Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 259 : 28 Gays Later

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

Brian falls in love with Mr Alpha Zombie...

you were talking to somebody I know I was just talking to someone who was like tell me a funny story alright but it was his friend doing something basically illegal Ah Yeah yeah

Those are always the best stories It is funny Some lads are still in the past But I was like oh yeah Jamie was mad crack You know he'd go into the girls' bedrooms They were asleep you know And he put their hands in water

Then he piss on him That is pretty funny Yeah And they loved it Because they wake up They thought they pissed them themselves, you know, into their own mouths. And they're so worried about that, they don't even know I took a big shit in the cupboard.

And they're like, oh, where's that smell coming from? Yeah, well, we wouldn't do that, though. That's real frat-boy shit. I didn't do that in college. I was like, turn it down over. I'm trying to read Infinite jest. Be quiet. I've got, I'm trying to read my woman's literature. That's like the extent of your knowledge. It's woman. literature, but don't ask me any follow-up questions. Just touch my coffee. It's a novelisation of like an episode of murder she wrote.

Yes, I love women literature, yes. STEM. So, well, before we start properly, guys, I've got to say congrats to Zoran. Zoran won, okay? Head of New York. I think he's a king of New York now, all right?

He's Christopher Walker. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Hello, I'm Zoran. I'm, like, the Democratic male. I think it's real. It's bad. These Palestinian babies getting blown up. It's crazy.

You can't do that. Well, yeah, exactly. He's basically king of New York. Yeah. And Zoran, he got like trifecta. So he got like the Nick Mullen endorsement, stave endorsement, and the girl from Sex and City.

Which one? Cynthia Nixon, I think. Oh, the worst one. No, the best one. We're talking about. She is the stave of sex in the city. Yeah. Yeah, actually she is.

Yeah, yeah. The sexiest. Yeah. Like, so he, despite all the hatred and stuff, okay, he won, all right? So he getting a lot of hatred from... He was getting so many debt threats. From the Zionists. Oh, well, just a lot of people, you know, rich people like,

ah, I don't like him, you know, make taxes higher. Right. They make public transport free, all right? There's actually a thing with Zoron where... I can't, every time you say Zoron, I just picture Zordon from Powering Rangers. We must stop the Zionists. Go, go, power, Rangers. Well, that's why people voted for him.

Alpha's running out. Hi, aye, aye, the Zionists. And Rita's there like, I've got to stop those Palestinians if it's the last thing I do. Rita's like the Benjamin Net and Yahoo, you know. Go, go, go, Hamas, Rangers. But, man, they actually, speaking of Hamas, okay, they actually did like a thing where like the Cuomo people, all right. We're putting out these

pictures of Zoron but they made his beard more Muslim Oh yes. Yeah, they made him look more evil all right, yeah. It's just got a Quran sticking out of it like you know. And he's got a sinister smile, you know? And they also rolled up in his back pockets

the blueprints for 9-11 and they also have like they had him on Cole Bear all right. I was shocked by how racist this is okay. So he's on Cole Bear, right? I thought I had you, I desensitized you completely, but there are some things, yeah. So Cold Bear is like, okay, so you're a Muslim, all right?

I got to ask you. Sorry, sorry, it's a totally unrelated, a gag reflex. No, he's like, you're a Muslim, so does Israel have the right to exist? Go, yeah, I caught you there, didn't I? Oh, yeah, you don't know what to think, you're on the ropes? Yeah, so he's over and's like, oh, yeah, I do, yeah. say, oh, all right, yeah. Well, what about all the Jewish people

who are scared? Do you care about them, do you? If you did care, you wouldn't be a Muslim, would you? Yeah, so it got you there. Yeah. It's a lifestyle of choice that we know, I don't approve of. Yeah, but it is literally like, if you were like,

oh, so you're black? What about the whiteys? They're scared? Yeah. What about the Brian and James out there? They're hiding on the, you know, hiding into crying like a little girl. All the honkies that are afraid,

You and your brother's going to run a train on some hose. Those women are the daughters and sisters. Not sisters like you say it. You're just going to have your way with them, are you? Yeah. And, you know, the conkeys are just supposed to sit there and groove on it. Yeah, I haven't seen the clip of Colbert. I must lock it up, though.

Yeah. Because I hate Colbert so much. Well, there's also a thing where they had like, this is a while ago now. is that all the people trying to be mayor, all right? And they were asked them, literally asked every one of them, if you could go anywhere in the world, okay, as your first visit, where would you go? And it's like, Israel.

Israel, I've been to Israel, I want to go again. I've been to Israel five times. They're trying to want to be each other, you know? I go to Israel every other day, all right? And that's not enough if you ask me. If I'm the mayor of New York, I'll be in Israel every single day. As soon as I step off the plane on my feet touch the Holy Land, I comb so hard.

I call it jizrael because I just bust a nod as soon as my feet hit the holy land. You're the clip of Arnold be like when I work out, I'm coming, I'm coming. When I'm in Israel, I'm coming. I get a good pump in Israel, yeah.

It's a good pump. Yeah. And in Zoran's terrible Arnold impression. I was going to say it, yeah. I was going to call Arnold to be like, James let you down. But he, yeah, Like Zoran's like, well, if I was mayor of New York

I'd focus on New York, we'd be like, oh, that's the most anti-Samek. I'm actually scared. Yeah. He's basically said, I'm building a train. Yeah, to the camps. That's what you're saying, you know? Hitler 2.0.

We got Muslim Hitler in the house. Yeah. Holocaust 2, electric bugle Jew. And he's, what? No, it's a good wordplay. I thought so, yeah. A regular Oscar Wild. Thank you.

Thank you. What are you going to say? I'd have something stupid. Sorry, sorry. I'm trying to be, I'm trying to sound smart, you know. Yeah. And I just ruined it. With your funniness.

You shouldn't do that, right? Oh, you're right. Next time we'll do a little sit. If you think of something funny, okay? Dude, give me a little hand signal. And write down a bit of paper, right? Just write down a bit of paper, slide it over, and I'll review it, right? I'll have my team look at it.

Okay, right. I'll do that. Yeah. So, yeah, Zoron. a big good news it's very fun doing a podcast as you

because like if I'm if I'm too quiet you're like oh you're not good energy

but then if I'm too over the top it's like oh great so you're just talking over me imagine

dating me that got too real so congrats to Zora he met his wife on Hinge that's how young he is

young and cool right 33 yeah what did you 35 oh my God, yeah. You could be Muslim right now.

30? I'm 30. I got time. I could still be Muslim. I could still be a Muslim mayor, New York. It's still a good chance. Now, if you become... Don't shit on my dreams. If you become Muslim, do you have to throw yourself off a roof, or how does that work? Hey, oh. Come on, Jay.

Come on, what? 35, I can still get one over you. This old dog's got a few tricks. Boy, it's like, you trick to retard there. I got a trick someone. It's like we know when they go to colleges and, like, you know, They debate like some like Charlie Kirk. Yeah, yeah.

The debate, someone's like, oh, you're clearly emotional and stupid. And I just beaten the bait in debate. That's what you do to me, all right? I'm the little non-binary, you know, a person who's like, like multiple issues and is crying all the time, pissing myself. You know, like, oh, I guess I've beaten you again

in the game of wits. The Moriarty to my homes. Yeah. Well, I just changed the topic there completely. So we'll talk about 28 years later in a minute, all right? But I went down a little weird rabbit hole where I was looking up So you know the way Netflix are doing a Narnia movie

I didn't know this? Yeah, so Netflix are doing big budget Narnia movies, we're going to do all seven bucks I think it's seven, all right? And it's going to be like a big budget blockbuster with like Greta Gerwig directing and all that You know, it's a big big deal, okay? Don't be like, oh, so excited apart from Greta Gerwig

You know, I was already had my Mr. Tomius hat I actually I don't know the Narnia lore very well Who's the lion? Aslan Yeah

Who's Jesus Oh okay He represents Jesus Right See C.S. Lewis was Christian So a lot of stuff In his work

That is Christian influenced Right Right Right okay So I don't know So does Aslan die And come back to life then Yes he does actually

Yeah Yeah And Santa Claus is there as well Oh Yeah That's cool Santa represents I don't know

The Virgin Mary I suppose Yeah, he gives gifts. Ah, the gift of life. Yeah, or a train set or PlayStation 5. Yeah, it links up, okay? Yeah, you leave out some milk and cookies because, you know, the ladies love their sweet treats, you know?

Yeah, you want to get a little, you want to give you a present, you got to give them some sweet treats, you know? I don't think he intended that. And then, uh, yeah, and you put something in their stockings. Oh, yes. C.S. Lewis know what the fella's like. So, I'm trying to look up some C.S. Lewis stuff, all right? Because I read the Narnia books years ago, but I don't remember them too well.

I remember, I think when as a kid, I thought they were fucking stupid, because, like, Santa Claus shows up, and at the end, they're all in heaven. Oh. Yeah, they're all in heaven, and, like, the line is Jesus and all that. I was like, oh, this is kind of stupid. I didn't like my fantasy that fantastical. You were two Bill Hicks. Exactly. I was watching Bill Maher and stuff. Actually, the line doesn't exist.

You can't go into a wardrobe, actually. No, but you can stay in the closet for years. Am I right, Tom Cruise? Oh, I'm so funny back then. Oh, wow, that was pretty good, actually. Oh, wow, really? I was having to be like a hack thing, you know? Yeah, I love that. And the seals clap for it. Yeah, yeah. But I tell you what I also read when I was a kid. I read the Narnia books. I didn't really like him.

I also read the Space Trilogy Here at the C.S. Lewis Space Trilogy. Okay, right. Well, the point is, I was looking up this Narnia stuff. I found the C.S. Lewis podcast. Wow. Yeah, so it's the C.S. Lewis podcast. They're on season 7 at the moment.

Right. They've done over like 300 episodes. Wow. And it's so funny listening to them because they are like, like, it's their world. They go to CS Lewis conventions and stuff. Holy shit.

Yeah, which is, that's worrying. Yeah. The FBI should investigate that. I didn't know those existed. They definitely shouldn't. Yeah, they're not on the websites. You know, like, these are really off the books. This is some dark web shit, right?

Yeah, man. They meet like an underground car parks and traveller halting sites. Oh, look at that down now. The CS Lewis, the CS Lewis, boss. They're fucking bad in the head over down now. They're absolutely meant. My big fat C.S. Lewis wedding. Anyway.

But, uh, the point. is, all right? Like, I was listening to some of their podcast and they're so like dismissive everything else. Some people say C.S. Lewis was bad and these people just can't handle how brilliant he was. And it's just, you know what it is? It's anti-Christian rhetoric. That's all it is. They don't understand that the line the witch in a wardrobe is one of the most important pieces of fiction ever written in the distance, the Iliad. You know, they're really into it. Okay, so obviously then the diehard C.S. Louis

fans is a big crossover with like hardcore Christians. Yes, yeah, yeah, right. In fact, one that guests they had on had written a book about C.S. Lewis and Jordan Peterson. Wow.

About how they're both great minds who were persecuted within their times. Yeah, yeah. So that gives you an idea of what I'm talking about. The bloody cultural Marxist don't want you to get in the wardrobe. Well, that's what they're doing.

They're hiding in the war. drove the real world's out there, buddy. And it's not going to bloody stop for you. Yeah. I was like, you know what? I was very proud of myself. I'm not going to listen to this. I deleted it from my phone.

After 12 and a half episodes, I'm like, no, no more. I went outside and touched grass. And I ran back inside. I need more podcast. Grass is the name of the mentally ill man who lives in my neighborhood. And I touched them but good.

Now, there was the Narnia movies that came out, like the mid-2000s, right? Did you ever watch them? I did. Don't remember him. The only did, like, three, I think. Yeah. The first one was a pretty big deal. It was a pretty big budget, too. I remember thinking or remembering it was a big deal.

I didn't watch it now. But again, I never read the books. I have no, I'm not invested. It's a shame, because I do want to see them do the further books and see them get, like, deal with the whole kind of Christian imagery. of the whole thing. Okay. Like, I think if I remember correctly, they die in a train, spoiler alert.

They die in a train crash and then they go to heaven, which is Narnia. Right. I think that's how it works. But I think one, the girls is a big slot, so she doesn't go to heaven. She held a boy's hand in public, so. That's not me saying she's a slot. I think they, in the novel, like, she's more interested in parties and boys than hanging out with the line and Mr. Tomness.

Oh, what a... Who's Mr. Thumnus? He's like the James McAvoy character. Oh, the goat thing. Yeah, the goat, as they say. When they meant, you know, like, messy the goat. I'm like, no, that's Mr. Tumnus. You idiot.

And the lads kick me out of pub. I'm not good of football talk, you know. Footy banter, yeah. Wait, so they go to heaven that's Narnia, but don't they get to Narnia through the wardrobe as well? That's explained in the prequel book, The Magician's Nephew. Okay.

Which I actually read, I remember liking that one. Right, okay. That is like a magic tree, and cut down the tree and turn into a wardrobe. Oh, yeah. Oh, the tree was magic. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I tried to catch you out there with logic.

Oh, it's well prepared. It's to wake up pretty early in the morning to defeat my retardism. Yeah, yeah. Well, you got me. Yeah, let's talk about something fun, all right? Let's talk about 28 years later. All right. Which is pretty good

Yeah It's not great I have some issues The writing and all that But the direction is fucking Danny Boyle is great To be honest I've heard so far

Nothing but good things Like very pot Like glowing reviews I would say Yeah I wouldn't fucking I wouldn't give it like Five stars But it's really fucking good

Yeah It's very fun All the problems I have with it Are writing based Okay But like Oh there's so many cool scenes See on a big screen

If you can I watch it on my phone On the bus I watch a cam version On my phone while drunk and eating a cab but I loved it getting bullied by the teenagers

in the back I look at the fucking stave him he fucking stinks of peace he looks like your dad doesn't he just because I pissed myself

the kids are so mean about it and I'm like I'm trying to enjoy Danny Boyle you Philistines you're not in Philistine are I we're Zionists fuck you and the Philistines

he's deserve it Those teenagers made a joke about Philistine and Palestine. Fuck, that's good. Wow. These are a lot cleverer than the scum I grow up with. Yeah, so I was watching 20 years later. I'll describe the plot, so you get an idea of what it is. You're going to watch it, are you?

I probably will at some stage. No, don't bother. I'll describe it to you. Okay, that's better. That's even better, yeah. So. I can picture it in my mind's eye. It starts off. There's kids watching telitubbies.

Right. Okay. And then the zombies come. And one little kid escapes, runs to the church, his dad is in. And the dad is like, no,

this is a sign from God. These are, they've come to cleanse the earth. Right. So the son runs away and the dad lets himself get eaten by zombies. He's like, yes, please, yes.

Legend. Feed on me, you know, he's loving it, all right. He's gotten a sexual thrill out of it. Right, right. And then we cut to 28 years later.

okay that's titled film there you go yeah yeah but so this is like what we saw was there even before

the events of 28 days later yeah exactly yeah yeah so that was day one shit right there yeah

yeah and now we cut to 28 years later and there's a little island community near England

and they're kind of like self-reliant okay so they have their own little community and Aaron

Taylor Johnson's there and his son Spike and his wife, okay, played by Jody Connor, I think. They called her son Spike because they called him after how he was conceived

when I spiked your mother's drink and impregnated her. Oh, no, they love each other, James. That's pretty good, I thought that was all right, come on. No, it was actually spiked from Buffy, all right? That's way more problematic. And you knew that, right? So, but there's a tradition on the island

where when the sun is 12 years old, you take him to the mainland and you get him to kill a zombie. Right. It's like their bar mitzvah, essentially, right? Yeah, okay, so he brings the sun out, and the first 30 minutes are Aaron Taylor Johnson and his son. All right?

So they see some zombies, they shoot them. There's one zombie who's an alpha, and they're smarter and stronger. Wow. Yeah, so while their zombies is kind of brain dead, you know, like with the rage virus. This one will actually like wait for you

and it will command other zombies to go after you. Wow, okay. Scary. So they've evolved. Yes, only some though. Yeah. All right.

So then they, at one stage you almost get caught but they escape, of course. They hide out in a house for a while. They find a really kind of fucked up thing where there's a guy hanging from upside down all right with a bag in his head

and he's an infected and Jimmy's written on the wall. Jimmy's. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, that's like the tag. So there's some group going around killing people, then letting them get infected, all right?

It's kind of doing weird shit to them, all right? Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, that's weird. It's worrying. Oh, well. So after a tense, a bit of running the way to get back to the island. Did the kid kill any zombies? Yeah, he did, yeah.

Good. So he's a man now, all right? Yeah, yeah. And then they have a big party. All right. I did say, I do like the people in 20 years later. They're just like drinking beer. or just like having a normal life.

Like does this lads down, they have like a pub, they're drinking like, way, fuck it, yeah, you know? Like, nothing's really changed for them at all. It's like,

and just drink beer down there. This is a fucking class, actually. And you know what? It's great. There's some streaming services. It's all physical media. They've all got Blu-ray collections. You're all lads of Blu-ray collections.

Like, you laughed at me, didn't you? Now you're all sucking me off together. In the land of the blind, the one-eye. Blu-ray holder is king. I got a Blu-ray here of the land before time. You want to see it, do you? I've got Blu-ray and Blue Balls

so we can help each other out here. Come on, love. Yeah. You want to watch Sex in the City. Let's do some role play. Sex and City, one and two. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, bring your sister.

Get ready for the live action edition. So the next bit, all right? So far, so good. Now, what I didn't like, all right, is I didn't mention his mother, Spike's mother, is sick, okay, but she seems to be sick in the head and the body. So she's tired, she's poorly, but she also doesn't know where she is. Oh. She doesn't know who she is where her son is, anything like that. So she's got almost like dementia, all right, even though she's like in her 30s.

So I was like, oh, what's going on here? She's gone mad, is she dying? What's happening? She's got brain rot, too much TikTok. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. Too much Blu-ray, all right? So, but so then we find out there's a mysterious doctor

who lives on the mainland, all right? And he is a doctor, all right? But he's weird, like, he burns bodies. He goes around burning bodies, he collects them and he puts the skulls into like, he makes towers out with skulls and stuff. Whoa. Yeah, he makes like buildings out of skulls.

Punk rock, dude. Yeah, he makes like Stonehenge out of like, yeah. It's like heavy metal, dude. Chocolate, start. You know, he's doing it. So, Aaron Taylor Johnson's like, yeah, we're not going to him. He's fucking creepy.

Sure. Don't trust him. But then the son's like, oh, no, I'll just sneak out. So he sneaks out with his mother. He brings his like doolally mother to the mainland. In the skull tower. Yeah. But like, so I'd never got a sense of how dangerous the mainland is because it's this, the kid, or he's like 12,

he brings his mother who's basically incapacitated in the head and it's tired she's fucking dying essentially all right and he just seems grand you know

every now and again you see the odd zombie and you shoot him but for a long time it's great okay I didn't like the mother she didn't mean much to do

she's like where am I Spike who's that you know right but then there's like a group

of soldiers in Sweden and they get washed up on the island Hello, we are Swedish, please to help you. Yeah, that's how they said. Would you like some Swedish meatballs? Oh, speaking on meatballs, they're meat one, the alphas. There's a zombie in this, all right?

It's literally, I think, it's like about 20-inch cock. Wow. Yeah, it's a massive penis. Jesus Christ. Huge. It was terrifying. Yeah. I ran out of the cinema, screaming, okay?

Like, so it's a big zombie, all right? And it's like running at the kid. And you cannot. help unnotice, all right? Like I was like, like staring at it. Like a pendulum. Yeah, yeah. It's like a metronome.

It's swinging around the place. Yeah. And it's terrifying. He's chasing after the kid. He's like, and the mother's running towards the cot. Like, finally, that's her problem. She's a size queen.

And she hasn't been gaped out in years. So she's gone mental. She needs that big fucking 20-inch zombie cock. No, they don't like that. It's like catnip for her. Mommy, no. Zombie, zombie, zombie, cock, cock, in your head. In your ass, zombie.

That's not the lyrics. Sorry. That's pretty good. I thought I liked it. It'll toot your own horn there. Very good there, lads. you might as well retire now yeah yeah actually know the good day is work done there right so they're running away from the zombie yeah they have to escape from the zombie

cock yeah uh they find a pre this i didn't like this now they find a pregnant zombie so the zombie's giving birth and instead of run the way they're like oh the miracle it's helper right so they help give birth to a baby and the baby's normal spoilers by the way yeah But like, yeah, so it's a zombie The baby's normal And they're like Oh, let's protect it And the Swedish guy's like

We need to shoot the baby Uh huh They're like how could you You monster Like I'm fully with the Swedish guy Yeah I would shoot the fuck out I would have bought the fuck out of it

I would have bought the fuck out of it 100% like yeah Yeah Pro choice all the way Yeah exactly And you know a Swedish guy He gets his head ripped off By the zombie

With the 20 inch cock Oh Yeah And his tailbone It's pretty cool Like his spinal cords fucking swishing around the place. Oh, that's cool, yeah. I know it's very annoying. The

cock is still bigger than his spinal cord. You know how frustrating that it is? Amasculating that is. Wow. So they're running away from the big zombie and then they find, this is another bit I don't really like, but you have to kind of accept, I suppose. They find Ralph Fines. He's the doctor, right?

Ah. Not Doctor Who. I wasn't thinking. Okay. No one was thinking. You weren't thinking that? You're never thinking. Like every movie with a doctor, you're like, yes, he's the island of Doctor Who Monroe. Like, there's no woman like collapse on the street.

And so like, we need a doctor here. And like, oh, he's coming, is he? Is it David Tennant, is it? Every time you walk past a phone box in public, like, ah, the tortoise. It smells like urine. Space urine. I just get bummed by a hobo in a phone box. so he's been living out in the wild

essentially Ralph finds for like 28 years he's grand he just he has tranquilizer darts he shoots the zombies way so he lives amongst them oh he covers himself with iodine iodine repels the zombies yeah

which is pretty I feel like if he knew that should tell people yeah and everyone should start wearing iodine yeah exactly I don't know save a lot of lives. It's like garlic with vampires. And how would you figure that out?

A lot of trial and error. Are you just drenching yourself in iodine one day? It's like, hey. It's something to get my rocks off, you know? Because I remember, I mean, you might be too young. Do you remember when the Irish government sent out iodine pills? Yeah, that was for the zombies. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Exactly, yeah. Well, didn't they go off very quick? I'm not sure. What was that for? What was the... A nuclear explosion. Yeah, was it Selafield? was that it?

That's it yeah so they think like if a nuke it does explosion alright

like a Chernobyl situation yeah yeah and everything's destroyed or right or someone

drops a bomb in Ireland yeah take a little ionide pill you're sorted it's like flat seven up

what whey just sit back relaxed that's all yeah yeah yeah Calpall

flat seven up iodine pills that's all you need to survive a nuclear holoca that's like

something that's like a bit fucking Jason Byrne would do Probably more funny and charming When he does it No, I refuse to believe such a thing But yeah

So then the doctor Ralph finds Does a check of the mother Turns out she has cancer Okay I don't know why the cancer would affect her brain Does cancer affect your brain? If you have a brain tumour I don't think she has a brain tumour

Okay Maybe she does Well if it's a thing maybe cancer, I mean, it can spread. Yeah. So if like, it could have been a thing that's started in her head and is like spread to her body. Yeah. If it goes untreated. I thought it's meant

I laughed. I don't think you're supposed to laugh but like the mother's basically, oh, I've cancer. I don't want to, I want to die slow and painfully. I want to die quickly. Yeah. So Ralph finds like, okay, and just like shoots through a blow dart. Nice. And then she dies and he's like

the sun has to burn her and put her skull on a tower of skulls. It's meant to be like closure. I don't think that's good for you. I don't think so. No, my mother hasn't died yet, so I don't know. You're one of those.

You're one of the Gen Z, you know, mental health, you know. Oh, yeah, you burn your mother's body and put her skull on the corpse. I've got complex PTSD and trauma, intergenerational trauma. Why don't you grow up, Paul, all right? In the real world, you burn your mother's body. put her skull on the tower and you get gaped out by a 20-inch zombie cock. That

is life. We've already done one of those things. Yeah, yeah, and it shows. What are we out there? I'm going to just vamp for a second there. Next we're going to talk about guys. Sorry, I'm talking about the ending. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. I thought you're just going to leave it on a cliffhanger there. I need

to know what happened to the zombie cock. I want to get a look at the zombie cock now. Also, you kind of prick-teased us a little bit with the jimmies. Get back to the jimmies, Brian. All right. I mean... So... You should have said spoiler is at the start of this. I said I described

the plot. Fuck you. No, I said I described the plot. Yeah. Fuck you. That's what he's saying. No, I just said I described the plot. He's got nothing but contempt for all of you people. I'm actually very annoyed right now. Sorry. Yeah. Why would they see that? I was just joking. They shouldn't see that.

I was just trying to have fun, Brian. No, the worm is turned. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so the, I think that you could say something of trying to be smart, which I'm not, all right, but you could say something where like 20 years later, it's a lot of folk horror kind of stuff in it, like weird kind of stuff, kind of similar to the Wicker Man.

Right. And then it ends with the appearance of the Jimmies. Yes. Who are Jimmy Saville's. Yeah. There's a Jimmy Saville cult, which is kind of like modern horrors of Britain. Yeah.

If you were trying to be smart about it. Yes. Yeah, so it's like, Jack O'Connell leads, he's the little kid to start the film. Right, okay. And Jack, just watching Jim will fix it? No, he's watching telitubbies, but yeah, he, uh, he, um, he kind of like

has starred his little cult and ends on it to be continued essentially. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I don't know where it's going to go, but I tell you, I do respect the audacity of Danny Boyle. That's pretty, like, yeah. That's pretty out there. It's like a very off the wall.

We're doing Jimmy Saville. Not like, oh, it's a little bit like a kind of reference to Jimmy Saville. No, this is full on. They're called Jimmy's. They're dressed like Jimmy Saville. They've all got the shell suits of the white hair. It's Power Rangers Jimmy Saville, all right. Now, if you wanted that for years, like me, okay, for years I wanted that.

And Jim fixed it for me. And now I have it. I'm so happy. Man, in this movie, we got Jimmy Saville. Yeah. All right. Already happy, okay? I'm already smiling.

But we also got massive 20-inch zombie cock. I am like a pig and shit. This is still happy. The movie's called 28 years later, because Jimmy didn't like anything that was 28 years. Now then, now then. That's a bit too old for me. 28 was like an old maid to Jimmy.

I'm not shagging any grannies in an old folks home. So yeah, I think overall, apart from like a few little problems, like the script and stuff, I liked it. I like Danny Boyle Alex Garland I kind of I'm interested

the next film because next film is not Danny Boyle it's Nia da Costa Okay and then part three will be Danny Boyle again Oh wow

Yeah so I want to see Where to go And Killian Murphy is Now it's not a spoiler Because I don't know now But I think I've heard Danny Boyle say That he shows up

Later on the film series I want to go back And what 28 days later again I love that You know I don't think I've ever watched the sequel I watched a bit of it here with you

but I was talking over it Oh it was fun though Oh man The sequel's really fun Because the whole kind of premise Is Robert Carlyle Ditches his wife Yeah

He's like oh sorry And runs away He just legs it And he's like Yeah kids Your mother died Yeah I was trying to save her

Because I'm so brave Yeah I also have a big cock Like that zombie Yeah But then the mother shows back up Yeah she's alive

It's almost like a sitcom premise When the mother shows up And the kids are like Dad, you said Ma died. No, I didn't now. You must have misheard me. I said it's like she died, you know.

But didn't you say that like you were fighting off all these zombies just by yourself with your bare hands and she left you for some black guy? Yeah, yeah. Dad, we know you don't have a big cock. You show her to us every night. It's perspective.

It's an effect of the rage virus. Then we shriek it. Yeah, it's very, very funny, Dad. I love 28 days later as well because I forget, like, at the end it's like an action movie. Yeah. Where it's like, it's like horror film

and then it's a bit of fun, you know, you've seen them, remember like they're shopping together as like Brendan Gleason, you have a good time? And the daughter. Yeah, yeah. And then it becomes like a fucking like, almost like Rambo or something.

Yeah. Whereas all these evil British soldiers and then one Irish guy, Killian Murphy, just, yeah. Going full IRA on them. Pretty much. Our day will come, you know.

Chucky our law. And it's Christopher Eccleston as the English. Our day will come and you, your cock, won't. Because they're rapacious British soldiers. What's that mean? They want to rape. Oh, right, okay. Oh, is that what it means?

Rapacious, isn't it? Jesus. I think so. I don't know. You brought up. I believe that. You'd be going dictionary corner, you know. You like with Rachel Riley.

Yeah. Dictionary corner indeed. No, it's Susie Denton Dictionary Corner Oh, I wouldn't know Ah, I'd still sling one up or why not, you know, I'm a feminist Disgusting, disgusting stuff Yes, 28 days later, very good, very good film Yeah, I'm looking forward to it now

The next thing I want to talk about, alright? So we didn't get to see much of the Jimmy's then Just sort of a reveal It's only like the last like five seconds really Yeah, right. What are you going to talk about next now? I didn't really do much I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I watch Final Destination as well.

Oh, nice. Final Destination, I've had a great time. 28 years later, great, okay? Final Destination Bloodlines, great as well.

That's good to hear. It's such a fun time. And it's so different than, remember I told you with the monkey? The Osgood Perkins movie. Oh. That's the same kind of thing,

right? It's a monkey that collapsed. With Theo James. Yeah, yeah, playing twins, okay? And that's the same kind of thing where it's like these funny deaths, all right?

Okay. But the funny deaths in the monkey, which I didn't love, are all kind of like, oh, there's a harpoon there, and then, like, a bowling ball knocks over, and the harpoon goes off and goes in someone's head. Like, it's pretty lazy stuff, right?

Oh, someone accidentally glued a gun to the door, right? And then, you know, a bird came down and pulled the trigger. It's like stupid shit. Whereas, like, final destination, especially as it goes on, it's like a bait and switch, like a misdirect.

Yes, the fun is, like, the kind of rude goldberg kind of stuff where it's like, yeah, And they're just a Muslim comes up and shanks some then. That's how everyone. After, yeah, that's the 9-11. But yeah, and they're really play, especially this one, they're really playing with it

where it's like, you know, is that going to kill them? No. Is that going to kill them? No. And then it gets it. And some of the stuff is... Chokes on a sandwich. Yeah, and some of the things, they really know what they're doing and it's like really funny stuff. Like one bit is like, in the background, someone gets hit by a ball, goes to a bin,

and the trash can comes and, like, puts the bin in it and crushes there. Real stupid shit, but they know what they're doing, like I said. Because they know it's like people, they're having fun with it. I think, like, you know, what the franchise kind of copped on pretty quickly is that people in the cinemas are, when they're watching it, they're laughing a lot of the time. And they're having fun with it. It's kind of like, yeah, let's go, you know. You would have a lot of fun cinema watching this.

Like, even like the start of the new Final Destination, they have like, they're kind of big mobile. moment, like the plane crash in the first one. Yeah, yeah. It's like this big tower, all right, and everything goes wrong. And some people are falling to the ground. Some people are, like, on fire. Some people are, like, getting cut the pieces, getting cut in half. Just pianos falling in people.

Like, it is just a... Chaos. Yeah, a great start, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's a few debts. They're a little bit, like, overly CGI. But it's almost like... We have the CGI debts.

It's like a budget thing, so we can focus more on the really cool, practical effects and the deaths and stuff and like I had a great time fucking watching it man you could see Tony Todd again oh yes in his final movie RIP Tony Todd great so much good stuff in it man I really was hyped afterwards

I kind of want to die now it made it look so fun you know I've got good news for you brother that's the thing always something to look forward to there I got a lot of love for the final destination franchise I went to see the third one like me in a group of friends

and we had so much fun and then you were like I hope we all die together. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? Some of them are dead now, so, hey, good stuff. Real cinephiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, man, the fact that, like, it's directed by these two fellas. And I looked at their filmography, and, like, they've just done, like, direct to video stuff. Like, one of their films was Lepricon origins with Hornswoggle. Nice. They did come a long way. Did we get a Hornswoggle cameo in Final Destination? Unfortunately not. They're saving that for the next one, yeah.

But, like, those guys. I'm proud. I've never met those guys. I don't know what they're like. I'm proud of them. They're like my children. I called them up. I was like,

you did great guys. And some like guys like, who are you? Like, show! Tell Hornswoggle, I love him. I'm just calling up Pizza Hut. Oh, fuck.

I saw Horn Swoggle on a podcast there talking shit about Peter Dinklage. Oh yeah, they don't like each other. It's like black on black violence, isn't it? Yes, it's exactly like that. In that you laugh at that too. Is there a Farrakhan for little people? I think all, like, pretty much every, like, little person in Hollywood that isn't Peter Dinklage hates Peter Dinklage because, like, he sort of, he basically evolved past, you know, the kind of limited career little people have had or tend to have in Hollywood.

He sort of jumped to the next platform, but then he pulled the ladder up and is sort of like... I think it's jealousy. Well, he kind of... You're going to get that with Monaghan. celebrities. Okay. Yeah, where they're like, oh, James thinks he's better than us now. There already are some Monaghan celebrities. No, as, not as big as you will be.

Okay. And don't let anyone say otherwise. All right. Who is there? I'll kill them. Guitarists for Fontaine's DC? Nothing. Okay. No one likes that band. All right. Yeah. Cool. I saw him on the streets recently. Yeah. Kaylee Trap, she does like online comedy. She was on dancing it with the stars.

You will be. Oh, good. Yeah. dancing with the stars I'll be on my rascal scooter just doing a 360 me you get to simply vote me and some hot Brazilian

she's just like twerking on me and then afterwards I'm like talking to the producers why did she have that look of disgust on her face she should be grinding on me and smiling

from ear to ear I think we had a connection she's playing hard to get I've heard of the the strictly come dancing curse where oh they're always hopping into bed

with each other huh well hop into my hospital bed this button we can go all the way back me

peep peep pull the catheter out and get to work sweetie yeah there's some famous Arnold O'Hanlin

he's from Mono Manning yeah I suppose actually yeah oh well look the chick the chick from

love hate the wife if he McGinty, yeah. Oh, okay, right. Yeah, a lot of, pretty much everyone in Monaghan's famous except for me. And they're all doing great. Yeah, yeah.

It's great to see. Well, look, I'll cheer you up. Are you excited for a Saipan movie? Not really. The Rykean Mick McCartney film. I can't believe it's an actual movie. I don't know how they're going to get a movie out of it. A 90-minute movie?

But, like, it was like direct to, like, it was a TV movie. I kind of get it, you know? They're going to show us in cinemas in America. I'm surprised. I don't know why Steve Coogan agreed to be in this. Like, it really is not, I mean, maybe... Oh, he likes doing oppressions, you know? I could be wrong, but, like, yeah,

I just don't know if there's enough grit or dramatic meat on the bone, you know? I think he is Mick McCartney will be fun. Yeah. It's a very hard job to play Roy Keene in a movie. Because Roy Keene is someone, like, you know, a very unique person, and you see him all the time. You know, he's doing punitary today

and it's on fucking overlapping and all the, all the different shows, okay? and to portray him you kind of have to basically not do an impression because if you do an impression you just think of Rai Keene all right

and the guy who's playing him I don't know I forget his name now but when you first see him he's kind of like I know it looks like a wax worker Rai Keen and something

went wrong with it but then he starts talking you're a bit like oh I can he's kind of doing cork I'll have to buy you a little bit I'll wait until I see the film it's a tricky person

of doing impression all I think it is it is really it's not as like Mick McCartney's got kind of like unique kind of voice you know you can do that kind of you know I can't do it I'm not I'm not Steve Coogan

sorry wow don't say that about yourself I thought I could do it yeah aha oh no fuck ho ho oh no but man but like the actual thing of it

is like it's like 10 minutes really so it's like they're over Ireland they're over in Saipan for the World Cup Roy Keens, the star player He is a big argument with Mick McCarthy And Mick sends him home

No, not that at all It's like... Well, that's kind of debate about it You know, he says he went home And you know Mick kind of wanted him back You know, it's about the training facilities Right

Okay, and it was like, you know The standard of training and all that Right, right And it was like, we want to get you back And it became a big national story Because it was kind of like Ireland, we're like, we're in the fucking World Cup And you're blowing it for us

by refusing to play. Yeah, but they had like shit facilities. They were treating it according to Roy like a jolly boy's out and you know, it's like,

geez, we're here, let's have some fun. Yeah, yeah. So it's a he said, he said kind of thing. Right, right. But honestly, I don't know,

if you're going to make a movie out of it, you might as well just change the names and have a bit of fun with it. Right. So let's say it's like, it's Dick McCartney, okay? Yeah.

And, um, Roy Bean. Okay, yeah. And then like, his brother, Mr. Bean shows up. Yes. It's Rowan Atkinson, you know.

Okay, we're done. Stick a fork in it. Writing screenplay is actually very easy. It's very easy. There's the prompt for chat GPT. Just let it happen. Mr. Bean, Roy Kean, we're done. Roy Keats walking around with a turkey on his head,

like, oh, yeah, yeah. Good stuff. What was going to say? Well, like, yeah, you could have just, like, completely have fun with it. It's like oh, you know, they actually accidentally killed a hooker so then they got to bury her. That's

your story for everything. What? What do you mean? Okay, great. Good. No, that's good. When you're pitching new Care Bears movies. Fun improving with this guy. What about this? No stupid. You know, yes and they're like no stupid. No wrong.

No inaccurate. Yes, sad. Instead of that, it's no full stop, just no. You're like, we'll have to kill the hooker. Well, it'd probably difficult to make a movie about that actually because it didn't happen first of all and also, you know, they'd probably get sued for libel.

You literally said, oh, have fun with it and make take liberties with the stories like, oh, what about the no, no, you idiot. That didn't happen. It's a true story, you idiot. Like before we were recording, like, yeah, James have fun with it, all right, you know, there's no bad ideas. No wrong answers here, you don't worry.

It's a free open space to try out ideas. Okay, so what would you do with it? I would film exactly what happened. I have no fun with it whatsoever. I let the audience decide. You know what I'd rather do? Just do a documentary. That's why I like, you know?

Or just a podcast of me describing it. But here's the thing. Because we don't actually, it is a he said, he said, it's just going to be like they go into a room and then the door is closed and we just hear, and then cut to Roy on the. a play and we never find out. That'd be a good way doing it. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of...

Like the two-pack rape thing. Man, I was just about to say that. Yeah, yeah. Wow, we really are sympathetic, aren't we? Yeah, my ever differences is where you want to be funny and I don't, but when it comes to Tupac, we really jive.

What are we at there now? We're almost at the end there. I don't really have much else talk about. Good. Anything you want to talk about? Will Smith. is getting cloned online for his new song. Oh, yeah.

So, I like pretty girls. It's, it is a bad song, I'll be honest. It's really dad rap, isn't it? Yes, it's very... But the song is real, like, you know, I like girls. They're pretty. I like to hold their hand. Yeah.

When they talk, I understand. Yeah, it's like... I'm a ladies man. It's real Disney Channel kind of rap. Like, I don't even, like, say anything too sexual. No. Yeah, let's have a pizza party. Mm-hmm.

And let's drink some non-alcoholic beer, girl. I want to meet your parents so they know what kind of guy I am. I've got good intentions. So you didn't like the song, did you? I mean, I... There's not even like a cornyness to it. But I don't... I've never liked any of Will Smith's music.

Oh, don't act like that. He's got some good stuff. Okay. Wicke Wicke Wawa worst. I mean, that's fun for reasons that, you know, are not intended. They are intended. Okay. When I'm dancing to that, all right.

All right. So, yeah, Wile West, summertime, getting jiggy with it. Those are three good songs. Miami? Yeah, that's all right, too. But, again, it's very, like, clean, safe, radio-friendly, family-friendly, rap. Like, he's never been a part of the culture, really, I don't think, right? I can speak on the culture, boy.

But you know what I mean? Like, you know, like real hip-hop fans never really rated him. And that's fine because he, his acting. career and music career basically started at the same time. He's a much bigger actor than he ever was a musician. And he's a lot, like he's a lot of critical

acclaim, rightfully so, because he's a good fucking actor, you know? So... I'd like to see him do more acting, acting. I think he, that's... Like, less Gemini man, stuff. And more like, you know, really kind of push yourself a bit, you know? Apparently, he's got a very specific

criteria for what he agrees. When he agrees to sign on to a move, I think I've heard of this, yeah. I don't actually know what the stipulations are. I should have maybe locked it up, but... There's no way you could expect that he's asked, is it? No, no, don't make excuses for me, Brian. I'm a fucking idiot.

Stupid cunt. I'm the jassy Jeff of this duo, let's be honest. Oh, I'm the cuck. Well, I am secretly gay, so I suppose it does. Yeah, that's the other one. People are clowning on, I like, pretty girls, and all the comments are like, this is like for an attempt to try and make us think you're straight

you've made the gayest music video ever you're saying well I liked it well say well you try and ploy some I'm not I like pretty girls with the comments sir I like pretty girls I also like the fact all the girls in it were like wearing multiple layers

yeah yeah and weren't doing anything too sexy I like that yeah nothing too too sexy is scary to me I don't want to see their bosoms exposed be sick. Yeah, yeah. But it's just so funny, in the day of, like, a few years ago, we had wet ass pussy

and all that, you know, and all hip-hop is like, hey, I'm going to fuck a bitch, bend it over, slap her with my penis and whatnot. You know, how these fellas be. I taught Kendrick was in the room, right? You're going to do the next Super Bowl halftime show. Certified, lever-by certified pretty girl.

Yeah, so everyone's kind of just clowning on him. He's doing his, like, goofy dad dances and so he's just yeah but like there's like a goofy in a fun way yeah you know and you kind of lean into a bit this one i just kind of feel sad watching it yeah you know what i actually think in the long run it's gonna help him because there's he's getting so much just like a river of abuse and ridicule not really oh no he is though no like that's just online yeah but like you're acting like that doesn't in any way when every single person that talks about it, is speaking negatively about

it, that will affect you. But you have your little circle of people, like, sycophans to just say how great it is. Yeah, but like he's definitely, like the whole thing is like... He definitely, you're right though, he doesn't have a chip on his shoulder when it comes to music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he wants to be taught of amongst the

greats, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, even the fact that Jada used to date Tupac. And Tupac is like... Gay. Well, okay. I've heard Tupac was gay. Tupac more dick in his ass. Yes. We've all heard that, Brian. I never, what? Yeah, that is, we heard, you know,

but aren't all rappers secretly gay, is that the thing? That's what the whole Diddy parties are all about, you know? Meek Mill, get, I wouldn't, I wouldn't know. Clapping his cheeks. I wasn't invited. No, you weren't. And I'm still pissed off about that. You're just showing up to Diddy's house with the baby oil and the video camera.

Hello, please let me in. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Diddy. But I think he'll get some. Wilts Smith is getting so much abuse that eventually people are just going to go alright let's just leave him be now we've cloned on him for so long

it's not even fun anymore and then slowly but surely he'll do some indie movies and then you know Yeah I was going to say if you are Will Smith's agent Yeah what's your next move You see Indies? Yeah he's got it Wes Anderson perhaps Maybe not that but

Will Smith in a Wes Anderson movie I could see that You know what it's a little bit too close to what he is already Kind of like clean and friendly. Well, you know, Wes Anderson, he needs to go for real gritty, like, playing a dirty cop or something, you know, go against the grain, go against what people expect from him. Because all of his, he's never really played a bad guy. You're right, actually. You know what I mean? He needs his training day. Yes, exactly. There you go. Yeah. That'd be cool, actually, yeah. I would, I don't know

if he could do, like, proper scumbags. I love to see him do, like, bad lieutenant tree. Yeah. That'll be awesome. They're actually doing a bad lieutenant tree. Are they actually Yeah, but it's set in Japan. Oh. And it's a... Bad lieutenant? Oh, I'm bad lieutenant. Give me this a crackbook in.

It's still Harvey Kitell, you know? Hail. I cani-o-you-a. It's Nicholas Cage. Oh, conichie-wa. I'm bad lieutenant. We don't... Why are you talking like that, Mr. Cage?

No, that'll be fun, though, Bad Lieutenant 3. Yeah, but you're right. I would love to see Will... Will Smith do something really out there Like a Todd Salon's movie Yeah Yeah happiness Yeah, that'd be cool, yeah

Yes The pursuit of happiness Oh yeah Yeah Where he's a beat of fun Yeah And they're always in pursuit Aren't they

They're always hot on your heels Those boys Before we go Is there any else you can talk about Like do you know he passed up Inception And The Matrix Yeah

Well the Matrix Everyone knew about But when he recently he talked about, he passed up Inception. You know, I also, I don't know if he turned it down or it didn't work out, Django. Yeah. Again, I think he turned it down because, like, at the time, he's like, oh, that's

too against me, my image, that wouldn't ever work. Whereas now, I think a role like that would really redefine him, reintroduce him, like, you know, I'm the bad boy now. I say the end word all the time. You know, actually,

if I was Will Smith's agent, I would try and get him apart in the new David Fincher Cliff Boot movie I think that could be good from something like that you know even like a small role

if I was Will Smith's agent I get him small roles in like critically claimed director stuff and build up the reputation a bit you know and kind of get lost in the roles a bit

because he is a good actor but we've never seen him in Hollywood like like big blockbuster PG 13 he's the good guy he's the hero we need him

Yeah, something a bit different, which he would be more than capable of doing. And he needs to stop with the music, to be honest, because that is not working. I disagree with that. I love pretty girls. Go on, sing it for me there then. Do the dance. And then the barbershop one, remember that? That was pretty, yeah.

I didn't really get that. But maybe it's just, I'm not, it's not my culture, you know what I mean? No, no. Well, I could speak on the culture, Brian, as I tend to do many times. but yeah look I think he'll be back and I kind of feel bad for him is like come on

I don't think he feels bad for you I don't think he should everyone should Jesus Christ yeah you know you gotta be human yeah that's funny you think of like

some lad on the street you know and dogs pissing him he's like geez I tell you I'm worried about Will Smith now I don't think he's picking the right rolls and it'll affect his box off his straw

did you hear he was getting the cook holded The wife She was doing She was getting a leg over With the fella down the road Jesus Christ Every Tom Dick and Harry

Was having a go on hour Uh yeah Poor, but look It'll be fine What else going on The Liver King He's having his own Will Smith moment right now

I didn't know the Liver King Was So mentally unhealthy Same, yeah I thought the Liver King Was just like A kind of fun, cool dude I wanted to be him

Yeah Now you know you can be Wait, he's a spastic. Because I'm already mentally ill. I'm halfway there, right? I do send Joe Rogan debt threats. So like, Joe, I want to be on the podcast, Joe. Yeah, what was he sending Joe Rogan?

So basically, he's just been constantly, so about a month ago or probably less, you know that Netflix series Untold? Yeah. They do like little exposés. So they did a thing about the liver king. And apparently this is the thing that really pushed him over the edge. But that's a big global thing. A lot of people would have found out about him.

Exactly. Like, I knew of the Liver King, but I never cared. It's like, yeah, he's just some buff, like, you know, ripped dude. Yeah. Who says, I don't do steroids, even though he clearly does. Allegedly. And that's it. That was the whole, like, I didn't realize there was so much more behind the story.

I didn't know any about him. I was just watching a clip there on YouTube. I saw a picture of him. He looked normal. Yeah. Relatively recently ago, you know, he had, like, the normal head. He was clean-shaven, and he wasn't all, like, red. And he has kids as well

The poor fucking kids Apparently in the documentary You can tell Like his oldest son Particularly the whole time Is just like Staring at his dad With such disgust

And contempt It's like You fucking mentally ill freak I hate you That's how my kids look at me Yeah they do Yeah I know

I know See that's how you improv Brian You're yes and you go along with it But don't add anything That would spoil it You don't have kids Brian with him whose kids are dead

so yeah now he got arrested for like literally traveling to Austin Texas with a gun and threat doing videos of I'm going to kill you Joe Rogan apparently he can't do that You know it's funny he was like sending like

death threats Joe Rogan Liver King and then I don't know why but I think he was like I got a loophole I'll call you set Rogan Yeah it sounds like I'm going to kill you set Rogan the host of the Joe Rogan podcast. I'm going to kill you. And he's not doing too well.

No. I'm sure Joe Rogan's used to it. I'm sure a lot of people, mentally ill people gravitate towards him. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of people out there, they're like, if I just get on Joe Rogan, they'll fix everything. That will change everything. Then I'll be able to, then my wife will respect me. That would be awful, though. Just being inundated by the biggest freaks in the world. Basically us. I imagine having to deal with people. like us all the time

trying to be your friend dealing with myself yeah exactly yeah and they've been like that good one Joe I didn't say anything yeah exactly I was thinking

you probably say something good wouldn't you it's what you don't say that's uh you know I fuck up like I love DMP I love the BNP Joe

you're like to Sless yeah I love doing BNP they don't belong here we need to send them all back we kick the machine elves out of here the entities we know who they are I'll tell you I was very hot this episode now

but we got through it there yes yes yes it's very warm and sweaty it is very warm and sweaty I need to watch more things for next week now yeah so any suggestions no okay so there you go right okay that's good I don't know what else

what else is coming out a squid game what was that season three I'll watch Squid game, season three. I feel like season two just came out, no? They filmed them back to back. Oh, I see, right, right. So I'll watch Squid Game, and actually it won't.

Ah, fuck it. Yeah, why you... Waste the time. Yeah. No Doctor Who? No. Yeah. Yeah.

Your life's pretty empty without Doctor Who, isn't it? No. Never been happier. Okay. Oh, actually, can I talk with something real quick, even though we're at an hour? Please. I've been thinking about this. So I've been reading through Ulysses.

Right. do you know much about ulysses no it's funny because ulysses is considered this great novel yeah and people are always like oh it's the greatest Irish novel of all time and it's it's so Dublin and they expect you know like we have

Blooms Day every year yes uh do you know anything about ulysses like what the plot of it is no okay so it's like a he's walking around it's like a stream of consciousness yeah it's like a day in the life kind of thing right yeah yeah but I didn't realize

This is how perverted and sexual Ulysses was. Yeah, well, James Joyce was very perverted. He was big, like, all of his love letters were like, I want to fart on your tits, you bitch. Yeah, yeah, he was a real Trailblazer when he came to that kind of stuff, you know? Yeah, he basically was saying. The original sextor.

Yeah, yeah. And, like, it's funny because everyone else, he would have been so cool, everyone else, like, I yearn for you, my lines are so hot, and he was like, I want a jizz on you. Yeah. You know, he didn't beat around the bush.

What? You know? I want a spunk in your muff. Poetry So Ulysses All right This great novel That is like

It explains our identity All right It's about First of all Stephen Dedalus Who is basically James Joyce Right

And he walks around Dublin And he's like a weird Sex pervert And he like He sees a girl in the beach This might be Stephen I'll be other guy But like one the character

In Ulysses he sees a girl in the beach he's like oh she's nice and he starts just wanking all right and he jizzes and then she walks away he's like oh no

she's got a limp ew and he puts the jizz back in his cock ah refund and then the other character is Bloom Leopold Bloom

and he's like a weird sexual Jewish guy all right like a Philip Roth character and then is Molly Bloom his wife who is cooking him oh really

yeah And she's just a big hooer. Sure. Yeah. She talks about putting bananas up her pussy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Some potassium up the ass even.

Like she, uh, uh, it's very interesting, but like it's, again, kind of like a league of extraordinary gentlemen. The references are so out there, you're never going to understand it, you know? Yeah. There's references like Latin, German, Shakespeare, a Norwegian myth. there's even like one bit in it where like one of the characters

reading the newspaper and someone says any tips all right and he says I'm just going to throw it away and throw it away was a horse

that won back then oh wow yeah it's a real like so a gag from the time yeah exactly yeah all that stuff

so it's kind of interesting how weird it is like a late night monologue you know yeah like Lenny Bruce or something yeah so I do

I want to read more about Ulysses. I want to like more about the history of it. Yeah. You know what I think actually not belittling in Ulysses, but I think the reason why people love it and the reason why it stayed the test of time is because it went on trial in America for obscenity. Oh, wow, okay.

And then it became like a big kind of success in America and like all things in Ireland. We're like, oh, it's popular in America. Oh, that means it's actually good. Yeah, yeah. We actually love, we love. The youngs love it, then it's great. Yeah, because Marilyn Monroe and all that was reading it, you know.

Especially as a bit at the end where Molly Bloom there's a big kind of soliloquy about talking to this extreme of consciousness kind of stuff, right? I'm talking about farting and all that, which is really good, you know. But again, like, it's all these Irish lads who are like, oh, yeah, yeah, I always loved it. If the Yanks like it, yeah, I also wank on a beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it, yeah. God bless America. I heard actually, in the radio ages ago, this woman was like,

I had a German friend coming to Dublin. Right. And he said, what's Dublin like? And I gave him Ulysses by James Joyce. And I said, that will explain everything. He hung himself. The end. She was farting.

I didn't like it. And sheise, yeah. A wanking on the beach. Oh, my goodness. I feel like I'm doing a good job this year of getting through the big, like, you know, Ulysses, and if in a jest and all that, you know, these big fucking tomes that know

that people find it hard to read. Yeah. I'm reading an understanding basically none of it. It's great. But still being condescending to people about it. Now I could smoke a pipe,

you know, crack pipe. Farting a pipe and smoke it to honour James' choice. So, what time is it? I don't know. Well,

I'll check, will I? If you could, please. About half three. Oh, half three, that's great. Great, okay. We can chill out for ages. It's great when you've nothing to do, isn't it?

It is. It's like a life hack in a way. I feel bad for all the people with like kids and like, you know, a wife and all that. Be like, oh, please, I love you. Fuck off. Getting in the way.

I'm hanging out with James, you bitch. Yeah, that's right. Can't podcast with you, you silly bent. You don't make jokes about spunking in muff. I try to make my future wife do like you do a Steve Harvey impression

who is Steve Harvey I just get the pillow it's for the best love oh