Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 289 : Ladies First

Episode Date: May 31, 2026

The Devil Wears Nada

Why? Again? What are you doing? He did this the last time. Oh, the lighting's bad. Fucking Kubrick over here. You're recording on your phone. With some piece of shit stand you got from Timo that was made by a four-year-old with one eye. I'm supposed to expect you give a fuck about lighting.

Actually, I didn't buy it from T-Moo, actually. James, you know it? I bought it from the Omni. Even worse. Even worse. The fanciest place of ever being to my... my life, the omni. Palace.

That's where C-Mat filmed her music video. Yeah, and I did the same thing as her. I started dancing around the place, singing about Bertie and all that.

Not as charming when I do it. No, yeah. Well, she had her clothes on. So that's where you went wrong. Making a statement, or it. You had a brown envelope

staple to the end of your cock. It's about capitalism. Unhand me! What you're doing, crazy white boy? Get out of you. Is that C-Matman? I'm working on the impression

I haven't quite nailed it but I'm getting there it's in the ballpark well we had a lot of fun some might say too much fun on the Patreon episode got a little wild yeah I said some things

where I shouldn't have but it's your fault I take the blame entirely you were feeding me the lines and we got a bit too silly and we were talking shit about people and you know we had so much fun there but time to shape up all right

we're going to do some quick updates first All right. First of all, people are wanting to find out a Katie Price update. Oh, yeah. I think her husband's still kidnapped. No, he's in jail. Oh, really? Yeah.

How'd you know more than me? Because I don't know. You got inside source. I've got Harvey on there. Yeah. Harvey's got outwitted by Harvey. I've got him on the burner, you know. I love you, can't.

No, yeah, he's in jail, I believe. Oh. So he was arrested, not kidnapped. but he's still, you know Well, she says doing the way that can cheer Doin he can get her through all this is is CBD oil. Really?

Yeah. And does she happen to promote a specific brand of CBD oil? Would you believe? That's crazy how you guessed this, all right? Wonderful happenstance. They are serendipity. The universe will always provide, Brian. I've always said that, you know me. I'm a beacon

of positivity and light. The universe will Mother Earth will provide. Guyah. Yeah, so she's, it's a coincidence, like you said. So if your husband gets kidnapped or arrested James, all right, just smoke some CBD oil. Or do you smoke it or rub it or lick it or put it up your ass?

Well, you could, all of the above. There are many options. Can I dip my cock in it? You could do, yeah, could do. Might make it a bit bigger. Well, an oil, the oil, you just kind of take it sublingually, I believe, is the term. I beg your pardon. In your mouth.

Then there are topicals that you can rub on your skin. And you can't smoke. You can get like CBD flour, which is like weed without the THC. You can smoke it. Don't know why you'd bother, but all right. It's good if you mix the two. Get a little blend going, you know. She gives CBD oil to Harvey and then he comes on camera.

Well, hello, mother. You love making fun at Harvey. No, I don't know what? I'm being. You know, I was like, oh, I'm smarter than him. If it was a spelling contest, I'd probably win. I feel very bad for him because she has forced him into a public life

against his will. He can't consent and he is subject to horrific abuse. She sits him down and it's like, look Harvey, look at all the horrible things they're saying to you. Like he wouldn't know if she didn't, you know. I think his life is great. He's boxing now.

His life is way better than us. Well, that's not hard. We're not the barometer to measure against. That's never a good. If he saw our lives, he started charity. like he start crying you need to help these people what's wrong with you

do a charity single for us you know him and dizzy rascal and C-Matt would probably jump on you know all the big boys all the Brian O'Toole

Tiny penis and he is a fool Oh God it'll be great Well look we So that's Katie Price update We'll just get out of the way We'll do Doctor Who update

nothing to report nothing to report I thought there was the Christmas special got delayed no that's you know that's actually I feel sad for you actually you believe that bullshit

okay it's just some newspaper saying that it's delayed because no one likes Doctor Who anymore and the only people who like it are like emotionally retardant is that a phrase emotionally retardant

I don't think so but go ahead emotionally smelly, you know, man-children with dirty penises. So not true then is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, look, we don't know. The problem is there seems to be radio silence when it comes to Doctor Who at the moment.

No one's responding. We don't know what's happening. It's all up in the air. This was meant to be sorted. Like, I remember back a few years ago, Disney signed the Doctor Who deal. And this was it. We're going to get Doctor Who every year

and we're going to get multiple spin-offs. Maybe Doctor Who in the Marvel, the MCU. Don't even get me started. The MC Who? Doctor Who and the MCU? No, I literally did fan art about this, okay? Brian, don't ever admit that to anyone, for the love of God. They find that my hard drive.

Buried in the garden, the sick fucking cunt. He's got a fan art of the MC Who. That's not a real intellectual property. He's fucking, he's nuts out, Mike. he's fucking gone in the end he's a rungin a cyber spider man what the hell is that

cyber spider man oh wow can I see some of your fan art not now no it's only for I'm saving it for the woman I marry it's only for like cool guys

in the dark web right to share an encrypted key yeah so there was basically all went tits up all right and they're like

no it's coming back for Christmas yeah yeah and they haven't filmed it yet and they're worried that they won't be able to get Billy Piper, they won't be able to get David Tenant they won't be able to get anyone really and

one thing if they're like, hey guys, don't worry we're working there or anything okay no one's responding to it no but literally we are at the door of the BBC knocking on it right and they're treating us like freaks you're pushing past all those women who are like you belested

my child shut up cunt I'm here on real man business. Step aside. Yeah. Yeah, we're being fucking badly treated by the BBC. And look, people have this like notion of like, hey,

don't worry, guys. Doctor Who's going to come back. They're living in fantasy worlds. Like, yeah, the Duffer brothers probably bring it back. You know, and then we'll get like... Conformity gate. Oh, no, no, none of that. Okay. It's going to get... They'll probably get like

Brett Gelman's new Doctor Who. Yeah. Someone we all How would you feel about that? I'll take I'm going to stage. Okay, right, okay. He can kill as many Daleks or Palestinians as he wants. Yeah, so the point is, because there's no actual confirmation, then the sun in all these papers can report all this gossip.

It's a vacuum, you know, and the sun, I used to love the sun, all right? You know, and now I know how the people in Hillsborough, you know, all that kind of fact. The way, the lies, the damage the community. you're showing up to Hillsborough memorials I know yeah it's a disgrace isn't it who the fuck's that lad there why the fuck's he dressed like a fucking

Dalic I know yeah we shall not we shall not be moved yeah fucking hell yeah so basically my point is

doctor who update is that there's no update and people are starting to get a bit twitchy and I don't know what's happening no one seems no what happening I mean like they could conceivably if to start filming in like, I'm trying to think it's late to go. I think there's been previous Christmas

special I think they started filming in like maybe early September, but it'd have to be very quick turn around. Yeah. And now does the straight of Hermus come into play here? I'm not even joking. It does. Yes, of course. Because everything's getting more expensive. Think about even just

like flights and stuff. Yeah. Like, I've been reading about the new Baywatch because if there's no Doctor Who and he's something to be watching right? Yeah. So Baywatch is the It's basically the same show. And they're talking about, they're filming on the same beach as the old Baywatch, right?

But the cost difference is astronomical. Even just the price of driving to the fucking set every day and the fucking parking and all that. Sending in the execution squad to kill all the hobos that are, you know, shooting up fentanyl and jacking off on the beach. Exactly.

You know what way, like all the hot women they have on Baywatch, right? Yes. If they gain a certain amount of weight, they have to put down like dogs. Well, that's Hollywood, you know? It's just like... It's show business, not friend business.

Not killing women business. Yeah, yeah. Gotta keep those bods nice and tight for daddy. Now, is, what's his name, Hasselhoff? Is he coming back? He might make a cameo on Zoom. Okay. They better not poke fun at them for being an old goofball.

He's still sexy and all the Danes want to go steady with them, you know? Stephen Amstil is the new kind of lead man of the show. Simon Amstil? That's it, yeah. Interesting choice, but I like it, you know. He brings a new energy to the show. He's running along.

Oh, gosh, I really hope it's had a dear tick. Lyme diseases on the rise. I like that, a little bit of British, gay, Jewish neuroses. That's what Baywatch was always missing, my opinion. It's Baywatch is going to be all British comedy stars, you know.

Johnny Vegas. Vegas would be on it, of course. He's the sex appeal to show. He's the Pamela Anderson of the new generation, all right? Same cup size. Noel feeling there with all the young ones, all right. Russell Brand will be there as well, you know, for the really young ones. Yes, yes.

And who else there? Rich Fultzner. Good. Richard Ayawadi? Yeah, the guy from one foot in the grave, he'd be there. I don't believe it. Anyway, what are we talking about here? what happened to Patreon. I got too silly.

It's the heat. There's a heat wave and we've gone mental. You have maybe, yeah. Okay. I've been keeping it on the level. Have you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've watching the Fat Slags movie. Good. Well, that's... And I tried to show you last night, just the people

peek behind the curtain. So I rocked up here and our roommates left. Yeah. They're never coming back. They left just a case of beer, which I've drank most of. Yeah, you did a lot of it. Well... I was like we can share it and you started growling at me. I offered you one and you were like, no, please.

It's very fattening. I can't have more than two beers a week. I'd be an alcohol then, you know? Dude, you leave me here with a case of beer. What's going to happen? You know what's going to happen. It's my own fault, yeah. It's like we leave a child with a knife.

Okay. You ever do that? No. Oh, well, don't. Never been in the position. No one's ever trusted me with a knife. Or a child. No, see, I was going to say, it's funnier to say no one's trusted me with a knife and then it's left unsaid to child, you know.

That would have been more amusing. But anyway, good for you for ruining that. Good for you for ruining everything, Brian, once again. It's a little habit of yours, isn't it? I drank all the beer. I'm sorry. I had an ice cream, so we're both gluttons. Yeah, I'm going to have an ice cream now too.

Oh, really? Nah. I was going to buy an ice cream. cream you're like don't bother no one gives a fuck about me just find some dog shit put it on a stick shove it in my mouth

when I'm sleeping that's all I deserve fucking cunt I had a bit about I don't have a heat thing okay but I got a bit dizzy in the shop I think it is

because we're just lying around here talking and then you just immediately go out into the real world and it's so hot you're like what the heck I leaned on the what do you call

the ice box with all the ice cream the ice cream box. The fridge. It's like a coffin but for ice cream. Ah, the ice cream coffin. The ice cream sarcophagus.

I'll get in. I'm like a pharaoh. I leaned on it, but I forgot there's wheels on it. So it kind of moved a little bit, not too much, okay? But these are like, oh, I'm not nearly died.

I'm going to sue this establishment. Thankfully, you know the young one that works over there? Yes. She wasn't there, thank God. It was the older Spanish man. Ah, yeah, the one who's always like, Have a good day! Don't tell me what to do, asshole.

Well, it's, because I've opened the door for him a little bit, because I was like, oh, yeah, you know, working hard, hardly working, yeah, yeah. And he saw, I kind of lied a bit, because I wear my Teelings hat. Oh, right. And he was like, I like, I like, yeah, I work for these guys. He didn't want to be like, yeah, I used to work for him, but had a kind of a nervous breakdown. I still show up to the Christmas party every year But they never let me in you know

It's all politics right They're intimidated by me So I was like yeah I worked there and now he's always like how is the whiskey yes? Yeah, you're living alive yeah and I have to keep lying yeah, I just got promoted yeah VP of sales Take out an overdraft in the bag just to rent out of Mercedes Benz for a day all right, but what, this old banger gets me from A to B, you know how it is?

I dropped my second Rolex, so. Yeah, yeah. Now, what happens if someday you're in there and an old colleague from Chilin's comes to work walking in? You'll have to kill them. I think I would have, yeah. Add yourself.

I've already got some chloro for him just in case. Yeah, of course. I call for myself. Yeah, yeah. To escape the situation. But yeah, but I tell you what, speaking of that older guy, I was there in the shop one time,

all right and um it was this woman and then he was talking to her he's like oh yeah i saw your son on ticot oh yeah yeah he did yeah yeah he was very good video hmm it's a odd to comment on you i think so yeah or is it odder i was like what video where is it show me it now i want to see it is he scantily dressed oh macarena hey macarena I'll do the macarena for you, love. Ah, yes. What are we talking about here? No, I'm just getting stuff off my chest.

Okay. This is my therapy. This is? Yeah. I should start charging you then. I mean, you get Patreon money eventually. Oh yes. The little crumbs from the table, yeah.

You make me beg. Come with my beggars cup every month. I do feel bad. I'm like, okay, here's the Patreon money, and then here's the electricity. the build, it's much higher than the Patreon money. Yeah. Yeah. So can you give it back now with interest?

It's kind of like, here's your chemotherapy, but also smoke this entire carton of cigarettes. Go. Yeah. Well, you know, these are the tough times, you know? We'll look back and we'll look back and laugh. Apparently, it's all going to get worse, though. That's what I'm hearing. Oh, literally, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I've been trying to be nice to you, but like, it's going to be so much work. If it's a straight for moves and all that and with the instability, like literally, as we record, the last episode, I got a text from Electric Ireland and they were like your electricity bill has been way too low. Yeah. You like, we need to raise it. I was like, how much?

You're like, you fucking, you don't even do. You couldn't even understand how much. You even know what numbers are, you troglodyte. Do you understand what four percent means? No, it sounds scary. Fantastic 4%. Sure. Yeah.

Okay. So, I don't know, I might change our electricity provider. Oh, I don't know. This guy on the street says he can give me good electricity. For cheap? Yeah, real cheap. Yeah, right. He'd keep it in a matchbox.

Is that right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. And if we give him 500 euro. And let him shower here once a week. Well, the shower is broken. That's true, it is. Yeah.

Our roommates broke the shower. Nice sort of leaving gift. Well, is it broken doors? Just the head come off. The head come off. You can still shower. Yeah, but. But I'm, you know, washing myself basically with a hose.

I feel like white trash. A rag on a stick. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, I want to... You know, look, it's very phallic, isn't it? The pipe and when it's expung... You know, all that fluids leaking out, your natural inclination is to stick it up your ass.

Well, also, it's not even your fault. It's like a bidet. Because what if you're washing yourself at a stick, all right? And he slip and he goes up your ass. Yeah. And, you know... And then you're like, oh, no. Yeah.

What a terrible series of unfortunate... events. Oh, it's all gone liminey stick it in the gaff. Well, maybe I'll remove it in an hour's time. Yeah. Well, look, we're having fun here, but let's move on to some movies I've watched.

I haven't watched too much, being busy. But I have, and I'll be honest, I didn't give these movies my full attention. What I do is I put these movies on late at night and they're kind of like drifting out of consciousness. Yeah. That's what Iepard did towards the end. Yeah, really his choice, though.

was really late. His jaw fell off. That's how lazy he was. Slack jawed, Yonkel. Yeah. But I have watched some movies. I have watched Michael. Oh, what? Yeah. The Michael Jackson Biopic? Exactly, yeah. Right. How was that?

I watched the cam version. It was great. You get to hear all the cheering and stuff. Right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So boring. Really? Really boring. I genuinely like the fat slags movie more than Michael. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. I think the Fat Slags movie has more artistic integrity and less evil. Hoo! Here we go. Yeah, I said it, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, take that Miles Tether. Yeah, I would fucking watch his name, be brave enough to say that. What's that Skiffle con called?

Carmode. Yeah, yeah. Couldn't think of him there. But anyway. People did not like the Michael movie. It made so much money, though. Okay. And I said this before in a podcast, we just to remind people. again so they shot a movie called Michael which was his full story the whole life of Mike

alright yeah and they had to remove huge chunks of it okay because basically it was running into legal problems because they had these little boys being like yeah let's lie about getting molested oh crocky I'll tell them that he touched me nob yeah he moon walked right into my bedroom and did me up the Bavo! For money. We love lying about people for money. And then this was considered kind of legally dubious.

Okay. Yeah, so that did cut that. And then they're like, fuck it. We're just going to do Michael from Bert to Bad. Okay. Yeah. So, and then part two will cover that. So they're doing a part two.

Yes. Because this movie made, like, things like, I don't know. It made some money. I think it did well I mean they probably made that I'd say probably 500 euro Like compared to what The box office returns of most movies

Are these days I think this one Performed higher than Yeah because people love paedophiles Well I think they love Despite what you say All right people love To support paedophilia

Okay All right And I'm not saying I agree with it right Oh you're not It's just interesting They're smiling Because you're watching Law & Order like

Oh I don't like that yeah you sick fuck yeah I'm gonna teach you a lesson well finally his shoes and you their foot so Michael is very basic it's like

it's you know it's walk hard you know it's like that without the jokes it's fucking bohemian rhapsody it's by the same I believe same producer's behemian rhapsody and also the whole thing

is overlooked by a guy called he can't name John Banka you ever John Banka I haven't Well, he is somehow now the sole executor of the Michael Jackson estate. Really? So he runs the whole show.

Okay. He's Miles Teller. Oh, I see, right. So he was like, who's going to play me? Who's going to play me? Miles Teller seems like he'll have to, obviously he's not as good luck as me, but he'll try his best. Yeah, yeah. So he's kind of like, is he the only big name in the movie?

Miles Teller. Sorry, Dion Cole. Well, hey, oh, uh, egg on my face. Don't I feel quite the buffoon? You're going to feel not groovy, baby, because one of the producers in the movie now is Mike Myers. Really? Yeah. Again.

Just like Bohemian Robson. Literally again, yeah. Wow. No, no why he's done it. He's just, it's not a not-en-roll. This shows up. It's like, hey, you can't play it on MTV. We want to.

All right, you convinced me. You're going to put on MTV. That's it. Now, what about, do they go into, like, the abusive childhood? Wouldn't that be very interesting? Joe Jackson, cutting a switch and beating him silly? You know what? He was abusive because he loved them too much.

Okay. He just gave them loads of hugs and kisses and ice cream. Right. And lollipops. Yeah. And they betrayed him by saying that he beat the 11 shit out of them. So, I will say, at the start of the film, they do the childhood, you know, the Jackson 5 and all that. And they have Joe Jackson be a little mean.

Yeah. But he doesn't like slap him or anything. Hey, clean up your room, you bums. He was awful. He was a monster. I just couldn't leave in that house. He was a tyrannical fascist. Oh, my God, I was afraid for my life. Yeah, he's like, can you clean the plates off dinner?

And then they like run, you know. I couldn't live there anymore. It's a, it's, um, Coleman Domingo. He's good. Yeah, yeah. It's good actor. So, and then we just immediately in like the space of like, 15 minutes. It's like

Jackson 5, hey, we're popular now. Hey, I'm solo. Hey, I'm rich. And now it's... Hey, I'm white. No, we don't get to that. Oh, okay. And it's Jafar. Is that his name? Jafar. That's the cousin, I believe, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. So it's just him, and he's like,

it's like, there's nothing going on. It's just like, oh, I'm really popular now. Oh, I'm making lots of money. And, uh, you know, he doesn't like his dad because his dad's mean to him. so he gets Miles Teller to fire him Right, okay And Miles Taylor just fires him

And dad's like, oh, all right I accept you Because I love you son, more than money Well, I'm gonna manage Tito He's gonna be way bigger than you, Michael Come on, Tito, do the weird Gay Backward Dance thing I don't know how to, Dad

You fucking idiot, fuck! No, I am exaggerating. All right, Janet, get over here Let Justin Timberlake whip your titty at the Super Bowl. That'll make some money. I am exaggerating a little bit. So, like, they do portray him as someone who cares about money, Joe Jackson.

And he is a bit upset. And they have the mother say, you can't beat him now. He's grown. Right. But they don't actually show beating. Okay. So it feels like, um, it's the type of film where, like, showing any kind of physical violence at all, they were like, that's too much.

Yeah. We want to make this as bland as possible. It's just incredibly sad. sanitized. Yeah, yeah. Basically then, Joe Jackson goes to Don King. Okay.

And they work together do the Pepsi commercial. Oh, this is where he gets his revenge. Man. This is the big third act, by the way. Right. Nothing happens, okay?

And the big kind of third act is just like, let's do the Pepsi commercial. Oh no, Michael's on fire. Now, I thought Michael got seriously fucked up from this. I thought his face. He did, though, did not? No, not really.

In the film, he kind of burns his hair. He's like, oh, no. No, but I think, though, in real life, he did get, like, third-degree burns. He did, yeah, but it's like, he's in the hospital for a little while. And then he just gets up. And he's like, oh, now that I've survived that, time to do bad. I'm going to just drink Coke from now. But I think in real life, again, this is a very sanitized version.

In real life, they say that's where his love of opiates began. Oh, that's not, no, he doesn't, no, he doesn't, do opiates. Well, okay, but in real life. I've seen the film. I know. Have you seen the film? Well, then you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Yeah. So on the night he died, he overdosed on gummy bears. That's what it was.

No, he was getting injected with propofal, which is literally, that's like general anesthetic. That's what they do to put you under during surgery. No, and this he has like an apple. And he feels grand afterwards. Just a bit of calcium from an apple. Do you get calcium? from an apple?

Oh. Calcium comes from milk. You probably get calcium from an apple, I guess. Well, I dip my apples in milk. Okay, well then, there you go. You're double dropping calcium. You got bones of steel. So, yeah, the big third act is literally,

he goes on fire, but he's grand, and then he does bad, that's it. Right. And I could not tell you what else happens in the film. Like, it's type of film where you get to see them doing Triller and for guys like us like, oh look, oh that's Max Landis's

dad, whoa! And then they film Triller and we get to see Triller again and then we get to see bad the whole performance. It's really nothing happens. Now how is his performance? Does he nail the dance

moves and stuff? Who cares? Well, it's pretty impressive choreography. Any old bum could do that. I mean, they offered it to me, you know, I was like, not arced. Well, I don't get to do the pino stuff. No fucking deal. I'm out of here.

No, I told him, I was like, I'm doing recording with James that day. Yeah. It's like, but it's a multi-million dollar film. It's like, no, James is, uh, time is more important. Did you offer him the role of Joe Jackson? Oh, that's the role I was born to play. Get over here, boy, you'll smitty little asshole. But yeah, you get Coleman Domingo, all right?

Great actor. Very good. He don't, give him that. Give him the whole like, you know, I'm going to beat you and all that. Yeah, yeah. He's just him be like, I'm fairly miffed about this. Yeah. You better work harder.

Is he still alive, Joe Jackson? No, no, right. He's long gone, yeah, yeah, yeah. All my hero's gone. What about Tiger Woods's dad? All the good dads out there. Yeah. That's what you need, man.

You need an abusive parent. I've been saying that for years. To create greatness. You know? That's how I am as good as I am. But I flipped it. I abused my parents. You know, I was like, get over here, asshole.

Over here, boy. You call this a chicken dinner. Splat it right in her face. Make it again. Yeah, man, it's such an uneventful film. You'd be so bored watching it. And maybe in the cinema, you'd be, like, swept away, like, oh, look, it's just like Triller. Whoa.

Also, I heard that it's AI assisted. his performance. I don't want to be that kind of guy who like falls for it. You know like an old granny who's like oh my guys

he does a video of a dog working in Starbucks and it's fake completely you know well do you know that for a fact? I suppose yeah

I suppose you're right yeah anyway but yeah I was so bored by you I actually enjoyed Devil Wales Prada too more

because it's actually an attempt to do something in it no I remember seen the first Devil Worth Prada well if you're going to watch it online, be careful, because I accidentally turned on to something called Devil Wears Nada.

Oh. And it was weird. It was kind of like Devil Wears Prada, but it was like much cheaper production. Okay. And all the actresses in it, all their clothes fell off. Okay. And they didn't seem to really care about putting their clothes back on. That doesn't sound like what you, in the fashion world.

It's all about the clothes, isn't it? Exactly. Yeah, they seem to care more about wrestling with each other. Oh, okay. And for a long time. Well, they're all screaming about scissors. Let's scissor each other's like, well, yes, you need scissors to cut the fabric of the garment.

That makes sense. Wait, what are you two doing there? Hang on now. Your legs are intertwined. They're stuck. Their pussies were stuck together like two dogs. Like cat dog, you know, yeah. I come about crowbar try to get,

I'll save you, ladies, don't worry. She watched the porn parody Devil Wars Nata? I don't think it's a porn parody per se It's just a film with a lot of sex in it Okay And very little regard for any kind of Resolution

Right So they start off and she works in a Porn Magazine Okay And they start having sex Right And they don't go back to the sales

Element of the magazine If they're going to get their Reach their targets If she's going to get the big promotion It's mostly about jizz on the face Okay Well, I don't remember that from Zoolander, but all right. And then the tonal whiplash then go to Devil Wears Prada too,

because I'm now acclimatized, I assume it's going to be nudity in it, you know? Yeah, fucking Meryl Streep's going to be bumping tacos with Anna Hathway. Yeah, Robin Stanley Tucci's pussy. Uh-huh. He's in it, and Caleb Heron. Oh, really? Yeah, you get to see his pussy. Good.

And Rory McElroy. it's a all-star cast here now there's a double act that I need Caleb Heron and Rory McElroy man oh you'd be an odd couple imagine living together

it'd be kind of like us Is Caleb in it much Not enough He's very funny I do like him now yeah I'm surprised you like him He's not really your type What?

I type you'd be more like He's funny Oh okay I'd type you kind of like bullying him And stuff Why? He's very funny I like him a lot

You've changed Why would I not like him Why would I not like him? He used to be cool we'd be like, oh yes, Sam Tripoli's so awesome. I've never said those words in my entire life. Yo, why aren't we getting more Brian Callan specials? He filmed it in the mother shit, dude.

Oh, the snowflakes aren't ready for these. Get ready for some truth bodes. Have you watched any of Brian Callan's new special? Oh, I too much are you? Yeah, exactly, yeah. Oh, we'll wait a little allegation about Caleb Heron come out. I know some allegations about him. that he once broke into a bakery and ate all the pies.

That's like a recurring joke in his comment section. Oh, is it? Because he did a bit about he was trolled by someone who said that. See, I'm in with the Caleb Aaron fans. You're really part of the gang now. He's very funny. I like his stuff a lot, you know? Wow.

Yeah. Why wouldn't I like him, Brian? Come on now. Let's get it all out in the open. Why wouldn't I like him? Well, look, you enjoy. Because he's a homosexual. Is that what you're saying?

You enjoy Caleb Heron. I will. I will enjoy. each other. I've got my Brian Callan. Better watch out, Bob. Yeah, yeah. Fucking hell.

Yeah, apparently his last special Brian Callan didn't do very well. No, yeah. He was online, he was like, he feels sad and stuff. Yeah. And he's not selling tickets. No.

Although I did watch a video of kind of analyzing Brian Callan's... Oh, yeah, yeah. Which is a whole industry. Oh, there's a whole big thing. Like, yeah. Guess what had?

A new special dropped and it was total ass. And sometimes real clickbait, you know, it's just like, oh, watch this, Brian Callan. That's your attended clickbait, is it? Explains the popularity of this show then. Yeah, we got Brian, he's the SEO manager of the whole operation. He's running the show.

What's the word I was taking of? I don't know. Flayers out? That's not right. Uh-huh. he what do you call it when you go a bit like he completely like oh god let's just move along from this I think

you're just you know you just heard the fact that I like Caleb Heron and now your world's upside down yeah I don't know devil wears Prada too I need to speak more confidence as well okay yeah nice yeah

alright so devil where's Pratitude it is awesome all right just chicks with big tities there bro Anne Hathaway, Smoke Show. Yeah. She's my smoke show of the week. Woo, all right.

That's a new segment. No more Doctor Who update. Now it's just smoke shows. So this smoke show, Anne Hattaway, she's at an award show. In the last film, she was a fashion lady. Right. Now she's a journalist reporting the big stories, okay? She's kind of like Veronica Gierod.

Right. She's doing stories about Dublin ganglans and, um... Okay. The fashion industry In New York And how it's connected And all that All that, right

The Monk and all that All right So she's at an award show For fancy journalists And she's about to accept the award For Best Lady Or journalist, okay? Right

And then she gets a text They've all been laid off Ah Yeah, because they're owned by a big multinational company It's evil, all right? And these love firing people For no reason.

Sure. But we were making profit. We don't care. We just hate seeing women succeed. He, he, he, he, he. Okay, and they're bad. Wow. Leave that open to interpretation myself.

So she gets up there, right? And she's like, it's great to win this award. But guess what? We've all been fired. And you know what? This goes to show how journalism is under threat, and we need journalism now more than ever. Right.

And this video becomes viral. Of course it does. Because why wouldn't it? Exactly, yeah. It's the biggest thing on the internet. It's bigger than like fucking keyboard cat. Sick reference, bro. Yeah.

Holy shit. So at the same... What your kids know about keyboard cat? That's how we kicking it in the old days. Old school shit. That cat got me too. Yeah. Miao Toot.

Took me too long to say it. It wasn't very funny. The Cadden Special wasn't a good punchline and it took me too long to arrive at it. Yes, sir. And then you hate yourself afterwards. Trifecta. So at the same time, we meet our old friend, Meryl Streep. And she's, you know, top dog in the fashion world. Her assistant is Stanley Tucci.

and her new husband, Kenneth Brana. Oh, okay. He's like the put-upon, like, he's the woman in a relationship. Right. So she's like, yeah, the dog took a shit on the floor, clean it up, bitch. With your mouth. Okay, honey. Can I have some allowance for medicine?

Yeah. Yeah, dog medicine. That's all you deserve. And you identified with that character. Oh, here, the hero of the piece has emerged. He's an alpha. Yeah. he's dog shit

mocking when he's cleaning that dog shit he's mocking so he literally he just does what she says all right he's like a butler slash husband but a story gets leaked

to the press that Merrill Streep's fashion company or at least you know a subsidiary one that also works for her right

has been caught using sweatshop labor and this is a huge story because this has never happened before in the fashion industry of course that

never ever They go on the internet and she's being washed. What? She cooked. Yeah, yeah. She is chopped. Yeah. Literally, all the people online are like,

and they're probably like fashion people we don't know. Right. Like, oh my God, using slave labor, that is just not on. She is my ick of the week. Oh, you won't recover from that. Yeah. Like Charlene the gods like, I'm not fucking with white bitch no more. White bitch with big kitty.

Yeah, I'm fucking with them, babe. You got the switch shafts. Sweataps, that ain't cool, though. What's going on with that switch? And people make them jokes, you know, like, oh, she'd be sweating from this. Clowning on her. Exactly, yeah, yeah.

She doesn't need this, all right? So, the owner of basically whatever company, oh, Runway Magazine, that's it. She almost forgot their stupid fucking, fucking, so Runway Magazine. He decides, he needs a fresh pair of eyes, a new pair of hands to help steer the ship

at runway. Merrill Streep needs of help. So he hires the recently fired Anne Hathaway. Okay. And Hathaway, the former assistant of

Merle Street. So now there's a power dynamic. Oh, okay. Yeah, who's the real top bitch? Uh-huh. So they bring in Merrill Street, Anne Hathaway, and now there's friction between the two. Okay.

Who's really going to run the show? You know, it's like in the gang. Yeah. I imagine, you know? Who's the top dog in the fashion magazine? Anne Hathaway is just walking along and stabs her with a shave down toothbrush, you know? Phone check, homie, phone check. You know?

So it's their battle between them, okay? And the boss I mentioned, he's a big fat guy, all right? Okay. And his son is B.J. Novak. Oh. Now, can I say something, all right? So I was watching a cam of this. So obviously when Anne Hathaway showed up,

you hear all these, like, drunk women be like, whee-wee-wee. And then when Merrill Streep shows up, they're like, woo-wee. B.J. Novak, cough. Really? Yeah. Disgraceful.

They weren't screaming around anything. You know who you're... It's B.J. Novak. Yeah. He's one of the inglory's bastards, for God's sake. That's right. Show some fucking respect. Yeah.

Yeah. And he, basically, um, the long story shorter, right? The fat man, he died. and then BJ Novak has control the company and he wants to bring in all these different influencers and new people and he's looking at AI and stuff and it becomes basically a parable against AI

about how these women team up to defeat evil's technology and save print journalism forever wow good uh-huh and you know how to do it Lucy Lou? So Lucy Lou is a billionaire woman and they go to her to give us money

and then she buys out the company from B.J. Novak. Okay. And then the girls are like, sisters getting it done. Mm-hmm. And then they clink wine together. And what more do you need? Is that it?

Well, there's also Justin Taru. Okay. He's there. He plays Emily Blunt's new bow. All right. See, I never saw the first one. You can tell. Yeah.

I mean, not really. I don't think I'm in the, demographic you know I'm too busy watching my Caleb Heron videos you like asked the guy in the cinema can you just give me the time stamps when Caleb shows up yes I'll just go in and now so when he's not in I'm just going to be in the bathroom taking a big shite okay and I'll come in to watch Caleb won't pull me pants up though nah nah so Caleb he is the assistant of Anne Hathaway so he's like doing stuff for her right and he says some funny lines but he's underused yeah

I would have had it where all the women die straight away. And then Caleb Heron is the star of the show. Right. And then maybe there's a bank robber. Okay. Oh, yeah, God, okay. Caleb Heron is a purse that looks like a briefcase. Or maybe he's got a briefcase.

And the bank robber has got the same type of briefcase. And they're at the bus station, right? and Caleb Heron picks up the wrong Are you following me? You look a bit lost. And now Caleb Heron's Why were either of them at the bus station? Oh, where else would he go?

Brunch then. Okay. At the brunch station. At the Aleph Garden. And then he's got a big suitcase full of money, right? Right, okay. And then he's been chased by robbers.

That's your spec script for Devil Wars products. three. I'm working on it. Yeah. Okay. It's not perfect, but at least I'm trying something, right? Sure. Yeah. It's easy to throw stones as someone. Am I, I'm not throwing stones? No, your eyes, you are. Okay. No, you do this thing as like, I'm not throwing stones, you know? But then you be like,

yeah, I think it's great. I think everyone else thinks of shit, though, but... And they're all talking about it, you know? You know that feeling that you get when you walk into the room and everyone stops talking and you're thinking, are they laughing at my spec script for Devil Wars Prada? Yeah, they are. Never forget it.

I'm sorry, I really just have no connection to the universe of Deverel Wars Prada. I don't care. Well, do you want to watch something, tell you what? We'll talk with something you have seen, Ladies First. This be a real test for you, okay? Okay. So it's a new Netflix movie, Ladies First, with Sasha Barrow Cohen. Yeah.

And Roseman Pike, they're the two big stars, all right? And it's a pretty high concept comedy film where there's a guy who's meant to be sexist although in the film he's not sex as enough. It's not a big of contrast. Oh, really? You didn't think? No, but I just mean for comedic purposes, you know. So it starts off.

So he's a rich guy. He works for some advertising company run by Charles Dance, Sasha Berncoen. And he's got a big mansion. He wakes up at his mansion as a girl there, okay? And I talk, because I kind of knew the premise. He'd be like, get the fuck out of me,

would you, oh, you fucking stink what? You fucking, you farting, you, way. Who do you think you are? My wife. That would have been a nice little Easter egg. Yeah, that would be for us, you know,

no one else would get that. No, no. I mean, you stand up in cinema, be like, oh, my wife. Very nice. Is it because I is black? Yeah. Yes, okay,

I should think, what does Bruno say? I love caught. I don't know. I say that anyway. Yeah. So, tell you what I'm going to do, actually. I think I've copped on something.

I have the wires under my feet. I think that's caused a little... Because I was noticing lately there's been a bit of disturbance. Oh, really? On the mic, yeah. I think it's because I'm tapping my feet on the cord. Okay.

Because I get too excited. Wrapping it around my cock, you know? Man. Choking it. So he... But, yeah, my point is okay. He's, like, pretty decent to her. He's just like, you know, okay, I've hired you a taxi, okay? There's breakfast there.

Here's some brettments. Goodbye. Okay. Yeah, which is not, he's not like, you got six minutes to get out with me fucking gaff or you're going to meet Mr. Crowbar. Oh, I can't. I'll just watch the boys and you're like wanting the soups.

Yeah. But no, he's just like, okay, well, you got to get out eventually. I think it's... It's that sexist, isn't it? It's that he's a womanizer, you know, I think. What's wrong with that? Women don't like being a, you know, a treat of just... A notch on the bedpost?

Exactly, yeah, yeah. Well, guess what? We don't care. And they love it. I don't even have a bedpost. I don't think I do. Nah, no one does. Yeah, bedposts, it's not like...

It's not Victoria and London, you know? Yeah, exactly, yeah. I don't have a bed, really. He's got, like, cardboard box. You're notching the cardboard box, love. That, right. And then he's like, wait, Charles Dan said the big fancy meeting

and said, oh yeah, we're going to get some models in. I want to be around to see that. Or I want to see their assets. Ah, that kind of stuff. Meads are muff. Yeah. Doesn't it? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Now, you'll be one of the guys, you know. Oh, I know it. But, like, so but then they're like, oh, sorry guys, but they're on to us, you know, the HR people. We've got to hire a woman. Oh, woman. Okay, I'm just going to hire

he can call us his receptionist Name a woman who works for me Roseman Pike Yeah, I'll just promote her Yeah, gone girl, get her in here So he comes in the office next day and he's like Okay, you're going to be next

Whatever, I don't give a fuck Let's do the meeting Then the meeting is for Basically Lady Guinness Yes So Guinness, I'm surprised The Azure agreed here But Guinness want to create a new Guinness

for ladies, all right? And of course, all the guys there, the kind of James Cadden's, like, yo, let's have, like, ladies have tiddies, all right? So what about a Guinness can in the shape of tits? Yeah, or a big cock, yeah, yeah.

What about pink Guinness with pictures of fairies on it? Yeah, that's what women like. And the woman there, Rose and Pikes, like, actually, I think, who said that? Why is the fucking cleaning lady chiming in?

I left a big shite in the bog, love. Go on. Get your elbows in. So she feels underheard. Right. Which, by the way, what would you, what would be your idea for Lady Guinness? Um,

okay, it's a Guinness that you can drink at home while I'm in the pub. How about that? Lady Guinness. Yeah. The slogan is, Lady Guinness. Don't fucking annoy me. Yeah, Cadd's back.

Too hot for TV. You and Jim Davidson doing Edinburgh this year. Jim's like, you gotta tone it down, Cadden. You've gone woke, pal. You liberal cook. I got daughters. You can't be saying that, James. Oh, you got daughters.

Oh, is your bath time already? Where Uncle Gaddening, oh, here's your little rubber duckie love. Come on. Yeah, that's me, is it? That's me in this world you've created. Oh, great. Well, you're just an exam.

example, right? You can't help yourself. You can't because you're a part of the worldwide, what do you call it? Patriarchy. That's it, yeah. So you're a part of patriarchy. You don't even realize how sexist you are. Okay. Like Sacha Berg-Cohen. Right. But then he leaves the offices, probably go touch the woman's arse or something. Sure. You know what men are like. And then he hits his head off a lamp post and when he wakes up, he's in a world where instead of the patriarchy, it's the matriarchy. And Women control everything. Okay. So it's like a female pope. Right. And in, like, it's regular in this world, they have the woman on the couch drinking a beer, okay? You know, scratching herself and farting.

And it's the men like Gus are in the kitchen. Where does she fart from? Her asshole. Oh, okay. Oh, maybe she'd queef as well. Is that what you want to? Yeah. And the men are in there, like, cooking the dinner,

like, oh, it's almost ready, honey. fucking hurry up with that, James. I'm fucking starving. I'm trying my best. My psychologist says I'm having a borderline personality disorder. I want red meat, none that rabbit food. But it's unhealthy for you.

Think of your arteries, my dear. Yeah, so that's the world that Sashburn called me. How about some fartries? She farts in my face. And I just have to take it. And I'm not going to take it anymore. Yeah. So there's things like, instead of Burger King, it's Burger Queen.

Yeah. And what are some other examples? They make some joke about, like, in the Middle East, they're just allowed male drivers. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, you wear, sort of a push-up bra. You wear, like, a thing that pushed up your balls. That doesn't make sense, because you can't really see your balls.

No, in this world. Okay. But in, oh, you've stumbled into, wow, look at you. Because, I don't know. Oh, you got. me there defeated by logic once again oh boy

in this world men have to show off their balls to get jobs and stuff to be respected but not too much that's the kind of world that men live in now so if you want to be promoted in the office you gotta like show off your balls a little bit work out okay you know work on yourself wear makeup right but if you wear too much makeup

and push your balls out too much you're considered a male slut right yeah oh look at the town bike James Cadden Everyone's had to go. Yeah. He's like the Macarena. Everyone did a party in the 90s.

Oh, please. I'm a person. I deserve respect. They used to laugh along with the girls. Yeah, yeah, good one. Yeah. And in the batch, you're like, don't let him get cheap. Because that's, that's my internalized misandry.

Is not it that it is, Missandry? I wouldn't fucking know. That's like, uh... It sounds like a puff. He says as he guzzles his straw. flavored water? It's actually watermelon and

peach water. Oh, wow. I asked a guy in the shop, is it too strong, is it? I don't want to have a hangover

tomorrow. I need to read some comic books and I don't want to be all fuzzy-headed for that. So I do, I tell you what,

you didn't like the film, did you? No. I was pleasantly charmed by it. No, you weren't. I mean, I didn't love it or anything.

I didn't like it. But I thought it's a high concept idea. They're doing something with it. Don't really have enough jokes to fill out the time. It felt very tedious. But

I kind of appreciate what they're trying to do. I definitely would have done it differently. There's only so many times you're like, oh, instead of Vivian Westwood, it's Larry Westwood. Okay. Or Victor Westwood? Oh, yeah.

Yep. There you go. Well, I'm not a screenwriter, are you? Okay. You never will be? Yeah. But this type of, that's what you're bringing to the table.

Oh, like, I, I didn't like it personally. I just felt it was kind of, it's one long joke that's just dragged out for way too long. And then how does it end again? He like,

well, just to go back. In fairness, when we were watching it, quote on quote, you were skipping through a lot of it. So I don't really, I don't remember that.

Yeah, you were. It doesn't sound like me. Okay. And then, like, you skip forward half and and then like something happens where he's going back to his world's like no I'm not ready to go back

but we don't really know what happened that he you know felt like he enjoyed this world now well I think he started to fall in love with Rosman Pike okay and to get back to the plot when she was slapping him around and he loved it yeah so okay he meets Ashrafaron Cohen meets Richard E. Grant who's also aware that he's in the wrong universe and he's like Richard Grant's kind of like his spirit guide in a way. He's like, the only way to get out of this world is the rise of the top. To basically kind of fight back against the matriarchy. So he decides he's going to get to the top.

And by doing that, he's going to have to look good, charm of right people, maybe have sex with certain people, you know. And basically, you know, climb to a nail to the top of the ladder, right? Up that greasy pole. Yeah, yeah. And Roseman Pike is the main competition. But from doing this, he learns a lesson. because he finds out Rosamne Pike's actually a human being, not just a woman.

And he decides to let her run the company instead. And that act of selfless, self, selflessness? Yep. Okay, yeah. God, I need to be more confident. You know what always happens? I say the right word. I lose it then.

Yeah. Always happens. That's true, actually. Yeah, idiot. It's because of you, okay? Me? Yeah, you've built in this kind of inferiority complex I have. We're even down, like inferiority complex, complex.

Compluque. Yeah, before you met me, you were the big dick swinging around town. Yeah, it was, yeah. Yeah. A deep voice saying Matt Berry. Oh, hello there. Mr. Catton, maybe we could do it podcast.

Yes. We say humorous things into microphones. So he has to go on a corporate retreat with Rosemann Pike to win over the boss. Okay. And happens then. I don't know. No.

Again, you were skipping through a lot of it. I was also on my phone. I was listening to a podcast. You weren't in the room for most of it. I was outside the window. Brian, do I have to keep watching this? Yes. You don't think you're getting an x-ray.

I put you in here with the film. I go behind the wall, like a lead shirt. You're in a hazmat suit. I don't want to catch cooties off this film. So basically, the point is he goes back to the... I was there he said the Good World. Do you got catch yourself as well? Yeah.

He goes back to the male controlled world. He's like, oh, I've learned so much here. I'm still going to give Roseman Pike the position. Right. But treat her like an actual colleague, right? But just her. I'm not doing it for all of them. Yeah, exactly.

That drives myself mental. I'll treat one of them like a person. The rest will stay like the vermin they are. The end. You're there clapping. So she's saying, what's the problem, baby? What's the problem matter? Now where maybe I'm in love as the credits roll, you know?

Yeah, so then they kind of, so he fell in love with her in one world, and back in the male control world, you should remember this. But she starts to fall for his charm, and we hope that this leads to a long-lasting romance. Well, now he's back in the real world. You can go here, Love. I'm your boss. So nosh me off. where you'll be homeless.

The end. So you're saying, what's a problem, baby? Exidentally in love. Yeah. Perfect. Beautiful.

Well, I thought it was shite. Give it the Pandoor door. And so did the Guardian. The Guardian let me down there. Because I was like, no, James, this is great. Look, I bet the Guardian agrees with me. What does say? That doesn't matter.

The Guardian Review. Anyone who likes this is a fucking nuns. Oh no. The perfect film for a shirt lifter. Oh, they got me. Well, how am I supposed to change my shirt if I don't lift it? It's ridiculous. What kind of is absurd?

Or is this supposed to let disintegrate? What were you at time-wise? Oh. Oh, wow. Can you believe that? It's nearly an hour already. Oh, my goodness, yeah. Yeah, it just flies by.

Yeah, yeah. I think I got a little bit more relaxed this episode, but I'm still pretty dizzy. Yeah. Like, as soon as we stop recording, I'll probably just, like, lie in the corner for a while. You know, the nice cold floor. You're wearing a jacket.

Why do you not take off your jacket? I got no shirt underneath. Oh. And I've got no socks either. Oh. Yeah. Why do you dress like a Polish rent boy? What's going on here?

They're dressed way better to me. Okay. You're taking style. From the Polish rent boys. You're never gonna get any cock like that, bro. Let me tell you. Because it's too hot. Yeah.

It's too hot to wear socks. You're on a t-shirt and not a jacket. Oh, but... Look at me here. I got my Hawaiian shirt, you know? Yeah, you're living up, yeah. I'm not suited for the heat. Like, I'm like, it's too hot.

I better eat burritos and coffee. Give me some chili, please. Chili! Hot chili. Texas. Yeah. Great stuff. Oh, before we go real quick,

I was going to talk about more, but I mean watching my hero. Right. And it's going to let me down. That may be explain your dizzy spells, you know? You're like, you're re- Where's Ardle-Haldon? Watching it's like, but wait, it's, it's, it's not good? No, what?

No, what? No! Yeah. Ruin your childhood. Man, I used to love my hero. Really? I was a kid, yeah? That's embarrassing.

No, it's not embarrassing at all. What age were you? Uh, 28. Just a boy Just a boy A young naive boy I was unaware Of the cruel nature

Of the world I remember he was dark Like you know Do do Duh do And I'll be like Woo I start dancing

Oh Daddy it's Turmoman Woo I start to like hump in the air I get too excited Right right Which we watch

Love Island Not Love Island Sorry, Blind Date. Oh, yes. We're watching old Blind Date episodes from the 90s. And there's a weird guy that was just hump in the air.

Yeah. And he got the chick. Yeah. And Silla was like, yeah, it's lovely, yeah. All right, Chuck. It's lovely. Oh, I'd love to nush you off, darling. Imagine her gushing you off.

Big buck teeth wrapped against your foreskin. Horrible. You really paint a picture there. Well, you know, I'm, you know. Audio's your medium. But yeah, I was just, finish up. So I used to love my

hero and I was like so invested in it. every episode was like, oh my God, what's going to happen? Ardell's going to die. But then in season six, they replaced Ardlo Hanlon. Ardo Hanlon betrayed the fans. He basically treated us like shit. Just like how he betrayed Graham Linnon.

Yeah. Oh, he's a viper. He can't be trusted. Yeah. Yeah, so like, he left the show and he got replaced by James Dreyfus. Wow. And it's like, we're all supposed to just move on with our lives and just accept this. Yeah.

And you had a harder time accepted the fact that he was married to a woman than he was a superhero, you know? Some things are, you just can't suspend your disbelief. Because he's meant to be the same character. He's like, hey, I lost my head in an intergalactic poker game. But it's still me, honey. Come on.

Let's have some sex. Oh, yeah. Let's make whoopee, my dear. And yeah, it wasn't as good. But then, but you didn't give a chance. because I put it on a telly. Yeah. And you were just like, oh, shit.

Well. You only watch five episodes. It wasn't, wasn't great. I'm sorry to say. Didn't really, come on, Brian. I think. Down your guard. You have to admit that it doesn't hold up.

Never. I'm not, I'm see through the Matrix. Not fall over this. Okay. Right. Well, every episode is available online and it's all 240 pixels. Yeah. Very blurry.

Pretty blurry. Yeah. That's probably why you didn't find a fun. Maybe that's what it was, yes. Yeah, we'll tell you, we didn't actually talk about fat slags. We won't talk with that next week, maybe, yeah, the fat story.

Is there really much to say? They're fat and your slags. There you go. Mobland, I know what? You love mobland, don't you? I watched it. I thought it was all right. Tom Hardy left.

Well, he got fired. Yeah, the rumor is he wouldn't leave his trailer. He's very difficult to work with. No, that's Israeli propaganda. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I should have known. You know Helen Mirren?

Oh, yeah. She's a massive Zionist. Is that right, yeah? Yeah, she was like, I had a great time in Israel. I saw they were kicking the shit out of some brown fella. I thought it was beautiful. Give him one for me, boys. National treasure.

I would have done that back in my younger days, but my knees aren't what they were. But they did hold them down and let me spit on him. So that was jolly good fun, I must say. Yeah. The thing about Mobland is, her character and Pierce Broson character are so ridiculous and over the top they're like,

ah, but Jesus, Mary, sure I'm going to murder them all like they're in the fields of Attenry, I tell you, you know, they're like cartoon characters. Yeah, Jesus, what? Paul Meskell, what? Then Tom Hardy comes, it's like,

eh, eh, he just grunts, you know. He doesn't have any lines, just like, eh, uh, and then he punches someone. Like a fucking gorilla. And then Paddy Concedain got raped in prison. In the show?

Yeah. Oh, right, okay. In the show, in the show, yeah. Oh, and the boys end as well. Oh. I'll spoil it because it's the end of the show. Right. End of the episode in the show, right?

So, you're Frenchie? Yeah. He's an IDF soldier in real life. Awesome. Yeah, he was like talking all these cool stories. Like, yeah, dude, it was awesome. Yeah, we held this, you know, like, bong hits. Yeah.

Yeah, well, we held a Palestinian, you know, upside down. We turned it into a bong. Nice. Then old Helen Merrin comes in and she just rips an absolute binger man, yeah. She was off her face. But he dies in the penultimate episode, killed by Homelander.

Okay. Not in like a gory way or anything. He's kind of gets like pushed over. Right. And then in the final episode, they have a drug that can take away Homlanders' powers. Right. And just let you know, there's a big leak going around on TikTok.

I have a guy who allegedly worked on the VFX of the boys. And he was like, guys, all right. The last episode of the boys, it's going to be insane. All right? Like, I've seen it. Like, I signed NDA, so I can't tell you who I am. Okay, but it's going to be insane. We're talking like next level special effects that makes Avengers

looks like a some show on PBS, all right? Yeah, yeah. So apparently, I heard, okay, in the final episode, like, fucking homelander, just goes fucking crazy, all right? and he just blows up everyone the whole world and then all the superheroes try to fight him, okay? And he's like, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, yeah. And then all the superheroes, he kills them all, like, okay?

But then the boys are there, and then, you know, butchers, like, you fucking can't. And then he gives himself superpowers, and they're fighting, puk, puk, puch, okay? And it's like, bough, okay, yeah? And then, uh, he finally start smashing his fucking head in, all right? And then, um, he dies, but then, um, he dies, but then he dies, Superman shows up and then

you know James Bond's like shaking not stirred or I can't I'm attempting re-entry cut like this whole big thing all right

and reality what to do it's pretty what is that oh I thought I heard the noise okay who's that can't it's the world outside

happening make it go away yeah I wish I could I wish I could so in reality in there in the White House okay and they released this virus or gas

that kicks with his powers and then Butcher's like I got you now, can't and then just kills him and then he's like I'm going to kill all the superheroes now can't and it's like you can't do that some of them are good I don't care can't

and then Huey shoots him and he's like oh you got me good can't well maybe I did go a little off the boil Can I just say, Mr. Butcher, I don't care for your foul language. There, I said it. I won't swear again, can't. And we all cheer.

Yeah, go, go meet your maker. See how far you get calling him. I'll see you next Tuesday. See you in heaven. Yeah. And then he dies. And then Huey goes, oh, I didn't mention, by the way, to do a really stupid thing where, what's the other little girl in that?

what's what you should call like a meiko or something oh yeah yeah meiko yeah so at one stage I think she has to like she's trying to something stupid was trying to unleash the special gas they'll take away his powers but she can't reach it but then she sees a vision of Frenchie and French he's like

the only thing more important than violence is love especially my love of kicking the shit out of a Palestinian mother while his con child is crying that's that is pure love

me amour. And can I tell you what happens in the comics, by the way? So that's how it ends. It's all right. It ends with Starlight and Huey going off and they're like, the end. And they've a kid, they named a kid Robin. Why?

Because Robin was the girl from the first episode who got killed. Well, that's weird. Why? Imagine, see, you're there with your missus. And she has a kid. It's like, I want to name her after the first girl that let me geez inside of her. Raw dog style. Oh, you call your daughter.

Literally anything else. You don't be calling her the name of your ex-girlfriend. Dead ex-girlfriend. Bitches don't like that shit, dog. Let me tell you, the bitches don't like this shit. All right? The bitches don't like it. They've been tripping.

Well, look, that's what they do in the show, right? Well, that's a stupid thing. I don't, you know. I'm just saying, so you meet a girl. You marry her? Yes. She has a child. Hopefully mine.

I'm not falling for that again Bet's not to ask But then it's like I want to name her after my ex-girlfriend Oh let's take a step back What if it was like I want to name her after my dead mother That's different

Is it? You don't buy your mother Do you know Mom You lied to me You asshole No I just don't think You know

I think Like Okay so what if you have a son and she says... You name your son after a dead girlfriend. Or like, what if she said? I want to name him after my ex-boyfriend. Are you so insecure? Yes, I am.

All right, yes. There we go. So there. No, imagine you have a kid, okay, with Starlight. Okay. Aaron Moriarty. Right, right. And she's like, listen, we have a kid here, okay? And I had this previous relationship with a guy, okay? What? What the fuck do you mean?

Hoare! You're damaged goods? and you didn't tell me? Which is a natural reaction, I think. You're right, I can't win this one. You've won, beating me with logic. I know I have, yep, yep.