Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 276 : The Nick Reiner Experience

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

We talk about Nick and Nick.

To start off, I want to talk with something positive. Okay. So... Your AIDS test. Hey, oh! I don't know what I mean, so that's right. It's positive.

So it's smooth sailing. I'm double positive. And it comes to attitude and AIDS. The bits that fell off my penis. Well, that's just getting rid of the useless parts. Now it's nothing but the gold left over. Like when, you know, the rocket ship, when they let go of those, that shit on the side.

whatever the fuck that is you don't need it so yeah the point is okay I have AIDS but I've also watched a movie called AI AIDS I yeah

come on now you got everything can't be I of AIDS okay okay anyway so you watched AI yeah I'm put my foot down here

AI for the straight guy huh alright here we go yeah okay you're laughing now yeah well what if some day you find

if something bad to happen to me then you feel bad wouldn't you not really I don't think

that's why I got the booze I don't feel a thing it's like a cheat code you know I've hacked

the system okay well you know how driving is a tedious boring task yeah crack up in a few

tinnies and woo it's like a roller coaster like space martin man you know

I'm at the time of my life is that or listening to the radio and Joe Duffy's not on anymore so I have to drink it's or T's fault yeah man so news talk got bought out by Israel what's it called now

did you say it in your head kids I bet you did look alright actually I could have went less anti-Semitic there and said that you've changed instead of news talk it's bruise talk but I went with Jews talk

so my apologies look okay let's let's move on from this the Jews don't need this right now okay true they've taken a couple of else so let's get to the movie alright let's stop having fun and let me talk yep

we're ending the year as we began so let's do it so I watched AI's my point now I always heard about AI it was a film that Kubrick worked on for a long, long time. Yeah. Like decades.

Never cracked it. You never got it just right. One of his many unrealised projects. Exactly. Like the Holocaust movie and all that. So at one stage, he offered it to Spielberg. Spielberg was busy, whatever, whatever. Okay. Jurassic Park, whatever.

Then Kubrick died and Spielberg turned what was left of the project into his movie. Yes. So I always thought it was kind of like, you know, inspired by Kubrick. kind of thing, but it was mostly a Spielberg movie. I watched a bit of it at a friend's house one time, and we both thought it was kind of weird, and we end up watching a trailer park boy, he's live

in Dublin instead. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Which is way better, let me tell you. Could Kubrick do that? Could Kubrick write a character like bubbles? I don't think so. Yeah, live in Dublin is great. Oh, so they mentioned weed at one stage? No way.

What? Dude, how did they not get erased? Oh, Bubbles did. get arrested, didn't it? For weed, yeah? For too much weed. Yes, yeah. Reefer madness. So,

I didn't have no much about AI, all right? And this weekend that I watched it had a great time. I did more research, and now I want to watch it again, now I know more about the film. I didn't realize, so it's basically word for word, the Kubrick script.

Okay. And it follows very heavily, like the storyboards even, all right? So it's very much Kubrick inspired. Yeah. And the middle part though was the bit Cuberk couldn't get right. So he's the first act he liked and the ending he liked.

The middle half, he was like working different things in different ways. He made it darker and then lighter and he couldn't crack it. So the middle part is Spielberg basically. Okay. Now when it came out, originally like 2001, I believe, it did okay

people liked it but since then it's funny a lot of people's criticisms are like oh the ending is so Spielberg even though it's actually Kubrick

yeah but people were like oh it's so Spielberg all the emotions and all that but since then it's really gained a cult of kind of basically a dedicated fan base

almost a lot of people champion a reappraisal exactly yeah yeah people maybe a bit too much, to be honest, they're kind of like, you know, yeah, I'm glad Kubrick died, he couldn't

fucking bum, scruffy cudge, shave your beard and wash your balls. Barry Lyndon, a bunch of shoy no explosions. What the fuck? Fucking using candles. So there's fucking lights there,

you stupid bullocks. What the fuck was he did? Is he fucking stupid using candles? You fucking turn on the lights, will you? Idiot. yeah so that was uh that was roger ebert's review of barry linden

uh so point is okay um i watched the film i was very surprised by where it went it does not go where you think it's going to go okay so it starts off and it's kind of like what the trailer shows and what i assumed okay it's a little boy yeah or is he he's a robot yes so it's little haley joel osmond which by the way watching the film now it's much funnier because uh of recent Haley Jill Osmond of his current work Yeah, he got arrested while drunk

skiing, and then he called the cop Yeah, he went full fountas Yes, yes He went full yay, all right? He did, yeah, so it starts off, we're in like the 22nd century and in the opening kind of like monologue from the narrator

we get a very quick like, oh by the way the global, you know, the ice caps have melted. Most cities are destroyed or underwater. Lots of famine and debt and everything's fucked basically. Woman president. It's just nothing. She caused it, yeah.

With her period. She had a period so big it melted the ice caps. That's true. That's true. Look it up. That actually happened in my head. Yeah. That's the part. That's the only part of the film Kubrick was 100% on. I was like, well, I've nailed that part. That one

is scientifically, medically sound. So, I don't have to worry there. So, and this mentioned, oh, by the way, he's also a one child policy. Right. Okay, now, now we cut 22nd century, and it's William Hurt,

the great actor. He's a little bit like the Steve Jobs of his time. Right. And he invents robots. And the robots and this, they're nearly all, like, very obviously robots. They're getting better and better, but they're slaves, basically.

They're like in the Flintstones, basically. a robot doing this, you know, cleaning the toilet. It's a living. Yeah. Robot drivers, that kind of thing. But his new product

is robot children. Real life-like. Right. Yeah. He's like, this is my passion now. That is quite weird. And what are the robot children for?

Just, you know. Whatever, whatever you need. You can take him on a fishing trip, maybe. You know, it's, don't worry, you can watch.

Wipe their memories, so it's five. Control, alt, delete. Yeah. The buttons in his anus. Oh, I'm on the Robo Nance register. I'm a Robo Nance. You know, they're like Nance Hunters, you know? You say, you fucking, you want to fucking meet your child, do you?

I do not understand. Yeah. You want to touch his floppy disc? Yeah. Want to touch his software with your hardware? what hack his mainframe yeah i think we don't know what that means you're sick pal sick so you're touching tamagotchis having you you a dirty fucker so um he's invented his child robot the david okay okay and there's a couple and the dad works for william hurt okay but they got

a problem see so they have a son but the son has a very rare disease that there's probably going to mean no cure ever. Okay. All right. So he's been put in hibernation. Right. And the mother is sad because their child is dying, all right?

You know, kind of irrational, you know. Yeah, they do. They know. So what to think... Yeah, yeah. So what to think is, we'll give her a son. It's like a robot child, all right?

Okay. And that kind of will help to process grief for anything. And if this goes well, they can sell the robots like, you know, a friend for a child called these lonely children. Uh-huh. This can be like your brother or sister, you know?

Like all the incels. Exactly. Yeah. All the incels. what they need a little boy a little robo fuck body yeah no no okay sorry do not put words in my mouth yeah i'm not i'm not green with that i'm like yeah yeah don't we all need that yeah well you know christmas is coming guys check my wish list holidays are coming holidays are coming this season watch out ryan's about he's gonna get your robo child

I disagree with that. The point is, okay, they bring the child back and literally program the child, so it's called imprinting. So it has the memories of their song? No, no, not like that, but it's just like the imprint is so it's like a child and it says, mom, me, daddy, that kind of thing. Oh, I see. Yeah, and the way it works is, so it's imprinted now. It is your kid, okay? But if you don't like it, bring it back to the factory and just press the reset button.

Ah, okay. And resets it again. But the point is, at first it's kind of weird, you know, it's like, hello, my. mommy. It's like, uh, um, hello.

Hello, mother. Hello, father. Here I am it. Yep. Gradada. Um,

no, I don't like this new son of ours. But it's like, it's like, um, the more you talk to it, the more kind of picked up human traits and stuff. You know,

you laugh, here's laughter, it can laugh itself, you know, okay. Uh, and after a while, you know,

it's going pretty well. You're having dinner with the child. The child obviously doesn't eat food, but it kind of like just sits there with a plate, you know, doing emotion. all right and they start to like talk to it as if it's like a person okay and you know they you know read them stories and stuff and it really helps the mother yeah to kind of process

this and she's like you are kind of like a son to me but I don't have to wipe your ass so it's much better unless I really want to mommy I feel strange what are you doing chival of fudge up there it's a robot right it's not a thing it's not a person you know Your honour. Yeah. But you know what the kicker is, all right? They find a cure for the son. Oh, yeah.

So now they've got two kids, all right? Yeah. And the mother is still like, well, I like both my sons. But the dad is very much like, well, we kind of got our son back now. So we don't really. You don't really need it. Yeah. He's got the receipt still.

Now, the son is lovely. Haley Joel Osmond is very good in this as a child. Very believable. Because he's playing it as an actual child. Okay. Yeah, he's not doing the whole like. Mother, help me. Right, right, right.

Yeah, so he is fully become a child now, right? He loves Pinocchio, by the way. Right. Because Pinocchio is, like, he loves that. Is he a real boy? Yeah, he loves all that, right? But the actual biological son in this is a real dick. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, well, again, it's kind of like, you wake up, all right? Yeah. Who the fuck is this? It's not like having a new baby brother. It's like someone who's your age. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'm your brother.

But, like, he can run fast. do more push-ups help around the house a lot better can do mats in his head his robocock is huge we don't cover that but that was a Kubrick

no it didn't make it to the film it's implied I'm sure but the son does not like him he's always fucking with the his brother right Haley Jawsman and at one stage it's actually like pretty like

very unpleasant a lot of this stuff okay so at one stage he like has a knife he's like oh you feel pain of a stab yeah oh wow and like starts you know stabbing him and stuff It doesn't feel pain, but he's still, like, scared, okay? Sure.

And at one stage, he's like, oh, you know what you should do. You should go inside, go into, you know, mom's room, okay? And, like, you know, scare her. You know, stuff like that. So then, like, obviously, like, he goes in and, you know, scares the fuck with the parents. They're like, oh, what the fuck is this thing doing here? Right, right. And another time, you're having a pool party, okay?

And the kids are, like, bullying Haley Jawsman. So he hides behind his brother. Okay. But they're at the pool. So he accidentally knocks, falls over and drags his brother in, wait him to the pool. Oh. And, of course, the sun just sinks. He'll, he's a robot, so he just sinks straight away.

Okay. So he's just at the bottom. And then the parents think that he's trying to drown the sun, you know. Can robots go in water? Is he waterproof? In this he is, yeah. Yeah, no, he's like very advanced. Right, okay.

So the point is. I'm just, to be honest, I'm just picturing a toaster with some googly eyes on it, you know? Big old face So the point is, okay The parents don't like this The brother is not like him at all And the dad is like I'm putting my foot down here

Bring him back to the factory Okay And the mother's like okay But the mother She doesn't have the heart To actually bring him Because being reset Is basically dying

Yeah Because your personality's gone You just become basically Like you say a toaster With eyes A toaster with depression Right So

What's a toaster with depression Gonna take into the bath To kill itself Oh, that's her real catch 22 It drops of human in the bat So the point is Okay, this is basically worse So instead of bringing them back

To be humanely dealt with She goes like Oh let's walk around the forest for a bit Okay mommy I'm gonna get in the car now No mommy please don't No I'm getting in the car No mommy please

I'm like Pinocchio I can turn into a real boy get the fuck away from she doesn't say fuck but basically like you know she's like i'm sorry but goodbye wow now i didn't mention something okay haley joel osmond has a little teddy bear with him it's a robot teddy bear okay that talks called ted no way yeah yo your mom's your fucking cut can you believe she fucking left this year let's get fucking stone dude fuck those fucking assholes man let's get some whores.

Yo, I'm fucking wicked smart, all right? We can fucking get wasted now. Those guys

will fuck. I'm pretty sure they were Jewish. I know we're not allowed to ask and nothing, but come on. God damn.

So that's a funny like subplot as well back to like, it's basically Ted. Yeah. Yeah. But so far it's like family drama.

All right. And it's pretty heartbreaking like the idea of leaving the robot Sunday. Hey, your husband. Hilly Jolzman does such a good performance in it. You think, like, the Spielberg gives him a little slap or something for him.

Kick up the arse, all right? Right. But so far, it's family drama, all right? And you're like, okay, again, you know, like, this is something, you know, it's like a 12s, okay? Next scene, we go completely different, all right? We cut to Jude Law, and Jude Law is a sex robot. Oh, yeah. Hello.

He is a male jigolo, a jigglebot, all right? Robo jigolo. Yeah, yeah. And what he does is he goes around... Dead or alive, you're coming in me. Yeah, yeah. Come on. What?

But what he does... Nah. Get nothing for. I'm trying to concentrate on this complex plot, right? So, what he does is he... He has his customers, all right? And he memorizes what they want, and he can change himself to be more like that. So in real life, he's very like, oh, hello there.

I'm off to meet my client, yeah? But then he can, like... Hey, what's up Dahl, how you doing? Like, uh... Yo, what's up, girl? Yeah, yeah. You know you want that robot dick up your pussy, baby?

Come on, nah. Bend over. Let Daddy see the sugar, nah. So he's working, like, to slums. And we see, like, robot female prostitutes as well. Okay, so it's, like, a whole, like, underclass of, like, uh, robot sex workers and robot janitors and stuff. Right.

So, you're like, well, this is a bit strange now. And the next thing, okay, is he goes to meet one of his clients. And he says, hello. to like the guy who works at reception is in the hotel okay goes up and there's a woman in the bed and he's like hey lady how are you getting on my favorite customer oh is that a tear what the fuck it's like blood and the woman's being stabbed the pieces

oh shit yeah and he's like what the fuck and the hotel receptionist is standing there he's like yeah now I own you oh yeah so he's framed the robot yeah so now he's like you have to do what I want you to do and like so do the robots they have the feelings and stuff and not really no they've programmed to have fear and stuff

like that right now like Jude law and all them they act much more like robots okay they're much more like you know very straight up and they kind of turn their head and stuff it's more robotic okay okay and some of the robots actually see older models

and they're like proper like you know like square bodies yeah you know proper like fucking like Doctor Who aliens you know right okay Superman style aliens So there's lots of different types of robots in this So you're like, holy shit

Now it's turned like a kind of murder mystery thing So Jude Law gets to fuck out of town And he's on the run now He has to hightail it to Robot Mexico Adios meo Aye, y'i, y'i No, Cinco de Mayo Robo de Mayo

Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, great Oh yeah No, it's good Tell your face Well, look, I'm just trying to have my coffee I haven't drank my coffee

Go on, drink it there I'm doing, I'm reaching I've been reaching to get it Glow, go, just talk for a second Okay, let me tell you Before I get this. Oh, look at that, you did it again. Yep, but the point is, okay,

so so far this is all Kubrick, all right? Now apparently in the original version this sex robot but Jude Law was way more like it was a much darker plough and he was actually a much more

unlikable character and much more kind of like pervy right heard yeah shit on my face you dirty whore I want it all over me I want you to frost me

like a birthday cake you skank call me a clanker and put your hole put your finger in my robo me clanker please I can't say it call me a clanker

so the subplots merge together now okay because we've heard in previous in the film things called flesh fairs flesh fairs you're like what is that that sounds fucked up so in

they're kind of like so outside the cities is a bit more wild all right right and what it's a bit more kind of like a rednecky so what they like to do is like to capture robots that are like on the run kind of like an escape slave in a way it's kind of fucked up like you're out of town

okay do what you want to him right yeah who cares what you got to hear one of them clankers you with the wrong part of town boy it's a little bit like that yeah like they have these shows okay where they murder robots for fun and there's like

there's like they're set like hot dog stands and stuff they've got monster trucks there's like a band playing like new metal, look them up, they're actually a real band. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think they're called like Disturred, not disturbed now, but something started with Dean, disinfectant or something like that. Okay. So they're not like a big

band, okay. Right, okay. But the point is, it's real like hillbilly, kind of like, a bit like maga-ish. Yeah, like redneck, white trash shit. Exactly, and Brendan Gleason is the king of the area. Hell yeah. And he's not, he's doing his Irish accent. Nice one. Yeah. I don't

that fucking robot. I'm Hunt there, Roy, you're getting battered, pal, you fucking smelly robot, thin skin, come. Get them out. Get them out.

So, it's pretty fucked up because they have them tied up to things, okay? Right. It's very real. It's not like, we kill them with a magnet

or something. It's like, do you set them on fire and shit? So, like, in the cities and stuff, is it illegal to kill robots or whatever? Just because someone owns that robot.

So it's more like property damage. It's like key in your car. Right. Eventually, yeah, yeah. You're not going to care about the car's feelings too much. Yeah, sure, okay. So, yeah, so they literally have robots tied up. One of the robots is played by Chris Rock, by the way.

Really? A little fun cameo, yeah. Ah, wow, these white motherfuckers try to kill my robot eyes. There's a woe going on with robots right now. There's two sides. There's robots and there's clankers. The clank has got to go. Every time the robots want to have a good time,

ignorant ass clankers come and fuck it up. And then years later, I actually regret my robots versus clankers bit. I've moved on, I've grown, placated right-wing, close-minded, fat white cunts like James Gannon. Hey, why are I catching strays here? But you're watching me like, I knew clankers are like that, yeah. And even he admits it. And he's one of them. So, the point is, really fucked up.

They're killing all these robots. And it's proper like, please don't hurt me. please please you know it's like I was like Jesus this is a bit much now you know but they put

little Haley Joel Osmond out there and because he's a boy and there hasn't been like boy robots before all the people like what's going that's a boy

it's not a robot and Brennan Gleason's from like no it's a robot it's what they're doing now they've got they're becoming more and more realistic but the crowd riot

because they're like you're killing the child here we're falling over this right so in the mad this is a riot he escapes with Jude Law

So they're two robots And they're teddy bear right Right So now they're gonna run And I'm gonna speed up now okay Yeah A lot of stuff happens both go into it Okay some very cool visual stuff

Basically they go to like one of the big cities That's kind of above the water right And they go to like It's kind of it's weird It's kind of like They're version of internet in this film So instead of just going into like You know on your phone

The internet and this is something that you interact with So you go to like an actual like thing, like a phone boot. You put money in. Okay. Like the dreamatorium in community? Um, no. But if you imagine it, it is in a way. No, you ruined it.

No, Abed's dear. It was ahead of his time. Yeah, Dr. Space Time. Remember Dr. Space Time? I didn't like that. It was based on some really stupid, dumb, lame, dog shit thing. A very cruel parody, if you ask me. It's punching down.

Only autistic Indian men Could like Dr. Spacetime I'm not Indian No you're not But okay so It's like an interface You're talking to it And you ask you questions for money

All right Oh like GROC A bit like GROC But it's GROC as Robin Williams What? Yeah It's Robin Williams Yeah it's GROC and Williams Oh ho

Yes I'm the I'm the Oh I can't really think of. I'm not good at riffing like Robin. Here's saying it's a very hard, difficult rift. Yeah, so like robot Robin Williams from a film you haven't seen. Go.

Oh, ho. Internet. Internet. Oh, what are they fishermen with the internet? My space. Your space. Facebook. Put my book on your face. What? No, I don't know. It's not making sense. I can't make this work. I'm bombing. Oh, my God.

I'm going to kill us. That part was accurate. I'm actually annoyed at myself there That was a very poor performance Oh, don't worry No, it's near the end of the year You can give up a bit So I drink a bit more

But again, I'm really setting hard challenges For you here, you know I spilled it all over myself Fucking half I didn't want to say anything, yeah It's all coming apart, Brian, that's the thing Now it looks like you've pissed yourself Just on your shirt

So now I can piss myself That's the one good thing about Spilling a drink on your crotch If it already looks like you pissed yourself You might as well just That's what I do When I go out for drinks Okay

With all the lads Alright Yes I immediately Like I get a full pint and I just drop it On my crotch straight away And then shit yourself

No It's because I spilled the behind That's why So they asked Robin Williams Where Now I read somewhere I need to double check this now

But I think I read somewhere That Huberk actually Was talking Robbilliams About doing this like in the 90s like this is like okay this was already kind of a thing that like

Rob Williams is up for anyway I think it was written kind of like this would be great for Rob Williams you know yeah it's a bit odd because it's not like the robots like riffing or anything yeah but anyway it just basically says it's more a cameo than anything but basically

Haley Jalsman's looking for a blue fairy you know from Pinocchio oh Jiminy Cricket well I don't know some fairy from what's the fairy in Pinocchio? Oh fairy God mother? Yeah, or whatever. I don't know. I'm not gay.

All right. The point is, okay, you, you've seen no straightway, didn't you? Pinocchio is a very well-regarded. Never, I've never even heard of it. What's it about? Boy, you're a little boy, don't you like, yeah? Little boy, got wood. Jepido, what?

Look, the point is, okay, he wants to find a blue fairy. Give him a location, and it's actually the factory, William Hurt. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. So go there, William Hurt, to talk for a bit um Haley Jawsman

finds a room full of himself basically and that gives him like a fucking crisis of identity you know he's just a fucking thing

you know like in Toy Story when Buzz Lightgear sees all the Buzz Lightgears exactly then Doordone what's he called again not Zordone

Zog that's it is it I don't think it's Zog it's the evil Zog that's it but anyway

looks it's real quick okay so I'm getting bored this myself right it's good man no but I just want move on something else

because I know we only have no much time left okay will go a little long no for the last episode of the year no they don't deserve it but real quick

okay basically hey Jawsman is a bit wobbler okay has a hissy fit he jumps into the water sinks down and he actually finds

there's some like sunken amusement park that actually has Pinocchio stuff in it oh so there's a blue fairy in it a statue blue feather and like Pinocchio

and all that okay so he goes down there seize the fairy cuts the black and you're like is that the end of the film now this is the bit that people didn't like

alright but I'll tell you now we then cut to like I think like 5,000 years later the entire world is destroyed it's like frozen and there's alien

well we don't know if they're aliens or what they are maybe they're advanced humans or something right but they look proper like 90s kind of like you know they've got like real long legs

you know the whole thing like the aliens of the X-Files aliens they'll come from like a birth trauma okay you ever heard that theory no

oh so when you're born your eye you see bright light and everyone kind of looks like kind of a blur you know oh right yeah

yeah that's what the aliens kind of look like oh okay right right yeah so kind of tall long arms and they find this basically old robot of Haley Jawsman

and through they speak with like it's all alien language we get subtitled all right. Glip, glorp, glorp. Yeah,

so they basically say like, oh, this is one of the originals. Ah. This is one of the last surviving robots, okay? Okay.

And they, true, I don't know, they don't really explain through, like telepity or it's like, okay. Some kind of higher technology.

Yeah. They wake them up, basically, in some kind of like dreamscape, all right? And they're talking to him, and they're basically like, what do you want?

And he wants to spend a day with his mother. Oh. So they're like, okay, we'll give you one day so he gets to spend one day with his mother

and like the mother is very much like you know it's not really his mother let's be honest okay it's like it's like a dream okay but the mother

she's in bed in this dream land okay and she's like oh hello there doesn't ask about her husband or you know her biological son okay

they do a bit painting a bit hanging out you know play with a chew chew train and then they get in the bed teddy's there they go to sleep

the end now people didn't liked at the time. But if you think about it's kind of like it's not that happy with the ending really.

It's basically he just dies, you know? Yeah, yeah. They give him like a nice little hallucination before he... Before he dies. Yeah, yeah.

And that's how it ends. Wow. Yeah. It's pretty cool. Honestly. I did like that. It's not like... Because you all liked,

I was thinking, you know, because of Spielberg, it's like he finds his mother. It's like, I'm sorry we ever... Yeah. Yeah. We realized you're the best.

Our other son's a nonce now. And don't go near him Now he's really interested And spending quality time with his baby bro Checking out his pain sensors Yeah No I like that because You know

As you said It's not really a happy ending It's sort of these aliens Who now control the world It's been destroyed Yeah Find this thing's like We'll give you one nice memory

Before we kill you kind of thing Well I think it's implied That like It's like the like the robot shell he's in, okay, is so fucked up. Yeah, yeah,

you're not gonna repair him. That's the being, yeah, like they put him, they're not arced. Put him to sleep like. Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's like putting down a rabid dog.

You know? That's why I say we have a run over child, you know. It's for his own good. Yeah. Stop crying. Bitch. So,

yeah, that I watch AI. Okay. And what else do they do? Yeah, doesn't really sound good to say out loud. So I watch AI and listen to a lot of Nick Futes. Perfect.

That's when I, die, you know, the aliens that would give you one day with Nick Funtis. Brian, you're so cool. I mean, I thought I was racist, but you really take it to a whole extreme. I love it.

You're the coolest guy I ever met. Now, in my defense, okay, I enjoy, you know, it's like, you know, I like the drama. I like the infighting, okay? So Nick Funtis, his views don't really matter

when he's going after... Oh, they don't, huh? Well, I mean, is okay. You don't even need to worry about it, really? Let him get more and more popular if you ask me Nothing to worry about Nothing to be concerned about Teaching schools

There's not even a lot to disagree with Really when you get down to brass tags Wait let me just restart and we'll talk into it What's your opinion Nick Funtis and all the drama The drama I assume You mean just between him and like Kind of So Ones and stuff

Yeah again Nick Firtes Like he is entertaining And he can go off And you know he's quite well spoken and stuff He does, in that, sorry, just to interrupt, in that kind of world, yeah, there's a lot of, like, really fucking zero charisma at dunces and freaks, like Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro. Yeah.

Like, oh, Ben Shapiro, yeah, he's like, oh, he could host SNL. Yeah, yeah, like, Nick Chintes is funny, the shit that he says. But the thing about him is, like, there is still, there's quite a lot of, um, you know, I don't want to say hypocrisy necessarily, but like, so when he's on his own and he's going off, like he's dropping all the slurs, he's going wild. He's dropping slurs, I didn't even hurt, I have to Google him. Honestly, by Google, he means text me. It's like, what's this one mean?

I get back to him straight away. You give me the dictionary definition. I'm quicker than chat GPT, and I'm more accurate. But yeah, so he'll go fucking wild, but then when he's like doing a sit-down interview with like Tucker Carlson or Pierce Morgan or whoever he'll really dial it down and rein it back and be a lot more palatable

He becomes way more politician-like It's almost like his version of code switching in a way You're kind of right in a way Also I don't like is A lot of these guys, not just fountas now These guys, they're so whiny Because they'll like go off for ages

About like the fucking you know Black people and Mexicans and Jewish people And all that But then when they're on shows like Morgan Pierce Morgan and they just call you these buzzwords

all the time like anti-semitic you know racist racist sexist it's just unfair this is just whining like dude

kind of like embrace it if you're going to embrace it yeah exactly that's a thing he kind of he's there's a willingness to be somewhat

hypocritical depending on what forum he's being broadcast on and then there's also the whole thing of him being a virgin

and you know and what's wrong with that well nothing I kind of respect that, you know? Okay. I actually going to get baptized. Okay.

Yeah. You think that's going to work? I think that's going to wash all the stank of your cock. That's what I just basically shower, you know? I'm considering showering, first time ever. I meant the, I meant the metaphorical stank. Because you're quite a sexual. Well, that's beyond.

Let's get, let's worry about the real stank first. That is getting worse and worse. But yeah. So, like, people, you know, all you're a virgin, but then people are like, are you secretly gay? And, you know, that's a thing that he gets attacked on. Look, maybe he is gay. I think people have bigger concerns for him, you know? Yeah, exactly.

It doesn't really... The white genocide stuff. It doesn't really matter, but to us, but to maybe his core fan base, they might not like the fact that he's gay. I mean, he openly, well, he's not gay, I tell you that now. Is he not? I know it for a fact. Okay. Because I, you know, I tried.

Go on. Give me a go on the old goyper stick. But what was my point now? My point is, okay, so I might disagree. I do disagree with it. I might, you know, and one of my off-term. With Nick Funes, okay. But when he's going after other people

in that kind of freaky kind of right-wing world, it is very entertaining, you know? And he always dominates. Yeah, he always as well. Like, even like Tommy Robinson, this offhand is like, yeah, Tommy Robinson, he's never met, he's never walked away from an unsucked Jewish cause.

okay that's pretty yeah I mean that's a roast that's a that could be a Nicky Glacier line you know it's like a man so the reason why I'm watching a lot of him at the moment is he's having a lot of beef of Candace Owens yeah I didn't really

because I don't follow Candace Owens too much sorry about that guys I'll change now she's been really going off about the Charlie Kirk Charlie Kirk and Turning Point USA yeah about the so-called

Charlie Kirk assassination. And she's been asking a lot of questions. Right. Now, I thought she was just like, oh, it's, you know, maybe Israel, you know, paid that guy to shoot him or something like that. That's like the basic conspiracy. I realize just how stupid she's gotten.

Okay. So she's really kind of connecting all the dots here into one big jumble. So she's saying that like the Charlie Kirk shooting is connected to Israel, also Egypt, and also the Macron's. Wow. So there's Egyptian planes flying over as Charlie Kirk was shot, okay? And also some people in the, you know, the event were wearing maroon shirts. Oh.

Think about that. And also in, uh... What does that mean? What do you mean? It's obvious. And then Candice Owens saying she had a dream where Charlie Kirk spoke to her and said, investigate. Then she also had dreamed about beekeeper. A beekeeper?

Yeah, yeah. You know what that means. I don't? What does that mean? I don't know either. I thought you'd know I was hoping you'd know there yeah

no I'm not yeah and also you know the man who claims to be Macron's wife yes yeah okay so apparently he

and that's right that's I said it yeah come at me so he all right actually went to America and worked

did MK Ultra is that right yeah yeah okay yeah and then came back to France

and then did him Mrs. Brown's boys. Right. French Mrs. Brown's boys. Yeah, yeah. So it's a bunch of nonsense, okay? And actually, like, it's almost like so stupid.

You're like, are you being paid to be this stupid? Yeah. Like controlled opposition. Yes, yeah. Like muddy the waters almost. Yeah, because it's so fucking ridiculous that it's just so easy to, what's the word, discredit or ignore and disprove. Yeah.

Yeah. But also, you know, she's doing this whole thing. Like, I'm doing an investigation about the murder of my dear friend. I will not stop until I get the truth. Okay, guys, I just want to take a break to talk to you about this is brought to you by, you know, it's like, is the whole thing just a grift? She doesn't actually... When you're investigating if, you know, a French, you know, some French man pretends to be a woman, use Nord VPM. Yeah, that's right.

Vigina, penis, negligible. Vagina penis negligible Negligible As then you don't know which is which It's fine Check the transcript There was nothing Vagina penis negligible

That's what I said You did well there I did yeah This should be in Patreon But the point is okay She's saying a lot of shit Now when she's saying a lot of this shit It's very vague nonsense

So you can't really get upset about It's like it's the French government It's Egyptian government It's Israel all right Whatever. But she's also really implying that Turning Point did it and Erica Kirk did it as well. Okay. And there's all this stuff for like they were going to do an audit and some money went missing, which probably isn't true anyway.

Something felt like, you know. Well, that's not really that wild. No, that's mental. She's wacky. The idea that Turning Point would like be concerned about money. Yeah. Okay. There's also stuff like people saying like Charlie was going anti-Israel.

Yes. Which apparently isn't really the case. He said, like, he even had, like, a website, okay, that I think was specifically for Israeli donors, okay? And on the website, he discreds Candace Owens. Like, I've not new with Candace Owens, you know, don't, uh, don't... Really? Yep.

But they, like, you know, there's multiple videos of them hanging out. Oh, yeah, for a while, yeah, but not, uh... Okay. But she left, she used to work turning points. She moved to the enemy, DailyWire, left DailyWire as well. Oh, okay, right. She burned a lot of bridges, my point, okay. Right, okay.

So it's not... You really know your stuff here. Yeah, I know. Well, I'm listening to the great man himself. I haven't talked to my family in months. Because I found out from Nick Fuentes, they were actually paid by Israel to adopt me. My parents met in Israel. So a lot of bullshit, okay?

And Turning Point, Erica Kirk, have tried not to address her address. directly okay they've done some interviews where Erica Kirk's like you know anyone who says that will anything

do with the death in my husband I say stop just stop yeah stop she's not she's not very good

in camera she's really not they're trying to push her to be like the next big thing the next star and it's it ain't happening brother

she won't be the star of a Jurassic Park franchise you know I don't think so I mean she won't be next

black widow well she's a widow well she's a widow you. That was unintentional actually. My funniest one, I don't mean to. And then I'll definitely say something I'm trying to be funny, you know?

Crickets. You just spit on me. So, where was I now? So Eric or Kerr, yeah, they are trying not to... They didn't want to give her like the time of day,

but eventually because it's so persistent. And Candace Owens has literally made millions since Charlie Kirk died. Like, her views have gone so up because of this, all right? And she's putting out every single day, this is the thing that changes everything. You know, all those cum nails is like, oh, you know, doing the, like, the phase.

With a magnifying glass. Or doing like the, hmm, you know. Oh, interesting. So, Candace Owens is offered to go to Turning Point and have basically a live debate slash conversation. where she's more welcome to bring up any point she has and I think she thinks is suspicious and day would address that live

and who are they who would she be debating in that oh we know who day is no it's gonna be a representative of turning point Erica Kirk okay you know a few people from that you know because I think if it was just Candace versus Erica Kirk Candace is a lot better on camera and she can riff and go off the dome and debate

even if she's saying total mental shit she can just keep going and go on her. Mentor is very good at that, yeah. Thank you. But, so Candace Owens was like, no, I can't do it. They're like, oh, why? We're having a dinner party.

Uh-huh. Okay. Well, is there any other time? No, I'm busy. All right. All right. And Candice Owens was like, how about you just do a press talk

and then I comment on it afterwards? Like, that's not really, we kind of want to have a dialogue here, conversation. But then they agreed to a sit down, Candace Owens agreed to a sit down meeting, no cameras. Huh. Okay. Interesting.

With lawyers. Right. So she had the meeting there recently, like two days ago. And it was a four and a half hour meeting. Okay. And the very next show Candace Owens was like, it was a very good meeting yet, very good. And I think it's all sorted now. Anyway, let's move on to

you know, let's get back to the Macron's. Yeah. so she's really just like yeah you know I never really cared with Charlie Kirk anyway he was kind of weird remember his teeth gummy fucking cut

yeah so what seems to happen is they had to sit down with lawyers and they threaten some kind of I'd say some libel thing yeah and now

like Candace Owen she's trying to like well I think there's still some interesting questions to be asked but what's the point to ask yeah you know who gives her shit

assassination, smashingation, who cares? Hacherey's fucking brown bread, who gives a toss? So that's basically what's happened, okay? But Nick Funtis has been going off about her, and my goodness now, the things he says, you know, he's using the word uppity, and

words, I want even to say on this, you know, talking about, you know, I'm from Chicago and I know how to deal with black bitches and all that, you know. Wow. So, it's funny because Nick Funtis, he does Like every day

It's like a three hour show Yeah It's basically an hour and a half Monologue at the start Yeah No pausing, no drinking, nothing And then the rest of it is him reading super chats Yeah and kind of respondent

We're just mocking them Oh really? Yeah, the super chats by the way It's always like You know, James Catton 69 says It's always James Catton No, it's James Catton 69 donated $150

what's your favorite type of candy bar my favorite type of candy bar my favorite type of what's your favorite type of candy bar fucking Jew thanks for bringing that off I forgot about that you're probably not American get the fuck out of my country

you're probably living figless you're one of them smelly monagin types yeah so he was one of those uppity monahen fuckers so he'll do that

okay but then they talk about like things like Rob Reiner okay and they're like this is disgusting all right the fact that people make fun of that have you no shame yeah it this is about civility

or even like you know like the way ice mishandling you know the deportation they're making fun of it basically making like videos yeah they'll deport some like you know poor old you know old lady Mexican all right

and be playing like Sabrina Carpenter over yeah expresso yeah so nick fountess like this is performative cruelty yeah but it's funny his take is you're wasting your time showing deportations you're not actually deporting that many people oh that's his problem yeah you should deport all of them

yes because i didn't notice now they actually uh they've stopped uh publishing the numbers deportations really because what nick fumes says is because they're too low oh so they want to keep their side of the their bait the maga people happy happy So what they're doing is they're basically doing a half-ass job where they deport a few people

But make a big song and dance out of it To keep the people happy, you know But they're actually not doing too much They're pretty incompetent They're just driving around neighbourhoods If you are Mexican, please fuck off Just through a bullhorn They're not even getting out of the car

The bullhorn's broken Just driving around Hey you! Get out of here! Well that's it, job done So I'm just going to see Oh, one last thing about fountas, okay? Well, actually two things. Well, more three things, actually.

So he had... A whole new episode. So, let's go along. Fuck it. We're going... So, he had this guy on. He's... Apparently, I don't know this now.

Every Christmas, he has Richard Spencer on. Oh, what? Do you know Richard Spencer? I know of him. Same here. Isn't he another closet homosexual racist? Man. Okay, so I knew Richard Spencer is a white supremist, okay?

Yeah. And he's a... very proud white supremacist. Like he's like literally like David Duke level. Yeah, okay. So I always heard about this guy. So you, let's be honest,

okay, when you hear like white supremacy, you kind of picture a kind of like, uh, I don't like these people kind of guy, all right? Like Larry the cable guy. Exactly.

You shouldn't. You shouldn't judge people like that, but that's what I assumed. Okay. Shut up, pussy. I'll do what I want. But the point is,

okay, he was on Nick Funtis's his show, all right? Yeah. And man, he literally is like, it's nice to be here. And I love, Christmas. I love Christmas

carols. I love children. Oh, especially only white children. Yeah, but he's so camp. It's crazy. Like, yeah. Oh, I just love the bloody Christmas lights. Oh, the little twinkles. Oh, I love the little twinkles.

Oh, matron. Oh, you cheeky booger. Somebody, stop me. Yeah, he basically like ripped Taylor. Like, oh my gosh. Oh, thank you. goodness oh the mexicans we're getting rid of the mexicans oh thank god oh get the he's just like throwing confetti everywhere as i used to take them away he's like yes get out of here

now if you don't know who rip taylor is and you're not getting the visual imagery you should be deported that's your fault all right that's not on me that's on you um and then one last thing all right and this is like this is pretty harsh okay but i was like oh god so you know the way Pierce Morgan at the debate with Nick Funtes. Not very good. Pierce Morgan is not he's not great at this and he's kind of making the side look pretty bad. So he's trying

to be serious and trying to be like, oh, you said this. And Nick Fulner's like, yeah, I did. And Pierce Morgan is no kind of like next step. He's like, yeah, you did say that. He was probably expecting him to deny it and then it's like, well, I have the tapes, like, yeah, I said it. I'll say it now if you want because there's one bit

okay oh your alarm's going off all right your fountis alarm so there's one bit with Pierce Morgan oh that's my rip tail or alarm

it's necessary yeah so there's one bit where Pierce Morgan is like and according to this okay in one clip

you say Hitler is cool do you think Hitler is cool yes oh oh yeah well so you're saying

Hitler's cool I am I think he's really cool he's super fucking cool really well you know what I think Hitler was a super fucking

a monster oh wow and then he was like super fucking a monster that's the clip that's gonna get clipped up don't make fun of you well

so you're saying Hitler's cool like he's just like he's not the guy yeah it's not Paxman all right yeah he's like oh god

you're really making you're making a side you're making the side side. Even some Jewish people are like, no, we don't know Pierce Morgan. Yeah. And they make it worse, all right, and not make it fun to guide, but like

Pierce Morgan is like, oh, my Trump card, all right? He has like an audio recording of like some Jewish guy who's like mother died in the Holocaust. And he's like, he's English, right? And he's like, yeah, you think Hitler's cool? Well, my mom

died in the Holocaust. Why think about that? Are you team Hitler? or team mum so they play that Nick Funtis if Nick Funtis is going to be like Oh no Like the Grinch What have I become?

His heart grew three times As if he's going to work at all So then Nick Fulner's like Oh me mum Oh my mum Tippers for breakfast In Auschwitz mum Oh apples and pears

Chim chim-chimmy Chimmy chim-chim-chim-chim-churroo go up the chimney with the burnt up Jew it was organic it was organic it was organic

why how long are you like that Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah Alright that was a bit too far then Are you going to cut that out Well I didn't say it so I don't approve it either

That's one thing we have to specify in this podcast Everything bad James either says it or he makes me say it. It's historically accurate, you know. It is. You know.

And by the way, I'm... He's talking about old cockneys and, you know... No, explain it. All right. Wow. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying... I think you are.

Well, I'm not. Okay. Okay. Well, let's... That's all my Nick Funtis and stuff, right? I'm going to keep listening over Christmas. I'm sorry that I, uh, I ruined it for you. there.

I was having fun talking about my favourite white supremacist and then you had to come in with that disgusting

speak. It's actually crazy. I was telling you off mic but I just say it again just to have a

fill up time all right. So I heard that a guy went over Nick Futes's house to shoot him.

Yeah. I thought as a case that he just had a gun and he got rested. He actually

knocked on the door and they called the police and the guy tried to get in the back door couldn't

then went to the neighbor's house hid in the basement shot two dogs then got shot in the face by the cops and this guy killed that evening three other people so he meant it you know yeah he's not like some pussy like me

he was like oh I'll kill you I've got like a fork I'll get you smell my cheese I'm not doing that right well that's Nick Funes anyway right yeah real quick two other things we want to talk about talk about Rob Reiner last

all right just real quick because I think it's kind of funny. Celtic Ligers, shout out to them, all right? Good podcast. They read an article from, I think like the Spectator, one of those more kind of like English papers

are more kind of Tory, okay? And it was kind of really sad, okay? It's like this guy who is a real fan of Graham Lennon. So he goes over to Arizona to have a sit-down interview with Graham Lennon. Right. And his whole thing is like, oh, everyone talks about the trans stuff

and all that. I want to have a sit-down and talk about what next, okay? Like, Graham Lennon, the man. Right. And, like, a fan talking to this great guy, all right? Talk about Black Books, you know, his new sitcom with Rob Schneider. Of course.

Yeah, so, you know, to have a nice interview that isn't like a got-you thing, all right? Yeah. Yeah. And it's basically about his failed attempts doing that where, like, he sits down, he goes to Arizona, I think he's Arizona, yeah. Right. It goes to Arizona where Graham Lennon lives now, okay? And Graham Lennon shows up and he's very, like, twitchy, all right?

He's a very twitchy fucker, even on camera. And he's very, like, paranoid, like, he's recording the whole interview. He's, just to try to fuck me over, right? Oh, right, okay. And he's, like, a lot of stuff where he mentions stuff, like, don't put that in. So he mentions that he's on a very high level of, like, antidepressants. I forget the name now. Right.

And he was like, but don't put that in. What's the problem with that? Here's the thing. The interviewer was like, well, you've tweeted about this before. You actually tweet the dosage is, but you mentioned other interviews. He's like, oh, did I? Oh, I suppose keep it in you. But don't, don't.

Quist my words. Oh. Okay. All right, yeah. And he was, like, very, like, literally, like, twitchy and trembling and scared. Talking about, like, how he's scared for his life and stuff. The antidepressants make him feel so numb. Okay.

He just says, like, everybody just feels numb now. It's almost like he's on suicide watching, way. Yeah. And the Rob Schneider thing, you think that would cheer you up. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. But he's saying that, like, he spends a lot of time writing with AI now.

That's, like, his writing partner. Oh, my God. Really? it's so fun and he also spends a lot of time gambling he's discovered the joy of gambling how does he have any money left

Rob Schneider he's always like give me 20 bucks please Rob Schneider's like I regret this so so are we going to see Graham Lennon and grownups three well maybe

because they're working on it's called tenure right now and it's a sitcom set in a university and I believe I can guess where Rob Schneider is like the cool

professor and all the other professor is like oh my pronouns oh we gotta give money to gender studies and grooming gangs you know all like

real topical stuff and he's like the cool like hey chill out dude let's smoke a bong instead and it's like some blue hair

non-binary and they smoke a bong that's so big they turn to a bodacious babe with big tits which is that can actually happen

yeah I've heard that that's a contact time tie because I want to make contact with your tiddies. And also just get ready for this, okay? Graham is working on a new game, okay? It's like a desktop kind of game. Not desktop sorry, what's the thing where it's like it's all

like Dungeon Dragons type game, okay? It's like a physical game. Tabletop. Table top, that's it. Yeah, yeah. And it's about kind of like trolls and stuff you know, like wizards and goblins. I'm sorry, I am bursting for a piss. I got to go. I apologize. Yeah, go. Just I'm literally about to piss myself.

No, just, yeah, piss yourself. Be actually careful listeners No, we can pause it, yeah All right, go, yeah Now they'll see the true James James should hope for you back soon He's coming towards me now Oh, he looks angry

My apologies, I apologise I just couldn't concentrate I was just literally so close to piss him myself You shouldn't piss yourself No, I shouldn't I keep telling you, you won't listen to me New Year, new me Yeah, so it's real quick

all right, Graeme Lennon. My point is, it's a tabletop game. Okay. But part of it is all about like, they're lesbian, like warrior women. Oh. But one, the warrior women is actually a man

pretending to be a woman to get into women's spaces. Literally. That's awesome. Holy shit. So it's like you have to find out who's the... And is there like a wizard Jordan Peters? Is I, oh, I would better shoot to the realm of, uh, bloody ideologues

and cultural Marxists that's where you belong What's up with him Is he like dead yet He's always dying Yeah he's always in a medically Induced coma You know

Yeah Fuck it out Oh fuck what we're at there Look we're almost at the hour there Yeah Real quick all right Just to cover it Because it's such a big story

Okay The Rob Reiner murders Fucking crazy Obviously like Completely crazy disturbing all that. I love Rob Reiner now. Man, he has some absolute

bangers like there's no denying. He's one of those guys that like you take away directing, still legend. You take away like all his acting roles from, you know, the A.E.'s onwards, still legend. If he was just Meath,

all right? Like maybe in Ireland we wouldn't know how big that is. Okay, but literally he's like, him as Mehead is like the same way that we all love Del Boy or something like that. Yeah. He was like just this cultural phenomenon. He was almost like a cartoon character in a way.

He's just always around and people love him. Well, like he was the voice of the sort of new emerging kind of hippie, liberal mindset going against the, you know, stuffed shirts of America. And he played that on the all in the family. He was always like, Archie, you can't join the KKK. Shut up, me head. Which is literally an episode. Oh, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. An episode where he joins like, hey, these guys, they're called the Knights of Carobrish or something, you know. The Columbus. the Knights of Columbus That's the KKK Shut up me head No they ain't

Yeah Are the Knights of Columbus The KKK I think they're like a branch I forget exactly now Okay Maybe you're right Actually

I don't know My KKK knowledge I need this more Nick Funtis That's your problem Archie you can't You can't become a goipur And subscribe to Cozy TV

Shut up me dead But so I didn't realize I was reading up more about this okay they got their neck he slit their throats yeah man

it's incredibly gruesome the papers aren't a real feel so because the whole thing is they brought their son Nick Reiner to Cone O'Brien's house party yes and Bill Hader was there apparently he like was being

weird of people going like who are you are you famous yeah and like interrupting private conversations and Bill Hader's like Can you leave me alone? Yeah. That's it. Apparently, I don't know

the full story, obviously, but the paper's like, we got pictures here of Bill Hader walking around suspiciously. What does he know? Did he do it? Did he do his Al-N-Alda impression?

Did Bill Hader do his Stefan characters? Like, oh, you're such a fed bitch, Nick Reiner. Ew. Just because of Barry season four. You know, it's like, and with Conan O'Brien,

he's like, Conan O'Brien's house party. What was Andy Richter doing at the time? Yeah. They're really like all the muckrake. Yes, yes. But the son, we actually both watched this, all right? Oh, yeah.

So, point is case. So Nick Reiner, he was apparently like a comedian. There was no footage of him. No, yeah. So I think he did some stand-up, like, when he was younger. But, like, he's just like, so, you know, rich kid who's been in and out of rehab since he was 15. Yeah. very bad substance abuse problems

and obviously some very severe mental illness I think people have mentioned possibly schizophrenic but by the way it's so fucking embarrassing that like your granddad is a proper like comedic icon Carl Reiner and then your dad is arguably even bigger than that right like internationally huge star in terms of like people talk about like nepo babies or whatever Rob Reiner completely transcends that

just with the quality of work he's put out now Nick Reiner even if he was a complete dummy even if he had like a head injury was younger

right and couldn't spell his own name yeah he could still probably become like a producer or something like network TV show 100%

like easy yeah just like all these guys okay it's always like unspoke like yeah I just

intern for a daily show for a year next thing you knew I was the head writer of scrubs yeah I was like that's just how it works

you know you put in the man out I was an intern for three and a half months. I made coffee for John Stewart once. I mean, I dropped it, but I dropped all over his face. I didn't apologize, and John Stewart was like, that's okay. Don't tell your dad. I made Stephen Colbert suck it up off the ground.

And he did it, hungry little pig. Yeah, but like, so Nick, all right, he literally, okay, he wrote a screenplay. His dad fucking basically made a movie for him. Yes. And just to be like, hey, son. If I do this, will you please not slit my throat? We'll see. Yeah.

So it's called. Give me points on the back end and we'll talk. He, he made this film, basically for his son, all right? Called Being Charlie. Now, the start had promised I taught. Yeah. The start is this like unlikable kid. Yes.

And he's, uh, literally, he does like. something really reprehensible. He like steals an old cancer woman's pain meds. Yeah, yeah. So at that stage you're like, oh, this is like a real kind of hard hit and look at addiction. Uh-huh. Not really, no. No. It's basically about how he's so freaking cool.

And the world just can't handle it. And his dad's a real dick. Yeah. Yeah. So he's, his dad's like, oh, stop doing heroin and living on the streets with the crack horse. Shut up. Oh, man. Shut up. Me. Yeah. The dad's

like look you have your own penthouse that's incredible yeah and you've all the money you want maybe be nice to me yeah that's what you want dad isn't it you know fucking nazi fascist scum you know i'm addicted to drugs you're addicted to society man whoa so the dad and this initially he's shown to be like he's running for a governor all right of like i know california so yeah yeah so you're like okay it's different than the dad in real life. Yeah. But they also mentioned

the dad's also very successful actor like pirate movies and stuff. There's obviously a nod to the Princess Bride. Oh, I didn't catch that but you're right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, okay. It's Carrie Ewells as well who was in the Princess Bride. Ah, yes, yes, yes. So the point is... See, it's too cerebral for you.

You don't understand Nick Ryder. I didn't pick up on the Sun drug thing. It's like, where do you get the inspiration for this? But, so like, it's like such a tinly

it's a very obvious, even more obvious he didn't realize how obvious it was Okay, he's like Yeah, in this film My dad's a dickhead And he cares more about the election And his own son Yeah

Yeah Pretty hard being me, you know And also I can rap Yeah Just throw it in as well He's like he can do His friend is like Dude you're so funny

You gotta do stand-up comedy But right now Let's kick some beats And he's like Yo, yo, my name's Nick Reiner, ain't nobody finer, I'm the best rhymer. Yeah, yeah, he's a fucking awesome, all right? He's so cool. But he goes home, all right, and the parents, because such dickheads are like,

how about we send you to a really expensive rehab clinic? Fuck you! Yeah. I do what you tell me! But then his cooler friends, like, hey, hey, dude, just wait it out. Okay, just do the month, and after the month's over, you're dare to be governor, and he won't have time to bust your balls, dude. We can have house parties every day and a week.

Woo! All right, I'll do it. Fine. Yeah, so he goes to rehab, and what's great is he goes to rehab, and he is so cool in rehab. So, like, they're all like... The counselors can't handle him, dude. Yeah, literally, they're like, yeah,

I'm addicted to drugs, okay? You're trying to help me. Well, guess what? You get paid. Uh-huh. It's nothing to do. And all the people in rehab are like, Yo, he's talking sense.

Say what? Yo, my man laying down science right now. And of course, this... You're going to be a repeat offender. Don't you mean repeat customer? Oh, mic drop. And not only everyone in rehab think it's cool, but the sexiest girl in rehab is like,

I just want to suck his cock right now because he speaks so much truth to power. He's so frigging cool. He talks about Lenny Bruce and George Carlin So they start banging Yeah He, we're going to skip ahead

Okay Basically he brings her back To his massive penthouse But she's doing loads of drugs He's like oh it's actually kind of Someone you love doing drugs It's actually kind of bad Is this how my parents felt

No They don't care about me Not at all Now give me more money you bitch His mother's just there Cleaning up all this shit Clean up all the shit on the floor yeah yeah um so what happens then oh yeah i didn't mention he does for rehab you have to show off your talent

yeah there's a talent show in rehab which if that's a real thing that's a very sick macab like take a bunch of junkies in withdrawal it's like hey do some juggling you freak but i don't have a talent that's why you're here i knew it you know it's funny all like they're talents but all their talents are just them sucking dick but Nick is different right Nick gets up as like starts doing like great comedy

oh of course too so good okay that a guy's walking past who works for lettermen he's like oh not exactly but like basically one of the guys there's like yeah my girlfriend is a college booker and she wants to get you

though the college gig because you're so freaking cool you could be next Chris Delia he's like yeah maybe I will I don't really do it for the commercial bullshit I'm all about the craft man

He's the most obnoxious Unlikable and the whole script He's just got real first time Like fresh out of film school vibes Like he's so cool and bad ass And nobody can handle him No one understands me It's juvenile dog shit

But here's thing You think it's all going to be fun in games But he hits you with your old sucker puncher right or his cool friend is doing loads of coke and I'm watching be like hey this seems pretty cool maybe I'll start doing drugs and maybe

he's right about society and all that but then his friend dies from too much coke and that I was like I was bawling my eyes out I changed everything and then okay that's when Nick turns his life around

and he reconnects with dad like hey you know what dad maybe we're not such a massive prick after all maybe I will let you pay for my college and my apartment in my car maybe we'll let you live yeah

and so he learns okay this is a tip for everyone out there okay the cure to heroin addiction is doing stand-up comedy correct so he goes to the comedy store because nothing can chase that high baby yeah the first time

is the that's the only you do stand up in the hey penny is like weh no need for needle tonight yeah So it ends, I could not, I was like, this is insane. It ends of him doing a set and the credits roll over his material. Yes.

And his material, oh my God, it's like, hey, I'm on the apps, you know. Hey, Tinder. Hey, this guy knows. So, you know what, Tinder's good? Because, you know, like all the apps, your Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Spotify. At least Tinder is the app that you wanted to fuck you. Uh-huh. Okay, guys, that's my time.

right everyone's like we're like no I love this in stand-up as well every show stand-up in shows and that

yeah the laugh is never appropriate to like the joke no not at all so it's like a real week

what other material do you have well there was one line that was pretty good I thought you would it's like

if a doctor tells you you only have a year to live just become sober it'll feel like an eternity that's not bad

more of a witticism than yeah well you know that's something you might get like a laugh or like ha ha

like it's live of the Apollo yeah oh one of them was good now this is actually really good now it's like

yeah so I'm trying to look for chicks but chicks don't like comedians you know if you want to get

some pussy just become a bass player oh yeah oh yeah and all like literally people

are rolling over some people women are like puking because they're so horny That's the thing that happens Oh, I've heard A woman on the bus puked is like

That's my fault Are you a stretch Just flashing the guns You know Forget him Carrying concealed weapons Yeah so like The actor, right

Nick Robinson Like he's kind of likable or whatever But the dialogue just makes him You know And the character makes him Incredibly unlikable So imagine all of that But instead of Nick Robinson

It's Nick Reiner That fucking wide-eyed fucking Charles Manson looking freak By the way, okay I know it's easy to look back And be like, you know Monday morning quarterback Yeah, yeah

You watch videos The video him with Rob Reiner When they're doing like the press tour He looks psychotic He really does Yeah anytime Rob Reiner Rob Reiner's being so nice He's made a movie for his son

Yeah He's been talking about like You know my son, we have our differences, but we love each other, don't we? I mean, he's basically, like, this literally Nick is like, where's the knife? Like, his dad is basically willing to tarnish his own reputation as a filmmaker and churn out this dog-shed film.

Just to, like, keep his son happy, you know? Yeah, I'm deep down, like, Rob Ryan's a smart guy. He probably read that script, like, this isn't very good. What was that, Dad? He's walking around with an axe. Sorry, Dad. What was that? No, it's great, son.

It's great. Nothing, Nicky. A wonderful film. You're like Pekowski only with a bigger dick. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, it's like, it's mental. Now, I, we'll talk about more next episode as more details emerge and all that.

But I really want to go on a bit of a Rob Reiner, kind of like, you know, you just want to watch all the classics, you know? You know, I've never seen the Princess Bride. I think it's one of those films that if you watch an adult, You have to kind of, like, think, like, it's like watching the show for CBB's,

and like, okay, what will kids get out with this? Okay. Because it is a very kind of, like, made-for-kids movie, and that's not even a negative, but it's very much a fairy tale story, all right? So you can be watching and be like, well, that actually doesn't make sense logically.

I think you find dragons didn't exist, Mr. Reiner. But it's very good, but it's not, I'm more of a stand-by-me, misery. Stand-by-me, misery. I even like a few good, man, you know. I'd like, you're not talking with a film, right?

Oh, you dirty booker! Yeah, yeah. That's on call for, I apologize. Yeah, you should. That's eight speech. I think Nick Futez would do that? No.

My God. No, sir. He just called me the N-word like a good Christian. But, like, I'm aware that we're kind of going over there and we have other people in the house as well.

Literally, other people in the house, they might be, that's a lot of times, okay, and you don't even notice because you live in your own, you're like, you think everyone else is an NPC. okay but they're like at the door be like

can we come in please we want to get food we're so hungry like nah I've eaten it all and it's sucked so you owe me money now idiots I'm basically the Nick Reiner of this what the fuck's going on here

hey what is it your PlayStation turned on turn it on for me so I can play it now not this game it sucks shut up Mom! Silence from you! Key and Peel, boy. Sorry.

Boy, well, okay, sorry. No, I know, I know, I know. You took it there, sir. Well, look, that's the end of the episode there. I actually, um, a little bit hungry. Yeah. A little bit tired as well. Okay.

Um, I suppose we exerted ourselves there, you know? Yes. I apologize again for having to urinate during that episode. Very, okay. apologize for all that stuff you said. Nah, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. I don't know.

Is it bad the old rhyme I did there? Definitely not. The little poem? I think everyone with rabbi shmooley and all. That's pretty funny. Hey, I want to sell

butt plugs with me and my daughter. Do I ever?