Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 284 : Scream 7

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

the land lord cometh

welcome. Laughter is the best medicine. I'm like Patch Adams over here. Going around the hospice. Look at you, you goofy, the roast master general.

Good. Yeah, so we're back, guys, with a free episode here. James is making fun of me, but I'm powering true. I'm not going to let ruin my fucking day

there, you know. I'm not doing my job. If you're able to get out of bed in the morning, I'm doing something wrong, you know. It's hazing. That's what I say.

he's been hazing me for many years years and years of hazing but I'll be working in the end won't it? Yes, when the love comes in someday, kind of like you know that John Davidson and I swear. Yeah. He got

bullied and he got to meet the queen and Michael B. Jordan like of me someday. Yeah. Call the queen the N-word. Okay. I think that's okay. Calling the queen the N-word? I think black, I think

the black community would be okay with that okay yeah let's try it out only one way to find out she's dead now we don't make it harder but go to a psychic get a yeah I want to go to a medium or a it's a psychic isn't it that talks to the date medium yeah medium yeah yeah

well how you be getting on James alright you know you know much crack I'm alive I'm surviving you know driving well that's what I've heard from exactly you're gonna lie to me Brian least put a bit of effort into it for God's sake. Well, look, there's people out there,

you always got to think, does people out there way worse than you? Yeah. Yeah, so that kind of cheers you up. You know, you see some bum on the street, you know, and he's probably doing worse than you. Probably. I don't know. Airwine probably feels pretty good, I would imagine. But yeah, I've been having a good time, if you're, in case you asked.

I didn't, but all right, tell me about it, I suppose. What have you been doing that's so much fun? I wouldn't say fun, but being productive, you know And we kind of had a win this week We defeated landlord Amen Well, we don't know that yet No, we defeated him

Okay Yeah, yeah The landlord try to take us down You know, you don't come with the king bitch Yeah, yeah So our landlord wanted to raise our rent All right And he arranged a meeting

And I was like, holy fuck, okay I need my main man The heavy over here, Cadden, okay, all right The big man, okay, big dog Okay, so you're were there and you were drinking some vodka to get ready alright yeah and uh i was drinking it anyway you know regardless of

getting ready or you know just time right yeah just passing the day is waiting for the you know that sweet release uh so the landlord's coming over okay so i was watching all these videos but i'd negotiate okay i was watching scenes from succession you know glen gary glen ross yeah yeah put that coffee down Put that Doctor Who book down. Dr. Who book is for closers. Who am I? I'm the guy with the fucking Hayonde,

motherfucker. I've cost three grand. Yeah, right off the lot. Oh, by the way, okay, I didn't like this. Speaking of bums on the street, all right? So I parked up at a Eurospar, right, with my car, right? Hyondai I-10.

I-10. The car right beside me, Hayondi, I-10. Right. Okay. So I'm not a fucking idiot. Okay.

They're exact same car, right? I want to make that clear. One's a bus and one's a submarine. I'm like, well, what's going on? All right. So there's two fucking cars there, okay? High on the I 10. High on the I 10.

There's a homeless woman there, okay? I gave her money. I normally don't. I don't want to encourage that behavior, all right? But I actually had some money and the size of the car, you know? I was like, oh, fuck, I just give it to her, right? Shut her up, all right? Yeah, yeah.

Okay? So I gave her the money, okay? Go in. I get a roll, all right? I come out, I put my keys in the wrong car, all right? And it's the same car, all right? I look around, she's laughing at me. This woman, I was like, give me the money back.

You've lost your money privileges. You think you're better to me, do you? All right? I'll take that euro off, yeah. Well, it's actually 10 cent, but still, pick it off, yeah, you can die in the street from it. I drove off in my car. Were they the same color?

No. One was pink. It's like, oh, this is mine. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's... She's laughing at me, yeah. Yeah. And she's filming me with her fancy phone as well.

It's way fun, fancier of mine. Yeah. She had the I-10 as well, you know? Oh, my God. Well, to be honest, that's... She's lost a customer then. Yeah, exactly. No more charity from you. I told everyone else, don't give money to her.

Yeah. She'll laugh at you because you're getting the wrong. car. You got on the wrong car? What the fuck's wrong with you? You're fucking stupid or what? And they'll start or giving her more money

to piss me off. Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah. Actually, at Eurospar as well. I was there last night, all right? And I went to get my fucking, I do, you know, pretty cool guy.

I want to get my Heinikins and yogurt. Oh, yeah. So I can mix them all together. Bit of hyenomite and, uh, yogurt. Yeah, yeah. I don't have a cool name for yogurt. Yoga, no.

ffugert so I got my cans of Amsterdam that's what they call yogurt oh okay yeah and no Heinrichin

and then there's a guy in front of me okay who I think was German or something and he was like talking to the young one

I didn't know if he knew her or not he's like have you heard about Iran uh huh she was like what

Iran they've killed the children she's like alright yeah yeah what do you want from me cash or car Should have killed the children here, aren't they?

Yeah. The fucking Dublin Zoo, yeah. Can you believe they're killing the babies in Iran? It's terrible. Oh my God. Another time actually... Performative male. Yeah, yeah.

I'm so... Yeah, but like, another time, okay, speaking to going to the Euros bars and all that, I went to an apple grain a few days ago, right? Oh, yes. Near Carlo. And I went to get a coffee, and there's these, like,

like, three women, And like their 50s are right. Uh-huh. So they're not like naive, I don't think anyway. And they're trying to get coffee. And they've obviously pressed like, you know, the large coffee button. Oh, yes. But they put a small cup there.

With a thimble, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So most people like, oh, fuck it. Would you believe that, you know? They're all looking at it. You're like, what, would you believe that? And you press the big one.

And the little one. Oh, what are you like? And they're all like giggling and giggling. Yeah, yeah. And there's three of them. And the one is. standing, so one is standing there at the port, the coffee

where you get her coffee, she doesn't even getting coffee, just stand in the way. She's in the way. Yeah, I'm just fuming. I refuse to laugh. There's nothing funny about this. You're obviously losing your mental faculties. Yeah, probably have dementia. Early on said dementia.

Or maybe it's just typical dog-brain women behavior. Yeah, or think about that, God is what you should have you around with me all times. Get him, James, get him. Because you're good at that. I've just passed out in the front seat after, wake me up out of my vodka coma. James, some women are enjoying life.

Get them. They're like letting a dog off the leash, you know? Like a bullseeing red. Sick him, boy. Because you're much better being sexist than me. Chopper, sick balls. Well. I think women like it when a guy's like,

a little bit sexist, you know, but like in a kind of confident way. Yeah, usually they don't like it if it's coming from a guy who looks like me. No, no, can you stay with confidence, though? It's all about attitude, all right? You're like, hey, you fucking dog,

and they're like giggling, you know? Oh, look at him, I can fix him, you know? Whereas I'm just like, yeah, women, you shouldn't have got to vote. I'm reading a book about women voting now, yeah? And I'm nodding my head the whole time. You mean shaking your head? No, no, I'm agreeing with it.

Oh, okay. Actually, you have a book about women voting here. Yes, he does. It's called Irish Women and the Vote Becoming a Citizen by Louise, Rhine, and Megan Ward. Margaret Ward. Oh, all right. So, shut up, all right?

Oh, well, I'm sorry. You don't have anything. How do people be fact-checking this podcast? Like, a Brian made a boo-boo. Someone's going to lose their job over that. But if somebody knows that book, and they'll say, I don't want to be accused. I'm going to burn the book now.

I'm going to kill Megan Ward Margaret I'm going to kill Megan Ward Have Megan the stallion killed Shooter Nurephal Hey

By the point is Landlord This is a free one Okay There's no silliness Okay Alright So landlord came over

I'm watching these videos How to like You know Win against your opponent Right In the game of the Ballroom Not the board room

I'm learning Ballroom dancing. No, the board room. The ballroom blitz. Ballroom blitz. So I want to win in the battle of the boardroom, all right?

So a landlord comes over. I'm trying to do these things where let him talk first. Yeah. Remember that? Yes. But there were. So he came over and he was like, yeah, yeah, how are you getting on? And just like silence.

Yes. And I'm like, let him talk. And a minute past, I'm like, oh, sorry. Sorry. Oh, I apologize. Yeah, he was doing, he was, there were a lot of long, awkward silences.

Yeah, so he comes in, I'm like, oh, how are you getting on? Have you been thinking about the rent? I've been thinking about nothing. Yeah. I haven't been thinking. I've been thinking about thinking. Yeah.

He was like speaking in really vague, coded language. Speaking riddles. Yeah, yeah. And I was kind of like, yeah, well, you know, we've been thinking as well. Yeah. Silence. and like, yeah, so we have, we have been thinking.

And we thought, you know, you haven't raised the rent in a while. So, you know, maybe we could, you know, give you an extra hundred euro. A month? Yeah, he's like, he looked at me as if they offered him dog shit. Yeah, yeah. Literally, it looked like you handed him an envelope and inside it were pictures of his teenage daughter in a bathtub. He wasn't happy, is what I'm saying. you tried to do and he's like these aren't my kids well then yeah i guess i wasted a thursday for nothing huh

so i was like you know and i in my head was like you give him the number that's the real number right yeah so we say a hundred and then he says 200 and then we say 150 deal yeah that's the art of the deal right there negotiation right there. Watch and learn James. Like James, you be quiet. Don't fuck this up for me. All right. Yep.

And he was like, you know, I was like, we'll have you an extra hundred euro. He's like, no, we're going to do a... An extra... An extra grand. Literally, yeah, he won like an extra grand. Yeah, yeah. He wants to bang up the tree grand.

And also, he's not going through the RTB. He's just coming around and like trying to fucking big dick. And he actually had a big dick as well. I didn't like that. Well, okay. I didn't inspect, but... Well, you weren't looking. He went to the bathroom one stage

Yeah But yeah So he's trying to big dick me all right And he's like Nah I was like That's a lot of money I'll have to check with my roommate

You haven't checked already Yeah I mean you just said number Okay Yeah 400 Uh 4 grand

Would you like my car Do you know which one's yours Oh fuck you You lock out The homeless woman's at the window laughing Yeah So, and then we're going, kind of going back and forth a little bit. It was mostly just me, all right?

And then he comes after you then. Yeah. You parted staring at me, like proper staring me down. And then I can't remember really what, I mean, I kind of just wasn't really flinching. I was just like, I just stared back at him. I was doing enough flinching for both of us. Well, like. Yeah, because he was like, what, you think about this?

Yeah. And you were kind of like, ah, you're being. a bit vague there. Yeah, yeah. He's like, ah, I like being vague. Yeah. I just kind of saying, it's like, look, you're not really giving us anything to work with here. You're kind of coming around

and, you know, you didn't give us a number or what you're thinking at all. And then when we gave him a number, that's what he started going, no, it needs to be an extra grand. He's like, right, well, that's not fucking happening. And then he said he might do

2,500. Yeah, yeah. As if like, he's doing charity work for us. Yeah. Like we're the bums on the street and he's giving us the money, right? Which would be technically a 20% increase and, you know. Now obviously we're paying fuck all compared to what other people are paying

but like, you know, that's not our fault. You didn't raise it. We're still paying quite a lot. Yeah, I know, but it's not like we're going to ring him up and say, hello sir, we've noticed that we have too much money. Would you like some more? You know, fuck that like. But then we don't, the Gaff isn't registered with RTVs. This is all illegal anyway.

Check me. Yeah. So what's the next stepped in. Did you do much research into the laws? Yeah. So pretty much. The two things he can do. This is educational for listeners as well. Because they've changed the laws, like I said, they make it easier to heck out bums like us. But this gaff is in a rent pressure zone.

So legally, you can only raise a 2% every year per year. And because it's been seven years since the last increase, technically... Are we not technically taking advantage of him? well we're kind of like we're the baddies here no he didn't fucking like

he didn't come around he's scared that's like well he's not registered the RTB so none of this is legal anyway you know what I mean

that's what he did say a lot when we were talking he was like we don't get people involved yeah yeah exactly I don't get people involved the way he arranged this meetup was he wrote a handwritten

note through our letter box he doesn't want a paper trail at all this should have been the Patreon I think so we're getting to well What's he going to do? Is he listening?

Maybe. What's he going to do then? I hope he kicks us out. It'd be good for us on long run. Try me, yeah. I'll refuse. You'll be sitting outside Eurospar laughing at people getting into the wrong car then, yeah? Yeah.

Or maybe you and that girl will become an item, a homeless couple, and then she'll laugh at you when you try to put it in the wrong hole, you know? That's me assholes. I try and stick my cock in a car. It's the wrong car. But yeah So he can't raise it by as much As he wants to

So I say at this point This is so crazy for me I used to always hear about landlords being bad And I was like that must be fictional Like he couldn't be really like you know You hear about the police Yeah Yeah

You know Beating up black people or whatever like that It's like nah I can't be true Okay And then okay It's like the landlord Because like I'm from a proud family

Of landlords You are And now it's like they've turned against it's like I'm one of you Yeah like I was like Hey man I understand raising it for cat And right

But hey I'm I'm he's a bum Yeah he's a worthless dog Yeah I only keep him around to laugh at him When he gets drunk Do you know it's actually I did drop that when I was talking He's like yeah sure I know us

Like sure I rate We went rent houses as well you know You shouldn't have told him that That's because that is like Oh you got property Then you got money So give me more money You know

We do a special handshake you're not a part of it. What is that handshake where he puts his dick in your mouth? Oh, it's the secret landlord handshake. You can't join in, James. You wouldn't do it right.

I learned to breathe through my nose at a very young age, so you can't get involved. So that was about a week ago. Yeah. And he hasn't been around since, has he? Nope. Have you heard from him? Not at all.

Yeah. See, I am in tech. texted him. Yes. And I had a whole thing ready, a whole message ready, you know, it was very passive aggressive.

Okay. It's like, oh, thanks so much. Yeah, that would be great that we pay that much more money. Yeah.

It doesn't really come across on text. I was like, oh, jeez, he's very agreeable now. I'm very pleasantly surprised by this. Oh, yeah. We're delighted.

Yeah. Oh, we can't wait to pay more money because you really deserve it, don't you? Yeah, you do. I do, yeah? It's very... These lads are all right.

Very understanding young man, yeah. So, we'll keep you updated, listeners, all right? But so far, this week at least, we're not homeless. Yes. It's fun, though. It's like everything's a bit more exciting now. It's like, you have a health scare, and suddenly you appreciate life more.

Nope. Not me. Well, I'm appreciating the house more now Because we could have lost it Yeah, we could have And now I'm like, wow, I'm going to watch even more Star Trek here Gonna live life to the max Maybe Starfleet Academy isn't actually terrible

Maybe I've been too harsh in my criticism Oh my God I am going to watch all the Starfleet at some stage It's so hard to watch though I keep trying to watch it I'm like, come on, I'm progressive or, you know I love diversity, okay And I think, you know, when they say sleigh

I'm not an old man okay. I like it when they say all these cool hip things you know and then they start

talking and I'm like oh fuck off oh it's giving cling on vibes and I try

like I lie to myself I'm like yeah look those clingons or kissing each yeah gay clingons

yeah cling on these nuts bruh yeah yeah and I think it's like I feel like the new

Star Trek is like because it's all the Ellison's own it the Ellison's own Paramount okay and I feel like

this is kind of like some kind of a false flag to destroy woke. Oh. Yeah, where they're like, look at this. The calls are coming from inside the house. I feel like a lot of this stuff is like, look, we're going to make this extra shit on purpose. Right. And then you'll have to watch Yellowstone.

Oh, okay. You have no choice than matter. Yeah. Yeah. And they got me. You started watching Yellowstone. I bought all the Blu-rays. Ah, yeah. I'm watching Wyatt Earp on VH. on laser disc because I'm old school

yeah but like look so yeah we're not homeless things are going well for us you've been watching some movies as well I went to the cinema for the first time in a long time I keep trying to be nice to you and you always take

as like an insult you know someone like oh look what you got out of bed today you take that an insult you know because it is an insult no it's me encouraging you no it's not it's talking down to me it smells like you showered this month oh good for you

and you just can't handle the positivity that I'm giving you you know but you looks like you made out of the house to go to the cinema yeah do you know how it's so think it is to eat the popcorn off the ground to be talked down to by somebody who's

unemployed like oh lazy bones yeah yeah I'm working flat out are you yeah man I am spreading fertilizer are all over the place. Places where they shouldn't be spreading it. Yeah. Spreading your seed where it's not wanted. Everywhere. Not for the first time.

There's a lot of freaks out there, okay? And I am free of charge protecting the innocent from the freaks. Oh. Oh my God. How are you doing this? I'd give example of the people out there, right? All right. So I was hanging around the secondary school, okay, a few days ago.

Of course. Just to stop any freaks. Making sure it's all above bored, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I see little lads looking at me suspiciously. Right, okay. And they're there with their children.

They're like, oh, stay away from here. Why? What are you hiding? You don't like it, do I? I'm here to rattle a few cages, yeah? Oh, that Nick Shirley guy. Where's the Somalians? Some secondary school in Carlin, I'm like, yeah?

Who's really running this? Oh, my God. You go there in a Sunday. Look, there's no one even here. The entire thing is a pyramid scheme. It's a laundering money. It's a fraud. They're probably off in the synagogue, aren't they?

Oh, you won't. That's where you famously find Somalians in the synagogue. Well done. Praying to Mecca in the synagogue. And I'll have exams come up as well. Right. These exams are pissing me off. Yeah.

Because we got a new lecturer, all right? Okay. So we had, oh, I fucking, it's so, so, so we had one guy, all right, for our farming course. He was like, I'm filling in because the woman who's meant to be here

is pregnant again. That bitch is always pregnant, man. Don't even get me started. Yeah. And then... She a welfare queen? What's going on?

Shh. Come on now. What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? You ask every woman, then. And I'm right more often than you'd think, you know? But anyway.

So, like, so he was there for first, like, six months. Right. Then the teacher comes back. She gets pregnant again. Okay.

The day of. Uh-huh. Literally, the day she came back, she got noted in, all right? In front of us. Right. And then she goes, we have a new guy now, all right? And he can spell. That's one thing, all right?

Every time he says put, he says, but. Oh. When he's typing us letters, all right? Oh. Like little things like that. It's like, you have a spell check. Don't want to read it again, you know? Yeah.

This comes from me, by the way, dyslexic boy over here, right? Yeah. But like put and butt are like... Yeah. So he wants to butt it in my putt. What? I don't get that at all. Yeah, so he's always just like, hey, butt the essay here and stuff like that, okay?

But then, instead of sending emails, he's now sending over email audio messages. Oh, that's annoying. Yeah. So he'd be like, but he'll still be texting. So he'll, in the email, he'll... he'd be like, hey guys, here's all the info about the exam next week. And then, like an audio file. Yeah, yeah.

And you're like, and I, of course, I always expect the worst. I'm like, oh, I probably fucked that up. Yeah. Oh, it's my fault. Yeah. I've probably pressed it wrong. And now I'm going to fail. I have to kill myself.

Yeah. Just because I'm a big fucking idiot. Yes. But in the group chat, everyone's like, oh, we can't, no one, no one can open. this audio file. We're all fucking idiots. Is that what you're telling me? But instead, so the response from the lecturer, okay, instead of being

like, oh my bad, the file's not working, he's like real cunt. He's like, it seems like some of you are panicking because you can't open the audio file. Well, if you can't, don't worry, because here's the email instead. And he sends us the email with some

sample questions, and it's like dark blue text and white blue background. I think this guy is sort of like an idiot savant. He's sort of like, you know, he's having his phone with these like, yeah, bog-eyed colchies, you know? Yeah. Yeah, and so yeah, I have an exam tomorrow, actually. Right, what's it on?

Oh, I don't know. I can't play the file. It's all about, like, biodiversity. Okay. Don't like sound like that. So, yeah, it's all about, like, waterways and buffers. and water gaze and buffdy zones

you'd know all about that pal yeah very bio-diverse now in the exam I'm going to be writing buffety ways yeah so I'm kind of worried about the exam to be honest

so I'm going to be doing this is actually eating into my time here well good that's why I'm not drinking I want to do a third episode actually I can't say no to you no you can't maybe it'd be fun because it's a free one

how about just read off all the questions I don't think that would be fun You probably want to talk with Scream I don't really To be honest No You don't really Terrible

Well I know but like Bring it to me It sucks Next Well tell me about Scream 7 Okay right So just to keep people

Just interrupt you And let me do all talking Alright So Scream 7 A lot of controversy Okay Because they had a new cast Yeah

All ready to go We don't need you guys No more Courtney Cox Okay we got Jenna Ortega and what's the other one's name? Melissa Berrera I believe is her name.

That's exactly who are both very good to be honest it's a very difficult thing to replace like the lead of the franchise kind of so take away like it moves on

from Neve Campbell or Sidney Prescott passing it over to these two new like sisters like that's a big gamble and it actually worked out because they're both very good and it works like narratively and all that stuff.

And then Hamas ruined everything. Uh-huh. Hamas did this deliberately, okay? Because they hate the scream franchise. Yeah, yeah. And they did, this is true now. They literally did October 7th to get the girls probably, I guarantee you actually now.

And this is facts, okay? It's not just me being schizophrenic, all right? I never would have thought that. They did October 7th, all right? Because then they knew those girls. would post that stuff about genocide's bad, all right? Cunts, all right? Yeah, yeah.

And that helps Nev Campbell. Yeah. So Nev Campbell got $7 million for Scream 7. Really? Because of Hamas. Well. Yeah. I mean...

And if you're honest with you, probably Netanyahu's involved as well. She is the best final girl of all horror franchises. She is a scream queen. We need to bring back a little bit of... What they do And can I tell you something else? I've watched Scream 7 You sly devil

I have yeah But you've only watched the cam Though Not even the cam I watched a guy watching the cam And he's blind So he's just like what's happening Yeah

Hello Well it was fucking dog shit I didn't like it It sucked balls It was terrible What I was watching it And I'd be honest with you I was

I didn't go in open mind. I was like, James doesn't like this. So I have no choice in the matter. I gotta hate it. No. You definitely wanted to like it. Don't you can't lie

of me. I was hiring my best. It's the best of the franchise. The only good one, really? That first one was a snooze fest. Jamie Kennedy is terrible.

You fucking cut. You watch your fucking voice. You hear me. Can I just say I was watching it And I was like When a film is bad I'm really not

Involving it mentally at all I'm almost like watching myself watch it Yeah I'm like what am I thinking right now? Yeah I'm not thinking anything I imagine what must be like being a coma You know

But you're still kind of aware I feel not in right now Why is this? I was trying to like intellectualize it It just well It's just okay It's boring for one thing It's very uninteresting.

There's no real good set pieces. The performances are bad. The dialogue is bad. It's pure like trying to do nostalgia bit fan service and failing because it's just like so heavy-handed and obvious. Let's tell you what, make it easier for us. Let's start from the beginning. Okay.

All right. So Scream 7 starts off with what would you call the kind of fun house, kind of escape room, kind of based on the stabs. series. Yeah. So in the, yeah,

in the world of the screen movies, there was a movie called Stab based on the real life thing, blah, blah. Just,

I feel like this is something that's missed out on. But in the Scream universe, Stab is this massive franchise. It seems like,

for years, people are still talking with Stab and Sidney Presco. Mm-hmm. Surely we've moved on. Like, in the world of Scream,

wouldn't it be better to have one where like no one gives a fuck about Sydney Prescott? reska anymore and one crazy fan is like I gotta kill again to bring her back to the public consciousness Yeah that would actually

been a much better like motivation And he's like I'm helping you Sydney Yeah yeah yeah if I kill your family Then we'll both be famous Exactly yeah but That actually works a lot better than Yeah what this movie is

I'm glad you said it Yeah so yeah Tell those fucking Skydance people Who? Skydance? I think Don't they run scream? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I guess. Okay, well. I don't know. When they left Mirror Max, that's what I knew. It was all darn hill.

Call Bob Weinstein right now. Are you happy, are you? Yeah? Why couldn't you have you looked out for that brother of yours? It's all, your fault. You and Hamas are both responsible. So, um, it's Jimmy Tataro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, um, his girlfriend, his girlfriend.

So they go to Stu Mocker's house. which was like the big climactic ending of the first movie and it's owned by one of the original killers. It's turned into this like haunted house Airbnb thing. Yeah. Which is kind of like a, you know,

it was an all right intro. Like it wasn't amazing and it wasn't terrible. You know what it was, okay? I was fully expecting it to be like a joke out. All right. So I was fully expecting to be like, hey babe, it was just a fake noise.

ho-ho-ho, you know. What did happen, though? No, but then he gets killed for real. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I thought it was going to be a double fake out, like, Scream 4, all right? Oh, yeah, yeah. So I was like, so when it actually happened,

I was like, oh, all right, it wasn't in the moment. Yeah. Again, it was. It was a sign again and me's over-tinking everything because they're not interested. Yeah, it was, like, that's the thing. Like, I'm not going to try and defend the movie at all because it kind of, it doesn't start great,

and it just gets worse and worse and worse. Now, we then cut to, Sydney Prescott and she's got her daughter now. Now not to be a nerd but it'll be like, this, continuity,

but did Sydney Prescott have a daughter in previous movies? And was that the daughter? That's, that's, no, to be honest,

she had daughters in, yeah, so when we saw her back in Screen 5, she had daughters, but they were infants, like they were little like kids,

you know? So, so basically, they kind of, yeah, just come in, it's like, oh, now she's got a daughter who's 17, but it hasn't been, like, 20, 22 was when the fifth one was made. And it's only four years later, so. And they were kind of doing some Brian O'Toole math there, you know. She was six.

It's been four years later, so now she's legal. You know? Yeah. No, it didn't make any sense. So I guess they're only, not that they even tried to explain it, but their own explanation would be he's like, oh, she had another daughter

that we just never talked about or knew about it. And is Joel McAil the father? No, this is his first, like he's never been in these movies. No, no,

is he the father of the daughter? I think so, yeah. So he was just away last time. I guess so, yeah. Yeah, he just wasn't.

He was at Comic Con. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, the whole thing is really, it's obviously, they had the seventh one

was going to be originally with Jenna Ortega and Melissa Barera then they got fired because of their anti-Israel stance and now so they're just like

okay fuck it we need to just throw something together so they just conjured up this half-assed idea they've put no thought into it well let's just again

let's try and focus on the positives the credits what do you think about Joel McHale he'd very dark hair didn't he his hair looked fake. I was very distracted by his hair

at that time. It was a very obvious... Like, I don't be catty, like, uh-oh. Oh, damn it he's had hair plugs. Ew. But I was like, why did he just... Gray would look better, I think.

Yeah, yeah. Now, his hair looked very fake. Yeah. Kind of like, you see like, Ben Shapiro's eyebrows? No. He's got very dark. He's got some work done.

His eyebrows are now bigger and blacker. Really? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Interesting. Like, they're gonna hatch. You are what you eat, I guess.

I guess that's I'd be saying he likes big black dick But anyway So yeah So then this new killer comes along It's like I'm gonna kill your daughter And all of her friends Sidney Prescott

Now we start to See some old faces And hear some familiar voices Were you in any way like fooled by this? No It was like it was very obvious I like, I, the only way you could be fooled is like,

surely they're not, like, it looks like AI, and the whole time they're saying, oh, it's AI, yeah, it's AI, it's AI, and that, so I thought maybe there would be a, you know, a double, double twist. Yeah, yeah, but no, they're just like, yeah, it's AI, obviously. What else would it be? Yeah.

Who would believe such a thing? I mean, the cinema, like, well? We don't even get, like, the, really, like, one of the most iconic parts of the Scream franchise, probably the most iconic card. You know about this. Is like the phone calls, right? Yeah.

So we maybe get one or two of those, but they're being replaced by these videos of Matthew Lillard, who was the character from the first movie. And he's like, hey, Sidney, guess who's back? So instead of the iconic phone calls, we're getting these shitty AI videos. Basically, it was the equivalent of like,

traveler videos like, here you know, Sidney Prescott. I'm going to box the lugs of you, you smelly bitch. You and your daughter, I'm going to kick the living fuck out of you. You got a head full of down syndrome. That's your little or no joyce here now and we're all coming after ye.

Your stupid could you. Like, it was just shite, man. You know, it sucked. It was awful. And I tell you, it just feels very repetitive. Yeah. And if they introduce new characters and you just don't care. Like, the thing about Screen 1 is I care about those characters, you know?

Even the fucking principal, Henry Winkler. You're right, yeah, yeah. With this, I really just like, okay, I don't remember the names of the character. No, it's like you see them for one to two scenes max. They probably all get like a couple of minutes of screen time

each and then they're murdered. You're just like, oh, okay, whatever. I don't give a fuck. They try to do something a little bit different where they catch the killer like 40 minutes in. Yeah. And yeah, even that was like,

so the killer comes to Sydney Prescott's house. Tries to kill the dog. Yeah, but then when they're outside, the killer's there, it gets run over, the killer gets run over by a van and who steps out, it's fucking Courtney Cox, like,

Oh, sorry to drop in, guys, you know, it was very stupid. And the reveal is like, who the fuck is this guy? We've never met him. We don't know him. He's just some lone crazy lunatic. Oh, all's well, that ends well. But as you say, we're only 40 minutes in.

It's only 40 minutes in. Yeah. So, like, you probably got up then. You're like, that's the end of the movie. everyone. Ah, good. I need to, I've been dying for a shite this whole time.

I like paying for a movie. It's nice and short. You stand up like, goodbye everyone. It's the end of the movie and he's going. You're like, oh, fuck. Goodbye, Juice. Goodbye, juice. That's how I end all of my cinema trips.

As the credits roll. Goodbye, juice. Et cetera. So the movie keeps going, unfortunately, you're right? And more and more young ones get killed. Was there any kills you liked? I kind of like the beer kill. Yeah, that was all right, I guess.

But again, it's like finding like, it's like finding a little bit like a cornflake and load of shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, when you're going through shit, look for corn flakes. Yeah, because I ate corn flakes and it's my shit I'm going through. That's called recycling, gang. intershittant fasting

hey yeah I tried you know they're not all going to be winners you know like I like the one

kill at the start where like she's holding on to the light and then she falls and then the bit when they're inside the walls like that was a nice visual but really when you think about it it was very stupid

because they went to the panic rooms It's like, okay, we're safe in the panic room. Oh, wait, I got to go get your dad. Let's leave the panic room immediately and just start crawling through the walls and basically having a full conversation. It's like, don't make any noise because he could hear us through the walls

and then we'd be fucked. They bring a boom box. Yeah, there's just like so many moments of that makes absolutely no sense logically that a character would do that or make that decision. Yeah. But anyway, so it turns along, it turns along. didn't mention, by the way,

it would be more important. Anna, what's your name? Anna Camp. She's the neighbor. Yeah. And she's got her weird old son. He's like, I'm a real true crime junkie.

So I'm like, that's him. Yeah. He's the killer. Oh, I know. I was really like, you know, I'm smart. The average movie gore. I've got it all figured out.

And then, what happens then? We believe Joel McHale gets killed. I totally believe he got killed. So did I. And he should have. And that was a problem. That was a big problem with the sixth one.

Yeah. Now, I didn't really like the sixth one, to be honest. A lot of people didn't. And you noticed they'd make a little dig of it as well. Yeah. Yeah. Well, man, the sixth one is fucking like citizen Kain compared to this one. But anyway, the thing with the sixth one is there's so many moments where characters get stabbed repeatedly.

I mean, hacked a bit and then they survive. It's like, if you're going to do that, you're just like removing the stakes completely. Like, getting stabbed is pretty bad. Yeah. And Joel gets stabbed. fucking 12 times. Like he gets hacked to fuck up and he's been bleeding out for hours

but he's still alive. But anyway, so the big reveal of who the killers actually are was so underwhelming and made no sense. So it turns out it's the neighbor and a camp.

Yeah. And her motivation was she had an abusive husband. Remember to start? She was like, yeah. She like said it just chatting casually, Cindy Prescott.

Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, my husband was abusive and beat me up. Yeah. I mean, how are you? Incredibly contrived and didn't work at all.

And yes, so I can't even remember why. She's like, you wrote a book about surviving trauma and I survived trauma, but now I'm going to make you relive trauma or whatever. I don't even remember. What is our actual motivation?

She went to a nut house, and that's where she met the other guy. She met the other guys. So there's two killers. Remember, the kids, they did a little bit like the movie rules thing, but they were like, this time the killer is not a fan of

Stab, the killer's a fan of Sydney Prescott. I wasn't really sure why they deduced that or why it's like just a contrived like on organic line of dialogue to justify the stupid shitty ending. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like none

of it works. It's all forced. It's stupid. It sucks. You're just kind of watch it. It's like watching it happen. Yeah. like, okay, she's dead, but she's not really dead. And shoot her in the head. I was just, I was bored and uninterested the whole time.

It sucked. It was terrible. Annoying, because it made so much money. You're going to make another one. They fast-tracked it. It's funny. It made the most money out of any of them. Yeah. Ever did financially. Which goes to show, like, there is still a big affection for the franchise,

but this one has just been such an abortion. Let's say you're Kevin Williamson. Yeah. All right. And you've done that. one. Yeah. And now they've said,

you gotta do eight. I'm like, oh, fuck, what do you do now? Kill myself. It's the only dignified thing. That's your answer for everything.

Well, man, I don't know. Yeah, it was awful. It's just... The thing they haven't done, which is like the emergency,

kind of like, if everything else goes to shit, okay? And this is where it blew up the franchise. Scream in space. No, exactly, Well, there's two things you could do, all right.

One thing I would do is I'd bring back, like, Heather Graham and Owen Wilson, no, Luke Wilson, you know, all the cameos over the years in the Stab movies and have them in there, you know, if you're really desperate. Or you can do a West Graven's New Nightmare thing where it's about Neve Campbell and someone's a fan of the Scream movies. That would be shite, though, I know, but I'm just saying, like, emergency break. No, I think it's a bad idea and you're an idiot. Don't spit on me. A little dick retard who deserves to be battered with a brick.

How about that? That's my review. Guys, no bad ideas, all right? Yeah, I don't know, man. I just like... The thing is, another thing about this franchise... This is all you had left. Yeah, pretty much.

It was this and nothing else. It's how I feel with Star Trek. Yeah. And Doctor Who and everything I love, actually. No, but mine was good originally, though. You've been, you know... I feel like you're mistaken, dear. It's an easy franchise.

the rank because they just get progressively worse. Each one is worse than the previous. I'm very much of that case. I think one, two and three, how you rank it. Yeah. I think two is bare and three. Literally. Oh, I didn't mention actually, speaking of two and three, you like all the cameos? No.

Oh, I thought, yeah. It was shitty AI and it was stupid. It was, oh, fucking sucked. I hate it so much. You know, it's smart. Put down the knife. Maybe I'm gonna, yeah. I'll stab myself. maybe that's what I'm gonna go to America with I'll stalk Kevin Williams

I'll be the fattest ghost face it's ever been like hey get back here I'm gonna get you you fucking assholes he goes up to stairs like I'll give up nah terrible really bad no redeeming qualities I'm sorry you hear that but you know that's what I get see

and that's why I never leave the house Brian because anytime I do I just get disappointed. Well, you watch another film as well. You watch the house... This is why you're not with Ebert, okay? You were Siskel and Ebert, you know, Siskel and Caden, it wouldn't we say... Because you have to, like, build up.

So tell you about the housekeeper. Tell me what it's about. Well, it's called the house maid, so... But yeah, you'd get the job, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah. So tell me about the beekeeper starring Sidney Poitier with his big tits and blonde hair and blue eyes. Yeah, great.

You fucking retard. Anyway, sorry. What's it called you the house? The house? It's not the housemaid, is it? Yes, it is. The house made.

Oh, sorry, I'm thinking of the handsmaid tale. Hands made. The housemaid. The housemaid. What's the crack with that? So, Yeah, it's about Sidney gets hired to be the housemaid,

basically caretaker for this rich, elite couple. Yeah. And we find out that Sidney was in jail and she's out on parole and she lies about her credentials to get the job. Why? Why was she in jail? Well, yeah.

And why is she trying to get the job? Because she just wants the job. But also, if you're a housemaid, you get to leave in the gaff, so you don't have to pay rent. She's like homeless living in her car, basically. No one one's city, Sweeney. Well, that's the thing, yeah.

Again, already it's a stupid. This movie is really fucking stupid, by the way. Well, tell me more about it then. So she gets the job. She gets the job and Amanda Seafreed. Is she got a kid or something? Yes, so Amanda Seafreed is the wife. She's got a husband and a kid.

And when we first, it starts with the job interview, Amanda Seafreed seems lovely. She's a delight. Like, you're going to have so much fun here. I feel really good about this you'll get the job it'll be fine and so then

after the interview I might get a little housekeeper for myself Yeah Where would you keep her? Him actually Why do you assume woman Okay I got you there

Did you? Yeah yeah I win yeah I was talking about disabled man Right Yeah real disabled No legs or arms I want you to clean the attic

Go hurry up Just put a toothbrush in his mouth. Now get up there and put a bit of elbow grease into it. Or I suppose it ought to be for you neck grease because you don't have an elbow, do you?

Yeah. I kick him up there like a rugby ball. Over the back. So yeah, she gets the job. We found out like she just got out of prison and so when she gets the job she comes in. Initially it's all good. They seem like a nice family but then one morning she wakes

up. Amanda Seafreed is going fucking mental. She's going crazy. She's like, what did you do with my notes for the PTA? I have a speech to give with the PTA meeting

you move by notes, you fucking idiot. Like so it's a total like switch. And Amanda Seafried is really the only good thing in this movie to be honest.

What happens next? So yeah, that basically so it's that reveal of oh, we thought she's nice but she's actually fucking psycho. And that's the whole thing.

So Sidney Sweeney's going along just doing what she can to get by and she's always pissing off Amanda Seafreed. And then we learned that Amanda Seafreed was like institutionalized and she's like on antipsychotic medication. She's on the

Tourette's drugs, isn't she? I don't know. Halpidro. Yeah, because we watched, I swear to teach James a lesson. Okay. This is why he got away with it and why you never will. And I need you to know that, James. Because he's Scottish and you're not.

No, that's she need me. I can fool the best of him. But in, I swear, he's got Tourette's and he's taking a drug. And you say it's the same drug that Amanda Seafreed takes. Yes, so it's an anti-psychotic medication. And we found out that Amanda Seafreed tried to drown her daughter in the bathtub. Happens all the time. And the daughter isn't actually the biological daughter of the husband.

So the husband, he's, you know, he's from a very very. rich family. He's a hero. Old money wealth, right? And Amanda Seafreed and her daughter, like, when they got married, went to live with him. But she's becoming more and more abusive and aggressive towards

Sidney-Sweeney. And the husband is like, I'm so sorry that she's being this horrible to you. It's completely uncalled for. And then a man, fucking Sidney and the husband end up banging, right? Okay. So they have this night away in the city. and they have like very beautiful, well-lit, soft, casual, you know.

Can I try and make a game out of this, all right? I need to try and guess what happens next, all right? So is the overall plot that Sidney Sweeney is like, fiddling with her medicine? No. Oh, all right, nope. Well, you don't win everyone. Pretty of a stupid assumption to make on your part, quite frankly.

It needs a hundred of shots, 100 shots. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Yeah. Yeah. Sure do. Yeah. I don't, look, I got there in the end, right? I tried me best, okay?

Yeah, you did. I want to in the future talk with more confidence. Uh, not succeeding. Anyway, so they have a night of passionate love making. Yeah, so they bang. It's very, uh, very tasteful and artfully shot. I don't like that. Okay.

I like it real filthy. Yeah. It's in the back of the van. Yeah. And he rubs the cababber. her face. You know, frothed. Yeah.

Smushes it all over. Yeah. You're plowing bubbles. That's oil, though. Yeah. There's no kebabs utilized in this sex scene. God damn, though.

Cindy Sweeney is just like incredible to watch. You know, she is a beautiful, beautiful woman. That's your opinion? I think that would be the opinion of most. in. Just, yeah.

So then they come back and Amanda Seafreys like, I know you've been fucking my husband, and I'm going to ruin you. I know you went to jail. I know you're out in parole. And if I make one call to your parole officer, you're done. Fuck you. I've got to ruin your life.

And then the husband is like, you know what? Amanda Seafreed, I don't like the way that you treat Sidney, sweetie. She's got nice big, beautiful titties, blonde hair, blue eyes. She's got great jeans. That's a dog whistle. and I'm not putting up with this. So you know what?

I want you to leave. And he's like, she's like, what? No, this is our house. Like, no, it's my house. I own it. You were institutionalized. So you don't have any power of attorney. The pre-nup is airtight.

You have to leave right now and you don't get a single penny. Goodbye. Yes. So then Amanda Seafreed drives off. And then Sidney Sweeney and the husband. She kills him. no

would you just pay attention would you listen all right let's say you yeah what are you gonna do make another wrong guess that derails me

and derails this whole episode yeah I'm gonna finish now yeah so then Sidney Sini and fucking the husband they're in love now

and they're living in the house together and so it's all good it's all good in the hood you know but then she Sidney Sweeney

drops a plate and breaks it turns out to be some very fancy china that's been in the family for years so the husband locks her up in the attic is like you've made a mistake and you're going to need to learn your lesson

so that like heirloom it was in my family for 21 generations so what I need you to do is take it takes a piece of the broken plate

and slides it under the door. I need you to carve yourself 21 times that broken piece of plate. Where are we in the film? How far into are we? We're just about reached the third act. Oh, I think this is the pre-credits. No, no, no.

So then we're like, wait, what the fuck? The husband? Isn't it the nice guy? Well, I mean, I mean, like, look, it's a very fancy plate, I'm saying. Yes. Look, if she breaks one plate, she's going to break another one.

So, look, I don't want to be the bad, guy here and but I'm just saying like you will heal the plate won't heal I have some very cool plates back home right with the tariff on it I got a cool Dalic mug that says exterminate

paper plates don't break though if you drop them Brian so I think you're safe you drop my plastic fork you got to cut yourself in a plastic fork so we're like wait what the fuck the husband isn't the nice cool guy with the big arms and the big pecker that we all thought he was. So then we cut back to a few days earlier

when Amanda Seafreed got kicked out of the house. And then as she's driving off, we think she's crying. She actually starts laughing. And she's like, so then she drives off. And she's staying in a hotel by herself. She's jumping on the bed.

She's delighted. She's drinking and smoking. It's like, I'm free. I'm finally free. And then she writes a letter to her daughter. because her daughter's away at camp this whole time is all going on. So if that's with this letter, get ready for a big exposition dump, basically. That's what happens.

So we find out that she was a single mother who was working in a law firm as a like paralegal. And who was like top like, you know, high position in the company, but the husband. His name is Nick. So then they get together and she's like, he's like, he's rich. He's handsome. I'm a single mother who's struggling to make ends meet. The fact that this guy likes me is incredible. He proposes six weeks in. She's like, my knight in shining armor, you save me. And then as it goes along, we find out that the reason she's become so mental and unhinged is because your man was like abusing her and like forcing her to take antipsychotic medication. He locked her up in the attic as well. He made her like rip out a bunch of hair. And he framed her to make it look like she'd try. tried to drown the kid. So he basically, like, completely manipulated the whole situation to make her look insane. It's like, we will very, we'll have a very happy life together if you follow the rules.

And don't upset me. But just know, if you do upset me, I can ruin your life almost instantly. And he has her institutionalized a bunch of times. And we're finding all this out with pure exposition. I'm finding this a little bit hard to follow, but that's not your fault. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's, it's stupid.

Yeah, yeah. Any questions? No, are we near the end, are we? Yeah. So now we find out... I have some questions, but I don't want to be asking. I won't be like that guy who, like, a start of movies, like, who's that? Yeah, yeah.

Who's the pirate? So basically we found out, we thought it was being framed that a man to see-free does this horrible, crazy schizo that was abusing Sidney. Turns out she's a victim. And it was actually the man who was the bad person the whole time. So then basically at the end, Sidney and Manate Cifree joined forces and they kill him. How? They like push him off the stairs and he like cracks his skull open and she stabs them.

They do a bunch of shit to him. Now why do, why is she joined forces with Sidney Sweeney? Because she's the one, she like basically planned the whole thing to bring Sidney Sweney to the house. Oh. Because if you think about it, they actually do look quite alike the two of them. Okay. So she was like, Sidney's exactly as type. She's basically a younger version of me with bigger tits.

Catnip. Yeah. So she basically had it so that, you know, her husband would kick her out and take up Sidney instead. And she did that so she could take her daughter and escape. But then she kind of feels guilty. It's like, oh, I actually have to go rescue Sidney Sweeney now. it's very stupid

It seems It's a stupid fucking movie The way you've described it It sounds Kind of bad Yeah I'm sure it's great And you just described it wrong

Okay Yeah I mean obviously look They do it in a way Where you know They keep your attention Because she's wearing a look On top a lot of the time

So you know You'll watch it or whatever No I don't notice that stuff I'm more into the cinematography I mean it's shot well I guess You know Who directed her

Paul Fieg Oh him Yeah I don't want to watch it now. Yeah. So it's not really a surprise that he directed the film where The women are the victims

and the man is the bad bad. Well, I don't mind that. Oh, yeah. It makes you angry. Come on, Brian. Admit it to yourself. Come on. What about men's day?

Men's mental. Well, if those silly women wouldn't stop dropping plates, maybe he wouldn't have to lock them in the attic and beat them with a hose or whatever, you know. I like to get the guy's perspective on this I want to see what his

So he's just like evil For no reason He's just like a rich sadistic asshole But he gets away with it Because he's handsome and charming And he has the power I wish I was handsome and charming To make it look like

The women are crazy It sounds like a lot of work Like This is why I don't abuse my wife I don't have a wife But like All the stuff alike You have to

give her antipsychotics and you got like pretend. How did he fake the daughter drowning stuff? So he basically He just threw a cup of water in the daughter. No, he drugged the wife and put the daughter in the bathtub and then called the cops. Even that's so much work. I just take the drugs myself.

Okay. Well that's probably why he's you know a rich elite Illuminati old money guy and you're sitting on a couch with me recording a podcast. Not wearing socks. No, you're not. That's always a bad sign.

If I'm not wearing socks, it's like, couldn't even do that. The raptor on your neck. The raptor on my balls. But yeah, so that was the housemaid. Stupid movie, but nice to luck out. Well, the sequel's coming. Well, I'm not going to watch it.

What are you doing with the sequel then? So the sequel's going to be about girls being bad. You know how it ends, though, right? So Sidney Sweetie goes to this other house to be a housemaid. It's like, you got recommended very strongly by your previous employer, Amanda Seafreed. And then we looked down, we see that the woman that's interviewing Citi Sweeney's got bruises on her arms. Like, my husband can be very hard to please, but do you think you'll be able to handle him?

Yes, I don't think that'll be a problem. So, like hitmen. Yeah, pretty much. Big titted hitman, titman. There we go. Well, what? Look, I'm not a misogynist. Her entire career

No one never said that Her entire It's like you know John Davidson Never apologize Yeah yeah That's like you You know

Her whole career is based on And look at my breasts And they are lovely She's a very good actress Not in this She's not She is And you are blinded

By years of misogyny Okay I'm not saying she's not a good actress I'm saying in this She's not a good Like it's not a good performance

She's kind of sleepwalking Through the whole thing Amanda Seafreed is doing all the heavy lifting in this movie performance-wise. I'll have to watch it and find out. What's she ever been in that she's been good in, would you say?

Who knows? Madam Webb? Yeah, she was. Yeah, very good than Madam. Madam Webb's on Netflix now. Let's watch it together. I was going to study for my exam, but let's watch Madam Webb instead. I'll learn just as much.

We're over the hour. Yeah, we are over the hour there. I did the two movies. There. Okay. It's not a contest. Well, it is. and I'm winning.

Yeah, not much else to talk about. I was going to talk to something called the Stone of Destiny real quick. Go on. I've written about it, so I might as well just real quick. So you know what we're talking about coronations earlier?

Yeah. All right? When the King of England gets, you know, ascends to the throne, all right? King or Queen, there's a thing called

the Stone of Destiny that's involved. Right. I think they like, you know, they stand and they'll just tap the sword off for something, okay? Rub the balls on it. Yeah.

So that stone is actually from the Holy Land. Israel. Well, it depends who you ask, all right. So it is actually, all right, some fella

put rest his head in the stone because he was sleepy. And he walked up and saw angels. And angels were like Israel's right to defend itself.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And then that stone this is literally during Jesus time. okay, okay, and then that stone was sent over to England and they had that stone in England

ever since, apart from, I think the 70s, some Scottish people robbed it. As they do. Yeah, and they poured whiskey on her like, whey! Aye, a bit of fucking iron-brewing whiskey, pal! A bit of a can of tenon' it, a bit of fucking haggis, pal. They bride march bar! And they brought us like a Celtic game, you know, they put shades on it, you know?

You are, yeah, you are, yeah. But then, in the 9th, They gave it back. Good. Are we a bit sorry about that? Learned their lesson. Yeah, yeah. They probably thought it was a crack rock.

No, no, you can't smoke it, you haggis eating bagpipe cut. Well, it turns out it's actually not from the Holy Land. Oh. It's from like Norwich. Well, that's my is real.