Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 260 : Superman Special

Episode Date: July 11, 2025

Truth, Justice and hide the sausage.

It's a free one. A lot of stuff going on. Before we start properly, I got to say, I showed James Now You See Me, Part 1. I'm going to show them all of them eventually. We're working away up. We're going to watch one and two. Yeah. And that's it, really.

But then we'll watch three together in cinema. Right. Yeah, I'll say, we should show up in cinema and do some magic tricks. You know, the girl who sells a ticket, you know, they're like, oh, is this your card, my love? Yeah, yeah. We are the two horsemen. Oh, is this a picture of you getting changed this morning through your bedroom window? How do you get that? It's magic.

Is this a picture of your dog after being kicked to death? I'm in the guard station. Oh, a magician never reveals his tricks. So I showed James the infamous bank heist scene. see me one, okay? And I want to see, do you know how it did this? Just set it up, okay? They're in Vegas,

and they rob a bank in Paris. That's right. I didn't misspeak there. That's right. I know you're like, what? And you get crashed the car, listen to... Suck me, bleat. So it's now you see me. They are in Vegas, rob a bank in

Paris. James, what happened? During a live show. It's just packed, by the way. It's like bigger than the Super Bowl. It's massive. Kendrick wishes he had that audience. A giant auditor. Yeah, and this camera is spinning around, which I love, by the way. I hate it.

You were getting dizzy. It was making me dizzy because I'm hug over, and they're all like, and Woody Harald's like, they're put on the transportation helmet and it's definitely not there, you're stupid, it's really cool. And Isla Fisher's there's like, eh, crook, a lot of magic, it's you. And Jesse Eisenberg's the cool one. Yeah. You got Dave Franco there, Dave Franco plays a nerd in these things.

He's like, well, excuse me, miss. Can I do some magic? Oh, you probably don't like magic, do you? You probably like the jocks, like Jesse Eisenberg. Dave Franco in this movie has a real James Cadden Energy. Oh, nobody likes me and I smell. And it's not like a do about... Yeah, literally not.

Well, I'm not a magician. I can't make myself unsmelly. I can rob banks, no butter, but shower. So how do you think they did it, James? How did it rob a bank in Paris from Las Vegas? Vegas. What I think... No, I have told you

before, but you weren't listening. Did you actually tell me how they did it? Yeah, I did, but you were asleep at the time. Was it like a fake vault or something?

That's it, yeah. There's a fake vault under the stage. Right. And they actually robbed the bank like two days ago. Okay. And they put fake money

in the bank. And then the fake money was rigged to explode with paper that doesn't leave a trace when it goes on fire. Yeah. This just sounds

so fucking stupid and well this is why you're not allowed to watch part three with me okay I'll go on my own and I've impressed the girl with my own I'm the one horseman I've a horse outside but yeah I'm looking forward to part three and now you've watched both of them now

yep love them they're your favorite movies I actually have started writing fan fiction where they meet David Blaine the fifth horseman Ryan O2 oh my god yeah They're doing some real cool magic trick, but it's just like four's not enough. And he needs someone like very unassuming, you know, like someone like Brian O'Too, you wouldn't think he's actually the sexiest of him all, you know?

And he isn't. You'd be right in your assumption because he most certainly is not. You think he's an autistic loser? Well, looks can't be deceiving. That's the misdirection, you know. Yeah. Well, look, I was kind of. perplexed by how just over the top and stupid is like you know i don't know there's something about

it maybe just because i'm hung over and in a bad mood but it was really it was upsetting i was kind i felt like i was bleeding internally watching that you know like i was being beaten up underwater or something you know but luck if it's your favorite fellow it is yeah i also watch superman as well so i'm having a great time uh superman i won't even talk about too much because i just enjoyed it. Okay. I don't have anything to say about, really. This is the new James Gunn, Superman? Yeah, new James Gun, I enjoyed it.

That's really it, you know? I don't want to spoil anything. Very, very fun film. Nice and just, like, straight to the point. It's like, okay, it starts off. Superman is Superman. Lois Lane, no Superman. Lex Luters Dyer.

He doesn't like Superman. He's got a dog who flies around. It's like, there you go to start the film. The dog flies around? Yeah, crypto, super dog. Oh. Yeah. He's the best part of the film.

honestly like that's what i mean it's such a good example of like having a tone and committing to that tone and just like not being too silly you know they're not it's not Deadpool you know yeah they're not going like hmm this is a a bad start of the new dc franchise hmm what do you say superman nothing you know it's not it's not that you know uh that'd have a bit of fun with it nathan phillian is great in it wait what's the name of the dog again crypto crypto yeah it's in cryptocurrency bitcoin well well well Crypto comes long before a crypto In fact, it probably named after crypto

Do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In that it's fucking stupid and only idiots think it's a good idea. I actually feel bad for you, okay? The fact that you can't enjoy a movie where you got Beck Bennett and John Sina. Yeah.

What more do you need? And you got the Skyler Guggins from Righteous Gemstones. I want to give that another role there? What's he called? Righteous Gem gem. What's it got? It's the righteous gemstones. You know,

son. Gideon. Oh, Gideon. Yeah. His name's like Skyder or something in real life. Yeah. So pretty close. Pretty much, yeah. Skyder Gideon. He plays Jimmy Olson. He's great, in it. Who does Beck Bennett play then? I thought Beck Bennett was Jimmy Olson. No.

Make sure you cut that out. That could ruin it. No, Beck Bennett plays Steve Lombard. And he bullies Superman. Oh. Yeah, he's like, hey, Clark, you fucking pus. He doesn't say that, you know. Hey, Clark, you queer. Why can't he be a real man

Like Superman You little fruit cup With your glasses Yeah I bet you're a little cock Aren't you Just Clark Kent You got a little bit of sugar

In the tank Yeah Lois Lane Yeah I fucking send her out To my gaff I'll show her a good time Well he doesn't say that either

I'll show her What a real man can do And they also You know what My kryptonite is Consent Yeah And they also have

They address That Superman is Hypnoglass What are hypnoglasses? That's why people can't tell Clark Kent for Superman. Okay. Yeah, he's got his glasses he wears, projecting a hypnotic thing

so people don't see the resemblance between Clark Kent's Superman. So what do they see then? Some black guys. She was the main, I'm working in motherfucking news, baby. Look at his little Jimmy Ozzie, motherfucker. Oh, Clark, you're always so mean to me.

Shut your bitch-ass up. Where my hallway, Louis. Lois, get you away. ass in here, girl. Yeah, you got a fat ass for white bitch. I fuck with you. Come on now. Get on up. Bitch don't talk to me now. And that's why Lex Luter hates him. Bitch, you speak when spoken too now, all right? I don't mean me to take my washcloth and whip your ass with it. Sorry. It's a great film. It's great for the whole family, you know. There's none of that. I tell you know what I like, okay? There's a black guy in it. Doesn't talk like

that, Mr. Terrific. Mr. Terrific. Yeah, yeah. Mr. Terrific, he's got a big black T on his head. So it's like, imagine a letter T or I spelled out, like, imagine he took a black guy and painted the letter T on his head.

Not like a cross, like KKK kind of thing, like a T, all right? Is it like a mask or something? No, he just painted on his head. Okay. Yeah, and he's just one of the smartest people in the world. And he's got little robots and stuff, little balls.

And he takes, the black guy takes his balls, and he's saves a day. Oh, so he's a good guy? Oh, he's a good guy, yeah. And you know what he talks? Like a human being, James. No, it's like, oh, oh, I'm black, you know. Hi, I'm a black guy.

Mr. Terrific, it's crazy. I'm black. I'm the blackest most terrific, Mr. Terrific. There's ever been, I'm so black, I'm so terrific. So it's Superman, okay? Right. And it starts off, he's saving the day and all that. his fortress of solitude.

Okay. Which every man needs. The man cave. Yeah, it's a big, in the Antarctic. We're him and the bros hang out. Yeah, he, he's robot bros. No, no, they're all robots. Yeah, they're listening to Opie and Anthony best bitch.

And the robots are like, I like it when Patrice says something sexist, you know, like that. Yes, yes. Patrice is correct. Pussy aged like bread. I would like to go to. Brazil with a bunch of dildos like Patrice. I enjoy the up-down game with Bobo the

retard. They have a robot Bobo. We've already enacted. This is very inside baseball. Yeah, yeah, but it's free. Who cares, all right? We love the fans, all right? So he, but then Lex Lutor is trying to destroy Superman, like he always is, okay? So he's teamed up with a foreign dictator from some country called, like, Bolivia, some

fictional country, right? You know, Romania or something, okay? Bunga Bunga. Bunga. right yeah um no way sorry just sorry drop there there was um i'll listen something a while ago they listened to like uh dominic frisbee songs you know dominic frisbee the brexit guy yeah yeah yeah i need a song there where like uh he was rhyming like man and a country but instead like pakistan he was like uh man or Uzbekistan he was actually more awkward to shoveled in yeah yeah um just remind me there yeah so it's superman versus like you beckes or Pakistan or something

or something. Right, yeah? Now, okay, so this, we're not seeing any of you're annoyed that I, I'm just asking a question. Sorry, you can interrupt if you wanted, yeah. They don't, so it's not like an origin story. No, okay. No, although we do see a little brief clip

of Superman's parents from Crypto, from Krypton, played by Bradley Cooper, some woman. Ah, yeah, yeah, nice. Now, I don't know the Superman law all that well. I can tell. Lex Luthor, what's his... Like, is he just like a... Like a Jeff Bezos type, or...

Well, he's just a guy who hates Superman. He's a rich, smart guy who hates Superman and wants to destroy him. Why? He doesn't like the whole... Man, he's a fucking illegal alien on the planet. Oh, I see. Taking our women.

Right. Yeah. Like, he's like, imagine, like, a powerful guy came to Earth and he's... Like, everyone loves him, and they don't love you. Yeah. Imagine that, you know? It'd be like if you were hanging out with, like,

Josh Whitticam, all right? Yes. Basically, Josh Whitticam is your Superman. and everyone loves him like oh isn't he great look at him oh he's so good you know and you know you're better than him yeah and you want the world to know

and only way he can do is by taking him down he's wearing the hypno glasses that convinces everyone that he's funny but only I could see the truth like they live yeah exactly you have like your crypt now he's just a brick you know he's thrown at him his one weakness

he found his weakness his defense system seemed to be down I've like cracked his skull open and just the brains are leaking out like an old runny egg you run over his dog like take that crypto not so

super now are you we can't yeah yeah so basically Lex Lutor has a plan to defeat Superman so he has an army of robot soldiers

he also has Ultraman who's a failed clone of Superman, all right? Kind of like a basically special needs clone of Superman, right? And he also has the...

Superman. His kryptonite is long division. Moving on, right? Oh, come on. No, but you can't make fun on this. He also is the woman called the Engineer

as one of his henchling, henchmen, women, okay? And she is a woman who's being injected with nanobots, she can turn her hands in anything. Oh. She turned her hands in swords. Like, you don't remember T2? Yes. Yeah, or blades or anything, all right? That's cool.

And they are teaming up this Bolivian dictator to defeat Superman, all right? Because, uh, why is it now? Lex Lueh wants a war between America and this Bolivian place. He's playing all the... He, because he sells weapons to the Bolivian guy.

Right, okay. So he's like telling the Bolivian guy like, he's acting like he loves Bolivia or something like that, but he's not, by the way, it's not Oblivia, but he's just trying to start a war. Military industrial complex, man. Yes. And then what happens next? Oh, so they, look, a lot of stuff happens, all right?

Guy Gardner's there, played by Nathan Fillion. He's very good. Oh, that's, yeah. Who plays Superman? David Cornswet. He's a newbie. Right. Yeah, so...

Corn Sweat. Yeah. He, basically, because of Christopher Reeves, they love getting an unknown to play Superman. Right. Like, with little experience or little, uh, kind of, um... I guess, yeah, Henry Cavill wasn't really that well-known. By the way, I don't understand.

Did you watch Man of Steel? No. Man, I watched it. I remember seeing like, oh, it's kind of, all right. It's not really like a film on a watch again, all right? Yeah. So many lads made Man of Steel, like, their religion. Like, it's their thing, you know?

Really? Yeah, like, Henry Cavill is like their prophet Muhammad. We're like, like, you know, the Snyder cut people, all right? Oh, yeah. All they do. Reddit is just post about how fucking handsome Henry Cavill is and how fucking gay James

Gunn is. Oh. Yeah, they're like I'm a real man. I fucking smoke cigars and masturbate over Henry Cavill every night. But James Gunn, he's got a wife because he's a beta male cook. Right. And they hate anything to do with like the new Superman film. They're like protesting it.

They think it's fucking cowardly. They think David Cornswet should be executed by the state. Right. Yeah, they're really angry about this whole thing. What, I mean. Because it's not, it's not Man of Steel 2. Okay.

Yeah, they couldn't handle the fucking, people like you couldn't handle Man of Steel 2, you know? I really had no... You were like, why isn't there more of a, there should be a black protagonist? I was always more a fan of Dean Kane. You know, Dean Kane literally today came out and

it's like, this new Superman is walking shit. That's exactly. And gay. Yeah, there we go. And Dean Kane. Never steered me wrong. Dean Kane and Lois Lane. Terry Hatcher. Yeah. She was very sexy.

That was from Louis and Clark wasn't me? Yeah, I used to watch it all the time. We should watch it. Nah, you'd ruin it for me.

Yeah. I'd be like, that's not comics accurate. So, oh, but there's a bit I did like that,

well, I loved all of it, actually. Yeah. There's a bit I liked the whole fucking thing, the end.

Start the finish. So, like, Lex Luter takes down Superman with the help of, what's his name now? It's a Mamango or

Mattello. A lot of, it seems to be a lot of different characters Yeah, that's what I loved about this It's like, it starts off all these characters here In this world, no introduction Are we all getting spin-offs for all of them? I fucking hope. Well, they've already filmed The Green Lantern Show.

Oh, have they? Yeah, the Green Lantern show is going to be, listen to this, okay? Wait, what, you mean, the Seth Rogan? No, that's the other one. What was he, the Green Hornet? Yeah, yeah. Where's the Green Hornet? Wait, was Ryan Reynolds, the Green Lantern?

Yeah, he was, yeah, that was in the Horries bomb, all right? Yeah, yeah. And you know I don't like it. You brought the objects to annoying me, right? Yeah, I did. But the new Green Lantern show, all right, this is going to be good now. It's Nathan Fillion as Green Lantern. Yes.

It's, you know, Kyle Chandler? Yes. He's also going to play Green Lantern. Aren't they a bit long in the tooth for that? Yeah, they're playing the older ones. You know the new Green Lantern that they're training? Remember the black guy? No.

Oh, from the film. What film? Oh, it's on Netflix once. No, you know what I'm talking about. I'm afraid. Oh, what are you talking? You're giving me all the brain. I gave you so many hints.

Aaron Perrier. You know that guy? Oh, yeah. Aaron Perry. Yeah, yeah. You're close enough, but I think. He's the new Green Lantern. Is he the guy that they're saying

might be the new James Bond. Yeah. So he's going to be James Bond and Green Lantern. Maybe they'll combine. Oh. That'd be good. Do a bit about that. Do do do.

I don't know anything about the Green Lantern. Hello, I'm. I'm... No, what would he say? I'm M. Uh-huh. Go on Bond. Uh, hmm.

It's harder than looks, isn't it? Riffin. Yeah. What about some kind of bloody riff machine? Fuck off. Do do, do, do, do. So that's going to be a ten-part HBO series. Oh, okay.

Yeah, and then the next thing is going to be Peacemaker. That's going to be tied in this as well. And then it's going to be... Peacemaker and Superman? yeah he's innocent yeah there's a bit ready to interview peacemaker about Superman okay yeah yeah

and what's he think I haven't watched peacemaker well you have to know okay because otherwise you won't be able to enjoy green lantern

you know I might just make it through life without watching any of it really I highly doubt that yeah well I tell you why I'll be sent to alligator alcatraz

that's where I'm going Matt I would recommend as your doctor okay flush all your pills on the toilet all right and just start watching Superman

All you use David Corn Sweat That's all you need That's just what the doctor order I know it's really cool Maybe I wouldn't corn sweat so much When the sun's out That Certraline makes you sweat a lot Did you know that?

No I didn't do Especially when you're fatty shit And you're not watching Superman Yeah But here's the cool thing All right So with the help of I think his name's like

Metallo or a metamorphosis Or something It's no whole Hank from Barry Oh yeah He's good can turn his body into any chemical so he turns his hand in the kryptonite

he's working with Lex Lutor why not turn his cock into kryptonite and then bum Superman? You know this is something James Gunwood done years ago but thankfully he's moved on from that kind of childish humour. You're a real like you know when Stan Lee was in Mallrats. Yeah. Yeah, that's you

that is, yeah. Well, does the thing have a big orange cock? Yeah. Stoochie-moochies! Oh you know it's actually really sad. I'll get to a minute. I actually have read Archie meets Jane Silent Bob. Is that a comic book? It's a new comic book came out this week.

Right. Written, but I'll talk about right now, actually. It's Kevin Smith has written this, okay? You know all your favorite Archie characters, Jughead, Veronica, Betty? I mean, I know all of them. Yeah. Imagine they all go to Quickstop. Right.

You know, it's very funny. So it's like Archie goes to Quickstop, but Dante is still dead. I assumed it would take place before Clerks Tree So it's kind of already off to a sad start You know So it's just Jeff Anderson there By himself Yeah and he's got like Elias is it

Talking about Star Wars to no one Yeah But then he's talking to the ghost of a You know he's stuffed Stuff Dante corpse alright But then Archie and Jughead Come along all them And they're looking for a job

to get a job in the quick stop. Right. And I'm surprised. They say fucking stuff. Okay. I'm surprised. I'm actually allowed this to happen, you know?

So it's like, they're like, oh, don't be a pussy. Gee, you can't say pussy. I can say what I want. You're in New Jersey now. Right. And then they're like, let's go outside. What's that funny smell? Smells like,

that's where I snooch to nooch. And it's a full page spread of Jane Silent Bob. Right. And I was like, I was reading the comic book. and i was like boy i felt i felt like super bad i felt like i could fly yeah and then so jane's on the barber there okay right and then they meet uh josie and the pussy cats wow you know that and then they go to a music but then okay it's happiness overloat it gets all good right but then josie's sick or something so no one's going to sing but like who's going to sing and then jay smokes the

joint that's so bodacious right that he gets up and starts singing, all right? And at first they don't like it, but then it's all about a comic book in a way so you can't hear anything. Oh, well, you can if you're a real fan. The music's in your soul. It's like you put ear to a shell, you know?

So like, and then they all start having fun and grooving and all that. Sabrina the Teenage Witch is there as well, all right? Sure, right. Because they're all part of the same universe. Right. And then at the end, they go, Jeff Anderson, his character.

It's like, you know what, Archie? You're a real quick stop employee. And there's like the ghost of Dante watching them and he's proud of him. Right. Yeah. And did you cry, Brian? I was a bit like...

A little misty. I'm not ashamed to admit it. You know what? It's men's mental health, you know? I'm not... You're probably so like, you know, you're like, I didn't care about that and he could start punching dry wall, you know?

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not a shit. I'm emotionally open, you know? Okay. I just open my legs. I mean my heart. and let Archie into it

I thought it was great yeah it was about 20 pages felt longer tough old read now and also there's a bunch of like cameos and stuff so like you see Steve Dave

oh wow yeah you see Jennifer Schwallbach his wife you see Harley Quinn Smith yeah all all the favorites Jesus Christ it's a great thing you all want to do actually

this is a real tangent now but I want to watch all the view askew adjacent films at some stage it's like vulgar is one but during the time of Kevin Smith's peaked there's a bunch of people in his vicinity

managed to make a movie you know right okay there's one small town gay bar another one called drawing flies another one actually got filmed shown at a festival and he's only getting a release now and this was filmed like the year after clerk it's like a sketch comedy film

oh what yeah yeah it's only getting a DVD release now. Why? Because fans like me have been clambering for this for years. Wait, vulgar, is that the one where he's a... The clown gets raped. Right. Yeah. That's the whole movie. Well, more do you need? Yeah. Well, you're like, oh, what's the character

arc? Does it follow Joseph Campbell's 12 steps of the hero's journey? Joseph Campbell's 12 step of a rape clown. Yeah. Wait, one second. I'm just going to check something. Yeah, I've never heard of a small town game.

bar either, but, you know, a lot of the view askew averse, which is such a stupid term, but all right. Like, Kevin Smith, he's, yeah, he gets harder and harder to defend, you know, but that's kind of, we've went over that ad nauseum.

Yeah, yeah, I shouldn't have brought up really, you know, I'm sorry. Actually, back to Superman, okay, something we all love. Who plays Lex Luthor? Nicholas Holt. How is he? He's great in it. There's a bit I really like where he has, like, Superman tied up in prison, okay, and he's got the Crypt Knight Deer

so he's defenseless and he's like I'm going to kill a random person every time you don't tell me like you know where your parents are and all that all right so like you know

Ma and Paul Kent and he actually does it he shoots some there's like some random fucking guy who's like please I'm missing please and then he just shoots him in the head you know

pretty brutal stuff you know very bad so it's violent then is it not it's not like it's not like they showed a bullet going to his head in slow motion they show his teeth

getting fucking splatter all over the place then like the poop coming out of his anus afterwards you know Don't show that. There's just bits of skull fragments all over the ceiling. Wow! You know, it is a good film.

And at the end, okay? Obviously, to defeat Lexington and all that. I won't go into... I will say, I kind of like... The actual, like, mechanics of the plan, it's not really that interesting. It's more but the characters and all that anyway, you know? But at the end, Superman's cousin shows up.

Supergirl. Oh. Millie Alcock. I don't know what it is. I tell you now, I've got a new favorite girl. I'm going to bring some flowers to the cinema For Millie? Yeah, and try and give them to the screen, you know.

You don't have to be rude. You can at least make eye contact, you bitch. I send like a blind item into like the Sun newspaper I got a story for you. You have Millie Alcock, all right? She's actually not so great. She's stuck a bitch. Printer.

Front page. Millie Alcock. She'll be getting any of my car. I'll tell you that. I didn't mean that, Millie. He's a beast. He makes me say terrible things. I didn't realize Supergirl was actually related to Superman.

Yeah, it's his cousin. Okay. So basically, the way it worked is they fired Superman off as a baby. Right. Okay. And then Superman's cousin got fired off as well. But she was, you know, like 17 or something. Okay, right?

Oh. But she got stuck along the, Whatever trajectory or whatever it that She landed like 30 years after Superman Okay Yeah, so she's technically older in Superman You know, because of space and all that She's younger

Yeah, so and And she She looks after crypto, the dog and all that Oh, it's a great film now Does the dog have a cape? Yeah, good Of course, that's what I mean, just embrace it, you know And there's so many little bits and it was like, you know what

This is what we need, okay? Like after all like the doom and gloom all the fucking like Zach Snyder is all like do you bleed like in Man of Steel Superman breaks Michael Shannon's neck

okay just kills him right all right whereas in this one Superman is saving squirrels oh yeah there's like a monster around and he's saving like women and children there's also a little squirrel

and he picks up the squirrel and saves that as well that's what I mean it's like you know it's for kids somebody goes ha that's nuts right huh no see I could punch up this You know what? I was being all cynical there

was like if they actually said that Yeah I tell you now It would be good timing now Yeah That'd be quite good Is this Superman Never kill people then

Is that he's? Okay I say he's a good guy You know how I said at the start Oh I don't really know The Superman lore So anytime I have a question Could you maybe not

What? You fucking God You're missing around with me Aren't you Yeah Oh I'll tell you We'll do something that you like Alright or halfway there

I'm looking forward to If you're honestly I'm kind of looking forward to getting in my car and driving around listening to my war and peace audio book. Uh-huh. Yeah. So I want to find that more about Pierre. I have to go and sweat in front of people

and, uh, you know, God forbid, I don't do that. Yeah, I'm doing a gig later on. It's very warm out. Ah, you'll love it. No, I'm not looking forward to it. Well, I'll cheer you up now. I was listening to a podcast with DJ Carey. The Hurler. The Hurler, yeah. So I taught DJ Carrey,

Fuck. DJ Carey? You know what? I gave you all that shit about Superman, you know? Yeah. I couldn't even pronounce DJ Carey,

you know? So, DJ Carey, I thought he's just a guy who lied about cancer once. He was lying about cancer for like 10 years. Really?

For 10 years, he was like, ah, Jay's the cancer's getting even worse. Can he give me more money? Really? So he was just like begging people for money?

Man, he was just constantly texting people with a phone charge up his nose and he'd be like, I got a touch the old cancer there and the only cure is going to America is Super Bowl.

And he would He sent to the people Okay Like Dennis O'Brien and that Like all these big weight These rich people okay Right And he'd be like get money

And the treatment Was going to the Super Bowl What Like That's it Yeah And they're like A herder would never tell a fib

Yeah Yeah He wouldn't tell a porcup That see he made a mistake Like Bernie Madoff You know He robbed from the rich Uh huh

And that's why I bit him On the arse Yeah Yeah But now So Dijic Carey got caught pretending of cancer for 10 years and now he's like oh I've got

actually mental health issues I've actually got mental health very funny if he just gets cancer like the boy who cried cancer you know nobody's gonna believe him and yeah he thinks the phone charge up the nose actually works you know I'm trying everything doc

yeah so who did he send that picture like the phone charge up the nose there's multiple people I think yeah he was like it's I'm it's back the chemo's not working the Motorola chemo is not working Like it's so Is he like

He's got to be a bit Kind of fucking slow or something To think that that would fool people Man that whole family Like the sister is robbing people as well But yeah It's not she wasn't even robbing She was like

Hey give me some money And I'll give you more money And they're like Well I mean Your brother's a hurler So I can trust you Yeah okay You give me

So you're saying If I give you a thousand euro You can turn that into 6 billion quid Yeah That makes sense, yeah. In a week and a half. That's pretty, I'd be stupid not to do this.

Yeah. Yeah, like, um. Now, has he been, like, it went to court and all? Yeah, he claims, uh, he's, no comment, he says. Okay. And I've also, he said, no comment and also got mental health issues. Yeah, that doesn't really, everyone is mental health issues, pal. Especially the dumb cons that gave you fucking money and how they're broke.

And they got fooled by some fucking retardant of the bone charge of his nose. No, it's actually genuinely. sad. Drac, I bet to still people like, but he was a fine hurtter though.

Yeah. He's a fine. I know he took all my money and my wife died because we didn't have enough money for like a bed,

you know, she died in the pneumonia out in the street. Yeah. But I tell you, all those all are in those memories now. I tell you,

up the cats. How many, yeah, like he was their star player. He was like, yeah, man, back in the, Kenny were like Man United.

He was the Michael Jordan. He was, yeah, he was, imagine a white Michael Jordan. Terrifying, isn't it? Yes, sir. Yes, sir, Space Jam with DJ Kerry

Oh, no, no, no, bugs, how you doing? Eh, what's up, Doc? And what else could we talk about now? I've kind of got a few different things talk about here. It's a little bit of a scatterbrained episode, to be honest. We're both hot, you're hungover. Yeah. I tried to read Salman Rushdie's new book.

His new book's called Knife. Right. And it's about, you know, he got like a stab. Yeah, he got stabbed in the eye. that's right yeah so I thought you got the eye was it yeah in the eye so I thought it'd be hard to do a boring book about that

you know that's a pretty interesting story you know people write books about like all sorts of dumb shit like you know the salt path I went for a walk and my husband stopped having cancer yeah you know that's shite so I thought Salman Rushdie should be better it's a fucking drag to read it's not that good yeah

like I actually I'll be honest with you and this is you don't make fun of me I've never actually read a Salman Rushdie book before neither of I Brian thank God I think there are a lot of people

in that oh thank God yeah I was ready for you to like walk out man his family members don't even read

that shit is a yeah yeah fat boy yeah yeah curb enthusiasm yeah yeah

yeah so one really weird thing in it so it starts off and you know it's a

common thing you start off with the incite an event it starts off like I'm at a book I'm at an event

and I'm there I'm thinking oh isn't it nice to have two eyes and then I see a man coming towards me a man with a knife

earlier that day I was sitting around my wife getting ready to go to the festival this book festival and I thought oh to see the world with two eyes I felt safe

I was doing all my favourite things looking through my binoculars trying on new sunglasses I saw a monocle and said I won't need that and literally Like, reenacting my favorite scene from Wayne's world.

Camera one, camera two. Camera one, camera two. Camera one, camera two. He literally goes like, I taught of that old movie. The movie about the moon and the rocket crashed into the eye of the moon. Huh, how strange I would think about something like that. How ironic. Back to the future.

Oh, ironic. It's so I, Alanis. I listen to some Alanis Morris there. But then it like It's like And then I was at the event I saw a man Coming towards me

With a knife He was coming closer I thought Oh no Two months earlier I was Like it's just back And it's just back and forth

You're blue balls Come on And it's like There's not really that much Of interest To it It's just some spastic Oh really

It seems It's just some guy Who I think you only found About something Like the day before It's like Oh Jesus

I bet Fuck That's how it sounds like You know J's it better do it now for the old are your toilet

Kameney what? Jesus now let me get him now but up tip so is this like

he just tried assassinate Salam Rushdie with a knife he just ran out and got him in the eye you know pretty bad

okay sure but in the book knife Salman Rushie's like I won't even call him my attacker

I won't give him the dignity of calling him that or using his name I'm going to call him my A

my A yeah it's very strange that's very strange my A, my A try to A me, but I'm not going to let my A stop me.

That's really stupid. That draws more attention to him. It's just very distracting like that. My A. Yeah, right in my A, my eye. My A.E. I. Yeah.

Fuck off me. Yeah. I mean, like, and then, so then, like, he gets stabbed in, like, chapter three, all right? Right. Do you lose the eye? Yeah, it's gone. He's gone. He's got an eye. patched now. And Salman Rushdie, he was always getting pussy.

He's like known for that. Really? He's like a pussy hound. That's probably why that guy stabbed him. He's like, yeah, it's, now, the Ayatollah, you're getting too much pussy. You banged me, why? He's jealous now. So, like, he was banging. That says the joke in the curb.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That women all want to fuck him. Yeah. Now, yeah. Would it be a thing, though, that maybe a few years later or something comes out, like, oh, he got so much pussy because, you know, he didn't wait for them to wake up, you know.

I don't, why are you getting there? I bet. I'm going to say that right now. That's quite funny, yeah. Ah, yeah, he got a pussy, yeah,

but what if actually turned out he was a rapist? Yes. So there, there you go. A one-eyed rapist. Yeah. The most day,

in the land of the blind, the one-eyed rapist is king. Correct. Correct. I'm glad you're agree with me, Brian. We have that on.

But now he's got a cool eye patch as well. He'd be like, Arr. Doesn't he have a wife? Does he not have a wife? I'm sure they're swingers. He's cheating on her? Oh, great.

The sanctity of marriage means nothing, does it? Actually, you know, like, um, like, there's something interesting in there, you know? Maybe I'll go back and skim it a bit, because I got to the bit where it's kind of like his recuperation, you know? Yeah. And it's all like, they said that, you know, you were fucked. It might have hit the brain, but I woke up and it was like, you didn't. touch the brain, I'm still smart. I can still recite

my favourite PG Woodhouse lines. Ah. You know, so there, yeah. But I didn't really care too much, you know. I went out and bought a telescope. I'm not suffering from it, I'm living with it, you know? Yes.

Oh, actually, speaking of great writers, alright? Jim Shooter died. Who? Jim Shooter, he's a big Marvel writer and editor. I'll tell you, man, This will make you feel inadequate, all right? Jim Shooter.

I'm already there, brother. You're already writing so high. You don't need to say another thing. I'm right there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this will wipe that smile off your face. Jim Shooter. Maybe this gym should get a shooter, and I won't be so inadequate after that, you know?

No, Jim Shooter, right? He's from, he's American guy, all right? He started writing for DC Comics. he's 14 years old. Yeah, right in Legion and superheroes and he's 14.

I think by the time he was like 27, he was like one day, I think he was the head of Marvel. Okay. That's pretty impressive, you know?

Sure. What, when are we talking? Like 70s, 80s. Back when it was dog shit. Well, no, actually.

Nobody gave a fuck. No, actually quite the opposite. Oh, okay. This is back when they actually were making big money, you know? Like, print was still big.

Not like, no. No, they're just a little mom and pop shop. Honestly, man, now comic sales are fucking, decimated, like, yeah, like, it's

basically, like, unless it's Spider-Man or Wolverine, like, it's going to get cancelled straight away, you know? But, because Jim Schueter died, I pulled out a copy of my book, not my book, but I have it home, right? It's called Marvel, the untold story. It's all about that time in Marvel,

like the kind of corporate kind of world of that, you know? Very interesting book, I've said, but there's a few things in it that I forgot about. Jim Shooter, he should remember, because he wrote a story, get a fucking handle of this, all right? Jim Shooter wrote a story. This is like 70s, so a bit wilder, okay?

Where Miss Marr... You know Captain Marvel, all right? Allison, Bree Larson. Oh, yeah. Okay. So she meets a guy called Magnus, all right? And Magnus... Big cock.

Well, actually, you know, Magnus, sorry, doesn't even need to use his cock. No. So Magnus is from... He's like a super being, all right? And he falls in love with Captain Marvel. And he uses his mind. to implant himself into Captain Marvel

to make her pregnant. Oh. Yeah, all right. So he makes her pregnant and they're lovers, okay? Oh. And then she gives birth to Magnus. What?

Yeah, she gives birth. So it's actually Magnus, her son grows up to be her lover. Wow. Yeah, didn't mention that in the Captain Marvel movie. That is weird. Yeah, that's what I mean. They were smoking dope back then.

They have fun, you know? Yeah, yeah. Couldn't do that now. woke. Sure. Yeah, yeah. But that's pretty cool. I'll be thinking about that for ages.

That'd be cool at porn, wouldn't it? So, yeah. Well, then, what happens to the Magnus that impregnated? Her. It's the same Magnus. So, he gets... That'd be cool mind-bending porn, though, wouldn't it? She gives birth to him.

She gives birth to a kid. He goes through a time portal, obviously, all right? And he comes back as Magnus the adult. Oh. And he's like, I need to get you pregnant to keep the cycle, to robberous, you know? That's great. The snake eating his own cock. Aurora Borealis

But at the same time You weren't allowed Of gay characters In the comics So you're allowed to have a lad Impregna his own mother To make himself, right? Sure

But if there was a queer It was like, hang on now This is a family business here The only time they're allowed Have gays was like This is true There's a comic book Where these two gay guys

Try to rape the Hulk Oh, what? Yeah, oh Their egg on their face Okay, they're in the YMCA And these two gay guys See hey look at this Bruce Banner Pips,

Weak, let's fucking take him, you know? Oh, my God. What you're going to do, turn to a big green monster where you bend over you. Oh, geez. Yeah, but he only transformed like an hour and a half in. He's like, oh, actually, oh, no, ah. Oh, you don't make me horny.

You wouldn't like me when I'm horny. He transformed just make his anus bigger, you know? More, Hulk is size queen. Hulk be gaped out. I'm feeling bit lightheaded there Yeah But anyway

RIP Jim Shooter A real legend A bit of a You know A prickly character Apparently Okay You know

Became a bit mad with power I think But if you're not young And you become like Head of Marvel You know Sure And like Stan Lee was long gone

He was off in Hollywood Trying to make Marvel movies He was getting to be A mall rats Yeah literally Yeah Man it's funny as well

Stan Lee He tried for so long To get Marvel movies off the ground considering where we are now in the culture right but like no one wanted to make Marvel movies so it's like that's fucking dog shit spider what?

So Spider-Man was kind of the first successful one Of actual like bit There was like ones beforehand like Blade You know that's like a sneaky one Oh yeah yeah Yeah actual proper this is a superhero movie That kind of thing yeah So literally at one stage

They bought up pages of like a variety And they had ads And the ads are like Here at Marvel we have so many fun characters Why don't you contact us and talk about licensing some of them. Come on. What are you got to lose?

What are you, chicken? Yeah, and of course, it's really impressive the Marvel style. I'll talk with something cool in a minute, don't worry. But the Marvel style is so impressive because literally it was Stan Lee would be like, hey, why do you a comic book where Spider-Man fights a villain?

There. And the artist would go and do the whole comic book. Right. Like storyboard, almost like just do the whole thing, all right? And then Stanley would just add the dialogue afterwards. Oh. Yeah. So they'll all like the, oh, bam.

I'll get you, Scorpion. Like, it was like that, all right. Hey, you punched me in my face. Yeah. I don't appreciate that one bit. And then the artist would get no merchandising or rights. Like, man, it's actually crazy. A lot of the artists, like, died in their thirties.

Really? Literally, like, so many artists who read the book, he started panicking. It's like, this artist, he'd work for seven days a week, do, like, four or five pages a day. And it's a collapse that train, you just died, heart attack. Oh, my God. No drink, no drugs.

Exercise, you know, just collapse dead. Just the stress of drawing the green goblin. Yeah, and Howard the Duck. Like, yeah, just like... Have you ever seen Howard the Duck? I have not, no.

That was actually a very depressing moment from Marvel. It was like, Howard of Duck's to be next big thing, you know? It was like the most colossal failure of all time, wasn't it? Like, it ruined Leah Thompson's career.

The chick from... Isn't she a trans swimmer? No? Oh wait. Maybe you're right. Who am I thinking of then? I think her name is Leah Thompson. She's like from... Well, don't look it up.

She played the mother in Back to the Future. I know what you're talking about now, yeah. Don't need look it up. But yeah, so she was in Howard the Duck. Isn't there like a sex scene with the Duck? There is Duck Tits. I see a lady duck. And there is like a kissing. It's not like a full-on like, yeah, you

fucking yeah do you like it rough don't you yeah yeah yeah duck fuck yeah put more feathers in my mouth or whatever yeah ducks have uh rub your vaj on my bill ducks ducks uh ducks have like screw penises as well you know that yeah so the screw penises so when they go into a woman uh the woman can't uh the lady duck all right yeah uh it can't get the penis out until the ducks finished cats have that as well don't they not a score nature brilliant. Steve Irwin never talked about that, did he? Crokey, looks like the duck

is got his coax screw, and the cat's got, the cat is more like a, it's not a corkscrew, it's like little spike shoot out so that the lady cat can't get away. My word. Yes. I'll tell you, David Attenborough. And people say there's no God.

Yeah. But, yeah, Howard the Duck was a big failure. Howard the Duck at the time was a huge thing. people like it was George Lucas involved people were like people were buying like so much Howard the Duck merch they're like oh ho ho this is it boys they were like it's the new Star Wars

this is going to change everything and it became like the biggest punch line like it's still has it gotten any kind of critical re-appraisal not even like the other freaks who like review everything but actually it's a very interesting commentary on Americans just like no there's like to show you the critical drinker didn't say

actually how are the doke was a subversive masterpiece. I was way ahead of its time, but the blacks and the trannies couldn't handle it. Slow, what you expect? He's a very angry, young man. It is, yeah. It's funny when he likes something, though.

Yeah, it feels weird. Yeah, I don't like him. It's like, when your dad says, I love you. It's like, ugh, what is that? Daddy critical drinker. Have you seen what he looks like? No. Oh, I just put on when you were...

Holy shit. You went to the shop stairs, so I was like, he's gone. Put on some critical drinker. yeah he's got like proper like shades on and like a perfectly kept beard you know yeah the woke illuminati made iron heart and it's a complete devoid of moral integrity you know that which he's right I watched Iron Heart oh you finished there yeah the bit I actually I kind of skipped like five episodes and just went to that because the last episode I heard

about this for ages Sasha Barrett Cohen plays the devil yes so I was like oh what's gonna happen all right. It literally Sasha Baron Cohen shows like yeah I'm the devil yeah

I'll bring your friend back to life but I own your you owe me something A Faust staying packed yeah yeah

and then she says yes Ironheart and her friend comes back to life and that's the end oh we're never going to get to

see probably won't be a season two yeah so I actually distinctly remember seeing that Sasha Baron Cohen

had been cast as like Mepistow were like, yes. No, I distinctly remember, I was actually waiting for a girl, okay? I was outside her place, and I saw that, and I was like giddy, you know?

And I kind of like a moment of like, why am I even talking to women? Yeah. You know? What a waste of time. I could just be waiting for, like, because it's like three years ago, and it's like, well, they're filming it now. It'll probably be released very soon, won't it? Because it's still going to be so popular, you know? Why, I'm hanging out with this girl. What am I going to do?

Make her, my wife. From Borat. I'm Bruno. Yeah. Or whatever he says. You know, I actually listen to an interview, very interesting interview with Larry Charles. He was talking about the difference of making all those films, you know? Yeah.

When they made Bora, it was real like guerrilla film making Us Against the World. Yes. And you could make Bora as like, you know, he'd make Bora a big racist, a big rapist, a big like, you know, anti-Semi. Yes. And a lot of the Americans are like, oh, he's just foreign. Yeah. They kind of gave him a lot of leave. way, you know? He's just

different from us. He was just like a stupid foreign guy that people are like ah, he's not too sharp. But with Borat, it was sorry, you know, Bruno, it was like immediately like violence, like almost. It was way harder filmed that, you know? It was way more from a technical level. How do we keep just

seeing going with him with someone be like, fuck off, fag? Yeah, yeah. I remember watching like the bit at the end in the cage fighting we're all like the rednecks are going mental. Like I saw that in the cinema, I was fucking dying laughing. It was like, the funniest

shit I ever seen in my life. And they've talked about it, they had to, like, create, like, a, basically a hatch in the ring so that they could, like, go down into the hatch and basically disappear. Like the victims and the troubles. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

Or, like, Harriet Tubman, you know, the Underground Railroad. Man, Sashbren Cohen should play Harriet Tubman. Boiakashai, he is me, Harriet Tubman, you get. He was saying, like, does it because I is black? Well, yes, yes it is, Harriet, now that you mention him, I don't care for you. What is stains?

What is this stains massive of which you speak? And then he was talking about those two, which are very much like, the kind of hybrid between, like, you know, pranks and narrative, you know. Then did Dictator, and Dictator was way harder. Just from the, you know, a technical point of view of, like, you have, like, other people in scenes with dialogue, and you have to, like, coordinate all that, and you can't just, like, riff and, like,

like, what's the name the character again? Like, uh, um, Agubert Labby or something. It's like some racist shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something I would never laugh at that kind of stuff. Al-Hadine or something like that. Like, it's like, he's not a character Sasha Baron Cohen's done before.

Yeah, yeah. So they don't exactly, he can't just disappear into the character, and, like, you have to takes and shit. you know like it's very yeah it was kind of felt very undercooked that whole film you know I mean it's even like um you know just haven't like you know like a narrative with actual like scenes and and that you can't just like see see where it goes yeah and kind of build from there you know have bit of fun with it but then they would kind of awkwardly try and shoe horn in like

sort of you know real world kind of like oh just him interacting with the unsuspecting republic I think he had a lot of disagreements about how much of that to do and how much, like, how much this you want to be like, fucking, like, you know, the great dictator, like, how much this you want to be like an actual, like, important movie and how much of this you want to be funny. It kind of just

failed on both points. Yeah. Now, he didn't work on Grimsby, which is his eternal Shane, because Grimsby, you know, that was like the culmination of all that, right? Yeah. He says, actually, he doesn't really get on that well with Sasha anymore. Sasha's gone a bit with the IDF and all

debt, debt to Sasha Barre Cohen apparently like they kind of disagree with the kind of genocide stuff you know magic no no

it's low hanging fruit Hamas yeah and he yeah he was trying to be diplomatic about it you know but he was just being like yeah you know

like we both went to Palestine we came with very different opinions about the people and uh well like even people have sort of in retrospect gone back to the character of Borat is like it's this very

staunch Zionist guy basically punching down on sort of stereotypes about like Middle Eastern you know like Muslim men and stuff I can't where the post is common online because people really don't like that kind of stuff Oh what I just said Yeah yeah you know when anyone goes

Not even like saying like should be banned And he goes like I was a bit looking back on it It's a little bit you know like Oh the walk yeah You got out of bed and found somebody offended about did you Typical LibDor woke, snowflake. I was watching a thing, I showed it to you, okay,

it's Michael Barrymore, my God, all right, my hero. Put some respect on his name. The British Sasha Baron Cohn will actually know. The non-Jewish Sasha Baron Cohn, all right? And it's Michael Barrymore, but some reason, this is popular. This is like number one show in Britain back in the day.

It's him and like, I think about 30 children. I mean like seven-year-olds. And they're all dressed up like little soldiers. Yes. Like they're all off to the Gulf, like Falklands, all right and they're do it's a comedy song where each verse is from a different country yeah so it starts off english you know they're singing english yeah uh but then the joke is that when they're doing their other countries they're just saying they're not it's not actually in french let's say

right so instead of being like singing in french they're oh yeah do do do do iful tower french Spaghetti. You're saying like random words, all right? And you can imagine. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And again, these are little tiny children, right?

But then they do Japan, all right? And Japan, think about every, think about what you would do for Japan. They did it, all right? And it's one thing seeing like a grown man do like the whole like, you know, oh, so, that kind of stuff, all right? But when it's like little kids, some of those little kids are Asian as well, you know? It's like... But even their kind of

pulling faces, almost like Barrymore said be more Asian. Yeah, yeah. Not, that's too Asian. Yeah, yeah. But it's funny that like... This is pre- Watershed.

Go on. But it's funny that, like, you know, you watch that. And I'm not watching that being like, oh, you call the guards. We knew hate speech legislation. Yeah.

Like, that has the real crime Barrymore committed. But like, it's on the YouTube, all right? Some people like, geez, that's a bit mad. it was shown back then that's it

all right and the comments like oh why do you go fucking put your head in the stand you can't enjoy anything these days

can you you and your ilk you know you and your blue-haired fucking little communist uh

little communist pigs he won't let us enjoy good old fashion British telly you know I feel bad for the girl

I work with the receptionist they won't watch I try to show this to her on my phone okay and she was like oh put your cock

away or shit when I'm showing her compilations of David Williams playing hide the sausage oh yeah remember that man that is honestly

the craziest thing I've ever seen if you haven't watched it's on YouTube multiple videos of David Williams playing hide the sausage it's insane he's doing a sexual assault in front of a cheering audience that like the Royal

Palladium you have huge huge shows and they're cheering them on so I always heard about David Williams doing like hide the sausage. And I assumed it wasn't like that bad, like a little bit risky. Man, you're right. It's literally like he gets some guy up on stage.

Like, oh, where's the sausage? He starts grabbing the guy's cock. Holds him down is pulling down his jeans and his underwear. The guy is scrambling and David Williams using a lot of upper body strength and what seems to be quite, you know, like he's done this before. He's well practiced. This isn't his first time ripping off. the trousers of, you know, a

reluctant person. It's fucking mental. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. He's literally like doing a fucking deliverance on some kind, okay? He's like pulling his pants down. He's like, where's your sausage? The whole crowd are cheering, they're laughing. This is like the best thing they've ever seen. Yeah, okay? They all paid 50 quid

to be there and they're delighted. Fucking bargain, yeah? And that got, like the guy, like just looking at his face afterwards, he's still trying to laugh at off, but he's clearly so drunk. There's multiple videos him doing this. And the videos on YouTube are him doing it like men,

like men, okay? Like, of age, okay? Adults. But apparently, like, sometimes he have a bit of fun with it, you know, and he do, like, children, you know? Yeah. But only, like, you know, 12 or everything. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know,

they're all going through puberty. They want to hide the sausage anyway, you know? Big little Britain fans, you know? Computer says no. Yeah. He's just like, and this was like, like I said, on telly, people loved them, all right? He was, they were the toast of the town. But it's funny because I always taught David Williams was gay, all right?

And, you know, you watch Hyde the sausage where he's like sexually assaulting men, all right, on stage. And, you know, he's looking for, he's grabbing men's cock. So I was like, okay, that's a gay guy. Yeah. But, like, he's mostly straight, I think. Yeah, I think he only hooks up a woman. I think he kind of plays. He does it.

He's fucking, what do you call? Like, you know, he's a, you know, a soldiers when they pretend to be soldiers. Stolen, stolen, valor. Stolen homosexuality, you know? He's like, doing all this like, ooh, a big sausage, all right? Kind of like a Russell Brand type. Like, oh, I love a big sausage me.

But then, like, he's on the phone who's agent, be like, yeah, get me another 17-year-old Polish girl. No, he big tach, yeah. Yeah, I think he kind of, like, leaned into the whole kind of effeminate, metrosexual thing so that he could, you know, get away with... Like, literally there's girls that have said their agent will call them, be like, look, David Williams

wants you now. You're going to be his girlfriend next two weeks, all right? It'll help your career. Sign this NDA. Don't say nothing. And also, a bit awkward. I'm not actually asking you. I'm telling you, it's going to happen.

He's actually in the house right now. He is in the house now. He's going to hide the sausage. Hello! I'm a lady. Now fucking get your nick of yourself, love. it's him the two lads like Lou and Andy showing up

who gets to sit in the wheelchair I want that one yeah no hey Andy you're not supposed to have six with underage boys when they're sleeping yeah no

I want that one yeah great stuff great stuff man it's crazy that was like bad like four years well how long with that show go they got like years out

and then American adaptation as well and just like it's just the same sketch over and over and over again. And just more and more blackface as well, yeah. So, man, Jim Davidson watched Little Britain's like,

she should be full on, isn't she? Jim Davidson with all woke watching it. Oh, you can't do that. Dressing up like a Chinese lady, a bit much, yeah. I know, and come fly with me is way worse. What are the characters like,

ping pong and sing song? Like, I'm not even, it's genuinely what they're called. That's like something you come up with. I think it's a little more Well, again, like, you just say, like, it's a bit off, isn't it? To people like, you woke, cunt. Yeah, little pussy.

Yeah. Oh, my, it's actually, like, I kind of respect those guys in LA, you know? Okay. Well, there we go. We got that. Now that the allegations are all coming out, Brian's on record. I respect it. I'm like, I never like Little Britain before.

I mean, it's insane to go, I'm like getting Little Britain now, you know? It's actually very funny, yeah. In fact, it makes talk provoking, isn't it? Like, that guy, he's the prime minister. And his assistant is fucking queer. Makes you take, you know. Yeah. Maybe I'll go back on this to the original BBC Radio 4 version.

Oh, it was the radio thing before? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. With no fun, you couldn't see the black face. You just imagine it. Yeah. Or, you know, like, bring the radio into the bathroom. It's you in the bathroom mirror with the boot polish,

and then the radio's online. I picture you put boot polish onto the radio, self. It's just not the same. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I may watch

more Little Britain. Ah, but yeah. I love that little guy, not to be mean, okay. You know the guy who's like, I was accusing Matt Lucas

of raping him, you know? Yeah. Oh. Say no more. I'm not only mean or anything, but it's very funny.

Is it? Okay. There we go. There we go. Don't take that with context. I wouldn't, I wouldn't possibly.

No, no. But then, like, people are going all conspiratorial with it. It's like,

Oh, was Matt Lucas who Richard Dad was talking about in Baby Rain Deer? I don't think. Does that Matt line up, you know? No, I don't know. Probably not. But, you know, you know how people on TikTok are? They don't care about facts. Oh, you're right. Yeah, I'm being a nerd. I don't think you need to back your sources. Ah, yeah. That's great now being mentally ill on TikTok. There's a lot of it around. There sure is. I feel like people are catching up. I feel like, you know, in America, people are mentally ill for years and years. But now in Ireland, we're getting it as well. And we're getting a lot.

lot of it now. People are making up really for the last time. Yeah. The amount of like people I see recording in their cars and it's like, you know the guy you sent you actually, he's always walking around Trindy talking about like, yeah, the Trindy, yeah, the Trindy, yeah, the Trindy, yeah, the Trindy petos, you're all peedown.

Yeah, wait, the guy with the ski goggles. Yeah, who is that guy? My hero. I don't even know what, like, I can't figure out what he is. Yeah, the Goblins, the Trincy Goblins, you're all goblins, the Padoes, where's the Dungeons, yeah? Well, like, I don't know what he's

even trying to say he seems You know what James? I don't think he knows it I think he's a bit unwell He's like Big Mad Andy from Beep Show I just want the voices to stop I've got to drink all this pint To stop the beados in Trinity

Yeah he's There's a lot of wacky characters Out there you know And we need more of it you know There's always been characters You know like I told you before It was a lad in Carrel back in day Used to pretend to be a cowboy

Oh yeah Never heard of this Yeah, hung himself. Well, howdy, partner? I'm gonna last owe me. You know this James Franco bit, the news. He's the first time to no one.

Well, we're an hour there, by the way. Oh, okay. I feel like we did it was a little bit of the start where, like, you were just talking your own. I wasn't helping you. No, you were a great. You were talking about Superman. No, no, I just meant I was actually not,

I didn't hold the mic. Oh, okay. I wasn't me self-deprecating. sorry I never would No I know you wouldn't Yeah

But uh Yes Oh before we go actually We really made me laugh recently Okay Is I'll listen to a bit The Tucker Carlson podcast Sure

And the ads he does Are pretty funny Because They're not like Things you've heard of It's kind of It's kind of Alex Jones He's not doing ads

For Better help The new Lexus You know It's all this like You know American thing like

American coffee you know it's all that you know but he's selling like American meat and it's funny because like I kind of forget how annoying and gay his voice is sometimes you know and how high pitch you can be so he's like yeah American meat is a new company

it's called USA American meat and it's good meat have to say now because a lot of meat doesn't even come from America it's a foreign meat I'm an American I know I'm sorry man I'm an American he literally goes like like fucking Amadeus like he's been fucked in the ass

He's taking some American meat Right into the meat factory Yeah Right up the sausage factory Yeah CIA acid That's what they say Well his dad

He worked for the CIA Yep And his dad was in the CIA And And Rogan's a CIA acid Oh well I could have told you that Yeah And

You should have Yeah I mean he looked like a fool You know I went to the What's it called The space jam The what

What's the place In Austin Oh the mother shit Yeah I went to the space yeah I went to the mothership there I'm surprised the mother ship has been shot up more it seems like the mecca for insane people like us to go to and be like that's not the real Joe Rogan

it's an imposter the real Joe Rogan is six foot four with a thick head of hair he's hilarious and he doesn't sweat from his teeth yeah God I think the bubble's really bursted and that whole Austin scene. Apparently, the ticket sales are down for all of them. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

Also, didn't Texas have, like, awful floods recently? Oh, yeah, that's true. See that mayor? No? Now, I'll be honest, now, I don't know exactly, I don't much about Texas politics, okay, but apparently their mayor is, like, a wheelchair man. Hmm. Yeah, he's like, one of those wheelchair users. Yes. Disabled.

Paraplegic? Yeah, whatever, you know, no need to be mean about it. He's a cripple or something like that, all right? But, like, so, they're a mayor. in a fucking spastic chair, right? And he's, like, wheeled out. And he's like, yeah, people saying who to blame for this, you know? But we don't blame, only losers

blame people, you know? You're a loser if you blame me for this. Yeah, you know, we love sports here. And sports, you know, you win, you lose. But when you lose, you don't blame the coach, do you? Wow, that's a interesting tactic. Let's see how that goes. Although the comments aren't like,

he's right. Yeah. Yeah, I think they don't have much, like environmental protection stuff Oh no like they're all isn't it It's very like anti climate change as a hoax

Look all I want is kill Tony to be safe If Tony Hinchcliff dies I have no reason to live anymore You could be the nude Tony Hinchcliff Instead of kill Tony it's kill Brian Oh my God Fucking amazing

We're gonna have the best night Of our fucking lives No, we're not We're no Adam Ray God Adam Ray I never said I was I knew that He's very talented man

Very talented man Yeah I'm I'm in love with him Yeah No yeah No I didn't have anything You say there actually

Yeah I'm a bit tired But What's your plans now For us the week It's fucking Thursday dude Long weekend

Aren't you going home I'm gonna go home Yeah I have some disking To do I'm gonna listen The War and Peace And go disking

What's disking It's like something Farm farmers do. Like what? What does it entail? In fact you have to ask, I think so... I am asking. Why can't you tell me? It's just to go up and down in the field.

Doing what? Just, uh, you have a disc in the back of the field. A disc? Yeah, a disc is, it kind of like, it pulls up the field a bit. Basically, all right, well, I'll get into it then if you want me to, all right? So, when you take up the crops, okay, you get the loads in all that, all right? And you bail it all up. There's still a load of shit in the field, okay? So if you disc it, all right, you put that stuff in.

to the field. That's a very... Now, I don't have to technical terms for everything in the game. But that's what we knew for the last few days you've been like

cutting up the field all right and I bring big loads into someone. Like mother like son huh? Ew, you know

all about taking big loads well... Actually, speaking of disrespecting me and I don't deserve it right? We're real quick

before we go okay, we go along here okay? Fuck it, we're going over all right? Tell the affiliates. We're doing life. Like, I want to know

if this is stupid or not all right? So I went actually as well on Monday. I went to get all right for AIDS yeah your car got committee after you fucked it I don't want that again you put your dick in the exhaust pipe no I was the old NCT all right

yeah so I go there and I don't remember last time but so I didn't wait in all right I have my driver's license and my keys and all that and they go what's your reg number yeah all right now I wouldn't know my reg number off top of my head okay right I have it on the phone all right but I for I swear to God, like a split second, look down on my driver's license, because I thought maybe the reg number is on my driver's license. Right. Am I stupid for thinking that?

I mean, yeah. Why? Why? Because, you know, you get a new car. Every time you, let's say hypothetically, you get a new car. Oh! You don't get your license changed, you know? You're not stupid. No, but I wasn't like, like, whoa.

My license registration is Brian O'Toole. My reg is B-R-I-O-N. Will you be my friend? No, I looked down for literally like a second. I was like, well, is it here, you know? And the woman there, of course, a woman, I was like, no, you're reg. Oh, in the front of your car, you're reg.

Oh, yeah, sorry, I got my phone out, right? And not to make this a trans issue, okay? Oh. But there was a trans one in the fucking office. it's alright right looking at me laughing at me all right and i didn't laugh at you all right all right okay well did they make a mistake with their range no okay no oh oh my fuck oh oh please maybe there's some confusion going on but uh that's what you were thinking I'm the bad guy here.

I'm just the old. They're all looking at me. Like, you know, I got a bit red. Sure, yeah. I mean, it is a... If you honestly, I kind of, like, a younger me would just walk down. I'd be like, throw it her keys.

I'd throw my keys to her and be like, yeah, you drive it from now on. It's your car. I just walk out. You go into the tested area. You have like a hose pipe going into it. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck you. I'm going to the NCT office in the sky. My suicide notice is my regimen. I was just like it's the last thing I need right now I get it look I told you we were talking about the Patreon but I was in a pub last night and apparently it's not the same thing I was being too loud and the bar woman comes over like could you please lower your voice like it was like 11 o'clock at night it was a packed pub everyone was drinking it's a pub in Dublin it's not like you're awake in temple bars like city

center like and we're having a reading group and you've ruined it. I like I was hanging out with some people that I didn't even really know so you know what it's like I'm either going to be a weird quiet introverted freak or I have a few beers

and then I'm a loud mouth disgusting swab creature so those are your options love I don't like that that's how I am I don't like that it's one or the other I wish I was a coo again am I going to change no fuck no well you can't you can't change what you are. You can. No, you can. I'm changing right now. No, you're not. I am. You've never changed

one. Oh, ho, ho. Oh. Hmm. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, exactly. Feel free to correct me or give me a single example. I'm not good at debates, you know. You're fucking, yeah.

You've showed your hand there. I actually, we'll talk about it next week now, but I rewatched. It's one of my little guilty pleasures. They're watched the Gore of a William F. Buckley documentary? Best of Enemies? No, I haven't seen it. All right, well.

I'm familiar with it, though. I kind of, I want to know more about Gore Vidal. He's a very interesting man. He did a lot of work, you know? Yeah. Film, novelist, gay, queer, buffy, homo. Yeah, yeah.

All those things, you know. There's a long old resume, you know. He wrote the pillar and the salt, I think it's called. That's a best. gay romance back in the time it was very racy you know

yeah interesting a guy comes back from World War II and starts writing about gay guys you know but it's always right it's not like

the two gay guys very happy the end it's always like two gay guys and one of them's like I'm not gay and then kills

other guy but he feels bad about it romantic yeah the only love I respect and we'll be going

on a bit long there but you know I don't really like nothing else to do after this well you're

heading back to Carlo to disc up the field. I think I might get a James Bond audiobook. Okay. Which one? Oh, you know what? Actually, not audiobook, full cast dramas.

They're on internet archlyde for free and it's like a full cast adaptation of every single one that Bond books. A full cast, like as in full cast. So it's read by a whole bunch of different people and stuff? No, it's acted out. Oh. Yeah. So it's Capaldi is Q But it's an audio thing

Yeah Okay So it's like Watch out Bond Ooh Look at those big tits Bond Do they ever play

The theme song No Not allowed That's owned by Broccoli productions As you should know Yeah well Well you've made me

Look like quite an idiot Well you know You said something bad to me A while ago And I hang on to that Can't remember what it is But it's like Israel Palestine

You know It's like it's history Nobody remembers But it's very important Yeah I'm going to read more of my two books I have. Two book recommendations here, guys, before we go. Bleeding Edge by Thomas Pinchon and Profilia by James L. Rye.

So those are the two books. Read those by next week and get back to me. Yeah. You really read both of those within a week? I won't read both of them in a week, yeah, but... Well, that's what you just said. So you're a liar then, are you? Oh, you're right.

You got them from the library? Yeah. Okay. Man, start going to library. I'd be good for you. But don't go on a thing list. They're very rude to me. Oh, were they?

Yeah. They were like... Man, the fucking cunts over there as well. Like, look, there's a self-checkout thing, all right? How long have you had the book on? You've got to read your license. Man, so the way all these libraries are now, okay, there's the woman there, okay, at the desk,

and your self-checkout the side. There's no one else there, okay? She's not busy, all right? If I go up to her check out a book, instead of be like, oh, sure, she's like, self-checkouts over there. why can't you do it you fucking bent

oh sorry I'm interrupting you there why are you doing look at your horoscopes yeah fucking scorpio rising con fucking mercury and retrograde

yeah man just I think the whole they really do act like you've asked for a blowjob or something they're like dignity well I might not even ask

my next question then if this is the mood you're going to be in you'll regret it now yeah but let's end it there I've been talking too long I know you got stuff to do no I don't

yeah you gotta go do a gig I bet it's gonna be the best gig you ever do I bet you end up in wheelings I hope not I was in wheelings yeah I bet you end up wheelings I don't want

party in her if you go wheelings text me I'll come all the way back from Carlo I might not go to wheelins and then text you that I'm there

and then you drive there there'll be a well I have a fun time now you'll get red. Like, that's fun, do you? Yeah. Well, it's time to go to

Wielands. Bye. Goodbye.