Brian and James Fuck Each Other - Episode 299 : Boy Erased

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

Reggie WHATS????

The nine that Arnold still looks good now. Yeah, he's still shredded. He does add through Wodies now. Is that right? Yeah, you drive past local Wodies and Finglis, he's there. Yeah. Handing free samples. Now don't eat these.

Too late, pal. We just turn light real quick, all right? It's kind of a bit dark in here. I like it when it's dark. So they can't see me cry. So your next option for movies, okay? Again, it's killed by debt. So what happens in Baker, then how does it end?

Very boring. He just wins. Arnold wins a contest that the guy you started, and then he, the magazine makes like a billion dollars. Okay. And he also cheating his wife at one stage, but it's no big deal. With a woman or a man? A woman. Oh.

No, he wouldn't. What? Wash her mouth out with soap. I'll wash my mouth out with soap if you wash the rest of yourself with soap. Because you stink, motherfucker? No, you don't. You're fine. And my mouth stings.

as well. So the next film I think we should talk about, okay, it's more meat on this bone, is Breed. Now, Breed is a film directed by Andy Circus. So this is Breed. Is that what you're saying? What did I say?

To some people, it might sound like Breed, B-R-E-E-D. No, it's Breed. Breathe. That's how you spell it, isn't it? B-R-E-A-D. Brennan's Breed. breathe. Today's

breathe today. Brett then. Breathe, breathe. Yeah, no, look, whatever.

Oh, you got me. Sorry. Oh, yeah, I was feeling so good this morning and you come along.

I buy you cans. Yeah. I kind of love the abuse, to be honest. I know you do. I buy you cans. They all do, Brian.

That's the secret. That's what nobody. That's their guilty little secret that they don't want to say out long. Oh, the little girl's in the bus. You can't. say breed can you

you won't be breeding all right so yeah it's directed by Andy Circus Andy Circus is an interesting directorial career he's you know he's trying I'll say that

he did breed and he's done Animal Farm and now Lord of the Rings yeah he's doing the new one he's doing the new one where all the cast are back that's exciting isn't it

well no I tell a lie some of the cast are back and some of them recast I think some of them are dead. Oh. Yeah. So, you know, you got Ian McKellen there. Yeah.

He's still doing it. He probably has no idea what the fuck's going on. I think they couldn't get, is it Vigo Mortison? They couldn't get him, so they got Jamie Dorn instead. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. The fans aren't very happy with this.

Yeah. We won't get into that now. Aragon, is that him? Vigo Morson's character? I think Aragon, yeah. So, it's the, all the chicks really dig. game. I didn't like him, you know. I like, you know, like Frodo. I like the little fella. I like Sam.

Second breakfast, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did like Sam, actually. What's his name again in real life? Sean Aston. Yeah, he's good, yeah. He's actually the head of the union, the acting union. Is that right? Yeah, yeah. Good for him. Yeah, he's not good for him, really. He's all the paperwork to do and all that. Yeah. All these people are like, oh, yeah, AI actresses keep stealing my job and accusing me. I got me toed by an AI actress But yeah So back to breathe

So it's real Oscar Bay chite And I was like, why did they make this? I found out at the end And I was like, oh, okay, it's all that makes sense But start to start Andrew Garfield plays a fella Who loves not being disabled It's like his favourite thing

He runs around And he plays cricket and he goes to Africa He loves going to Africa He loves to go to Africa It's like his favourite thing He goes there, plays tennis sees some of the locals.

Just go near them though. Oh, okay. He's too busy playing tennis. They have these like kind of these fancy hotels in Africa and it's all this white people and he's like, God, I love travel.

Broadens the mind. You get to, you know, eat eggs Benedict in a whole another continent. I can still read the Times and the Telegraph, you know. So he meets Claire Foy who played the Queen

in the crown and the other stuff as well and they fall in love all of immediately and he's like you know dancing and all that he's like so fun kind of like me when you date me you know it's like you never stop laughing and you what

what no yeah that's just kind of the review of the sex life I never stopped laughing and he never stopped cry I told you polio the way he fucked me so he meets her they fall in love she's pregnant

couldn't get any better. And to make it even better, there's two Tom Hollanders. Okay. Yeah, she's got a friend, she's got a twin, and they're both Tom Hollander. So they're all going on Africa together,

having a great time, playing Tiddly Winks and stuff. And they have a hula hoop as well. They never seen a hula hoop before, right? So they're doing a hula hoop, and it's like, oh, this is great. Oh, wait a minute, I feel a bit funny. Uh-huh.

And he, it's like, oh, I'll have a lie down. And that night, he has polio. and they try to put on ice on him doesn't work now did he catch polio from the hula hoop

he was he was jirating his hips a lot and he couldn't ask him for it to be honest I mean think about it everyone hula hooped back then everyone had polio no one hula hoops now no more polio

well how do you get polio hula hoops aren't you listening dickhead wake up pal you fucking goofball you got hula hoops on your brain that's your problem. You know, Mongo.

I think it's like a, it's like a virus, isn't it? Or something. Whatever reason he gets it, but no one else does. Yeah. Fucking damn unlucky, isn't it? And he's like, I'm dying. I think it was eradicated with a vaccine. So I assume.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. You've sold out, I mean. Yeah. Getting your Johnson and Johnson money. Yes, sir. My, uh, what was that? Moderna.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, if you believe this, He gets it from some kind of virus and he can't walk or talk and the doctor's like, there's no fucking point even looking at him. He'd be dead.

What's that point? And you know, she's all like, oh, you help my husband. I wouldn't hold on to him to be honest unless you just need a very elaborate paperweight otherwise useless. Good for nothing. So they hook him up this massive thing,

all right? So it breeds for him. He's got like a pipe in his neck. Right. And he can't move a touch. all under the neck and he can't even talk or anything he's like and so annoying

Claire Foy is just like I love him no matter what yeah right sure sure yeah sure women in movies they're like oh loving

the matter what but in real life you know one mistake where you kill her dog once and it's all like a big kerfuffle I thought they had nine lives you know

come on I want to see if you could do hula hoops so he can't breed can't feed himself can't wipe himself for anything and she's like i don't care and the doctor's like no point even bring them back to england he's just dying away there yeah but she'll listen they bring him back and i'm hooked up and all that and she gives birth to the son right and he keeps living because they're like oh any day now he'll pass away but not he's just got determination and power of will and money oh yeah that's also like he's actually got so much

money that he calls his old friend who's a hot balloon, hot air balloon man, okay? Right. And he's like, I got a spiffing idea. Let's invent a wheelchair with an engine so he can power your lungs. Right. So he develops his thing. It's like a massive yoke in the back of a wheelchair. But then they can wheel them around only for like, you know, an hour.

And then they got to bring him back. He's got like a big diesel generator on the back. It's like bolt start him like a lawnmower, you know? as green diesel. Get stopped at the border. So it's like, oh, this is great now. And they wheel him around. It's like, oh, why stop there?

And then they like fucking put him on a fucking airplane and fly him around. And then drive around Africa and a big van with that in the back. And all the Africans love it, you know, because they're like, he's a white angel. Uh-huh. And eventually he's like bleeding into his lungs. so his lungs are filling up with blood he's like I think I'm my head off now I think I'm done here

I've seen Africa again you know what more doesn't get pretty sick of clear for you to be honest she's just so fucking optimistic it's like bitch can't I have a day where I just don't feel good about myself no you have to be positive

manifest destiny live laugh love yeah so live laugh polio that's the new slogan so he's decides like it's time to end it now

and he kind of talks to the family he's like okay I'm going to meet you individually say goodbye and have a big party as well beforehand you know like drink everyone's drinking he's just there he's like the blood in my lungs

cheer up buddy it's a party oh no I'll left to pin the tail on the donkey game at home actually here we go they wheel him up front pin the tail on there well Yeah, so they're all doing, they're all having fun jumping around dancing, doing bags of coke and all that.

He's like, ah, quag, and then. The only bag he gets is a colostomy bag. What, hey! I got the bags mixed up. That's good shit. Come on, no. Come on, he loved that. We're cooking, baby.

So they're all having fun and all that. And then the doctor, who, by the way, is Stephen Mangon of all people, you know, from Green Wing. Yes. They have a crossover episode there. Oh, yeah. He's like, hello, everyone. I'm a doctor. It just turns the off switch, you know.

It's like, okay, my work here is done, you know. Job done. And then he dies, okay? And then, you know, they all have like a funeral. Like, God, he really changed the world, didn't he? And the son grows up to produce Bridget Jones Diary. Wow. Yeah.

Jesus. And from that, and the Edge of Reason sequel. Mm-hmm. And from that. Bridget Jones's baby? He didn't do that. Oh. even he's like all right

let's fucking Jesus I'd rather have polio to be honest No but then The box office sales had polio By the looks of it That's probably not even true It probably did very well

Yeah yeah Oh I look like an idiot now don't I Well you don't know the box office returns Of the end of reason So and then the son formed a production company With Andy Circus Oh

And then they made the movie So it was kind of like, hey, Andy Circus, if you want me to fund your career, you better make this movie about my dad, you know? So it's biased completely. Like, I'm not interested in the film. I want to see a proper film where it's like, you know, he's probably going to fucking die.

And he's like, yeah, oh, fuck it. I tell you, the only thing worse than polio is those type of fellas that moved into the town. I don't like smell funny with their curries. I don't want to see like a real film, you know, that deals with these difficult topics. maybe she wants have an abortion or something

and then he batters her with tries to he winks at her yeah like a biopic about how great your dad is when the estate of the person

being portrayed is involved you're never going to get the proper story same of Michael exactly like they're actually making Michael too

and they said they're going to address the accusations won't go into what they are Look them up if you don't know. It's just like one scene of him reading a newspaper. Oh my God, look what they said I did. Well, it's a good thing.

I didn't and I'm completely innocent. And then just move on. I'm so cool. I'm like, well, they addressed it. I think they made some interesting points. Yeah, you're right. Can't wait to see who they get as Martin Bashir. Who do you think they'll get?

Who could they get Nish? Maybe. Or, I don't know. What is? what is he? No, what is Martin Bashir? What heritage do they have? I think he's like biracial like

mixed black white, no? No, I know that. Yeah. But like whereabouts? Exactly. What's his genealogy? I don't know. I don't know. And the BBC have not responded to my numerous email requests. I want answers

now. Well yeah, I'm just trying to death tell. Well, Bashir yeah, he's probably got like some kind of Bashir, whatever. You know, this is a dangerous game. Maybe let's not, you know. Like, guess who?

Oh, let's move on something else. Yeah, okay. That's one film down there. So breathe. Breathe. Would not recommend it. So far, these two films you didn't like either. Didn't like either.

I'll be honest. I'll tell you what, actually, I'll change my tune here. I did kind of like the next film, killed by my debt. killed by my debt and it's a very sad film and it's even sad

or you find out the real story okay so killed by my debt stars a young plucky kid he's like 19 and he decides to get a job

right yeah he's got like a a stepdad who is in house of the dragon the moment so I really got excited there you know

too much like oh yeah do do do do do do where's Tyrion oh I spent all my money on this dragon and I'm in serious debt No

I was drinking coffee But no I got it Yeah Well I tell you what actually happened You'll feel pretty crummy To make your little jokes about this Uh

We actually got some criticism On TikTok there Did we? Yeah Can you remember the Toosla video? No What did we say? I made some jokes

About them killing children Oh right Yeah I stand by you I want somebody Chuckish What that did they You think killing children

Is funny You got a response To that retort Uh I don't know depends how you did it were you dressed like a clown when you did it you know

that's pretty funny I guess no I guess not then fine killing children isn't funny are you happy there I had to bend the knee completely go back on all of my morals and ethics like

okay fine it's actually bad satisfied all the fans like you've changed man yeah still out So, well, I'll say, so he's a young fella, gets a job, he's a courier.

And his job is he moves organs around. Oh. You know, one hospital's got a kidney, another hospital needs a kidney? They hire this lad drive around. And he doesn't work for the hospital. He works for a third party. It's like a courier service run by Jonathan Pye.

You know, Jonathan Pye, the YouTuber? Yeah? It's like, ah, the bloody Tories, absolute cunt waffles. I didn't know he was an actor. I think he hasn't done much. but he did this. Right.

He's very good in this. He's like, you are not an employee, you're self-employed. We will give you hours when we depend. The more you drive, the more money you earned

and he, you know, crashes or loss of life are not our responsibility. Okay. So I'm like, I like this guy. He really lays down a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure's driving around delivering like hearts and lungs. Yeah. Like a foot. Yeah, did they have like a 30 minutes

or less deal? Oh, this pancreas isn't warm anymore. It's gone cold. so I get it for free now. Where's the garlic dip? I ordered it. I wanted garlic dip along with this intestines. Whatever, dude.

I order spleen. So, but it's funny because you just rock up to hospitals. Like, yeah, I got this. It's like a human heart. You ordered a kebab and here's a kidney? Well, if this is the kebab, then that means, oh no. cut to Brian just chewing on a kidney

is this a new recipe it's delicious they just rock up the reception like yeah I got this heart here and like yeah fine and you assign for it you know but he's loving it because he's got his first job ever so he can go to the pub now and buy a pint

right that's basically it and if he drinks too much and destroys his liver no sweat off his sack he's got about 12 of them in the back of the van you're not supposed to liver them, right? No. No, I'm pretty sure I just take them. Do you deliver? Yeah, deliver. I've got a bunch

of them here. Oh, that's good, yeah. But it's a very sad story I'll say, yeah, you should be joking about it. Oh, sorry. This isn't Toosla-Killing children. This is a real serious topic here. Treat it with some respect. Yeah, no goof in there, right? So, his mother,

by the way, she's a cleaner. So they're not doing very well financially the whole family. So they're kind of need a job, support the house as well. Yeah. And he buys his shit, like and it's always breaking down and that's fucking way his job then because he's supposed to deliver it a certain amount of time otherwise he will

not get his money or some cunt might die or something right oh okay might you know lose a foot or head or something so he does he's like I need to buy a bike he's looking around okay and he sees one bike second hand but he doesn't get in time so another one gets it right he sees like okay

and he goes to this dealer and dealer then does all this smart talk because, like, well, actually, if you buy the bike with, you know, this payment plan, it's almost like it pays for itself. In fact, you're almost making money off this. Like, oh, like, okay. So it's like this thing where it's a payment plan, or you pay for over the course of like 20 years. But there's interest on it or whatever. It goes up a thousand euro every week.

Yeah. It's a good deal. I do it, you know? So he's like, all right, so he does this. The dad helps him, by the way, the stepdad. helps him to get the bike. So he's got to pay the dad as well. And, you know, he gets speeding ticket then.

Oh. And the thing is, the delivery company, they almost incentivize, like, you've got to get there a certain amount of time. If you don't get it, then you won't get paid. Yeah. So, and he's not going crazy. He's not like doing back flips or, like, you know,

um, popping a wheelie and jumping over a train or something. It's like, you know, he turns right, you shouldn't turn right there. But the cameras monitor everything. Oh, okay. You know, Camden City Council. Right. And they,

send notes and it's like you know it's like 80 quid if you don't pay it within three days it goes up to a hundred oh you don't pay then it goes up to 120 so he's like oh fuck and then he gets another ticket then he's like oh got earn more money so he's doing more jobs gets another ticket he's got pay off the dad as well the debts keep going up and up and the council they don't handle this stuff themselves they hire again a third party debt collector service right and they hire some guy you show up with a camera on his head. And he's like, you owe this money. You have to pay right now.

I don't have it right now. You have to pay right now or as it goes up again. Goes up under 30 quid for every word I say. Oh. So you better be careful because I won't stop talking, bitch. He just hangs around the house then. What? Yeah, he gets very threatening.

That's mental. Yeah. And he's like, we're going to take the bike off here. It's like, oh, I need the bike. And I take the bike off him then. Yeah. So he can't fucking work now. And he's still in debt.

Oh my God. And he's panicking all that. And then he starts looking up how to kill yourself and read it. I was watching to be like, I don't think he's doing well. I think they're implying here that he's going through tough times here, you know.

He needs to listen to a blind boy podcast real quick. Get him back from the brink. Well, he's a blind boy, all right? So instead he goes to the swings. And you know, like the swings, you're meant to swing on him? Yes. He hangs himself on him.

Right. Yeah. Different kind of swinging. You think that's funny, do you? No. I agree with the going TikTok now. Yeah, and then it ends with real-life audio of the mother calling the debt collection thing. And like, oh, my son's dead.

Probably shouldn't see. You know, like, oh, my son's dead. It went away. Like, yeah. And debt collector service is like, he should have paid. Yeah. No, and you better fucking cough up too. There's actually a suicide clause.

where if you kill yourself it the price goes up yeah either pay us now or head down to the swings hopefully there's enough room for two and don't worry the happy ending is that the debt collecting service has almost tripled their profits in the last few years oh yeah they're making so much money i'm actually getting chased by the debt collectors right now yeah well where's the local swings give me an idea yeah yeah it was real i tell you it was only now we're doing hour. Okay. I did like that.

It was like a BBC tree kind of TV movie. Right, right. I kind of appreciate it. It's an hour. It's a little story. And I might not described it like it was serious,

but the actual thing itself was pretty well done. Okay. Now, the sad part is the young fella who's in this. It's all about him driving a bike, all right? After this, he got Gen V.

Remember that? Gen V? The boy spin-off. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. And then he was driving to a set and he got on his bike

and he got run over. Wait, really? Yeah, in real life. He's dead? He's dead, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. So, it's almost a bit like, you know, his first role ever was him on a bike.

And he ends up dead. Yeah. A bit of a James Dean type. You know, I think he had a good career ahead of him. A bit like that Anton Yentic. Anton Yeltsum. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I said. We had discussion about correcting me. I said I wouldn't do it as much. I haven't. Yeah. But very good in the, in the. show now, I had to say you now. He was good. Well, that's a shame.

So I like that one. The other ones are shit. Okay. What was your other one I was going to talk about? So shit, I don't mean. You want to watch it. Let me check my notes. Yeah, I honestly can't remember, to be honest. If I'm being honest, then I am being honest.

I told you what they were. Yeah, you did. And you had this glazed overlook you always have. Come on. He's trying to read his own writing again. again. We could be here for a while, folks. Boy erased. Boy erased.

Which actually isn't bad either. Okay. Boy erased is also directed by an actor. Joel Egerton. Oh, he's good. Yeah, and it's a good film, I must say now. A little bit, it's a little bit, you know, I would almost say Oscar baity,

but it's a little bit like, you know, they're going for, they're making a statement, you know. Tugging on the heartstrings. They're tugging a little bit too much, you know. Tuller and. the old cynic doesn't feel nothing. Yeah. Yeah. It's about gay

conversion therapy. Okay. It's all based on true story. It's based on this, it's Lucas Hodges, you know him? Yes. Yes, he's the star of the film. He's good. And he, okay, starts off, he's the all-American dream. His mother, Nicole Kilman. Nice.

Woof, woof, woof. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His dad Russell Crow. Holy shit. Rhyrf. So he's got like an Australian alpha power couple. Yeah. They're both American. They're both very Midwestern in this, by the way.

Right. Like, oh, like, you know, like, I'm not very good at accents. It's okay. Oh, mama me. No, it's all. Like, Russell Crowe's a pastor in this who works in a used car dealership. Okay. So they do prayers together than sell Toyotas.

Nice. Yeah. The American dream right there. Exactly. And he's on the football team. Not Russell Crow. and he's banging a cheerleader, not Russell Crue. So this guy, Lucas Hedges, he's on the football team,

you know, pastor father, stay-a-home mother, his girlfriend, Madeline Chime. Who's that? She's like a hot girl. Okay. You have to keep up your hot girls? No. The barstool smoke show of the week?

No. I think that's actually misogynistic. Wait, Madeline Is it Madeline Klein or chime? Which one's the correct one? I don't know, actually. Well, I said the correct one. Okay.

I don't know who she is. What else has she been in that I might have seen her? I have no idea. Okay, right. I just know her she's one of the bar stools smoke shows a week. Okay. Which I check every day. That's like, you know people people check the account, the stock market.

You're just hoping that you'll be on it finally. Come on, when's my day in the sun? I send cockpicks to Dave Portnight. Oh, there's too much foreskin on this. That's his Rayleigh flag on it. I did see a video come out of the Barstool thing there recently. Which one? Some Uber Eats driver delivered food and gotten a fight with the security.

And I mean, like, a full-on, like started throwing punches and the security all had to grab them and drag him out. And then Portnoy fill them the whole thing and uploaded it. I think Barstool, it's interesting how, developed because it was for a while underground and the whole kind of appeal it was like it's basically what if frat boys had

a media empire. Yeah. And a lot of their stuff is them just like drinking and pissing on each other while watching football games and while also betting like they'll put on a bet for like $150,000 on like the time

the coin toss or something like that. It's like they're frat boys that like, you know, like me and you, we're like frat boys. You know, we love going out, crushing beers and chicks. But imagine we were like successful. That's like what they are. I don't think the business model is interesting because they're frat boys when they started,

but now they're all in their 50s. Even funnier. It's like Ali G. It just gets funnier and funnier the older again. Boy, haka, I see with my main man, Dave Portnoy. He's telling me that Israel has a rat to exist. Break yourself now. You excited for the new Allerjee?

We're getting to that later on. I can't barely contain myself. But the point is with the bar stool is they're getting bigger and bigger. They don't deal with Netflix. So now they're like on, for some reason not on our Netflix, but the American Netflix, they are. You can watch their podcast.

But again, a lot of it is them just like puking on each other and drinking. You see the one with Shane Gillis? No. It's a good few years ago now. It's like Tire Season 1. Okay. where they had a bunch of, I think they all drank like 17 cans.

Oh wait, I remember him talking about this because he said he was shit-faced, like he blacked out basically. Yeah, so he's got like face paint on. Yeah, yeah. And the whole kind of thing is they're all like wasted waste.

So watch it afterwards, okay? Okay. I think the intern is Asian and the intern's also wasted, okay? And they're just like, hey, hey, intern. Shane got fired for being, for being racist.

Give him peace of your mind. And the intern's like, Well, what do you say? And like, Shane's like, I said some stuff. And then one of the guys is like, what's your order when you order Chinese? What's your order? What's your order? And like, Shane's like, I'm not, I, I really don't want to do this guys.

And the Asian guy is like, come on, let's fight. Let's fight. I'm taking you now. And Shane, he hands it well, he's like, I'm not doing. You're an intern. I'm not doing. Yeah, yeah. I must say the intern is the skinniest little, like he's a little bright.

an Asian brino too I imagine that Shane Gillis is a big dude he's like six six three maybe and he's like you know he played football he's so big

strug and a heart but a heart of gold but I know now what I described imagine that over the course like 15 minutes yeah yeah you're all Chinese order

I'm gonna fight you where am I I'm gonna fight you your Chinese order this just sounds like a night in the town with me really you know

that's exactly what would happen But anyway, we're going up, get back to boy erased. Boy erased, okay? So he's got a hot chick girlfriend, loving life. Now, he does have one friend, and they kind of wrestle each other sometimes. And let's say they're on the beach, having fun. And it's like, you know, having fun. Him and his friend be resting each other and, you know, their girlfriend's like,

hey, come on, let's go get some ice cream. Guys? You've been doing this for four hours now. Your shorts fell off. Guys. So he Oh my God, you've got a jellyfish thing Oh wait, no, it's an erection

You've both got erection He's pissing on your erection You can't piss with an erection No, on the erection I said Oh, you're right, sorry, sorry You know you'll do well You should know da You've never been to the beach at me pal

So It's all going well The girlfriend wants to have sex He wants to go all the way You know fifth base Whatever it is I don't play baseball but he's like, no, I think we should wait until we're married.

That's a sign right there, pal. What, that he's a gentleman and a good Christian? Oh, yeah. Oh, is that a red flag these days? Nah, there's be pissed on her boner. Whip out your lady boner, let's get it on. So he goes to college then, Lucas Hodges. I have to say this is a very good scene.

They have bunk beds in college. They're in like a dorm thing? I don't know. Maybe that's an American thing. Okay. So it's a bigger guy. Very attractive, must say now. Oh.

And this is all silent, by the way. He's on the top bunk and Lucas Hedges in the bottom. And the guy in the top bunk, the bigger guy, this kind of slowly gets down into his bed. And he's kind of like, hey, what are you doing? Shh, shh, shh. And he's like, uh, okay. And the bigger guy just kind of pulls down Lucas Hodges' pants and just kind of puts

his cock on him. And he's like, no, no, no, no. he starts like squealing like a pig. So he rapes him? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Jeez.

And then this is very overkill. The guy rapes him and calls his parents. It's like, your son's gay. Oh my God. I don't feel safe with this little fruit cake. Your son tricked me. Yeah. Yeah, he has a kind of crisis of conscious.

He's like, your son lured me into being gay and I can't take it. I blew his back out for 12 hours straight. You got to do something about this. So Russell Crowe, I mentioned he's a pastor, okay? He doesn't take this well. Well, actually, you know what? He does, he doesn't do like the Irish thing like he's blowing up, Brian. He's like, it's okay, son, you're just corrupted by the devil.

Don't worry, we're going to send you a place so you'll never see. And if you don't, you know, get cured, we'll have to kill you. But, you know, it's kind of like a very level-headed homophobia, you know. And by the way, it's three. grand. For conversion therapy? Bargain.

Come on. I'm not paying that man. Come on. Jimmy O'Toole, not going to shell out. No, that's for like the initial payment. So the way it works is, I don't actually don't know.

Yeah, got him. Did you? Yeah. The fact you know could have proves it. So the initial session is 12 days and then after that

they decide what to do with you. So you walk out or do you have to send you to the next level? Right. Yeah. So, and he's sent to the gay conversion therapy. Now, this will make you straight, all right? The teachers are Joel Egerton.

He's a recovering gay himself. The program worked on him. Okay. And flee. Flea. Flea? Yeah. From the red hot chili peppers?

He's a recovering drug addict, also gay. Like, he's done everything. Right. So imagine those two guys. They make you straight, wouldn't we? Heroin, crystal meth, penis. He's done it all. Yeah, he smoked all those pipes, all right?

So those two guys, now one thing I was like, it doesn't make sense. So you kind of think that gay conversion therapy, be like, it's what you think is like push-ups and, you know, how to stand properly and, you know, that kind of stuff. There's also girls in the gay conversion therapy and fleas making them do push-ups as well.

Well, because they're lesbians, is it? Yeah, but wouldn't that make them more masculine their world, you know? I'm not sure. What's the logic of doing push-ups? Well, you're right, actually, yeah. I'm like, everything else makes sense. Yeah.

Like, that is going to cure homosexuality. Yeah, he basically used, like, the army. Like, they shaved their head and they got to do push-ups, play baseball. Okay. And one, I have to say now, not to sound creepy or anything or, like, bad, but the casting director did a very good job of picking gay little children. Like, you know, like, what I mean is, okay, children that look very effective. And by children, they're all of age, I imagine, okay?

but I mean Tilt me out brother I haven't seen the film so I'm not sure how deep into

these waters I want to tread but like you have to you can't just pick like very gay children all right you're like

the child and curb enthusiasm yeah you can't pick that you have to pick like gay children that look like they're trying

to hide being gay I see it's a very difficult process it's kind of like you know when they pick the new Ron

in Harry Potter you know the TV show they had to go through 40,000 thousand ginger children. Okay. Imagine that.

I finally got them all in one place. They could have done something. The Lord's work, you know? A bit of a gas leak or something, you know? Problem solved. He can say you. Yeah, that's right. So you audition as well, didn't you?

That's Hagrid. Didn't get it. I was too smelly and retarded and ugly, they said. And too many children in my shed. Wait, just to go off topic from it I'll get back to gay conversion therapy, don't worry But Harry Potter, the show, is premiering Christmas Day Oh

You're going to get the family all together And get swept up in the magic No Maybe an owl will come to me, mommy Don't talk with that shit And you heard the kind of drama About season two There was shooting season two

With Harry Potter right now Okay So they cast Nicholas Holt Yes As Lockhart You know the Kenneth Branagh character. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he got so much pressure and stuff, he dropped out. Because of the JK Rowling thing? Right, right. And they cast Kit Harrington instead. John Snow? Yeah. Wow. Which I actually think, I don't look forward to that.

I like John Snow. I won't watch the show, obviously. What's the show? Is the show just the movies again? Again, yeah. Okay. Why do you say it like that? Isn't that amazing?

Maybe? I hope they remade. it every. What be cool is, okay, if they remake all seven books every single year and it's have nonstop Harry Potter all the time. More money for J.K. Rowling.

I just love Harry Potter so much. Okay. Do you really? No. I can never... I know a lot of girls who, it's funny, they are kind of like, I support, you know, trans people and all that, but if you've got to die from me to see Harry Potter again, so be it.

Yeah. Lord works in mysterious ways, you know? Yeah, I won't be watching it. Nah. I never really give a fuck about Harry Potter. The only thing I'm interested in see if John Litgow survives. Why wouldn't he? Well, I mean, he is pushing 80. Still? Prime

of his life. Yeah, here I. Shut up, con. That's, that's what I. That's him is Dumbledo. So back to Boyer raised. So he gets there and they're all gay little teenagers and Joel Egerton

and they're all very good at being gay but who are pretending to be straight and you can recognise when somebody's doing that

well as a master of the craft like an old boxer who can see the moves yeah yeah so you know it's kind of usual stuff look like a butterfly

suck like a beef they treat it like a disease or addiction it's not your fault it's not your fault you think you're attracted to the men. That is not really

because of you. It's cause of your DNA and your family. The first thing you do to cure it, okay, is you have a family tree of addictions and problems. Right, okay. So you give you a family tree and you put in like your uncle, your granddad, your secret stepmother

and all that, okay? Half brother, and then what to do is each family member you write down their problems. Okay. So like alcoholic, smoke, watched pornography all that kind of stuff that's just my little brother

he's pretty cool he's only six you know drug use stealing crime not paying TV license all that stuff

yeah yeah and then you can kind of calculate then what made you gay okay sort of like an equation exactly yeah a negation nah

I mean what's wrong with that that's harmless isn't it yeah it's funny what's wrong with conversion therapy. It's harmless, isn't it?

Bantor. Just banter with the lads. You know who went to conversion therapy? Bow and Yang. Oh. Yeah. Hope his dad got a refund.

Uh, I think he went to a few. Okay. He's like, I just got to find the right one, you know? And he watched his son on S&L. He's like, we'll still find the right one one day. I have high hopes for this, Mr. Yang.

I believe we can cure your son of his affliction So that's one thing to do Another thing Flea is very big On his standing Okay

So how do you stand normally You know On my two feet Yeah but where do you put your hands In my pockets That's a bit fruity Is it? No you're supposed to stand

With your hands on your hips Like that Really? Yeah Well I do it So how to stand You have to keep like that What about the

arms crossed. That's pretty good. Like a bouncer, you know? Not tonight, pal. Not tonight, pal. No cocks tonight, pal. Yeah, if you're wearing trainers, if you're not wearing dress shoes, you can't fuck me in the ass. You aren't assless chaps.

No tracky bottoms in my asshole, pal. Not tonight, go on. I'm checking their IDs, but if they're over 18, no, not tonight, Paul. Sorry. Not my thing. Hit the bricks. So they make him play baseball as well And there's one very particularly small little fella right

And he gets, it's his fault really He kind of puts his head in front of the ball And he gets hit and he falls over He's grand like flees just like get up right But then the little kid he tells his dad And dad's like, you can't hurt my child I'm trying to get my I'm trying to fix my kid And you're psychologically damaging him

With the baseball You know he could have got a concussion for Christ's sake and they kind of bitch out Joel Egerton. Concussion. Funny enough, his nickname is Comcution, so you sure you want to take him away from here or not? What are we doing here? This is your dime pal.

The teacher's so funny. I've got to give him another $3,000 grand. Yeah, so Joel Egerton takes away all their phones and contact with the parents and stuff. Because that's going to ruin the treatment. Okay. If you complain about it at all. I see.

And Joel Egerton, He, like I said, he's recovering gay. He's got a wife now. And she is really not fun. No? No, she's real frowny, you know. Right. Yeah, she's like, bleh.

So we really had to commit to it, didn't he? Get the most miserable battle like she could find. This is heterosexual. Isn't it great? Yeah. She's always complaining. I'm not allowed to dance ever, you know. And it's great.

I love it. Praise Allah. Now, how are these things legal, these conversion therapy? Like, how do they... Well, this takes place in, like, the early 2000s. I think this takes place around... It's not like that's many evil times, Brian. This takes place before the Simpsons movie.

Before Spider-Pig. Right. Does whatever. Remember that? I do. Are you excited for a Simpsons movie, too? I am not. I'd rather go to conversion therapy, thank you very much. Try and convert me from loving the Simpsons.

Go! But I know, if family guys better. I'm like, no. No. Derivative. So, oh, I should mention as well that he is allowed to have some time to meet up with Nicole Kidman, his ma. Yeah. His dad is busy.

Sure. Yeah, he's been busy for a while. Right. He's like, I'll talk to you when you're fixed. So she's a bit, she's not as worried about the whole gay thing. She's kind of like, can't we just let him be happy? I'll send you to a fucking converter. The dumb bitch.

version. It's a lot cheaper. It's just me and a lump hammer. Violence against women, yeah. Hey, this is your world that you're talking about. The old favorites from James Catton. I'm simply inhabiting the mind of this hateful individual.

As an actor, I can do that. You know, it's living truthfully within imagined circumstances, right? That's the thing. live in the world of someone who's nice to me impossible. Sorry, Bob. I'm not Daniel Dale Lewis. Even he would refuse.

I'm Daniel Gay Lewis. Hello. I drink your milkshake, sweetie because you don't need it, you fat pig. Ew, carbs again, whore. Sorry. Dig your own grave.

I was going to talk about now. Oh yeah. So basically there is no big like car chase or anything in this. There's no like big climax. Oh. Hello. Enough with that, right? So he just leaves.

Oh. Yeah, he's like, I'll actually want to be gay. Yeah. And he goes off and he writes a book called Boy Erase and he goes on NPR. Right. Yeah. And then the kind of surprise at the end is, National P penis Radio. sadly not

no no wonder it appealed to him you know and Joel Egerton he leads as well a few years later what do you mean oh right right sorry he goes back to

he has a husband isn't that like that happens a lot people that are involved in these camps in like an administrative capacity eventually say

oh I was just lying to myself I'm actually gay and there's nothing wrong with that but here's the thing how are these things legal like how are they allowed to I think there's some in Ireland. Really?

Yeah, we should check that out. That might be a fun kind of investigative journalism thing. Okay. Because, you know, we have a lot of free time now that were kicked out at house. Sure. So I might just go to conversion. We can record there. That could be fun.

I don't think. We're looking for a gaffe anyway. That could be. Yeah. Two birds, one stone. All right. But I think they have gay conversion therapy, but they don't mark it like, fix thequeers.com. I think it's kind of like helps you get in contact with Jesus

and the fine printer. And also if your son is feeling strange about sexuality, we can put him straight in a natural, helpful way that involves whips and a drill. Right. Okay. Oh, I psyched that. So yeah, the boy erased. That's the end.

All right. Well, I'm glad that he got out of that and he was able to monetize it, capitalize on his trauma, you know. That's what we should all be doing, you know. So that all saying, misery loves company, well these days it's misery loves commodity. Because that's what we do.

You know what? We capitalize on our trauma, don't we? I think this is a great shame with you, because, you know, people are, you know, obviously distracted by like, oh, beating women and all that. But if you listen to him a little bit longer, folks, you'll actually say something that won't just make you laugh, but it'll make you think.

sound like a queer pal, somebody Daniel Queer Lewis Well, thank you Brian That was very nice to you to say I thought that might be a good idea For an Edinburgh show Misery loves commodity Where I talk about how

You're being serious Our modern society You know capitalises Yeah, yeah That's the type of shit they love over there You know I think they're past I think you're

They're going past that now You know What? Crying about their problems I think it's... In Edinburgh. Are you joking, Paul? They've become too cynical now.

Have they? Yeah, I think they have. I think the whole... The joke is always like, oh, your dead dad show or like you got raped or something. Like, I think now... It's gone full circle now. People's going to want a good laugh because the world outside is so grim and sad. What are you basing that on?

Literally nothing. Yeah, literally nothing. Literally is a dream I had. Yeah, nothing. There's still cunts over there doing it all that fucking... Way, way, way, my mommy's dead. my daddy couldn't afford conversion therapy, you know. Oh, woe is me.

Yeah, yeah. Nah, they're still doing all of that. Well, I support them, you know. Do you? I do, yeah. I like to see good art. Right. That's why I watch Star Trek.

Yeah, and you think Edinburgh is where the good art happens, do you? Oh, like, you've gone so cynical. Okay. Well, I'm going to go Edinburgh next year, check it out again, see all shows. I'll tell you what, you know the way you can kind of go in, there's two roads in the yellow wood right is that the poem Robert Frost

is there yellow wood sure two roads diverge of yellow wood and you can be the James cynical you know like yeah man fuck that dude or me

I have an open heart don't say open asshole okay I have an open heart I think it goes without saying quite frankly so I would go in when I was in Edinburgh

okay I'd go around and some of the best shows I saw were things that sound fucking stupid like I went to one show, okay? It was just a woman who didn't make any nice at all. She just did, like, mime and stuff.

That's refreshing. Imagine you to show you. Oh, I wish my wife was like this. Before me in the misties, give you all that. I'm trying to watch the fucking spurs. Why don't you laugh? Another show, I remember it was like a guy, it was kind of like a one-man show thing.

and it was a lot of sound effects. Sound effects were very big in Edinburgh. Oh, yeah? I remember he had fake leaves in the ground. Okay. That was exciting. I suppose he could incorporate fake laughter since he's not going to get any of the real one.

Yeah, that's right. Whoa! God damn, I love being bad. Bad boy. Yeah, lock up your daughters. Why? I don't know. It's good to know where they are.

Keep him safe. came close to your heart you know one day you know you don't even realize it but that day was the last day you picked her up in your arms

now she's an only fan with Brian O'Toole in her like why aren't you responding to me I gave you so much money do you really love me by the way man only fans okay

half time the girl on like you know like the girl the pictures okay first you're talking to it's not even the girl. How do you know that? I've seen it. I'm following her in real life while messaging the page and she doesn't have a phone

in her hand. Some of the girls they... They can get one over on me. Some of the girls, they laugh about it. They're doing interviews on plug talk and stuff like, ah, it's so funny, I'd be on live, okay? And there be someone texting who they think is me and they're like, wait a minute, you're on live, you're not texting. What a loser, dork from Carlo. Ha!

Iron 22, you're going to let her say? You couldn't have to disrespect my father like that, Adam So we're at the hour Any other crack before we head on? No RIP to Oh yeah, let's just go to all the beautiful people

Who are dead A few people Okay, so Tim Curry No offence to him But he It wasn't a shock Let's just say, it's like when we die It wasn't a shock, right?

He had a stroke The bigger shock was like Why, he was still alive? Giannis, I actually did think he died a while ago Yeah, yeah But he still kept going He was in the I think the live version

Broadcast and Television Of Rocky R. Picture show And he was there He played the wheelchair character Well, he kind of had No choice in the matter really Yeah And then Dolly Parton died

Yes Who We talked about on the Patreon I watched Littlest Horhouse Yeah In Texas And who else died Everyone's having a go at Reggie Watts

For killing his girlfriend You see that Now, what do you think about that? Have you fallen for the propaganda, Yitzah? I read the article. And the article is, so apparently he really pushes, like, people around him to do lots and lots of heavy drugs. Even if they say no, he's like, come on, do it. So that's one thing.

But then there are other things that he did. So he's got STDs and he doesn't tell people that he fucks. that he has STDs. He also, this girl he broke up with, he sent her a video of her having sex with him that she didn't know he filmed. You're making it's hard for me

to defend him. I feel like a very unprepared person in court and like my client, like he didn't fucking, what the fuck? But here's the worst one, right? So because he has STDs, he tells some people. Like, I don't think he tells random hookups.

Also, he's polyamorous. That's his whole thing. So if you're, in a relationship with him, he's still fucking other people. But there was one time he came up behind his girlfriend and initiated sex, so I guess he just stuck it in, whatever. And afterwards, when he come, right, he said, I'm so sorry, but I just had to know how you actually felt.

And then she looked down and he wasn't wearing a condom. But the rule was that he was always supposed to wear a condom because he's got STDs, but he fucked her bear back without telling her, which is not cool, I would say. say that's pretty not okay. You know, call me a wet blanket if you want, but uh, also he shite as well, I mean,

fucking musical comedy improv gimp. Have you ever tried to watch any of his stuff? Insufferable, self-indulgent, pretentious shite. That's a cadden I know. I'm just saying, you know,

I was never a fan of him. He always wrecked my head. I never watched more than a second than him. What's his story now? He was on comedy bang bang, it was a podcast. Yeah, yeah. They already changed the theme song as soon as the article dropped,

they... You know, you're done. Yeah. He's doing a team song for us now. That's how bad it's gone. Brian and James. Is that what he do? No, he does like beatboxing

and he's got like loop pedals so he'll like go and then hit a button and then you just hear that play out and then he'll start going, I went to the market. He'll start singing. and in an Irish accent.

Really? He also, he likes to, like, randomly speak as a British man for, like, hours, apparently. He'd be like, oh, fare thee well, my dear. He's kind of like this, you remember the killer

and the end of True Detective Season 1? We're just like, well, my dear, I did have a jolly good constitution. And, oh, I felt ever so enlightened in mine spirit. So I'm just trying to think

now his career, Comedy Bang, Bang. I think he was the band leader for Seth Myers, wasn't he? James Gordon. Oh, now it all makes sense. James Gordon probably told him do all that. He was like, I don't want to do it. He's like, come on, Gavala. Gavala, Regula!

I want you, my son. You slag. Yeah, oh, it all makes sense now. Look at this big hotel, hotel. He broke American boy. I know what you're drinking. Take that. I know what you're taking.

rap singer, chain blinger. And what else do you do? Is there any other kind of big thing he did in his career? A lot of like TED talks. They loved having them on the TED talks. He was getting harder and harder to fend this guy. That was the whole thing like UCB improv, comedy bang bang, musical comedy.

Isn't it interesting how like the kind of the nice comedians? They're always like the, you know, the comedy people who are meant to be nice, okay? they're always bad in real life but they're like the supposed of bad boys like you know Antidicumia they're lovely angels

sweethearts never done a thing wrong heart of gold yeah yeah um god that's not good enough was it just a DM what was it called Ket no like ketamine

fucking DMT psilocybin who's always just those kind of drugs the more psychedelics yeah he preferred psychedelics but he also like Adderall, Coke, like he took everything.

He can, he, he, he, he's his self-confessed, psychonaut. That's what he calls himself. Oh,

like a kind of like, Terence McKenna type was like, I'm just trying to expand my consciousness and reach enlightenment by always being on heavy doses of, by rot, dog and hardcore drugs. But he would always push drugs on people. And then,

so the girlfriend who killed herself, she basically had a fucking, oh yeah, I forgot she killed herself. Yeah. But she would, She had a psychotic break, like a manic episode, and then he dumped her. But then here's the really fucked up part, right?

So he still had access to, like, her eye cloud and shit. So after she died, he, like, went into her account and, like, was basically able to retrace her steps of her planning her suicide. Like, she planned it. She went to Peru, and she met this guy who was German. They decided they were going to commit suicide together. And then he put up a video saying, She actually had it all planned out

And it was kind of a beautiful, elegant way to go. And her, the girl's family, the girl's sister was like commenting. It's like, first of all, it's really inappropriate you post on this. Second of all, how do you know all this? Because we don't know any of these details. And then it came out that he was like still at access

to her ICloud account. And yeah, it's a really, he deleted the video, but it's really fucked up the way he talks about it. For a laugh, okay, when I kill myself, you should do a video like that. about me. He went out exactly how I wanted. You know, he was dressed as a cyber man, you know,

and he went into a phone box that he wrote the word TARDIS. He misspelled it, obviously, as he was one to do. And he shot himself in there, you know. And he blames Reggie Watts. Oh, so that's just come out now, and don't believe Reggie's made like a proper statement, has he? No, his lawyer has come out and just like... I think he's doing electric picnic.

Yes, he's doing the comedy stage at Electric Picnic. Oh, fun. Yeah. Is that happening now, is it? I think it's this weekend, yeah. Oh, fuck, I wonder he'll show up? Well, that's the thing. He hasn't pulled any shows.

He's been touring constantly, and he's still in the public eye. He hasn't, like, really addressed it. His lawyer came out and said, Reguat's categorically denies all these claims, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, it's kind of like not a big story over here, but like, kind of over in America where he's a much bigger celebrity. A lot of people are talking about it, you know. Yeah, in Ireland, it hasn't really crap.

Like, haven't her Pat Kenny talk about you. No. Well, once Pat does, then you know you're done, oh, pal. And I still listen to Pat every weekend. He's just the weekends now, all right? Okay. Keeps me going through the bad times. Good.

And they're all bad times, so you need them more than ever. Well, this is interesting about Reggie Watts now. I taught, for you know, like, not to sound all sexes and everything, but I taught, like, oh, he probably just gave her, like, a spliff. Yeah, and she couldn't handle it, you. Uh-huh. Fucking, yeah. Great.

And now it's his fault. Yeah. Racism right there. Okay. And I was like, classic catten. But like... What? I didn't write the article.

Ghost written by cat. But that does sound kind of bad. There's a lot of different stuff. And like, this is all that's come out. Who knows what else could come out. So, but yeah, it doesn't look good for him. And I, you know, I'm not really, I don't, I never listen to comedy bang bang, bang or what. the James Gordon show.

I found it quite hard to listen to it. Yeah, it's not my thing. Yeah, it felt like to me listening to like, it's like listening to people who are really good friends to improv, but you're not in the friend group. No. And you're like, oh. And they'll never let you in the friend group, no matter how much.

Especially to hear this podcast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it almost like, this is very on me now, but whenever I would see, like, when I hear like a, like a podcast of like friend improv people or watch the improv show, or even like you know back in day you see

like young teenagers like skateboarding yeah it always make you feel really depressed okay because I'm like I'm not part of it and I never will be

I go up to skateboards like yes and who's odd first well you know what we could we'll do our own comedy bang bang bang on this podcast

where I shoot myself in the head and then you shoot yourself in the head comedy bang bang bang we do a song you'll

boo po pooh boo boo boo boo boo boo bang bang but yeah Yeah, so that's the story with Reggie Watts. It was a wild article to read. That's like the big celebrity gossip at the moment. It's not really, I think the James Blunt thing, he's addressed that and he says it's actually false.

So there you go. Okay, well then. Case closed. Yeah, Reggie should try that. Ah. And I think there's no other big, big gossip at the moment. Yeah, well. We're not really, we're not Perez Hilton, are we?

No, no. No gossip. No one's secretly gay, the end. No one has ever been. ever will be. And you can take it for me, sweetie. I swear to God. So what are we going to do next week?

I don't know. We might record here next week. We might record. Yeah. It's a bridge. I know it smells like piss. We can go there. I actually booked it.

You'll feel at home there. Excuse me. I booked this weeks ago in advance. Tell this young man shooting up that, look, if he wants to be a third mic, maybe we can talk. And you're kind of like, you actually work better on the podcast there.

Man, our dynamic is great. We're singing and sacking, you know. You speak proper. Yeah, so it's near the end there. That's basically it, guys. On the next week, I was considering re-watching all the Marvel movies. Every single one. It's very tempting, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. How could you not? It's right there, you know. Yeah, yeah. I tell you, thank God, actually, that Jimmy works me so hard. Yes. Yeah, it's like, you know, idle hands. That's your conversion therapy

really, a little bit like that, yeah. Because I was like, oh, Daddy, I want to see Iron Man. He's like, no, no, clean the cement. He like throws an iron at your face. There you go. Now you're the iron man, you come. I have to clean the cement off the shovels. That's my job. You have to lick it off. I don't know, I put the shovel off my ass. Ah, yes. Good stuff.

I do a good job, I say that. My ass is very... Yeah, we call it the penis flytrap. Hey! Eo!