Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 281 : The TRUTH about Watergate

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

Clint Eastwood vs Bill Clinton

All right, we're going. Hey, hey. I'm having the best fucking time of my life. I'm definitely not hung over and miserable. Good. Don't believe me? Well. I don't know what to say to that, but good.

Happy to hear you're doing well. You're just cracked up in a can there. We're sponsored by Heineken. I don't think you're allowed to say that. Why not? What are they going to do? Sue us. Come after me.

I'll sue them. Will you? Yeah. For a while. It's like those pito hunters, okay? everyone's coming after me, all right? I'm sick of it. All right.

So, we're sponsored by Heineken, whether they like you or not. Okay. And we're sponsored by the Dundalk Museum. Really? Yeah, look at this. I bought the new issue to Phoenix, and on the back here,

the Dundalk County Museum. Did you ever go to the Dundau? Would you believe it? No, never. Me neither. The amount of times I was in Dundalk and I was like driving past, I need to go in there,

and I accidentally go to a prostitute instead. Who was very old, by the way. Yeah. I had to go to the bone exhibit. Huh? Yeah. Have a go on some old fossil. Very interesting, yeah, yeah.

But I tell you, so I bought the new issue to Phoenix. Right. There's some interesting stuff in this. Have you heard about the awfully offensive? No. Well, this is annoying to me, okay? Because this is a lad from awfully, all right? And he started a podcast, and now he's huge.

Okay. And he's making loads of money. Yes. And I think we need to link up with him. Okay. The only problem is he's in Australia. And he's a Nazi He's a Nazi

In Australia An Aussie Nazi Nazi Yeah Wow So he moved over Oh yeah Yeah Lonely the pure

The pure bloodied Shall be allowed To leave Crokey So he The third Croc The third Rocky Crokey

The Rocky To the Crocdell hunters It's you hunter So he moved over From It's a weird thing He moved from a foreskin.

This is a foreskin. He moved to Australia and he got involved in like the Australian Nationalist Socialist Party. Okay. Okay. Who were like the

Aussie Nazis, okay? Right. And then he, there's like some guy, I forget to name the guy now but he's like the head of them, okay? And now he is become like,

he was on the podcast there recently, the awfully offensive. Okay. And their podcast probably like five hours long. Whoa. They really commit to it.

What do they talk about? Uh, his big, saying okay is that you know the way Hitler, sorry, you know the way Jesus were killed by the Jews? Uh-huh. You know the way Hitler was killed by the Jews? Mm-hmm.

Exactly. Is he saying that Hitler was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ? Exactly. I'm glad you got that. Jesus H. Christ, the H stands for Hitler. That's what he's, that's what Laphneuxley is saying. Yeah, well. And would you believe it, the Australian government's cracking down now? Why?

This is a free speech issue. Yeah. So they're actually trying to ban the Aussie, Nazi party. Like, technically, isn't he an immigrant in their country? Well, who are you now? Who side are you on? I don't know.

I've never heard of any of these people. You can go hang out with Ari Sheffir, all right, yeah? Wouldn't you like, that would be kind of fun, I suppose, yeah? Pretty cool, I guess. Probably got good weed, I suppose, yeah? But, so, uh, they're cracking down now. And it turns out, I actually heard these guys before, because you know the clip going around a while ago of Nick Funtes going,

like, he got no motion? No. Oh, right. Sorry. I forget we're not in the same circles, all right? Well, Nick Funtis was. mean to the Australian Nazis. Okay.

Yeah, and now there's a war, there's a civil war going on between Nick Funtas and the Aussie Nazis. Why does he not like the Aussie Nazis? He just says they're losers. Ah. Yeah. He thinks everyone are losers.

I don't know what he's up to sometimes. Sometimes I think that boy is not right. Controlled opposition, dude. Like, do you hear what he's saying about Epstein? That he's, that it's no big deal. It's no big deal, yeah. Like, you know, he's going through the emails and that. He's like, yes, this one here, where's the,

torture video. People are saying that means the torture video? No, it doesn't, okay? You're jumping the conclusions. Yeah. Epstein worked for Massad. The moon's made of cheese. Come on, guys, okay? You're living your little fantasy world. I'm not really sure

how those two correlate, but... Here do I. I'm listening to this, and I'm like really losing the plot here. Why are you, you should stop listening to Nick Fuentes, I think. Don't think it's good for you. I think it's great for me, okay? I've stopped. I tell you, I've stopped, I've gone off women. I just watch Nick Futeus now.

That's good. They went off you a long time ago, so it works out. Because they all work for Mossad. The Pussad, dude. Well, actually, speaking of Epstein, Nalda, I want to go into Mandelson later on, Peter Mandelson controversy. But I want to get straight into it with a bit of fun. Like, Epstein's a bit too much at the start, I think. Sure.

So I want to talk about something a little bit more silly, a little bit more goofy. I want to talk about this. movie Absolute Power by Clint Eastwood starring and directed. Right. Oh, before that though, I want to say a little bool of bust for myself because I did my farming course

yesterday and I aced it. Did you? I aced it. How do you know? I just know. When you know, you know. It's like when you hit a home run, you don't have to see where the ball went. You're like, that I imagine. I wouldn't know. It's like, you know when you kick a ball in the net, I imagine, I wouldn't. When you make a woman, come... I imagine.

Kobe. All you do it the way Kobe does, huh? Oh, okay. Interesting. I'm in trouble. So yesterday had a farm exam, practical, and what's the other one? Theory. Oral.

Oh, theory, that's it. Yeah, yeah. A anal. Okay, yeah. Start at 9 o'clock, went in two-hour exam. I hate the way it's so spread out. Two-hour exam, then a break. Then the tractor exam.

the practical bit. Doing that again where you just drive forwards and backwards. This time it's more extreme. Okay. Yeah, this time it's just like fucking ramps and the hoot, like loops. It's a jump over gorge. It's like the X games. Yeah. So, the exam, first of all,

knocked out of park, all right? Really good. All the stuff I was worried about, it was a very technical exam, you know, it's all about like, for example, how many hens per square acre should you store? What's the answer? Forget now. Oh, okay. I think it's like 2000, all this stuff I learn for the exam and I'm like never need it again.

Yeah. Fuck it, all right. But then the tractor exam is this guy called Jim. He's in charge of that. And Jim, I haven't mentioned before, okay, but... Tractor Jim. Yeah, he's in charge of all the practical stuff. And Jim's this young fella and he's very soft-spoken.

He's like, I imagine he's probably like 30 maybe, okay? Right. He's real like, all right, lads, yeah? All right, so today we're going to do a... The old tractor exam there, so one by one. Don't all rush at once, all right, yeah. Like, see, you're all excited.

All right, who wants to go first? Right. And whenever you're doing any kind of thing with him, okay? Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. Okay. It's very like, yeah, so now, say, now if the tractor is broken,

what would you do there? And you're like, I suppose. Take it to the tractor hospital, Mr. Jim? Yeah, close to him. Clear. We lost them. I need 50 cc's vegine oil.

Where's Dr. House? We need him now. Look at this tractor. It's a big fat pig. Lose some weight. Your tractor's a homo. But, like, you could just say anything. So, um, let's say he asked you like,

um, how can you tell the wheels damage? And you're like, uh, I don't know. You sure know? It'd be, uh, maybe if there's something. Maybe the wheel was, maybe less air than, you know. Oh, deflated. Oh, there you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he'll just pass you ever, okay? It'll just spoon feed it here. Basically, yeah, yeah. And you feel proud of yourself having passed these things out? I'm like, I fucking aced it, yeah. Dude. Oh, I'm a genius.

But you know what's really, uh, I'm a bit like, not to be like that guy, okay, but like, so for me, he was like, you know how to drive a tractor? I was like, oh, yes, Jim, I do, yeah? He's like, all right, so get in, okay? I want you to back up that. way and kind of drive here you know see that thing there the shed drive around the shed come back and I did it

alright okay there's some women there I'm gonna say it alright I don't get a fuck right some women there okay they're like I don't want to drive a tractor so they'd be like ah Jim I don't want they're like alright okay well just get in and just start it up there that's grand really

yeah and they got out he doesn't give a fuck then but I'm there like excuse me Jim that's not fair that's reverse sexism Jim You assume because of their gender They can't drive a tractor And all the women are like Don't want to fucking drive a tractor

That's not you, shut up, woman This is about me and Jim Yeah And all the women love Jim by the way I actually get a bit jealous Really? Man, because Jim's just like a real kind of soft-spoken kind of like

You know, oh yeah I sure That's all I show you You know And they're just like Cool laid back Yeah Yeah they're all like

Jim's great isn't he Oh I love Jim I tell you now Oh he's so funny isn't he You watch great about Jim he doesn't even have to try to be funny he's just naturally funny everything he said he says something it's funny

but also makes you think yeah yeah it's great and you're over there with your rubber chicken on your unicycle there's a little spinning dicky you know oh me so sally me so sally dying up here

man literally one woman was like I love Jim so much I hope my my daughter marries lad like Jim. And Jim's just like, yeah, that everyone loves me, that's me. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, I heard it's a pedo. Yeah, you like him now, yeah? You want your daughter to marry a pedo, yeah?

Sick. Oh, fucking hell. So then we did the tractor exam. And it's just so long. Like, it's a full day, but like you do tractor exam one by one. Mm-hmm. So all just standing around the farm watching someone drive a car. a tractor. In the pissing rain. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not that fun really, all right.

So you say, all right. And you wait for your goal and you get in. It takes like seven minutes or so. And you're waiting again until the end. But then we did the last exam and then I drove home. But I tell you, during the break, actually, I was talking to the lads. And the lads are really into gambling. Okay. Yeah, they really love it. You know, it's like a real passion for them, you know? Yes, a passion. There would be another word for it, I think. Like, they're so passionate. They're up all night. Very, very committed to their gambling, yes. They don't let things get in the way like family.

And they're so cool. They actually bet on like virtual dogs. Wow. They're not even real dogs, you know? So who can kill the most virtual dogs? And like Saudi Arabian camel racing and all that, you know? Yeah, yeah. And Saudi Arabian beheadings.

They're betting all this stuff, okay? Jesus. How far will the head roll? But he was telling me he's got a system, though, for horses. And he was telling me it sounds pretty interesting. now I'm going to try it out, you know. Like small races, so you've got better odds, you know, and you don't bet too much, and you don't get greedy, okay?

And one lad, he told me a great story. I'm going to tell you this story, okay? And he was like, yeah, sure, I love gambling now. I tell you, one time we're over in Manchester there, right, with some friends, and we're like, what pub do we go to? I'll tell you, we'll go into the betting office there. They'd know a good pub now. So he went in there, right?

I were gambling there for a couple hours. and then my friend saw he doesn't gamble now but he saw in the yoke you know a horse name I write to name the horse now but he said I'll put some money on that and he put a tenor on it now and he didn't win or anything

but if he had one he would have won like 90 quid wow and he felt the need to tell you this story were you as annoyed hearing it as I am right now but I gotta tell you there's a real urge to kick this shit out of you That's all the time though

Yeah Yeah They're good people But they're not like exactly my type You know They're not into like carry on Or Doctor Who or anything No they're not real main

Exactly Yeah yeah Okay So yeah I did that Anyway back to I didn't ask it how your week's going by the way Don't Okay right

Well let's talk about What's it called Absolute power Okay Have you heard this film I got it confused with something else Yeah, you shouldn't What's the, what is the one?

You should fucking embarrassed you should be, yeah. I thought it was the one with Clint Eastwood and John Malkovich But it's not that one Looked it up real quick Yeah That's another film that came out And same period, I believe

And Clint Eastwood John Malkovich Yeah, looked it up there What's it called? In the line of fire That's the one where he could have saved Kennedy JFK

Yeah, yeah And he feels bad about it So this is late stage well it's not really old Clint Eastwood but he's like pushing it he's still trying to be the lead star here and he's still trying to be the sexy guy that all the girls want to bang

and the tough badass who kicks the shit out of people twice his side it's like massive big serving guys who are like hey we'll take it down old man he's like hey I know a thing or two he's hits him one time and the guy goes flying like he goes like multiple somersaults in there yeah

I still got it Like DJ Jazzy Jeff Been thrown out of the Bel Air Manchin So in this film Clint Eastwood plays a master teeth And a master of disguise Kind of like the film Master of Disguise Okay

So he loves robbing things And he's like the greatest criminal In American history Okay Okay so FBI always know about him But they can't get him Right He's so good

And he gets a tip about this rich guy who's got a much younger wife and he's got like a house full of really good swank okay really good stuff watches and diamonds and all that and Clint Eastwood's like

hey easy picking yeah so he sneaks in all right so he's a cat burglar exactly yeah he's got like you know the little

the hat and little suction cups and all that to go up the building all right he's like Spider Man all right yeah so he's in the house and he's looking around he's like yeah diamonds yeah nice the watch is the lovely, yeah, yeah.

But he's like, what is that? And he sees a mirror, okay, but it's like slightly ajar. He's like, what the hell? He opens up the mirror. Turns there's a two-way mirror, okay? And it's some kind of like, how do you describe it? Some kind of cuck.

Fock dungeon. Basically, yeah, yeah, just like straps and stuff, okay? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that it's like a... A kind of cuckold thing, you know? A sex room. A BDSM room. It's to look over the bed.

Okay. So it's a two-way mirror, and you're looking at a bed. He's like, what the hell's going on here? But then he hears the noise. He's like, oh, no. And this woman comes in, okay? And he's like, oh, for the pictures, that's the wife of the old man. Right.

Just to come back early. Damn it. But you know who comes in after that? The President of America. Wow. Yeah, Gene Hackman. Okay. So he's the President.

And Clint Eastwood's like, what the heck? But the President's married. Why would the President want to spend time with a much younger woman? This makes no sense. And guess what? The President does. gets her head, pushed it down.

He's like, oh, yeah. Nice. Suckie, sucky. God bless America. Yeah, fuck it out. Yeah, I got to support my voter base. But then,

yeah, she's taking the poll right now. I don't even think. That makes any sense. That makes sense. In the moment you said that, I was like, oh, good for you, Mr. President, you know?

Yeah. Well, he gets a bit too excited. He's like, oh, yeah, come on. Give it to me, baby. Yeah, slow down, Mr. President. Ah, come on now, you like it, rough. Come on now, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You fucking little, you're up, you up, yeah. He doesn't do that exactly, okay? Right. But she's like, stop! I can't, I can't breathe. And then she's, like, struggling.

And then she grabs, like, a little envelope opener, one of those things, okay? Yeah. As a weapon. And he's like, you dumb, dirty bitch. And the security burst in, because all the noise. Right.

Did you see her holding the little knife and the shooter? Oh, shit. Yeah. And the president, he's like, God damn it. I didn't even come yet. All right, fellas.

Hold her down. She's dead, sir. We don't need to hold her down. Ah, well then, take the rest of the night off. I'll take it from here. Oh, my calls. Yeah. So, and the security guards are like,

oh, no, Mr. President, not again. What are you doing, okay? Oh. And so he's like, Oh, Goddam it. And then this woman person is like his chief of staff, all right? I thought she meant to be a wife, but she's not the wife. But she's clearly model looked like Hillary.

Oh, so this is a real... This is a response to Clinton. Okay. This is Clint Eastwood is taking down the Clinton crime family. Wow. It's about time as well, yeah. That's cool. Yeah.

So, you know, set rich and all that, all right? Clint's on the case. So... Clint's and Q-in-on. Basically, yeah. Clinton on. So the woman... Or's a pizzeria

They're banging the little kid Eating them Maw Wow Wow The good The bad and the pito Why would you want burnt pizza

Oh All right Okay So Spaghetti Western Is that a pito code Yeah

So She comes in It's like Oh Mr. President Oh okay And one the fucking dumb security guards

Like We should call the police and tell them about this and then the press. It must be your first day asshole. Yeah, so he's like, yeah, yeah, good work okay. Is that really smartest thing you can do right now? Buddy, he's like,

oh, you're right, yes, I'll be quiet. And they're like, we'll cover us up, alright, no problem, but then they hear noise. It's Clint. He's knocks up and over. They're like, get him. He was jacking off the whole time. I'm going to give away my position, but God, this is hot. I tell you, Clint's face is so funny,

especially when the president's get... I've got a fistful of dollars. Took me far too long to get there, but anyway. When Gene Hackman's getting a blowjob, Clint is looking like, God damn, everything I knew about America. And his face is being like, you know, this whole system's corrupt and I'm disgusted by this.

But then Clint knocks up and over and the security guards like, get him. And Clint, he's really fast and dynamic again. Of course. He runs, okay, and he like jumps, he, like, jumps over a wall. Does a big backflip, you know. He scurries down a rope, all right?

Yeah, he's a 68-year-old contortionist. Oh, wonderful. But, like, he's running, all right, and he's fine. And security guards are like, get him. He's too fast. Yeah. Like I would have said, you know,

Secret Service are the best of the best, but then you look at that little dump truck that tried to get the way of Trump getting shot. Remember that little home? That little. No? I do, yeah. Okay.

Actually, the standards have gone so low now. I bet you I could get a job there. That's how bad it is, you know? Mine was a video going around. Mr. President, I can't come in today. I've got anxiety. Yes, anxious for my hangover, so you understand.

And I won't be in next week either. I drop Doritos on my penis. I can't come in. Flaming hot chitos down my pee hole, Mr. President. But anyway So Clint Hopps in the car and gets away Okay

All right And then the president All of them They stage it looks like That woman committed suicide Right Shot herself multiple times in the head You know

It happens Yeah It's a serious issue It's mental health All right And the old guy Well women are good at multitasking You know

That's why she can shoot herself Multiple times in the head So the old guy is devastated by this He's like Oh my wife Oh yeah The old cook Yeah

like, oh, my wife. And the old guy, by the way, he's like a rich guy who's best friends of the president. He's one of the president's biggest donors. Ah. And he's like, oh, it's so bad. She killed herself. And the president, you know, Gene Hackman's like, yeah, she killed herself. I don't worry. I hurt you give a shilly blowjob

anyway, dude. What? Yeah, don't worry about it. I read it in the press. So I taught, from that set up, I thought the rest of the film, like, just kind of cat and mouse game where like Gene Hackman's like, get, use everything we got. And like,

Secret Service guys after Clint Eastwood and like, you know, Navy Seals and it's like fucking Apache jets chasing Clint Eastwood around New York, okay? No, it's pretty dull, actually. I'm surprised by this. It kind of tries to be a bit like heat where it's Ed

Harris is in charge of the FBI investigation. Right. Is Ed Harris? Yeah, yeah. I didn't see it, so I don't know. Okay, sorry, yeah. I'm sorry. Is that or Gilbert Gottfriede, right? But it's like he's got a grudging You didn't she him get a hummer from the hoo-ah?

Yeah, great. That hurt my throat to do that. Wasn't even worth it. No, you put your life in a line here for this podcast. I know. Yes. But anyway. So it becomes kind of like, you know, Ed Harris is like,

so only the greatest criminal in the world could break into that building. Did he was like, well, it couldn't be me then. I'm only. second-based. Ah. And the security guard said that the guy was very handsome

and could run really fast. It does sound like me, but no, not me. You got any evidence there?

Pipsqueak? Nine-inch pecker, uncircumcised. That's why he could run so fast. Yeah. And it basically, long story short, right? Is Clint Eastwood,

instead of like going after the guy or anything, you know, I thought it be Clint Eastwood kills Bill Clinton all right? Yeah. No,

instead he just tells the old man. That his wife was murdered. Yeah, yeah. And the guy loved his wife so much. He doesn't care the fact that she was cheating on him. He's like, listen, I'm 87 years old. I kind of got, she was, you know.

Sleeping around. Yeah, he's getting some extra pipe. But who's the blame her, you know? And then he kills the president, the old fella. Wow. He kills the president, makes it look like suicide. It goes by so fast, by the way. So he kills the president, makes look at suicide.

And then Cleet to Eastwoods watching TV, being like, like, justice is served. Uh-huh. And then you just... That's kind of weird. Yeah, you're kind of expect the big action thing.

Yeah. Feels like it kind of shot its ward early, you know? Yeah, yeah. The premise is so good that I wanted an extreme silly thing. Yeah.

Where it's more kind of like a kind of... A lot of him being sad, Clint Eastwood, because he's estranged for his daughter and he doesn't know how the VCR works. Ah. So he can't tape his football games when he's out robbing houses.

So he has to get a guy He actually knows Remember the guy with the bell From Breaking Bad? Oh shit, yeah That guy's his friend And he knows how the VCR works So he tapes games for him

And at least he would sits on his own Watching football games Drinking Hynequin This one's like a pretty good life to me So yeah You're kind of like Dindicewood in the way Yeah Yeah exactly yeah

That's good Yeah The man with no name The man with no friends with no purpose no future no reason to get out of bed come on now

don't be like that great thanks for making me feel bad you're a gig and drinking last night out in the town yeah gig wasn't the best all right well but you can come home to me

no hung over feel like shit sad well you've been up to much have you been watching anything or I started watching Animal Kingdom

because it's all on Netflix and it took me far too long to realize how terrible it is. I never knew it was, like, I never thought it was great, but I was like, ah, it's, you know, it's dumb, but it goes, but it's entertaining enough. And after a while, it just gets really

tedious and cyclical. It's basically the same thing over and over and over. It's like a crime family drama. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. It's, like, based on the movie, which is actually really good, but it's Australian, but, uh... You need to watch some more good things. I feel like

everything he watches shit. Like what? Animal Kingdom, for example. That's one thing. That's one example that I mentioned. Give me the example. I'm down here. I'm working. I'm working and watching house. You're watching fucking fucking E.R. and fucking some British shit about

Mandelson or whatever the fuck. It's interesting and it's good for the podcast. Coalition. Yeah. Right, go on. Talk about coalition then. I'm not actually going to talk about house again. Make it funny. Make it hilarious. Don't put him the spot, all right? Yeah. Well, don't You put me on the spot, though, okay? This is why we need guests on the pocket.

No. Don't bring them into our sick and twisted dynamic. I will talk with Mandelson, actually, all right? So Mandelson's in big trouble at the moment. Actually, Chomsky's well. Yeah. Chomsky's the one I was a bit like, oh, come on. I was a little bit, like, I'm going to admit this is kind of loser or stuff,

but I was like, no, Chomsky wouldn't do that. I know, I know Mr. Nome. He was a good man. Yeah. You can read the emails. I sent you the thing, J-mail. Yeah, I was afraid to click on that. Always click on my links.

If I'm going down or bringing you down with me, all right? So J-mail is you can read all of Epstein's correspondence. Okay. You know who pops up into Epstein emails, actually? Lewis J. Gomez. What? Yeah, yeah. How?

It's crazy. Epstein is talking to Woody Allen, and they're talking about catching a comedy show, and Woody Allen's like, I don't know who's on tonight It's like, it's great There's a Big J. O'Cerson and Lewis J. Gomez. You're going to love him, Woody.

I think they're a little offensive. I don't know if that's really my fortee. I mean, you know, when he calls me a retarded Jew faggot, I personally, I find that very offensive, you know. And the chubby one just talks about how black guys have giant shlongs, you know, which I think is an inaccurate stereotype. And Sun Yi, I don't think, would have a good time. By the way, Soon Ye can give as good as she gets.

Let me tell you that now. The emails are constantly for her being like, yeah, that bitch is a lying little tattletail, you know? Yeah, she was dressing like that. She deserved it. You know, she's really like a fucking Andrew Tate fan, you know what. But yeah, so he was talking about, he also recommended Bill Burr.

as well actually. Jeffrey Epstein? Yeah, yeah. He was like, I'll tell you, Bill Burr on Netflix, his new special, awesome.

That's crazy. Yeah. I didn't know he was such a comedy fan. Yeah, you know, you assume a lot about Epstein now, but I'm going to change your tune. He probably would have been a fan of this podcast.

Oh, well. Well, another Pido will come along soon, don't worry. They're ten a penny, you know? But anyway, he was talking to Nome Chomsky,

and I was surprised Nome Chomsky's emails. He's like just a regular guy. I can't assume his emails be all eloquent and very like factual I don't know why but his emails are all like

you can't fucking say nothing these days can you? Ah yes You're trying to everyone believes a fucking woman when she's complaining

and if you say anything else it's fucking mansplaining Uh-huh Yeah it's just like Islam isn't it Yeah I think a lot of people were disappointed

by Chomsky but you know To tear down on my Chomsky posters. And my Epstein posters. It's been a hard day for me. Actually, speaking, I've listened to a podcast

called The Rest is History. It's a very popular podcast, actually. I've heard of it. Yeah, yeah. I like it. It's not great now. It's a bit too British from my liking. And the guys are very, you can tell they're kind of Tory, you know. Right. But

they're not too funny, which I like. It's kind of nice and dry in the talk about stuff. They're not trying to make silly little jokes about penises and no accents or voices all right but they can talk about a black man

all right and just move on yeah no like I wonder what the black man was sounding like well I pity them that's the world

they have to live in you live in a very sad colourless world why live in a very colourful world but they did an episode about Baghdad and they're talking about

different things that criminals used to do here's some advice if you're a criminal okay so one thing in Baghdad used to do, okay, is didn't we have lights, like flashlight back then, of course. When is this?

Oh, this is like back in the Persian Empire. Oh, okay. Like Assassin's Creed time. Maybe say that. No, you should know what I'm talking about. You just said Baghdad. It's like, and of course back then, in Baghdad times. The year is Baghdad AD.

So one thing you used to do, okay, instead you didn't have flashlights. What we do is you stick a candle on top of a tortoise. Okay. And you let the tortoise go into the house. Right. So then he's just wandering around the floor, all right? And then you can see where you're going. Huh.

Yeah, that's a little trick, isn't it? Why a tortoise? Because he's slow, you know. He's tied to a cat. It's got to go all over the place. I suppose. And the cat doesn't really like having hot wax dripping on it. And I guess, yeah, the tortoise shell probably protects it from the wax.

Exactly. It's smart, isn't it? Yeah. Another smart thing, okay, is let's say if you're a sharp thing, okay, is let's, let's say if you're strangler, all right, and you want to go out and strangle some women. What the stranglers would do is they bring a dog with them, all right, and then when they're strangling a woman,

you kick the dog to death, so the sound of the dog but he kicked to death would be louder and a woman screaming. Wouldn't you want to make less noise, not more noise? That's what they said, yeah. It sounds pretty hard. It's kind of like, you know,

you tapped your stomach, you rub your head at the same time. It's like strangled a woman to kick a dog to dead. a lot going on there. Yeah. You'd have to be ambidextrous, you know? Yeah. So, and then I also listened to a thing. This is what, by the way, the reason why I went down a bit of a Watergate hole.

Okay. Uh, recently. And the reason is I listened to the rest of history talk about Watergate. And Watergate's something I always kind of found hard to like get in my head. It's very kind of, it's kind of stupid really. And it's not really that. The stakes aren't that great. And it was a big.

scandal back then, but now, you know, we're living in a time where... We're living in a time where Trump's posting pictures of Obama as a monkey, you know? People are like, ah, no, he's got a point. I've already, everyone's already forgotten about it, like, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's no big deal, you know?

But this brought down a president. Yeah. Yeah. So, because of this podcast, I then watched the White House plumbers. Okay. Which was a HBO miniseries that came out a few years ago. And I kind of got, like, lost in the shuffle because it came out just around the time that they went from remember the whole thing

was like it's HBO max no it's max okay HBO match yeah yeah David Ellison took over Warner Brothers and he fired lots of people and he canceled back girl remember he canceled back girl remember how devastated I was I remember you telling me about it I remember I literally like I called you like I'm not I'm not good right now okay I was standing on top of a bridge you know I'm going to do it James unless you come and you hung up on me tough look of you. Yeah, exactly. And now, look, you're still here. The best therapist ever had.

Who's going to be bad girl? Was it Zendaya? No, and you know that, okay? I don't. That's a silly question. Who was it? Some black girl. Why wouldn't it? Why is Zandaya a bad guess? I don't know. Anyway, look, all right? You've embarrassed yourself there, right? Well, not for the first time.

So, White House Plumbers is the HBO miniseries about Watergate. it's actually really good Okay It's a little bit too silly A little bit too wacky But I liked at the end It's created by a guy Called Mandel

I think his name's like David Mandel For him No You know his work though He took over when Larry David left Seinfeld Oh Yeah so he's a big hand

In Seinfeld later seasons And he's a big part The shittier ones Well yeah When did Larry David leave Like season 8 was it? That was like six or seven. Maybe seven.

Okay, all right. Yeah. Well, the point is he took over for, like, he was fully in charge of the last season or two. Okay. And then he did a lot of work for curb enthusiasm and for Veep as well. So he's got a lot of comedic prestige. Good for him. And I think it might be better if they got someone a little bit more serious to do it,

to contrast the humorous parts. Okay. Because it is very, people are really dialing up to 11. Like Woody Haraldson's great in it But he's proper like You know When he's angry He's like

Oh Russaf, rust up You know He's like really kind of like Like a cartoon almost He's back in tears All right So Well I mean

Because it's the kind of thing That could also Easily be quite tedious If not You know what You're right I take it all back Sorry Woody

Good And Woody won't Accept my apologies He's like No You can't talk my weed anymore No you're dead to me man You're an asshole

That's you problem Got some idea about what way my wife's pussy's supposed to smell? What? Yeah. So, it follows Woody Harrelson. Stop saying weird shit. Okay, Woody. Well, the new Doctor Who is a...

Anyway, sorry, go on. Time is a Doctor Who flat circle. The TARDIS is a flat circle, Woody. So, White House plumbers. from the start, okay, and explain Watergate to you. Okay. Yeah, so buckle up, buckle. All right.

What time we are here? Oh, I tell you what, I'm going to restart the camera, and we're going to jump into Watergate. All right. So tell me what you know about Watergate first, and I'll correct you. Okay. I know. Get ready to be corrected.

All right, okay. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry, I'm getting too excited, yeah. Are you going to let me talk? Yes, I will, yeah. Because I know otherwise I'm going to get the old burn. Black eye treatment.

Yeah. So what I know about Watergate is anyone who spends their free time learning about it is a loser and a freak with a tiny penis and weird glasses and smells of cheese even though he's never seen eating cheese. I'm not a historian, so... That cheese issue is... That's private, okay? The medical condition. So, the White House plumbers follows Woody Harrelson as Howard Hunt. Yes. Now, Howard Hunt... Howard E. Hunt. You're right, yeah, yeah. He is...

is a writer and also an ex-CIA. And by the way, he's a writer. He wrote like 20 books. They're all like trillers about a cool former CIA agent. Showed you spy and he's so freaking cool. With a big pecker, all right? And he can play jazz better than all the show brothers. And they're all like,

Yo, what it is, brother, mate? You're a coolest cat and pal, baby. Yeah, that's right. And all the sisters want to hang out with him. Uh-huh. Yeah, girl. Hello, jungle pussy. I'm Howard E. Hunt. You better show me that Woody right now, motherfucker. Don't be no lip-dick fagget.

But you know it's funny, okay? Just Pedro on, right? Yeah, it is, yeah. So Howard E. Hunt, he's a pretty important historical figure, all right? None of his books are Wikipedia pages. These books, they're not popular at all. They're not, like, they're not best-seller. It's not even for, like, historical kind of curiosity, all right?

Yeah. So there must be dog shit then, okay? But anyway, he's X-CIA and he is an outsider A bit like Nixon a way Because Nixon was like a dirt farmer You had to work his way up He wasn't like the kind of Harvard guys

The skull and bone The bushes and all that So he felt like an outsider Same with Howard Hunt And Howard Hunt He wanted to jack off in a coffin Surrounded by people He had to do it on his own dime

Exactly No silver spoon in his cock Mommy and Daddy aren't paying For his jack-off booth coffin You have to jerk off like a hobo skull, you know It's just the indignity I am not a cock

So Howard Hunt He's kind of involved in a lot of stuff That is not great in your resume Like the old bay of pigs and all that And like trying to assassinate Castro You know how that went You know, not great, okay All like that

A bit of a fucking roadrunner vibe Yeah, exactly Wiley Coyote Yeah, all this stuff like How about an exploding cigar Or what about like a whoopi cushion That gives you diarrhoea What about that, you know?

Any cushions a whoopee cushion if you fuck it. Right? What about whoopee cushion full of jays? How will that stop communism? What? Communism? What? Please stop using sex puns.

This is a very serious meeting for the CIA. CIG! All right, get off. CIA, female body inspector. Oh shit. Fuck. I'll let myself out. So he is.

kind of out in the cold. He's fucked up to CIA too much. He's now writing his little novels, okay? And he's married to a woman who's also ex-CIA. Right. Played in the show by the girl who's banging her brother

in Game of Thrones. Cast on a wide net there, brother. Lina Headigley? Is it Headley or Head-in? I think it's Headley. She's very sexy. She is, yeah. She's good as the wife.

Do you see the parole officer? Well, Coogan? Yeah. Would you believe it haven't? Are you serious, bro? I'm sorry, yeah. Oh my God. I'm saving.

that for the hospice. Yeah. Well, it might just cure you. Well, I'm in the hospice, okay. My family want to see me. Like, shut, get away. Yeah. I'm watching the coogs.

Well, she gets, she gets her tits on. Pretty sweet, dude. Holy fuck. Yeah. Stop the show right now. Get it up, Jamie. Jamie, pull that up and then pull me off. Rogan is compromised, bro.

Yeah, Rogan is CIA, you know. But, like, the point is, he gets. call from the White House and they want him. And what Nixon wants, Nixon doesn't trust the CIA. Okay. Or the FBI. Nixon's very paranoid man.

That's the main thing about him. I mean, Kennedy didn't trust the CIA. Look what happened to him. Well, yeah. And Nixon is very conscious the fact that Kennedy got popped. And he's like, huh. I mean, the Dulles brothers

were like, basically, they were their own little fucking enterprise. It's like, we run the show and anyone that crosses us gets fucking mucked, fam. You get me. Dulles hated Nixon. Nixon hated Dulles.

Yeah. Yeah, they were not good friends, all right? So what Nixon wants is his own Nixon squad. Okay. That are separate from the CIA. Right. Okay. So he gets Howard E. Hunt and G. Gordon Liddy.

Yes. Now, I didn't realize this until literally a few days ago. G. Gordon Liddy is the inspiration for the comedian in Watchman. Really? You're the mustache. Yeah. That is the mustache. That's his mustache.

That's cool. Yeah, yeah. I watched the first episode, even though I didn't finish it, you came home and like, James, why are you watching HBO while naked again? And if you're going to sit on your couch, bare ass, make sure you wipe beforehand.

Shut up, old man. But I started to finish it, but I did, I liked the mustache. Was that Justin Theroux? Justin Theroux, yeah, yeah. Cousin of Louis, I believe. Maybe dissed the second cousin or something, okay? Yep.

But was banging Jennifer Aniston for him. a while? Yeah, big cock as well, that's where everyone says I don't like him anymore on the Bally Monroe. No, not a fan. Now, turn it off now. But Gigour Liddy, he was also ex-CIA, also a fuck-up alright? Okay. Big Nazi fan. Really? Huge fan

of Nazis. He's one of those guys that he collected World War II memorabilia, but only from one side. Yeah. And he literally would listen to Hitler's speeches during dinner. Jesus. The calm down. You know yourself, you know, you come home from work, you crack open a cold one, stick on the

furor, like, ah. It's all worthwhile. I mean, I was going to say that's kind of weird, but the fairness, I'd listen to Cobb and Town while eating my dinner, so is that any better, really? More is concerning, actually, yeah. Yeah, dude, we're here with the fucking furor, bro, it's fucking gay, hell.

Yes, hello, Stavros, yes, big fat Greek man, very funny. Adam is bug, little Jew bug. not like. He would actually agree. Yeah, yeah. Yes, Commissioner Gordon.

Oh, hi, you guys. It's me cool Adam, yeah. Oh, I'm so cool, guys. Hitler's like, I think Nick Mullen is a little too problematic for my brand. I don't think this is good for me. I need to go solo. Get away from this. Hitler's doing crowd war clips.

So why did you tell me, Martha's Vineyard? Get out. Get out now! Nah! And you, his bit, where are you from, Israel?

Oh, I don't like you. So he loves, he actually, Gigor Liddy, he has like, I think he's a little bit like, I don't know what you call,

those guys, maybe, like he has loads of kids as well. So kind of like, kind of like, I got to keep breeding here, you know, kind of you JX kind of thing,

right, right. So he's got loads of kids, lovely wife, and he just plays, they're all having dinner silently with this is Hitler. Wow.

Yeah, it's, you know, good vibe. Good vibe there. And they're brought in, so Gigorn Liddy and Howard E. Hunt, they're brought in because Nixon's got a problem. And that problem is the Pentagon Papers. Okay. And if you know that, that was this journalist called Daniel Ellsberg, I believe. Okay.

Something like that, yeah. He wouldn't like Hitler speeches. Yeah. But he... More Berg than the Titanic and the Pentagon. Am I right, brother? We're all thinking it. I'm glad you...

Yeah, we all fought it. So there we go. Oh, no. Yep, yep. So he has leaked information to the Washington Post about Vietnam. It's basically, Vietnam's bad. Mm-hmm. All right?

So what Nixon wants to do is break into Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist's office. To prove he's a mentalist. Basically, yeah, to steal his papers to prove that he's like a communist and hates America. Uh-huh. Now, do psychiatrists write down, like, James Cadd, equals menteler question mark mentaler

sexually confused micro penis can't wipe his ass yeah no those were actually notes from my teacher when I was homeschooled hey oh

I think therapists do keep notes yeah I don't like that well because you'd lose track of all the spastics you know that's part of that's your job though

not really if you can take notes anyone can do it you know no because you take notes and then you use that to diagnose what's wrong with them I can do that easy okay yeah you spastic fat ugly pig next I think you got postpartum depression with some old lad he's like I don't think is yeah you do yeah

you've got menopause pal I'm 19 and a man yeah just don't age you so their goal now is to break into an old psychiatrist's office. They're like, we can do it. So what they do is they dress up in disguises. In disguises, yeah?

And Dave, first of all, there's a maid cleaning the office, all right? So they sneak in and take pictures, and then they leave. And then they hire a bunch of Cubans who were involved in the Bay of Pigs. Wow. To help them to... What they want to do is, they're meant to be

guys who can break into the office with finesse. but instead the guy's like It's locked What do we do I use brick to smash window Yeah what they do is they smash up the place Alright to make it look like a burgerly Right

A burglary okay And they spill a lot of pills around So he looks like junkies did it all right Ah okay And then they take the documents And um If you honestly yeah It's the people in the White House

Kind of like this is kind of a shoddy job Yeah Not just have you know Um gone in like you just picked the lock oh shit I didn't think of that you can do that

I thought it was just a mate I mean I'll be honest though like they're kind of smash and grab making it look like it's junkies looking for pills yeah that's not a bad idea the first plan was Gior and Liddy's first plan

was to burn the place down and arrive as firemen what happens if you burn all the notes though oh fuck well I tell you keep an eye remember that fact because they'll come up later on. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. So the next thing, their next mission, all right, is I forget exactly what happened. But basically there was some, it's a very minor story. Some Republican took money, like a brown envelope situation to, I think, hold the R&C in, like, some hotel. Okay. So kind of like, he's getting money to hold it here, okay? Okay.

Probably for promotion stuff, okay? Right. And some woman leaked a story called, I forget her name. like Dita Beard, I think your name was, okay? Okay. And basically, real simple job, they went to her, like, hey, if you give you money, can you not tell people? Okay. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Another successful. I'm like James Bond, I am, yeah. And then that's two for two now, okay, that they're done. So the next one, this is the big one, okay? They are told, I didn't mention, they're basically a guy in charge, a guy called John Dean, who's Donald Gleason. Okay. Yeah, and he's like a young buck, all right?

He's the buffer zone between Nixon. That's not, uh, no, probably wouldn't be, actually. I was thinking of the Dean scream. It's the same guy. No, it's Howard Dean. Howard Dean. But you're forgiven for, yeah. No one would make funnier for that, yeah?

You're out in the streets and like all the kids are like, oh, you, yeah. You mixed up Howard Dean and John Dean, you big Pee-o. You're fucking stupid, I thought. You're a daft, cunt. You need to go to the psychiatrist. The fucking nut house. The funny farm with you, Paul,

the Mongo Factory. That's where you belong. You're right. So they're given the mission to discredit Democrats no matter what. And they're like, oh, this is... And they get like a million dollars to do this. Okay, they get a budget here.

They're like, oh, fuck, we're in the money. What are we going to do? And they've got some great ideas. So one idea is they're going to break into the RNC and piss on the carpets and make it look like the Democrats did it.

So it's a false flag piss operation. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That is so stupid. Wet works. Yeah. Oh my God. That's their first thing, okay? We have a million dollars. We can do this. We can buy

quality piss. Why is that even a... Like, who would give a shit? If somebody came in and pissed on your carpet. And it's their own carpet, you know? It'd be like if I was like, I got a great insured scam, James. gonna get on the couch and shit all over it, all right?

And then put the Romanian flag down. And then call up the couch insurance people. Hello? Yes, I've got Romanian shit everywhere. What is the meaning of this? They're like, that's a Swedish flag, Brian. I'm like, what? This goes to the very top, doesn't it?

So they don't like that. John Dean doesn't like that. The next one is a bit more ambitious. They're going to... They don't actually do that, though? No, no. Yeah, because they're like, it'd be smelly. Uh-huh.

The next one, okay, is they're going to hire a yacht and get multiple prostitutes, all right? And have them dressed up and posing as Democrats. Okay. Young Democrats who are fans. And then they're going to lure real Democrats onto the boat for sex. And then Howard E. Hunt's going to be filming it. Okay. Kind of like an Epstein blackmail.

Exactly, yeah. But way stupider. Yeah. Don't worry, they'll all be of legal age. Yeah. Yeah. Now, of course, we're not going to do this to any of the married men, because, I mean, we respect the sanctity of marriage.

But yeah, we're going to expose the Democrat men in their 20s enjoy consensual sex with beautiful women. They'll only be making out. No kissing, no funny business. No hand stuff. First base only. And the Democrats were crumbled. And then we piss all over the horse.

And make it look like the Democrats. We pissed on Republican whores. So they don't like that one either, okay? So the next one is... Pretty stupid, these guys, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, I suppose, yeah. So the next one is, how about simple? We're going to bug the DNC.

Okay. All right. Nice and simple. We'll bug it. We'll know what they're doing. And we'll be one step ahead of them. And John Dean is like, yeah, I like that, yeah. Barely, yeah.

Not too bad guys, do it? So they, but again, it's highly illegal, though. Of course, yeah, that's why they have that deniability. Nixon does know about this legend, okay? So, again, this is so stupid, though. Instead of just, you think, like, to bug a place to send him one guy? Yeah.

Okay, no, they have, it's Howardy Hunt, G. Gore and Liddy and, like, five Cubans, all go up to the Watergate to break in, and it takes them three attempts. Right. Yeah, so they go up and it's locked, they're like, oh. What the fuck? Didn't think of this. They're always one step ahead, those crafty bastards. And then they bring some tools, but they're like the wrong tools, all right?

And they basically, they get in, all right? And they bug the place, and they get out. And it all works. Okay. And I was watching, be like, oh, I thought they got caught. No, it turns out the bugs were faulty. Ah. Only one bug worked, and it was the bug for the secretary, all right?

but it was mostly just her talking her friend about like I like Brad but I also like Chad and Jean Gordon Liddies say her like No not Chad Samantha Come on go with Bradley He's the one Oh Don't Chad's the bad boy

He doesn't respect you Sure he's It'll be a fun time But where's the future in it Where's the white picket fence And the two kids and the Golden Retriever running around And the Hitler speeches

What about the Hitler speech is What about the Hitler speeches? So now they got to do it again. And this time they get lazy, okay? Gagor and Liddy and Howard Hunt, like, oh, fuck, just send the Cubans. Ah. So the Cubans... Why do they always...

Do they just have a shed full of Cubans that they take out, like, you know? I don't know at all, okay? I think it's just like good to have a round, okay? But they're like... Gremlin's, you know, you get them wet and they multiply. Feed them chinchillas after midnight and they mutate. You know? But also, I think if in the show,

they kind of portray them a bit like more competent when something funny happens, but in the show they're proper like, Deus meo, my burrito. Like they're not, like they're Mexican. I was having a siesta, seor. I was so tired, oh my God. I am Cuban, yes.

And went away to get the tacos because I'm so hungry. So they send up the Cubans on their own. Hey, where's Dave? Uh, Dave's the, here, man. I don't know what I'm talking about. They send in the Cubans, okay,

and this time they get caught. Okay. Remember Forrest Gump saw him? Remember that? Yeah. There's a raccoons in the building or whatever he says, okay? I don't think he said that actually, yeah.

Oh. And then they get caught, all right? And the guys basically crumble straight away, you know? Who, the Cubans? The Cubans, basically, yeah, yeah. Howard Hont and Liddy, they weren't there. They weren't there. Right, right.

They got lazy. just like in a bar, okay? So they're like, oh fuck, this is going to blow back on us, all right? And the whole, so basically it's like money that has to be given to the Cubans to keep them quiet and to say that they acted on their own essentially and Nixon or CIA weren't involved. Right.

Okay, that's like what they're paid. And this is what fucks up Nixon, because Nixon is, he's taping himself, Generalis. Yeah. So it's literally, it's like John Dean be like, Hey, we need a million dollars to bribe these guys. Yeah, good. Bribery's good.

I like bribery. Yeah. I know we can get million dollars. You know, the church fund for those disabled crippled children? Yeah, fuck them. I'll tell you, I want to that, you know, that Bohemian Grove Special Needs Academy. There's the faggiest shit I ever seen in my fucking life. I'll tell you.

Those disabled kids are fags. Those retards are drooling all each other's peckers. Let me tell you that. But the thing I didn't realize is there's a huge space time between those guys getting caught and anything actually happening. Okay. So it's just like these Cubans get caught.

They're just probably stealing TVs or something like that. Yes. They initially said something about the CIA, but then they didn't, okay. One of them had like a letter from Howard Hunt in his pocket. I'm sure we all do, you know. Whatever, okay. He's a fan of his writing.

Exactly, yeah, his trailers, the Howard E. Hunt adventures. Young Hunt. Yeah. The adventures of the stupid, smelly Cuban bomb who ruined my fucking life by Howard E. Hunt.

Heart imitates life. Chapter 1. This guy was the most retarded meaner I've ever met in my life. What? He would be racist, wouldn't he? Betraying the character. Yeah, yeah.

So, by the way, this is for the election. Nixon wins by a election. landslide here. Who did he beat? McGovern. You know, McGovern? Exactly, exactly, yeah.

No one does, okay? He's a weak candidate, no one liked him. Nixon wins. And by way, Nixon, right? You think when he wins, be like, hey, celebrate good times tonight. He wins. And he just sits in a dark room on his own.

He's like, yeah. But no one actually likes me, though. Yeah. That's how I feel when I, when I, after one of my many victory Greece. So many right now. I can't even list them off.

But you're like, yeah, I won this time and my life's great, but will it last forever? Yeah. Sure, this girl's telling me she loves me and wants to eat my butt. But will it last? Probably.

But what if my butt gets smelly? Will she betray me then? So this carries on for ages and everyone's getting paid money and all that. But eventually people are like, they're closing in, I should tell. And it's always like, who's going to tell first? Who's going to rat out you their person, all right?

Yeah. And Howard E. Hunt's wife is like, we should tell. Okay? We need to tell. Right. And Howard E. Hunt, he's like, oh, maybe you're right, honey. She's X-CIA as well. X-CIA.

She gets in a plane, plane crashes. Whoa. Yeah. Plain crashes, and they find cyanide inside the pilot. Now, I did hear about this. You told me about this. And you know what? the FBI got there before the fireman.

Yeah, that's fucking dodgy, man. Yeah. And also, on the plane as well as the CBS news reporter that was going to do a story. Wow. She was, like, sitting beside, going to do a story about Watergate. Yeah, I mean, like, when you... And a paranoid freak, like you,

will probably take it to some connection there. Well, see, when you take it into a... Like, that is a pretty regular or recurring story that's some kind of whistleblower or someone who's a threat to possibly, dies in a plane crash that maybe the details

are sketchy but then when you take into account how rare plane crashes are the number of you know people who were a threat to power that died in plane crashes there's got to be a good percentage of them that were you know intentional well you know who would agree with you

murder howardy hunt he gets real power in like now he's like they're gonna get me you know so he how do I play that off in the show not what I'd like the plane off in the show where it's a little bit like... The planes go on down.

Watt, what, wow, wow. No, no, they play that seriously, okay, which I like. And the kind of comedy of the show is at the funeral, G. Gordon, and he's like, it's very sad. You're not going to wrap me out, are you know? Oh, okay. He's like, it's my, my funeral.

Like, I get to, I get to completely, but don't wrap me out here, you know? So, there's something funny to that, right? And by the way, in the show, they go into, like, Howard E Hunt's family. He's got, like, a layabout, long hair son. Oh, hippie dope smoker. Another son,

a daughter in a loony bin because she's like, you know, having periods or whatever, you know. Okay. Well, then I think that's the right place for if we can all be. It's the only place she'll learn, all right? And son's probably having periods as well, you know. So they put her in a

straitjacket and make her look like one giant tampon. That's the irony, yeah, like the twilight zone, yeah. So basically, it all comes out in a wash. Everyone betrays everyone, right? And of course,

the tapes as well. Now, Howard, Bob Woodward and, whatever's name is is okay, Woodward and

Bernstein. Yeah. So if you watch the film, it's like, they cracked the case and it's all because of them.

That's a big exaggeration. The tapes, more than 19 else. Yeah. The tapes and also Howard E. Hunt ratted.

John Dean ratted as well. Because in the tapes, actually, Nixon is kind of like, and John, you,

you did all this, didn't you? Well, I don't know about that. He was all your idea, wasn't it? I'm a completely innocent. I don't know about that, Mr. So he's like, okay, Nixon's trying to betray me here, okay? No, Nixon recorded himself.

Yeah. I always thought he was, like, being recorded. No, he was recording himself. Why? Because he didn't want anyone to fuck him over, so he wanted to have, he was trying to get dirt and other people. Oh, okay. And even that case there, that was the whole thing. Nixon was trying to get Howard Dean to say that, not Howard Dean, John Dean.

I did it as well now. Now, I'm the, yeah. So he got John Dean, he's trying to get John Dean to be like, it was all you, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah. So everyone's trying to fuck it, you're over. And basically Howard Hunt goes, Howard E. Hunt goes down for two and a half years,

whereas Gordon G. Liddy, G. Gordon Liddy goes down for four and a half years. Okay. Because he didn't cooperate. Right, I see. Yeah. And the thing is, okay. During the interrogation, he wouldn't stop playing Nazi Hitler speeches.

If you turn that down, please. It's like his ASMR, you know. But the thing is, everyone involved in this had a media career afterwards. Everyone did great after it, okay? Like, John Dean got to write books about it, and he produced a series of TV movie with Martin Sheen, okay? That came out relatively early. I think G. Gordon Liddy did a tour of colleges with,

I wasn't even that hippie beatneck that Sasha Barre Cohen played. Oh, fucking, yeah. What was his name? Like Jeffrey Epstein. That's it. That hippie beatnik, Jeffrey Epstein. Jerry Garcia. Like Jerry Golden Jew or something.

Cherry Goldfinger, right? The point is he do tours, okay? It'll be like, I'm the conservative guy. He's the hippie. Wow, we like. Yeah. And they have like the original odd couple. Yeah, they have fun debates, all right, you know.

Well, there's only one way to solve this. Food fight. Tuga. Tuga. It's all Animal House references. I know at the end, they're like, instead of like the Annal House songs

has hit their speeches. So they all basically do well out of it, apart from Nixon. Yeah, Nixon takes the fall, essentially. And what conspiracies people like Nick Bryant say, and something is he's in a conspiracy really, is that everyone hated Nixon and CIA and all that. Yeah.

Everyone was like fucking like, yeah, leak the calls, leaked this, okay? Basically that it was just like a coup against Nixon to get him out. The point is, is it, coup if you're so incompetent you basically hand it to them on a plate yeah it's like blaming the pido hunter

essentially you know the Nixon hunter in a way it's like he you made it so easy for them yeah and Nixon didn't take it well okay apparently he was like drinking a lot at this stage right right and he had like health issues that he wasn't taking his fucking pills and all that all that all right right so he's just

like basically wants to die and he's talking to who's it now not Ginsberg I forget who he's talking to someone, okay, higher up, all right? Okay. And he's like, I'm going to have to, for the sake of the part, you're going to have to step down, right? Yes, Mr. President.

And he's like, hold me, please. And he breaks down crying, okay? And he basically, he's like, goes down the field position on the floor, crying, okay? Like, he's not doing well. And the other reason why Ford pardoned him, all right, is because everyone assumed and might be right that Nixon was going to commit suicide.

Oh, wow. Yeah. And they're like, that looks too bad for the country. If you drive president to kill himself. Look, it's one thing that the president steps down like a noble way. Yeah, yeah. But if you're like, oh, fuck it hell. Oh, ho.

He's just playing dydo on it. I will go down with this ship. It's all your fault. Yeah, so. Oh, God. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting.

we'll say. Well, I think the main contention that Nick Bryant has with Watergate story is he finds Woodward and Bernstein and Bob Woodward

in particular to be completely like on just not credible. Actually, you're right because you know, you haven't seen the film, have you? All the President's made.

But you know the whole thing like they meet in the car park is deep trove. Yeah, yeah. A load of money. That's not true at all. And like, didn't they say,

is like they would Deep Throat would circle different letters on their on a newspaper that got delivered It was sillier that it was that okay It was also like they'd leave out a blue flower pot Yeah Yeah and then a red flower paw

All this stuff you know And then the obituaries If you're Latin it means like It's all this like silly Just to hype up the book really Yes exactly Make it more exciting So that's kind of mainly what

Also Bob Woodward was ex-CIA Oh they all they all But his first story when he became a reporter or his first big story that broke was the Watergate thing So he leaves CIA And right off the bat

He's the big story That you know Really does look like it was a coup To get Nixon out I keep saying the thing is I need to stop doing that It's a little tick That I should be a

Okay Sorry I got distracted there About self-hatred So the thing is okay Nick I've done it again I thought you were being ironic No I'm not

Yeah, it's, oh. Fuck. What else could say? Well, another thing is, I say the word basically too much. I was like, so basically... I'm going to start saying basically now. We'll swap, okay?

All right. The thing is, Brian's a retard, basically. That sounds better, I suppose. But basically, all right? This isn't like conspiracy. This is just genuine, like... Yeah, probably is, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's just, like, because people think, like, oh, he worked for the CIA. Like, even if it wasn't directly from Mr. Dulles, is like, do this. Would he feel like he's got a lot of friends there? All right, he's like, hey, any tips for me? Yeah, I got this thing here. Yeah.

Sweet as, buddy. Nice one. Yeah. Fucking no. We'll catch the West Ham game to know. Blowing bubbles. Like all that. That's a perfect impression of him.

Yeah, you did it. You nailed it, yeah. Oh, Bobby Woody. Bobby Woodward. Woody. Everybody. Big man for the Coke of the horrors, apparently. Who?

Bob Woodward. Like, just like my... Hold the Coke, please. But I tell you, one thing you really threw me off in the show is Peter Sir Finnawit shows up in a playing William F. Buckley. Oh. He's not good.

I was like, is he doing English accent or America? I couldn't even tell. Really distracting. I'd take him over. But didn't William F. Buckley kind of, he was American, but kind of had a bit of a British vibe about him. I actually... What do they call that?

There's like a term. Anglophiles, yeah. I'm a big anglofifles. as the police say. But... We've got the chat logs here. You're about an anglophile? You said you wanted to meet a British man.

Dress him up with a Union Jack and have him munch a big sausage. While watching Cornation Street, is that true? Yeah, dirty, bastard. It was EastEnders. Fucking East Benders, lad. That's you, that is. What was I going to make one final point

before we end this, and I've forgotten. Sera Fenewitch is Buckley? Yeah, is this not going to. But my point is, okay, so apparently when the CIA first started, they really mulled themselves after MI5. And they actually would all smoke pipes, seems they didn't like smoking pipes, and they'd wear, like, tweed and all that. Oh, that's fucking lamb. Yeah, and they would literally, like, probably adopt a kind of like a, oh, yes, yes, I, uh, you know, like a... Yo, Jolly good.

Yeah, fucking tap of the morning to your asshole. I'm going to hear some fucking blood, sats. and watch the Manchester United Soccer game match Yeah, they were kind of like calls play a little bit like English gentlemen, you know? That's embarrassing. They got out of it eventually.

Theater kids, man. Basically, yeah, yeah, basically. Well, I'll tell you, that's the end of the episode. Yeah. That flew boy. Yeah, well, I'm sorry, I wasn't at my... It was a little concerned at the start, but now you're full of pep.

Why? Was it noticeable? Not as much as usual. it was then. I've ruined it now. You've made little notes. I'm going to be more depressed. Subpar performance. I was having, I'm just anxious from the hangover, but, you know, I'm fine. Well, don't worry. In the next episode, we'll talk about House again. Okay.

Jimmy Carter. All right. David Peace. Wuthering Heights. I wrote down dirty Jew. Oh, yeah, sorry. That's the Super Bowl. The anti-semitism.

Oh, yes. The Super Bowl. Bad Bunny. Yeah, yeah. And Kid Rock Who had the better one? Yeah

I'll let you decide Honestly It's a tough one Because they're pretty much Necky Neck in my book You know They're both shy Oh

No sacred cars The bad body one was good I didn't understand any of it But you know It was well choreographed Oh and also We're going to start A series of guests

The next few weeks Guys all right So let us know If you want guests on the Patreon or because I'm always concerned by this. Some people want the Patreon

just Brian James I think so When a guest comes in it ruins the flow Yes Or even worse It makes it flow better And they don't want me

Oh Yeah that's a big concern I have Let's be honest I'm the dead way here No Oh we're not at all You're carrying me This whole episode

Yeah but that makes you weak You know What It's like a nanny Mining a baby Okay Yeah Makes the baby weaker

And gayer Yeah That's why I Oh I need to say suck at my bottle, Bobby. So, we'll be back. I might go to the shops.

Okay. We're going to take a big shit. You're always taking shits. So? And what? Maybe you need to take some more. Wouldn't be coming out your mouth quite as much. Boom.

Roasted. I want to, oh, by the way, okay. Next episode, The History of Romania. Hmm. Yeah, get ready. I've learned some interesting stuff.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. You got to tease any of it? No. I've forgotten it all.

You know what I need to do as well? You watch Marty Supreme. We keep saying it. Oh, yes, yes. Although there's been like a backlash now or now everyone hates it. Yeah, because of Josh Safty. Multiple reasons.

Josh Safty, the guy from Shark Tank, and also it's Zionist propaganda. Okay. It's what some Nazi said on the... Well... at the bus stop. Now I'm going to support it even harder. Yeah.

That's the end of the show. All right. Goodbye.