it was so freaking good and powerful. it is a Kate Winslet vehicle directed by a first-time director and apparently they'd a lot of trouble funding it and during the funding they ran out or something went wrong so Kate Winslet had to fund it herself Oh like pay the salaries for like three weeks

But it's okay because she, you know I've got points on the back end so it's an investment Yeah, when it becomes a franchise Yeah, yeah So Lee is a movie about Lee Miller Not Johnny Lee Miller No unfortunately, not hackers

star Johnny Lee Miller So Lee Miller is a real woman Okay And she was a war photographer Okay Now I'm not gonna like Be little war photography But it's not like the most important thing

No But it's interesting It's an interesting thing You can do make a good movie Out of it all right Yeah This isn't very good And they do a really stupid

fucking framing device I won't tell you Because you're never gonna watch this Alright No I'm not So it's Josh O'Connor All right You know him

Who? Josh O'Connor Actor Big Star Literally everyone knows him. Are you saying his name right? Josh. How else could say it?

It's not like a Josh Sweden situation. No, but like it could be, maybe it's Jack O'Connell and you're saying Josh O'Connor. I don't know who Josh O'Connor is. It's actually Daniel DeLuis by saying. He's from the Crown. Look him up, you definitely know him. Josh O'Connell. Josh O'Connor.

Oh, okay. Yeah, look type, let's get a live reaction here. It's not doing it. Not porn, hub. John so bored Oh Okay Josh O'Connor

You look at him No Yeah he's a big star Some fucking big ear freak Fuck him He's a big star He's actually very handsome mad But I'm gonna die in this hell

Nice ears dumbo Yeah You get good reception On those logs do you By the way Everyone should be looking At a picture of Josh O'Connor right now

Otherwise you're not gonna get this bit yeah, fucking hell Nelly the Elephant fucking big-eared goofball He was in that film there Le Shimmera That's really good He was in Challengers

Yes Okay He's one of the main guy He's a big star Right Well if you say so Literally everyone and their mother nose apart from you

You know You got your head in the dirt Yeah I'm too busy watching old wrestling videos from the 90s You know Yeah

So anyway It's Josh O'Connor Right You really got me upset there. I was like, am I saying it wrong? Oh, fuck, I look like an idiot. I'm just saying, you know, it's... Josh O'Connor, you know him, you know? He was in the

Saltburn. He's from Dublin. There is a precedent that has been set now, I'm just saying. Le Petin Ningo. Right, yeah. So, Josh O'Connor's interviewer, right? And he's interviewing old Kate Winsley. I hate this. Instead of just getting some

old bitty, all right? It's literally like Titanic or character in Titanic. It's just old, it's Kate Wins had done old age makeup, all shit. Looking all fucking old. But it's clearly, like, it's clearly a woman in old age makeup, not an old lady, all right? And Josh O'Connor's asked her questions about her time during the war, she took pictures, all right? And then at the end,

it turns out, first of all, it turns out, he's her son. Oh, secondly, she's a ghost. Oh, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. She's an old ghost. And he's interviewing her, uh, metaphorically. So fucking stupid. Yeah, isn't it fucking, just, make a movie just have her young

than her old I don't need all this like oh my God what yeah she oh so it's

I watch every Halloween now it's so spooky the worst example that is when they made the Iron Lady

movie the Margaret Thatcher movie and the whole fucking film she's talking to her ghost husband

yeah it's always stupid when there's a ghost when somebody's talking to a ghost it's just like it takes you

out of completely, it, like, it de-legitimizes the drama. Yeah, yeah. Completely. That's when you hate the movie Ghost. No, I think that one worked, you know? Yeah, so that's a stupid framing device, right?

Also, not to be mean as well, but, you know, Kate Winslet is, I think, in her 50s, all right? Okay. And she's playing a young journalist in it. Oh, right. And then, like, at one stage, she's like, oh, I don't have children yet, but maybe someday. It's like,

Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, that's be mean. Well, you're probably pretty desensitized to seeing horrific, you know, looking things. Yeah, so she's a photographer. First of all, she's a model, all right? And she lives a bohemian lifestyle in France. She lives taking pictures, gets a job taking pictures in London, all right? Of course, she's during the Blitz.

You can take a lot of wartime pictures during that, all right? And she's, but, like, look again, like, you take a nice picture of, like, you know, a street, you know, It's a bit of rubble. Yes. It's like, oh, wow. Oh, it makes you think, don't it? Yeah. Ooh, bombs are bad, right?

And then, like, she's taking more pictures, but she wants to help out the war effort. So her, she'd be friends, Andy Samburg. Right. Of the lonely island? Yeah, of jizzing my pants, okay? So her and Andy Samburg go to World War II, like, they're in the active war situation, right?

And, like, she just, taking pictures during a war where they're like get down, she's like, no, I got to take my picture. She's knocking shit over. Just get in the way. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, but it's like, oh, I suppose it's interesting a bit, all right? And no offense to Andy Sandberg, but I just can't take him seriously in a

World War II movie. Yeah. You know, it's like, also, don't give him much to do either. A lot of shitty dialogue. And he's like too perfect to human. You know, he just shows up and he's basically just like, her bitch. He's like, let's do this. Right. We're doing this. We're going to the front. Okay. I trust you.

even though you're a woman, all your men are sexist. I'm not sexist. You're the bravest, coolest, smartest person I've ever known. You're a lot braver than any of these pussy. They've got guns and tanks. You're armed with the truth and virtue. That's basically, it's almost lying, Dale. And could you just touch my pecker, please?

Oh, I didn't mention she's got husband. Yeah. Played by Alexander Scarsgard, O'Connor. right yeah and he god love him he's doing english accents i think oh it's really not good at all um it's really distracting because he's doing where's he from like sweden or something yeah something like that yeah so he's got he's basically talking his voice and the occasional hint of english at the end okay we do this old chum uh yes let's do this tal tally ho you know it's like very distracting Let us go to the Greggs

Yeah, get the sausage rolls in it The efficient chips Yeah And then we will watch Anton Deck I love those two Jodys Yeah, saturday that tech o'er So good and funny, funny show

Yeah But this is a very weird bit I want to get your reaction to this Okay, so it's like obviously it's her in the war I will say I did like Because it was a pretty fucking lackluster, very dull biopic, all right? And it's very standard shit, right?

I did like how the American soldiers and the allies in general are portrayed a little bit negatively. I thought that was interesting, you know? That's something that I don't mention too much now. But for example, like, so they liberate France, okay? Yeah. One, the American soldiers try to rape a French girl.

Oh. Yeah, he's like, hey, we, I deserve it. He liberated her pussy, Mennetti. Why did you liberate my? my peck up from my slacks, honey. Yeah, let me put my baguette in your crassion. Ah, come on. Sockle blue, le beast.

Oh, you're so uncut, you know. But another, they do show, like, you know, you've heard the whole thing about, like, the women who are sleeping in the Nazis, they shaved their heads and all that. Yeah, yeah. They show that and they kind of, like, you know, her Lee Miller being,

be like, oh, it's sad. Let me take a picture. Yeah. Oh, God, a lot of the stuff was like, oh my god that person's dying let me take a picture snap snap bitch get the doctor

what the fuck you waiting for there is a bit where she didn't like the kind of like the you know make shipped hospital to set up all right just outside the actual battle itself right and there are people running around be like I need more morphine stats

oh god we're losing them she's like click and like they're bumping in and she's like excuse me I'm taking a picture alright click yeah it's also funny she's taking a picture of Vogue oh it's not like New York Times or anything.

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's like... Make sure you don't get any fatties in the frame. The editor's like, we want to take pictures of a hat. Why have you sitting in this picture of a Holocaust survivor? Wearing a hat. You know, and that's where heroin chic came from. Yeah, she took pictures of a person in Auschwitz wearing a nice dress and heroin sheik was born.

We love the stripes. Yeah. Oh, it's so slim. me. Yeah, but this is the really freaky bit. So in the movie Lee about Lee Miller, they liberate the camps and they get to Hitler's

house, right? Hitler's long dead now, the bunker, right? Mental health issues, all right? Well, if you believe that. Or he's off to Brazil either way, all right? It was Argentina, you idiot. Oh, okay, sorry. And then he gave Bert, he gave Bert, yeah. Yeah, keep on. No. Come on, no, this is it.

Improv 101 with Brian O'Toole. I'm really good at improv. Yeah, then he, uh, I know. Fuck, stupid. Yeah. No, stop the show. Give him a refund.

Everyone, get out. The show's over. Yeah. You try to be like Andy Kaufman and sit on stage reading, uh, fucking the Great Gatsby, but you're dyslexic and you can't do it. It's like, the, fuck, sick. The Great Gageby. Where's Decaprio?

so they liberate the camps okay yeah liberate yeah so they basically Hitler in the movie Lee okay Hitler's defeated all right and they go to his house all right and you know it's a kind of like you know nice house okay TV cribs yeah welcome to mine house

yeah this is where the magic happens but they go to his bathroom Hitler's bathroom all right this is actually true in real life all right Lee Miller goes to the bathroom all right they see Hitler's bat And by way, Hitler's bat, he's got a little picture of himself there. So he can be in the bat with Robert Duck, all right?

And then look at himself, like, oh, who's that handsome boy? Quack, quack, you know. But so, like, so they find Hitler's bathtub, all right? Yeah. And then Lee Miller in real life, okay, got naked and ran a bat and got on the bat, all right? What a fucking mentalist. Yeah, got on the bat. I was like, yeah, take that Hitler.

Oh, I'm in your bat. Is she Jewish? I don't know Maybe it's like an act of defiance You know as a Jewish person To be like We have dominated you It's a weird fucking choice

Either way But she black That's the only thing Like I think she felt You know I don't get how that's like a powerful moment But you're not Jewish I'm pretty sure

I've watched curb enthusiasm Yeah I know what it's like You know I've seen that I've seen Hey Arnold Rugrats They were Jewish as well

I've got a whole list of who's Jewish Nickelodeon yeah they were all Jews weren't they anyway I just thought it's a very weird thing it is a weird thing

I'm not you know yeah but like so any did she ever say why she did it or defiance and all that yeah like I just said

but you made me up to be an idiot no you know what just because she says and you said it doesn't we have to agree with it yeah well like defiance

I don't buy it though right okay you know yeah oh but then you You love her then. Yeah, I do. She's an icon and a queen, Brian.

Getting in Hitler's bathtub rubbing her stinky vans all over it. Yes, bitch. Fucking slag queen. And the whole, like, it's so powerful because she was covered in the dust from the chimneys of the concentration camp. And she washed off, literally, yeah, she washed off at Hitler's bathtub. Makes you think, didn't it? Uh-huh. Well, Samberg's there just jerking off.

J's in mine pants. dick in a box How are you doing time wise I get a bit sick of I feel a bit hot A bit sweaty, you know It's a bit warm Yeah

But we're nearly there You know You're right yeah Maybe don't let them know How you know Yeah I'm a real professional Like I'm like

You know like a presenter You know I'm not feeling it now You're talking Yeah you on the late late show Someone's talking about Or dead kids Oh this is depression

Yeah I'll bring back the two johnnies talking about chicken fillet rolls that's great that'll be gonna now two johnnies were in that movie's like now we're in Hitler's bathubs as I tell you Hitler he couldn't play county now

he was only about five foot four they're not playing county at five foot far by chicken fillet roll and the master race I'm not even joking because you know the way Connor McGregor wants to be T-Shok no one has to be president

there right? Yeah I would not be surprised if Connor McGregor did eventually become president All right Like people are always like You know Oh no

Because he needs this amount of People in the doll Whatever like that to have Like never underestimate How stupid and petty A lot of these people are Right And they might be like

You know See the tide turning Like Oh maybe I vote McGregor in I'll be cool He'll let me He'll let me do a bit of coke with him

Yeah Yeah He's really hogging it all At the Christmas party He'll teach me his Riz style Yeah Yeah, so I think honestly, the only hope we have If, like, McGregor's running for president

Is two Johnny's run as well Oh, okay. Together. Together? Yeah, yeah. Right. It's a two thing It's not like one's vice president, one. No, it has to be, they're one of a kind, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's, yeah. Would you be depressed if the two Johnny's broke up? Would it really rock your world? Like, I mean... Because you've based your whole life around them. Yeah, I suppose I have. I'll go along with this bit. You're right, bro. Brian, they're my favorite. I would die if they stop. I don't have any particular

hatred of the two Johnny's. If you honestly, I feel like some people going after them, it's a bit like, you know, come on, man, they're not hurting you, you know? Yeah, it's harmless, you know. I mean, it is a bit... Some people are really like, you know... Embarrassing and caricature-ish

and kind of displaying the worst most ignorant parts of our culture. You know. And it's destroying societies, you know. Yeah, yeah. But it's just a bit of crack. Yeah. I know some people who are real like, you know,

oh, fuck, every time I think about them just get so fucking angry, I just have to call in sick to work, just fucking... Like, I'm not like that. Like, I listen to their GAA catfish thing. And it was, you know, it was entertaining. And, you know, they kept it. They've got a good rapport.

They're bullying a woman or something. Yeah, yeah. A mentally ill woman. So, not even a person, really. That's your bread and beans right there, yeah? As the old saying goes, yes, your bread and beans. Well, done, Brian.

Yeah. That's your... That's your peanut butter, peanut butter and salmon. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. You fucking cun. I got nothing to get the two johnnies. You know, long may their rain continue.

It's a lovely day outside. Yeah? I might go for one of my signature long walks. Yeah, do that. Go for a long walk off a short plank. How about that? I tell you what, I am excited for, genuinely excited for, the Thursday Murder Club.

Okay. Yeah, it's a literary sensation. The Thursday murder book club, club, ugh. Oh, all right. Let's talk with something else. You have a cure Starmer. What about him? People keep saying he's gay.

Oh, yeah, the rent boy thing. Yeah, but it's funny. They're really going to detail about this. Is it Lord, what's his name? No. No, no, no. It's a, it's a refugee from Ukraine. Oh! That's what I've heard. So I've heard... And he set his, like, his car on fire and shit? Yeah, so I heard. I heard the whole Ukraine things cover up. Right. Like, there's no war over there

at all. No, no. Is this an excuse to funnel young boys to Kier Starmers gaffer? Yeah. Because there's no rent boys in London. Everyone knows that. I tried. I couldn't for that life a bit. I was a walker. round all weekend with a pocket full of cash and a scrotum full of jizz and I couldn't get rid of either one. You're in Greggs

be like, no rent boys at all. Why am I even here then? I guess let's eat all your food then is that. So, yeah, so they're saying that like he's banging this rent boy, young Ukrainian rent boy, all right? But then things turn sour. I think he wanted kids, you know, and Kirstammer didn't.

He wanted to get married. He watched Pretty Woman and thought it was a reality. Yeah, the young rent boys, like, you know, it won't hurt your political career, right? Come on. People of England, they're understanding about this. They'll love it.

Even the reform voters, they'll love it, right? So then it turns sour, now he's, like, burning down his car and stuff, okay? That's what they're saying. And his house as well? You try to set fire to his house? That's what they're saying.

And all these people online are like, yeah, it's true. I've got secret footage that I can't show you. But yeah, they're banging to her, you know? And Kierstarmory's a bottom, would you believe? he's a bottom and he likes to be bent over and he dresses up like you know

just William he's just William you know that he's a books just no what's that they're like a series of books no it's actually yeah he dressed up like a golly walk

oh yeah well that I'm familiar with yes yeah he dressed like a golly walk and then the red boy jabs his cock up his arms because it's a jam God. You see? See how that works? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, and they're going

to weird detail about this. Yeah, I was like when people post stuff in the comments like, I can't reveal my shows, but I've got it on good you forward, like, mate, you're just some random cunt in the comments, actually. Why would anyone believe you? I've got a secret source

that says Kirstarmer, buffdy. Yeah. Now, I can't reveal my sources, of course, but oh, ho, ho, when this hits the mainstream, or should I say lamestream media, things will change forever. I can't say much but I can just say

I know how Sir Trevor McDonald got his start now. Yeah. Let's say it was a backdoor agreement. I think I haven't been a great on this episode, but you've carried the show now. We've both been terrible. Keep taking a sulfidine. That's what I say.

I will. You can't stop me. They've tried. They've tried everything and I won't stop I've basically talked with everything I wanted to talk about really What was the Thursday murder club? What is that? I know I ruined it

Okay No I'll tell you what I'm actually not going to talk with Thursday Murder Club because it's the trailer it came out I'm going to go read the book Okay I'm going to read the book, get back to you By Richard Osmond

Yes yes Though I really don't like Yeah I don't know why but I don't like him He has a really popular podcast called The Rest is Entertainment Right right Which is very kind of middle class

and very like, you know, the story today and all the local all the gossip there, you know? He's one of those people that everyone's like, yes, I love Richard Osmond, but nobody can really... Someone said Richard Osmond should be the next Doctor Who

and oh my God, I literally puked right there and down, yeah. I just vomited blood everywhere. Is he even an actor? No. No. But they don't care these fucking cunts. I suppose, you know,

you don't really need to be a good actor, for that show, right, Brian? Oh, I'm going to throw up again. Just start self-harming on camera. Yeah, that'll be good. I mean, TikTok's changed now because now you can see bare tiddies and Holocaust denial.

That's all my algorithm is. That's all you're seeing. I mean, it's worrying. It's funny that you get that where I get all these, like, I'm no offence to him, but I get all these, like, old, like, you know, hey there, I'm doctor. who fan

360 and here's my tardis I made and it's like you know a can of beans you know where like a plunger stuck to it

and he's like yeah I spent munch working on this yeah the wife and kids left me by okay can't afford

chemo anymore but who needs it I can go back in time to when the world made sense before Richie Sunac

I so I tell you what I keep saying this boy I'm going to watch sinners at some stage Oh yes You know what is I kind of like I keep saying I'm going to watch sinners

But I'm like Oh no really be I need to like really Get ready for this You know So sometimes it's like You know I want to get it up on the big screen

And sit down with some popcorn And really enjoy Maybe find a special girl out there Watch it with her Yeah So still looking Yeah If anyone's out there

wants to, you know, anyone you know. I mean aren't you going to feel a little bit emasculated when you say you know, Michael B. Jordan up there and a wife beater with his muscles popping? No, I'm not like insecure like that, James.

In fact, I... You should be is the thing. Honestly, I'm not even joking. If I had a girlfriend, I would let Michael B. Jordan just absolutely pumper in front of me, all right? And I'd need a coffee to stay awake. I'd be so bored. Wow. Yeah. I'm So any special lady out there want to get with Mr. Wright?

Literally wouldn't give a fuck. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. I'd be more concerned if he was using my fleshlight to be honest, which I only worry. You're like, you're wasting time on her. You could be filming sinners too. Which they're commissioned.

Is that right? It's going to be a franchise now, yeah. Oh, very good. The Sinners universe. We might get spin off just about the Irish vampires. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, that'd be good. So I'll watch Sinners.

I'll read the Sunday Murder Club. Thursday Murder Club? Oh, God. It's really become my Achilles heel. I tell you, I did download a James Bond book. I didn't read it, though. Too distracted. That's all right.

You're going on your fancy walks about town. Yeah. Like a British dandy. I'm dressing all white. I'm like, oh, my lord. Like a big Victorian dress and white face with a rouge. Like Amadeus. don't take advantage of me

who-ho-hoo I tell you I did actually before I go I did go for a walk there and I was having a lovely time all right and then this guy this bald cunt

is just like walking and then he walks past me and looks at me which is okay I'm not like who the fuck you think you are show some fucking respect yeah but he turns around

okay I'm like I kind of nod at him all right and then he starts moving closer to me to kiss you I don't know what

I was like I was like I was like a bear puck her up no he kind of like and then they walked away again and then he went into his house I actually I did have a moment

of like I'm gonna knock in his door oh yeah I'm gonna knock in his door I'm not I'm gonna put my dick through the letter box it's my dick in a box yeah yeah I was thinking

you know but now you know where he lives yeah I still know where he lives yeah let's go right now man that'd be cool yeah what's your problem pal

you got something to say said by me yeah I'm hiding behind a bush get him James getting boss But then he just

kicks the shit out of me and says he's coming for you next and he said I got it easy in comparison

you're really going to get bent up like a pretzel he said it's going to be sexual and violent and anything

you're going to do an upcoming week you're working working tomorrow and the next day then doing a gig on Monday and then I might

go back to a morning and get my hair cut I uh I know that's, but my auntie cuts my hair and she's very, it's cheap, so I'll just do

that, you know. Oh, you pay her? Yeah. I wouldn't make... Well, she's, uh, you know, she runs a salon. Yeah, she's your auntie. Well, through marriage. Don't give a fuck. Okay. Yeah. I'll send her an invoice then for all the times I paid. Exactly. And I'll take

interest and inflation into account. Exactly, yeah. I'd be raging if my auntie... No, you have to. It's her business. Like, give me fucking money. Yeah. I've promoted them a podcast if you give me money but only the Patreon Yeah, yeah

But, so I don't know I'll, I'll do something I need to get some more hobbies and shit You know Well, what's the point? Just busy work until you're dead Yeah, exactly, yeah Yeah, yeah

Have a good look guys Goodbye